# I'm REALLY scared....



## themamahen (Jun 26, 2005)

I took the cash out of my home equity to secure a second place if tshtf.

However, the place I want to live is 1800 miles away. Which means my dh will have to find new work. he has been with the same company for 10 years is a supervisor, and I am really worried about financial stress. he makes 50g a year. 

We have X amount to spend on a place. 

Our house gets listed at the end of the month and HOPEFULLY we will be able to build our house and be debt free.

where i live i could buy 10 acres for ALOT out there i could buy 25 to 30. It is very hard to grow the amount of food to feed your family here almost if not entirely, IMPOSSIBLE. which is one of the reasons i want to leave here
2 things are bothering me the most 

1~ DH's job

2~ there are MORE people there and there not the best of people. (in the county)
here i dont have to lock garage watch 4 wheelers tools in yards kids in yard playing exc. there i have to worry about everything, i know I lived there before. theives, violence exc. 

Is it worth it???????? 

My family lives in the other state Ky. my DD's want to move there for that reason. i have no family here.

the property I am looking at tho is rural being 13 miles out of town. nearest town with a pop. of 50,000 is an hours drive. 

I am scared to move. need advice please. 
TIA


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## Jim-mi (May 15, 2002)

To try to sell a house now . . .Wow

To leave an <Existing> good paying job . . .Wow

I but wonder but that your timeing is way Off

Just those two items ought to scare anybody.


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## Ruby (May 10, 2002)

My advice, go back and read your post. Make believe someone else is asking YOU that question. What would be your answer to them.

Some time peace of mind is worth more than anything else.


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## AngieM2 (May 10, 2002)

One thing- this "I took the cash out of my home equity to secure a second place if tshtf."

Now for the rest of the post, is it about this second place that sounds as if it is becoming a primary residence if you go thru with the move.
So, are you going to have 2 places or one? And have you and your hubby discussed this? you both have to be of a same or very similar mind for this to work. Then the rest of the issues would have to be addressed.

Angie
(the confused)


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## MisFitFarm (Dec 31, 2007)

You were absolutely miserable in Idaho, and so excited to be going back to Kentucky. What has changed that? I live in Kentucky, 11 miles from the nearest large town. There is violence every where now a days, and bad people among the good. You bought a beautiful piece of property, just slow down, take a deep breath, and try to relax. Everything will work out, just take one day at a time.


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## Callieslamb (Feb 27, 2007)

You are wise to be scared with all you are considering in this move. Fright breeds caution which you will need. What you are doing isn't a small thing! I do hope you can get your place sold quickly. Any luck on a job yet? That would be my biggest worry! Not sure I could make a move without that in place first. 

Good luck.


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## pickapeppa (Jan 1, 2005)

Maybe there is good reason for being scared. Are you sure leaving security for insecurity is a good thing? I can understand being miserable in a location, btdt. The difference being, that misery was brought on by insecurity due to neighborhood violence among other uncontrollable aspects of the neighborhood. 

But I'm easy to please. Security makes me happy - anywhere, and everywhere.


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## themamahen (Jun 26, 2005)

Well, since i decided to move... to ky, the economy has gone way DOWN to pot, unemployment is rising country going into recession, and then i went home for a visit and argued with 2 of the 5 family members. i hadnt seen them since Xmas 4 months and got into a BAD arguement with my dad and my brother. at different times lol. 

My dh does Not want to move but he knows i do not like it here, BUT would I be happier there knowing that is a worse place to live in terms of crime neighbors freedoms, i live in idaho and pretty much do what i want. 

Cannot find a job until the house is sold which could very well take 2 years to do... AND what if i cant sell because the recession keeps going, and is it a good time to buy now??? and NO i am NOT keeping both places the house which we live in now we bought to sell 10 years ago to do exactly what i plan on doing now. 

I cannot keep this house as I owe over 140,000 g on it 15 years at 800 a month NO TY. would rather sell downsize and be debt free. but am i going into the frying pan?? 

SO STRESSED cant sleep!!!!


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## AngieM2 (May 10, 2002)

Mamahen - this is just MY thinkings and give it whatever weight you want.

1. The economy going to heck fast - Yep, that's real. It's hitting me and distroying reasonable hopes of me being able to purchase land/house. I see that you have an existing mortgage and are able to pay it with your hubby's current job. In this day and economic climate, I'd be hesitating like crazy to change it.

2. Your hubby doesn't want to move, that is a biggy right there. If he is miserable or at least very dissatisfied, and you are not EXTREMELY happy with this move that is at your instigation - I can see you two having marital problems in the no so distant future.

3. Crime - and crime free. How realistic is this, or just your perceptions? How do you know the difference. If it is something measureable, I'd hesitate and stay put in ID... if it were just a strong feeling in my bones - I've learned to listen to my bones and not go against them or I regret it. It may or may not be the same for you.

4. You are realistic (in my opinion) to be very concerned about selling a house in this financial climate, and it could be 2 weeks or 2 years, depends on your current city's inventory of for sale houses and how well you present it and if you are willing to mark it low enough to 'give it away'.

5. Now what was the big reason you cannot stand ID? And maybe you could find a smaller place dollarwise near you, or nearer hubby's work and get your finaces better and feel better.

6. You cannot go back home in the manner that you remember. Distance and time makes all things look much better, and family moves on without you and all the old warts and issues are still there, unless you accept them and they you - it will not be your fairy tale, wished for ending.

Think hard, talk to your hubby and let him lead - it's his life too and he has to be happy also.

Just my thoughts.
Angie


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## spiffydave (Mar 19, 2008)

What I've seen in the Idaho market is that the only way to sell a house right now is to discount it way, way, way down. I'm sure this is similar to many spots in the U.S. right now.

Are you in Northern Idaho, Southeast, or Treasure Valley area?


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## Jerngen (May 22, 2006)

I would stay in Idaho, buying a cheaper place within reasonable driving distance of DH's workplace (if you can sell your current place in this market).


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## fretti (Jun 30, 2007)

themamahen said:


> ...SO STRESSED cant sleep!!!!


I once found myself in the same position. I had made a decision that made me so nervous that I couldn't sleep and I felt like I had an elephant on my shoulders. I really analyzed the move to Texas and decided that it was absolutely the wrong thing to do. The elephant disappeared that same day. 

With the two scenarios you've painted, it sounds like one of you is going to be miserable. The difference is that in one situation, you may have the burden of an unsold house 1800 miles away (with a mortgage?), a second mortgage to pay, no source of income, a family relationship that isn't what you remember, and an economy that is tanking daily, possibly into recession/depression. 

Running away from the misery isn't going to make it better. Deal with the misery by attending counseling or finding an outlet that will help you adjust. Is there something special you like to do? Get involved with the community. There are good/great people in Idaho (yeah, I'm an Idahonian by birth) that are just waiting for you to join them.


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## themamahen (Jun 26, 2005)

> The difference is that in one situation, you may have the burden of an unsold house 1800 miles away (with a mortgage?), a second mortgage to pay, no source of income, a family relationship that isn't what you remember, and an economy that is tanking daily, possibly into recession/depression.


No i will not have a 2nd mortgage. the land i will buy will be paid for in cash. the house I live in is my only mortgage, So by selling the house taking the profit 40 to 60G and build a new house on land i already own then i can be debt free. The family has NOT changed i know that also know you can never go "Home" so to speak. 



> Running away from the misery isn't going to make it better. Deal with the misery by attending counseling or finding an outlet that will help you adjust. Is there something special you like to do? Get involved with the community.


I have lived here 10 years I have NOT been happy for 8 of those years. I am not running away from misery so to speak~ I dont need counseling. How do you get couseling for the weather???? It's COLD here winter starts in Oct. first frost Sept 15 we still have snow here now 32 tommorow! 

I HATE THE WEATHER I HATE THE SNOW!!! it's snows here until the end of flipping may! 

I was not born here I was born in KY where we have 4 seasons, in idaho you have 2 summer and winter. 

I have NO family here, which means my children have no family near them, DH's family is 6 hours away too.

I live in a mostly LDS community, I do not attend the church so i am not an insider you know. they do things differently than i do No smoking drinking coffee, No BBQ's no horsesshoes nothing like that. It's a culture clash is all. Great people but just not in same social circle. 


I


> would stay in Idaho, buying a cheaper place within reasonable driving distance of DH's workplace (if you can sell your current place in this market).


but i would still have the weather gardening issues unless i bought a place an hour away in Utah.



> Think hard, talk to your hubby and let him lead - it's his life too and he has to be happy also.


thanks Angie you made good points. My DH knows how miserable I am here, that's why he is willing to go, he says "you are unhappy here and I can pretty much make lemonade out of lemons wherever I go so u pick a spot that will make you happy"

He just wants to make me happy He is a wonderful person, But buying property now uprooting my family going into the UNKNOWN jobs exc. has me very worried.

I lived in this same county where this land is and I know the crime rates 25 years there. I know the people. and ID is a much safer place to live and raise your children. 

:grit: I am so frustrated right now.


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## AngieM2 (May 10, 2002)

Can you pick a safer area of KY that is within a reasonable driving distance to your family? Next county over or something like that?

Angie


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## themamahen (Jun 26, 2005)

i have lived in the surrounding areas as well~ unfortunately they are all the same.


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## turtlehead (Jul 22, 2005)

It sounds like you're bent on leaving your current location, and from what you say your husband supports that.

It also sounds like you're not 100% satisfied with the destination you've chosen. Perhaps the destination is the problem?


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## hintonlady (Apr 22, 2007)

Why not something outside of the "Kentucky crime area". If you really MUST move do so but do it sane and carefully. Don't jump from the frying pan into the fire. Even a 3 to 6 hour drive to the folks isn't major, you know? Having a bit of distance can sometimes be a blessing. You would have privacy and still be close enough to run by for a weekend trip.

My guess is if you are really concerned about SHTF being in a high crime area is not a good idea. A nice property with good gardening in a nice area is out there to be found, believe me. You have to make priorities. Which is highest on your list?

Family, gardening, low crime, employment stability. etc. 

Then base your choices on that. You may not be able to have them all, you may have to compromise.

Yes, the economy is awful but it is easy to assume the worst fears. Remember Y2K? Are you sure you want to base a lifelong decision that will affect your whole family on a fear that is possibly not going to impact you? Even if we hit an ugly depression it does not mean the S will HTF. 

As it is there is no guarantee your hopes of selling at a profit are going to happen. Would you want to lose a bigger valued home to the bank in order to live in something smaller and possibly get stuck with another mortgage due to lack of home sale profit? (that is a major step back in life) That equity will do you no good until it is in your pocket.

You really need to shut off the nightly news and preparedness forum for awhile. Get some fresh air and perspective. Preparing is one thing, abandoning a life for another haphazardly in a panic is a terrible idea. You have plenty of time until the next dreaded winter starts. Wait awhile and meditate on it long and hard. The housing market already sucks so it's not like your losing a golden opportunity.

Selling one home, floating another, letting go of a good income in an unstable economy are all major things, combine them and you have major risk.

If you really must do this, do it thinking clearly, planning well and making good small steps. At the worst it takes a bit longer but you get what you really want and have no regrets later. This is absolutely NOT a decision to be made in fear.

If DH is okay with it and wants you to be happy, good go for it. That doesn't mean he shouldn't get a say in how or when the various steps come into play. (job search, home sale etc.) That should be shared choices, no?


edited to add: I fully understand the winter blues and the feeling of complete desperation to escape. Just don't put yourself in as bad of a "state" only in another hometown with a wreck of repurcussions from not thinking something through. Imagine how blue you will be with a smaller house, bad crime and a husband out of work. I have been in your position and made similar choices, this is VERY BIG, take it easy.


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## reluctantpatriot (Mar 9, 2003)

My wife and I don't own a house yet, but we relocated for her chaplain residency program to the area between Lawrence, Kansas and the Kansas side of the Kansas City metro area. She lived quite a while in this area, particularly in Lawrence where she has roots with family and friends in the area. I had to pick up and relocated to a place where everything was strange and is still a bit.

Sometimes it feels all uncertain because I haven't found a permanent full time job, though I continue in a descent job through a temporary job agency working as a technology/reporting/design technician at the University of Kansas.

What I'm leading up to is that while I have friends and family about 3 hours away in Missouri and some relatives in the KC metro area and near Wichita, Kansas, I don't have local roots here yet. However, what I do have is my wife and her roots to build upon. Right now a friend and her husband are two people with whom I would throw in with in an emergency and perhaps even with their friends and family members if needed.

I have also taken note of resources, suppliers and more where we are as well as geographic and agricultural benefits of various areas in the region.

I am still feeling unbalanced and uncertain, though with my wife we are making the best of the situation. We hope to move closer to Lawrence soon so that we could be closer to her relatives and friends. Right now we are about 30 minutes away from Lawrence.

In these times we are likely better off being renters and thus more mobile. I wouldn't want to try to sell a home like my wife's mother is trying to do. Her house is the most shown in Lawrence because of its prime location, size and price as well as basic amenities yet no one is buying it. Trying to find work here is also rough even after several months of search.

My advice is perhaps it would be better to make the best of where you are right now since you have an affordable (relatively) mortgage and your husband has a descent job. Find comfort in learning about the resources and supplies in your area and figure out ways to make due. Perhaps you could build a greenhouse or cold frame and a bucket garden to grow some food?

In any case, right now is a time to be conservative with changes if they involve selling real estate or jobs.


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## RichieC (Aug 29, 2007)

Maybe I'm missing it, but why not wait until the house in ID sells before moving? Taking equity out very, very seriously limits your flexibility. You could easily end up upside-down on your mortgage and be unable to leave.


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## AngieM2 (May 10, 2002)

RichieC said:


> Maybe I'm missing it, but why not wait until the house in ID sells before moving? Taking equity out very, very seriously limits your flexibility. You could easily end up upside-down on your mortgage and be unable to leave.


I was just thinking the same thing. Sell first, then purchase new to you.

Angie


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## Common Tator (Feb 19, 2008)

We have a house in the burbs or Orange County we want to sell, but we aren't desparate. Right now prices are way down, forclosures are way up and sales are stagnant. I am actually leaning toward renting it out until the market improves. I could rent it for a lot more than our mortgage, because we have a nice fixed mortgage. All of the folks who are losing their homes will need a place to live, and most are losing because their variable rate mortgages have monthly payments that are much higher than the rent on our house.

Mamahen, please tell me you didn't buy the place in Kentucky with the restrictive covenants that wouldn't allow you to have animals!


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## SquashNut (Sep 25, 2005)

My brother put his house on the market a year ago and he has had one offer that he refused. He still owns the place.
Dh has wanted to move out of this place in town that we payed cash for and get a place in the country for quite awhile.
But we have never had any loans on any thing to speak of. To do this we would use all our savings. And end up with a morgage.
I'd have to start my garden over and leave my green house. Not some thing I want to do.
Maybe you could put in a nice green house, with passive solar heat you could do alot better with your gardening that way.


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## Calico Katie (Sep 12, 2003)

themamahen said:


> .... I am scared to move. need advice please. TIA


You've had good advice from others here. What I read was that you don't like Idaho and you don't like Kentucky. Does it just seem like it would be easier to go back there because it's familiar? 

Is there a place that your husband would like to move to? Ask him where it would be easiest for him to get another job, narrow it down to two or three locations then research those areas. Keep your house on the market while you're doing this and if you sell it before you know where you want to move, you can always rent while you finalize your plans. 

My advice would be not to move anywhere until your house is sold - and definitely don't move to Kentucky. Unless you're addicted to stress. :shrug:


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## SquashNut (Sep 25, 2005)

You may not have 2 morgages if the place in Idaho doesn't sell but you will have taxes and upkeep on both places.


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## MisFitFarm (Dec 31, 2007)

But haven't you already agreed to buy the place in Kentucky? Have you signed anything? I think you should go back to the place that you were/are buying in Kentucky and see if it affects you the same way it did when you were there before. That will be your answer.


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## themamahen (Jun 26, 2005)

> Does it just seem like it would be easier to go back there because it's familiar?


My sister is there and my 2 nephews who i call my boys i 1/2 raised them and miss the 3 of them terribly if not for them I would not go back I call my sister everyday with a phone bill to prove it LOL. 



> Maybe you could put in a nice green house, with passive solar heat you could do alot better with your gardening that way.


I added a greenhouse and coldframe this year. Cold snap hitting usnow 27 on thurs. 



> Mamahen, please tell me you didn't buy the place in Kentucky with the restrictive covenants that wouldn't allow you to have animals!


:hobbyhors HA! I told the seller there was NO way i was moving to a farm that did not allow animals so he amended the CA to say ALL ANIMALS allowed except Pigs.


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## Common Tator (Feb 19, 2008)

"HA! I told the seller there was NO way i was moving to a farm that did not allow animals so he amended the CA to say ALL ANIMALS allowed except Pigs."

Good! You can still get pigs, and put them in clothes and tell him they are the in-laws!


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## themamahen (Jun 26, 2005)

> Maybe I'm missing it, but why not wait until the house in ID sells before moving? Taking equity out very, very seriously limits your flexibility. You could easily end up upside-down on your mortgage and be unable to leave.



I am not upside down and I have the cash in my savings to buy what i want~

That's not the point, the point is Do I take this HUGE leap to uproot my family to move back to a place that while is closer to family does have a higher crime rate. LOL any crime rate would be higher than here 
Gardening every year, I try and every year i am disapponted. I did SEE it SNOW in July here ~ I thought they were making it up but Nope it did. It's awful. Alas ky is very hot and humid.



> forclosures are way up and sales are stagnant.


that's what's scaring me among the unemployment rate going up ..sighs....

The land that i am looking at is very pretty and has 90% of what i want it's a little more than i wanted to spend. and it's 13 miles from town out in the country so that's nice. but how nice is it gonna be when DH cant find a job cause of unemployment. 

Feed costs are enormous just posted about that. at 9.00 cheapest for chicken scratch and 9.00 for a bale of hay there is NO way i can afford animals w/o growing the food, and i can't grow it here. 

I cant grow any heirloom veggies and be able to save the seed the growing season is not long enough and then there is frost whenever it wants to it's just horrible. And I did have winter blues so bad this year. at least the sun is shining now. 



> You really need to shut off the nightly news and preparedness forum for awhile


I quit watching the news 10 YEARS ago  if something important happens somebody calls me or tells me like 911 DH called me so i watched the towers fall. It's Not like I am obsessing tshtf but I think before I purchase anywhere that it should be in the back of my mind where I would feel safe. thanks all for the replies so much to think about has me terribly stressed, Glad i could get outside today. Gardening is my self therepy. Nothing like getting dirty LOL


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## texican (Oct 4, 2003)

From a purely shtf survival point of view, Idaho beats KY or TN. 

If your missing family, bring them out to you...


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## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

same here, Idaho cold looks a lot better than KY humidity and crime, to me. You've got a gem of a husband willing to leave a job and relocate without having a new job lines up in the current economy! Eliot Coleman's book on four season growing is real good(he's in Maine). 

I'll just be frank and say leaving a steady job because you don't like the cold(that seems to be the only drawback to ID) seems, um, not the best choice. Have you tried those happpy lights? Maybe if you didn't call your sister so much you could afford feed? Chickens are good scroungers...


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## mnn2501 (Apr 2, 2008)

themamahen said:


> SO STRESSED cant sleep!!!!


Read this line you posted - it gives you your answer, if the move was a good thing you would not be stressed.
Leave security, and a good job for pipe dreams -- not for me


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## Farmerwilly2 (Oct 14, 2006)

I agree, stay away from KY. You'll get hay fever and your feet will start to smell. How about Arkansas or Oregon? Either one of them would be better than KY. Ever heard of hillbillies? They grow in KY.


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## MisFitFarm (Dec 31, 2007)

Yeah, and they happen to be very proud of their homesteads, and are really tired of people talking trash about Ky! If you don't like the State, fine, don't move here. But I'm not trashing where you choose to live, so kindly don't trash my home place.


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## Blu3duk (Jun 2, 2002)

DAng as a native Idahoan I like what you say on one hand about the climate here, mostly cause it willscare the dickens out of people tinking Idahomight be a place to move to, but on the other hand, weve had green grass for over 6 weeks up North here, and ive had to mow the lawn for the past 4, we already surpassed the 80 degree mark once a week or so back [freak for here even] but we are right on track for the normal temps [and yes up north a mite farther from where i was hatched near the border they are just now catching up] and yes we had snow on the ground a couple weeks ago about the same time as the 80 degree weather.....

The greenhouse and cold fram opton for most of idaho is the only way to assure a decent time line for the longer growing crops, sad but truthful, the fact that you spouse has a $50K per year job is above average for the state, in fact for the county where i live the average wage is just over $20K if you dont count all the retired folks on SS, and the disabled folks on SSI when that is factored in it goes way down below poverty [and people wonder why we have crime in Idaho like meth labs] 

Now for the good news, Kentucky is a place where a person can get to the right area and get a easy $20-30 per hour job as long as they know something about being a Groom in the race horse industry, and speaking of such, I understand that there is ONLY 2 seasons in KY, racing season and the off racing season. It takes specific knowledge and they have all kinds of young kids willing to take minimum wage to give a horse a bath..... and they dont really advertise the jobs that are needing filled.... I know about them cause a friend was just back there looking after his horses he bought into last fall again at the Keensland sale.

life is short, dont let things bother you, if you can change it and make you feel better doit, if you cannot change it immediately then take a deep breath and change the things you can, stess leads to many problems, been there and am dealing with the aftermath.... being frustrated over the weather seems like nothing to most of us, and is probably not what is bothering you deep inside...... but it gets the attention cause it is tangible.

The folks like me who responded sincerely care about things, about others who are having problems, but the one thing we CANNOT do is take your life under control nor can we give you totally sound advice as what to do, we can suggest, and say things that we think we would do in your situation, but no one is there in your moccasins, wlking your path that Almighty god has chosen to put before you..... you have to listen to yourself, your family, both close and extended, and go from there.

Moving no matter who you are or where you are is no easy task, and is never without stress, being away from family is not easy either, When i moved here 19 years ago from up in North Idaho, my family thought i was nuts, Im still here and still go back once every few years to visit, they want me back, but i kind of like it here, with all my new friends and family around these parts, even though I get stressed over the little things like dollars and cents once in awhile and my wife goes over the edge on me every now and again about not enough going around...... soon that too will change.....

William
Clearwater valley Idaho


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## AngieM2 (May 10, 2002)

Farmerwilly2 said:


> I agree, stay away from KY. You'll get hay fever and your feet will start to smell. How about Arkansas or Oregon? Either one of them would be better than KY. Ever heard of hillbillies? They grow in KY.





MisFitFarm said:


> Yeah, and they happen to be very proud of their homesteads, and are really tired of people talking trash about Ky! If you don't like the State, fine, don't move here. But I'm not trashing where you choose to live, so kindly don't trash my home place.


MisFitFarm - Farmerwilly was trying to keep your beautiful state to the ones already there. 

I've seen others use the same method elsewhere at HT and for this and other states.

Angie


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## MisFitFarm (Dec 31, 2007)

Thanks Angie, I understood FarmerWilly's remarks. It wasn't his comment that I took exception to. And, I must admit that my blood pressure is up and I'm not having a good day at all, so I'm a "bit" touchy right now.


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## AngieM2 (May 10, 2002)

Very cool - we all have days like that. But the rolling hills of Ky and the white fences are something to dream about.

Angie


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## MisFitFarm (Dec 31, 2007)

AngieM2 said:


> Very cool - we all have days like that. But the rolling hills of Ky and the white fences are something to dream about.
> 
> Angie



Well, I don't have white fences, but I certainly have the rolling hills, and I love every one of them! Feel free to visit any time!


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## Mostie (Mar 20, 2008)

That's a scary bit of business that you're planning on doing, there- however, I can't say a word, because we're pretty much doing the same thing- only difference is, we rent- we don't have a house to sell, so...

However...there is one thing I can say; anything new, anything 'unknown' is frightening- to do what you're planning on doing is scary, to say the least- with that, I totally and completely agree- the alternative would be waiting until everything is in perfect order, and secure, before you actually do anything at all- however, the downside to that, is 'perfect order' may, or may not happen. Things seldom turn out the way they do when we put it on paper- so the choices you have, would be to...stay where you are, and a few years down the road, be where you are now, or....take a chance and jump- but at the same time, when you jump? You're risking things- are you willing to take that chance, knowing that you might fall?

At this point in our lives (we're in our mid-forties, and yes- it could very well be mid-life crisis, lol) we're tired of the rat race, the huge rent, the huge water/electric/especially gas bill- the huge commute to our jobs, the 'go-go-GO'- we're tired, period. And we're willing to give it a shot, and take that leap into the unknown- it's frightening as all get-out, but nothing ventured, nothing gained- life is full of lessons- and the one lesson I keep coming back to over and over again, is you never know until you try- !


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## fretti (Jun 30, 2007)

themamahen said:


> ...I HATE THE WEATHER I HATE THE SNOW!!! it's snows here until the end of flipping may!
> 
> I was not born here I was born in KY where we have 4 seasons, in idaho you have 2 summer and winter..


Have you considered the Willamette Valley in Oregon? No, you wouldn't have your family but the economy is still good, home values haven't dropped much, you can garden 4 seasons but you still have cool weather, it rarely snows, there are lots of jobs in Salem and Portland, and it's not conservative.

Why don't you take a drive down here and check it out. It's about an 8 hour drive and might give you the environment you want.

ETA: Scratch that idea. It's quite possible that our "dreary" winter weather would trigger or agravate SAD.


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## awayfrmitall (Apr 7, 2008)

I just thought I would pass on a piece of wisdom my dad gave me recently.

I have owned 5+ acres in North Idaho for 12 years but I live in Western Washington. I have now decided that this is the year to make my move towards where I have been hoping to be.

My dad's advise... rent for one year (or so.. he wants me to get through winter) to make sure my dream of "country life" matches reality. If it matches I'll be breaking ground on building my house next spring sometime.. if not I'll be moving home. 

I know you said you were from where you want to go back to but you haven't been there (living there) for 10 years. Might I suggest that you rent for a while when you get there so you are really sure that your dream of being "home" again matches what you remember? I lived away from my home in Western Washington for just 4 years when I was younger and it was a big shocker to me when I moved back "home". Things were familiar but very different all at the same time.

Good luck with whatever you choose... I too suffer from S.A.D but it is harder here with the rain... the snow actually tends to make things brighter and more reflective so my SAD gets better when there is snow on the ground (which we don't get very much of here.)... Sorry to be so long winded.. 

Will be wishing you peace with what you decide...
~Jamie


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## themamahen (Jun 26, 2005)

Thank you Blu for such a nice response. 

S.A.D. had to look that up hmmm probably had it BUT I STILL HATE THE SNOW wouldnt care if I ever saw it again EVER dont like it 1 day christmas *maybe.* then needs to go away. 

I still want to move But I think NOW is a bad time I really want that property, and I think being 13 miles out of town would be ok BUT~ with hubby's job and the economy real estate being down I cant justify moving, yet. But I realllllyyyyyyyy do NOT like it here too far from my family too cold snow exc. I have been here unhappily for years and I am crying writing this Now I feel STUCK and can't leave.


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## lorian (Sep 4, 2005)

Don't do anything till you have a peace about it in your heart. Okay to feel nervous, but you still need to feel "sure" you are doing the best thing.
JMHO but I believe that the right thing to do is always revealed at the right time by providence.


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## anniew (Dec 12, 2002)

Please consider what is best for your husband and kids, not just yourself. Sometimes you have to consider the larger picture.

Also, consider if you wouldn't feel safe in that section of KY, what would happen if your husband could only get a job where he had to live away for the week. You'd be alone to fend for yourself...that may NOT be a better route than staying where you are.


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## MisFitFarm (Dec 31, 2007)

You've received a lot of good advice, and valid opinions. You, AND your family, are the only ones who can make the final decision. I still say that you need to go back to that farm in Kentucky, the WHOLE family, and look at it and make a decision TOGETHER. You were happy when you made the commitment to buy it, something must have triggered that. Now go there as a family, and see where that leads you. Best of luck!


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## themamahen (Jun 26, 2005)

ty for all your posts Misfit.

I have been considdering what is best for my family not just ME ME ME. I have been in idaho because my DH likes it here. I wanted to leave 8 years ago and he wanted to stay so i did. 

Just imagine if you will, someone picks you up and drops you off in a completely different area of the united states weather it be desert or alaska if it is Completely OPPOSITE of what you know you may not like it either. and it also has to be 1800 miles from ANY OF YOUR FAMILY. 

What was taken away from me hmmmm.... the air.. arid and dry no humidity, i had to sit in bathroom to breathe. The dirt, the climate, the people, even the animals everything is different out here some for the good and some for the bad. 

The way I WANT to live goes against staying In Idaho. 

the economics of it all jobs, schools, selling house is what is bothering me.


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## AngieM2 (May 10, 2002)

Trade with RamblinRoseRanch who wants to go to a dry climate from TN wet climate. It's at least closer.

Angie


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## Janine (Apr 14, 2008)

As a Realtor in Georgia, I know that different parts of the country are experiencing different housing markets. The Atlanta area is actually better than most. HOWEVER, the word on the (Real Estate) street is *if you don't have to sell now, DON'T! * Housing inventory in a decent market is 6 months. Right now we are running about 12 to 15 months.

If you must sell, I suggest you do not buy or move until your house sells. Many many homes are listed for sale, only for the listing to expire 6 months down the road, and then it is listed again for another 6 months. It could take a year or more to sell, unless you are pricing it really, really low.

Good Luck!


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## MisFitFarm (Dec 31, 2007)

themamahen said:


> ty for all your posts Misfit.
> 
> I have been considdering what is best for my family not just ME ME ME. I have been in idaho because my DH likes it here. I wanted to leave 8 years ago and he wanted to stay so i did.
> 
> ...


Please don't think that I'm implying that you are only looking out for yourself! But in response to other posts insisting that you shouldn't make your husband leave a good job to make you happy, I just had to post that maybe you should take the whole family back to the farm that you fell in love with, and talk about all the issues involved. Personally, I say get out of there! But it's not me that has to make the decision. I just know from reading your threads and posts about how unhappy you are there that you have to do something. The stress is not good for you, or for your marriage. Can your husband start looking for a job now? And have you already sign the contract on the new property?


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## Mid Tn Mama (May 11, 2002)

Having read your further reasons, I think you certainly have valid reasons for moving. You just need to find the right time to do it. It took ten years for the situation to be right and for one of us to find a job to move. I hope it doesn't take that long for you, but at least you won't move and have a miserable time because of financial worries. It's hard to sell a home. I'd do things in this order:

DH finds a job
You put your home on the market while DH goes to new job.
Do not purchase a new home (esp on equity) until the old home is sold.


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## turtlehead (Jul 22, 2005)

I know when we left Atlanta and moved to WV, our stressful nights were *before* we made the decision, when we were still weighing the pros and cons and getting used to the idea. After the decision was made, we were soooo excited we could barely stand it. So I think your stress indicates that this move at this time is not right for you.

On the other hand, you are clearly very unhappy where you are. I think maybe it is just the timing. 

Maybe you could do things more like this:
List your house and get it on the market.
DH looks for a job and finds one in an area you'd like to live in - longer growing season, closer to family, low crime.
DH moves to where the job is, and you either move with him and leave the house on the market, or rent it out, or you stay in the house until it sells.

I think you could find a place that better fits your priorities (low crime), and I think you'll feel better having the house on the market or rented, and a new job for DH to go to.


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## crafty2002 (Aug 23, 2006)

themamahen said:


> {{{{I took the cash out of my home equity to secure a second place if tshtf.}}}
> 
> Did we ask dear hubby before taking the cash out to pursue this move?????
> 
> ...


If hubby isn't in for the ride and you push him into it, your family is going to fall apart. You can believe that or leave it alone but it's a fact. Things like this bust up more families than anything. 
My advice is to hunker down and learn to love what you have now, because the other side of the hill is not alway greener. 
JMHO.
Dennis

ETA:: I don't know how to seperate things on a site. I thought I might get it done this way but it failed as usual. 
Most of my answers are in the original post now between each of the statements you made. :shrug:


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## themamahen (Jun 26, 2005)

> Did *we* ask dear hubby before taking the cash out to pursue this move????


Yes *WE* did I am not stupid. he agreed and transferred loan into His name only we are a *FAMILY* not a dictatorship. 




> And if he is making 50 K a year, why did you need to take money from your home equity????? Something is amiss there.


well if you had read my Entire post you would have read that my mortgage is 800 a month 50k thats gross too take out taxes as well. Why should I pay that if I can sell the house make 60 to 100G to build my house with and be debt free ?? 

My dh is ex military he can get a job on post in ky starting at 38 per hour? but no senority. 



> I would like to sell what I have but the market tells me to hold on to what I have that is hard. I am getting offers for 1/2 of what the house and two acres is worth right now. Do you think I will take that and move???? I am stuck where I am at and have to do the best with what I have and try like hell to be happy with it. And I get happier everyday doing so.


well i dont live there and things are selling here.



> I don't know what the ground nor the weather is there. I do a little but not enough to comment on it other than the money you took out of the home could have bought some very nice green houses, maybe a wind mill and lights for it and in a controlled enviroment, you can get double, tripple, and even quadruple the veggies from a said area. You could grow year round if needed and have fresh food year round.


well I live in the burbs just under an acre, still wont get me closer to KY and i hate the snow and the weather ya know we got 14 FEET of snow in JAN alone!! you dont have to shovel the rain so i am sure you are not bothered with it. The heat to grow year round would cost me more to buy the produce when it is -30 it's hard to keep said greenhouse heated. DH cant eat lettuce or greens because of digestive issues. 

I like the responses from people who really care about the problem at hand not the responses where everyone flames you for something they might themselves not do. Empathy is a good thing maybe try to understand the problem.


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## AngieM2 (May 10, 2002)

Does anyone have a practical solution to help themamahen out?

Angie


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## MisFitFarm (Dec 31, 2007)

Yes, I think she should disregard every hateful or condescending post, and listen to her heart and her family. Life is too short to be miserable. Email me when you get a chance! Have a great evening!


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## themamahen (Jun 26, 2005)

MisFitFarm said:


> Yes, I think she should disregard every hateful or condescending post,



:buds:


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