# Thoughts, Ideas, Suggestions



## HorseMom (Jul 31, 2005)

I'm not sure what to do about this situation. 2.5 years ago I started a quilt for a friend for a Bday present. I've yet to be able to finish it. He knew I was making him one. He said he was excited and didn't want to see pics cause he wanted it to be a surprise. Last year he got a girlfriend that was the jealous, insecure, controlling type so he stopped talking to me. They broke up and he started talking to me again, but it's not the same. We actually rarely talk. I miss the way it was, but I feel I'm forcing him to talk to me. He does have really bad anxiety, but I don't think that's what's going on. I don't know what to do with the quilt. If I would have finished it when I was planning to 2 years ago, he would already have the quilt. I just don't know if I should finish it and give it to him or sell it. What would you do?
TIA,
Heidi


----------



## Gretchen Ann (Aug 30, 2010)

I'd finish it then decide if I wanted to give it to him.

If you would give it to him, say something like you are keeping your word even though the relationship is not the same. Give it and then it is his responsibility to respond. If he doesn't keep up contact, then consider the friendship over, you have done what you said you were going to do.

I would say the trust between you guys was destroyed because of the girlfriend.


----------



## DW (May 10, 2002)

I'd finish it then decide what you want to do. I have many quilts I call "homeless quilts" meaning I can give those away and I do. Last yr I made a little 40 sewed it on an already finished quilt and gave it for someone's 40th ann. Special birthdays get quilts, too.


----------



## frogmammy (Dec 8, 2004)

In the future, don't announce to someone you're making them a gift and then wait a few years to complete it. I have found that is a VERY good policy. They seem to really appreciate these "stealth" gifts!

Finish it, stick it back somewhere and if the situation improves, give it to him THEN, with a "Here, I made this for you."

Mon


----------



## HorseMom (Jul 31, 2005)

I normally don't tell someone I'm making them a quilt. This was a simple pattern and I should have been able to get it done, and I guess I got excited and slipped the info. In the last 2.5 years my life and my living situation have been flipped upside down several time. I really don't have anywhere to sew anymore. I randomly clean off my table and work in it some, but I usually end up crying because I'm hurt. Thanks for the thoughts. The reason I said sell it is 1, I could use some extra bill money, and 2. it's an Ohio State quilt. since they are in the top 4 again, I figured I could get at least $100 for it. That makes me feel greedy though. I've only ever not gifted a quilt to the person I intended it for. I found out she was a fake and would mock and make fun of me because I worked and wasn't home with my kid 24/7!
Heidi


----------



## Calico Katie (Sep 12, 2003)

Sell this one because you have to take care of you. If you still feel that you need to give him a quilt just make a simple lap quilt, like a rail fence, and be done with it. I doubt that he expects it now, though.


----------



## Maura (Jun 6, 2004)

$100 for a quilt? That&#8217;s like giving it away What did the fabric cost you? The batting and everything else? What is your time worth?

Finish the quilt. Invite your friend over for lunch or dinner. Have the quilt laid over the back of the couch on display. He&#8217;ll see it, get excited. This may be the first step in rebuilding your friendship.


----------



## HorseMom (Jul 31, 2005)

Mara I'm sure I'll get more then $100 for the quilt, I just don't want to set my expectations too high. I'm sure materials were under $100. I only bought the stuff when I had good coupons, si everything was dirt cheap. I'm not a professional, I do my own thing rather then follow the rules. I don't expect top dollar for my work
Heidi


----------



## Dandish (Feb 8, 2007)

Horsemom, I remember when you were working on that quilt (I've been MIA for quite some time)! It's lovely. You are under no obligation to give that quilt to its original intended recipient as circumstances have changed dramatically; you need to do what's best for you, your heart. Gifting a quilt is special. If it helps YOUR spirit, gift the quilt; if it really doesn't "do anything" for YOU to gift it, sell it. I think your inclination is to gift it anyhow as you are asking, but just realize that you might not get the reaction/results you hope for. As long as you're ok with that... Just my opinion, of course.  Good luck.


----------



## DW (May 10, 2002)

Heck, I'd sell it...Merry Christmas to you!!!!!!


----------



## HorseMom (Jul 31, 2005)

Dandish, yes part if me still wants him to have it. Then part of me is thinking screw him, he obviously didn't value our friendship like I did. I really am torn and just don't know. I do know I'm hurt, and I miss the friendship I thought we had. Thanks everyone for your thoughts. If I ever finish it, maybe I'll tell him if he wants it he has to have dinner with me. If he doesn't show then on eBay it goes.
Heidi


----------



## sss3 (Jul 15, 2007)

Thinking it's a good thing you didn't give him the quilt earlier. If his GF was controlling and jealous, she prob would have made him get rid of it.


----------



## HorseMom (Jul 31, 2005)

Sss3 I often wondered that myself. He would occasionally text me while they were dating. I kept asking him how he was gonna explain the quilt. He would say he didn't know and he'd figure it out, lol.
Heidi


----------

