# .380 or 9mm for the wife?



## 67drake

First off, my wife has fibromyalgia and arthritis in her hands. Also she has shot 38 specials out of my .357, but nothing bigger. She has only shot a pistol a handful of times.
We both have our CCW and she wants to finally get around to actually carrying.
Being inexperienced, and with her physical issues, I think I’m set on a S&W .380 Shield EZ. It’s got great reviews too.
My son says go 9mm, because “it’s bigger”, power wise anyway. Well bigger isn’t always better if you can’t hit what you’re aiming at, IMO. You can never have too many guns as I see it, so she could always trade up later. I think the low recoil is more important to a beginner.
My mind is pretty set, but I figured there has got to be a lot of shooters on this site, so what do you think?


----------



## Alice In TX/MO

NO on the 9 mm.

I have wrist arthritis, and I shoot a Lady Smith .38

Love it.


----------



## andiplus8

Alice In TX/MO said:


> NO on the 9 mm.
> 
> I have wrist arthritis, and I shoot a Lady Smith .38
> 
> Love it.


I too have arthritis in my wrist so I also have a S&W .38. I've shot a lot of handguns and the only one I liked more was a walther ppk.


----------



## GTX63

My wife also has fibromyalgia and little strength in her hands. A .45 was unusable and a 9mm painful.
She usually had a Browning 1911 3/4 sized in 22 that she used and was comfortable with.
A lady friend introduced her to her .380 and it works very well for her.
I prefer to limit my calibers but she doesn't shoot much and it is true; a stick might be better than a Desert Eagle if you can't hit the target or pull the trigger.


----------



## topside1

As you probably know, pistol/revolver overall loaded weight plays an important role in reducing recoil. I own .380, 9mm, semi's and .38 revolver firearms, and each one's recoil is noticeably different due to overall weight. For those interested, the .380 has the most wrist recoil. I'm shooting pocket pistols, Ruger LCP and S&W Bodyguard. Good luck, so many choices....Topside


----------



## Sebastian C

. 22, very easy to handle and carry. I know plenty say that's totally inadequate but no one wants to get shot by anything, not even a little .22


----------



## GTX63

The 22 caliber "Practical for self defense or not" etc debate will never end.
If that is what you or your wife is comfortable with, to hell with the snobs .


----------



## HDRider

It is hard to find the right gun. My little .380 ACPs hurt to shoot. I bought my wife a S&W M&P 38 SPCL revolver with a built in laser sight. She likes it OK, but she does not love it.

Maybe this will help

















An Official Journal Of The NRA | Right For You: Ladies Pistol Project 3 Results


What are the best handguns for women? We decided to ask them in the course of the Ladies Pistol Project 3. All told, 68 women fired 26 handguns and gave us their impressions.




www.americanrifleman.org


----------



## robin416

I've got both a .32 Tomcat and a .380. I'm finding it harder and harder to wrack the .380.


----------



## Danaus29

I once had a 9 mm. Kicked like a mad mule and ejected hot cartridges right over my head and down the back of my shirt.

A lot of people say a .22 isn't ideal, or even acceptable, for self defence. Over 100 raccoons have a different opinion. The rounds make a difference. Target rounds will hurt, hollow points or segmented rounds do a lot of damage.

I've never shot a .38, .380 or .357 so I can't give you a good comparison on those.


----------



## HDRider

It is a conundrum. Weight makes for more pleasant shooting, but presents problems with concealed carry. Revolvers are easier to load than racking a semiauto, but more bulky.

Someone once told me EVERY decision is a compromise.


----------



## Drizler

I’ve got a few belly guns, an LCP, Sccy CPX2 and Smith 642. The LCP ( hammer type) is the best hideout and completely safe to carry chambered . It’s a great shooter but beats you to a pulp. The Sccy has more and powerful round and more of them and also “ hurts”. It also has a nice safe trigger though most hate it. My favorite shooter is the bone simple 642. It’ll take +p for carry use ( not recommended for a steady diet) and I can fire mine a hundred rounds easily without sore mits . The nice rubber grip makes recoil light and it has a decent DAO with no hammer to snag . The action gets far better with use and or 1000 dry fires ( in my case). It’s a tad on the wide side compared to a auto but there’s no helping that . That makes it ideal for a purse gun but not so hot in a pocket holster like the LCP. 
I’m not such a fan of strikes for carrying chambered for the same reason they shoot so nice. They’re just too easy to AD for me In that usage. Keeping one unchambered particularly when someone has weak hands doesn’t sound great ether which leads me straight back to the good old stone simple revolver. There’s nothing like a revolver for folks who aren’t regular shooters, it’s the best of both worlds.
That’s my nickels worth....


----------



## hiddensprings

Just IMO, it shouldn't matter if your mind is set on a specific gun or not. Since your wife is the one that will be carrying it, its what she's comfortable with, not you. Take her to the gun shop and let her handle several different guns to see what works for her and what she is able to handle the easiest. I purchased my first gun by going with hubby to the gun shop. He wanted me to have a 9mm.....I ended up with a 357 revolver which I shot 38 out of. It was easier for me, didn't have as many moving parts, easy to load,etc. My point being, this gun is for her, let her choose.


----------



## Nimrod

Your wife's medical condition will get worse. You need to plan for that. Get whatever handgun she is comfortable with and will be comfortable with down the road. 

Keep in mind that you can load down any caliber (except 22) to keep the recoil down. I load down 357 cartridges for my S&W 586 so low that you can practically see the bullets go downrange. My 11 year old nephew really enjoyed shooting that and it's great for practice. Even so, I would not like to be shot by one. 

In the heat of battle you don't notice the recoil as much. Practice with the light loads and carry with hotter loads.


----------



## WinonaRail

I had purchased a Taurus 9mm single stack for my wife. I knew she wouldn't shoot much and got her something compact and light. She has trouble with her wrist and couldn't rack the slide. We ended up selling it to a friend and went on the hunt. I was considering a revolver. A guy at a LGS suggested the M&P Shield EZ. He didn't have any. We went to another LGS the next week. They had received a shipment of .380 Shield EZs with manual safety. She handles several firearms and found that to be most comfortable and she had no trouble racking the slide. We still need to get her on the range to find out how she handles it. If you have the opportunity to rent guns at a local range, I would suggest you have her handle a few and narrow down the field. Then try out the top choices on the range.


----------



## backwoodsman7

.380 has an unpleasantly hard kick. Seems counter-intuitive, I realize, but I suppose it results from the combination of a small light gun, velocity, etc. A mid-size 9mm or small .38 Spl. is better. But if those aren't options, I'd suggest a .25 or .32 because they're significantly more powerful than .22, but a lot less recoil than the bigger stuff. If hand strength to rack a slide is an issue, or likely to become one in the future, consider the Beretta or Taurus models with the tip-up barrel.


----------



## wil14

I personally would never start a girl out on a semi automatic. I myself lean towards revolvers so it's not meant to be disparaging but in all honesty I simply do not trust women or children with semi autos..


----------



## DisasterCupcake

I have both, but my .38 kicks like a mule, and my 9mm is smooooooth. I do prefer to carry around the .38 because it's a snub (probably why the recoil is so bad) and easy to tuck under a loose blouse. 
I think it really depends more on the gun than the caliber, as someone already mentioned.


----------



## Drizler

wil14 said:


> I personally would never start a girl out on a semi automatic. I myself lean towards revolvers so it's not meant to be disparaging but in all honesty I simply do not trust women or children with semi autos..


So true! Call me sexist , no matter but it is what it is. It’s just the way It is. Frequent shooters Pistol, infrequent, uninterested REVOLVER all the way. Ya pulls the bang lever with yer booger hook and it goes bang every time. No safety to miss . 
Many women and some men just can’t( won’t) deal with hi power rounds particularly in light guns period. When I was with US Customs some of the women were allowed to carry or qualify (I forget which) with 38s in their CS-1 S& Ws. Most didn’t though it was just a choice. 
It’s not about women vs men , hell when in basic the women shot the pants off the men except for us few ridge runners. Why , because they didn’t know crap but listened to the Drill Sgts while the guys knew it all and didn’t want to admit it!! 
It’s all about EXPERIENCE with these things. Most women won’t go out shooting ( mine won’t go 200 yards out back in the truck) to be current , just won’t do it. She likes the revolver hands down. Just can’t be bothered with the auto. 
The old Sarge once said “ KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID” . Smart guy that Korean War vet. Make things as simple as possible for everyone’s sake. Let her shoot a couple of each and above all see what she’s comfortable with . Then make sure she can actually shoot it well.


----------



## 67drake

Thanks for all the feedback!
I’ll take it all into consideration.
One thing I will say is that if you are not familiar with the EZ Shield, it was designed basically for smaller, weaker users. The clip for example, you can push down on a slide as your loading it to compress the spring with one hand, as you load with the other, to make it easier. The slide has a rack that is a lot easier to pull back than other models. Lighter trigger pull to fire, ect. It is also supposed to have a lot less kick compared to similar size/weight.380’s. This is one of the reasons we picked this model.

Watch video if interested


----------



## GREENCOUNTYPETE

if you can go to a range that rents call ahead make sure they have the guns your interested in.

380 is a less powerful cartridge but typically only put in small guns

small guns are harder to shoot and recoil harder 

have her try several in 380 and 9mm see what she likes


----------



## mamahen

I have carpal tunnel and pretty bad arthritis in both of my thumbs. I love my Kimber micro .380.

Small enough to fit in my front pocket and easy to shoot.


----------



## Danaus29

I'll admit I prefer a revolver, but that's just for looks. I grew up seeing revolvers on tv in all the old westerns so it's just a childhood fascination. All the cap guns my brother got (but I never did) were modeled after revolvers.

I just don't like the way the empty cartriges pop out of a semi-auto. My son has a 5.7 that flings cartridges up to 8 feet away. It handles really nice, no kick, easy to load mag, good safety features. I just don't like the flying cartridges.


----------



## HDRider

67drake said:


> Thanks for all the feedback!
> I’ll take it all into consideration.
> One thing I will say is that if you are not familiar with the EZ Shield, it was designed basically for smaller, weaker users. The clip for example, you can push down on a slide as your loading it to compress the spring with one hand, as you load with the other, to make it easier. The slide has a rack that is a lot easier to pull back than other models. Lighter trigger pull to fire, ect. It is also supposed to have a lot less kick compared to similar size/weight.380’s. This is one of the reasons we picked this model.
> 
> Watch video if interested


That was the #1 rated lady gun on the NRA lady study


----------



## Drizler

Just remember to let her do the choosing and HANDLING. I CANT EMPHASIZE THE HANDLING ENOUGH. Autos are a more technical beast so let her try somebody’s revolver and decide what she prefers. 
Another thing , don’t hand her +P ect to try it out. Go for a light bullet and more target oriented loading. Much less recoil and blast to deal with is always appreciated by new shooters and helps with not developing bad habit.


----------



## 67drake

HDRider said:


> That was the #1 rated lady gun on the NRA lady study


Great to know! I had read a lot of reviews and quite a few videos. It seems to get great ratings.


----------



## 67drake

Drizler said:


> Just remember to let her do the choosing and HANDLING. I CANT EMPHASIZE THE HANDLING ENOUGH. Autos are a more technical beast so let her try somebody’s revolver and decide what she prefers.
> Another thing , don’t hand her +P ect to try it out. Go for a light bullet and more target oriented loading. Much less recoil and blast to deal with is always appreciated by new shooters and helps with not developing bad habit.


Oh yeah. She actually wants to take a shooting class too. My ex came from one of those “no guns allowed “ families, so we took a class to familiarize her with being around them. I figured it was a good idea if she married me. I ended up learning more than she did I believe.


----------



## GREENCOUNTYPETE

I here people say a revolver is so much simpler than an Auto they say this all the time.

a Glock 17 has 35 parts that includes the magazine parts
it field strips to 1 slide , 2 recoil spring captured by the way ,3 barrel ,4 frame, 5 magazine with no tools for everything else other than the sights and barrel channel all you need to work on the rest of the gun basically anything a user should ever be doing is that one 3/32 punch

a S&W J frame has 86 parts and many of them need fitting by a smith.

I know I know some one will say but you never need to take the revolver apart 

I just spent the day hunting in the snow then rain , there was water everywhere , everywhere in my gun the only part I didn't disassemble was the contained trigger assembly and I got it dry and then got it sprayed with hornady one shot dry lube.

I have had pistols in the rain , they need disassembly and an oiling or you get rust.

if the argument is that a revolver is a point and click interface no safety to worry about , so is a striker fired semi auto with no external safety.

the best argument for the revolver is not having the hand strength to rack the slide will you have the hand strengh to keep a grip through recoil
you can run lightened loads in the revolver and it continues to function 

I found it interesting that in the American Rifleman Ladies pistol project 1,2,3 the revolvers were typically the least liked gun that the women reviewed , they did not shoot them as well as the others.

yet everyone wants to put a revolver in the hands of any woman interested in a gun.

low ammo capacity 
heavy long trigger pull often around 12 pounds 

you were worried about a 17 pound recoil spring that both hands and arm strength can be used to rack and then you provide a 12 pound trigger to be pulled with 1 finger while maintaining sight picture.

slow to reload , loose ammo or bulky speed loader

there was a reason the Glock 19 and 17 came out very high in repeated Ladies pistol projects 

the larger gun makes the 9mm easier to handle 

I couldn't get the bottom of the list in the capture below but it ends with the S&W revolver


----------



## Danaus29

With a revolver you are limited in what ammo you can use. Semi-autos come in all calibers except a long colt, at least that has been my observation. I could have missed some.


----------



## Esteban29304

I have arthritis in my hands & have carried for many years. I have small .380 & 9mm semis. They are getting harder for me to rack the slide, than to tolerate the recoil. SHE needs to visit a good shop that has many choices . A 9mm REVOLVER is another choice that is much easier for me to shoot & you can get lighter loads for it.


----------



## weaselfire

Take your wife to a range that rents guns. Let her choose what she wants.

Jeff


----------



## JJ Grandits

The S&W mp's shield has just had a massive recall.
I am personally thinking of getting my wife and my youngest daughter each a .22mag. revolver.
Recoil is not a problem and at defensive shooting ranges it hits real well. 3or4 40gr. Hollow points cranking at over 1000fps. can do the trick.
Also because of the low recoil they will practice more.
Just my opinion.


----------



## GREENCOUNTYPETE

22mag tends to need some barrel length to get good velocity 

here is a decent look at this 




, 22mag performs just a little better than 22lr there are some critical defense and gold dot rounds intended for short barrels but both still need more than a 2 inch barrel to work correctly.

it is an entirely different experience from a rifle

pistols 1000 to 1300 fps vs 1900-2200fps from a rifle

very few of the bullets expand at the pistol velocities and non expanded at the 2 inch barrel velocity

327 federal would be a good round to look at
not every one knows that a 327 federal is basically the 357 fo the 32 world like 357 will chamber 38spl a 327fed mag will chamber other 32 cal pistol loads like 32 S&W long and 32 H&R mag giving you greater ability to find a round both designed for self defense but not too heavy in recoil

the 327 also gets back to 6 rounds in a J-frame size gun

also as a handloader , I know many people say don't handload self defense ammo however I think for those very careful in their re-loading practices a good round is a good round as a justified use of force is a justified use. you can do many things with the round.

the 32 was apparently a favorite of trench raiders in WWI a good knife and a 32 really 8mm Lebel although other 32s of the time may have been used

a 80-110gr bullet that starts a 1/10 of an inch larger and twice to nearly 3 times the weight going similar speeds to the 22mag with still reasonable recoil sounds like a better choice if they can handle it that would be with the 32S&W long the 327 Fedral is going a fair amount faster.


----------

