# Are You "Done With All That"?



## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

I've heard so many women my age and younger (!) declare, "I'm so done with that!'. (physical intimacy) 

I think this is so sad, as I've always considered this facet an important aspect of a healthy, heterosexual, committed relationship. Even at age 63, I'd hoped my love life wasn't over yet! (It isn't!)

So. . . . Are you "So done with that"? Why?


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

Well, I sure hope not.


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

Well, I don't wanna be but not into casual and I'm alone.:Bawling:


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## WolfWalksSoftly (Aug 13, 2004)

Could be, for the time being anyway. I remember an old saying.. What matters is your first and last experience. 
I'm almost to the point that I don't remember either one.


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

I'm DONE with 'high school sex'.
I'm w/ roadless......I am not into casual sex, just not my cup of tea.

However......what I AM ready for......I am ready for, right now. lol


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## WolfWalksSoftly (Aug 13, 2004)

I would hope that you are no longer interested in high school boys... (puts arms up to protect himself).


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## Nsoitgoes (Jan 31, 2016)

Not just no, but H E double hockey sticks no! and I'm 69. There seems to be a myth (pretty sure it was invented by a man) that once women reach a "certain age" they say "Thank Goodness that's over with" and quit. I only know two women for whom that was true. Most of my lady friends complain that their men can't keep up.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Mom complained that dad had quit. Course, mom was in her mid 70s at the time and looked 90. That couldn't have had nothing to do with it, NAW


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## WolfWalksSoftly (Aug 13, 2004)

Thanks for the laugh.


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

Good grief Bill....


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## Nsoitgoes (Jan 31, 2016)

Most women looked older then than they do now at the same age. They had a much harder life than we do now, and there weren't as many products to keep our skins looking good. 

That said - I bet your dad wasn't a peach to look at, either. As I said - there are probably more men that can't than women that don't want to.


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## WolfWalksSoftly (Aug 13, 2004)

Well, I can, but won't. Because I don't. I Probably should take another trip to church before the out of towner start coming to my river.


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## Alice Kramden (Mar 26, 2008)

Don't wanna be, trying hard to find someone. Want more than quickies, too, this time around. Want someone to stay around for a long time, and make it special. Long term relationship, they call it now. Been so long, I've bout forgotten how. :ashamed:


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Dad was still a handsome man regardless of his age. he , like me aged well. His hair was coal black up into his 50s. Fonzie would have been jelious.. That said, he never had no use for me other than work, and left me with near nothing when he died, so don't think that im sideing with him just because, cause I aint. Fats is fats. Mom was 10yrs older than he. And yes, I suspect she had a hard life.


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## rkintn (Dec 12, 2002)

FarmboyBill said:


> Mom complained that dad had quit. Course, mom was in her mid 70s at the time and looked 90. That couldn't have had nothing to do with it, NAW



It's quite possible it had nothing to do with it. It is my understanding that undiagnosed medical issues in senior men can cause problems in "that" area.


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## WolfWalksSoftly (Aug 13, 2004)

Did your dad raise any sheep Bill?


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

I don't ever plan to be "done with all that." It may happen, but not by my choice. However, I have good reason to believe I won't ever have to make that choice:

Great Auntie Ann wore out 4 late-life husbands as she twinkled her way through her twilight years. She divorced 2 because they "couldn't keep up," and killed off the other 2 by wearing them out. All were younger than her by at least 10 years. She died at the age of 92 while happily pursuing her final conquest.

My own mother had a "boyfriend" in the nursing home. They both suffered from advanced Alzheimer's, so I guess it was like the first time with a new fella every single night! I was quite tickled on her behalf.  When I first learned of it and was asking about the particulars, one caretaker said that the sex drive is one of the last things to go, and such late-life coupling was quite common in the old folks' homes.

So take heart!


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Yeah, we had a sheep for some reason in the early 60s. Got rid of it before a year was out tho.

Am I done with IT. RIGHT NOW< I say I hope so. Too much work for what one gets out of it. IF I was a woman, id say no, bring it on. BUT, if the right lady came along, what a way to die.


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## WolfWalksSoftly (Aug 13, 2004)

Raeven said:


> I don't ever plan to be "done with all that." It may happen, but not by my choice. However, I have good reason to believe I won't ever have to make that choice:
> 
> Great Auntie Ann wore out 4 late-life husbands as she twinkled her way through her twilight years. She divorced 2 because they "couldn't keep up," and killed off the other 2 by wearing them out. All were younger than her by at least 10 years. She died at the age of 92 while happily pursuing her final conquest.
> 
> ...


Thats a good family trait to have as any.:bow:


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

WolfWalksSoftly said:


> Thats a good family trait to have as any.:bow:


Thank you. I plan to be the resident stalker in any nursing home I ever inhabit.


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## WolfWalksSoftly (Aug 13, 2004)

FarmboyBill said:


> Yeah, we had a sheep for some reason in the early 60s.


There you go then, mystery solved.:whistlin:


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

yeah, but it was in the 90s when mom told me about dad.


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## thericeguy (Jan 3, 2016)

Irony <noun> Just about the time a man discovers he has a favorite recliner, women discover they enjoy sex.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Finally. Great wisdom from the guy.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Id be fine with it still if I could just lay there and look up.


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## coolrunnin (Aug 28, 2010)

FarmboyBill said:


> Id be fine with it still if I could just lay there and look up.


If all she's doing is laying there looking up, you ain't doing it right.... &#128518;


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

that's probably true. One less thing to worry bout now lol


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## ceresone (Oct 7, 2005)

My SIL and Bro was in their late 80's when he "went into" a coma-to hear them tell it, life was still very active.


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## Nsoitgoes (Jan 31, 2016)

thericeguy said:


> Irony <noun> Just about the time a man discovers he has a favorite recliner, women discover they enjoy sex.


I think that almost all women enjoy good sex and not only when they get older. It's up to her to make sure her partner understands what "good" means for her, and up to him to make sure he provides it. And vice versa.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

How was their life VERY ACTIVE, IF he was in a coma??
NOW, if you are saying they were very active UNTIL he went into a coma. Mom planted a garden in her late 80s, and still canned. Dad had cows yet, and mowed and raked hay. hed have to use his cane to hook the steereing wheel of my 41 M he used to mow hay, and my bros 70 JD to rake hay, but he still did it.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

I imagine that once they get old. they've been doing it the same way for so long that any other way feels uncomfortable, and there not at ease.


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## thericeguy (Jan 3, 2016)

Nsoitgoes said:


> I think that almost all women enjoy good sex and not only when they get older. It's up to her to make sure her partner understands what "good" means for her, and up to him to make sure he provides it. And vice versa.


Personally, I think that some of the ways in which people are raised, certainly the way I was raised, is to associate sex with notions like dirty, wrong, sinful, etc. I hope you get my drift.

This causes young people to approach sex with a certain mindset. Like stealing a cookie from the cookie jar. Yes, the cookie is good, but it was wrong.

These feeling are magnified for young women because of social stigma. There are quite a few words to describe a woman enjoying sex, and few are kind.

Roll the clock forward a few years, to 35ish range. That same lady might wake up one day and say to herself, "to heck with them. I am going to enjoy myself".

I think in that, somewhere, is the basis for that little line of comedy I posted.


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## Nsoitgoes (Jan 31, 2016)

I was raised in Europe. We don't have as many hypocritical hangups as y'all do about sex.


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## thericeguy (Jan 3, 2016)

Nsoitgoes said:


> I was raised in Europe. We don't have as many hypocritical hangups as y'all do about sex.


Why do you think our GI's were VERY happy when they liberated France? I'd call that a thank you.


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## ceresone (Oct 7, 2005)

Before his coma, Bill. and i think I will plead the 5th on this subject, since I'm 78, Hubby been dead for over 4 years, ill 10 years before--and I dont want another man. BUT--I will say, it's usually the man who determines how much a woman likes sex. IF he is good at what he does, he might awaken a "tiger"--however, if he is like a lot of men, he is only interested in what HE is feeling. So, Fellas, if your woman dosent like it, look at yourself--and wonder what more you can do--or should have done. If her eyes dont roll back--you're going at it wrong!


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

hmmmmmmmmm My eyes rolled back. I couldn't see what hers was doin lol


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## ceresone (Oct 7, 2005)

part of the problem, Bill--her's should have been rolled back before yours--LOL


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## Nsoitgoes (Jan 31, 2016)

FarmboyBill said:


> I imagine that once they get old. they've been doing it the same way for so long that any other way feels uncomfortable, and there not at ease.


That is because you have no imagination, obviously. That would be like eating the same meal every day - who would want to do that? "Keeping it fresh" is half the fun.


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## Nsoitgoes (Jan 31, 2016)

FarmboyBill said:


> hmmmmmmmmm My eyes rolled back. I couldn't see what hers was doin lol


... and maybe that was the whole problem.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

hmmmmmmmmm Could be. Seems like another aspect of my life I don't need to worry or ponder over lol.
AND
It dosnt matter, to me, anymore, whether I was the bestus man in the sack there could be, It dosnt matter whether I nibbled on her neck, or kissed it or her lips, whether I fondled the girls lovingly, whether I stroked her svelt body along her curves, back when her curves went inward instead of outward like all of ours do now, whether I commented or complimented her on her hair, her eyes, her choice of clothes, and/or whatever. 
Having the occasion to have sex, to me, isn't worth the effort I have to put in it, and im talking about the physical effort. I have HBP, and take 2 medicines to combat it. IF I wanna kick off, Ill do it at a time I choose, and wont have a long agonizing stroke doing it.
ALL of the above para would be different IF I were 30yrs younger
Could still attract good looking women, 
Didn't have HBP, or at least didn't know I had it
Still had the urges for sex I had then, and am DANG glad I don't have now.


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## Nsoitgoes (Jan 31, 2016)

Bill: I know that this question is way out of line, but I am really curious.

You say you are looking for a female companion/whatever. And you seem pretty adamant that she be quite a few years younger than you. 

My question is this: do you think that this younger, apparently attractive woman is going to be happy in a celibate relationship?


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## Vahomesteaders (Jun 4, 2014)

My family tends to live well into their 90s. And I remember great grandma saying my grandpa couldn't get enough. She said it wore her out at 92. So I'm hoping for that kind of results. Lol


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Im currently looking on FO for women from 50 to 60. I suppose there are women out there who have had enough of sex, same as me.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

And if there aren't, It didn't hurt me to look did it?


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

have you stated this in your profile Bill? sure there are a few who are not interested but you're not likely to find them on a dating site. jmo. ~Georgia


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## Nsoitgoes (Jan 31, 2016)

No. It certainly doesn't hurt to look. I apologize for asking such a personal question, it's just that I can't imagine wanting a relationship (other than "just friends") that didn't include intimacy.


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## ceresone (Oct 7, 2005)

Well, I'll be doggone, FBB DOES just want someone to help do chores!! LOL!


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

I want intimacy. I love to hold, kiss, cuddle, snuggle, ect.


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## RichNC (Aug 22, 2014)

FarmboyBill said:


> I want intimacy. I love to hold, kiss, cuddle, snuggle, ect.


And you think you are going to find a woman between the ages of 50-60 will want nothing more than that, while cleaning your house, washing dishes, doing laundry and possibly plowing fields for you??

How old are you again Bill I seem to think you are close to 70??


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

close to 70. Nope, don t need a field plower now that I cut my plowin g acreage down by more than 1/2. I don't mind washing OR drying dishes, OR doing laundry.
Doing it by myself for near 3 decades taught me that its anybodies work that need done. That ment me.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

I was wrong. It was 3 decades.


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## Nsoitgoes (Jan 31, 2016)

RichNC said:


> And you think you are going to find a woman between the ages of 50-60 will want nothing more than that, while cleaning your house, washing dishes, doing laundry and possibly plowing fields for you??


The housework isn't really that important. Physical intimacy isn't a "reward" for doing the boring stuff. It is an expression of deep caring and commitment, a place where "I" and "you" become "us". Not to sound too sappy, but it is a merging of bodies, a touching of souls where each completes the other. I doubt any amount of cuddling or kissing is going to come close.


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## WolfWalksSoftly (Aug 13, 2004)

You also left out control, manipulation...the bad stuff.lol


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## RichNC (Aug 22, 2014)

Nsoitgoes said:


> The housework isn't really that important. Physical intimacy isn't a "reward" for doing the boring stuff. It is an expression of deep caring and commitment, a place where "I" and "you" become "us". Not to sound too sappy, but it is a merging of bodies, a touching of souls where each completes the other. I doubt any amount of cuddling or kissing is going to come close.


I agree with you Ma'am, I just didn't put it the right way.


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## Terri (May 10, 2002)

No doubt some women ALSO want cuddling instead of sex, though they might be hard to find


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

; )Geeze, I'd like some passionate necking 'bout now...and if it led to more.....


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

My sentiments zactly roadless lol


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## WolfWalksSoftly (Aug 13, 2004)

roadless said:


> ; )Geeze, I'd like some passionate necking 'bout now...and if it led to more.....


:kiss::shrug::nono::thumb:


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## wildcard (Jun 19, 2013)

The ex was done and that's why I was. Now she's the ex. A better way to put it is like this....I used to get served beer but now I drink champagne.


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## Clem (Apr 12, 2016)

Boink!! Showed your tell.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

The ground above her might be pretty warm yet lol


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

(Quote of deleted material removed)

Every family has its legends. You know, people we aspire to emulate. Auntie Ann is one of mine.


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

WolfWalksSoftly said:


> :kiss::shrug::nono::thumb:


Thanks.....I needed that.:icecream::bow::whistlin:


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

Nsoitgoes said:


> No. It certainly doesn't hurt to look. I apologize for asking such a personal question, it's just that I can't imagine wanting a relationship (other than "just friends") that didn't include intimacy.



There all kinds of intimacy. Some more intimate than others.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

U got it Vicker

So Raeven, your out to plant men by the doz huh? lol


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

FarmboyBill said:


> So Raeven, your out to plant men by the doz huh? lol


 Nah, Bill. I just plan to not be dead until Iâm actually in a grave. Thereâs a lot of life left to live, at any age. Don't think I'll ever want to give up on one of its sweetest aspects.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

I'm not dead either. However, I can think of several activities I'd enjoy with someone of the opposite sex that don't involve copulating. Kissing and touching are two, and shelling peas is another. I've been married twice and have had lots of sex. I have never had much intimacy. I'd take it over sex any day.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Never thought I would either. Ive even changed since I put on my very first posts in here. Time changes all things. Ive learned to pick my battles.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Listen to that man. Voice of wisdom and experience.


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

vicker said:


> I'm not dead either. However, I can think of several activities I'd enjoy with someone of the opposite sex that don't involve copulating. Kissing and touching are two, and shelling peas is another. I've been married twice and have had lots of sex. I have never had much intimacy. I'd take it over sex any day.


One isn't worth much without the other. How many times have you seen me say here that I need a friend first?


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

About 5 years ago I had a friend of min's wife look at a little bump on the back of my head. She's a nurse, and I couldn't see it. Her fingers fiddling on the back of my head brought tears to my eyes. It had been years since I had been touched by gentle, caring fingers. That's the last time I was touched like that. 
I wouldn't mind being checked for ticks.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

Raeven said:


> One isn't worth much without the other. How many times have you seen me say here that I need a friend first?



True that, missy.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

I'm not "done with all that", but I'll take the intimacy.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

Not that I couldn't use a good slamming too  slammings are like scenic overlooks; if you've seen one, you've seen them all. (That's a joke, kinda). 
Intimacy always seems to fail before sex in a relationship. And, in hind sight, if I had my druthers, I'd hang on to the intimacy.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

Raeven said:


> One isn't worth much without the other.



Oops! I'm going to have to call you on that one. 
While the one without the other isn't so great, the other without the one is quite nice.


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

vicker said:


> Oops! I'm going to have to call you on that one.
> While the one without the other isn't so great, the other without the one is quite nice.


It's the intimacy and the friendship that gets you through when the other begins to flag, for whatever reason. And sooner or later... it likely will.

There are times, however, when I'll happily take one OR the other and not mind too much. 

If I ever find the intimate friendship again, however, I'll grab it and hang on with both hands. Rare, rare, rare. I was lucky enough to have had it once.


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## WolfWalksSoftly (Aug 13, 2004)

vicker said:


> About 5 years ago I had a friend of min's wife look at a little bump on the back of my head. She's a nurse, and I couldn't see it. Her fingers fiddling on the back of my head brought tears to my eyes. It had been years since I had been touched by gentle, caring fingers. That's the last time I was touched like that.
> I wouldn't mind being checked for ticks.


I was getting by OK until you had to bring up the touching part.


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## ceresone (Oct 7, 2005)

Hand holding IS a sweet part of being, and feeling loved, isn't it? My Husbands were so beautiful..


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