# I am so sad



## Leister Square (Feb 7, 2010)

I'm sorry to post here in this forum for the first time with a long sad cry for help. My son, my wonderful youngest child just turned 18 in August. Right before graduating, he had a meltdown of sorts, tried to commit suicide but thankfully texted a friend who came over and alerted us. Before this, we were clueless. Yeah, he had been having trouble in school since the fall, grades dropping, losing interest, etc. But it was senior-itis, right? Wrong. So wrong. He was in-patiented for a week and then out a week back in April, then back in. He's cutting. He finally got put on antidepressants that seemed to be working and saw some initial relief, but 6 months later he's back in a really bad place. His new girlfriend swears by a sulfer treatment, and wants to make him an appointment at a homeopathic doctor. This morning I talked to him and he said he might need to go back to the hospital. I luckily found a place that does assessments 24/7. All the docs say you shouldn't go off your meds for at least a year in a situation like his. Maybe he could talk to them about trying homeopathic options? I remember seeing a show about parents who deal daily with children who want to kill themselves. I felt so bad for them, and now here I am. He's a different person than he was a year ago. Closed, tight, expressionless, trying to fit in. Started smoking, got a tatoo. He used to be open, honest, a leader, fun loving, interested in everything. Of note, he has a pretty serious chest wall deformity and had surgery 2.5 years ago to correct it. They put bars in his sternum and then turn them to pop the sternum out. Extremely painful, normal to be in the hopsital for a week on drip morphine, etc. He was supposed to get back to regular activity in 6 months, but he never got over the pain. Tried everything. Still in pain. The bars come out, in a few months to 8 months, depending on what the doc says. I think this constant pain has had an effect. anyway, I'm sitting here in tears and needed to talk to someone, anyone. We love him so much. I physically hurt for him and everything he's going through.


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## bajiay (Apr 8, 2008)

Hi. First of all, I just want to say that I am sorry for what you are going through. It is nerve wracking. I know first hand.

I will tell you also that the allopathic doctors that you are taking your son to are not going to agree with homeopathic medicine. They will more than likely tell you that it is a bunch of balarky and not to bother. I say, take him to a homeopathic doc and don't tell the other docs. I am in my senior year of getting my Bachelor's Degree in Alternative Medicine. I've also used alternative medicine to cure myself of leukemia, as well as to help my daughter with the many health issues that she's had. You don't have to do what they suggest, but I think you will be surprised by what they tell you. Isn't it worth a try?


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

As a mother of 2 teenagers my heart goes out to you. I am so sorry you and your child are going through this tough time.


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## Leister Square (Feb 7, 2010)

I would try anything right now, but I wonder if it's a good idea to take him off "regular" meds when he's acute. ?? I know the regular doctors will dismiss homeopathic as ridiculous, but what if he comes off the other meds and something goes really, really wrong? I don't know if I could live with myself... I wonder if he can try supplementing what he's on with any homeopathic treatment and slowly come off the regular stuff as he feels better. On a good note, I spent the afternoon worrying about him because he didn't come home after his shift at work (3 hours). I texted twice, then called twice. Nothing. Luckily I had a friend's number, and he was with him, on the phone to the homeopathic office getting some information. That's more than he's done lately, a good sign?


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## haley1 (Aug 15, 2012)

i say try homeopathic

in the mean time get him on niacin 50mg every hr, my get a hot flushing but safe... make sure not to buy non flush, it does not help

100mg of magnisium every hr, very safe... excess gets flushed out of body

vit d3 50000iu every day for a week then once a week

these are all safe

good luck we are thinking of you and him


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## Leister Square (Feb 7, 2010)

Thank you for the supplement suggestions. I will try these asap! Also, his regular doctor said he should take folic acid which he's been doing about a week.


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## Molly Mckee (Jul 8, 2006)

My DGS committed suicide at 19. My DD and SIL did everything they could to help him. It was so hard and still is. 

Do not change his medicine unless the doctor changes it, this is not the time to change to homeopathic medicine. If you haven't talked to his Orthopedic surgeon about his depression do it now, see if they could remove the braces early, or what he does with this type of problem. Chronic pain is depressing, especially for a younger person. I would be sure all his doctors know how bad his problem is, even if they can't tell you anything. I would try to get my son to sign permission for the doctors to talk to me, my DH, or both of us. If all his doctors do not know about his problems they can't help and it might be possible to change his meds or give him something more.

PM me if there is anything I can do or if you just need someone to listen. 

Generally speaking, homeopathic medicine, if it works at all, takes some time. You do not have time. Fighting depression is very hard, the aftermath of suicide is so much worse.


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## bajiay (Apr 8, 2008)

BTW: I am in NO WAY suggesting you take him off of his meds. Homeopathic docs can work with those meds. I just suggest you talk to a doc and see how you feel about it.
Good luck!


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## Leister Square (Feb 7, 2010)

Lucky for us he has an appointment with the orthopedic surgeon tomorrow 9 a.m. He was supposed to go in May for a 1 year check, and with everything going on since April (the onset) I forgot to make it. The doc will no doubt see all the cutting he's done. After that appointment, we're going straight to the emergency evaluation place, and he may get admitted right after the evaluation. He is leaning towards wanting to get admitted, which tells me it's bad. He's not home, he never is these days. He's with a good friend who knows what's going on though. Last night he came home early and cut himself more. So if he stays out till bedtime and goes to sleep, tomorrow we start the doctor appointments. I suggested he have his friend spend the night, too. We'll see. It's scary and sad. I agree about not taking him off his meds while he's acute like this.


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## pattycake (May 16, 2010)

I am so very sorry. My prayers will be with you.


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## cathleenc (Aug 16, 2007)

hugs. I have a child with mental health issues too and it becomes such a sad, trying situation sometimes. 

We use homeopathic extensively. Having said that - do not decide to take him off of meds or do supplements of any kind on your own without ample input from both doctors. Transitions are very very hard and need to be managed.

We've found that it helps to looks for a psychologist and psychiatrist who are willing to work with a homeopathic doctor - to understand that you'll be honest with them while trying the homeopathic stuff. And to find a naturopath/homeopath who is willing to work with the allopathic doctors. 

Any doctor of any kind who says 'don't tell the other doctor' should be avoided.

Wishing you and your family strength, peace, and slow and gentle answers.


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## MichaelZ (May 21, 2013)

Praying for your son right now. *Let this young man be freed from the pain and freed from whatever is making him want to cause harm to himself. In Jesus name Amen.*


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## Leister Square (Feb 7, 2010)

Thank you MichaelZ for the prayers, and everyone else for input and prayers or good wishes. We took him today to the ortho surgeon who was surprised to see the shape he was in, considering he saw him 2 years ago and he was a fine healthy young guy with a sunny outlook. He of course saw the cutting and we told him what had been going on since April. He said he could take the bars out early but his preference would be to leave them in until May 2014 when they're due to come out. Less chance of the bones going back to that horrible concave way they were. I could put my fingers into the "hole" in his chest to the second knuckle --almost like a cleavage would be--between his pecs. Anyway, then we went to the assessment place and they are keeping him inpatient. I got one call from him asking if he could "get out of here." I explained it was the observation thing and soon they'd get him a room and get him in the program, like before. I think he didn't realize he could say "no" at any point--he's 18 but just barely! We hopefully can visit tonight if they get the admission done before 6 p.m. Oh, and the girlfriend stopped by since she didn't have my number. We were able to chat a few minutes about the homeopathic thing. At least we're on the same page about he can't just go off his meds and try something new while he's acute. So that's good, because girlfriends always know more than moms! I was wanting to call my mom to tell her, but didn't want to worry her. I got a call from her today, which my other son took since I was exhausted and taking a short nap. Full of bad dreams and wierd situations, I might add. I had to call my sister to find out they admitted her to the hospital for tests for blood in the stool. She's the youngest 81 I've ever seen, but 81 none the less. So, please add her to your prayer list if you pray. She took Advil last night for sciatica pain and believes it was a bad reaction--this second hand from my sister since mom's phone seems to be discharged. When it rains, it pours!


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## sand flea (Sep 1, 2013)

sweetie, the cutting is *sometimes* a symptom of an abusive assault. Depression as a reaction to his physical issues, is normal... but if his personality has changed only because of the surgery (and not for some reason you don't know about) then talk-therapy might help him a whole lot more than anti-depressants (which have some bad side effects - especially for young people who are still growing and developing mentally and emotionally).

And if there's more to the story than you know about, then the talk therapy will help him bring it out - it's like an infection for some people - and deal with it, and he'll be just fine.


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## Leister Square (Feb 7, 2010)

I'm back with an update. He got out today after 4 nights/5days. He has been diagnosed with a mood disorder rather than depression and stopped his antidepressant and put on lithium and abilify (which he was on, but they upped it from 10 to 20 mg). I have to say in retrospect he was exhibiting some manic moods like spending too much money and fixating on one thing (like the 70s. For some reason, he is really into the 70s and wanted bell bottoms, a record player, etc., which he bought). And James Dean. I just don't know this kid anymore. But he did improve greatly while in there, and he has a good regime of therapy set up starting first thing tomorrow morning. The doc at the inpatient place actually told me that she has worked with patients who do homeopathic and says it can be wonderful, but you need a very experienced doctor. She gave me a couple of names!


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## Danaus29 (Sep 12, 2005)

Puberty sometimes does horrible things to children. Not saying that was all there was to it but it really contributes. 

I was going to suggest an inpatient stay at a facility where they offer counseling/coping sessions. The right facility/program can make a world of difference.


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## motdaugrnds (Jul 3, 2002)

Leister, you're certainly on top of the situation. I really like that you're open to a variety of suggestions.

With your son just turning 18 and his significant changes having occurred within the last year, I would suggest the following:

First and foremost he simply needs a "professional" to talk with who does not view pills as a fix-all. I highly recommend one who actually works within a "systemic" frame of reference and prefers behavioral changes over insight. One who literally sets up a "behavioral contract" that *your son* views would be helpful.

Secondly, I value homeopathy. Have used it and it does not take a long time to start working. (I could tell a definate difference within a week.) It can get expensive; however, it it could give your son some pain relief for just a few months (until he gets into more healthy behaviors), it would be worth it.

Lastly, I would not take myself (and others who live with you) out of the treatment process. There is a reason he cuts himself at home and prefers to be with his friend. He is obviously experiencing something he is not talking with you about...something internal that he needs to talk about with the professional I mentioned above.

Keep your hope high, stay positive with your son and get supports for yourself!!


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## Candy (May 12, 2002)

My Granddaughter she is a teenager (14) was on this once a week, and what a difference it made in her. My son in law also is on this and he feels better also. I am a firm believer since I have witnessed the benefit!


vit d3 50000iu every day for a week then once a week


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## Karen (Apr 17, 2002)

As a parent, I can only imagine your total desperation in trying to find answers and solutions to your child's mental, physical, and emotional pain and anguish. You're on the right path by being open to all things to resolve, or make better, the situation and in going to the ends of the earth to find answers. God bless you; many parents would give up because it's just too hard. 

I'm sending you cyber hugs and my heart goes out to you. Your family will be in my family's prayers.


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