# Men who don't buy Christmas, etc. gifts: why?



## thesedays (Feb 25, 2011)

When I was a kid, my mother habitually got NOTHING for Christmas, birthdays, etc. although the fact that she told us that mommies don't get presents may have had something to do with it.

Apparently this is not an isolated thing. If you're on the other side of it, why?


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## Forcast (Apr 15, 2014)

As a wife I got vacuum, pots and pans, carpet cleaners even a gym membership from husband.


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## thesedays (Feb 25, 2011)

But did you ask for them? Some do.


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## barnbilder (Jul 1, 2005)

Some women manage finances so adeptly that there is no chance of surprising them, and the item might get returned because there is a better deal or a coupon at a different store, so there better be a receipt. Destroys the magic. In such cases it is easier to just hand them wads of cash, or build something, or fix something, or get the kids out of their hair so they can relax and do projects that they want to do, instead of things they have to do.


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## poppy (Feb 21, 2008)

I hate shopping and am terrible at choosing what my wife likes. Used to force myself to buy her gifts but she either returned them for something she liked better or just put them away and never used them. Last few decades I just give her money to buy her own stuff.


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## Wellbuilt (Dec 25, 2020)

I allways bought a lot of presents for every one , but over the years the kids just don’t want anything from me that I would buy my wife buys a ton of stuff . 
(Barn builder hit it on the head )
she never likes any thing I buy then she returns it all ? 
So after all the kids found out about Santa I just stoped buying gifts . 
we both just buy any thing we need want ?
I’ve been playing Santa for 36 years I’m done.


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## Evons hubby (Oct 3, 2005)

I lavish my Yvonne with love and affection every day, she seems content with that.


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## CKelly78z (Jul 16, 2017)

My wife sees something on Amazon that she wants, and gets it for herself...it's a surprise to me when it shows up. I try to buy her stuff to pamper herself, but usually fail miserably. I don't generally buy anything for myself.


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## altair (Jul 23, 2011)

My father never got a card or gift for my mom for anything. I think his reasoning was she buys what she wants anyway but a card couldn't have hurt.


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## mreynolds (Jan 1, 2015)

I used to try and out do myself every year for Christmas and anniversaries. I bought a bigger diamond every year. About 5 years in my wife asked me why I did that. I didn't know why. To this day she still wears the first one I bought her. It is a good one but I did get a real good deal on it as I knew the jeweler and his father made the ring.

Gifts do not prove anything. She taught me that. If we need or want anything we buy it. We are not extravagant at all. Now we give practical stuff like comfortable socks and sweat pants. We save the best gifts for everyday and not just a few days a year.


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## Snowfan (Nov 6, 2011)

I haven't bought a gift for years. People ask me if I'm done with my Christmas shopping. I tell them I've been done for years. Wife lady handles all finances. She must do a good job since we've never been to bankruptcy court.
My daughter is the same way in her home.


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## whiterock (Mar 26, 2003)

Last gift I gave my EX was jewelry that I had custom made for her. She looked at it and tossed it to me and said take it back.


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## barnbilder (Jul 1, 2005)

If you need to look for something, and dig through drawers and shelves looking for it, and notice an awful lot of things that were presents that haven't moved since they were presented, you come to realize that things, to someone that has everything they need or knows where to get it, are not as valuable as time.


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## barnbilder (Jul 1, 2005)

altair said:


> My father never got a card or gift for my mom for anything. I think his reasoning was she buys what she wants anyway but a card couldn't have hurt.


Did he ever cook meals? Install new appliances? Take you to play putt-putt while your mom stayed at home and took a bubble bath and watched a flick, or did crafts, or whatever she liked to do? Giving people that already have quite enough money (Hallmark) more of it for a piece of gaudy cardboard does not necessarily signify love. Sometimes quite the opposite. Some of the most vain, self absorbed people I know will send cards, flowers, and jewelry to make up for the fact that they didn't spend any time with someone they profess to care about. Not even spending time with that person, but spending time FOR that person is one of the most selfless and appreciable acts that one can do.


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## Mish (Oct 15, 2015)

I think a lot of people, men and women, have listening problems. Presents don't have to be jewelry or clothing bought because you just have to buy a present, but listening to what people like/want and might not buy for themselves (often long before present-giving-season) takes time and effort that a lot of people don't want to put in. My biggest problem is remembering. I actually keep a list of things people talk about offhandedly throughout the year so I don't have to panic buy something useless that ends up collecting dust.

One of my favorite Christmas presents was a table saw. I needed it for art school and couldn't justify the expense at the time. Of course my girlfriends/female relatives were disgusted because they assumed my husband bought it for me so that he could use it, but it was one of the most thoughtful gifts I've ever received...because he noticed.


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## Mish (Oct 15, 2015)

barnbilder said:


> Did he ever cook meals? Install new appliances? Take you to play putt-putt while your mom stayed at home and took a bubble bath and watched a flick, or did crafts, or whatever she liked to do? Giving people that already have quite enough money (Hallmark) more of it for a piece of gaudy cardboard does not necessarily signify love. Sometimes quite the opposite. Some of the most vain, self absorbed people I know will send cards, flowers, and jewelry to make up for the fact that they didn't spend any time with someone they profess to care about. Not even spending time with that person, but spending time FOR that person is one of the most selfless and appreciable acts that one can do.


But is that what SHE wanted? Or was she the type that enjoyed getting a card or a flower here or there to show that someone was thinking of her?

Love languages are real, and it doesn't cost anyone anything to show someone they're loved in the way that that person likes to receive affection. I'm with you on appreciating acts of service, but that doesn't make someone who appreciates gifts more wrong, either.


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## barnbilder (Jul 1, 2005)

Gee honey, what do you want? Oh, a new car, four wheel drive, haul a round bale, 60 miles per gallon, seats five, and it's got to handle good. Or a piece of land with a nice house that is far enough away from neighbors that they don't complain at weaning time, but still five minutes from shopping. Well, we can't afford those things if they even existed. So here is a trinket and a card with a cat on it. - Is this sustainable?


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## Mish (Oct 15, 2015)

barnbilder said:


> Gee honey, what do you want? Oh, a new car, four wheel drive, haul a round bale, 60 miles per gallon, seats five, and it's got to handle good. Or a piece of land with a nice house that is far enough away from neighbors that they don't complain at weaning time, but still five minutes from shopping. Well, we can't afford those things if they even existed. So here is a trinket and a card with a cat on it. - Is this sustainable?


If getting a card with a cat on it makes her feel like you love her, what's the problem?


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## HDRider (Jul 21, 2011)

Gifts at the expected time are the result of pressures related to commercialism and consumerism.


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## barnbilder (Jul 1, 2005)

Mish said:


> If getting a card with a cat on it makes her feel like you love her, what's the problem?


If it dd, in my case, I definitely would. I have many times made a detour into the woods to pick some wildflowers, or sometimes even the liquor store, but I don't have a certain day or an occasion that I'm bound to. If it's near Christmas I do say Merry Christmas when I bring the Amazon packages in the house.


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## Mish (Oct 15, 2015)

HDRider said:


> Gifts at the expected time are the result of pressures related to commercialism and consumerism.


Which is fine, until you try to explain that to kids who are watching their friends get toys and feeling like they're somehow less-than. Or your wife. Or your husband.

I was raised by a hippy dippy communist who felt the same way. Yes, it's commercialism and consumerism but it sure feels really crappy when your friends are talking about what they got for Christmas and you didn't get anything. I saw my mother look sad when her shocked friends realized she didn't get so much as a card, and watched the silly fights over whether she could put up a tree because she thought they were pretty.

There is a time and a place for sociopolitical ideologies, and a time and a place to make people you care about happy in a way that makes them happy, or at a minimum not feel bad. It's nice when people can swallow a little bit of their own ego to sacrifice for someone else's happiness.


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## HDRider (Jul 21, 2011)

Mish said:


> Which is fine, until you try to explain that to kids who are watching their friends get toys and feeling like they're somehow less-than. Or your wife. Or your husband.
> 
> I was raised by a hippy dippy communist who felt the same way. Yes, it's commercialism and consumerism but it sure feels really crappy when your friends are talking about what they got for Christmas and you didn't get anything. I saw my mother look sad when her shocked friends realized she didn't get so much as a card, and watched the silly fights over whether she could put up a tree because she thought they were pretty.
> 
> There is a time and a place for sociopolitical ideologies, and a time and a place to make people you care about happy in a way that makes them happy, or at a minimum not feel bad. It's nice when people can swallow a little bit of their own ego to sacrifice for someone else's happiness.


Treat kids like kids.

Treat adults like adults


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## barnbilder (Jul 1, 2005)

Communication is very important. You don't want to get into a situation where you get something, that won't quite satisfy you because it lacks key elements that you needed, but because it was a gift you are bound to use it and feign appreciation. It's better to come to grips with communicating the unsuitability of a gift, and maybe the realization that it would be better for people to pick out their own highly personalized and elaborate gadgets that seem frivolous but are really neat. If you can get away with exchanging a necklace and some underwear, more power to you.


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## Danaus29 (Sep 12, 2005)

One year hubby bought me socks for Christmas. My old socks were really tight and hard to put on. I had hip surgery and couldn't put on my own socks for a couple years. The year of my surgery he bought me several pair of loosely woven fuzzy socks. It was the most thoughtful gift he got me, until he bought the Explorer for me for Mother's Day a couple years later.

I gave him a pair of pajama pants and a robe last year. Our daughter who still lives at home appreciated those items.


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## altair (Jul 23, 2011)

barnbilder said:


> Did he ever cook meals? Install new appliances? Take you to play putt-putt while your mom stayed at home and took a bubble bath and watched a flick, or did crafts, or whatever she liked to do? Giving people that already have quite enough money (Hallmark) more of it for a piece of gaudy cardboard does not necessarily signify love. Sometimes quite the opposite. Some of the most vain, self absorbed people I know will send cards, flowers, and jewelry to make up for the fact that they didn't spend any time with someone they profess to care about. Not even spending time with that person, but spending time FOR that person is one of the most selfless and appreciable acts that one can do.


Never cooked meals except once or twice when mom was sick and in bed. He would install new appliances, but if we're talking property maintenance, mom did that too. He didn't give any gift-like gestures either.

I don't disagree with your point on tawdry gifts but I'm just saying my father didn't have a gift bone in his body. I'm not sore about it, he's a good dad, but I know my mom sometimes wishes for something or "anything" in her words.


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## wr (Aug 10, 2003)

HDRider said:


> Gifts at the expected time are the result of pressures related to commercialism and consumerism.


My father insisted we made each other gifts of gave the gift of time. 

I remember being quite young and asking him why this was so important and at the time, he said that anybody can make a list and go to the mall but when you make a gift, you spend time reflecting upon the recipient. 

For the last 25 years, he has recieved countless pairs of handmade socks and cinnamon rolls made late day on the 24th. The tradition will carry on but this year, I gave his socks to a male nurse who took such great care of him in his last week and his cinnamon rolls will be delivered to the nursing station at that our local hospital when I head to my sister's Christmas day. Somehow it seems right.


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## Vjk (Apr 28, 2020)

She gets a birthday spanking and stuff and she's good for another 24 hours.


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## altair (Jul 23, 2011)

A few years back for my husband's side of the family, we drew names and had to make the other person's gift. My sister-in-law knitted me mittens and I made her a chocolate peanut-butter cake with ganache 

My husband also made me "husband coupons" before, gestures like a massage by him, washing my car, etc. and that was awesome.


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## TripleD (Feb 12, 2011)

I hate to be a Scrooge but I do gift cards and silver. It requires no thought and takes about 20 mins @CVS... I don't expect anything because they all know if I need it I already have it... If I want it I have to think about it a while.


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## muleskinner2 (Oct 7, 2007)

I always ask my wife what she wants. She tells me not to worry, I have already bought it and will get to see it when she opens the package. I bought her a lady's Rolex once, she returned it and bought an Omega. Evidently I have no taste in women's presents.


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## Digitalis (Aug 20, 2021)

Easy enough. I'm Jewish so it isn't my holiday 😁

Better believe I get presents for the wife. I don't care for cards and think they're overpriced ripoffs for what they are. But the wife loves them, so for that they're $5 or $10 well spent.


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## Ziptie (May 16, 2013)

The only thing I want from DH is help in completing projects. He really wishes he could just get me something shiny he really dislikes doing projects. 

This Christmas he is getting me a new computer (he builds them and had to clear the cost through accounting). For Christmas _from_ me he wants me to play video games with him, hence the new computer for me. Well, we will see what the 2 year old has to say about that. I can barley be on here and type stuff.


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## doozie (May 21, 2005)

I can't remember the last time my DH or I exchanged gifts. We've done cards for Birthdays and Anniversaries, but even those are few and far between now.

I was the one in charge of buying all the Kids presents, parents and inlaws presents for any occasion for the most part in the past. It's just what worked for us. 

I do know if I hinted around about wanting a special something he would and did his best to make it happen in the early years. I would do the same for him. 

We just don't play that game any more. No guilt, no pressure, no expectations.
We are in agreement in this decision.

We go just about everywhere together, so spontaneous purchases or gifts for ourselves happen instead of Birthday or Christmas presents with each others full approval on the spot LOL.


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## Alice In TX/MO (May 10, 2002)

I think I'd rather sit this Christmas out altogether.


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## mreynolds (Jan 1, 2015)

Alice In TX/MO said:


> I think I'd rather sit this Christmas out altogether.


Is everything OK?


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## thesedays (Feb 25, 2011)

FWIW, my mother would say she didn't want anything, and she wouldn't get anything except a token gift from her own mother, and if we DID get her anything, she would say "I don't want this junk!" and if she didn't destroy it in front of us, it would be in the garbage before the day was out.

I'll never forget the Mother's Day where I overheard her say from the next room, "Other mothers get diamonds and furs, and all I get is a Girl Scout camp craft project." Yeah, she thought I didn't hear it either.

I have heard that this kind of attitude is not uncommon, but if a man did it, he would be called abusive.


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## poppy (Feb 21, 2008)

CKelly78z said:


> My wife sees something on Amazon that she wants, and gets it for herself...it's a surprise to me when it shows up. I try to buy her stuff to pamper herself, but usually fail miserably. I don't generally buy anything for myself.


Same here Don't think I've bought any of my own clothes in at least 40 years. I do buy things like tools or parts I need.


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## 67drake (May 6, 2020)

Danaus29 said:


> I gave him a pair of pajama pants and a robe last year. Our daughter who still lives at home appreciated those items.


Sounds like me. First thing I do after work is take off my steel toes and work pants. Sometimes I put on a pair of basketball shorts or sweatpants if someone important is coming over, and it’s a fine line. 
My wife and I have no set gift giving rules. Depends on what each other needs, wants (a big difference between the two), and how much we can spare. My wife never wears make up or jewelry, besides her wedding ring. I just try to pay attention to things she likes, then make a mental note of it for future reference. 
Example- while driving through Georgia a few months back, I stopped and picked up a bag of pecans at a roadside touristy place. When I gave them to her she and her friend, the next door neighbor, ate the entire bag in one sitting. She said those were the best pecans she ever tasted. OK, so last week I look the place up, and they actually do online sales. I ordered her more pecans, and I saw that they have pickled beets too! Another one of her favorites. So I ordered some up. I bet she loves them. Not anything expensive, but the fact that I pay attention is what’s important to her. 
Last year I gave her a S&W .380. She loves it! Nothing speaks love more than firearms,in my book.


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## poppy (Feb 21, 2008)

doozie said:


> I can't remember the last time my DH or I exchanged gifts. *We've done cards for Birthdays and Anniversaries, but even those are few and far between now.*
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Just curious . How does one go about having fewer birthdays and anniversaries? Asking for a friend .


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## Vjk (Apr 28, 2020)

poppy said:


> Just curious . How does one go about having fewer birthdays and anniversaries? Asking for a friend .


Easy. be born and marry on Feb. 29.


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## thesedays (Feb 25, 2011)

Vjk said:


> Easy. be born and marry on Feb. 29.


I was due on a February 29th, but I solved that problem by not being born on that day.


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## muleskinner2 (Oct 7, 2007)

67drake said:


> Nothing speaks love more than firearms,in my book.


Every time I buy a new gun, I tell my wife that it's for her. But now she wants to actually shoot them.


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## muleskinner2 (Oct 7, 2007)

Alice In TX/MO said:


> I think I'd rather sit this Christmas out altogether.


I'll tell you what. You sit it out, and I'll sit it out. Then we can compare notes. I always give the horses and mules an extra ration of grain on Christmas.


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## Evons hubby (Oct 3, 2005)

I bought my Yvonne an expensive Christmas present a few years ago but she refuses to use it. Don’t know why, it’s one of the nicest plots in the whole cemetery!


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## 67drake (May 6, 2020)

muleskinner2 said:


> Every time I buy a new gun, I tell my wife that it's for her. But now she wants to actually shoot them.


Who do you think used up all the ammo for my .357 the last time she went shooting?


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## Rodeo's Bud (Apr 10, 2020)

muleskinner2 said:


> Every time I buy a new gun, I tell my wife that it's for her. But now she wants to actually shoot them.


My wife only like big fancy ones.

OK, I can live with that.


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## JRHill02 (Jun 20, 2020)

I can not find anything she wants or needs and vv. Clothes, a ring or bracelet, whatever, it just a waste and doesn't get used. So now we have gotten more creative. This week ago I found her a toy Husqvarna chain saw at the farm store. I think it makes noise too. Perfect.

Frankly, we do things throughout the year unannounced. It works for us. A good Christmas meal is worth much more than buying something for the sake of spending money.


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## Hiro (Feb 14, 2016)

67drake said:


> Who do you think used up all the ammo for my .357 the last time she went shooting?


The farm boss gets what she asks for all year, so birthdays and Christmas are challenging. I am wrapping up 1k 9mm rounds for each for her.


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## brosil (Dec 15, 2003)

"What do you want for Christmas, Honey?"
"Oh, nothing." 
" Ok."


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## B&L Chicken Ranch and Spa (Jan 4, 2019)

CKelly78z said:


> My wife sees something on Amazon that she wants, and gets it for herself...it's a surprise to me when it shows up. I try to buy her stuff to pamper herself, but usually fail miserably.


For me that is the problem. She buys everything before I have a chance to.

Why argue about it, I just don't let myself be interested anymore.


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## Ziptie (May 16, 2013)

Sad to see hubby's trying so hard to get something for their wife and them feeling like the wife is just blowing it off. Going to make sure any effort DH puts in this year that I make sure I show my appreciation.


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## Forcast (Apr 15, 2014)

#1Bought myself cmas gift. Heated thing for sore necks.Stupid thing wont charge. 
#2 Ordered a wax warmer and wax.
Person i sent it too only got the wax.
Im so over xmas


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## Forcast (Apr 15, 2014)

Alice In TX/MO said:


> I think I'd rather sit this Christmas out altogether.


Nothing to wrap this year. Sent gkids money. Poof done and dusted


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## Danaus29 (Sep 12, 2005)

I hate it when you buy gifts then the gifts are defective or incomplete.


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## Yoopergirl58 (May 12, 2018)

My husband squirrels away any extra money he has left over so by Christmas he comes home with little (but loved) treasures. He knows how I love Trenary Toast & jalapeño cheddar bread. He surprised me with that along with peanut butter cups last year♥


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## Evons hubby (Oct 3, 2005)

Had friends drop by today with gifts. Spaghetti squash, tomato juice and some persimmon butter all from their garden and persimmon tree. Was also the cutest throw pillow. It has an elephant and donkey walking together embroidered with “true friends with different ideas”.


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## thesedays (Feb 25, 2011)

Bumpety bump bump bump


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## Wolf mom (Mar 8, 2005)

A family I know doesn't exchange gifts on Christmas - kids and all - they do put up a tree and outside decorations though. They go on trips instead.


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## Adirondackian (Sep 26, 2021)

Ive never heard of this, in fact in my own experience men tend to give the biggest, most expensive gifts.


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## GTX63 (Dec 13, 2016)

I know a guy that would buy his wife large expensive gifts every Christmas. An SUV, a ring, high end appliances, furniture etc.
They were married about 15 years when they were visiting one holiday evening and she remarked to my wife- "I wish he would quit buying me such expensive gifts without asking me what I want first."


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## Pony (Jan 6, 2003)

GTX63 said:


> I know a guy that would buy his wife large expensive gifts every Christmas. An SUV, a ring, high end appliances, furniture etc.
> They were married about 15 years when they were visiting one holiday evening and she remarked to my wife- "I wish he would quit buying me such expensive gifts without asking me what I want first."


Can't win for losing....

I think that far too many people have expectations out of line with reality. There is a myth floating around that the holidays are supposed to be some kind of special magic, a magic that makes up for whatever horrible things happened throughout the year. 

Some people are never satisfied, because their expectations are out of line with reality.

DH and I stopped celebrating Christmas a few years ago for theological reasons. Won't get into that here, just sayin'.

The rest of the year, we make the effort to love and appreciate each other day by day. DH brings home wildflowers he picked on the way home, I make his favorite food. If one of us knows the other wants something special, we either do a surprise, or say, "Hey, let's go to town and pick up that <fill in the blank>."

Each and every day, we make sure the other knows how much we love and appreciate our spouse and our marriage and our life together. 

Why wait and do it in one big massive blowout?

My heart goes out to those whose gifts were deemed insufficient by people who are too broken to see the love and caring behind the token.


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## GTX63 (Dec 13, 2016)

My wife had some important obligations this week so I caught her while she was at the pharmacy and took her list of items to pickup for the holiday meal.
I went to the first grocery store and they were out of about half of the stuff on her list.
I went to the local Walmart and they too were out of several spices, some vegetables, etc.
I drove 30 miles to the next Walmart and they were out.
I went to a Food City and found the last bottle of Terragon to complete the list.
At all 4 stores I found the parking lots to be chaos, the isles inside to be jammed with carts, people waiting for their turn to pick at the shelves, visit with friends, scroll thru their phones, and murmur and complain. The self scan checkouts were overflowing and log jammed. Long lines on the road, folks running red lights, horns honking, ugh.
The general mood was dark, cranky, short tempered and rushed. I found several clerks to be pleasant and helpful, in spite of the onslaught of humanity.
When people attempt to force a holiday spirit and put on aires as if it is a temporary thing, rather than simply practice kindness and giving on a regular basis, this is what you get.


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## wr (Aug 10, 2003)

GTX63 said:


> My wife had some important obligations this week so I caught her while she was at the pharmacy and took her list of items to pickup for the holiday meal.
> I went to the first grocery store and they were out of about half of the stuff on her list.
> I went to the local Walmart and they too were out of several spices, some vegetables, etc.
> I drove 30 miles to the next Walmart and they were out.
> ...


Decades ago, my father made a homemade gifts only rule for Christmas. His belief was that people hit the malls, upset and frustrated and end up buying gifts just to satisfy a perceived obligation. 

Over the years, I found that while I was making each gift, I had time to reflect upon the recipient.


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## 67drake (May 6, 2020)

Pony said:


> Can't win for losing....
> 
> I think that far too many people have expectations out of line with reality. There is a myth floating around that the holidays are supposed to be some kind of special magic, a magic that makes up for whatever horrible things happened throughout the year.
> 
> ...


Exactly. I have a very good friend and mentor who always says “The higher your expectations, the lower your serenity”. I loath the holiday season and shopping. I moved out of the city to get away from chaos, I don’t seek it out. 
I also try to love my wife on a daily basis, not just buy some gift to make up for the rest of the year.


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## mreynolds (Jan 1, 2015)

thesedays said:


> Bumpety bump bump bump


Look at Frosty go.


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## mreynolds (Jan 1, 2015)

Pony said:


> Can't win for losing....
> 
> I think that far too many people have expectations out of line with reality. There is a myth floating around that the holidays are supposed to be some kind of special magic, a magic that makes up for whatever horrible things happened throughout the year.
> 
> ...


That's exactly the way it should be imo.


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## JRHill02 (Jun 20, 2020)

JRHill02 said:


> I can not find anything she wants or needs and vv. Clothes, a ring or bracelet, whatever, it just a waste and doesn't get used. So now we have gotten more creative. This week ago I found her a toy Husqvarna chain saw at the farm store. I think it makes noise too. Perfect.
> 
> Frankly, we do things throughout the year unannounced. It works for us. A good Christmas meal is worth much more than buying something for the sake of spending money.


BTW, she didn't appreciate the little Husky saw. She promptly put it on my reloading bench in the back room.


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## homesteadforty (Dec 4, 2007)

I like holidays. I see them as something more than regular days. I always tried to show my love but to me, holidays are the days to show special attention.

Some gifts I've given:

A trip to a spa with the full service... mud bath, massage, facial, mani and pedicures, etc.
A limo ride to box seats at a play she wanted to see.
Dinner and dancing.
Seven sets fancy, frilly underwear (bra and panties... not the wear five minutes and throw on the floor stuff)... including a bra fitting.
Riding lessons... something she had wanted since being a teen. Then bought the horse.

The end result... well I live in a log cabin, deep in the mountains by myself... you decide.


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## JRHill02 (Jun 20, 2020)

Y'all gave me an idea with making the gift. The DW said she wanted another Carhartt seat cover in her rig - for the passenger seat. Can't think of a better way to force her to give up a few of these:









If I bought her new trousers shed still wear the old ones. I can make the seat cover IF I CAN FIGURE OUT THE DANG SEWING MACHINE. Anyone willing to help me get it set up? Every time I've tried I end up with a mess of thread, usually underneath.


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## thesedays (Feb 25, 2011)

wr said:


> Decades ago, my father made a homemade gifts only rule for Christmas. His belief was that people hit the malls, upset and frustrated and end up buying gifts just to satisfy a perceived obligation.
> 
> Over the years, I found that while I was making each gift, I had time to reflect upon the recipient.


Yeah, and I remember overhearing my mother grumble, "Other mothers get diamonds and furs for Mother's Day, and all I get is a Girl Scout camp craft project." She couldn't figure out why I was upset about that.


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## Pony (Jan 6, 2003)

JRHill02 said:


> Y'all gave me an idea with making the gift. The DW said she wanted another Carhartt seat cover in her rig - for the passenger seat. Can't think of a better way to force her to give up a few of these:
> View attachment 116294
> 
> 
> If I bought her new trousers shed still wear the old ones. I can make the seat cover IF I CAN FIGURE OUT THE DANG SEWING MACHINE. Anyone willing to help me get it set up? Every time I've tried I end up with a mess of thread, usually underneath.


You might need to take that machine to the shop to have the tension checked - unless you can adjust the tension yourself. But that sounds like what your problem is.

Are you using a heavy fabric needle?


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## Miss Kay (Mar 31, 2012)

We stopped giving gifts years ago. If one of us want something, we usually go shopping together to pick it out and it's fun that way. Why wait for a holiday! He does give me very sweet cards and he has even surprised me with flowers he picked for me from our yard and those mean more to me than anything. I would never know which particular tool he wants and I sure don't want him picking out my clothes or anything decorative for the house. That's my specialty. He doesn't even notice when I put something new out. I was getting our old Christmas decorations out yesterday and he made a comment about a Santa I had, "when did you get that", "Oh, about 30 years ago. I use it every year"!


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## Pony (Jan 6, 2003)

We were at the store yesterday, and saw a display of sofa pillows, some with cute sayings on them.

He held up one for me that said "I love US!"

I found one to hold up for him that said, "The best times are the times we are together"

And we left the store with warm feelings, and still had our money in our pockets.


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## Danaus29 (Sep 12, 2005)

Hubby is still trying to figure out how to put a bow on the insulation in our crawlspace. It's the most expensive Christmas gift he's ever given me. And probably the most useful.


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## thesedays (Feb 25, 2011)

Danaus29 said:


> Hubby is still trying to figure out how to put a bow on the insulation in our crawlspace. It's the most expensive Christmas gift he's ever given me. And probably the most useful.


I used to work with a woman who used a bag designed for full-sized bicycles to wrap a roll of insulation for her husband. Her children were still young enough to be impressed that Daddy got the biggest present.


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## Berwick (11 mo ago)

Miss Kay said:


> We stopped giving gifts years ago.


So did we - for each other.
But we still give gifts to the children.


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## Miss Kay (Mar 31, 2012)

Oh yes Berwick. We get way too much for the kids but then we love it.


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## amylou62 (Jul 14, 2008)

My husband never even attempts to buy me gifts anymore. I think he just doesn't want to be bothered.


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## Evons hubby (Oct 3, 2005)

amylou62 said:


> My husband never even attempts to buy me gifts anymore. I think he just doesn't want to be bothered.


You prolly upset him by not using the cemetery plot he bought for you.


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## mreynolds (Jan 1, 2015)

Evons hubby said:


> You prolly upset him by not using the cemetery plot he bought for you.


Huh?


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## whiterock (Mar 26, 2003)

wife.... you never get my Mother anything

husband...... she never uses what I buy her

wife .....name one thing

Husband......I bought her a cemetery plot 3 years ago and she still hasn't used it


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## Hiro (Feb 14, 2016)

Berwick said:


> So did we - for each other.
> But we still give gifts to the children.


Welcome back.


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## amylou62 (Jul 14, 2008)

Evons hubby said:


> You prolly upset him by not using the cemetery plot he bought for you.


You are hilarious!!!


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## Max Overhead (Feb 22, 2021)

I like to give the family things I make or harvest. Not sure they always appreciate it the way I do, but who in the world feels the same way I do about rogue, neglected trees dropping hundreds of gallons of pears, or pecan trees that just won't quit? This year, I'm going to keep it simple and feed their latent cynicism (they're very "progressive" and need cynicism in their lives.) This year I'm getting them demotivational calendars, and each one will be custom to my idea of the kind of person they are, and can potentially grow into. The site is here: Despair, Inc. - Demotivators®, The World’s Best Demotivational Posters
This isn't an ad; I've never bought their stuff because I'm too thrifty, but this season I'd rather hand over fiat than nuts and fruits and chit.


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## Danaus29 (Sep 12, 2005)

I love this one!









Attitude


If you can't handle me at my worst, you deserve to know it's also my best.




despair.com


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## Max Overhead (Feb 22, 2021)

danaus, I can't decide what's best I like so many. they're overpriced but belly laughs are priceless. i think my calendars are going to be all animal-themed. there's no lie in an animal, excepting cats.


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## muleskinner2 (Oct 7, 2007)

Just today I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas, and her Birthday which is in January. She told me she had already ordered her presents, and that she couldn't tell me what they were because it was a secret.


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## Berwick (11 mo ago)

whiterock said:


> Husband......I bought her a cemetery plot 3 years ago and she still hasn't used it


Some kind of black humour.


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## Pony (Jan 6, 2003)

Max Overhead said:


> I like to give the family things I make or harvest. Not sure they always appreciate it the way I do, but who in the world feels the same way I do about rogue, neglected trees dropping hundreds of gallons of pears, or pecan trees that just won't quit? This year, I'm going to keep it simple and feed their latent cynicism (they're very "progressive" and need cynicism in their lives.) This year I'm getting them demotivational calendars, and each one will be custom to my idea of the kind of person they are, and can potentially grow into. The site is here: Despair, Inc. - Demotivators®, The World’s Best Demotivational Posters
> This isn't an ad; I've never bought their stuff because I'm too thrifty, but this season I'd rather hand over fiat than nuts and fruits and chit.


If you are inclined to make new family members, I'd be pleased to eat pears and/or pecans. 

Just sayin... LOL


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## Danaus29 (Sep 12, 2005)

Mmmmm, pralines. I've never made them but I'm willing to try.


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## Mike in Ohio (Oct 29, 2002)

We aren't Christian so giving Christmas gifts isn't our thing. We give each other gifts because we want to. I bought my wife a lake because she likes to fish. Now we have 3.


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## kinderfeld (Jan 29, 2006)

Max Overhead said:


> I like to give the family things I make or harvest. Not sure they always appreciate it the way I do, but who in the world feels the same way I do about rogue, neglected trees dropping hundreds of gallons of pears, or pecan trees that just won't quit? This year, I'm going to keep it simple and feed their latent cynicism (they're very "progressive" and need cynicism in their lives.) This year I'm getting them demotivational calendars, and each one will be custom to my idea of the kind of person they are, and can potentially grow into. The site is here: Despair, Inc. - Demotivators®, The World’s Best Demotivational Posters
> This isn't an ad; I've never bought their stuff because I'm too thrifty, but this season I'd rather hand over fiat than nuts and fruits and chit.


These make great gifts, as well.😁









Humping Dogs: Funny Dog Calendar 2021: Lover Gag Gifts Men Women: Smeeks, Aaron: 9798555591494: Amazon.com: Books


Humping Dogs: Funny Dog Calendar 2021: Lover Gag Gifts Men Women [Smeeks, Aaron] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Humping Dogs: Funny Dog Calendar 2021: Lover Gag Gifts Men Women



www.amazon.com


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## 67drake (May 6, 2020)

shimalkharia said:


> I believe that the unwillingness of a man's partner to give gifts to his woman is a sign of stinginess.


Why would my partner give a gift to my woman?


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## GTX63 (Dec 13, 2016)

No habla zie Deutch!


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