# Just feeling lonely today



## honeybee18 (Sep 1, 2014)

Maybe it's the weather here in southwestern Ohio, but I'm feeling lonely today. It's one of the days when surrounded by people and things to occupy your time, yet you still feel lonely. What do y'all do when you get lonely?


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## RideBarefoot (Jun 29, 2008)

I don't get lonely, I've got the world's best canine snuggle-bunny


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## moonwolf (Sep 20, 2004)

Sometimes at work I feel better having lunch later
than usual and no cranky yakkety types joining in.
Not at all lonely. Yet others seem to feel out of joint 
If they lunch alone. I always have a book at hand to
read for the required hour lunch break. Most in town go 
home that hour. Me,... Live too far for that, so I read and 
eat. When time to go home I'm happy to be on my way
toward my stead and 'second' life here....though never lonely
with all the birds and animal activity around.&#55357;&#56832;


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## BlueJeans (Jan 17, 2009)

Strangely, I suppose...I never feel lonely when I'm alone. I often do when surrounded by people outside of my family. But I'm half-hermit anyway.

My DDH was much more out-going than I...so the worst now is when I'm without him around friends/couples we used to hang-out with. I want to RUN.

But you asked what do we do. I'm still working on that part too.


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## TxGypsy (Nov 23, 2006)

I'm lonely a lot too. Generally thinking about or actually spending time with my ex makes me more appreciative of alone time. He has been over here a lot in the last week.....lonely becomes very tolerable depending on the alternative.

Would dearly love to meet someone to spend time with.


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

I get lonely sometimes too. Usually though, if I look around I can always find something to tear up, LOL. I'll often take a walk around the place. That practically guarantees I'll see something that needs doing, finishing, or tidying up. I almost always have a partially read book or two lying around, sometimes a movie I haven't seen for awhile, HT!!, or other internet sites I like. 

I've been enjoying the talks I have with my 17 yr old son a whole lot more here lately. Pretty smart kid... (huh-- who knew?) Both my sons and I are each kinda nerdy in our own way and we have some pretty cool conversations. Plus, I try to keep enough on the to do list so I'll always have a fall back plan. It all helps to melt away most, but not all, kinds of loneliness.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

She didn't pay the CS, and one day they called me to the office where a nice man in blue gave me a pair of bracelets and a ride downtown, or rather, in W Planes Mo, uptown.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Sorry, wrong post. Things messed up tonight


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## Classof66 (Jul 9, 2011)

I have been in West Plains, Bill. My late S/O was from near there. He worked with Porter Wagoner at the shoe factory.


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## msscamp (Sep 8, 2014)

I can't honestly say I've ever been lonely. Since I live alone, there are days that I wish I had someone other than myself to talk to, in which case I go out and sit with my goats and talk to them. I have quite a few who will talk to me. I don't have a clue what they are saying, but it's fun trying to figure out what they are saying.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

I feel lonely at times, but mostly disgusted at the men there is to choose from.
I'd rather be alone, then be used or have nothing in common with them.


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## honeybee18 (Sep 1, 2014)

I don't live alone. That may be part of the problem. One person I live with and dearly love is bipolar. When the days are good ones, she can be amazing and fun. But when the days are bad, coming all to frequently now, she can tear you apart and think nothing of it. She's family and I try not to dwell on everything she has said or done to hurt me, but it does a number when you are a child and as you grow that hurt never wants to go away. 

I do enjoy talking to my cuter-than-cute puppy and my own sweet grumpy cat. They never judge or criticize.


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## doingitmyself (Jul 30, 2013)

I'd be happy to cook for company at my place once or twice a week. I love to cook and rarely have the opportunity to cook other then for myself. Not looking for any extras right now. Some people don't seem to understand the amount of time I spend with dad and why. Those are the women I really don't to be cooking for anyways...

I recently had one lady accuse me of using my time with dad to keep distance from people. Even went so far as to say I seen her only when I wanted to!!! If she only knew. Well she self culled herself with that remark. I don't need, want, or have any interest in feeding that kind of selfish woman.


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## notwyse (Feb 16, 2014)

I dream. I find a treasure at a yard sale...then research it thoroughly. Currently have a nineteenth century painting I am working on. Good for hours. Plan a trip. Research all the free excursions in your area. Museums and antique shops are good. Take an online college course. Google free online college courses... There are hundreds of them. Join a local hotline. They need the help. Call an old friend. Try to write a short story. Then try to publish it. Research your ancestry. Talk to us.


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## BlueJeans (Jan 17, 2009)

"Single" is such a new and unfamiliar world for me that I don't even know what I want. I loved being married (almost 46 yrs)...but at my age, I don't know what I'd do with another man if I got one. I'm just having fun with the entire adventure.

For sure, I've never needed a man to "complete" my life...DDH "enriched" it. Neither did he "need" me. Life was just better and more enjoyable "together".

That is what I hope for next time.,,if there is a next time. 

Does that make sense...? Probably not...:facepalm:


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## NJ Rich (Dec 14, 2005)

I grew up in a rural area. Hey, we shot the .22 rifle out the kitchen window and never worried if we would shoot someone. Hey there was over a mile of big oak trees behind the house and no houses anywhere around. I loaded my gun at the back yard and started hunting right there.

Needless to say it was a mile to a home of anyone my age. I spent days in the woods before I was old enough to hunt. One school bus picked up every student in our area and there were a lot of empty seats. That didn't change until I was a teenager.

Going to town to shop was a once a week event. Going to the movies? What was that? I didn't t go to the movies hardly at all until I was driving. Being alone was just part of daily life. I din't feel lonely, I just did those things I liked and spent my time spending days in the woods.....

I can still do that without company but good company makes those days a lot better. Sadly my buddy died very early. I was about 9 years older than him but he was like brother. Him I miss a lot. I have other friends I lost but he was the most important. He is gone now 6 years. Don't get me wrong I am not a hermit and want to stay away from people. But I can for many days. Having good company after that becomes special if you know what I mean. Dealing with loneliness is different for most of us. Some people cannot stand to be alone. My wife for instance..... 

Sometimes a phone call brings our spirits up or stopping by to see a friend you haven't see for awhile. The best thing to do from my point of view is get out and about and see someone.


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## bigjon (Oct 2, 2013)

honeybee,dw passedin sept.LONELY? u bet.bluejeans helped out a lot to get my head straight.but even with her advice,to let the same situation happen over&over&expect a different outcome?something has to change.


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## BlueJeans (Jan 17, 2009)

The basic 'thing' I check-out in a person...any person I allow close...is good character...core integrity. That is non-negotiable. Period. Almost anything else...including some baggage, which everyone has...typically isn't a deal breaker. I do not like, much less love...anyone I don't deeply respect.


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## lazyBum (Feb 27, 2012)

It's counter intuitive. But when I'm lonely I isolate myself more. I don't listen to the radio because almost every song is about sex, the opposite gender, love, etc. I don't like going out in public because I see people holding hands or kissing and I get jealous. 

I set a goal when I was 18 to be married and having kids before by 30. I just turned 31. I havent even been on a date in years.

The loneliness usually just happens. Then it slowly goes away over a few days or weeks.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

LB, Im with ya on the radio, and these Christmas Movies, AND having to go out this time of year to shop for the month. I just KNOPW ill se young lovebirds doing their Christmas shopping together, with little money in their pockets, but fulla love and the moment in their hearts.
I was first married by 19, Had 3 kids between 22 and 25. I havnt been on a date in decades.


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## homefire2007 (Sep 21, 2007)

Hang in there! Living with someone who has mental health issues has got to be complicating things. Even when we grow up and understand better, old wounds never really heal when we are still dealing with that person. Get out of the house when you can, make time for it! Volunteer your time somewhere and meet people, it helps. Alone time is good...but people time is good, too.


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

Finding things to occupy your time is a good thing to do, but there are times when you need to sit down and have yourself a dang good pity party. Let it out and then move on.


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

https://www.facebook.com/HealthyPlace

Great place for information, tips, etc.


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## honeybee18 (Sep 1, 2014)

I've never been good at friends. Even as a kid the people I knew were never close. I was the kid alone at recess digging holes or looking at nature. As an adult, I still suck at "friends". Sometimes I think I've found one and then when you need them for something or just a shoulder to lean on, nope not interested sorry. And you are left there going "I thought we were friends."
I do think that getting out of the house will help. Especially at this time of year bc my mom LOVES those darn Christmas movies and I want to rip my hair out when I see one. She watches them every year. Over and over. And she gets mad bc I'm not interested. Thinks I'm mad at her bc I don't want to see yet another couple find love and marriage by the tree. Never been one for sappy love stories. Love Disney for the music not the princesses. 
I always thought I'd be married with a raft of kids by thirty. Just turned 29 and never dated. Never even been kissed. Loser, party of one. Pity party here, sorry guys.
So yes I get lonely bc life has been unusually mean in 2014. Hey that rhymes! Haha


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## homefire2007 (Sep 21, 2007)

Gosh honeybee, I was 34 with my first child and 40 with my second...you are a spring chicken. I decided instead of waiting for life and love to find me, I had to make it happen. It ain't over yet! This is not my favorite time of year either but I get into the swing of things as best as I can.

Friendships take work just like marriage. Time and effort make a huge difference. Just like so many things in life you gotta try and try again. You've had some rough patches but that can change. I'm pulling for you. You have everything it takes to accomplish your dreams and the courage it takes. I know because I've been in that place, too.


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## BlueJeans (Jan 17, 2009)

Honeybee, you sound like a real Sweetheart. Are you your mom's caregiver 24/7...or do you have your own space?

Bi-polar is a Challenge to live with !! I have a close friend whose wife is bi-polar...and he describes life as...riding a huge, scary roller-coaster in the DARK. 

I hope you continue talking to us...I'd like to know you better.


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## honeybee18 (Sep 1, 2014)

Well I've had myself a good cry and a nice walk in the park with my best little cuddle buddy and I think I'm going to live another day. It's amazing what trees and bird calls can do for a body and mind.


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## Guest (Dec 3, 2014)

honeybee18 said:


> Well I've had myself a good cry and a nice walk in the park with my best little cuddle buddy and I think I'm going to live another day. It's amazing what trees and bird calls can do for a body and mind.



My best friend is bi-polar... He is a tough friend some times. I feel for ya. :-/

Your walk sounded lovely! Maybe you ought to schedule another one of those. Daily.


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## BlueJeans (Jan 17, 2009)

honeybee...just checking to see how you are. Did you talk a nice walk today?


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## honeybee18 (Sep 1, 2014)

I live with my folks and help care for my mom. She is also physically disabled. Time to myself is a challenge. I usually try to get lost in books and movies. 

Bipolar is like walking on eggshells with huge clown feet. You have to constantly weigh what and how you say EVERYTHING bc there is no way of knowing what mood the person is in from minute to minute. It is exhausting and endlessly exasperating. 

Thanks everyone for being there for me. I really can't say how much it means to me that everyone has been so caring. I feel like I am making my first friends.

I would love to get to know all of you better. Keep chatting!


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## BlueJeans (Jan 17, 2009)

Do you have something you are interested in doing...learning more about? What would you do if you could do anything?


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## Guest (Dec 5, 2014)

Online classes are fun, and can be paused. 

My Bestie... He is a hoot! I am helping him avoid the TV show "Hoarders" currently. Does she have a sense of humor about it? Can she see it sometimes?


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## tambo (Mar 28, 2003)

honeybee18 this is lazybum. Lazybum this is honeybee18.


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

tambo said:


> honeybee18 this is lazybum. Lazybum this is honeybee18.


Groan... matchmaking. Gotta be a chick thing.

So, that would make any children Bum-ble-bees?


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## Doggonedog (Dec 4, 2014)

I like being alone, even when I'm in a relationship I need some just me time. 

I don't usually get lonesome but if I'm feeling down I keep busy and just say to myself, "This too shall pass." It always does.


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## okiemom (May 12, 2002)

I think anyone can get down no matter the conditions. I have be lonely as one, in a group, or even laying next to my soul mate. I can also be very happy in all those situations too. 

My Mom was from Ohio and used to talk about not missing the gray endless winters. (SAD) We have had a couple of days of gray /fog here and I'm about to go nuts. Just the blahs.Do nothing weather. Nothing is peaking my interests not much is getting done. Hope you keep feeling better Bipolar is in our family too and it can be hard. 

It will get better with some sun and I am looking forward to Dec. 21 as I know we have turned the corner on all the dark. It just may take another 6 weeks to realize it.


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## Twp.Tom (Dec 29, 2010)

tambo said:


> honeybee18 this is lazybum. Lazybum this is honeybee18.


Right on Tambo*, I was thinking the same thing, but failed to speak up. Lazybum, and Honeybee, both live in Ohio, they both seem like sweet Young people, and they seem to think a little bit alike? I think it would be a good connection, if only friends*:thumb:- Go for it kids!!!


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

Twp.Tom said:


> Right on Tambo*, I was thinking the same thing, but failed to speak up. Lazybum, and Honeybee, both live in Ohio, they both seem like sweet Young people, and they seem to think a little bit alike? I think it would be a good connection, if only friends*:thumb:- Go for it kids!!!


Oh Lordy! Say it ain't so! They've gotten to Tom! Quick! Somebody do something! We gotta snap him out of it! 

[YOUTUBE]2DB7Jm0m-jU[/YOUTUBE]


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## Twp.Tom (Dec 29, 2010)

I like that Karl*, I suppose sometimes I need a slap? (daily?):smack


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## CajunSunshine (Apr 24, 2007)

honeybee18 said:


> What do y'all do when you get lonely?










<------CajunSunshine, too busy getting into trouble to be lonely...lol.




.


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## CajunSunshine (Apr 24, 2007)

Oh hey, Honeybee... I've got to tell you a thing or two...



honeybee18 said:


> You said:
> 
> I've never been good at friends.
> 
> ...


*Welcome to here!* :grouphug:



.


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## BlueJeans (Jan 17, 2009)

Hi Honeybee....Thinking of you.


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## honeybee18 (Sep 1, 2014)

Thanks Cajun. Ultimately I feel like I am surrounded by clueless people here in the city. Like no one sees what is happening in our world. I haven't found like-minded people to associate with. As a homebody, I struggle to meet people. But I am trying to find things to do with others that interest me. Classes and events where I can meet similar people. 

Thanks for everyone's support.


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## BlueJeans (Jan 17, 2009)

Honeybee...sounds like you have a good plan !! I'm a homebody too...I go out kicking and screaming; but once I'm around people I enjoy, I'm always [usually...sometimes...] glad I did it. :thumb:


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## Guest (Dec 9, 2014)

BlueJeans said:


> Honeybee...sounds like you have a good plan !! I'm a homebody too...I go out kicking and screaming; but once I'm around people I enjoy, I'm always [usually...sometimes...] glad I did it. :thumb:



Me, too!

I force myself to run errands once a week - otherwise I would go all month without seeing or speaking to anyone!


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