# Alma is in real trouble this time



## Nevada (Sep 9, 2004)

Alma suddenly went sour on me this morning. I looked over at her in bed and she was pale -- scary pale. I tried to get an O2 & pulse reading, but her hands were cold as ice and readings were way off; 115 pulse and 68% oxygen. I started her on oxygen and called the fire department.

The fire department elected to transport themselves, but I drove in my car. The rescue ambulance was right behind me. About 1/2 mile from the hospital they lit-up red lights & siren the rest of the way. All I could think was that she coded on them.

I didn't get in to see her for about 2 hours, but I did get a chance to speak to the firefighters as they were leaving the hospital. They said they never were able to get an IV due to her low blood pressure, and they lit-up because she went into V-tach on them. They still called it in as an incoming code blue.

Alma made it, at least so far. She's intubated, so she's sedated beyond the point of knowing what's going on. They put an IV in her neck. They are holding her in the ER until the ICU is ready for her.

I'll be headed back to the hospital shortly, but I'll take my laptop with me. I don't mind telling you that I'm very frightened for her this time. I also feel terrible for indulging Alma's wish to not go to the hospital 2 days ago. Not wanting to go to the ER is poor reason to not seek medical help, and I knew better.

Good thoughts for Alma -- PLEASE!


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## Danaus29 (Sep 12, 2005)

I'll be praying for her.


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## Murray in ME (May 10, 2002)

I'm sorry to hear that Nevada. You and Alma are both in my prayers.


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## Ruby (May 10, 2002)

Praying, please don't blame yourself. You were abiding by her wishes.


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## Jokarva (Jan 17, 2010)

Prayers sent for you both.


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## emdeengee (Apr 20, 2010)

I am so very sorry Nevada and my thoughts are with Alma.


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## Jan in CO (May 10, 2002)

Prayers are with you both. Keep us up to date.


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## RoxysMom (Feb 1, 2012)

Praying for you over in Henderson...


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## Sonshine (Jul 27, 2007)

I'm sorry to hear this. Praying for you and Alma.


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## calliemoonbeam (Aug 7, 2007)

Sending up healing prayers for Alma and calming prayers for you, Nevada. Don't beat yourself up, you were doing what Alma wanted. Hang in there friend. {{{Nevada and Alma}}}


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## Pauline (Jan 28, 2003)

calliemoonbeam said:


> Sending up healing prayers for Alma and calming prayers for you, Nevada. Don't beat yourself up, you were doing what Alma wanted. Hang in there friend. {{{Nevada and Alma}}}


seconding this


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## farmmom (Jan 4, 2009)

Praying!


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## Alice In TX/MO (May 10, 2002)

You are doing what is right. God will do what is right, too.

Huggs,
Alice


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## Texasdirtdigger (Jan 17, 2010)

Prayers and best wishes.


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## Karen (Apr 17, 2002)

Prayers from here and don't feel bad about giving into her wishes. You did do the right thing because it was her choice to make. Kudos for that. No matter how it turns out, you have no idea what it means to an old person to know their wishes were respected. God bless you!


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## nanadeb (Dec 30, 2010)

Alice In TX/MO said:


> You are doing what is right. God will do what is right, too.
> 
> Huggs,
> Alice


Alice is right....
Prayers going up for Alma
I have been keeping check on her


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## Nevada (Sep 9, 2004)

The news is not good. Her vitals are fading and she not responding to medication. Pulse is 55 on an escape beat, BP is 50/30. Respiration is by forced ventilation at 100% O2. The doctor isn't optimistic.


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## BamaNana (Dec 31, 2004)

Prayers for you both.


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## Suzyq2u (May 17, 2010)

Prayers for you both. Couldn't have put it better, Alice. 
Thinking of you.


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## Danaus29 (Sep 12, 2005)

If it's her time, it's her time. You did your very best and she surely appreciated all you gave her. I do hope she pulls out of it again but much as I hate to say it, this might be the end. 
(((((((HUGS)))))))
You are a special friend.


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## arabian knight (Dec 19, 2005)

Danaus29 said:


> If it's her time, it's her time. You did your very best and she surely appreciated all you gave her. I do hope she pulls out of it again but much as I hate to say it, this might be the end.
> (((((((HUGS)))))))
> You are a special friend.


I double these thoughts and post.


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## Dutchie (Mar 14, 2003)

Sounds like her body is shutting down, Nevada. It is time to let her go. I am thinking of you.


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## Nevada (Sep 9, 2004)

Dutchie said:


> Sounds like her body is shutting down, Nevada. It is time to let her go. I am thinking of you.


It's up to her now. There will be no CPR.


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## Heidi (Feb 19, 2005)

Praying for you, Nevada...you have truly been an angel to Alma these past months and even years. No matter what the outcome, you have done an amazing job for her and have nothing to feel bad about. God will look after her one way or another.


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## Nevada (Sep 9, 2004)

I'm staying right here, no matter how long it takes. I want her to hear my voice.


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## Immaculate Sublimity (Apr 30, 2003)

Holding you both up in prayer.


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## Our Little Farm (Apr 26, 2010)

You are both in my thoughts and prayers. 

You did what was right. What she asked for. Sometimes that is more important than anything. 

((hugs))


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## MO_cows (Aug 14, 2010)

Awww. I'm so sorry to hear that. It doesn't sound very good, does it? Blessings for all you do for her, you couldn't have been any more kind to her if she was your mother.


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## Alice In TX/MO (May 10, 2002)

Thinking of you Nevada. We are all there with you in the waiting room.


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## Ardie/WI (May 10, 2002)

Dutchie said:


> Sounds like her body is shutting down, Nevada. It is time to let her go. I am thinking of you.


Sadly, I am too...

Blessings.


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## Tiempo (May 22, 2008)

Thinking of you both Nevada.

Please don't beat yourself up, you've been wonderful for Alma, she's a very lucky lady to have had you.


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## nanadeb (Dec 30, 2010)

Nevada said:


> I'm staying right here, no matter how long it takes. *I want her to hear my voice*.


This is precious Nevada

It doesnt sound good 
We are all with you in thoughts and prayers


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## mellba (Oct 15, 2004)

Heidi said:


> Praying for you, Nevada...you have truly been an angel to Alma these past months and even years. No matter what the outcome, you have done an amazing job for her and have nothing to feel bad about. God will look after her one way or another.


Heidi is right. Alma couldn't have asked for a better friend! Sending good thoughts your way.


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## SunsetSonata (Nov 23, 2006)

Oh, Nevada.... I feel your stress and anguish. I think we all do. I'm so sorry for the road you seem to see ahead of you... but be proud of the road you've led til this time. I think we should all learn something from your incredible example.

Praying for peace for all concerned. Alma is a lovely lady.


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## Lizza (Nov 30, 2005)

Alma couldn't have found a better soul to live her last years with. I think you give everyone on this board hope that there are amazing people out there. Keeping talking to her. When my Grandmother was in a coma on her last day on this earth we did her hair and talked to her all day, when we left that night (still in a coma) a tear slid down her cheek and her hand suddenly raised (her daughters stayed with her but my sister and I left a few hours before she passed). That was my last memory of her. All day we talked but didn't really think she heard us, she gave no indicator, but now I know she knew she was surrounded by love at the end. Prayers and Hugs from Oregon.


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## Nevada (Sep 9, 2004)

Pulse is down around 35, still on escape beat.


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## wanda1950 (Jan 18, 2009)

Praying for you both. I know how hard it is & am so sorry.


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## Heidi (Feb 19, 2005)

I hope there is someone there with you, Nevada...but if there isn't we are all there in spirit.


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## Guest (Feb 17, 2012)

Nevada said:


> Pulse is down around 35, still on escape beat.



Hugs Nevada... truly sounds that Alma will be meeting her maker soon..


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## nanadeb (Dec 30, 2010)

morningstar said:


> Alma couldn't have found a better soul to live her last years with. I think you give everyone on this board hope that there are amazing people out there. Keeping talking to her. When my Grandmother was in a coma on her last day on this earth we did her hair and talked to her all day, when we left that night (still in a coma) a tear slid down her cheek and her hand suddenly raised (her daughters stayed with her but my sister and I left a few hours before she passed). That was my last memory of her. All day we talked but didn't really think she heard us, she gave no indicator, but now I know she knew she was surrounded by love at the end. Prayers and Hugs from Oregon.


They do hear...
And morningstar is right There are still amazing caring people out there


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## soulsurvivor (Jul 4, 2004)

Sending good thoughts for you Nevada. Please don't accept those self doubts of yourself. You've been such a good friend to Alma.


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## Nevada (Sep 9, 2004)

Alma is gone.


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## SunsetSonata (Nov 23, 2006)

Oh, Nevada.  *hugs*


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## Heidi (Feb 19, 2005)

I'm so sorry.


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## Fae (Mar 9, 2005)

Nevada, I don't post a lot on the threads about Alma but I do read them and pray for her. I am praying for her now as well as for you. Stay strong.


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## Alice In TX/MO (May 10, 2002)

Ah dear. Good job, Alma. Hanging in there, then going gracefully. God speed your soul to heaven.

My heart goes out to you, Nevada.


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## bajiay (Apr 8, 2008)

(((Hugs))) Nevada...


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## nanadeb (Dec 30, 2010)

I am so sorry Nevada ((hugs))
She was an angel here on earth and now shes Gods angel


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## Smalltowngirl (Mar 28, 2010)

I'm sorry for your pain Nevada, but please remember that Alma had some extra years that she wouldn't have had without you in her life.
May you find peace with this loss. 
Alma will be watching you from a new location but she'll never be gone from your heart.


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## Tiempo (May 22, 2008)

Hugs dear...you're a good man. Do you have company available?


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## Danaus29 (Sep 12, 2005)

I am so very sorry. You did everything you could for her and more. You loved her when no one else was there for her. Thank you for caring and sticking with her to the end.


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## Ravenlost (Jul 20, 2004)

Oh, I am so very sorry Nevada. My heart goes out to you.


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## deaconjim (Oct 31, 2005)

Prayers for you both. Thank you for being there for her.


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## frogmammy (Dec 8, 2004)

I am so VERY sorry.

Mon


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## grandmajo (Mar 25, 2008)

Nevada, I'm so sorry for your loss. I can only pray that when my husband's time comes, that I will be as good a caregiver as you were to Alma. My prayers are with you.


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## therunbunch (Oct 5, 2009)

Nevada, hon I am so sorry. I hope you realize, through your grief, that you were a light in Alma's life and she will be shining down on you. You brought her a lot of happiness and I'm so glad you shared her with us here on HT. We will be praying for you.


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## EarlsNan (Apr 21, 2007)

Prayers to you , Nevada. Know that you went above and beyond. Alma is out out of pain now and healthy.


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## Ruby (May 10, 2002)

Praying for you to have strength through your time of greiving. You just have to remember she knew you were doing everything in your power to help her and fight the system for her. But now she is rejoicing with her heavenly father.


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## Fae (Mar 9, 2005)

I am so sorry for your pain. Will be keeping you in my prayers. As when my Mother passed, at least now you know she is not suffering. Stay strong.


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## vicki in NW OH (May 10, 2002)

So sorry Nevada. You took such good care of Alma. What a good friend you were to Alma!


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## unregistered6474 (Apr 21, 2003)

I am so sorry. You have been absolutely wonderful to her -- truly a blessing in her life. I am sorry for your loss.


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## Lisa in WA (Oct 11, 2004)

I'm very sorry. Please take care.


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## Guest (Feb 17, 2012)

So sorry Nevada..you did a GREAT JOB taking care of her and giving her a life most elderly don't get in most cases..She is not suffering anymore,in that you should feel comfort in knowing what quality life you had given her in all area's of her life even up till her death you were there for her...HUGS..


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## pattycake (May 16, 2010)

I feel like the one who got to the hospital too late. I am soooo sorry. You have fought the good fight to the end. May God bless you and keep you Nevada.


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## blynn (Oct 16, 2006)

Very sorry for your loss, Nevada.


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## kasilofhome (Feb 10, 2005)

So, Sorry. Now I am crying for you. She is in a better place --You WILL see her again. This has been a love story so touching.


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## soulsurvivor (Jul 4, 2004)

I hope you have someone with you Nevada that you can share a cup of coffee with and a few thoughts in memory of Alma. I'm so sorry for you. I know Alma is now in a place of freedom for her inner spirit.


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## ChickadeeL (Dec 10, 2008)

So sorry Nevada.


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## Jan in CO (May 10, 2002)

You are and were a wonderful friend to her. Have peace in knowing you did all you could for her, and made her last years greater than they would have been if she had been alone. Hugs to you and thank you so much for sharing Alma with us.


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## mellba (Oct 15, 2004)

So sorry Nevada.


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## mistletoad (Apr 17, 2003)

I'm so sorry Nevada. Please take good care of yourself now.


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## ginnie5 (Jul 15, 2003)

I am so sorry! My prayers are with you.


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## Suzyq2u (May 17, 2010)

Oh Nevada, I'm sorry *hugs* She truly had a wonderful friend in you. Our prayers are with you.


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## MO_cows (Aug 14, 2010)

So sorry for your loss.


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## CheerfulMom4 (May 21, 2008)

I'm sorry. I don't post often but have read most of your post about Alma, there is no doubt that she knew you truly loved her. I can only hope when I am an elderly women that someone takes care of me even 1/2 as well as you have taken care of Alma.


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## DamnearaFarm (Sep 27, 2007)

<<<hugs>>> Nevada.
We should all be so lucky to have a friend like you.


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## BarbadosSheep (Jun 27, 2011)

I am so sorry. You took such wonderful care of her and I know you were a huge blessing in her life. If it had not been for you and your loving care, she would have been gone a long time ago. I know it hurts to lose her though. Prayers for you tonight.


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## tiffnzacsmom (Jan 26, 2006)

I am so very sorry Nevada. You are a good man.


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## mare (Aug 31, 2006)

sorry for your loss Nevada


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## Bearfootfarm (Jul 13, 2006)

Take comfort in knowing her last years were good, ALL because of *you*


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## MrManifesto (Sep 23, 2011)

hope someone is there for me like you were for her.


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## Nevada (Sep 9, 2004)

It's only been an hour, and I'm home again. I'm at a complete lack of words. I'm not sure if that's good or bad.


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## sharplady (May 20, 2011)

I am sorry for your loss Nevada. Alma was very lucky to have you for a friend. Please let us know if there is anything that we can do.


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## Grandmotherbear (May 15, 2002)

Nevada- You have been a good caring friend to Alma, and you were truly acting in her best wishes when you did not force her to go tot he ER against her will the day before. She was able to remain in her nest, with her friend, as long as she was cognizant. Even had you taken her, AGAINST her wishes, the doctors might not have been able to bring her back, and it would have been an unfamiliar and lonely place without you, and without being in her familiar setting. You did all you could to take care of her physically and emotionally. I hope you have someone there for you, who can help you take care of yourself, now. The house will be very quite without Alma...


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## tiffnzacsmom (Jan 26, 2006)

Eat, try to sleep you need rest now.


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## Yvonne (Jan 29, 2003)

I'll always remember you & Alma. The last picture you posted showed so what matters in life. Not a hair style or what you are wearing but joy in what you are doing., Bless you both.


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## Harry Chickpea (Dec 19, 2008)

So sorry. You have friends here, but also get out and with some flesh and blood people soon if you can. You've done an amazing job for Alma.


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## calliemoonbeam (Aug 7, 2007)

We should all be so lucky as to have someone on our side, to care for us and fight for us as you did for Alma. You did what was right, no matter how hard it was, you fought for her rights, and you respected her wishes, even when you didn't necessarily agree. No one can ask for a more loving, responsible caregiver than that, and you should be proud. 

Don't spend time second guessing your decisions or wondering "what if". You did a wonderful job, and Alma was very lucky to have you. Now she would want you to take care of yourself, even though that may be hard for a little while. Seek solace if you need to, talk about your memories either with others in your life or here on the boards and remember to eat and keep your strength up. You're not alone, my friend, we're a circle of love and strength and shoulders for you to lean on if you need us. We're as close as a post, a PM or a phone call. Just tell us what you need, we're here. {{{hugs}}}


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## TheMartianChick (May 26, 2009)

I am so sorry for your loss, Nevada. Your were undoubtedly a blessing in her life and you always gave her your best. I am sure that she knew that, appreciated it and loved you for being a light in her life. May God bless you as he welcomes her into the kingdom of heaven.


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## DW (May 10, 2002)

to a wonderful person!


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## Molly Mckee (Jul 8, 2006)

I'm so sorry Nevada. You were a wonderful friend to her and made her last years wonderful. She is in a better place but that doesn't make it easier for you. She lived a long and happy life, suffered very little at the end and died with her dear friend at her side, knowing she was loved. That's about the best you can have.


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## beccachow (Nov 8, 2008)

So very sorry, Nevada. You were a good friend to her. ((hugs)) Prayers for you all.


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## galfriend (Nov 19, 2004)

I send my deepest, sincerest condolences Nevada.

I have read your ventures with Alma, with complete admiration of you. To read of someone with as much giving, and kindness as you have done leaves me in awe. You are truly one of a kind special. 
May the good Lord wrap his arms around you now, and carry you through your loss.
Prayers and best thoughts to you.


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## Dixie (Dec 10, 2002)

I'm so sorry.


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## ajaxlucy (Jul 18, 2004)

Nevada, I am so very sorry. We who have followed Alma's story through your posts were able to share some of the beauty and caring and love between you, and I thank you for that. I really, really hope that you are not thinking worse of yourself for not taking Alma to the hospital the other day. She didn't want to go and you honored her by giving her the right to make that choice. I have no doubt that she just wanted to be at home - with a true friend like you.


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## texastami (Sep 13, 2002)

I am so sorry nevada... Alma was such a lucky woman.. And you will see her again..


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## stickinthemud (Sep 10, 2003)

So sorry to hear the news. You tried. You gave Alma happy times (Circus Circus) so you succeeded. Bless you.


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## Linda J (Oct 13, 2002)

My prayers are for you, tonight, and in the times ahead. I admire you, you put 110% into this fight and gave the greatest care and love Alma could have had in her last years. You surely added much time to her life because of your loving care.


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## Pearl B (Sep 27, 2008)

Im sorry Nevada, at least she isnt in pain anymore. You gave it everything, I admire you for all that you did for her as well. Im sure she did too. As others have said, you made her last few years the best they could have been. 

I will say prayers for both of you.


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## Peace n Quiet (Jun 16, 2003)

Nevada, I am truly sorry for your loss. You have been an amazing, selfless friend to Alma.


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## txplowgirl (Oct 15, 2007)

I'm so sorry for your loss and am praying for you and Alma. At least she's not suffereing anymore and has gone home and is finally able to rest in peace.


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## Just Little Me (Aug 9, 2007)

Rest, let yourself have some time. 
{{{HUGS}}} to you for all you have done for that dear lady.
She will be waiting for you when the time comes.


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## Sonshine (Jul 27, 2007)

Nevada, I'm sorry for your loss, but am so glad that you were there for her. She was truly blessed to have someone like you, and I think you were blessed by having the joy of knowing her. I pray that you can find some comfort in knowing that her suffering is over and that she had you to count on until the very end. Not many people would have done what you have, so on her behalf I want to thank you for being there for her.


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## Tracy in Idaho (Dec 8, 2002)

I am so very sorry, Nevada. You were certainly a Godsend to her and we should all be so lucky as to have someone like you as a friend and advocate. I will very much miss reading about Alma and her adventures with you.


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## Karen (Apr 17, 2002)

I'm so sorry Nevada. Whenever I think of how to describe a 'friend' I will forever think of how you have with Alma. Hugs and prayers.


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## Megabeth (Aug 7, 2008)

So sorry for your loss. I am glad you honored her wishes the other night. We had the same situation with a dear friend last summer. He went the way he wanted. Sounds like Alma had her way too, even if it's hard to accept.


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## Nevada (Sep 9, 2004)

Tiempo said:


> Hugs dear...you're a good man. Do you have company available?


Monika & her boy are living here. The boy doesn't know.

I had coffee with the people next door. They knew Alma well, so we had lots to talk about.

I've been keeping busy calling people who need to know.


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## bugstabber (May 12, 2002)

I'm sorry she's gone. ((HUGS)) Nevada, you did good.


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## lamoncha lover (Mar 1, 2009)

I am saddened for you that alma has gone, but For her I am thankful she was home, with her dear friend, and that she had happy years with you. She was not warehoused away and was loved and cared for right until the end. I am so sorry for the pain you must feel. But you were a true friend and we should all be so happy to have one like you in our lives.


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## empofuniv (Oct 14, 2005)

You have been a shining example of a care giver and dearest of friends. I'm sure my face is not the only one wet with tears at this sad news.

You have truly earned the jewels in your heavenly crown. 

My very deepest sympathy to you.

Pam


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## thesedays (Feb 25, 2011)

Nevada said:


> Alma is gone.


:grouphug:


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## pamda (Oct 14, 2004)

I am so sorry. You were her angel and now it's time to take care of you. Please know we are thinking of you and wishing you well.


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## beaglady (Oct 7, 2002)

I'm so sorry. I don't think I've posted on your threads before, but I've been following them and sending both of you whatever good thoughts I could. You have gone above and beyond what a friend would have been expected to do, and I'm sure Alma felt loved and cared for because of you. Take care of yourself now. I know you'll miss her.


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## BamaNana (Dec 31, 2004)

God looked around His garden
And He found an empty place.
Then He looked down upon the earth,
And saw your tired face.
He put His arms around you,
And lifted you to rest.
God's garden must be beautiful,
He always takes the best.
He knew that you were suffering,
He knew you were in pain,
He knew that you would never
Get well on earth again.
He saw the road was getting rough,
And the hills were hard to climb,
So He closed your weary eyelids,
And whispered "Peace be thine."
It broke our hearts to lose you.
But you didn't go alone,
For part of us went with you,
The day God called you home.
~author unknown~


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## Lizza (Nov 30, 2005)

Karen said:


> I'm so sorry Nevada. Whenever I think of how to describe a 'friend' I will forever think of how you have with Alma. Hugs and prayers.


I completely agree Karen. 

I am so sorry for you loss and I am thinking of Alma tonight.


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## Texasgirl (Sep 13, 2005)

So sorry for your loss.


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## AR Cattails (Dec 22, 2005)

Oh, Nevada, I am so sorry for your loss. Alma was so blessed to have you in her life these past years to love her and take care of her. Like someone above said, "you did good". God bless you Nevada. (((hugs)))


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## tallpines (Apr 9, 2003)

I'm sorry for your loss-------


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## AR Transplant (Mar 20, 2004)

I am so sorry, your mother was a very blessed woman to have you for a daughter.


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## wanda1950 (Jan 18, 2009)

I am so glad I got to know Alma through you. Loved seeing her pictures and hearing about her. We will miss her here.

You've been a kind & caring friend to her--she was so blessed to have you. I am so sorry for your pain now & will be praying for your comfort.


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## Becka03 (Mar 29, 2009)

Nevada you are in my prayers!


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## VA Susan (Mar 2, 2010)

Praying for you, Nevada. You said in a previous post that Alma is a woman of faith so I thought this quote might be a comfort to you. It helped me when I lost someone very close to me. It's written by an English preacher from the 1800's named Charles Spurgeon in his daily reading _Morning and Evening_. May God comfort your broken heart.


_&#8220;Father, I will that they also, whom thou hast given me, be with me where I am.&#8221;
John 17:24_

O death! why dost thou touch the tree beneath whose spreading branches weariness hath rest? Why dost thou snatch away the excellent of the earth, in whom is all our delight? If thou must use thine axe, use it upon the trees which yield no fruit; thou mightest be thanked then. But why wilt thou fell the goodly cedars of Lebanon? O stay thine axe, and spare the righteous. But no, it must not be; death smites the goodliest of our friends; the most generous, the most prayerful, the most holy, the most devoted must die. And why? It is through Jesus&#8217; prevailing prayer&#8212;&#8220;Father, I will that they also, whom thou hast given me, be with me where I am.&#8221; It is that which bears them on eagle&#8217;s wings to heaven. Every time a believer mounts from this earth to paradise, it is an answer to Christ&#8217;s prayer. A good old divine remarks, &#8220;Many times Jesus and his people pull against one another in prayer. You bend your knee in prayer and say &#8216;Father, I will that thy saints be with me where I am;&#8217; Christ says, &#8216;Father, I will that they also, whom thou hast given me, be with me where I am.&#8217;&#8221; Thus the disciple is at cross-purposes with his Lord. The soul cannot be in both places: the beloved one cannot be with Christ and with you too. Now, which pleader shall win the day? If you had your choice; if the King should step from his throne, and say, &#8220;Here are two supplicants praying in opposition to one another, which shall be answered?&#8221; Oh! I am sure, though it were agony, you would start from your feet, and say, &#8220;Jesus, not my will, but thine be done.&#8221; You would give up your prayer for your loved one&#8217;s life, if you could realize the thoughts that Christ is praying in the opposite direction&#8212;&#8220;Father, I will that they also, whom thou hast given me, be with me where I am.&#8221; Lord, thou shalt have them. By faith we let them go.&#8221;


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## SquashNut (Sep 25, 2005)

Rest In Peace Alma.


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## Dorothea (May 10, 2004)

i am so sorry for your loss


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## JuliaAnn (Dec 7, 2004)

Oh Nevada, I'm so sorry. I wish, as I always do, that I had some words of wisdom or comfort. But you need to know that you did everything you could for Alma, for a very long time, and you gave her the best quality of life she could have, right up to the end. You did your best, and it *was* enough. Alma is free of pain, suffering, and weakness, and now she will be perfect throughout eternity. You're a very, very good man, Nevada.


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## Pauline (Jan 28, 2003)

I m sorry for your loss of such a sweet friend and am sending cyber hugs to help comfort you in your time of loss Thank you for sharing her with us here and let us know if there is anything any of us can do to help you out in anyway


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## oldmania (Jan 25, 2007)

I'm sorry for your loss. Alma was lucky to have you as a friend and advocate. May she rest in peace.


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## willow_girl (Dec 7, 2002)

Nevada, you have my condolences.
No one could have taken better care of Alma than you did! 
I am sure it was a great comfort to her to have you with her at the end.


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## goatlady (May 31, 2002)

So very sorry for your loss, guy. As evidenced by all the comments here by those who were blessed to share in your and Alma's life travel together, we all agree YOU DID GOOD. Never doubt it, Nevada. It was just her time to move on to her next adventure.


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## Paumon (Jul 12, 2007)

May her spirit soar.


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## Nevada (Sep 9, 2004)

I'm absolutely humbled by the enormous and thoughtful response in this thread, but otherwise I'm at a complete loss for words right now.

I took a pill and I'm headed for bed.


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## SilverVista (Jan 12, 2005)

Nevada, this is my first post to you about Alma, although I've followed your saga for months. I couldn't respond because my own father died last March following several months of "failure to thrive" similar to Alma's. Strong heart and perfectly clean arteries despite being 91, medical problems that should have yielded easily to treatment but just didn't..... I couldn't respond to you because it was all too close for me, and I think I hoped that you would prevail where for my family the end was just around the corner.

I've had almost a year to absorb and contemplate how my sister and I eased Dad's transition from this world. I know where you're headed in your mind in the next few months. Please never lose sight of the level of both love and caring, and medical expertise that you brought to Alma! At the very end, you were most concerned that she would hear your voice. YOU DID NOT FAIL HER! Despite what we know about biology and medicine, this temporal life still holds so much mystery... I absolutely believe that we are spiritual beings whose earthly life is but a temporary stay, and I have no doubt that Alma has gone forth knowing your extraordinary efforts to support and preserve her. Time now, though, for you to work to form your own understanding the mystery.......

With my sincerest regards and heartfelt sympathy,
Susan


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## Michael W. Smith (Jun 2, 2002)

So sorry Nevada. I know Alma has had a tough time the last year or so - but she has also had her ups too! You did get her out to see Circus Circus about 2 weeks ago.

You did all that you could - and don't think any different. Yes you could have gone against Alma's wishes and taken her in to the hospital a day or so ago - but would it have really made a difference? Alma agreed to the other hospital transports, but I think she knew it was her time. You did what SHE wanted.

She lived a long life. She lived a good life. And it was made better by you. You abided her wishes, so don't try to second guess or think you could have done more.

Rest in peace, Alma.


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## SageLady (Jun 10, 2008)

I am so sorry for your loss, Nevada. You did a most amazing and wonderful job caring for Alma in her last days. Truly, you were an angel in her life and I know she will always be with you. My heart hurts for you.

Rest in peace, Alma.


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## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)

My condolences Nevada. Alma fought the good fight and had you as her constant devoted champion at her side and many other distant champions for both of you from here in cyberspace.

Alma is resting in peace now. Time now, Nevada, for you to take some rest and peace of mind for yourself too. I think Alma would want that for you.

Cyberhugs to both of you from all of us.

:grouphug:

.


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## acde (Jul 25, 2011)

Sorry for your loss.


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## farmmom (Jan 4, 2009)

I'm so sorry! You have been an amazing friend and support for her. Thank you for being an unusually loving human.


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## suzfromWi (Jun 1, 2002)

God Bless you. Alma is in a better place now. Go on with a life for yourself. You amaze me...


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## chickenmommy (Aug 24, 2004)

Nevada, I think you were the best cheerleader Alma could ever have hoped for! Her spirit will live on with you. The love you showed was enormous, and the caring was never ending. I hope you find peace in all you have done for, and because of, Alma.
Bless you and your efforts!


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## mamita (May 19, 2008)

my heart breaks for you. I'm so very sorry for your loss. you were an amazing friend and caregiver. ((HUGS))


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## bama (Aug 21, 2011)

i am so sorry for your loss.


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## debbydoo1966 (Jan 15, 2007)

Im sorry to hear about Alma's passing. My thoughts are with you.


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## Callieslamb (Feb 27, 2007)

You have my heart felt-prayers and sympathy. You gave it all you had and she knows that. No one could have done more. Rest. You don't need words. Now it's Alma's turn to support you from the other side. Live the memories. Cry the tears. It's what we do when we love.


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## unregistered29228 (Jan 9, 2008)

Nevada, I am sorry she's gone. She fought the good fight and you were the best friend a person could have during her many health scares. I pray we all have someone so loving and caring when we are declining.

RIP, Alma!


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## Tricky Grama (Oct 7, 2006)

Oh, Nevada, I just opened the thread...I am so sorry, prayers for you, thru my tears. 
Take some time for yourself to grieve. You did all you could, above and beyond what her own son would have done. You'll see her again, believe.

Patty


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## Guest (Feb 17, 2012)

To have a great friend is a blessing..Alma was blessed beyond measure.


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## Dandish (Feb 8, 2007)

Aw Nevada, I'm so sorry. No one could hope for more in a friend than you were to Alma. You will forever hold my respect for taking care of that sweet woman the way you did. Please take care of yourself now, and I'm wishing you comfort and strength (I know you have plenty of the latter). ((Nevada))


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## Tricky Grama (Oct 7, 2006)

The verse in the other post was beautiful, here is one I like, I so hope it helps.
Patty

What is Dying? 
By Bishop Brent 

A ship sails and I stand watching 
til she fades on the horizon, 
and someone at my side says, 
âShe is gone.â 

Gone where? 

Gone from my sight, that is all. 
She is just as large as when I saw herâ¦ 
The diminished size and total loss of sight 
is in me, not in her. 

And just at the moment when someone at my side says, 
âShe is gone,â 
there are others who are watching her coming, 
and other voices take up a glad shout, 

âHere she comes!â 

â¦and that is dying.


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## 7thswan (Nov 18, 2008)

I'M so Sorry Nevada. You have been the most Wounderful Friend. You and Alma are in my Prayers.


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## ceresone (Oct 7, 2005)

I could only repeat what everyone else has already said-I hope you feel the love coming to you. I can only hope I'm doing as well in my caregiving, you're my inspiration.


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## EDDIE BUCK (Jul 17, 2005)

Thoughts and prayers for you Nevada


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## dollmaker (Jun 24, 2010)

I'm sorry for your loss. You're an inspiration for all caretakers.


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## Minelson (Oct 16, 2007)

So sorry for your loss


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## Nette (Aug 17, 2003)

You were the best caregiver ever, Nevada. The best caregiver and the best friend.


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## Our Little Farm (Apr 26, 2010)

I am so sorry Nevada. My heart goes out to you and you are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you feel the love that is radiating from these pages from so many HT members. HT is such a wonderful place, we really do care. I have never met you or Alma but I have followed your journey and am in tears for your loss. 

:grouphug:

OLF


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## sandsuncritters (Nov 18, 2011)

My sincerest condolences to you, Nevada. 
As others have more eloquently said, I can only hope and pray that someone like you will be there for me when I need what you have provided for Alma.
Godspeed Alma, Resting now in the Arms of Our Lord.
God Bless you and give you peace, Nevada.

In His Love
Mich


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## danielsumner (Jul 18, 2009)

My thoughts are with you.


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## TnMtngirl (Jun 30, 2002)

Nevada I am so sorry.Our prayers are with you at this sad time.


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## Txsteader (Aug 22, 2005)

I'm very sorry for your loss, Nevada. Alma was blessed to have a friend like you.


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## lenii (Dec 31, 2005)

Hang in there, Nevada....


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## thequeensblessing (Mar 30, 2003)

Nevada, I too am so sorry for the loss of Alma from your life, and the void her passing will leave. Please know that her sweet spirit lives on and is at peace, that she can still whisper to your heart. I believe the language of the heart doesn't merely fade with the passing of the body. Bless you for your years of service and caring. You have been a shining example to many.


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## Texasdirtdigger (Jan 17, 2010)

I am so very sorry for your loss. You are the TRUE meaning of friendhip and careing.
Keeping you in my prayers for comfort and strength. You were wonderful to and, with, and for her.
((((Hugs)))))


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## anette (Jun 20, 2008)

Im just now reading this, and although I didnt respond to your update posts, I did read of your extensive struggles to provide both quality and quantity of life. Bless you, and peace to you.

anette


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## jamala (May 4, 2007)

Praying for you. You were such an inspiration in the way you cared for her and made her life as wonderful as possible for her. Just think of those special times and the way she smiled a few weeks ago at circus circus.


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## unregistered5595 (Mar 3, 2003)

I'm so sorry for your loss. You are an amazing caring person. Alma will be so missed.


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## unregistered65598 (Oct 4, 2010)

I am very sorry for your loss.


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## sidepasser (May 10, 2002)

I am so sorry for your loss, you were so wonderful to Alma and I remember the last pics you posted of her at I think it was Circus Circus. What a great friend you were to her, I am sure she knew how much you cared and loved her right up to the end. Godspeed Alma, off to the Heavens where you are now at rest.


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## Ardie/WI (May 10, 2002)

You're a good person. Many blessings.

Rest and take care now.


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## Faith (Jun 13, 2008)

So sorry for your loss.


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## cathleenc (Aug 16, 2007)

I am sorry for your loss and so very grateful that you were with her and took such tender care of her. May we all be so blessed! Wishing you peace.


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## grayrecliner (Jul 13, 2007)

Our thoughts and prayers are with you. We all only hope we can have such a caregiver as you in our lives when needed.


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## Shygal (May 26, 2003)

I knew when I saw the title of the thread, and from how many pages it was at  I'm so sorry Nevada .


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## Tracy Rimmer (May 9, 2002)

I'm sorry.


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## GeorgiaGirl (Jun 1, 2009)

When I think of you, Nevada......I think of this poem. God bless you...*angel of mercy.*

ANGELS DISGUISED AS FRIENDS

It's not God's plan to dwell
Across the street or path
Or even next door to us
So we could talk and laugh.

But in His love for us
Our Father wisely sends
People were closest to-
Angels disguised as friends.

It's not God's plan for us
To view Him face to face
But loved ones come to us
As angels of His grace.

The Bible clearly teaches
That God always sends
Messengers of hope-
Angels disguised as friends.

by- Perry Tanksley


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## amwitched (Feb 14, 2004)

I am so very sorry for your loss Nevada. Please remember all of the good times that you and Alma had. It will comfort you. Please take care of yourself and know that we are here for you!


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## toni48 (Mar 25, 2008)

I'm so sorry. What a wonderful friend Alma had in you. Prayers said....


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## gardenmom (Dec 31, 2004)

I am so sorry. I know you're going to miss her.


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## rivenoak (Sep 29, 2009)

Nevada, my sincere condolences. You were a good friend to Alma.


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## sweetbabyjane (Oct 21, 2002)

I'm so sorry, Nevada. You were God's gift to her. May you be blessed for your unselfish caregiving. 

She is smiling down on you now, happy and with no pain.
SBJ


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## Melissa (Apr 15, 2002)

I am so sorry for your loss Nevada. You have been an awesome friend to Alma for so long. I know you will miss her...


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## BoldViolet (Feb 5, 2009)

:: hugs ::


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## Billie in MO (Jun 9, 2002)

I am sorry for the loss of Alma. You were a blessing to her. Rest and take care of yourself.


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## Nevada (Sep 9, 2004)

We just had a talk with the boy about it. He's just 3 1/2. We wanted to avoid it, but they will probably come to get the hospital bed soon. Needless to say, he doesn't get it. He just said, "No, I want Alma to come back."

It's so sad. He went out to the driveway to get the newspaper and take it to Alma every day. He also enjoyed being the one to take her meals, and always said good night to her in the evening.


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## Katskitten (Aug 5, 2010)

Nevada,
I just found out about Alma. I had not posted on the other threads, but had followed then as best I could. I am so sorry for your loss.

Elaine


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## KnowOneSpecial (Sep 12, 2010)

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


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## Sanibean (Apr 8, 2010)

You were a very good friend to Alma, she was very lucky to have you.


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## Haven (Aug 16, 2010)

Thinking about both of you ((((hugs))))


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## acabin42 (May 11, 2002)

Nevada, I am so sorry for your loss. I have followed this entire event with you and Alma. I loved seeing the pictures of her where you had taken her to Circus Circus and she was enjoying herself. I am very glad you got to do that just recently. I know this is going to be very hard on everyone in your household, and my prayers are with you.

God Bless you, my friend.


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## DaniR1968 (May 24, 2008)

I'm so sorry. You are and were the best friend and champion a person could ever want. You have looked after her. Now she will look after you.


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## catcrazy (Jan 30, 2003)

I have deep admiration for you. I am sorry for your loss. You may be too close to it all to see, but you are a huge inspiration.


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## Common Tator (Feb 19, 2008)

Bearfootfarm said:


> Take comfort in knowing her last years were good, ALL because of *you*


Absolutely!

Now take care of yourself for a while Nevada.


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## Oat Bucket Farm (Jul 28, 2006)

Oh Nevada, I'm so sorry. You were such a wonderful person to her. I'm glad she had you. *hugs*


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## ldc (Oct 11, 2006)

Years ago, Nevada, we corresponded a little about caretaking. You are the most inspired friend/caretaker, with an informed intelligence behind it. I hope that you understand you did everthing possible, and some of the impossible. My most sincere condolences to you. Please know that feeling nothing is regular after the loss of someone so important. At some point, there will be better days ahead. Best regards, Laure ldc


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## ArkansasLady (Jan 1, 2003)

I am so sorry Nevada, you were a dear friend to Alma, and I know that you were a wonderful comfort to her these past years..Your in my prayers
~Cindy


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## CJBegins (Nov 20, 2009)

Nevada, you are an angel on earth and your sweet Alma is an angel in heaven. One moment at a time becomes an hour at a time becomes a day at a time. Your head will clear and all the wonderful times at Circus Circus will be at the forefront of your memories of her. Remind the little fella of those memories. Dwell on those good times and put the bad times away. My heart goes out to you. You need to take care of yourself with nourishment and love because you are important!


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## Ohio dreamer (Apr 6, 2006)

What a blessed woman Alma was to have you to take care of her and fight for her. I pray that the hole she left in your heart will heal.


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## Ann-NWIowa (Sep 28, 2002)

Sorry for your loss. The little one will adjust and accept. They seem to be able to do that much quicker and easier than adults. 

I've also followed your threads about Alma's struggles. She fought a good fight and it just wore her out. Now she's at peace.

Take care of yourself, remember to eat, drink lots of water, sleep and take it a day at a time. You'll get through this too.


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## AngieM2 (May 10, 2002)

Condolences on her passing.


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## fantasymaker (Aug 28, 2005)

I Admire the way you have done things Nevada....you did well.


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## CountryWannabe (May 31, 2004)

Our deepest condolences. You did so much for Alma - worked so hard for her well-being - she was very lucky to have you in her corner.

Mary


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## Elevenpoint (Nov 17, 2009)

My condolences.....Nevada, you are the definition of unselfish.


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## jassytoo (May 14, 2003)

I'm so sorry.


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## songlady (May 15, 2011)

My condolances Nevada. .


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## watcher (Sep 4, 2006)

Your in my prayers.

Loss is tough and we all don't like accepting death is part of life.

One thing you will need to watch out for is guilt. You'll be asking yourself if there was some you *could* have done. And worse yet you will feel guilty about feeling some relief. Remember its normal.


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## emdeengee (Apr 20, 2010)

I am so very saddened by the news of Alma's death. You were a great friend to her Nevada. May she rest in peace.


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## mekasmom (Jan 19, 2010)

Nevada said:


> Alma made it, at least so far. She's intubated, so she's sedated beyond the point of knowing what's going on. They put an IV in her neck. They are holding her in the ER until the ICU is ready for her.
> 
> I also feel terrible for indulging Alma's wish to not go to the hospital 2 days ago. Not wanting to go to the ER is poor reason to not seek medical help, and I knew better.


Everybody dies. It is just a fact of life. If she wanted to be at home, comfortable, not being poked on, then that was her choice. And I think it was a good one. 
My heart stopped when I was 23. I was revived, of course. I have a congenital heart defect, and due to a pregnancy, and rotten OB during that specific pregnancy, I wasn't getting the right medications to support my heart. So it stopped. 
I told my husband if that ever happens again, he better never let anyone revive me ever again. And I still mean it. I have a wonderful life with children and grandchildren and several more decades of life on this earth than I had at 23, but being revived to have that life was horrific. I would never do it to anyone or choose it for myself.
Don't just think about whether she is breathing or not, think about what she has to go through to breath. Every living things passes. Sometimes it is less cruel to just let them go in peace. And since she didn't want to go to the hospital, then she should not have been forced to. You didn't do anything wrong by allowing her to stay at home the last couple of days.


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## mrswright (Jan 10, 2009)

So sorry for your loss.


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## cfabe (Feb 27, 2005)

Nevada, my heart sank when I saw this thread. I'm deeply sorry for your loss. I'm sure my words are little solace, but please know you are man of outstanding character to have cared for a good friend in such a selfless and attentive manner.


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## Nevada (Sep 9, 2004)

I spoke to the mortuary this morning. Alma will cremated and her ashes placed in a crypt at Bunkers Cemetery, located just north of downtown Las Vegas.


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## jlrbhjmnc (May 2, 2010)

Nevada, I am sorry for your loss and for all those who love Alma. I have prayed for all of you.


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## Pam6 (Apr 9, 2009)

I am so sorry for your loss. Your love and devotion for Alma is beyond compare! 
Nevada, I wish that everyone had someone that cared about them with the same devotion and compassion as you cared for Alma!


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## snoozy (May 10, 2002)

I am so sorry. I am glad you were each other's family though. Family doesn't always come from blood or marriage.


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## clovis (May 13, 2002)

I am so sorry to hear this. Praying for you, Nevada.


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## horsepoor21 (Mar 14, 2007)

I am so very sorry for your loss . Praying for you .


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## Murray in ME (May 10, 2002)

I'm very sorry. Alma could not have asked for a better, more caring friend. Your care gave Alma a lot more time than she would otherwise have had. Don't forget to take care of yourself now.


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## bruce2288 (Jul 10, 2009)

My condolances. Remember the times you had not the ones you don't.


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## farmerstac (Mar 16, 2005)

Nevada,
So sorry for your loss


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## Nevada (Sep 9, 2004)

I wish I had some kind of intelligent reply to the terrific things you are all saying. All I can say is that I'm humbled.

I'm still not used to the idea that she's gone. More than anything else, I feel like I should be doing something for her. I've grown so accustomed to seeing to her well-being that it just doesn't seem right that I'm not doing something to help her.


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## Twp.Tom (Dec 29, 2010)

I am so sorry for your Loss Nevada-you are in my Prayers*


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## JuliaAnn (Dec 7, 2004)

I think you did everything humanly possible to help her. And you've made her final arrangements for her too. It's a strange thing when someone we love and took care of for so long suddenly isn't there anymore. It's a terrible adjustment to make, but it will come in time.

Is there some place you could plant a nice little tree or shrub, maybe a rose or something, in rememberance of her? It might sound trite or silly, but I did that for a relative, got some seeds from a mountain laurel tree at his old home place and planted them, and now I have a more tangible reminder of him. I know that might sound silly, but it helped me a little.


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## Classof66 (Jul 9, 2011)

Sorry for your loss. Hugs sent your way.


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## Nevada (Sep 9, 2004)

JuliaAnn said:


> I think you did everything humanly possible to help her. And you've made her final arrangements for her too. It's a strange thing when someone we love and took care of for so long suddenly isn't there anymore. It's a terrible adjustment to make, but it will come in time.
> 
> Is there some place you could plant a nice little tree or shrub, maybe a rose or something, in rememberance of her? It might sound trite or silly, but I did that for a relative, got some seeds from a mountain laurel tree at his old home place and planted them, and now I have a more tangible reminder of him. I know that might sound silly, but it helped me a little.


Planting a tree or shrub is about all I can do. I'm learning that I don't have a lot of rights in Alma arrangements, although to gentleman at the mortuary was kind enough to tell me about the basic arrangements. I know she's being cremated, and I know which crypt her ashes will be placed in, but I'll never know exactly where the ashes are.

The thing is that I am not related to Alma. My power of attorney died with her, and since she died with no assets I don't intend to invoke the Will to become her personal representative. That being the case, her ashes are technically an "unclaimed body" that will remain the ward of the County until a family member comes forward to claim it. Since Alma is believed to have no surviving family, that's not likely to happen.

Clark County's legal position is that she is now a client of the county social services department, which they claim is bound by HIPAA privacy regulations. I don't see how the whereabouts of a deceased person's ashes constitutes a privacy issue, but they make the rules.


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## Belfrybat (Feb 21, 2003)

Nevada, I am so sorry for the loss you are feeling right now. I hope you will allow yourself to fully grieve Alma's passing. I hope if I ever get in the situation Alma found herself in, I will have someone to listen to my wishes as you listened to Alma. In time, you will be able to rejoice in the relationship you had with her and remember the fun things you did together. In the meantime, know that you have many many people here and elsewhere who will help you carry the grief.

I am distressed to hear that you have no "rights" where Alma's final resting place is concerned. You'd think the County would want someone present to mark her passing, even if not a blood relative. Strange world we live in. I think planting a tree or shrub in her memory would be a perfect way to honour her life on this earth.


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## Harry Chickpea (Dec 19, 2008)

"Clark County's legal position is that she is now a client of the county social services department..."

Too funny. I understand why they might have to use that legal fiction, but it is still too funny. You could be a dork and ask to have a case worker investigate if she is being fed enough, whether it is considered welfare and will she have to pay it back, and if she will get help doing her taxes in the upcoming years... "Help help, I'm being held prisoner in Las Vegas!" Give it a century or two and it'll all get sorted out. It is all of little consequence. She is beyond this vale of tears and has graduated from her Alma Matter.


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## beccachow (Nov 8, 2008)

Nevada, I don't recall if you are religious or not, so this suggestion for the 3 year old might not be welcomed.

You can explain that she is in heaven and looking down, and that he can say goodnight to her every night and she will hear him.

As for the rest, I HATE bureuracracy. You deserve to have a say, she isn't an "unclaimed body," she was a living, breathing human who brought joy to your family. So sad for this final slap in the face for you .

Just know that you gave her love, friendship, and a sense of value to her life. ((hugs))


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## MTTMATSUA (May 23, 2007)

so very, very sorry for your loss. Even more sad that you are being treated poorly by 'the system'

our hearts to you...

Bonnie and family


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## Nevada (Sep 9, 2004)

beccachow said:


> As for the rest, I HATE bureuracracy. You deserve to have a say, she isn't an "unclaimed body," she was a living, breathing human who brought joy to your family. So sad for this final slap in the face for you .


Fortunately I don't worry about where people's ashes might be. Most people I know just dump them in the ocean anyway. I'm sure it doesn't matter to the deceased.

I'm trying to look at this from the standpoint of a long lost family member. If the remains were released to some guy they never heard of I can see that it might cause hurt feelings to a legitimate family member. I'm sure they have the rule because it's a problem they've already had.

It would be nice to have a place to take flowers to though. I suppose I could just leave flowers at the county crypt for everyone to see.


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## Alice In TX/MO (May 10, 2002)

She will see the flowers, even if they are on your kitchen counter, Nevada.

You are my hero, as you were Alma's hero.

Much love,
Alice


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## SunsetSonata (Nov 23, 2006)

I'm confused. Here if you're looking for a grave in a certain cemetary, you can get maps showing the exact location - don't need to even identify yourself. Maybe they just can't release information until the burial is complete in case family shows up for the burial?

At any rate, you are family, for sure. What matters is your contribution to her well-being in this life, not the next. What you've already done for her is what counts. You are a good man and I'm sure no one knew that better than Alma. You've done her proud.


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## northstitch (Jul 28, 2011)

I am so sorry for your loss, strength be with you.


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## Homesteader (Jul 13, 2002)

I don't know you or your history, but I am sending warm thoughts your way.......


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## Nevada (Sep 9, 2004)

SunsetSonata said:


> I'm confused. Here if you're looking for a grave in a certain cemetary, you can get maps showing the exact location - don't need to even identify yourself.


In Alma's case, her ashes being placed in a county crypt. The crypt building is identified as the county crypt, but the occupants of the various compartments are not listed. I'm sure they are identified by number so the remains can be retrieved, but that information is kept confidential.

I'm told that there are also buried (uncremated) remains held by the county in county owned plots. In cases where there are known religious objections to cremation the county will still bury remains, even though it is more expensive than cremation. But those graves are also identified as county grave sites with no names.


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## farmergirl (Aug 2, 2005)

Nevada said:


> I wish I had some kind of intelligent reply to the terrific things you are all saying. All I can say is that I'm humbled.
> 
> I'm still not used to the idea that she's gone. More than anything else, I feel like I should be doing something for her. I've grown so accustomed to seeing to her well-being that it just doesn't seem right that I'm not doing something to help her.


I am so sorry for your loss <hugs>
Maybe when the shock eases a bit you can resume your fight to affect real change in the medical insurance world so that others will not suffer needlessly.

You a good and kind man. I am proud to know you.

Blessed Be.


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## [email protected] (Feb 24, 2005)

I'm so sorry for your loss. I do hope it comforts you to know that your posts and others responses to them were of help to others who have to deal with medical care and the end of life. Alma may not have left family behind but her life had an impact on others. I know that she gave me a lot to think about. It sounds like she passed peacefully, I'm glad of that.


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## suzyhomemaker09 (Sep 24, 2004)

I am so very sorry for your loss Nevada. It was just her time as everyone has said...you did all that you could have possibly done...in the end I'm sure that she felt better knowing that you were there. <<hugs>>


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## didaho (Jan 22, 2008)

Nevada
I am so sorry for your loss. I am glad that Alma had you for the last few years of her life.
You are a good man, honorable, merciful and kind. 
I will pray for God to strengthen you and give you peace and comfort.
Take care of yourself and get some rest.

Debbie


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## Felicity (Dec 19, 2010)

Nevada,
I am so sorry to hear about Alma. I know that your
friendship, love, care and concern over the years
made her life so much richer!! 

I also want to thank you for sharing your and Alma's
life with us. I enjoyed the pictures you shared
and reading about the excursions you two went
on together. You made her last birthday special
for all of us by allowing us to send her birthday
cards.

Alma became special to alot of us, I believe.

I will be praying for strength and comfort for you
in the days and weeks to come.

You are one of a kind, Nevada. Please take
extra special care of yourself right now. 

~~~~~HUGS~~~~~


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## NickieL (Jun 15, 2007)

I'm so sorry--I've followed your Alma posts for a long time. I never replied though, as I still miss passed on loved ones so it is hard to really reply to some things--
but you did an amazing thing, seeing that she got the care she needed. I think Alma knew her time was near and that is why she requested she not go to the ER. You did as she wished, as she wanted.

Take care of yourself now, get some rest, a hot meal, and some company if needed.


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## Tirzah (May 19, 2006)

Dear Nevada,

I too am so sorry for your loss. It has been obvious to see how dedicated and loyal you were (and are) to Alma, a HUGE blessing for sure. You made her life special. I am praying for comfort, strength and peace for you and all who knew Alma.


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## Kmac15 (May 19, 2007)

{{{hugs}}} Go to sleep at night with peace in your heart. You were the best friend to Alma that anyone could be.


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## Michael W. Smith (Jun 2, 2002)

Nevada said:


> I'm learning that I don't have a lot of rights in Alma arrangements, although to gentleman at the mortuary was kind enough to tell me about the basic arrangements. I know she's being cremated, and I know which crypt her ashes will be placed in, but I'll never know exactly where the ashes are.
> 
> The thing is that I am not related to Alma. My power of attorney died with her, and since she died with no assets I don't intend to invoke the Will to become her personal representative. That being the case, her ashes are technically an "unclaimed body" that will remain the ward of the County until a family member comes forward to claim it. Since Alma is believed to have no surviving family, that's not likely to happen.


This surprises me Nevada. I would have thought that before her funds were all spent down, plans would have been made with some kind of burial fund. I'm also surprised that legal action wasn't taken prior to her death that you would be in charge of the final issues with her body.

I always assumed that she was an elderly lady that had some money and since her family wasn't interested in her, you two kind of hit it off and you started taking care of her.

I guess you never really said - and it was all assumption on my part. Was she never married? If you said about her life pre Nevada, I must not have seen it.

Not to be too personal, but it might be nice to know her whole life story - since many of us have been captivated with her final couple of years. But maybe now isn't the best time if you aren't ready to tell her story just yet.


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## Nevada (Sep 9, 2004)

Michael W. Smith said:


> This surprises me Nevada. I would have thought that before her funds were all spent down, plans would have been made with some kind of burial fund. I'm also surprised that legal action wasn't taken prior to her death that you would be in charge of the final issues with her body.


 Money is not the issue. They with only release the remains to family members or the personal representative appointed by the court during probate (usually named in the Will).

I suspect that Alma always believed that I would exercise her Will in probate. She never really understood that her belongings weren't worth much. She died with no assets so there will be no probate.




Michael W. Smith said:


> I always assumed that she was an elderly lady that had some money and since her family wasn't interested in her, you two kind of hit it off and you started taking care of her.


 On the contrary, I started taking care of her at first because she was penniless and couldn't manage her finances. She got a small pension, but it certainly wasn't enough to be worth going after.



Michael W. Smith said:


> I guess you never really said - and it was all assumption on my part. Was she never married? If you said about her life pre Nevada, I must not have seen it.
> 
> Not to be too personal, but it might be nice to know her whole life story - since many of us have been captivated with her final couple of years. But maybe now isn't the best time if you aren't ready to tell her story just yet.


 Alma was married but lost her husband to cancer in 1986. I met her in the early 1990s as a neighbor. She eventually moved to Havasu City, but I would look in on her from time to time when I passed through town. I discovered her having a medical and financial crisis in the spring of 2006, so we partnered-up to avoid a nursing home.


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## daretodream (Nov 12, 2007)

I am so very sorry....


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## Jaclynne (May 14, 2002)

Nevada - I am sorry to hear of Alma's passing. It's a heavy burden to be another's sole caregiver, but you shouldered the load admirably.


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## Elffriend (Mar 2, 2003)

I'm very sorry for your loss. You were a good and loyal friend to Alma, right to the end.


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## Sanza (Sep 8, 2008)

I feel so sad for you losing Alma, may you find comfort in the knowledge that she is at peace now.


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## manygoatsnmore (Feb 12, 2005)

Well done, thou good and faithful servant. I hope that should I ever need it, that there is a Nevada out there for me. Please do not feel guilt for not taking Alma to the hospital when she didn't want to go. You paid her the great honor of listening to her wishes and following them. No one could have done more. Thank you, Nevada.


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## fetch33 (Jan 15, 2010)

So sorry to hear of Alma's passing. You did a fantastic job taking care of Alma. Now please go take care of yourself.


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## blufford (Nov 23, 2004)

You're an inspiration! My condolences for your loss.


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## acde (Jul 25, 2011)

Nevada said:


> Fortunately I don't worry about where people's ashes might be. Most people I know just dump them in the ocean anyway. I'm sure it doesn't matter to the deceased.
> 
> I'm trying to look at this from the standpoint of a long lost family member. If the remains were released to some guy they never heard of I can see that it might cause hurt feelings to a legitimate family member. I'm sure they have the rule because it's a problem they've already had.
> 
> It would be nice to have a place to take flowers to though. I suppose I could just leave flowers at the county crypt for everyone to see.


I live 2,000 miles from my Fathers grave so instead of taking flowers there I buy some for myself to enjoy, I know that's what he would want anyway.


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## Cindy in NY (May 10, 2002)

So sorry for your loss! I hope that we can all have a good friend like you to take care of us!


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## DanielY (Aug 25, 2011)

Nevada, You have been an amazing companion to Alma. May God comfort you. She is with Him. "Well done though good and faithful servant". Those words are so applicable to you. I have no doubt as our Father in heaven welcomes Alma to His arms. That He also looks down on you with appreciation. Alma is also precious to Him and He could not have asked she be escorted to His presence in any grander style than you have given. May your loyalty be transformed to comfort in the days to come.


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## SunsetSonata (Nov 23, 2006)

You may not have an exact place to leave flowers, but you can always light a candle at home and think of her there with you. Someone sent me a Yankee Candle after my Dad passed and lighting it every day did serve as some sort of small comfort.


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## Shygal (May 26, 2003)

Alma touched a lot of people here, and you have too. As the other poster said, I hope I have a "Nevada" when I am older and in need of care and a friend.

You can put flowers anywhere. Bring them to a nursing home so the residents can enjoy them. Put them on your table, the front yard, anywhere. They don't need to be on a grave or by an urn, to make them a tribute to Alma


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## Jolly (Jan 8, 2004)

For everything there is a time and a season. We are all born dying - some sooner, some later, but go we do.

There are so many that leave this mortal coil unloved, unwanted and not missed. Alma was not one of those.

May she rest in peace.


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## Nevada (Sep 9, 2004)

Shygal said:


> Alma touched a lot of people here, and you have too. As the other poster said, I hope I have a "Nevada" when I am older and in need of care and a friend.


I really appreciate that. My reaction to Alma's passing is a severe "empty nest" feeling. In her last days she was in Depends, drinking through a straw, and even had to be fed 1-on-1 a spoonful at a time. Suddenly there is nothing to do around here.

I have the feeling that Alma is in a jam so I should be doing something to help her. I know that there's nothing I can do to help her now, but I just feel like I should be seeing to her well-being somehow.


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## acde (Jul 25, 2011)

Nevada said:


> I really appreciate that. My reaction to Alma's passing is a severe "empty nest" feeling. In her last days she was in Depends, drinking through a straw, and even had to be fed 1-on-1 a spoonful at a time. Suddenly there is nothing to do around here.
> 
> I have the feeling that Alma is in a jam so I should be doing something to help her. I know that there's nothing I can do to help her now, but I just feel like I should be seeing to her well-being somehow.


The one thing you can do for Alma is see to your well-being now.


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## Heidi (Feb 19, 2005)

Nevada said:


> I really appreciate that. My reaction to Alma's passing is a severe "empty nest" feeling. In her last days she was in Depends, drinking through a straw, and even had to be fed 1-on-1 a spoonful at a time. Suddenly there is nothing to do around here.
> 
> I have the feeling that Alma is in a jam so I should be doing something to help her. I know that there's nothing I can do to help her now, but I just feel like I should be seeing to her well-being somehow.



In the first few days after my mother passed away I couldn't shake the feeling that she was still at the hospital waiting impatiently for me to pick her up and take her home. Once we had her viewing that feeling finally left me....it's a shame that won't be an option for you, somehow it helped me find a lot of closure. 

I guess now is the time for you to take the time for yourself that you've more than likely been lacking for months. Sleep late if you want, indulge in hobbies, eat when and what you want. In time I'm sure you will find that the empty hours you are facing right now are once again full and happy!


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## Nevada (Sep 9, 2004)

Heidi said:


> I guess now is the time for you to take the time for yourself that you've more than likely been lacking for months. Sleep late if you want, indulge in hobbies, eat when and what you want. In time I'm sure you will find that the empty hours you are facing right now are once again full and happy!


I'm sure you are correct, but I can't help this "empty nest" feeling.


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## kasilofhome (Feb 10, 2005)

Will will be planting a tree here in her and your memory. We have cherry trees, and Honeycrisp apple trees comming. My reasons for this is to remember an act of kindness. I want my son to KNOW just how valuable that is. I wil post this summer the tree for your example. Which would be best as we have one truly special place that is for memories to live on.


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## Harry Chickpea (Dec 19, 2008)

Nevada, you CAN be doing something for her now. Gather her photographs and any important stuff, label them and make comments, and put together her life story in some format, whether scrapbook, online pages, or whatever. You now have control over how any researchers in the future will see her. Once you are finished, copies to the state and local historical societies and anyone else who might have a future need.

Your memories are fresh now, you need to debrief, and this could bring you closure so that you can move on comfortably.


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## Nevada (Sep 9, 2004)

Harry Chickpea said:


> Nevada, you CAN be doing something for her now. Gather her photographs and any important stuff, label them and make comments, and put together her life story in some format, whether scrapbook, online pages, or whatever. You now have control over how any researchers in the future will see her. Once you are finished, copies to the state and local historical societies and anyone else who might have a future need.
> 
> Your memories are fresh now, you need to debrief, and this could bring you closure so that you can move on comfortably.


I'll be going through her stuff next week. I'll think about doing that.


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## Nevada (Sep 9, 2004)

kasilofhome said:


> Will will be planting a tree here in her and your memory. We have cherry trees, and Honeycrisp apple trees comming. My reasons for this is to remember an act of kindness. I want my son to KNOW just how valuable that is. I wil post this summer the tree for your example. Which would be best as we have one truly special place that is for memories to live on.


Nice memory. Thanks!


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## Ardie/WI (May 10, 2002)

Nevada, just do nothing for a few days! Let your mind and heart adjust to the big change in your life. Sleep. Rest. Indulge yourself.

In a week or so, think of the future, but not now.


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## Denise K. (May 10, 2002)

Nevada, I am sorry to hear of Alma's passing. I don't post much but I am always reading. (a Lurker, I guess) I am an RN who works in an emergency department.
I wish all my patients were honored with as good of a friend as you were to Alma. You must be a very special person, thank you for caring for your friend. May Alma rest in peace.
Denise


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## kenworth (Feb 12, 2011)

Nevada, I am sorry for your loss. You were a wonderful friend to Alma. God Bless you.


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## beaglebiz (Aug 5, 2008)

Hi Nevada...thank you for being there for Alma, I am so sorry for your loss, but know she was a lucky lady indeed.


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## Danaus29 (Sep 12, 2005)

I think it's terribly sad that they won't release the body (ashes) to anyone except the next of kin. A couple years ago we had to make burial arrangements for a dear friend and fortunately the funeral home that had picked up his body was willing to bury him in his cemetery plot provided there were funds available for their services. And fortunately our friend still had enough money in his checking account to cover his burial and headstone.

Nevada, Alma is still with you in spirit. Relax and stop beating yourself up and let yourself feel comfort in knowing her last years were spent in the company of a loving caring friend who did all he could to make her comfortable and care for her. I doubt there is anyone here or anywhere who could have done a better job. 

If you want to do something as a tribute to Alma, how about ding something for the nurses at the hospital where you took Alma so many times? I'm sure they would appreciate any gesture you offer.


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## Melissa (Apr 15, 2002)

Nevada said:


> I'm sure you are correct, but I can't help this "empty nest" feeling.


You are one of those people who needs to take care of someone. In time I hope you find a new cause because people like you are much needed to make a difference in the world.


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## kidsnchix (Oct 2, 2003)

Nevada, I'm praying for you. That empty nest feeling is awful. Rest and gather your thoughts etc. for a while then go and find something to occupy yourself. It took me several months, but I'm finally able to get over the sad and empty feelings....I guess time does heal you just gotta take one day at a time. Take care of yourself.

Rosemary


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## Zipporah (Jul 30, 2006)

So sorry.Prayers.


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## Ruby (May 10, 2002)

The poster who sugested making a scrapbook I think had a very good idea. There is bound to be some distant relitave out there that would like to know "what ever happened to Alma." I know I have cousins I would like to know what happened to them. Sometime cousins are close when they are children but loose track of each other when they get grown. That doesn't mean they don't care for that person just don't know where they are.

Maybe you can write a tribute to her life and tell what you know of her and if she ever talked of her childhood or even of her former husband or his family. Then make a public web page even put it on Ancestery.com. That way maybe someone can claim her ashes and give them a home.

That empty nest feeling is the only thing I don't like about creamation. If there is no viewing before creamation then it's like they are out there somewhere and you can't help them. I felt that way about my brother until finely my neice got his ashes back and we had a memorial service.


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## oz in SC V2.0 (Dec 19, 2008)

I am so sorry to read of this.

You are a good man.


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## patty12 (Jan 25, 2011)

I have read your post for several years I think at least 2 or 3 about Alma and I can say you took good care of her. One of the best things was you taking her to a circus or something like that a few weeks ago. You are really amazing.
I wouldn't ever want a husband . I am 73 years old and still can get around on my own more or less but if you would decide to come to Arkansas I would like to have you move in with me . I am joking of course but only partly when I think of how you looked after Alma. I should be so luckly.


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## Nevada (Sep 9, 2004)

Well, here it is. Saturday night at 6 pm and I'm watching Lawrence Welk. After all, that's what I've done for 6 years now.


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## Alice In TX/MO (May 10, 2002)

It's going to take a while before you even *want* to restructure your life.


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## Genevieve M. (Nov 14, 2006)

I'm so very, very sorry for your loss.


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## TJN66 (Aug 29, 2004)

I'm so sorry for your loss.


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## JuliaAnn (Dec 7, 2004)

I was flipping through tv channels a while ago on Lawrence Welk was on PBS. My first thought was I wonder if Nevada is wathching Lawrence Welk...


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## featherbottoms (May 28, 2005)

I've not posted on here before, but, like others, I've been following your journey with Alma. My sincerest condolences.


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## longshadowfarms (Nov 27, 2002)

I'm so sorry for your loss, Nevada! I agree that you ought to take care of yourself for now, but I also understand that "doing" for others is how you care for yourself. Maybe you could volunteer at a hospital or nursing home. I have no doubt that there are a lot more people out there who could use a caring advocate!


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## Pearl B (Sep 27, 2008)

Nevada, have you thought of finding a grief support group?

They may be able to help you through this. Vegas is such a big place Im sure there are bound to be some.

I found this organization. They may be able to point you in the right direction if you wish to go this route. They also have bereavement services.

Im keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Nathan Adelson Hospice
http://www.nah.org/center-for-compassionate-care/bereavement-services


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## wombatcat (Mar 29, 2005)

Oh Nevada, I am sitting here at my 2nd job right now in tears. I had a little extra time so I was going to check my emails, then something told me I needed to come here because of Alma. I am so very sorry for your loss. As I've said before, my mother's situation is very similar to Alma's, and I know what the ultimate outcome will be, but I try to pretend it won't happen and still be realistic--I can't imagine your pain. You took such amazing care of her for so long, we all know it was you that kept her going this long, and that gave her reasons to keep going--I loved that you were bringing her to casinos and such, making sure that her life had some quality in it....

I feel like I've lost a family member myself......

Keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers....


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## Riverdale (Jan 20, 2008)

Nevada said:


> Alma is gone.


My condolences. You were a good friend to Alma


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## Nevada (Sep 9, 2004)

wombatcat said:


> Oh Nevada, I am sitting here at my 2nd job right now in tears. I had a little extra time so I was going to check my emails, then something told me I needed to come here because of Alma. I am so very sorry for your loss. As I've said before, my mother's situation is very similar to Alma's, and I know what the ultimate outcome will be, but I try to pretend it won't happen and still be realistic--I can't imagine your pain. You took such amazing care of her for so long, we all know it was you that kept her going this long, and that gave her reasons to keep going--I loved that you were bringing her to casinos and such, making sure that her life had some quality in it....
> 
> I feel like I've lost a family member myself......
> 
> Keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers....


Thanks for the kind thoughts. The problem with fighting a series of battles like I helped Alma fight is that it can't be won. She was predestined to lose a battle someday.


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

my thoughts are with you Nevada. i do know what you're feeling. i just did not know which way to turn when my husband passed. i had been his soul caregiver. looked after him like a baby. every day for weeks i'd jump out of bed quickly before i realized i didn't have to anymore. it's going to take awhile. try to take good care of yourself.~Georgia.


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## lamoncha lover (Mar 1, 2009)

gotta admit a tear squeaked by when i read your post on Alma..Nevada... Later ..when you have delt with your grief perhaps you should look up volunteer omnusbud (SP) thru your county. Here they have a terrible need for advocates at the local nursing homes. Who better then you?


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## PonderosaQ (Jan 12, 2004)

I have read your posts for so long as you cared for Alma. She was so blessed to have you and you will be blessed for everything you did for her. It will be a big adjustment for you after giving so much of yourself and your life to her for so long. I am sorry you will not know for sure where she will rest so you can leave flowers etc. I will pray for you in your sorrow and the Alma is now at peace after her long struggle.


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## bridget (May 10, 2002)

Dude, I hope you understand you did all you could in taking care of this lady.

I worry about you now, because you are starting a new period of your life. 

Please seek grief counseling if need be. It is going to be a startling change to your lifestyle and emotions. WE both know this is going to be with you the rest of your life. 

It's about you now, your friend is at rest.


Good Luck


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## Nevada (Sep 9, 2004)

I prepared an obituary especially for the small Arizona community where Alma & I met. That's the last place she was socially active enough to have an extensive network of friends.

There is no mail delivery in that town, so the protocol for someone passing is to tape a notice on the front door of the post office for everyone to see as they enter the building to get their mail.

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/22059150/alma_obit.pdf

A friend who still lives there printed and posted it at the post office for me today.


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## farmgal (Nov 12, 2005)

prayers for you and your family. Sorry for your heart ache. You have many friends on HT who care for you.


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## HappyYooper (Jan 26, 2005)

I am so sorry for your loss....


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## belladulcinea (Jun 21, 2006)

I'm so sorry for your loss.


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## Suzyq2u (May 17, 2010)

That was a lovely obituary you prepared Nevada. Thank you for sharing it and Alma with us.


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## watcher (Sep 4, 2006)

Nevada said:


> I wish I had some kind of intelligent reply to the terrific things you are all saying. All I can say is that I'm humbled.
> 
> I'm still not used to the idea that she's gone. More than anything else, I feel like I should be doing something for her. I've grown so accustomed to seeing to her well-being that it just doesn't seem right that I'm not doing something to help her.


This is part of the grieving process. ButIf you can play all the "what if" games you'll drive yourself nuts. I pointed out long ago that at some point you were going to run out of options. The first rule of life is no one gets out of it alive.


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## Nette (Aug 17, 2003)

A sweet obituary, Nevada. Still keeping you in prayer.--Nette


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## watcher (Sep 4, 2006)

Nevada said:


> Planting a tree or shrub is about all I can do. I'm learning that I don't have a lot of rights in Alma arrangements, although to gentleman at the mortuary was kind enough to tell me about the basic arrangements. I know she's being cremated, and I know which crypt her ashes will be placed in, but I'll never know exactly where the ashes are.
> 
> The thing is that I am not related to Alma. My power of attorney died with her, and since she died with no assets I don't intend to invoke the Will to become her personal representative. That being the case, her ashes are technically an "unclaimed body" that will remain the ward of the County until a family member comes forward to claim it. Since Alma is believed to have no surviving family, that's not likely to happen.
> 
> Clark County's legal position is that she is now a client of the county social services department, which they claim is bound by HIPAA privacy regulations. I don't see how the whereabouts of a deceased person's ashes constitutes a privacy issue, but they make the rules.


Why not apply to the social services dept become her legal 'guardian'? I wouldn't think it'd be much of a problem.


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## luvrulz (Feb 3, 2005)

RIP Alma..... it's been a long battle for you and I hope you have peace. My condolences...


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## Nevada (Sep 9, 2004)

watcher said:


> Why not apply to the social services dept become her legal 'guardian'? I wouldn't think it'd be much of a problem.


That could certainly be done. Alma even left a Will naming me as personal representative, but I don't intend to exercise the Will because there is nothing to administrate. Alma died with no assets.

Yes, I could ask the court for her remains, and I'm confident that the court will go along with it, but I'm not really sure what I would do with the ashes anyway. My belief structure tells me that it doesn't make any difference where the ashes are. I'm confident that the county will deal with her ashes in a dignified manner.

I don't have a problem with leaving it alone.


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## Alice In TX/MO (May 10, 2002)

Nevada, my son's name is Nathan, too.  

You are so blessed with the calmness of mind to just take care of what is important and let the rest go.

Huggs,
Alice


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## OUVickie (Mar 8, 2003)

Bless you, Nevada. You were certainly a wonderful, caring friend to Alma.


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## mamaof3peas (Oct 8, 2009)

I'm so sorry for your loss ;(( I can relate to your sadness of not having a place to visit her, I lost 3 babies, 2 at 20 weeks pregnant and 1 at the 6 weeks...the 2 @ 20 weeks we chose not to have a service and the hospital cremated and put I suppose in trash ;( later when I came out of the fog of shock, I regretted it all but I couldn't change it, so we planted a memory garden, planted a weeping willow and some flowers, put a plaque up with their names and the date of delivery, and put in some flowers in...some solar lights, at night I'd go out and sit and pray, missing them, wishing I'd been able to save them...

It was the most theuraputic thing I did...


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## Freya (Dec 3, 2005)

*{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}*


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## Starting out (May 29, 2011)

Nevada, I've been following your Alma posts for a while now and thinking of you both. I haven't been here for a couple of weeks and saw the news of Alma's passing on the "widow/widower" thread. I'm so sorry for your loss. You were a tremendous friend to her. My heart goes out to you.


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## Nevada (Sep 9, 2004)

Starting out said:


> Nevada, I've been following your Alma posts for a while now and thinking of you both. I haven't been here for a couple of weeks and saw the news of Alma's passing on the "widow/widower" thread. I'm so sorry for your loss. You were a tremendous friend to her. My heart goes out to you.


It's just hitting home with me now how attached I was to her. I really didn't realize. At the time it seemed like I was just living up to a promise and personal commitment, but now I know that deeply cared for her.

I guess it makes sense, since I stayed by her side even when she was in the hospital and had others to care for her. I swear, men are incredibly dense about love. That's not an easy thing to admit.


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## BlueberryChick (May 12, 2008)

I'm so sorry. You've been so faithful to care for Alma. Bless you.


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## painterswife (Jun 7, 2004)

Nevada said:


> It's just hitting home with me now how attached I was to her. I really didn't realize. At the time it seemed like I was just living up to a promise and personal commitment, but now I know that deeply cared for her.
> 
> I guess it makes sense, since I stayed by her side even when she was in the hospital and had others to care for her. I swear, men are incredibly dense about love. That's not an easy thing to admit.


It was pretty obvious to most here, how much you cared and how important she was to you. Please work hard at staying buy and occupied. The grief will hit hard soon.


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## ann in tn (Nov 25, 2007)

Nevada I am so sorry for your loss. I was the main caretaker for my mother in the last year of her life and after her loss there were suddenly holes that needed filling....time usually spent with her or caring for her that now needed to be filled. The hardest part was allowing myself time to grieve while also not grieving all the time. Remember the good times you two had - and you gave her many good memories in your good care of her. I will be praying for both of you.


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## JuliaAnn (Dec 7, 2004)

"It was pretty obvious to most here, how much you cared and how important she was to you"

Yes, couldn't have said it any better.


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## Shygal (May 26, 2003)

painterswife said:


> It was pretty obvious to most here, how much you cared and how important she was to you. Please work hard at staying buy and occupied. The grief will hit hard soon.


It sure was. :grouphug:


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## Lizza (Nov 30, 2005)

painterswife said:


> It was pretty obvious to most here, how much you cared and how important she was to you. Please work hard at staying buy and occupied. The grief will hit hard soon.


It was indeed. Love is sneaky like that. You took amazing care of her Neveda. We are all thinking of you.


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## Nevada (Sep 9, 2004)

Shygal said:


> It sure was. :grouphug:


I'm always the last to know.


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## Shygal (May 26, 2003)

Arent we all. I think thats probably the best and worst part of being alive


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## stamphappy (Jul 29, 2010)

So sorry for the loss of Alma. I sure enjoyed hearing about her story through you; you were an amazing friend and it sounds like she had some fun in her final days (the trip to Vegas, being in the magazine, etc...).


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## Pouncer (Oct 28, 2006)

Nevada, I think we all traveled along on your journey with Alma....I thank you for sharing your thoughts and events over all this time. What a loss for you, and how lost you must feel in some ways.

Godspeed, Alma

And may you find peace and walk into a new future with her influence at your side.

(((hugs)))


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## Staceyy (Jun 16, 2007)

I'm so sorry to hear this. My prayers are with you and Alma.


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## longshadowfarms (Nov 27, 2002)

Nevada said:


> It's just hitting home with me now how attached I was to her. I really didn't realize. At the time it seemed like I was just living up to a promise and personal commitment, but now I know that deeply cared for her.
> 
> I guess it makes sense, since I stayed by her side even when she was in the hospital and had others to care for her. I swear, men are incredibly dense about love. That's not an easy thing to admit.


Some people say it. Some people live it. Frankly, I think the latter are the ones that really mean it.


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## Nevada (Sep 9, 2004)

longshadowfarms said:


> Some people say it. Some people live it. Frankly, I think the latter are the ones that really mean it.


I just hope Alma knew.


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## Sonshine (Jul 27, 2007)

Nevada said:


> I just hope Alma knew.


She knew.


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## Tricky Grama (Oct 7, 2006)

Sonshine said:


> She knew.


We knew too. We all loved her as well, just not as much as you.

Patty


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## longshadowfarms (Nov 27, 2002)

Nevada said:


> I just hope Alma knew.


Oh yes! She knew!


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## beccachow (Nov 8, 2008)

Nevada, of course she knew. And she still knows, even more now. ((hugs))


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## Nevada (Sep 9, 2004)

beccachow said:


> Nevada, of course she knew. And she still knows, even more now. ((hugs))


Thanks! I really hope so.

Well, I took the step of trying to get rid of one of Alma's things I won't be needing.

http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/hab/2870499872.html

Dumping some of this stuff might take my mind off her.


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## missythemom (May 11, 2010)

(((HUGS))) I am sorry for your loss.


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