# What to do when we can't do it all anymore?



## Okie-Dokie

We need help, or at least are going to. We are debt free on our 80ac. small farm. We traditionally raise a couple of steers, a couple of hogs, a large garden and so on. As we age we can see the time that we won't be able to do all the things we need to do by ourselves. We are discussing having some one come live here and help with things. My question is: how would we go about finding a young person or couple, of high moral standards, that would be willing and able to come here, live in a small but clean mobile home, pay their own utilities and help with small tasks while establishing them selves in a local job, or attending the vocational school near us to prepare for a future for themselves. We don't smoke, drink, or use drugs and would expect the same. We have contacted a children's home to see if they have a placement program for kids that are soon to reach the aging out time of their lives. Good kids, no emotional baggage, that are about to be turned out and need some sort of way to get started in a successful life . Has any one ever crossed this bridge before us? How did it work out, or were you ever able to find a suitable person? Thanks in advance for any advice.


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## Qminator

Considered WWOOFers?


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## jwal10

No Kids or Grandkids, Nieces, Nephews? Next would be a young couple trying to get a start. You go out of your way, they get a hand up, inherit after you are gone....James


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## cricket49

Have you thought about contacting a high school that has FFA (Future Farmers of America)? Maybe someone who will be graduating or graduated this year? Someone who has the desire to work the land like you do. Tell them you only want students with high character and morals. Talk to the guidance counselor at the school. It would be a great opportunity to find the right person who wants to homestead like you and you could mentor them.

I don't know if you go to church but that might be a place where you can get a young person(s) that would be idea to live on your property and help out. The preacher or minister might know someone or a family. They would also know their character.

Personally, I would be very selective on who you get to live on your land.


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## where I want to

I guess I have seen too many cases of older people being taken over by younger people and eventually being made afraid to assert their own rights. 
It sounds like a lovely idea and equitable but it's too easy for it to go really wrong. 
I would tend to simply rent the trailer to a carefully screened person and not expect that renter to provide services. Then use that money to hire non-related locals for the work. The renter then can be a check to report difficulties, especially if they feel they have a good thing going with the rent.
I would also plan to cut back what I get from the land to what I can provide for myself. Basically living within my means.


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## TnAndy

Okie-Dokie said:


> We need help, or at least are going to. We are debt free on our 80ac. small farm. We traditionally raise a couple of steers, a couple of hogs, a large garden and so on. As we age we can see the time that we won't be able to do all the things we need to do by ourselves. We are discussing having some one come live here and help with things. My question is: how would we go about finding a young person or couple, of high moral standards, that would be willing and able to come here, live in a small but clean mobile home, pay their own utilities and help with small tasks while establishing them selves in a local job, or attending the vocational school near us to prepare for a future for themselves. We don't smoke, drink, or use drugs and would expect the same. We have contacted a children's home to see if they have a placement program for kids that are soon to reach the aging out time of their lives. Good kids, no emotional baggage, that are about to be turned out and need some sort of way to get started in a successful life . Has any one ever crossed this bridge before us? How did it work out, or were you ever able to find a suitable person? Thanks in advance for any advice.


I don't know, but my wife and I are in the EXACT same boat.....so if you figure it out, please tell how you did it.

My plan was to build them a small cabin ( like 1000sqft, 2bd, 1bath, full basement ) down on the front of our place, and if they would agree to a long term deal ( heck, we might be around for another 30 years ), turn the whole place over to them. 

Right now, in our mid 60's, the firewood, the gardens, the orchard, the mowing and the critters ( we beef a steer per year from our own cows, raise couple feeder pigs, have chickens, and do all our own processing on the place )we can still handle. But I can see the day 10-15yrs down the road when we can't. We would like to live here until we die.


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## Micheal

I wish you luck in your endeavor to find that special person or two that fit your wants/needs.

It has been my experience that it is better to find ways to make your life easier via newer, better, different types of machinery, using technology, hire out certain jobs, and if nothing else cutting back on what you need to do.

After many years of broken promises from family, friends, and un-done jobs via strangers I've decided a few years back to just cut back to what "I" needed and could do myself. Number of animals were down sized; some gone totally, garden shrank, freezing much of the produce over canning, and did lots of home improvements reducing amount of wood needed to cut for heating.

I leave you with this one thought; I found that it is easier to find people raising animals and produce the same way you do that are willing to barter or sell you their "stuff" then it is to find someone to raise the same "stuff" on your land for you.


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## Scott SW Ohio

Have you thought of posting in the Real Estate or Barter Board sections of this forum? I responded to a "Farm Wanted" post in HT Real Estate and found a nice family of homesteaders willing to live in my fixer-upper farm house and improve it in exchange for nominal rent - not the same situation as yours, but there are people right here who are looking for a way into homesteading.


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## Shrek

Its now called commodity return leasing of farm land or similar term. In days of the past folks simply called it sharecropping. In most cases now the farm land owner gets the smaller share than the cropper or both just split the profit/loss


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## Kasidy

You expect your wife to do it all. I mean she's only 70--that's twelve years younger than you! Those bales only weigh 85 lbs, don't be a wimp!!


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## WildIdeas

I don't know how to advise you, but I would like to say that I'm moving from downtown Chicago to Floyd County Virginia with my fiance to his parents small homestead and though I'm a city girl, I'm excited because there is no way I could have gotten my own land and have the gardening and husbandry skills to do what I have dreamed of. They are aging and not able to keep up and we will be able to do the labor they can't. In exchange, I have some mentors to teach me all the skills need to be successful and learn a new way of life. There have got to be others out there like me.


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## notthereyet

Okie,

Sounds like something I would be very interested in doing, even in my 40's. Unfortunately, I'm not quite ready to completely uproot my life, and I wouldn't meet your superficial criteria, as I enjoy tobacco, the occasional drink, and relaxation with something most people consider to be a drug.

All things taken into consideration, please don't judge people by the superficial preferences they've made for themselves. It has nothing to do with the content of their character and everything to do with your own prejudices.

For what it's worth, I only smoke outside. I have 2 half-empty bottles of liquor with at least 3 years of dust on them, and while I'll usually have a beer when we go out for dinner, I'm still working on a 12 pack from last summer at home. It's been months since I've enjoyed God's Gift, though I have some tucked away for when the mood hits me.

You say you have a small, but clean home for a helper. I'd start by advertising it for rent. Let people know it's a working farm/homestead, and that they can 'work' off part of their rent by helping with the daily chores and weekend projects. This should protect you from anyone looking to take advantage of the situation and also help you determine if someone's worth keeping around. At the very least, the extra income from renting will help offset any additional costs of hiring outside help.

Good luck!


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## COSunflower

My oldest son's family just moved in with me a week and a half ago. It is crowded and noisy but I am MORE than thankful for the help!!!!


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## kilgrosh

First, where is your farm located? I'm very seriously toying with an idea just like this to allow me to get into homesteading/farming.

Second, I would build a small cabin, get it metered for separate utilities, and rent it out to a younger couple/family/single. I would use the rent towards hiring extra help as needed and barter with the renters that for each project they complete their rent gets cheaper. Just don't count on the labor every month because they might be okay with the rent sometimes if they get busy.

Third, what is your plan for the property when you both pass away? Would you leave it to your renters, granting that they have been with you for the last several years? 

Fourth, have you considered renting out your land to other farmers? If you can no longer do all the work but another farmer is looking for space to raise cows, chickens, etc., that might be an option. 

Final thought, I understand that you would like to have good, morale, upstanding people on your farm. I barely drink but I will have a beer or wine every now and then. We like to entertain which involves wine/beer/cocktails plus some guests do smoke. No drugs at all. All I'm saying is that finding someone to fit your "ideal" person might be a very long search. 

Anyways, best of luck to you and let us know how it goes.


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## Smitty0560

I know that this post is a couple months old. Just came across it and wanted to comment.

My first thing to say is that there are certainly people out there who would find an opportunity such as you described to be a blessing.

My fiancee and I are seeking a life of farming. More specifically, I wish to be a dairyman. But regardless, we have no clear cut path to take to reach towards our goal. One avenue we are trying to explore is to find an older couple who are slowing down but don't have anyone they wish to leave their farm to. Unfortunately, those opportunities are darn near impossible to find.

Enough of that, but in regards to your situation. One thing that I've seen in my own search is that opportunities to rent are much harder for people to stomach. Some things I noticed were people wanting someone to rent and do things working with them. The problem I see is that it leaves the "renters" with little that they stand to gain in the long run.

A case that I can see as being the exception to that are opportunities for equity building. Things like that would be probably be more short term. I could foresee that working for building a herd or for infrastructure possibly.

Well, those are some of my thoughts for what they're worth. Feel free to provide your input or let me know if you have other ideas!

Oh, and I almost forgot. One resource I've been looking through are places/organizations that exist for connecting people in similar situations. From NY, there is the NY Farmlink and the more general Land Link through the New England Small Farms Institute. You may give it a shot trying to locate an organization like that for your area and look into posting there.

Good luck.


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## hawgsquatch

What about an old guy like me, who is almost out of kids to raise and is about to retire from a L.E.O. job and teach online college while doing as much hunting, fishing, and seeing of this awesome country as possible in the next forty years or so?


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## motdaugrnds

Okie, There are quite a few people in exactly the situation you are in. Just know there are risks involved in bringing another onto your place. Even if you check references, you never really know how those people are going to treat you down the road when they learn your weaknesses. Not to scare you, but caution is a real plus in doing what you're contemplating.

Personally I am finding toning down what I expect of myself is of great benefit. Using "raised" beds to guarden is a great help. Cutting my goat herd back to only 2-3 is helpful and letting everything free-range is helpful. Learning what you can do now at this stage in your life, arranging things on your place to make chores easier and not expecting another to cover what you cannot do would be of benefit to you.

If, however, you're determined to continue what you use to do, then, with your amount of acreage, bartering that trailer for help on your farm could work for you.


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## Forcast

notthereyet said:


> Okie,
> 
> Sounds like something I would be very interested in doing, even in my 40's. Unfortunately, I'm not quite ready to completely uproot my life, and I wouldn't meet your superficial criteria, as I enjoy tobacco, the occasional drink, and relaxation with something most people consider to be a drug.
> 
> All things taken into consideration, please don't judge people by the superficial preferences they've made for themselves. It has nothing to do with the content of their character and everything to do with your own prejudices.
> 
> For what it's worth, I only smoke outside. I have 2 half-empty bottles of liquor with at least 3 years of dust on them, and while I'll usually have a beer when we go out for dinner, I'm still working on a 12 pack from last summer at home. It's been months since I've enjoyed God's Gift, though I have some tucked away for when the mood hits me.
> 
> You say you have a small, but clean home for a helper. I'd start by advertising it for rent. Let people know it's a working farm/homestead, and that they can 'work' off part of their rent by helping with the daily chores and weekend projects. This should protect you from anyone looking to take advantage of the situation and also help you determine if someone's worth keeping around. At the very least, the extra income from renting will help offset any additional costs of hiring outside help.
> 
> Good luck!


I dont really think you can expect someone to live by your rules if they are renting a trailer on your land. I dont think you can dictate that they dont drink watch porn or eat pizza on Thursday nights. And as for foster children, I dought very much they would know the right end of a shovel to put in the dirt. The foster kids I had had never done anything work related, maybe put the dirty dish in the sink if told, before I got them. Its not easy training people! Mother Earth News has a section for farm hands, people that want to learn farming ranching ect. But bringing strangers into your home is always a risk, and Im not sure worth taking. I dont trust people anymore. The problem I see is if the tenant did do what was ask of him while holding down his own full time job, what would you do. I just cant see working a 10 hour day and then getting home and working on YOUR the farm, its hard enough to do when its yourown farm. If I had no family even extended then I guess I would down size sell off and 
move on. It usually happen when one of you die, have a stroke ect.


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## Wolf mom

I worked for years with the elderly in a rural area. 
From my perspective, seldom does bringing in an outsider to assist end up working out. Too many multiple issues result. One being as the owners become more frail, they depend more upon the tenant who never bargained for the additional work. Trading work, no matter how much they learn, is just not enough - eventually they move on. Then the owner, older now and possible more frail, is back to square one.
I've walked into many homes where nothing is done, clearly the owner needs assistance, but is too poor to hire someone and refuses to move. "Lived my life here, gonna die here". 
And family, adult children have moved on with their lives, maybe across country and due to jobs or whatever can't give the attention that is needed. Talking with them, you hear the frustration, love & pain. The message clearly comes through that they want to help, but the parents just won't sell. Even if it gives them money to live a gentler lifestyle, closer to family that can be there for them as they age. We won't even ask what are you going to do if your spouse dies? If you can't do everything now, together, how is one of you going to manage alone?
The end result is that the owners live lives of existence with no joy stuck in an idea (Can't give up my home) that gives pain to their children and no one wins. 
And after the elders die, I've seen adult children so very angry at their folks leaving houses full of "junk" (may have meaning to the parents) that they have to get rid of. 
This is no longer the era of the Walton's. As much as we elders dislike it, change can be growth.


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## Tabitha

The problem I see is that it leaves the "renters" with little that they stand to gain in the long run.

A case that I can see as being the exception to that are opportunities for equity building. Things like that would be probably be more short term. I could foresee that working for building a herd or for infrastructure possibly.


Good luck.[/QUOTE]

What does a renter stand to gain living in an apartment complex? 

We have hired help every so often and found that the younger the more unreliable. Their pleasure and social life comes before work. No way would I let someone live in our very nice cabin in exchange for work. the stress of them living there and not doing the agreed share would kill me. Nope, put it all on paper, have a contract, charge rent, use the money to pay for the work. If they do not live up to the contract evict them. 
People pay money to learn things, except the skills you could teach someone are supposed to be free. While you are dealing with a possibly inept person who does more damage than good. (voice f experience)


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## CountryWannabe

I would not exchange living arrangements for work. It may end up as a nightmare. I agree that renting out the MH, with a proper and legal contract may bring in sufficient to hire workers as they are needed. 

Work smarter, not harder. Use your time now to figure out what would make tasks easier in the future. Get rid of stuff that makes life harder. I have a cart I can hitch to the ride-on mower to haul feed, hay, etc. to the critters and fertilizer, whatever to my fruit trees. We have reduced our livestock to just the number needed to feed us, perhaps a couple extras for gift giving (hair sheep are pretty self sustaining through spring/summer), I reduced my goats to 5, my chickens to half a dozen, and when the last steer is butchered next year I will not replace him. I may (or may not) buy a couple of hogs to raise over the summers, but that will depend on how active I feel. I did container gardening on my (granted, large) patio this year. It was easy and I only had to step out the back door to it. No weeding to speak of. I would be drowning in produce had the goats not got out and ate most of it.

You have a lot more property than I do. Can you rent out some of it to local farmers? Again - if you do this make sure all the Ts are crossed and the Is dotted in a legal document. Personally, I would go for short-term leases. One year or so at a time. That way if it doesn't work out you only have to grit your teeth for a short while and if it does work you can renew for a similar period. If you consider going this route be sure that you understand the cycle of the lessee's needs. Hay folks' timetables are a lot different to those of cattle people or sheep farmers.

I would (again - personally) not do any sort of share arrangement if considering renting land. I would do a simple lease. The other party pays me good, hard cash up front. If s/he has a great year I would rejoice for him. If it was a bust - commiserate. Sounds harsh, but I would not want to put any risk on my own head. As you get older you have to take care of you first and foremost

Mary


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## Maura

Hire someone. Myself, I&#8217;d first hire someone to come in once a week and clean house. This is the person who, eventually, may be the one calling your son because you aren&#8217;t eating, or calling EMS because you feel down and have a swollen ankle. This is the person who will start out coming in twice a month, then once a week, then twice a week and you will already trust them to be in your house.

Outside, what do you most need help with? Hire someone to come early in the morning to do the livestock chores, milk the cow, move hay. The sooner you hire someone to help you, the sooner you will find someone you trust who will become a bigger help in the future. Don&#8217;t wait until a steer tramples you before admitting you can&#8217;t run as fast as you used to, or the fence needs repair.


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## mamaboog

I sent you a PM regarding this. I realize that it might be a little odd, considering I haven't been on these forums for a very long time, nor is my post count very high...

But this sounds like a great opportunity for me, and my family -- if you guys wouldn't mind a family.

I hope you find, or have found, the help you need.

And this goes for anyone reading this thread, really. My boyfriend of 9 years (yeah, don't ask me why we haven't tied the knot -- it's mostly in regards to getting benefits for school and just being comfortable with one another at this point!) has graduated with an AS in Database Administration, is pursuing another AS in Programming which he'll finish this semester, and plans on finishing up his Bachelor's in Computer Science sometime this century.  He is super handy - he's done a bit of construction work, he has laid wood floors, he knows how to work wood, and we both love to garden and run a community garden here in town.

My dream is to someday own a little homestead out in the country with enough land to have a blueberry farm and a small orchard - I grew up in upstate NY until I was 14 and have fond memories of apple picking every year.

I didn't mean to hijack this thread. I'm sorry! I just hope that people know while you can't trust everyone (I've learned this especially since becoming a mother), there are still good, even great people, out there that want to help.

I'm sort of verbose and chatty. Anyone who might need help, please send me a PM. We don't really like where we live and we're willing to relocate. I'd love to hear from anyone soon!

:ashamed::grin:


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## Solar Geek

Look for people like others look for live-in nannies. Nannies teach, love and guard your most precious 'crop' - your kids. And they often live with you. Searching for the right one takes time, effort and prayers (lots of those). Also realize that the people you are interviewing might not look like you or sound like you but good hearts and faith and hard work (as shown by their past choices) and a willingness to LEARN will go a long way to being the right match.

So, here goes.
Go to sites that hire "interns" for organic farming and look at their pitch to these intern wannabees. Some even make the interns pay! Then, craft your ADs or searching the same way. Maybe even start with an "internship" for your farm. I am using organic farms only as an example of how to word things and how to search. 

Not sure if you are in OK but here are some sites just found by searching "internship organic farm" and then clicking on the state you are in. I used OK for you.

http://www.bootstrapfarm.net/#!internships/cjkt

http://www.kerrcenter.com/stewardship/interns.html
http://kerrcenter.com/nwsltr/2009/fall09/interns.htm
http://www.kerrcenter.com/stewardship/2014-intern-announcement.html

Again these are just examples of how to word your ads, what potential hires are looking for (altho not the academic stuff of course!)

http://www.livingkitchenfarmanddairy.com/whats-duck-got-to-do-with-it/
discussion of how an internship works

Ok well that took me only .75 hours to help you but you see how easy this is with the right search terms. 

Having interns (offer free rent and 1.5 days off) would help you see if this is the lifestyle change you want (strangers/friends on the farm 24/7) and if you can tolerate having to VERBALIZE everything you do to have them adopt your way or maybe they can offer helpful ideas from their past internships. 
Hope this helps


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## Cabanaboy1313

Maybe in a few years you might want to down-size the Farm. Either down-size what you can manage by yourselves on the land you have now, or look to move to something a little more manageable. That way you don't have the fear what your "Help" might or might not do. Just my thoughts...


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## Okie-Dokie

Solar Geek: Yes, we are in Oklahoma. About 1/2 way between OKC and Tulsa. We are in contact with the Kerr Center and working to find an answer there. Contacted the local vo-tech. This looks to be a possible answer. They have a 1st time farmer program that looks good. Exploring that with Kerr. Your solution looks the way to go for our particular situation. Thanks.


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## Alder

We've been slowly working this issue through here. 

The fields are rented (for shares) to a neighbor I've known all my life, and they are in beautiful, productive shape thanks to them. No more haying, plowing or planting for me. As we retire, there are plans to mechanize more (new tractor with loader, brush mower, post-hole digger, snowblower) a larger shop/ machine shed, and everything that gets done is getting done with the idea of longevity. I do NOT want to have to do THAT job again, whether fencing, buildings, home improvement...whatever.

As we get older, we can just cut back on the work. Fewer animals, smaller garden, hire maintenance out. When "too pooped to putter" anymore, we can still live here at home, in a beautiful place, with minimal work.

One thing I would NOT do is bring a stranger or strange family on the place to live. I see all manners of problems with that idea.


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## Michael W. Smith

While it sounds easy - just find a like minded young couple who will move to the mobil home or cabin and and help you out while living their dream of living off the land - there are so many variables.

First, if you expect the young couple to get a job in town - that is going to interfere with them helping you out. And they sure aren't going to want to put in an 8 hour day and then come to your property to weed garden.

Even to get anyone to move there - there has to be something to entice them to make it worth their while. Ideally, they would help you and then when your end comes, they either inherit the property or are buying it for a substantial discount.

The only problem is - at some point the property should be turned over to them BEFORE you die. Because if you end up in the nursing home and burn through your money - the state will be getting your land. And turning it over to them - even giving you a "allowed to live here rent free for the rest of your life" language in the deed - once it's in their name - you have no control of what used to belong to you.

And when you get unable to care for yourself, are they expected to come in and help you with your daily activities - eating, toileting, etc?


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