# I gave it my best college try.....



## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

I did. I really did.
I tried to listen, take notes, see tutors.
Watched videos on youtube, sought help.

I don't get it.
I don't know how to operate a computer.
I don't know how to do algebra.
I don't understand slope, no matter how many times I try, from zillions of different resources.
I can't get a degree without the math.

All I wana do is be a wife and a mother.
Cook and clean and garden and can.
Sew and raise some animals.
Go to Bible study, volunteer at church and at the youth shelter.
I just wana live a quite simple life with someone who loves me.

Oh my God is that so much to ask.
Well yes is obviously the answer.
I am so discouraged, frustrated, wizzed off.....I think I am going to explode.


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

patience grasshopper.....patience


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

elkhound said:


> patience grasshopper.....patience


no elk I am done.
stick a fork in me.
I have no patience left. None. Zero.
I have had it.
UP to here.
I didn't want to go to school anyway. I knew I was too dumb, but I was scared and looking for security. 
It's an illusion. I will never have security.
I just want the earth to open up and swallow me.


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

lay the burden on the lord !!


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

Laura Zone 5 said:


> no elk I am done.
> stick a fork in me.
> I have no patience left. None. Zero.
> I have had it.
> ...



:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

* Jeremiah 33:6 ESV / 11 helpful votes *

Behold, I will bring to it health and healing, and I will heal them and reveal to them abundance of prosperity and security.


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

elkhound said:


> lay the burden on the lord !!


I think He is tone deaf to my voice......I really do.
I can't take anymore.


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

Speaking as a math teacher, slope is VERY difficult! Don't give up! (((hugs)))


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

Laura Zone 5 said:


> I think He is tone deaf to my voice......I really do.
> I can't take anymore.



i read alot of your posts i know better than that.....i know you believe the bible....he says he wont pile on more than we can take.....God doesn't lie.


remember what Job went through with?


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

elkhound said:


> i read alot of your posts i know better than that.....i know you believe the bible....he says he wont pile on more than we can take.....God doesn't lie.
> 
> 
> remember what Job went through with?


i am not job. i suck. he was an amazing man.
man
he was a man. an amazing, man.
i am not. i give up.


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

Laura Zone 5 said:


> i am not job. i suck. he was an amazing man.
> man
> he was a man. an amazing, man.
> i am not. i give up.


hog wash.....all ya gotta do is fall back lick ya wounds and regroup.


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

p.s you dont have to be Job...all ya gotta do is be laurazone5


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

:fussin:

read this if ya dare......i double dog dare ya.

http://www.ucg.org/bible-study-less...s-god-allow-suffering/learning-suffering-job/


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

elkhound said:


> p.s you dont have to be Job...all ya gotta do is be laurazone5


only if I can be laurazone 5 prior to Aug 13 2011.
otherwise, I don't want to be her anymore.
i should have changed my name/handle after that date.
you don't know what i would give to be laurazone 5 before that day.


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

Laura Zone 5 said:


> only if I can be laurazone 5 prior to Aug 13 2011.
> otherwise, I don't want to be her anymore.
> i should have changed my name/handle after that date.
> you don't know what i would give to be laurazone 5 before that day.




No matter how severe a trial is, we should never assume God isn't listening or doesn't care. He sees lessons we need to learn that are beyond our present understanding. We need always to remember some excellent advice from King David: "Wait on the LORD; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the LORD!" ( Psalm 27:14
). We should learn from Job's experience to maintain patient respect and trust in God even in the midst of our sufferings ( James 5:10-11


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

Laura Zone 5 said:


> only if I can be laurazone 5 prior to Aug 13 2011.
> otherwise, I don't want to be her anymore.
> i should have changed my name/handle after that date.
> you don't know what i would give to be laurazone 5 before that day.


but what if the laurazone5 starting from today is a way better one than the one she considers to be the best?


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

> Job's experience is recorded in great detail so we can learn the folly of holding too high an opinion of ourselves. "Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall. Better to be of a humble spirit with the lowly, than to divide the spoil with the proud" ( Proverbs 16:18-19 ).


my opinion of myself?
failure. worthless. used up. useless.
not very prideful.
what good i have to give, no one wants.



> Job's experiences can explain why righteous people may go through discouraging and traumatic times and be tempted to resent God for not obviously and quickly intervening on their behalf. Like Job, we can fail to understand that God sees far more than we see.


i am not righteous. i am opposite.
i do not resent God, I love Him, but i feel, abandoned....again.



> No matter how severe a trial is, we should never assume God isn't listening or doesn't care. He sees lessons we need to learn that are beyond our present understanding. We need always to remember some excellent advice from King David: "Wait on the LORD; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the LORD!" ( Psalm 27:14). We should learn from Job's experience to maintain patient respect and trust in God even in the midst of our sufferings ( James 5:10-11).


i can bear no more. i cant handle one more thing. elk, i can't handle it.


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

i will go back and forth all night if need be....a friend in need is a friend indeed.


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

Laura, I am sending you a HUGE hug!!!!


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

* Jeremiah 29:11 ESV / 42 helpful votes *

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

* 2 Corinthians 12:10 ESV / 38 helpful votes *

For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

* Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV / 25 helpful votes *

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

* Romans 8:18 ESV / 9 helpful votes *

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

* Isaiah 41:10 ESV / 21 helpful votes *

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.


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## frogmammy (Dec 8, 2004)

You know, when I was a student, I had a MEGA problem with algebra, one type problem in particular. I asked my instructor MULTIPLE times for help, but it just never turned out right. Finally I went to my OLD algebra instructor and explained that I didn't know what I was doing wrong, but I was following the way I was SUPPOSED to work the problem, but it wasn't turning out right. He told me to work the problem while he watched and I did. As I was working it he said, Oh, I see what you're doing!" And in two sentences he told me and it made SO much sense and I had no more problems.

Sometimes, you just have to connect, to click with an explaniation. It's not your fault, it's (usually) not the fault of the instructor, it's just that you haven't YET heard the explaniation you can relate to. Keep talking about it and someone will say something just so utterly RIGHT that you will wonder why it took you so long to understand.

Honest!

Mon


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## lonelytree (Feb 28, 2008)

Find someone that can explain it in a way that you can understand. 

What is slope anyways? Never heard of it.


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

Good advice, Mon. Sometimes when I have a student who just doesn't get something I have another student try to explain it...it is amazing how often that works!
I sent you a pm, Laura.


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## willow_girl (Dec 7, 2002)

I'm going to take a different tack here. Maybe college _isn't_ right for you, at least not at the moment. I don't think you're dumb (far from it!) but it doesn't seem like you're passionate about getting your degree and going into a particular field. 

There are lots of jobs you can do without college. You're waitressing, right? I did that for years ... it's pretty good money ... a lot more than a lot of college grads earn. And if your lifestyle is pretty modest, you can get by on not very much money. (Ask me how I know this.) ound:

As far as finding a man to support you ... hmm, I don't have too much experience in that department, I'm afraid. But I do know that you can work and support yourself ... and still garden, and can, and cook from scratch, and decorate, and have critters, etc. Because I do all of those things. Working and having a life aren't mutually exclusive.


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

Laura Zone 5 said:


> my opinion of myself?
> failure. worthless. used up. useless.
> not very prideful.
> what good i have to give, no one wants.
> ...


I think its time to put things into perspective.

From what you've said, you have raised a great group of kids, done well with your home and are great at your job. Do YOU really see yourself as useless, etc., or is it how your hubs is making you feel? You say you are a strong and straight forth person, so BE that person and quit allowing his views to define you.

No one wants what you have to give? Seriously?:smack Change that thinking! There's one person that doesn't value you and what you give. But there are 1000s of someone's out there that would and the sooner that you can work through things, the sooner that you will be able to move forward, enjoy your life again and find the one that will want to give as much as they receive.

You have strong faith. I know that you have to realize that God hasn't abandoned you. A man has, but not God.

You can't bear no more?

Go to counseling, talk to friends, rant and rave, work it out or walk away. Only you can decide how much more you want to bear. It is VERY scary to think about the future and being alone, but do you really want your future to be more of what you have now? I've been there and know the feelings that you are having. I also know that once I decided on my path, more peace came into my life. I wish that for you too and I hope that you will find your joy again soon. It will be there waiting for you when you're ready. :grouphug:


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## Tommyice (Dec 5, 2010)

Laura I hope the light of a new day has you seeing things "in a different light." When we have difficulty with a situation or problem it is very easy to blame ourselves and belittle ourselves. 

You've had a life altering change with your marriage situation--no different than the death of someone. Don't put off the grieving by filling the time with other pursuits. One thing I've learned about grief and loss is you can pack that suitcase, hop a plane to a new locale. But (there's always that but) when you reach your destination, check into that hotel, you're gonna open that suitcase and right there on top is going to be all that pain you thought you left. 

Moving on and total consumption is a very tight rope to walk. Best way to walk that rope is with the help of a big pole you get to hold onto. Elkhound gave you the first piece of the pole--the one that's closest to your heart to grasp. Use that, then build the pole bigger, slowly. With Spring here, work in the garden. Sunlight is the best disinfectant. Like Willow suggested, perhaps college isn't for you _at this time_. Put it on the back burner for a bit or lessen the class load to only one. 

Before you know it, your pole will big enough to help you cross your chasm.

{{{hugs}}}}


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## Ardie/WI (May 10, 2002)

willow_girl said:


> I'm going to take a different tack here. Maybe college _isn't_ right for you, at least not at the moment. I don't think you're dumb (far from it!) but it doesn't seem like you're passionate about getting your degree and going into a particular field.
> 
> There are lots of jobs you can do without college. You're waitressing, right? I did that for years ... it's pretty good money ... a lot more than a lot of college grads earn. And if your lifestyle is pretty modest, you can get by on not very much money. (Ask me how I know this.) ound:
> 
> As far as finding a man to support you ... hmm, I don't have too much experience in that department, I'm afraid. But I do know that you can work and support yourself ... and still garden, and can, and cook from scratch, and decorate, and have critters, etc. Because I do all of those things. Working and having a life aren't mutually exclusive.


As usual,Willow just posted what I was going to say!


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## Ramblin Wreck (Jun 10, 2005)

From afar it's hard to advise someone on life plans, but you had evidently decided on this path and devoted a lot of time and other resources to it. If you still feel it's the right way to go for you and your family, then stay focused on it. Get some help and get through it. If you are into slope work, it's more likely calculus than algebra. Get online and look for resources to help you. They're out there. Whenever I'm stumped with something, I get on google and type "idiot proof...." and then put whatever I'm working on. It's amazing what you find. I've got so many "idiot proof" receipes that I could cook for a season and not repeat a menu...and I haven't killed a single dinner guest yet.

That being said, I do agree that you should have some passion about what you are doing/studying, as Willow and Ardie suggest above. If not, maybe you've chosen the wrong path.


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## foxfiredidit (Apr 15, 2003)

Would someone please tell me what slope is? 

LZ5, don't be discouraged...I failed miserably at arithmetic in high school and went into business math as a result / easy course just to get by. It wasn't until I had a part time job at a machine shop that I became interested in it. Practical applications of formulas never were as hard to understand for me as was sitting in a classroom trying to learn them all just to pass a test. You have a good head on your shoulders, be patient with yourself no matter what course in life you choose.


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## Jenstc2003 (Apr 4, 2012)

*Sends a big hug* You are NOT worthless. Not at all. I know the feeling- all too well. And it is so painful to have to face that wall. All you can do is just cry on the bad days and then, when the tears clear, try to see if/how you can find a way to make something better out of it. 

If you want to stick with college- which I recommend heartily, at least at some point- maybe there is another math class that would fit the requirement you are trying to fulfill? I was darned lucky that I was able to avoid algebra in college- it would have been a complete and total disaster! If you can't, maybe there is a different tutor who can help, or you can find a professor who is more able to help you meet your needs. No professor or tutor would EVER have helped me, but it is something that you might consider. Or maybe try taking a course below the one you NEED to help refresh your skills, then try it again. 

Others have also suggested that maybe this isn't exactly the right time for you to be doing college, which is something to consider. Maybe a summer off would be a good opportunity to consider the possibilities. There are jobs that might suit you which don't require college, but you'd have to look to find out what those would be, as they are few and far between. If, after some prayer and reflection, you truly love what you are studying for, then you will have to fight for it, perhaps harder than ever. If you aren't in love with it, then consider what other options might be available. Some degrees don't require the hard math- elementary ed at my undergrad was one of those. I took their required course as my Math when I was a special ed major (retook the darned class THREE TIMES!) even though I decided not to pursue a teaching degree later. The college kept that as my Math when I changed to History, which saved me much grief. Some options might be out there- you may have to take time to sort through what is available and what you can do. I hope this will be some encouragement.


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## homefire2007 (Sep 21, 2007)

Pick yourself up and go on. Slope....algebra....maybe not your thing....no biggie. Life happens while you are making other plans. There is only so much time for introspection and self flagellation. Simplify your life right now, small baby steps. You are a smart, capable woman. What was is no longer what is.....that just might turn out to be a good thing. Big hugs sent your way.


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## mickm (Jul 23, 2010)

Ok i will be the jerk, and i will repeat my previous advice, you will become happy, when you choose to become happy.

Math sucks. I know what i need to know, and avoid the rest. its like trying to pound a nail in to a chunk of rubber, trying to teach me math.
-
You mentioned several things that you wanted to do, and i fail to see how a college degree will help you with those things. It wont help you get a better job. Those days are over. There are thousands of 20 somethings with college degrees looking for jobs, and most companies prefer kids.

Find some kind of peace in your life. You. Dont blame others, and i know thats hard. I have done it. Dont put yourself in a position to fail. Get yourself to a position where you accept and love yourself. That may mean you have to make some saccrafices. Turn loose









Laura Zone 5 said:


> I did. I really did.
> I tried to listen, take notes, see tutors.
> Watched videos on youtube, sought help.
> 
> ...


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## Dutchie (Mar 14, 2003)

Laura, I don't know you that well but I know you are far from dumb. You are very articulate. I don't agree with you most of the time, but you make a good argument. 

Allow me to tell you what I would tell my daughter. 

Knock off the pity party. Pull yourself up by the bootstraps and keep going.

You don't need a man to be happy. Or financially stable. Or to garden, can etc.

Take a little break and clear your head. Regroup about what you want to do with your life. What YOU want to do with YOUR life. Be realistic. Wishing for a man in your life is not realistic.

Take a few weeks to do that. Then look ahead to your future and leave your past behind.

Come on girl. Don't embarrass the female species. :grouphug:


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## Bret (Oct 3, 2003)

We people often take off in directions that we think that we are supposed to go and hope that the bright light will lead us through each door. Sometimes we think that the direction is where others expect us to go. We find that one door closes, then another and another until our own light goes off and we find ourselves in the sweetspot and that we really didn't want to go in those directions after all. Sometimes, when we are close to the sweetspot we have to pass through some real yuk so that when we arrive, it's a wow moment so that we know. Keep moving forward. Celebrate each closed door every time. There will always be closed doors. You are getting closer.


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## Guest (Apr 18, 2013)

Wow..
I've been where you are..those feelings are overcome by ACTION, time and faith..just because you feel unwanted doesn't mean it's true..just because you feel like you cannot try anymore, doesn't mean it's true. I will pray for you to see truth ..I will pray for you to take baby steps forward when you find running too difficult.. always go forward..even teeny tiny movement forward helps..:walk:


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## sidepasser (May 10, 2002)

You can operate a computer because you are obviously posting things on HT. You are one of the last people in the world I would have ever thought would just give up. 

Guess I have seen it all now. I can't do algebra either but I didn't let that stop me from moving right along doing what I need to do in life. Which by the way means that either you get a tutor to help you, drop the class and choose something that is (a) more interesting, (b) more in line with what you are able to do, or (c) take an alternate class that give you equal credit.

there are ways around doing slope..my son who is as algebraically challenged as they come, graduated with a 4 year degree by substituting "using a graphing calculator" for Algebra II.

Got his degree and now is working on his Master's. Never give up, you got a whole lot of folks here that look at you and say "wow if anyone can do it Laurazone 5 can"..so show us.

Find a way. There is a way. And if you need computer instruction, there is a way to learn that as well. 

for the time being to get some really valuable understandable math help by one of the best on the internet for FREE:

https://www.khanacademy.org/search?page_search_query=slope


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## Ramblin Wreck (Jun 10, 2005)

foxfiredidit said:


> Would someone please tell me what slope is?


In mathematics, the *slope* or *gradient* of a line describes its steepness, incline, or grade. A higher slope value indicates a steeper incline. Slope is normally described by the ratio of the "rise" divided by the "run" between two points on a line. The line may be practical - as set by a road surveyor - or in a diagram that models a road or a roof either as a description or as a plan.
The rise of a road between two points is the difference between the altitude of the road at those two points, say _y_1 and _y_2, or in other words, the rise is (_y_2 &#8722; _y_1) = &#916;_y_. For relatively short distances - where the earth's curvature may be neglected, the run is the difference in distance from a fixed point measured along a level, horizontal line, or in other words, the run is (_x_2 &#8722; _x_1) = &#916;_x_. Here the slope of the road between the two points is simply described as the ratio of the altitude change to the horizontal distance between any two points on the line. In mathematical language, the slope _m_ of the line is


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## Terri (May 10, 2002)

When I look at all of the explanations of slope, it looks like somebody has tried to make it look hard on purpose! 

This is the simplest explanation I have found: I do not know if it is simpler than what your teacher tried or not!http://www.wtamu.edu/academic/anns/mps/math/mathlab/beg_algebra/beg_alg_tut23_slope.htm


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

If you seriously need help with slope, send me a pm. I have to scaffold the instruction of this topic to reach several different academic levels in my class. Maybe I can help... =)


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## foxfiredidit (Apr 15, 2003)

Thanks RR, I thought that was what I was thinking...(huh?). I recognize the math in the calculations we used in determining board foot volume per tree. If a given tree is 11.3 inches in diameter what is the board ft. volume if a tree that is 10 inches contain 125 board ft., and a tree that is 12 inches contains 200 board ft. Same principal I see. 

Am I not the brightest star in this classroom? 
Don't say what you think!! :hand:


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

:grouphug: hugs and more :grouphug::grouphug: hugs for laurazone5 today

:buds::ashamed:


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## Ardie/WI (May 10, 2002)

Dutchie said:


> Laura, I don't know you that well but I know you are far from dumb. You are very articulate. I don't agree with you most of the time, but you make a good argument.
> 
> Allow me to tell you what I would tell my daughter.
> 
> ...


Great post!

Laura, the last thing on God's green earth you need in your life is a man! Good Lord, if you are unhappy now, just imagine another man around your healing heart. NO! NO! NO! It's called rebound. It's called a safety net to fall into and get all tangled up and hurt again in!


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## rkintn (Dec 12, 2002)

Laura,
Believe it or not, I can totally relate to what you are going through. It seems as though since my last divorce, I can't seem to get my act together. As soon as it looks as though there's a light at the end of the tunnel, I find out it's another train runnin' me over. Here's what I've learned (some of it's already been said, so bear with me): 1. YOU have to decide to make yourself happy. Seems like a no brainer, but it's not. 2. You have got to take time for yourself. As women, we tell ourselves that raising our kids makes us happy or that helping others fulfills us. Fact of the matter is, you have to be a little selfish and find that one thing that you do for yourself that makes you happy. For me, it's my photography. It's my thing. I don't share it with the kids. It's mine. It keeps me sane. 3. Take action! If you don't like your job, quit and find a new one. If you don't like where you live, move. ETC. Don't wait til another job comes along, or a new house opens up or whatever. Change it NOW. Personally, I had to put myself in a pretty uncomfortable position to do what I have wanted to do for a long time. I quit my job in Feb because I could no longer stand working in a nursing home. I had some money put back and we lived off of that until recently. Now, it's time to find a new job and we are moving 3 hours away, to Nashville, so I can find one. My BFF lives outside of N'ville and that's where we are headed. I've talked about moving in with her for YEARS! and just now got the courage to move. As scared as I am, I know it's gonna be a good thing for me and the kids!

And the most important lesson of all.....NEVER EVER GIVE UP! NEVER! Fake it til you make, if you have to, but never, ever let the negativity get the better of you. I like what Dutchie said. Dig deep, girl, the strength is there, I promise you
:grouphug:


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## Fair Light (Oct 13, 2010)

Laura I have to remind you that what you are going through is a "process" that takes a really really long time...that is just the way it is...no one or nothing can change that...It has taken me 4plus years to get through it...and I am still learning more about myself everyday...many here have walked the same road...and it hurts all of us in the same way...when people would tell me that I would "one day" come out of this a better person...I honestly DID NOT believe it...I thought it was impossible...but it is true...I am a 100% better person than I used to be...I didn't want a different life...I wanted what you say you want...but in hindsight? I have an even better life than I thought I had before....I used to think that I would NEVER be happy again...but I am soooo much happier now than before...I look back at my old life (that I thought at the time was so great) and I have to chuckle...because my current life is fuller, richer and much more fulfilling...Things happen in our lives that forever change us...but it is up to you to decide if you will change for the better or the worse....I hope and pray that one day...(like me) you will be able to look back and say to yourself..."wow..that was a really rough time in my life....and what he did to me was horrible....but I am so much better today..."...because you can have that...you just have to do the work to get it...and by the way...I went to college after my divorce...and I royally "suck" at math...LOL...but I have a wonderful life and "one day" you will have a wonderful life too...also...I thought that surely God had abandoned me...that he didn't hear my cries...but he heard them and he walked through it with me....I am praying that God grant you peace during this difficult time...


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## tambo (Mar 28, 2003)

Fair Light said:


> Laura I have to remind you that what you are going through is a "process" that takes a really really long time...that is just the way it is...no one or nothing can change that...It has taken me 4plus years to get through it...and I am still learning more about myself everyday...many here have walked the same road...and it hurts all of us in the same way...when people would tell me that I would "one day" come out of this a better person...I honestly DID NOT believe it...I thought it was impossible...but it is true...I am a 100% better person than I used to be...I didn't want a different life...I wanted what you say you want...but in hindsight? I have an even better life than I thought I had before....I used to think that I would NEVER be happy again...but I am soooo much happier now than before...I look back at my old life (that I thought at the time was so great) and I have to chuckle...because my current life is fuller, richer and much more fulfilling...Things happen in our lives that forever change us...but it is up to you to decide if you will change for the better or the worse....I hope and pray that one day...(like me) you will be able to look back and say to yourself..."wow..that was a really rough time in my life....and what he did to me was horrible....but I am so much better today..."...because you can have that...you just have to do the work to get it...and by the way...I went to college after my divorce...and I royally "suck" at math...LOL...but I have a wonderful life and "one day" you will have a wonderful life too...also...I thought that surely God had abandoned me...that he didn't hear my cries...but he heard them and he walked through it with me....I am praying that God grant you peace during this difficult time...


You are very right. I often think I should buy the woman involved in my first divorce a coke because she did me a favor!


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## Fair Light (Oct 13, 2010)

I'll take you one further Tambo...I look back at her and actually feel sorry for her...because he fed her a pack of lies too...but I don't think I am "too sorry"...LOL..I am not quite to that level of healing yet...


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## tambo (Mar 28, 2003)

Fair Light said:


> I'll take you one further Tambo...I look back at her and actually feel sorry for her...because he fed her a pack of lies too...but I don't think I am "too sorry"...LOL..I am not quite to that level of healing yet...


This maybe terrible to say but I don't feel sorry for her at all. She deserves everything she's got, gets and more. 

I left with nothing and I can honestly say everything I have I got by working hard by myself. It wasn't easy and I did it without a college education. Part of the time I made good to me money and other times I haven't. I'm not bragging at all I didn't have any other choice but to do it. A person can do anything they want/have to do if they are determined enough.


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## mickm (Jul 23, 2010)

My ex left me for a woman, and that woman asked to be my facebook friend, after my ex left her! 

I didnt feel like being friends! I dont hold any animosity towards her, or my ex, really.

Life goes on.......


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## littlejoe (Jan 17, 2007)

Hey gal! Hold your head up and be proud of your accomplishments! I've read enough of your posts to know you're a standup person. You really do have a lot to be thankful for!!!!!

I've never studied algebra or calculus. Simple math was always easy for me. Slopes are translated into grades (%) with what I'm doing presently (dirt, pipeline work). It's a fairly simple equation, although it's not in my head at the moment. And simple is my middle name! I'm probably way behind in what you're searching for though? Although I've got ideas, I can't seem to make water run uphill? Maybe that will help mentally? lol!

mick, I will commend you on this post. I've got crosways with you on other subjects.

I feel it is pretty truthful however! I didn't like myself for a time... wasn't that life was unfair... just that I didn't understand it. Until I realized how much it taught me... so much more than what I seeked at that present time. It WILL shape you...just use it to your advantage! ALL OF IT!

You are a strong person, and an admirable person, Laura from wherever and whenever! Use all of what you were gifted with, as you should!!!!



mickm said:


> Ok i will be the jerk, and i will repeat my previous advice, you will become happy, when you choose to become happy.
> 
> Math sucks. I know what i need to know, and avoid the rest. its like trying to pound a nail in to a chunk of rubber, trying to teach me math.
> -
> ...


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## whiskeylivewire (May 27, 2009)

Laura, my friend, keep going. I am horrible at algebra, totally horrible. I think it is ridiculous that we have to take it to get a degree if our degree has nothing to do with it. Stay strong, don't let one class bring you down! You are not stupid...you are listening to Satan at the moment and ya need to stop doing that.


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## jwal10 (Jun 5, 2010)

Do not let him win!!!!!!! Sometimes you have to stop praying for what you want so you can hear what God is telling you. When we tell people we believe in God and trust in him, we have to do that when we get to the low spots in our life. 

A little about me. I have followed you here for a while. 

I had a bad accident. I was still dealing with a bad, bad accident. many surgeries and not getting better. Then the second one. It got so bad I couldn't get my head off the pillow, Drs couldn't figure out what was really wrong. I got shingles, bad, the second time (didn't know you could). I layed in bed praying for some relief, finally it got so bad I gave up, GAVE UP. You know what happens when you really give up. You hear silence, DEAD silence. You hear your body function, you hear God. I got out of bed, cradling my noggin and went to the hospital. Told a good friend, doctor of mine, to do something. You know what he did. He prayed with me, asked God to help him help me. He did tests and prayed, the problem showed up. Had surgery and physical therapy. It was not easy, 3 years with a halo, 2 laminectamies in 2 years and It was fixed. A miracle? I don't know. I put it all in Gods hands and I can't complain. I am 57, partial loss of my left side from waist up BUT I will take what I have and move on, praising God everyday for all I have. Not a lot but all I need and want. 

I pray you find what you need and want. But please listen, you know what is best, you just have to pray, then listen and move forward, IN HIS NAME.

....James


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

Sweet are the uses of adversity,
Which like the toad, ugly and venomous,
Wears yet a precious jewel in his head;
And this our life, exempt from public haunt,
Finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks,
Sermons in stones, and good in every thing. -- Shakespeare


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

I always thought I sucked at math, I suffered Math Trauma. I got kicked out of algebra in high school. What I suck at is abstract math. I am competent with practical application math.

3 times in my life I've been offered full ride scholarships and grants, but they were for full time students only. The idea of having to pass calculus for a degree was daunting. When the window of opportunity was closing the second time, I found out waivers were being given for math credits for degrees that didn't use math.

This last time was while going through the divorce and still under incredible stress. I was assured I could be taught math. A health crisis caused me to withdraw my college enrollment.

I used the time to get healthy, get single, set boundaries and rid my life of sucky people, and rid my life of stress. I used the time to become who I am supposed to be. I am a happy secure person who is reasonably good at math! Without stress I can Math Zone to solve number puzzles for practical applications in life.

What I am not is a college student. I've changed a lot since acing tests in high school. I'm getting free classes and certifications through the fire department. Even though it's updated stuff I learned at the fire academy decades ago where I aced the tests, another really smart woman and I are blown away how hard and confusing these tests are. We are not in Student Zone like the high school boys. We are slow and diligent and confused, but pulling good scores.

The joint district class the other night was on structure entry and mostly for the newbie testosterone driven kids. New twist, it involves MATH! Okay, our rural department already knows about water conservation, our hydrants are miles apart. We don't do much structure entry, they're usually fully engulfed by time we get there. We save garages. 

Some of us Old Folks kept a straight face, most of us couldn't. Who's gonna do the math so we know the fire is out? That's gonna melt my calculator. An old fire chief said, "In that situation, Pray n' Spray." 

We aren't stupid people, we aren't failures in life, and we don't necessarily suck at math. We suck at change and we suck at impractical convoluted math applications that are beyond abstract and entering bizarre. 

My Fire Buds are heroes and successful people. Even they can't do math while taking charge of stress events.


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## fordy (Sep 13, 2003)

Laura Zone 5 said:


> I think He is tone deaf to my voice......I really do.
> I can't take anymore.


...............You're allowing your problem with "Slope" to disparage all the other accomplishments you've made so far ! This is NOT , and Should NOT , be the end of your quest in seeking a college degree , nor does it mean you lack any analytical ability relative to mathematical solutions . 
................How thick has your skin become in dealing with Ah's who visit obnoxious verbage on you during your years as a Waitress ? You didn't allow them to keep you from showing UP at work and earning a living , so why would would you allow "slope" too completely derail your goal of getting a degree? I'm thinking your backbone is much stronger than you realize , and it's the emotions that you have allowed to defeat you , you're just stressed out and you'll recover and continue on with your academic journey , slope be ----ed ! , fordy:smack


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## CajunSunshine (Apr 24, 2007)

What Fordy said is pretty much what I would have said if he hadn't beat me to it...he took the words right out of my mouth.

I have had so much trouble with math, I think I could rightly be called a Math Retard...or maybe my brain is damaged in the areas involved with numbers. It used to be a serious handicap in school. When I went to college, I was many years older than my classmates and feeling like a complete idiot because I could not keep up in the math class. It didn't help matters any that I am also profoundly hearing impaired, even with the help of strong hearing aids. At one of my lowest points I cursed myself for enrolling in college. What in the world did I think I was doing? At the time I was the oldest student in the entire university...and feeling like an absolute dummy, next to all the bright and young students...Eventually I got tired of fussing at myself, and thought how much worse I would feel if I gave it all up... So I just dropped only the math class. Then I searched in libraries, thrift stores, etc for all the grade school math textbooks that I could find from the 4th grade on up. Every chance I got, I studied them...and basically started from the beginning. Slowly the light got brighter and brighter and my confidence grew. It took some time, but eventually I was able to retake the dropped class and keep up a decent grade.

So can you.

Do not become discouraged by short term failures as you reach for long term goals. 

And, don't forget what Thomas A. Edison said, "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."


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## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

LZ5 - If it makes you feel any better at all, I have visited many people over the last several months to do some very simple and some not so simple computer work at their homes. ALL were college grads, MOST had more than one four year degree, two were Phd's, several were Master's holders. They all, by their *own* proclamation, are "computer stupid". Here are some of their professions (WHICH THEY EXCEL AT):

Mathematics Professor @ a TX University
Nationally recognized Geologist
Professor of Information Technology (that's right) @ a TX University
A whole building of oil tycoons
A large multimillion dollar real estate broker

What you can do and what you cannot do is all in your head. Literally. I don't have a college degree. I started but never finished. At the time I was running a business, raising my daughter and then came up with some serious health issues (like immediate surgery or die type of issues). Never went back. Do I regret it? Sometimes, but not usually.

I couldn't do Algebra either in school. But I can do it in the field when it doesn't appear to be algebra LOL

I will tell you some of the things I tell my clients. "You have your thing, I have mine. You shouldn't be downing yourself about being "computer stupid", I can't read that seismic chart on the wall, but you can. I guess that means I'm "graph stupid or is it oil stupid?". "I've no idea how to leverage pretend money and flip a 3.5 million dollar piece of real estate, I'd be afraid to try, but you can....just because you don't know how to import or export your browser favorites does not mean you are stupid, it means it's not your job."

Never feel bad about knowing what your limits are. Instead, figure out how to leverage what you DO know to get through, around, over or under them. That's all.

Don't let your mind set your limits. I was "just a waitress" for quite a while. Now, even without any degree or other professional certifications I will be announced as Technical Director for a 4 state firm. Go figure  Do what you gotta do...get down when you have to, I do...and then get back on that horse and ride.


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## Fair Light (Oct 13, 2010)

Remember... The greatest revenge is success...


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## pamda (Oct 14, 2004)

Laura, Stop! Listen to yourself...if someone you love was saying all that you are saying about themselves, what would you say to them? LOL, right, now say it to yourself. You are not stupid, dumb or hopeless, you are just facing something new and unexpected. It's scary,it sucks and it gets better. I double-dog hate math. Got out of high school with only 9th grade credits and no more than basic math, because aparently the teachers though I was to stupid to do more. And thenI got ajob writing keno in casinos in Nevada. Back in the day when youwrote them, figured them out and payed them by hand. For those who don't know, a combination ticken can payout more ways that a cat has whiskers...I was so bad I almost lost that job...but...a very patient boss finally got it through my head....and I became the night time keno boss, the daytime fill in boss and floated where they needed me, only time until medical school I ever needed algebra. I also passed all math classes there top of class. 

All that to say, you need to step back, look at it as a big picture and start again. It's not that you are stupid, it's something new and your inner discussions with yourself are not very supportive so change the voice for yourself...


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

http://www.homesteadingtoday.com/ge...amilies/483081-silver-lining-photo-heavy.html

When it rains, it pours.
(insert maniacal laugh)

I know what set me off....I don't know how to control it. 
I need to talk to someone, but I do not want an 'official record'......

Somethings up.
It is one thing on another....either meant to break me, or to strengthen me for something else.
I do feel like I am teetering on the edge.

I did not go to class last week. I could not breathe. 
I totally snapped on the oldest child yesterday....It's like Mt. St. Helen's. 
Before she blew her top, she began to swell. Little holes vents tiny bits of her fury. 
Then one day........BLAMO......she blew her top.

So today, I have more basement clean up, I have to sit down make a menu and grocery list, I have home work, I have Bible Study home work, I have seeds to plant. (cukes, pickle cukes, cantalope, watermelon, squash, zucchini, etc..)

Desperately trying to be normal.

Thank you all, so much.


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## willow_girl (Dec 7, 2002)

> I need to talk to someone, but I do not want an 'official record'......


Mental health always has been a favorite DIY project of mine, but there are times when it really does pay to call in a professional ...


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## Mooselover (May 4, 2009)

i went back to college at 28. i scored so bad on the math part of the 'entrance' exam, i had to take the ABE class. went into algebra and had to get a tutor, videos, etc (no internet back then). i truly struggled because i just couldn't apply it to anything in 'real life'. i realized that test-anxiety was my worst enemy and getting a tutor was the smartest thing i ever did. apparently something snapped for me. i left the 2 yr college and went on to a 4 yr private college. i ended up with a 3.8 in algebra I&II. if i can do it...YOU can. i barely graduated high school due to my math scores. DO NOT give up!!! many moose-hugs and prayers


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## pamda (Oct 14, 2004)

I did not go to class last week. I could not breathe. 
I totally snapped on the oldest child yesterday....It's like Mt. St. Helen's. 
Before she blew her top, she began to swell. Little holes vents tiny bits of her fury. 
Then one day........BLAMO......she blew her top.

Desperately trying to be normal.

QUOTE]


I have heard this same thing recently, from my Dear Mom, my dad passed away unexpectedly in November. He left my mom in dire straights. No insurance, massive bills..many she knew nothing about. 58 1/2 years of being told, sign this, do that, I'd tell you but you won't understand.. So on and on. She says sometimes as we work through the complexities of death, bills, bankruptcy and social security, she says once in a while we need to just do stuff and stop talking because her head is swelling and feels like it will explode. Top it off with never being alone her whole life and somethings gonna blow. 

It's the same with you. So many new things, so much new info going in, mostly not what you want to hear do, or deal with....somethings gonna blow. Just tell you dear child you are sorry, hug her and go in. And be kind to you. Maybe stop the classes for now, and revisit later, when things are not so new.

By the way, normal is highly over rated.....


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## tambo (Mar 28, 2003)




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