# Does she like me or what??



## unregistered168043

I cannot figure this girl out. She always seems willing to spend time w/me, even makes her own reasons to hang out w/me and anytime I suggest something she is almost always up for it. 

We talk on the phone, send emails and etc. I'm very attracted to her and I like her. Its been years since i had any romantic relationship, most have ended badly and I kind of 'swore it off'. I used to be pretty good at reading the signs but this one has me alittle stumped. When we hang out there is no physical contact (yet) and she usually has a business-like demeanor. So I try to lighten it up and make her laugh. I told her she had pretty eyes once and she turned red and seemed embarrassed/uncomfortable. When we go out she lets me pay...which either means I'm a sucker or she's allowing me to assume the role.

She also has other guys that are just friends but she doesn't really hang out with them too much. We've been hanging out at least a few times per week for the past 3 weeks so its still very new. Part of me wants to declare myself, tell her I like her, but the other part tells me to play the game, dance the dance, and see where it goes. Any opinion or advice that might give me a clue?


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## FarmboyBill

Play the game, dance the dance, and see where it goes sucker. BUT dont wait more than a month. By then say something offhand, and dont wallow in.on it. Let it sink or swim in her court.


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## unregistered168043

Say something off-hand?


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## summerdaze

I'd just come right out and ask HER how she feels about YOU. If she's comfortable enough to let you pay for everything, she should be comfortable enough to answer the question.


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## unregistered168043

To be fair, most of the time she just wants to hang out here or at her place and talk. Or do something that doesn't cost any money. I'm usually the one to suggest going out, so I pay, since I asked.


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## Guest

You gonna get a terrible whipping, I fear. I honestly hope not though.


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## unregistered168043

zong said:


> You gonna get a terrible whipping, I fear. I honestly hope not though.


uh-oh.


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## FarmboyBill

Maybe because it seems shes really interested in you, and although she has other guys they seem as friends, is that, your on the front burner for a season to see how/what your like. The others are just being kept stirred on the back burner until she decides to dish you out to the dogs and start a new pot, or shut the fires off on them.


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## FarmboyBill

Yeah, something offhand like, Say your doing something together, you might say something like, We could do this again/forever, and I wouldnt mind.

Or, (Im gettin to where Id kinda like to find your good side, and try to stay there)/


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## unregistered168043

Dang, thats a lot of pressure Bill. I better make this work now or get out on the back burner!


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## unregistered168043

FarmBoyBill said:


> Yeah, something offhand like, Say your doing something together, you might say something like, We could do this again/forever, and I wouldnt mind.
> 
> Or, (Im gettin to where Id kinda like to find your good side, and try to stay there)/


I think she wouldn't even respond to that, maybe just blush again. Also she's young, in her early 20's.


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## summerdaze

Darntootin said:


> To be fair, most of the time she just wants to hang out here or at her place and talk. Or do something that doesn't cost any money. I'm usually the one to suggest going out, so I pay, since I asked.


Oh, ok, well that's a little different then.
Seems like she really values your friendship, and a good relationship starts with a genuine friendship, so, I'd just see where it all takes the 2 of you. You don't have to try and define anything right now. Just enjoy what is.


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## FarmboyBill

Gotta be tough.


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## FarmboyBill

SD says maybe she values your friendship. Maybe she values your wallet LOL


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## Darren

Just enjoy it for what is. Why complicate things?


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## starjj

DT How old are you? That makes a difference maybe?


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## unregistered168043

FarmBoyBill said:


> SD says maybe she values your friendship. Maybe she values your wallet LOL


LOL. Nah, I think I would be able to tell if she was that type. She never really wants to do anything that ever costs any money.:shrug:

I insisted on taking her out one day, I would have taken her whereever she wanted and she said 'mcdonalds'! Other times, I just bought her coffee and little nothing things like that. Its usually me pushing it.

She just seems like she wants to hang out, go fishing, take a ride somewhere, or come over and talk. Won't even go out for a beer.:shrug:

I've never seen anything like it, frankly. I'm stumped.


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## unregistered168043

starjj said:


> DT How old are you? That makes a difference maybe?


Middle/late thirties. About 12 years or so older.


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## roadless

Sounds to me like she enjoys your company and getting to know you and is taking things slow...quite frankly I think that is a good plan.


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## starjj

To a young woman that is a big difference in age. I think you should come right out and ask her because that whole game playing thing is for the birds. Just be ready if she says she would rather be friends or that she enjoys your FRIENDSHIP.


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## unregistered168043

roadless said:


> Sounds to me like she enjoys your company and getting to know you and is taking things slow...quite frankly I think that is a good plan.


I hope you're right.


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## unregistered168043

starjj said:


> To a young woman that is a big difference in age. I think you should come right out and ask her because that whole game playing thing is for the birds. Just be ready if she says she would rather be friends or that she enjoys your FRIENDSHIP.


yeah? Too young for me?


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## starjj

Darntootin said:


> yeah? Too young for me?


Well IMO yes but that is just me. Some women are more mature than others but a 20 year old???? Again JMO. Sorry but you asked.


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## elkhound

play it cool...spend time with her.....then go from there.


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## FarmboyBill

Does she know your an ole greazer greezer. does she know your age.


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## unregistered168043

Alright. I'm just gonna hang out with her and see what happens. Maybe the age difference is too much, IDK. I think drawing a line in the sand and asking her what she wants might just kill the whole thing.


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## unregistered168043

FarmBoyBill said:


> Does she know your an ole greazer greezer. does she know your age.


yeah I don't think she knows my exact age, but she knows I'm in my thirties its kind of obvious.


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## tinknal

Oh for the love of Pete! Just lay a big wet sloppy one on her and see where it goes!


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## unregistered168043

tinknal said:


> Oh for the love of Pete! Just lay a big wet sloppy one on her and see where it goes!


LOL...that could go very right or very wrong!


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## vicker

Twelve years is not that big a difference at y'all's ages. I had a 23 to gf when I was 35. It didn't work out in the end, but we sure had a good time. It does depend on how mature she is, but she is 23 right?


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## shanzone2001

12 years older is not that big of an issue.

Spending several evenings together for 3 weeks or more without a kiss is an issue.

That is too long and too much time together to not know whether she likes you or not. 3 weeks without a kiss....I don't care if you are taking things slow, that is NOT normal.


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## FarmboyBill

I can see, where you being an ole geezer, she might think youll think she a ho if she makes the move. I can also understand you not wanting to rush it for fear shell think your an old pervert. Dont know the answer.


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## shanzone2001

Neither, Bill. I doubt she is worried about looking bad by just kissing him, and he is not old enough or that much older than her to qualify for old pervert.

I am going to say she enjoys his company but that is where it ends for her.


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## newfieannie

how can he be an old pervert or geezer Bill. he's just a young man in his 30's. 

i dont think 3 weeks is normal either. and 12 years is not that much unless she is very immature. somebody needs to make a move one way or another. jmo. ~Georgia.


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## cindilu

shanzone2001 said:


> 12 years older is not that big of an issue.
> 
> Spending several evenings together for 3 weeks or more without a kiss is an issue.
> 
> That is too long and too much time together to not know whether she likes you or not. 3 weeks without a kiss....I don't care if you are taking things slow, that is NOT normal.


I am with Shannon on this one, I think you need to try to at least hold her hand or kiss her and find out where you stand. If you do end up good friends only then you will at least know your place.

Age should not be a issue. When I was 19 I dated men who were in their 30's. Now that I am in my 40's, I have dated men who are older as well. My ex is 62, so age is not a reason to get all weirded out about.


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## naturelover

I think she likes you a lot but she sounds like a cautious girl who's husband hunting and is still checking you out. I don't think you should put any pressure on her and don't say anything yet that hints at sexual innuendo or anything improper. There's nothing wrong with going 3 weeks without a kiss. And a difference of 12 years her senior is great for a young woman who is looking for good husband and good father material. A man in his 30's is more likely to be more stable and dependable than a young man in her own peer group. 

She got embarrassed when you complimented her, she doesn't suggest outings that are going to cost you a lot of money, and she likes spending a lot of time hanging out just talking and getting to know you better. What that tells me is she's impressed with you, she's a bit shy (maybe even still a virtuous girl) and wants to spend time with you but she won't let you spend a lot of money on her because she's afraid you might imply that she's obligated to put out for you because of money you spent on her.

Next time you go out for a walk alone in private together take her hand. If she lets you hold her hand while you're walking then that's a good signal. If she pulls away and won't let you hold her hand then that's an opener for you to ask her if she's afraid and uncertain about where the relationship is headed.

.


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## Terri in WV

Naturelover has said it very well. 

There are a lot of women that prefer older men.


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## City Bound

I think she likes you. I would be honest with her. Since you are confused about how you are reading her, that is honest and you can ask her what she is thinking and feeling. Since you like her very much, VERY much, then I would tell her, because that is also honest. How you will piece those pieces together is up to you, but if you take a moment to collect yourself and to tune into the honest thoughts and feelings in your heart and mind those sincere thoughts and feelings will comes across to her and hopefully she will be moved and inspired to also speak openly and honestly with you. You can not go wrong with honesty. 

It sounds like she is waiting for you to take the lead. Her blushing at your compliment is a good sign that she is attracted to you.


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## City Bound

Darntootin said:


> LOL. Nah, I think I would be able to tell if she was that type. She never really wants to do anything that ever costs any money.:shrug:
> 
> I insisted on taking her out one day, I would have taken her whereever she wanted and she said 'mcdonalds'! Other times, I just bought her coffee and little nothing things like that. Its usually me pushing it.
> 
> She just seems like she wants to hang out, go fishing, take a ride somewhere, or come over and talk. Won't even go out for a beer.:shrug:
> 
> I've never seen anything like it, frankly. I'm stumped.


Sounds like a nice woman. Don't be stumped just accept her as she is. Most us men get the idea in our head that we have to spend money on women for them to like us. Sadly, it is sort of like buying their affections and attention. Some women work that racket, some do not. So be it. The woman you have sounds like a sweet person and maybe a keeper. She sounds like she has matured.


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## City Bound

If she is attracted to older men she might be the kind of woman that likes men to be a little bit of.........hmmmm, I am not sure of the word........maybe authority might be the right word. Maybe she wants a guy that is older, solid and more of an authority, sort of a rock to build a life with. If she is that type there is no way she will make the first move.


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## Terri in WV

Maturity is a better word, CB.


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## DarleneJ

It is okay to explain that at your age you're looking for an exclusive relationship. You like her, but are unsure if she is interested enough in you to consider moving in that direction. There's not a lot of pressure in that. You don't have to be left wondering and she may be confused at the signals you're sending (or not sending.) You'll never know unless you open up the channels of communication.

Three weeks is not a long time to build a friendship. "Hangin' out" is not dating, it's just what people who don't date do when they're board. If you want a "date" ask her to go out to a nice dinner with you at whatever restaurant on Friday evening. If she says yes, then say fine, you'll pick her up at 6 p.m. Dress nice and appropriate like you would (not to "hang out") but to date a woman that you're interested in. After dinner, go for a walk somewhere nice - romantic, but not too secluded. You want to be in public with this young woman. On that walk you reach for her hand, if she accepts, then enjoy it. Perhaps a brief good night kiss at her door would be appropriate. Let her know you had a good time and when you will call her again.

You can move from the "friendship" to the "dating" in that manner. No, you don't have to spend a lot of money on her all the time, but you will be able to gauge a lot by how she responds to a real "date". If all goes well it would be fair to ask her if she would become exclusive after this. (Not on the date night, but the next time you're together and you go for a walk or something.)

It sounds like you're both skirting the issue right now. If you value this relationship, you'll take the lead with kindness. She must see something in you sir, and perhaps she's too much of a lady to take the lead in this dance. You may have found a good thing. I would encourage you take a deep breath, ask her on a date, get a shave and a haircut, and brush your teeth twice. You never know!


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## NewGround

She just sounds like a very shy person to me, considering the blushing part...


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## unregistered168043

Well I don't know. Some of you suggesting I put it out there are making sense too. I really don't think she'll ever make a move or say anything to me...she's too reserved. If i wait too long I risk losing the moment ( I know women can change their minds completely in an instant ). I don't want to get pushed into the friend category if there's an opportunity for more.

I'll see her tonight...maybe I'll find an opportunity to speak up.


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## oregon woodsmok

She sounds like she is very proper, so you will have to mind your manners.

I don't think you should ask her how she feels about you. It's too soon. Instead call her and say: Hey, let's go on a date Friday night. I want to try *** restaurant, or there is a good movie, or whatever you can plan that would be non-threatening and you think she would enjoy.

Use the word date and if she isn't interested in you romantically, she will soon be backing out of your life.

At this point, she probably doesn't know what your relationship is, either.


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## Ardie/WI

I'd say to enjoy the time with her and quit over thinking about it!

Let it come naturally. What will be, will be!


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## tambo

My sister and her husband are 12yrs. apart in age. They were about your ages when they met and they have been married 28yrs. now.


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## tinknal

Darntootin said:


> LOL...that could go very right or very wrong!


Couldn't go wrong at all. Either she is going crazy waiting for it, or it was never in the cards.


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## City Bound

*I think Doris Day has some good advice.*

[YOUTUBE]0WNHNfBUFB0&feature=related[/YOUTUBE]


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## SilverFlame819

Maybe she's broke, and not wanting to suggest you "go out" to do things, because she doesn't have the money for them. 

Being broke myself, I certainly understand the value of hanging out, going for a ride, going camping, etc... I am not one to ever like people paying for my stuff, so when you said she could choose anywhere, and she chose McDonald's... Part of my brain just said, "The girl is broke and doesn't want to make you spend money on her..." 

I say give her some time, but don't be shy about gently asking her where her head is at with things.

Why is it so hard for people to talk anymore?

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cmk4YHnegsE]USE YOUR WORDS![/ame]

Annnnnnnnd if someone wants to teach me the cool way to embed YouTube videos in HT, that would be fantastic. I don't know the secret handshake!


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## willow_girl

I think she likes you! 

Don't sweat it about the age difference. 

I had a friend who was in his 40s and had never been married. He was a late bloomer, finally decided he wanted to settle down. He dated several girls (including me) but none were a good fit. Then this young thang who was the daughter of a friend of the family started hanging around. He couldn't figure out what the heck she was up to, but I had a pretty good idea! LOL. Within a few months, she was pregnant, they got married, and have been together ever since -- happily, as far as I can tell. :shrug:


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## lexa

She blushed when you made a compliment. I think she might be just shy and awkward about the whole romance part. Since she is dropping comments like " I can do it forever", I think it is the case of her being shy and not interested. At least I am like this. I was never able to take any steps to show the boys that I like them besides finding excuses to see them and hang out. It might be silly but I need the guy to take a lead. 
On other hand I had couple male friends that I liked to hang out with simply because I enjoyed activities they were interested in like fishing and hiking. There was no romantic interest, though.


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## unregistered168043

Well i went for it but i am still in the same boat. Last night she came over again and we hung out. She was very animated and laughing alot and we were having a good time. I thought for sure this girl likes me. So I touched her hair, then touched her ear, she didn't say anything.

Then we sat down to watch a movie and I put my arm through hers, and she seemed OK with that. Then I went in for a kiss and she turned her head..aaah! So I kissed her neck alittle then stopped. Later i tried again with the same result. Seemed like she let me kiss her neck alittle then pulled away.

Anyway she acted like nothing ever happened. I asked if I made her uncomfortable and she said no. I then said 'are you sure? Maybe alittle?' she said 'maybe a little' I said i was sorry if i crossed her line because I don't want to mess up our thing. She basically said no its nothing. And that was it. Later she nodded off on the couch and ended up staying the night (with me in my bedroom, of course).

This mourning I took her to eat and dropped her at work. All seemed normal...maybe a little tension, not sure.

Anyway i still don't really know where I stand. Maybe I wrecked it by going to fast, maybe there is nothing there and she just tolerated my advances to a point. IDK. I guess if she backs off and stops coming by I'll have my answer.

HUH, this type of stuff is a pain in the air. Now I remember why I stopped bothering.


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## WolfWalksSoftly

I think she gave her answer guy.


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## shanzone2001

No, you didn't go too fast. 
I thought she enjoyed your company but it ended there...now I am sure of it.
Sorry...........


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## unregistered168043

Oh well


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## littlejoe

Dude, if she let you slobber all over her neck... I'd say it was all good!


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## naturelover

Darntootin said:


> Well i went for it but i am still in the same boat. Last night she came over again and we hung out. She was very animated and laughing alot and we were having a good time. I thought for sure this girl likes me. So I touched her hair, then touched her ear, she didn't say anything.
> 
> Then we sat down to watch a movie and I put my arm through hers, and she seemed OK with that. Then I went in for a kiss and she turned her head..aaah! So I kissed her neck alittle then stopped. Later i tried again with the same result. Seemed like she let me kiss her neck alittle then pulled away.
> 
> Anyway she acted like nothing ever happened. I asked if I made her uncomfortable and she said no. I then said 'are you sure? Maybe alittle?' she said 'maybe a little' I said i was sorry if i crossed her line because I don't want to mess up our thing. She basically said no its nothing. And that was it. Later she nodded off on the couch and ended up staying the night (with me in my bedroom, of course).
> 
> This mourning I took her to eat and dropped her at work. All seemed normal...maybe a little tension, not sure.
> 
> Anyway i still don't really know where I stand. Maybe I wrecked it by going to fast, maybe there is nothing there and she just tolerated my advances to a point. IDK. I guess if she backs off and stops coming by I'll have my answer.
> 
> HUH, this type of stuff is a pain in the air. Now I remember why I stopped bothering.


She sounds like she's not sexually experienced and I think you made her nervous with your advances. She's clearly not ready yet to get sexually involved but if she nodded off and slept on the couch that's an indication she trusts you. Do you even know if she is sexually experienced or if she is still a virgin? Have you bothered to ask? 

Do you care enough to answer some questions?

Does she live in her own place or does she live at home with her parents? What do you know about her family background and relationship with her family? Wherever she lives, is there something at home that she's avoiding?

What kinds of things do you talk about when you're together? What kinds of questions does she ask you about yourself? Has she asked you about your personal plans for the future, have you asked her about her own goals and hopes for the future? Or do you just talk about trivial things?

Have you discussed things like hobbies and interests, religion and spirituality, her career plans or whether or not she wants to have a family of her own?

.


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## elkhound

naturelover said:


> She sounds like she's not sexually experienced and I think you made her nervous with your advances. She's clearly not ready yet to get sexually involved but if she nodded off and slept on the couch that's an indication she trusts you. Do you even know if she is sexually experienced or if she is still a virgin? Have you bothered to ask?
> 
> Do you care enough to answer some questions?
> 
> Does she live in her own place or does she live at home with her parents? What do you know about her family background and relationship with her family? Wherever she lives, is there something at home that she's avoiding?
> 
> What kinds of things do you talk about when you're together? What kinds of questions does she ask you about yourself? Has she asked you about your personal plans for the future, have you asked her about her own goals and hopes for the future? Or do you just talk about trivial things?
> 
> Have you discussed things like hobbies and interests, religion and spirituality, her career plans or whether or not she wants to have a family of her own?
> 
> .


communication is the key on both parts....from both of you.if she comes around again and a bet $100 she does...be frank but not in a scary way...hey i like ya lady...i wanna know you better and if you and i wanna learn about each other then lets travel down this path..but be warned at some point i am going to hold ya hand,kiss ya,touch you and finally make love with you...but only when and if we both agree.its the your duty to make her comfortable .


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## FarmboyBill

When I called DT an ole geezer it was a joke in reference to there respective ages. Man, reading alla this makes me so glad as my guardian angel has said, women wanna be a 10ft length pole distance from me. That way I donthave to guess, wonder, assume, consider, think, dream, wish, hope, figre, pray, hint, dispair, OR much of anything in between.


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## unregistered168043

naturelover said:


> She sounds like she's not sexually experienced and I think you made her nervous with your advances. She's clearly not ready yet to get sexually involved but if she nodded off and slept on the couch that's an indication she trusts you. Do you even know if she is sexually experienced or if she is still a virgin? Have you bothered to ask?
> 
> Do you care enough to answer some questions?
> 
> Does she live in her own place or does she live at home with her parents? What do you know about her family background and relationship with her family? Wherever she lives, is there something at home that she's avoiding?
> 
> What kinds of things do you talk about when you're together? What kinds of questions does she ask you about yourself? Has she asked you about your personal plans for the future, have you asked her about her own goals and hopes for the future? Or do you just talk about trivial things?
> 
> Have you discussed things like hobbies and interests, religion and spirituality, her career plans or whether or not she wants to have a family of her own?
> 
> .


She's not experienced, I know that. Still a virgin? I can't vouche for that as you know, LOL. I could tell that she gets nervous even to hold eye contact. She's young and sweet. I feel like my advances were scary to her and I don't like that feeling. I won't go there with her again. Friendship is probably best.

Yes we talk about our plans for the future, about her family and etc. She's got some issues like everybody, but she lives away from home in a rented room. We'll see what happens between us. I hope we stay friends. On one hand I feel bad for putting it out there, on the other hand...if I don't try, how would I ever know?


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## unregistered168043

FarmBoyBill said:


> ......... Man, reading alla this makes me so glad as my guardian angel has said, women wanna be a 10ft length pole distance from me. That way I donthave to guess, wonder, assume, consider, think, dream, wish, hope, figre, pray, hint, dispair, OR much of anything in between.


I haven't been in a romantic relationship in YEARS. I was happy here living a simple life with my dog. Our only worries was whether the ***** were getting into our corn. Then he had to die on me, and it seems my life has gotten more complicated and crappier ever since.


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## WolfWalksSoftly

I would say another Pup is in order. I know when my dog dies it will be hard to replace her, and at some point I probably will unless she outlives me.


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## vicker

DT, it sounds like you are doing the right thing, taking your time and keeping her feelings and fears in mind. She obviously likes you. Just continue as you have, and continue to be a gentle man. You won't go wrong.


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## City Bound

Darntootin said:


> I haven't been in a romantic relationship in YEARS. I was happy here living a simple life with my dog. Our only worries was whether the ***** were getting into our corn. Then he had to die on me, and it seems my life has gotten more complicated and crappier ever since.


Life is pretty simple for men and then women come along and stir up all these complicated thoughts and feelings in men.

I think you did alright. Me personally I would have told her that i had feelings for before I went in for a kiss. See what happens. Maybe things will come around. Rome wasn't built in a day. This could be just the first step of many.


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## unregistered168043

City Bound said:


> Life is pretty simple for men and then women come along and stir up all these complicated thoughts and feelings in men.
> 
> I think you did alright. Me personally I would have told her that i had feelings for before I went in for a kiss. See what happens. Maybe things will come around. Rome wasn't built in a day. This could be just the first step of many.


I think the thing to do is to back off for a bit. Give her some time away from me, absence making the heart grow fonder and all that.


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## vicker

Now why do that when you are both enjoying it?


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## naturelover

Darntootin said:


> I think the thing to do is to back off for a bit. Give her some time away from me, absence making the heart grow fonder and all that.


NO !! Don't do that. You must press forward, not retreat. Retreating is taking a defeatist attitude because you're feeling a little in over your head after going so many years without a companion.

She likes you. She's actively persuing you by spending so much time hanging out with you. She's trying to develop a good friendship that can turn into something potentially better and permanent.

Don't try to score with her, try to score points with her instead. There is a real difference.

The way you're describing things it sounds to me like she is an inexperienced "good" girl, not a "nice" girl. A "nice" girl will put out quickly and easily because she's thinking with her tail instead of her head and she doesn't care about respectability and good reputation with any old Tom, Dick and Harry that comes along. A good girl isn't like that and a good girl is what a real gentleman wants. A good girl is looking for respect and respectability, stability, honor, protection. She can be groomed, the relationship can be groomed but you will have to take some lead on this.

I have more to say but I have to make another post. Bear with me.

.


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## glazed

:happy2:

I just love ^her^ ... she is awesome.

:happy2:


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## shanzone2001

I agree that you should back off....shy is one thing, but this is too much.


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## elkhound

naturelover said:


> NO !! Don't do that. You must press forward, not retreat. Retreating is taking a defeatist attitude because you're feeling a little in over your head after going so many years without a companion.
> 
> She likes you. She's actively persuing you by spending so much time hanging out with you. She's trying to develop a good friendship that can turn into something potentially better and permanent.
> 
> Don't try to score with her, try to score points with her instead. There is a real difference.
> 
> The way you're describing things it sounds to me like she is an inexperienced "good" girl, not a "nice" girl. A "nice" girl will put out quickly and easily because she's thinking with her tail instead of her head and she doesn't care about respectability and good reputation with any old Tom, Dick and Harry that comes along. A good girl isn't like that and a good girl is what a real gentleman wants. A good girl is looking for respect and respectability, stability, honor, protection. She can be groomed, the relationship can be groomed but you will have to take some lead on this.
> 
> I have more to say but I have to make another post. Bear with me.
> 
> .



preach it sister.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## shanzone2001

Ok, you guys are acting like she is 16 years old....she is a grown woman!


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## elkhound

shanzone2001 said:


> Ok, you guys are acting like she is 16 years old....she is a grown woman!


ever think something mighta happened to her in the past.......that might make her draw up and back a bit.


----------



## WolfWalksSoftly

But this isnt 1945.. If she didn't want to be kissed on the lips, she want's to be friends and not a romantic interest.....Not meaning to offend..but she is a healthy, normal Woman right?


----------



## shanzone2001

elkhound said:


> ever think something mighta happened to her in the past.......that might make her draw up and back a bit.


She is not drawing back because she never moved forward. 
Based on what he has shared, I am sticking to my opinion. She enjoys his company but is not in the same place as he is.


----------



## elkhound

shanzone2001 said:


> She is not drawing back because she never moved forward.
> Based on what he has shared, I am sticking to my opinion. She enjoys his company but is not in the same place as he is.


yea...thats why darn tootin needs to have the conversation i posted in and communicate.ask her...what ya want from me....


----------



## glazed

:donut:

I have a daughter in her early 20's ... and, yes, she is ALL woman.

But she is NOT a GROWN woman.

She, too, has a very nice man who is very interested in her ... he is also eleven years older than her ... and I can completely see her behaving in the same manner, and there is nothing wrong with that.

I know for a fact that NOTHING has "happened" to my daughter in the past that would mar her sensually OR sexually.

There is NOTHING wrong with abstaining ... nothing wrong with taking it slow ... nothing at all.

I was a virgin when I married at 19, and my sister was a virgin when she married at 27.

Being chaste, being demure, does not mean something is wrong with you.

:donut:


----------



## unregistered168043

I really don't know. But the last thing I want to do is end up pursuing someone who isn't interested. I don't like the feeling of rejection. It smarts, and its embarrassing. I'll just assume we are friends unless seriously encouraged. There's other fish in the sea I guess.


----------



## shanzone2001

elkhound said:


> yea...thats why darn tootin needs to have the conversation i posted in and communicate.ask her...what ya want from me....


Yes, he does need to ask her. 3 weeks is long enough...especially if the girl is sleeping on his couch. She obviously trusts him, but is it as a potential boyfriend or does she see him as a "safe" place. More of a father figure. It just doesn't add up....


----------



## glazed

glazed said:


> Being chaste, being demure, does not mean something is wrong with you.
> 
> :donut:


Nor does it mean we are not interested, or not in the same place.

In fact, truth be known, it can mean we are MORE interested!


----------



## glazed

:donut:

One thing is for sure, for sure ... it sets us apart, and keeps people wondering!!

:donut:


----------



## shanzone2001

Glazed, he didn't try to have sex with her. He just got close to her and barely touched her. 
Does your daughter spend the night on the couch of a man in his 30's? Doubt it.


----------



## naturelover

I think you need to court her and show her your worth as a potential full time mate and not somebody who might try to take advantage of her inexperience. Consider the possibility that she may have had one or more bad experiences with other guys that she hasn't told you about and that is making her hesitant to get closer with you in the physical sense. I think you made a mistake by trying to neck with her in your home. It's too intimate and alone in the privacy of your home, necking can get out of hand and lead to other things that are regrettable for both of you if the girl has had a bad experience in the past.

So don't expect her to behave like a trollop and don't treat her like a trollop like a couple of other people here are advising you to do. Build on the friendship and trust first. Let her be the one to let you know when she's ready to trust you enough for physical overtures. If she's not ready for physical overtures by the time a couple of months has gone by then you are only friends, and what have you lost in that? You will have lost nothing. You will have gained a friend which is better than sitting at home all alone with your corn patch and not even a dog for company.

In the meantime court her and do things that let her see your own worth. Go grocery shopping together then go home and cook meals together. That will give both of you the opportunity to see how accomplished each of you is in the kitchen. If she doesn't know how to cook then teach her. 

Do things that are mentally stimulating and challenging to each other - i.e. instead of hanging out watching movies you could be teaching her (or her teaching you) how to play games. Evaluate each other on your respective intelligence and ingenuity.

Invite her to help you make your home more homey. Ask her advice for the woman's touch in your home. Go shopping together for houseplants or plants to put outside around your home.

There are other things that you can do that are all part of the gentle seduction game, such as some of the things mentioned above, but know that seduction comes after friendship and trust, and after seduction comes the icing on the cake.

.


----------



## unregistered168043

shanzone2001 said:


> Yes, he does need to ask her. 3 weeks is long enough...especially if the girl is sleeping on his couch. She obviously trusts him, but is it as a potential boyfriend or does she see him as a "safe" place. More of a father figure. It just doesn't add up....


She has a Dad and gets along great with him. She loves her father, I don't see why she would be looking for another one. I think she sees me as a nice guy, we have alot in common, alot of common interests, maybe she likes me a little but I don't think she really understands her feelings. The whole thing may be exciting and confusing and a little scary to her. But this is all a guess by me.


----------



## vicker

> Originally Posted by glazed
> 
> Being chaste, being demure, does not mean something is wrong with you.
> 
> :donut:


Nor does it mean we are not interested, or not in the same place.

In fact, truth be known, it can mean we are MORE interested!



Preach it sister!!


----------



## glazed

shanzone2001 said:


> Glazed, he didn't try to have sex with her. He just got close to her and barely touched her.
> Does your daughter spend the night on the couch of a man in his 30's? Doubt it.


:donut:

Yes, she has slept on his couch ... she really, really likes this man ... and he really, really likes her ... he is going to visit her in China in a couple of weeks (he is part of the group that's going to Beijing and the Great Wall.)

She BLUSHES when he is mentioned, or when she speaks of him ... she has even spoken to me about the possibility of them marrying someday ... and I have asked her point-blank if they have kissed yet.

Her response was "not yet ... the longer that part waits, the longer we have to get to know each other ... I am not ready for physical stuff to get in the way of that."

I admire her maturity, and strength ... and her weirdness.

:donut:


----------



## elkhound

Darntootin said:


> She has a Dad and gets along great with him. She loves her father, I don't see why she would be looking for another one. I think she sees me as a nice guy, we have alot in common, alot of common interests, maybe she likes me a little but I don't think she really understands her feelings. The whole thing may be exciting and confusing and a little scary to her. But this is all a guess by me.


the sun wouldnt set before i would go see her or call her and find out.i would either be on cloud 9 or pouty lipped by dark tonight iffin i was you.


----------



## shanzone2001

Apparently I live in another world where sleeping on a man's couch isn't normal. 

I am not suggesting you should have treated her like a trollop, but if she is so naÃ¯ve and innocent then she shouldn't be alone with you and sleeping on your couch.


----------



## naturelover

Darntootin said:


> I really don't know. But the last thing I want to do is end up pursuing someone who isn't interested. I don't like the feeling of rejection. It smarts, and its embarrassing. I'll just assume we are friends unless seriously encouraged. *There's other fish in the sea I guess*.


Other fish !?!?

So says the man who hasn't been in a relationship for years with only the company of his dog. Where are all your other fish? So the first time in years a girl shows real interest in getting to know you and keep company with you you are feeling rejected because she doesn't want to neck with you after only 3 weeks of acquaintanceship. Get real.

If you aren't willing to take time to persue and *gently* encourage someone who's clearly interested in you (for whatever reason she's interested) then what is your worth?

.


----------



## vicker

Why not be satisfied with the status quo for now? Enjoy it. If you try to force the relationship through a swage or die, you may end up with nothing. Let it be and enjoy the girl. If it comes to fruition it will be very, very wonderful. If it doesn't, at least you won't be another jerk.


----------



## unregistered168043

elkhound said:


> the sun wouldnt set before i would go see her or call her and find out.i would either be on cloud 9 or pouty lipped by dark tonight iffin i was you.


I'm not going there. frankly, I'd rather put the whole mess behind me. I'm taking the passive, gentleman's route from here on out with this girl. if she likes me and she's not ready, then I shouldn't push. If she don't like me that way, then i shouldn't push either.

And its not just all about her...I have a few feelings too ya know!


----------



## shanzone2001

Naturelover- yes, she is interested in him, but you are assuming as more than friends. Maybe, just maybe she just wants to be JUST his friend.
What is the problem with that?


----------



## glazed

shanzone2001 said:


> Apparently I live in another world where sleeping on a man's couch isn't normal.
> 
> I am not suggesting you should have treated her like a trollop, but if she is so naÃ¯ve and innocent then she shouldn't be alone with you and sleeping on your couch.


:donut:

It very well could be, Shannon ... there are all kinds of us women out here in this big 'ol world.

I am just trying to show another color of the prism ... you know, hold up a crystal in the sunlight and you see one color ... turn it a little bit, and you see another color ... turn it a little bit more, and you see another color ... that's all I am doing.

All the colors are pretty, and sparkly but, in the end, it all depends upon what color a person truly likes above all others ... the one that really stands out in their mind's eye.

:donut:


----------



## unregistered168043

naturelover said:


> Other fish !?!?
> 
> So says the man who hasn't been in a relationship for years with only the company of his dog. Where are all your other fish? So the first time in years a girl shows real interest in getting to know you and keep company with you you are feeling rejected because she doesn't want to neck with you after only 3 weeks of acquaintanceship. Get real.
> 
> If you aren't willing to take time to persue and *gently* encourage someone who's clearly interested in you (for whatever reason she's interested) then what is your worth?
> 
> .


I agree, you're making sense. Like I said I'm going the gentleman's route. I'm backing off on anything physical and I'll be a good friend and keep the possibility open.


----------



## glazed

Darntootin said:


> I agree, you're making sense. Like I said I'm going the gentleman's route. I'm backing off on anything physical and I'll be a good friend and keep the possibility open.


:donut:

((( I darn-tootin' wanna thank you )))

:donut:


----------



## naturelover

shanzone2001 said:


> Apparently I live in another world where sleeping on a man's couch isn't normal.
> 
> I am not suggesting you should have treated her like a trollop, but if she is so naÃ¯ve and innocent then she shouldn't be alone with you and sleeping on your couch.


Which is better - sleeping alone and lonely in a rented room in a landlord's house or sleeping on the couch of a friend who you just spent a pleasant evening with and that you trust and are evaluating as a potential mate?

.


----------



## elkhound

Darntootin said:


> I'm not going there. frankly, I'd rather put the whole mess behind me. I'm taking the passive, gentleman's route from here on out with this girl. if she likes me and she's not ready, then I shouldn't push. If she don't like me that way, then i shouldn't push either.
> 
> And its not just all about her...I have a few feelings too ya know!


i am not downing you or her at all.i just would be forward and ask whats the deal with you and i....

i would have been a corny old fart and asked if i could kiss her....before leaning in...unless her eyes told me she wanted a kiss along with her actions.


just me...


----------



## vicker

Again with my favorite analogy. When the fruit is ripe, it falls into your hand. You don't want her to take that step and be uncomfortable. When it is right, it will be sweeter than sweet. If that doesn't happen, you haven't missed anything.


----------



## rkintn

If you want more than a friendship, then you must follow naturelover's advice. I think she wants more but you are going to have to step up and show her that she means more by dating/courting her. It is so common these days for that generation to spend a lot of time just "hanging out" and not making the commitment required to date and I think she is waiting for you to ask her out and treat her like a girlfriend and not a hang out buddy. You are older than she and so there is a certain expectation that you take the lead. I think once you take the lead, you will be pleasantly surprised. So, man up and ask the girl out!  (PS IF she does reject you it will only sting for a little while. You can handle it.)


----------



## naturelover

One more thing to think about. If it turns out in the long run that the relationship is only one of friendship - then you have made a friend that you like and who will vouch for you as a good and trustworthy friend. She maybe has some other girlfriends that she can introduce you to. So in any case it could be a win win situation for you.

.


----------



## FarmboyBill

Is she a farm/homestead/garden type of gal? if now, Well, as for me, that answers any questions id have. If so, Why dont we hear of you takeing her to livestocvk auctions, machinery auctions, farm auctions in general. Why dont we hear of your planting a garden together, or weeding it together, or makeing plans to harvest it together. That way, you show her your worth, your values, your lifestyle. That way you show her what team work is like, and how youd be in a rrelationship in a team with her. Its innocent, and fun and informative, and rewarding.


----------



## FarmboyBill

How does she dress when shes around you. Seductively/provocitavely, average gal on the street, or ho hum/amish wear?


----------



## WolfWalksSoftly

Why does this all seem like a conversation at a High School gathering ? Seriously, most and by saying most I mean 95 % of adults have played the game enough to sense while in person, if someone is romantically interested in them or not.


----------



## FarmboyBill

WWS Im glad you think most of us adults can sense when somebodies interested or not. Why doncha ask the guys in here if they can get a idea whether a womans interested in them or not> Ill bet 95% say either they cant, or there not sure. I dont get a clue until the next day after the event when pondering the possibilities. AND even then what im thinking might have been a come on sign, might just be my wanting it to be in my own mind, NOT IN HERS


----------



## shanzone2001

Wolf, you are an attractive man so most women ARE attracted to you. That is why you don't have to wonder....


----------



## City Bound

Dude, you just have to cut through all this mental jogging and come out and talk it over with her. Just say: " I am romantically interested in you, are you romantically interested in me?" All she can say is yes or no, because it is a direct question. At least it will all be on the table.


----------



## WolfWalksSoftly

shanzone2001 said:


> Wolf, you are an attractive man so most women ARE attracted to you. That is why you don't have to wonder....


Oh Whatever. What I'm saying is, if a man goes to kiss a woman he has spent time with and talked to in person and he tries to kiss her and she turns away, its a no brainer to me, she isn't interested in that. Good grief, just let the other person know how you feel and say that they hope the other person feels the same, And If not, we could still just hang out and be friends.
Now isn't that easy? She isn't gonna spit on you, or cut an arm off.


----------



## unregistered168043

Yeah well thats what I'm doing. I'm just moving on to the friendship stage. I'm not pushing anything else. I tried and it didn't fly, its over.


----------



## Raven12

Pass her best friend a note during lunch period.


----------



## SilverFlame819

Darntootin said:


> I haven't been in a romantic relationship in YEARS. I was happy here living a simple life with my dog. Our only worries was whether the ***** were getting into our corn. Then he had to die on me, and it seems my life has gotten more complicated and crappier ever since.


Sounds like you need a new dog.



shanzone2001 said:


> Wolf, you are an attractive man so most women ARE attracted to you. That is why you don't have to wonder....


Now I'm wondering what Wolf looks like. 



And I do not find it weird in the slightest to sleep on someone's couch. Hell, I have friends (men) whose BEDS I sleep in - WHILE THEY ARE SLEEPING IN THEM TOO! And NO, that is NOT what I mean by "sleeping". I mean the kind where you are unconscious and dreaming! I actually wasn't aware that ANYONE in the world thought that sleeping on someone else's couch was weird. Now I'm wondering how weird *I* am! *lol*

This whole thread makes my brain hurt. We can all assume and debate for eternity, and it won't make a bit of difference. The only way to know how she feels and what she thinks is to ASK!

*USE YOUR WORDS! You can do it!!*

_(Adds "Can use his words" to Things I Want In a Man list...)_

Men who know how to use their words are HAWT.


----------



## glazed

silverflame819 said:


> men who know how to use their words are hawt.


...



...


----------



## City Bound

Well, maybe she slept on the couch because it was late and she lived a half hour ride away. I slept on the couch of a female friend a few times because we were hanging out at her house till late at night and it was unsafe for me to take the subway home at that hour.

I do not know about all this kissing women without establishing some acknowledged romantic status first. With my luck I would kiss the woman and she would press charges of sexual assault on me or spread gossip around that I am a perv. Reminds me of something that happened to a friend of a friend, of a friend, who was sort of friends with a woman that i was sort of going out with, she went on a date with a guy and invited him back to her house to watch a movie, next thing you know she goes to the bathroom for a moment and comes back to find her date sitting on her couch with no pants or underpants on with a big smile on his face when she came back into the room. The guy seriously thought that "come home to watch a movie" was code for "come home and have sex."


----------



## FarmboyBill

Bud, Id say take 1/2 of CBs advice. Just say something like ( hey, im gonna say this once, then I wont be botherd by it or mention it again. I REALLY like you, and want to find your good side, and hopefully stay on it. Thats it. Ive had my say). Let it go after that and just go with the flow. AND dont try to create your own current.


----------



## mekasmom

Darntootin said:


> Yeah well thats what I'm doing. I'm just moving on to the friendship stage. I'm not pushing anything else. I tried and it didn't fly, its over.


It's the difference behind the motives of the relationship. Twenty something year old girls are looking for husbands, family, and a picket fence covered with roses. She needs to know you are looking to be that. If not, she isn't interested in a "good time". I'm telling you that you can ask almost any 13 year old girl what color their wedding will be and what they will name their babies. And they could tell you. That is the fantasy of females. The girl is fantasizing about courtship and marriage not hot dating. She likes you plenty. She just doesn't know what your motives and dreams are concerning herself. She doesn't want to be used or just have a boyfriend with a sexual experience. She wants a husband.
I taught Sunday school for years and years, plus regular school for a while. I have heard PLENTY of preteen girls discussing their future weddings and babies. It is built into female DNA. Don't be worried that she doesn't like you. She does. If not, she wouldn't keep coming around. She just wants to make sure you like her enough to be husband material.


----------



## glazed

:donut:

I agree. And, please, if your intentions aren't sincere towards her go ahead and continue backing off.

:donut:


----------



## Shygal

elkhound said:


> ..but be warned at some point i am going to hold ya hand,kiss ya,touch you and finally make love with you...but only when and if we both agree.its the your duty to make her comfortable .


If a guy said that to me, it would make me back off right away because that doesn't feel comfortable to me at all. I know other women would feel ok with that but not me


----------



## SilverFlame819

mekasmom said:


> I'm telling you that you can ask almost any 13 year old girl what color their wedding will be and what they will name their babies. And they could tell you. That is the fantasy of females.


God, I was SUCH a weird kid. At 13, I was rocking out to music, immersing myself in books, and training horses. I was breeding rabbits for market, and teaching my dog to pull a sled so she could help water the animals in winter. I was more interested in my aquariums and my goats than I was in getting married. I can't even picture myself getting married, let alone some kind of church wedding with a color theme. I never really planned out kids' names either. Of course, there are always names I really liked, but I used them mostly to name my new animals!!

Then again... I always kind of assumed things would "just happen"... and now I'm 31, with no husband and no kids. Perhaps I should have picked out my names and colors so the universe could have had a better idea of exactly what it was I wanted. *lol*


----------



## SilverFlame819

Shygal said:


> If a guy said that to me, it would make me back off right away because that doesn't feel comfortable to me at all. I know other women would feel ok with that but not me


Um, yeah, agreed. I think there are two lines to be drawn. On one far side is the Harlequin romance novel, where the sexy man she secretly craves throws her down and makes a woman of her, and she loves every minute of it. On the other far side is reality, where you actually talk to someone to find out if they're interested, and then you work your way to that point (fast or slowly - whichever works for that couple). And then right in the center is SUPER CREEPTASTIC status, where you inform some girl you don't even know is interested in you that one day you're going to have sex with her... and then add on "when you're finally okay with it"... That's like super molester vibe, in my book. I'd be running screaming.

Most women like a man who asks about her feelings before he makes a move. Most women like a man who will throw her down and show her how HE feels once he knows she's interested.
No woman I've ever met in my life would be interested in the Super Creeper. It just makes me want to wash out my mouth and brain just thinking about it!


----------



## Shygal

And you do realize that she is having this EXACT SAME conversation with HER friends now, right? 
Hers probably goes like "he tried to kiss me and i got nervous and turned away and now im worried he will think I dont like him" and all her girlfriends are giving her all kinds of advice, and telling her what to do.....

So next time you meet, both of you will be completely confused as to what to do


----------



## willow_girl

> I really don't know. But the last thing I want to do is end up pursuing someone who isn't interested. I don't like the feeling of rejection. It smarts, and its embarrassing. I'll just assume we are friends unless seriously encouraged. There's other fish in the sea I guess.


Dude, you need to TALK to her. I realize this is the hardest thing in the world for a guy (LOL) but sometimes women need to hear the WORDS.

If you're falling for her, if you envision a life together with her, she needs to know these things. 

You need to know where she stands, too. There are several possible reasons for her response. One could be lack of attraction. Others are inexperience or fear of being rejected herself. Or maybe some guy took advantage of her, used her and then took off, and she's afraid of that happening again. 

You are never going to know which it is unless you TALK about it! 

Take her some flowers, state your intentions -- whatever they are. Let her know that it's OK to go slow if she wants, as long as she's willing to _go._ And if she's not, you need to know that, too. 

But don't give up on her until you know for sure, one way or the other. You could miss out on a pretty fine thing, dude.


----------



## Fowler

City Bound said:


> Well, maybe she slept on the couch because it was late and she lived a half hour ride away. I slept on the couch of a female friend a few times because we were hanging out at her house till late at night and it was unsafe for me to take the subway home at that hour.
> 
> I do not know about all this kissing women without establishing some acknowledged romantic status first. *With my luck I would kiss the woman and she would press charges of sexual assault on me or spread gossip around that I am a perv.* Reminds me of something that happened to a friend of a friend, of a friend, who was sort of friends with a woman that i was sort of going out with, she went on a date with a guy and invited him back to her house to watch a movie, next thing you know she goes to the bathroom for a moment and comes back to find her date sitting on her couch with no pants or underpants on with a big smile on his face when she came back into the room. The guy seriously thought that "come home to watch a movie" was code for "come home and have sex."



LOL!!!! This cracked me up!!!


----------



## Fowler

Wow 5 pages on when to kiss a girl?..and tell if she likes you. It's not that complicated folks.


----------



## Fowler

Shygal said:


> If a guy said that to me, it would make me back off right away because that doesn't feel comfortable to me at all. I know other women would feel ok with that but not me





SilverFlame819 said:


> Um, yeah, agreed. I think there are two lines to be drawn. On one far side is the Harlequin romance novel, where the sexy man she secretly craves throws her down and makes a woman of her, and she loves every minute of it. On the other far side is reality, where you actually talk to someone to find out if they're interested, and then you work your way to that point (fast or slowly - whichever works for that couple). *And then right in the center is SUPER CREEPTASTIC status, where you inform some girl you don't even know is interested in you that one day you're going to have sex with her... and then add on "when you're finally okay with it"... That's like super molester vibe, in my book. I'd be running screaming.*
> 
> Most women like a man who asks about her feelings before he makes a move. Most women like a man who will throw her down and show her how HE feels once he knows she's interested.
> *No woman I've ever met in my life would be interested in the Super Creeper. It just makes me want to wash out my mouth and brain just thinking about it![/*QUOTE]
> 
> 
> 
> Both of you over thunk what Elk was trying to convey ,I guess you thrive on trying to make other's look creepy because you think it makes you look smarter? Silver the paragraph in Bold is creepy because you are now insinuating, just because someone may approach a situation differently in his mind when he wants to become more than just friends by treating them well, by holding hands, being touchy, making love that he is a Super creepy molester?
> 
> I think you went way too far with your comment and you don&#8217;t know Elk at all to make this accusation.
> 
> And Shy you went through this hole thread just looking for something to pick on.
> 
> :nono:


----------



## FarmboyBill

She does that, u know. Specially mine


----------



## FarmboyBill

The reason 80% of the guys dont know when its the right time to do anything with a woman is this.

80% of US women could kiss ANY US Guy on ANY givin day, just walk up, grab hold and plant a smucker on him. Whats the worst thats gonna happen to her IN RESPONSE to that specific act. NOTHING FURTHER. Will she get slugged, will a cop arrest her as a pervert, will she be charged with sexual assult. HIGHLY unlikely.

NOW
What would happen if 80% of ANY US guy would walk up and plant a spacker on any US woman on any givin day, with NO further intent in mind??

Decipher that, and you have your answer as to why guys dont know the whens and what times to do anything with ANY SPECIFIC woman, CAUSE< THERE ALL DIFFERENT.


----------



## WolfWalksSoftly

Once again, everyone who just read that is now dumber for doing so..lol


----------



## tambo

Just to set the record straight...Elk and I had a LDR for over a year. He is very much a gentleman. He is for sure not a creep or a molester. He did ask my permission to kiss me the first time.It didn't creep me out what so ever. It was very sweet and thoughtful. He is very much the gentleman.


----------



## Raven12

Elkhound? Elk never comes off as anything but a gentleman online. I would assume that it is the same off.


----------



## SilverFlame819

elkhound said:


> be warned at some point i am going to hold ya hand,kiss ya,touch you and finally make love with you...but only when and if we both agree.





Fowler said:


> Both of you over thunk what Elk was trying to convey ,I guess you thrive on trying to make other's look creepy because you think it makes you look smarter? Silver the paragraph in Bold is creepy because you are now insinuating, just because someone may approach a situation differently in his mind when he wants to become more than just friends by treating them well, by holding hands, being touchy, making love that he is a Super creepy molester?
> 
> I think you went way too far with your comment and you don&#8217;t know Elk at all to make this accusation.
> 
> And Shy you went through this hole thread just looking for something to pick on.
> 
> :nono:


Are you for real? Yes, it makes me feel incredibly smart to point out others' creepy behavior... Because that makes so much sense. :shrug: I never said that Elk was a molester. Just because you seem to take issue with Shy doesn't mean you need to berate me because I agreed with her on something. Maybe you disagree, but if some dude informed ME that he was going to be having sex with me in the future, I'd be creeped out. Nowhere did I say that Elk was off taking advantage of people. Maybe that just sounds sinister in my head and nobody elses, but to me, that just comes across as possessive and weird.

If this wasn't Elk we were talking about (someone you obviously feel protective of), but some guy that you'd only been acquaintances with in the real world for 3 weeks, and he "warned" you that he was going to sleep with you in the future, you wouldn't find that bizarre?!


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## foxfiredidit

Fowler said:


> Wow 5 pages on when to kiss a girl?..and tell if she likes you. It's not that complicated folks.


[YOUTUBE]k3Gvb6SMh4c[/YOUTUBE]


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## Fowler

SilverFlame819 said:


> Are you for real? Yes, it makes me feel incredibly smart to point out others' creepy behavior... Because that makes so much sense. :shrug: I never said that Elk was a molester. Just because you seem to take issue with Shy doesn't mean you need to berate me because I agreed with her on something. Maybe you disagree, but if some dude informed ME that he was going to be having sex with me in the future, I'd be creeped out. Nowhere did I say that Elk was off taking advantage of people. Maybe that just sounds sinister in my head and nobody elses, but to me, that just comes across as possessive and weird.
> 
> If this wasn't Elk we were talking about (someone you obviously feel protective of), but some guy that you'd only been acquaintances with in the real world for 3 weeks, and he "warned" you that he was going to sleep with you in the future, you wouldn't find that bizarre?!


Your comment went right in line with Shy's comment, and I have no issue with Shy, when slander is being thrown over a comment that was miscontrued then yes someone needs to step up and set the record straight after all that's what friends do. Maybe next time you should consider PMing him to ask if that's how he meant it before throwing it out there. Sometimes it's better just to by-pass a comment or ask in private, that way no one get's thrown under the bus. But as you stated in another thread you're smarter then you're friends, I guess not many in your circle get by with much around you do they?


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## City Bound

Fowler said:


> LOL!!!! This cracked me up!!!


Well, it is the truth fowler.


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## Fowler

City Bound said:


> Well, it is the truth fowler.


I am seeing this now. Eyes are wide open.:grit:


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## City Bound

To the women here: You seriously would be ok with a guy you just met kissing you when no romantic status has been established?


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## Fowler

I dont think anyone has said that.

What if you were attracted to them and knew them for a while, how do you know there would not be a romance if you never tried to even hold their hand give flirting glances or lean in to kiss them and then dont....LOL

What if, you're in the same situation Darn is in, no one has made a move, so how do you even discuss a romantic status?


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## FarmboyBill

I wouldnt mind if 50% of the women gave me a kiss with no romatic involvement involved.


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## Fowler

FarmBoyBill said:


> I wouldnt mind if 50% of the women gave me a kiss with no romatic involvement involved.


:kiss: better now Bill?...LOL


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## City Bound

Fowler i would verbally declare my feelings and intentions for the woman and then wait for a reply.


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## Fowler

City Bound said:


> Fowler i would verbally declare my feelings and intentions for the woman and then wait for a reply.


So..Ummmmm explain how you would do that, so I can get a visual of how awkward that must look....LOL

Doesn&#8217;t flirting lead up to possibly kissing? So what if you flirting with a girl and she gets the signals that you like her, you then have to declare romantic feelings first, before you kiss? What if after you declare this and she sucks at kissing? Can you take back your romantic declaration?


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## glazed

FarmBoyBill said:


> I wouldnt mind if 50% of the women gave me a kiss with no romatic involvement involved.


:donut:

I can promise you this, Sir, that I WILL kiss you when we finally meet in the flesh someday.

:donut:


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## FarmboyBill

Wait a minutre F. Is she Sucking or kissing. Do women get those mixed up? lol


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## FarmboyBill

Back when young, Id heard of sucking face. Didnt know what it ment tho.


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## coolrunnin

FarmBoyBill said:


> Back when young, Id heard of sucking face. Didnt know what it ment tho.


That is the couples that REALLY need to get a room...LOL


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## FarmboyBill

yuppa lol


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## Fowler

FarmBoyBill said:


> Wait a minutre F. Is she Sucking or kissing. Do women get those mixed up? lol


Maybe?:whistlin:


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## coolrunnin

Fowler said:


> Maybe?:whistlin:


Easy your going to get Bill all in a dither....


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## foxfiredidit

"Some women need to be kissed, and kissed often, by someone who knows how to kiss."


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## glazed

:donut:

Yes.

:donut:


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## Fowler

Yes!!!


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## WolfWalksSoftly

foxfiredidit said:


> "Some women need to be kissed, and kissed often, by someone who knows how to kiss."


What ? No credit to the person who originally said that?

[YOUTUBE]nACj50uq6_s[/YOUTUBE]

Slip her the Tongue..lol


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## glazed

I knew exactly where "it" came from ... Mr. Fox is good, fox is sly.


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## WolfWalksSoftly

I originally thought Rock Hudson..but no, that didn't fit because, well because. Then I remembered who it was.


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## wyld thang

Kissing...I am "hanging out" with someone. I've known him since we were five, and we were each others first kiss. It was a doozy. I'll just say it set the tone for all that for me(and he says, him too). Scoot forward 42 years(O. M. G.) Time to drop him off after going out, he leans in for a hug, and (first time since way back then)kisses the curve of my jaw just under my ear and breathes in deep. O. M. G. I need to stop there, I'm all gooey. Just sayin lips aren't necessarily the big bullseye. Be creative.


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## FarmboyBill

Yes it is the big bulls eye, BUT, hitting the mark close to center dosent hurt either. Probably better not to drop it by a foot on the first couple dates tho LOL


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## unregistered168043

Well she called and we're going out tomorrow night, so I guess I didn't scare her off too bad!


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## vicker

Uh oh! Now you've done it!


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## Countrygrl3

Honestly she sounds shy and prolly massively inexperienced. Clearly she likes you or she wouldnt have called. Sometimes shyness can be mistaken for indifference. Id say take it slow with her but dont be afraid to take a step forward since it definately seems like thats what she is looking for.


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## City Bound

Sounds good darn, good luck.


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## unregistered168043

Thanks CB.


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## City Bound

Fowler, it can be as simple as saying "So and so, I have grown to have feelings for you and I believe I am falling in love with you. Have you grown to have similar feelings for me as well?" Or as personal and poetic as the romantic feeling would inspire.


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## naturelover

Darntootin said:


> Well she called and we're going out tomorrow night, so I guess I didn't scare her off too bad!


:nanner: :dance: :happy: :bouncy:

.


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## FarmboyBill

Love is not a word I would use on the first doz dates. Otherwise she might feel yone used the word flippantly and to create effect. Theres a part even In Romeo and juliet where he says he loves her to create effect, and she kinda blows his efforts off.


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## foxfiredidit

Okay DT, don't take that Clark Gable quote too seriously...I mean if you throw a double lip lock on her at first sight it might put her off a bit.


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## SilverFlame819

Fowler said:


> Your comment went right in line with Shy's comment, and I have no issue with Shy, when slander is being thrown over a comment that was miscontrued then yes someone needs to step up and set the record straight after all that's what friends do. Maybe next time you should consider PMing him to ask if that's how he meant it before throwing it out there. Sometimes it's better just to by-pass a comment or ask in private, that way no one get's thrown under the bus. But as you stated in another thread you're smarter then you're friends, I guess not many in your circle get by with much around you do they?


I have no idea how that could have been misconstrued. It was exactly what was said. I'm sorry you seem to have taken issue with it. No one was thrown under the bus. He suggested doing something that I said I would find super creepy. I'm not sure why you're overreacting to my point of view. Are we having a communication error here or something? 

I never said that I was smarter than my friends. Know more random crap than them, yes. Smarter? No. Talk about misconstruing comments! But for the record: No, they don't. I call my friends on their crap. And if we have misunderstandings, we talk them out. Thanks for caring enough to ask.

In the future, if you take issue with me, you may want to take your own advice and shoot me a PM, rather than being all snarky and defensive about it... And maybe it IS better to bypass comments than address them. But I didn't see you handling that one very well either. If Elk felt like I was out of line or like I was sullying his good name, he could have very easily addressed me, and I could have clarified where I was coming from on my comment. As is, I can't recall ever having said anything bad about him. I simply stated that doing what he suggested would be grounds for me to label someone as a creeper in the real world, in the situation that Darntootin was going through. 

Annnnnnnnnnd I'm done with this ridiculousness.

Sorry for the threadjack, everyone.


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## nancy237

I must chime in..

She sounds like me when I met my husband 10 years ago. 

I knew he liked me a lot and I was interested but kept him as a friend while I was getting to know him. Any pushing on his part may have pushed me away at that stage. I didn't have romantic feelings honestly..just interested in getting to know him better. Then a story book romance and amazing marriage.

This is the stage you should impress her with your attentiveness. 
Listen to her, be supportive, be protective & be patient !! Let her know what you like about her as a person..


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## unregistered168043

Nah, no more kissin. I promise! LOL I'm just gonna be a friend, she knows how i feel now obviously theres no more need to go down that road.


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## unregistered168043

City Bound said:


> Fowler i would verbally declare my feelings and intentions for the woman and then wait for a reply.


Where's the spontaneity? Thats kind of like, do you like me? Yes? OK we're going to kiss now...yes we are kissing now...can I use my tongue?...No? OK we are kissing without tongues. LOL. IDK, I've always ever just 'felt' the signs and moved in for a kiss. Up to this point its usually worked OK.


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## Fowler

Ha Ha Ha ...well CB....LOL

So how will this kiss happen and when?...Open or closed mouth? Tongue, no tongue? Do we embrace or stand apart?

Does she need to read the romantic declaration contract fine print first....LOL

 CB....LOL


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## WolfWalksSoftly

I've heard of Pre Nups, but this is over the top.


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## Shygal

Fowler said:


> SilverFlame819 said:
> 
> 
> 
> Both of you over thunk what Elk was trying to convey ,I guess you thrive on trying to make other's look creepy because you think it makes you look smarter?
> 
> 
> And Shy you went through this hole thread just looking for something to pick on.
> 
> :nono:
> 
> 
> 
> Oh please. Like I have time to just look through threads for something to pick on
> 
> I made my observation on what he said and my reaction if ANY man said that to me. That is all I said. The other stuff you attributed to me, i didnt even say.
> 
> 
> If some man told me he was going to hug, touch , kiss and eventually make love to me, I would back off big time. How is that "picking" on anything, its MY FREAKING THOUGHT on it.
Click to expand...


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## Raven12

Fowler, tackle him and be done with it. Rock his world.


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## FarmboyBill

SEE, she just said she had time to look through threads hopeing


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## Fowler

Shygal said:


> Fowler said:
> 
> 
> 
> Oh please. Like I have time to just look through threads for something to pick on
> 
> I made my observation on what he said and my reaction if ANY man said that to me. That is all I said. The other stuff you attributed to me, i didnt even say.
> 
> 
> If some man told me he was going to hug, touch , kiss and eventually make love to me, I would back off big time. How is that "picking" on anything, its MY FREAKING THOUGHT on it.
> 
> 
> 
> How about if some woman said it to you, because I want to make to love to you my precious.
> 
> [youtube]nP6WoL-QdnE[/youtube]
> 
> 
> I so crack myself up!!
Click to expand...


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## Fowler

Raven12 said:


> Fowler, tackle him and be done with it. Rock his world.


I'm just trying to help CB elaborate on the romantic declaration. In case any future Hutterites that may come on ST looking for a man that likes bonnet wearing women, will know what's expected. That's all....Tee-Hee and besides its fun picking on CB. :icecream:


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## foxfiredidit

CB, if you gotta make a speech prior to asking for the kiss....may be as effective as the Clark Gable method. 

[YOUTUBE]En7fxpAxi-c&feature=related[/YOUTUBE]


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## Fowler

:sob:...my heart just melted.


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## WolfWalksSoftly

Gross! SMUT!


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## Shygal

FarmBoyBill said:


> SEE, she just said she had time to look through threads hopeing


Bill, knock it off. Don't you have some nasty boob comment to make in some other thread?


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## Shygal

Fowler said:


> How about if some woman said it to you, because I want to make to love to you my precious.
> 
> 
> I so crack myself up!!


Nope, I'm not that type of gal :icecream:


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## Fowler

foxfiredidit said:


> CB, if you gotta make a speech prior to asking for the kiss....may be as effective as the Clark Gable method.


or this could happen....LOL

[youtube]054ueNC4CPc[/youtube]


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## City Bound

foxfiredidit said:


> CB, if you gotta make a speech prior to asking for the kiss....may be as effective as the Clark Gable method.
> 
> [YOUTUBE]En7fxpAxi-c&feature=related[/YOUTUBE]



Yes, like this. If you know the person for a while the declaration and the invitation can be deeper and more meaningful. If she feels that same way the union can be deep and meaningful also. After you know each other and have found a pleasant understanding the two people can dig deep and grow a strong sincere love.

There was some nice willow work in that garden.


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## City Bound

Hey Fowler, poo you.

Bill, no, not love in the first few dates. I think it would take a year or more for me to fall in love. I can have warmth and affection before a years time, but even though that is a wonderful feeling it is not what i would consider "Falling in love"


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## foxfiredidit

City Bound said:


> Yes, like this. If you know the person for a while the declaration and the invitation can be deeper and more meaningful. If she feels that same way the union can be deep and meaningful also. After you know each other and have found a pleasant understanding the two people can dig deep and grow a strong sincere love.
> 
> There was some nice willow work in that garden.


In the film, Charlie had met Sue maybe as much as a week or two before he made that speech. Timelines are subjective to circumstance.


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## City Bound

foxfiredidit said:


> In the film, Charlie had met Sue maybe as much as a week or two before he made that speech. Timelines are subjective to circumstance.


True. From the little I saw in the clip i can buy that they had real love because they were older and had lived rough lives. Sometimes a rough life beats some sense into a person.


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## Fair Light

City Bound said:


> Yes, like this. If you know the person for a while the declaration and the invitation can be deeper and more meaningful. If she feels that same way the union can be deep and meaningful also. After you know each other and have found a pleasant understanding the two people can dig deep and grow a strong sincere love.
> 
> There was some nice willow work in that garden.


One of my all time favorite movie scenes....


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## nancy237

City Bound said:


> Sometimes a rough life beats some sense into a person.


Lordy, I must be getting a lot of sense accumulated !!


----------



## City Bound

nancy237 said:


> Lordy, I must be getting a lot of sense accumulated !!


maybe. you never now when the culmination is going to bare fruit and the light goes on.


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## shanzone2001

SilverFlame819 said:


> If this wasn't Elk we were talking about (someone you obviously feel protective of), but some guy that you'd only been acquaintances with in the real world for 3 weeks, and he "warned" you that he was going to sleep with you in the future, you wouldn't find that bizarre?!


Possibly bizarre that he waited that long to say so...especially since he is a full grown man and this is most likely not his first rodeo!!! (And if saying he wants to sleep with me merits a warning, why would I be hanging out alone with him and spending the night at his house?)

And, yes, some of us are protective of our friends here...:kiss:


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## unregistered168043

Haaa, haaaa! Got my kiss and more.

In hindsight I'm glad I went for it the first time even though I got stuffed. It set the stage and tone for the next time. I've been spending all my time with her the last few days, its been great. Thanks everyone for your opinions and advice its was a great help.


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## Fowler

And more?...LOL


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## unregistered168043

Fowler, I'll never tell. LOL.


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## City Bound

I wish you guys happiness Darn.


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## cindilu

Oh my, I know what that more means. M&M's melt in your mouth, not on your hands. My M&M's daughter is still here, spent the night and had decided to spend the day with me, that is how well my little love affair is going. 


Darn, I am proud of you for going for it, ya just never know tell you take that first step.


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## Fowler

I love opening this thread, the first thing I get to see is Kevin Costner....Yummy


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## Raven12

Fowler said:


> And more?...LOL


Toot toot *giggles*


----------

