# What's the Worst Thing About Living with You?



## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

*Shrek* posted a thread about green flags and red flags and asking us to think about what things we might consider being "go" signals toward a relationship instead of "stop" signals. I almost replied to that thread, but really, I figure they're all pretty much green flags until I hit a red one.

But that got me to wondering, what might someone say are _my_ red flags? In short, what would my partners say is the worst thing about living with me?

So I asked one who was in a position to know. I will post the novel here when it is complete. That is, if HT has enough available disk space. 

Seriously, he said that sharing a bathroom was annoying because I am "too fastidious." He's right -- the toilet seat dealio is a big thing to me.

Also, I snore.

Oh. And I remember my late husband complaining that the food was always too spicy. Hey -- at least he didn't have to cook it himself! 

*Just for fun*... what's the worst thing about living with you?


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## COSunflower (Dec 4, 2006)

I like my personal freedom and need a lot of time to myself for sewing, reading etc. I don't like anyone planning my day out for me. I'm slow, procrastinate and take my time. I LIKE being single and living on my own.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Im the worst thing about me.

Ill ask the X next time I talk to her lol


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## Clem (Apr 12, 2016)

I have Mickey mouse gloves I wear all the time, and can't stop myself from using the Peter Sellars "Dr Strangelove" character voice when telemarketers call. 

Just kidding!! I could never find those kind of gloves! 

In reality, I've been on the back burner so long I'm overdone and have turned rancid. If you know what I mean.


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## Echoesechos (Jan 22, 2010)

Oh man probably so many things I would scare me.. the longer I'm on my own the more I tend to think my way or the highway. Listening to someone snore, passing gas in my bed, yelling at my kid or family, animals or at me just isn't in my cards anymore. So a lack of willingness to exert myself on a relationship I'm not sure I want. I like my time to be my time. I have to work up to extending my off times to other's. Selfish I guess. Need my downtime.


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

Clem said:


> I have Mickey mouse gloves I wear all the time, and can't stop myself from using the Peter Sellars "Dr Strangelove" character voice when telemarketers call.
> 
> Just kidding!! I could never find those kind of gloves!
> 
> In reality, I've been on the back burner so long I'm overdone and have turned rancid. If you know what I mean.


You kill me.


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

so many things. but first and foremost who would want to put up with a workaholic like me? no one at this point especially one my own age. another thing I do when I stop working is read. I have a book in every room. I might have 4 or 5 books going at one time. and I read out loud. always have . it was so funny when my bro. visited we both sat down with our books and in a very little while we were both reading out loud. dad was the same way. nah! I'm a lost cause! ~Georgia


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Echos, U say you cant stand farting in bed. Me either. I always lay down. I think its disgusting when I do that lol Smells bad too lol


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## WolfWalksSoftly (Aug 13, 2004)

Nothing !

[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCsNunGnqE0[/ame]


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

My former roommate said she misses having me around because I made her laugh all the time......usually at rather than with me.:huh:

Like the time I popped a handful of what I thought was mixed nuts in my mouth, turned out to be catfood.....I ran outside where she was talking to a neighbor, spitting and swearing.

I did learn to wear my glasses more often.

One of many, many stories.


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## Ellendra (Jul 31, 2013)

I'm eccentric and unpredictable. I have a talent for saying or doing exactly the wrong thing. Ever seen Benedict Cumberbatch's portrayal of Sherlock? I watch the first 2 seasons over and over again, just to analyze what my behavior looks like from the outside. Except that his obsession is with solving crimes where mine is with self-reliance.

No matter how hard I try, I can't get the hang of social situations. So I avoid them.

If that isn't enough, I'm also territorial, disorganized, and have a tenancy to clutter up whatever open spaces I have available.

Probably a good thing I don't date.


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## Nsoitgoes (Jan 31, 2016)

I am a procrastinator. If there isn't a deadline looming over me it just isn't important enough. Also, like Nehi, I actually like living on my own.


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## lazyBum (Feb 27, 2012)

Women get tired of me way before moving in together. Before the first date too.


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## Darren (May 10, 2002)

I hear you. But do they cross the street to avoid passing you on the sidewalk?


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## tambo (Mar 28, 2003)

I like having my own house to go to when I don't want to be around anyone else. When I married the second time is when I figured that one out. I always said, I would get away from myself if I could sometimes. I guess I'm getting better because I haven't thought that in a long time. I don't put up with no BS (bull snot) any more either.


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## Bret (Oct 3, 2003)

Just for fun? Nothing I write will now or ever be used against me? I make piles of little things on the table when I get home--to do lists, shoe polish, yes, I carry boot polish in my hip pocket like snuff, two sets of keys, a truck key and a tractor key, gum, clippers, a frog...no that's when I was eight. Sometimes my to do notes spread out like go-fish for a few days. I'm pretty self centered and set in my ways and my ways can change directions at any moment without notice. I spend a lot of time keeping up with the ranch, violin and piano. People who don't like the pain of music gain and dance would not like being in my universe. I can get lost in it for hours


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## Clem (Apr 12, 2016)

Raeven said:


> You kill me.


After 3 mistrials, I think that it's time to put that unproven allegation to rest. Not hardly my fault all the witnesses kept disappearing. Alien abduction, maybe. 
But, yeah, that's another bad thing about living with me...a ladykiller. Literally. (My new favorite word, literally, as I try to transition into my new life as a "valley girl"killer.)


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

Clem said:


> After 3 mistrials, I think that it's time to put that unproven allegation to rest. Not hardly my fault all the witnesses kept disappearing. Alien abduction, maybe.
> But, yeah, that's another bad thing about living with me...a ladykiller. Literally. (My new favorite word, literally, as I try to transition into my new life as a "valley girl"killer.)


I never gave you my actual address, did I?


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## Clem (Apr 12, 2016)

Oregon.


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

Too close for comfort. :shocked:


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

I wake up singing and whistling. Underneath is great sadness. How's that for horrible?


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## Clem (Apr 12, 2016)




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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

> *Just for fun*... what's the worst thing about living with you?


I pee with the bathroom door open.
I talk to my dogs, and myself....
Things in the cabinets are faced, and FIFO (first in first out) is strictly enforced.
If there is a problem, something is broken, etc; I am a get to the root of the issue and fix it / eliminate it. 
I like to talk it out, work it out. 
Fix it. 
I do not like to repeat myself.
I ask a lot of questions.


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## Shrek (May 1, 2002)

Raeven said:


> *Shrek* posted a thread about green flags and red flags and asking us to think about what things we might consider being "go" signals toward a relationship instead of "stop" signals. I almost replied to that thread, but really, I figure they're all pretty much green flags until I hit a red one.
> 
> But that got me to wondering, what might someone say are _my_ red flags? In short, what would my partners say is the worst thing about living with me?
> 
> ...


 She and I have many quirks that the other dislikes, but we have just as many facets that endear us to each other. For us none our quirks is so large that our his and hers home safe zones about 8 miles apart cannot overcome. :shrug:


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

Laura Zone 5 said:


> I pee with the bathroom door open.
> I talk to my dogs, and myself....
> Things in the cabinets are faced, and FIFO (first in first out) is strictly enforced.
> If there is a problem, something is broken, etc; I am a get to the root of the issue and fix it / eliminate it.
> ...



Good lord! I thought mine was bad.


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

vicker said:


> I wake up singing and whistling. Underneath is great sadness. How's that for horrible?


This is pretty horrible. I couldn't even "like" it, because it made me sad. :huh:


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

Shrek said:


> She and I have many quirks that the other dislikes, but we have just as many facets that endear us to each other. For us none our quirks is so large that our his and hers home safe zones about 8 miles apart cannot overcome. :shrug:


LOL, more and more every day, *Shrek*, I'm beginning to come around to your way of thinking.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

I am a poor wayfaring stranger.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

God, I lost a dear person in my life yesterday. My older sister's husband died. He's left a huge hole, the breath that I'm just, kinda, beginning to grasp. He was a carpenter, a gentle soul, unassuming and brilliant. I knew him, close, for nearly 50 years and never once saw anger in him. ---- it, I am sad. I'm not ----ting for sympathy, I know y'all will poor it out, I just want to say I lost a great person. 
I cry and laugh with equal ease. I ain't always pretty.


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## Clem (Apr 12, 2016)

I too am a poor strangler. A pee poor one.It's my attention span. Look! it's something shiny! I actually prefer shinny, which implies long legs.


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## Clem (Apr 12, 2016)

Sorry, Vicker. I'm just goofing around tonight.


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

Dang Vicker, I am sorry :-(


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

You're right, *vicker*, we will all pour whatever salve we are able on your emotional wound... that's what friends do, and maybe that's why you're here sharing with us tonight. 

I hope you'll accept the empathetic sorrow sent your way in that spirit, meaning we all care for you in the way folks who have laughed, played and cried together always do. I am so sorry. I know what it is to lose someone very dear and the huge hole they leave. I'm glad you feel enough at your ease in this place to share your true feelings, and I hope we can buoy you up through your sorrow at least a little. You may not always be pretty, but you are always real -- and that makes you special, indeed.

My hugs and all good thoughts to you.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

He had a little cancer on his left shoulder late last century, no health insurance, and never told a soul. He came to WV and helped me build a house in 2003 and again in 2009. He was bleeding and I never new it. I wonder how many times I hugged him or slapped his back and hurt him. 
It finally came to light nearly three years ago. He had a cancer on his shoulder bigger than my hand, his collar bone fell out and his shoulder bones were necropsied. 
I changed his bandages every day. I cut them firewood...
 I'm just really surprised at how sad I am. I knew he was dying. I went to work this morning and had to come home. Ive been crying all day.


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## Shrek (May 1, 2002)

Raeven said:


> LOL, more and more every day, *Shrek*, I'm beginning to come around to your way of thinking.


I have read some psych articles that suggest healthy couples living in the same house with kids generally only enjoy 15 to 20 minutes of intimacy per day and that includes all one on one time because the studies consider household chores and also tending to the needs of any children a sort of chore.

In our situation we have both gone through our normal raging hormone and family rearing phases of our 20s to 40s and our morning breakfasts at the cafÃ© a couple times a week as she is going to work allow us about 45 minutes a day of married couple grade intimacy quality time and our 3 or 4 nights out together during the week are still young love style date nights of varied intensity when she isn't sent onsite with her job.

When she does have to travel with her job our catch up date nights are all that much nicer.

In between our breakfasts and date nights, we both relish our own privacy and "me time". 

Sometimes I wonder if men and women are even wired to live together after their nests have emptied out except for the occasional grandparent weekend with the grandkids.


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## CajunSunshine (Apr 24, 2007)

Very seldom does junk food darken my doorway...everything in my kitchen is wholesome, mostly organic, from-scratch cooking, no boxes, cans and the like. To someone who is not used to a healthy diet, it could be a culture shock?

Of course, a Cajun can make it all taste righteous! (But, once in a great while I go ga-ga over junk, but it doesn't last long.) 

I have tons and _tons_ of books. I could insulate my entire house with them if I wanted to. Out of hundreds and hundreds of books, maybe three are non-fiction. I love to learn about anything and everything under the sun. Floor to ceiling bookshelves everywhere...it's a sickness but I love my precious books! Nutz, I know...there's the internet, so why all the paper books? Oh, the internet! I read my eyeballs off there too. Kindle too. 

I like to avoid trouble at the pass. If I hear an unknown noise in my vehicle, or smell a weird smell in my house, I don't rest easy until I have found and fixed the source. 

Zero tolerance for bugs and vermin in the house. I have sealed off every possible entry point with steel wool. Not scared of them just repelled by them because they are unsanitary. Flies send me into orbit for the same reason. Especially in the kitchen. I don't rest until they are dead. Quite a spectacle I am. I think this could be annoying to some people. ("Gaaah, lady! Give it a rest already!")

I love other people's cats, but do NOT like cats in or around my house. They jump on the kitchen counters and table and plop their hineys where I prepare food. And almost all outside cats eventually contract toxoplasmosis, which is transferrable to humans. And cat crap in my food garden just weirds me out.

If I go into a bookstore, hardware store or sporting goods store, I can spend HOURS in those places. Heaven help anyone unlucky enough to be with me. I (and everyone else I know) prefer that I go alone.

I love frogs. Every year I find tadpoles and raise them up to be resident bug catchers in the garden. Spend hours fooling around with them.

Speaking of gardening, I just don't know when to quit. Have gardened many times by truck headlights. Supper? What supper? Help yourself to last night's leftovers.

No TV. I hate the sounds they make: Big business getting all in my face, loudly...just about everything has violence anymore...rampant immorality... What passes for entertainment is so shallow. I trashed my TV decades ago. (I do watch selective stuff on YouTube, and selected movies on DVD during those rare times I don't have anything better to do.)

I have more hobbies than what is normal. Always making or doing something! Not enough hours in a day!

I like to have a little space...I don't do well with having someone around 24/7/365. 



.


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

That's a pitiless, painful death. And so senseless, too. Had it been treated when the cancer first started, he very likely would still be with you all today. I'm sure that's part of what is making you so sad, *vicker*.

Everyone grieves in their own way, but I've always thought it was healthy to get the feelings out and face them down head on. I think that's your way, too. 

I know you'll honor the outstanding person he was by keeping him close in your heart always. He does sound like he was a rare gem.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

I'm burying this here on purpose. You guys are my friends. 
http://www.dukesharleyfuneralhome.c.../3875299/lud/5008CDDFF56CCF621E14925043551663


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

vicker said:


> I'm burying this here on purpose. You guys are my friends.
> http://www.dukesharleyfuneralhome.c.../3875299/lud/5008CDDFF56CCF621E14925043551663


I can see from the smile and his forthright countenance that he was a straight shooter and a genuine soul. That's a moving tribute to a good man. Thanks for sharing it. 

I hope the memorial service is cathartic for you and all your family as well. I'll bet you are going to hear a lot of special stories.


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## CajunSunshine (Apr 24, 2007)

(((((Vicker))))) I just now saw your post after I posted mine...

I feel your pain, bro. I am so very sorry you are hurting. I am praying for peace for you.



.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

Raeven said:


> That's a pitiless, painful death. And so senseless, too. Had it been treated when the cancer first started, he very likely would still be with you all today. I'm sure that's part of what is making you so sad, *vicker*.
> 
> Everyone grieves in their own way, but I've always thought it was healthy to get the feelings out and face them down head on. I think that's your way, too.
> 
> I know you'll honor the outstanding person he was by keeping him close in your heart always. He does sound like he was a rare gem.



Out patient surgery and a couple hundred bucks. Anyone of many would have paid it. By the time anyone knew it was far too late. He was a very beautiful person. I'm mourning hard.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

I have peace. I'm just very sad for our loss.


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## CajunSunshine (Apr 24, 2007)

Tears mean healing. 

No tears = no healing. 

I will share something Rae once said to one of us who was grieving in this very same forum, "One day pain will not be the first thing you feel. Rather, you will smile to remember all you shared...and the pain will recede to a gentler ache. No one can take their place, but we are fortunate to have traveled a time along their road."

Although not directed at me at the time, those words have comforted me during several losses of my own. Here's hoping that they do the same for you too.


.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

We are beautiful.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

I'm going to haul my charcoal cooker over there in the morning and I'm just going cook.


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## Allen W (Aug 2, 2008)

vicker that really sucks, sorry for your and your families loss.


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## Bret (Oct 3, 2003)

Good Stuff Your Way Vicker...for all...


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## Nsoitgoes (Jan 31, 2016)

I am so sorry for your loss, Vicker. Please accept my condolences.


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## frogmammy (Dec 8, 2004)

vicker said:


> I'm burying this here on purpose. You guys are my friends.
> http://www.dukesharleyfuneralhome.c.../3875299/lud/5008CDDFF56CCF621E14925043551663


That man smiles with his soul.

Mon


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

I'm thinking of you Vicker! ~Georgia


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Sorry for your loss friend.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

I shut myself in my house and cried all day yesterday. I'm much better today. I didn't know I loved him that much. Thanks everyone.


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## Nsoitgoes (Jan 31, 2016)

vicker said:


> I shut myself in my house and cried all day yesterday. I'm much better today. I didn't know I loved him that much. Thanks everyone.


It seems inappropriate to "Like" that comment, so I'll just send you gentle hugs. I hope you feel a little better soon.


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## Twp.Tom (Dec 29, 2010)

My heart goes out to You Vicker.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

I'm much better. How..lifelike it is that I had him so long and just took it for granted. I never even held him in high regard. He was just a simple man and my bro in law.  kinda like coffee grounds. He did know I loved him.
I'm sorry for hijacking the tread, and grateful for the privilege.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

vicker said:


> Good lord! I thought mine was bad.



I have a huge crush on you. Haha! We are so opposite. I think you would put daily knots on my head, and I'd smilingly rub them.


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

vicker said:


> I'm much better. How..lifelike it is that I had him so long and just took it for granted. I never even held him in high regard. He was just a simple man and my bro in law.  kinda like coffee grounds. He did know I loved him.
> I'm sorry for hijacking the tread, and grateful got the privilege.


Not one shred of a need to apologize for "hijacking" the thread. This is just a silly thread, and grief needs to come out where and when it comes out. Please don't apologize for that -- or anything else, ok?


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

I don't much feel apologetic, just appreciative.


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## Echoesechos (Jan 22, 2010)

That was probably one of the most eloquent and moving tributes I've read. I feel as though I know him and whoever wrote it showed their love and appreciation to your brother in law.

So sorry for your loss. Expressing your feelings like you have sheds light on him. ((HUGS))


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## Bret (Oct 3, 2003)

vicker said:


> I don't much feel apologetic, just appreciative.


Thanks Vicker...you helped me find words to my living flight plan--not sorry for anything, just grateful for everything


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## Rick (May 10, 2002)

I get angry and upset too easily so says Jakesgranny (my DW)
!


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