# Help teaching the alphabet



## used2bcool13 (Sep 24, 2007)

My ddil has been trying to interest my almost 3 year old gdtr in learning the alphabet with no luck. My dgdtr has, of course, a pretty short attention span and isn't really interested.

Has anyone faced this before? Did you find any helpful things /toys/dvds/workbooks/whatever to encourage learning at a 3 year old level? 

Unfortunately we live on different coasts, over 3000 miles away so I am not much assistance.

Thanks


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## Mid Tn Mama (May 11, 2002)

Sing the alphabet song.

Start with the letters in her name.

Give her a set of alphabet/number placemats. These can be used for "eye spy" games.

Play "eye spy games wherever you are, in the car, in the store....

Make pancakes in the form of letters.

Cut out fat alphabet letters out of opened up cereal boxes and let her color them in.

Magnetic alpha letters for the frig.

A metal tray with magnetic alpha letters for riding in the car.

Three is a bit young to know the entire alphabet, but you can certainly start here.

Read daily pointing to the words as you read as this teaches children the very important skill of moving eyes from left to right and up to down.


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## Pamama (Oct 29, 2010)

Play dough, alphabet letters, alphabet blocks, write letter in sand, dirt, dust. Write letters on a foggy window or mirror. Dry erase markers on anything they will wipe off of (be creative). Write letters in shaving cream, peanut butter, whipped cream, pudding. Make jello letters. Make letter cookies, biscuits, sandwiches, pancakes ect. Write letters in snow. Pick one letter a day (or week) and get child to find as many of that letter as she can. Glue macaroni or other noodles to a paper in the shape of letters. Write letters in white glue on white paper and let child sprinkle glitter on them. Cut letters out of paper or cloth and give them to the child to play with. Write a message in her mashed potatoes....the possibilities are endless lol


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## ovsfarm (Jan 14, 2003)

Three is so very young. Why the rush? There are very few good books written on a 3yo's mental level that include words--most for that set are picture books or those intended to be read aloud by a more advanced reader.

I have an only child. We live at the end of a dead-end, rural road. When she was little I fell into the trap of rushing things a bit with her and I can honestly say that there has been NO benefit to doing such a thing. Actually, even though she was advanced academically, due to her normal maturity level, many things were much harder than they needed to be for her because of this. For example, although she could read well, she couldn't write well because her fine motor skills were still dictated by her 4yo fingers. Therefore, we got out of sync on many language arts skills because of the disparity.

All the experts I have ever heard say that it is much more important to inundate little ones with interactions, relationships, and exploration rather than academics. Especially those on the printed page. The Waldorf System (similar to Montessori) cautions against working with printed writing until much later - 7 or 8 years of age - and some even say that making kids read printed material too early will cause them to have eye problems and need visual correction/glasses.

So why the hurry? I would only allow a younger child to pursue reading IF the child was begging to learn it. I would certainly never push it on a child who didn't have the attention span, maturity, or interest.

Another realization I had with my accelerated dd was, why was I pushing her? I certainly didn't plan to send her on to college as a 15yo or whatever if we could graduate her early. So in addition to potentially making her K-12 academic life more difficult due to maturity issues, there was no viable reward at the end of the tunnel. 

Don't get caught up in the trap that early academic success equates to being smarter or having a higher IQ or anything. It certainly doesn't. And it isn't worth screwing up a kid's academic future for bragging rights to claim that little Susie is only 4 but just finished reading War and Peace. She might be able to read it, but won't understand any of it. Focus on watching butterflies for now. There's plenty of time later on to hit the books.


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## Sonshine (Jul 27, 2007)

What I did with my son was take a letter each week and highlight it. We lived in Florida at the time and had season's passes for the amusement parks. The letter 
"A" we studied ants, made apple sauce etc. For the letter "C" we took a field trip to Universal studios and went to Seuss land where we rode the "Cat in the Hat" ride. "D" we went to Krispy Kreme doughnuts and watched the doughnuts being made. In other words, make it fun. After all, they're still young.


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## romysbaskets (Aug 29, 2009)

I can't resist relaying this one on. I homeschooled all four of my children, in various stages, all unique. Our boys are getting more of this than their sisters did out on the island. They only attended school a couple years before being homeschooled. 

Now to the alphabet. I taught my 1 1/2 yr old Grandson his alphabet like this...first my younger son began getting him to recite it til they got half way. Then one day I just looked at my little grandson and began the three repeat version which he absolutely loved. Then he began repeating it and would tell me the next letter! Here is how I did this, I would do it SING SONG STYLE. I softly said A in one tone and go up a tone and then down the third tone. AaA and so on for the rest of the alphabet. We do sing the alphabet song to him but he loves my musical version best. It is so cute how he repeats each tone up, down, up for each letter. If you stop he continues. As for writing the alphabet...my one son learned to read at 3 yrs old....I do not take credit there. I read him the Doctor Seuss alphabet book in yes...a sing song voice. He was writing his own name in the sand at three and could count into the thousands. I was trying to help our trouble sleeper guy at night by teaching him to count til he was tired. Soon he was counting into the thousands just to go to sleep...then there were the night night rides..hubby drove him. Sometimes by accident we find what will work with a child. Music is a great inspiration for young children...they really embrace it. This son who was given my wooden spoons and stainless steel pans and taught in a sing song voice is now a performing musician...one never knows...what can come from a sing song silly way of teaching.....


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## akhomesteader (Jan 5, 2006)

I have two sons who are total opposites. One is very advanced. I kept magnetic alphabet leters for them to play with on the file cabinet. We also read to the boys all the time. One of my sons just began picking out books he liked and started reading as much as he could, just because he wanted to. When he was nearly 5, I used Teach Your Child To Read in 100 easy lessons with him because he was reading anyway, but this helped him figure things out on his own better. Sometimes he didn't want to do the lessons, so we didn't. We'd only do it when he wanted to. He has sort of a double vision problem, and the eye doctor was fine with him reading about 5 to 10 minutes a day, but he definitely thought that making children read before about age 6 or 7 for more than 10 to 15 minutes contributes to many vision problems. My son's problems were there before and unrelated. 

My other son is 6 1/2 and still does not know all the letters of the alphabet, nor does he care at all. I'm not worried. His focus in life is totally different, and he will get it when he gets it. I still have the magnetic letters, and some other alphabet toys around for him when he wants them. I still read to him all the time. When he wants to practice writing letters while his brother is doing copywork (I use a Charlotte Mason approach), I help him with it. Some days I get out a pan with some cornmeal for them to write letters, or just play. There were lots of great suggestions for teaching children letters and early reading. But, as ovsfarm said, what's the hurry. 

Even with my advanced son, I was very tempted to "gently" push him along faster so he'd be more advanced. But then I really got to thinking about things, just like ovsfarm. I have no intention of sending him off to college at 15 or 16. I am not harming him by letting him be a kid and spending lots of time outside playing, and lots of time in my lap while I read. But, pushing him, even "gently" in a fun way is still pushing, and it can certainly cause harm. Many children just don't enjoy learning when they are pushed too young. Yes, they need to develop self-discipline and learn to sit still and do the work, even when they don't want to. But there's plenty of time for that. 

My youngest son's speech therapist told me that she has seen many, many children, especially boys, who are 8 or 9 years old, and who barely know the alphabet or who are reading on a first grade level. Then suddenly, when they are ready, they "get it". Suddenly they are right on their grade level. For some children this doesn't happen until their 12 years old or later. But, there is no hurry. I have a little of the same issue with my advanced son. He's a bit behind with fine motor skills. If I'd had him reading at age 2 or 3, as I'm sure I could have, there would have been a huge gap in his reading and his writing ability. Now, his reading is still beyone his ability to write, but not too much. Mostly I do lots of arts and crafts activities with him to help his fine motor skills. It has worked wonders for both my sons. Much better than constant writing practice. 

So, that was a long way of saying that there are some great ideas above, and it's great to read to children, let them play with letters, sing the alphabet song to them, and all the other idea. But, it's most important to realize that each child is different, and each child will learn when they are ready, regardless of their age. There is absolutely no hurry at all. If you push children before they are ready, then they will begin to hate learning. If you let them go at their own pace, they will love it, and before you know it will be teaching themselves.


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## Windy in Kansas (Jun 16, 2002)

I think both of my grandsons knew the alphabet by age 1 1/2 to 2 years of age. They both used a refrigerator magnet set along with a learning toy that sang the alphabet song.

The fridge magnets can be a pain as they are often knocked off and under foot, but they spend time with parents in the kitchen while cooking is being done, dishes done, etc. 

They both like the Leap Frog Alphabet Factory movie and have really learned from it as well. It teaches the sound of the letters as well and not just the letters.

Both are read to every day and earlier we used to point to each word so that they would get the association of speech and written word. 

The three year old can read a few words while the 6 year old was tested via a standardized reading skills test about a month ago and was found to be reading at a 3 grade 4th month level. He is just now in kindergarten. 

I personally think kids ages 3-6 are like a sponge for learning and are receptive and eager to learn if given the chance. And I think reading skills are the foundation for enjoyment of education as the work is easier if you read and comprehend well.

Do whatever it takes to get those kids or that 3 year old on the path to learning and reading post haste.


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## Windy in Kansas (Jun 16, 2002)

ovsfarm I read your post after making mine. Gotta say I disagree with the experts about reading, etc. 

I'd agree about comprehending what is read. The 6 year old reads at 3 grade 4th month, but comprehends slightly less, 3 grade 4th month. Can't remember the acronym of the test given that determined that.

Yes they need to learn about nature and spend lots of quality time with family, etc. I think everything we say and do is a form of teaching. No reason play can't be learning. Each morning while visiting I used to always the younger grandsons toes and fingers to help teach him to count forward and backwards. I'd skip around to show there was no certain order, and that the numbers continued by using my digits as well as those of his brother, etc.

Both do simple addition and subtraction via cash register games, piggy bank games, etc. Learning while having fun doing so and they don't even know it. Slice up an apple and again numbers.

To toddlers there is education value in almost everything we do. I'm really surprised your daughter didn't seem to benefit from the early education you gave her but of course we do all march to the beat of a different drummer. You did your best just as you should have.


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## donewithcity (Sep 9, 2010)

By age three or four (as I have been told) I wanted to know what every sign and book said. So well before beginning public school my family began to teach me to read.
I learned to read at a very young age on my grandfathers lap every chance he got. We would take a picture/word book and I had to read it to him. Of course he had to help allot, as my parents did at other times. The upshot is by the first grade I was reading at the fifth grade level. I think the important part was the personal attention, and not relying on gimmicks or TV or whatever. Remember this was the early sixties, before sesame street!


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## Beaners (Feb 23, 2005)

I have a 3 year old who absolutely loves things like her letters...on her own terms. If I ever try to push something when she isn't interested, she will completely refuse. (Here honey, why don't you play with your alphabet magnets for five minutes so that I can make a real dinner instead of PBJ? No thank you. She just isn't interested then.) Her reading vocabulary astonishes me, without me pushing her to read, but it is at her own pace.

She has to be interested. I know that some preschools require a child to know their alphabet and numbers before attending. That's a little extreme in my opinion, but I understand that parents do feel some pressure to have a child that performs on a particular level. Instead of trying to force the child when she isn't interested, capitalize on the moments when she is curious. We had a couple months where we spent about half an hour at a time with me naming things that start with a certain letter. "What starts with the letter C mama? Cat and circus both start with the letter C. C is a neat letter because it makes different sounds. Sometimes it makes the kuh sounds, and sometimes it makes the sss sound." 

These are the things that we do, that I think have helped my three year old and her younger sister enjoy learning letter sounds and names.

We have an alphabet line along the ceiling in her bedroom. It's been there for a year or so. She loves having her daddy sing her the ABCs or singing "A is for apple, B is for ball" down the line right before bedtime. Anything to put off bedtime for 1 more minute, right?

We read a lot. I talk a lot about how wonderful it is to be able to read things. Our children see us reading the newspaper, magazines, books, things on the internet, etc. Getting to play with the alphabet magnets or something similar is considered a big deal. It isn't drudgery that you will be forced to learn letters for the next 30 minutes. It's something that you will have permission to do as a reward once you finish putting away your toys. (Except when I want to get something done, in which case all these wonderful plans fall apart. It comes with the territory, right?)

We do starfall.com very rarely. I do like the program and the way it is set up, but I try to avoid relying on it too heavily. My 18 month old tries to spell things ("O, A, M, A, O, O") and sound them out from exposure while my three year old looks at the site. It's an occasional treat. I quit long before they eyes glaze over. Actually, I think quitting before the child gets bored is almost as important as only starting when the child is interested.

We don't watch TV, although we might watch an hour or two per week of kid's nature films or Winnie the Pooh. We really haven't done the Leapfrog or Baby Einstein stuff at all, but I know some parents swear by it.

If she isn't interested in her alphabet right now, what is she interested in? Numbers and counting? Animals? Blocks and building things? Weather? I bet there's something.  Don't forget to nurture that too. I think that there's a balance between waiting for a child to be mentally capable of certain tasks and waiting too long. I definitely don't think that 3 is too old to not have the alphabet memorized, but I also don't think it's too early either. 

This is a daughter-in-law too, so I'd avoid offering *too much* advice to her. I love my mother-in-law dearly, but there are times when I know she has the best of intentions but the results don't come off quite as well. If there's a chance that sending a boatload of games and educational DVDs will be taken the wrong way, I wouldn't do it.

Kayleigh


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## Cyngbaeld (May 20, 2004)

I say let the child go at her own pace. I didn't learn to read till I got to school at age 6. Caught on right away and had a rip snorting good time with it. Mom did read to us at home, but never tried to teach "reading". My dyslexic brother didn't learn to read well till he was an adult. No guarantees either way.


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## ovsfarm (Jan 14, 2003)

Windy in Kansas said:


> I'd agree about comprehending what is read. The 6 year old reads at 3 grade 4th month, but comprehends slightly less, 3 grade 4th month. Can't remember the acronym of the test given that determined that.
> 
> To toddlers there is education value in almost everything we do. I'm really surprised your daughter didn't seem to benefit from the early education you gave her but of course we do all march to the beat of a different drummer. You did your best just as you should have.


I wouldn't say she didn't benefit from the things we did, just not particularly from doing any of them early. I see no added benefit from doing the work as a young 3yo rather than a late 4yo.

The last year we did the ITBS test, she was in 2nd grade but scored as a freshman in high school for reading ability. However in no way did she have the maturity to understand the themes, conflicts, contrasts, etc. in what she was reading. I got really frustrated by the test then. I mean, I love my dd with all my heart, but she is not a genius, just a normal, bright, well-adjusted kid. And if what I consider normal, good reading skills for a 2nd grader qualifies as 9th grade level, then either that test is designed to blow wind up someone's skirts or else 9th graders are in a lot more trouble academically than I previously imagined.:hrm:

I just wanted to share my belief that all jumping the gun with her did was to cause various gaps between her academic skills and motor skills. In all honesty, if I had it to do over again, I would have waited on almost everything academic for at least a year. As it was, she was just a bit immature for most concepts and therefore had to work just that little bit harder than she would have otherwise. 

For example, she was advanced in math and had great computational ability. However, due to the shorter attention span of a younger child, I had to sit next to her the whole time and keep asking, "What should you do next?" to keep her on track. She always knew the answer, but just didn't have the mental maturity to complete whole pages of problems herself. And as a result, she considered math to be her most boring and least favorite subject. (We have since remedied the problem and as a 12yo, pre Algebra is one of her favorite subjects and she can zip right through it.)

I strongly believe school could have been a little more fun and relaxed for her if we had waited that one year before starting. No one cares at what age she learned how to read, no one cares how old she was when she first memorized the multiplication tables. But as her mother, I care that my choice resulted in making her life just a little harder than it had to be. I would choose otherwise if I knew then what I know now...

I think the main thing is to remember that each child is different and that comparison only causes discontentment. If a child is ready and curious and begging to be taught something, then by all means, teach the kid! But if a little one is reluctant and the material is being presented early, then perhaps the child would be better served by being permitted to be a child for a while longer, until they are ready to move forward into more academic pursuits. And as in my case, if the child is rather neutral - willing to do what you ask of her but not necessarily asking to be taught - then I recommend waiting until a more standard age to start with this type of child also.


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## garliclady (Aug 14, 2008)

Let her "play" on starfall.com Fun videos and songs of each letter/ sound!


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## used2bcool13 (Sep 24, 2007)

All of your advice and tips are very appreciated. The good thing about this dil is that she is open to anything, and she was actually the one who asked me if I could find something for my gdtr. 

I looked at that abc starfall website and that was adorable and very entertaining. I am passing that along to her. I think I will check and see if she has the abc refrigerator magnets also, she is a good little eater so that would be a highly visable area for her - lol.

I agree with the overall sentiment that it is never too early to learn and that you really can't make a 3 year old do anything that they don't want to.

On a side note, I was talking to ddil while she was checking her turkey today for "doneness". When she took the thermometer out of the turkeys leg, my dgdtr was, of course watching, (at a safe distance) she then said to her Mommy, ok, my turn. We both started laughing. I guess if it is something that interests the child, they will want to do it.


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## Shrarvrs88 (May 8, 2010)

I beleive in going with the windows of oppurtunity with kids. Language is from birth to four, and math from one to five. Obviously they learn after that, too, but these are sesitive periods. Did you know in Japan there was a study that showed babies who listened to an english tape for fifteen minutes a day during the first few months learned English in school easier and did better than children who didn't? It primes the brain to recognize the speech pattern. 

Not that I think pushing is a good thing, but I do think if you intigrate things into daily life it is easier on the kids, they learn without meaning to.


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