# Dating..yuk!



## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Dont you just hate the awkwardness? The getting to know you stage.

Why cant we just skip all that and go right to the comfortable stage? It's either there or not.

It takes a lot of energy and time just to get to know someone.

The courtship can be fun, but it takes time and sometimes you feel like you just wasted a lot of time putting yourself out there.

Any thoughts about dating?


----------



## Vickie44 (Jul 27, 2010)

I am happy by myself with occasional contact with family and a few friends. I like everything I do and dont want to give anything up so I just stay home


----------



## Groene Pionier (Apr 23, 2009)

What vickie said.. I have been single since march 2005 and never dated since. it is just not for me.


----------



## wildhorse (Oct 22, 2006)

Dateing what's that....spend a lot of time running.......lots of strange people out there...lol


----------



## Darren (May 10, 2002)

I think it's all in the attitude. If you're always on a mission, the results are going to be more disappointing than not. If you don't put a lot of pressure on yourself, maybe just have some fun on a night out, you won't be disappointed as much. 

I've checked out some of the sites and read what people are trying to order up from the menu. I wish them all luck. There's a lot of perfect people looking for their match. Just remember what you're looking for will always be in the last place you look. And sometimes you find things without looking hard. 

[YOUTUBE]cjImFYf2Vzc[/YOUTUBE]


----------



## Vickie44 (Jul 27, 2010)

I always met the best men right after I gave up and got a puppy !


----------



## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

So I take ya'll dont date...LOL

Sorry, but the closet men I've been around or seen is my hay guy and the hay baler guy.

I need some interaction, handing over a check is the most I get close to the opposite sex now I feel like I have to pay for it..LOL


----------



## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

I am dating, I have been for a couple of months. I have been talking to my guy since about June I guess, every day we have been talking and getting to know each other. I met him in K Falls last November and helped him take down the party that I went to at the club. We exchanged numbers around Jan, and started to talk and sorda get to know each other since then. I would call him sometimes, he would text me etc, sorda a hi how are you kinda thing. In June we started talking every day and on the weekends we would talk through the night and into the morning. We met in August to see if we got along in person. We are almost to our two month anniversary which says a lot to me. I threw out my expectations and my list and decided to just go with the flow. We are opposites in a lot of ways and in some ways we are not. He is tattooed and body pierced, I am not. We both have hang ups and issues but decided that we wanted to work through them and we wanted each others hearts. We are not getting serious or talking about marriage or any thing. Still in the getting to know process and taking our time. I plan to move back to my home town in a couple of years and he is now suggesting helping me clear my land and giving me ideas on how to build. Not going to read any thing into that but rather go with the flow. He is native american which speaks to my heart because I was born and raised in native country. He gets me when we hike through the Strong Hold etc and I don't have to try to explain myself. So far it seems to be working out. 


You are right, really getting to know someone is hard work, but so worth it in the end.


----------



## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Darren said:


> I think it's all in the attitude. If you're always on a mission, the results are going to be more disappointing than not. If you don't put a lot of pressure on yourself, maybe just have some fun on a night out, you won't be disappointed as much.
> 
> I've checked out some of the sites and read what people are trying to order up from the menu. I wish them all luck. There's a lot of perfect people looking for their match. Just remember what you're looking for will always be in the last place you look. And sometimes you find things without looking hard.


There's no mission, I havent even been on a date. I'm just thinking about when I use to date, and it sucked.

I dont goto bars and I dont date where I work. I sit at home working, or work. I do hang out in the veggie isle at the grocery store


----------



## wildhorse (Oct 22, 2006)

I'm sticking with a Fwb


----------



## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Here is a picture of my guy, I thought I would share him with ya. He is at fire camp as he is also a wild land fire fighter and the dog is brought to the guys as a therapy dog. According to my guy he found our dog. I didn't know we were looking for a dog, but hey, if it makes him happy that is what counts. Here is my guy.







[/IMG]

Oh and I think he is one dang good looking IDN, the dog is kinda cute as well, LOL.


----------



## Groene Pionier (Apr 23, 2009)

Fowler said:


> So I take ya'll dont date...LOL
> 
> Sorry, but the closet men I've been around or seen is my hay guy and the hay baler guy.
> 
> I need some interaction, handing over a check is the most I get close to the opposite sex now I feel like I have to pay for it..LOL


that's a LOT of interaction! when compared to me:teehee:


----------



## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Groene Pionier said:


> that's a LOT of interaction! when compared to me:teehee:


but it's paid for...LOL I feel so dirty...LOL


----------



## Groene Pionier (Apr 23, 2009)

Fowler said:


> but it's paid for...LOL I feel so dirty...LOL


ahhh that's the trick.. 
the next question would be: who wants to get paid?? Any volunteers?


----------



## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Groene Pionier said:


> ahhh that's the trick..
> the next question would be: who wants to get paid?? Any volunteers?


ROTFLMRO!!!!...something is terribly wrong with me...LOL


----------



## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

Cindilu, they're both awfully cute, and both look way huggable!


----------



## wildhorse (Oct 22, 2006)

Fowler said:


> ROTFLMRO!!!!...something is terribly wrong with me...LOL


Look on the bright side at least you aren't a freak like me..I'm eva so slightly twisted.


----------



## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

wildhorse said:


> Look on the bright side at least you aren't a freak like me..I'm eva so slightly twisted.


Have you ever read any of my post?, chloroform and hankies are my friends...LOL


----------



## bluemoonluck (Oct 28, 2008)

My single friends swear by doing lots and lots of flying..... one of them even has a t-shirt that says 'If it weren't for the TSA I woudn't have a sex life!"

I hear if you act a little off-kilter they give you a FREE pat-down


----------



## Groene Pionier (Apr 23, 2009)

Fowler, what do I do with the cable guy, he came free with the cable offer I got?


----------



## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

He escaped my cellar, along with the others. I need a better lock...LOL


----------



## wildhorse (Oct 22, 2006)

bluemoonluck said:


> My single friends swear by doing lots and lots of flying..... one of them even has a t-shirt that says 'If it weren't for the TSA I woudn't have a sex life!"
> 
> I hear if you act a little off-kilter they give you a FREE pat-down [/QUOTE
> 0oooh that is so not fair I would like to join the mile high club......


----------



## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

nehimama said:


> Cindilu, they're both awfully cute, and both look way huggable!


Oh my goodness yes, he is very huggable. Kinda like a big teddy bear.


----------



## Groene Pionier (Apr 23, 2009)

Fowler said:


> He escaped my cellar, along with the others. I need a better lock...LOL


ahh a lock smith is going to get paid soon. does he has to be local?


----------



## wildhorse (Oct 22, 2006)

Takes up a collection........gets Fowler more duct tape.....


----------



## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

All inquiries call BR549, Zong will screen all my calls, only the most guilible need apply


----------



## Guest (Oct 5, 2012)

My love
Awaits
One more
Taste of
My soul.


----------



## wildhorse (Oct 22, 2006)

Fowler in all honesty it is easier going out with people you already know.


----------



## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

dating is a mess. every so often I find a woman that thaws me out of my emotional hybernation and inspires me to date again.

It is hard to ind people that want to date in a casual easy going kind of way. Many people have an all or nothing mentality when it cOmes to relationships and it make me not want to bother.


----------



## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

First off it's so much freakin better when you go out with people that are already friends--you already know them on a more honest level, not the I'm trying to impress you thing. On the other hand I'm attracted to people who are honest that way. Was fooled once by someone who went after me, was all romantic and such---my gut was bugging me that it wasn't real and sure enough, it was just a game.

Anyways, I do enjoy spending time with awake people, meeting new people. I love FB because I've found lots of my high school buddies and can carry on with them (Cindilu has been enjoying one haha Cyn). I go contra dancing, ride dirt bikes, have a lot of friends in that. 

One thing that has had an interesting effect, while I dont' tell everyone my backhorrorstory, I am straight up front I'm not looking for a long term partner at this time. I need time to float. That said I will enjoy full throttle the pleasure of the company of people I connect with on a deeper level (haha) meaning I am not afraid to become really good friends. Which it has really surprised me how people relax and are authentic and open. Of course this might be because I am drawn to authentic people--any whiff of poser and I'm gone--correlation causation blah blah.

That said if someone comes across the bow that would be a great LTR sure I would jump 

ps when I say friends I mean both male and female. No I'm not bi, just mean I am giving energy all around. something like that.

pps, just trying to say it's been really cool doing this with no expectations or strings, putting all effort into the now and letting it be. I find it's more "real" and whole. kinda the sending out good karma thing, freely without asking anything in return.


----------



## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

And thats eggsactly, (and by the way I just ate a doz of them), why I am so specific in my wants. IF a somebody is interested, then it is because I am Eggsactly what they are wanting and we will fit like a hand in a glove. no GREAT no deals. Just a close fit. If I never find that one. Than Im satisfied liveing my life about the same way id be liveing it if I found the right person.


----------



## Darren (May 10, 2002)

I have to laugh! *Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread:* _Darren, City Bound, FarmboyBill_


----------



## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

yall would be in trouble if they hadnt confiscated my plane in the raid.....dang black suits !.....lol

the govt just cant take a joke anymore....lol


----------



## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

my bra sets off the machine, I have to smirk when they wand my boobs


----------



## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

you just wait fowler....the suits one day will get you for chloroform possession.....lol


maybe we can talk to each other threw the toilet pipe on the 'jailhouse phone system'....roflmro


----------



## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

just how do i get on a plane nowadays with my EDC items...i mean i feel naked without my 2 pocket knives and my leg flashlight.


----------



## Groene Pionier (Apr 23, 2009)

elkhound said:


> just how do i get on a plane nowadays with my EDC items...i mean i feel naked without my 2 pocket knives and my leg flashlight.


I am confused, it was me who missed the bus, why would you take the plane naked with 2 pocket knives nd leg flashlight? :whistlin:
it would explain the beard:goodjob:


----------



## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

Groene Pionier said:


> I am confused, it was me who missed the bus, why would you take the plane naked with 2 pocket knives nd leg flashlight? :whistlin:
> it would explain the beard:goodjob:



you foreigners dont understand nothing......you get naked after the plane lands.....lol....the knives are for cutting my bib straps free.....roflmro


no wonder the bus dont stop on your corner.....lol


----------



## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

p.s.the flashlight is for getting someone to say.....AHHHHHHH.....while playing doctor....lol


i am awful sometimes...lol


----------



## wildhorse (Oct 22, 2006)

wyld thang said:


> my bra sets off the machine, I have to smirk when they wand my boobs


Babydoll are you sure its your bra?...just saying because I set off metal detectors off at the court house....grin


----------



## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

wildhorse said:


> Babydoll are you sure its your bra?...just saying because I set off metal detectors off at the court house....grin


wanna go to the movies this weekend.........:teehee:


----------



## wildhorse (Oct 22, 2006)

elkhound said:


> wanna go to the movies this weekend.........:teehee:


Ummm was hopeing to be in the movies....sigh...what's a girl to do...


----------



## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

wildhorse said:


> Ummm was hopeing to be in the movies....sigh...what's a girl to do...


i have 2 cameras......roflmro.....i know i can be a good director producer.


----------



## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

a woman called wildhorse


western....she becomes leader of her tribe and saves them from starvation.


----------



## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

What's a date? Sounds like a foreign word to me....


----------



## Prismseed (Sep 14, 2009)

I'm looking forward to getting into dating to a large degree. But at the same time I wonder am I pushing to hard, am I not trying hard enough?


----------



## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Terri in WV said:


> What's a date? Sounds like a foreign word to me....


terri, you are one o the sweetest people in ST. I would think the local guys would be into you.


----------



## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

Awww City, how sweet!:kiss: I moved myself to an area with a very low population and a lot of Amish. Not much happening around here and no place to go for a local date.


----------



## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

amish? forget it, you will have no luck getting a date with an amish guy. haha

the amish guys without beards are single.

seriously though, best of wishes in your quest.


----------



## momof2 (Mar 28, 2003)

Dating is difficult, at best, when you have younger children... or teenagers!


----------



## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Darren said:


> I have to laugh! *Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread:* _Darren, City Bound, FarmboyBill_


So Darren what do you know about locks?...LOL


----------



## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

Yep, City, I'm completely SOL. No chance with Amish and the ones with beards are untouchable. 

Who says I'm questing right now?


----------



## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

isn't everyone one on earth questing for love?


----------



## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

City Bound said:


> isn't everyone one on earth questing for love?


nope....some are hardcore users of others!


its a game to them and all they want is to get laid,cut a notch on the bed post and roll on to the next one.they dont even have the ability to be a friend.it gets them high i think.


i cut up and carry on a good bit.but i want my best friend,lover and wife rolled into one.that way when she rocks my world and piles me up in the corner i know she will cover me up while she walks around the house laughing at me while i nap and recover.a person that knows i got her back till the end and her mine.i know i am pathetic....my hearts connected to my......brain...lol.....:teehee:gre::bash:


----------



## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

elkhound said:


> nope....some are hardcore users of others!
> 
> 
> its a game to them and all they want is to get laid,cut a notch on the bed post and roll on to the next one.they dont even have the ability to be a friend.it gets them high i think.
> ...


Love it, that is exactly what I want, now how cool is that. Making sure ya got the other persons back is the best part about being in a relationship. It is just like the quote with the queen watching over her kings back. Yep, I like it.


----------



## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

City Bound said:


> isn't everyone one on earth questing for love?


I think a lot have quested, conquered, and cured themselves of that. Or say they have.

Then there's the hopeless romantics.


----------



## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

NOT everybody is questing for love

Hopeless romantics, here we go again


----------



## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

elkhound said:


> nope....some are hardcore users of others!
> 
> 
> its a game to them and all they want is to get laid,cut a notch on the bed post and roll on to the next one.they dont even have the ability to be a friend.it gets them high i think.
> ...


So when is hibernation? I got cozy cellar with possible new locks...LOL


----------



## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

FarmboyBill said:


> NOT everybody is questing for love
> 
> Hopeless romantics, here we go again


And what is wrong with being a hopeless romantic?


----------



## Guest (Oct 5, 2012)

Remember when you were young?
And shone like the sun?
Now there's a look in your eye
Like black holes in the sky.
Shine on you crazy diamond


----------



## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

Fowler said:


> Dont you just hate the awkwardness? The getting to know you stage.
> 
> Why cant we just skip all that and go right to the comfortable stage? It's either there or not.


I don't think I have ever 1) Had a friendship with anyone that, at any stage, made me feel awkward and in the same vein 2) Never tried to have a relationship with anyone that made me feel awkward.

Am I supposed to? That makes me feel awkward actually.

Maybe it's different kinds of awkward. I have felt a little off or awkward with people I really like but it was a different kind...usually my awkwardness comes from them feeling awkward or actually because they are being dishonest with me and/or themselves...it's like my body can sense it......does any of this make sense? LOL


----------



## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

Fowler said:


> And what is wrong with being a hopeless romantic?



nothing .........nothing at all wrong with it.


----------



## doodlemom (Apr 4, 2006)

Awww new love is awkward because each person cares about how the other thinks, feels and perceives. They look longer and harder in the mirror and evolve to try and live up to the others expectations. Start to share each others interests and grow together getting to know one another. When I start checking out my own azz I'll know I'm in love lol.


----------



## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

doodlemom said:


> When I start checking out my own azz I'll know I'm in love lol.


OH....shoot.....that means.....oh shoot.....:teehee:

But in my defense...it really did look good in these slacks today.  I say that from an unbiased perspective, obviously LMAO. But it IS the first time I noticed it in......ten years maybe LOL I don't want to be in love though...come up with something else please.


----------



## jandersen (Jul 11, 2011)

I personally enjoy the getting to know you stage. The passion is like a drug and always wanting to be around eachother. I also really enjoy when things get cofortable and you really know the one your with.i say that even though its been proven that even after years you truly never know someone unless they want you to. I can't seem to hold on to a lady past 3 years but thats well past the dating stage i love the dating stage.


----------



## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

WhyNot said:


> I don't think I have ever 1) Had a friendship with anyone that, at any stage, made me feel awkward and in the same vein 2) Never tried to have a relationship with anyone that made me feel awkward.
> 
> Am I supposed to? That makes me feel awkward actually.
> 
> Maybe it's different kinds of awkward. I have felt a little off or awkward with people I really like but it was a different kind...usually my awkwardness comes from them feeling awkward or actually because they are being dishonest with me and/or themselves...it's like my body can sense it......does any of this make sense? LOL


No you make no sense at all, I dont have guy friends that I hang out with. And there is awkwardness when meeting someone new, you talk and talk and joke.....alot...LOL


----------



## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

i want the good stuff....day to day steady reliable living and lovin.


----------



## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Terri in WV said:


> I think a lot have quested, conquered, and cured themselves of that. Or say they have.
> 
> Then there's the hopeless romantics.


I think I would rather be a hopeless romantic then the alternative.

Well, maybe I am nieve and enjoy my rose colored glasses but I eel everyone is looking or love, even i the hunger or it has been pushed way back into the back o their minds or buried over with other things.


----------



## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

Must be just me. I can hang out with men and not feel awkward. Too, I'm sure it's just me when I say I feel like I, even with all the brutal stuff that has happened in my life, that I really have lived a romantic life, it's just unfortunate that no man has had enough oomph to live that life with me and it's not looking good either. It is what it is. Homesteading is on hold and that whole romance thing is on hold because I honestly don't want homestead without a partner....so...onwards, upwards...whateverwards.


----------



## MinerJohn (Jul 2, 2007)

I'm newly single at 44 (as soon as it's final) and really have no clue about how any of it works anymore. I suppose if I met a woman who enjoyed the country, gardening, rock hounding, gold mining, basically life away from the fast lane I would probably try dating again. Until then, I think I'll enjoy doing what I want when I want. I certainly enjoy the company of a woman. Hopefully I wont get so used to "doing what I want" that it becomes difficult to compromise


----------



## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

I have always had fun dating...for the most part it is exciting. Of course I have met my share of weirdo guys, but in the end it is quite entertaining to get to know someone.


----------



## Groene Pionier (Apr 23, 2009)

I'm 43 but 44 in a couple of weeks. tambo knows my wish for a present...
I'm more comfortable with men then women. most of the time i have no idea what to talk about with woman. i don't shop i don't like to.show off whatever ( new bought bags, school thing of mychildren etc etc). 
that said: the men on this forum are way out of my league, mile wise that is. but i like them way older then you are.


----------



## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

Groene Pionier said:


> but i like them way older then you are.


There is definitely something about older men, huh??? I have always preferred men that have a few years on me. :goodjob:


----------



## Groene Pionier (Apr 23, 2009)

shanzone2001 said:


> There is definitely something about older men, huh??? I have always preferred men that have a few years on me. :goodjob:


Yupyupyup and i ended up with a husband a couple of years younger....that didn't last long!


----------



## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

:donut:

For me, I don't find anything awkward at all about the "getting to know you" part ... I LOVE to get to know people ... male AND/OR female.

I find dating a fascinating adventure ... a total blast ... but then, I also have fun going to the grocery store, or library, or park, or wherever. 

:donut:


----------



## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

:donut:

I like men. Period. 

Real men, that is.

:donut:


----------



## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

dating can be expensive and confusing.


----------



## Prismseed (Sep 14, 2009)

> Women can be expensive and confusing.


Fixed that for ya,

:lookout: I still love em though.

Me I am a cheap date (in the drink aspect aswell as the funds department)
Maybe a snack and a round of drinks at the bar but the public scene isn't my thing.

Lunch and a walk around tractor supply.
A walk in the park (a real one not those urban imitations)
Livestock at the local fair.


----------



## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

I dont like going out to eat or a movie, I'd prefer to meet for coffee and talk. Then if there's an interest, hanging out with each other at a farmers market, and then if there's a third date I like hanging out at the house cooking us supper or watching movies on the couch.


----------



## Guest (Oct 6, 2012)

I also dislike going out to eat. I've done some massive cleanups in restaurant kitchens to get them by a health inspection. Some truly disturbing stuff in many restaurant kitchens. Maybe not so bad if you can see into the kitchen. Also, I dislike watching movies or TV. All that stuff takes away from getting to know somebody, it's just noise and distraction. 
Normally I talk to someone enough where they're comfortable around me, get them to come down here, and cook for them, and show them around. By the time I get through explaining the variety of fruit I grow, along with the vegetables, show the greenhouse, and explain my thousand jars of canned stuff, she's either OK or wanting to go home. Then I cook something, sometimes it's just biscuits, and we try a variety of preserves. Sometimes I really go whole hog and make a fancy meal. We can talk the whole time. Afterwards, if she's so inclined, I get out some of my fancy homemade wine, but if anybody is going to have more than a glass or 2, I guess they're not figuring on driving home. In that case, I sit real close to them on the couch. If that's OK with them.


----------



## Shygal (May 26, 2003)

I like the walk around tractor supply idea lol and livestock at the local fair. The kids always whine when I want to spend time looking at the animals

Or maybe a walk around a big outdoor flea market, that would be a fun date to me. 
Or going to a living history museum type thing like Old Sturbridge Village.
Fishing, fishing would be a fun date to me as well.

Im not a girly girl, don't want to go dancing or to a bar or shopping for clothes or wherever a typical date goes. 

Never been in a bar, oh yeah I did, once in about 1996 lol


----------



## Ardie/WI (May 10, 2002)

I think that dating should be just plain fun. Fun without any expectations of anything but getting to know the other person. Fun without wondering what they think of you. Carefree, silly and lots of laughs.


----------



## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

Ardie/WI said:


> I think that dating should be just plain fun. Fun without any expectations of anything but getting to know the other person. Fun without wondering what they think of you. Carefree, silly and lots of laughs.


That, right there ! That's the ticket, Ardie!


----------



## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

elkhound said:


> i want the good stuff....day to day steady reliable living and lovin.


We can always depend on our Elkie to git right down to the crux of the matter! Love the way you think & express yourself, Elkie!


----------



## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

My first actually date with my guy was spent hiking the entire day around the Strong Hold and other places of interest at The Lava Beds in Cali. Lava Beds National Monument - Lava Beds National Monument

My father was raised there and as a child we spent many weeks and weekends there as well because we had a little cabin close to the Monument. I have lived there and visited many times but in my hike with my guy I went into places I hadn't hiked before so it was really cool learning new stuff. That is always a good first date or a date just getting to spend time getting to really know someone. Hard to do that in a restaurant or at the movies. My guy is Modoc Indian and was born in the same hospital that I was born in, just a couple of years younger then me. So I am also doing something that is not a normal for me. I am dating a younger man.


----------



## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

i like lava flows...especially when i looked at my compass and the needle is swinging like a clock.....lol.....theres a place at my old home had 25ft tall pines growing and flat. it was easy to get turned around and the compass wouldnt half work......lol


----------



## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Elk, I love Lava Flows and hiking and discovering new caves. I hiked into look out tower areas, went back to where we had our cabin. Wow that had changed, a bit hard to see for me as I don't like change very much. They have turned it into a resort of sorts, when I was there as a child 12 people lived there. We liked it that way. Here is a link to the little tiny town of Tionesta where my father lived and we also had a cabin, my family owned the store there as well. 

Lava Beds National Monument - Lava Beds National Monument

When I was in the process of thinking about leaving the kids dad I looked into living in one of the cabins. I should have done it then instead of going back to the guy.


----------



## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

elkhound said:


> its a game to them and all they want is to get laid,cut a notch on the bed post and roll on to the next one


...you say that like it's a bad thing!!!!! ound:ound:ound:


----------



## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

dating sites can be frustrating. conversations start and they are going good, things seem to be going somewhere, then the e-mails just stop coming.


----------



## foaly (Jan 14, 2008)

City Bound said:


> dating can be expensive and confusing.


Well, CB, one way around that is to have a secret crush on ST like I do. Doesn't cost him a thing and he has no clue I think he is dreamy.


----------



## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

that is one way to have a low cost romance foaly.


----------



## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Third rate romance, Low rate rondivoux


----------



## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

who? ME? lol


----------



## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

There seems to be a lot of singles in the Upper Midwest/Rockies. Hmmmm...Global Warming? Nuclear Silos? Migrating Canada Geese? What could be the cause of this?


----------



## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

foaly said:


> Well, CB, one way around that is to have a secret crush on ST like I do. Doesn't cost him a thing and he has no clue I think he is dreamy.


:donut:

Foaly, you really should share your secret with your crush.

:donut:


----------



## jandersen (Jul 11, 2011)

I don't have a problem getting to know someone it the getting a chance to get to know them. A while back i met a girl who had found my dog and i happened to drive by them riding thier horses and eli was with them so i got him back. Well i thought she was cute but since i already got mg dog back i really had no reason to stop by her house. Well yesterday i ran into her and her mother at the store and her mother mentioned they were making cider today so i took them a bucket of apples. I gave them to her dad and her mother envited me in for coffee which i accepted even though i had just bought some.sure enough she was in the kitchen making coffee when i got inside, but her aunt, uncle and brother were in there too. So needless to say i couldn't ask her out i did find out that she's 25 and single though.


----------



## jandersen (Jul 11, 2011)

So now i have to find another reason to stop by and not seem like a creep. I did catch her checking me out at the store and she initiated ghe conversation so i think its worth a shot.


----------



## foaly (Jan 14, 2008)

glazed said:


> :donut:
> 
> Foaly, you really should share your secret with your crush.
> 
> :donut:



That's a big nokie-dokie, little round pastry :donut:

Men don't want women with childen. Besides, I don't really like the potential of getting hurt yet again. I know......Call me crazy! I'll just keep it like it is.


----------



## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

I had a 7.5 hour date yesterday with my sister, brother in law and nephew. We went to a Mongolian grill and sat there three or four hours talking and generally stinking up the place. We even had people moving over closer to try to get in on the conversations LOL and sang happy birthday to strangers (and it was really their birthdays even). Then we went to the cinema and watched Loopers. *sigh* Bruce Willis *sigh* lmao. If you like sci-fi you should see this movie. If you like to think and discuss plots and theories then you should go to a lounge after and have a cocktail and discuss.

It's really nice when your kids are older and can drive you home after a cocktail LMAO. Wow. That sounds really bad. No...no one was drunk, we just don't take no chances when it comes to that.

Anyway couple of other people were checking out my butt so I guess my biased opinion might be pretty close to reality


----------



## Malamute (Sep 15, 2011)

jandersen said:


> .... but her aunt, uncle and brother were in there too. So needless to say i couldn't ask her out i did find out that she's 25 and single though.



So why couldn't you ask her out? I'll bet nobody would beat you up for asking.


"__________, can I call you some time?"




jandersen said:


> So now i have to find another reason to stop by and not seem like a creep. I did catch her checking me out at the store and she initiated ghe conversation so i think its worth a shot.



See above.


----------



## Ardie/WI (May 10, 2002)

jandersen said:


> So now i have to find another reason to stop by and not seem like a creep. I did catch her checking me out at the store and she initiated ghe conversation so i think its worth a shot.


Don't think about it too hard. Just let it come naturally.


----------



## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

I went on a double date once with my best biker chica, a 25 year old bus mechanic and God. I'm not sure who was with who. We kinda switched around. Best "date" ever. And God was the married one haha. 

(*seriously* tho the four of us are all good friends and we had a blast. dating is fun when it's not all mucked up with trying to find a suitable life partner--that's what friends are for.)


----------



## momof2 (Mar 28, 2003)

I don't think it's totally true that men don't want women with kids. At this age if they found a woman who hadn't been married (which most likely means kids) they probably should wonder why. Kids are just part of the package... we just need to make sure our package is a good and fun thing... not a drama filled thing. Kids add a lot of work and stress (especially when the "other parent" is involved still) but that doesn't have to be a totally bad thing... it can be instant family.  Oh boy do I have a family for some guy!!!!


----------



## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Its not, but seldom that men dont like families coming into a relationship/marriage, Its the way the kids have been pampered and ran over their mothers that turns men off. Some moms wouldnt let another man, OR any man deal with unruly kids. What guy would want to take a chance on entering such a deal as that.


----------



## jandersen (Jul 11, 2011)

I try to let things just happen but in a small town there just doesn't seem to be a social outlet to. For instance I've only seen this young woman once besides getting my dog back on the side of the road. in the 7months I've lived here. As far as asking her in front of her whole family that could embarass some people, not me i could handle a public rejection.( wouldn't be the first one) her family is real nice folks! I'm just a bit more private than that i guess.


----------



## Malamute (Sep 15, 2011)

Well, rather than talk to her in front of her whole family, you can just say "can I talk to you for a minute?" indicating outside.


There may never be "just the right time" to talk to her, you have to make it. I'd guess the sooner you do it, the more she'll apreciate it. You don't need a "reason" to go over there other than to talk to her if you like her.


----------



## jandersen (Jul 11, 2011)

Yeah your right i may have to man up. I've always been able to atleast kind of get to know someone before asking them out. This is virgin territory for me.


----------



## jandersen (Jul 11, 2011)

Did i mention she's really cute? Cute girls are my weakness.


----------



## foaly (Jan 14, 2008)

momof2 said:


> I don't think it's totally true that men don't want women with kids. At this age if they found a woman who hadn't been married (which most likely means kids) they probably should wonder why. Kids are just part of the package... we just need to make sure our package is a good and fun thing... not a drama filled thing. Kids add a lot of work and stress (especially when the "other parent" is involved still) but that doesn't have to be a totally bad thing... it can be instant family.  Oh boy do I have a family for some guy!!!!





FarmboyBill said:


> Its not, but seldom that men dont like families coming into a relationship/marriage, Its the way the kids have been pampered and ran over their mothers that turns men off. Some moms wouldnt let another man, OR any man deal with unruly kids. What guy would want to take a chance on entering such a deal as that.


Perhaps I should have clarified that this has been my personal experience and I stand corrected in my generalization. I suppose there may be men out there who are good and kind and would consider taking on an instant family. Thanks for the input.


----------



## rkintn (Dec 12, 2002)

FarmboyBill said:


> Its not, but seldom that men dont like families coming into a relationship/marriage, Its the way the kids have been pampered and ran over their mothers that turns men off. Some moms wouldnt let another man, OR any man deal with unruly kids. What guy would want to take a chance on entering such a deal as that.


Actually, FBB, you aren't too close from the truth. I have found that dating and trying to have a relationship, with kids still at home, next to impossible. I am not going to jeopardize the relationship I have with my kids for a man. I have good kids who are respectful of me and we have our ways and our own dynamic going. I think it is pretty much impossible to find someone would would be able to fit in with us without too much drama. For example, there is a guy I am interested in and I talk to on occasion, but he has advanced some unsolicited opinions on child rearing (he was a single dad, but his kids are grown) that I don't agree with and that has pretty much put a stumbling block on any further interest I might have. 

I'll admit I have my issues and my "walls" but my kids are what come first in my life. I make no apologies for it and I can live with my decision because it has been my experience that men come and go, but my children will be in my life forever.


----------



## momof2 (Mar 28, 2003)

Foaly... I hear women say that all of the time... it's not just you!!! I guess the way I see that is that if he is a MAN then the kids won't be an issue... someone wanting a good time with no future might see the kids as a hinderance to his fun.

I think Bill is onto something too... I know it would be hard for me to sit back and watch someone discipline my sweet little *perfect* boys.  I know they need it but that doesn't make it easy to take. Moms are naturally overprotectors and I know *I* baby my little guys too much.... they need a man more than I care to admit. They may not even like the "outsider" correcting them but they need it and I have to step back and allow it or else I don't need to be in a relationship with a man.

rkintn... I struggle with that too. In MY situation I have to ask myself if my ways really are so right that I can't let anyone else help out. I would never just "date" someone and let them discipline my kids!!!!! If I am ever going to have anything real and lasting then I know that I will have to allow that... I want a man to actually LIKE my kids not just tolerate them. If he can't mold them somewhat to his liking then I shouldn't have him around. I like "our" way and like you said we have our own ways and dynamic going that works pretty great for us... I don't want to deprive them of a step dad though because I can't bend and compromise on discipline and kid stuff. If I like the guy enough then I already think he's a great dad and could handle the task. It's no doubt that blended families take work and compromise but I _think _it would be worth the work.


----------



## SilverFlame819 (Aug 24, 2010)

wyld thang said:


> First off it's so much freakin better when you go out with people that are already friends--you already know them on a more honest level, not the I'm trying to impress you thing. On the other hand I'm attracted to people who are honest that way. Was fooled once by someone who went after me, was all romantic and such---my gut was bugging me that it wasn't real and sure enough, it was just a game.


This. Every single word of it. Never again. I'll stick with going out with people who are already friends, or being single the rest of my days. I like being single just fine anyway.


----------



## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

jandersen said:


> Yeah your right i may have to man up. I've always been able to atleast kind of get to know someone before asking them out. This is virgin territory for me.


Don't make it complicated, man. You know some things about her already. Find something that you wouldn't mind going to that she may be interested in attending. Rodeo,fair, some exhibit somwhere that has something in it that seems she may be interested in. This way you can approach whether or not her family is around or hears...and it can be like, "Hey I was just driving by and realized that next saturday I'm going to the whatever show and thought maybe you, since you seemed fond of *insert something related here* might want to go.

Whether or not she sees it as a "date" or even if it turns out to be a "date" it is still approached as two people going to do something interactive where there is no pressure to "date".


----------



## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

kids--that is hard. I was with someone who had a 16 year old daughter, the daughter and I got really close, still are good friends. I think that was the hardest part of breaking up, was losing being with her. I have another friend who is 16, she almost was my step sister--she doesn't let herself get close to the people her mother dates/marries because they "always go away" and it hurts to much to lose them. That breaks my heart.

I think perhaps with more people than not they either avoid kids or keep their distance because of this. I think it's probably a good idea to keep the kids out of the picture until you're reasonably sure this will be an ongoing thing, or you can exist forever as friends. Though I know the pull to know is strong.

Random thought...back in the pioneer days people blended families all the time. Requirements for a mate were pretty much opposite sex, hard worker and (hopefully) pleasant company. And good teeth ha.


----------



## jandersen (Jul 11, 2011)

Oh i know its not compicated but i wish there was something going on to do just that. Unfortunatly with winter on the way i think my only option is to see if she maybe wants t take a walk or make a fire i like both anyway. Its much harder in the country than it was in the city. There was always something to go do there. New developmet after asking my pastor about her family. They are jehovahs witnesses and i am christian so thats definitly a stumbling block. Don't take that the wrong way I'm not judging anyonechoice of beliefs just they ussually don't mix. Paster says be patient you'll meet a girl i say there has to be girls to meet. This place is in short supply. I'm going to talk to her anyway i can always use a friend if nothing else.


----------



## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

momof2 said:


> I don't think it's totally true that men don't want women with kids. At this age if they found a woman who hadn't been married (which most likely means kids) they probably should wonder why. Kids are just part of the package... we just need to make sure our package is a good and fun thing... not a drama filled thing. Kids add a lot of work and stress (especially when the "other parent" is involved still) but that doesn't have to be a totally bad thing... it can be instant family.  Oh boy do I have a family for some guy!!!!


I wanted a woman with a kid once. I got along good with the kids also. The kid was seven and I treated him well. 

Even though we never ought and we enjoyed each other's companionship, me and this woman were just not a good match so we broke up. Actually, her and I agreed to stay together longer because our relationship was helping her son calm down and get better grades in school.

don't give up.


----------



## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

FarmboyBill said:


> Its not, but seldom that men dont like families coming into a relationship/marriage, Its the way the kids have been pampered and ran over their mothers that turns men off. Some moms wouldnt let another man, OR any man deal with unruly kids. What guy would want to take a chance on entering such a deal as that.


It depends on the woman bill. Some women would love to let a man take over and get the kids in line and they would love a break from the constant stress.


----------



## jandersen (Jul 11, 2011)

I'm not afraid of a woman with children i do insist on waiting a while to meet the child.


----------



## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

the only way getting involved with someone with kids would work is if all parties are willing to welcome each other into their hearts and lives. if anyone is alienated or living under the same roof in a compartmentalized fashioned it will not work. If it is going to be a family it has to love like a family.

Personally, the only things I would worry about is raising them as my children, loving them, and then being rejected later in life because I was not their real dad. That would hurt. Then there is the expenses. Going from being single to having to scrounge up money for a family of four over night could be a big shock.


----------



## rkintn (Dec 12, 2002)

City Bound said:


> It depends on the woman bill. Some women would love to let a man take over and get the kids in line and they would love a break from the constant stress.


Maybe I just lead a sheltered life, but I have never met a woman who thinks this way. That just seems like a sad way to live a life. Waiting for someone else to make it all better. Plus, it gets my dander up thinking some man may think he has to "get the kids in line". Uh..no. I guess that's why I am still single.


----------



## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

I agree with you cb that there ARE a few who want someone to help manage their children,. create a proper father figure, help be a provider, and a guider in life, someone a boy can talk to with things he thinks he cant talk to his mom about, OR a daughter who wants a protector like a dad so she can be a daddies girl.

BUT, I think that most men are afraid to get too near to people like that for fear that, either they will be drawn into a relationship out of their own needs to be satisfied, and later hate the person AND her kids, and hate themselves for being so weak and gullible.
OR they might find that they really like the kids, but cant stand their mom., OR as origionally said on my earlier post, Theyll enjoy being with the woman, but cant either stand the way she raises her children, OR just cant stand the attitudes of the kids.

Then, I imagine there are young men/boys who have had the experience, and have come to realize they arent real men, and being with someone with kids reenforces that. Some may realize through haveing a bad experience that they arent, and dont make, nor are ready to be, OR WANT TO BE, a dad. To their own children, and especially, to someone elses.

BUT THEN, whaddia I know


----------



## momof2 (Mar 28, 2003)

No mom should pawn her kids off on a man to raise and "take a break"... a man should run from that. I raise my kids. I am willing to make compromises on HOW I raise my kids (to a small extent). I am willing to listen to another persons ideas and realize they see problem areas that I don't see. I am willing to allow another person (possibly) to parent them also... according to their ideas. If I am not willing to do these things then I feel like I should stay out of any relationship where my kids are involved.

This relationship stuff with kids can be tough. My belief (and what do I know cause I've never done it) is that a mom should raise her kids to be likeable people that are willing to allow themselves to be invested into by someone other than just mom. My kids KNOW, beyond any doubt, that if I allow someone in their life it will be for their good... even if it doesn't feel that way at the moment. I don't take that lightly.


----------



## rkintn (Dec 12, 2002)

City Bound said:


> the only way getting involved with someone with kids would work is if all parties are willing to welcome each other into their hearts and lives. if anyone is alienated or living under the same roof in a compartmentalized fashioned it will not work. If it is going to be a family it has to love like a family.
> 
> Personally, the only things I would worry about is raising them as my children, loving them, and then being rejected later in life because I was not their real dad. That would hurt. Then there is the expenses. Going from being single to having to scrounge up money for a family of four over night could be a big shock.



IME blended families are much easier to do when the children are young. The kids I still have at home are old enough that it is just easier for me to wait until they are of age to really pursue dating. Not to mention, I just don't have the time (or energy) to really have a significant other in my life right now. I can't be the only single parent that feels this way.


----------



## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

rkintn said:


> IME blended families are much easier to do when the children are young. The kids I still have at home are old enough that it is just easier for me to wait until they are of age to really pursue dating. Not to mention, I just don't have the time (or energy) to really have a significant other in my life right now. I can't be the only single parent that feels this way.


What about just casual dating as a social outlet? Just, a coffee and a chat now and then, or a movie, without getting serious.

That thought crossed my mind. It is easier if the kids are young because teenagers have a lot of attitude. I people really feel a strong love they can work through things and find sollutions.


----------



## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

I love kids, I would worry about becoming more attached to them, than Mom


----------



## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

rkintn said:


> Maybe I just lead a sheltered life, but I have never met a woman who thinks this way. That just seems like a sad way to live a life. Waiting for someone else to make it all better. Plus, it gets my dander up thinking some man may think he has to "get the kids in line". Uh..no. I guess that's why I am still single.


some people just want some help. If the kids are good and the lady has them in order then all is well, the man justs follows the ladies lead with the kids, but if the kid or kids are out of control then a little help could be welcomed if offered in a respectul manor.

I sat back and watched the woman I was dating struggling with her son because it was none of my business but at some point she was totally overwhelmed and exhausted with the kid so I asked her if she would like me to help her. She said yes and she was glad for the offer. 

The kid had ADHD and was out of control. We worked together to get him calmed down without ADHD drugs. We worked on other issues he had. Eventually, he was doing well and he actually suprised us because he started getting the highest math grades in the school and was accepted onto the competative math team for his school district. Half a year before that we could not even get him to do his home work.


----------



## rkintn (Dec 12, 2002)

I don't really think there is such a thing as casual dating. We humans have a tendency to get attached pretty quickly. Besides, dating of any kind takes a lot of time and energy and mine is already spoken for.


----------



## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

momof2 said:


> No mom should pawn her kids off on a man to raise and "take a break"...


Dang it! gre:
I was hoping I could find some naÃ¯ve guy to dump my monsters off on for a while, maybe until they are off to college!


----------



## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

I would hope that if a man were to come into my life and we were to have a permanent relationship, that he'd want to step into the father role. I wouldn't want him to take a backseat in the raising of my kids, because if he did, then we wouldn't truly be partners and he might come to resent not being able to have input. Also, if I didn't trust that he'd do right by my kids, I sure as the heck wouldn't marry him!

I don't have to worry about an ex intruding though and my kids would dearly welcome another dad into their lives. I often hear, "When are you going to get us another dad?"


----------

