# Are you seeing a lot of "borrowers" lately?



## Spinner (Jul 19, 2003)

The past few weeks I've noticed a lot of people wanting to "borrow" things. Some are acquaintances, others are strangers, and a few are good friends. The strangers I put into the begging category, some of the acquaintances go in that category too. 

I ran into a woman at a gas station who claimed the pump didn't shut off and pumped more than she could pay for. She was trying to bum money to pay for the "extra gas". I guess she thought I was stupid, the station requires you pay in advance and they set the amount on the pump so it's impossible to pump more than you can pay for.

A LOT of strangers have wanted me to give them cigarettes and more than one has ask me to go in the store and buy them a pack. 

I was in the checkout the other day when the lady (stranger) in front of me had an extra large box of diapers (the most expensive brand.) She was a couple dollars short and turned and ask me if I had a couple dollars to "loan" her. I told her I didn't have the extra money to loan out (which was true) so she canceled her item after a bit of hand wringing and looking around. After I checked out, I noticed her in another checkout lane. I hung around and seen her do the same thing, this time getting the person behind her to pay for her item. She took the bag out the door where she handed it to a man who took it right back in the store and got a refund. In the meantime, she was back in line, getting another person behind her to pony up money. I watched her do this 3 times, each time handing off the bag to the man who took it back for a refund. It amazed me how many times the person in line behind her paid her bill in full allowing her to keep her money. I had never seen this happen before so either it's new or it's just the first time I've been hit with it. 

This one makes me scratch my head... A girl spent the night with my grand daughter next door. The girl ask if she could take some of my groceries home with her. This girl is a teen, not an innocent child. Thankfully she only seen the tiny amounts of food I keep in my kitchen, not the storage room. I keep my storage room locked because of people like her. 

I've been getting lots of requests for rides to town. Depending on which town they want to go to, it's takes anywhere from 5 to 15 gallons of gas to make the trip and they don't offer to pay for the gas. I guess they think I'll cover the costs of their shopping trips. Some of them get mad when I tell them I don't have enough gas to take them. They still don't offer to buy any, they say something like "don't you have a cc you can use to fill the tank? :grump:

I'm amazed at how brave people have become at asking for whatever they want. If this is a sample of what is coming, I'm very glad that I've been learning how to say no in a tactful way. 

Has anyone else has noticed things like this lately.


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## ||Downhome|| (Jan 12, 2009)

Spinner said:


> I ran into a woman at a gas station who claimed the pump didn't shut off and pumped more than she could pay for. She was trying to bum money to pay for the "extra gas". I guess she thought I was stupid, the station requires you pay in advance and they set the amount on the pump so it's impossible to pump more than you can pay for.


I have seen this happen before, at a station I use to fill up there is one right next door. that one is always cheaper but most time there is a line around the block , a big hassle and no coffee! anyways I was filling up and being a guy there where a few good looking women so well admiring from afar, I notice gas
shooting out of one of the cars being filled and a huge puddle starting to form.
the person filling it was opposite the tank on a cell phone, seems I was the only one to see it also. 

those pumps are prepay also and it should of also clicked off when the tank was full.

faulty equipment and cashier error? she had to pay for the spilled gas, other wise she could of been prosecuted for gas theft, taken pretty seriously around there.if it would of been me I would of had the owner called there and had him rectify it,but she had more money then time I guess. 
though I think it would be cheaper to make it right with the customer then for the owner then being fined for the faulty equipment and repairs. 
who know what else was in disrepair , oh ya the gas station is located in a water shed area too.

not saying the gal was not running a scam but it is possible either way.


but just be happy those folks are asking sooner or later the asking will be a nicety of the past.


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## CJ (May 10, 2002)

I will sometimes give someone cash if they ask, but I've learned over the years not to loan out equipment, period. Whether it's a kitchen canner or our tractor, we've come out of the short end of the stick every time, and now I have no qualms about simply refusing and if they ask why not, I say because experience has taught me better!

I may occasionally donate my personal time along with the equipment, so I'm the one using it, but I rarely have enough free time to do so and I certainly will not volunteer my husband, he regularly works 70 hour weeks and never has enough time for our own stuff.

Selfish? Probably. But we take exceptional care of our things, and I notice that generally the people asking to borrow them do not care for their own. Cars and houses are usually a good indication. I don't care if it's ancient, there's no need for it not to be clean and well maintained. After all, if you take good care of your stuff, it will take good care of you, and hold much better value... you might need that value one day.


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## willbuck1 (Apr 4, 2010)

This is all typical behavior in ghetto's and "Projects". You can't afford to live there and have people think you might be a soft touch because they will expect your help and get very vocal if you refuse. Just sounds like the "ghetto" is expanding.


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## manygoatsnmore (Feb 12, 2005)

There are certain places where I can expect someone to be working the parking lot asking for handouts. Don't know these people from Adam's off ox, and have no problem telling them that I work hard for my money and don't give it away to be used for drugs, drinks and smokes by someone else.


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## TnAndy (Sep 15, 2005)

Spinner said:


> I was in the checkout the other day when the lady (stranger) in front of me had an extra large box of diapers (the most expensive brand.) She was a couple dollars short and turned and ask me if I had a couple dollars to "loan" her. I told her I didn't have the extra money to loan out (which was true) so she canceled her item after a bit of hand wringing and looking around. After I checked out, I noticed her in another checkout lane. I hung around and seen her do the same thing, this time getting the person behind her to pay for her item. She took the bag out the door where she handed it to a man who took it right back in the store and got a refund. In the meantime, she was back in line, getting another person behind her to pony up money. I watched her do this 3 times, each time handing off the bag to the man who took it back for a refund. It amazed me how many times the person in line behind her paid her bill in full allowing her to keep her money. I had never seen this happen before so either it's new or it's just the first time I've been hit with it.


You might as well just hand them the money to buy their drugs/alcohol, because most likely that is what is going on.

Bum came up to me outside a burger joint I was headed into for lunch one day, asking for money to eat. I said, "come on it, I'll buy you something." I paid for mine, and his, and as I moved off to a table, I saw him negotiating with the cashier to get "his" money back for the meal. ( she wouldn't do it )

That broke me from dealing with bums.

Now I have fun with them:

"Got any spare change ?"

"Define spare......" and just wait until they move on off....

Or "Yes I do "........and just stand there.

Some will take the next step "Can I have it", and I come back with "Why the heck would I do that ? I worked hard for it....why would I just give it to a bum ? "........they finally figure out they need to move on to a softer touch.



"Can I borrow a dollar ? " 

"Maybe.....stop in at my office, and fill out a credit application and we'll go from there"


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## trkarl (Dec 15, 2009)

Spinner said:


> They still don't offer to buy any, they say something like "don't you have a cc you can use to fill the tank?


Say "No I don't have a credit card at all but I'll be glad to use yours."


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## megafatcat (Jun 30, 2009)

Pride is a sin. Self esteem (just pride but on a little lower level) is what keeps society working.
That is why generations before thought being 'on the dole' was so evil. Once you cross that line it is hard to go back and hold your head up. And it is a very slippery slope from there to thinking that others owe you a handout. How else can an adult justify living on other peoples money?


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## Trixters_muse (Jan 29, 2008)

I live in a neighborhood that was once pretty nice but as the economy tanked around here more and more good folks sold their houses to these "investors" who immediately rented them to low lifes and bums who have turned our once peaceful neighborhood into a not so nice place to live. People I barely know come over to borrow eggs or milk from me. I don't mean one egg or a cup of milk, no they want the entire container! One guy asked for a ride and I pointed to the empty driveway and told him I don't have a car so he asked if I would lend him bus fare! Keep in mind I have never met this person, I have just seen him walking around and my daughter tells me he lives a few houses down from us and is always asking various people for everything from a ride to food and asked one neighbor who didn't even know him for $10. I used to leave my garden rake out on the patio sometimes, can't do that anymore, they take anything not nailed down. I spotted a lady using my rake and I told her I wanted my property back, she looked shocked and told me she was just borrowing it and would return it later. She tried to knock on the door and ask to borrow it but my dog barked and scared her. Uuummm... I don't HAVE a dog! Apparently I need one. We have a store that sells gas down the street, my mom stopped going there for her gas because she would have 3 bums at a time come to her asking for money. She too had the experience of offering to buy a guy the food and watched him take the unopened items back inside to try and get a refund.

Yeah, I am becoming more selfish, my kids and I bust our butts to get what we have and Im not gonna give it to mooches.


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## julieq (Oct 12, 2008)

||Downhome|| said:


> but just be happy those folks are asking sooner or later the asking will be a nicety of the past.


That's my worry too.


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## joyfulheart (Mar 26, 2009)

julieq said:


> That's my worry too.


Mine TOO!


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## Honduras Trish (Nov 30, 2007)

Trixters_muse said:


> Yeah, I am becoming more selfish, my kids and I bust our butts to get what we have and Im not gonna give it to mooches.


I'm a Christian missionary, living and working in an extremely poor part of an extremely poor country. It's possible I'm not going to say what you'd expect.

It isn't selfish to be careful in your giving. In Christianese, we call that "stewardship."

Dh and I have had to develop a strategy for our giving. The part of the country where we work has 400,000 people in it, and we don't know all of them. So, when people come to us asking for a handout, we tell them that we can't do handouts, because we don't know everyone personally, and some people don't even try to work for their money, they just beg all the time (and the person asking always nods sympathetically and says they know some people like that). So, since we are Christian missionaries, we suggest they go for help to whoever is the local pastor or priest in their village, and ask them for help. We pass out food, vitamins, food, deworming meds, etc through the churches. The local pastor or priest will have a better shot at getting the help to the truly needy, and not to the scammers, than we do, and the pastor or priest can come to us for the help we have to give (and for help for a specific person or family), if they deem it necessary.

It might be possible to modify that strategy for use in the US . . . you could donate to a local community food pantry or church program, and then when people beg, direct them to that food pantry, or program or whatever.

We had a friend who lived near us a few years back (in a different part of Honduras) who had a different strategy. At that time and place, people would generally ask for a "loan", not straight out begging, so he would agree to the loan, provided the person would let him hold their TV as collateral. No one_ ever_ needed the loan bad enough to give up their TV.


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## tab (Aug 20, 2002)

Redistribution of wealth is a main stream topic. The thought of many, many people having such a sense of entitlement is truly scarey.


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## ChristyACB (Apr 10, 2008)

To the OP - The gas thing is totally possible. When the NEX upgraded to the new pumps (argh) so it could run gas 24 hours without being open, one of them had a faulty "limiter". Finally they put a sign up that said you had to monitor the flow because it wouldn't shut off at the pre-paid amount. 

I think most people take it for granted that it will shut off and stop paying attention. She probably did get caught out skylarking while the gas kept flowing.

I used to feel really bad for the people at pump 7 here and holler out to watch it (before they put the sign up).


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## 7thswan (Nov 18, 2008)

Now you have got me thinking, dh does most of the shopping I'll ask hm. But it struck me as strange;my neighbor girl called and asked me if I had any lunch meat for a sandwich. I said no ,but do have a can of tuna,she came and got it.Just the other day she came over,said she thought she is pregnant, I said go get a test.She said no she'll go to the clinic-it's free.On the way out she said can I have this chair-)my heated vibrator chair I use for my back) I said no ,I use it. She said, "so? I don't have one."


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## ChristyACB (Apr 10, 2008)

7thswan said:


> Now you have got me thinking, dh does most of the shopping I'll ask hm. But it struck me as strange;my neighbor girl called and asked me if I had any lunch meat for a sandwich. I said no ,but do have a can of tuna,she came and got it.Just the other day she came over,said she thought she is pregnant, I said go get a test.She said no she'll go to the clinic-it's free.*On the way out she said can I have this chair-)my heated vibrator chair I use for my back) I said no ,I use it. She said, "so? I don't have one.*"


That statement would worry me.

Many of the examples in this thread seem to me like they are practicing for the day they transition from asking to taking. 

It's just getting more aggressive somehow.....

I'd steer clear of that girl, Swan. Do you know her well? Is that her normal attitude?


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## Honduras Trish (Nov 30, 2007)

7thswan said:


> Now She said, "so? I don't have one."


That borders on terrifying!


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## 7thswan (Nov 18, 2008)

Honduras Trish said:


> I'm a Christian missionary, living and working in an extremely poor part of an extremely poor country. It's possible I'm not going to say what you'd expect.
> 
> It isn't selfish to be careful in your giving. In Christianese, we call that "stewardship."
> 
> ...


Please don't take this offensively. I'd like to know, why don't we as a country pass out Birth Control.


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## 7thswan (Nov 18, 2008)

ChristyACB said:


> That statement would worry me.
> 
> Many of the examples in this thread seem to me like they are practicing for the day they transition from asking to taking.
> 
> ...


Yes, I've known her about 5 years.It wasen't her "norm" until she becane about 16,she's 18 now. Maybe she thinks I'm a pushover.


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## megafatcat (Jun 30, 2009)

We do.


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## 7thswan (Nov 18, 2008)

megafatcat said:


> We do.


Ok, you're probably right, I WAS a Pushover,kinda.


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## Honduras Trish (Nov 30, 2007)

7thswan said:


> Please don't take this offensively. I'd like to know, why don't we as a country pass out Birth Control.


I'm not offended (I personally didn't produce all the babies my body could have ), but I don't know the answer to your question. I know the use of birth control is considered controversial by some, especially in traditionally Catholic countries like those in Central America, but amongst the more educated Hondurans I think it is pretty well accepted, and family sizes are more controlled. 

The very poor, with whom we work, would need a lot of education before they would be able to accept and use birth control effectively. That's my opinion, anyway.


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## bee (May 12, 2002)

This is a very worrying thread. I have been considering getting locks for my outbuildings..I think I will my next trip to town.

It is time for spring cleaning...I think I will leave the junk on the porch largely alone. We had a thread before about such "camo". 

I really worry about my poultry.


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## julieq (Oct 12, 2008)

bee said:


> This is a very worrying thread. I have been considering getting locks for my outbuildings..I think I will my next trip to town.
> I really worry about my poultry.


We did the locks and then we got a huge GS puppy about a year ago. She's really gentle, but she's got a huge bark. I'm thinking about getting a 'beware of dog' sign (strangers don't need to know that she's gentle). She's kenneled at night time between the goat barn and poultry pen.


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## megafatcat (Jun 30, 2009)

Sorry 7thswan, my reply was about birth control. Available free in the USA.


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## ChristyACB (Apr 10, 2008)

julieq said:


> We did the locks and then we got a huge GS puppy about a year ago. She's really gentle, but she's got a huge bark. I'm thinking about getting a 'beware of dog' sign (strangers don't need to know that she's gentle). She's kenneled at night time between the goat barn and poultry pen.


That's the true benefit of my two beagles. They have the hugest voices and they sound truly aggressive because of the way their natural voices are. In truth, they are tiny little love puppies. Nonetheless, people don't approach my house without getting an earful.


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## TnAndy (Sep 15, 2005)

Some have already made the transition from asking to taking. Neighbor of mine and his grown son were at local gas station one day recently...his truck is diesel, so he has to fill at a more remote pump off to the side, sort of out of the way. 

Guy approached him with a knife in hand, "requesting" money. His son came out of the truck with the .45 they keep in the glove box and educated the bum on the folly of bringing a knife to a potential gunfight.


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## Txrider (Jun 25, 2010)

Wow, some seriously pushy folks in some of these stories..

I a big guy, and I usually wear beat up jeans as I wear em until they are about fall off, and old T-shirts, so I guess I don't get approached much for stuff like that. Big and dangerous looking, and looking I would not have anything to give anyway..


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## 7thswan (Nov 18, 2008)

megafatcat said:


> Sorry 7thswan, my reply was about birth control. Available free in the USA.


That's ok,you were right on both counts.


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## AngieM2 (May 10, 2002)

7thswan said:


> Now you have got me thinking, dh does most of the shopping I'll ask hm. But it struck me as strange;my neighbor girl called and asked me if I had any lunch meat for a sandwich. I said no ,but do have a can of tuna,she came and got it.Just the other day she came over,said she thought she is pregnant, I said go get a test.She said no she'll go to the clinic-it's free.On the way out she said can I have this chair-)my heated vibrator chair I use for my back) I said no ,I use it. *She said, "so? I don't have one.*"


That really is a worrisome statement. Are you friends with her mother, is her family like this?
And I don't think I'd be letting her inside any longer.


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## beaglebiz (Aug 5, 2008)

ChristyACB said:


> That's the true benefit of my two beagles. They have the hugest voices and they sound truly aggressive because of the way their natural voices are. In truth, they are tiny little love puppies. Nonetheless, people don't approach my house without getting an earful.



Beagles, they are not just for snuggling!!!

My Betsy is almost 15, and has lost most of her teeth, but look out if someone steps foot on our property....if she is indoors, she barks her head off, if she is on walkabout, she turns into the fiercest looking elderly beagle you ever saw.


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## 7thswan (Nov 18, 2008)

AngieM2 said:


> That really is a worrisome statement. Are you friends with her mother, is her family like this?
> And I don't think I'd be letting her inside any longer.


No, her family isn't like that, they work for themselves and very hard at that. I'm woundering if she wants to take the easy road. I think she's going thru some kind of rebel stage, seems to have a hard time keeping a job,dosent't know what she wan'ts to do with her life. Found out it wasen't so easy to just become-a photographer,artist, ect. Kinda like kids that just think they will become the next star off American Idol, Basketball Hall of Famer.....


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## Mutti (Sep 7, 2002)

Well, we have to padlock our garage,barn, gates,chicken house or we'd be robbed blind. Pretty frightening to hear the dogs and find strangers helping themselves to our chicken feed. For a while we thought things were disappering in the garage/freezer . Another neighbor found two men in his garage who "claimed" to be just looking at his vintage Corvette. Another came home to find everything of value gone...lives at the end of the road where someone wouldn't be seen robbing him...same house my son lived in and left after getting tired of sleeping with his gun! Sure they were. This is meth country so I'm not surprized as burgularies are common. It sure is a hassle to have to carry keys at home! We have our own neighborhood watch system and strange vehicles are reported to each other. Sad way to have to live.

Dont understand what stupid clerk allowed somebody to return diapers 3x in a row...what excuse do you use? My baby is potty trained now and I don't need them???? I worked in a "ghetto" nursing home and think I've heard most of the scams for getting money back at stores...some I just couldn't believe. Guess I'm pretty naive...led a sheltered life but toughning up fast!

Our dogs,especially our spooky Pyrenees keep the place well guarded now


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## unregistered29228 (Jan 9, 2008)

About two weeks ago I was leaving a grocery store parking lot and had to wait for traffic to pass before I could pull out. A raggedy looking man walked up to my window and gestured for me to roll it down. Yeah, right. I shook my head NO and kept checking for traffic so I could pull out. He knocked on my window and yelled "I need money! Just $5!" I ignored him, but verified where my purse was - covered with a jacket on the seat and containing my handgun. He got in front of my car so I couldn't leave and knocked on the hood. I blew my horn a long blast to draw attention to us, and he angrily whacked my car and walked quickly away. I was really starting to feel afraid, and wondered whether I'd have to use my handgun. I'm so glad I have my CCW permit and always have my handgun with me. 

We haven't had any trouble with people borrowing, stealing or asking for things since we live pretty far out and know the neighbors on all sides. But I do feel the day will come when someone drives up our long driveway to have a look around and maybe get out and snoop in the barn.


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## lorian (Sep 4, 2005)

When we lived in the burbs of Chicago we had people that would come to our church and although they wouldn't ask for a handout in church, they would try to get the phone #'s of people that would want to befriend them. We got calls at all hours of the night for requests for $20.00 for whatever "emergency" they made up.

But almost every request we got, whether at our doorstep or by phone or whatever had the same story attached to it....."My Aunt (or mother, Uncle, sister) was in an accident and I need money to get to the city and see her". HAHAHAHA....we were amazed at how uncreative the druggies were, they always used the same story...all of them! 

My husband hired some people that begged for a job for a few days....BIG mistake!
Always the same, after a week or so they would either A) Show up drugged or drunk B) Steal tools and pawn them (Hubs always found them) or C) Call him from jail and ask for a bail out. 

Twas a good education for two country raised people like us to live in the city for awhile. Now that we are back in the country we can spot the criminals pretty quickly when they show up out here. 

I really feel for the Amish and Mennonite population out here. They are terrible at spotting shysters, and more easily "taken". With what is coming in the near future, I fear for them.


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## lorian (Sep 4, 2005)

And to the OP, did the diaper shyster get caught? Did you report her? Just curious...


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## JuliaAnn (Dec 7, 2004)

That's what I was wondering. If I had hung around a store long enough to see a couple of scam artists in action, I would have asked to see the store manager and brought the scam to his/her attention. Most stores have surveillance videos too. 

We appear to be fortunate in that we don't live somewhere with neighbors and strangers knocking on our doors, wandering our property stealing, and etc. wanting something for nothing. I suppose there is some merit to living in the woods after all. There may be drugs, and an occasional bad neighbor, but they immediately and quickly learn to leave us alone. You get what you put up with to a certain extent.


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## secretcreek (Jan 24, 2010)

Great...I look like Mrs. Santa Claus before she went gray...and I live in a rural area/state's poorest county: with highest unemployment...and I help run a food pantry. I look like an easy target! People come to the food pantry and ask if we can pay their bills. Sorry...just have food kits. I do not work the food pantry alone.

I don't have a gun yet...I do carry a very sharp,large folding knife, and leatherman, but it'd take a minute to fish them out and open them up as "protection". (I carry a machete on trips). Time to re-think how I carry these. 

I'm careful to watch where I park particularly at big box stores ( local gas station everybody knows each other...people still leave their cars running (((unattended))) around here...) but, if a guy came up to me "requesting" anything with a knife, I'm thinking I should make a huge scene,yes? I do have a big voice. Hit the panic button on the keys I'd have in hand? 

The third week of Feb, I saw a woman at Aldi's short on cash... sift thru her groceries and pick out some items and paid for them, leaving the rest in a cart. I was bagging my stuff when I saw her behind me. She walked to the exit, I asked the check out clerk if she left her food due to being short on $$. Clerk said "Yes". Well, it was basics: flour, sugar, chicken thigh pkg, couple cans of fruit, etc.. I said: "Ring that stuff up quick like, please, and I'll pay for it.." She looked so withdrawn and sad. Clerk said "What if she's gone?" I said "Well,I guess I'll have more stuff to put away at home then!" He zoomed! I did catch her at her car trunk, talking to her elderly father and mother. I pulled up next to her side, said "Looks like you left this in the store...and I put the stuff in her trunk" She was in a tired looking-fog to begin with, but sputtered "thank you so much"...I patted her shoulder and off I walked....smiling inside that I was in a position that day to do something for someone unexpected. Now, I would not have done that normally, but she hadn't chosen junky food at all, but staple-basics. And when I got to her car, I saw she was with senior citizens who needed help just to think. 

-scrt crk


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## ChristyACB (Apr 10, 2008)

secretcreek said:


> Great...I look like Mrs. Santa Claus before she went gray...and I live in a rural area/state's poorest county: with highest unemployment...and I help run a food pantry. I look like an easy target! People come to the food pantry and ask if we can pay their bills. Sorry...just have food kits. I do not work the food pantry alone.
> 
> I don't have a gun yet...I do carry a very sharp,large folding knife, and leatherman, but it'd take a minute to fish them out and open them up as "protection". (I carry a machete on trips). Time to re-think how I carry these.
> 
> ...


Good for you! That is the kind of good deed I think many of us would do in a heartbeat.


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## texican (Oct 4, 2003)

We apparently have Mexican beggars in a local grocery store. They approach you and say "I'm hungry". I tell them they're in the right spot... surrounded by food. They really only want the money. Talked to the manager, and they live a block away, and he can't spend ten minutes chasing them down and evicting them every afternoon when school is out. Said don't give them anything, and maybe they'll go elsewhere.

If you don't rid yourself of leeches, you'll always have em... I'd not be able to sleep at night, if all the leeches I see regularly knew where I lived.

Locks are only for honest folks... dogs are much better for keeping evil at bay. After the flag goes up, I fear dogs will only get to warn of evil, once. At that point, after the first 'barker' goes down... so will every leech. With a $10 set of drive bits, two 18v portable tools, and a few minutes, I can bypass any lock ever made. I'm not a thief... just had to get around some of my own boo boos... (losing locks, locking myself out of the house, truck, etc.) I'm not a pro... just imagine how easy it would be for one, that had no compunction about taking out a dog with a muffled .22lr bullet.

I don't doubt for a minute that those current leeches with serious entitlement issues won't be 'asking', once law and order have disappeared... they'll be taking. Resist, and your just a speedbump in the way of their instant gratification.


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## willbuck1 (Apr 4, 2010)

Meth the rural drug of choice. Few areas are immune to the ravages of this drug. Believe me these people will do whatever it takes to get their rock if they haven't had any for a while. My buildings are all locked and I've got good neighbors but that doesn't stop the drive-by who heard on the grapevine that so and so just bought this new whatever.


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## willow_girl (Dec 7, 2002)

> This one makes me scratch my head... A girl spent the night with my grand daughter next door. The girl ask if she could take some of my groceries home with her. This girl is a teen, not an innocent child. Thankfully she only seen the tiny amounts of food I keep in my kitchen, not the storage room. I keep my storage room locked because of people like her.


Reading that made me sad.

I hope if I ever encounter a hungry child, my first thought will be, "How can I help her?" and not something similar to the above.

You all can do as you please, but I found I've never lost anything I've missed by helping someone in need. :shrug:


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## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

Haven't come across more scammers, but then I dont really go into that part of town/city. I know the food pantries in my town/county are really taxed, and a lot of ops for charitable donations--I mean a lot more charities asking, fundraisers, etc. THe Salvation Army church has the biggest community garden in town. At least in my town there still seems to be a spirit of sharing the burden and helping out? 

Someone did dump a sweet little cat here. WE already have six, but it might end up staying. A ginger female, VERY loving cat. We're fattening her up and will take to the shelter. Or maybe not. Did I say how affectionate she is?

Yeah I'm a sucker for stray cats

BTW the meth problem(stealing stuff) has gotten a lot better since they put the ephedrine on RX here in Oregon, and also you must present a driver's license when you sell scrap.


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## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

willow_girl said:


> Reading that made me sad.
> 
> I hope if I ever encounter a hungry child, my first thought will be, "How can I help her?" and not something similar to the above.
> 
> You all can do as you please, but I found I've never lost anything I've missed by helping someone in need. :shrug:


agreed, thx


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## ldc (Oct 11, 2006)

Here, there is a different thing going on at work; my co-workers come on avg. about 4 days a week, staying home Weds a lot. "Cause gas is too high". This started, and people acknolwedging what they were doing, late last year. ldc


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## Spinner (Jul 19, 2003)

lorian said:


> And to the OP, did the diaper shyster get caught? Did you report her? Just curious...


I used my cell phone and called the store. Spoke to the manager, told her the man was at the service desk at we were speaking, and the woman was in line again. The manager told me they see that all the time, there's nothing they can do about it. It's not illegal for someone to return something they don't want or need, and it's not illegal for someone to keep purchasing things and "borrowing" money from other shoppers, as long as they ask politely and don't make any threats. 

The store manager's only advice was that if you pay for something for someone, do NOT give them the receipt, then they will have trouble returning the item. A friend went further suggesting the recipient be required to sign the receipt and you keep it as a tax deduction donation.


Our gas station, at least the one I use, has good pumps that don't run over the amount paid, and they require the gas be paid before the pump will work. They also have signs telling people to stay with the pump as it runs in case the handle falls out of the gas tank. 

I'm of the opinion that we have raised a generation or two of "gimme's". Our govt handouts have conditioned them to expect things to be handed to them. Now that they aren't getting as much as they want, they will soon change from "gimme" to "taker". Dangerous times may be headed our way.




willow_girl said:


> Reading that made me sad.
> 
> I hope if I ever encounter a hungry child, my first thought will be, "How can I help her?" and not something similar to the above.
> 
> You all can do as you please, but I found I've never lost anything I've missed by helping someone in need. :shrug:


I guess I didn't make that part clear. The girl was not hungry or in need. She comes from a good family of overweight people who eat well. She just wanted what I had instead of what was at her home. 

I don't have a problem feeding someone who is hungry, but I'll not provide for a family who lives better than I do. Her father is the school superintendent, and her mother is the school secretary. I know for a fact the family makes more than 4 times the average income for this area. The salaries of those positions are announced in the newspaper yearly when the school budget is published. I can't bring myself to feel sorry for and be taken advantage of by someone that is greedy, not needy.


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## Danaus29 (Sep 12, 2005)

I've got a ready reply for anyone who asks me to lend them gas money, sell your nice shiny new car and buy something you can afford. I drive junk and never wear fancy clothes. I don't advertise if I have money, in fact most of the time I'm broke or near broke.


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## DaleK (Sep 23, 2004)

All the stores here stopped accepting returns of baby formula about 6 months ago, they were getting large numbers of cans being returned with the safety seal carefully glued back on and the cans full of flour.


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## ChristyACB (Apr 10, 2008)

DaleK said:


> All the stores here stopped accepting returns of baby formula about 6 months ago, they were getting large numbers of cans being returned with the safety seal carefully glued back on and the cans full of flour.


That is just disgusting! So then someone who husbands their money carefully will turn around and buy it in good faith. Horrible. Poor stores too...they lose too.


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## radiofish (Mar 30, 2007)

At home I don't have the 'borrower' problem... The neighbors are good about not asking unless necessary, and they will recipricate with a favor when needed..

I haven't had the gas station routine pulled on me, but being large and tall driving a vehicle with USMC stickers kind of deters the beggers from approaching me.. That and I would not hesitate to use my concealed weapon to deter those very aggressive folks demanding and not asking asking for gas, smokes, food, or money to obtain substances so that they can alter their senses..

When I was at the VA Hospital - Ft. Miley in San Francisco last week, I did get asked a couple of times for cigarettes while I was at the designated 'smoking areas'. I will pass one over, but since it is a very long ways to where one can buy a pack - and it is really tough for me to say "no" to a Vet in a wheelchair wanting to have a smoke while stuck at the medical facility for several days...

I would have a totally different attitude if someone/ stranger - were to wander onto my place asking for something.. Heaven help them if I ever catch a burglar in-the-act again!! Since I know that a typical response time for the Sheriff's Deputies is over 40 minutes, when they know that I have a person detained at gunpoint.


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## calliesue (Sep 5, 2009)

We were at Costcos this weekend and looking for the coffee grinder, the clerk told us they keep it in the front of the store now, cause people would take expensive coffee grind it and put in a cheaper brand's bag which they had emptied out. So now you have to buy it first and then grind it. I was so shocked by this. People are so nervy.


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## Trixters_muse (Jan 29, 2008)

willow_girl said:


> Reading that made me sad.
> 
> I hope if I ever encounter a hungry child, my first thought will be, "How can I help her?" and not something similar to the above.
> 
> You all can do as you please, but I found I've never lost anything I've missed by helping someone in need. :shrug:



I help people in need on a regular basis, people who are TRULY in need, single moms on a budget, families who have lost their jobs or their homes to a disaster, elderly on a fixed budget. I am just opposed to giving handouts to people who refuse to help themselves or who seem to WANT but not necessarily NEED. I was being too generous and giving anything to anyone who asked for it, now I make sure that they really need it before it leaves my hands. I won't turn away a hungry person down on their luck but I will not give my food or goods to someone too sorry to work for their own or who wants to take from me so they can use their money for drugs or junk.


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## bluemoonluck (Oct 28, 2008)

In my neighborhood everyone seems to know everyone's business. Most of my neighbors are LDS and because of the Ward system everyone in the neighborhood who is LDS will attend the same church....and they talk while they are there.

I ran into someone I didn't even know lived in my neighborhood at the bank - he was the teller who helped me send my wire transfer to pay for a stud fee. This was a long, involved process and as he was filling out the forms he recognized my address and started chit-chatting with me. This guy knew both my neighbors by name, and mentioned that he knew that it was just me and my two kids, no man in residence, etc etc. I told him "not for long - I'm getting married and moving to VA". Next day my next door neighbor was at my door because he "heard thru the grapevine" that I was moving and he wanted to know if I needed any help with anything... 

I use this to my advantage, though. I have a 100-lb Rottie and we do obedience exercises in our driveway, walk him up and down the street on Sunday mornings when everyone's heading out to church so its common knowledge that I have him. The bank teller (who I'll add doesn't even live on the same street as me) knew that I had the dog, asked me about him. I'm always careful to say that he listens to me very well but that he's a big dog and you know how Rotties are, they're protective of their people  .

Its scary to know that it is common knowledge that I live alone with two small kids, and I'm grateful that I got my Rottie shortly after moving into the neighborhood. I have to wonder if that dog is the reason I haven't found myself the target of unwanted attention.......


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## hoggie (Feb 11, 2007)

bluemoonluck said:


> In my neighborhood everyone seems to know everyone's business. Most of my neighbors are LDS and because of the Ward system everyone in the neighborhood who is LDS will attend the same church....and they talk while they are there.
> 
> I ran into someone I didn't even know lived in my neighborhood at the bank - he was the teller who helped me send my wire transfer to pay for a stud fee. This was a long, involved process and as he was filling out the forms he recognized my address and started chit-chatting with me. This guy knew both my neighbors by name, and mentioned that he knew that it was just me and my two kids, no man in residence, etc etc. I told him "not for long - I'm getting married and moving to VA". Next day my next door neighbor was at my door because he "heard thru the grapevine" that I was moving and he wanted to know if I needed any help with anything...
> 
> ...


Glad you have the Rottie but.....

I may be oversimplifying this but surely, if most of your neighbours are lds then you ohave nothing to worry about - surely they are all about preparedness etc? It may be you have been talked about as "someone who may need help at some future point"?


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## radiofish (Mar 30, 2007)

bluemoonluck - to me that would be very scary for a total stranger working at a bank having access to financial records, and to know your personal business due to his fellow church members gossiping.. That would make me quickly seek another financial instution to do business with!! Then I would write a letter to the branch manager, explaining the faux pas of their employee and why I am no longer a member of their bank. Regardless if one is in a small town surrounded by others of the same religious following! I bet that they would be all upset if you had access to their personal info, and were spreading it around amongst your friends, and they found out by repeated second hand gossip at the gas station/ bank/ store/ etc...

My neighbors know what is going on in my life (and vice versa), but it could be from my disclosing it to them as we are at the table sharing a meal.. 

But thinking of the original question of borrowing: I was brought up by my parents to never borrow something and to not return it in the same condition (or even better), than what it was in when loaned! Fill the fuel tank, clean the item, say "Thank You", and maybe even offer some sort of gesture of gratitude for the 'loan of the item'.

As my father would tell me, "then next time the folks would not flinch when they see you, or would find some excuse to say no, if you would ever ask them again in the future."


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## bluemoonluck (Oct 28, 2008)

hoggie said:


> Glad you have the Rottie but.....
> 
> I may be oversimplifying this but surely, if most of your neighbours are lds then you ohave nothing to worry about - surely they are all about preparedness etc? It may be you have been talked about as "someone who may need help at some future point"?





radiofish said:


> bluemoonluck - to me that would be very scary for a total stranger working at a bank having access to financial records, and to know your personal business due to his fellow church members gossiping.. That would make me quickly seek another financial instution to do business with!! Then I would write a letter to the branch manager, explaining the faux pas of their employee and why I am no longer a member of their bank. Regardless if one is in a small town surrounded by others of the same religious following! I bet that they would be all upset if you had access to their personal info, and were spreading it around amongst your friends, and they found out by repeated second hand gossip at the gas station/ bank/ store/ etc...


I have found that while the LDS talk the talk, they don't often walk the walk. My petsitter (who has been a good friend for many years) is LDS and he remarked once that I have more food stored then he does :shocked: He said he was reminded of his failure to supply per the church's guidance after he pet-sat at my house the first time. And about half of my preps are hidden in places he wouldn't have seen, he was just commenting about what was visible in my kitchen.

Talking to other LDS here at work, I have found that they largely do NOT prep and they are full of excuses (since we had the last baby....forgot to rotate stock and things went bad....until we get a raise I'm living paycheck to paycheck....etc). They will go on and on about how the Church says you should have 1 full year of food for every family member, but almost none of them have more than a few weeks worth of preps, if that. My boss has commented that he's working his way up, and he's got almost 2 months now, and he was met with high-fives all around :shrug:

I was more concerned about the bank teller because he kept commenting about how expensive my dogs must be....the stud fee was for 2 breedings and was several thousand US dollars (going to England, to be converted into GBP). I was afraid that I was making myself an easy target, because he clearly thought I must have money to burn if I was willing to spend this much of it on stud fees alone. Was asking how much I sell them for, how many litters I have every year.....lots of questions I deflected as best as I could. We have had some break-ins in my neighborhood and I was nervous that I could be targeted because I have "expensive" dogs.

He also could see, I'm sure, that the money was recently transferred in from another bank (my ING account holds my "dog money") so he knows that I don't have all my funds in the bank that he works for. He didn't comment on it, but he had my records on his screen for over 30 minutes so it was there for him to see. 

I didn't think much of it, actually, but this past weekend my other neighbor did knock on my door and tell me about the food drive that the neighborhood is doing. He said it was an annual thing, but I didn't get any notices about it last year. So either they forgot me last year (not being LDS I don't go to their church and I do miss a lot of announcements) or I could start getting paranoid :TFH:


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## ChristyACB (Apr 10, 2008)

Blue - That borders on creepy stalking behavior. Quite frankly, if I were you I'd make an appt with the ward president and lay it out for him. The intrusion, the overt taking advantage of connected knowledge....the illegal misuse of legally confidential information to inform neighbors of your financial situation. 

That is just plain illegal all the way around. What a cult...looking for their next brood mare, no doubt. 

If the ward president doesn't immediately apologize profusely for this sort of heavy handed behavior, I'd go to the cops and file a complaint. And definitely talk to the bank. It is flat illegal on a federal level for them to share even the slightest hint of your finances and clearly inappropriate for the teller to creepy-stalk you on your costs.


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## kirkmcquest (Oct 21, 2010)

Oh boy...I don't like the sound of any of this. I haven't noticed any asking/begging/or stealing...but then again I'm pretty 'out of the way'.


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## SquashNut (Sep 25, 2005)

I have some things ear marked to help, if some one really needs it. But I feel I have to make sure it goes to some one who really needs it. If I pass it out to a mouch, then it is gone. Over, kerflunk.
Because we prep, we are now the stewards of the help we can give. If we refuse the help to some one that is our choice and no one elses. No one elses right to judge, if we made the right desision or not.


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## bluemoonluck (Oct 28, 2008)

ChristyACB said:


> Blue - That borders on creepy stalking behavior. Quite frankly, if I were you I'd make an appt with the ward president and lay it out for him. The intrusion, the overt taking advantage of connected knowledge....the illegal misuse of legally confidential information to inform neighbors of your financial situation.
> 
> That is just plain illegal all the way around. What a cult...looking for their next brood mare, no doubt.


When I moved in, my one neighbor came knocking at my door. Asked me if I needed directions to the ward church, told him no thanks. He asked if I had already visited or if I needed the name of our Bishop, told him I wasn't LDS. He seemed shocked and blurted "well, then what are you?" I was sorta taken aback but instead I went with my old fall back lie of "we're jewish." He said "oh, that's ok, we're okay with jews."  Um, thanks?

Then he said he had heard that I was moving in alone (from where?) and wanted to know if he should expect to see my girls' father around at all. I have a restraining order against that man, so I told him "absolutely not, and if you see any strange men around my house you need to call 911 right away." That one made his eyes bug out a little bit, but he recovered well and stopped asking nosy questions. And it was good that the topic had come up, I guess, because I really am paranoid about him finding us, so at least that put my neighbor on alert.

He did insist on helping me move in, and because of the shape my shoulder is in (its ruined) I accepted. So to his credit the next day he and all the boy scouts in the local troop showed up and had all the boxes off the truck and into my house in record time. They really wanted to help me unpack, and it took quite a bit of talking on my part to convince them that was unnecessary (creepy alert!).

I really think since most people here are LDS and they are a close-knit community (each ward is a universe onto itself) that they don't think twice about this kind of questioning or this level of nosyness. Being an outsider I don't want to make waves or bring attention to myself more than I have to.

The "no soliciting" sign on my door has kept door-knockers at bay, but I really expected to have missionaries sent to my door when I moved in and have to say that I never had that problem.

ETA: I also believe that the LDS do a fairly good job of taking care of each other. Each ward has a food bank that the Bishop can distribute to members in exchange for volunteer work with the church. As long as you are an active member and you tithe they will help people pay their bills if they fall on hard times. Even non-members can ask the church for help - you just have to listen to the standard missionary spiel about the faith and volunteer more time than members would, from what I understand. So maybe that will help keep people from knocking on my door, at least until the SHTF that is.


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## texican (Oct 4, 2003)

I think Bluemoonluck's situation is very common. The local gossip telegraph system never died... there is very little about one's life that isn't known throughout the community. I see people I haven't seen in years, and they know a heckuva lot about me (but not the prepping... I dare not spill those secrets, even to my blabbering sisters... one would burn through that knowledge with every leech she met, unwittingly, of course). I saw a fella coming out of Wally's on Friday.... can't recall ever seeing him before... called me by name... and wanted to know how the gas business was going... :indif: ouch.

I do spread off handed throwaways about the LGD's terrifying the Census guy last year, about them killing hogs and dragging them up, and attacking my nephew... [was a weener dog that grabbed my nephew, but I figure she's a guard dog too, if only a SGD.] Also the horrible road... to dissuade casual visitors....


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## bluemoonluck (Oct 28, 2008)

texican said:


> I think Bluemoonluck's situation is very common. The local gossip telegraph system never died... there is very little about one's life that isn't known throughout the community. I see people I haven't seen in years, and they know a heckuva lot about me (but not the prepping... I dare not spill those secrets, even to my blabbering sisters... one would burn through that knowledge with every leech she met, unwittingly, of course). I saw a fella coming out of Wally's on Friday.... can't recall ever seeing him before... called me by name... and wanted to know how the gas business was going... :indif: ouch.
> 
> I do spread off handed throwaways about the LGD's terrifying the Census guy last year, about them killing hogs and dragging them up, and attacking my nephew... [was a weener dog that grabbed my nephew, but I figure she's a guard dog too, if only a SGD.] Also the horrible road... to dissuade casual visitors....


I agree, its really such a part of the culture here - everyone is in everyone else's business. You should hear the conversations at my DD's dance class! Its a few towns over, so a different Ward than where I live, but those women talk about everything - last week was "did you see so-and-so carrying that new tv thru the front door? He didn't tithe at all last year because of hardship, but now he can afford a tv?!?" They're stay-at-home Moms (another cultural thing here IME) and I have to wonder if they are watching and counting the number of grocery bags that people carry thru the door too....

I never let the neighbors in my house, we have all our talks on my front porch. I make sure to roll my eyes and tell them "the dog doesn't like people he doesn't know in the house". I have played up big-time the fact that the dog is large and in charge. If they think the dog rules the house, they may seek an easier target. Of course I'm the alpha in the house and the dog follows my rules, but the neighbors don't need to know that!


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## suitcase_sally (Mar 20, 2006)

7thswan said:


> Please don't take this offensively. I'd like to know, why don't we as a country pass out Birth Control.


Yeah, it's not like we are an endangered species or anything.


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## Txrider (Jun 25, 2010)

bluemoonluck said:


> Its scary to know that it is common knowledge that I live alone with two small kids, and I'm grateful that I got my Rottie shortly after moving into the neighborhood. I have to wonder if that dog is the reason I haven't found myself the target of unwanted attention.......


I wouldn't be too scared.. Several of the men around my neighborhood know which houses have single moms, My neighbor's hubby recently left her for example.... Then there's a the single airline attendant behind me, the 85 year old gal down the street, and the 75 year old gal a street over..

We make it a point to look out for them, as well as the few very elderly around the neighborhood. I walk my dog around daily, and I keep an eye on strange vehicles around, the scrappers that come through looking for old appliances and such...

You probably have a whole little network of folks keeping an eye out for anything nefarious going on that you don't even know about..


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## cast iron (Oct 4, 2004)

calliesue said:


> We were at Costcos this weekend and looking for the coffee grinder, the clerk told us they keep it in the front of the store now, cause people would take expensive coffee grind it and put in a cheaper brand's bag which they had emptied out. So now you have to buy it first and then grind it. I was so shocked by this. People are so nervy.


I'll be darned, I always wondered why they put that coffee grinding machine up front after you go through the checkout stands. I always figured maybe the machine was not reliable or the customers frequently required help to run the thing.


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## RebelDigger (Aug 5, 2010)

secretcreek said:


> Great...I look like Mrs. Santa Claus before she went gray...and I live in a rural area/state's poorest county: with highest unemployment...and I help run a food pantry. I look like an easy target! People come to the food pantry and ask if we can pay their bills. Sorry...just have food kits. I do not work the food pantry alone.
> 
> I don't have a gun yet...I do carry a very sharp,large folding knife, and leatherman, but it'd take a minute to fish them out and open them up as "protection". (I carry a machete on trips). Time to re-think how I carry these.
> 
> ...


OK that's it! You are my official Monday hero! That was just really nice of you!


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## cast iron (Oct 4, 2004)

secretcreek said:


> She walked to the exit, I asked the check out clerk if she left her food due to being short on $$. Clerk said "Yes". Well, it was basics: flour, sugar, chicken thigh pkg, couple cans of fruit, etc.. I said: "Ring that stuff up quick like, please, and I'll pay for it.."


Outstanding. The World could use more people like you. I'm a firm believer in Karma, and acts of kindness like this will pay you back in the future.


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## bluemoonluck (Oct 28, 2008)

Txrider said:


> You probably have a whole little network of folks keeping an eye out for anything nefarious going on that you don't even know about..


Meh, IDK about that. I had my entire shoulder reconstructed last summer, walked around in a massive foam-encased sling for 3 months. Nosy neighbor saw me one day struggling to get the 55-gallon trash drum down to the street for trash day (I didn't see him until I turned around to go back up the driveway or I would have asked for a hand) with my arm in the sling, struggling and muttering, and he didn't offer any assistance. He even waved to me when I was walking back up the driveway, so I know he saw me :hrm:

Granted I didn't ask for any help, because I had my friends coming over once a week and I just did the best that I could otherwise. But still, you see someone in a sling struggling with a heavy trash can and you don't offer to help? That's just downright un-neighborly IMO.

They also said nothing when I patched things up with an ex-boyfriend (now my fiance) and he started making trips to Utah to visit me. He was outside doing chores, very visible, both when I was home and when I wasn't. Nobody said a thing when he showed up :shrug: (and he's not my girls' father, so he's not the one I have the restraining order against, in case y'all were worried).

Seems to me they pay attention when it suits them to do so. But I could be wrong.... I'd think a man at my house would be a juicy piece of gossip!!


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## secretcreek (Jan 24, 2010)

Who knows, I may have been entertaining angels that day? Just hope I pass all of God's tests... I feel bad for even posting that...why I did post it was to say that not all people who run short of $$ are scammers and shame shame shame on the ones who are and prey on the kindness of people.


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## PhilJohnson (Dec 24, 2006)

bluemoonluck said:


> I agree, its really such a part of the culture here - everyone is in everyone else's business.


I think it is part of the culture in small town USA. The community I live in has a particularly bad rap about gossiping. I've heard some pretty far out stories about what I've been up to (dealing drugs, stealing, ect). One of my siblings has a poor choice in associates and can't seem to stay away from the bars. Here anyway the bars are a breeding ground of gossip. I wound up moving farther away from town which has been a good thing. I don't go to town for anything and have chosen to do all my business elsewhere to avoid gossips.


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## MO_cows (Aug 14, 2010)

Part of it is just small towns. Everybody knows everybody's business. Soon after we moved near a small town (we live a few miles outside city limits), I went to register my son for school. The school secretary, who I had never met, already knew by sight who I was, knew who my son was, and knew who babysat him. So I was leery of banking there, but we haven't had any incidents of "loose lips" from our banking transactions. Working at the bank is considered a gravy job in that town, and I think the clerks are happy to keep their mouths shut about the clients and not endanger their jobs. But whose teenage daughter is pregnant and who's getting divorced, etc., are all well discussed in town. 

On the flip side, that is why there is less crime in a small town. You have to be anonymous to get away with most crimes; not possible in a small community. And people help each other, too, where in the city we had neighbors we had never even met. So I'll take the gossip along with the good stuff.


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## FourDeuce (Jun 27, 2002)

I would not expect things to get better any time soon, either. Word is trickling down that the Federal government is cutting deeply into all the aid programs they can. Some of them are being cut out entirely, so people who were depending on them will be worse off than they were before.:hrm:


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## JanS (Jul 28, 2002)

Txrider said:


> I wouldn't be too scared.. Several of the men around my neighborhood know which houses have single moms, My neighbor's hubby recently left her for example.... Then there's a the single airline attendant behind me, the 85 year old gal down the street, and the 75 year old gal a street over..
> 
> We make it a point to look out for them, as well as the few very elderly around the neighborhood. I walk my dog around daily, and I keep an eye on strange vehicles around, the scrappers that come through looking for old appliances and such...
> 
> You probably have a whole little network of folks keeping an eye out for anything nefarious going on that you don't even know about..


I know people do this for us. If a strange car has been in my driveway or a light left on at an unusual time, I guarantee it will be mentioned. When I bought a car a few years back, Next Door stopped to ask if I got a different car or....

I knew "or...." meant "has it been long enough since your husband's death that you're receiving gentlemen callers". And since I wasn't, all his single buddies were offered up for my perusal. LOL


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## cc (Jun 4, 2006)

I am so very blessed with my neighbors and where we live. We have some of the greatest folks around us, if a strange car shows up in any of our driveways the cell phones start ringing and everyone has been raised with the old adage, never return an empty plate! Lots of leftovers go home with others, "Hey, I baked a cake, made chili, soup, spaghetti, etc and made too much, want some for supper?" or I found whatever on sale at the store, can you use some? Guess since I rarely go to town I don't see the bad side of people.


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## cast iron (Oct 4, 2004)

A couple years ago I started welcoming new neighbors with a plate of cookies, a welcome, and an introduction after they got settled in a little. Of course there is a fair bit of property between the homes in this area so we are not talking about a lot of people. I have found it's important to know your neighbors (at least have met them) even if it turns out you don't end up liking them, and sometimes because you end up not liking them. 

I find that a simple introduction and being able to put a face with a name goes a long ways towards keeping relations at least somewhat friendly. Absent any kind of face-to-face meeting it leaves all kinds of room for assumptions and miss-communications. 

I am kind of surprised we have not heard more about gas theft given the high cost of fuel these days. I do hear occasional reports but you would think it would be quite prominent with gas at $3.50ish per gallon.


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## ryanthomas (Dec 10, 2009)

Wayne02 said:


> I am kind of surprised we have not heard more about gas theft given the high cost of fuel these days. I do hear occasional reports but you would think it would be quite prominent with gas at $3.50ish per gallon.


Seems like people are too lazy to steal gas around here. If you leave a full can of gas in the bed of your truck it'll be gone quick, but I haven't heard of anyone having gas siphoned out of their tanks lately.


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## JuliaAnn (Dec 7, 2004)

We keep DH's Freighliner parked out of sight, behind the barn, to keep people from the road from seeing it and getting ideas about stealing fuel. I'd really hate to have to shoot someone.


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## unregistered29228 (Jan 9, 2008)

calliesue said:


> We were at Costcos this weekend and looking for the coffee grinder, the clerk told us they keep it in the front of the store now, cause people would take expensive coffee grind it and put in a cheaper brand's bag which they had emptied out. So now you have to buy it first and then grind it. I was so shocked by this. People are so nervy.


I was at Walmart this last weekend and as my daughter tried something on in the dressing room I was talking to the lady attendant there. She said her total job is to verify what people take into the dressing room, and then check carefully when they come out. She said women have been taking those bras that come in boxes, putting their old one in the box and wearing the new one home. And people were putting small items like socks inside the legs of pants, folding them so the price label showed, and betting that the cashier wouldn't shake them out at the checkout. I know some people are desperate but the thefts at our local Walmart have gone through the roof over the last year. I've found empty boxes from pregnancy tests on the shelves, and bags of socks that were torn open and one pair missing, etc.


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## Aintlifegrand (Jun 3, 2005)

ldc said:


> Here, there is a different thing going on at work; my co-workers come on avg. about 4 days a week, staying home Weds a lot. "Cause gas is too high". This started, and people acknolwedging what they were doing, late last year. ldc


I have seen that as a pattern at work.. most call outs occur the few days before payday..when people have run out of money and gas.


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## Spatula (Feb 10, 2010)

I used to live in a large house with roomates in a big city here, near downtown. We were all young & naive, but then one evening 3 of us were talking and discovered that we had all 3 given "bus fare" to the same guy at different times, same exact story every time. Around that time we also had 2 bikes "walk away" from the porch, and since word had gotten around found more people coming up and knocking on the door asking for money. 
What we did was put together a single printed sheet of paper that had the addresses & phone numbers for the local homeless shelters, local shelters that worked with poor people, AIDS ministry, etc, and started giving that out to people with no money or anything. It was sad how many of those we then found crumpled up at the edge of the yard.

And that was in the late 90s. We left that house a year or so later when within a week every single car on the block got broken into over 2-3 nights, which was the last straw.


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## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)

Gas prices are already $5 a gallon here and still rising daily, but I haven't heard of any gas thefts. I have noticed that many people in the neighbourhood are driving their cars less often, leaving them parked and doing more walking, cycling or using transit systems. 

All the grocery stores and farmers markets have big signs up now warning about rising food prices and advising about what kinds of fresh produce shortages will be expected in the immediate future. I was asking around some of the stores yesterday if they'd noticed an increase in shop lifting but there hasn't been.

The garden centers are very busy already and lots more people are getting their kitchen gardens turned over sooner than usual getting them ready for spring planting.

I guess most folks around here are just taking it all in stride and being frugal with their spending.

.


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## secretcreek (Jan 24, 2010)

ryanthomas said:


> Seems like people are too lazy to steal gas around here. If you leave a full can of gas in the bed of your truck it'll be gone quick, but I haven't heard of anyone having gas siphoned out of their tanks lately.


It's-siphoning is happening in my "neighborhood" ( a rural highway stretch of homes)... The neighbors all got together to talk about security issues on our three mile stretch of highway "neighborhood" last fall. Most had a story of finding people on their land ( spotlighting white tails, shooting deer for fun and leaving the doe dying or injured with a fawn at their side..., or trying to take a beef calf. Then there's new couple who've been scamming folks pretending to be housecleaners/handyman folk...but they steal items and have been caught multiple times...I don't get why they are not in trouble yet!!!!! Everyone watches for their beater Blazer and we all know they can only drive forward (messed up tranny) so, blocking them in and a confrontation seems to have worked so far. My cousin in law brought an old, non working gun to her knocked upon front door at 3 am and it was this couple...stuck in a ditch below my house (my dog kept them away). Her brandished, piece of junk scared them ( and she's a mighty big, street savvy woman). 

-scrt crk


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## 7thswan (Nov 18, 2008)

suitcase_sally said:


> Yeah, it's not like we are an endangered species or anything.


Sorry sally, I'm notorious for being "unclear". I was wondering why we the USA dosen't send BC instead/with food to starving countries. If people are too poor to feed their families, BC would help the cituation.


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## olivehill (Aug 17, 2009)

BlueMoon said:


> Granted I didn't ask for any help, because I had my friends coming over once a week and I just did the best that I could otherwise. But still, you see someone in a sling struggling with a heavy trash can and you don't offer to help? That's just downright un-neighborly IMO.


I'm not excusing him for not helping you but honestly, I'm VERY slow to offer help to anyone I don't know well regardless of the situation. I have a mean independent streak that probably crosses the border into blatant idiocy with some of the things I tackle "by myself" because I don't "need help" and it drives me CRAZY when people try to help if I haven't asked for it. People who are handicapped, minority groups, etc have problems with that a lot and I think a lot of people see women and single mothers as part of that so don't offer help because it's a round about attack on their independence. 

Now, it is hard for me to imagine not helping a neighbor if I saw them in that position but we know all of our neighbors well so I know how they would feel about me helping them. It doesn't sound like you've been particularly overly friendly with yours, so maybe he just didn't want to make it seem like he thought you were helpless on your own. 

I don't know. I just don't think every time someone chooses not to help someone else they're doing so maliciously, being a bad neighbor, etc.


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## bowdonkey (Oct 6, 2007)

We've had a family of "borrowers" living under the floor boards since I can remember.


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## Txrider (Jun 25, 2010)

olivehill said:


> I'm not excusing him for not helping you but honestly, I'm VERY slow to offer help to anyone I don't know well regardless of the situation. I have a mean independent streak that probably crosses the border into blatant idiocy with some of the things I tackle "by myself" because I don't "need help" and it drives me CRAZY when people try to help if I haven't asked for it. People who are handicapped, minority groups, etc have problems with that a lot and I think a lot of people see women and single mothers as part of that so don't offer help because it's a round about attack on their independence.
> 
> Now, it is hard for me to imagine not helping a neighbor if I saw them in that position but we know all of our neighbors well so I know how they would feel about me helping them. It doesn't sound like you've been particularly overly friendly with yours, so maybe he just didn't want to make it seem like he thought you were helpless on your own.
> 
> I don't know. I just don't think every time someone chooses not to help someone else they're doing so maliciously, being a bad neighbor, etc.


I usually ask if someone needs help, once or twice, I may not ask again depending on how they answer...

Kinds why a lot of guys don't open doors for gals much, had their head bit off or an evil eye too many times.. I tend to just shrug it off and laugh...

I'm not that overly friendly with my neighbors.. But I have told them call the cops if they see any vehicle besides mine here when mine isn't here and such, and I do keep an eye out for things going on.

It is different. In the city here only one person came and said hello when I bought this place... It was a while before I met the rest of the neighbors around me and I had to go out and meet them. When I bought my place out by the little town of maybe 500 people every neighbor within a mile or three came by to talk the first weekend..


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## wantabunch (Jan 7, 2008)

naturelover said:


> All the grocery stores and farmers markets have big signs up now warning about rising food prices and advising about what kinds of fresh produce shortages will be expected in the immediate future..


What fresh produce shortages are they talking about? Is it things like oranges that were hit by frost?


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## Ernie (Jul 22, 2007)

I think some of you need to cultivate whatever aura it is about me that keeps strangers from pestering me. My wife has a name for it, but it's unprintable. 

Seriously though, I don't normally find myself in these sorts of situations. Is it because I'm a man? A hairy man? An ugly, rough-looking man? I'm not entirely sure. I think that some people do respond to the "helpless" look some women have and then cross boundaries they wouldn't normally cross. I know I've been guilty of the same.


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## bowdonkey (Oct 6, 2007)

Ernie said:


> I think some of you need to cultivate whatever aura it is about me that keeps strangers from pestering me. My wife has a name for it, but it's unprintable.
> 
> Seriously though, I don't normally find myself in these sorts of situations. Is it because I'm a man? A hairy man? An ugly, rough-looking man? I'm not entirely sure. I think that some people do respond to the "helpless" look some women have and then cross boundaries they wouldn't normally cross. I know I've been guilty of the same.


Can you expound Ernie?


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## Ernie (Jul 22, 2007)

No. 

Those of you who have seen me will understand. That's enough.


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## 7thswan (Nov 18, 2008)

Ernie said:


> I think some of you need to cultivate whatever aura it is about me that keeps strangers from pestering me. My wife has a name for it, but it's unprintable.
> 
> Seriously though, I don't normally find myself in these sorts of situations. Is it because I'm a man? A hairy man? An ugly, rough-looking man? I'm not entirely sure. I think that some people do respond to the "helpless" look some women have and then cross boundaries they wouldn't normally cross. I know I've been guilty of the same.


Ah ya,thanks Ernie. I got the dumb blond look with Stupid written across my forehead, sometimes it says Sucker. But only **^%##%^* can see it. Can't tell how many times I've heard " boy you are really smart" or "you can_____ really good for a Girl" how about " I never thought you would be so nice". And people wounder why I like animals so much.


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## bowdonkey (Oct 6, 2007)

Ernie said:


> No.
> 
> Those of you who have seen me will understand. That's enough.


LOL! I have relatives in the Morton/Peoria area. Maybe I'll drop by when we go down for a visit and see for myself.:runforhills:


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## Wags (Jun 2, 2002)

I spent several years of my childhood living in the bush in Africa - I am very adept at giving beggars the cold shoulder. I rarely if ever get asked for "help". Hubby is the soft touch. His response now is "go ask my wife" and that usually sends them packing.


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## Ernie (Jul 22, 2007)

7thswan said:


> Ah ya,thanks Ernie. I got the dumb blond look with Stupid written across my forehead, sometimes it says Sucker. But only **^%##%^* can see it. Can't tell how many times I've heard " boy you are really smart" or "you can_____ really good for a Girl" how about " I never thought you would be so nice". And people wounder why I like animals so much.


I was on a flight to New Jersey once and I sat next to this pretty young college student. She started up a conversation about how nervous she was getting on a plane. I chatted with her a bit and explained some of what the plane was doing and she calmed down. Before we landed she was telling me how she didn't imagine she'd find her way around in the big airport, etc. I told her it was no problem for me to take her over to the baggage carousels. She was thrilled. This poor young thing had clearly never left the sanctuary of her small world. 

As we were coming down the escalator, she mentioned she was originally going to be flying back with her college boyfriend but he had to cancel at the last minute. She was disappointed her parents wouldn't be meeting him. Almost on cue as she was telling me that, we looked down to the bottom of the escalator where an older couple, clearly her parents who were meeting her at the airport, were standing. Apparently she hadn't informed them that her boyfriend had canceled and their faces upon seeing their young, naive daughter approach them in the company of a middle-aged, bearded hillbilly is a sight I will treasure and laugh about until my dying day.


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## olivehill (Aug 17, 2009)

I don't think it's a man thing or a hairy thing, Ernie. I'm neither hairy, nor male and I don't have borrowers/beggars/strangers approaching me. I think it's a disposition thing/looks thing. I've been told by many people I have a "mean face". People I have known but not interacted with in the past who have then got to know me through situations where we actually interacted with one another, not just passing on the street, in the store, in a hall, etc. have come to me and said "I always thought you were such a b****, but you're not. It's just the way you carry yourself." Or the way I look at people or... On that same token a mentor early in my career once pulled me aside and said "Do you own ANYTHING besides red and black?" The answer was no, I didn't but I just asked her why instead and she said "Because you're intimidating enough as you are, the red and black make you more intimidating to people." I didn't stop wearing my favorite colors, but did start paying more attention to people's reactions... it's an "aura" just as you describe it. A look, a demeanor... something.


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## jlrbhjmnc (May 2, 2010)

7thswan said:


> Sorry sally, I'm notorious for being "unclear". I was wondering why we the USA dosen't send BC instead/with food to starving countries. If people are too poor to feed their families, BC would help the cituation.


The United States does give out artificial birth control here and all around the world via various agencies. It exports abortion by promoting it through funding the UN. The United States DOES promote birth control and abortion.


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## bourbonred (Feb 27, 2008)

Yeah, some folks just look gullible. (I'm sometimes one!) Wouldn't it be a hoot to try to match faces with screen names on HT. After reading someone's responses for a couple of years, you probably would have a good chance at success.


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## Tracy Rimmer (May 9, 2002)

7thswan said:


> Sorry sally, I'm notorious for being "unclear". I was wondering why we the USA dosen't send BC instead/with food to starving countries. If people are too poor to feed their families, BC would help the cituation.


Because in many of those countries children are the parent's future support, so the more, the better. The more children they have that survive into adulthood, the more money (earning power) there will be to support them in their dotage.

Not to mention that cultural and religious beliefs in most of those places forbid it.


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## melissa78 (Oct 14, 2010)

My response lately has been, "...I gave my extra to the food pantry, try there."

We have seen an undeniable troubling trend in our area from folks who have migrated to here from the NYC area because, sadly, they have found a willing morket for drugs.


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## yikes (Jan 23, 2011)

Ernie said:


> Apparently she hadn't informed them that her boyfriend had canceled and their faces upon seeing their young, naive daughter approach them in the company of a middle-aged, bearded hillbilly is a sight I will treasure and laugh about until my dying day.


LOL great story!


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## cast iron (Oct 4, 2004)

The Craigslist murderers are finally going to trial here in WA. The whole story is worth a read if you are unfamiliar with what happened. Craigslist dealings is just another area where one should exercise some caution and due-diligence from a safety/security standpoint.



> Jim Sanders seemed excited the evening of April 28, 2010.
> 
> He and his wife, Charlene, were preparing to go on vacation in a few days, and someone was interested in buying a diamond ring the couple had been trying to sell.
> 
> ...


Read more: http://www.thenewstribune.com/2011/03/01/1565637/wife-and-sons-testify-about-the.html#ixzz1G2EtKwx9


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## 7thswan (Nov 18, 2008)

Ernie said:


> I was on a flight to New Jersey once and I sat next to this pretty young college student. She started up a conversation about how nervous she was getting on a plane. I chatted with her a bit and explained some of what the plane was doing and she calmed down. Before we landed she was telling me how she didn't imagine she'd find her way around in the big airport, etc. I told her it was no problem for me to take her over to the baggage carousels. She was thrilled. This poor young thing had clearly never left the sanctuary of her small world.
> 
> As we were coming down the escalator, she mentioned she was originally going to be flying back with her college boyfriend but he had to cancel at the last minute. She was disappointed her parents wouldn't be meeting him. Almost on cue as she was telling me that, we looked down to the bottom of the escalator where an older couple, clearly her parents who were meeting her at the airport, were standing. Apparently she hadn't informed them that her boyfriend had canceled and their faces upon seeing their young, naive daughter approach them in the company of a middle-aged, bearded hillbilly is a sight I will treasure and laugh about until my dying day.


Lol,well atleast she Trusted someone Trustworthy!


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## 7thswan (Nov 18, 2008)

olivehill said:


> I don't think it's a man thing or a hairy thing, Ernie. I'm neither hairy, nor male and I don't have borrowers/beggars/strangers approaching me. I think it's a disposition thing/looks thing. I've been told by many people I have a "mean face". People I have known but not interacted with in the past who have then got to know me through situations where we actually interacted with one another, not just passing on the street, in the store, in a hall, etc. have come to me and said "I always thought you were such a b****, but you're not. It's just the way you carry yourself." Or the way I look at people or... On that same token a mentor early in my career once pulled me aside and said "Do you own ANYTHING besides red and black?" The answer was no, I didn't but I just asked her why instead and she said "Because you're intimidating enough as you are, the red and black make you more intimidating to people." I didn't stop wearing my favorite colors, but did start paying more attention to people's reactions... it's an "aura" just as you describe it. A look, a demeanor... something.


I'm pretty stumped at why Gay Women seen to think I'm "available/gay"-especially when with I'm with my Dh?


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## secretcreek (Jan 24, 2010)

olivehill said:


> I don't think it's a man thing or a hairy thing, Ernie. I'm neither hairy, nor male and I don't have borrowers/beggars/strangers approaching me. I think it's a disposition thing/looks thing. I've been told by many people I have a "mean face". People I have known but not interacted with in the past who have then got to know me through situations where we actually interacted with one another, not just passing on the street, in the store, in a hall, etc. have come to me and said "I always thought you were such a b****, but you're not. It's just the way you carry yourself." Or the way I look at people or... On that same token a mentor early in my career once pulled me aside and said "Do you own ANYTHING besides red and black?" The answer was no, I didn't but I just asked her why instead and she said "Because you're intimidating enough as you are, the red and black make you more intimidating to people." I didn't stop wearing my favorite colors, but did start paying more attention to people's reactions... it's an "aura" just as you describe it. A look, a demeanor... something.


My grandmother (Middle TN) is 94 now, but in her 70's and 80's liked to take a drive and walk a paved area near a rural river boat launch . We'd make our rounds and if a vehicle pulled in she'd say "Look ugly." I'm not sure if she meant physically "not beautiful", or meant, as "ugly in the south means: "not nice"... Maybe she meant both? LOL We still repeat that "Here comes a car, look ugly!"... 

Only one of the above I have trouble with, is looking "not nice"... I stink at being mean unless someone mistreats me or someone I love...adrenaline surges and I am in your business. Years ago, I took a self defense class with my young daughter and surprised everyone with how strong and forceful I could be...I refused to be a wimp...I really hit the instructor hard ( or the dummy) when he told me too. I needed to know how forceful to be. My daughter took my example and learned not to crumple. I'd worked with her about /common sense and attitude over size...with horse care. I grew up with horses...you don't let them boss you around, or you are going to get hurt. I now have 250lb goats and I am the herd leader in their eyes-evidently the UGLY herdleader :hysterical: They know if they challenge me ( the 2 yr old boys always do) I will drop them and sit on them until they quit squalling and are embarrassed/sorry. Glad I at least have that in my favor...since I look fairly soft, round and slow....heading real quick into the sweet, chubby "Granny-wants to feed you dinner, honey!" looks. :help:
YIKES.
-scrt crk


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## GoldenCityMuse (Apr 15, 2009)

It is pretty easy to tell who really wants food, and who wants to take for their habit. A few times we have given food to people to eat, and they were happy to eat it.

Directing folks to food pantry's is the best thing to do.


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## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)

wantabunch said:


> What fresh produce shortages are they talking about? Is it things like oranges that were hit by frost?


Yes, certain types of produce and meats from other countries that were hit by earthquakes, floods, drought, freezing, etc. during the past year. It was mostly specialty products that we import from many different countries during the winter and spring, most are specialty items that are also produced here on farms, orchards and greenhouse-farms in the growing seasons (except for bananas & citruses of course). It won't be too great a hardship to do without them (or probably just pay extra $ for them) for a few months til our own crops here are up, including what we export of our own to other countries. We do a lot of import/export with many, many countries so I don't think it will be too bad here.

.


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## olivehill (Aug 17, 2009)

7thswan said:


> I'm pretty stumped at why Gay Women seen to think I'm "available/gay"-especially when with I'm with my Dh?


I had a coworker once who I went out to lunch with on a pretty regular basis. We're both women and I swear to you I can't even count how many times people acted like they thought we were a couple. And since they always seemed to think I was paying I gather I must have been the "man" in the relationship. :shocked: It became kind of a running joke between us to see whether or not the waitstaff, cashier or whatever would think we were lesbians. Still have no idea why. I had never before and have never since been mistaken for a lesbian by anyone, but was when with her all the time.


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## Ernie (Jul 22, 2007)

olivehill said:


> I had a coworker once who I went out to lunch with on a pretty regular basis. We're both women and I swear to you I can't even count how many times people acted like they thought we were a couple. And since they always seemed to think I was paying I gather I must have been the "man" in the relationship. :shocked: It became kind of a running joke between us to see whether or not the waitstaff, cashier or whatever would think we were lesbians. Still have no idea why. I had never before and have never since been mistaken for a lesbian by anyone, but was when with her all the time.


Heh. I used to work with this one gay guy. We weren't close friends, but one day we went to lunch. Apparently he knew the waiter who was also about as gay as one could be. The waiter approached, looked me over and then looked at his friend and said, "Hun, you can do BETTER."


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## Forerunner (Mar 23, 2007)

Ernie, upon perusing through the thread I was inspired to share my impression of you, having spent some time suffering under your sense of humor, etc...... at times, for hours on end. 
But, having read your own several self-representations herein-referenced, I submit that I am powerless to elaborate in any meaningful way.

I suppose I could say that, upon first impression of Ernie, one might have eerie visions of Borat crossed with Julius Henry "Groucho" Marx.


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## partndn (Jun 18, 2009)

fyi y'all, there are a few pics here and there on this board and Ernie is a beautiful man. Yea, he's attractive, but beautiful because of his wisdom and firm resolution that keeps a peaceful calm even in battle. A skill not easily practiced, and imho, comes from a High Source. Anyway..

A friend and I were approached by a woman a few months ago, in the Charlotte Airport area. She appeared normal as far as clothing, bathing, etc. She had a detailed story about how she just arrived in town, was to attend community college in Charlotte, and needed a few dollars to keep her motel room for the night. She even described her dog she had brought with her and how concerned she was if the dog had to stay out in the cold weather. My friend and I offered little cash, 2 or 3 dollars each, as neither of us were carrying much cash.
Turns out, about 4-5 weeks later, I came out of a gas station in the same area, and that same woman came up to me with her story again, without mentioning the dog. I recognized her right away, and said I didn't have any money, but wanted to ask her how the dog was doing! LOL 
Okay, she was a scammer clearly. 
I don't let it bother me. I remember my preacher saying one time in reference to any giving to food banks, soup kitchens, strangers like this lady, whatever: if we decide to give something, we must also give the decision to judge away and let God take care of that. We are not to worry about it. 

I liked that statement and it keeps me at peace with whenever I have to make a decision on this kind of thing. When this happens to me now, if I give something, I put it straight out of my mind as to what they might do with it. 

I am concerned however, about the ideas some of the posts indicate that more and more people will refrain from _asking_, and move toward taking! My solution for that's been worked out for quite some time now.  I have lots of "defense" but still am striving for CC cert which is still on my to-do list.


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## Ernie (Jul 22, 2007)

Well, partndn, I'm sure you made Forerunner fall off his stump laughing with your description of me. But thanks. 

On the note of your last paragraph, I think we're reaching a point where people realize that the game is up and they're going to try to get what they can before it's gone. Sort of a last mad scramble in musical chairs. Be ready.


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## megafatcat (Jun 30, 2009)

I think that onlt in TX can you shoot to protect 'stuff'.


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## radiofish (Mar 30, 2007)

Ernie said:


> Heh. I used to work with this one gay guy. We weren't close friends, but one day we went to lunch. Apparently he knew the waiter who was also about as gay as one could be. The waiter approached, looked me over and then looked at his friend and said, "Hun, you can do BETTER."


Ernie - wasn't that a big boost, to your self-esteem?? 

Today I went shopping for sale items at Staples, and was asked by 3 seperate persons for 'spare change', before I could get from the store doors out to my vehicle which was parked close to the doors in one of the "blue" handicapped spaces. I asked them if I look as if I have extra money, while pointing my straight cane at them. At least I did not have to draw my CCW weapon, due to any aggressive panhandlers today. Yet I did not wear a USMC cap to town today. Instead I was wearing my 'Detroit' cap, and I guess those young'uns (20-somethings with no obvious disabilities) don't know what happens in the Motor City (one of the country's most dangerous cities).


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## olivehill (Aug 17, 2009)

Well, darnit, now I want to see a picture of Ernie...


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## ryanthomas (Dec 10, 2009)

I think it's the way you carry yourself that keeps strangers from approaching. I am not big or scary-looking at all. I'm a pale, skinny, clean-cut guy and I rarely have anyone ask me for money or anything. I don't know exactly why, I think it's just something in the way I walk. Strangely enough, when I'm in the city I do have drug dealers approach me fairly regularly asking what I need. I must give off some kind of shady vibe.


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## Sweetsong (Dec 4, 2010)

I wanna see a picture of Ryan Thomas to see what the drug dealers are thinking. LOL


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## Ernie (Jul 22, 2007)

radiofish said:


> Ernie - wasn't that a big boost, to your self-esteem??


Yes! How does one argue (as a straight man) that you WOULD indeed be a prize catch for a gay man? 

A few weeks later he asked if I wanted to go to lunch again. I said "No way. Someone will think I'm gay." He rolled his eyes at me and replied, "Not dressed like that they won't."


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## Tracy Rimmer (May 9, 2002)

Ernie said:


> A few weeks later he asked if I wanted to go to lunch again. I said "No way. Someone will think I'm gay." He rolled his eyes at me and replied, "Not dressed like that they won't."


What is it with gay dudes and fashion sense?


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## mpillow (Jan 24, 2003)

*lmao*

blending....for survival


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## chickenista (Mar 24, 2007)

Ernie said:


> I think some of you need to cultivate whatever aura it is about me that keeps strangers from pestering me.
> 
> 
> > I have that aura as well.
> ...


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## hippygirl (Apr 3, 2010)

When I was in the hotel business, people used to show up at all times of the day with the story that they ran out of gas/broke down and needed to borrow money. Not only would they come to the desk and ask the staff, but they'd also approach guests in the parking lot or knock on their room doors. We'd call the police, but they did absolutely nothing about it.

There was this one woman who I'd ran off countless times...the last time she came around, I told her yet again to get off the property. She started yelling and cursing at me and that was the last straw. I chased her on foot off the property and told her if I ever saw her again, I was going to beat the snot out of her...I never saw her again. 

So...if you're ever in a hotel and someone comes at you with that sob story, you've been warned.


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## JuliaAnn (Dec 7, 2004)

"Look ugly". Hah, I can testify to that.

Demeanor has a WHOLE lot to do with it, at least for women. For most of my adult life I have been told two completely different things people percieve about me. Either I "look like a really sweet person" (the words are almost always ver batim) OR I "look really mean". I don't think I have ugly features, but neither am I gorgeous. I guess my face is just kind of plain looking. I don't look like a lesbian either. I stopped dying my hair and let it go gray. No makeup anymore. I'm not tiny but neither am I fat. I would describe myself as wide shouldered and strong. I learned how to shut people down just by looking at them. Was told by a guy where I worked that my mean look would curdle blood. I have always been somewhat stern by nature, and I was able to take that innate characteristic and enlarge on it. However, to those I like, I can be sweet and nice.

So I guess if a person learns how to effectively cultivate an aura, it can be quite useful.


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## texican (Oct 4, 2003)

7thswan said:


> Sorry sally, I'm notorious for being "unclear". I was wondering why we the USA dosen't send BC instead/with food to starving countries. If people are too poor to feed their families, BC would help the cituation.


Unfortunately, welfare doesn't work.... either locally or globally. Send food to starving people in countries that cannot now and will never again be able to support such large human populations, and the first thing that happens is they get their jiggy on, and make more humans, that westerners will have to feed.

It's a vicious circle.


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## texican (Oct 4, 2003)

Ernie said:


> No.
> 
> Those of you who have seen me will understand. That's enough.


From one hairy man to another, I totally understand!


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## lathermaker (May 7, 2010)

I don't have too many panhandlers bother me. I guess it's because I'm a Big Amazon woman with a contrary attitude when provoked. I get down right teed off when some scummy weasel thinks that they have a right to just take whatever they want because they don't want to have to work for it. I've been known to tell a weasel to get lost before they even start on their spiel. My sisters think that I should "be nice" telling them no ..uhhh don't think so.

With the way things are declining, I'm wondering if I should get a concealed weapon permit. I do a lot of traveling by myself. What are the requirements for getting a permit?


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## Ernie (Jul 22, 2007)

I DO believe in charity. I just think it's a thing to be given and not a thing to be sought after.

I was walking with an acquaintance in Chicago this last winter and I was approached by a fat, black woman wearing nice winter gear. She claimed she was homeless and needed help. I said, "If you're homeless, it must be your first day" and I rendered no aid. About three blocks later we came across an old man sitting there against a wall. He had a cup in front of him and a small sign reading disabled vet. You could look at him and tell that something wasn't mentally right with the poor guy. I had no cash so I gave him my wool gloves. 

The acquaintance resolved from these two encounters that I must be a racist. I just rolled my eyes. I simply believe that, with limited resources available to give away, we must husband those resources and give them only to those who can use them the most or to where they can be applied most freely and without restrictions.


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## Forerunner (Mar 23, 2007)

Ernie said:


> I DO believe in charity. I just think it's a thing to be given and not a thing to be sought after.
> 
> I was walking with an acquaintance in Chicago this last winter and I was approached by a fat, black woman wearing nice winter gear. She claimed she was homeless and needed help. I said, "If you're homeless, it must be your first day" and I rendered no aid. About three blocks later we came across an old man sitting there against a wall. He had a cup in front of him and a small sign reading disabled vet. You could look at him and tell that something wasn't mentally right with the poor guy. I had no cash so I gave him my wool gloves.
> 
> The acquaintance resolved from these two encounters that I must be a racist. I just rolled my eyes. I simply believe that, with limited resources available to give away, we must husband those resources and give them only to those who can use them the most or to where they can be applied most freely and without restrictions.


....wherein lies the beauty of charity by choice rather than taxation/welfare by force. Have any of you ever met a bottom rung bureaucrat ?
Those who have, just ask yourself..... Is this the quality of individual that I want handling my charitable efforts in this world ?


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## oregon woodsmok (Dec 19, 2010)

The biggest problem that I see about the beggars and scam artists is that they suck up the aid that should be going to people who really need help.


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## Txrider (Jun 25, 2010)

Tracy Rimmer said:


> Because in many of those countries children are the parent's future support, so the more, the better. The more children they have that survive into adulthood, the more money (earning power) there will be to support them in their dotage.
> 
> Not to mention that cultural and religious beliefs in most of those places forbid it.


The catholic church being at the leading edge of that...


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## Txrider (Jun 25, 2010)

I don't get approached often, but I sometimes do. I'll tell em no nicely enough, and then I'll turn hard real fast if they don't move on.. I don't so much mind em asking, but I don't tolerate rudeness. I'll tell person to leave in no uncertain terms.

But now and then someone comes up with a panhandling story so good, and acts it so well, or a such a hilarious routine, they get a little jackpot.. Kinda like an oscar award.. I figure hard work and talent is worth a few bucks for the entertainment.

The worst place I think I have ever been for that kind of thing was Buffalo N.Y. a few years back. Must have been staying close the county jail and a couple of shelters or something.


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## Danaus29 (Sep 12, 2005)

There's one intersection I pass regularly that has the same guy standing there holding a "Please give homeless God bless" sign or some days he has a "will work for food" sign. I looked at his work boots. They cost more than I usually make in a week and they are in really nice shape, practically brand new. His coats aren't raggy and cheap looking either, in fact the one he was wearing last time was in better shape than mine. I won't ever give him money, especially not since that area is usually covered with aluminum cans and he isn't disabled so logically he could go around picking up the cans to sell for scrap. I would pick them up if I could walk that much. 

On the flip side I have seen people who are obviously not right and down on their luck. While they never ask me I have given them some money. It's funny though, people always come and ask Pop for money and dh has been asked (but never when I've been sitting right beside him) but I have been asked for money only once. That was by a bum who used to hang out around the K-mart parking lot in Grove City. The first time he approached me he made the mistake of doing it when I was strapping a child into a car seat. I whirled around with my fist raised and a "die for touching me" look on my face. He backed off real quick. Once after that he approached dh but backed off when he recognized me. 

The ones that tick me off are the ones who set around holding signs that say "disabled please help" but their shoes are not worn unevenly, they have no obvious deformities, they aren't on oxygen, they obviously walked there and there are no nearby homes, they are dressed nice and they have soft hands. Those people scream "professional bum" and they don't even realize it.

I'm kind of glad I have a mean face. Lots of bums around here. I would be willing to give someone a decent wage and a hot meal in exchange for good hard work but I don't trust any of those soft handed bums to know which end of the hammer to use. And I sure wouldn't want the lawsuit for them getting a blister while using my shovel.


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## radiofish (Mar 30, 2007)

lathermaker said:


> I don't have too many panhandlers bother me. I guess it's because I'm a Big Amazon woman with a contrary attitude when provoked. I get down right teed off when some scummy weasel thinks that they have a right to just take whatever they want because they don't want to have to work for it. I've been known to tell a weasel to get lost before they even start on their spiel. My sisters think that I should "be nice" telling them no ..uhhh don't think so.
> 
> With the way things are declining, I'm wondering if I should get a concealed weapon permit. I do a lot of traveling by myself. *What are the requirements for getting a permit?*


Well it all depends on where you live...

Usually one has to pass a detailed background check, attend classes on firearm safety and the laws of the use of deadly force for your state, and then going to the firing range to show proficency with your weapons..

You will get fingerprinted, pay your fees, then wait for the DOJ (Federal Dept. Of Justice) background check. It all is OK, then your license or permit would/ should be issued. 

Unless you live in Illinois or Wisconsin... 
Then so sorry, but those 2 states do not issue CCW to their citizens..

If you are in Alaska, Arizona, or Vermont: Then their citizens can legally conceal carry weapons without a license..

Most of all check with your local law enforcement agencies!!!!


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