# Question for the Men



## Laura (May 10, 2002)

Here's a question, do men rush immediately to emotionally "protect" women they don't love or care about?

In the past few months this happened to a couple of GFs, men they have very strong feelings with but are not currently romantically involved, dropped everything and handled their emotional crisis. When I saw this man handle things with my friend, then look in her eyes, tell her he will always be there for her and take care of her, then jump in his pick-up and leave, I knew he loved her. She was dazed and confused and in denial. The other one, she went to a man of few words and great passion, mostly for information, the problem was solved the next day. I know it was emotionally draining for him. She was left dazed and confused. 

Are these men in love with these women or are they the kind of men who do this for any damsel in distress? Perceptions can be wrong when emotions run high. I was there and emotions were at crisis point, way more than what I could handle for my friends. 

What I do know about men I learned from my Guy Friends, the stronger they feel toward a woman, the more likely they'll choke when it comes to making those feelings known to her. Until then, WOMEN DON'T KNOW.

Okay, get over that deer caught in the headlights thing and help me out here.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Sorry, I havnt got the remotest idea I can give you. Never had the occasion to be as either man you described.


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## Seth (Dec 3, 2012)

Every guy is different. Depends on the guy, depends on the gal. Seth


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## RiverPines (Dec 12, 2006)

You also have guys that are those knight in shining armor types but when they are not needed anymore they go find another damsel in distress. Then you have the guys that want helpless women. Then the guys that are controlling and start by appearing to care. Then the guys that love all women. Then the guys with other motives. The guys that are just really nice, period. Guys that really fall in love with the girl. 
You have many different types of guys and the same for women. Plus every circumstance is different. 
Best way to judge anyone's quality is overtime, lots and lots of time.


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## wberry85 (Feb 28, 2013)

Sounds a bit fairytaleish to me...like something my wife wants me to do and then I ask her to grab me a beer and she gives me that look. :shrug:


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

Seth said:


> Every guy is different. Depends on the guy, depends on the gal. Seth


You're right in a kinda' noncommittal deer caught in the headlights way.
Many men won't get off the sofa for the woman he says he loves, let alone one from the friend zone. I don't recommend calling those men when we need help. Not quite sure about depending on the gal, love is love. You love her or you don't.

The incidences were emotionally charged. Emotional women are enough to scare most men away. They could've simply talked the women down, and given them a plan for the next day or two, or until they could take care of it. That's not what they did. The men immediately rushed to the emotional fire to end her distress and be her hero. 

Talk to me guys, do men do this for women they don't like?


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

This isn't one of those one size fits all questions. Without getting too deep into pop psych though, as a group, to broad brush it, men are fixers by nature. Women are simpathisers by nature. That's the bio-evolutionary make up. But societal evolution is playing a bigger role these days and that's why you can always find exceptions to the rule.

I would say the extent to which your example men went to, seems to indicate that there was a long time familiarity between these parties. That _could_ be the reason those men seemed to you to go over and above. IDK...Just guessing from 1000 miles away.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

> I would say the extent to which your example men went to, seems to indicate that there was a long time familiarity between these parties. That _could_ be the reason those men seemed to you to go over and above. IDK...Just guessing from 1000 miles away.


Yes, we've all known each other for years, have trust and respect, do stuff, and I chose these men as the ones for the women to call. I am stunned at the intensity of the men's quick responses, emotionally protective actions and fast exits which made the women's heads spin. 

The usual response from brotherly love, or duty, is much slower, some patronizing and putting it off until it's a little more convenient than right now.

Witnessing this and believing the men are in love with these women, and seeing the women dazed, confused and in denial of that love, makes me question my own perceptions of the men who leave me dazed and confused. What am I missing? (Yeah, I know I miss a lot) 

I know you men can't tell me about THESE men, but I'm hoping you can tell me about you and your friends, and share that heart stuff a bit so I can understand better. I haven't talked much to the GFs beyond stating having wonderful friends to help out is awesome. I really wanted to, "FREAKIN' AWESOME HE'S SO IN LOVE WITH YOU!!!" But I could be wrong.


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## Hornacopia (Dec 15, 2012)

Laura said:


> Here's a question, do men rush immediately to emotionally "protect" women they don't love or care about?


I don't think there is a blanket answer to this question, Laura. I do believe that most "good" men will step in to protect any woman in some situations -- chivalry is not completely dead, but it is slowly dying and there are fewer and fewer "good" men. It is our nature to be protectors of women and children, but some have more of that characteristic than others. I think most men are more likely to step into a messy situation, or to put themselves in harm's way, for a woman they love or care about.

I am probably the type of man you are asking about. I have always had more female friends than male friends. They end up being like sisters, even if there may be some sexual attraction. I have two close female friends right now of this type. Both are younger than me, one half my age. She is like a little sister, asks me advice, tells me her secrets. I love both of these women, but I am not "in love" with them. Still, I would do nearly anything for them, including putting my life on the line. I have helped both through recent life upheavals, and that does take an emotional toll on me.

I feel honored that these women allow me this role in their lives. I'm not trying to get something from them, nor am I hiding my feelings about them. We don't put it in words, but I know there is mutual love and caring. There doesn't have to be a physical/romantic relationship to have these feelings for somebody.

What about other men -- "typical" men? Well, I think the answer to that is all over the board. Some men will use a damsel in distress situation to leverage sex or a relationship. I find this despicable. Some men don't have the motivation to step in and help a woman in need, or anybody in need. I find this dishonorable, but I understand that some don't think of others. As was pointed out, some men just seek out damsels in distress habitually and then once they have fixed the problem, they just move on to the next damsel. This is disfunctional, and they are probably filling a need in their psyche to be a rescuer.

I'll be interested in the responses and insight you get on this. As I said, I don't think there is one blanket response.

Horn


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

You're right, there is no blanket answer, no one right answer since men are all individual people. I think it's a topic worthy of discussion to seek understanding of how we miss the connections with each other.

There is this myth floating around that if a man loves us we will KNOW it. Obviously we don't know it, especially if he runs away after his heroic deed.
With brotherly love heroic deeds, we will have a jolly debriefing.


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## Twp.Tom (Dec 29, 2010)

I had always said 'I Love You', to my late wife. And She would usually reply: 'Actions, speak louder than words'. I think the answer is 'What do we consider- True Love'? Anyone can be there for a minute, but being there, 'unconditionally', 'Forever', is a whole different kind of Love.


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## 1shotwade (Jul 9, 2013)

I think you are "thinking outside the box" as seems to be the thing to do these days.Most things need us back in the box. It's not that hard. If you are comfortable with a person you will want them around you more.If both parties feel that way it's good. If one person doesn't feel that way it doesn't work.It doesn't need to get more complicated than that.You women seem to always be searching for that "sign" that you are loved .It is much better to build friendships that may or may not become more if both parties display their true self to each other. Just be friends if you like the person and if there is more there that's great but you can't make it more unless both people feel the same and if you are not already friends it probably won't be a good relationship if it does go farther.Just "get back in the box" and enjoy whatever relationship you have.

Wade


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## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

Oddly this is an area where I, the keeper of all opinions lol, have no real insight. Imagine that.

I've never had any man come to my rescue in any form. I've had a lot of men say, "I wish I could help" and "if there is anything I can do let me know". And then when I have tried to cash in on that I get, "Sorry, wish I could help". 

So I cannot even fathom having one be my hero, much-less wonder why they take off after.

BUT I have had an extraordinary (to me) number of men always tell me how they had a crush on me or were falling in love with me...AFTER it was too late, usually because they decided to get into a relationship. And it's not something they say to make me feel good...they are usually floored when they found out I felt the same way.

If someone doesn't flat out tell me something or make it obvious, I usually will not assume.

It just happened again last week from someone I have worked with over the last year. He got back with one of his ex's after being single for two years then decides he wants to tell me that he's been enamored by me for a year when he can't do anything about it...which was also his choice. And you can't tell me I was "unapproachable" with this one because at one point last summer we were skinny dipping together. I don't get much more approachable than that.

Another one missed....because....? 

The one I knew for sure liked me, first time we met, he couldn't take his eyes off me, come up, introduced himself and within about 30 minutes had me in his arms.

Course then after we started seeing each other.....he was a tad more immature than you'd expect from a 35 year old. Too bad. It was promising for a few months.

In my mind due to my experience, Laura, men don't even do what you have described. But I know they do, I see them do it for most of the women around me. Cept me LOL

I have a friend who has men she doesn't know come to her rescue all of the time. ALL the time. She met a guy the other day that came over night before last to watch a movie, he had packed in a hurry and had stuffed work jeans in his bag that were still dirty so she said she would wash them for him. So in the morning she washed them and put them in the dryer...after the dryer was done, the jeans were still wet. Dryer heating element must have gone out.

He bought her a new dryer today. She's known him two days. She hasn't slept with him (if that's what anyone is thinking). 

After two days of hauling stuff for relocating, I can barely walk.I had to bribe two ex coworkers with money and booze to get them to help me move my dresser and bed tomorrow. 

She was at the gas station on Tuesday when some guy just came up to her and said a woman should never be pumping her own gas. He pumped her gas, washed her windshield and kissed her hand...never even tried to hit on her or get her number or give her his.

Four months ago I was at a gas station with my truck and a flat tire in a dress....underneath the truck trying to get the spare tire off.

A group of men watched the entire process.

:bored:


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## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

HAHAHA! I just thought....you know...if a man showed up, handled my crisis for me and took care of things that men usually take care of I probably would fall instantly in love. "OMG! A capable and caring man! What??"

Perhaps that is why it never happens. They can tell. LOL


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## Darren (May 10, 2002)

"Four months ago I was at a gas station with my truck and a flat tire in a dress....underneath the truck trying to get the spare tire off.

A group of men watched the entire process."

I'd have liked to watch that too. :lookout: It would have been like the devil and angel in Animal House. "Let's watch." "No! Get your  over there and help!" 

It would've been hard, but I'd have asked if you needed help.


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## Shrek (May 1, 2002)

If I am not romantically involved with them , they are not my concern and I keep my nose out of their business and if I am involved with them , I buy them a handgun so they can take care of their own troubles.


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## frogmammy (Dec 8, 2004)

WhyNot said:


> Four months ago I was at a gas station with my truck and a flat tire in a dress....underneath the truck trying to get the spare tire off.
> 
> A group of men watched the entire process.
> 
> :bored:


I understand, completely.

Very long time ago (in Texas) I had car trouble and pulled off the road. Saw a guy on a horse coming my way as I got out and popped the hood on the car. The guy stopped his horse about 15 foot away and sat there while I got my tool bag out and fiddled with the engine. Finally got the thing to start and as I put the tool bag away, the guy says, "Good job!", tips his hat, and rides on by me.

Good grief! It's not even like I knew what I was doing!

Mon


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## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

There are no good Samaritans in Texas. I was helped exactly once on the road with my truck.....a semi pulled over. His plates said Wisconsin too. I miss Wisconsin...the people are more friendly.

There are some people here in the city that try to help....but most of them don't really know anything unfortunately. I've stepped on bugs here for more men than anywhere I've ever been.

I was out for a walk at the dog park one night...a man and woman were in front of me with their dog. It was twilight and a toad....a TOAD jumped up on the concrete walkway out of the grass.

The man jumped, screamed and continued to scream as he ran off with the dog. He was screaming, "Oh my god a creature just jumped at me! A creature just jumped at me!"

I laughed at him so hard right there in front of everyone I actually peed a little. His wife/girlfriend...whatever just glared at me.

Hey..it was funny. There are a lot of "creatures" in the world...glad he's hers, I can't keep up with that sort of emotional maintenance. Besides that, OBVIOUSLY, I am a big meanie since I laughed at him. Course, I am sure what wouldn't be exceedingly tedious and frustrating I would find completely hilarious.


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## doingitmyself (Jul 30, 2013)

To be honest instead of handling the situation FOR you I would be much more inclined to handle it WITH you. Or show you how to handle the tool, the person, the mower, the dog, whatever it was giving you the trouble to start with. I would hope the same woman would have skills that I do not have and be able to help teach me to handle an otherwise tough situation in return.:happy:

On the other hand.

Lord help a man that offers help to one of the "I can do anything a man can" attitudes that a few women carry around. In that situation the proper course of action is to sit back and watch a fool fumble around and generally make a mess of it. :clap:


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## arcticow (Oct 8, 2006)

The point of this whole thing is that, Yes, there are guys like that around. Usually the ones you would least expect. Not the best looking, or most capable, or the most noticeable for any reason... And it's not always a romantic thing... Sometimes it's because of raising, or because they can visualize a sister or daughter being in that situation, or because they can't let a friend go without help. Countless times, I have read or heard "Men won't just listen, they always want to FIX things!" Always as a negative... Yes, we are naturally wired for that, and quite often, as you've seen, it's quietly expressed in a very GOOD way... Just sayin' ...


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Yoy may have som,ething there AC. A guy who isn't naturally handsome, is too short, or too tall, To heavy, or to thin, and has been turned down a few times, might give up, and turn his attention to whatever else it is that interests him. He may become a great mechanic, electricition, plumber, whatever.

I once heard MANY decades ago that SOME men love guns the way SOME men love a woman. Chances are, those types of men are the kinds im speaking of.

The ones who are handsome, funny, care free, fun to be with, are to busy WITH women to take the time to REALLY learn the things that can HELP them.

I musta been beautiful. I was never good at anything. LOL. My bro, who, I think, wasn't as handsome, and such, turned out to be able to do near anything. BUT, he proved to be a no account lying, calculating, cheating, crooked, lousy sucker. Me, just the opposite, for the most part. I was always funny, care free, and so on.


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## Ardie/WI (May 10, 2002)

Laura said:


> You're right, there is no blanket answer, no one right answer since men are all individual people. I think it's a topic worthy of discussion to seek understanding of how we miss the connections with each other.
> 
> There is this myth floating around that if a man loves us we will KNOW it. Obviously we don't know it, especially if he runs away after his heroic deed.
> With brotherly love heroic deeds, we will have a jolly debriefing.


A man may love a woman BUT he doesn't want a commitment. They are scared poop-less of a relationship BUT they want to help that woman out.


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## Jaclynne (May 14, 2002)

frogmammy said:


> I understand, completely.
> 
> Very long time ago (in Texas) I had car trouble and pulled off the road. Saw a guy on a horse coming my way as I got out and popped the hood on the car. The guy stopped his horse about 15 foot away and sat there while I got my tool bag out and fiddled with the engine. Finally got the thing to start and as I put the tool bag away, the guy says, "Good job!", tips his hat, and rides on by me.
> 
> ...




Mon, you just didn't have the right cowboy ride up. 

I was dressed for a wedding (not my own!) one day and had a flat about an hour away from my destination, in the middle of no where. I was looking for a blanket or something to put on the ground to preserve my dress as I got the spare out from under the truck. A cowboy rides up, get off, motions for me to stand aside, and gets down to do the job for me. Nothing said. 

When the spare would not loosen, something bent. He gets up, says, 

"Stay right here ma'am, I'm riding home and will be back with the truck and tools." 

Off he goes, riding hell for leather. In about 10 minutes, he was back and got things finished. Wouldn't accept pay, so I got his name and sent thank you card.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

The problem with "Just get back in the box" for the 35 and older crowd is we were in the box at one time. The box was shaken severely and dumped like a dice cup. The ability to trust our own judgments and perceptions after choosing THAT box is difficult. Choosing another box while experiencing sensory impairment (knowing we are loved), experiencing fear of boxes or like some people, freaking out because they realize they need a box.

Both men and women have an acute fear of rejection and loss when it comes to their hearts. 

Generally speaking here, I don't want anyone's panties in a wad, women are refusing the positives they feel, see and are offered because there are so many mixed messages given. They trust the negative though. Men will hold their cards close to their chests, play one card at a time and reshuffle after showing us a card. We're supposed to know what game this is? Indian Poker or 52 Card Monty? If a man doesn't really care all that much about the outcome because his heart's not invested and he's attracted, he'll flash 6 aces from a marked deck. 



> Lord help a man that offers help to one of the "I can do anything a man can" attitudes that a few women carry around. In that situation the proper course of action is to sit back and watch a fool fumble around and generally make a mess of it.


 This is why we women need to ASK for help when we need it. Too many men have been chewed up and spit out for their chivalry. This is also why I made my GFs make the calls themselves and not do it for them like they wanted. These independent, competent professional women can push themselves in the field also need to learn to ask and receive from men, something totally outside their comfort zones.

Yes, my Guy Friends are the chivalrous men who stop for people broke down on the side of the road and offer help, make a call for them, give a ride or do the repair on a dark rainy night. (I'm not sure exactly what men do now since there aren't carburators to fiddle with when the car won't start) 

What I saw with these Guy Friends and my Girl Friends was different. No thought, no talking it through, no plan, no "I'll be there when I finish what I'm doing." A better response time than our fire department and from farther away, and by far better results than our FD, then POOF, he's gone. No 3 hour mop up and debriefing with the gang.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Its true, men are bad about comeing and going lol


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

Ardie/WI said:


> A man may love a woman BUT he doesn't want a commitment. They are scared poop-less of a relationship BUT they want to help that woman out.


Are you saying these men ARE in love with these women but are terrified of asking for the commitment? Guys do you agree with this assessment?

Yes, I really am built this obtuse, I don't know if I am more or less obtuse than my GFs.


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## arcticow (Oct 8, 2006)

I think that was just a general statement. Only the guys know for sure what they feel... IF there is any such emotion, they will let it be known when they believe the ladies are open to hearing it. But they aren't any better at reading minds than any other men, so they kinda need an opening or a prompt, most likely... Unless you want to get all tangled up playing Cupid, I advise letting Nature take its course... My 2 cents' worth, whatever that does...


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## Brighton (Apr 14, 2013)

Laura said:


> Are you saying these men ARE in love with these women but are terrified of asking for the commitment? Guys do you agree with this assessment?
> 
> Yes, I really am built this obtuse, I don't know if I am more or less obtuse than my GFs.


I read this thread like 14 times before posting, and while I am a woman, not a man, I have perspective from years lived and being at times helped my men who where close neighbors or friends. These men are not in "love" with the woman they helped they are in "empathy" and a look of empathy can look a lot like a look of love.

They help, because that is what a lot of men do, so do a lot of women.


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## willow_girl (Dec 7, 2002)

A funny story from my (distant!) past: Years ago when I was single, I bought a little house in the country and started fixing it up. I made arrangements with an old farmer who lived up the road to deliver a dump truck load of compost for my new garden. When he showed up, there was a fellow around my age riding along with him. He introduced himself and struck up a conversation with me, and (being the chatty type) I happily told him all of my plans for my little place, mentioning that the next project I had in mind was to rip out the ugly, overgrown shrubs in the planter boxes around the porch. Eventually they left, and I went to work planting my garden, and didn't think anything further of it.

I went away the next weekend (to shack up with a dude I was seeing, who lived in another town!) and came home to find the shrubs had been removed and the planter boxes neatly filled with compost. There was a note stuck in my door that said, "You're welcome. Dinner?" with the guy's name and phone number. It took a moment for me to place him -- it was the fellow who had been riding along with the farmer! I found out later that he lived nearby, had seen me working in my yard a lot, and had finagled an introduction. We ended up dating a bit that summer and he was a nice guy, although not the right one for me.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

I'll try to paint a more clear word picture for what I saw. The last time I saw anything like this was last fall when I was in two weeks of training. The trainer commuted more than 100 miles. She also had her own clients when she got back to her town, elderly dying mother and FIL to provide care for, 3 children under 11 and a working husband. 

One morning at first break we noticed her tiddlywink pouring tranny fluid all over the parking lot. Being an empathetic bunch, we offered her what we had and a whole lot of moral support, none of which solved her true problem as her world began to spin out. Her face lit up as she pulled out her phone and said, "I got this!" She called her husband. 

From the time the beautiful woman made the call to the time her husband arrived with a flatbed car hauler, his bud and his mother's shiny Mercedes, we KNEW he dropped everything and delivered! He was there before lunch even though technically, she didn't need the car until 4:15. He'd also made arrangements for the kids, parents and dinner. She was a happy woman!

25 trainees went WOW, that's what it looks like! That event changed things for many of us.

This is what I saw done for my GFs by the Guy Friends.

It's one thing to do things for your friends when it's convenient, or you happen by, it may be entertaining or interesting, or you may profit, or your angling an agenda or there's no cost to you.

What's the motivation when there's high risks of pain and loss and nothing to gain?


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

I think some people truly make every effort to live by the golden rule.


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## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

So Laura-
This woman or these women...I forget which now...what do you suppose would happen if they asked one of these rescuers to join them for a movie?

Would they clam up?

To me....if a man helped me often, especially with emotional crisis several times and looked me in the eyes and told me he'd always be there for me..... After things settled down I'd make some sort of "move" to know him better out of crisis mode. Like coffee or a movie.

I also think Mr. Bill here is spot on with some things. I think a lot of people...like me..end up frustrated with this trying to date or whatever and just move on. My hobbies are a mile long....and I'm generally very good at all of them. It also makes me (apparently) non-marketable with the guys because I can fix my own sink and can follow the directions to fix a dryer, etc.

So even when one of the men that has spent the majority of his time doodling and fiddling and educating himself on fixing these types of things finds out I do to, I think they figure they have "nothing to offer"...perhaps because they also think they aren't handsome. 

And these guys that pick women up at gas stations over and over again...that's all they know...so they can't help me put a muffler on a car either. Actually it's not that they couldn't....it's that they don't know how and won't let you teach them. They just leave while you're getting the hydraulic jack out LOL.

I had a great guy once. Kevin. Pretty convinced it would have been the long haul with him. He was by best friend, I could or could have done all the things he did but it was wonderful to watch him out the kitchen window while I was canning, mowing....working on the car, etc. Driving the dirt roads on adventures, finding out of the way camping spots..just enjoying being with each other. 

Since he passed away...have had nothing like that again. Which is unfortunate because it's really nice.

I just moved in with a very good female friend of mine, she's the one that isn't allowed to pump her own gas because she is so pretty. She decided she felt bad for me one day because men don't stop me while I'm crossing the street and ask for my number (which happens to her a lot). Told her not to feel bad for me....the types of men she has met like that have all turned out to be idiots.

I think their subconscious knows this and these men simply don't hit on me...the ones that I'd like better and who are probably better all around men.....are busy doing man things LOL


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## Darren (May 10, 2002)

You may have something there, WhyNot. Some men find a capable woman intimidating. For the few that don't, someone like you would make a great partner.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

When I was in HS, I had blonde, kinky hair. When they invented brillo pads then, that's what they called me, I had freckles bad then too. AND I had asthma. I couldn't see any girl being interested in me. I was in school while I had asthma for 1/2 the time, and completely healthy when school was out and I was on the farm and never went anywhere that there were girls. SO, I came to believe that there was no since in throwing myself at a girl since she could plainly see all my bad faults, and I couldn't hide them. It wasn't until I was in my mid 20s that my face cleared up, and my hair became wavy. By then tho, when I finally realized that I was handsome, I blamed girls for not takeing an interest in me for the things that were inside of me. It didn't matter that I avoided getting to close to them so that they MIGHT notice what made me tick, I just felt that IF they had been interested when I looked bad, but wernt, they didn't diserve to have a chance at me now that I had changed.
I would bait girls, with looks, and acting like I was interested in them on Sats, when we went to St Joe, just to see how far they would go trying to show me they were interested. It wasn't until I was in my 40s that I realized that that had come back to bite me. By then, I was in a new game with different rules. Women didn't care to show interest in a guy. The guy had to do all the showing interest. My old fears came back to haunt me. I still had the asthma, and consequently figured that no woman would stick around when they found out I would get deathly sick in the fall. The shoe was on the other foot by then. It was the women baiting me. They likely didn't do it on purpose, but who knows.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

> So Laura-
> This woman or these women...I forget which now...what do you suppose would happen if they asked one of these rescuers to join them for a movie?


I don't know, that's why I'm asking. I want more input before predicting probabilities on my ever-changing perceptions.

These are not women prone to asking men for help in their personal lives. Professionally, they are directors and darn good at it. When they step in everyone knows how it's going to be and it will run smoothly. The same with the men, often they are the boss depending on the project. Most all of us know each other through everyone's multiple income streams working as teams of 2-6 people, group social time and 2 person on the clock time.

But their relationships and social lives of the women? Eh, they ask for my advice? :facepalm: That bad. From their perceptions, I appear to know what the heck I'm doing. "Honey, your role is to look good and make your man look good through this ordeal, nothing more. Paste on the smile and keep it there."

I want you men to know once we women grow up, we find Red Green types the most handsome, sexiest men on earth. It's not your outside, it's your inside we see.

I have a funny to share that's had me giggling since last night. A few weeks ago at another site a man posted a thread of the same title, A Question for the Men. Of course it was immediately answered by 16 women. I sat on my hands until a couple of men answered. The question was about how men respond to women who operated in masculine energy. :facepalm: My comment was men who are more masculine don't notice or find it attractive. (watch a Jack & Jill logging team)

A woman posted asking how we're supposed to know we operate in masculine energy?

My Reply? We women answering on a thread titled, Question for the Men? Here's our sign!:hysterical: Hey THEY liked it, I hope ya'll are giggling with me too! I appreciate everyone's answers.

I think what made me think of this is you can't call a contractor for an emotional meltdown. These masculine men JUMPED when these highly attractive masculine energied women went girly and asked for help. They didn't only sooth the emotions, they dealt with the issues causing the distress. It was something they could DO for the women that no other man could do. The women called THEM! 

Okay men, how do you approach the situation when you have the soulmate thing going for a woman and she calls for your help?


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

They never call & ask for help,,,,They usually call to tell me I need help!!

Guess that's kinda the same thing,,huh??


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## arcticow (Oct 8, 2006)

I say "Yes'm, hold on a minute baby..." and tend to whatever it is Miz Lesley wants... It's called cherishing one another...


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## willow_girl (Dec 7, 2002)

> Okay men, how do you approach the situation when you have the soulmate thing going for a woman and she calls for your help?


Numb and I were friends IRL for more than 5 years before we got together. For most of that time, he had a longtime GF and I was engaged and then married to someone else. Since my husband had NO interest in homesteading or my farm, Numb was the one I turned to whenever I had a crisis, or just needed a second pair of hands to do something, or wanted an opinion on something I was fixin' to buy.

In all that time, he was every bit the gentleman ... there was no loose talk, not even a hint of impropriety.

After we got together, one time out of curiosity I asked if he'd ever had feelings for me during those years. He just smiled and said, "I always came every time you called, didn't I?" and wouldn't say anything more.


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## tiffnzacsmom (Jan 26, 2006)

Anytime I've ever popped the hood of my car along the road, and once in front of my house, some man has pulled over to help. I have a number of male friends that would stop everything if I called, mainly because I don't make a habit of needing help. Some of these men I've known since junior high and some only a year or so, I've been involved with some but not others but they are all good friends and I would do the same for them. Yep they love me and I love them like I love my cousins.


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## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

huh. Well girly or not when I ask for help for personal things men hide lol.

Case in point...three men texted me on Friday to ask what I was doing this weekend, if I would want to go out. I answered back that I was moving and slowly but surely getting it done by myself but if they wanted to help me for a couple of hours then I would be able to be done and go out with them.

Haven't heard from them since. 

My roomate can see I physically hurt from moving due to my conditions. She has a man coming over today to fix a window. She says, "No...today you are not moving more things, let him do it." My instant reaction, "Yeah...we'll we will see if he shows up."

That's the sad part. You get tired of asking and not getting...so you start to assume everyone is like that.


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

Or it's easier to just do it yourself and not be disappointed.

I did have a male friend, years ago, that would drop everything and come running no matter what hour I called. It was nothing more than just friends, of that I am sure. No hidden agenda, unrequited love or anything other than just the fact that we were darn good friends. I miss that.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

willow_girl said:


> Numb and I were friends IRL for more than 5 years before we got together. For most of that time, he had a longtime GF and I was engaged and then married to someone else. Since my husband had NO interest in homesteading or my farm, Numb was the one I turned to whenever I had a crisis, or just needed a second pair of hands to do something, or wanted an opinion on something I was fixin' to buy.
> 
> In all that time, he was every bit the gentleman ... there was no loose talk, not even a hint of impropriety.
> 
> ...


Perfect example of how close men play it close to the chest as 
they invest their hearts in their future? When you became available, he was right there!



> I did have a male friend, years ago, that would drop everything and come running no matter what hour I called. It was nothing more than just friends, of that I am sure. No hidden agenda, unrequited love or anything other than just the fact that we were darn good friends. I miss that.


 To you he was "Just a Friend." How do you know how he truly felt in his heart toward you? If you gave him "Friend" status, he could never SAY his feelings, he could only knock himself out for you and hope you would catch on.

The problem is we have calluses on our hearts and scales on our eyes, speak different languages, become ruled by fears and cannot see, hear or feel Love.



> That's the sad part. You get tired of asking and not getting...so you start to assume everyone is like that.


 There are a lot of selfish people in the world who want to get and will never give. They aren't your friends and they aren't worthy of your time even for a few hours. They want something from you and it's not your heart. I think you did well asking for their help before accepting a date with them, a sorting tool. You put a price on your time. POOF is a good thing!

I think you identified the biggest problem for some of us women. We became accustomed to selfish men, we expect that from ALL of them. We put up the walls (all men are the same), and when one doesn't fit in that thought box, he's Friend Zoned forever. If he tips the corner of a card to give us a peek of his King of Hearts, we don't take him seriously. We perceive him as "Playing." Maybe he is, maybe he isn't, how the heck are we supposed to know? Ask if he has the Queen and Jack in his pocket?!!?

Both these women as they were entering meltdown mode and wanting *me* to call a man started babbling off lists of men's names. 100% bad choices for getting a grip on the situation. Selfish men who wouldn't want to get off their sofa, men not emotionally equipped for it, men who would expect sex as "fair exchange." The men they hadn't named and who I insisted *THEY call* themselves were in their contact lists already. I had the men's numbers on scraps of paper at home.

See how screwy our perceptions can be?

I've also experienced this balls to the walls response and equally quick exit. It's confusing. It's way different than the slower, quiet Brotherly Love given by my guy friends who have no sexual interest in me, but as Horn described, a little faux romantic play.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

I miss when I was younger. It seems that meeting someone was so much easier then it is today. I blame the internet. People are less social in real life and unapproachable. 
I know that what I said has nothing to do with your question.LOL I just wanted to comment....LOL!!


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

Fowler said:


> I miss when I was younger. It seems that meeting someone was so much easier then it is today. I blame the internet. People are less social in real life and unapproachable.
> I know that what I said has nothing to do with your question.LOL I just wanted to comment....LOL!!


Yes, Young and Dumb was wonderful compared to this Old and Stupid crap! :stars:


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Awwww...to be dumb, I know too much now.....LOL!!!


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

Laura said:


> To you he was "Just a Friend." How do you know how he truly felt in his heart toward you? If you gave him "Friend" status, he could never SAY his feelings, he could only knock himself out for you and hope you would catch on.


Well, because he was head over heels in love with a good friend of mine.  I spent many hours being his shoulder to cry on while she choose to ignore what a great person he was. He didn't have the money to suit her family's status.  A week after she married money she called me up crying about how she should have stuck with Mark and I told her that yes she should have and she really screwed up.


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## swamp man (Dec 25, 2005)

Shrek said:


> If I am not romantically involved with them , they are not my concern and I keep my nose out of their business and if I am involved with them , I buy them a handgun so they can take care of their own troubles.


Disliked
If you're a man and they're a woman, concern for them is a birth right. Taking care of the women and the children is our only reason for being here. I can be as cold-blooded as a snaketo a man, feel his bones break under my knuckles, and feel not the slightest pity. With women, as soon as i see that bottom lip quiverin', i am, by God, on the task at hand. What kind of man would I be if iwasn't? It aint a martyresque thing....every opportunity to help a woman is a blessing to be grateful for. If the message is misconstrued, i can't help it.


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

Where have you been all my life!! ^^^^^ 
THAT is the 'man' I can't wait to cook for, that I love cleaning house for, that I can't wait till he gets home from work, and just melt into and lose track of time with.
Being as I'm no cry baby.....and I am a pretty tough old female dog, by God when that lip does quiver?
It's for real, legit. Not a game.

Oh noble Knight, where art thou? Doth he even exist?


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## swamp man (Dec 25, 2005)

Laura Zone 5 said:


> Where have you been all my life!! ^^^^^
> THAT is the 'man' I can't wait to cook for, that I love cleaning house for, that I can't wait till he gets home from work, and just melt into and lose track of time with.
> Being as I'm no cry baby.....and I am a pretty tough old female dog, by God when that lip does quiver?
> It's for real, legit. Not a game.
> ...


Where? I've been here, there, and all over. I've not hit on you becaause you're intelligent and sharp of wit, and i done spent 11 years with a super-genious. Had iapplied my superpowers, yoh
U'd be wandeng around my bedroom, looking for your panties, and calculating how to win the next argument.. i'vd been through it, yoju tantalizing catch.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

swamp man said:


> Disliked
> If you're a man and they're a woman, concern for them is a birth right. Taking care of the women and the children is our only reason for being here. I can be as cold-blooded as a snaketo a man, feel his bones break under my knuckles, and feel not the slightest pity. With women, as soon as i see that bottom lip quiverin', i am, by God, on the task at hand. What kind of man would I be if iwasn't? It aint a martyresque thing....every opportunity to help a woman is a blessing to be grateful for. If the message is misconstrued, i can't help it.


So, Knight in Shining Armor, Collector of Damsels' Hearts, your dazzling acts of heroism are not neccessarily acts of True Love?

My bottom lip is quivering.


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## arcticow (Oct 8, 2006)

Some of us are immune to quivers and tears, but have a good sense of when we're really needed, and not just there to pour salve on emotions...


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## swamp man (Dec 25, 2005)

No. Not ttue love in the romantic sense. It genuinely bothers me ti see an upset woman. It comrs with the package, so to speak. As men, we are gra ted some strengths along with our numerous weaknesses. Those strengths are here to assist the ladies.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

swamp man said:


> No. Not ttue love in the romantic sense. It genuinely bothers me ti see an upset woman. It comrs with the package, so to speak. As men, we are gra ted some strengths along with our numerous weaknesses. Those strengths are here to assist the ladies.


Now you've blown my theory out of the water, we'll tack starboard, full sail and chop the waves!

Men, this is what women want and need even if they don't know it. Step up, step in and create emotional safety for a lady and she will ride or die with you. You don't HAVE to wait until she asks.

Fail to recognize or meet this feminine need of emotional safety, expect her to emasculate you with her teeth! :fussin:


Yesterday was a wonderful day of RL conversations with the girls on shifting paradigms to "This is what love looks like." Even if these chivalrous men are not In Love with them, they Love. These women have selfish men taking up their space and it ain't pretty. Blood and gore and veins in their teeth!

These women told me I have really good insight to this stuff and thanked me. I wish to extend appreciation to ST Friends who allow me to poke and prod until you feel like you're hanging by your toes at the end of the plank ready to be shark food.


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## Brighton (Apr 14, 2013)

Laura said:


> Men, this is what women want and need even if they don't know it. Step up, step in and create emotional safety for a lady and she will ride or die with you. You don't HAVE to wait until she asks.


No, I do not agree with statement at all, I do not need to be rescued, my emotional safety is my own to take care of. I can and do take care of pretty much everything on our farm, and when I need help I ask for it, but I can tell you that I don't call a MAN to help with my emotional safety, I call them when I can't get a new Serpentine Belt on my truck because I am to short to reach that far into my truck, or when after watching a million YouTube videos I can't figure out why my old Cub tractor won't start. And these men, men I have known all my life know by the sound of the issue or my voice if they need to "offer" come help me and let me accept help or just tell me how to fix something over the phone.


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## NoClue (Jan 22, 2007)

They probably care on at least some level, but it doesn't necessarily imply love.

There are also a lot of reasons a guy might love a woman but not tell her. _Amor vincit omnia_ (love conguers all) may very well be true but _Amor confundit omnia_ (love complicates everything) is just as true in my experience. In my case, when I have strong feelings for a woman and don't tell her, it's either because I don't actually realize how strong those feelings are, or there is some reason why I believe it would be ill-advised or a relationship would be non-viable. (My life right now is playing out a variation on this theme).


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Brighton, What year Cub do you have? I have a 50 Demonstrator, and I can tell you what you already likely know. When they don't run right, the carbs a bear to get right again. Seems like the smaller the carb is, the harder it is to set.


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## Brighton (Apr 14, 2013)

FarmboyBill said:


> Brighton, What year Cub do you have? I have a 50 Demonstrator, and I can tell you what you already likely know. When they don't run right, the carbs a bear to get right again. Seems like the smaller the carb is, the harder it is to set.


I have a 1964 Cub with a belly mower, and I know the carb has always been hinky, it runs fine right now, I was just using that as one example of when I actually had to call a Man to help me.

It looks like this one Bill, except it has the belly mower.

http://www.tractordata.com/farm-tractors/000/2/8/288-international-harvester-cub.html


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## swamp man (Dec 25, 2005)

arcticow said:


> I say "Yes'm, hold on a minute baby..." and tend to whatever it is Miz Lesley wants... It's called cherishing one another...


Good man


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## Darren (May 10, 2002)

NoClue said:


> They probably care on at least some level, but it doesn't necessarily imply love.
> 
> There are also a lot of reasons a guy might love a woman but not tell her. _Amor vincit omnia_ (love conguers all) may very well be true but _Amor confundit omnia_ (love complicates everything) is just as true in my experience. In my case, when I have strong feelings for a woman and don't tell her, it's either because I don't actually realize how strong those feelings are, or there is some reason why I believe it would be ill-advised or a relationship would be non-viable. (My life right now is playing out a variation on this theme).


In the past year I put in a water system which required jack hammering a trench through rock through a ravine, ran a trench from a well to the house for a gas line and helped put in the septic tank for a woman I'd been involved with for 12 years. The relationship ended three years ago. Although all of the signs are there it could resume, it's not happening. Way too much water over the dam along with me with it.

I help because I care. I don't like her being jammed up. That doesn't mean love on my part and a till death does us part.


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

Double True


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

AND they'll beleve your doing it for a reason that benefits YOU, lol


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## lmrose (Sep 24, 2009)

This an interesting read. I known one man who is a true hero. The one who married me and became an instant father to my four children. He was a single fellow happily living on the dairy farm where he grew up ; out back mowing hay and singing to the cows. He was also about to buy out the farm from his parents so they could retire. He had some health problems but life was pretty good. We met through writing and soon found we liked the same things. But I lived 2000 miles away in a city and in dangerous part of the city. Our lives were always threatened and I endured horrible attacks in order to protect my children. The man I married asked me to marry him before we ever met in person. He decided to get us out of danger. Doing so cost him his farm and livelihood as he was asked to leave. We were not acceptable to proper people. He sent for us, paid all my back rent and expenses to get us here to Nova Scotia from Michigan. We arrived on the 4th of July and were married July 9th 1978. We had seen each other three times before we married and went home to an island to be Light House Keepers.. That was 43 years ago. There have many trials and hardships and sickness. But there has always been good and happy times too. Most important in time we fell deeply in love. Now as we get old and his health hangs by a thread it is my turn to take care of him. Everyone who knew us said this marriage would fail but it didn't. We thrived with God helping and guiding our lives. Heroes aren't the people we normally think of as being so. They aren't always the wealthy, or the sophisticated or dashing handsome men that take charge of every situation. Sometimes they appear as a shy farm boy who loved his horse and cows and had deep compassion and empathy. My husband Bill is a true hero and always will be to me.


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

so happy for you Rose. my first husband was a wonderful man also and i looked after him to the end. i dont quite get the "proper people" though. (as far as i know you live in yarmouth county. i've never really been there though . just drove through on the way camping) and all i've heard is they are the kindest people. it's likely something we dont know and dont need to know. ~Georgia


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## NRA_guy (Jun 9, 2015)

Men do not have a clue what women mean by "love". 

It's just something we reply with when a woman says that she loves us: "Uh, I love you, too."

Read the attached excerpt from an old Reader's Digest.
-----------------------------------------
What Women Don't Understand About Guys
by Dave Barry
(Reader's Digest, January 1996, pp 109-11)

Contrary to what many women believe, it's easy to develop a long-term, intimate and mutually fulfilling relationship with a guy. Of course, this guy has to be a Labrador Retriever. With human guys, it's extremely difficult. This is because guys don't really grasp what women mean by the term relationship.

Let's say a guy named Roger asks a women named Elaine out to a movie. She accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later, he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and soon neither is seeing anybody else.

Then one evening, when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine. She says: "Do you realize that we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"

Silence fills the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself, "Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he feels confined by our relationship. Maybe he thinks that I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation."

And Roger is thinking: "Gosh. Six Months."

And Elaine is thinking: "But hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship either. Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really know this person?"

And Roger is thinking: "So that means it was... let's see... February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means... lemme check the odometer... Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here."

And Elaine is thinking: "He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship—more intimacy, more commitment. Maybe he senses my reservations. Yes, that's it. He's afraid of being rejected."

And Roger is thinking: "I'm going to have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say—it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent, thieving cretins six hundred dollars!"

And Elaine is thinking: "He's angry, and I don't blame him. I'd be angry too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure."

And Roger is thinking: "They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty. That's what they're gonna say!"

And Elaine is thinking: "Maybe I'm too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting next to a perfectly good person who's in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl fantasy."

And Roger is thinking: "Warranty? I'll give them a warranty!"

"Roger," Elaine says aloud.

"What?" says Roger.

"I'm such a fool," Elaine says, sobbing. "I mean, I know there's no knight and there's no horse."

"There's no horse?" says Roger.

"You think I'm a fool, don't you?" says Elaine.

"No!" Roger says, glad to know the correct answer.

"It's just that... I need some time," Elaine says.

There is a 15-second pause while Roger tries to come up with a safe response. "Yes," he finally says.

Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand. "Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?"

"What way?" says Roger.

"That way about time," Elaine says.

"Oh," says Roger, "Yes."

Elaine gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last, she says, "Thank You, Roger."

"Thank you," he responds.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted soul weeping until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of chips, turns on the TV and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czech players he never heard of. A tiny voice in his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he figures it's better not to think about it.

The next day, Elaine will call her closest friend, and they will talk for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said. They will continue to discuss this subject for weeks, never reaching any definite conclusions but never getting bored with it either.

Meanwhile, Roger, playing racquetball one day with a friend of his and Elaine's will pause just before serving and ask, "Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?"

We're not talking about different wavelengths here. We're talking about completely different planets in completely different solar systems. Elaine cannot communicate meaningfully with Roger because the sum total of his thinking about relationships is Huh?

He has a guy brain, basically an analytical problem-solving organ. It's not comfortable with nebulous concepts such as love, need and trust. If the guy brain has to form an opinion about another person, it prefers to base it on facts, such as his or her earned-run average.

Women have trouble accepting this. They are convinced that guys must spend a certain amount of time thinking about the relationship. How could a guy see another human being day after day, night after night, and not be thinking about the relationship? This is what women figure.

They are wrong. A guy in a relationship is like an ant standing on top of a truck tire. The ant is aware that something large is there, but he cannot even dimly comprehend what it is. And if the truck starts moving and the tire starts to roll, the ant will sense that something important is happening, but right up until he rolls to the bottom and is squashed, the only thought in his tiny brain will be Huh?

Thus the No. 1 tip for women to remember is never assume the guy understands that you and he have a relationship. You have to plant the idea in his brain by constantly making subtle references to it, such as:

"Roger, would you mind passing me the sugar, inasmuch as we have a relationship?"

"Wake up, Roger! There's a prowler in the den and we have a relationship! You and I do, I mean."

"Good news, Roger! The doctor says we're going to have our fourth child—another indication that we have a relationship!"

"Roger, inasmuch as this plane is crashing and we have only a minute to live, I want you to know that we've had a wonderful 53 years of marriage together, which clearly constitutes a relationship."

Never let up, women. Pound away relentlessly at this concept, and eventually it will start to penetrate the guy's brain. Someday he might even start thinking about it on his own. He'll be talking with some other guys about women, and out of the blue, he'll say, "Elaine and I, we have, ummm... We have, ahhh... We have this thing."

And he will sincerely mean it.


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## muleskinner2 (Oct 7, 2007)

Laura said:


> emotionally "protect" women


It is instinctual more than emotional. It is hard wired into our DNA. If it wasn't, we would have died off thousands of years ago.


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## Evons hubby (Oct 3, 2005)

RiverPines said:


> Then the guys that love all women.


that would be me!


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## 7UP guy (Jul 23, 2021)

*some of "US" are like Mcgiver...we are fix it men and like some of the other posts there is no blanket answer. *


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## 54metalman (Jul 12, 2011)

I cannot answer for the other men. I myself fall into the "Fix it" catagory sometimes. Mainly I like to help anyone. Especially women and children. I believe they need to be protected. I will say this. I helped a female friend of mine. She was very unsure about it at first. She had some very rough excperiences with so called "men" helping in the past. They would only help if she paid back in "favors". Long story short, it took some time for her to know I was safe and let me help. Well I helped once and she didnt want it at all! I Bought a part she needed for her truck. No big deal I thought. I was wrong!! She is now mad at me and wont talk to me now. I dont know what to do. I have never had someone react this way to help. ??????


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## Danaus29 (Sep 12, 2005)

Hey @54metalman , it's been a while since you stopped in to say hi. How have you been?

Its awful hard to fix a broken person. The best you can do is give her a copy of the recipt for the part and tell her she can pay it whenever she has the money.


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## 54metalman (Jul 12, 2011)

Danaus29 said:


> Hey @54metalman , it's been a while since you stopped in to say hi. How have you been?
> 
> Its awful hard to fix a broken person. The best you can do is give her a copy of the recipt for the part and tell her she can pay it whenever she has the money.


Hey how are you? Yes its been awhile. She gave me double what the starter cost the next day. I told her it was too much and she wouldnt take it back. I am giving her spaceand hope she will talk to me again. We have soo much in common and likes that I really dont want to loose this friendship even if it is only a few months old.


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## Danaus29 (Sep 12, 2005)

I've been good. Still trying to keep kicking and surviving this crazy world.

I'm sorry she is reading more into it than friendship. Maybe putting a potted miniature rose on her doorstep with a note would help. 

I wish you luck. The kind of wounds she carries seem to never completely heal over.


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## Evons hubby (Oct 3, 2005)

54metalman said:


> Hey how are you? Yes its been awhile. She gave me double what the starter cost the next day. I told her it was too much and she wouldnt take it back. I am giving her spaceand hope she will talk to me again. We have soo much in common and likes that I really dont want to loose this friendship even if it is only a few months old.


Has it occurred to you that space isn’t what she wants?! How rude of you to not demand favors!


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## Danaus29 (Sep 12, 2005)

You forgot your sarcasm smiley.


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## 54metalman (Jul 12, 2011)

Evons hubby said:


> Has it occurred to you that space isn’t what she wants?! How rude of you to not demand favors!


I have thought about that but decided to the oppisite of what my being is telling me to do. Lord knows I dont always think it through. Hense the helping without asking first.


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## Big_John (Dec 1, 2021)

I'm from a HUGE family, all raised with southern manners and values. I have about 14 nephews.... 4 of them are "man-whores" and horrible marriage material. They will manipulate women to get the free milk, including helping them move their furniture or take the trash out.

Of the 10 remaining, about 6 are just phenomenal Boy Scouts, willing to drop everything and help. They are single, so they always, tend to help ladies in need. All the while... these 6 young men are just a little awkward with gals. They will be phenomenal husbands, as they will cherish their eventual wife and treat her like a princess.

The remaining 4 are just normal young men.

So as some have said above.... men are very different. 

Flipping cards, nearly all women are rarely attracted to the 6 young men I describe above. Most young woman are drawn to the 4 Man Whores .... and they will all be burned for it. Very few women in their 20's are truly looking for a super great husband, who will end up being their.... "Forever".

There ya go... that's my rant.... 'Cause I was one of the Boy Scouts. Thank God, He brought me the gal of my dreams and we have been in Love/Lust for 33 years.


......


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

funny how so many women disregard the good ones and go for the bad boys everytime. my step daughter was like that. she went through 500k of the money her father gave her to go towards her retirement just trying to keep them around. the last one wouldn't even come to see her on her deathbed. so glad they passed by a couple of mine. ~Georgia


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