# Men it's your turn



## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Dustyroad got me to thinking, women on ST are always telling us their wants and needs and must haves in what they are looking for in a relationship.

But we dont hear from too many men. So why dont you let us wimens hear you now and we or at least I promise to listen.


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## susieneddy (Sep 2, 2011)

I (Eddy) posted in that other thread you started


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Same here.

I have no idea what I want and need anymore. I just want it to work that is all. Regardless of the micro-details and the over all grand schemes it just has to work, which is something I am yet to experience regardless of my needs and wants.


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## dustyroad (Nov 13, 2013)

In the first half of life there is very few young men looking for character in a woman. In the second half of life, most people are looking for character. Physical stuff without character will always make you sad eventually. Something that lasts will always be rooted in character but you don't truly know about character until something really unpleasant comes along. If she digs in and works on side, she's worth her weight in gold. Too often she just goes shopping!


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

two people can be oozing character and have no chemistry. The recipe for success is locked away in the bowels of eternal time. Got the key?


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## dustyroad (Nov 13, 2013)

Chemistry is good but if that's all there is you got a few weeks of horizontal mombo followed by a whole bunch of anger. You can rent that.
Look for character and chemistry.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Sounds like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.


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## dustyroad (Nov 13, 2013)

I've met women like this so I know they exist but the guys they are with are very good to them.


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## biggkidd (Aug 16, 2012)

HA you gotta be kidding! 

How should I know what I want? She hasn't told me yet. lol 

Honestly though don't have much idea. Unlike you ladies I doubt men put much thought into what they want. I don't anyhow.. I guess I may figure it out when she finds me. Of course this would work much better if I were looking but I'm not. I certainly wouldn't refuse a relationship at this time but that's different than looking for one.
I am just happy and content with things as they are. Although my life is fairly full with my girls 8 & 13 a full time job either at actual paying work or here on the 36 acres we call home. This time of the year most of my work is here at home which helps make up for the spring, summer, fall when paying work keeps me to busy to do much here. One of the things I remember my ex complaining most about was that I was always working on something or reading.

Let me think about it for I bit and see what I come up with.

Larry


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

oh I think we can like shopping and still be worth our weight in gold at least that's what I always heard from my love. I have been shopping from 8am until around 1pm.today.(I make no bones about the fact that I like shopping) I probably got 2 days work in since then(2 days for some people) Jmo. Moo. ~Georgia.


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## copperkid3 (Mar 18, 2005)

Why should we open up and expose ourselves?

It's what got me into trouble in the first place!

Won't ever make that mistake again. . .

Besides, she was more interested

in what was in my bank account 

than what was in my heart.


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## dustyroad (Nov 13, 2013)

You don't have to, but if the real thing is a priority for you, you will have to find a safe place and way to come out from under the bed. Kind of lonely under there isn't it!


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

susieneddy said:


> I (Eddy) posted in that thread other thread you started


And aren't you married? Not that I am discounting your opinion, but I think some of the ladies might like to know what the single mens thoughts are. If I am wrong please accept my apologies.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

I for one, hate shopping unless its the feed store. But I am really digging the honesty and open commincation this thread is going. Keep it up men


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## Nathan (Jun 8, 2006)

Im looking a woman that will accept me as I am,conservative,frugal,and decent looking(not perfect) and looking for romance.Im willing to meet her halfway. Preferably a country girl.I guess thats why Im dating


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## homefire2007 (Sep 21, 2007)

I can't tell you what men want. But I can make a few observations. My oldest son (23) is in love for the first time. I've seen him struggle to open up and be vulnerable. I've seen him in protective mode. I've seen him on his fiery white steed. I haven't met the young lady in question yet. But I love her sight unseen. He feels valued and respected. It's pretty neat to see him speak of her so tenderly. He proudly tells me she is a master gardener, a graduate of cooking school and cans some awesome green tomato chutney. She encourages him in his dreams yet accepts him just as he is. They survived their first break up, I think it lasted 48 hours.

He is not a rich man money wise, he is rich in spirit. Are any of us (man or woman) that different? It has been an education for me and I love seeing the man he is becoming. 

We must all beware of becoming bitter or cynical, it is an exercise in self-indulgence.


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## MoonRiver (Sep 2, 2007)

Long legs and beautiful hair get my attention, but intelligence is what turns me on. Also has to be independent, or maybe that's not dependent. 

Sarcasm is good, but slapstick isn't. Can find adventure in every day life. Willing to take risks. Always learning new things. And most importantly, loves the beach.


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## dustyroad (Nov 13, 2013)

Young love is wonderful. I wish him well.


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## Twp.Tom (Dec 29, 2010)

Acceptance of who we are is Huge. I don't want to change a whole lot(although there is always room for improvement), and I don't want to change her.Just be yourself*,that is what makes everyone so special-in their own way. Admitting when we are wrong is really big too. I am wrong on a regular basis,and if I don't recognize it, I am glad if some one points it out. Nothing wrong with making mistakes-it's one of the ways we learn. Honesty,Fidelity,and Kindness, are givens,if you can't be HFK,Good Luck in the real world.


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

Well,,,uh,,,,I guess,,Boobs are nice,,,,and,,,,,,Ummm,,Let me think on it some more,,,,,,,


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

I'll try to use small words, promise. First, going into details like body type, figure, and hair color is, mostly, only for when looking at eye candy. Physical attributes go both ways. I know that, at almost 56 yrs old, I don't bring the same level of looks to the party as I did at...40, let's say. No matter what I'd like to see in a woman who is near my age, it's unrealistic and unfair to expect her to look 16 yrs younger than she is. And even worse to reject her because of it.

Another reason is, any woman who _feels_ confident and beautiful is going to show it. Doesn't matter that I might prefer brunettes or redheads over blondes. Doesn't matter if she's not well appointed upstairs. Or if she's a might chunkier than she was at 30-35. When she feels pretty she's sending out a kind of signal. Call it a magnetism or heck, sexy waves, IDK. But, men know she's there. You can bet your --- on that!

That said, I like brunettes with a light complexion and eyes I can drown in, the most. But I like redheads too. And a Latina with a dark complexion ain't too shabby neither. I like a build that's slimmer than I do a heavier build, but moderately well endowed. Long hair is more attractive to me than short. But Janine Turner was pretty fine on Northern Exposure. It would be better if she had green eyes that could reveal a mischievous thought or express heartfelt compassion, but see drowning above. Full lips on a small mouth that is quick with a smile, but could melt me with her pout would probably lock me down. Yet, Julia Roberts is one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. 

But mostly, I like a woman who exudes a quiet confidence. One that says she has experienced life, battled it on her own terms and won. She knows it, but she doesn't flaunt it. Doesn't have to, you know? She's demure, mature, and sure of what she likes. And, how best to share that with me. She's gotta be smart but not obnoxious about it. She's gotta love to laugh. See these are all personality traits now. And those above, without these here, just make half a woman.


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

Oh,, oh,,and..I like pony tails,,,dimples,,smiles,,,grins,,,no visible boogers,,,no audible farting,,,,Ummm,,,,(To be continued.....)(Still Think'ng)


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## biggkidd (Aug 16, 2012)

Guess Its time to take a stab at this. Harder than I thought it would be. 

Physical first: 5'2" - 5'8" weight proportionate. I've always liked american beauties so blond hair & brown eyes or brown hair & blue eyes red heads can be very attractive too especially with green eyes. Working your way down No man made extras! I like natural not bigger is better. Oh yeah a nice bottom is a + as are shapely legs. :thumb: Now on to the important stuff. She has got to be willing to work or fight for the things she wants / believes in. All things in moderation even bad habits. Smoker / drinker is ok I do both. But not a DRUNK. Family First is a must, so many people I see now are me firsters, no thanks. Someone who has original thoughts would be nice. A decent cook to share the chores with would be good too. 

Someone who values silence as well as good conversation. I'm not a big talker. 

I guess most important a woman who will walk beside me not one who will stand behind me.

EDIT to add 30 - 40 years old give or take

Larry


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

I swore I wouldn't respond to this thread, but; I really don't have much in common with someone who hasn't experienced great tragedy in their life and come through it a better and awakened person. I find bitterness very ugly. Weak or strong is the same to me. My last girlfriend was a breast cancer survivor and her scars were beautiful. Sometimes she was amazingly strong, lots of times not, like me. Lots of scars can't be seen with the eyes, but they too are beautiful. Hmm the ability to be amazed at a new day, to be brought to tears by the beauty of the everyday normal life, diamonds on black velvet, to laugh like a child, I mean really laugh. A real smile, bone cracking hugs and loud kisses. Someone who smacks their lips when they eat, literally and figuratively, and enjoys eating with their fingers, slurps soup, and shares. Someone who could give a ---- if they have pennies or pounds. Someone who values a plum just ripe enough to fall into you hand, if your lucky enough to catch it.

Oh!, and someone who cries as fast and as easily as they laugh :sob::rotfl:


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## littlejoe (Jan 17, 2007)

copperkid3 said:


> Why should we open up and expose ourselves?
> 
> It's what got me into trouble in the first place!
> 
> ...


Funny that a lot of them are as you say. I suppose they expect a man to take care of them, and one way they are taken care of is having money to spend. Some expect you to build a new house for them. Some expect big rings on their finger. Hmmm, are they offering more and greater love in return?

Not all are like that, but it seems most are looking at you for what you can do for them.

I would never say they aren't worth it, but there is gonna have to be a helluva lot more sharing in everything, than just making requests and expecting them to be fulfilled by me!


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## littlejoe (Jan 17, 2007)

Fowler said:


> Dustyroad got me to thinking, women on ST are always telling us their wants and needs and must haves in what they are looking for in a relationship.
> 
> But we dont hear from too many men. So why dont you let us wimens hear you now and we or at least I promise to listen.


Don't know for sure what I seek, just hope I realize it when I find it.


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## RubyRed (Sep 24, 2011)

vicker said:


> I swore I wouldn't respond to this thread, but; I really don't have much in common with someone who hasn't experienced great tragedy in their life and come through it a better and awakened person. I find bitterness very ugly. Weak or strong is the same to me. My last girlfriend was a breast cancer survivor and her scars were beautiful. Sometimes she was amazingly strong, lots of times not, like me. Lots of scars can't be seen with the eyes, but they too are beautiful. Hmm the ability to be amazed at a new day, to be brought to tears by the beauty of the everyday normal life, diamonds on black velvet, to laugh like a child, I mean really laugh. A real smile, bone cracking hugs and loud kisses. Someone who smacks their lips when they eat, literally and figuratively, and enjoys eating with their fingers, slurps soup, and shares. Someone who could give a ---- if they have pennies or pounds. Someone who values a plum just ripe enough to fall into you hand, if your lucky enough to catch it.


Wow. Just wow.


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## rkintn (Dec 12, 2002)

IMHO having a list isn't the problem but putting it out there and sharing it is. Didn't any if you read someone else's list and think "so and so would never be interested in me because I don't fit the list"? I think that's the biggest downfall of online dating as well. When you make such specific lists of traits, physical or otherwise, it limits you. Does that make any sense?


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

Yep rk. I've seen you post something like this in a bunch of threads and I agreed everytime. It's such a limited media. It has it's uses, but when people read more into posts -- or expect more out of the resource -- than is actually there, they're just setting themselves up for disappointment.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

I usta have a pretty good idea of what I would want in a woman. Ive gotten away from dwelling/thinking about it. That being said, I cant really say what id be looking for in another anymore. Don't really want to think about it.


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## biggkidd (Aug 16, 2012)

rkintn said:


> IMHO having a list isn't the problem but putting it out there and sharing it is. Didn't any if you read someone else's list and think "so and so would never be interested in me because I don't fit the list"? I think that's the biggest downfall of online dating as well. When you make such specific lists of traits, physical or otherwise, it limits you. Does that make any sense?


Yes it makes since. Thats why its hard for some. You will notice it was / is a list of like to haves not must haves or deal breakers. It does give others the ideas of what might attract you. Shoot I wrote a list after much thought and it was still a pretty basic list. Then again I am not looking to get together with anyone my life is pretty full.

Besides I wouldn't really want to burden anyone with the problems I have. They are MINE and I don't want to share. LOL 

No but seriously that does have a bit to do with why I am not much interested in another relationship. I have some health issues that aren't a fair shake for most to take on. Living on borrowed time is great as long as we don't drag others down with us. It just wouldn't be fair to saddle someone with things like that. ...

I hope that makes since.

Larry


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## susieneddy (Sep 2, 2011)

Fowler said:


> And aren't you married? Not that I am discounting your opinion, but I think some of the ladies might like to know what the single mens thoughts are. If I am wrong please accept my apologies.


sorry about that. I just now noticed this was in the singles forum :doh:...slowly turning around and :walkut of here


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## SimplerTimez (Jan 20, 2008)

susieneddy said:


> sorry about that. I just now noticed this was in the singles forum :doh:...slowly turning around and :walkut of here


Yeah, we're sneaky like that...:lonergr:

~ST (chuckling)


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## jwal10 (Jun 5, 2010)

Way back when I was single, all I needed was someone who knew HOW to be a GOOD friend....James











40 years ago on the 25th.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Congrats to you and your lady james. Hey, are we ever going to get to see pictures of your 12 volt dc cabin? I have been itching to see it for years now.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

homefire2007 said:


> We must all beware of becoming bitter or cynical, it is an exercise in self-indulgence.


The same can be said of optimism.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

rkintn said:


> IMHO having a list isn't the problem but putting it out there and sharing it is. Didn't any if you read someone else's list and think "so and so would never be interested in me because I don't fit the list"? I think that's the biggest downfall of online dating as well. When you make such specific lists of traits, physical or otherwise, it limits you. Does that make any sense?


Yes. That is why I think it is good to say only a few general things about what you are looking for.


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## Cornhusker (Mar 20, 2003)

I like a gal that takes care of herself, wants to look pretty, but in a natural way.
I don't like hair spray, fancy outfits, clown paint makeup, painted on eyebrows, etc.
If a girl shows up in a t-shirt and jeans, hair in a pony tail, she's got me half won.
I like a woman to be clean. I don't mind if she gets dirty, grungy, filthy, but for Pete's sake, brush your teeth and take a bath at the end of the day.
I like a gal who is loyal, who wants to be my friend first and thinks I'm special.
A woman who can take a compliment.
Most of all, she has to be intelligent, have common sense and a kind heart.
A woman who is kind enough to nurse a kitten back to health and strong enough to shoot a suffering dog.
And if you are the jealous type, don't bother
Am I asking too much?


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

I am really enjoying this thread. I don't see this thread as a list I see it full of poetry, compassion, romantic inner thoughts, and is allowing us to see another side of our ST men. Reading your post has made me look at all of you in a new soft light and for those that participated thank you so very much for opening up and allowing us to get a glimse of your inner thoughts. And I would also like to thank the women for not interjecting your thoughts and allowing the men to share their poetic typing.


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## doingitmyself (Jul 30, 2013)

Above all I put the most value on an easy going nature.

If you tell a joke in a bad way that's OK but you must laugh at it because i may miss the punch line! LOL

I prefer no makeup to just enough. I dislike the evening look in the daytime! I do "fluff" for a living so i prefer a good helping of "stuff" in my woman.

You must stimulate me mentally, and spar with me on points that are important to you. I may even play dumb in order to fully have you explain you point of view, all to understand you better.

She must enjoy being a lady, an i dislike vulgar language from a woman's mouth, its not attractive from a mans either.

She must have some sort of spiritual side, I'm open to most paths but you need to have a path of some sort to follow.

It would be nice if you enjoy kitchen time. I love to cook , but i also want company helping out and sharing in the creation of an awesome meal for us.

You need to put me first on some days, and you should expect me to put you first on other days. 

Because I'm am a Massage Therapist, I'll do most of the massaging, but sometimes after a long hard day you need to work on me a little. It would be nice if you enjoyed it as well instead of considering it a chore.


You must be interested in learning new stuff, I'm always researching something, its like a passion of mine. I'll take an interest in your stuff, but you must take some interest in my stuff as well.

Above all don't take advantage of my good hearted nature. I'm a softy, I usually only fight the battles that are worth winning. I help everybody i can, you must let me do that. There will be plenty left for you, us, and even some extra after that.

One thing i almost forgot, i am a high energy person. I am a high energy person, did i mention i am a high energy person. To be honest if you are a couch potato there really is no way you should consider running with me. It will not work, did i forget to mention i am a high energy person??

The rest you will have to go out with me to find out.


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

Fowler said:


> I am really enjoying this thread. I don't see this thread as a list I see it full of poetry, compassion, romantic inner thoughts, and is allowing us to see another side of our ST men. Reading your post has made me look at all of you in a new soft light and for those that participated thank you so very much for opening up and allowing us to get a glimse of your inner thoughts. And I would also like to thank the women for not interjecting your thoughts and allowing the men to share their poetic typing.


Okay, I do have to say a little something...

Who are you and what have you done with Fowler? Did she sniff her own hankie and is now locked in the cellar? Do we need to round up a posse for a rescue mission? :spinsmiley:


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

No worries, she'll be back after the chloroform wears off....LOL


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## whiterock (Mar 26, 2003)

Cornhusker said:


> I like a gal that takes care of herself, wants to look pretty, but in a natural way.
> I don't like hair spray, fancy outfits, clown paint makeup, painted on eyebrows, etc.
> If a girl shows up in a t-shirt and jeans, hair in a pony tail, she's got me half won.
> I like a woman to be clean. I don't mind if she gets dirty, grungy, filthy, but for Pete's sake, brush your teeth and take a bath at the end of the day.
> ...


 
I'll go along with all of this. 

Add to the list
I like a woman that will LISTEN to me when I want to talk, and not question when I don't.
I like a woman that looks at me like I mean something to her.
She would have to understand that my kids and grandkids are NOT goin to be thrown out to make room for her. I might put her on a pedestal at times, but my family is still a priority in my life, and will remain that way.
She would have to understand that I show affection, I don't usually talk about it. ... And I would be slow to say I love you, but when I did, I would mean it.
ED


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

Fowler said:


> I am really enjoying this thread. I don't see this thread as a list I see it full of poetry, compassion, romantic inner thoughts, and is allowing us to see another side of our ST men. Reading your post has made me look at all of you in a new soft light and for those that participated thank you so very much for opening up and allowing us to get a glimse of your inner thoughts. And I would also like to thank the women for not interjecting your thoughts and allowing the men to share their poetic typing.


You're welcome,,,,I really had to dig deep to openly express my,,,,,,,,,Oh nevermind,,,,,,,Kinda hard to get beyond the Boobs part,,,,,,,


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## rs38bj (May 24, 2009)

I need someone who doesn't subscribe to the socialism of the 21st century and want sometime who will put up with me


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## whiterock (Mar 26, 2003)

Well, Fowler, have your questions been answered yet?


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Yes. And I learned A LOT! Men and women are not so different, except me of course...lol and it meant a lot to me to understand a little clearly the male prespective, reading all the woman's lessons made me wonder what the other side wanted, from their life experiences, now I know. Thank you gentlemen.


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## J.T.M. (Mar 2, 2008)

Someone cool ... that rare and elusive person that makes you feel like you have known them all your life when you first meet . You know ... someone you can share a giggle or a thought with and they say " I hear ya "


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