# Why would you want no one around?



## Guest (Jun 5, 2012)

The why would you want someone around made me wonder about the reasons to want no one around. 
Right off the bat, I'd have to say:
1. Don't have to explain why theres a half cup of coffee in the refrigerator. Or stuff like that.
2. Don't have to hide the good stuff when inlaws come
3. can eat a whole cheesecake. And not get those looks.
4. Can sleep in the whole bed
5. when you hear a noise in the night, its you.
6. a whole lot more sex 
7. If something's a bad idea, its your idea. Of course, the same is true when you're with someone. Just different. When you're alone, it really was your idea.
8. Nobody will know if you pick that piece of ham off the floor, wipe it off on your britches leg, and eat it. Nobody.
9. If you don't like a new recipe, you don't have to eat it anyway and pretend you like it. 
10. You don't have to listen to that relentless buzzing sound that is your voice trying to explain every aspect of your life to somebody who really don't want to hear it. They just asked to be nice. Sort of like the "new recipe" thing.


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## NoClue (Jan 22, 2007)

For me the greatest benefit is that I'm no longer responsible for another's hapiness. It is such a relief to no longer have to worry about what kind of mood my ex is in, that I actually feel kind of guilty about it, and I was the one that fought so hard for us to stay together.


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## summerdaze (Jun 11, 2009)

I always have plenty of hot water in the shower.
I have full control over the remote.
Don't have temperature wars.
If I want to eat all rabbit food one week, nothin' but gravy the next, I can.


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

Why would I want no one around? Just in case I wake up in a grumpy mood - NO ONE should have to be subjected to THAT. Otherwise, maybe it'd be nice to have someone around to jolly me OUT of a grumpy mood.


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

NoClue said:


> For me the greatest benefit is that I'm no longer responsible for another's hapiness. It is such a relief to no longer have to worry about what kind of mood my ex is in, that I actually feel kind of guilty about it, and I was the one that fought so hard for us to stay together.


You never were responsible for another's happiness! A person's happiness ( or lack of) comes from within - no one else is in charge of that. Please don't beat yourself up. It ain't your fault!


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Dang Z I wish i could copy and enlarge and post those things here in front of the puter sos whenever I see a singles place, I could quickly read off the list and smile and pass on it


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

You can go the gym to work out after work rather then having to make dinner. If you want the house clean you can clean it, if it is a mess there is no one to complain that it is a mess. If you don't ever want to make dinner again, it is no big deal. All of the clothes in your closet get to stay because you don't have to make room for another person's. No one else's stuff around to make a mess. If you want to have friends over, or go over to friends house there is no one to say you can't. If you want to get your nails done, you can without questions. If you want to go to local music events you can do just that. If you want to want to hang out in your pj's on the weekends you can and there is no one around to catch ya. There are TONS more, I am just getting started.


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Oh, here is the biggest reason. You don't have to worry about if the other person stays faithful or is sleeping around yet again with his ex what ever she has to be.


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

You can go to bed when you want and not when someone thinks you should.
You can go where you want, when you want and come back when it suits you.
You can choose your own vacation destination(and enjoy it).
You don't have to worry about how someone's going to react and the mood they're in.
You can actually have peace and quiet.


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## oregon woodsmok (Dec 19, 2010)

We were always broke, so when we got divorced I was worried sick about how I would survive with only one salary.

Then what do you know? I had tons of money. We'd been so broke because he spent so much money on himself, his games, his beer, his partying. He used to steal my household money from my money jar and then mock me for not being able to keep track of how much I'd spent.


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## Bandit (Oct 5, 2008)

You don't have to dirty a glass when you only want a sip of milk or a dish when you only want a little ice cream , just a spoon .
Bandit


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

Today I am really missing the good times that I experienced with my ex. It isn't that you all don't want _someone_ around, instead you don't want the _wrong_ person around.


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## NW Rancher (Mar 8, 2008)

So I can work on my projects instead of being someone else's handyman.


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## foaly (Jan 14, 2008)

Raven12 said:


> Today I am really missing the good times that I experienced with my ex. It isn't that you all don't want _someone_ around, instead you don't want the _wrong_ person around.


Exactly.


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## foaly (Jan 14, 2008)

Well, I'll admit. It's difficult to get used to not having someone around who yells obscenities at me in front of my children, screams in my face, and generally makes my life unpleasant. But I think I'll manage.


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

NW Rancher said:


> So I can work on my projects instead of being someone else's handyman.


But if the two of you are a good team and have the same goals/interests then they become both of your projects and handyman issues, right?


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## JohnnyLee (Feb 13, 2011)

shanzone2001 said:


> But if the two of you are a good team and have the same goals/interests then they become both of your projects and handyman issues, right?


That's a LOADED question, right?? :teehee:

Only one answer, "Yes, dear".

And it has to be said in the correct tone, no hint of malice or condescension, or else you get :hammer:


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

You are a smart man, JL!!!


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

because people bug ya.


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## NewGround (Dec 19, 2010)

'cause them days when you feel like a grumpy old man you can just let your inner grumpiness shine till it has had its fill... And no one but the dogs knows nothing...


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

I don't understand some of the responses...why do so many feel like they can't go where they want to go and do what they want to do simply because they are in a relationship? 


Why do you have to give up who you are because you now have a partner? I am not talking about going out to clubs and partying with friends. I just wonder why folks feel the need to change and/or give up the things that they did before they were with someone?


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

Well I don't have anyone to ? Me why I would build a female robot that can do that an what I'm gonna do with the female robot that can does that. An being told it's very demeaning to woman to build a female robot with the Brain of dog.


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## NW Rancher (Mar 8, 2008)

shanzone2001 said:


> But if the two of you are a good team and have the same goals/interests then they become both of your projects and handyman issues, right?


Ahem...



shanzone2001 said:


> At the moment I would like a good man around to help fix my garbage disposal and my vacuum cleaner. lol


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

NW Rancher said:


> Ahem...


Well, if he wants me to cook for him I need a working kitchen, and if he wants the house vacuumed...hello!


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## WolfWalksSoftly (Aug 13, 2004)

I didnt see a conflict of interest.


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

WolfWalksSoftly said:


> I didnt see a conflict of interest.


Conflict as far as fixing things for her so she can do things for you/the house? I agree.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Shan, I dont know why it is, It just is. I suppose especially women feel this way, they cant go where they want. I dont know. I do know that ive been late to a sale cause it took wifie forever to get fixed up just to go to a country sale, and I missed my chance at buying for $20 a 1936 1/4 ton Ford pk that the buyer, who bought it for $16 put a battery and gas in and drove it home. I know ive asked wifie to go to sales I knew she would hate all the time she was there.
I know that some men like to go to sales by themselves, and I know that some dont, but do anyway. I always liked wifie around me. I liked her input, her wisdom. I liked teaching her things
Me and X was watching H & MC, and at the beginning of every show theyed show a part of a old pistol. I asked her what it was once, and she said she hadnt been looking. I said, yeah, right. Next time, I asked her again. She named it. Remington.


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

Bill, I have never put myself in a situation where I can't go where I want....I avoid controlling men. That is what makes women different from each other. Some allow themselves to be controlled and others demand to be treated like an equal partner.


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## WolfWalksSoftly (Aug 13, 2004)

FarmBoyBill said:


> I do know that ive been late to a sale cause it took wifie forever to get fixed up just to go to a country sale, and I missed my chance at buying for $20 a 1936 1/4 ton Ford pk that the buyer, who bought it for $16 put a battery and gas in and drove it home.


One should know how long it takes someone to get ready, as not to be late.


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

WolfWalksSoftly said:


> One should know how long it takes someone to get ready, as not to be late.


Most men would have left without her....Bill must be very patient!


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## WolfWalksSoftly (Aug 13, 2004)

shanzone2001 said:


> Most men would have left without her....Bill must be very patient!


Yes and Bill still holds a Grudge..lol


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## NW Rancher (Mar 8, 2008)

WolfWalksSoftly said:


> One should know how long it takes someone to get ready, as not to be late.


Dang, Wolf, buddy. I sure hope you are getting some at this point.


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## Zilli (Apr 1, 2012)

NoClue said:


> For me the greatest benefit is that I'm no longer responsible for another's hapiness. It is such a relief to no longer have to worry about what kind of mood my ex is in, that I actually feel kind of guilty about it, and I was the one that fought so hard for us to stay together.


Wow! You could be talking about my second ex husband!

He was quite miserable and a really difficult person to live with. Whenever he was unhappy, it was always somebody else's fault - my fault, his co-workers' fault, his first wife's fault.

I bent over backwards to keep him happy and content - because when he wasn't, he was unbearable. I could tell by the way he walked what kind of mood he was in.

I would get up a half hour before him every morning to get his breakfast started before he had to leave for work. I would pack his lunch - I worked hard to keep his sandwiches interesting and variable and I would buy his chewing tobacco for him and make sure he would have a fresh can in his lunch box every day.

And he would sit there and eat his biscuits and gravy and I always knew if he thought the gravy was too thick because he would tap his fork against his plate to indicate that the gravy was sticking to it.

He would go to put his socks on, and if the seam didn't line up just right against his toes, he'd get all angry at me.

I would take his truck to town on the weekends and fill it up for him so he wouldn't have to worry about it.

I would have dinner ready for him when he came home, but then he got angry at me because he said he didn't want dinner the minute he walked through the door - he wanted to be able to go to the pot and read the paper first. So, I adjusted dinner time by a half hour or so and then he got mad because dinner wasn't ready when he got home.

While he was the one who left me (for someone he met on the internet when our youngest was four months old), and as devastated as I was at first, I came to realize that he had actually done me a favor, even with all the subsequent hardships and struggles, because my entire life had become one in which it was spent almost entirely trying to make him happy.

So....being single is just fine with me. I am responsible for MY own happiness now. I take care of my last remaining kid at home but he is an involved and active kid with lots of friends and he seems to be taking responsibility for his life (and happiness) just fine.

I actually like being by myself. I've never minded it - even when I was much younger - but as I've gotten older, I've become even more comfortable living a solitary life. 

Besides, being single, I can have as many cats as I want - and goats. :dance:


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

you ex husband sounds like a reall jerk and a few more names I would love to use but want to play nice in the sand box but ya know what I am saying. No wonder you want to stay single, I would as well. I kinda had the same type of ex husband. With 4 babies at home, his two and our two I had the house super clean when he came home from work. Worked my butt off to keep it that way. He proceed to give me a 15 minute lecture because he had to reach under the couch for the remote. Even had the you know what to show and demonstrate with his had just how far he had to reach. Single life works just great for me.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

NBo, I dont have a garage lol. But I will if I get this place im lookin at. Wont have that 36 Ford tho. Have to be content with my 34 White


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

shanzone2001 said:


> I don't understand some of the responses...why do so many feel like they can't go where they want to go and do what they want to do simply because they are in a relationship?
> 
> 
> Why do you have to give up who you are because you now have a partner? I am not talking about going out to clubs and partying with friends. I just wonder why folks feel the need to change and/or give up the things that they did before they were with someone?


It really depends on the type of person one marries. In my case there was never a problem until 6+ years into the relationship, when he became an OTR driver. It was what he wanted to do and I supported it. He also wanted me to be a SAHM, but then started resenting that I was. He got it into his head that since he was the one working I should be at his beck and call. Lord forbid that I went to the grocery store when he decided to call. And if nature happened to visit me when he was home on the weekends, let's just say it made life miserable. It got to where I wasn't supposed to go anywhere or even talk on the phone when he was home, even if he was sleeping, because that was supposed to be his time.

He morphed into the most narcissistic person I've ever encountered. His mantra was, "I'm out there busting my all week and I should get to do what the  I want on my time off." It was the same for vacations, or anything really.

So, I don't think that many go into a controlling relationship, sometimes it just doesn't evolve in a good way.


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## Shrek (May 1, 2002)

The best part of nobody special around is there is no arguments. No arguing about the crapper seat, no arguing about the dishes in the sink and on and on and on ...


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## littlejoe (Jan 17, 2007)

*Why would you want no one around?*

Why wouldn't you? I'm really good by myself. With another like mind, it should be at least 300% better! LOOKOUT world!!!


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## NoClue (Jan 22, 2007)

shanzone2001 said:


> I don't understand some of the responses...why do so many feel like they can't go where they want to go and do what they want to do simply because they are in a relationship?
> 
> 
> Why do you have to give up who you are because you now have a partner? I am not talking about going out to clubs and partying with friends. I just wonder why folks feel the need to change and/or give up the things that they did before they were with someone?


Cost-Benefit Analysis

Everyone wisely points out that 'you can't make someone else happy'. This may be true but the reverse isn't - you can very easily make someone else unhappy, especially by asserting your wants, desires or inclinations over theirs. So, as a husband who didn't want to (intentionally) make my wife unhappy I had to ask myself the question: Do I want to do 'X' badly enough to annoy my wife? Well, quite often, the answer was 'No', because, I really wanted to be a good husband.

In a perfect world - or at least a better marriage - she would have been asking herself the same question. Instead, she took my willingness to do so as a license to fly. Eventually the fact that I would do anything for her wasn't enough, and she insisted that I actually be anything she wanted. That I simply couldn't do - I can only be who I am. That wasn't good enough, so she left.


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

shanzone2001 said:


> I don't understand some of the responses...why do so many feel like they can't go where they want to go and do what they want to do simply because they are in a relationship?
> 
> 
> Why do you have to give up who you are because you now have a partner? I am not talking about going out to clubs and partying with friends. I just wonder why folks feel the need to change and/or give up the things that they did before they were with someone?



I totally agree. 

It seems as though many of you are not letting go of the past. You won't receive love unless you are willing to give it.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Shrek said:


> The best part of nobody special around is there is no arguments. No arguing about the crapper seat, no arguing about the dishes in the sink and on and on and on ...


So you're inconsiderate and lazy?


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Wait a minute/ U say you wanted to do the X and yet keep your spouse happy??? lol lol


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

NoClue said:


> Cost-Benefit Analysis
> 
> Everyone wisely points out that 'you can't make someone else happy'. This may be true but the reverse isn't - you can very easily make someone else unhappy, especially by asserting your wants, desires or inclinations over theirs. So, as a husband who didn't want to (intentionally) make my wife unhappy I had to ask myself the question: Do I want to do 'X' badly enough to annoy my wife? Well, quite often, the answer was 'No', because, I really wanted to be a good husband.


I am thinking of things she did before you became a couple like getting her nails done, visiting with girlfriends (not at a bar), taking classes, etc. If these are all part of who someone is then why would you want them to change and give up the things they enjoy?
If a man enjoyed watching sports and hunting/fishing with his buddies when I met him, is it fair for me to ask him to stop just because he has me in his life now? I say no, and it goes both ways.
Sure some compromise is necessary...he may not spend time with his friends as often as before we were together, but expecting someone to change usually leaves to bitterness and resentment.


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## SilverFlame819 (Aug 24, 2010)

It's 3 AM and I'm online... Nobody is complaining about the lights being on. I haven't vacuumed the floor in a while, it's got quite a bit of dog hair on it. :shrug: I deep cleaned the kitchen 2 days ago because I felt like it, not because anyone else felt like it needed to be cleaned. I spent last night researching tents online (nobody complained about being ignored), and plan to buy one soon just because I can. There will be no discussions about what the money is going to. I am going to go to bed soon, and I can hog ALL the blankets and pillows, and sleep like Superman if I feel like it. I will get up whenever I feel like it, and have whatever I want for breakfast. 

Although it sounds nice to say that you "reclaim yourself" or whatever by being single, I think the simple truth is that being single has made me somewhat self-centered. I am not the kind of girl to ask permission to do the things I want to do... I can spend my time however I want, and never have to argue with someone, or consider others when I do whatever it is that I want to do. It's just... so peaceful.


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## summerdaze (Jun 11, 2009)

Silver, you said it very well! When single, we get to have it OUR way ALL the time, never any sharing or compromising. Never anyone else's feelings to consider. Imagine that, day after day, month after month, year after year. Just "Me, me me".

I think it's possible, that over time, we can become people who find it very hard to share or compromise, and we're not as giving, nor as flexable as we used to be. People that have been alone for a long time don't seem to have much tollerance for others that come into their lives and shake things up a bit. They start throwing up walls and reasons why this person and that person isn't "right" for them. 

And by that point, they're probably right. Learning to share and compromise takes practice. And if you haven't HAD any in 20 years, (practice that is!) it's gonna be very difficult. It's not really about the OTHER person, as much as it is about the person who's been alone and indulged nobody but themselves for quite a while. 

For the folks that can amuse and entertaine themselves, this won't be so bad. They will still enjoy their day to day. 
For others that have never really learned how to be totaly happy by themselves, they will become lonely, and that lonliness can motivate them to reach out.

The saddest, is to see the very lonely who WANT to reach out, but are already too defeated to do so. 

There are lots of things to like about being single, but over time, I'm not so sure it's a good thing for us.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

WolfWalksSoftly said:


> One should know how long it takes someone to get ready, as not to be late.


[youtube]M-C-IbkuNWs[/youtube]


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## WolfWalksSoftly (Aug 13, 2004)

Be a good Cracker..Gooood Cracker !..lol


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## unregistered168043 (Sep 9, 2011)

The thing is, I can share my life with 'the right person'. I will not get involved with someone, just to have 'someone'...AND ( I'm picky, I know ) that person has to think that I am also the right person.

I've done it both ways and I'm not sure which is worse...having someone that you just don't love no matter how hard you try, or trying desperately to make someone love you who doesn't.

When people ask why I'm alone I always say that the ones I like don't like me and the ones that like me, I don't like. If that ever changes I'm all in, I pray it happens for me. But I'm not going to settle. I'd rather keep myself open for the right one. Like the song says though 'I've been searchin for a heart of gold, and I'm gettin old'


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Shan I think im much more giveing and easy to deal with when adversity comes up. I dont see problems as major problems. BUT then, I dont have somebody on my back wanting me to solve them immeadiatly either. I take everything MUCH SLOWER. AND< I LIKE IT THAT WAY.

I would have screamed bloody murder if an X had spent as much time a day on here as I do now. I dont get mad about it NOW at all lol


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

City Bound said:


> because people bug ya.



*pointing finger close to face*...I'm not touching you!!!....LOL


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

I went to the plant store and bought a bunch of veggies to plant in my garden. I was telling a guy friend what I had done because I was pretty dang excited about having a garden again. His response was "why would you go and spend all the money on something like this". My response was, "because I can". He did NOT like my response. 

Yep, there is a reason why I think I am going to stick to the single life.


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## motdaugrnds (Jul 3, 2002)

Well, I've always preferred to be around the 4-legged type of animal (or wild creatures of the forestry) than the human species in this world. This is mainly because I learned quite early the majority of people I came across were NOT self-actualized; and this meant, if I kept the peace, I had to modify what I said and did around how they would take what I said and did. This got real tiresome!

I personally find it an awesome and very relaxing situation to be with a person who understands self, is willing to carry own responsibility for own choices and respects my right to do the same!

So, my response to, "Why would I want no one around?" is simply because I'm tired if immature & self-centered people. (Funny I can tolerate such things in animals!)


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## NewGround (Dec 19, 2010)

It's hard to find someone strong enough the bear the weight of my insecurities, LOL...


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## Zilli (Apr 1, 2012)

summerdaze said:


> *I think it's possible, that over time, we can become people who find it very hard to share or compromise, and we're not as giving, nor as flexable as we used to be.* People that have been alone for a long time don't seem to have much tollerance for others that come into their lives and shake things up a bit. They start throwing up walls and reasons why this person and that person isn't "right" for them.


I think this is true - at least in my case.

I have been single for so long, and have become so comfortable with it, that I doubt I could let anyone else in now.

I got hurt on the job almost five years ago, and as part of the treatment, I had to see a psychologist for a while because of the severity and life-changing aspects of the injury, and I actually discussed my contentment and satisfaction at being alone and by myself with the psychologist and he said it is healthy to be comfortable with being by oneself.

My kids worry a little about it, though, because I've also become a bit of a hermit - only leaving my 'stead when necessary, for grocery shopping, trips to the feed store, and to run my youngest around to where he needs to go. But when I get invited out to things like Thanksgiving and other get-togethers with their in-laws and other extended family, I try to come up with every excuse in the book not to go.

I would really rather just be here with my critters for company - and sometimes I wish they weren't here (not really).

I've dated over the years, but as soon as I felt that the guy was starting to intrude in my life, or wanting to get involved with my kids, that would be it. I had one fairly long relationship (two years), but I ended it when he started to make me crazy with his demands and questions - "where were you? I've been calling all day;" "what took you so long to get here?" blah, blah, blah

In fact, there were only a couple of guys that I even introduced to my kids. The one I mentioned above and another one by accident - when he came looking for me because he knew I was taking my kids to the river to go swimming.

Who knows? Maybe some day I will look back and come to the realization that being alone maybe wasn't so great and regret it.

Or maybe not. :happy2:


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## SilverFlame819 (Aug 24, 2010)

I really do enjoy human interaction... Having someone around that you can talk to in depth, and who doesn't drive you insane, and who isn't constantly mememe is just so rare though. I miss easy-going conversations, and having someone around who gets me, so the silence is comfortable. I think I mostly just don't bother anymore, because it seems like _nobody_ gets me. I'd rather just chill by myself than constantly have to deal with wasting my time on someone in hopes that they'll be someone I can mesh well with.


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

I think being able to just sit down with someone and "be" is often more of a connection than having to do something. 

If you have ever had a connection with someone who can reach deep into your soul and "hear" you without words, then you understand what I am talking about.


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

exactly! i only ever had one like that. dont expect it again in this lifetime. ~Georgia.


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## xaguar_69 (Feb 8, 2006)

I will wade in here with caution lol.
I have lived the majority of my adult life for other people.
I married at an early age had children at any early age, took on the responsibilities of family early on. My choices, decisions, lifestyle were formed as a result.
I passed chances to follow my dreams because of what I believed at the time was better for my family. whether that be the wife didn't want to relocate or I didn't want to uproot the children or what have you.
I am still allowing some of this type of stuff to color my decisions but not to the same extent.
Currently I am doing more things for Me and worrying less about what others would have me to do.
My current career really doesn't leave a lot of time for a relationship due to the amount of travel and time away so I make do with what I am given.
Yes this has caused me to have to pass on potential long term happiness but at this point in my life I guess this is the road I choose to follow.
So in answer to why do I choose to have no one around would be because I am not capable of giving what is needed to honestly be a partner to someone else fulltime and thats what I believe being in a real relationship is about is being there for eachother 100% not just part time. My essay is over lol.


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## xaguar_69 (Feb 8, 2006)

Guess that puts me in the me me me class at this moment lol.


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## Zilli (Apr 1, 2012)

xaguar_69 said:


> Guess that puts me in the me me me class at this moment lol.


LOL

I'm not even sure if it's necessarily all about "me me me."

I had my first son thirteen days after my 21st birthday; I had my last son three months before my 41st.

I have devoted pretty much all of my adult life to taking care of other people (and I'm still not done!) and I have to admit that I am really looking forward to the day when I am no longer responsible, on a day-to-day basis, for another human.

My kids have always come first. Always. And they continue to do so. I will always drop everything to be there for my kids (and have), no matter how long they have been out and on their own. Luckily, my kids are all responsible and self-supporting adults (except for the youngest one - one more year).

And I am devoted to my granddaughters - I just wish they lived closer so I could see them more often.

I used to think I would like to see about single parent adoption but the closer I get to actually seeing the end of the child-rearing tunnel, the more I realize that I am actually looking forward to not having a kid or kids to be responsible for every day. And I realize how much I'm looking forward to having my little homestead all to myself.

Does that make me part of the "me me me class," too? :happy2:


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## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

Darntootin said:


> 'I've been searchin for a heart of gold, and I'm gettin old'


:donut:

I love that song.

:donut:


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

shanzone2001 said:


> I think being able to just sit down with someone and "be" is often more of a connection than having to do something.
> 
> If you have ever had a connection with someone who can reach deep into your soul and "hear" you without words, then you understand what I am talking about.



It can be a curse as well. I miss the spiritual connection an ex and I had over animals, the environment, and being outdoors. Ah, Elk and Annie have me all mushy now.


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## rickfrosty (Jun 19, 2008)

zong said:


> The why would you want someone around made me wonder about the reasons to want no one around.
> Right off the bat, I'd have to say:
> 1. Don't have to explain why theres a half cup of coffee in the refrigerator. Or stuff like that.
> 2. Don't have to hide the good stuff when inlaws come
> ...


Ha, ha, nice twist Zong - should have expected it !
I whine (to myself) that I need a female partner, but for many of the reasons you mention single life is at least pretty peacefull !


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

zong said:


> The why would you want someone around made me wonder about *the reasons to want no one around. *


No one, as in 'spouse/mate'?

Well I reckon you don't have to worry about being lied to, cheated on, manipulated, fooled, humiliated, left, and the like?
Your daily cleaning is cut in half (at least).
There's plenty more time and energy to serve the Lord and the community.
You could have animals (assuming spouse/mate said no)
Your nerves wouldn't be shot.
You could get a full nights sleep.


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## rickfrosty (Jun 19, 2008)

Zilli said:


> Wow! You could be talking about my second ex husband!
> 
> He was quite miserable and a really difficult person to live with. Whenever he was unhappy, it was always somebody else's fault - my fault, his co-workers' fault, his first wife's fault.
> 
> ...


Wow, you sound like a fine woman !


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## motdaugrnds (Jul 3, 2002)

Seems to me if one has spent years devoted to others, then taking time for some "me me me" is well deserved! Enjoy! I certainly am!


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## Guest (Jun 11, 2012)

Well, My first child was born when I was 20, and the last one born when I was 40. Both mothers abandoned the children with me, so, all in all, I spent 38 years being a parent, and 24 or so of those tears were as a single parent, taking care of 4 children, then eventually just one. 5 all together. What's the odds of meeting 2 women in a lifetime and having both leave their kids with you?? In my case, 100%. Near the time my youngest daughter graduated school, and moved away to college, Betty got terribly sick, and I took care of her until her death. So, I spent 40 years taking care of people, and about 1 1/2 years alone. I don't like being alone, I don't enjoy it. But, I'm just causing further strife for myself not accepting it. Last fall, I had decided that as of Winter Solstice, I would give up forever on the idea of being "together" and just be "alone" and deal with it. Right at the last couple weeks, it seemed that things were changing, but that ended up leaving me "aloner" than ever. 
Another solstice approaches. I'm tired of hoping. Hope can spring eternal in somebody else's heart.


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## Vickie44 (Jul 27, 2010)

Zong Sometimes you find what you are looking for when you stop looking for it !


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

My reasons of enjoying the single life this morning...

I made my own coffee and brought it into the shower with me. 
My house stayed somewhat clean even though I woke up to my teen son still awake after playing x box all night. 
I had a few dishes in the sink and didn't get griped at because they were there from last night. 
There is no extra stuff to have to do to get ready for work, so far it is turning out to be a beautiful day.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Like Vickie said, and the womans (usually) mantra, and the full of it is
Shes looking too
shes looking for you as hard as your looking for her
Shes not giveing up, why should you
You will never find her if you dont keep looking
Shes as lonely as you
shes been just as hurt as you have
She got left with her kids too
You never will know when you meet mrs right
Dont throw away your paddles when your already up the creek
keep looking, its good exercise
Keep putting your self out there\always put your best foot forward.
U dont want her to find you, and you not be looking anymore/

and on and on and on, ect, ect, et, ad nausium

or to say is easily. BS


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