# 20 Years Younger is A Little Too Young ...



## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

:shocked:

... don't you think? 

*I think!*

What in the WORLD is this boy THINKING?!?!?

I am flattered, sure, but freaked PLUM out.

:shocked:


----------



## fishhead (Jul 19, 2006)

I don't think it's too much of a difference.


----------



## tinknal (May 21, 2004)

Why? If you have a list of qualifying traits you really should print it up and hand it out.


----------



## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

:donut:

huh? 



y'all stop teasing me ... I am serious.

:donut:


----------



## Guest (May 28, 2012)

Sorry, Mama Crow. I didn't realize you was 81. My bad. You don't look that old......


----------



## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

Maybe it's not a big deal from an "older man and younger woman" perspective ... my first husband was 17 years older than me.

But it just seems real wrong to even contemplate a relationship with a man who is literally young enough to be your son.

I can't wrap my mind around it.

And why would they want to be with a woman as old as their own mother?!?!?

I really, truly cannot wrap my mind around it.

Am I wrong?


----------



## Guest (May 28, 2012)

OK, OK. Enough already. I already told you I didn't realize you was 81 years old!!!


----------



## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

:stars:

But I'm not 81 years old!!!

:stars:


----------



## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

Wild sex?


----------



## homefire2007 (Sep 21, 2007)

Maybe he wants to be a cougar cub..? No, in all seriousness, very flattering and good for the ego...nothing wrong with that! My aunt's husband is twenty one years younger than she. They've been married for 22 years. We were all horrified, we said it wouldn't last, what was she thinking, etc. One thing I've learned...tain't nobody's business but yours.


----------



## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

:donut:

My first reaction is to assume "he must be sexually attracted" of course ... but I really don't think so? surely not?

I met him today at church when I surprised Lindsey (my daughter) by showing up since this is her last Sunday here before she moves away.

He is very active in the ministry just like she is ... he KNOWS I am her mother.

But his appreciation, attraction is very very obvious ... the young man is bold and persistent. 

:donut:


----------



## rkintn (Dec 12, 2002)

I am with you, G. I could not imagine a relationship with someone young enough to be my kid. To much of a life experience gap would exist, I think.


----------



## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

glazed said:


> I met him today at church


Oh, yeah, wild sex. It's on.


----------



## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Maybe, like I believed what everybody told me, (3rd times a charm), he believes the (older women make great lubbers). lol. BS, alla it lol.


----------



## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

wasnt there a song about that.....the dude thinks ya hot glaze....when i was that age i liked them older womens.....some of us like our world to be rocked !!!!! in fact i think i would love a 40something to rock my world right now.....sorry i cant help myself at times....lol..just sayin

[youtube]xruUGxvxHu4[/youtube]


----------



## homefire2007 (Sep 21, 2007)

glazed said:


> Maybe it's not a big deal from an "older man and younger woman" perspective ... my first husband was 17 years older than me.
> 
> But it just seems real wrong to even contemplate a relationship with a man who is literally young enough to be your son.
> 
> ...


No, you're not wrong. You know what you feel comfortable with and what you wouldn't. For me, I would not feel right about it. I have 21 and 15 year old sons. But, it worked for my aunt. The older I get the more I learn. When I think back to my initial feelings about my aunts relationship the more I realize how judgemental I was. I guess I'm mellowing with old age.


----------



## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

is that really all there is to it ... at that age, or any age ... sex sex sex?


----------



## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

I have to go, but I will be back ... this, and lindsey leaving, is weighing real heavy on my mind.

I love y'all ... thank you.

:donut:


----------



## NewGround (Dec 19, 2010)

glazed said:


> is that really all there is to it ... at that age, or any age ... sex sex sex?


No it's not...

Still it is possible that love don't count the years, only the heart...

This guy is likely seeing just an attractive woman, not 20 years...


----------



## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

glazed said:


> is that really all there is to it ... at that age, or any age ... sex sex sex?


nope not even close...i was always older in my brain so i liked older girls...i didnt have a lot in common with girls my own age back then.you cant talk Thoreau with 20 year old most of the time.or talk about big dreams like building log homes and such.most youngins are partying it up at that age.

i was pokin fun at ya a bit too....sorry


----------



## CountryWannabe (May 31, 2004)

glazed said:


> is that really all there is to it ... at that age, or any age ... sex sex sex?


Of course not. Is it totally inconceivable that he finds you attractive, interesting and wants to know more about you? 

If you are uncomfortable with the idea of a relationship with him, then of course you should tell him so. If you are just worried about what others will think - well, it's not their life, is it?

Mary


----------



## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Put another nickle in'
In the nicklelodian
All I ever want is you,
an sax , sax, sax lol


----------



## homefire2007 (Sep 21, 2007)

glazed said:


> is that really all there is to it ... at that age, or any age ... sex sex sex?


No. Not by a long shot. Never was even on my top ten list. Is it part of it? Yes, but a far smaller percentage than most think.


----------



## Shygal (May 26, 2003)

FarmBoyBill said:


> Maybe, like I believed what everybody told me, (3rd times a charm), he believes the (older women make great lubbers). lol. BS, alla it lol.


And yet another reason you are alone, yeesh.


----------



## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

I wondered what I would have to say to get U to pop up lol


----------



## doodlemom (Apr 4, 2006)

[YOUTUBE]bE1dz6_u2JI[/YOUTUBE]


----------



## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

In case I run outa reasons im still single, I try to manufacture some more. Ill run them by you to make sure theyll keep on workin lol.


----------



## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

Why are some women attracted to men old enough to be their father? Why does that not weird you out?

Society in general, sees a traditional relationship as the man being the older one of the couple. It doesn't seem to matter how much older they are. It's more acceptable then when the roles are reversed.

I had that mindset growing up and still do. I doubt that I could get serious with a man that was even a couple of years younger than I am.


----------



## Guest (May 28, 2012)

I'm attracted to myself. I look at myself, I like what I see. What's the problem? I'm older than myself, I know. But still, I just can't seem to keep my hands off myself. 

So there. Miss Thang.


----------



## Sourdough (Dec 28, 2011)

zong said:


> I just can't seem to keep my hands off myself.


You will go "Blind" if you don't stop........That :hysterical::hysterical:


----------



## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

Sourdough said:


> You will go "Blind" if you don't stop........That :hysterical::hysterical:


Speaking from experience?


----------



## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

*Like I said, I love y'all.*

    ​


----------



## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

glazed said:


> is that really all there is to it ... at that age, or any age ... sex sex sex?



I was only joking, Glazed. I thought you would know me better by now. :gaptooth:

Why not go on a couple dates with him? Get to know him. I don't see anything wrong with it. I would be more worried that he might be a zombie.


----------



## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

Raven12 said:


> I was only joking, Glazed. I thought you would know me better by now. :gaptooth:


Yes, I do ... my temporary bad.





Raven12 said:


> Why not go on a couple dates with him? Get to know him. I don't see anything wrong with it. I would be more worried that he might be a zombie.


We're going to play pool next Saturday night ... hehee ... ought to be fun ... I will try not to run the table.


----------



## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

In the grand scheme of things actual age isn't really or shouldn't be a big issue. I think it's more the personality, as already said, some people much younger or much older, there is nothing to relate to.

I've been hit on by guys that should be hitting on my daughter lol.Personally, I'm not usually attracted to men much younger than I am but there have been some here and there, but usually not enough to date them.

Don't let what is or might be "currently accepted easily by society or your friends" run your life or ruin what might be some good times. 

I actually never thought of the part of "you could be my son" until my daughter moved out and started making friends with men older than her by more years than a couple. Since we (kid and I) are only 17 years apart, I was meeting some of her friends that were, you know only 5-8 years younger than I am. Which ... is weird. Once in a while I was wondering if she was trying to set me up. LOL


----------



## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

ya know, He might be trying to make an impression on mom, in his own whatever way, sos to gain a foothold on impressing DD


----------



## summerdaze (Jun 11, 2009)

zong said:


> I'm attracted to myself. I look at myself, I like what I see. What's the problem? I'm older than myself, I know. But still, I just can't seem to keep my hands off myself.
> 
> So there. Miss Thang.


I think you and yourself oughta just go with the flow then. It's not everyday you can meet an attractive, likeable person, and have so much in common! :nanner:


----------



## DKWunlimited (Sep 11, 2006)

glazed said:


> :donut:
> 
> My first reaction is to assume "he must be sexually attracted" of course ... but I really don't think so? surely not?
> 
> ...


It could be what some in the singles groups at church are calling missionary dating... to go after someone who is not activly involved in church in order to get them activly involved. Then move on to the next one. Creepy but effective.


----------



## Mysticdream44 (Dec 29, 2004)

For me personally 20 yrs would be way to much of a age difference, but I have heard of marriages where it did work. But on the other hand my ex married a woman 20 yrs his junior who had a 3 yr old child, and when she found out HIS son and wife were having a baby and about to make her a step-grandmother, she left him after a year of marriage. Of course their were other reasons as well, but the main one was the step-grandma part :hysterical: something she KNEW was a possibility.


----------



## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

Glazed, elkhound nailed it--you've got a fever in ya and the only prescription is MORE COWBELL!


----------



## HermitJohn (May 10, 2002)

oedipus complex


----------



## foaly (Jan 14, 2008)

Donut--

I can understand being flattered by this. But, feeling uncomfortable about it should be the biggest warning sign for you. 

I don't believe for a minute that this is the type of situation you are looking for.

P.S. Love the new hairdo!!!


----------



## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

Most likely not relationship material(gotta be clearheaded yet have fun ya know?)...and don't know what running a table means, but I can guess, and I say run that table into the ground, make him beg for mercy!


----------



## charisma (Nov 13, 2007)

Age is just a number.... I think its wonderful you are giving him a shot. You might go out and realize the experience gap is too large so you have nothing to talk about.... Or he might be experienced beyond his years & attracted to you because of the depth of his experience. You don't know till you try!

A big part of why I tend to date men 10-20 years older than me is because my life experiences have been such that men my age and I have virtually nothing in common... So I go older, because there I find people who've had varied experiences, broader horizons and have... Well, actually lived! He might feel the same way! If hes attracted to you... And you end up being attracted, to him, and theres enough commonality between you two to build a relationship then why not?

The guy Im dating right now is 15 years older & has two kids from his previous marriage.. Im only 6 years older than his son, 8 years older than his daughter. Havent seen that it makes any difference at all... Other than that his daughter is rather keen on borrowing my clothes  


I hope its wonderful! I really do  & if not... Well you got out on a Saturday night and that's always good!


----------



## sherry in Maine (Nov 22, 2007)

Who can put 'you better think!' by Aretha on this forum?


go ahead! He's a member of the ministry? He's probably very nice. Try it, you might like him. . . . and do you date everyone strictly for the reason of finding a partner?

It might be some harmless fun . . . . 

And, shouldn't sex be an important part of a relationship? (no, not the only, but 'up there' on the list)


----------



## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

I am on POF and there is a kid who is 22 I think that is after me, keeps writing etc. He does not get the idea that he is the close o the age of my son. I have told him and told him, but he just doesn't get it or understand for some reason. 

I have always been into much older men, not younger. My x husband is 62, so 20 something would be kinda like saying load up in the van kids and he would be one of the kids.


----------



## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

:donut:

Take a look on Facebook ... y'all can definitely see him sniffing around ... tell me what you think ... he "likes" everything, and makes a points to comment on dang-near everything.

:donut:


----------



## InvalidID (Feb 18, 2011)

Sourdough said:


> You will go "Blind" if you don't stop........That :hysterical::hysterical:


 Only in one eye though, besides it sounds like he already has... :hysterical::hysterical:


----------



## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

huh?

:shocked:


----------



## InvalidID (Feb 18, 2011)

glazed said:


> Yes, I do ... my temporary bad.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 I dunno. Might be good to run the table on 'im. Clearly he's lookin to learn somethin'.


----------



## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Oh Mama, I will have to go and sneak peak at it, it is kinda funny really and I promise I didn't laugh, really I didn't, okay, maybe I laughed abit. It is kinda cute, teehee.


----------



## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

InvalidID said:


> Only in one eye though, besides it sounds like he already has... :hysterical::hysterical:


OMG! :hysterical:


----------



## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

:donut:

Celeste, your PM was incredible ... thank you.

I am still letting all of this sink in ... thank you for all the responses.

:kiss:

Foaly KNOWS ... she don't believe for a minute that this is the type of situation I am looking for, and she is right.

I don't get what the guys are guffawing about up there.

:donut:


----------



## InvalidID (Feb 18, 2011)

glazed said:


> :donut:
> 
> Celeste, your PM was incredible ... thank you.
> 
> ...


 Babe, we guffaw about everything. We can't help it, we're juvenile. 

But to be serious for a minute, do you think he's a good lookin guy? Is he stable? I'd worry less about what others think and more about what you think. If it's too creepy for you, don't do it (date not DO...LOL)

I personally would have a hard time dating someone that wouldn't get my 90's references. I'd have no problem if they were FWB's, but I doubt I could be in a serious relationship. Too dramatic at that age anyway.


----------



## tinknal (May 21, 2004)

I've had relationships with much older women. None of them were expected to be permanent and everyone knew that going in. Most of them were not even expected to be exclusive. 

Just depends on what you re looking for.


----------



## Guest (May 28, 2012)

I messed around with a woman that was 52 years old once. Well, twice. Then again the next morning.


----------



## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Someone said he would be a good boy cause he was intrested in the ministry. Bet they hadnt heard about ministers sons and daughters. I can tell about both somewhat


----------



## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

cindilu said:


> Oh Mama, I will have to go and sneak peak at it, it is kinda funny really and I promise I didn't laugh, really I didn't, okay, maybe I laughed abit. It is kinda cute, teehee.


You asked me a question about my lighter hair, and he clicked/commented immediately after you.

I changed my profile pic, and he immediately "liked" it.

:donut:


----------



## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Ha, you have a stalker, lol.


----------



## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Well, he is cute for a young guy, LOL.


----------



## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

:donut:

Exactly.

_Cute._

Sorry, I can't (won't) (have no desire, nor interest, to) do it.

I mean, date it not _do it_ ... you know what I mean.

:donut:


----------



## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

:donut:

Well, shoot, actually .... I need to be honest.

I have no desire to date it OR do it ... I simply can't, so therefore I won't.

I hate to possibly upset this guy, but I really do not understand his motivation for trying to pursue this.

I really don't.

I personally don't understand. It is not for me.

:donut:


----------



## sherry in Maine (Nov 22, 2007)

Hey Zong, are we talking about day before yesterday, or a long time ago?

Were you 52 also? Or 25?

Just sayin' . . . . .


----------



## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

:donut:

You know, I am reading through this again .... and every single one of you have wonderful points.

I can relate to, and understand, what each one of you is saying to me.

((( thank you all )))

You have given me much to think about.

:donut:


----------



## Tommyice (Dec 5, 2010)

glazed said:


> :donut:
> 
> Exactly.
> 
> ...


You seem to be getting yourself all twisted up about this, kinda like a cruller. (sorry about the bad donut shop joke, but they are glazed sometimes too).

I'm with Foaly. If you're feeling uncomfortable, then that's your gut trying to get your attention. Hang out, shoot pool, just be in an environment loaded with other friends and make it clear to him that a relationship is not something you're looking for. Besides, who knows. Maybe his dad is single


----------



## tinknal (May 21, 2004)

Tell him you are unable to have sexual relations due to an old cheer leading accident.


----------



## WolfWalksSoftly (Aug 13, 2004)

Just tell him nothing personal, but he isn't what you are interested in..then ask him if he would like a Juice Box or play a Video game.


----------



## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

When I was 54, my DS's older friend (27) chased me down. I said "no" repeatedly but he was relentless. He brought me gifts from the sea (fresh clams and oysters to die for) and trout he caught in a nearby river; he swooped me up in his arms several times and tried to make me "his" but respected my wishes. 

Terry is 6'5" with jet black hair and soulful brown eyes; a professional golfer who loved to garden and was fascinated with what interested me. (Even figs!) He was so achingly HOT! But I listened to my family so did the sane thing which meant settling for their choice of skinny, ugly, about my age TDM from here who abused and used me until he left me stuck in Brrrhio owing me money. 

I wonder where Terry is now?


----------



## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

Yes.

This guy is proving to be very persistent.... but not in an offensive way ... I can't describe it.


----------



## WolfWalksSoftly (Aug 13, 2004)

I can..You Are Intrigued..lol


----------



## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

glazed said:


> Yes.
> 
> This guy is proving to be very persistent.... but not in an offensive way ... I can't describe it.


Take a chance if you can--you only live once--grab a story to tell your grandchildren and 1 that will make your kids die from embarrassment.  I would have wasted maybe 6 months with Terry but blew over 3 years with TDM who injured me physically besides the rest of that misery. BTW, my BFF is married to a guy 13 years our junior and has been for 15 years; it can work!


----------



## WolfWalksSoftly (Aug 13, 2004)

Just see what he is about, if he cares for you or just is after something else.


----------



## foaly (Jan 14, 2008)

Since he intrigues you, ask him what he wants from you.


----------



## foaly (Jan 14, 2008)

WolfWalksSoftly said:


> Just see what he is about, if he cares for you or just is after something else.


Gee whiz.....great minds think alike. They also apparently hit the "Reply" button at the same time!


----------



## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

:donut:

Y'all make me smile..

I really, truly love my friends here.

Y'all are THE BEST.

I am so blessed.

:donut:


----------



## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

I hear that when one is on their deathbed they regret what they didn't do ....not what they did....just saying


----------



## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

roadless said:


> I hear that when one is on their deathbed they regret what they didn't do ....not what they did....just saying


You heard right. I wish I'd taken a chance...did I mention he was HOT? LOL

Take care to preserve yourself but don't box yourself in--I regret doing that and always will. When you were young you made stupid mistakes; you've made a few being older. What's wrong with taking chances a few years later? (No, I'm not trying to tell you what to do--just saying don't limit yourself because you're older now.)


----------



## InvalidID (Feb 18, 2011)

roadless said:


> I hear that when one is on their deathbed they regret what they didn't do ....not what they did....just saying


 One of my favorite quotes, " Tis far better to regret something you've done, than something you've not." ~Gibby Haynes


----------



## WolfWalksSoftly (Aug 13, 2004)

InvalidID said:


> One of my favorite quotes, " Tis far better to regret something you've done, than something you've not." ~Gibby Haynes


It's also better to ask for forgiveness..than permission :thumb:


----------



## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

I'd rather pursue a smokin-hot "10-years-younger-than-me" dangerous man than be pursued by an adorably-cute "20-years-younger-than-me" safe man.


----------



## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)




----------



## fishhead (Jul 19, 2006)

glazed said:


> I'd rather pursue a smokin-hot "10-years-younger-than-me" dangerous man than be pursued by an adorably-cute "20-years-younger-than-me" safe man.


That doesn't quite go with the message under your screen name.


----------



## mtman (Sep 2, 2004)

glazed said:


> Maybe it's not a big deal from an "older man and younger woman" perspective ... my first husband was 17 years older than me.
> 
> But it just seems real wrong to even contemplate a relationship with a man who is literally young enough to be your son.
> 
> ...


maybee he finds a lot of sexy traits in you that you dont see nothing wrong with that


----------



## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)

Ask the sweet young thing right up front what he wants. Is he trying to impress you because he likes you or is he trying to impress you because he likes your daughter and wants you to put in a good word for him?

If it's you he likes then I say put your inhibitions on the back burner for awhile and GO FOR IT !!! .... you know you wanna! Get to know him and let him romance you and get you singing and sighing. There is nothing more delectable. 

If you don't take a chance on being a Mrs. Robinson at least once in your life you will regret it for the rest of your life.

.


----------



## mtman (Sep 2, 2004)

women are funny sometimes, i never hung out in this part of HT but there are sure are some good looking women here go with it


----------



## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

Say, glazed, I'm late to the party (typical), but for what it's worth...

I nearly married a man 20 years my junior about, oh, 17 years ago. Started out as a mutual attraction, proceeded over time to a lark and then, after a couple of years of his determined pursuit over my staunch resistance and a great deal of distance (I lived in California, he lived in Pennsylvania), to a full-fledged relationship and engagement. We lived together for nearly 2 years and I set a leisurely marriage date. After all that time, we finally agreed he needed to see/enjoy more of the world, and we parted. The difficulty we encountered was just... different frames of reference. I felt strange explaining what the 60s and 70s were like to someone who wasn't born till they were more than half over.

Still, I wouldn't trade the experience. It appalled a lot of people, but everyone kept their appendages inside the ride car and no one got hurt.

Like the old saw goes... age is mind of matter. If you don't mind, it don't matter.  And honestly, it's not for anyone else to judge.


----------



## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

fishhead said:


> That doesn't quite go with the message under your screen name.


It doesn't, does it ... you are right.


----------



## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

:grouphug:

Warm and hearty welcome to you, mtman ... yes, we women can be pretty funny sometimes.

Ain't it great?

:grouphug:


----------



## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

naturelover said:


> Ask the sweet young thing right up front what he wants.


Too many of you have encouraged me to simply ask what he wants. So I did.

He said he was attracted to me, in many ways, and wanted to go on a few dates with me ... and then, when I didn't respond fast enough?, he acknowledged that that might not be the best idea.

So I asked him why he wanted to go out with me, and why that might not be a good idea.

And he responded with: 

_+ we would get to know each other better, and we would get closer
+ we would find out if we have enough to make it work
- people would look down upon it, and us
- if it doesn't work out, it would be awkward between us

I can deal with initial shock from others. Can you? I am prepared for us to be an issue at first, but I think after a few weeks most will get used to the idea. Specially when they see how intent I am. I am not in this for sex. I don't want you to wonder if I just want a physical relationship. Do I think you are beautiful? yes. Do I want to get to know you better? yes. Do I really want to kiss you? yes. I really want to kiss you. I want to see where this goes. I need to see where this goes. _

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And so I asked again: I don't know what to say. Let me ask again: What is it you want? And do you really think I can give it to you?

_I want a real, all-around relationship and yes! I know you can! _

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And then I said something about not understanding what is going on here, and something about probably being older than his mother!

To which he responded:

_"Nope. She is older than you by at least ten years. Not that it matters. What is age but a number? And what is in a number? I don't understand either, but I am not going to try to stop it."_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So NOW what do y'all think?

:stars:


----------



## WolfWalksSoftly (Aug 13, 2004)

Why does it matter what everyone thinks?. What matters is what YOU think. Everyone else is just along for the ride. You two are of legal age. I see no Moral Issues.


----------



## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)

glazed said:


> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 
> So NOW what do y'all think?
> 
> :stars:


What other people think about it does matter to you but you are clearly interested and intrigued and he is obviously very interested and intrigued by you so I think you should give yourselves a chance for a bit of magic in your lives. Just don't count on a May-December relationship between a young man and an older woman to last forever. It works better between young women and older men than it does the other way round because most young men are less stable and tend to get a wander-lust after 3 or 4 years when the pixie-dust has worn off and/or if they realize that yes, they do want to start a family with children of their own with a young woman. 

But that 3 or 4 years can be pure magic and can change your life dramatically for the better in future relationships if you can be pragmatic about accepting that the young man is probably not going to be there for the long run. Accept that the older you get, any relationship with a peer after having had a sizzling relationship with a young man is probably going to be boring by comparison, but will also be more stable, reliable and comforting in your much older age.

I knew a man who fell in love with a woman who was 31 years his senior, she was already 60 and he was 29 when they met. He wanted to marry her and she refused but they spent 20 years living together and were very happy. It took a couple of years for both of their families to adjust to their relationship but they were so obviously in love and meant for each other that both their families grew to love them for the good that they did for each other. When she died in her 80's he was there for her, he was her staunchest advocate and that made her dying easier for her. Then he went on to a new life for himself, and never regretted a moment of the 20 years they spent together.

I guess what I would caution you about is that you give yourself time to be sure that he's not some insecure person with a mommy complex looking for an older woman to look after him and support him. Don't try to talk too much about where the relationship is going or what the future holds, just wing it and play it by ear. 

Don't spend a lot of money on him.

Above all, have fun and live for the moment.

.


----------



## Guest (May 29, 2012)

I'm glad I'm past worrying about 20 years from now, or taking 2 years to make up my mind. I get up in the morning, I decide what's for breakfast right off the bat. I bet some of ya'll would starve to death trying to decide what you want. This boy ain't starved yet. Ain't planning on it either. I always wonder about people not knowing what they want. The way I see it, I guess they don't want anything. If you want something, you know it.


----------



## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

:donut:

I learned a lot from all the PMs and responses, and I thank you all.

I love the non-judgmental sharing of opinions on this topic, and the wonderful insights given to me.

To think, just a couple of weeks ago I was hesitant over a ten year age difference ... only to be hit with "double that" here recently.

Yes, I learned a whole lot from all of your perspectives.

As for me, personally, I cannot pursue this ... specifically, I cannot/will not pursue THIS one.

And age has nothing to do with my decision.

This thread can die ... unless there are more stories to share (which I always love.)

:donut:


----------



## Shygal (May 26, 2003)

zong said:


> I'm glad I'm past worrying about 20 years from now, or taking 2 years to make up my mind. I get up in the morning, I decide what's for breakfast right off the bat. I bet some of ya'll would starve to death trying to decide what you want. This boy ain't starved yet. Ain't planning on it either. I always wonder about people not knowing what they want. The way I see it, I guess they don't want anything. If you want something, you know it.


No, you don't always know it.


----------



## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

:donut:

Shygal, you are one tough cookie.

:grit:

I like my cookies on the crispy/crunchy side.

:bow:

You're awesome.

:donut:


----------



## Mare Owner (Feb 20, 2008)

My husband was 23yrs older than me. When it's right, it's right. I never dated older men before him, wasn't into that, but I sure was into him as things turned out. 

Once it's the right person, it won't matter what age they are. 

I've been widowed now for three years and last month went out to dinner a couple times with a man the same age as me. It was weird.


----------



## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

Mare Owner said:


> I've been widowed now for three years and last month went out to dinner a couple times with a man the same age as me. It was weird.


Weird because he was the same age or weird just because it was a date? lol 

I was thinking about this 20 years thing yesterday and realized someone 20 years younger than me would be illegal...that creeped me out. I still stand by the idea that it has more to do with the individual and their personality than their age.

But I was also thinking that it seems like younger men might actually be more attracted to older women more or more often than women being attracted to much younger men. Maybe it depends on maturity level of both parties. I've met some pretty immature acting 40-60 year old men/women...and they aren't attractive to me either.


----------



## Mare Owner (Feb 20, 2008)

WhyNot said:


> Weird because he was the same age or weird just because it was a date? lol


Both! 

I have a much more open mind about age now than I used to, and am willing to give things a chance. It's about the person.


----------



## Dutchie (Mar 14, 2003)

DKWunlimited said:


> It could be what some in the singles groups at church are calling missionary dating... to go after someone who is not activly involved in church in order to get them activly involved. Then move on to the next one. Creepy but effective.


Seriously? They do that? Isn't that a bit dishonest?


----------



## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

In honor of hump day...wild sex. Just sayin.


----------



## EarlsNan (Apr 21, 2007)

glazed said:


> :donut:
> 
> Take a look on Facebook ... y'all can definitely see him sniffing around ... tell me what you think ... he "likes" everything, and makes a points to comment on dang-near everything.
> 
> :donut:


Oh, well... Now I HAVE to go check. LOL


----------



## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

EarlsNan said:


> Oh, well... Now I HAVE to go check. LOL


I am loving your blog, listening to YOUR music while I am deep cleaning my house today, thank-you for sharing your life and your day with me.


----------



## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

:donut:



glazed said:


> I learned a lot from all the PMs and responses, and I thank you all.
> 
> I love the non-judgmental sharing of opinions on this topic, and the wonderful insights given to me.
> 
> ...


:donut:


----------



## WolfWalksSoftly (Aug 13, 2004)

glazed said:


> As for me, personally, I cannot pursue this ... specifically, I cannot/will not pursue *THIS* one.
> 
> And age has nothing to do with my decision.


(In the voice of Mel Gibson in Braveheart)
Years from now, when you're lying in your Deathbed, and you look back on your life, will you wish you had just one more chance, one more chance to be with this Stud Muffin or will you be content knowing you had a chance to be the "Older Woman" and fullfill one persons dream and did nothing ?:lookout:


----------



## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

:donut:

Made me smile, Wolf, thank you.

I have faith I will be properly stud-muffined before I am on my deathbed.

And, sigh, if I am not properly stud-muffined before I am on my deathbed I will not regret my decision here.

(( hug ))

:donut:


----------



## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

24, 30, & 37. It does boost one's ego, especially after being torn down from a relationship. I actually really like the 30 year old which would be 13 years younger than me.


----------



## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

"It's also better to ask for forgiveness..than permission." Wait! That's MY line, WWS!


----------



## Guest (Jun 29, 2012)

When I was on POF, there seemed to be a lot of women that didn't mind a 20 year age difference. But, from my POV, I was kind of worried about all them 80 year old women. I mean, its gonna be hard standing your ground against a crying 80 year old woman, you know?
I can see it now..."You don't ever want to take me when you go out drinking and fighting in bars and stuff"


----------

