# It's time...



## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

I think I am finally ready to tell my family and friends about my weight loss surgery. Only a few know, as I do not live close to my family anymore. I been nervous to say anything because of my parents. I didn't want them to ruin it for me. My family are not the supportive type. I feel I am finally in a good place and feeling confident. I have been working my rear off every day with workouts and eating healthy. Should I keep it to myself?


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## Hiro (Feb 14, 2016)

Oregon1986 said:


> I think I am finally ready to tell my family and friends about my weight loss surgery. Only a few know, as I do not live close to my family anymore. I been nervous to say anything because of my parents. I didn't want them to ruin it for me. My family are not the supportive type. I feel I am finally in a good place and feeling confident. I have been working my rear off every day with workouts and eating healthy. Should I keep it to myself?
> View attachment 104962


Shout it from the rooftops, sister.


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## Kiamichi Kid (Apr 9, 2009)

Oregon1986 said:


> I think I am finally ready to tell my family and friends about my weight loss surgery. Only a few know, as I do not live close to my family anymore. I been nervous to say anything because of my parents. I didn't want them to ruin it for me. My family are not the supportive type. I feel I am finally in a good place and feeling confident. I have been working my rear off every day with workouts and eating healthy. Should I keep it to myself?
> View attachment 104962


Do what makes YOU Happy!


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## kinnb (Oct 23, 2011)

Absolutely do YOU, and too bad for the rest of them! 

Peace,
Kyrie, Tao Blue SD AKC CGC CGCA CGCU TKN PAT, Deja Blue SD AKC CGC CGCU TKN PAT


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## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

Hiro said:


> Shout it from the rooftops, sister.


Thank you


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## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

Kiamichi Kid said:


> Do what makes YOU Happy!


What if I don't know what that is? Lol


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## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

kinnb said:


> Absolutely do YOU, and too bad for the rest of them!
> 
> Peace,
> Kyrie, Tao Blue SD AKC CGC CGCA CGCU TKN PAT, Deja Blue SD AKC CGC CGCU TKN PAT


Thank you. I keep telling myself it don't matter what anyone else thinks.


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## Amanda_W (Jul 5, 2017)

You did it and you should feel good about telling them. Nothing they say should diminish what you've accomplished and where you are today. Keep on rolling and being the awesome person you are!


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## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

Amanda_W said:


> You did it and you should feel good about telling them. Nothing they say should diminish what you've accomplished and where you are today. Keep on rolling and being the awesome person you are!


Thank you so much


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## muleskinner2 (Oct 7, 2007)

Oregon1986 said:


> What if I don't know what that is? Lol


Then you are normal.


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## nchobbyfarm (Apr 10, 2011)

@Oregon1986 Bravo to your dedication to you.

@muleskinner2 is correct in his post.


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## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

nchobbyfarm said:


> @Oregon1986 Bravo to your dedication to you.
> 
> @muleskinner2 is correct in his post.


Thank you


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## Kiamichi Kid (Apr 9, 2009)

Oregon1986 said:


> What if I don't know what that is? Lol


Deep down inside…You know…


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## Danaus29 (Sep 12, 2005)

I think it depends on your state of mind. If you feel you are strong enough to put up with their comments then share your joy. If you aren't ready to deal with toxic negativity from your family, keep it to yourself. Put some money aside to buy a dazzling outfit and wait for the next get-together to show off the new you.

I'm sorry they won't be happy for you. I know people for whom weight loss surgery was unsuccessful which makes me very sad for them. I am happy for you that this has worked. If you are happy in your skin then your opinion is the only opinion that matters.


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## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

Kiamichi Kid said:


> Deep down inside…You know…


You're right I do


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## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

Danaus29 said:


> I think it depends on your state of mind. If you feel you are strong enough to put up with their comments then share your joy. If you aren't ready to deal with toxic negativity from your family, keep it to yourself. Put some money aside to buy a dazzling outfit and wait for the next get-together to show off the new you.
> 
> I'm sorry they won't be happy for you. I know people for whom weight loss surgery was unsuccessful which makes me very sad for them. I am happy for you that this has worked. If you are happy in your skin then your opinion is the only opinion that matters.


I love the idea of a big reveal


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## doc- (Jun 26, 2015)

Oregon1986 said:


> Should I keep it to myself?


Why would anybody care?...and why would you care, especially if you never see them?



Oregon1986 said:


> What if I don't know what that is? Lol


Thren you'rer not paying attention.



Kiamichi Kid said:


> Deep down inside…You know…


I did a serious, honest self evaluation...I came to realize that way down deep, I'm really very shallow.


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## GTX63 (Dec 13, 2016)

Oregon1986 said:


> I think I am finally ready to tell my family and friends about my weight loss surgery. Only a few know, as I do not live close to my family anymore. I been nervous to say anything because of my parents. I didn't want them to ruin it for me. My family are not the supportive type. I feel I am finally in a good place and feeling confident. I have been working my rear off every day with workouts and eating healthy. Should I keep it to myself?


If you have it flaunt it.


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## Danaus29 (Sep 12, 2005)

Just don't do what my cousin did. She had the surgery and lost the weight. But she couldn't stop eating as much junk food as she could hold. She kept forcing food down and succeeded in stretching her stomach back to it's pre-surgery size. She is a continual grazer who thought nothing of setting and eating a whole bag of chips then moving on to cupcakes or candy. She never learned to change her eating habits. Unfortunately she gained all the weight back in a few years.

The habit of eating healthy and keeping active is very hard to establish. It is so easy to go back to the old ways if you don't keep pushing to stay on track. You have every right to be proud of yourself for breaking your bad habits and taking care of your body. Don't listen to negative comments. Know that you have made a huge change in your life and you are more important than they want you to believe. You know how much better you feel, how much easier you can breathe and how much better you look when you see yourself in the mirror. You did this for *YOU*! Any one who is negative about your new body can go suck a lemon.


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## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

Danaus29 said:


> Just don't do what my cousin did. She had the surgery and lost the weight. But she couldn't stop eating as much junk food as she could hold. She kept forcing food down and succeeded in stretching her stomach back to it's pre-surgery size. She is a continual grazer who thought nothing of setting and eating a whole bag of chips then moving on to cupcakes or candy. She never learned to change her eating habits. Unfortunately she gained all the weight back in a few years.
> 
> The habit of eating healthy and keeping active is very hard to establish. It is so easy to go back to the old ways if you don't keep pushing to stay on track. You have every right to be proud of yourself for breaking your bad habits and taking care of your body. Don't listen to negative comments. Know that you have made a huge change in your life and you are more important than they want you to believe. You know how much better you feel, how much easier you can breathe and how much better you look when you see yourself in the mirror. You did this for *YOU*! Any one who is negative about your new body can go suck a lemon.


Sadly I've seen a lot of people get this surgery and not change their ways and ruined it. Junk food of any kind is not in my diet anymore. Months before surgery I cut the pop addiction and that will never come back. It is a daily choice to be better. I meet with a dietitian once a month which really is helping.


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## Snowfan (Nov 6, 2011)

Awesome. You don't need anyone's permission or approval.


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## wdcutrsdaughter (Dec 9, 2012)

Okay, I am going to say the opposite of what others said.

Don't tell them.
If you think they are going to react poorly, why put yourself through that? Why do they need to know?
It can be your secret and just keep on feeling good about yourself!
Personally, I wouldn't want to trigger others to be mean to me.

I think it is great that you put yourself first and were able to have this surgery at a time when many are afraid to have surgery or even be in a hospital. I don't even want to visit people in the hospital right now. You are very brave. Good for you


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## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

I went ahead and bit the bullet and surprisingly everyone was extremely supportive. Even my mother which I was completely shocked. I have two people who reached out wanting info on how to pursue having it done. Thank you everyone for your opinions.


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## HomeCreek (Dec 30, 2021)

The hardest part is dealing with friends and family. I lost almost 150 lbs and instead of "great job" people were all "so you took the easy way out" (if they think this is easy...theyre sadly mistaken. Its been the hardest thing Ive ever done) or "well put the fork down save some money" and then after weight loss "you think you should be eating that? youll get fat again"

Truth is...negative and jealous people..usually one and the same...are always going to be negative and or jealous. You just have to create the mindset of it made or makes or will make you happy and their approval and opinions are not required requested nor considered. 

I did it for me. My wife. My children. My grandchildren. But mainly...for me. That sounds selfish. But it is really for you above all others and the fact it positively affects them is just a bonus. 

Most overweight people are overweight because they seek comfort in food for comfort they are not usually getting from others like they should. Like negative friends and family. So it goes hand in hand theyll still be the same old negative people they were that caused you to seek comfort etc in food in the first place. 

I was going to keep my surgery etc on the down low. But knowing people like I do the first thing going around would be 

"Man! have you seen Dave? Dudes lost like 150 lbs. I bet hes on drugs" and similar comments

I am thankful I was open about my surgery. Several people sat back and watched me and even a couple of negative ones have now gotten it themselves. Outside of my children and grandchildren my proudest achievement is that I had a few others look and me and decide to give it a try themselves. And they got their lives and health back. Im extremely proud of that. For ever negative person there is someone out there you can be the inspiration for and it could save their lives

Be proud. Be happy. And be tough and dont take any negativity out of anyone. Shut them down short and sweet and dont let it get started. Theyll adjust or move on


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## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

HomeCreek said:


> The hardest part is dealing with friends and family. I lost almost 150 lbs and instead of "great job" people were all "so you took the easy way out" (if they think this is easy...theyre sadly mistaken. Its been the hardest thing Ive ever done) or "well put the fork down save some money" and then after weight loss "you think you should be eating that? youll get fat again"
> 
> Truth is...negative and jealous people..usually one and the same...are always going to be negative and or jealous. You just have to create the mindset of it made or makes or will make you happy and their approval and opinions are not required requested nor considered.
> 
> ...


Thank you for the advice. Honestly I think I was really worried about people saying I took the easy way out. You are right this is not easy by any means. The mental aspect is the hardest. I too did it for me,nobody else. I'm ok with being selfish. I struggled for so many years after so many stomach surgeries for one reason or another and no matter what I did the weight wouldn't come off. My dr suggested this surgery because other than my weight, I was perfectly healthy. He could see how hard it was on me being as active as I was but so heavy. I am so grateful he made this happen.


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## Terri (May 10, 2002)

As an RN I can tell you that surgery s NEVER the "easy way out"! 

As Ann Landers used to say: 20 lashes with a wet noodle for all of them. 

From me I say: they seem very jealous. Are some of them heavy as well?


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## alida (Feb 8, 2015)

I think you should be proud of yourself @Oregon1986 . I've had friends who had the surgery and it is indeed hard to make those changes before and after. I see that you told your family and they are all happy for you which is great. 

I've found this statement "I'm very happy with my decision" can be very effective when dealing with people who will be dismissive or critical and don't stop.


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## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

Terri said:


> As an RN I can tell you that surgery s NEVER the "easy way out"!
> 
> As Ann Landers used to say: 20 lashes with a wet noodle for all of them.
> No they are thin,that's why I was always the odd one out in my family. They are thin but so far from healthy.
> From me I say: they seem very jealous. Are some of them heavy as well?


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## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

alida said:


> I think you should be proud of yourself @Oregon1986 . I've had friends who had the surgery and it is indeed hard to make those changes before and after. I see that you told your family and they are all happy for you which is great.
> 
> I've found this statement "I'm very happy with my decision" can be very effective when dealing with people who will be dismissive or critical and don't stop.


Thank you. I just keep telling myself I did this for me,not them.


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## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

Terri said:


> As an RN I can tell you that surgery s NEVER the "easy way out"!
> 
> As Ann Landers used to say: 20 lashes with a wet noodle for all of them.
> 
> From me I say: they seem very jealous. Are some of them heavy as well?


Not sure why it didn't post right but no they are all thin. Thin but very unhealthy.


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## Cornhusker (Mar 20, 2003)

What type of surgery did you have?


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## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

Cornhusker said:


> What type of surgery did you have?


Gastric sleeve. They removed 90% of my stomach


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## Pony (Jan 6, 2003)

wdcutrsdaughter said:


> Okay, I am going to say the opposite of what others said.
> 
> Don't tell them.
> If you think they are going to react poorly, why put yourself through that? Why do they need to know?
> ...


This ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ All of this.

But since I now read that you already told them, well, good on you. It must have been refreshing to experience that reaction from them.


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## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

Pony said:


> This ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ All of this.
> 
> But since I now read that you already told them, well, good on you. It must have been refreshing to experience that reaction from them.


Yes it was.


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## Danaus29 (Sep 12, 2005)

Chosing surgery is NEVER the easy way out! Some people cannot understand how difficult it is to make the decision to have your digestive system altered forever.


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## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

Danaus29 said:


> Chosing surgery is NEVER the easy way out! Some people cannot understand how difficult it is to make the decision to have your digestive system altered forever.


Most people also don't understand it isn't just a physical change but also a mental and emotional


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## Danaus29 (Sep 12, 2005)

I am a firm believer in requiring counseling and dietary changes before undergoing "metabolic" surgery. Especially for people who eat for emotional reasons. People who eat for emotional reasons will have a difficult time adjusting to not being able to eat as much as they used to.


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## wdcutrsdaughter (Dec 9, 2012)

Sounds like you followed your heart and intuition in both circumstances - getting it done and then sharing about it - and both went well. Many cheers for following your intuition and it working out well for you. 
I've had to cut out eating some things and it is hard work - and you are right - totally emotional! Very hard to avoid eating what you (think) you like to eat. Ultimately when it makes us sick (or heavy) it's not good anyway. 

Good for you Oregon  it's really nice to hear a story of triumph despite the chaos of everything else going on in the world.


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## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

Danaus29 said:


> I am a firm believer in requiring counseling and dietary changes before undergoing "metabolic" surgery. Especially for people who eat for emotional reasons. People who eat for emotional reasons will have a difficult time adjusting to not being able to eat as much as they used to.


I agree. My insurance required 6 months of nutrition classes and I had to pass a psychiatric evaluation. I am 2 months post op and still see a nutritionist once a month.


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## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

wdcutrsdaughter said:


> Sounds like you followed your heart and intuition in both circumstances - getting it done and then sharing about it - and both went well. Many cheers for following your intuition and it working out well for you.
> I've had to cut out eating some things and it is hard work - and you are right - totally emotional! Very hard to avoid eating what you (think) you like to eat. Ultimately when it makes us sick (or heavy) it's not good anyway.
> 
> Good for you Oregon  it's really nice to hear a story of triumph despite the chaos of everything else going on in the world.


Thank you. I decided it was time to be happy.


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## Danaus29 (Sep 12, 2005)

Oregon1986 said:


> I agree. My insurance required 6 months of nutrition classes and I had to pass a psychiatric evaluation. I am 2 months post op and still see a nutritionist once a month.


That sure doesn't sound like an easy way out.


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## Amanda_W (Jul 5, 2017)

Oregon1986 said:


> Thank you. I decided it was time to be happy.


Good for you! A truly terrific accomplishment and I admire your dedication to it. Life changing and done for all the right reasons.


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## Hossplay (Jul 21, 2012)

Oregon1986 said:


> I think I am finally ready to tell my family and friends about my weight loss surgery. Only a few know, as I do not live close to my family anymore. I been nervous to say anything because of my parents. I didn't want them to ruin it for me. My family are not the supportive type. I feel I am finally in a good place and feeling confident. I have been working my rear off every day with workouts and eating healthy. Should I keep it to myself?
> View attachment 104962


Why don't you just send them a picture? You have the right to keep some things personal, even from family. Yow are a beautiful young woman. They should be proud of you as you should be of yourself.


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## B&L Chicken Ranch and Spa (Jan 4, 2019)

Good luck to you and your good health!

I bet you feel so much better.

I don't know you, but I am proud of you. Keep it up! (oh, and I bet the moment they see you, they will notice 😀 )


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## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

B&L Chicken Ranch and Spa said:


> Good luck to you and your good health!
> 
> I bet you feel so much better.
> 
> I don't know you, but I am proud of you. Keep it up! (oh, and I bet the moment they see you, they will notice 😀 )


Thank you! I do feel so much better. I finally have the energy to live the life I always wanted.


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## Danaus29 (Sep 12, 2005)

Oregon1986 said:


> Thank you! I do feel so much better. I finally have the energy to live the life I always wanted.


And *THAT* is the only opinion that matters!


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