# I'm getting divorced



## swamp man (Dec 25, 2005)

....from Mississippi.
Stuff ain't working out for me here, the cops give me a hassle, I'm tired of being hot all the time and worrying about having another heat stroke, I've been done dirty and am losing my land anyway, and it's just time to liquidate, make a change, and start over. I have approximately three weeks to get some yonder.
I have replaced the head gasket on my truck (which was a nightmare), but still need to rebuild the front end and hopefully replace the sending unit. Gotta' by tires, too.
I'm selling the mobile home and almost everything in it, my boat, and a few other things.I am planning to roll out of here with my old truck, my dog, my guns, my tools, and no more than what I absolutely need. It'll be a sneeze. It's just a little Mazda truck, and the toolbox takes up almost a third of the bed, so I ain't got much room. I have way too much in the kitchen 'cuz stuff just accumulates up in hurr, so I'm reducing that to a glorified mess kit, and I might be able to take my microwave and my wee counter-top oven. I hope I can fit in my cast iron stuff.
I would appreciate somewhere to sleep and a comfortable place to sit, but taking my futon is a stretch.
Southeast Iowa is looking like the destination. I spent the better part of january and febuary there with a lady I'm very fond of, and she's in the process of buying a quadraplex with a vacancy. My dog and I will, most likely, live there for a while.


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

good luck on your next adventure of life.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Sounds like, when you bounce, you know how to land well. Good luck Bud.


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## billooo2 (Nov 23, 2004)

Sorry to hear about the circumstances.

I hope the next chapter goes well for you!!!


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

I admire your ability to just 'do it'.
Praying IA is a blessing!!


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

A new adventure starts. Best of luck! Kentucky's out of the way or I could offer you a pit stop here.


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## COSunflower (Dec 4, 2006)

Good Luck Swampman!!! Like everyone says, this is a NEW chapter in your life and can be a new beginning to a BETTER life also. Choose wisely and be brave. I know that you have it in you.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

"Oh, freedom's just another word for nothing left to loose...".  I think you're going to like it. Have fun.
[YOUTUBE]WXV_QjenbDw[/YOUTUBE]
May you find green pastures. Life is beautiful.


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## sherry in Maine (Nov 22, 2007)

have fun!


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## BetsyK in Mich (May 14, 2002)

Sorry to hear you're going through this change, glad to hear you've got a plan, best of luck on your journey. Maybe you could stop by Oklahoma and straighten out ole FBB will ya, I'm worried about him as many here are. Good luck!


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## Ramblin Wreck (Jun 10, 2005)

Take a warm coat man, and best wishes on your journey.


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## willow_girl (Dec 7, 2002)

Best of luck to you, SwampMan!


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## arcticow (Oct 8, 2006)

Be safe on the trip, Nick. Best of luck with the fresh start! Miz Lesley will add her 2 cents worth later.


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## homefire2007 (Sep 21, 2007)

I second that emotion about the heat. I left Texas with my two kids and a couple of garbage bags of clothes eight years ago. Best, scariest decision I ever made. You will land on your feet and thrive. I'm hoping you will keep us posted on your new journey in life! By the way, cold and snow rock :nanner:


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## sidepasser (May 10, 2002)

Sometimes life gets a whole lot better when you get out from under the things that are keeping your down.

Good luck on your journey and I hope you like Iowa!!


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## Guest (Sep 3, 2013)

I'm sorry that you have to leave..and understand the "why's"..there is absolutely NO doubt in my mind that as long as you are kind to yourself, you will find happiness wherever you land...and, as always, you are right there in my prayers.


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## Cornhusker (Mar 20, 2003)

sidepasser said:


> Sometimes life gets a whole lot better when you get out from under the things that are keeping your down.


That's pretty good advice...best I've heard for a long time.

Good luck Swampy


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## Dutchie (Mar 14, 2003)

Cornhusker said:


> That's pretty good advice...best I've heard for a long time.


Perhaps it is time for you to pay attention to that.


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## AngieM2 (May 10, 2002)

Best way to clean house it is to move.

Best wishes on this life adjustment.


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## frogmammy (Dec 8, 2004)

Change in Latitude usually does the trick!

Give us a yell when you're ready to head up this way!

Mon


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## Fair Light (Oct 13, 2010)

Best Wishes to you... I have done this too...it's how I landed here in Kentucky.... You will be just fine...change is good...


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

I agree that sometimes it is just best to walk away and move forward...best of luck to you! 

I have no doubt you will land on your feet (and in the arms of a few fine women along the way, no doubt!)


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## swamp man (Dec 25, 2005)

Ramblin Wreck said:


> Take a warm coat man, and best wishes on your journey.


Dang right about the coat, buddy. Fairfield has lots of icy steps too, so I may need to invest in a crash helmet, as well. I spent most of january and febuary there, and I lived in Colorado for a few years, so I ain't a stranger to cold winters. 
Have picked up and moved several times before. It's pretty liberating to reduce the belongings to almost nothing and start over, "almost" being the keyword....that truck is real, real little, and will definitely require some creative packing just to carry the bare bones basics.
I will be able to keep gardening, harassing poultry, etc. My ex and possibly future girlfriend/new landlord (sounds like a good idea, don't it, fellers?) Owns two houses a few blocks away. She rents out rooms, mostly to younger people, and several of them cooperate in an urban homesteading kinda' thing. A few of them are exceptionally hot lesbians, which is irrelevant, but the fact remains....EVERYTHING IS BETTER IN THE PRESENCE OF HOT LESBIANS. Don't get me started. Anywho, there are gardens, greenhouses, a big chicken/duck yard, and maples to tap. The quadraplex I'll be in has a bit of a yard, and none of the current tenants have any interest in it, so I should have room to do some gardening and make accommodations for my dog. My dog is a concern. He's not a "roamer", but he's used to living in the country. I've been working with him on leash training, and he's taking to it very well. 
Dang....gotta' go show the trailer to a potential buyer. Will finish up later.


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## Twp.Tom (Dec 29, 2010)

Good Luck on your adventure Swampman-I have enjoyed your posts here. Hope to here from you ,at your next stop.


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## BlueRose (Mar 7, 2013)

Good Luck


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## skeeter (Mar 23, 2013)

Best wishes


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

I love adventures, esp when you don't have a game plan. It will all work out for you and just think, you have the chance to a whole entire brand new life, you write the book on this chapter. Good luck...


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## Shygal (May 26, 2003)

I never understand why guys like to see lesbians. Its not like they have any interest in you guys :shrug:

What about your daughter, Nick?


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## Grumpy old man (Aug 6, 2013)

This always works for me !


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

Shygal said:


> I never understand why guys like to see lesbians. Its not like they have any interest in you guys :shrug:
> 
> What about your daughter, Nick?


I saw this movie around 1999 and can't remember the title. This fellow bugs his wife about adding another woman to their usual stuff. Finally, fed up with his bugging her about it, she agrees. Of course he's done In about 6 minutes, falls asleep in the chair, wakes up and sleeps on the couch, wakes up next morning and they're still going along. Needless to say his marriage suffers and it is the end of the world as he knew it. Kind of funny, it was.


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## Cornhusker (Mar 20, 2003)

Shygal said:


> I never understand why guys like to see lesbians. Its not like they have any interest in you guys :shrug:
> 
> What about your daughter, Nick?


Just kind of a fantasy every guy has
Movie lesbians and real lesbians are totally different creatures


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

I think most guys have vagina envy, and wish they had one. Only they can't imagine having sex with a man, they are stuck with imagining same sex adventures so, all men are lesbians trapped in a man's body.


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## Cornhusker (Mar 20, 2003)

Most men don't really want lesbians, that's just a fantasy
Most of us want June Cleaver, Donna Reid, or even Lucy
Most of us want a happy, stable relationship


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## Shygal (May 26, 2003)

Cornhusker said:


> Just kind of a fantasy every guy has
> Movie lesbians and real lesbians are totally different creatures



Yeah, movie ones are always bi , and real ones generally hate men lol


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Ya sure learn a lot about the guys from ST by reading this thread. Just sayin...:whistlin:


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## swamp man (Dec 25, 2005)

vicker said:


> I saw this movie around 1999 and can't remember the title. This fellow bugs his wife about adding another woman to their usual stuff. Finally, fed up with his bugging her about it, she agrees. Of course he's done In about 6 minutes, falls asleep in the chair, wakes up and sleeps on the couch, wakes up next morning and they're still going along. Needless to say his marriage suffers and it is the end of the world as he knew it. Kind of funny, it was.





Shygal said:


> I never understand why guys like to see lesbians. Its not like they have any interest in you guys :shrug:


You can't prove that!
Why do we like to see lesbians? ......what kind of question is that? Why do we like rainbows, kittens, and perfectly cooked hamburgers? Why are our feelings stirred by Budweiser and puppy breath? 
Putting the meat in a lesbian sandwich CAN be done, but it's like catching a 10 pound bass and shooting a unicorn all in the same year. It's possible, though.


> What about your daughter, Nick?


My young'un and baby momma moved out of state a while back. I wouldn't be putting myself much farther away.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

My second wife was one of them gals. We had a real good run of it but, eventually, I think she just had to answer the call, started wearing comfortable shoes, them funny looking lesbian shirts and flirting with the lady butcher at the grocery store. It was pretty much down hill from there and I had to pack my pickup truck.


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

vicker said:


> started wearing comfortable shoes, them funny looking lesbian shirts


Uh Oh! I wear comfortable shoes. What's the funny looking shirts? Man, I might be a lesbian and not know it!


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

They're hard to explain, but I know them when I see them.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

To be clear, I find women in uncomfortable shoes unattractive. She most always wore comfortable shoes. Then I got her a good pair of brogans, followed by a pair of dressy cowboy boots, and then... Maybe it was all my fault.


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Oh wait, since I am moving over to a ranching community and start wearing cowboy boots does that mean I am crossing over?


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## skeeter (Mar 23, 2013)

Well I'm close enough to LA (thats Los Angeles and not Louisiana)
To know
Lesbians dress many different ways
There are the cross dressers that are not gay at all
Metro males...that was interesting and not very sexy to this woman
and the story goes on

I wonder why all the confusion people have about sexuality and what are they really saying.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

I think you all know me well enough to know I am being facetious. I would be the wrong person to ask whether you were crossing over or not. And I was not talking about all women or lesbians, I was talking about one in particular.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

back peddle faster Vicker their gaining on you....LOL!!


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

I can only peddle so fast.


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

Fowler said:


> back peddle faster Vicker their gaining on you....LOL!!


Their what is gaining on you? Ohhhhh, you mean "they're" gaining on you. :nana:

You know, Fowler, if I was a leabian I would want you. rincess:


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

I lived in MS (Biloxi) for 4 years, and I *hated* the heat! I don't blame you for gettin' out. Best of luck as you journey on. I have confidence that you will wind up just fine. Will your route take you thru Missouri?


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

shanzone2001 said:


> Their what is gaining on you? Ohhhhh, you mean "they're" gaining on you. :nana:
> 
> You know, Fowler, if I was a leabian I would want you. rincess:


Noticed you did not correct her on not using caps at the beginning of her sentences, teehee.


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## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

best wishes on your walkabout Nick, and have fun with the hot homesteading organic lesbians! if you ever want some more long hair n rainbows come ALL the way west haha


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## Oxankle (Jun 20, 2003)

Nick; Sorry to hear that you are losing your place. Have you ever thought about changing your ways and settling down? Life after "settling down" is less exciting than a bar fight, but it has its benefits.

A place and a woman of your own, a steady job, living within your income, money in the bank, crops that you will see both planted and harvested, a community that knows and respects you--no cop hassles-----the list goes on and on.
Ox


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## Mooselover (May 4, 2009)

OX...i don't know anything about swamp's life. therefore, i will not speak for him. when i read your post my first thought was......wild horses!!! they are beautiful, free-spirited and majestic. sometimes 'settling down' don't work for some people. moose-goos~ML​


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

And sometimes, no matter how much one settles down and tries to live quietly, crap still happens.


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## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

Glad you have something to fall back on, Nick. It's cruddy enough when life gives you a bunch of crud but even worse when you don't have something to go to.


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## Guest (Sep 9, 2013)

Mooselover said:


> OX...i don't know anything about swamp's life. therefore, i will not speak for him. when i read your post my first thought was......wild horses!!! they are beautiful, free-spirited and majestic. sometimes 'settling down' don't work for some people. moose-goos~ML​


if you did know Swampman, and liked him, you'd surely be wishing for his life to be as OX described..It's more than possible to be free-spirited and wondrously "alive" and still be settled down. All of that coolness, intelligence, wit and humor will still be there..


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## swamp man (Dec 25, 2005)

I wuvs you, Weswey.
My girly will be here in about a week to smack me for drinking again, bring me back from that abyss I frequent, and help me finalize my finalizations. I will protect my ears, cuz that's the only part that really stings when she slaps me on 'em. She'll make "green drinks" of vegetables I've never heard of and raw eggs, and assuming I don't die of withdrawal and explosive diarrhea, I'll feel better and regain my superpowers.
The really non-awesome part is that during this, my time of turmoil, she'll probably meet my crazy, evil mom, cuz ma is coming to pick up a piece of furniture she wants. Somehow, this always happens to me. Last time my idiot mother met one of my gals, they refused to become acquainted 'til I had to go to court for one of my strayin's from the law. Standing in front of a judge and waiting to find out just how deep the dookie done got is a really honest and contemplative moment all by itself....knowing that your mom and your girlfriend are simotaneously making their first introductions in that very courtroom adds the nearly-lethal dose of stress.
Anywho, I'll get through it.
My current legal unpleasantries ain't yet resolved, I had a court date recently, but my lawyer is a massengill nozzle, they'd just lock me up, so I opted out of attending since incarceration has failed to improve my character in the past, anyway. Jail don't make ya' better,it just makes ya' meaner.
So, here we go. 
My gal drives a station wagon with a roof rack, so that'll help tote some stuff, and caravaning will alleviate the worry of travelling with my dog under less than legal conditions.


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

Oh, Swampy, you have such a way with words and your adventures are never ending!


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

In the life and times of Swamp Man. Dude, ya need a different town, a different state and a chance for a new life. Good luck on your new adventure.


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## Grumpy old man (Aug 6, 2013)

So running away to a different state while you have "legal difficulties " is your answer ? Why even bother to try to find a new woman when the first thing they will have to deal with is baggage ? Do your self a favor turn yourself in, Man up , Handle the "Legal difficulties " and start over with a clean slate and the ability to walk down the street without looking over your shoulder every time a cop passes you by ! Any job worth having will require a background check especially coming from another state and being new in town ! Karma is a :hammer:


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## swamp man (Dec 25, 2005)

Grumpy old man said:


> So running away to a different state while you have "legal difficulties " is your answer ? Why even bother to try to find a new woman when the first thing they will have to deal with is baggage ? Do your self a favor turn yourself in, Man up , Handle the "Legal difficulties " and start over with a clean slate and the ability to walk down the street without looking over your shoulder every time a cop passes you by ! Any job worth having will require a background check especially coming from another state and being new in town ! Karma is a :hammer:


First and foremost, dude, I ain't in the market for a new woman. I have one and plan to hang on to her.
I'm not going through this crooked system again, and karma ain't got the first thing to do with it 'cuz I didn't do anybody wrong. Someone I used to work with burglarized my home while I was at work, and his cop friend hit me with a charge because I was filing a charge. It's baloney, and I aint gonna' participate.


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## willow_girl (Dec 7, 2002)

Swampman,

Sounds like you haven't quite "hit bottom" yet.
Remember that you don't have to ride the garbage truck alllll the way to the dump!


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## Terri (May 10, 2002)

Um, Swampy? 

My nephew voted with his feet, and the results got ugly!


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## Guest (Sep 11, 2013)

The OP seems quite capable of landing on his feet, and don't really seem to need much advising. However, I'd like to disagree with some advise offered. 
1. the advise to "straighten up" 
The time to straighten up is when you win a million dollar lottery and got a good reason to see some up. Lot of my friends decided to straighten up at the low point of their lives. Got straight, could see the jam they were in, and responded poorly.
2. "turn yourself in"
What would the good ole USA be like if out great great grandpas had kissed old King George's royal hiney when he said so? Just because authority is authority don't mean they're right.

If I had any advise, it would be to future readers of this thread, the OP probably already knows. But, those real accommodating girls you meet in detox? They're partying girls, not settling down girls.


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## homefire2007 (Sep 21, 2007)

Swampman, somehow, someway, sooner or later you will get the legal situation situated. Better sooner than later. But whatever you decide to do, I can't help but think it will be with a twinkle in your eye. Life just gets too darned complicated especially when alcohol is involved. But hey...you know all that. Hope things work out for you. You could always sit down and write, you are good at it and when or if you get a novel published, I want a signed copy!!


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

[email protected] Zong


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## swamp man (Dec 25, 2005)

I don't always land on my feet, but I know how to "tuck and roll" and I always get back up.
My Iowa gal ain't one of the gals I met in rehab. I met her on a gardening message board and she's very much a "together"person. She don't eat glutens or refined sugar, seldom drinks alcohol, and is a health nut in general. I like my tomater sandwiches on white bread, my whiskey comes off one of the low shelves, and I'm in love with Cookie Crisp. It could turn out that she's a positive influence. 

As the clock ticks, plans are changing some. I think I posted before that she owns two houses next door to each other there where they have the gardens, hot lesbians, greenhouses, chickens, worm bins, etc. A vacancy has come up in one of the rooms, so my dog and I will likely take that room. It aint the house she lives in, but it's right next door. 
Because I'm falling somewhat short of operating a motor vehicle legally, we're probably getting a hitch installed on her car and renting a car dolly to tow my truck. In the meantime, I still gotta replace upper and lower ball joints, sway bar bushings, and whatever else in the front end that's looking critical. It'll get accomplished, I'll just need to curl up in the fetal position and cry once in a while during the work.
My girlie has gone to her condo in chicago for a few days, then is off to Arkansas to look at buying a trailer park, and then coming here. I expect her to arrive Sunday or Monday. She can stay for about a week, giving me time to fix a truck, sell a bunch of stuff, get this mobile home hauled away, and pack.
Oh.....it's looking like that in order to use this car dolly without tearing up my transmission, I'm gonna' need to disconnect the drive shaft from the differential, another mechanical treat.


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## willow_girl (Dec 7, 2002)

> Oh.....it's looking like that in order to use this car dolly without tearing up my transmission, I'm gonna' need to disconnect the drive shaft from the differential, another mechanical treat.


Yes, if it's an automatic, you need to disconnect the tranny or haul it on a flatbed trailer.


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## swamp man (Dec 25, 2005)

willow_girl said:


> Yes, if it's an automatic, you need to disconnect the tranny or haul it on a flatbed trailer.


An auto tranny?.....No, when it comes to shifting gears, I prefer to make the decisions.The advent of the automatic transmission and when men began to lose their testicles lime up chronologically, and it ain't no coincidence. 
Even in neutral, bein' towed will get parts of the tranny moving and those parts won't be being lubricated. Okay to drag it to a shop, but not okay for a fourteen hour interstate trip.
It's adorable when pretty women pretend to know about cars though, so...thanks for being adorable.


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## willow_girl (Dec 7, 2002)

I took 3 years of autoshop in high school. Of course, that was back in the day when most cars still had carburetors ... :hysterical:

I remember just enough to be dangerous.


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## swamp man (Dec 25, 2005)

I'm making some progress, but DANG it's amazing how we accumulate "stuff" even we're making a conscious effort not to....I'm surrounded by stuff, and it's tough to know where to start. The back bedroom is pretty much empty, so the plan I'm going with is to pile up what I want to take in there, then get rid of what's left. ElkHound would be proud of what's been moved so far....mostly my guns, fishing poles, camping gear, cold weather clothes, and yep, my Rapala fillet knife is going with me.
Today's project is to consolidate my three fishing tackle boxes into one tackle box, go through hand tools, sort clothes, and attack the diamond plate truck toolbox, which of course is doused in goo from a dern jug of chainsaw bar oil spilling. Might even make it as far as going through pots and pans. Oy....lotsa' work.


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