# What I have learned from my previous post.



## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Most people do not have a clue what a soulmate is.
And it shows in your responses.


*women whine, nag, criticize
*Jezebel (manipulative) spirit
*boss guys around like they are nothing
*men, and women, are horn dogs
*buyer's remorse
*Ususally- their penis
*man lacks in the confidence
*our goals are too different
*he lives paycheck to paycheck
*She gets more emotional
*He does not believe he can please her
*healthy sense of self preservation
*takes a while for men to process things
*unable to trust and embrace happiness
*starts to feel like a job is when the relationship has problems
*I'm not sure I believe this 'soulmate' thing at all
*wonderful thing about love...it's not a 'now or never' or a 'I'll never love again like this,' type thing
*not dependent on that some one to be happy
*one word, fear
*Work out your own fears first.
*Get your emotions under control
*If you need to spill your emotional guts, do it on your girlfriends, not your guy. Then speak rationally to your man.


No wonder we are all in failed relationships!!! Look at how we treat each other!

Most of you have complained about the "throw away generation" and look at everyone jumping to throw love away and making excuses for it.

If any of you have ever met your soulmate none of these things would matter.


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## Cabin Fever (May 10, 2002)

Absolutely! I found my forever and ever soul mate when I wasn't even looking for one....


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## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

:donut:

Me, too ... my beshert.

:donut:


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## Fair Light (Oct 13, 2010)

Well, I "thought" I had found my "soul mate"...but apparently he "changed his mind" after 20 years...our marriage wasn't perfect...but none are...I used to believe the concept of "soul mate"...but after my past experiences I don't know if I believe in the concept anymore. Now, I would just be happy with very compatible.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

glazed said:


> :donut:
> 
> Me, too ... my beshert.
> 
> :donut:


I love when you talk Jewish...LOL


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## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

(((hug)))

Thank you for putting up with me.

(((hug)))


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## Tommyice (Dec 5, 2010)

Fair Light said:


> Well, I "thought" I had found my "soul mate"...but apparently he "changed his mind" after 20 years...our marriage wasn't perfect...but none are...I used to believe the concept of "soul mate"...but after my past experiences I don't know if I believe in the concept anymore. Now, I would just be happy with very compatible.


Perhaps "very compatible" is what your soul yearns for and needs?


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

glazed said:


> (((hug)))
> 
> Thank you for putting up with me.
> 
> (((hug)))


I dont put up with anyone, I dont even know what that means.

But I like you alot, just not in a gurl on gurl way....LOL!!


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## Evons hubby (Oct 3, 2005)

Soul mate... Santa Clause... Easter bunny... What else do you "believe in"?? :hysterical:


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Yvonne's hubby said:


> Soul mate... Santa Clause... Easter bunny... What else do you "believe in"?? :hysterical:


I believe you are mean and bitter.


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

Yvonne's hubby said:


> Soul mate... Santa Clause... Easter bunny... What else do you "believe in"?? :hysterical:



listen here jack leg...dont be trolling my friend for sick laughs.

dont you have a wife to go bother.


:flame::flame::flame::flame::flame:


sorry yall this got under my skin today


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## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

:donut:

I love my friends.

:donut:


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## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

elkhound deserves pie


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## Tommyice (Dec 5, 2010)

wyld thang said:


> elkhound deserves pie


And his tummy rubbed too!


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## Evons hubby (Oct 3, 2005)

Fowler said:


> I believe you are mean and bitter.


Naw.... I am not mean or bitter... I just live in the real world.... gave up on fairy tales a long time ago. I find life to be much easier and far more pleasant without all the nonsense.


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## Vickie44 (Jul 27, 2010)

Yvonne's hubby said:


> Naw.... I am not mean or bitter... I just live in the real world.... gave up on fairy tales a long time ago. I find life to be much easier and far more pleasant without all the nonsense.


You are coming in at the end of something you dont understand . Please leave my friend alone to come to her own conclusions.


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## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

:donut:

Dang, I really really love my friends.

:donut:


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

wyld thang said:


> elkhound deserves pie



not really....its just that you dont need to troll or poke a stick at my injured friend.

you can state your opinion here since its a open forum....just dont keep poking and prodding for a reaction.


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

Tommyice said:


> And his tummy rubbed too!


bring a big towel.....and some treats........lol

[youtube]-e-oOQJ7Q1I&feature=related[/youtube]


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## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

elkhound said:


> not really....its just that you dont need to troll or poke a stick at my injured friend.
> 
> you can state your opinion here since its a open forum....just dont keep poking and prodding for a reaction.


do I have to make you eat the pie too?:kiss:

Fowler, Vickie, Tommy and Glazed I need some help over here...


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

wyld thang said:


> do I have to make you eat the pie too?:kiss:
> 
> Fowler, Vickie, Tommy and Glazed I need some help over here...



just look at my belly in the video.....all i need is pie dangled in front of me while yall ride in the truck and run my up and down the logging road......lol


fowler going to be mad at me for jacking her thread..


p.s.i am weaning myself off the mtn dew


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## Ardie/WI (May 10, 2002)

Frankly, I don't believe in the soul mate concept! It's too limiting.

Now, DH and I have been together 35 years, but I also think that I could have been happy and made a good life with any number of other men!


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## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

:donut:

How about a nice, plump, warm donut? It's glazed.



:donut:


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## Tommyice (Dec 5, 2010)

Hang WT, I'm rooting through the linen closet looking for the super soft, super fluffy, Just-for-Elkhound-Tummy-Rub towels I keep in a safe place.

Somehow I don't think if we showed up with pie we'd have any trouble getting him to chow down


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## Tommyice (Dec 5, 2010)

OK Yvonnes' Hubby you just found out that although we may be bananas here in Singletree, we come as a bunch.


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

i know yall......yall hook the pie plate to the fence charger so when i buried my face in it...yall could see my hair stand out.....blow boggers out my nose and fart real loud.....all at the same time.


yall dont fool me one bit


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## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

:banana:

Be careful near the single banana tree, don't slip on our peels.

:banana:


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## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

:donut:

made. me. laugh. out. loud. ew.

:donut:


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

elkhound said:


> listen here jack leg...dont be trolling my friend for sick laughs.
> 
> dont you have a wife to go bother.
> 
> ...


I love you 



glazed said:


> :donut:
> 
> I love my friends.
> 
> :donut:


I love you 



Yvonne's hubby said:


> Naw.... I am not mean or bitter... I just live in the real world.... gave up on fairy tales a long time ago. I find life to be much easier and far more pleasant without all the nonsense.


You're a poop cycle



Vickie44 said:


> You are coming in at the end of something you dont understand . Please leave my friend alone to come to her own conclusions.


And you are the best, I love you


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## Vickie44 (Jul 27, 2010)

:kiss:


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Tommyice said:


> OK Yvonnes' Hubby you just found out that although we may be bananas here in Singletree, we come as a bunch.


I call you all the time, it's a given...:kiss:


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Ardie/WI said:


> Frankly, I don't believe in the soul mate concept! It's too limiting.
> 
> Now, DH and I have been together 35 years, but I also think that I could have been happy and made a good life with any number of other men!


Then you've never had it, you dont limit yourself to finding your soulmate, it just finds you. Then it changes your life forever.


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

I have not had time to read the thread you had talked about Fowler, I have been really busy with my new group of daycare preschoolers and just life in general but here is my take on love/soul/romance.

And remember I am NOT good at this and just learning as I go along. 

Love comes softly, it comes with getting to know a person, talking, laughing, sharing jokes and what is important to you and sharing life in general. 

Love comes when you no longer look at the person because of the class or status they have, but you look at their heart. 

Love comes when you no longer listen to what others think is best for you but when you talk with your special friend and together you decide you want to work on it, through thick and thin and will take what life throws at ya. 

Love comes when the person does not want to change you, how you look or what kind of clothes you wear but are just happy to be with you for YOU. 

Love comes when you know that person has your back and will protect you and keep you safe, some times even from your own bad choices. 

Love comes slowly and softly when you least expect it by the person you least expected to fall in love with. 

Love comes when you think you can live without that person because you can do it on your own but slowly realize you do not see your life without your friend. 

Just my thoughts for now, sorry for the ramblings.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Thank you Cindilu, and it goes even deeper then what you posted.
Also it dosent have to go both ways, one can feel it and the other does not.
One can find their soulmate in another and not have it returned.

I opened myself up completely and allowed another inside, it changes you.

On the brite side it changes you for the better, not worst.
It allows you to see things differently with new born eyes.You overlook flaws, you're kinder, more gentle, speak softly, have tons of patients, you're happier then before, laughing at anything, seeing life as it was meant to be seen, seeing and accepting people as the are, it makes you see your faults and you want to change them to be a better person. It really opens you up for love and all you have to give of yourself.
It's an euphoric awakening in your brain and heart.


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## Vickie44 (Jul 27, 2010)

You can have a soulmate with out possession!


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## Ardie/WI (May 10, 2002)

cindilu said:


> I have not had time to read the thread you had talked about Fowler, I have been really busy with my new group of daycare preschoolers and just life in general but here is my take on love/soul/romance.
> 
> And remember I am NOT good at this and just learning as I go along.
> 
> ...


THAT is what DH and I have! And, he makes me laugh! And he understands my quirky humor!


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## homefire2007 (Sep 21, 2007)

I don't feel bitter or disillusioned because I think differently. Nor do I put those who do believe in a soul-mate concept down. Every love I've had has made me a better person whether it worked out or not. It's like eating a glazed donut......it might not last forever but it sure was enjoyable while it lasted. And if I care to have another, that option is always available


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

We singles muse about what love is, And were likely maybe the least able to express it since we havnt experienced it for so long. Are we just thinking about what love might/should be? Are we creating a web of what love should be and wishing we could insert ourselves into/on it?
I cant remember the feelings associated with love anymore than I remember my first day at grade school, or HS, or driveing my first car, or the first day in the army, or the first day on the first job, or how to play the guitar, or my first, OR LAST sex. Its all wrapped up in ancient memories that have long faded and took with them the vestages of all that encompassed them. The actions, thoughts, ect.

All thats left in my life is today, and tomorrow. Thankfully, they keep me busy enough that I never think of love unless one of you plays a especially poignant song, or gets into a deep discussion about it.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Your WRONG HF That option ISNT always available.


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## homefire2007 (Sep 21, 2007)

FarmboyBill said:


> Your WRONG HF That option ISNT always available.


Then you must reinvent yourself. If it isn't working then you are doing something wrong. There are plenty of ladies here who have tried to give you some advice on what the ladies appreciate in a man. So far....to no avail. Just saying...


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

Yeah Fowler, let's look at how "WE" treat each other.

Not all of us have failed relationships. We may not have the relationships exactly how we originally wanted, but we do maintain important relationships, for years and even decades with members of the opposite sex. I have a failed marriage. It was a fail from "I Do." I did not know I was to always hold or be the emotional gut bucket. I now have the relationship with the ex I want, one with seriously enforced boundaries.

When someone is your "Soulmate" whatever that means to you, or whatever word you use for those special people, there are no mistakes too big or too bad they cannot be undone. All it takes is to back up the bus, and show sensitivity to the other person's needs and comfort zone. Honor those boundaries.

Honor yourself first, your child within. Meet HER needs first, give to HER first and make sure she is filled and okay. Only then will your neediness not blind you to the needs of others, and you can see and CARE when you're skating over the boundaries of someone's else's comfort zone. 

2 more things to add to the list of why men walk, kinda' related to each other. NEEDINESS and UNSAFE.

So you have a few weeks to spill your guts to your friends. Take this time to get in touch with you and meet your needs of your inner Fowler. When you see Soulmate again, you can be more calm and centered in yourself. He WILL notice. You may not get the great romance you desire from him, but you can have the lifelong friendship if you want it.


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## calliemoonbeam (Aug 7, 2007)

Fowler, I didn't respond on your other thread, but I believe in soul mates. I know first-hand the experience of finding that one perfect person...and of losing him. But I also believe there can be other loves in your life that you can be happy with. It won't be the same as with your soul mate, but it can still be very good. 

We had a discussion on that very subject just a little over a year ago in here. It was probably the first time I really bared my soul on here, and I was scared I'd be laughed at or ridiculed. Like most of these kinds of threads, it started out well, but then degenerated into talk of lust and lingerie, lol, and then finally into the usual cynics and pot stirrers trying to pick a fight. Here's a link to that thread, if anyone is interested: http://www.homesteadingtoday.com/specialty-forums/country-singletree/405211-love.html

I don't know you well and don't post much any more, but I'm sorry for your hurt and for what you're going through. I can't tell you that you'll get over him or quit loving him, but I can tell you it will get easier with time, and you'll cherish the good memories, and the bad ones won't hurt so much. {{{hugs}}}


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

HF. I think that idea of Reinventing yourself works for women better than men. They do it all the time. From outside mainly. How far it gets inside I dont know, But, Id say that we guys start out pretty much being what we end up as.

AND

Isnt REINVENTING creating a fake of what a person actually is, AND how long can a person put on the reinvented being he has tried to become before it plain wears him out, or bores him, or exhausts him in trying to be something/somebody he isnt and didnt start out to be.


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## Guest (Sep 13, 2012)

You must know some very strange women.
Odd, you don't *seem* that adventurous.


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

calliemoonbeam said:


> Fowler, I didn't respond on your other thread, but I believe in soul mates. I know first-hand the experience of finding that one perfect person...and of losing him. But I also believe there can be other loves in your life that you can be happy with. It won't be the same as with your soul mate, but it can still be very good.
> 
> We had a discussion on that very subject just a little over a year ago in here. It was probably the first time I really bared my soul on here, and I was scared I'd be laughed at or ridiculed. Like most of these kinds of threads, it started out well, but then degenerated into talk of lust and lingerie, lol, and then finally into the usual cynics and pot stirrers trying to pick a fight. Here's a link to that thread, if anyone is interested: http://www.homesteadingtoday.com/specialty-forums/country-singletree/405211-love.html
> 
> I don't know you well and don't post much any more, but I'm sorry for your hurt and for what you're going through. I can't tell you that you'll get over him or quit loving him, but I can tell you it will get easier with time, and you'll cherish the good memories, and the bad ones won't hurt so much. {{{hugs}}}


What a difference. Dang, I've done a 180. Now I know what Fowler has been talking about. I was in a bad place.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Z I dont know any women, and im likely grasping at vapors of a past ive long since forgotten.


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

Well I'm just putting this out there for any an all potential soul mates soulless mates vampires crazies any sorta supernatural beings mythical creatures an all other factions of any potential mate. I'm not into trannies! No I used to be a man or half woman or any combantion of that. True love with me is not blind or dumb.


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## Guest (Sep 13, 2012)

I was helping my buddy replace the tranny in one of those old Merita bread trucks, and he broke off 2 bolts. I liked to turn purple laughing. He was cussing up a blue streak. We left it with a couple huge C clamps holding it together. That was like, 1979 or something.


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

I was gonna post something cute & clever,,,Then a thought hit me...I need to ask first....


Fowler,,Do you have a handful of poo?


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

Raven12 said:


> What a difference. Dang, I've done a 180. Now I know what Fowler has been talking about. I was in a bad place.


I'm glad you're in a better place now. Do you still think of him as The True Love Soulmate? 

Reading that thread was certainly a blast from the past. I feel very blessed to still have all three men in my life even though things aren't the way I wish them to be. I don't have those kinds of superpowers. I value these men enough as people to work with what we have.


L.A, if Fowler had poo she woulda' slung it at me already.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

*callie*, your story has touched me and so far you are one of 3 people out of thousands on HT that has been blessed with this phenomenon. Thank you for sharing.


And Thank you Laura for blessing me with your masculine presence, I can only hope that when I grow up my penis is a big as yours.

*LA *that was the cutest, cleverest post of the day, you may have a free poo pass 

Mav, I think you and Zong need to honor your inner tranny and Meet HER needs first, give to HER first and make sure she is filled and okay. Only then will your neediness not blind you to the needs of others, and you can see and CARE when you're skating over the boundaries of someone's else's inner Tranny zone. 

basically you two just need to put on a dress and give us all a fashion show...LOL!!!


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## Sourdough (Dec 28, 2011)

What I have learned from my previous post. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Most people do not have a clue what a soulmate is.

I could be content with a Sex-Mate. Maybe a soulmate is a Sexmate with wings......:angel:


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

How many redbulls would one have to drink?....LOL


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## Sourdough (Dec 28, 2011)

Fowler said:


> How many redbulls would one have to drink?....LOL


As butt'UGLY as I am you will want to be mainlining tequila..........:banana:


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## Guest (Sep 14, 2012)

Fowler said:


> ..............
> 
> Mav, I think you and Zong need to honor your inner tranny and Meet HER needs first, give to HER first and make sure she is filled and okay. Only then will your neediness not blind you to the needs of others, and you can see and CARE when you're skating over the boundaries of someone's else's inner Tranny zone.
> 
> basically you two just need to put on a dress and give us all a fashion show...LOL!!!


Well, I can't speak for Mav, but I have some very interesting videos from a couple nights ago. I could post them somewhere, if you want to see a real show. Warning, you will be disturbed. I had to get drunk just to do it. The first time. It involves me, a big woman, and a cowboy hat. You can't even tell theres a lesbian inside me. Well, maybe you can.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

I was thinking how many 8 balls, pink panty droppers, or just go all out and mix up a devils brew...LOL!!!


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Zong, can I get drunk first? I dont wanna go blind...LOL


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## Guest (Sep 14, 2012)

Sourdough said:


> As butt'UGLY as I am you will want to be mainlining tequila..........:banana:


"mainlining" is passe. Us hep cats call it "banging".
" I'm gonna be banging some midol, so if I don't answer the phone, I'll get back with ya"


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## Guest (Sep 14, 2012)

Fowler said:


> Zong, can I get drunk first? I dont wanna go blind...LOL


I'm surprised at some of the disgusting things women want me to do. I mean, $4.75 really ain't all that much.


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

Yea Im just gonna stick with my original thought. I'm defnitly not taking fashion tips from Zong he wears clown shoes size 14 or something.


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

zong said:


> I'm surprised at some of the disgusting things women want me to do. I mean, $4.75 really ain't all that much.


There are 8 million stories in the naked city. That's one I sure am glad I'll not be seeing. 

Everyone's trying to find out the secrets to the mysteries of love and life. It's been here in front of you all the time.:hammer: 

Pie!!:thumb:

Karl


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

And if I was 10 years younger... Doughnuts... Glaazzzzed doughnuts. 

Karl


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## Tommyice (Dec 5, 2010)

maverickxxx said:


> Yea Im just gonna stick with my original thought. I'm defnitly not taking fashion tips from Zong he wears clown shoes size 14 or something.


Is it true what they say about the size of a clown's shoes? :cute:


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## Guest (Sep 14, 2012)

All I ever heard was "it's hard to find shoes like that at Kmart."


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

Tommyice said:


> Is it true what they say about the size of a clown's shoes? :cute:


Wouldn't know about that, but I heard something once about two guys, a clown nose, and some kind of felching mishap. ~~~~Where's the shudder smiley?


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

Laura said:


> I'm glad you're in a better place now. Do you still think of him as The True Love Soulmate?


Let me first say that I am constantly growing. I make mistakes like everyone else and I am honestly trying to learn from them. Those comments in Callie's post were about my ex husband. I was a tad bitter at the time. Lol. 

Since then I was hit by a cosmic mack truck. Was it a true love soulmate? Well, since nothing is ever simple or normal for me, it was more like a long lost twin separated at birth. I never experienced that deep of a connection before and I will never experience it again. 

I used to sit here and read posts and think, "Man, those people are crazy". Then I was struck by lightning and became one of "those" people. Watch out, Laura, it may happen to you.


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

Now there ain't a thing wrong with being one of "those" people! After all, we are a good group.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

> Watch out, Laura, it may happen to you.


It has happened to me 3 times. I decide any man I believed that strongly in was worth doing the work to keep him or bring him back into my life. That meant learning to take care of my own stuff first. 

I would like for it to happen again someday. I would like a lot of things to happen.

Most men it doesn't matter they leave your life. Then there are the rare gems. If we value them we'll do the work. We put boundaries on them and on ourselves and respect his boundaries for the sake of long-term relationship, whatever form it may take on this convoluted road of life.


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## Farmer Willy (Aug 7, 2005)

Yvonne's hubby said:


> Naw.... I am not mean or bitter... I just live in the real world.... gave up on fairy tales a long time ago. I find life to be much easier and far more pleasant without all the nonsense.


How sad for you. I'm a guessin from you comments you never found yours. It don't surprise, most don't. They just settle for the best they can find and hope it's enough.


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## Evons hubby (Oct 3, 2005)

Farmer Willy said:


> How sad for you. I'm a guessin from you comments you never found yours. It don't surprise, most don't. They just settle for the best they can find and hope it's enough.


I wouldnt get out the tissues just yet on my account. I have had my share of gooduns along with the disasters. You have obviously misread my posts if you think I have ever "settled for the best I could find". Thats just not my style. I have always honestly believed "this is the one" going into all three of my marriages. Hindsight has a way of seeing through the deceptions (both self inflicted and otherwise) a bit better than foresight though, and I have learned a little since my first close encounters with that strange and wonderful species known as girls back in the third grade. One of the most important lessons I think I have picked up along the way is to not bs myself. A tidbit I have tried to pass on to others when I see them doing it. It leads to disaster everytime.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

I always thought my 3 were the best I could find. That the better ones were just playing with me and Id never land one of them.


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## Evons hubby (Oct 3, 2005)

FarmboyBill said:


> I always thought my 3 were the best I could find. That the better ones were just playing with me and Id never land one of them.


Ok, seems like now would be a good time for you to go back now and re read that line about tryin to BS yourself.


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## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)

elkhound said:


> listen here jack leg...dont be trolling my friend for sick laughs.
> 
> dont you have a wife to go bother.
> 
> ...


I wanted to "like" this 100 times but I couldn't so I'm quoting it instead because it deserved kudos. Elkhound, you rock! :rock: 

.


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## Shrek (May 1, 2002)

Fowler said:


> Most people do not have a clue what a soulmate is.
> And it shows in your responses.
> 
> 
> ...


Fowler,

First off "soul mate" is an ambiguous term generally preferred by those have difficulty describing the abstract without some level of concrete term.

Combine that with the fact that in both the abstract and concrete view the term " soul mate" always has a set time frame until it expires and those who cannot understand it , never will.

Some who simply set out to enjoy life stumble across the soul mate abstract and enjoy it as a part of their enjoyment of a life relationship until the abstract concept expires with the death of their partner or they and their partner find that instead of continuing to grow entwined they are growing in different directions.

We often hear of widows and widowers losing the one they called their soul mate for decades and finding a new soul mate after their grieving.

We also hear of folks who have had many soul mate grade relationships until they grew apart and moved on and as T.G Sheppard sang in the early 1980s, they loved em every one .

Sprinkled in with the above you have the occasional ones who some coroners wish they could put died of a broken heart to follow their soul mate and those who couldn't find themselves a mate if they were given free run of a penitentiary for the opposite sex with a fist full of signed pardons.

All anyone searching for the abstract concept of a soul mate can do is enjoy life, move on if it becomes necessary and hope the abstract presents itself as they enjoy their life.

For those who lament at never finding a mate or life that suits them, they can choose to accept that they don't have a offering that interests those whom they have an interest in and sit and wait or they can redefine themselves before going on into life for their next test run.

The most important thing to keep in mind is if anyone ever says "its not you. its me" as they travel on to life away from you, they're lying. It really is you because if it wasn't they wouldn't be leaving. 

Romance isn't rocket science. Its simply life lived with added flavor. Unfortunately sometimes the food of life begins tasting like oatmeal without the sugar and cinnamon.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

edger cayce the famous phycic medium says that we have many soul mates in life and through out eternity and that we cross paths with each other when we need each other. Each soul mate is special though and unique


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## mekasmom (Jan 19, 2010)

Fowler said:


> *women whine, nag, criticize
> *Jezebel (manipulative) spirit
> *boss guys around like they are nothing
> 
> ...


I have been married for almost 40yrs. That is not a failed relationship. And I was the one who posted the above things. 
I can only talk about what I have SEEN and HEARD in church counseling type activities and in churches. A vast majority of marriages break up due to the fact that women do nitpick and nag at men. And it is a Jezebel/Ahab type spirit. Good Lord, If I had to live with some women I would run away too. Honestly. They do screech about anything and everything too often. And women cause the majority of the breakups in marriages that I have seen. Then they come in crying, and even though you feel for them, you can't overlook the fact that they chased the guy off. It happens again and again and again.

Most men are soft at heart. Don't get me wrong there are some that are just nasty, but most are really soft at heart. In fact they are emotionally weaker than women usually because they don't have the ability to express themselves as well, so they keep it all inside. They are stronger on the outside, but much weaker on the inside. And many times women pick at them so often and so long that it just crushes their self confidence, their joy, and their hearts.

If you want to keep a good relationship , a little kindness and compassion goes a long way. You don't always have to be right (even if you are). You don't always have to win a disagreement. You don't always have to do things your way (even if your way is the right way). Those things just don't matter. If you just make it your mission to make your mate feel like he is successful, brilliant, strong, and make him want to come home, you can have a long term life-long relationship in the vast majority of cases.
Do you watch people walk around the grocery store? Women lead the way, and men follow. It is always like that. They will follow you anywhere if they are happy and feel important, wanted, respected, and loved. You don't have to lead them or push them or prod them. They just follow if you make them want to be around you.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

I hope you live to be 100, cause that will make one LOOOOOOOOONG good marriage in a world where there are so few.


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## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

what have I learned about soulmates?

there is not just one for each person, there are a heck of a lot of them out there...almost 7 billion people on this earth, that's a lot of potential

both male and female...and I think I would define soulmate as kindred spirit on crack

you may have a lifetime with them, or 5 minutes, or even pass someone on the street, look em in the eye, and just KNOW

each one is a wonderful individual

and soulmate status is no guarantee things will go welll. we all make our choices, we all screw up, and sometimes things dont end well,(or have many messy middles, or both) life is a beach and then you die. if you can remember someone with love, you win 

but dont' let that stop you for keeping on the search! 

all who wander are not lost! ha!


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## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

ps, I found one from my past last night at the contra dance, a girl I went to high school with and we were wonderful friends. Can't wait to get together with her this week, we were sharing our lives(haven't seen her for 30 years) and it is absolutely freaky how paralell they have been.

really, I swung round and there she was...sometimes it's really that easy


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## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)

City Bound said:


> edger cayce the famous phycic medium says that we have many soul mates in life and through out eternity and that we cross paths with each other when we need each other. Each soul mate is special though and unique


This ^ for sure.

.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life. 
*Richard Bach* 


&#8220;Friends will keep you sane, Love could fill your heart, A lover can warm your bed, But lonely is the soul without a mate.&#8221;

*David Pratt*


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

There are many souls that will cross our path in our journey of life and they teach us many lessons.
But there is only one mate for our soul.

*~Me~*


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## Farmer Willy (Aug 7, 2005)

City Bound said:


> edger cayce the famous phycic medium says that we have many soul mates in life and through out eternity and that we cross paths with each other when we need each other. Each soul mate is special though and unique


I believe he has confused a soul mate with an easy hook up. Anyone that has been blessed to find their soul mate will know the difference. Psychic medium pretty much says it all.


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

oh i dont know about that. my friend was a follower of Edgar Caycee. she also believed this. she had a wonderful first marriage like mine. then another man who practically worshipped her same as her first. they went within a month of each other. my love was my soul mate also . i still hold out hope to find another. i think with all the people in this world there could be more than one out there for us. ~Georgia.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Farmer Willy said:


> I believe he has confused a soul mate with an easy hook up. Anyone that has been blessed to find their soul mate will know the difference. Psychic medium pretty much says it all.


Well, an easy hook up or a one night stand can be spiritually healing and wonderful moments for two people if the chemistry is right. Sure, we will have soul mates that we will spend a life time with as husband and wife, if being married supports the two soul mates spiritual evolution. 

Soul mates do not have to be lovers. Souls mates can be friends and family. Not all soul mate relationships are honky dory. Sometimes soul mates have karma to work out from shared past life times.

In heaven we are all soul mates of one kind or other.


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## Ardie/WI (May 10, 2002)

Shrek, who knew you are so wise! The same goes for Makasmom, Wyld thang and City Bound!

As I've said before, if my DH and I wouldn't have worked, I'm confident that I would have met another to fill my life. Soul mate or not!

Fowler, I'm suggesting that this "soul mate" idea is what prevents you from having a solid relationship. I'm saying this with kindness now. You might be looking an an ideal that scares the wits out of men and sends them screaming into the night.

DH would tell you that the second thing that he found attractive is that I made him laugh. It was, and still is, light-hearted with us. I asked him if he thought I was his soul mate and he looked at me as if I grew another head!


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Ardie, ask him if he wants to merge with you, that might make him look at you sideways.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

I'm done with defending what most of you have never felt. I just recently was given this gift. I am thankful that I had the pleasure of receiving it. I am sadden for those who may never feel this, but I am honered that I did. 

Whats keeping me from having a solid relationship is close minded scared people. I could walk out to the end of the road and someone would find me attractive and want a relationship with me. But it takes someone special that wants to know the real you from inside, a deep connection in your soul. They could be the least attractive person in the world and become the most attractive person in my eyes by just opening up and allowing yourself to feel and be loved unconditionally. Only the ones who have met there soulmates will understand this statement.


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## defenestrate (Aug 23, 2005)

I have been crushed by plenty of "soulmates" and others might have stood the test of time, but didn't, and the reasons vary as widely as those women do. I seem to have a good one, as we look after one another and we have been through a lot together and come out better for it. If I were single, at least a few of my exes, at the right place and time, might be keepers, but while I have learned a great deal about what does not work for me (and what traits of mine are not likely to work for most others), it is still learning every day with my SO, and my life is better with her in it. That's what really counts.


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## Ardie/WI (May 10, 2002)

City Bound said:


> Ardie, ask him if he wants to merge with you, that might make him look at you sideways.


Our merging has never been sideways, thank you very much!


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## Smalltowngirl (Mar 28, 2010)

Raven12 said:


> Since then I was hit by a cosmic mack truck. *Was it a true love soulmate? Well, since nothing is ever simple or normal for me, it was more like a long lost twin separated at birth*. I never experienced that deep of a connection before and I will never experience it again.


That person may have been your Twin Flame.

Twin Flames, introduction by Antera


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

Thank you, Smalltowngirl.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

I read a book on the twin flames it was good. It was by some spiritual group that the actress who played wonder woman belongs to.

I do not believe in twin flames, but I like the romance of the idea.


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

Maybe you should open yourself up to new possibilities. There is a lot to learn from life but most aren't willing to try. Faith is a scary obstacle to most.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

raven, i believe in soul mates, eternal and everlasting bond of love and community, but i do not believe i was split in half. I believe I have been and always will be, one soul, myself. 

If others believe that then that is ok with me. I am not saying they are wrong, I am just saying that the idea does not resonate with me.


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## Ardie/WI (May 10, 2002)

defenestrate said:


> I have been crushed by plenty of "soulmates" and others might have stood the test of time, but didn't, and the reasons vary as widely as those women do. I seem to have a good one, as we look after one another and we have been through a lot together and come out better for it. If I were single, at least a few of my exes, at the right place and time, might be keepers, but while I have learned a great deal about what does not work for me (and what traits of mine are not likely to work for most others), it is still learning every day with my SO, and my life is better with her in it. That's what really counts.


Great post!

There was one relationship that couldn't take the test of time and it was just as well. In retrospect, it was TOO MUCH! He and I created sparks when we were together. We would have made each other unhappy in the long run. If he was my so called soul mate, it's just as well he and I parted. It was just too much.

DH and I have stood the test of time and came out laughing!


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## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

City Bound said:


> raven, i believe in soul mates, eternal and everlasting bond of love and community, but i do not believe i was split in half. I believe I have been and always will be, one soul, myself.
> 
> If others believe that then that is ok with me. I am not saying they are wrong, I am just saying that the idea does not resonate with me.


CB--this last year my motto that the universe gave to me(heh) was NEVER SAY NEVER. Along with this is thinking at things along ying/yang, embracing both sides, putting aside preconceived moral dogma (though of course there are things I will not do, that harm). Once youopen yourself up to being open, it's amazing the things that come your way. I just keep running into stuff that is just, WOW.

I'm skeptical too of hippy dippity doo---BUT, it's really sad to throw the baby out with the bathwater, one misses so much. And there really is wonderful crazy stuff out there...I surely believe we are on the cusp of something amazing, NOT apocalyptic though. It's all about the critical mass...what is your heart made of, love or not love. If it is love, in enough people...

So, ref the twin flame/soulmate definitions above...a few months ago I made a "commitment" that I'm gonna find my soulmates/kindred spirits/fellow wild things. Life is short, gonna be even more seizin/squeezin/suckin n all that. Love the def of soulmates as the family that you are a part of...YES. Once I decided to find,I started FINDING. Yes, it is like family and the recognition in their eyes is...way cool.

The twin thing, yes, I def have a person who is that to me. Dont' know if we're meant to make a life together--not forcing it, just letting it be. But yes, that is exactly how I described it, the person is my twin--not half of the same person. It's something that can't be conveyed to someone who has not been there. When you find this, it will blow your mind. All I can say is that this relationship/connection is outside anything else in my life. I am content just to know him and know what I know. Very possible I will spend the rest of my life with others, that's cool.

So, just sayin, dont' let the "BUY MYBOOK/CD/LIFECOACHING SKILZ" stuff run you off (that bugs me too), there is an element of truth.

And one more thing, the people who are truly enlightened will be the first to say they aren't, and they don't even know they are, IMHO.


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