# Planning to switch to homeschool next year



## rhondajk (Apr 1, 2008)

Hi, my name is Rhonda and I have been lurking around HT for a while now. I have a 7y/o 2nd grader who is not working up to her potential in her current public school. I have met with the teacher and the building leader several times this year and have been frustrated with the response. 

Heather is very intelligent and is capable of reading at a 5th grade level by the schools assessments but they use AR reading and refuse to let her get books above 3rd grade because they feel the subject matter may not be appropriate for her. She has pretty much shut down and is doing the minimum necessary to get by. She still reads at home but it is only books that interest her, the current favorite is Minnesota road guide to haunted locations. Not exactly what I would choose for her either, but it has lead to many new words in her vocabulary and looking up the various locations around the state. As well as discussions about ghost and what I believe related to the supernatural.

Recently she stopped bringing home the only homework that she ever has, it is a 6 problem math work sheet they get each night. It started during some of the snow days we had and I really didn't catch on until a couple of days later. When I asked her about it she said basically, it's stupid and I hate math, and anyway the teacher doesn't care. I contacted the teacher to find out what was going on and found that she hadn't even noticed and apparently did not care, as the work was not graded. I told her I thought it was important that Heather not be allowed to just stop doing the work sheets and asked her to please speak to Heather about it and remind her to start bringing them home. After another day of not bringing it home I gave Heather the choice, bring home the worksheet or do "mommy math" each day.
She did not bring it home so I started giving her a work sheet of 10 problems each night. They are 2 digit addition and subtraction problems requiring carrying. She usually only misses one on each worksheet, but spends a longer time than it takes her to do the work, whining and telling me she hates math.

I think she is bored with the classroom work and has learned that the teacher really doesn't care. I am sure we are going to keep her out next year and homeschool. I am in the process of researching our options and plannning some deschooling for the summer.

One of the options available to us in Minnesota is K-12 virtual academy, this is sponsored and recognized by the state, it is a no cost program that meets all of the state standards but offers individual placement in those areas that she excells in. Does any one here have any experience with it? I know it is not homeschooling but I am looking at it for a bridge into our own program as well as time to see if we can make this work without purchasing an expensive cirriculmn and finding we are not able to use it.

I am a working mom but have arranged my schedule so that I only work 12 hours a day Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Her dad is disabled and is home working around our place and available to supervise and possible help with teaching some subjects. She does very well with a set routine and clear expectations. I would also add some activities that we are not currently doing to provide socialization for her, girl scouts and 4H are available and she would be able to take piano or guitar lessons also.

Sorry this is so long, I wanted to give you all some background before I asked for your ideas, suggestions, and personal experiences. I have ordered some books through the libary about homeschooling and would also appreciate if you could share any specific titles that have helped you in your families journey into home school.

thanks, Rhonda


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## Tracy Rimmer (May 9, 2002)

You sound as though you have everything well in hand 

A few titles that may interest you -- 

- The Well Trained Mind by Jessie Wise and Susan Wise Bauer
- anything by John Holt
- The Way They Learn by Cynthia Ulrich Tobias
- Home Learning Year by Year by Rebecca Rupp
- anything by Cafi Cohen

And, for interest's sake, you might be interested in "Dumbing Us Down" by John Taylor Gatto. He outlines some of the very issues you seem to have had with your daughter's school as a problem predominant in the public school system -- he's an award-winning public educator, too, so his viewpoint is interesting, to say the least.

The "I HATE"s are common to children not being challenged (or being actively discouraged) in the classroom. BTDT. It comes back, but they need to rediscover their love of learning -- get their spark back. One on one instruction that follows their progression does that better than anything I have any experience of, but they have to relearn that learning can be fun and interesting. It *CAN* be done in the public classroom, but it takes a special kind of teacher to be able to do this for the 20-30 little souls she or he is trying to get to meet minimum curriculum requirements by the end of the year.

In many ways, I like the way some systems are set up in Scandinavia. I have heard of schools there that have one teacher who follows a group of students through their learning years, working with them as they progress through the different levels. If one child isn't ready to move on to the next topic, well, it's not a problem, they just continue to work with them until they are while the rest progress at their own rate. That, and the class sizes there are much smaller, which I think is a huge problem in western schools. 

But, I digress. You've obviously done your research on this. Good luck.


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## rhondajk (Apr 1, 2008)

Thanks Tracy, this has not been a decision reached lightly or easily and it's still a scary one for me. Can I really do this? Am I going to screw her up forever? Will she get enough social interaction? It has reached a point where I believe keeping her in public school is actually harmful for her.

Thanks for the book suggestions. I was able to find a couple of the titles through our library and have placed them on my list. I will have to get the one by Gatto from amazon or on ebay our library system doesn't have it.

Rhonda


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## BusyBees2 (Dec 10, 2004)

It does sound like you have a path in mind. That's always a good place to start!

I think it's important to remember that you care more about what happens to/with your child than anyone else. So you will be more aware of what is missing or not working as you move along, and be able to modify the plan to fix it.

I, for one, can't think too much past this year. (I have a 7yo/2nd grader daughter, too)If I even begin to think of middle school or high school, I begin to go boggle-eyed and have heart palpatations! lol Not really, but the reality of it is that I'm not there yet so I don't need to worry about it yet.

Take things one step at a time. Do your reading. Look around your area for veteran homeschoolers and pick their brains. And, good luck with your journey!


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## rhondajk (Apr 1, 2008)

Thanks busybees, I do need to remember to take it a step at a time. Rhonda


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## Conniperous (Mar 17, 2009)

Rhonda I think you're being very brave to consider options outside the school system. I was homeschooled from Grade 3-12 and I plan to do the same for my kids. You are not ruining your daughter's life by looking at other options. You are helping her succeed.

And for the record, I never liked math either. My mom realized this and she took me places (to job sites) where Math was essential so I could see it's uses. When I was learning trigonometry, she took me to a friend's jobsite where he was building a roof. I learned where the formulas came in handy. 

Often for my math lesson, my siblings and I would go with my mom grocery shopping, and we'd have to figure out what was the best sale price, we'd have to add up every item my mom purchased and try to estimate how much tax would be charged. Things like that give a child a solid foundation in math skills that are applicable to real life.

Be encouraged! With a mom like you, I'm sure your daughter will learn the necessary skills in life!

Cheers,
Amanda


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## frazzlehead (Aug 23, 2005)

Rhonda, your situation sounds so very much like ours!

I won't retell the tale ... just send you to my earlier threads so you can also benefit from the collective wisdom of the folks here who helped me:

How we made the decision:
http://homesteadingtoday.com/showthread.php?t=233903 

The biggest obstacle that came up &#8211; attitude:
http://homesteadingtoday.com/showthread.php?t=281404

How we finally got over the attitude:
http://homesteadingtoday.com/showthread.php?t=293388


I will tell you that my only regret is not intervening sooner on my son's behalf: he started coasting visibly around grade 4, and I should've jumped on the problem then. I tried, I talked to the teachers, got him some enrichment stuff, but there was no getting around the fact that he could TELL he was doing a whole lotta busywork while other kids goofed off or just plain didn't do their work, and he was stuck in school for the full day anyhow, so why bust his butt?

I work full time too - as does my DH but he works from home - and we've made this work. Of course, The Boy is 13 so he's a bit more self managed, but I really think your schedule is workable, particulary with a virtual type arrangement. The school support is great for us.


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## happyooper (Dec 8, 2002)

You have gotten some of the best advice. However, please look into home school legal defense. They are there to help you get started and continue on afterward. go to hsld.org. they have a free booklet on getting started and also free info via their emails. You can also join the organization and stay updated on legal issues that affect all homeschoolers; membership includes a very nice magazine. hp


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## deaconjim (Oct 31, 2005)

Homeschooling our kids was one of the best decisions we've ever made. Our kids were definitely not living up to their potential in public school, and now they are thriving and learning so much more. I can't imagine sending them back to public school.


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## rhondajk (Apr 1, 2008)

Thanks everyone for the encouraging words and advice. We ended up jumping in with both feet two weeks ago. DD had a snow day and then a sore throat that lasted for several days, she ended up missing a week of school. It was hard to send her back the next Monday, she had been a more relaxed and happy child after the week off. 

I did send her and before she returned home on the bus I had a phone call from her teacher to let me know there had been an incident in PE and that DD had quit and refused to return to the gym. The teacher was very upset and stated that she should not be "allowed" to quit. I tried to get details of what had happened but her teacher had not been present and could not give me the information. 

We talked a while longer and I expressed my concern regarding DD's obvious difficulties and the increased acting out we were seeing at home. The teacher agreed that her behavior did seem to be out of character but, did not have any ideas about what could be the cause. I specifically asked about the general class issues (bullying) that they had been having before Christmas and she again said the group was very difficult to teach.

I asked if the social worker who was going to start working with the class after Christmas had been of any help in managing the behaviors in class and she said she had never spoken with her. We have had several meetings and discussions in person and over the phone with both the building leader and DDs classroom teacher where this promised assistance with the whole class has been mentioned. This is a class of eleven 7&8 year olds. 

We have worked with DD about the bullying issues at home and tried to help her with responding appropriately by walking away, saying stop, and then asking an adult for help if the bullying continues. DD says that the adults tell her to quit tattling if she goes to them after trying the other things. 

When DD got home i asked about PE and she said they had been doing some relay races. When her team lost, her team mates had blamed her for being too slow and said they didn't want her on the team anymore. Apparently the teacher did not hear what was said, as she did not intervene until DD had quit and walked out. 

I did not see the point in sending her back. 

I put together some online resources and just started. We have had some good days and a few frustrating ones. I have discovered that she does well with alot of visual teaching using short online videos and computer work instead of worksheets. This is working well for spelling, vocabulary, and math. We are reading Sarah Plain and Tall together and discussing it as we go but I am not pushing any formal writing or vocabulary from it. We are also reading a book about Owls and making our first lapbook for a science project. 

We are starting to see more curisoity and interest and less defiance and acting out. It's definately a work in progress, but then, most interesting journies are.

Thanks again for the support. Rhonda


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## BusyBees2 (Dec 10, 2004)

Sounds like you're well on your way.

Please remember that if she's been in the public school setting for a few years it's going to take a while to get her out of that mindset. It's quite a bit of an adjustment to move from a classroom with constant direction to a home setting where there's flexibility and more fun, where a child can express themselves and offer feedback and show excitement for their learning.

On those tough days, cut her some slack for awhile. Make this change as happy and exploratory as possible to re-set the groundwork for the many years to come.


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