# A Girlfriend, Mistress and Wife...



## sidepasser (May 10, 2002)

I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends.
One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years.

We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.

Here's how it all went.

My engaged friend:
The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams...I love you.' Then we were passionate all night long.

The mistress:
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild romance all night.

Then I had to share my story:
When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. When he came in the door and saw me he said,

(you are going to love this..)






" What's for dinner, Zorro?"


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## sidepasser (May 10, 2002)

Today's Short Reading from the Bible... from Genesis:

" " And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the earth " "

Then he made the earth round... and he laughed and laughed and laughed!


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## Marshloft (Mar 24, 2008)

I sooooo cracked up,,,, still laughing.
That was good , you picked a winner


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

So,,,,,,What was for dinner ?????


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## sidepasser (May 10, 2002)

Nothing...and no nookie either...


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

next time try a sundress and barn boots........


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

I like my Nothing over easy & my Nookie sizzling.......,,,,,,,,zorro......


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Ity would have been a bit more funny, IF the 3 had all been the same size and shape, and tonnage. BUTT we know that wouldnt be true.
#1 The Mistress woluld have the best body, and would be making the best money, as she had a professon
#2 The girlfriend would have the next best body, give or take, and she may or not have any profession
#3 The wife would have the worst body, due generally in married women to having children, slaving around in a kitchen all day making meals, ect, AND have the lowest profession. Homemaker lol


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

Good Grief, Bill! Go stand in the corner!!! :trollface :nono:


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

Oh God,,,,,,,,I just envisioned Bill in that outfit in Walmart......


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

FarmBoyZorro :thumb:


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## Shygal (May 26, 2003)

FarmboyBill said:


> Ity would have been a bit more funny, IF the 3 had all been the same size and shape, and tonnage. BUTT we know that wouldnt be true.
> #1 The Mistress woluld have the best body, and would be making the best money, as she had a professon
> #2 The girlfriend would have the next best body, give or take, and she may or not have any profession
> #3 The wife would have the worst body, due generally in married women to having children, slaving around in a kitchen all day making meals, ect, AND have the lowest profession. Homemaker lol



Theres a thread in CF about them finding out Neanderthals are still around. I think I found one.


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## sidepasser (May 10, 2002)

I love it,, http://www.homesteadingtoday.com/newattachment.php?do=manageattach&p=6384283&qeiajax=1

Sidepasser you do not have permission to access this page,

so... someone who has been here as long as 1999..lol..can't upload a pic..
yeah buddy, we are cookin now.

And you wonder why long time folks have quit and moved on to more "user friendly" sites.

Oh well, off to do other things, but the pic I was going to post can be found if you google Zorro - people of walmart...lol..I downloaded to my computer to upload here before I got the ax from whom ever..

See ya'll in the future if I don't see you in the past-ure...lol..


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

I don't have permission either......maybe we've been naughty......


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## littlejoe (Jan 17, 2007)

I'm afraid it'd be Bill, out in the past-ure! I just refuse to go there. lol!



sidepasser said:


> I love it,, http://www.homesteadingtoday.com/newattachment.php?do=manageattach&p=6384283&qeiajax=1
> 
> Sidepasser you do not have permission to access this page,
> 
> ...


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## sherry in Maine (Nov 22, 2007)

don't you ever get weary of whining that same old self serving refrain? (referring to crybaby BI'll)


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## starjj (May 2, 2005)

I would ask if FBB ever thinks before he types BUT that would be an OBVIOUS answer of NO

Bill maybe just try a different approach for a change since the one you have won't work?:grit:


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## littlejoe (Jan 17, 2007)

I realize what you said was made in jest, but it was still in poor taste!

I can say it wasn't funny to me, even though I respect who you are, Bill. And I think you've given this site a lot!

But. being on the internet doesn't give you any kind of the anonyminity you desire. I'm no different than you, and your no different than me, and we all breathe the same air. We all have our struggles.



FarmboyBill said:


> Ity would have been a bit more funny, IF the 3 had all been the same size and shape, and tonnage. BUTT we know that wouldnt be true.
> #1 The Mistress woluld have the best body, and would be making the best money, as she had a professon
> #2 The girlfriend would have the next best body, give or take, and she may or not have any profession
> #3 The wife would have the worst body, due generally in married women to having children, slaving around in a kitchen all day making meals, ect, AND have the lowest profession. Homemaker lol


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Im here to stir the pot. Ive made at least one woman laugh. Laughhter, jokes, fun is all im after.

SG. I walk through Okla tearing limbs offa trees, Billy oops, oops, oops, oopsoops


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Star, You ask if I ever think before I post something. 
Yes, I wonder if theres a woman in here who might just think that im a funny, kinda kind sweet guy whos trying hard to improve his situation,
And so, when I think that there might be, I post as above. It works.


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

How'zat workin' for ya? :trollface


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Alla the wimmins stay dowwn on me sos I DONT look like some desirable male being/


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

:bash:Awwwwwwwww!!!







You don't *really* wonder *why*, do you?????


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## Warwalk (May 25, 2011)

I'd say it different than Bill... the engaged friend would do things for the future husband to be, but never really get into it, as she was more interested in gaining approval. The mistress would rock his world, but always with an agenda in mind, and she'd never stay for the cuddle. The wife would not only get into it, but stay for the cuddle, and as any girl who's had children knows ~ those aren't stretch marks, they're when the tiger earns her stripes! *meee ow! Cheers to all the tigers =)


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## sherry in Maine (Nov 22, 2007)

you make your own reality, FBB, and you are the warden/ prisoner of it....


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## Guest (Jan 14, 2013)

I always thought wives were pretty nice. As long as I get out of there before their husbands get home.


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Okay, just for the record not all Tigers have stripes and believe it or not I did do the above mentioned for my husband, it just wasn't Zorro, lol. But it had to do with white lace and pearls. So it just goes to prove that even while you are married you can still have fun, play dress up and bring home the bacon at the same time.


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

FarmboyBill said:


> Alla the wimmins stay dowwn on me sos I DONT look like some desirable male being/


Bill, have you ever looked at it like if you talked real sweet and was a nice and good gentleman you could have your dinner cooked every night and served to you hot? It does have rewards ya know, talking real sweet that is.


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

Bill, you don't have to listen to them,,,,,,

You just go ahead and ,,,,wear you Zorro clothes to Walmart if you want to,,,


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## coolrunnin (Aug 28, 2010)

L.A. said:


> Bill, you don't have to listen to them,,,,,,
> 
> You just go ahead and ,,,,wear you Zorro clothes to Walmart if you want to,,,


Just let us know which Wal Mart.


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## Warwalk (May 25, 2011)

I'm weird ~ I'd rather cook for a girl. Cook juuuust what she wants, with salad, sides, and dessert. See, that way they wouldn't say they were worn out from cookin' and would have tons of energy! 

*waaaaait a sec. But then they'd be too full. And shleepy. *doh! Back to the drawing board, lol


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Sherry, your abso0lutly right about my jail

Cindi, If I had ever had my food served to me any better than I now serve myself, Ive long since forgotten. And thats a good thing.


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## Shrek (May 1, 2002)

Bill.
I remember an old fella around these parts who died because he got stung to death by hornets, but I don't remember hearing about him intentionally wacking the nest with a stick


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Not once in 25yrs have I
#1 Sat sowqn to eat duringf an argument, about me notr making enough money, About not giving her enough money, About work that shoulda been done since she didnt work out. about trying to get her to get a job. About her driving around all day when she wasa saupposed to stay home whilw I worked in the hot en of a glass factory trying to make enough money for the both of us. About her and credit cards. About trying to get her to help me cut wood as it was cold. About the wood being gone be Feb cause she woukldnt help me cut it in the late fall, CAUSE it might not be to bad a winter and there was no use to cut more than we needed

ALLA my meals in rhe last 25yrs have ALWAYS been with a quiet peaceful contentment, And, if not quite as tasty as SOME women can cook a meal, OF WHICH ONLY the first was good at, they have ALWAYS been as filling as I could want


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Food, to me isnt about the grand taste of it, as the fulfilling value of itr tro keep me filled so I could continue to be a workaholic


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## frogmammy (Dec 8, 2004)

Well, if FILLING is what you want, you got it!

Mon


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

Yep,,,,,Full of it....

hehe


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

Well, FBB. . . . them wuz the wimmins *you* picked. . . . for whatever ephemeral reason. . . .


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

yep, they wuz, and id be the one picking the next one.

IF I drove a Model T from here to Tulsa, and didnt like the speed. and so tried to do it with another 2 model Ts with the same result, And then waited a quarter century, and all that was left was to drive a horse and buggy, The speed wouldnt be any better lol

And yes, Im full 
of it


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

*sigh* You lost me. . . .


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

nehimama said:


> *sigh* You lost me. . . .


I was thinking the same thing, FBB is a lost cause for sure now. If food doesn't get him then nothing will get to him.


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## frogmammy (Dec 8, 2004)

FarmboyBill said:


> yep, they wuz, and id be the one picking the next one.
> 
> IF I drove a Model T from here to Tulsa, and didnt like the speed. and so tried to do it with another 2 model Ts with the same result, And then waited a quarter century, and all that was left was to drive a horse and buggy, The speed wouldnt be any better lol
> 
> ...


Actually, I'm thinking you have a bull pulling that buggy, and that you BOTH have a lot in common.

You don't fish, do you, Bill? People who fish usually know that if you're doing something and it doesn't work, do something ELSE....and KEEP doing something else until you find what works.

Mon


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Nope. Dont fish, hunt, spit, whittle, chew, drink booze, chase mild women. Other than that, I have a pretty exciting life.lol


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## Macrocarpus (Jan 30, 2018)

LOL, The OP was funny, but the reaction to Farmboy is more comical and predictable---Yes, wives with children tend to lose their shapes more quickly than "mistresses" and young engaged women. Does not make them less valuable nor does it make them less desirable to the men who have managed to keep them. 

I am reminded of the times when I was sent away on assignments and the receptions I got upon my return, especially if I returned after the children were in bed and sleeping. 

Nothing has changed since the dawn of time---Young women are more shapely than old women, old women are more valued for their accomplishments, their intrinsic worth than for their beauty. In the eyes of an old man, his wife is the same woman he found among the flowers of his youth.


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## Macrocarpus (Jan 30, 2018)

Bill tells the truth, he does not chase mild women. I know the man, he would make some rich, female, crazy, middle-aged sex fiend a good temporary diversion.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

YE GAD. This post is over 9yrs old. Ive changed ALOT since 2013. A lot has changed me. We must be dead in here to drag up posts that old. lol


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## Macrocarpus (Jan 30, 2018)

Aw Shucks, Bill---In the world of romance, nothing has changed since the beginning of time. I saw the thread, did not look at the dates---those old ladies were talking about the 1950's but that sort of thing is going on now and was going on when Adam was a kid.

You gotta remember---there are cycles in the fashions and mores of the times. When Ben Franklin was in Paris he dallied with so many women he came home with "The present that won't go away". Then there was a long period when women simply did not give away their favors outside of marriage, another big episode of "anything goes" during the civil war, more reluctance in the late 1800's, open prostitution in the early 1900's. In Fort Smith there is a museum of prostitution---The ladies names over the doors to the rooms, where the leading citizens of the day took their pleasures. Before WWII there was another period of reluctance and then the 1960's and today.

Somebody has studied this and written a scholarly report on it. I may have my dates off a bit, but the cycles are out there. Even the Romans followed the cycles, and soldiers everywhere took what came to them easily.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

I watch Murdoch Mysteries, a show a night. Its set now, I think in 1905. It seems dead men were being found with cards that men and women could buy at a Tronoto? card shop/print shop. There were various messages they could buy by the different written cards that were for sale,. Detective Murdoch was finding these men with a card on there person inviting them in a sorda sexy way to get to know a woman.. It turned out this ugly girl in school who the guys called donkey Dora had grown up, went to New York and got made beautiful, which I doubt they could do in those days, and, anyhow came back to T Town and was killing all the guys who had laughed at her. I had never heard of this practice of women giving out cards to guys, or the reverse for that matter. Now I know that they did have cards with guys and girls names on them so that, say, IF a guy went to a womans house and she wasnt there, they could leave their card with their name and address? on it so that she would know that the guy had came to call on her, but I took those to just be polite (calling cards).


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## Tom Horn (Feb 10, 2021)

sidepasser said:


> Nothing...and no nookie either...


Sounds like that Hawaiian disease Alackanookie.


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