# Dealing with the criminals next door



## mpillow (Jan 24, 2003)

I'm telling you I'm 'bout ready to let it rip....

The neighbors(Mother and son(disabled)) (next door) extended family---one son is a sex offender and his son went to prison for attempted murder...the sex offender has kids from 37yo down to 6yo Daughter. 

Grammy often has the 6yo on the weekends and comes down at chore/milking time...to let the girls play together. My DD10 helps with chores (I count on her) and this kid is not the best behaved kid, you know (mom is a druggy, kid has tested pos. for drugs because mom smokes too much around her and dad is a sex offender and Grammy spoils her because she feels bad)....she hits and kicks and pitches fits while in Grammy's care....
To be quite honest I CAN"T stand the kid....a first rate brat! Yep she's in a tough situation but it isn't my ballgame to play.

The problem is that my DD10 doesn't NEED this kind of influence as DD already has Attachment Disorder and prone to being untrustworthy. The grand daughter was down here last night and again this morning....I was polite but FRANKLY I'm tired of it. Spooking the animals w/ outbursts, disobeying Grammy, then I have to step in and make her mind (or try)

What to do?


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## homstdr74 (Jul 4, 2011)

Rock and a hard place. If you discipline the child or tell her to leave and never darken your door again, you'll most likely put yourself in some sort of bad situation with your "neighbors". If you don't, you are risking your daughter's future, and IMO that's a risk not worth taking. I'd tell the girl she's no longer welcome, and tell her Granny why. 

Then I'd consider building a good security fence around my home.


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## Ardie/WI (May 10, 2002)

Is Grammy there to help with milking/chores? Is she being paid to that that?


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## psk1 (Sep 17, 2011)

homstdr74 said:


> Rock and a hard place. If you discipline the child or tell her to leave and never darken your door again, you'll most likely put yourself in some sort of bad situation with your "neighbors". If you don't, you are risking your daughter's future, and IMO that's a risk not worth taking. I'd tell the girl she's no longer welcome, and tell her Granny why.
> 
> Then I'd consider building a good security fence around my home.


I agree. Been though this myself feel bad for other child but must put your child first.


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## mpillow (Jan 24, 2003)

Ardie/WI said:


> Is Grammy there to help with milking/chores? Is she being paid to that that?


Um no....its like I'm the neighbor with a petting zoo whenever the grandkids or great grands visit....as much as 2-3 times a week....

At some level I feel like the sons and grandson are casing my place...
My husband doesn't even come out side or stop what he's doing to "deal" with them...either...

One time DH did go out after a half an hour and carry the fit pitching brat home...her grandmother left her in our driveway...screaming because she did not want to leave...and it was nearly bedtime.:blossom:


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## morninglory (Aug 7, 2003)

Difficult situation. The Christian thing to do is pray about this and talk lovingly to your daughter about the behavior of the other girl and what you disapprove of and why you don't want her to behave like that and explain to her that we are to love and try to help (encourage and lift up)one another. We cant always have perfect examples of people around our kids. I believe closing them off from others is not effective in the long run. Guiding them thru the challenges of choosing to do right is really what parenting is all about.Perhaps your daughter could not only do her work of helping you but include the problem child as her helper. This will give your daughter a very worthy responsibility as well as showing acceptance and love to the problem child. So Grammy and problem child hopefully will become your additional helpers.Who said raising kids was easy.


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## chickenista (Mar 24, 2007)

I think that palisades and 20 ft stone walls are very pretty.


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## TheMartianChick (May 26, 2009)

I'd politely cut my losses and move on. If it means losing a friendly neighbor, then so be it. I'd come up with a good excuse as to why no one can be around when you're doing chores. I'd cite bio-security for your animals because there are so many animal illmesses that can be spread easily.


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## mpillow (Jan 24, 2003)

TheMartianChick said:


> I'd politely cut my losses and move on. If it means losing a friendly neighbor, then so be it. I'd come up with a good excuse as to why no one can be around when you're doing chores. I'd cite bio-security for your animals because there are so many animal illmesses that can be spread easily.


Yes they certainly don't need a reason to sue me.....God knows they would if she even got a splinter.

Another neighbor has horses in her pasture that butts the road (secondary, low traffic) and no trespassing signs, don't feed or pet the horses signs....someone did anyway and the horse bit him...He filed a lawsuit and won damages:shocked:


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

I would tell Grammy and the girl that since she's there so often that I'm going to treat her like one of my own and if she doesn't listen/misbehaves she'll get the same punishment as my kids do and if they don't like it to keep her home.


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## mpillow (Jan 24, 2003)

I failed to mention that having her here to play is an open invitation for sex offender Dad to come down too when he shows up to visit his mom and the kid.


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## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)

I agree with Morninglory. Put the kid and grandma to work if they're going to show up at chore time. No ifs, ands or buts about it. Grandma can supervise her grandchild while they're helping you with the chores. If they refuse to help with the chores then you have to politely explain to her that on your farm you have certain standards that you're setting for your daughter re: work and responsibilities around the farm that must be conformed to and that disruptions and interruptions cannot be tolerated. They will have to visit at another time when you have free time for visiting.

Are Grandma and the kid Christians? Whether they are or not, while they're visiting with you would be a good time for you to start preaching and witnessing Jesus to them and to speak of the principles of hard work ethics from the Christian viewpoint. Get them to pray with you. That should do one of two things - it will either chase them away to avoid being preached at or it will make them understand responsibility and work ethics in a new light.



> I failed to mention that having her here to play is an open invitation for sex offender Dad to come down too when he shows up to visit his mom and the kid.


Put him to work too. That will give you a good opportunity to witness to him as well, hopefully he will mend his ways.

.


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## 7thswan (Nov 18, 2008)

I don't have kids,but have you thought about open carry? Might also be a reason that the neighbor granny wouldn't want the kid wandering over.


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## mpillow (Jan 24, 2003)

My faith is very private to me....and that kind of preaching behavior would not fly here.

It would certainly drive them away, but I'm not willing to put on a facade that includes "mocking" God....


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## mpillow (Jan 24, 2003)

7thswan said:


> I don't have kids,but have you thought about open carry? Might also be a reason that the neighbor granny wouldn't want the kid wandering over.




The kid would prolly try to take it and play with it!

My son had his moose tag (looks like a bracelet) last Fall on the table and she stole it....luckily Grammy found it and returned it....she has poked her fingers thru the eggs we collect in a basket in the sunroom....just a real PITA kid.


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## homstdr74 (Jul 4, 2011)

mpillow said:


> I failed to mention that having her here to play is an open invitation for sex offender Dad to come down too when he shows up to visit his mom and the kid.


Just a thought, 'cause I don't know where you are located (don't think it's really China); but if the male really is a convicted sex offender, can't you call the law on him if he's within a certain distance of your daughter? Personally, I wouldn't put up with that aytall.....


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## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)

mpillow said:


> My faith is very private to me....and that kind of preaching behavior would not fly here.
> 
> It would certainly drive them away, but I'm not willing to put on a facade that includes "mocking" God....


:hrm:

Nobody said you should make a mockery of God. It's too bad your faith is more private to you than your domestic privacy and the safety of your daughter and your home. If you're not a Christian then witness to them about whatever your faith is and put them to work.

.


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## megafatcat (Jun 30, 2009)

The child molester is probably NOT to be around your children.(terms of parole) Take a photo of him coming over and you may be able to do the country a service and get him back in prison.


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## Ardie/WI (May 10, 2002)

I would simply tell Grammy that the child is NOT welcome on my property!


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## mpillow (Jan 24, 2003)

I don't think the police would do anything...unless we put up no trespassing signs...and then it would just be a warning...

and yes for me to start Bible thumping at the barn would seem to people who know me that I had lost my marbles or was poking fun at the parking lot preachers who go around asking if you've been saved....

when the kid dances suggestively and sings trashy songs its a little much....she told me this morning she is going to kill the boy at school who is bullying her....I said to her that no one should ever kill, but you should have the teacher set him straight and she said " those f teachers don't do a thing" Surely this is out of her parents' mouth...but given that her brother acted out this very scenario at almost 17yo----it makes me give pause

I've got enough to do than try to save this one.


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## tambo (Mar 28, 2003)

If she said that word to me, she would've been ask to leave right then and there and not to return. She would know exactly why and shown it wasn't going to be put up with at my house. Problem solved.


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## Shrek (May 1, 2002)

Tell them y'all got some sort of cootie that you have to treat for . Maybe scratch a little bit here and there while you tell them and watch em :run:


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## MO_cows (Aug 14, 2010)

I would talk to Granny and the kid. If the kid truly likes to be there, she can likely modify her behavior to be allowed over. Tell them straight up - When you are here, you can't do this, this or this. You should do this, this and this to help the animals. If you can do that, come on. If you can't, stay away. 

Just lay down the ground rules, it's your property. As far as your own daughter, sounds like this kid is setting a great example of how NOT to behave, sometimes a very effective form of learning by example.


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## InvalidID (Feb 18, 2011)

TheMartianChick said:


> I'd politely cut my losses and move on. If it means losing a friendly neighbor, then so be it. I'd come up with a good excuse as to why no one can be around when you're doing chores. I'd cite bio-security for your animals because there are so many animal illmesses that can be spread easily.


 I think this is about as elegant a solution as you're going to get right here. IF need be, fake an animal illness and say you can't risk anymore people coming around them.


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## JuliaAnn (Dec 7, 2004)

Didn't read all the replies but I have to ask.......why is this even an issue?

Do you want to place the well-being and security of your daughter and animals in jeapordy? 

No one in that family is going to shrivel up and die if you politely but firmly tell the grandmother not to bring the child back. They'll survive just fine.


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## beaglebiz (Aug 5, 2008)

InvalidID said:


> I think this is about as elegant a solution as you're going to get right here. IF need be, fake an animal illness and say you can't risk anymore people coming around them.


Agreed.

Do you know what the sex offense was?? Not trying to be snooping, but, there was a local young man (19) who is now a convicted sex offender for sexual acts between he and his underage girlfriend. Not saying I agree with what he did, but thats a far cry from a grown man fondling a 12 yr old girl. KWIM??


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## mpillow (Jan 24, 2003)

beaglebiz said:


> Agreed.
> 
> Do you know what the sex offense was?? Not trying to be snooping, but, there was a local young man (19) who is now a convicted sex offender for sexual acts between he and his underage girlfriend. Not saying I agree with what he did, but thats a far cry from a grown man fondling a 12 yr old girl. KWIM??


raping a 13yo (daughter to his at the time GF)


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## Mid Tn Mama (May 11, 2002)

Here's your answer right there:
You said,

"Another neighbor has horses in her pasture that butts the road (secondary, low traffic) and no trespassing signs, don't feed or pet the horses signs....someone did anyway and the horse bit him...He filed a lawsuit and won damages"

Say, my husband and I were horrified to learn what happened right here where we live and for that reason, we are no longer inviting neighbors to the farm. Say, Perhaps we can meet you at church and to play outside church sometime. If she thinks you are a loony tune, well, maybe she will understand that easier than the more significant reason. And, as you said, you know they are probably the type to do that too.

You do have significant issues given your daughter being easily influenced and the sex offender in the family. Being Christian doesn't mean you must put your family in harm's way.


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## chickenslayer (Apr 20, 2010)

JuliaAnn said:


> Didn't read all the replies but I have to ask.......why is this even an issue?
> 
> Do you want to place the well-being and security of your daughter and animals in jeapordy?
> 
> No one in that family is going to shrivel up and die if you politely but firmly tell the grandmother not to bring the child back. They'll survive just fine.


Like the NIKE ad says, just do it


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## morninglory (Aug 7, 2003)

Adding the sex offender to the equation changes lots of things in my opinion. Under no circumstance would he be welcome anywhere near me or my children. I think that sex offenders by law are not allowed around children except their on bio children. Some states may not be this way but I think they are all very clear on this. Explain this all to the adult Grandmother. Obviously she is trying to be a good person(she returned an object stolen from your place). I understand how you cannot be preaching religion without coming off strange but sometimes actions of how we treat others is enough to get a message across. Words they may not listen to but your kindness (if it is even possible to show it under the circumstances) is interpreted as Christianity.Do the best that you can to protect your family in as nice a way as you are able and no one can expect more. Good luck on finding a solution. If it were my problem I think I would be on my knees a lot and then handle it how I decide it needs to be taken care of.


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## InvalidID (Feb 18, 2011)

mpillow said:


> raping a 13yo (daughter to his at the time GF)


 In that case he likely wouldn't be my neighbor anymore.


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## Pelenaka (Jul 27, 2007)

The fact that this sex offender has been on your homestead means that your daughter has become accustomed to seeing him in her home. She wouldn't be as alarmed if she happened on him in the barn or on the front porch as she would be with a total stranger.
All it takes is a second for him to get within arms length.


~~ pelenaka ~~


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## mpillow (Jan 24, 2003)

Well he doesn't live next door but he is there a lot...and so is his son (with female children)

I wonder if I'm not gonna give them an idea if I tell them I don't want them on my property due to what happened on neighbor H property....

I dunno, I went to bring some lunch to my son and granny and kid caught me at the mailbox...."Can DD10 come out to play?" Said no she hasn't gotten her house chores done yet...

Same bunch sells drugs and commits welfare fraud.

My friend here in town deals w/ same issue with her neighbor....and I think they are in fact related....


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## mpillow (Jan 24, 2003)

Pelenaka said:


> The fact that this sex offender has been on your homestead means that your daughter has become accustomed to seeing him in her home. She wouldn't be as alarmed if she happened on him in the barn or on the front porch as she would be with a total stranger.
> All it takes is a second for him to get within arms length.
> 
> 
> ~~ pelenaka ~~


I tend to **** the kids into the house when he is around....we have tried to teach her that he is bad man but part of her RAD is that she actually likes strangers and talks incessantly about everything to anyone....
I watch her VERY closely!


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## Pelenaka (Jul 27, 2007)

mpillow said:


> I tend to **** the kids into the house when he is around....we have tried to teach her that he is bad man but part of her RAD is that she actually likes strangers and talks incessantly about everything to anyone....
> I watch her VERY closely!


That really doesn't matter because as you know you can't watch her every sec of the day.

Here's a thought - he has poor impulse control you should also be concerned.


~~ pelenaka ~~


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## Freya (Dec 3, 2005)

If you "fear" angering these unstable neighbors by "laying down the law" and telling them ALL not to come back over... I would consider moving if at all possible.


Yes you can't know who your new neighbors would be... but you already know that the current neighbors are already most of everyones worst nightmares to have. I hate to say this but since so many people in the family are already "messed" up and these things tend to cycle through many generations... you cant even know for sure that grama is a truly good person.  The suckiest part is that this kid is seriously getting the short end and probably doesnt have a bright future. :awh:



*Either cut them all off (and prep for retaliations) or go find a safer place to live. A 20 foot high wall might not stop the trainwreck that is that family.*




.


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## OnlyMe (Oct 10, 2010)

Perhaps you could explain that after the incident with your neighbor and the horse that you contacted your insurance company to review coverage. The insurance company explained that as a "personal farm" - (Ok, I'm making things up here but you get the gist) that you are not allowed to have non-family with the animals.

I'd add that you'd be happy to have them visit & that you'll give them a ring soon. You feel terrible about it but your husband is adamant. (If he won't help with the situation he can be "bad cop".).


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## pamda (Oct 14, 2004)

If this was going on in my home I would be in big trouble. If a kid were to poke fingers into my eggs as I gathered them she'd get her hand smacked so fast it would be scary. There is no excusse for such actions at all. And the swearing and dancing would get one warning and then she'd be sent home with granny in tow. And not be back. This is a fire storm looking to break out. And the molester would be spoken to and warned to stay off my property or the results would be his problem I have no use for men like this and really someone should be checking with parole and probation and letting them know he is hanging around kids. And I have a step-son in prison for just this thing. He gets out soon, I may end up single as I will not have him in my home. He molested his 7 year old step daughter in this house. She is mentally challenged which is so sad.


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## ginnie5 (Jul 15, 2003)

we have registered sex offenders right up the road from us. Its a "ministry" halfway house. So I can relate to this one a little. I NEVER am friendly to these men. In fact I am downright unfriendly. I get a notication when a new one comes in and we usually see them walking up and down the road. They know I'm watching them. If the kids are out front and I see them around I go and just stand there and stare them down. Normally the kids play out back where the pyr is. These men (and I use that term loosely) ride up and down the road and wave. I don't wave, I don't smile, and I watch them like a hawk.


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## mpillow (Jan 24, 2003)

pamda said:


> If this was going on in my home I would be in big trouble. If a kid were to poke fingers into my eggs as I gathered them she'd get her hand smacked so fast it would be scary. There is no excusse for such actions at all. And the swearing and dancing would get one warning and then she'd be sent home with granny in tow. And not be back. This is a fire storm looking to break out. And the molester would be spoken to and warned to stay off my property or the results would be his problem I have no use for men like this and really someone should be checking with parole and probation and letting them know he is hanging around kids. And I have a step-son in prison for just this thing. He gets out soon, I may end up single as I will not have him in my home. He molested his 7 year old step daughter in this house. She is mentally challenged which is so sad.


I'm sorry you have to go thru this. My DD10 is a result of a sex offender raping a mentally challenged woman so I now full well how heart breaking it is...

Its funny my husband until recently has been kind of passive about it all....he's volunteering to help w/ chores tonight! Even muttered something about moving...I've been complaining for years! YEARS!


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## scooter (Mar 31, 2008)

No way would I put up with all that you have. You are not getting paid to babysit. Tell the grandma in no uncertain terms exactly why you don't want her there, you already have a whole list of what she's done.


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## jamala (May 4, 2007)

Because of the family history of violence if she said that she was "going to kill someone" in my presence I would have to call the grandma and maybe the school. That is a threat plain and simple. She and the entire family would be told in a matter of fact manner that I could not allow them on my property any longer. I would put up posted signs immediately. Explain to grandma that you cannot expose your kids to the language that her granddaughter is using or her misbehaviour that you have enough trouble keeping your daughter straight without a negative influance. I would call the law if they violate the trespassing signs.


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## 36376 (Jan 24, 2009)

mid tn mama said:


> here's your answer right there:
> You said,
> 
> "another neighbor has horses in her pasture that butts the road (secondary, low traffic) and no trespassing signs, don't feed or pet the horses signs....someone did anyway and the horse bit him...he filed a lawsuit and won damages"
> ...


amen.


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## mekasmom (Jan 19, 2010)

mpillow said:


> To be quite honest I CAN"T stand the kid....a first rate brat!
> 
> What to do?


Tell her to go home and stay home. You don't want her over at your house.


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## Becka (Mar 15, 2008)

mekasmom said:


> Tell her to go home and stay home. You don't want her over at your house.


Exactly. It's your place and you set the boundaries. I would simply tell her to "go home." If need be, ESCORT her home and tell grandma you are busy and cannot have her underfoot. Then turn around and leave, no discussion. You don't need to explain why or give reasons for your decision. That just gives them something to argue about or persuade you about.


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## mpillow (Jan 24, 2003)

Well there is a lot going on here on a daily basis...that must be done so we can properly feed ourselves, and keep the house warm. And I guess since they all are getting a free ride they have no idea what that looks like....

They have no idea how distracting they are to my DD10 who has RAD and attn. issues...they are used to letting there children run wild and be a burden to everyone else around them...I have to keep prompting my kid to get her stuff done...and after so many prompts...she has to do writing (write down how things should be done in correct order)....giving a pass or using an excuse is not an option with this kind of kid. It breaks my heart to go here because of THEM but I'm trying to teach accountability to my kid who has serious problems with lying, cheating and stealing w/o remorse.

They have no idea that on certain days, I have to go after coupons to help my small budget and my DD10 helps me with that too and especially enjoys shopping.

Last night they were waiting at the barn door, no show this am (it was cold you know too much like work to stand in the way in the cold)...oh but I finally get cleaned up and Sunday breakfast complete and going after Sunday papers...there they are waiting in the drive...I took care of my business, came in and said "honey, I'm good ---you deal with it" (I'm making pickles and relish before stuff goes bad) He went out...to sharpen his chainsaws and watch the kids.

And I've have dropped way too many hints...I guess I'll just have to be as rude and inconsiderate as they are....because I'm really quite peeved about it.:hair


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## Wags (Jun 2, 2002)

Hints never work with people like that, you or your dh need to just tell them that they are only welcome to come over if you have called and invited them.


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## Ellie Mae (Jan 18, 2011)

When our girls were children/teens we were the place that all the kids wanted to play at and there were only a couple of hard & fast rules, but once broken, no invite back....ever.
saying "I'm sorry" didn't work, they were told they were forgiven, but not allowed back over. 
Harsh, but we rarely had any issues and the kids felt safe and said so.

No swearing
No bullying/or mean teasing of others
No hitting
No back talk of any kind with adults
No lying
No stealing

If you don't set your own personal boundries and enforce them, the neighbors sure won't set any for themselves.
I have been in similar circumstances, so I do have compassion, but imho your the only one who can put a stop to it.
Give the girl a list of your rules, explain the consequences, give her one chance to behave, let her know there are no second chances.


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## Sawmill Jim (Dec 5, 2008)

Thank God for no neighbors :clap::clap: I would move if i was renting or they would move :duel::duel:


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## kenworth (Feb 12, 2011)

Here's my .02 worth.

You most likely have enough issues to deal with at your place. These neighbors are not your kin, nor are they your friends. How on earth are you supposted to get through your own day to day life and make time for them too?

Quite frankly you need to tell them to leave when they come over. No explanations are needed, they just need to leave. Don't you have your own life to live? How are you going to do this successuflly involving your neighbors and their issues?

Now you can flame me for being rude. Turn the other cheek, etc., etc.


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## Shrarvrs88 (May 8, 2010)

kenworth said:


> Here's my .02 worth.
> 
> You most likely have enough issues to deal with at your place. These neighbors are not your kin, nor are they your friends. How on earth are you supposted to get through your own day to day life and make time for them too?
> 
> ...


^^ this^^


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## mpillow (Jan 24, 2003)

kenworth said:


> Here's my .02 worth.
> 
> You most likely have enough issues to deal with at your place. These neighbors are not your kin, nor are they your friends. How on earth are you supposted to get through your own day to day life and make time for them too?
> 
> ...


Not rude but right... my pickles and relish are just getting done, pig arrived, my sis and my friend who took the other pigs came(for payment) and they (the grammy and child) were right in the mix...'cause a few minutes turned into an hour and a half that the kid was left alone here....until my sis came down the drive... then I had to bring work clothes to my kid that had to work sheet instead of tractor 'cause a kid quit....

I have a "good" group and I don't want these moochers part of it and my kid doesn't need the distraction...

Another fact that I failed to mention is that we bought this place from Grammy 20 yrs ago.....so I suspect that she considers it home or hers KWIM

Mean people suck, gotta go there though:smack


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## acde (Jul 25, 2011)

I would kindly tell them, I know you like the animals but it is taking me longer to do chores with you around so, if you wouldn't mind waiting for an invitation before you come over I would appreciate it.
also, no known pedophiles around my child period,no excuses, or exceptions!
sorry you are going through this, I hope things get better.

























































I


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## texican (Oct 4, 2003)

No good solution. Sometimes there just aren't any good solutions. And that only leaves bad solutions. Bad solutions shouldn't be utilized, except in the direst of times (no more Law and Order).

A bad solution would include a track-hoe. IF the big one arrived, having such a far out in left field solution might come in handy. "Break Glass In Emergency"... behind the glass is the keys to the 'hoe'.


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## Chief Cook (Apr 24, 2011)

Wow, MPILLOW, you really have your hands full. So what if these folks can't take a hint, just tell them to hit the road. You don't owe them a thing, and you have your dd10 to protect. Don't worry about hurting their feelings, cause I promise you people like that won't care about hurting yours. Being a Christian doesnt mean that you have to let other people walk all over you.


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## oregon woodsmok (Dec 19, 2010)

Apparently, you are nice to them, so how are they supposed to know they aren't welcome?

I'd say something like, "So sorry, but my doctor (that's me, Dr Woodsmoke) has put my daughter on a special program and she will not be allowed to see your child any more. Please do not come over here any more. You will have to leave now."

Every tome she comes over, tell her she must leave now. You are going to have to re-train her, so it will take awhile of consistently telling her to leave before she learns.

Since they are on the crazy side, blame it on me. They can't focus any anger on you if it is doctor's orders.


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## seagullplayer (Nov 6, 2008)

Bottom line;

Nothing will change until you are ready to do something different.

If you are being inviting to them, don't be upset that they except the invitation. :shrug:


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## Jennifer L. (May 10, 2002)

I didn't read all of the other responses so someone else may have said this: Tell Grandmother that they are there too much, that it's disrupting your life. If you don't mind things too much if it weren't so often, tell her that, say, one morning a week, or Saturday evening, whatever, it would be ok for her to bring the girl over. No sense making enemies of neighbors if you can simply get them to stay home more often.

It may be that it isn't the 6 YO that wants to come over, as much as it is the older woman who enjoys some adult conversation?

I guess I'm saying do what you have to do to preserve your own peace of mind, but try not to be too harsh doing it.

Been there, done that, had to finally tell them to stay home, too.

Jennifer


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## ldc (Oct 11, 2006)

FYI, mpillow lives in China, Maine for the poster who thought "China" was incorrect.

mpillow, because this situation is potentially so extreme, your behavior must be extreme, to protect your kids and farm. Best wishes, ldc


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## TxGypsy (Nov 23, 2006)

mpillow said:


> I failed to mention that having her here to play is an open invitation for sex offender Dad to come down too when he shows up to visit his mom and the kid.


Well there ya go. Put up a large gate and keep it locked. No way, no how, no matter what, would I have a known sex offender around my family. An irritating kid is one thing....Granny using you as an unpaid babysitter is one thing....a sex offender is something else!! Very firmly uninvite them.


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## manygoatsnmore (Feb 12, 2005)

So, mpillow, any updates? Curious to know if you've had a blunt talk with the grandmother and kid and if so, has it worked?


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## pamda (Oct 14, 2004)

mpillow said:


> I'm sorry you have to go thru this. My DD10 is a result of a sex offender raping a mentally challenged woman so I now full well how heart breaking it is...
> 
> Its funny my husband until recently has been kind of passive about it all....he's volunteering to help w/ chores tonight! Even muttered something about moving...I've been complaining for years! YEARS!


 Thanks you. I found out from my step daughter he will be out in the next 6 weeks. He plans on not putting his name on the perv list, and his mom (loosely stated) is going to try to get him to Mexico where his letter writting girl friend is. I am making a lot of phone calls to make sure this does not happen. He molested his sister, my daughter, and a bunch of others who were not belived and has gotten away with molesting for years. My daughter who is 37 just admitted to this and it happened in 1987. She did not want he step dad to know because she knew he would not love he anymore..wtheck? I am so upset. Please make sure this guy has no way to get to your kids..
OK, sorry for the thread hijack. Good luck with this.


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## mpillow (Jan 24, 2003)

no updates...haven't seen hide nor hair of neighbor since she doesn't have the grandkid to entertain...go figure!

I did find out that the disabled son that lives with Granny does not like all the noise the kid makes when she is there BUT that does not make the kid my problem.

I hope to have a more blunt conversation w/ granny soon. I did tell her a month or so ago when DD10 was caught stealing OTC meds. from the bathroom that I did not want them playing together but apparently she thought it was just that weekend...

DH likes the ins. excuse....wants me to say that our agent came out and said that the animals were not a problem as long as non-household members were kept away from barns/pens/pastures.


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## Zipporah (Jul 30, 2006)

mpillow said:


> I failed to mention that having her here to play is an open invitation for sex offender Dad to come down too when he shows up to visit his mom and the kid.


Why is a child living in a home with a sex offender ? 

He'd not be welcome to set foot on my property period.


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