# is there really such a thing as loyalty?



## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

is there really such a thing as loyalty in love? I wonder sometimes. When things are good in a relationship it is easy or people to eagerly engage themselves in a union, but then when the spark starts to fade so does the eagerness to be together. 

it seems like loyalty is becoming and old fashioned concept. it is so hard to trust that love and those you love will still be there tomorrow.even with myself, i never know if the love I feel for someone will stick around. The love I feel can feel so strong and true and then one day I just wake up and the feeling is gone.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

I should not have put this thread up. dont even bother responding.


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## unregistered168043 (Sep 9, 2011)

OK CB just waiting for the sky to brighten up then Im going out to see one of those deer that like my corn so much.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

and shoot it and eat it, I hope.


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## CajunSunshine (Apr 24, 2007)

Too late, CB! It's out there now, but you don't have to read what I think, lol!

Yes, true lasting love IS old-fashioned but not out-of-date. It takes old-fashioned ethics to keep it going: forgiveness, patience, understanding, honesty, respect, along with absolute faithfulness.

To put it more eloquently:

"Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning of a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love become as coals, deep burning and unquenchable." --Bruce Lee

Or to put it bluntly...people who think true love is all about flashing lights, horns blaring and bells a ringing all the time maybe oughta get their ears checked, lol.

On the other hand, those who repeatedly suffer that ol' dead-fish-in-the-water feeling may have genuine cause for concern (because of a truly rotten partner), OR because of a deeply rooted fear, OR failure to realize (according to Robert Heinlein) "Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own."


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

What sunshine said.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

City Bound said:


> is there really such a thing as loyalty in love? I wonder sometimes. When things are good in a relationship it is easy or people to eagerly engage themselves in a union, but then when the spark starts to fade so does the eagerness to be together.
> 
> it seems like loyalty is becoming and old fashioned concept. it is so hard to trust that love and those you love will still be there tomorrow.even with myself, i never know if the love I feel for someone will stick around. *The love I feel can feel so strong and true and then one day I just wake up and the feeling is gone*.


Then you were never in love.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

well, it feels like love. Some people are married for most of their life to the same person and they just wake up one day and they are out of love with them.


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## CajunSunshine (Apr 24, 2007)

No Suh, that ain't love. That is infatuation that has run out of steam.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Then they were never in Love, you dont fall out of love, not true soul touching love.
I've only had this kind of love once and it will never fade, it will always be with me. And I've realized that I may never have it again, however waiting on something or someone that may never happen and moving on with life does not mean I've stopped loving them. 
They are forever embedded in my soul, I will carry their memory with me til I die. They have made me a stronger person for it. And enlighten my heart and mind.


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## Fair Light (Oct 13, 2010)

CajunSunshine said:


> Too late, CB! It's out there now, but you don't have to read what I think, lol!
> 
> Yes, true lasting love IS old-fashioned but not out-of-date. It takes old-fashioned ethics to keep it going: forgiveness, patience, understanding, honesty, respect, along with absolute faithfulness.
> 
> ...


Well Said !!!!


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## unregistered168043 (Sep 9, 2011)

City Bound said:


> and shoot it and eat it, I hope.


No luck on that...maybe later.


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

I wonder the "why" too, CB. I can't wait until Jan 1st. I want to get out of this year.


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## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

:donut:

Yes, CB, there really is such a thing as loyalty.

:donut:


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

I think loyalty is cemented by money. IF he is working HARD, keeping his nose to the grindstone, and eyes shut to avoid loose pieces of nose or stone, than they can have a life of love as the other can keep her attention on buying the things needed to make that lovey dovey nest a loving home. Dosnt have the time or inclination to look around to see if another guy can do that.


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## TNHermit (Jul 14, 2005)

Love is a decision not a feeling


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Raven12 said:


> I wonder the "why" too, CB. I can't wait until Jan 1st. I want to get out of this year.


I am not looking forward to next year. it will be the year of the dragon. Could be an agressive year in the world. I think the middle east will try to cut off oil like they did in the 70's.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

bill, you are right, I see many people who are loyal to the comforts and the money. Money really can buy you love, but it can not buy true love.

There are people who are loyal for more nobler reasons though.


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## Vickie44 (Jul 27, 2010)

I think many people are to selfish to be dedicated to much of anything except their own satsfaction.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Vickie44 said:


> I think many people are to selfish to be dedicated to much of anything except their own satsfaction.


I painully have to agree with this. it makes life a deeply lonely place to be sometimes. it does not feel good to know in the back of your mind that one can and might be kicked to the curb at any moments whim.


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## Terri (May 10, 2002)

Love is a feeling.

Taking the time to build a loving relationship is a decision. 

Both are needed: I think that few loves can last unless the roots of the relationship are watered from time to time with effort, thought, and conversation!..... by both partys!


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## Ardie/WI (May 10, 2002)

TNHermit said:


> Love is a decision not a feeling


I would say that love is not a decision, but an emotion.

Loyalty is a decision.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

City Bound said:


> I painully have to agree with this. it makes life a deeply lonely place to be sometimes. it does nto eel good to know in the back o your mind that one can and might be kicked to the curb at any moments whim.



I hope someday you'll find your soulmate CB, then and only then you wont feel the way you do. I just hope the feeling is mutual for both of you, it hurts like heck knowing the other does not feel the same when you know deep in your soul they are the one you'd give of yourself completely, mind, heart, body and soul.


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## TNHermit (Jul 14, 2005)

Think of a cake

Is it only the frosting or both. The cake (decision) gives substance and gives the frosting (feeling) shape. Other wise its a undirected pile of feel good

i feel sorry for people who base love on hose they feel in the morning


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## coolrunnin (Aug 28, 2010)

I really have a hard time believing money can buy love, It might buy the illusion of security but it isnt going to buy love.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

love is a feeling and a choice. loyalty is a choice to live a more virtuous and noble life. cheating is a choice also, and so is walking away from your spouse and children.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

coolrunnin said:


> I really have a hard time believing money can buy love, It might buy the illusion of security but it isnt going to buy love.


it can buy what most people consider love, but it can not buy real love.


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

I thought we already did the dog thread last week?


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

We did the cake thread analogy too, but someone forgot to invite TNhermit


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

I think it was forest gump who said: Love is like a box o chocolates.....it tastes great going down, but it makes you fat and rots your teeth.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

That's not what he said. Grumpy but.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Fowler said:


> That's not what he said. Grumpy but.


Maybe it was Forest Grumps, then.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Lol!!!


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## TNHermit (Jul 14, 2005)

coolrunnin said:


> I really have a hard time believing money can buy love, It might buy the illusion of security but it isnt going to buy love.


i can tell you for a fact that money and status will buy you love. Not only that those holly wood types don't marry for anything else.


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## Guest (Sep 27, 2012)

I disagree about the money thing. Because I don't spend much, a lot of people assume I have no money. Women have offered to pay me for gas and buy me lunch and stuff. Although I can't find one that really wants for me, as a generalization, women have been overall pretty decent about the whole money thing. I never took any money for nothing, and I'd as soon starve as eat from most restaurants.


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## sherry in Maine (Nov 22, 2007)

this is love:

two folks meet, attraction, hot flames burning.
Cools down some after a while, but the 'pilot light' is still going and by then there are more things in common, more history shared, more hard & good times (sometimes one more than the other) a little more appreciation of the other (sometimes even grudgingly) building this life together aint easy, it is nothing but pulling together in the same yoke. It is enjoying life & walking a path with someone, and sometimes if they can or cannot walk beside you, you take the lead for a while. Sometimes they take the lead and you follow. It is being able to raise your head up from your path and look around and see what progress you have made, or to watch the birds or look into the sky and realize that you are part of a big big ongoing process, and the part you play, and your dh or dw plays is such a teensy tiny, speck in the universe. It all goes on with or without you - so if you want to get mad because you feel put upon by the other, or they feel that way, just remember that YOU are responsible for your own happiness. Your partner, loved one, significant other is only responsible for his or her own as well.
We must all remember that this is it! This is life, we're shuffling along, doing our best, working our hardest, loving or not loving our hardest. Wish you were somewhere else? Cant resolve that feeling? Then go!
You make your own happiness. You make your own misery. Can you see clearly enough to tell the difference?
Be as kind to one another as possible; you dont know what is down the road. (wish I had known/practiced that a long time ago) Appreciate the 'now' and the 'here'. 
When the end comes and the other one is left behind, only then can you sense the big gaping hole that he/she left when they exited the universe.

It's part of a big plan; we dont know it while we're living it. Be happy. Be kind.

Remember that your ego doesn't matter, when you are with someone and you want to make history with them.

Well, a little more rambling than I meant to, but you can figure out the words that apply.


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## BamaSuzy (May 10, 2002)

I think TNHermit got it exactly right.....love IS a decision and not just a feeling...I've been widowed for seven weeks now so I'm new to this single life again...I may never love or marry again BUT IF I DO I don't plan to "settle," it will be to someone who loves the homestead life and who is a person I can depend on to stand by his decisions...and if one of those decisions is loving me then I would expect that man to stand by that decision....a love based on mutual respect can last and last and last....it doesn't just "go away."


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## Guest (Sep 27, 2012)

I feel terrible for your loss, Suzy. It's a soulnumbing thing to go through. I hope you work your way through with the least possible damage.


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## sherry in Maine (Nov 22, 2007)

Suzy, I am a widow too, but not a 'newly' widowed. Lost dh to cancer- 3 years ago this November.
If you ever need anyone to pm, please feel free to pm me.
It's hard at first. You'll make it!


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## Guest (Sep 27, 2012)

Sherry appears to be a good person to talk to. There are several women here who have had their husband die, and they all seem pretty nice.


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## coolrunnin (Aug 28, 2010)

TNHermit said:


> i can tell you for a fact that money and status will buy you love. Not only that those holly wood types don't marry for anything else.


Hasnt ever bought me anything like that... Good thing to because I have mostly been short of it..


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## sherry in Maine (Nov 22, 2007)

Hey Zong!

'appears to be'!?! . . . . (ahem) I YAM a good person to talk to . . .


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## TNHermit (Jul 14, 2005)

BamaSuzy said:


> I think TNHermit got it exactly right.....love IS a decision and not just a feeling...I've been widowed for seven weeks now so I'm new to this single life again...I may never love or marry again BUT IF I DO I don't plan to "settle," it will be to someone who loves the homestead life and who is a person I can depend on to stand by his decisions...and if one of those decisions is loving me then I would expect that man to stand by that decision....a love based on mutual respect can last and last and last....it doesn't just "go away."


Sorry about your loss ...... We could be too old fashion


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## Marshloft (Mar 24, 2008)

City Bound said:


> is there really such a thing as loyalty in love? I wonder sometimes. When things are good in a relationship it is easy or people to eagerly engage themselves in a union, but then when the spark starts to fade so does the eagerness to be together.
> 
> it seems like loyalty is becoming and old fashioned concept. it is so hard to trust that love and those you love will still be there tomorrow.even with myself, i never know if the love I feel for someone will stick around. The love I feel can feel so strong and true and then one day I just wake up and the feeling is gone.


 CB,,, I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this before.
Love is not a feeling,, its a choice.
Feelings come and go,, but once you choose to love someone,, hopefully you would have gone thru all the scenarios in your head as to why you choose to love that woman/man.
Either way,,, it doesn't matter unless your SO has also chosen to love you in return. Instead of relying on emotions.
I think in years past,,, most couples dated at least for a year, with good reason.
You both had the opportunity to go thru the seasons.
You probably didn't want nor care to hear all this,, but what the hey,, I had some free time.
GH


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## tambo (Mar 28, 2003)

Vickie44 said:


> I think many people are to selfish to be dedicated to much of anything except their own satsfaction.


I agree. People use to need each other more than now. The man needed the woman to keep the home fires burning. The woman needed the man to bring food and crops to the fire. I don't need a man to survive but I want one to share my life with. Most men don't need a woman to survive (OK I know work with me for a minute) but they want one to share their life. Back in the day it took both to survive before there was a store to provide for them. IDK that's just what I think.


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## tambo (Mar 28, 2003)

Marshloft said:


> Love is not a feeling,, its a choice.
> 
> Tell me heart that. I'm having a hard time getting it to listen me. It's a very real feeling to me right now.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

tambo, I do not know about everyone but I actually prefer a life of healthy codependence. When i was a away in poland I was much, much happier about life because I was picking the kids up from school taking them to school, making them food, sharing meals as a family, and it was nice that people cared. Then I get home to an empty apartment, no one to cook for and help, no one to share goals with, and it is not a nice feeling.

it feels good to need the person you love in a good way and it eels good to be needed by them in a good way. And it eels good to build a life together and to see that your care and imput is really making difference in your life and the life of people you love.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

marsh i am ffirm believer in long engagements and dating before marriage. It takes time for people's heads and sex drive to calm down and it takes time to know if you fit together.

Generally, I think a year is about the right lenght of time to know if you actually might want to marry the person, then the second year is finding out if you really can marry the person and if doing so would be a wise choice. so within three years of a serious relationship people would know and then get married.


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## Marshloft (Mar 24, 2008)

tambo said:


> Marshloft said:
> 
> 
> > Love is not a feeling,, its a choice.
> ...


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## tambo (Mar 28, 2003)

City Bound said:


> tambo, I do not know about everyone but I actually prefer a life of healthy codependence. When i was a away in poland I was much, much happier about life because I was picking the kids up from school taking them to school, making them food, sharing meals as a family, and it was nice that people cared. Then I get home to an empty apartment, no one to cook or and help, and it is not a nice feeling.
> 
> it feels good to need the person you love in a good way and it eels good to be needed by them in a good way. And it eels good to build a lie together and to see that your care and imput is really making difference in your life and the life of people you love.


CB I think you have a chance to have that very thing right now but you choose not to. Why is that? I'm being serious too. PM if you like.


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## tambo (Mar 28, 2003)

If you ( anyone) was set up for a prearranged marriage, Do you think you could just choose to love them and how long do you think it would take? I don't know if I could do this. If they treated me with respect and was sweet to me on a regular basis for a long period of time without fail I think I couldn't help but to fall in love with them. I would have to be attracted to them though.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

well, what choice do both people have in a arrange marriage, it is ether like it or lump it. Unless you are grossly unsuited or each other then you learn to get along and love each other. it would be like being assigned a partner or a project in school, you may not like each other but you are stuck together and have the same goal to achieve so you really have no choice but to get along if you want a good grade or if you want to win the three legged race.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

if people are not attracted to each other eventually both parties unmet sexual needs will make the other person look a lot better, especially with the lights off. If they will still find each other attractive after the itch has been scratched is another story though.


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## Marshloft (Mar 24, 2008)

tambo said:


> If you ( anyone) was set up for a prearranged marriage, Do you think you could just choose to love them and how long do you think it would take? I don't know if I could do this. If they treated me with respect and was sweet to me on a regular basis for a long period of time without fail I think I couldn't help but to fall in love with them. I would have to be attracted to them though.


 Dunno,,, but if it was my adopted mom who pre-arranged the marriage, and she was anything like my adopted mom,, I would just kill myself right then and there.
Why prolong the inevitable.


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## tambo (Mar 28, 2003)

I just never understood love being a choice. I understand choosing a person you want to date. I either feel love for someone or I don't. Just trying to understand it.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

I only understand the choice part after cupid shoots an arrow in you because then the feelings are there and you have to make a choice of what to do with them. I could never chose someone to love if I had no feelings or them that is way too logical. Love is not logical. At best love is a strange powerful force that can only be harnessed and civilized with logic, otherwise love would run you off a cliff.


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## tambo (Mar 28, 2003)

All I know for sure is love hurts like heck when it ends.


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## TNHermit (Jul 14, 2005)

City Bound said:


> I only understand the choice part after cupid shoots an arrow in you because then the feelings are there and you have to make a choice of what to do with them. I could never chose someone to love if I had no feelings or them that is way too logical. Love is not logical. At best love is a strange powerful force that can only be harnessed and civilized with logic, otherwise love would run you off a cliff.


here is why its a choice of decision. No matter how long you date or talk or anything else you will never know everything there is to know for the future.

The package is to draw you. Then you start the process of discernment. Finally you agree on a vision. (How are to people going to arrive at the same destination if they don't have the same (overall) vision) Once you agree on the vision then you make the choice or decision. That decision is that no matter what comes the two of you are heading for a mutual goal.

Now all the two of you have to do in the morning is to make the decision for that day to head for that goal. 
Yes that goal can change or be modified according to circumstance as long as you agree. When one person wakes up and says i'm done. don't care about the goal. I want my way. The relationship is done.
But if you stick with the goal the mutual accomplishments along the way will draw you together and you will learn each others strengths and weakness's. Then you will understand a deeper love as you go.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

hermit, eventually you both let it all hang out and come as you are. At irst you both want to be be liked, you want to make a good impression with someone who you eel a strong pull towards and both people put their best foot forward. Ater some time struggling to make a good impression and to please the other person becomes too much to bare and people just let it all hang out and it becomes love me or leave me. then you both get a fuller picture of the more complete person and you have mingled so much that you get a sense if you are both a good match and symbioticly stronger better off then you were alone.

also too, you get to see i the afection continues to evolve and deepen or each other. Sometimes it does not and even though you care or each other you hit a wall that you both never pass as a couple. I the limitations of the wall are too much to bare, then the effort has reached its end and the union disbands. 

shared goals are crucial to a lifetime relationship.

hermit, are you saying love is a choice to team up with someone heading down the same road as you?


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## momof2 (Mar 28, 2003)

I think people complicate it TOO much! When you realize the person you are attracted to has become your best friend and you share a vision and purpose for the future the rest is just details. It's when you are teamed up and headed down the same road with someone that you get excited about waking up next to in the morning... and even more excitement happened the night before.  

I don't get the "let it all hang out" stuff. Why would anyone not put their best efforts into someone that they care for? Whether that is dressing your best, looking your best, cooking/cleaning your best, etc... I give my best to the people I care about. Everyone has bad days but it's deceiving to portray yourself as something while dating that you can't sustain through a LONG TERM marriage.

Love is not logical but loyalty and commitment are... they are choices that have to be made... you know the whole "for better or for worse" stuff


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## TNHermit (Jul 14, 2005)

City Bound said:


> hermit, eventually you both let it all hang out and come as you are. At irst you both want to be be liked, you want to make a good impression with someone who you eel a strong pull towards and both people put their best foot forward. Ater some time struggling to make a good impression and to please the other person becomes too much to bare and people just let it all hang out and it becomes love me or leave me. then you both get a fuller picture of the more complete person and you have mingled so much that you get a sense if you are both a good match and symbioticly stronger better off then you were alone.
> 
> also too, you get to see i the afection continues to evolve and deepen or each other. Sometimes it does not and even though you care or each other you hit a wall that you both never pass as a couple. I the limitations of the wall are too much to bare, then the effort has reached its end and the union disbands.
> 
> ...



First of all you have bought into the modern BS. its all about me. I am someone and all the rest of that crap.

Most people that are in true love don't let it all hang out. They take care of themselves and other things out of respect.

Look at it this way ... What if the worse happens. your both sick or some such thing. Do you just say the earth with each other because everything is not all pretty and cool and fun.

Men are attracted to Women as was intended. Then you go about the discovery process to see what you have in common and what your mutual goals would be. Can't tell me you haven't meant a hot chick and as soon as she opened her mouth you knew she wasn't for you. you have to satisfy more than the visuals. You need to be attracted in body ,mind and spirit. But of course we don't get married anymore just in case. Which is the same thing as saying i don t really want to make a commitment and a decision to love you . I don't want to go through the effort it might take for the ups and downs. I'm basically a shallow me first person
I have no integrity to keep my promise of for better or worse NO MATTER WHAT.

Love is not only a decision . it takes GUTS ! its for real men and real women

And to add to that. Most marriages until the last couple centuries maybe were arranged. Think about that. And during those times we got some of the best and most cherished writings on love


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

I meant let it all hang out as in, be yourself.


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## momof2 (Mar 28, 2003)

That is assuming then that while dating people are being deceiving! I agree completely with putting your best foot forward... I just think you should keep it there forever!!

I have some bad days... I get sick and exhausted. Even on my worst days I am still clean, neat and dressed (never, ever, no matter what in sweats or the like). People need to just be themselves and then maybe when an attraction happens it can last because there is nothing bad that is going to suddenly pop up or be discovered


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

TNHermit said:


> *First of all you have bought into the modern BS. its all about me. I am someone and all the rest of that crap.*
> 
> Most people that are in true love don't let it all hang out. They take care of themselves and other things out of respect.
> 
> ...


:clap::clap::kiss::clap::clap:


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## Marshloft (Mar 24, 2008)

tambo said:


> All I know for sure is love hurts like heck when it ends.


 Yeah,, pretty sure you're talkin to the choir.
CB's original title to his post said something about loyalty.
Loyalty comes from making a choice does it not?
I havn't a clue where the foundations of loyalty originates in each person.
Some would say their religeon,, some would say their parents, its how they were raised.
But I don't think so. We are either too individual,, or just too much of a rebel to be put in a box.
I used to get a kick out of my adopted dad when he called my adopted mom and old cabbage head. She deserved it for sure.
They were the pillar of the community and church.
So,, I can plainly discount parental upbringing and religeon.
But,,, I wanted a family so much it hurt,, and I was loyal to the bitter end,
Did it hurt?? He_l yeah,,
Would I do it all over again??? yes,,, just be more selective this time with allot of communication.
Its all about true openness, communication, and trust.
The trust part is the hardest to get past once you've had your heart cut in two.
GH


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## TNHermit (Jul 14, 2005)

City Bound said:


> I meant let it all hang out as in, be yourself.


Should do that from the start. The concept of dating is failry new. I for one could never figure out why two people would go dining ,dancing and football games and what ever and then say they love each other. After the wedding all of a sudden its reality.

if your a homesteader then be yourself and plant a garden ,muck stalls or what ever. if your a carpenter do carpenter things. Once again we been sucked into the glitz,glory,money (even if it aint a lot) and status (coolness).

And most women will dump you in a heartbeat for their kids if they have them or even afterwards. WRONG!!! More BS


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

I meant let it all hang out as in, be yourself.


Your way or highway?


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## Guest (Sep 28, 2012)

I feel compelled to tell you that I've been on drugs for 40 years and do plastic surgery on my face with no laxatives. If that works for you, please call BR-549.


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## Guest (Sep 28, 2012)

Haters


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Fowler said:


> I meant let it all hang out as in, be yourself.
> 
> 
> Your way or highway?


no. I mean, it takes time for some women to feel sae enough around a guy to let him see her without her make up or her hair done up and it takes time or people to feel comortable enough to belch without feeling embaressed.

also, it takes time for someone to show their temper. At the begining o a relationship people are very tolerant and forgiving because you are more strangers then not. As you become more familiar people usually feel safe enough to let their temper out more. Maybe the nagging comes out later.

then you can see how it is really like to be with the person.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

We don't choose who we love, we love who we are given. (When I say "we", I mean some of us.)  You don't choose your parents, your siblings or family. Its the luck of the draw and they are all you know until you grow up and see their faults and personal shortcomings. For a while you may resent all of that, but in the end you love them anyway. You look at them as a human being and accept them. When you fall for someone they are everything you have ever dreamed of, but after a while you find that they loose their temper, they can't cook grits like your mamma, you don't like the way they brush their teeth, and their farts stink just as bad as everyone else's. You look at them and see the person you love. Or, you choose not to.


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## momof2 (Mar 28, 2003)

City Bound said:


> no. I mean, it takes time for some women to feel sae enough around a guy to let him see her without her make up or her hair done up and it takes time or people to feel comortable enough to belch without feeling embaressed.
> 
> also, it takes time for someone to show their temper. At the begining o a relationship people are very tolerant and forgiving because you are more strangers then not. As you become more familiar people usually feel safe enough to let their temper out more. Maybe the nagging comes out later.
> 
> then you can see how it is really like to be with the person.


I don't need to feel safe to take my makeup off... I just don't want to scare him away too soon! I see what you are saying... I just think people should continue to give their best. Just cause I feel "safe" enough to take my makeup off I'm not going to stop wearing it and start being more sloppy just cause I feel like I can. That wouldn't be showing love and respect to someone. I will always give my best... somedays that may be no makeup but still dressed and neat. I believe that men are visual and I believe it's wrong to portray yourself as sexy, cute, whatever and then do a 180 on them. Likewise I wouldn't want to date a guy who is helpful and caring and then after a while becomes selfish and lazy.... or worse good looking then gets fat and sloppy! It's just a matter of being real and showing respect. NOW... loyalty would be sticking together through and in spite of these things. A very good reason to make sure you really, really, really know someone before marriage.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

of course, once you find someone you mesh with when it comes to the good the bad and the ugly, a relationship is a little easier.


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## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

:donut:

yes.

the good, the bad, the ugly ... and the beautiful.

:donut:


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## Evons hubby (Oct 3, 2005)

I have always beleived that loyalty, love, and lust are separate entities, often confused with each other. Reading through this thread brought that fact abundantly clear to me once again. 

I recall reading George Burns book several years ago about Gracie and himself. He made reference at one point to one incident that took place in their lives that has stuck with me. It seems that at one point George was guilty of having a little fling with some hollywood bimbet, and Gracie had found out about it. Gracie being the class act she was did not throw him out..... she loved George, and knew that he loved her. George, not having quite the same amount of class bought her some new silver flatware in his clumsy efforts to "make things right". Quite a few years later, while chatting with a friend, the friend made some comment about the silver, and Gracie related the story of how she had acquired it and added... "I do wish George would have another fling.... I could use another set of silver!"

George wrote his book some 30 years after Gracie has passed away, and also mentioned that he could not recall the name of the bimbet anymore at all.... but he still carried a bouquet and placed it on Gracie's grave every week. That, to me, explains a lot about love, loyalty, and plain ol lust. It also shows me that Gracie was indeed a very wise as well as classy woman.


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## CountryCabin (Mar 8, 2007)

City Bound said:


> no. I mean, it takes time for some women to feel sae enough around a guy to let him see her without her make up or her hair done up and it takes time or people to feel comortable enough to belch without feeling embaressed.
> 
> also, it takes time for someone to show their temper. At the begining o a relationship people are very tolerant and forgiving because you are more strangers then not. As you become more familiar people usually feel safe enough to let their temper out more. Maybe the nagging comes out later.
> 
> then you can see how it is really like to be with the person.


CB I am gonna toss a wee monkey wreck in your theory.

I had sent a good friend of mine a picture of me a long while back. 
No makeup, hair was just drenched from the downpour, was not even combed/brushed. Just pushed it the heck out of my face.
I was preserving food that day so I was a bit of a mess to say the least. 

He liked the pix. 

I figured this way. If we can handle how we look when we would normal look working together, dirty, messed up, sweaty, then that's cool.
The *real* everyday type person.

Later I sent another picture that was taken of me while talking to someone. 
You know one that you are not expecting it and talking, mouth open or in a weird shape ...those never turn out nicely. lol
Pix was awful to say the least... but I got brave and sent it too.
Be darned he was still talking to me. 

I asked for one of him of how he looked while working. I loved that picture as much, if not more than the one that was all tickityboo.

That was what I would see daily for the rest of our years. The one I could sneak up behind him to give him a hug while he was working just to let him know I care.
The real man behind the nice clothes and carefully brushed hair. 

That was many months ago and we haven't stopped talking and caring about each other and being there for one another.
So those not carefully dressed up and make up type pictures (or in person) are not really needed for first sightings, at least for us. One day we will get to see each other all decked out ..if we go a place its required. We are both the homesteaders type, not town ppl.

If I was standing in my garden when he first sighted me, covered in dirt, I would be dressed the same way..in working clothes.
As I told him, way back when...what you see is what ya get! No surprises. Don't like it..leave now. 
He didn't leave.:dance:

Yes there are times when a couple might go somewhere they want to look their best with and for each other, but that may be seldom. 
The everyday working together look is what we both looked at cause that was what we would be end up doing, working together. Getting down right icky dirty at times. Something a hose can take care of rather quickly..but we will not go there. 

I am sure if I burped, a hand over the mouth and a polite excuse me would do nicely and he would not be made to feel like crawling under the floor boards.  Nor I with him.
I believe thats called manners. 

As for being loyal...you bet your hinnie there is and I have a good supply in stock that will never run out.

As for tolerance I think thats a little backwards CB, but thats IMO and experience.

When new to each other, one can think.. well if thats they way they are..I am outta here. 

Later when you learn more about each other and why or what makes them react as they do..you are much more tolerant. Thats where talking and LISTENING really pays off.

Did I say that so you can understand CB? I don't post much so not enough practice at explaining myself at times, via the written word.


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

I could be way off here. I've been wrong before. But, if I was you, and the woman was who I think it is, I'd drop to my knees and crawl to Texas and beg forgiveness for my arrogance. But, that's because I'm a realist, not a dreamer.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

thanks country cabin. You did a good job explaining.


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## CountryCabin (Mar 8, 2007)

City Bound said:


> thanks country cabin. You did a good job explaining.


Your welcome CB and thank you.


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

I firmly believe that, to have true, lasting love, there must first be "like", "trust", and "respect".


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

birds of a feather,
flock together.


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

TNHermit said:


> here is why its a choice of decision. No matter how long you date or talk or anything else you will never know everything there is to know for the future.
> 
> The package is to draw you. Then you start the process of discernment. Finally you agree on a vision. (How are to people going to arrive at the same destination if they don't have the same (overall) vision) Once you agree on the vision then you make the choice or decision. That decision is that no matter what comes the two of you are heading for a mutual goal.
> 
> ...



Brilliant. The core problem is the lack of sacrifice. One doesn't want to give up their comfort zone in order to try something new no matter what, even if it could lead to a happiness that they have been looking for. That has always been their problem with relationships but they don't want to deal with it.


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

Months ago Zong & Mav mentioned patterns. I understand now. They can be spotted within others and ourselves. The problem is that most of us aren't even aware they are there until it is too late to avoid heartbreak. On the bright side, it isn't too late to change the path we are on.


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## sherry in Maine (Nov 22, 2007)

Fowler, is the one you love any different in person, than when pontificating love/relationships on the computer?

In the big wide state of Texas, in real time, I bet there are a ton of cowboys who'd love to be loved by you. . . 

Why contemplate negativity, wasting such time, when you could be practicing the positive side of life, instead of dragging somebody down with negativisms . . . .(no, not you Fowler, I was talking about the other one)

This stuff doesn't get better as time goes on, Fowler. A negative thinker doesn't turn around and become a sunny personality.
That being said, I suspect deep down that he has good stuff inside of himself.
Lots of times, we can not shed certain perspectives, or at least we dont want to get rid of that 'old coat' . . . . it proves us right over and over.


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## momof2 (Mar 28, 2003)

Raven12 said:


> Months ago Zong & Mav mentioned patterns. I understand now. They can be spotted within others and ourselves. The problem is that most of us aren't even aware they are there until it is too late to avoid heartbreak. On the bright side, it isn't too late to change the path we are on.


You understood Mav & Zong???? I'm worried about you now.


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

the biggest difference between me and you is "me" has 2 letters, while "you" has 3. We(2 letters) can all(3 letters) get along.
Now you know everything that I do, plus what you knew to start with. So, you're way ahead.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

sherry in Maine said:


> Fowler, is the one you love any different in person, than when pontificating love/relationships on the computer?
> 
> In the big wide state of Texas, in real time, I bet there are a ton of cowboys who'd love to be loved by you. . .
> 
> ...



Thank you Sherry, I needed someone to verify and put in a differant prespective, what I've already been thinking.


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## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

TNHermit....I have missed your posts something fierce. I'm glad you are posting again for a while.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

sherry in Maine said:


> Fowler, is the one you love any different in person, than when pontificating love/relationships on the computer?
> 
> In the big wide state of Texas, in real time, I bet there are a ton of cowboys who'd love to be loved by you. . .
> 
> ...


I am not that negative. I see the sun but I see the shadows it casts. I am contemplating the shadows. Shadows add depth to a picture, as does light. Some of the best painting in the world are beautiul beause of there depth of light and shadow in relation to the depth of the composition.

I told her I was negative long ago. I consider myself cyclically gloomy with a pinch of cautious pessimism. I do not understand people who are so happy all the time. I am happy but not all the time. I do not walk on a rainbow all day long like some people in this life do.


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## Guest (Sep 30, 2012)

Some people are grown up enough to know that they need to get on with living instead of thinking about it.


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## sherry in Maine (Nov 22, 2007)

We dont walk on a rainbow, CB.

We get on with life. We dont overanalyze & put a negative spin on every mote of dust, every action, every emotion. . . Or, other people's love and affection.

Once before you said you weren't ready for a relationship. 
You should review those remarks.
Contemplating shadows? Why? When does being negative ever work for anyone, or any relationship? Nothing healthy grows in the shadows.

Most important question is, why would you do that to someone else?

Ultimately, I am guessing that everything ends the way you set it up in your mind.

We make our own reality, CB. The part I think you dont understand is that you can change yours, but it's a choice, as someone else explained before.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

why would i do what to someone else? I never diod anything to anyone else. You make it out as though I deceived someone when I was nothing but honest.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

sherry, I spent a lot of time ignoring the shadows and "getting on with life" eventually the shadows got too big to run from. Maybe I am a little negative, so what. One day I will find peace, but until then I have to live my life the way I have to live it.


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## sherry in Maine (Nov 22, 2007)

I guess others can figure that out by now; and understand that it is as much a personality trait as any other one .

You're not a bad person and I didn't say you were deceptive.

Behaving, thinking that way makes others close to you doubt you and themselves.

I guess other people can figure it out.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

I really do not see what was so negative about what I said in this thread. Don't you belive in testing if a boat can hold water before you set off on the water? Romance in general is the same way.


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## Guest (Sep 30, 2012)

It's usually pretty hard to see yourself.


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

momof2 said:


> You understood Mav & Zong???? I'm worried about you now.


Yes, they are very wise.


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## foxfiredidit (Apr 15, 2003)

CB, are you, or do you think you may be gay? If so, don't worry about it, just let go of what constraints family and friends may have on you and be yourself. I don't think that would be a difficult task given the diverse nature of NYC.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

gay, why the heck would I be gay? No, I like women.


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## foxfiredidit (Apr 15, 2003)

LOL, just ribbing you a little there CB. 

What I was going to tell you is if all those shadows keep looming larger and larger in an enigmatic sort of obstruction to getting on with your life, that maybe it was time to run theough one or two of them just to see what's the big deal going on there. A descriptive like "shadow" sounds ominous and a little foreboding. Hard to tell just what you mean by having to run from something. 

One of the best tag lines ever (I think it was fourdeuce) was, "Pain heals, chic's dig scars, glory is forever".
Don't be skeered.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

fox, what I mean by shadows is the unpleasent things in life that some people want to ignore or sweep under the rug.

I am younger then most of the people in ST so some of the stuff I talk about here may seem silly and melodramatic but to a guy who is only 36 and 3/4 they are normal for this stage of my life. I think there is a sort of psychological shadow that crops up during mid life for most people and it leads to the midlife crisis/midlife acceptence. Eventually, people in mid life work this shadow out as the years of midlife pass and the person usually finds a deeper peace and meaning in life. The next shadow to process and learn from comes later in life when the sun is setting on our visit to the earth. That shadow is the shadow of death. If we let that shadow teach us and we learn from that shadow, then we die in peace.


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## Guest (Oct 1, 2012)

There are no shadows. It's you.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

City Bound said:


> fox, what I mean by shadows is the unpleasent things in life that some people want to ignore or sweep under the rug.
> 
> I am younger then most of the people in ST so some of the stuff I talk about here may seem silly and melodramatic but to a guy who is only 36 and 3/4 they are normal for this stage of my life. I think there is a sort of psychological shadow that crops up during mid life for most people and it leads to the midlife crisis/midlife acceptence. Eventually, people in mid life work this shadow out as the years of midlife pass and the person usually finds a deeper peace and meaning in life. The next shadow to process and learn from comes later in life when the sun is setting on our visit to the earth. That shadow is the shadow of death. If we let that shadow teach us and we learn from that shadow, then we die in peace.


Please tell me I'm ugly cause I cant take all this psyco babble. This cant be real.And at least telling me I'm ugly would be a real reason to not like me.


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

cb goodness what a load of crap.i am 46 and never once had a mid life crisis.you just live everyday the best you can and get on with it.not everyone lives to be a old person.....the shadow has nothing to teach..its the darkside....i choose the sunny side.stick a bit in the horses mouth called life and ride it hard and fast and wear its hooves off.


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## JohnnyLee (Feb 13, 2011)

NORMAL people don't ignore them or sweep them under the rug. Normal people deal with them and move on!

THAT is life!


I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself.
*David Herbert Lawrence*


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## Guest (Oct 1, 2012)

Fowler said:


> Please tell me I'm ugly cause I cant take all this psyco babble. This cant be real.And at least telling me I'm ugly would be a real reason to not like me.


Please stop that. Since you posted your picture, everybody knows you are not ugly. One more comment, and I'll show you ugly. You can't handle ugly!! I'm taking a naked picture of myself right now!


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Sorry Zong, my point was for CB to say something real that I can understand, I dont understand shadows, and thinking about dieing before you even lived.


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## foxfiredidit (Apr 15, 2003)

Check these lyrics CB.
....and the tempo especially. Its a good way to approach life, especially since you're young and a single person. 
(in moderation of course, don't go trying to jump the Grand Canyon). 

[YOUTUBE]hIfvwwPSHCI[/YOUTUBE]


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## Guest (Oct 1, 2012)

You don't need to understand insanity. It's for other people.


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## foxfiredidit (Apr 15, 2003)

> I'm taking a naked picture of myself right now!


Yer gonna need to have that Fuji fixed, and that would be okay, but you may warp the frame.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Fowler said:


> Please tell me I'm ugly cause I cant take all this psyco babble. This cant be real.And at least telling me I'm ugly would be a real reason to not like me.


I have no idea what you are talking about. Pm me.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

good song fox.

Elk, you may not o had a midlie crisis, but other have and are. it is not really a crisis, it is just adjusting to the next stage of life and finding peace with it.


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## sherry in Maine (Nov 22, 2007)

sometimes it's just a part of someone's personality, to have shadows around them.
Especially if they embrace their doubts, and hold them close like a blanket . . . .
We like you but all that talk about 'psychological shadow' is just the blanket that you're using to hide behind. 
If you are depressed or frequently sad/negative, perhaps you should seek help.
If you want a regular relationship for the long term, you should lose the 'psycho-shadow' . . . . .


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## Tommyice (Dec 5, 2010)

Two phrases are coming to mind after reading this last page.....

Sunlight kills shadows

and

Suck it up and deal with it. 

Life is full of ----, bad ----, good ----, but ---- none the less. Reflection on life is fine as long as you don't look into that pond so long that you fall into it.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

sherry I am not talking about depression.

I am talking about this:

You are born, your life is dawning.
As the sun rises and you age the shadows cast by the sun are not very large.
When you hit midlife the sun begins its decline and the shadow begin to grow larger.
Eventually you see the sun almost setting in the distance and the shadows of dusk grow around you and you know that sometime soon the sun will sink and night will fall.

When I turned 30 the sun started to set, I started going gray. It was a bit of a crisis for me because for the first time in my life I felt I was getting old. I realized old age was on its way. I worked through the upset emotions of realizing that I was turning a corner and was becoming old. Eventually, I could look at my gray hair and not get upset. I found acceptance and a degree of peace with my transition into a new stage of life.

Acceptance is what it all boils down and then learning to adapt to your new stage. Some people however do not go through the process of accepting the reality of their life change and instead cover their gray and cover their wrinkles with makeup, wear young clothes, or just simply imagine they are still young. I would consider those people running from the shadows rather then going through them.

eventually one day I will be a very old man and I will have to find acceptance with the pros and cons of that stage of life. If l end up chronicly ill or laying in a prolonged death in my death bed then that will be what i will have to work through and learn to accept because those are some of the challanges that the inal years o lie will present.


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## Guest (Oct 1, 2012)

Dang, boy. I got 3 children older than you and i'm not thinking about getting old yet. Strikes me as you just like moaning and groaning a whole lot. You're a regular ray of Unshine.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

City Bound said:


> sherry I am not talking about depression.
> 
> I am talking about this:
> 
> ...


Who in their right mind thinks about this stuff at the age 0f 36? And why would you think about it at all? I know this is going on deaf ears when I say "CB get out and get started on living life" your wasting your youth analizing it to death.


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

glad i got my barn boots on.......


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

theres no such thing as a mid life crisis...because nobody knows the length of their life.

you got a lot to learn....i use to post one of my saying on here a lot...

pull the rip cord and live.....


you need to stop manufacturing crisis in your head when theres none to be had.


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## Guest (Oct 1, 2012)

Believe it or not, there are a whole lot of people who actually *want* to waste away their lives, frittering needlessly over trivialities. I mean, after all, if the boy actually was getting old, would acting like a baby about it change anything??


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## Tommyice (Dec 5, 2010)

City Bound said:


> When I turned 30 the sun started to set, I started going gray.


Buy a box of Just For Men and get on with it.

And CB, reading your posts and your lamenting of mid-life, seriously it sounds a lot like depression. I've seen it in my own family--I know what it look like. And I think you do too.


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## Guest (Oct 1, 2012)

It's not so much the turning gray, its the "sun started to set" at age 30. What a hoot!!


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## coolrunnin (Aug 28, 2010)

I have to agree I'm 52 and the only thing I see is the sun over the yardarm....somewhere...lol


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## sherry in Maine (Nov 22, 2007)

CB what you explained sounds like that story of narcissus . . . 
going grey? Give me a break . . . . .

I have been to countries that policemen could beckon to someone, take them behind a building, and shoot them! 
Adapting to new stages? . . . .
I truly believe that this is part of your personality and that you dont want to change, but want everyone else to feel sorry for you and be dragged down with you.
As a matter of fact you remind me of my teenage daughter. . . . during her drama phase.
I know I am wasting my time by saying anything to you, but why dont you try this?
Go volunteer somewhere on a regular basis. Not for a short while, but a long while. You'll see plenty of others lives and understand how they deal with everyday 'stages'
Stop thinking about yourself.
Spend a few regular hours outside in sunshine.
Resolve to yourself that unless you figure out your addiction to your own navel, that you wont drag anyone else into your ever tightening circle of self absorption. 
Dont become involved, romantically, with anyone else
Again, I know I am wasting my time, and you wont understand what I've told you, nor will you think it applies to you.
It is a part of your personality.
Understand that what happens, happens. We dont need to grieve for our lost hair color, lint in navel, or dog poop on our shoes. . . . 
Cover it up, pick it out and scrape it off.
Live life.
I like you CB, but you need to understand that everyone else is on this earth, too, and they have plenty of real problems, but somehow they keep going.


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## BetsyK in Mich (May 14, 2002)

An old old man in a young man's body. Good grief, you're a healthy 36 year old man. Go do something with the 50 or 60 years you've got left and stop whining about everything that is WRONG with your life. If so much is so bad then the question is how did it get that way and who can fix it, go look in the mirror. It's that good looking guy looking back at you. 

I'm not reading any more of your threads, just to much of a downer for me, I've got places to go, things to do and people to see and many are much older than you and far worst off physically but not a one is concerned about the "shadows in their life". 

Ok, I'll go back in hiding now.


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

BetsyK in Mich said:


> An old old man in a young man's body. Good grief, you're a healthy 36 year old man. Go do something with the 50 or 60 years you've got left and stop whining about everything that is WRONG with your life. If so much is so bad then the question is how did it get that way and who can fix it, go look in the mirror. It's that good looking guy looking back at you.
> 
> I'm not reading any more of your threads, just to much of a downer for me, I've got places to go, things to do and people to see and many are much older than you and far worst off physically but not a one is concerned about the "shadows in their life".
> 
> Ok, I'll go back in hiding now.


oh no you dont.....you keep posting.....we need you more often.


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

When I was teenager, my mom used to tell me that I over-analyzed everything....she said that if a guy said, "Hi!" to me then I would wonder what he meant by the word "Hi". 

I am so glad I outgrew that phase of my life.

CB- take a deep breath, relax and let life happen. Quit trying to make something out of everything.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

the sun does start setting at 30 physically. Have you ever heard of the expression "over the hill"? That is just biology. Some people hit the top of the hill earlier and some hit it later, most people hit it at 30.

Sure, it is not over right away, the other side of the hill can be a slow decline.


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

nobodys old till they been in the ground a few weeks......lol


i just flat refuse to be sad and miserable....sure things hurt and ya cry and snot for a bit.then ya left yaself up....pull ya big boy drawers on or big girl bloomers up and ya carry on forward.

the world is a sandbox.....lets play !!!!!!


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

sherry in Maine said:


> CB what you explained sounds like that story of narcissus . . .
> going grey? Give me a break . . . . .
> 
> I have been to countries that policemen could beckon to someone, take them behind a building, and shoot them!
> ...


You seem very strong in these opinions.

I do not know why you would say that I should not get involved with anyone romantic again, that sounds strange.

I am living my life. What do you expect of me that I am not already doing?


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

City Bound said:


> I really do not see what was so negative about what I said in this thread. Don't you belive in testing if a boat can hold water before you set off on the water? Romance in general is the same way.





City Bound said:


> gay, why the heck would I be gay? No, I like women.





City Bound said:


> fox, what I mean by shadows is the unpleasent things in life that some people want to ignore or sweep under the rug.
> 
> I am younger then most of the people in ST so some of the stuff I talk about here may seem silly and melodramatic but to a guy who is only 36 and 3/4 they are normal for this stage of my life. I think there is a sort of psychological shadow that crops up during mid life for most people and it leads to the midlife crisis/midlife acceptence. Eventually, people in mid life work this shadow out as the years of midlife pass and the person usually finds a deeper peace and meaning in life. The next shadow to process and learn from comes later in life when the sun is setting on our visit to the earth. That shadow is the shadow of death. If we let that shadow teach us and we learn from that shadow, then we die in peace.





City Bound said:


> good song fox.
> 
> Elk, you may not o had a midlie crisis, but other have and are. it is not really a crisis, it is just adjusting to the next stage of life and finding peace with it.





City Bound said:


> sherry I am not talking about depression.
> 
> I am talking about this:
> 
> ...


Read your own ramblings, then you tell me why people might be suggesting your way of thinking could be construed as a little out there.


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## sherry in Maine (Nov 22, 2007)

Strong in my opinions?
I have been reading your posts. . . . 
Your song is the same, over and over.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

out there? What does that mean? 

Is it wrong for a person to muse on an idea wondering where it will lead?

All I said was we all get old, life is short, if you are older your shadow is your younger past, if you do not make peace with the loss of your youth then you chase your shadow. 

sometimes older men come in st and they admit that they do not want a woman their age. They are still chasing the idea of a woman from their youth. Those days are long gone but they are still stuck in them. Using my metaphor, they are chasing their shadow.

to explain what I meant about myself: I am in my mid 30's, my 40's are coming quick. I have to say good bye to the last 30 years o my life, tidy up the details, and then close the chapter and start to consider what I will be writing in my next chapter.


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## Guest (Oct 1, 2012)

CB, is there any possibility that all your gloom and dreariness is right and every single other person is wrong? Nope. I think you just enjoy the attention and humiliation of being wrong al the time.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

sherry in Maine said:


> Strong in my opinions?
> I have been reading your posts. . . .
> Your song is the same, over and over.


Yes, as Zepplin said "the song remains the same". haha

It is not as bad as you imagine it to be.


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## Guest (Oct 1, 2012)

You don't contemplate life as much as complain about it. If you are anything like your posts. 
I think of a quote by Friedrich Schiller: "Mit der Dummheit kÃ¤mpfen GÃ¶tter selbst vergebens."


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## JohnnyLee (Feb 13, 2011)




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## JohnnyLee (Feb 13, 2011)

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
Albert Einstein


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## Guest (Oct 1, 2012)

Whoops, forgot to translate.


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

JohnnyLee said:


>


i never heard of this...like 100 x


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## JohnnyLee (Feb 13, 2011)

zong said:


> Whoops, forgot to translate.


"Against stupidity the gods themselves struggle in vain"
*- Friedrich Schiller*


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Good grief. I went into the army the last time at 38, and was 4th physically in my company, and the oldest by 4yrs to the next, and most of them were in their 20s.


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## momof2 (Mar 28, 2003)

City Bound said:


> *the sun does start setting at 30 physically*. Have you ever heard of the expression "over the hill"? That is just biology. Some people hit the top of the hill earlier and some hit it later, *most people hit it at 30.*
> 
> Sure, it is not over right away, the other side of the hill can be a slow decline.


CB this is simply not true! I just turned 39 and I don't feel much different than I did at 19. Last fall I was coaching sr high girl's on a competitive cheerleading team and I could still do backhand springs with them (it hurt later but that's not the point!). I have noticed that I am more stiff feeling lately but it's not age... it's the fact that I haven't been working out and doing as much physically... I could just moan and groan about it being age but it isn't. You might just need to get more active and stop putting an age on things. Mentally you are making yourself age!!! You are old before your time because you have made yourself that way. Stop contemplating life and start living it... enjoy it!!!!!!!! It only comes around once.

Serious stuff like relationships require SOME contemplation but only a little. You are gonna miss out on so many great opportunities and things that could have been while you sit and think about it and try to figure it out... instead just DO IT!


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## coolrunnin (Aug 28, 2010)

FarmboyBill said:


> Good grief. I went into the army the last time at 38, and was 4th physically in my company, and the oldest by 4yrs to the next, and most of them were in their 20s.


Your talking about a guard unit form the old days before 90, not saying alot.
I tried a guard unit in southern Mo. and my motor sargeant was at least 40 lbs overweight and couldnt do the annual pt test the guard was a joke in those days.


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

City Bound said:


> I have to say good bye to the last 30 years o my life, tidy up the details, and then close the chapter and start to consider what I will be writing in my next chapter.


If you're tired of starting over, stop giving up.


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## foxfiredidit (Apr 15, 2003)

CB gets bored sometimes. I now think that when he is truely bored he just plays on the computer and spins threads with his own yarns which are homespun right here on ST. A Catch 22 circular logic will by nature, preclude any options available to him. Well meaning encouragements or admonishments are easily fended off, and so at the end of the day he is kinda still where he was to begin with. I think its a game he plays.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

foxfiredidit said:


> CB gets bored sometimes. I now think that when he is truely bored he just plays on the computer and spins threads with his own yarns which are homespun right here on ST. A Catch 22 circular logic will by nature, preclude any options available to him. Well meaning encouragements or admonishments are easily fended off, and so at the end of the day he is kinda still where he was to begin with. I think its a game he plays.


It also a game with other peoples hearts.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Fowler said:


> It also a game with other peoples hearts.


yeah right, that is total crap.


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

City Bound said:


> yeah right, that is total crap.


Yes, very true. Playing with someone's heart is total crap.


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## tambo (Mar 28, 2003)

Yes it is a very cruel thing to do to someone.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

yes it is cruel, thank goodness I am not doing it to anyone.


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## Marshloft (Mar 24, 2008)

I'm pushin a hard 60,, and there's parts of me that still act and re-act as if I'm still 17.
Ok,, I was late outta the gate,, but I have an excuse, I was in a boy's ranch.
GH


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