# missplaced singletree ?



## rickfrosty (Jun 19, 2008)

Well, I know this might aught to be under 'singletree', BUT it's a survival-minded female partner I need, & a full-blooded one too. So please forgive ?
A woman who is a homesteader has 'one leg up' so to speak, but that's a long way from understanding the need to seriously prepare for an engineered economic melt-down . I've been saying "This won't be an L.L.Bean kind of societal breakdown !".
I've wasted incredible amounts of time emailing lots of women who aren't anywheres near me, or near being ready to up & move to a safer rural location. If I could just dash off a little note like so many do it would be different, but I always have to write a novel, you know, LOL.
Before this lonely period I became estranged from, then parted from my wife because she just couldn't believe this country could be laid low. She came from a country who's monetary system had collapsed too !
Anyway, mature guy here, still youngish & strong, prepared, have fully-owned land (& a plan) in very safe isolated area of the Northeast. Surrounded by thousands of acres of Paper Co. land open to the public - nothing but woods behind my present little mini-farm all the way up into Quebec.
Also own an even better set up 1/2 hr away & am in need of other partners too - have a lot of room. Maybe can sell something, maybe a long term share lease agreement - time's a wasting !


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## Illini (Apr 13, 2009)

Gee, Rick, that sounds so awesome. I can't believe you haven't had any takers yet.

I'm sure that I don't meet you're requirements, but, perhaps if you could define "full-blooded" for us, we'd know better your wants/needs.


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## mpillow (Jan 24, 2003)

My son wants to move up there to live too...he's only 16...loves the outdoors...my fear is he will be lonely....he's nagging us to buy Cochise's place! When I win the lottery! LOL Of course he's been friends with a pretty little girl that lives up there since they were both 3yo....

Good luck Rick!


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## rickfrosty (Jun 19, 2008)

mpillow said:


> My son wants to move up there to live too...he's only 16...loves the outdoors...my fear is he will be lonely....he's nagging us to buy Cochise's place! When I win the lottery! LOL Of course he's been friends with a pretty little girl that lives up there since they were both 3yo....
> 
> Good luck Rick!



Thank you M, My boss wanted to buy Cochise's farm, so had me call him.
1st he says "I only want to be called after dark to talk." & he wouldn't say what he wanted for it. So my boss went to FLA for the winter & forgot all about it ! What a [email protected] ! 
I really coulda sold it - (& then maybe run it for my boss ???).
When the poop hits the paddle there really are hardly any farms around there to grow food for anybody. Fortunately there's patches of big fields & lawns around.


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## rickfrosty (Jun 19, 2008)

Illini said:


> Gee, Rick, that sounds so awesome. I can't believe you haven't had any takers yet.
> 
> I'm sure that I don't meet you're requirements, but, perhaps if you could define "full-blooded" for us, we'd know better your wants/needs.


You might meet my needs ? By full-blooded I just mean a woman who is seriously ready to change to a prepared lifestyle, or who already walks the walk. One who realises that a house sometimes must be a storehouse & thus may not be a neat as would be nice. (This obviously is showing up as a problem, LOL.)
I have a female prepper friend who is still pretty close to a 'yuppie' (she was a lawyer) & I tell her "This isn't going to be an L.L. Bean type of societal breakdown !"


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## mpillow (Jan 24, 2003)

My husband's brother and some of his air traffic control friends were up to the 
Pines in Sept. and one of the guys BIL was with said he was buying a parcel from Cochise...Don't know how that all worked out but I'm sure it wasn't easy or maybe a dead deal....he's an odd duck to deal with! 

I could really make some food grow with his land...my goats like it up at camp...when there was just 2-3 I'd bring them along and keep them in the woodshed and milk in our kitchen!

The Powers have some good farm land too, and the old "blueberry" farm near the end of the road has potential too....the jack firs have taken over the blueberries though and the house is not sound. Nice view though!


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## Illini (Apr 13, 2009)

Well, Rick, I do apologize for having pre-judged what you meant by "full-blooded," and I'm glad that I was wrong.

My mom always said that there's someone for everyone. I hope that you find your perfect helpmeet.


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## AngieM2 (May 10, 2002)

this does seem to be a very important prep item for long term survival.

I hope that lady sees this and communicates with you, and it works out.


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## silverbackMP (Dec 4, 2005)

Have enought preps and a few months into a TEOTWAWKI scenerio and you might have a harem!!!

Just joking just joking--one is enough to drive you crazy let alone a gaggle of them!!!

Again just joking just joking

(All jokes have a grain of truth in them as my wife is fond of saying)


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## Ernie (Jul 22, 2007)

Three words, my friend:

Russian. Mail-Order. Bride.

Get a sturdy one with milking hands like a blacksmith.


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## Oldcountryboy (Feb 23, 2008)

Ernie said:


> Three words, my friend:
> 
> Russian. Mail-Order. Bride.
> 
> Get a sturdy one with milking hands like a blacksmith.


I don't know about this! I've been hearing a lot of horror stories about them mail order Russian brides. They mary you and a few months later they take you to the cleaners and move back to Russia with all your money.


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## navygirl (Oct 23, 2005)

Do they also have Russion mail-order grooms? Having one heckuva time locating a like-minded fella in my neck of the woods.... Beginning to wonder if they exist.
Luck to you finding your gal Rick.


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## unregistered29228 (Jan 9, 2008)

RickFrosty, I'm off the market, sadly enough for all the prepping guys out there. haha. But you sound like a great catch for someone who follows this forum and I wish you luck finding just the right "full blooded" woman. If I were a single woman I'd be looking for someone with your qualities. Don't give up!


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

Ernie said:


> Three words, my friend:
> 
> Russian. Mail-Order. Bride.
> 
> Get a sturdy one with milking hands like a blacksmith.


Dang it, Ernie! I just spit beer out my nose!


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

I'm looking for the same thing but they're either too old or too young. i dont want to rob the cradle but i dont want some one whose got one foot in the bone yard either.already had that. ~ Georgia.


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## Ernie (Jul 22, 2007)

Looks are overrated. Luckily that's my wife's opinion.


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## Kiamichi Kid (Apr 9, 2009)

Rick seein' as you will most like be overrun with applicants for this position....how do ya plan on handling the excess applicants? As there are plenty of placement opportunities for those willing to travel to this part of the USA...lol ( NOTE for the LADIES....SINGLE HOMESTEADER/PREPPER in The OZARKS...)


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## longrider (Jun 16, 2005)

shanzone2001 said:


> Dang it, Ernie! I just spit beer out my nose!


Ernie, You have a keen sense of priorities!:goodjob: That cracks me up.

I had a friend that met a nice gal from russia, she was an industrial engineer by trade. Spent a long weekend with them and the rest of the family. Turns out she eventually did leave the fella. But I have to say, HE was/is the problem, she stayed here and got a job. He continues to be a donkey.

I think he thought he was getting a subserviant maid. He was mistaken.


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## manygoatsnmore (Feb 12, 2005)

Rick, I hope you find your ideal helpmate. Signed, Single, 50 (okay, 51), into prepping entirely, but at the wrong end of the country and too old for you, lol.


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## oregon woodsmok (Dec 19, 2010)

[[[[......a house sometimes must be a storehouse & thus may not be a neat as would be nice. ...]]]]

For pete's sake, Rick, build some shelves. Even the worse collection of junk looks just fine if it is neatly stacked and dusted. Food and lamp oil and fishing hooks aren't junk, so they'll look very handsome, neatly organized in straight rows.

If that is you in your photo, you shouldn't have any problem. You're a handsome guy and Maine is a beautiful place to live. It's an excellent twofer deal.

I know a couple where she's a Russian bride and she can't even tell you if she likes her shoes she has on without saying that she'll have to check with her husband about it. Apparently, he really likes that king of the castle thing with a wife who can't think and is incapable of making a decision and won't move across the room without permission, but it would drive me blinking crazy.


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## rickfrosty (Jun 19, 2008)

manygoatsnmore said:


> Rick, I hope you find your ideal helpmate. Signed, Single, 50 (okay, 51), into prepping entirely, but at the wrong end of the country and too old for you, lol.


Not too old at all ? Can't help the distance though .


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## rickfrosty (Jun 19, 2008)

oregon woodsmok said:


> [[[[......a house sometimes must be a storehouse & thus may not be a neat as would be nice. ...]]]]
> 
> For pete's sake, Rick, build some shelves. Even the worse collection of junk looks just fine if it is neatly stacked and dusted. Food and lamp oil and fishing hooks aren't junk, so they'll look very handsome, neatly organized in straight rows.
> 
> ...


Okay, already been there w/Russian wife (& to Russia) - she was fine, just didn't love her & her daughter was wicked spoiled (though I did kinda love her).
Ex is now with a Psycologist in Phoenix & has a new word for me - delusional ! But we are still on good terms.
I think mostly these women are honestly looking for love & a better situation, not much different than any other dating.


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## patience (Dec 29, 2005)

rickfrosty said:


> You might meet my needs ? By full-blooded I just mean a woman who is seriously ready to change to a prepared lifestyle, or who already walks the walk. One who realises that a house sometimes must be a storehouse & thus may not be a neat as would be nice. (This obviously is showing up as a problem, LOL.)
> I have a female prepper friend who is still pretty close to a 'yuppie' (she was a lawyer) & I tell her "This isn't going to be an L.L. Bean type of societal breakdown !"


I was going to argue the point that preppers can still be neat and things pretty. (do you realize how many rolls of toilet paper can be hidden in the underside of a sofa?  ) Wall to wall built-in shelves with doors look nice and hide bunches.... but then I walked into my kitchen. January is my rotation month.. everything that expires this year gets taken out of long term and moved in there. Uh, yeah, I guess it does have to look like a storehouse sometimes. 

Hope you find what your looking for. Sorry, I'm on other side of the country and ink is still wet on the papers. iykwim


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## silverbackMP (Dec 4, 2005)

I wouldn't touch Russian witha a 10 ft pole--most of them are after a meal ticket only.

How about a Phillipina? Some of those are after a meal ticket only but there are some good ones as well.


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## EarthSheltered (May 9, 2008)

And here I thought one of the mottos of this forum was "If at all possible, Buy American!" 
;-)


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## Explorer (Dec 2, 2003)

EarthSheltered said:


> And here I thought one of the mottos of this forum was "If at all possible, Buy American!"
> ;-)


If one looks on a wife as a purchase, no wonder there are problems.


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## silverbackMP (Dec 4, 2005)

EarthSheltered said:


> And here I thought one of the mottos of this forum was "If at all possible, Buy American!"
> ;-)


Yeah, but they don't make them like they use to.

My wife (Korean AND NOT a mail order) realizes that meat doesn't come from foam trays. 

That is hard to find in the US.


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## anniew (Dec 12, 2002)

Rick, Wish I was 10 years younger or you 10 years older...have been wanting to move to Maine, the birthplace of my Dad.


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## rickfrosty (Jun 19, 2008)

anniew said:


> Rick, Wish I was 10 years younger or you 10 years older...have been wanting to move to Maine, the birthplace of my Dad.


 - where was your dad from ?


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## rickfrosty (Jun 19, 2008)

silverbackMP said:


> Yeah, but they don't make them like they use to.
> 
> My wife (Korean AND NOT a mail order) realizes that meat doesn't come from foam trays.
> 
> That is hard to find in the US.


 Amen man ! Now gals don't kill me, but SOME of y'all US women are angry - know what they don't want, but don't know what they DO want !
So many are completely caught up in the 'common wisdom' crappy 'Politically Correct' US culture . 
Sorry, I was once very proud to be an American - ancestors on the Mayflower, a Brig. Gen. in Am. Revolution, 1st head of Maine Militia during indian wars, etc, etc, you know - now I am sad for my country !
People who have married foreigners take offense to the 'mail-order bride' crassness - as I said, if you think about it, it's not much different from any domestic dating site.
For myself living up here in a nice safe corner of Maine (where most of the 1.3 mil. people live along the coast {below the 'Volvo Line'}) there aren't many women - even on some useless website like Match.com - there are only about 1,200 residents here, closest towns are 20 miles & one of them is same size (but '*******' {sorry}) & the other is only about 600 people .
For people my age any possible mates are tied to where they are & it's too far away anyway.
Gotta find someone who'd consider moving to me .
By the way, a friend married a Philippine woman & emigrated there. Every year or 2 he calls absolutely raving about it !
Me, I think that when the poop hits the paddle it's going to be worldwide & I wouldn't feel very safe in any other country I can think of.


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## manygoatsnmore (Feb 12, 2005)

Maybe you need to take the time to get to know the women and see if love follows, because it seems to me that when love enters in, willingness to move is more likely than not. Are YOU willing to move if you find someone you truly love and are soul-connected? That road runs both ways. 

So, let's hear the rest of your "sales pitch". Age, height, weight, # of times married, religious preference if any, any kids (and their ages, do they live with you), smoke, drink, any drug use or history of same, occupation, skill sets, especially those robust post-apocalyptic skill sets WIHH talks about, how much land and what you currently do with it, future plans with it, any mental health issues, how good are your teeth, etc, etc. I'm sure you'd be vetting any gal that was interested, so put it out there yourself. 

See, when you start talking about American women and Americans in general, the way you did in your last post, you start showing possible reasons why you are having a little trouble in the connection department, IMHO. I come from a long line of fine Americans, starting out not too far from yours, colonial militia, Revolutionary War continentals, and pioneers going west, and I'm still proud to be an American. Don't always agree with where our country's leadership is going or with self-entitled sheeple, but still proud to be an American...can't think of another country I'd rather live in.


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## anniew (Dec 12, 2002)

Rick, To answer your question, my Dad was raised in Dry Mills, below the "volvo line," although I don't think the line was visible back when he left there, probably late 1920's.


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## rickfrosty (Jun 19, 2008)

Kiamichi Kid said:


> Rick seein' as you will most like be overrun with applicants for this position....how do ya plan on handling the excess applicants? As there are plenty of placement opportunities for those willing to travel to this part of the USA...lol ( NOTE for the LADIES....SINGLE HOMESTEADER/PREPPER in The OZARKS...)


Ha, ha, good effort man , but your part about "willing to travel" at this point in time seems to be the hang up. (Well, one hang up, in my case.)
I hope all the many (yeah, right !) gals who reply will do so via PM so's y'all brother sharks won't get at em, LOL !!!


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## Ardie/WI (May 10, 2002)

shanzone2001 said:


> Dang it, Ernie! I just spit beer out my nose!


You too!??


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## sherry in Maine (Nov 22, 2007)

Good luck Rick! 
I have a similar outlook as you; but as you said, many of us are too far away (that and other 'issues' going on as well . . . .)
I am envious of all that land in Maine . . . . .

Sherry


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## unregistered29228 (Jan 9, 2008)

RickFrosty, if you're serious about finding a prepping type woman, maybe place an ad in BackWoodsHome magazine? I see ads in there every month, people looking for like minded friends or mates.


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## rickfrosty (Jun 19, 2008)

manygoatsnmore said:


> Maybe you need to take the time to get to know the women and see if love follows, because it seems to me that when love enters in, willingness to move is more likely than not. Are YOU willing to move if you find someone you truly love and are soul-connected? That road runs both ways.
> 
> So, let's hear the rest of your "sales pitch". Age, height, weight, # of times married, religious preference if any, any kids (and their ages, do they live with you), smoke, drink, any drug use or history of same, occupation, skill sets, especially those robust post-apocalyptic skill sets WIHH talks about, how much land and what you currently do with it, future plans with it, any mental health issues, how good are your teeth, etc, etc. I'm sure you'd be vetting any gal that was interested, so put it out there yourself.
> 
> See, when you start talking about American women and Americans in general, the way you did in your last post, you start showing possible reasons why you are having a little trouble in the connection department, IMHO. I come from a long line of fine Americans, starting out not too far from yours, colonial militia, Revolutionary War continentals, and pioneers going west, and I'm still proud to be an American. Don't always agree with where our country's leadership is going or with self-entitled sheeple, but still proud to be an American...can't think of another country I'd rather live in.


Oh, oh, sounds like I shoved my foot in my mouth again ?!? (once in awhile I can at least get a gal to step up & correct me, LOL.)
What you've said is good stuff, let me address it as it came at me :
Well, I guess I should state more clearly "Looking for at least the remote possibility that ya might be able to re-locate." Not many in my mature age group are able to, & no it would be unlikely that I could relocate except from my present only partially developed mini-farm of 6.3 acres at the secluded edge of a tiny resort village to a better chance nearby where I own or have the use of about 23 acres (& a barn !) with 2 houses & plans for an earth-sheltered cozy, efficient home that can serve as the 2 wk. shelter needed in case any errant nuc. fallout drifts over. Sorry, I know I use run-on sentences.
I put my life's work into real estate (yeah, yeah, I knew it couldn't keep going up, but the only investment this carpenter/realtor knew) and it'd be hard to even dump it now (I've been trying w/one 5 bdrm. place on huge near-wilderness lake nearby)(even this place could house a lot of preppers who wanted to see the area, maybe move up to help in a communal (excuse that word?) effort at survival) - there's a big side yard w/good soil for a garden & plenty of room to raise bunnies in the basement ?
So, let's see, where were we ?
"Age, height, weight, # of times married, religious preference if any, any kids (and their ages, do they live with you), smoke, drink, any drug use or history of same, occupation, skill sets, especially those robust post-apocalyptic skill sets WIHH talks about, how much land and what you currently do with it, future plans with it, any mental health issues, how good are your teeth, etc, etc."
You're a pistol, aren't you ??
I'm late 50's (ok very), a hair under 6 ft., weigh about 180 (yeah, a belly, but can do a few more leg lifts & crunches), married once for nearly 10 years late in life (a mistake, but it coulda been worse - you learn from everything in life), never 'dated' much, just used to move 'em in w/me if they were of a mind to (also not my best plan ?), so lived w/a few gals over the years, one off & on for 13 or so - we are still somewhat friends, - I started life being sent to a protestant church, fell away early, then in early adulthood read many religious tomes on different ways of belief, took initiation from an Indian guru in the mental 'Raja' yoga at 22 yrs. in the bowels of NYC. 
I read the entire bible word for word, then read the new testaments over again - now I wouldn't mind reading the Calvinist Bible, but am I a Christian, heck I don't know ? I also read "The Essene Gospel of Christ" & see veiled (& not so veiled) references to the yoga techniques in Jesus's teachings.
I kinda believe the Man existed & that perhaps he was able to tune into something that I do believe exists inside human BEINGS & I'm sorry he was killed for living his truths. Hope y'all born again types won't send me to hell for all this ? I love ya ?
Soooo, 'manygoats' - are ya still listening ? Teach you to give me a chance to expound !
I have a daughter who is 36 & presented me w/a delightful grandson last March . You are correct, I was not married to her certifiably crazy, awfull mother. I paid plenty from the time my daughter was born, but absolutely couldn't have much to do w/raising her.
I don't smoke anything, but that's not to say I never did. I have one drink of alchohol every other day or so, sometimes everyday. I had sort of gotten out of the habit, but a doctor told me I should drink a little bit to bring up my 'good' cholesteral ??
I got on the 'dean's list' in college & then quit to search for adventure (& to cherchez la femme). I rode my thumb all over the continent up & down, back & forth, as well as driving same too a few times. Grew up in a TINY Maine frontier village, then lived in Portland, ME (biggest town here at 67k), Boston, Denver, & many winters in Ft. Lauderdale subcontracting interior finish carpentry. I had gone to a carpentry school along the way.
Always put myself in a situation to earn well as a carpenter & small builder, used to work on my own many real estate projects during my summers in ME & now have a small side-income from R E investments as I ride out the last of a 10 yr. career selling R E - scraping together as many 'crap-dollars' as I can & looking forward to when I can work on my farm/retreat projects more.
I have done all carpentry, still have the tools & equipment & an excavator, which should prove immensely helpfull. I have also dug many wells/waterlines, put in 10 septic systems, can do driveways, clear fields, even plow fields (have plows), have 2 roto-tillers & a small self-powered sicklebar hay mower.
Have been studyin on tractors a long time, here ya can get good ones all day long for $2 - $3,000, but I would like to have ground-driven implements just in case ?? What are your thoughts on this ?
So far only have hens & rabbits, want bees, goats, pigs, maybe more, but need to be ready - right now I burn a LOT of time & effort (& limited brain-power, LOL) searching for someone to love & partner with.
What (or who) is WIHH ?
My mental health is fair to middlin' for an old cat who's banged around this crazy world & read way too many books. And my teeth are strong enough to eat nails .
I've got to stop for now, you see I can't just dash off a note & if this won't send I'll be mad. 
By the way I DO love America, I was raised that way, but all the more sad for it's present & long corrupted state. And I may have a different perspective on American women than you do - I never said I was well-versed in the ways of women. But it has been one of my learning projects all my life to correct that - so teach me Mamma !


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## caroline (Sep 29, 2009)

never 'dated' much, just used to move 'em in w/me if they were of a mind to (also not my best plan ?), so lived w/a few gals over the years, one off & on for 13 or so - we are still somewhat friends

This really sounds as if you are talking about cattle of some sort.....not a real thinking, feeling person; a woman!

No matter what the circumstance, a woman does not want to feel disposable.

Good luck.


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## rickfrosty (Jun 19, 2008)

caroline said:


> never 'dated' much, just used to move 'em in w/me if they were of a mind to (also not my best plan ?), so lived w/a few gals over the years, one off & on for 13 or so - we are still somewhat friends
> 
> This really sounds as if you are talking about cattle of some sort.....not a real thinking, feeling person; a woman!
> 
> ...


Certainly don't think of women as cattle, that's a reach Carly, no, I won't say more.


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## EarthSheltered (May 9, 2008)

Explorer said:


> If one looks on a wife as a purchase, no wonder there are problems.


*Sigh* You need to get a sense of humor. You did notice the Smiley face at the end, right? 

RickFrosty-I hear this site is pretty good, and its free IIRC
http://www.plentyoffish.com


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## rickfrosty (Jun 19, 2008)

EarthSheltered said:


> *Sigh* RickFrosty-I hear this site is pretty good, and its free IIRC
> http://www.plentyoffish.com[/
> 
> Yeah, been there (am there), but no one is close physically or in mindset . That's why I posted here & watch 'singletree', but thank you just the same.


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## caroline (Sep 29, 2009)

rickfrosty said:


> Certainly don't think of women as cattle, that's a reach Carly, no, I won't say more.


Say anything you want. Go for it. I know what it is.:hysterical:


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## Oldcountryboy (Feb 23, 2008)

Rickfrosty, just to let you know, true love has been found on this website before. Two of our members here, met here, started communicating with each other, and have been married now for maybe close to 10 years now. 

Those two members are Cabinfever & Wind in her hair. 

So if you stick around long enough there just might be a member here that is just the right person for you. I know there's been several women I would have taken up with had I been a single man and was looking. Don't know what they looked like, but they had desires to live in the country and be around farm and garden life. Can't say that for my wife.


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## Marilyn (Aug 2, 2006)

Good luck, Rick. I've read every post and I think that you and navygirl should explore the possibilities...

Whatever the results, I hope that you come back and post often, I like listening to you.


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## manygoatsnmore (Feb 12, 2005)

Nice post, Rick.  Nice to get to know you a bit. Yup, I was listenin' - all the way through. It sounds like you've had an interesting life and have done quite a variety of things. I envy you being able to do the carpentry - I do a bit, but I'm very much an amateur. I always wanted a tractor, but Dad was of the opinion that the boys ran tractors and the girls cooked and canned. I STILL don't know how to drive a tractor, but someday, I'll get my 8N! 

BTW, WIHH is Wind In Her Hair, that met and married Cabin Fever here on HT (before my time). Check out her sig line and you'll see what I meant. 

I don't know about a pistol, maybe I'm more of a pop-gun? :shrug: 

Are your daughter and grandson close by to you? I have 4 of the lil' ankle biters (okay, the grands have mostly outgrown the ankle biting stage), and have so much fun with them. My 4 kids are 31 down to 19, grands from 6 down to 4. One of my ds's is getting married in March, to a gal that has a daughter, so that's my 4th grand. 

So those teeth, strong enough to eat nails - 16d or finger, lol? :hysterical:


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## ChristyACB (Apr 10, 2008)

manygoatsnmore said:


> Nice post, Rick.  Nice to get to know you a bit. Yup, I was listenin' - all the way through. It sounds like you've had an interesting life and have done quite a variety of things. I envy you being able to do the carpentry - I do a bit, but I'm very much an amateur. I always wanted a tractor, but Dad was of the opinion that the boys ran tractors and the girls cooked and canned. I STILL don't know how to drive a tractor, but someday, I'll get my 8N!
> 
> BTW, WIHH is Wind In Her Hair, that met and married Cabin Fever here on HT (before my time). Check out her sig line and you'll see what I meant.
> 
> ...


You're such a hoot! If I was a guy, I'd grab you up! (Okay, that sounded weird, but you know what I mean, I hope.) That was totally a hint for Rick.


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## rickfrosty (Jun 19, 2008)

manygoatsnmore said:


> Nice post, Rick.  Nice to get to know you a bit. Yup, I was listenin' - all the way through. It sounds like you've had an interesting life and have done quite a variety of things. I envy you being able to do the carpentry - I do a bit, but I'm very much an amateur. I always wanted a tractor, but Dad was of the opinion that the boys ran tractors and the girls cooked and canned. I STILL don't know how to drive a tractor, but someday, I'll get my 8N!
> 
> BTW, WIHH is Wind In Her Hair, that met and married Cabin Fever here on HT (before my time). Check out her sig line and you'll see what I meant.
> 
> ...


Thank you for reading about my checkered past, just can't write anything short ?
No, my daughter & Grandson are in southern VT - we get together once a year or so so far. With all the traveling I used to do, I don't like to drive very far anymore.


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## ChristyACB (Apr 10, 2008)

I'm about to write a book here so I'll apologize ahead of time. Everyone not interested in a bit of psych can just pass by this series of answers.

Rick - I know, in real life, an interesting bunch of folks. Several guys who are in the range of prepper to full out survivalist and several women like that as well. A couple each of those are in couples with each other, two more have a spouse that isn't into it and the rest are single and looking. I've had a few years to really observe them and I think I might be able to shed a little light on some issues. (I hate to sound like I was examining my friends like bugs under a microscope, but I tend to do that. I love matching human behavior to biological norms and vice versa. I'm pretty good at it. It's no fun to try to lie to me to my face. Ask the kids or those that work for me.)

Anyway. Rick, part of what you are likely experiencing is an essential difference between male and female thinking patterns. Also...and others here have caught onto it but haven't perhaps explained it well...you're also missing a key element to your desired end; that of a thinking being who is NOT involved in your paradigm.

We often think that we can just find the person that will fit into our paradigm if we look hard enough. It is sort of like trying to find a person who understands every single word and element of our personal religious paradigm and absolutely agrees with it and completely understands it the same way you do. It is a practical impossibility. What you find instead, if I continue with the religion example, is a person who in general agrees with your elements and has a basic understanding that matches your own but who compromises (as you do) to being swayed on specific items and meanings. We do it unconsciously and most people will deny that such happens, but it is part and parcel of how humans have managed to live together while remaining a sentient species. 

The only times in which we don't see this unconscious compromise are those in which we can sense wrongness and even danger. We most often see this in families in which there is an overpowering and absolutely controlling adult who controls the other adult and offspring to such an extent that it is akin to brainwashing. This doesn't sound like a pleasant life for the healthy minded person so it stands to reason that the human tendency for unconscious compromise is a desired end for a happy life.

With me so far?

When you don't meet and get to know a person in real life, your ability to perform actual unconscious compromise...something we often think of as the melding of a couple....is severely limited. Instead, we make conscious compromise with an imperfect intention to compromise. It is imperfect because the intent is to gain the relationship rather than an emotionally attached desire to keep a developed relationship.

Women will do this far more than men and will often actually believe it and attempt to comply, but will usually fail. Males do it less often and generally do it less well and for less time. In the end, all that illustrates is something we all know who've seen online relationships....what you think you see and hear isn't what you're likely to get...in the long term.

So, if you want any advice at all, this would be my first bit: Understand that finding a mentally identical pattern is highly unlikely and that compromise is something best done without too much conscious thought but as a result of emotional attachment.


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## ChristyACB (Apr 10, 2008)

Ready for round two? Why are so many single preppers likely to stay single?

Male and female preppers are different in the most basic of ways. They can and do absolutely form wonderful partnerships and marriages, as evidenced on HST and in real life, but their essential viewpoints come from very different biological and sociologically influenced bases. Those compliment each other as long as they are both allowed to manifest in productive ways.

What is difficult in that is the actual forming of a relationship between two, already established, preppers. They've haven't made those unconscious compromises or formed new ideas that enhance their single viewpoint over time. The example of WIHH and Cabin Fever is a very good one. They have so very much in common that it is startling. But notice that they aren't, in any way, so absolutely focused on one specific facet of a full life that it is their single point of reference. They are (and pardon me for talking about you all!) very full range people with a variety of common interests and common goals such that their natural chemistry had room to grow. When you start to narrow that focus to fewer and fewer areas of life, there is less room for that before the inherent conflict of "salesmanship" vs "buyer beware" begins. 

I see examples of this all the time in real life and it can be absolutely hilarious or really sad, depending on the situation. One of the fellows that is single, a total prepper with a leaning towards isolationist survivalism and is actively seeking his life partner constantly messes up in the most rudimentary of ways. He thinks he is compromising but his agenda is extraordinarily well developed and specific. Sometimes the other ladies and I just have to sit back and watch the show and shake our heads at his cluelessness. Now, don't get me wrong. We're not cruel and I think every single one of us has tried time and again to help him but he can't actually see the problem so he is doomed to continue to repeat it.

Based on some of your responses I can give a rudimentary guess that you might be a little bit like him in some ways. His basic stats are that he has a small spread, but much further south in northern NC that is pretty far from town. It has water, great trees, a so-so house and a series of workshops to make the handy man drool. He does have a job and plenty of savings and he is a prepper like I've never seen. He literally has enough TP to last the rest of this life. He needs a big warehouse but instead has it spread throughout his shops, outbuildings and house. I've been in his house and that isn't a home, it's a trucking staging area and it is very uncomfortable to be there. A couple of the other ladies and I all got the same first impression from it: oh, here's some future episode of hoarders for sure. (And no, I was never a candidate at all. We're friends.)

He is very good looking though in a mountain man sort of way. Age appropriate for most ladies between 30 and 40 and he cleans up well. In short, you'd think there would be hoards of women lining up. And you'd be right, they are. They are lining up just as fast to get away too, though.

He is very narrow in his expectations and goals and ideals. One of the girls he brought around for a few weeks was a great one as far as I was concerned. We all really liked her and she was smart as a whip. Quick witted, funny, enterprising, energetic and attractive in a cute and sporty way. Great hair too. Anyway, the last time I saw her, she let us know that she had really enjoyed meeting us and would miss developing some great friendships because she thought they would have been the real kind. I asked why she was going to stop dating our clueless friend and she said (I might be paraphrasing but I'll use quotes), "He doesn't need me or any woman or person. He needs a female form that will occupy the slot he's carved out of his dream for her to fit in."

That is pretty profound and probably the most accurate assessment I've seen from one of his candidates. I can tell you that he will never, ever find the "partner" he dreams of. Why? Because when he thinks about the person who will be that partner he doesn't just dream of the person, he dreams of how that person will be in situtations. He's mapped out in his mind how she'll respond to him in every way. That is a computer or a slave, not a person.

Back to you: Any woman that is out there that is strong enough to already have started being a prepper while single has already mapped out her own responses. She isn't an empty shell waiting to be filled. She's already considered how to take care of herself. She's made plans, established a plan to obtain a base or maybe she is already living at that base. She doesn't *need* you. She wants a partner too. Big huge honking difference. When you're looking for and evaluating women to fit your want of a partner, you have to realize she is doing the same to you. If your first answer is no, or you say yes when it's clear that you mean no, to critical elements of her plans, then she'll walk and write you off. 

She may continue with the long distance stuff for a while, maybe even a visit, but I absolutely guarantee that she is doing it to see how firm your no is rather than because of any intent to toss her whole life and self built imagined future to fit into whatever yours is for her.


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## ChristyACB (Apr 10, 2008)

Round Three: Understanding the female thinking pattern based on biology and why that is working against you.

You've stated you're in Maine and that is your base and that is where you want to be. She relocates..period. You're in the same boat as the single preppers in Alaska, Northern Montana and other classically frigid climes. Nature is against you when it comes to women.

There are, absolutely, women who grow up to maturity in those areas and can't imagine living anywhere else. There are women who move there and feel there is no better place, of course. Note how many of them there are?

Female biology is linked to options for retreat, survival after attrition and compensation for restricted capability. That is well known and established over and over by science. It's something we can't get away from unless we make real effort to but it is so valuable that who would want to?

Let me give you another example though I can't remember which study it was and I don't want to search the web endlessly to find the link. Basically a series of experiments on view were performed that worked at a basic, source level. One of the experiments involved free cocoa, tea and coffee (I think there might have been bakery goods too but I can't be sure). A shop was set up with a person out front wearing a sandwich board sign. They were giving away a free cup of cocoa, tea or coffee (maybe a danish, but again, I can't be sure) to everyone who came in for their grand opening. 

The goal was to get the people out of the shop before 30 seconds had passed and to occupy their attention for the transaction with minimal waiting time. The beverages were being made at one end of the counter and trays for giving it out were on a counter near the door. The condiments were outside the shop in the exit vestibule and not facing the store. As each person left the exit vestibule they were told this was an experiment and asked to give a 5 minute answer to a couple of questions.

The results of such a strange experiment? They were asked to draw what they remembered of the inside of the store layout and asked how many workers were in the shop and write whatever detail stood out most in the mind from the store. Women consistently remembered how many workers were there and drew a more complete outline of the interior. Males consistently remembered spatial relationships between the elements in the store that they could remember, though the entirety of the store they did not and also did less well on the number of workers. In terms of detail remembered most there was lots of range but women more often remembered human related elements (like the color of the uniforms) or entry and exits while males most often remembered impersonal items like how many shelves were in the displays or the number of tables OR commented on a specific persons characteristics.

How does this relate to you finding a woman? It shows how inherently different initial contacts are between males and females in terms of perception. This experiment was performed in many ways with many different stimuli but the conclusions were pretty spot on with what most of us intuitively know: women pay more attention to safety and whole people while males pay more attention to spatial relationships and evaluating specific individuals as potential predators, potential prey or competition. 

That essential difference often makes it very hard to establish a relationship, particularly long distance, when such a specific set of requirements and goals is in place in an environment in which their natural inclinations can't be satisfied. While I haven't yet figured out a way to get a study like this done, I've done enough observation and talking to realize how some of this comes into play with female preppers. Not so much female survivalists because I don't know any hardcore female survivalists. Even the ones married to survivalists are really the prepper half of the team. Female preppers may not be able to articulate it well, but many focus on their ability to continue in the face of loss of human support, many will trade having to care for another person in such a time rather than lose human mental and emotional support and most consider carefully ability vice need and you'll find a whole lot of inventive ways to get stuff done in a female prepper household. Brute force isn't generally the norm, rather it is clever methods of achieving the same goal. Female preppers seem to be more likely to have a bolt hole but are, I think, in general far more viscious when dependent children may be threatened. They think of very long term options far more often as I've observed.

Maine is cold...most people don't know how lovely some parts of Maine are near the coast. It has a shorter growing season and a far greater requirement for heating during a longer period of time. It is harder to bolt from your base for much of the year without significant risk of death and it is a higher labor requirement for the same amount of gain in terms of gardening, farming or temperature control. Any seasoned female prepper is going to be thinking long term and what happens when you inevitably grow weak or die.

A house is a home, not a warehouse. This one is obvious and needs no extended explanation. Some of the responses so far should be big giant clues to you here. Advanced female preppers are certainly no strangers to working around boxes in the living room sometimes, but rarely do you find one that just chooses to live that way. Shelves, creative storage and an ongoing attempt at organization is what you'll find most often. Often the level of cleanliness we can live with is reflected in how many preps lay around..male and female. Sure, there are more slovenly women than I can shake a stick at, but do you want them in your house? 

Territory. Bottom line is that you are asking a person to give up their territory to go into yours. Whether we realize it consciously or not, that is a power shift of the most basic kind. Humans (and some primates) have an exceptionally hard time venturing into another's territory as a "guest". Humans do very well entering new territory as a team with a view to "conquering" the territory for themselves. And I don't mean guns and ammo, I mean deciding together as a team to pick up, move to a new place and build a life. For humans, that fulfills the same role as conquering at the individual and small group level. Your brains won't know the difference. 

This is important, Rick: "Guest" status is also instinctive and those who overcome that feeling or who have ill-developed colony skills are often considered a nuisance, disrespectful or unlikeable. Many things fall into guest status. Moving into another person's territory is the ultimate in guest status because your lines of retreat are also restricted most of the time, therefore it is one of the most vulnerable positions a female can put herself into. To do so actively contradicts all of her main biolgically based social behaviors at the highest level. Therefore, the trade off has to be very, very compelling. She also has to have at least some sense that she will regain those things in a near future. Your situation does not represent that as written for the reasons I've gone over so far.

And finally, family first! Females are the glue that holds families emotionally bonded in a traditional sense. The thousand small things that create emotional bonds are the forte of women. Males are incredibly successful at creating "holding" bonds but those do not require reinforcement emotionally as they are physically based bonds. It works well for them with each other (adult male peers) and meets their deeper needs with the rest of humanity. It isn't better, just different. Any woman who is age appropriate to you is certain to have history since she didn't just pop out of a wormhole. She is likely to have children, but some won't. She may have other family...which she might love or hate or be responsible for or any combination thereof. She'll likely have friends, co-workers, a church (or whatever else), animals, charity work. What she will for sure have is a system of operations that she has worked out and that she will need to re-work. That represents a loss of safety too. Moving to Maine may mean a loss of all those things or a fundamental change in how much of that family she gets to be with.


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## ChristyACB (Apr 10, 2008)

Last one for now: What I would recommend or "How to Get a Prepper Girl and Like It".

-Understand Female Personality Types and choose your poison: For male preppers you really have just a few main categories for a first run. 1) Advanced Female Prepper: She will have just as many plans as you and she's far less likely to pick up and move to a place that balances out as "less" than what she already has or is working toward. 2) Just Bought The Truck Prepper: This is the one who has either just started to think of prepping, whose been swayed by something she heard or read and hasn't started or who has been sold on the idea by you. The question you, as an advanced prepper with a lifeplan, must consider most carefully is, Why? Why has she changed? What in her situation has allowed her to alter her life views to such an extent? Is it desperation? Is it simply a fad that will change to Gucci handbags next year? Is it a trauma? I would say that you have the most potential to find someone who will buy into your paradigm, hook, line and sinker, within this group. However, why she buys in might make it not such a good deal for you in the long run. 3) Disinterested - You see this everywhere and even on HST you see posts from folks who are trying to get their spouse on board with their prepping. It may be that you find a great woman who likes the idea of Maine, but could care less about your prepping. She'll not like living in a warehouse and will expect conversation topics and mutual interests beyond canned goods and zombie shooting.

-Strong vs Strong. There are many kinds of strength and I caught from one of your posts and some of the responses that there may be a small dichotomy on the meaning of strength going on. A woman that passionately defends her stand (whether moral, political or whatever) in the face of opposition is strong. A woman that passionately defends the stand of someone else because they've told her that is what she believes in is not. 

Some women are sock puppets with heartbeats and that is a shame. Women who parrot so well that they believe it themselves do exist and males that mistake that for strength because it reinforces their own views aren't uncommon. I've heard it called the Barbarian or Caveman effect but I think that is uneccessarily derogatory. It is also a symptom fairly low on the mysogyny scale but I don't think it really belongs there. I think it exists in both men AND women and is related more to self-centeredness than to any actual disfunction with regard to the opposite sex. 

While you proudly stated your long history in this country and the contributions your family made, I don't think you thought about the fact that there were women there too. I also come from a family that came here in 1632, fought (and led) in all the wars and lived, unfortunately, in one of the prime raiding target zones for the Union army. There wasn't a man to be found but strangely enough a great many Union soldiers who went "raiding" for supplies never came back. Coincidentally, a good many skeletons of unknown origin were found in one of our swampy areas many, many years later. Probably just a native burial ground or one of our early graveyards...wouldn't you say?

For every man that went fighting and worried about his brothers in arms and getting his own buttocks shot off, there was a group of women and children and elderly that had to fight without a general and defend the indefensible and smile graciously when the "fighting hero" returned while pretending all was fine. And now, we women also go and fight and try to keep from getting stabbed or raped when we visit a toilet tent in a place where we're "helping" like Haiti. 

Strength has nothing to do with PC'ness. But any woman that is already a prepper on her own account and not through some other influence is also probably a realist and fairly strong. She's not going to take it lightly when the platitudes start rolling. Her opinion is just a valid as yours and she may even be smarter. Why this is important is because you will absolutely alienate a large percentage of what is likely your most desirable candidates with that attitude inside you. I'm not talking about patronizing while you think something different but an actual full realization that women are entirely capable and that differences between males and females, while profound, are not ones of capability, but specialty. You can rejoice in the ability to leverage those specialties to your benefit and get a good one, or patronize and get one with a poor self worth.

-Logically examine your life goals. It might help to simply fully realize that you can't have everything you want exactly how you want it, but what you find, you can decide to want. Make a list of all your big goals or requirements for life (no details but broad strokes) such as life partner, home I can defend, a years worth of food, the ability to garden..whatever. Include only those details that are so outstandingly important that they simply require their own slot...for example if you have an phobia of women with red hair, list it.

Then decide in which order you require them and do it honestly and at the extreme level. If you have to choose between a life partner (knowing you'll never have one) and never again moving (and knowing you never will) which would you choose? It is extreme but it does help to "settle" how and why you compromise from your subconscious to your conscious. Take a couple of days and look at it over and over. Think carefully of your answers and why you answered that way. Try to bring up the emotion associated with the results of any of those choices in the future. It may sound stupid but it is actually a really helpful exercise for many people who find themselves with conflicting wants and needs.

Let's assume that you say, "Having a Life Partner I Can Be Happy With" is your number one choice (otherwise this whole series of posts is moot, right?). Then you have to stack yourself with what it is that you need...not what you want...what you need for that to happen. Intelligence? Beauty? Work Ethic? Energy? Try to keep it as basic levels rather than learned skills since one can easily change while the other is notoriously difficult to change. Then list out what you have to offer at that same basic level...and be honest. Compare the lists...are you looking for something not comparable to you? 

Then focus on looking for that person. Leave aside the rest of your agenda and find the person. Invest yourself in that person and work so that both of you develop an emotional attachment that allows the "team conquer" dynamic to develop rather than the "guest in someone's territory" dynamic for either one of you. Once you have "team conquer" you'll see your way so much clearer and so will she. Compromise will become natural, or at least less painful, and shared compromise will become and investment.

You might get a great suprise. Take on some new thoughts and you might just find a fabulous woman with a great spread and fully functioning orchard, garden, animals or whatever in a place that is perfect and won't be able to pack fast enough. Or you may find that woman and she's worried about water tables where she is at and happy to move north. You just have to be open to the concept of happiness "our way" rather than happiness "my way".

Sorry for the book! I really do like to help people understand women...especially women preppers, because we are such a unique breed.


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## caroline (Sep 29, 2009)

Whew!!

All that she said. 

:bow:


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## Shrarvrs88 (May 8, 2010)

Wow, you explained even better than I know, and I am a woman myself! Great read! Do you work with people in psycology at all? You should.


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## moldy (Mar 5, 2004)

Just a thought... rancher and I met on farmersonly.com. While I had seen him "around' on HT, I didn't know marital status or much of anything else, as he mostly posted on the cattle and HS boards.


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## manygoatsnmore (Feb 12, 2005)

Excellent posts, Christie! Yes, Rick, all that she said. A lot of us women have family where we are. For example, nearly EVERYONE in my immediate and extended family still lives in the same county, much less state. Oh, there are a couple that moved to the dry side of the state, but most are here locally. Makes for strong family bonds. Those grandkids are going to grow up way too fast, and I don't want to miss it. No way I'm going to move to the other end of the country and not see them, but maybe once or twice a year on a flying visit.

You talk about having about 6 1/2 acres in development, with access to another place as well. Well, I have my 6 1/2 acres here, with house, barn, chicken coop, garden and a great start to an orchard. My growing season is pretty long, expecially compared to Maine, and winters are more mild. Can't remember the last time it was below zero here, although we did come close last year. It does rain a lot, but today is a beautiful, sunny day that helps get through the drizzle. We also get a 2-3 month drought every year, which is something few people outside the area realize. From about July 5th to mid October, we usually have very dry weather, and low humidity. Topping 100 for more than a few days a summer is rare, stretches of 90's are occasional, and 80's are common. I live in Mt St Helen's front yard, and it's only 1.5 hrs to the ocean. We have lakes, great fishing, elk and deer are abundant (to the point of being pests), rivers, forests, great backpacking and hiking opportunities. Lots of outdoor activities to chose from. I have a woodlot that should keep me in firewood for the rest of my life, and I have a clearcut behind my place where I harvest trash wood to burn. I am an RN and have a great job at the local hospital (30 miles away), with great co-workers, some of whom are also preppers. I've been there for over 8 years and it's "home". My best friend (known her since kindergarten) lives in the next county and works for the library system there (I have a card), so I get first dibs on upcoming books she knows I'd like (puts them on my hold list for me). Who else would I play Scrabble with? My family won't play with me anymore - I'm the big reader in the family (although they're no slouches), and I can outspell them. I have a high IQ, and some guys are very threatened by that - my ex husband was. I work with the community fair and have done for more than 10 years. I'm the superintendent of the garden dept, and really enjoy making it the best dept in the fair. After having kids in 4-H for many years, I pretty much know everyone at the fair, and am related to a lot of them, lol. I have weapons, food, and other preps, that would cost a fortune to move, and I know my neighbors well enough to know who would stand together if tshtf. So, I have pretty much everything I could ask for right here. Why would I want to pick up and move?

I'm not alone. there are many other single women who prep and many of us have similar set-ups that we don't want to leave. You may need to be a little more flexible in whether or not YOU would consider relocating. 

Also, maybe you're just trying too hard. It always seems to me that when you are NOT looking, that's when you find....whatever or whoever you are looking for. Like when I need a tool and I can't find it anywhere, even when I _know_ I just saw it. Figure out another way to do the job or no longer need the tool for some reason, and there that tool is, in plain sight. Now, I'm not trying to compare a life mate to a tool, just using it as an analogy. Love may just pop into your life when you stop searching so hard for it. Work on your projects and be patient. And go read Christie's posts AGAIN!!!


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## mpillow (Jan 24, 2003)

Maine can be cold...for short periods of time...it can be a struggle....but I LOVE the challenge....I've had to push myself this week out of my comfy box...and I am doing it...I even braved Walmart today! LOL What was I thinking letting the goats breed early? 

I was born and raised here....I can tell you I have little in common with people from the Southern part of the state...our camp is up by Rick...its gorgeous country as wild as parts of Alaska (I've been there) but yeah it takes a strong person male or female to live with what mother nature can dish out. Lots have mailbox money coming in as Texican says...

The mosquitoes at camp are worse than when I was in AK....so winter is enjoyable in that respect.

There are some super nice give you the shirt off their back people up there, complete with strong minds, wills, and opinions....RESPECT is a good thing!

Wow Christy! Do you mind if I print off your posts for my friends and my teenage children?....its a beautiful explanation! Thank you!


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## ChristyACB (Apr 10, 2008)

Thanks for the nice responses and feel free to print-repost or use for TP..whatever you like. Just use my name if you re-post somewhere if you would. I didn't bother to copyright or anything like that.


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## mpillow (Jan 24, 2003)

Thanks!

Teaching kids about relationships is so often missed these days....my poor kids are stuck with me and every resource I can find to help them make healthy choices in life! 

Lessons for young and old, methinks!


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## navygirl (Oct 23, 2005)

Wow Christy! Love your posts! You put into words all the things I can't explain about myself. Thank you so much!


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## AngieM2 (May 10, 2002)

Christy - I had to wait until tonight to really read your "book". All the guys out looking should read it - if they are serious.

It's going to be lifted and put in the Vault. Outstanding!

Thanks for thinking it out and posting it.


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## rickfrosty (Jun 19, 2008)

ChristyACB said:


> I'm about to write a book here so I'll apologize ahead of time. Everyone not interested in a bit of psych can just pass by this series of answers.
> 
> Rick - I know, in real life, an interesting bunch of folks. Several guys who are in the range of prepper to full out survivalist and several women like that as well. A couple each of those are in couples with each other, two more have a spouse that isn't into it and the rest are single and looking. I've had a few years to really observe them and I think I might be able to shed a little light on some issues. (I hate to sound like I was examining my friends like bugs under a microscope, but I tend to do that. I love matching human behavior to biological norms and vice versa. I'm pretty good at it. It's no fun to try to lie to me to my face. Ask the kids or those that work for me.)
> 
> ...


 Sorry I don't get on here all the time, tho' it is getting to be habit forming.
There was actually work to do in the office today - a good thing.
Soooo - I guess I'm following, but I might ought to read again (a couple times) what you've kindly taken the time to write.
Let me move on to next installment - - (heaven forbid I ever lie to HER) !!


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## rickfrosty (Jun 19, 2008)

ChristyACB said:


> Ready for round two? Why are so many single preppers likely to stay single? * :ashamed: In my case one BIG reason is that there are dan few of any kind of women w/in reach - say nothing of preppy/survival ones ! (Although the jury's still out on whether you may be able to shed some light for me). (& don't tell anybody, but I'm wicked shy too !!)
> * Male and female preppers are different in the most basic of ways. They can and do absolutely form wonderful partnerships and marriages, as evidenced on HST and in real life, but their essential viewpoints come from very different biological and sociologically influenced bases. Those compliment each other as long as they are both allowed to manifest in productive ways.
> 
> What is difficult in that is the actual forming of a relationship between two, already established, preppers. They've haven't made those unconscious compromises or formed new ideas that enhance their single viewpoint over time. The example of WIHH and Cabin Fever is a very good one. They have so very much in common that it is startling. But notice that they aren't, in any way, so absolutely focused on one specific facet of a full life that it is their single point of reference. They are (and pardon me for talking about you all!) very full range people with a variety of common interests and common goals such that their natural chemistry had room to grow. When you start to narrow that focus to fewer and fewer areas of life, there is less room for that before the inherent conflict of "salesmanship" vs "buyer beware" begins. *[:happy0035: Ha, ha, I like that !
> ...


*

Yikes, Dahlin' you may be perceptive, but you don't know me this well ??
I do see that you're trying to help & share wisdom, so I'll try to read what you've said again. (Like I once bought a book you had recommended here - unless my sorry memory twisted that one up ?)*


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## Forest (Oct 14, 2010)

Wow, Christy. That was unbelievable. You're like Steven Hawkins for relationships! Thanks for your brief explanation of the universe.


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## rickfrosty (Jun 19, 2008)

ChristyACB said:


> Round Three: Understanding the female thinking pattern based on biology and why that is working against you.
> *Please forgive me, still learning my way around here, and in these next couple posts look for my inserted comments marked by goofy smilies w/in the quotes, okay ? Too danned hard to edit them all to 'bold'. I think you can tell when I stop & Christy begins again. Thanks, Richard*
> 
> You've stated you're in Maine and that is your base and that is where you want to be. She relocates..period. You're in the same boat as the single preppers in Alaska, Northern Montana and other classically frigid climes. Nature is against you when it comes to women. :whistlin: Maybe, maybe not, those women, if things really get crazy in this once great nation, are gonna want to be on the back side of rural, where BECAUSE the weather's a little nipply, there are dan few people, fewer roads for em to come up & yet a very comfy life can be lived, no ? But you're right, I'm fightin' the avereage woman's perceptions at the moment. While we're on the subject of ME's deficiencies y'all might consider that it's the 2nd rated state for safety & only the slightest margin between us & # 1. N.Hampshire, which buffers us from the rest of this messed up country ! There are hardly any gangs of any sort, & please, please don't missunderstand this one, but also very few black or hispanic people - I am NOT a racist, but if things get desperate ethnicities will prolly get together to fight, no ? - - shortened to post - -
> ...


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## rickfrosty (Jun 19, 2008)

ChristyACB said:


> Last one for now: What I would recommend or "How to Get a Prepper Girl and Like It".
> 
> -Understand Female Personality Types and choose your poison: For male preppers you really have just a few main categories for a first run. 1) Advanced Female Prepper: She will have just as many plans as you and she's far less likely to pick up and move to a place that balances out as "less" than what she already has or is working toward. 2) Just Bought The Truck Prepper: This is the one who has either just started to think of prepping, whose been swayed by something she heard or read and hasn't started or who has been sold on the idea by you. The question you, as an advanced prepper with a lifeplan, must consider most carefully is, Why? Why has she changed? What in her situation has allowed her to alter her life views to such an extent? Is it desperation? Is it simply a fad that will change to Gucci handbags next year? Is it a trauma? I would say that you have the most potential to find someone who will buy into your paradigm, hook, line and sinker, within this group. However, why she buys in might make it not such a good deal for you in the long run. 3) Disinterested - You see this everywhere and even on HST you see posts from folks who are trying to get their spouse on board with their prepping. It may be that you find a great woman who likes the idea of Maine, but could care less about your prepping. She'll not like living in a warehouse and will expect conversation topics and mutual interests beyond canned goods and zombie shooting.
> 
> ...


See insertion partway down, can't post unless I write something here.
It's 11:30 & I think I've had enough for today. ChristyACP (you're a pistol !), I know you're a dear, smart woman, but perhaps your getting a little carried away w/your assumptions about me (or about men). 
I'm all about 'happiness "our way"', but I can't move & thought I should put that right up front, as women do all the time when they post & say they can't relocate .
I know & agree with most of what you say, (except that it pertains to me ?), but against all odds will still try to hazard the anger of American women to find one to open up to me and see me, not the generations of men who oppressed women, or the other men in their lives who were so diametrically opposed to them. Or treated them in any lesser way.
And before closing, as I look over what you have written, bless you, but if I were to have the time & will power to figure out what you want me to do & make the radical changes you see needed to help me cope, why I might as well learn Chinese as well (then I can perhaps get a job at one of the 4 Foreign Trade Zones slated for Maine - the info for which was forwarded to me today ????), LOL. As Popeye said "I yam what I yam, an that's all I yam"


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## rickfrosty (Jun 19, 2008)

AngieM2 said:


> Christy - I had to wait until tonight to really read your "book". All the guys out looking should read it - if they are serious.
> 
> It's going to be lifted and put in the Vault. Outstanding!
> 
> Thanks for thinking it out and posting it.


Yikes, & I'll be memorialised in the Vault as a cad ! Don't have a clue about women 'cause Christy says ?
I been studyin' on all y'all sweethearts (& some not sweet hearts too) for a VERY long time, oh well. C'est la vie.


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## AngieM2 (May 10, 2002)

rick - if you can still edit your posts, can you bold your answers that are within the quoted area? I cannot tell what you are saying and what's quoted, others may have the problem also.

Thanks, Angie


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## AngieM2 (May 10, 2002)

rickfrosty said:


> Yikes, & I'll be memorialised in the Vault as a cad ! Don't have a clue about women 'cause Christy says ?
> I been studyin' on all y'all sweethearts (& some not sweet hearts too) for a VERY long time, oh well. Ce la vie.


The Vault because what she says is very true from a point of view that might be good for all to consider in her analsys of the situation of men/women and separate homesteads becoming one. The link is only to show why it was written, and I don't think it makes you a cad - just a reason for a long thoughtful post by a female that may help some fellow to understand better.

Cause, what she said is true in general.


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## manygoatsnmore (Feb 12, 2005)

No, not a cad, just someone that is MALE, lol. Not meant in a bad way, just that men's brains and women's brains are wired differently. Christy posted a lot of good advice - and notice how many women have said, "Yes, THAT'S what we are like!" You seem a little puzzled by what she wrote. Wonder if any of the other men here have read it, and if they are also scratching their heads? There is a book out there called Women Are From Venus, Men Are From Mars, or some such title. The author goes into the ways men and women are wired differently and how to learn to communicate through those differences and figure each other out. It's a guy that wrote it, so maybe combining that book with what Christy wrote will give you some perspective?

BTW, Christy, congrats on "vault status"!!!! You go, girl. :happy: :goodjob:


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

Rick, you seem like a genuinely nice guy who knows what he wants. There is nothing wrong with having high expectations, especially when you live a particular lifestyle. Homesteading is not easy, and you are simply being honest about they type of partner you want. 
Unlike most men, you are upfront and express yourself...you make known how you feel. That is a wonderful quality to have so don't lose it. There is no perfect partner out there because everybody has their faults. I am confident that you know that and would be willing to compromise when you meet the right woman.
I wish you the best!!!
Shannon


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## navygirl (Oct 23, 2005)

Rick,
I don't think you are a cad and I'm pretty sure most of the ladies here don't either. Looks like you only want what most of us want.... someone to share our lives with. The problem is we are all a bunch of independent, strong-willed, determined and focused people who know what we want. And there is a shortage of what we want. (Wow, lotsa "wants" here, lol). 
So try not to take Christy's writings too personally. You simply asked the question that pushed the button. Keep charging, keep looking and definitely let folks get to know more about you. 
As for me, I'm appreciative that Christy was able to articulate me for me, lol. I'm still hunting even though I know that the mountain man I seek probably has his own place that he doesn't want to leave either. I'm hoping that while building a relationship (assuming I trip and fall into one...), the question of location will sort itself out naturally.


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## ChristyACB (Apr 10, 2008)

Rick - I definitely don't think you're a cad at all! I wouldn't have written that much had I thought so. Rather, I saw in your writings something that I see in other guys who are having a hard time trying to figure out the additional complexity of Prepper love. Because, let's face it, there is an added complexity.

The Calculus of Love isn't an easy thing in any situation, for sure. 

I don't think you need to change who you are at all. I think there is a small change in how you think of one particular facet of the person you seek. That's pretty much it.

The rest is just information that let's you a bit into the female prepper mind, the female mind and the way we tend to process information, choices and ultimately make decisions.
At least from my small point of view.

Thanks so MUCH for saying I'm getting vault status! I couldn't be more excited!


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## rickfrosty (Jun 19, 2008)

shanzone2001 said:


> Rick, you seem like a genuinely nice guy who knows what he wants. There is nothing wrong with having high expectations, especially when you live a particular lifestyle. Homesteading is not easy, and you are simply being honest about they type of partner you want.
> Unlike most men, you are upfront and express yourself...you make known how you feel. That is a wonderful quality to have so don't lose it. There is no perfect partner out there because everybody has their faults. I am confident that you know that and would be willing to compromise when you meet the right woman.
> I wish you the best!!!
> Shannon


*Whoots ! Kind Shan, I'm nothing if not absent-minded, got a little twisted which one of y'all I just replied to in the heat of the moment, so Manygoats that wasn't just directed at you either, you too have been kind to share w/me about yourself, what you have, want, can't consider. 
I guess I'd like to try to re-craft just a tiny bit how y'all women are eager to assume how we (may I say 'we' guys ?) try ta club ya & drag ya into our narrow caves of perception. If I were you & had your history of oppression I might be a tad angry too, as I am myself to recently discover the totality of my slave life under the Bankster owner/operators. 
Somewhere in my library piles I have a huge book on the history of women an I read the sucker too, y'all are one of my favorite things to try to understand (yes, & to kiss too !), so use me (CristyACP, hee, hee) as a focal point to lecture the other men if it serves your purpose, but I ain't yer average bear.*


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## rickfrosty (Jun 19, 2008)

navygirl said:


> Rick,
> I don't think you are a cad and I'm pretty sure most of the ladies here don't either. Looks like you only want what most of us want.... someone to share our lives with. The problem is we are all a bunch of independent, strong-willed, determined and focused people who know what we want. *(And please, for our eddification, can ya put that in words - we'd be making great strides here !)* And there is a shortage of what we want. (Wow, lotsa "wants" here, lol).
> So try not to take Christy's writings too personally. You simply asked the question that pushed the button. Keep charging, keep looking and definitely let folks get to know more about you.
> As for me, I'm appreciative that Christy was able to articulate me for me, lol. I'm still hunting even though I know that the mountain man I seek probably has his own place that he doesn't want to leave either. I'm hoping that while building a relationship (assuming I trip and fall into one...), the question of location will sort itself out naturally.


 Hi NavyGirl, glad to hear from you. (almost joined the Navy once.) Mountain Man, mountain man, hmmm, maybe I know him - nah. The Jeremiah Johnson from the movie - rough, rugged, extremely skilled in his dangerous but beautifull environment while also being wise, compassionate & sexy hooked up w/an Indian babe. (No PC here !)
Forgive me Navy if I use you as a little bit of an example & I am NOT assuming too much from your casual comments (I'd like to get to know you better) - perhaps all y'all gals have a little bit of a perception-of-men problem too ? 
In the last 10 years as a realtor I've seen like, a bazillion (well quite a few) people "from away" come up to this tiny resort area w/a perception/dream in their minds of a cottage/cabin/chalet on a quiet pond, or one of the not so quiet big lakes that is private, secluded by lots of beautifull woods, yet not too far out from the restaurants/stores, & what passes for civilisation here, oh, and the highway that takes them home too.
Well, there ARE a few of those places, but when they are for sale it's for a $$$million or more & THEY AIN'T FOR SALE !!!!! 
So often those would-be buyers can never adjust what they're looking for to appreciate something not quite so special, but very, very nice still - so they can settle down to listen to the loons from the porch or by the old stone fireplace in the awesome cabin they wisely 'settled for' .
Anyway, Navygal, this as I say, hasn't been just directed (shouldn't say aimed) just to you, but all the girls who might be missing out on some really sweet men (like, oh I don know, me ?), if they could leave off w/the prejudices (what else can I call it ?) ??
PLEASE don't rush to make assumptions about some guy who's posting his casual comments, it's not enough evidence, you know, we're just trying to throw out something to say. 
Speaking for myself at least, we aren't like those old European or American statesmen, writers & courtiers who could craft an utterance like a scalpel . Give us the 'benefit of the doubt' ?? For awhile anyway ?


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## rickfrosty (Jun 19, 2008)

ChristyACB said:


> Rick - I definitely don't think you're a cad at all! I wouldn't have written that much had I thought so. Rather, I saw in your writings something that I see in other guys who are having a hard time trying to figure out the additional complexity of Prepper love. Because, let's face it, there is an added complexity. *Well, I only realised recently that perhaps I had been wasting too much time on 'normal' singles sites, so I wouldn't say (yet) that I'm having a hard time figuring out the additional 'prepper' twist in the convoluted thinking of my sister human BEINGS. I do see that most, if smart & active, female preppers will already have a good start on getting ready, including a place to make a stand.
> I can't help that, my life's work is in these $600k (was more before the crash) of properties here, & I'd still have to pay the substantial R E taxes on them if I picked up & left to join a wonderful woman who had an even better start than me. I won't say that's not a possibility, there was a nice-sounding woman on another site w/an awesome spread out in the Northern Middle West, BUT, if I am a 'survivalist', one reason is I think once Pandora fully get's out of her box that most areas in America will NOT be safe at all, or I certainly (especially since I happen fortuitously to already own in a pretty remote, safe spot) would have a hard time uprooting (I have family too) & moving lock stock & barrel to them.
> SOOO, I have to remain patient, keep trawlin my net for a hard-lovin gal who has just gotten free of (whatever), or has been in the city, or suburbs trying to figure out how she can shoot for a safer future, no ? Or ??*
> 
> ...


Blahhhh, blahhh, baaa, baaa, have to write something here !!!!!!!!!!!


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## rickfrosty (Jun 19, 2008)

AngieM2 said:


> rick - if you can still edit your posts, can you bold your answers that are within the quoted area? I cannot tell what you are saying and what's quoted, others may have the problem also.
> 
> Thanks, Angie


 I'll see, I tried to set off my in-quote comments by 2 goofy smilies, but site-mother in the sky said too many smilies.
Thank you for your great service here too, how in heck do you get anything else done ?


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## mpillow (Jan 24, 2003)

interesting and pertinent male perspective...

http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/relationships/article5661016.ece


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## Shrarvrs88 (May 8, 2010)

hmmmm....if i wasnt hitched i'd be pming you, rick! (although i am young and immature on some levels, and have two young boys, so you may not have been interested anyways...). I thinks christy's post was an amazing glimpse into our womanly brains, and you shouldnt take it as critisism. just as a lucky look into one of the amazing parts of us that most men dont see.

As an aside, how do you feel about people different ages than you? how much younger/older are you willing to try out? future kids, if your woman was still of childbearing age? a woman with children (young, at home) already?


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## Shrarvrs88 (May 8, 2010)

besides, from your picture, you are pretty attractive, so i wouldnt worry about your age or looks if i was you.


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## navygirl (Oct 23, 2005)

For edification: What we all want? A partner. Someone who complements us. Someone to share our lives with. I'm hoping to find one someday. While I could spend my life alone, I don't relish the prospect. 
So my mountain man.... okay, I did have a crush on Grizzly Adams when I was a kid. But that's not to say he's specifically what I'm looking for. I'm interested in competence, loyalty, strength of character, a willingness to work toward a common goal, mutual appreciation and admiration, complementary skill sets and similar world views in common. Hmmm.... sounds awful rational. Guess I'd add gentleness with an iron core, compassion and passion, and the ability to love. I believe that the synergy of two people can add up to more than the sum of their two efforts. (No prejudices there....).
These traits are present in a lot of fellas.... just not that many 40-somethings, that are single, local and desirable. I'm one of the girls that Christy talked about that already has a base of operations. I have a 13 acre farm, two barns, livestock, mature fruit trees and grape vines, a garden and a fully functioning social network with people I can count on in a pinch. That coupled with the preps I have in place puts me well on the way to where I'm going. It's extremely difficult to contemplate giving up what I have built and worked so hard for in exchange for an "insecure" situation. By insecure I mean that we never know what might happen. Just as an example, and I don't remember any names, a lady on HT sold off her farm and livestock to be with another fella on HT, and it didn't work out. Add to that, the way things are going, the new generation no longer has the prospects to succeed that we did. I don't want my child to be dependent on the nanny state. Therefore, this farm is also his inheritance. I foresee that, in order to survive, we will experience a great resurgence of the multi-generational farmsteads. I don't think the nuclear family concept is viable any more. 
So, where all this leaves me.... looking for someone I'd enjoy climbing into the harness with. If the connection is real, then the two of us will work out where to go next. It's a long process and much ground has to be covered and the odds are against success. But I'm one who's known for smashing through obstacles.
Hope this clears things up a bit Rick!


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## rickfrosty (Jun 19, 2008)

Shrarvrs88 said:


> hmmmm....if i wasnt hitched i'd be pming you, rick! (although i am young and immature on some levels, and have two young boys, so you may not have been interested anyways...). I thinks christy's post was an amazing glimpse into our womanly brains, and you shouldnt take it as critisism. just as a lucky look into one of the amazing parts of us that most men dont see.
> 
> As an aside, how do you feel about people different ages than you? how much younger/older are you willing to try out? future kids, if your woman was still of childbearing age? a woman with children (young, at home) already?


I have said (or was it here ?) that if I found a woman that I loved, then I'd be honored to help raise her children .
My step-daughter was a very, very bright little 5 yr old who had been raised by her mom & grandmom when she came to me from Russia. My ex had lost a child & this one had em wrapped right around her little finger. If you crossed her she would let out a screech that really might break windows !
If you think some Americans spoil their kids, you ain't seen nothin yet. I've seen how other Russian kids were spoiled too.
Anyway, I sure could've done better, but I did try hard for nearly ten years.
She could behave like an angel when she wanted something, no arguing, amazing. In the table by my couch I have a little note where she called me Daddy that brings tears to my eyes.
When I really want to wallow in regrets there's a tape of her when she was 11 made by the fire dept. in case she ever was kidnapped or anything - breaks my freakin heart ! She's 16 now in Phoenix, a top student & OMG- driving a car !! Oh, & going on 6 ft. too - sent her to basketball camp a couple times. We talk on Facebk. once & awhile. Her Mom had her help decieve me - BUT - they did what they had to do, no hard feelings, ex knew I wanted someone else.
But I digress - heck, I'll go younger if somebody doesn't mind an old cat like me, but pretty much realised that in America there aren't many younger women who will be interested. And yes, I'd like to have children of my own, never got to raise up any - BUT, I'm expecting to find somebody closer to my own advanced age, so not a deal-breaker for certain if they're past all that.


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## rickfrosty (Jun 19, 2008)

navygirl said:


> For edification: What we all want? A partner. Someone who complements us. Someone to share our lives with. I'm hoping to find one someday. While I could spend my life alone, I don't relish the prospect.
> So my mountain man.... okay, I did have a crush on Grizzly Adams when I was a kid. But that's not to say he's specifically what I'm looking for. I'm interested in competence, loyalty, strength of character, a willingness to work toward a common goal, mutual appreciation and admiration, complementary skill sets and similar world views in common. Hmmm.... sounds awful rational. Guess I'd add gentleness with an iron core, compassion and passion, and the ability to love. *Nice picture ! May be other guys w/some of those things but not all who compensate in other ways you might like ?* I believe that the synergy of two people can add up to more than the sum of their two efforts. (No prejudices there....).
> These traits are present in a lot of fellas.... just not that many 40-somethings, that are single, local and desirable. I'm one of the girls that Christy talked about that already has a base of operations. I have a 13 acre farm, two barns, livestock, mature fruit trees and grape vines, a garden and a fully functioning social network with people I can count on in a pinch. That coupled with the preps I have in place puts me well on the way to where I'm going. It's extremely difficult to contemplate giving up what I have built and worked so hard for in exchange for an "insecure" situation. By insecure I mean that we never know what might happen. Just as an example, and I don't remember any names, a lady on HT sold off her farm and livestock to be with another fella on HT, and it didn't work out. Add to that, the way things are going, the new generation no longer has the prospects to succeed that we did. I don't want my child to be dependent on the nanny state. Therefore, this farm is also his inheritance. I foresee that, in order to survive, we will experience a great resurgence of the multi-generational farmsteads. I don't think the nuclear family concept is viable any more.
> So, where all this leaves me.... looking for someone I'd enjoy climbing into the harness with. If the connection is real, then the two of us will work out where to go next. It's a long process and much ground has to be covered and the odds are against success. But I'm one who's known for smashing through obstacles.
> Hope this clears things up a bit Rick!


Yeah, yeah, okay thank you. Sounds like you have a good thing going. 
Do you find ways to approach men that seem interesting ? I know I love that, because initially I'm so very chit-chat-challenged ! In front of an attractive woman I turn into a MORON !!
Hope to hear from you more sometime.


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## rickfrosty (Jun 19, 2008)

Shrarvrs88 said:


> besides, from your picture, you are pretty attractive, so i wouldnt worry about your age or looks if i was you.


Ha, ha, thank you. Oh wait, what's this ? My hat doesn't seem to fit anymore ?


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## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

ChristyACB said:


> Bottom line is that you are asking a person [woman] to give up their territory to go into yours.
> 
> Whether we realize it consciously or not, that is a power shift of the most basic kind.
> 
> ...


:donut:

I know, from personal experience, this entire surmising to be so very true ... my faith, and my trust, is a blessing and a curse.

:donut:


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## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

Just popping up to say...cultivate friendships, both sexes(instead of looking for booty), and the booty will eventually come around. Probably in a person you least expect.  Learn to be complete in your own skin--if you need someone to make you whole, then you'll always be disappointed. Though that isn't to say the right other person doesn't make your whole better!


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## rickfrosty (Jun 19, 2008)

mpillow said:


> interesting and pertinent male perspective...
> 
> http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/relationships/article5661016.ece


Thanks for the link MPillow.


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## rickfrosty (Jun 19, 2008)

wyld thang said:


> Just popping up to say...cultivate friendships, both sexes(instead of looking for booty), and the booty will eventually come around. Probably in a person you least expect.  Learn to be complete in your own skin--if you need someone to make you whole, then you'll always be disappointed. Though that isn't to say the right other person doesn't make your whole better!


Hmm, booty, booty, now what was that - been awhile !!!


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## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

rickfrosty said:


> Hmm, booty, booty, now what was that - been awhile !!!


yeah, it's just an expression:icecream:. Friendship is really important. You come hang out in Singletree. Post on whatever. I think the quality people kinda hang back and see what a person is made of before they bite. Which is as it should be:thumb:


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## AngieM2 (May 10, 2002)

I think this has it's usefulness expired.
The prep portion has been dissipated, so now this is closed.
It can be a topic for singletree proper, if OP wishes to post there.

Angie


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