# If the saying "Two can live cheaper than one" is true...



## Shrek (May 1, 2002)

Why do so many single folk find themselves with more disposable income after they divorce or move out of a shack up back into a place of their own?

Last night at the bowling alley a woman my gf and I know told us she divorced her husband of six years a few months back and even having moved out the house they bought on mortgage, giving her husband her share of the equity in the settlement and getting her own house she said she is about $100 a month better off than when she was married.

On our way home gf told me she was way better off than when she was married and said she knew I was better off because of what our mutual friend had told her about my life during our years apart while he was trying to match us up again.

I told her we weren't probably good models for the question since she was given her house by her parents and I paid mine off with part of my buyout package but I knew what her and the others were talking about.

I know quite a few single folk of both genders who after divorcing or moving out on their "two can live cheaper than one" thinking mates , they found themselves better off financially.

The only explanation for this I can think of is those who end up doing better either have no children or the kids are grown and their mates who said "two can live cheaper than one" to them to speed up the marrying or shacking up weren't the hardest working of the two.

So what do you think makes some of the formerly coupled do so well after they are re-singled?


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## Guest (Aug 3, 2012)

I think it's a uniformly false statement. While 2 can live cheaper together than they could separately, there is just no way that two can live cheaper than one. And just because they "can" don't mean they will.


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## summerdaze (Jun 11, 2009)

Maybe part of it could be that a couple that thinks it will be cheaper together tend to pay more for cars and residences and other major purchaces because, after all, now they have help. Then someone's hours get cut, or loses a job, or someone gets sick, etc, and any wiggle room they might have had is gone. Now that nice condo that they couldn't have afforded on their own is a burden, or the car payment on their dream car is something they'd like to get out from underneith.
In other words, they lived a little outside their means collectively together, believing that things would get paid down faster, work raises would get bigger, etc.
If they had lived more frugaly together from the begining, then they probably COULD have had a better, cheaper life as a couple.

Then when you find yourself single, you're more likely to try to find the best possible deals on housing, and other expences since you know exactly how far your paycheck is going to go. It forces you to get really frugal about things.

And then sometimes the goals of each person are just way different. One is a spendthrift, and the other is knocking themselves out with coupons, sales, etc trying to balance it all out. Or one may be hiding info about what they're spending money on, so when they split, the other finds that suddendly they have a lot more money.
Lots of different reasons.


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

Excuse me, but doesn't the old saying declare that, "Two can live AS CHEAP AS one"? That said, I was much better off after the divorce from my first, as he was a spendthrift, who spent every penny *I* earned or attempted to save for a rainy day. Yes, *I* was my family's breadwinner.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

I do not think most divorced people are better off. The ones that are better off most likely have good jobs and low overhead. The woman in your example only has $1,200 more a year that is good money but it is not that much.

Generally though, keeping personal overhead down and living below your means usually keeps people in the black.


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## Ramblin Wreck (Jun 10, 2005)

In the narrow focus of money management and it's impact on relationships, the best combination would be two savers. Sometimes a saver and spender can make things work out, but one of the pair is being used and the other is a user. The saver just accepts this as part of the relationship and is OK with it. The worst combination, and I've never known one that worked out, is when two spenders get together. Between the burden of "stuff" and debt, it overwhelms everything else that might be good and attractive in the pairing.


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## momof2 (Mar 28, 2003)

I don't know... the day to day SHOULDN'T cost a lot more. It doesn't cost me any more to cook for an extra person (I am already cooking for 9... so maybe it would be different if I were only cooking for myself). Doing extra laundry doesn't cost me any more. If both people have their vehicles paid for then that shouldn't cost more... usually insurance would be cheaper for a family wouldn't it? The only thing that I can see costing more is if the other person is a big spender. 

My quality of living (money wise) is slightly less than when I was married but that is because he lied about money and everything was being charged and not paid off every month. Now I live within my means and I have a nice quality of life... in every way. I can't see how another person would cost any more. In fact it SHOULDN'T be any different. Assuming he is already paying his way and I mine... so what should change? If anything shouldn't it help to split some cost?

Remember... I have only been married once when I was 19 and never lived with anyone else so I don't know... I'm asking.


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## lurnin2farm (Jun 10, 2012)

2 should be able to live cheaper than 1 in theory. Then you get married, have kids, get a mortgage and car payments then divorce lawyers and settlements.. Of course dating costs money and those dinners out and weekend trips... It all adds up. 

At 48 I dont think I'll be getting married again but may find someone to live with the rest of my life. If I do I think the money can be separate. She has hers I have mine. Maybe things would work out better that way. I cant think of any reason to combine finances anyway, not at this stage in life.


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## momof2 (Mar 28, 2003)

The whole idea of keeping finances seperate was strange to me until recently. I would have said I would never marry someone who would think like that but I have realized it's not SO strange. I have never known anyone who does that but most of those people are still on 1st marriages. I guess it makes some sense and I guess it really isn't much different than paying the bills from a joint account and each person having "spending" money of their own. There are so many things you have to think differently about when it comes to a 2nd marriage. Most men by this age have either built businesses or worked hard for their savings and don't want to risk a woman going shoe shopping with it.  

Lurning2farm... the divorce lawyers & settlements aren't suppose to be what follows marriage and kids... it's suppose to be HAPPILY EVER AFTER!


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## Terri (May 10, 2002)

momof2 said:


> The whole idea of keeping finances seperate was strange to me until recently. I would have said I would never marry someone who would think like that but I have realized it's not SO strange.


Yeah..... 

I was a small earner and a saver, and I married a gent who was a good earner but a real spender. We always seem to run out of money before the end of the month and it was making conflict. Ramblin Wreck is right about that!

So, we split our money and what each paid for, and it is working very much better! If he runs short he uses his credit card, which he alone uses, and he pays it off.... whenever. He gets caught up once or twice a year.


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## lurnin2farm (Jun 10, 2012)

I do tend to look at things slightly different than others. I dont care about money as long as the bills are paid and I have worked very hard to minimize my bills. My place will be paid for by the end of the year, 2 1/2 years ahead of schedule. I had a 5 year land contract but I hate debt LOL. Once the house is paid for my bills are less than 250 a month plus whatever food I want to buy. I dont care if a woman has money, doesnt have money. If she has it like you said she earned it and its hers to use as she sees fit. If she wants to spend it all on shoes, have at it LOL. I'll buy her some shoes but I have other plans for my money. Need a tractor soon. . 

I was married twice before and both times they were dependent on me for money. They didnt want to work or not work much. I had no problem with that but when it was over they had nothing to leave with. I would rather they had worked and had a means to support themselves after it was over. 
I would prefer a woman has her own money and can leave whenever she wants. If she stays shes there cause she wants to be, not because she has no choice. I just think we would both be happier that way.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

At one time in my life when I was much younger, I was financially dependant on another, I told myself never again. Money, bills, banks, cars etc. should be kept seperated. And I'm glad I did. But I would very much like someone to budget for me...LOL


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## doodlemom (Apr 4, 2006)

You're leaving out some variables. My ex husband is a low life hunk of poo gambler, drinker living large bum who can't pay child support, can't pay half the kids medical bills, hasn't seen the kids in 2 years(we're happy about that lol), but managed to show up at my son's HS graduation. I whispered in my son's ear ask him if he'll pay half your college when we were out of sight and my son asked him as father was hogging the spotlight and he said yes of course I'm going to pay for your college in front of so many people. Of course when my son followed up on that promise he said he didn't have the money, but we never banked on that lol.


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## doodlemom (Apr 4, 2006)

nehimama said:


> Excuse me, but doesn't the old saying declare that, "Two can live AS CHEAP AS one"? That said, I was much better off after the divorce from my first, as he was a spendthrift, who spent every penny *I* earned or attempted to save for a rainy day. Yes, *I* was my family's breadwinner.


Amen I feel your pain.


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## oregon woodsmok (Dec 19, 2010)

Since the ex spent every penny on himself, I was better off. He was better off too, since he didn't have to come up with the scanty few dollars he used to spend on food for his family.


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## lurnin2farm (Jun 10, 2012)

Fowler said:


> At one time in my life when I was much younger, I was financially dependant on another, I told myself never again. Money, bills, banks, cars etc. should be kept seperated. And I'm glad I did. But I would very much like someone to budget for me...LOL


Budgets are easy as long as enough is coming in. 

Income=
Bills-

Wish list
Under this list all the things you want and then prioritize them. Now you have a budget and a goal list . 

You can set it up on an excel spreadsheet pretty easy too.


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## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

next time around it would be fun to be with someone who geeks out on "reduce, reuse, recycle". It can be a fun game to see how much you can barter, scrounge etc.


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