# being distracted/did I do the right thing?



## beaglebiz (Aug 5, 2008)

please let me preface this by saying...
I am CONSTANTLY preaching to friends/family/children (including the boy scout troop kids where I am an ast scoutmaster) to ALWAYS be aware of your surroundings.
Well, I didnt take my own advice, without even thinking...and something strange happened to me.
I bought gas at Sams Club (I have a membership, and its a few cents cheaper than anywhere else. I do try to fill up there if Im in the area). As I was pumping it, I got a text message from one of my children. I waited until the gas was done, put on the screw cap and looked down at my phone (this is where I was distracted). A young man in a subaru pulled up at the pump opposite me (so there was nothing between us but pavement, not the other side of the pump). He was at my car before I realized anything was happening. What I noticed, and I used to make my quick decision was..
his car was running, with the drivers side door open. There was another man in the front seat, I could not see his face from where I was standing.
I have heard about thieves pulling up to women alone at gas pumps, grabbing the purse and taking off before the person knows they have been robbed. I dont carry a purse usually, and when I do, I keep it in the trunk of my car.
All of this happened so quickly...
the young man asked if I could spare some gas. He said his father was with him, and they couldnt get home...I said "What?" and he spoke rapidly "please, please, could I buy him a few gallons of gas." 
I told him I couldnt, didnt have a card with me (I told him I used a gift card to buy my gas,). 
Now I feel bad, wondering if these folks really needed help. I thought about just giving him $5, but I was afraid he would take all of my money if he saw me pulling it out of my pocket. I didnt want to use my debit card, because I was afraid he would grab the card and take off....or a million other things. 
Please know, Im not a bad person. I try to help others every chance I get. I often pay for others groceries when an opportunity arises in a store like aldi. This just wont leave my mind this weekend...I thought Id see what you'all thhought about it


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## 7thswan (Nov 18, 2008)

I'm sorry,it is an awful thing to have to second guess your natural instint to be kind. We can be tested sometimes, by both good and bad. My parents told me of a story just recently of a man needing gas,he approached them in a rest area. They followed him to the gas station and put 20 dollars in his tank. They are quite aged, and used to travel a lot. Just last week I was in a department store, a Woman near me was talking to herself about her sister being murdered. I asked her if she was Ok, she started telling me all about a bad car accident ect. She reached and we hugged. It was horrible that instantly I thought of my purse, and just as soon, I remembered it was around my wrist and zipped up.Even my 6 + foot long haired Dh got kinda startled one day when a man out of the blue asked him for a ride home from a store. Dh said no, he feels real bad about it now. I guess, there really are lessons each day, sometimes we don't get to know what the lesson was.We can only do our best.


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## Ozarks Tom (May 27, 2011)

If a situation makes you uncomfortable, follow your instinct. Don't let politeness or courtesy get you robbed or worse. In my opinion you did exactly the right things to get him on his way. Bad people make can make a living (for a short time) taking advantage of other people's reticence to offend.


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## Maura (Jun 6, 2004)

I'm with you, why wouldn't he shut the motor off? Some people leave the car running if they step out for a minute, but he was at the pump already. If you refused him, he could have asked someone else. It all seemed odd to you and it probably was.

If the man was telling the truth, he can call a friend or family member to drive out and give him some money for gas. Or, he could have done that before leaving the house. I have a feeling your gut was right.


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## myheaven (Apr 14, 2006)

You did the right thing! Trust your gut. It ok, you can't help everyone all the time.


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## sand flea (Sep 1, 2013)

beaglebiz, I think it's important to trust our intuitions about these things; it could save your life sometime. And when that second-guessing voice pops up, and tries to suggest that we are not being charitable... I tartly remind said voice, that this is exactly how bad people take advantage of others... by making us feel obligated to help them out, when we know absolutely nothing about the truth of the situation and have no way to find out.

Stuff like this happens more frequently during the holidays... and we may also be approaching a time, where more people are feeling more desperate about their situations on a widespread basis, too.


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## sisterpine (May 9, 2004)

My DAHB who is a drug addict and a sociopath con man says you would be surprised how many folks will help you out give you money, gas, food etc just for the asking. Needless to say he does not know where I live. The point being if you feel hinky at all get away from there immediately. sis


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## ROSEMAMA (Jan 12, 2007)

BB, you did the right thing! I'm sorry but with the way things are anymore, a situation like that, you go with your gut. 

Besides, people who are honestly in an emergency situation should know that their best chance of getting help is to act like a normal person and not set off some woman (on her own)'s alarms. Better yet, they go inside the gas station and talk to the clerk. 

I asked my DD (who manages at the local GS) she said that if they saw someone out at the pumps that looked to be panhandling or harassing customers, they would call the 5-0.


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## IndyGardenGal (Apr 5, 2009)

I feel like if it was uncomfortable, leave. If you feel badly afterward, pay it forward somewhere else.


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## Vosey (Dec 8, 2012)

Ozarks Tom said:


> If a situation makes you uncomfortable, follow your instinct. Don't let politeness or courtesy get you robbed or worse. In my opinion you did exactly the right things to get him on his way. Bad people make can make a living (for a short time) taking advantage of other people's reticence to offend.


I totally agree with Tom and the others posting with similar sentiments. 

I feel many woman are raised to squash those instincts, we're raised to polite, nice and that we should always help someone in need. It takes some retraining to stop and assess the situation and not automatically say yes. And if you feel uncomfortable, that is your intuition speaking!

Having said that my husband is the one who always helps people out, picks up hitchhikers (all the freakin' time! but not when I'm in the car, I won't let him), and would pull out his wallet in the above situation. I think he feels he's invincible being male.


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## Vosey (Dec 8, 2012)

Btw, isn't it odd he left the car running when they desperately needed gas? Those are the little things that cause your intuition to go off before you've even processed the whole scene.


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## Homesteader (Jul 13, 2002)

You did nothing wrong. Even if they were legit and needed help, you did nothing wrong. Your instinct is everything. 

They way I see it, men should not walk up to women who are alone, in parking lots and such. Ever. 

When they do it to me, this is what I tell them: You really should not walk up to a woman who is alone like you are doing, you could get shot doing that - and I look them right in the eye. I think I about scared the wits out of one guy.

I have had my purse stolen by "drive-by" thieves, as I was unloading my groceries into my car. Reached out and took it right out of my cart and sped off, never even got out of the car. After that costly mistake on my part (funny, it was the first time I had ever left my purse anywhere in the cart like that) I don't trust anyone.

One time, I had just stepped into my car, locked the doors (habit), after using an ATM. It was a little one, my car was right by it. Some man came up to the driver's window, out of nowhere, acting ok at first wanting me to roll the window down. Oh no buddy. I yelled get the well, I used some foul language let's say away from my car. He started hitting the window so I started the car and told him I am going to run you over, and I backed up screeching the tires (had to, couldn't run him over unless I backed up). He saw the look in my eyes and ran like a chicken. 

He's lucky I didn't I didn't go after him. No sirree I have NO time for people who act like idiots like that.

These folks who panhandle should know they shouldn't walk up to women like that. Your persons OP could have asked a guy.

Now I'm not saying there aren't women out there who can't take care of themselves, or that all men would never be harmed, but in general.....

If you are a generous and kind person, you kindness is felt by others and that is all you need to worry about.


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## Wolfy-hound (May 5, 2013)

You feel bad because you're a good person who likes to help out people. There's nothing you can do at this point about that young man, if he was really in need of help.

It's possible he really needed the help and no, not everyone thinks "Gee maybe going up to a adult in public will be seen as threatening". Just because it's a woman, some folks still think women are fairly equal in things. 

I've been approached several times about someone needing gas or money. Most of the time I help someone out if I can. If they were scamming, that's still not on me, it's their responsibility to do right when someone helps them. I can't force them to do anything. I never felt automatically threatened by someone approaching me, but sometimes a situation just raises those hairs on the back of your neck and you should ALWAYS pay attention to that. 

I've told people who needed gas that if they would stand "over there" I would help them out. I've even stopped to help some young men on the side of the road who were out of fuel. Me, by myself, a female helpless and alone...(most of my family would snicker if I said that to them). I simply told them to move to the far side of the car, then I put fuel in their vehicle, waved when they thanked me profusely and left. They stayed over on the far side of the vehicle in full view of me, I had a clear route of exit to my own truck and I felt fine doing so.

The only(ONLY!) time I've been attacked when attempting to help someone was when I stopped to help a tiny little old woman with a flat tire. She was probably less than 100 lbs and looked like 120 years old, frail.. a flat tire on her car. So I stop to help, got out and exchanged greetings and offered to change the tire. When I was crouched down undoing the lugnuts, the old biddy tried to brain me with a tire iron. Nope, not kidding, not joking, no misunderstanding. She actually hit me on the shoulder with it because I ducked. I ran back to my truck, got in and drove up the road about a mile before pulling over and calling the police who COMPLETELY called me a liar and said they would send a deputy out to check on the poor old woman. I told them that was great and I hoped the deputy wore a thick helmet. 

I did stop helping out anyone for a while after that. The next person I stopped to help was actually a big man who didn't have a jack. I put my jack down and let him come pick it up and made him return it the same way. I apologized for being suspicious but told him what happened the last time and he was understanding and thankful for the help. I'm more relaxed now, but wary of anything that sets off those feelings that something might be hinky.


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## Roadking (Oct 8, 2009)

I would have done the same thing BB. The world is getting to be spooky, and as mentioned, the holidays are approaching, and people see easy fix. That and the entitlement mentality is ramping up. 
Just be glad it was a request for gas, and that you were not a victim of the knock game going around.

Matt


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## unregistered41671 (Dec 29, 2009)

As far as I am concerned, if they did not have enough gas money to get home, they should not have been there in the first place.


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## Bellyman (Jul 6, 2013)

I do remember one time when someone approached me, rather shyly, at a gas station and wondered if I could loan them a little something for some gas to get home. I declined and they didn't seem offended and seemed pretty bashful about it. I watched him for a while. He was about 25 miles from home according to what I could tell and was in an old pickup. He was dressed like he had been working and his hands looked the part. He had a cell phone and said he was trying to get his wife to bring him a little but that was a long trip and she wasn't home from work yet. I watched him for a while. He didn't bug people. I think he might have asked one other person while I was there and was quietly waiting at his truck, apparently trying to think of someone else to call. It felt legit. I think he just forgot the cash, honestly. 

After I was done, I decided to go ahead and give him $5, which was plenty to get him where he needed to go. He seemed very thankful and wanted to repay me at some point in the future if he could. I just said, "pay it forward". 

As I left, I saw him pumping gas. 

Was it legit? I'll never know. But it didn't feel like I was being swindled. I can imagine what it might be like to be out and have forgotten my wallet and got into a pinch. Only happened one time and someone else we were with stepped up and took care of things. I hate it when that kind of thing happens but sometime in most everyone's life, we'll be vulnerable. I'd like to think the guy needing the gas really needed it. But if he didn't, I'm sure he'll eventually get his reward. What goes around comes around...

Had his attitude and demeanor been different, I doubt I'd have given him the money. In the case of the original post, I'd have probably done exactly the same. Didn't feel right. Probably wasn't. Glad it wasn't a more dramatic confrontation.


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## beaglebiz (Aug 5, 2008)

Thanks so much for your soothing words...I think your right, the nice motherly me wants to help out, but It just didnt feel right. forgot to mention I hopped into my car and locked the door and drove up to the gas guy shack. I have an axe under the front seat for emergency purposes, also a cc permit (although I dont carry all of the time), so I was totally vulnerable. I really cant let that happen again. This was in WilkesBarre PA, which is quickly becoming the murder capital (per capita) in the US


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## Danaus29 (Sep 12, 2005)

I have become much more paranoid than I used to be about people approaching me. No particular reason other than it just makes my "spidey sense" tingle.


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## mnn2501 (Apr 2, 2008)

A few years back I stopped at a gas station near work, a younger man (early 20's I would guess)in a Whataburger (fast food) uniform (the Whataburger was next door to the gas station) gave me a sob story about his wife being pregnant and calling him at work that she was going into labor and he needed some gas to get her to the hospital. Having a few extra bucks I helped him out. 5 or 6 months later that same guy came up to me at the same gas station with the exact same story.
I laughed and asked him how many wives he had, then got in my car a drove away. Good scam he had going and he was convincing too.

For the O.P. trust your gut, 99% of these are scams.


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## MoCat (Nov 7, 2012)

One time a guy came into the gas station and asked everyone standing in line for $. He told us that he was in the middle of moving and did not have his wallet, it was with his wife. The entire situation threw red flags up for me, there were no boxes in his car, wife in her car was no where close. I asked him if his wife had a phone and he confirmed that, so then I said why don't you call her and she can give your credit card # to the cashier and they can manually put it in so you can get gas. Well, he said he would call her and the next thing we knew he was driving away.

The cashier and I got to talking about it moths later, and he told me that he would always ask if there was someone to call for a credit card # when ever someone would come in asking for $. The scammers leave and legit people will make a phone call.


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## paradox (Nov 19, 2012)

My DH had two guys approach him at a gas pump in a similar fashion (asking for a few bucks for gas) only both were out of the car. One behind him, and the other circling around to come from the front of the car. DH pointed the gas nozzle at the closest one which made him back up enough for DH to get his torso in the car and grab the 9. They both backed off after that but it could have gotten ugly very easily as our DD was asleep in her car seat. 

Rest assured you did the right thing. Always better to be safe than sorry.


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## Vosey (Dec 8, 2012)

Wow, this thread has made me very thankful that in Oregon we can't pump our own gas! We just sit in our cars while the gas station attendents run around. Not a place I ever feel threatened.


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## unregistered41671 (Dec 29, 2009)

Vosey said:


> Wow, this thread has made me very thankful that in Oregon we can't pump our own gas!


Why not? Please explain.


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## Roadking (Oct 8, 2009)

You were in WB and didn't tell me? Dang I'm only 30 to 45 minutes from there...could have had a coffee.
Oh, and I cc as well...always. X's 2 in WB, Mount pocono or Dixson city. Don't get me started on Stroudsburg.
Be glad your safe. And remember, know your surroundings.

Matt


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## MO_cows (Aug 14, 2010)

I have been driving since 1976. In all those years, I was never approached at the gas pump with a sad story to buy somebody else's gas until the last 3 years or so. I think it's just an effective way of begging that has become more popular due to its success. 

I have declined to buy anyone gas. And I refuse to feel guilty about it. I do charitable giving when I know the time and money is well spent such as helping out family members, supporting our local food pantry, don't walk past a Salvation Army bucket without dropping in a buck and so forth. Now if somebody was out of gas on the side of the road, that's a different situation to evaluate and react to. But trying to bum some gas from me at the pumps, nope, it ain't gonna happen. 

You did the right thing.


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## Becka03 (Mar 29, 2009)

Ozarks Tom said:


> If a situation makes you uncomfortable, follow your instinct. Don't let politeness or courtesy get you robbed or worse. In my opinion you did exactly the right things to get him on his way. Bad people make can make a living (for a short time) taking advantage of other people's reticence to offend.


Agreed- you are not a bad person- you have to go with your gut- gut instincts have saved people even those I know - if your gut told you know- trust those instincts-


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## Becka03 (Mar 29, 2009)

My best friend- would help anyone in the world give them the shirt off her back- once she saw a hitchhiker she was on her way to work- she pulled over about 300 ft ahead of the man- she then got this horrible feeling in her gut- she pulled back on the road- and drove off- feeling HORRIBLE about pulling away but couldn't ignore her gut feeling- well- long story short she felt horrible until on the news that night they stated they apprehended the man later that day since he was a wanted convict on the run carrying a duffel bag full of loaded weapons


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## crispin (Jun 30, 2010)

I do not understand what you are asking.

Sounds like someone asked you if you could help them out and you said no.

Ok, that is fine, it is your decision if you want to help them or not.

The other night someone gave me a sob story at a gas station asking if I could spare a couple dollars, I gave them the $12 I had in cash.

I could have told them no. It really doesn't matter. I do not owe them (or anyone) anything.

I chose to give them something you chose not to. All the same.

As for what your post seemed like as you should have been more aware as you may have almost could have possible perhaps a chance that you could have been robbed, well there I do not agree with you at all.

I would rather die than live in fear all the time. 99% of people are good people and I will not live my life in fear of the 1%. YMMV


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## AngieM2 (May 10, 2002)

There is still a place with SERVICE stations and not just gas self-pump stations? I haven't seen one of those in 20 years or so.

And BB, you did just right.


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## Danaus29 (Sep 12, 2005)

crispin said:


> As for what your post seemed like as you should have been more aware as you may have almost could have possible perhaps a chance that you could have been robbed, well there I do not agree with you at all.
> 
> I would rather die than live in fear all the time. 99% of people are good people and I will not live my life in fear of the 1%. YMMV


I'm glad you've never run into the increasing number of bad people. A woman I know recently lost her mother to a vicious attack in a store parking lot. The attacker was one of a small group that had attacked several people before the fatal incident. 

And it's not fear, it's situational awareness and listening to that inner voice that screams "something isn't right". Maybe the "beggar" was on the up and up, maybe not. Point is, the op felt something was wrong so she said "NO" and took off. 

My grandma often repeated an old saying, "better safe than sorry". Applies now more than ever.


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## Vosey (Dec 8, 2012)

Possum Belly said:


> Why not? Please explain.


Oregon law - you cannot pump your own gas in the whole state of Oregon. Although they usually let motorcyclists pump their own. 

It was a change when I first moved here, it definitely takes longer, but it really is so nice and civilized. And it does add jobs, albeit low paying ones. 

New Jersey used to have the same law against self pumping gas, not sure if they still do.


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## Oma2three (May 5, 2012)

I think you were right following your gut feeling by saying no. It's a shame we have to be so careful in whom to trust.But there are so many opportunities in helping others in or from a safe environment,we don't have to do it when it looks iffy or we have an unsafe feeling about the situation.Don't let any body make you feel guilty the way you acted. Better safe than sorry .


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## beaglebiz (Aug 5, 2008)

RK, one of these days our families need to get together 
Crispin, I dont live in fear, I work in retail..Some of the areas are a bit rough .I have seen a person beaten in the parking lot because someone parked too close, purses snatched out of shopping carts.After dark, I try to leave with a group..I cant carry a gun while Im on the clock, but I almost always have my pepper spray.
I feel bad, because if he really needed the gas, I could have helped. They way he went about it made my guard go up immediately.
I dont live there, but I work a territory that goes up to 100 miles from my home.


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## 7thswan (Nov 18, 2008)

I recently read an article about the recent knockdown game, killing and injuring people. They say the Thugs get the same "sence" about the people they attack. But they seem to know which ones are vulnerable, it's the way a person carrys them self when they feel secure-or not. More and more people are takeing to carrying, tho the media is trying to keep quiet on the huge amount of these attacks. Here in Mich. a knockdown took place, the victim was able to shoot and hit the attacker twice, but he lived.
eta: 5 knockouts in Philly.http://www.wnd.com/2013/11/5-knockouts-reported-in-philadelphia/?cat_orig=us


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## Texasdirtdigger (Jan 17, 2010)

I have run into similiar situations a couple of times.....I am always uncomfortable.... I try to beg off...... Yeah....... "Better safe than sorry", for sure.


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## terri9630 (Mar 12, 2012)

For a while in S. Tx illegals were putting old women or children on the side of the road. As soon as someone stopped to help they were beat robbed and left on the side of the road. I ALWAYS listen to my gut. Where we live now I've had people ask for money for food and get extremely upset when I said I have no cash but if they are hungry I will go get them something. There was also one woman who was so happy and grateful when I bought her a sub sandwich that I bought her a loaf of bread, some peanut butter and such. I never give cash and don't give to people who set off the gut alarm.


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## summerdaze (Jun 11, 2009)

I agree with Homesteader, that a man should not walk up on a woman alone, EVER. I was eating lunch in my car at a fast food place one day, and a man appeared and knocked on my window, asking for money. I didn't appreciate being startled like that. It was close to a shopping area, and I watched the guy walk over and wait outside the door of a store. I noticed that he didn't approach any men coming out, ONLY the women, and only women walking out alone. So...they know who the easy marks are.

I work in an area that I consider very high in panhandler activities. If you're in a store parking lot, chances are very good that someone will approach you. When I go out for lunch, I'm very aware of my surroundings, take care where I park, etc.

I was raised in such a way, that I had a hard time saying no for the longest time. But what I've realized as I've gotten older, is that you can't save the world. I also don't give to various organizations that stand at intersections with buckets, or to stores that ask if I want to round up to the nearest dollar so they can donate the rest to something, or ask if I want to donate to some cause, and they give you a paper flower or some such that you write your name on, and they plaster the walls with them. In short, I don't give to things where I have no idea how the money is being managed, or seems like it's highly likely to be scammed.
I have causes that are near and dear to me, that I trust, and that is who I give my money to. 

I'm not sure if I agree that 99% of people are good and wouldn't hurt you either. I think part of that depends on where you're at at the time. 
My life is worth more to me then their hurt feelings, so I don't take any chances. Saying "no" doesn't feel as bad as it used to.


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## campfiregirl (Mar 1, 2011)

Possum Belly said:


> Why not? Please explain.


In Oregon, you can't pump your own gas. They keep their state gas tax low enough that their prices aren't much if any higher than the states around them. Here's a list of some of the reasons they give:
People with training in pumping are better at keeping down fire risk
It is nearly impossible to enforce safety standards on the driving public
Seniors and disabled drivers canât get adequate help at self-serve stations, and are instead forced to find a full-service outlet and pay a higher price
Oregonâs rainy climate leads to more slick spots at gas stations, meaning higher liability insurance rates
Decreased maintenance of pumps because they arenât regularly monitored
Self-service contributes to unemployment â especially among young people
Exposure to toxic fumes is a health hazard
Toxic fume exposure is heightened for pregnant women
Gas drive-off thefts are cut down with the law
Children are sometimes left unattended when customers go to make payment

They say it keeps costs down overall by decreasing insurance rates.


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## beaglebiz (Aug 5, 2008)

campfiregirl said:


> In Oregon, you can't pump your own gas. They keep their state gas tax low enough that their prices aren't much if any higher than the states around them. Here's a list of some of the reasons they give:
> People with training in pumping are better at keeping down fire risk
> It is nearly impossible to enforce safety standards on the driving public
> Seniors and disabled drivers canât get adequate help at self-serve stations, and are instead forced to find a full-service outlet and pay a higher price
> ...


I wish they'd call up our schnook governor (Corbett-PA) and fill him in. One of the few pleasures of driving into Jersey is the full serve gas. Of course, its all no left turns and crazy traffic...


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## moxiegal62 (Nov 28, 2013)

Always trust your instinct. It might be the only thing protecting you! I grew up in the city, and learned street smarts early. Now, as an adult female, it pays off. Lock your car doors, always. Pay attention to your surroundings. Try not to put yourself in compromising situations. There are plenty out there, and plenty of unscrupulous people willing to take advantage of you. I don't CC either. I am unarmed, but keep mt wits about me.

Has anyone heard of the recent spate of gas station customer robberies? They go for women at the pumps who leave their purses in plain site, in the unlocked car. Real easy for them to open the other door and grab it.


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## okiemom (May 12, 2002)

I don't think there is a full service station in the whole state of Oklahoma. Wish we had an option I would use it some. 

Never feel bad about saying no. there are other ways to be nice. 

people on their cell phones really need to pay more attention. Half of the adults and kids I see are walking around with their nose in the screen of the phone and clueless to what's around they also like to drive that way gong at highway speeds. no wonder con artists are getting bolder. I think it is sometimes the general public that are walking around zombie-like.


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## sdnapier (Aug 13, 2010)

On the news they talked about "sliding". A car will pull up near yours at the gas station and a person gets out, stays low, and slides over to your car to take anything out of the non-gas tank side. People are busy fiddling with the pump and don't pay attention. Ladies, your purse is gone and you won't even know it.


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## moxiegal62 (Nov 28, 2013)

sdnapier said:


> On the news they talked about "sliding". A car will pull up near yours at the gas station and a person gets out, stays low, and slides over to your car to take anything out of the non-gas tank side. People are busy fiddling with the pump and don't pay attention. Ladies, your purse is gone and you won't even know it.



I didn't know it had a name. I even lock my car when I am in the grocery store lot putting my shopping cart back up. In the cart stall. It only takes a few seconds for someone to steal a purse right out from under your nose.


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## Danaus29 (Sep 12, 2005)

I try to keep my purse in the trunk but still anyone can smash a window and pop the trunk on most cars. Some of the newer ones have a locking trunk button. It should have been standard equipment years ago, IMO.


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## sdnapier (Aug 13, 2010)

All of the "sliding" business happens with the victim pumping gas just a few feet away. They had a number of videos showing how it was done.


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## bluemoonluck (Oct 28, 2008)

I was getting my two babies (both under 18 months) out of the car in the Aldi parking lot a while back when an older lady (60's to 70's maybe?) walked up to me and said that she hated to ask but she had forgotten her cell phone at home and she needed to call her elderly friend to make sure she was okay. :huh: She said that sometimes her friend would fall and not be able to reach the phone so she liked to call her several times during the day to check on her, and if she didn't answer she'd know to call for help.

I felt horrible doing it, but I said to her "I'll call your friend on speakerphone, but I'm NOT handing you my cell phone." She seemed thankful and gave me the number, which was local...I dialed it and a very elderly-sounding lady did answer and confirm that she was okay, and she chastised the woman for worrying about her so much. And when we hung up the woman was very grateful, thanked me and all that.....

But I still wonder if it wasn't some kind of scam to try to get my cell phone out of my hands :shrug:. I wonder how many people would just hand their cell phone over to an older lady who seemed to be sincerely concerned about her friend.......


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## Ernie (Jul 22, 2007)

bluemoonluck said:


> But I still wonder if it wasn't some kind of scam to try to get my cell phone out of my hands :shrug:. I wonder how many people would just hand their cell phone over to an older lady who seemed to be sincerely concerned about her friend.......


It depends on whether or not it looks like I could outrun her.


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## unregistered41671 (Dec 29, 2009)

Ernie said:


> It depends on whether or not it looks like I could outrun her.


Some of them might fool ya. :happy2:


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## Annsni (Oct 27, 2006)

I am a pastor's wife and I think you did the right thing. A woman alone - no. I'm sorry, you don't get money from me. I don't trust you. Simple. If they don't have gas money then go home.


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## bluemoonluck (Oct 28, 2008)

Ernie said:


> It depends on whether or not it looks like I could outrun her.


LOL Well I had two babies with me, so no chance of that. And no way would I leave a toddler and an infant unattended to run down my phone. 

It just seemed like an odd request, YKWIM?


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## Common Tator (Feb 19, 2008)

The last time someone asked me for money at a gas station, I caved in. I saw a young woman walking from a crappy old car. The young woman seemed sincere, not threatening. She said she lived in another city and didn't have enough gas to get home. I had a $5 bill in my pocket. So I gave it to her. 

If the money had been in my wallet, where I would have had to open it in front of this stranger, or even peel a bill off a stack of other bills I wouldn't have given it to her. But I knew this $5 was there all by itself. I could get it out of my pocket without taking my eyes off her.

Anyway, she took the bill, climbed into her shiny new truck and drove off, while I stood there feeling like a chump as I continued to fill my 15 year old car.

Then yesterday I walked to the Post Office. There was a woman sitting out front. She didn't talk like a local, and didn't look like one. Her teeth were rotted out, clothes dirty. I think she was from the South based on her accent. She asked for money. I had my ATM card, and some coins in my pocket. I reached in my pocket and gave her the coins. Then I scurried off as she shouted at me that she didn't want coins. She wanted dollars!


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## simi-steading (Sep 27, 2012)

99 times out of a 100, people who panhandle or ask for handouts brazenly don't need it.. 

It's the ones that don't ask, but rather hold a cup and don't say a word that do... 

Here in DC I see foreign women pushing strollers holding cards in bad English asking for $5 or so to buy formula for their babies... But then you look close, and the stroller is expensive, their shoes are nice and new, their hand bags are expensive.. 

Many people out there make a living off of other people's generosity. I've seen news reports and interviews done with people saying they've made well over $50K a year begging for money...


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## Danaus29 (Sep 12, 2005)

On my way to work I have seen the same couple begging for help several times. Dh wanted to give them money once but I said no. Their coats were new, expensive, and fit well. Her hair was recently dyed. He was wearing brand new boots that cost close to a couple hundred. Now I ain't stupid and I know people can dress in shabby clothes and grubby up to look poor and homeless but those are the ones that reek of cigarettes and booze. Around here most of the beggars are the well dressed in expensive clothes types. Neither get anything from me.


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

for sure many of them make a good bit from others generosity. use to be a lady in a town a few miles away. I always gave and I knew many more that did. we would see her in Mcdonalds quite often. in addition to giving dollars we would buy her food also. she looked the part though. so shabby and pushing around a cart. same old coat and hat I had seen her wear for a good 20 years.I heard she died a few years back and they found hundreds of thousands in her mattress. ~Georgia.


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## Ernie (Jul 22, 2007)

Everyone's always got lots of stories to talk about how hungry or homeless people are really scamming you.

You don't often hear the other side, about how $5 or a $10 or a $20 really helped someone and pulled them through.


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## Danaus29 (Sep 12, 2005)

Probably because the ones who really need it are few and far between or those who help don't like tooting their own horn.


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