# I suck at gardening



## paradox (Nov 19, 2012)

Just wondering if I am alone here. All my life I have had horrible luck with plants. I have had friends recommend or give me plants that are "impossible to kill", yet I managed. I try to follow instructions, I try to do what others tell me, I read online blogs and instruction websites, but it never works out well for me. 

Animals, I can raise with no problem at all. I am GREAT with animals. But plants - forget it. My only hope at TEOTWAWKI is trading meat and eggs for veggies.

Anyone else here with the same affliction? I am feeling lonely seeing all the gardening posts...


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## simi-steading (Sep 27, 2012)

I never could keep house plants looking good, but I've not had too many problems with outdoor plants... I think it's more about how well you understand plants, or how well mother nature does.. When they are outside, I don't do a whole lot with them.. the more I do mess with things, the more I do kill...


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## Joel_BC (Nov 10, 2009)

Paradox, I've been food-gardening since I was a kid. I've known frustration and diappointment. I've had years where failures seemed to outweigh any success, and years (most of them now) where the harvests turned out great overall.

Rather than comisserate, I'm tempted to ask you about things like the basic soil type(s) in the garden plots you're working with, and your humidity & temperature, whether you've got good sun exposure (& lots of light during the day), whether you've tested samples of your soil to find if there are any notable basic deficiencies. Is irrigation ever a problem? And what practices have you tried for preparing and amending the soil in the spring and during the season?

Maybe you're by now tired of addressing these questions, and if so I apologize for posting them. But...


Simi-steading: Just thought I'd mention an indoor-plant approach that turned things around for me. It's based on a couple of considerations. One is that plants in compact containers not only need water and nutrients, they need air to get to the roots on a regular basis. Keep the plants in unglazed containers that allow excess moisture to be sweated out. My success increased greatly once I stopped using "good garden soil" and began to use this mixture: 40% coir (coconut-shell fiber), 40% ground bark, 20% perlite. To this I mix in just a little calcium carbonate powder (or gypsum) for calcium. Then - with well rooted young plants, and mature plants - I water no more frequently than a good soaking once every four days, and then allowing the soil to dry (and get the air down into it). I do outdoor and greenhouse gardening organically, but with house plants I use MiracleGro for nutrients.


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## simi-steading (Sep 27, 2012)

Interesting.. never thought about air to the roots.. I found a lot easier solution though.. I let me wife take care of the indoor plants.. she's really good with them.. .


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## paradox (Nov 19, 2012)

I appreciate the offer of help Joel. But I am talking a lifetime of poor luck with indoor and outdoor plants, living in several different places so all kinds of soils and lighting conditions, using both the native soil and attempting to use store bought soil. I wouldn't be able to narrow any of it down for you unless I was dealing with a specific problem right now. 

This post was just to see if there were others out there like me. I always start feeling a bit inept around springtime when everyone is posting about all their plants and gardens. I do always try to grow a little something, but usually it is just a big bust. Doesn't seem to matter what it is or how carefully I follow instructions. My Mom has the same problem. She lives in a little apartment we built her out back. One of us is always trying to grow something, we are persistent. We just don't have much luck. 

We are much much better at animals, which I guess is good because I prefer meat to veggies anyway. Though I do often long for pretty little lush green things and bright flowers in my yard just to make it look nice. I get a bit jealous at pics of lovely yards and gardens. I cope by spending time with all my animals and reminding myself that not everyone can have a yard full of natural enemies who manage to live in harmony.


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## where I want to (Oct 28, 2008)

My solution is to only have plants that survive my personal foibles. I tend to forget to water, so only the ones that can deal with that are here. But nature is wonderful for devising species to survive in all places. You just need to find the ones for your personal place.
Thyme thrives for me- basil not so much.


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## paradox (Nov 19, 2012)

WIWT - LOL - I did try that. I went through a spell where I thought maybe I am just over watering or over fertilizing or killing it with over attention. So I brought home a bunch of spineless cactus that my cousin up the road has all over her backyard. The leaves get knocked off by kids or dogs and grow new plants. They are everywhere and she never waters or does anything to them at all. I plopped it down in several spots around our place but it all shriveled.


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## wally (Oct 9, 2007)

paradox, if you would share your location, i will bet some one could "coach" you thru raising some veggies..


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## FarmChix (Mar 3, 2013)

Have you thought about taking the Master Gardening classes through your county extension office? Afterward, there is a little bit of volunteer work that you are committed to, but they are geared to your locale..... I almost got to take them a few years back, but alas, one of the ladies who worked for me ended up with shingles and I couldn't take the time off. I would definitely sign up if I had the time.


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## 7thswan (Nov 18, 2008)

I worked in a greenhouse long time ago,had to awnser questions, one of the major problems people had with indoor plants was overwatering. 
If you can ,built yourself some raised beds in the yard, fill them with good soil and compost. Stay away from any kind of artificial stuff. Compost is the key, put more on each year. You will get the hang of how much to water by looking at plants the same as you do looking at an animal and knowing they need something. It just takes time, and don't over baby them. You'll do fine, just don't give up.


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## doingitmyself (Jul 30, 2013)

I'm not a good gardener, but i read a lot and try to learn, but i enjoy it and it seems to reward me enough to keep me going. 

Computer and electronics absolutely hate me.  

Power tools and equipment like me, i never have trouble building, or fixing stuff. I think everyone has a knack for something.


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## paradox (Nov 19, 2012)

LOL - I was reading through the new responses when my coworker (who is a plant GENIUS) came in and started reading too. She said to tell all of you that you are very kind but that "I am truly cursed and beyond help from even the most skilled horticulturalist." She has given me lots of tips and help and plants over the years, none of which are still among the living.  I always tell her if I ever became independently wealthy I would double her salary and hire her to turn my yard into a beautiful flowering eden. She dared to put a plant on my desk, but I am not allowed to touch it - she tends to it.


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## Tricky Grama (Oct 7, 2006)

paradox said:


> LOL - I was reading through the new responses when my coworker (who is a plant GENIUS) came in and started reading too. She said to tell all of you that you are very kind but that "I am truly cursed and beyond help from even the most skilled horticulturalist." She has given me lots of tips and help and plants over the years, none of which are still among the living.  I always tell her if I ever became independently wealthy I would double her salary and hire her to turn my yard into a beautiful flowering eden. She dared to put a plant on my desk, but I am not allowed to touch it - she tends to it.


HA.

I'm w/ya Paradox, We can go sit in a courner & eat worms. 

Every yr I sow bunches of seeds in flats, baby them, bring 'em in when it gets too cold, drag 'em back & forth...I think my downfall is when I transpalnt...I just finished doing just that...lots of tiny flats into bigger holed flats...anyone wanna take bets?


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## Vash (Jan 19, 2014)

My wife says she has a black thumb when it comes to house plants. But we've had modest success with what gardening we've tried.

We're learning.


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## Paumon (Jul 12, 2007)

simi-steading said:


> Interesting.. never thought about *air to the roots.*. I found a lot easier solution though.. I let me wife take care of the indoor plants.. she's really good with them.. .


Throw some worms in the pots


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## Use Less (Nov 8, 2007)

I have a green thumb for outdoor gardening. I didn't know it till I retired from teaching and had adequate time - at the right time - to follow the directions on the seed packages  I also took to spending time in the garden just looking. Was that more green, less yellow yesterday? Look again tomorrow and then DO something, which often entailed calling the co-operative extension agent or master-gardener. Helpful to me is well-enriched soil, figuring out how much watering and when, plant food, pest & disease recognition and treatment.


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## Twobottom (Sep 29, 2013)

I don't believe in "luck", especially when it comes to gardening. The plants dont know who you are, and they are not refusing to grow for you. It is something very logical that you are doing/not doing. Its science, like math 1+2=3 there are no secret forces.

If you're soil is decent, if you are preparing your beds with good manure and organic matter, getting enough water and battling pests/disease/weeds then you will have success


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## PricklyThistle (Feb 6, 2014)

Try using your animal skills with plants. Sounds ridiculous maybe but if you think of these little green things as just another critter that needs what every critter does - (air, water, light, food) you'll start to "relate" to them differently, I think.

Just like a sick animal, plants show symptoms of what they are lacking or what needs fixing. It just takes time and research to get good at noticing those signs. Plants even thrive with a little personal attention, like animals. Don't feel stupid if you find yourself giving them pep talks.


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## Earthling (Mar 6, 2014)

Plants are very perceptive. They can look inside your soul and make an evaluation to see if you are worthy of them growing in your space. There's nothing you can do to change that. I'm not sure what criteria they are using as it seems to transcend all races and gender. At least that's how it is on the planet that I originally came from.


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## Terri (May 10, 2002)

Paradox, I have no natural talent with plants and so I started with growing grass, which is what my land wants to grow anyways. I do not mean that I tried to make the lawn look good: if I had been that ambitious I would have killed it! 

Instead I scattered just a LITTLE fertilizer, gave it an occasional watering when it was very dry, and darned if it did not get thicker and greener. It also had dandylions and clover in it but I liked that. For me, a GREENER lawn was what I was after! One with fewer bare spots.

After I was able to understand what the grass needed, my vegetable gardening got better. I still am not a really great vegetable gardener but 2/3 of what I plant will live, and I fill in the holes with plants and half of that will live also. 

I have learned that some things like okra will ONLY do well in hot years, and if the okra is doing well the corn will probably do badly. Some people will have good gardens regardless of the weather but I am not that good, yet.

I did learn, for a while, to set up jars when I sprinkle: when the jars have an average of an inch of water in them then it is time to shut the water off. Too little or too much water is hard on plants.

Now, I live in Kansas and this area really WANTS to grow grass, which did help because I was no good with plants when I started.


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## Ardie/WI (May 10, 2002)

If it makes you feel any better, I can't grow catnip! I've been gardening for 50 years and also have indoor plants, but no catnip.

I've tried to grow it outside and it'a pathetic. I've tried to start it in the house. It germinates, lifts it's tiny leaves up, looks at me and dies. I brought home plants of it. It takes one look at me and shrivels up in a day or two.


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## Ana Bluebird (Dec 8, 2002)

Probably a bad environment, maybe bad soil. Improve those, water some, and weed. That's all I do.


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## JJ Grandits (Nov 10, 2002)

I've been in the Nursery/ Landscape business since Nixon ran things and do pretty good at growing stuff. But you give me a houseplant and I am the kiss of death. My oldest daughter had "Black Thumb disease". In grade school all she had to do was grow a bean in a paper cup. She used our greenhouse. We had 11,000 started plants and one paper cup without a bean. That was years ago. Now she runs a beautiful vegetable garden. Bottom line is don't give up. A green thumb is not magical. It just means your thumb is stained green because you spend so much time in the garden. Actually its not green. The side of your thumb and index finger develope a good size callus that gets all stained up. The wedding pictures showing my hand and my wifes hand with our new wedding rings look like we just got done changing a tire.


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## CountryWannabe (May 31, 2004)

There are only a few people who have a truly magic touch in the garden. The rest of us just persevere. Sometimes we try too hard, sometimes not hard enough. My garden grows the things that work with my style of gardening. I am good at the "regular" stuff - watering, feeding and such. I am good at "benign neglect". So things that will grow without me hovering over them 24/7 do OK. Anything fussy is a dead loss. Over the years I have learned what I can cope with and what I can't. I bet you will, too. Don't give up.

Mary


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## willow_girl (Dec 7, 2002)

> Plants are very perceptive. They can look inside your soul and make an evaluation to see if you are worthy of them growing in your space.


Apparently the weeds have decided I'm OK. ound:


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## Tricky Grama (Oct 7, 2006)

Twobottom said:


> I don't believe in "luck", especially when it comes to gardening. The plants dont know who you are, and they are not refusing to grow for you. It is something very logical that you are doing/not doing. Its science, like math 1+2=3 there are no secret forces.
> 
> If you're soil is decent, if you are preparing your beds with good manure and organic matter, getting enough water and battling pests/disease/weeds then you will have success


 Now see-I just don't believe this at all.

I swear, those plants CRINGE when they see me comin'!


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## Belldandy (Feb 16, 2014)

paradox said:


> Just wondering if I am alone here. All my life I have had horrible luck with plants. I have had friends recommend or give me plants that are "impossible to kill", yet I managed. I try to follow instructions, I try to do what others tell me, I read online blogs and instruction websites, but it never works out well for me.
> 
> Animals, I can raise with no problem at all. I am GREAT with animals. But plants - forget it. My only hope at TEOTWAWKI is trading meat and eggs for veggies.
> 
> Anyone else here with the same affliction? I am feeling lonely seeing all the gardening posts...


Yeah.

DH can grow anything. Same soil, same conditions, same house! 

Not me.

The African Violet someone gave us refuses to die, though I'm trying, lol. Must be it catches sight of DH as he walks by.


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## sweetbabyjane (Oct 21, 2002)

Ok, assuming you water, fertilize, whatever--take good care of the plants, and they still die no matter where you live or what you do, you might ask yourself, what is the common denominator?

You. (Of course, you already knew that, but think of it in a deeper way.)

This may sound silly, but is it something in you? The oil on your hands? Some chemical in your body? 

I had heard that menstruating women should not handle plants. I can usually grow almost anything so I thought that was absurd, until I planted four Bougainvillea plants. Two I planted during "that" time, and two I planted a little later. Guess which two died and which two lived? Same location, same care. Now, that's never happened to me either before or after, but the point is, maybe there is something in you that plants cannot handle.

Do you take medication? Eat an unusual diet? You know how you can tell certain people by their smell? Like Indians from India who eat a lot of curry and spices? Or how some people have a lot of magnetizm in their body and can't wear watches? You might examine yourself and see if there is something special or unusual about you that might explain your black thumb.

Just another approach to your dilemma...
SBJ


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## paradox (Nov 19, 2012)

sweetbabyjane said:


> Ok, assuming you water, fertilize, whatever--take good care of the plants, and they still die no matter where you live or what you do, you might ask yourself, what is the common denominator?
> 
> You. (Of course, you already knew that, but think of it in a deeper way.)
> 
> ...


hmmmm interesting questions to ponder. I got off all my medications years ago. Docs love to give fibromyalgia patients literally handfulls of meds to take daily. I don't play anymore. 

Unusual diet, well....lots of meat, veggies only under protest and in limited types and quantities. You would think plants would feel very safe around me. LOL.


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## MamaTiger (Jun 11, 2008)

Dh and I can't garden either. I can't even grow houseplants or keep a cactus alive. I've tried and tried over the years but nothing I plant grows. My youngest dd, 12, loves to try to grow things and sometimes she has a little success...so my goal is for HER to be the grower of good things and I will just have to get stuff from her.


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## Belldandy (Feb 16, 2014)

I DIDN'T KILL MY AFRICAN VIOLET! 

Just went to water it ( which I do when I remember to) and it's even blooming!

Get one. Maybe they can break the Curse of the Black Thumb!


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## okiemom (May 12, 2002)

I can do indoor plants and outside flowers but to do veggies... the weeds, dogs and bugs get to them first. I am putting my hopes onto my son. No pressure . He has wanted to take up the fight. I told him to keep me away and they may stand a chance. my other son is my indoor helper the outside doesn't do much for him.


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## paradox (Nov 19, 2012)

Okiemom you just reminded me of a couple years back my son brought home a little cup of dirt and a sprig to plant and care for from school. We pointed out an area to put it outside and brought him some dirt from where one of the old chicken barns had burned down a few decades ago. He grew the biggest prettiest cabbage I ever saw. But alas, he only did it for the grade and would rather spend his time hunting.


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## JJ Grandits (Nov 10, 2002)

Try singing the garden song by Pete Seager or humming Motzart. That seems to work for me.


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