# Adjusting to Retirement



## Smalltowngirl (Mar 28, 2010)

Did you find it challenging when one spouse retires and is home all day, every day? So far, the only hobby I have figured out that he enjoys is fishing which is great but I worry he's going to be bored out of his gourd after 6 mos.:smack

What tips do you have for someone facing this situation within a year? As a couple, did you divvy up the chores according to who was home the most or did life pretty much continue in whatever manner it was when both were working?:spinsmiley:


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## whiterock (Mar 26, 2003)

I was basically forced to retire after a couple of spells with my heart, and just as I put in for retirement and resigned my position, my wife decided we shouldn't be married anymore, so I also filed for divorce, all in a span of a few months. 

Being suddenly single probably was a good thing for me, as I had the time to do housework and what little yard work was needed, summer drought eliminated the need for mowing, and I let the garden go as I didn't have the strength or desire to keep it up at the time.

I spent the first year redecorating the house to suit me, took a temp job the following spring, and since then have just been playing in the yard/garden, chasin chickens, and browsing the net. Do my Christmas and a lot of shoppin on line. Play Grandpa to DD's kids and a few others I've picked up here and there, have friends out for dinner on occasions, read, and generally stay busy just doin things that need to be done.

Had a GF, but when I broke my legs this spring and they found a chronic form of leukemia that kinda fizzled out. Guess she didn't want a crippled up, sick old man in her life. Still gots lots of friends, still meet folks for dinner, go to auctions. 

Ed


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## Smalltowngirl (Mar 28, 2010)

Ed, it sounds like you had a whole lot to adjust to at retirement time. From your writings, it does sound like you've made the most of your free time. I'm sorry about your health problems. As for the GF, all I can say is sudden health issues was her dealbreaker, it's best to find out now instead of when you were both much older. I do know it still hurts though so I am sorry.


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## ronbre (Apr 26, 2009)

yeah esp when he is mentally and physically disabled and I have to do everything..it is hard to cause he prefers to sleep during the day and stay up all night, which means i can't make noise during the day (vacuum, use blender, mow lawn, etc.) when he is asleep..what a bummer.

he is constantly underfoot if he is awake though so I guess I do appreciate the quiet alone time when he is asleep


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## where I want to (Oct 28, 2008)

One of my favorite stories about my parents is just about this.
When my father retired, he decided "help" my mother around the house. The final straw for my mom came when my father decided to alphabetize the kitchen cabinets- you know, cans of olives "filed" after canned peas.
My mom told him then and there that if he wanted to take over, fine- the kitchen was his. She stopped speaking to him and refused to go into kitchen to cook.
So my father started cooking- then he decided he wanted to shop for what he wanted to cook. He cleaned and prepared three meals a day for both of them.
After awhile, my mom said that it occured to her that this was a pretty good deal for her and it was stupid to keep being mad. For the rest of my father's life, he did this. So my mom actually got to retire too- which is pretty unusual for a wife. 
Both of them were content with the areas they carved out for themselves.


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## Tricky Grama (Oct 7, 2006)

I think it will be interesting to hear everyone's stories.
Whitrock, I'm so sorry for what all has befallen you, you seem to be coping, tho, prayers & good thoughts to you.

WhereIwantto-that is so funny about your parents! 

Something will have to be done here in my house...I retired & DH has been out of work for 2 yrs. Still looks, paper & on line, has an interview now & then but its bleak. So we need to have a 'division of labor' set up b/c I did not retire to cook 3 meals a day & do housework/laundry/gardening.
Every so often I'll go grocery shopping & house will be clean when I get home. Wonderful! This usually happens right b/4 I get to the end of my rope feeling sorry for myself for 'doing it all'. 

On the other hand, we don't get in each other's way, share the 'puter & TV & pretty much keep busy putsying.


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## jwal10 (Jun 5, 2010)

Sweetie retired 5 years ago when son graduated high school due to fibromylga. I semi retired in January. Today full retirement. We will travel a little, stay in a fewa places we like and then settle down. I am 55 she is 52. I make meals, vacuum, wash dishes, a little woodworking and garden and she does laundry, knits, bakes and keeps house when able. When I worked full time I made 90% of our dinners....James


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## Shrek (May 1, 2002)

Retirement often is nothing more than a different job with different goals and options. A hobby can be a facet of the job of retirement as it is a facet of ones previous work career.


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

i have a feeling that had my husband lived to retire it would have been similar to that which (whatiwantto) described. when he use to come home on vacation he spent a lot of time in the kitchen. he was an excellent cook. probably got it from his father who was a chef. he use to clean everything up too which is what i liked because i hated housework. i would rather be outside working myself. ~Georgia.


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## Sweetsong (Dec 4, 2010)

Yes, it's challenging. I really like(d) my space and my time to get things done. He's here almost all the time. He is NOT a neat person and the clothes and stuff around all the time grinds on my nerves. He retired, I work part time, but only two days a week. He has the hobbies of joining singing groups, reading and watching TV/playing computer games. Oh, and he works out and mows the lawn. 

I miss the $$$ and my independence.


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## SageLady (Jun 10, 2008)

Well, DH and I have worked out a daily routine that seems to work pretty well for us. We both work together on getting the chores done early in the day. We both take a break well after lunchtime to do whatever we want for a couple hours. He always goes for a daily walk with the dogs, then usually works on his craft of woodworking. He makes beautiful furniture and usually has a project going at all times. I enjoy that time cooking/baking, reading, napping, surfing the net, etc. We come back together for dinner together in the evening and enjoy a little TV together, and whatever else we can think of.... 

We don't mind spending alot of time together since we spent years not seeing much of each other - him working night shift, me working days, so we really relish our time together now. As long as I have a couple hours of "me time" everyday I am happy.


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## TheMartianChick (May 26, 2009)

My hubby and I aren't retired yet, though we plan for him to retire in the next 2 years at age 55.

However, I saw how things happened when my parents retired. My dad retired during my senior year of high school. It was a difficult adjustment for everybody...

I'd get off the school bus at 3pm after having classes all day without a lunch period and he'd want to know when I was gonna start my homework... No breakfast, no lunch and he was pestering me about homework while I tried to cook a hotdog and watch tv at 3:05... Then there were the gallons of turkey soup that he made after Thanksgiving... By then, he'd learned that I would be coming home hungry and pushed turkey soup on me each and every day.Yep, I love him dearly but he drove me crazy during my senior year!

He drove mom crazy, too... He spent a lot of time installing electric outlets that she had begged him to install for years. The problem was that he would install them halfway up the wall in plain sight. His rationale was that they wouldn't be damaged by flooding! Did I mention that he'd also buy the black outlet covers instead of the white ones to ensure that you could spot them when you were looking for a place to plug something. He also left a trail of everything that he did. Mom could always tell what he had for breakfast, lunch & dinner along with whether or not he'd been outside since there was a trail of food or dirt somewhere.

It was a rough year. I was always amazed that mom never had to throw herself on the mercy of the court in a homicide trial. Once mom retired a year later, things improved. She was able to channel his activities into things that were useful or fun. No police were ever called to the house and nobody suffered permanent psychiatric damage!


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## Nomad (Dec 19, 2002)

I have hobbies that require space like gardening, woodworking and slot car racing. I have been unable to do any of them except for gardening in the last ten years and no garden for the last three. So until we get a place that has a place for those things my biggest challenge of the day is what time my nap will be. We've just been pre-qualified for a VA loan finally and as soon as we send in the packet and get qualified we will be getting a place. And I say it's about time.

Nomad


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## SageLady (Jun 10, 2008)

Nomad said:


> I have hobbies that require space like gardening, woodworking and slot car racing. I have been unable to do any of them except for gardening in the last ten years and no garden for the last three. So until we get a place that has a place for those things my biggest challenge of the day is what time my nap will be. We've just been pre-qualified for a VA loan finally and as soon as we send in the packet and get qualified we will be getting a place. And I say it's about time.
> 
> Nomad


That's great news, Nomad! Happy for you!


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## TheMartianChick (May 26, 2009)

Nomad said:


> I have hobbies that require space like gardening, woodworking and slot car racing. I have been unable to do any of them except for gardening in the last ten years and no garden for the last three. So until we get a place that has a place for those things my biggest challenge of the day is what time my nap will be. We've just been pre-qualified for a VA loan finally and as soon as we send in the packet and get qualified we will be getting a place. And I say it's about time.
> 
> Nomad


Congratulations!


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## lmrose (Sep 24, 2009)

My husband is susposed to be retired but works all day long! There is no retirement when you live off the land as the pioneers did and as we do.We just reduce the work amount by growing less and keeping less animals.This farm was never a business but a way of life. It will remain so as long as we live but we will continue to change how we do things as we age. My husband's father planted a garden in the Spring of 2002 and died December of the same year at 85 years. Mum did her last canning the same fall and lived five more years. She was eating vegetables Dad had helped her can for three years after he died. Life changes but some people never retire.


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## jwal10 (Jun 5, 2010)

Plan out the first year, know what you want to do. Sweetie and I know our schedule and keep it but are able to make changes as we go. 3 weeks today and we are on page 2. Back home at the cottage saturday afternoon. A little rain yesterday and today, still have a few things to do before winter. I brought the tomatoes into the garage before it rained, the rest of the garden will be OK until closer to frost. Corn cut off the cob this morning, cooling before putting in freezer containers. Made and canned 20 pints of tomato juice yesterday. Pulled the onions, need to tie together and hang in the shop in a few days. Made spaghetti yesterday. A little light house cleaning and will head into town to spend some time with Sweeties MOM. The big thing will be making dinner, will stop by the cabin and "catch" a few perch on the way home, pull a couple ears of corn and slice a big ole tomato....James


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