# Dealing With Massive Clutter Issue



## sillysally

I have to confess that I've ignored the obvious clutter problem in our home for way too long (clutter picks itself up if you ignore it long enough, right?), and the house has reached critical mass. There is stuff everyway, and I am just overwhelmed and don't know where to start.

Any thoughts or suggestions?


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## Belfrybat

I'm in a similar position. I came across a website called "40 bags in 40 days" that was encouraging, but even that seemed to much. So I downloaded a system that is sort of working -- if I work it. 

http://www.home-storage-solutions-101.com/declutter-calendar.html

I'm planning on moving in the next few months, so I made a commitment to myself to give away/ throw out / put up / store at least 10 items a day. I've been pretty good at keeping to that commitment, but it seems the place looks worse than when I started. That's because I pull things out of drawer or closet and it take a couple of days to handle it. I figure it will take another month before I actually see visible results, but with over 15 boxes/ bags of items removed from the house I know I'm making progress.


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## gibbsgirl

My best advice is to just start clearing stuff out regardless of how much or how fast or where you take it (trash, donate, give away, etc). You just have to make it a habit, even if it's just a few things a day, or making sure whenever you dump trash you make sure you find enough to top the containers off with a few things.

The other trick is to really work on not addind to the clutter by bringing more stuff in.

Best wishes. And, don't be discouraged if progress is slow. It's still progress.


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## Darren

Clean one room or part of a room at a time. Work outwards from there if possible.


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## Txsteader

Start small. Rather than looking at the entire problem, break it down into individual tasks, such as a closet or cabinet, for example. 'Today, I'm going to clean and organize that cabinet.' Relish the feeling accomplishment when you're done, let it be your motivation for the next project. 

Remember, purging is actually very therapeutic. It not only clears space but it clears your mind as well.


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## Laura Zone 5

This is what I did.

Start in the bedroom.
If you have a bathroom IN your bedroom, start there.
Empty, the bathroom. Everything out.
Start w/ the ceiling. Clean the vent fans, the ceiling, the light fixtures, the windows.
Get a new shower curtain, wash the curtains on the window.
Wash the walls, wash any shelves in the closet (if there is one)
Clean the sink, mirror, toilet, etc.
Clean out the sink vanity-drawers, etc. Inside and out.
Scrub the floor, base boards.
Look at all the brick a brack you have in the bathroom and rethink how much of this do I REALLY need. 

NOW you have a clean room.
ONLY put ABSOLUTE nescessities back in the bathroom.
Throw everything else away. Put it in a huge green bag and immediately drag it to the curb.
If storage space is an issue, got to WalMart and get 2.00 plastic Sterilite tubs and store your items in there. MAKE SURE to label the tub so you know where things are.

Now you have a 'safe spot'. A clean spot. Free of clutter and you can think.

Next, the bedroom.
Same thing.........
Empty everything out of the bedroom. Everything. I know this is a huge pain in the postoodle........but get it all out. First thing: Strip the bed of all it's linens.
Start cleaning top to bottom.
Ceiling, light fixtures, ceiling fans, vents.
Walls, windows, curtains, blinds.
Carpet,(clean carpet/vacuume) hard woods, vents, etc.

Now you have a clean room.
Put the bed back, and make the bed with fresh linens. 
ONLY put the furniture that FUNCTIONS back in the room. 
If the furniture is only there to 'hide' stuff or 'hold stuff'......get rid of it and all the 'stuff' that it's hiding / holding.
Take everything that does not function to good will or the dump.

Now get in your bedroom closet.....
Same thing
Totally empty, clean top to bottom, purge all non essential items.

You will sleep better.
You will be MORE motivated to attack the rest of the house.
You will feel better.
You will have a 'safe' place to go when you are overwhelmed w/ the rest of the house.

This is what worked for me and kept me motivated to purge a 4,000 sq foot home into a 1200 sq foot apartment, and again into a 14ft moving van.


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## Kawren

Following this since we're downsizing from 5 bdrm 3000 sq ft house to a 3 bdrm 1200 sq ft house. Then moving again in 4 years. 

Laurazone10, I'm impressed!


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## Crankin

Laura Zone 10 Is absolutely right.

A few years ago I decided to reorganize my shop. I had been moving my "junk" around for years in my shop. I saved everything that might have any potential use. And I rationalized that I was saving trips to the hardware store because I had collected a great variety of nuts blots, washers, tools, scrap metal, pieces of equipment and so on. One year in March, I decided to move everything out of my shop and very selectively put the stuff back in. one at a time. When I thought, " I might be able to...." "This could be used to..." "Maybe I..."
It did not come back in. :duel:

Old habits die hard. They didn't become habits overnight. I had to train my self to NOT go back through the give away pile, trash, scrap metal, old car parts etc.

Now it is relaxing and fun to work in my shop.


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## Maura

Throwing away is absolutely essential. And, doing the entire room is absolutely essential. If you have to do it in five minute units, then do it but keep going back. Begin with 2 trash bags and a box or basket. You divide everything into the throw away bag, the give away bag, and the keeping box. Go through the keeping box a second time and see if you can&#8217;t throw away or give away things.

When keeping, is it sentimental? Is it a necessity? Is it time to replace it? If it&#8217;s sentimental, would your family throw it away if you died tomorrow? Photos can go into an album or scanned into your computer. Towels can go to the Humane Society. Three boxes of the same thing can probably all go into a single box. Old cleaning supplies are old because you don&#8217;t use them- throw away. If you have stuff that really belongs to other people, box these and tell them to come and get it- you are not the keeper of other people&#8217;s sentimental junk.

Go through everything, every shelf, every corner. Once you clear off a shelf to divide into three bags, your shelf is now ready to be cleaned and you can put the &#8220;keep&#8221; onto the shelf, after you&#8217;ve gone through it a second time. Move to the next shelf. Divide, wash shelf, put away. A closet you may need to completely empty, but you can also begin with the shelf above the rod, deal with that, wash shelf, put things away. Remove 1/3 of the clothes and hangers, deal with it, move to the next 1/3. 

Spend all day if you have to but finish the room. If you only have a small space to declutter, like a desk or your car, you can do a little at a time and get it done in a week. For an entire room or entire house, you will never finish it if you do a little at a time. Once the room is tidy you can spend five minutes every day to keep it that way. Put the dirty clothes in the hamper, put the book in the book case, dust, etc.

If you don&#8217;t know where to start, look up. You probably have a top shelf, or top of a tall boy that you can start with. Work your way down by shelf and drawer. Clear a space on the floor to do your sorting. You have to remove everything from the drawer or shelf, not rummage through and throw out one item. Empty the shelf or drawer. Keep, give away, trash. Do I use this? Do I love this? If you don&#8217;t love it then you don&#8217;t need it. Does this make me feel good, or does it bring on guilt? Does it make me feel good, or neutral? Trash, trash, trash.


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## Chickensittin

I am in a similar position. I read on a blog that for every item she purchases or brings into the house, she matches it with 1-2 items going out. At least your clutter won't grow if you stick with this method.


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## NEfarmgirl

I joined a group on another website and we started a 40 bags in 40 days challenge. After that we have been doing a monthly challenge to throw or donate 465 items. We can start by getting rid of 1 item on day 1 of the month, 2 on day 2 and so on. You can work in reverse and get rid of 31 (or 30) on the last day of the month and work backwards. Every individual item counts as 1; including paper! When we keep track and log it online for others to see, it seems to be a big motivation to keep going. 

We have a rule, if we haven't used it in a year we get rid of it. Most will say it should be 6 months but some items we have are seasonal and can't justify getting rid of them unles they have sat for an entire change of seasons.


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## Terri

I turn the TV set on when I feel overwhelmed, to distract me from the feelings as I work. For me, it helps. And, I pat myself on the back if I can work for the entire talk show (or whatever)!


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## DW

I, too, believe if you bring something in then something goes out. I continually work on any clutter. My husband is the packrat. Throwing things away is good! It took me a while to do this. Extra blankets go to the homeless shelter and they will LOVE you for this. I keep one box in my closet to donate and when it gets full, I put it in the car to take to town.


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## Belfrybat

Well, I just found out yesterday that the apartment in the senior housing complex I had hoped to get just became available. <gulp> So thinking about paring down from 1600 square feet and two outbuildings to 800 square feet and a small storage room just became reality. I've taken 4 pick up loads out of this place already, but a lot more still needs to go. Plus I just added a quilting machine on a frame that takes up 4 x 10 feet. <double gulp!>

I think I'm going to use Laura's method, but I won't be able to completely empty each room and then put back what I want to keep, but I can do perhaps a half room at a time (except the furniture that I can't handle on my own). 

Then again, I might just wait until I take possession of the apartment and hire movers to just take what I know I can fit and then get rid of everything left over. Any ideas on that method?


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## edcopp

I just ignore her.:nana:


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## mustangglp

This should be a sticky 
I brought this up with starting in the bathroom and the wife said should add another shelf:hrm:


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## Belfrybat

edcopp said:


> I just ignore her.:nana:


And why should people ignore me? I said nothing in my post that could in any way be considered offensive. Trolling is not nice.


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## Laura Zone 5

Belfrybat said:


> Well, I just found out yesterday that the apartment in the senior housing complex I had hoped to get just became available. <gulp> So thinking about paring down from 1600 square feet and two outbuildings to 800 square feet and a small storage room just became reality. I've taken 4 pick up loads out of this place already, but a lot more still needs to go. Plus I just added a quilting machine on a frame that takes up 4 x 10 feet. <double gulp!>
> 
> I think I'm going to use Laura's method, but I won't be able to completely empty each room and then put back what I want to keep, but I can do perhaps a half room at a time (except the furniture that I can't handle on my own).
> 
> Then again, I might just wait until I take possession of the apartment and hire movers to just take what I know I can fit and then get rid of everything left over. Any ideas on that method?


For me personally, I went through every box, tubby, ect....I wanted to see it, and release it. ALSO things like 'cookbooks' (my daughter and I had TONS of them) we donated them to our small country library instead of Goodwill.....All of my gardening / canning things, I put in one (ok, multiple boxes) box and gave it to my girlfriend. 
I found money in books, coat pockets, jean pockets, drawers, etc......so I am glad I went thru everything.

It was also good for me to see what I was getting rid of so moving forward, I didn't "pick the same thing up at a thrift shop" because I really, really, don't need it.

Do you have anyone that can help? Someone from church, or a club or group you belong too??


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## Maura

I found an easy way to pare down on cookbooks. I went to my handy dandy computer and entered, by hand and in large print, the recipes I actually use. I put two sheets into several clear pages and put them into a duo tang folder. I&#8217;ll keep the Julia Child books, but I have no need for a book that I use only two or three recipes from. It&#8217;s so much easier to find the recipe I need, and the page is washable and the folder lies flat.


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## Little_Bit_Red

ok, How long should one hold onto clothing that does not fit "right now"? I am trying again to get healthy and if I got rid of everything that does not fit, then lose weight - I'd have nothing to wear. I am strapped for cash - picking up a second job very soon, possibly a third as well - so purchasing even used clothing in a smaller size is difficult - the Salvation Army around me doesn't always carry the nicer stuff in plus sizes.:rain:


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## MoBookworm1957

For every new old item I bring into my house,,5 has to leave that day. Whether it's donated,given away but 5 thing leave that day.


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## edcopp

Belfrybat said:


> And why should people ignore me? I said nothing in my post that could in any way be considered offensive. Trolling is not nice.[/QU
> 
> Might not have been about you. Sorry if I was not clear about that:awh:
> 
> There is an old woman who lives in the house where I live who is pretty good at keeping things that might be of use someday. Sometimes I get like that too but I build barns and sheds and so on, so that helps.:smack


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## MoBookworm1957

Dang I wish I knew you had quilting machine, it could have came to my house. I have completely revamped my sewing room, got rid entire set of antique iron twin bed, high boy dresser, chest, 2 night stands. Even emptied the closet.


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## MoBookworm1957

I keep one size above where I am right now. And one size below where I am right now. Just disposed of sizes 26-18 plus sizes,dresses,pants,jeans,sweaters,coats. I am almost ready to go into Misses size 14.


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## MoBookworm1957

I set the kitchen timer for 30 minutes. You'll be amazed what you can accomplish in 30 minutes. I started working on kitchen cabinets first, then proceeded around the room. Even cleaned and organization refrigerator and freezer. Then the living room, washed window,cleaned baseboards,got rid of stuff hadn't used in 6 months or more. Just ideas that work for me. Even got rid of wooden bookshelves, gave then my second cousin. Painted it fire engine red, turned it on its side, made cubby for. Placed baskets in it for shoes, toys. Made a long Dalmatian cushion for the top. Everybody loves it, takes care of clutter at front door.


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## thekibblegoddes

Check out http://flylady.net . i followed her for years and it really helped get the clutter out and keep it out.

Of course, now I own a homestead, and i really will probably use that whatever someday!


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## oldasrocks

It's easy out in the country. Just build another building.


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## CountryMom22

Okay, my problem with clutter is now extreme. No, it isn't at my house nor is it my stuff.

It is now official. My FIL's house is being foreclosed on. Long story short, this is his own fault. It is the 2nd home he has lost to foreclosure, he knew this was coming, and didn't do anything to stop it. 

Now, the problem is all his stuff. Even knowing that this was coming, he has still been buying/collecting more stuff. Not garbage, per se, but collectibles, etc. My hubby has been advising/helping him to try and get rid of some of this stuff. No matter where he goes, he isn't going to be able to afford a place big enough for all of this stuff. Think a 4 bedroom home so stuffed to the rafters that there are only paths leading from one room to the other, piles of boxes and stuff everywhere, attic and basement, garage bursting at the seams. There is even piles of stuff outside. The problem is he has barely sold anything. He refuses to part with his things. His wife is the same way and now has her clutter to deal with. They are both planning through lack of planning, to dump this problem squarely on my hubby. FIL is angry at us because we don't want his stuff. We told him we don't need it, aren't interested etc., but he is still trying to get us to get rid of our furniture and take his! FIL is 74 years old and getting rid of this stuff is going to be a huge endeavor. We just found out that he has approximately 4 months till he has to be out. He hasn't told his wife yet! He has known for well over a year that this was going to happen and he has taken no steps to cope. When this all started, if he had sold some of his things, he could have paid off what he owed, and been okay. Now he stands to lose everything. I just don't get it.

How are we supposed to help someone who doesn't want to face reality. This is coming at a really bad time with winter coming on and the dead lines that my hubby is dealing with in his business. My BIL will not help/get involved at all, so the whole thing is going to fall on my hubby and I'm worried.

All of this clutter cost my FIL his second wife, his family home and will probably cost him is current wife. How do you deal with some one else's clutter when it effects your life?


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## Kris in MI

CountryMom22 said:


> Okay, my problem with clutter is now extreme. No, it isn't at my house nor is it my stuff.
> 
> It is now official. My FIL's house is being foreclosed on. Long story short, this is his own fault. It is the 2nd home he has lost to foreclosure, he knew this was coming, and didn't do anything to stop it.
> 
> Now, the problem is all his stuff. Even knowing that this was coming, he has still been buying/collecting more stuff. Not garbage, per se, but collectibles, etc. My hubby has been advising/helping him to try and get rid of some of this stuff. No matter where he goes, he isn't going to be able to afford a place big enough for all of this stuff. Think a 4 bedroom home so stuffed to the rafters that there are only paths leading from one room to the other, piles of boxes and stuff everywhere, attic and basement, garage bursting at the seams. There is even piles of stuff outside. The problem is he has barely sold anything. He refuses to part with his things. His wife is the same way and now has her clutter to deal with. They are both planning through lack of planning, to dump this problem squarely on my hubby. FIL is angry at us because we don't want his stuff. We told him we don't need it, aren't interested etc., but he is still trying to get us to get rid of our furniture and take his! FIL is 74 years old and getting rid of this stuff is going to be a huge endeavor. We just found out that he has approximately 4 months till he has to be out. He hasn't told his wife yet! He has known for well over a year that this was going to happen and he has taken no steps to cope. When this all started, if he had sold some of his things, he could have paid off what he owed, and been okay. Now he stands to lose everything. I just don't get it.
> 
> How are we supposed to help someone who doesn't want to face reality. This is coming at a really bad time with winter coming on and the dead lines that my hubby is dealing with in his business. My BIL will not help/get involved at all, so the whole thing is going to fall on my hubby and I'm worried.
> 
> All of this clutter cost my FIL his second wife, his family home and will probably cost him is current wife. How do you deal with some one else's clutter when it effects your life?


I hate to say it, because it is going to sound incredibly cruel, but the way you deal with it is to do like your BIL. Otherwise you are letting FIL's problem become your problem. It doesn't sound to me like you can reform your FIL, the only thing you can do is try hard as you can to keep from getting involved.

DH's sister and her hubby were in a similar situation a few years ago. She wanted to pretty much bring their entire stuffed to the rafters house, garage, and barn to my property. Thankfully, my DH was against it, and told her we didn't have much storage space, that whatever she brought would have to fit onto_ two pallets_ and go out in our barn. And that we could only store it for two or three months (supposedly what she told him as far as how long it would be before they got a new house after losing their current one.) The 'little' bit (two pallets wide/long and about 6' tall!) ended up being in my barn for a year until I threatened to take it all to the dump if she didn't come get it.


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## Laura Zone 5

CountryMom22 said:


> How are we supposed to help someone who doesn't want to face reality. This is coming at a really bad time with winter coming on and the dead lines that my hubby is dealing with in his business. My BIL will not help/get involved at all, so the whole thing is going to fall on my hubby and I'm worried.
> 
> All of this clutter cost my FIL his second wife, his family home and will probably cost him is current wife. How do you deal with some one else's clutter when it effects your life?


My heart breaks for you.
Your FIL needs to see someone......hoarding is an outward sign that something is wrong inside. 

Your BIL is either brilliant, and has good boundaries; or he isn't a very nice guy and doesn't do anything hard, for anyone.

IMHO you and your dh need to find a counselor that specializes in this disorder, and get pointers from her/him.
Ultimately this is not your mess, it's your FIL's mess and it sounds like it's been like this for a lot of year. It really sounds like he needs an intervention. 
My heart goes out to you.


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## Belfrybat

CountryMom, how is this your or your DH's problem? Your FIL made choices and its up to him and his wife to figure things out. If you can afford it, offer to help pay rent on a storage unit for a few months -- maybe your BIL would also help out this way? Suggest a 10x20 and let your FIL figure out how he's going to store the "essentials". 

I encourage you and your husband to distance yourself from this problem as much as possible. It sounds to me your FIL has a compulsive disorder and could benefit from therapy. But that is not something you or your husband can force. 

Good luck on whatever you do, because it sounds to me that no matter what you do it won't be good enough.

ETA: There used to be a show called "Hoarders" on TV -- don't know if it's still on, but if not you can probably catch some older episodes on-line. Watching a few shows might help you see what you are up against and give you some pointers on how to distance yourself while also being supportive.


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## Jokarva

CountryMom22 said:


> Okay, my problem with clutter is now extreme. No, it isn't at my house nor is it my stuff.
> 
> It is now official. My FIL's house is being foreclosed on. Long story short, this is his own fault. It is the 2nd home he has lost to foreclosure, he knew this was coming, and didn't do anything to stop it.
> 
> Now, the problem is all his stuff. Even knowing that this was coming, he has still been buying/collecting more stuff. Not garbage, per se, but collectibles, etc. My hubby has been advising/helping him to try and get rid of some of this stuff. No matter where he goes, he isn't going to be able to afford a place big enough for all of this stuff. Think a 4 bedroom home so stuffed to the rafters that there are only paths leading from one room to the other, piles of boxes and stuff everywhere, attic and basement, garage bursting at the seams. There is even piles of stuff outside. The problem is he has barely sold anything. He refuses to part with his things. His wife is the same way and now has her clutter to deal with. They are both planning through lack of planning, to dump this problem squarely on my hubby. FIL is angry at us because we don't want his stuff. We told him we don't need it, aren't interested etc., but he is still trying to get us to get rid of our furniture and take his! FIL is 74 years old and getting rid of this stuff is going to be a huge endeavor. We just found out that he has approximately 4 months till he has to be out. He hasn't told his wife yet! He has known for well over a year that this was going to happen and he has taken no steps to cope. When this all started, if he had sold some of his things, he could have paid off what he owed, and been okay. Now he stands to lose everything. I just don't get it.
> 
> How are we supposed to help someone who doesn't want to face reality. This is coming at a really bad time with winter coming on and the dead lines that my hubby is dealing with in his business. My BIL will not help/get involved at all, so the whole thing is going to fall on my hubby and I'm worried.
> 
> All of this clutter cost my FIL his second wife, his family home and will probably cost him is current wife. How do you deal with some one else's clutter when it effects your life?



Your fil needs a therapist, and you need to realize you can't fix him. He can only dump this problem on your DH if you two allow it, so I'd follow the bil's lead and just refuse to get involved. Easier said than done I know, but this is going to be a big mess whether you're involved or not...let it be your in-law's mess.

I read 'The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up' by Marie Kondo this summer. It's also available for free on YouTube as an audio book. It has changed my thinking on decluttering, I highly recommend it.


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## CountryMom22

Thanks for the advice guys. I know that this is his problem, not mine, but I also know my husband. He will set some boundaries, such as FIL and his stuff isn't coming to our place. I've already told him if his dad moves in here, the kids and I are moving out. My hubby doesn't want his dad here either, so I don't think we will have any problems on that front. My BIL is just useless. He hasn't had anything to do with anyone in the family for years, unless he needs something from us. He has already told us not to call him, he will not do anything in any form.

The main problem is what the guilt is going to do to my hubby. When all this started last year, my hubby was trying to help his dad to get the family things out since we didn't know how much time he had. Hubby ended up in the ER, thought it was his heart, turned out it was a panic attack from the stress. That little side trip cost me $3,000! He had to wait for me to come home to take him to the ER. His dad let him drive himself home! We only live 3 miles apart and FIL wasn't doing anything else. My hubby had been over there helping his Dad, but FIL couldn't be bothered! This man is a total waste of space.

FIL is going to do everything in his power to make this our problem. I can stay detached, I know I can't fix him, I know he won't do therapy, he wouldn't even go for marriage counseling to save either of his previous 2 marriages and he hasn't told his current wife about the foreclosure! The hoarding show does come very close to describing how he won't part with things. But on the other hand, he is willing to part with stuff but if he can't have it he'll burn it, no one else can have it! It's a very strange situation.

FIL seems to be under the delusion that he is going to buy another house! He lost this one for non payment of property tax, he didn't even have a mortgage to pay! No one in their right mind would give him a mortgage with two foreclosures and a bankruptcy on his record. He is just not playing with a full deck. If his wife leaves him over this, which she probably will, he won't have enough money to live on and his credit rating is in the dump, so I don't even see someone renting him an apartment let alone somewhere large enough to store the stuff he says he's keeping.

As my husband says, This is going to get ugly. The holidays this year will be very interesting!


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## Laura Zone 5

Contact a lawyer and see if your dh has any power to have his father 'evaluated' by a psychologist. 
I know the hospital where I used to live had a Psych unit, and they held my gf's son (he was 24) for 72 hours upon her request. In that 72 hours, they discovered he had skitzophrenea / bi polar; and needed serious hard core meds.
When he's on the meds........you'd never know.
When he's off..........he's scary.

You could look into that.

I am begging you......reach out to professionals. Your dh is cutting his life short w/ stress. Stress takes YEARS off your life, and ruins the years you DO live.
Please, for your dh's sake, for the sake and sanity of your marriage and family, please reach out to professionals.


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## CountryMom22

Thanks Laura. I agree, stress kills. I'll talk to my hubby and see if he wants to go the professionals route. At this point, I think he is just going to walk away and let his father cope as best he can. He is going to try to tell his Dad that he should look for a place to rent now so he can see how much space he will have to store his stuff. That way he can sell only what he needs to. We know that's not really going to happen, and that just about everything has to go, but we are hoping it will help him to face facts, as the info will be coming from a third party and not my hubby. 

Hopefully, we can help him to face reality. He's not hiding from it and mentally he is fine. The problem is every time he has gotten into trouble of any sort, his parents or other family members saved him. He has never had to deal with the consequences of his actions. Well now he is going to, like it or not. Time will tell.


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## CountryMom22

Well, the you know what has started to hit the fan. Today FIL said he wanted to store some of his stuff at my MIL's place. She is his first ex-wife. She said no and my Hubby told him. FIL's response was "I don't care what she says, this is where I want to put it"!

Hubby and MIL set him straight. Then a few hours later, he tells Hubby that they will be moving in with us, as we have had long term friends or family living with us before. Hubby said no, we had my brother living with us while he went to school for a semester because he switched schools mid year and couldn't get on campus housing and my friend and her boys lived with us for 5 months while they relocated back up here from VA and her hubby was an over the road truck driver. But that was 20 years ago, before we had kids. My mother stayed here for a few months at a time over the last 4 years to care for my family while I was recuperating from cancer, the 6 surgeries I had and chemo and radiation. During that time, my FIL lived 3 miles down the road and never once called to see how I was or to ask if he could do anything to help! Not once!

Hubby set him straight again, but I know this won't be the last we hear of it. He tends to keep pushing until he wears people down and gets his way eventually.

That ain't happening this time! He hasn't had to deal with me before!

Let the games begin!


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## Laura Zone 5

STAND YOUR GROUND.
Do not waiver.
Do not allow him to bully or intimidate you.
Your marriage, health and family depend on it.
Stand your ground lady!!!! GO GIRL!


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## CountryMom22

I do have to stand my ground, and I will. My family depends on it. I will be the first person in his entire 74 years that has not eventually given in. It's sad, actually.

On a good note, I have been working on decluttering some closets and have taken 3 large garbage bags full of clothes that no long fit my kids to the Goodwill store. I have also been wandering around the house picking up things that aren't where they belong. Each person in the house has a basket, and their things go in the basket to be put away. The rule is if it's not put away within 48 hours, I'm throwing it away...I don't care what it is. That really is disturbing to my oldest son who has various tractor parts and tools laying around because he comes inside from the barn an forgets to take the tools out of his pockets. 

I have also taken some fiction books that have been falling out of the bookcases and donated them to the library for their spring sale. The room looks so much better without the exploding bookcase problem!

Now to go find something else to get rid of!


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## Maura

Go girl! You are son a roll! I know it&#8217;s really hard decluttering when you realize how much of it isn&#8217;t even your stuff.

Your hubby needs to go to a counselor. Not a psychiatrist, a counselor, so he can learn how to deal with his father. Your FIL sounds like a true narcissist, and like a true narcissist is an expert at getting others to dance to his tune, especially the guilting part. It&#8217;s easy to say just ignore the man, but there are years behind the relationship, years of a child being trained to pacify the old man.

The only option I see for FIL is to put his stuff in storage, and he pays for it.


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## CountryMom22

Your right, Maura. My husband could definitely use the benefit of a counselor. I just don't think he'll go. But I will suggest it. I think he is planning on having me back him up so he can't cave in to his father. I told him I'm fine with that and he can blame the whole thing on me. I don't care as long as it has the desired result.

When it comes to putting his stuff in storage: A) he has an entire house, 4 bedrooms, attice, full basement, 2 car garage, huge great room not to mention all the stuff that is outside. B) all of these rooms are so stuffed that there are only small aisleways between the piles. We are not talking about a "normal" amount of stuff C) he can't afford a storage unit. He can't afford to find a place to live. The stuff just has to go.

He is in far deeper financial trouble than he is willing to face. I feel sorry for him but he won't listen to anyones advice. He only hears what he wants to hear. He is finally going to have to pay for 74 years of doing whatever he wanted, no matter the consequences.

Now it's time to face the consequences, and there will not be anyone sweeping in at the last minute to save him. I may be sorry for him, but I'm not stupid. He isn't coming here, no matter what!


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## CountryMom22

I have also extended my de-cluttering rampage to the shed! Threw out a few boxes of garbage that the oldest son put in the shed. I mean literal garbage. Why he didn't just throw this stuff away is beyond me. I gave my hubby some garden tools with broken handles to repair, and I consolidated all my pots etc for starting seeds.

It feels so good to be accomplishing things, no matter how small!


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## MoBookworm1957

Little_Bit_Red, if I knew what sizes you wore. I would send you some of my plus size clothing. I am now out of plus sizes, getting healthy losing weight and inches. I have good taste in clothing, I won't send you Junk. Mainly because I don't buy Junk.


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## MoBookworm1957

CountryMom22, have an auction! Auction everything we did this for my grandfather. What a mess! But after it was over my grandfather was relieved. He made enough to pay off his mortgage completely.


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## Annsni

My husband's dream is to someday move onto a particular 52 foot trawler that we fell in love with and our timeline is about 10 years from now when our youngest is out of college. However, to move from a 2000+ square foot home to a boat means major decluttering and my husband is a small scale hoarder so we've had our work cut out for us. I told him one day that if he wants to move onto the boat (a Kadey Krogen), we need to start decluttering now plus it will make our lives better right now instead of living with this clutter for the next 10 years. It seems to have made a difference! So we cleaned out our shed and garage and when we came upon a box of sound cables that he had since college (he's now 55) that has always just moved around with us because "They are still good and I might need them", I just said "Krogen. Remember, we're 'krogening'." Wow. He put that box in the donate pile fast!!!  So now our mantra is "krogening" - getting ready to move onto a Kadey Krogen. I don't know that we ever actually WILL move onto the boat but hey, I'm going to milk this for as long as I can.

Now to get him to clean out the bedroom that is his "office" that you can't even get into. That will be the big test.


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## CalicoPrairie

I like the Fylady way of starting to declutter, with the 3 boxes (throwaway, giveaway, put away, I think it is). I also think there is huge benefit to making sure the dishes are done, and making sure I am dressed and made up so I'm ready for whatever the day throws at me. There's something about being in my PJs all day long that (for the most part) doesn't make me feel motivated to do anything...and for me, that means anxiety.

Being organized has done a ton to help quell my stress and anxiety, and once I got a handle on good daily decluttering habits, I felt much better. Not saying that's your issues, but if you suffer from anxiety or high stress, that's a good place to start to bring peace and order back into your brain.


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## IMFoghorn

Here is a helpful hint I found on another site around New Years two years ago. 

Take all the clothes on hangers out of your closet. Put them back in with the hanger hook facing the back of the closet. Whenever you take something out to use, rehang it with the hook facing out. After one year give or throw away anything that still has the hook facing the back of the closet.

I have extended this principle to no matter where it is in the house, if I haven't touched it in a year I probably never will. Out it goes.


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## romysbaskets

After reading this thread..I contacted the friend of a young lady by text to request the address to get rid of what I have been storing to drive it to her.. Yes, we been taken advantage of and have been storing 9 boxes and 2 huge bags in our limited room small walk in closet. It takes up a lot of space we both need to utilize. I can't get to my own things right now. grrrr Yes helping out comes with a cost...she came back once to pick up only what she could fit in one suit case. That was more than 6 months ago. It was only supposed to be here for a few weeks...??? The only things we need to get rid of here..are some clothes..old ones we brought here that were tired when they got here and my acrylic yarns now that I spin my wool yarns myself.

I am with all of you that say to allow the FIL to figure this out himself! It is hard enough to deal with our own things, much less the life collection of a hoarder/family member...as much as we love our family...that is on them. I have zero extra storage myself where I am with a walk in closet I can't destash without getting that young lady's stuff out and no storage on the island that we don't use. 

No matter what assurances the FIL might make...when it comes to storing items for him....you are at his mercy to come get it later if ever.... Stay tough with your decision not to store that huge amount of possessions! As luck would have it..they may very well end up to be yours to get rid of later! I think an auction would be a great way to go but it hardly sounds doable with what you are facing..he seems quite unwilling to part with his "collection."


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## MoBookworm1957

For some reason, I seem to have kitchen items of my youngest son. Called him earlier,told him it would be packed up for Christmas. If her didn't take the items home with him. I shouldn't have to store the things his great grand grandma left him and neither should his brother. My pots and pans are granite ware. If he doesn't pick them up, then I would donate them to my niece who is moving out for the first time.


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## CountryMom22

Yes, MoBookworm1957 and Romysbaskets, an auction would be the logical answer. But I don't see it happening. He has taken a few things to a local auction, but not much. Hopefully that is a sign that he is beginning to realize he just can't pull himself out of this one and he is going to have to get rid of all of it. Unfortunately, he has told his wife, who is also a hoarder in her own right, and her response was that they should go on a second honeymoon! That wouldn't be my response to losing my home but whatever. Not my problem and I'm doing my best to keep it from becoming my hubby's problem.

Right now I'm dealing with the clutter and chaos of a kitchen remodel. Having the supplies and tools all over the place is driving me crazy, but at least I know it's only temporary. This also makes it a good time to go through all my kitchen stuff and get rid of anything I don't really need. 

I also need to go through our book shelves. We have at least one book case in each room, so there is a lot to go through. But the local library won't be accepting donations until March and I don't know if I can deal with a bunch of boxes sitting around until March. I may just wait until March to do book cases so I can just get rid of the stuff right away. That is always more satisfying because the job is truly complete.


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## MoBookworm1957

CountryMom22, you might donate books to your local jail, preschool,or prison. I can't donate my books to jails or prisons because of the content. They have tendency to get testy about books on how to disarm bombs,trip wires,booby traps. Also they get testy about school books on forensics. Just an idea.


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## CountryMom22

MoBookworm1957 said:


> CountryMom22, you might donate books to your local jail, preschool,or prison. I can't donate my books to jails or prisons because of the content. They have tendency to get testy about books on how to disarm bombs,trip wires,booby traps. Also they get testy about school books on forensics. Just an idea.


These are great suggestions. They also made me think about the local hospital and maybe some assisted living facilities might have small libraries that could use the books. I have both fiction and non fiction that they might be interested in. Some children's books too.


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## MoBookworm1957

Sounds like the plan.


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## fishhead

I keep nibbling at the stuff and remind myself the goal is to get things organized and minimized so I can leave this state. The more areas that I open the lighter I feel.


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## MoBookworm1957

I'm down to 5-6 foot metal cabinets(linen cabinets in the 30's) of fabric and 2 huge laundry hampers of scrap fabric that I have stashed in my sewing room. That's about a third of what I had. Yay me! Using it up making quilts for Veterans in the local nursing home for Christmas. Also cleaned out the pantry, re arranged it. When I get the last 16 twin size quilts done going to retackle my sewing room.


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## Belfrybat

Bookworm -- you are doing great! Since moving to this one bedroom apt. I am struggling with fabric storage. Right now most of mine is in plastic tubs in an off-site storage unit, but I hope to whittle the collection down so I can keep it on site within a year. ...If only Connecting Threads would stop coming out with new collections in my favourite colours and styles.... <sigh> This new collection is so tempting.


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## MoBookworm1957

Quilters never have enough fabric, but I haven't bought any in 5 years. I worked the fabric department at Wal Mart. So hard, only bought fabric for 2 special order quilts. Then only bought what I need exactly.


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## MoBookworm1957

I asked my youngest son for fabric this year for Christmas. My oldest son got me a small chest freezer already delivered.


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## MoBookworm1957

For the stuff you can't take to your new apartment,


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## MoBookworm1957

Sorry Strawberry hit my hand here' s a picture of her.


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## gam46

Newcomer to this thread. I am a stuff magnet who lives in a large house which has long needed decluttering. Now I'll soon be moving to a small apartment which I intend to maintain almost spotlessly. This means I have been and am getting rid of lots of stuff. I like for my stuff to go to "good homes." The hens have been re-homed along with accessories. I go often to donate to our local thrift store, give books to our library, stop at the recycling center, and give something to friends. Even the deep pantry has to be cleared out. Can't take it all. Local food pantry gets some and friends get some. Today many, but not all, my canning jars will go to a friend who will use them. Some fabrics I've carted around for 30 years now belong to the ladies' needlework group at church. My plants have been divided so just lots of sprigs will go with me. Some items such as my several extra sewing machines will, hopefully, sell. Continue whittling down my wardrobe. If it doesn't fit, hang just so, has a stain, or needs mending, I won't move it.


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## CountryMom22

gam46, sounds like you are really making progress on the decluttering. Sometimes it takes something major like a move to get one started. It's great to know that others are able to use what you no longer need, isn't it?

Keep up the good work!


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## Laura Zone 5

gam46 said:


> Newcomer to this thread. I am a stuff magnet who lives in a large house which has long needed decluttering. Now I'll soon be moving to a small apartment which I intend to maintain almost spotlessly. This means I have been and am getting rid of lots of stuff. I like for my stuff to go to "good homes." The hens have been re-homed along with accessories. I go often to donate to our local thrift store, give books to our library, stop at the recycling center, and give something to friends. Even the deep pantry has to be cleared out. Can't take it all. Local food pantry gets some and friends get some. Today many, but not all, my canning jars will go to a friend who will use them. Some fabrics I've carted around for 30 years now belong to the ladies' needlework group at church. My plants have been divided so just lots of sprigs will go with me. Some items such as my several extra sewing machines will, hopefully, sell. Continue whittling down my wardrobe. If it doesn't fit, hang just so, has a stain, or needs mending, I won't move it.


I went from 4K sq ft, to an 1100 ft apt and a 100 sq ft storage unit.....to a 14 foot moving van.

If I had it to do all over again I would have paid for the storage unit, until I was 100% sure (6 months minimum separated from my stuff) BEFORE I gave it away.

I miss A LOT of the things I gave away. 
A lot.
I wish there was a do over button in life.


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## gam46

Glad that a friend wants my dehydrated foods which cannot go to food pantry and are more than I need to take. 

Am keeping an inventory of contents of packed boxes. Some are purposely labeled to not be needed for at least six months.


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## Belfrybat

gam46 - I wish I had done a better job at marking boxes when I moved to this one bedroom apt. My categories were way too broad and I find about once a week I have to go over to the storage unit and paw through boxes to find something I need. I think I probably need to spend a day over there opening each box to inventory the contents and tape the inventory sheet to the outside. 
Thank you for that idea. 
Other than the "I can't find...." scenario, going from a 1600 square foot house with lots of closet space to a 800 square foot apt. with dismal closet space hasn't been as difficult as I thought it would be. The cat, however, would tell you differently!


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## MoBookworm1957

Belfrybat, where did you move to? If you don't mind me asking.


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## Belfrybat

I moved to Abilene (about 60 miles NW from where I lived) to an "over 55" senior apartment complex. I love being close to everything I need (or think I need), but do miss the ambience of small town living.


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## MoBookworm1957

Thank you for the information. I have a sister and brother in law in Huntsville, Tx, a niece in San Antonio.


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## romysbaskets

I began simply despite our place being ok..or so it looks! Our walk in closet is where I need to downsize really. I did find kitchen items by looking for multiple utensil items in my kitchen that I really don't need. I bought an ice cream maker for $7.50 in time to make icecream for my birthday, Dec 21st. That meant I needed to get rid of other things as it is big. When we wrapped all our Christmas gifts, I had reused boxes from last year...out the door they went this time. I donated two boxes of my own clothes that will not fit or I didn't like. I rehomed 130 skeins of yarn! They were acrylic, I sold them cheap so it made it a great deal for both parties! I have gone through and thrown away chipped items. I think by taking off the easy excess, you begin by layers. When I move back to Washington, I intend to give away all the furniture to my son and he is keeping our minivan. We have a trailblazer that needs a bit of work now but we will only move with the one car. I will also give him a lot of kitchen stuff. By doing a trade for Alpaca, I will be spinning yarn for my use, to sell and a portion she gets back. This helps prevent the yarn hoarding..oh my! It would be so easy to do with Alpaca! I hope all of us that are attempting to downsize a bit are making progress....I am! I liked the suggestion to trade an item or more for an item coming in....worked very well for me! Keeping in mind we all just had Christmas! It is fun to make progress!


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## romysbaskets

When storing or moving boxes or bins...a big suggestion! Label all the boxes clearly with permanent marker, number them and write a basic content with which room they go into.... Write out a master list with the number of the boxes and what is in them. I found that to be a life saver when I was moving from state to state with 4 kids, oh my! I labeled them very well, kitchen, bedroom, bathroom and if it was food/chemical etc...but also what was in them with a number. That is very important even when you store things. It is easy to forget what is in each box or bin over time...I helped my sister down size for a couple days....many hours...and in return she gave me a lot of empty bins...which should be enough for me to make my next move with, yay! It is not fun to want something you can't find and have to open all kinds of boxes to find it..I am so sorry Belfrybat!


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## Belfrybat

As soon as the weather is warmer, I plan to go over to the storage unit and inventory the boxes and post the inventory on the side of the box. When I moved, my categories were just the room, or in the last day of packing "Misc". Since I'm using the storage unit for items I don't use every day and for fabric/ quilting supplies, I really need it better organized.

Then I hope to re-organize this apartment. The kitchen is rather large (for an apartment) and with it better organized I can use one cabinet for non-fabric quilting supplies. I think that will help control the clutter.


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## Maura

Follow Romy&#8217;s advice. I&#8217;ve moved several times. When I had help, I discovered that they dumped things out and reused the box... grrr! I&#8217;ve had them put boxes of stuff I don&#8217;t need on top of boxes of stuff I do need&#8230; grrr! again. 

Make sure you have enough boxes that they will not be emptied and reused during the move. Make sure the room they will go into is marked in big letters. It&#8217;s okay to have a room for things you don&#8217;t need right away. Let&#8217;s say, a walk in bedroom closet, or a basement. This separates the must haves right now from the put it away later, and you don&#8217;t have boxes of stuff getting in your way.


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## COSunflower

I dreaded cleaning out my kitchen and dining room cupboards after I retired and had time. I've lived in this mobile since 1974 and raised a family in it so I KNEW that there would still be alot of unneeded stuff to throw out or give away still even though I tried yearly to take everything out and wash down the cupboards...SO....I decided to give it all a face lift and paint my kitchen and dining room cabinents a pretty country blue. After I took off all the cupboard doors I HAD to do something about the STUFF since it was all visible - not only to ME but everyone else!!! One of my granddaughters is WONDERFUL at sorting. purging and cleaning so I enlisted her help and we made numerous loads to the thrift store and now they are all nice, dejunked, clean and pretty. It took me from August to this past week to get both rooms and cabinents done because of health problems but I am SOOOO glad that I stuck with it!!!!


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## LuLuToo

Work on one room every week. Sort things in to different totes - Give away, Put away, Throw away - and DO it. 

LuLu


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## Fairfarmhand

I'm new to this forum and I'm curious how it's gone.

I started a massive purge. (I should name 2016 The Year of the GoodWillBag--Hide your stuff kids!)

I've cleaned the attic and our closets pretty ruthlessly. I've also done a major purge of my kitchen cupboards. There;s still so much to be done, but it feels good to not have that junk in the house.


I just choose one area at a time..a closet, drawer or cabinet and toss things like crazy. 

There are six of us in this household and it's overwhelming. But I will not quit. I see the areas that are improved and it motivates me to keep going. a little at a time you know.


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## COSunflower

I'm going room by room...Since the kitchen and dining room are finished I've moved on to what I call "The Toy Room". It's a spare room that has a twin trundle bed in it and the grandkids keep their toys there and play in it alot. One of my older granddaughters and I removed EVERYTHING from the room last weekend. We filled up the garbage and recycle bins and took a giant load to the thrift store. Washed the room down and started painting in the closet. We've picked a color theme for the granddaughter's "nursery" - I have 5 granddaughters and they all like to play with baby dolls and play house. They love helping since it is THEIR play room.  Once it is done, I will move on to my sewing/craft/computer room.


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## Belfrybat

I've started on the storage unit. I'm taking two boxes out at a time and sorting them right there on site. I'm posting an exact inventory of what is in the box and discarding some items, but not many. For me right now it's mainly about organizing. I have 38 boxes and plastic tubs. I hope to whittle that down by a third but have them organized, inventoried and on shelves so I can easily find things.


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## gam46

Now that I'm almost settled into a tiny apartment and a small storage unit I'm still working at avoiding clutter. Hoping to get my own little house with big yard so I can garden again. Already have filled balcony and stair landings with plants. Meantime, I use kitchen waste as food for the residents of my worm farm. Some things that I could not sort prior to moving are being sorted now and much is still being discarded. When I realize I can no longer wear a garment which is still usable it goes to the donate box. When the old blender finally gave out but it's glass jar was still good that was donated.Some lovely fabric which I've packed around too long is going to the quilting group at church.

Never having been a good housekeeper, I think I'm finding hope now for keeping at the business of decluttering.
,


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## bluefin

Fairfarmhand said:


> I'm new to this forum and I'm curious how it's gone.
> 
> I started a massive purge. (I should name 2016 The Year of the GoodWillBag--Hide your stuff kids!)
> 
> I've cleaned the attic and our closets pretty ruthlessly. I've also done a major purge of my kitchen cupboards. There;s still so much to be done, but it feels good to not have that junk in the house.
> 
> 
> I just choose one area at a time..a closet, drawer or cabinet and toss things like crazy.
> 
> There are six of us in this household and it's overwhelming. But I will not quit. I see the areas that are improved and it motivates me to keep going. a little at a time you know.



This is the method we're using. When I started to look around at everything we've accumulated over the years it was shocking

One closet at a time, then one room at a time and on and on.

The barn with the dead rototillers, mowers, tires and the rest will be a challenge though. I've been to yard sales and have seen folks buying dead tillers, mowers, trimmers etc. so I may give that a try when spring yard sale time rolls around again.

It does feel great to purge this clutter...just need to stay motivated.

Wish me luck!


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## alida

My 650sq condo isn't cluttered,but the closets are full and the "stuff" I don't use often, or use seasonally is in my storage locker in the basement of the building. The locker is 4' wide 6.5' high and about 9' deep,and it's full.

Today I got a notice that repair work has to take place in the pipes above my locker and I need to empty it by Monday Nov 5. The condo board offered to help me empty it into a available common area in the building which would be secured for 2 weeks. No way are my possessions going into a common area, secured or not. 

So, it's all coming into my apartment. I've decided to take the opportunity to do a thorough purging of the numerous Rubbermaid bins and all the other loose stuff which I haven't opened or used since I moved there 10 years ago and put it in the locker. As for the rest, I have shelving I can put up in the locker and all my canning jars and supplies will finally be in one place that I'll be able to access without moving my luggage first. 

My plan is to follow some of the very good suggestions above and do one box per evening. I'll have a shredder set up too, and bags labelled garbage Goodwill. Then once it's all sorted and back down there I'll be able to move a few things like my steam cleaner out of my front closet into the locker and then the front closet can be sorted out too. 

I do have motivation to get the purging done promptly. I'm hosting 10 people for a early Christmas on Dec 2nd and it'll be very cozy with all of them in my home to say the least. There's no room for the locker stuff too.


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## MoBookworm1957

Getting ready to purge Christmas decorations,Halloween Decorations,odds and ends. Finally finished the kitchen for the third time. Now have designated place for canner,jars,lids,plastic freezer containers. Started revamping the worthless pantry. 1*shelf that I have to get a step ladder to use. Put bunch of appliances,Nordic Trak,,on Craigslist,swap,shops and just donated.
Got new broom holder installed my self. Maintenance man will waste 3 hours telling you why he can't do something. Next month going to install another set of wire shelves for bulk items, toilet paper,paper towels,laundry soap etc. Going to try to find easier moving cart for countertop dishwasher maybe storage underneath. Cart it's sitting on now not well. But in all fairness it's s particle board. Then on to living room closet. Then sewing room. Major overhaul there. Got a Singer Serger don't use much wasting real estate.


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## COSunflower

Still working on the toy room, computer/sewing room and want to work on my bedroom also. I still have a bunch of stuff in the livingroom that we moved out of the other rooms there that need to GO before the holidays get here!!! BUT - have gotten rid of tons of stuff and am almost down to the nitty gritty in all rooms. I will be by next summer vacation when my granddaughter is here to help me again (hopefully). She will be old enough for her worker's permit and I know that she really wants to get a paying job this summer so her little sister might have to be my "helper".  I plan to get back on track with all the painting after the new year. My goal is to be totally done with the toy room and sewing room. Plan to attack my bedroom this summer - take up 30 year old dog smelly carpet, maybe get a new bed, paint...the works!!!


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## MoBookworm1957

Starting on the sewing room closet so I can clean out the living room closet. Working on pie safe,grandfather's WWII foot locker coffee table,linen closet


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## COSunflower

Isn't it funny how one thing leads to another and then you have a BIGGER mess than you started with??? LOL!!!


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## alida

I'm not sure how the contents of one locker, which I described further up can expand to fill as much room in my condo as they have, but Lord Love a Duck my apartment is full, and reminds me of a second hand store at the moment!

As planned I opened one bin and what did I find but Christmas lights. Many many Christmas lights dating back to when I really decorated for the holidays. I've just started decorating for Christmas again so I spent some time plugging in every strand to see if they were good. Then I replaced bad bulbs with good ones from other strands and threw out the leftovers. Very satisfying and I can't wait to put them up. 

I was so pleased by the lights that I opened the next box and found some craft supplies and dress patterns, all from the '80;s when I was in my 20's and shoulder pads were big enough they seemed like wings. Some call them vintage now, I call my choices fashion mistakes. The patterns are in the garbage now where they truly belong along with some dried up glue guns, and half finished, badly done cross stitches. I contacted my local crafts guild and they are interested in the unused cross stitch silks, and a stack of Threads magazines. So tomorrow they're out the door and one bin is completely empty while the second one is half way there.


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## Annsni

Alida - I learned years ago one Christmas that I spent an inordinate amount of time untangling Christmas lights and trying to find that one burned out bulb when new strands are 50 cents after Christmas! So what I now do is to buy 4 new boxes after Christmas, pack up the lights that we take down by wrapping them over a piece of cardboard so that they can unwrap easily and I pack it all up. The next year I go for the open lights first and if a strand doesn't work, I give myself 5 minutes to fix it or else it's garbage. I have new lights already in the box so I don't feel so terrible! Then at the end of that year, I know that maybe I only used one box of lights from the new ones so I'm good for another year. Maybe the following year I'll buy another package or two of lights from the clearance but as long as I have 2-3 packs, I feel good.  It's definitely helped my sanity!


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## MichaelZ

Take EVERYTHING out of the room or shed. Do a thorough cleaning of the empty space. Then only put back what you absolutely must. Chuck the rest. Or if you feel bad about tossing an item that still has some value, put it on the side of the road with a big sign FREE - it will go. Once that space is cleaned, you will not want to clutter it up again. At least not right away.


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## alida

Annsni said:


> Alida - I learned years ago one Christmas that I spent an inordinate amount of time untangling Christmas lights and trying to find that one burned out bulb when new strands are 50 cents after Christmas! So what I now do is to buy 4 new boxes after Christmas, pack up the lights that we take down by wrapping them over a piece of cardboard so that they can unwrap easily and I pack it all up. The next year I go for the open lights first and if a strand doesn't work, I give myself 5 minutes to fix it or else it's garbage. I have new lights already in the box so I don't feel so terrible! Then at the end of that year, I know that maybe I only used one box of lights from the new ones so I'm good for another year. Maybe the following year I'll buy another package or two of lights from the clearance but as long as I have 2-3 packs, I feel good.  It's definitely helped my sanity!


Yep, after I was done I did wonder if fixing them was the best use of my time. It's done now though, and I'll try your method going forward,it would certainly be easier. 
Once my locker is available to me again, I'm going to sweep it out,put up the shelves and then return only what I really need. I can already tell that barely half of what I had to take out is going back in. Won't miss it at all.


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## Maura

It&#8217;s amazing how much stuff just gets lost when you move. Since we&#8217;ve been &#8220;moving&#8221; for three years you&#8217;d think we have nothing left but the clothes on our backs. Then, this past summer we&#8217;ve done a reverse move because of the divorce. Loosing half of everything really opens up a house. I still have to purge and am doing that little by little as I clean and paint the rooms.


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## MoBookworm1957

Have to get in sewing room/ Strawberry's room. Have decided I really dislike the desk that I use as cutting table. So cleaning out drawers then will give the desk to the neighbor's son. He gets work space to do homework,models. I gain floor space. If the desk top was different, I might reconsider the desk. Maybe I should look at counter top first. Took the coffee cart back into kitchen,cleaned it out too. But the desk takes up alot of floor space. Before I got the desk I used the end of the sewing desk. Going back to that everything was close at hand,pretty handy.


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## alida

alida said:


> Yep, after I was done I did wonder if fixing them was the best use of my time. It's done now though, and I'll try your method going forward,it would certainly be easier.
> Once my locker is available to me again, I'm going to sweep it out,put up the shelves and then return only what I really need. I can already tell that barely half of what I had to take out is going back in. Won't miss it at all.


A month or so ago I wrote about having to empty my storage locker for a week or so so that repair work could be done on the pipes above it. I took everything into my apartment and used the time to sort through it all, with a deadline of December 1st as I have a lot of company coming on the 3rd. 

I'm happy to report that following some of the suggestions from you folks resulted in less than half of what was in the locker being returned there. I put up shelving in the locker, labelled rubbermaid bins on the shelves and my canning supplies closest to the door. It looks great and my apartment is back to its regular reasonably tidy state,though I did have to steam clean the carpets after having all those boxes stacked up everywhere. 

I did find that once I finished the locker I turned my eyes on the front closet, under the kitchen and bathroom sinks and laundry closet. One by one I emptied them, cleaned and returned only what I actually use. About all I have to tackle now is my bedroom walk in closet and that's a job for January.

Since doing all this I've spent the last few days decorating for a early Christmas, lights up everywhere, all my Christmas Victorian houses and Snow globes out on display, nutcrackers guarding a bunch of miniature Christmas trees etc. ornaments on a four foot wrought iron "tree" which looks better than it sounds, and more.


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## Annsni

That is awesome Alida!!! Congratulations on a job well done!!!

:nanner:


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## alida

Thank you Annsni, I could barely tell you what's gone now,but I do enjoy having the things I actually use in a place where I can find them easily.


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## LuLuToo

I have far too much clutter and never know where to start in cleaning or organizing. We went to a Christmas dinner tonight. Came home 2 hours later to find the kitchen cleaned up beautifully! By our 13 year old daughter! Sweet girl! Though she just did it b/c she likes things tidy, I gave her $20. She was thrilled, but not as much as me! I guess there is hope for our kids.

LuLu


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## oldasrocks

LuLU, if you ever put her up for adoption call us- LOL.

My wife hates clutter. She drives me nuts putting stuff away never to be found again. We just need a bigger house with labeled storage lockers in each room.


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## killi

I always keep a waste basket in the main rooms so that I can discard the trash then and there itself. Making a list is one of the easiest way to tackle trash. Always start with the easiest room with less clutter so that you would not get so tired of the process that easily. If you let the clutter accumulate there will be a lot of dust in the house and that can lead to a lot of respiratory problems. I used to store a lot of old things in my spare bedroom. After I decluttered the room there was a lot of dust left behind. I finally had to get rid of all that dust using a henry vacuum . Making a list would make the whole decluttering process easier.


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## MoBookworm1957

Oldasrocks,
You don't need a bigger house.
But a master list where you put stuff.


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## emdeengee

I love a good de-clutter and because I am a bit pedantic when it comes to organizing and keeping things neat I tend to run out of stuff to do in my own house so have helped a lot of family and friends with theirs.


I don't know what your place looks like but from some of my experiences it seems to me that there is always a lot of '"stuff" on the floor and on surfaces. If this is the case in your place then I would like to give you three tips for starting to get de-cluttered 

First - the floor is for feet only. Nothing should be on your floors except your feet, pet paws and the feet of furniture. 

This instantly de-clutters a room and creates visual space. It also makes vacuuming or washing floors very easy as you don't have to move anything. And it really is a safety feature. When we first lived together my husband used to kick off his shoes or boots in the front hall and just leave them. After tripping over them and picking them up and putting them away and requesting politely that he do this many times I had a bad fall coming home with groceries - smashed the eggs to pieces. When he came home he found all of his shoes and boots on the front lawn. Message received and 40 years later I have never tripped over his shoes again.

In order to get started you may have to create a spot in one room that is going to be even more cluttered for a while as you move things into it to clear the other rooms. While doing this be sure to throw out anything that is "garbage". You can make decisions about where to put other items or what you want to get rid of later.

Second - any flat surface (counters, table tops, dressers etc) should have only 30% of their surface covered with items and these items should be appropriate for the specific flat surface - things you need and use all the time. 

End tables and bedside stands are best if they have a lower shelf onto which you can put a basket to group things together but this is not always the case so this is one exception to the floor rule. A large basket will hold things you need but that would just clutter the flat surfaces. For instance my bedside stand has a lamp, telephone and clock on the top and on the lower shelf a box of tissues, my current book and glasses and a travel cup of water (with sealing lid as I got tired of knocking over a regular glass). The dining table or eating counter have nothing on them but as long as you keep things in the middle (placemats, napkins, salt and pepper, candle or flowers or fruit bowl) then you will still have lots of room. 

Kitchen and bathroom counters tend to clutter easily so you have to just keep the things you use everyday on display and pushed back against the wall or in a corner. And be sure to keep 70% of the surface space clear for work areas. This will take organizing of the cupboards and shelves but you can start by clearing one cupboard into which you can put small electric appliances and create pantry shelves so that when you come home from the store you have a place to put the new groceries.

Bed tops should hold pillows and blankets only. And of course the occasional cat or dog as they don't listen to "get down" anyways. The surface of couches and chairs should hold bums only.

Third - paper clutter is the worst and seems to grow on its own. If you have a desk or a shelf for papers get a few baskets. As soon as you pick up the mail or newspapers or sales flyers open and go through and think about each item. Create a box for paper recycling and throw what you don't need out or want right away. Sort your important mail into "immediate action" and "deal with later" baskets. Magazines and newspapers you want to keep can go on a bookshelf or in a basket. Keeping like things grouped together always looks neat and tidy and up to date even though you may still have newspapers announcing the start of WW2 at the bottom of the pile.


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## oldasrocks

MoBookworm1957 said:


> Oldasrocks,
> You don't need a bigger house.
> But a master list where you put stuff.


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## oldasrocks

MoBookworm1957 said:


> Oldasrocks,
> You don't need a bigger house.
> But a master list where you put stuff.


We're just north of Lebanon. You are welcome to come over and start listing stuff. We'll supply meals and you can bunk in the tree house-it has heat and AC. It would be wise to forward your mail here too as you will be here for quite some time. I'll go buy a box of discs to store the list on.


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## Forcast

You


Maura said:


> Throwing away is absolutely essential. And, doing the entire room is absolutely essential. If you have to do it in five minute units, then do it but keep going back. Begin with 2 trash bags and a box or basket. You divide everything into the throw away bag, the give away bag, and the keeping box. Go through the keeping box a second time and see if you can&#8217;t throw away or give away things.
> 
> When keeping, is it sentimental? Is it a necessity? Is it time to replace it? If it&#8217;s sentimental, would your family throw it away if you died tomorrow? Photos can go into an album or scanned into your computer. Towels can go to the Humane Society. Three boxes of the same thing can probably all go into a single box. Old cleaning supplies are old because you don&#8217;t use them- throw away. If you have stuff that really belongs to other people, box these and tell them to come and get it- you are not the keeper of other people&#8217;s sentimental junk.
> 
> Go through everything, every shelf, every corner. Once you clear off a shelf to divide into three bags, your shelf is now ready to be cleaned and you can put the &#8220;keep&#8221; onto the shelf, after you&#8217;ve gone through it a second time. Move to the next shelf. Divide, wash shelf, put away. A closet you may need to completely empty, but you can also begin with the shelf above the rod, deal with that, wash shelf, put things away. Remove 1/3 of the clothes and hangers, deal with it, move to the next 1/3.
> 
> Spend all day if you have to but finish the room. If you only have a small space to declutter, like a desk or your car, you can do a little at a time and get it done in a week. For an entire room or entire house, you will never finish it if you do a little at a time. Once the room is tidy you can spend five minutes every day to keep it that way. Put the dirty clothes in the hamper, put the book in the book case, dust, etc.
> 
> If you don&#8217;t know where to start, look up. You probably have a top shelf, or top of a tall boy that you can start with. Work your way down by shelf and drawer. Clear a space on the floor to do your sorting. You have to remove everything from the drawer or shelf, not rummage through and throw out one item. Empty the shelf or drawer. Keep, give away, trash. Do I use this? Do I love this? If you don&#8217;t love it then you don&#8217;t need it. Does this make me feel good, or does it bring on guilt? Does it make me feel good, or neutral? Trash, trash, trash.


You Could do this for a living. Ill be your first customer!


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## oldasrocks

I feel sorry for you folk with only a house to store stuff in. We have a 50 X 6o shop and a couple storage sheds to boot. The overload from the kitchen goes into the shed or cellar if food. My wife has 1- 55 gallon barrel of shoes and purses 2 more of clothes, and one with extra bedding. They re food grade sealed barrels. Our old conversion van stores her winter or summer clothes depending on the season. We NEED all 3 bread makers even if two of them are new and still in the box. Everyone needs at least 3 pressure cookers. We're down to 15 cans of coffee. We only have 3 riding mowers.


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## MoBookworm1957

You only have 2 feet. Only need 10 pairs of shoes; winter,muck out, spring, sandals,tennis shoes, heels, maybe hiking boots.
Same with purses,winter,spring,summer,formal,clutch.
Most of my clothes are interchangable.
1 pressure cooker in house maybe a spare in shed.
1 bread machine in house, 1 in shed.
Think of all the space you would have in the house,barn,shop, and storage shed.


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## Forcast

With the warm weather and surgery date May 30th. Im feeling way better and the last few days started getting my ducks in a row. Shamefull to say but Im clean my own personal mess up. The reason in case I die during surgery. Told ya . I have my bedroom almost done its a three day job. Found lots of old papers some mine some my late parents just trash. Cleaned out my clothes. 4 large trash bags for donation. 4 large trash bags of trash too. Now im slowung down a bit while I run the clothes Im keeping through the wash. I found all important papers. Deeds, life insurance, birth cert. Parents death cert. just incase. Current bills: power, home car insurance, car titles, property tax that kind of stuff. Things I had a hard time finding with my parents passing. Now its all in a large minilla envelope, with a sign! WHEN Im DEAD! I also wrote a few notes to my kids. Im sure Ill survive. just using the surgery as my mental excuse to get stuff done I put off cause I felt so crappy. And I was so mad at my parents for dieing and leaving me stuck with such an offal mess.


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