# friends visit



## lindamarie (Jul 9, 2013)

We are getting a visit today from a friend who is ultra left, liberal, vegetarian, tree hugging, enviro. I am no longer vegetarian, ultra left liberal leaning, burn wood, and cut trees. This should be interesting. It will be luke having my mother and family come visit. I really need a moat, and a drawbridge. Oh yeah, we're poverty level compared to friend. Wish us luck. I'm going to try to be on my best behavior.


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## Bret (Oct 3, 2003)

You still have something that he or she wants, even if it is only to pump and dump. There is richness in what you have. Ya gotta love'm. Good work and have fun with them. 

Do you have a box that you could write "rattlesnakes" on? It will look nice on the table if it gets too deep. 

It's the best I can suggest on the spur of the moment, short of digging the moat.


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## lindamarie (Jul 9, 2013)

They all think we're nuts, living like we do but everyone always wants to come out here. I'm going to start charging admission. I was already called a traitor because I went back to eating meat. Wanting o to get impeached or resign will probably get me tarred and feathered. I am really getting tired of having to explain why we want to be independent, self sufficient, free thinking, non ideological sheep.


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## Becka03 (Mar 29, 2009)

Good Luck I know what it is like- I have family that no longer talks to me cause I got so tired of trying to explain why I don't buy things I can make and why I want to be self sufficient....
they think I am nuts-


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## 7thswan (Nov 18, 2008)

My thoughts and Prayers are with you.


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## AngieM2 (May 10, 2002)

Best wishes. Save some good stories for us.


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## susieneddy (Sep 2, 2011)

you can tell by your post that you are already going to cause problems with your friends. Instead of doing that refuse to talk about politics. It isn't that hard to do. 

I have friends who are very right wing and we get along fine because we just don't talk about politics.


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## lindamarie (Jul 9, 2013)

Politics doesn't even how to mentioned. Just the fact that we live in the woods, keep to ourselves, and don't conform to sheep tv


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## shannsmom (Jul 28, 2009)

It sounds as if this "friend" visit is stressing you already....is it worth it? I would not allow people to visit my home who called me a traitor or ridiculed my choices...real friends don't do that. There are plenty of people with your new mindset in the world, you just have to find them


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## MO_cows (Aug 14, 2010)

If this friend is truly a friend, they won't judge you. Don't sweat it. If you are happy with how you live, it doesn't matter what others think.


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## homebody (Jan 24, 2005)

Do you think they are trying to reform you or do you think they are secretly envious? 
Discussions about "religion" and politics (which means o to me) have made me a lot of enemies. I ain't changing their minds :fussin:and they ain't changing mine. So we just avoid each other. Birds of a feather really do flock together.


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## backwoods (Sep 12, 2004)

I too, have wondered why "they" keep coming to visit (us, in this case). Sometimes, I think its just to see if we're really still alive...lol. Othertimes, I think its because they "deep down" are envious, and don't have the guts to do it themselves. Sort of like going to a re-creation of a "Pioneer Village" to get a peep of what they did back then, and it gives them wonderful stories to tell when they go back to their 9-5 city job. 
I have HAD to try to avoid discussing any politics at all with my best friend of over 30 yrs. She still THINKS she's a liberal, but in most ways she really isn't. I think she's still "lost in the '60's." LOL


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## lindamarie (Jul 9, 2013)

More trying to reform us, maybe a little envious. It was always a tight knit group that I never felt comfortable with anyway. I always felt beneath them, they feel that I'm living a life of misery and hardship and throwing away my degrees. Think ubber chic, hippie, educated Manhattanites. My old life that I walked away from almost 20 years ago. Guess it might not be a good idea to mention that I want to learn how to hunt. They are still drinking the koolaid, only it is organic and in a high priced fancy bottle.


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## lindamarie (Jul 9, 2013)

backwoods said:


> I too, have wondered why "they" keep coming to visit (us, in this case). Sometimes, I think its just to see if we're really still alive...lol. Othertimes, I think its because they "deep down" are envious, and don't have the guts to do it themselves. Sort of like going to a re-creation of a "Pioneer Village" to get a peep of what they did back then, and it gives them wonderful stories to tell when they go back to their 9-5 city job.
> I have HAD to try to avoid discussing any politics at all with my best friend of over 30 yrs. She still THINKS she's a liberal, but in most ways she really isn't. I think she's still "lost in the '60's." LOL


I feel like a living history museum, come and see how the pioneers lived. I agree, I think they show up just to see if we are alive and what we're up to. I don't have time to cover all the preps and I'm really tired of feeling like I have to hide what we have.


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## sherry in Maine (Nov 22, 2007)

why let them come?
why do you need to prove anything?
If they are not friends, then by all means tell them no.
Their approval doesn't matter.
Dont stress yourself out; you will feel like a used dishrag when you are done- all over folks you dont have anything in common with.


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## susieneddy (Sep 2, 2011)

Do you invite them to visit or did they contact you to say they were coming? If they contacted you then you should have said don't bother since we really don't have anything in common now. If you invited them suck it up and make it as pleasant as possible


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## Paumon (Jul 12, 2007)

Well, judging by your posts it sounds like there is mutual contempt happening. They are contemptuous of you and your ideals and you are contemptuous of them and their ideals. None of you are actually friends with each other any more and you're all in opposition to each other.

So why bother with them at all? It doesn't make any sense to continue associating with people who have become strangers to you and visa versa.

Do them and yourself a favour. Just tell them you no longer have anything in common with them and you feel it's best to end any association with them and they're no longer welcome to come to your place. You'll be better off without them and their condemnation and I'm sure they'll be better off without you too.

I'm sure you can start over again and find all new friends who have the same ideals as you and are supportive of your lifestyle.

.


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## paradox (Nov 19, 2012)

lindamarie said:


> They all think we're nuts, living like we do but everyone always wants to come out here. I'm going to start charging admission. I was already called a traitor because I went back to eating meat. Wanting o to get impeached or resign will probably get me tarred and feathered. I am really getting tired of having to explain why we want to be independent, self sufficient, free thinking, non ideological sheep.



LOL - when I read the OP I immediately though - well don't show them the "I want my vote back" thread.

As for the above - we get the same things. "Yall are wierdo hermits. Why do you hate town and how can you grow your own meat - that's just cruel and gross?" Then they are always wanting to come out and use our range or have a cookout or go camping on the place. It is like we are a state park now. Might as well put in some cabins and RV hook ups. 

Just remember that no matter how much they insult you with little backhanded comments, they still want to come to your place which means somewhere deep inside they think it's cool - even if they cannot admit it. And most likely they insult it to cover for the fact that they might like to live that way but know they totally lack the skills. ;-)


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## whiterock (Mar 26, 2003)

so you have sheep? You can always take em out to the pen and tell em to have a conversation with the woolies.


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## Maura (Jun 6, 2004)

Can't you meet somewhere half way? A two hour dinner and you're done. Maybe they are more accepting than the last time you saw them. You'll know after two hours if you want to have them in your home. Friends might want to know how you do things, why you left the city, and so forth. Are you being too sensitive, or are they being insensitive? If they are insensitive, then boldly draw the line and say "Nobody's asking you to live like this. Go home."


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## Old Vet (Oct 15, 2006)

lindamarie said:


> I feel like a living history museum, come and see how the pioneers lived. I agree, I think they show up just to see if we are alive and what we're up to. I don't have time to cover all the preps and I'm really tired of feeling like I have to hide what we have.


Live your own life and let them do the same. Don't live the life that they want you to live. I may be cranky but I life the life that I want to.


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## lindamarie (Jul 9, 2013)

Paumon said:


> Well, judging by your posts it sounds like there is mutual contempt happening. They are contemptuous of you and your ideals and you are contemptuous of them and their ideals. None of you are actually friends with each other any more and you're all in opposition to each other.
> 
> So why bother with them at all? It doesn't make any sense to continue associating with people who have become strangers to you and visa versa.
> 
> ...


I'm not contemptous of anyone, and I'm not trying to prove anything. I had no problem having meat eaters over for meals containing meat that I cooked, I have no problem with how one thinks, lives, worships, etc. I think we all have something to learn from each other, whether we learn something that's good for us or learn not to make those same mistakes. I would never put a plate of chicken on the table for a veggie, tell someone that everything they believe in is wrong, that they wasted their education. I would like for people to respect my choices, my way of life, without belittling me. 

No one twisted my arm to live the way I do, it was mine and dh. I just think that people don't like when someone goes against the grain. It makes them look inside themselves, and possibly start them thinking....hey what the heck am I doing. People are afraid of change, whether it be in their life or in the life of someone they know. People are used to be funneled thru the maze and hoops, it scares them when they see that someone got out. Not all of us need the brass ring or want to be Pavlovs dog. 

I'm a nice person, you don't know anything about me except what you read and how you choose to interpret it. You make me out to sound like a closed minded.....


Btw.....they invited themselves. 

Sorry if I sounded a little bitter in the above.


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## lindamarie (Jul 9, 2013)

Maura said:


> Can't you meet somewhere half way? A two hour dinner and you're done. Maybe they are more accepting than the last time you saw them. You'll know after two hours if you want to have them in your home. Friends might want to know how you do things, why you left the city, and so forth. Are you being too sensitive, or are they being insensitive? If they are insensitive, then boldly draw the line and say "Nobody's asking you to live like this. Go home."


The only thing that has really changed is my eating habits and the fact that I no longer am willing to be led blindly by politics. Everything was fine until I started being a little more open minded. They left the city years ago, the city didn't leave them. Maybe I am being too sensitive, but its hard when someone looks at your cookstove and replies, "how quaint".


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## unregistered41671 (Dec 29, 2009)

lindamarie said:


> Sorry if I sounded a little bitter in the above.


You told the truth and did a god job doing it. I would not apologize for any of your post.


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## lindamarie (Jul 9, 2013)

paradox said:


> LOL - when I read the OP I immediately though - well don't show them the "I want my vote back" thread.
> 
> As for the above - we get the same things. "Yall are wierdo hermits. Why do you hate town and how can you grow your own meat - that's just cruel and gross?" Then they are always wanting to come out and use our range or have a cookout or go camping on the place. It is like we are a state park now. Might as well put in some cabins and RV hook ups.
> 
> Just remember that no matter how much they insult you with little backhanded comments, they still want to come to your place which means somewhere deep inside they think it's cool - even if they cannot admit it. And most likely they insult it to cover for the fact that they might like to live that way but know they totally lack the skills. ;-)


Oh my, if my family read my posts it would turn into a war. My grandparents are probably turning in their graves....oh no, she's not a bleeding heart, liberal Democrat anymore and she left new York. My mother still does not understand that eat eggs that don't come from Kroger or WalMart. Irish, Italian, Yankee, catholic, democrats


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## Ohio dreamer (Apr 6, 2006)

From what you are saying I sounds like you are trying to decided if you want to continue this friendship or not. I understand how hard it is when we change and grow and "old friends" don't follow suit and do not like that we changed. 

They are coming, you didn't say no when you had the chance, so "suck it up" and do what you can to make it a pleasant visit. After the visit evaluate how the visit made you feel before, during and after. Act on what you learn from that self evaluation.....either work on the relationship and help them understand you better, continue the relationship as it is and accept that they will never "get" you, or lastly cut ties with them.


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## unregistered41671 (Dec 29, 2009)

I can assure you LM, *you have not offended me*.
And not for my benefit, but I would almost bet that there will be a few likes at the bottom of this post.


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## sand flea (Sep 1, 2013)

> I would never put a plate of chicken on the table for a veggie, tell someone that everything they believe in is wrong, that they wasted their education. I would like for people to respect my choices, my way of life, without belittling me.


Ohio dreamer's suggestion is a good one. What occurred to me, is that your friends may leave you feeling pressured to conform to their lifestyle - or be excommunicated. It will be a good test, of your friendship if they can respect your choices. You might be surprised! They might be re-evaluating their own choices... and feel they need to touch base with you.

We have to leave open a space to add new friends. Old friends may stay friends, but often life happens and that friendship passes. I have 1 friend who dates back to 7th grade. We're 57 this year... and our friendship has changed some over the years. Life, husbands, kids, and deaths have happened. But we can still giggle over silly "inside" jokes... on ourselves.


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## firestick (Oct 19, 2008)

LM you have not insulted me either. Believe me, I understand exactly what you're saying. You should meet my family and former friends sometime. Your description sounds familiar.


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## backwoods (Sep 12, 2004)

Seriously? Get off the whine wagon. She OBVIOUSLY wasn't "trying" to "OFFEND" anybody here. Just telling it like it is between her and her friends/family. I'm SOOO sick of hearing people say how "OFFENDED" they are. Please put on your big girl/boy pants already... it OFFENDS me to hear how "OFFENDED" you are.


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## SugarMag (Jun 30, 2011)

You could see it as an opportunity to expand their horizons...
If I chose friends by their politics/religion, I wouldn't have so many friends, and that would be a shame.
It's true that some friendships can't endure any change of thinking.
Their loss!


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## lindamarie (Jul 9, 2013)

I guess I've been put in my place. I am truly truly sorry for what I said. None of it was meant to offend. As far as tree hugging, bleeding heart liberal, vegetarian, Italian, Irish, etc etc; that's me. I'll always be a Yankee, Irish, Italian, catholic some of the other things have changed. People evolve, they grow and change as new information, ideas, needs, wants etc emerge. As long as your changes don't hurt you or someone else that's all that matters. Whatever someone's values, beliefs, lifestyle, etc you should be true to yourself. I was not trying to thrust my lifestyle on anyone else, I just wanted to be treated as an adult who is happy with my way of life and not made out to feel like less of one. I dont need anyone to "egg me on", I'm a big girl, I speak for myself and my thought are my own. Thank you for pointing out that I am new here. I will try to be more considerate of those who have been here longer before posting. I will also try to remember to tuck my psychology degree back on the shelf.

One last thing....you remind me of my drill instructor, he had a way of making you feel 2" tall with just a few jabbing words.


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## Homesteader (Jul 13, 2002)

lindamarie said:

"People evolve, they grow and change as new information, ideas, needs, wants etc emerge. As long as your changes don't hurt you or someone else that's all that matters. Whatever someone's values, beliefs, lifestyle, etc you should be true to yourself. I was not trying to thrust my lifestyle on anyone else, I just wanted to be treated as an adult who is happy with my way of life and not made out to feel like less of one."

This would be, with a few slight changes, the very thing you could say to your friend(s) if they make any disparaging remarks!


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## SugarMag (Jun 30, 2011)

I think it's too bad that your friends can't be more open minded. Obviously, they wouldn't visit if they didn't care about you!
Some of my old friends have changed in ways that make them less easy to get along with, and I don't interact with them as much.
I have changed as well, and perhaps I am less easy to get along with, for some people, and they don't enjoy me as much.
Still, I keep meeting new people, and making new friends.
I enjoy the like- minded, for sure, but I have some super good neighbor friends that I don't have many beliefs in common with.
I really never had much common philosophy with my family, but I sure love 'em.


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## unregistered65598 (Oct 4, 2010)

LOL I want to see the pics of you tarred and feathered!!! LOL


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## lindamarie (Jul 9, 2013)

Merks....take a look at post #27, I think I got verbally tarred and feathered in that one.


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## unregistered65598 (Oct 4, 2010)

Linda don't let it get to you. I sent you a pm. You have a lot to learn, but OH my you have a lot to share. I for one am so glad you have joined.


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## k9 (Feb 6, 2008)

The only one that can make you feel 2" tall is you.


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## Becka03 (Mar 29, 2009)

backwoods said:


> Seriously? Get off the whine wagon. She OBVIOUSLY wasn't "trying" to "OFFEND" anybody here. Just telling it like it is between her and her friends/family. I'm SOOO sick of hearing people say how "OFFENDED" they are. Please put on your big girl/boy pants already... it OFFENDS me to hear how "OFFENDED" you are.


AMEN- thank you for posting this! I am so sick of people trying to turn SEP posts into - this crap- 
Linda- you are on the right path- I just sent you a PM- don't be discouraged- you are leading your own life


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## Ernie (Jul 22, 2007)

I see the perpetually offended have found a new source from which to mine all their offense.

LM, if people are offended ... they will TELL YOU. Feel free to ignore someone who presumes to speak on the behalf of others.


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## Becka03 (Mar 29, 2009)

SEP is for those who take care of themselves- and the self sufficient- I am beginning to be turned off by the crap that is being posted to deter those to take care of themselves


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## goatlady (May 31, 2002)

Take your OWN advice, Paumon! "So don't assume everyone thinks the same way you do." and PLEASE do NOT presume to speak for me. Geez, talk about being judgemental!


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## Becka03 (Mar 29, 2009)

goatlady said:


> Take your OWN advice, Paumon! "So don't assume everyone thinks the same way you do." and PLEASE do NOT presume to speak for me. Geez, talk about being judgemental!


Thank you for this post - thank you Goat lady:happy:


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## Allen W (Aug 2, 2008)

lindamarie said:


> Merks....take a look at post #27, I think I got verbally tarred and feathered in that one.


I wouldn't sweat it, you can't make everybody happy.


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## Becka03 (Mar 29, 2009)

Allen W said:


> I wouldn't sweat it, you can't make everybody happy.


BOYAH
yep


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## AngieM2 (May 10, 2002)

lindamarie - you've done absolutely nothing wrong. Continue on.
Some people overstep their bounds. In real life and internet.


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## lindamarie (Jul 9, 2013)

Thanks for the support everyone. Its hard enough when your own family and friends think you're nuts, but I really didn't expect to be blasted on this forum. I thought people who came here were like minded. All I can say is wow, is there anywhere left that we don't have to be politically correct?

Anyway, friends didn't show up. Our 3 mile road is not drivable at this time and that weren't up to a hike. What this lesson taught me, is that they will more than likely become acquaintances' rather than friends. Its a shame really, when being honest, realistic and trying to provide for yourself is looked down on. Maybe if people took off their rose colored glasses we might make some progress.

Btw....it was mentioned that at least I could get health care now and since our income is low it shouldn't cost anything. This is not the example we wish to make to our dgds.


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## Ernie (Jul 22, 2007)

lindamarie said:


> Thanks for the support everyone. Its hard enough when your own family and friends think you're nuts, but I really didn't expect to be blasted on this forum. I thought people who came here were like minded. All I can say is wow, is there anywhere left that we don't have to be politically correct?
> 
> Anyway, friends didn't show up. Our 3 mile road is not drivable at this time and that weren't up to a hike. What this lesson taught me, is that they will more than likely become acquaintances' rather than friends. Its a shame really, when being honest, realistic and trying to provide for yourself is looked down on. Maybe if people took off their rose colored glasses we might make some progress.
> 
> Btw....it was mentioned that at least I could get health care now and since our income is low it shouldn't cost anything. This is not the example we wish to make to our dgds.


As you walk, you will undoubtedly leave many people behind. Surely these aren't the first friends you've lost along the way?


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## bouvi (Jun 1, 2013)

are you happy? if you are thats all that matters in life do not waste time worrying about what others think its your life


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## lindamarie (Jul 9, 2013)

Ernie....no, have lost others, just tired of being judged from the outside instead of what's on the inside. Funny though, when there's storms and power outages the people who judge me the harshest are the ones who usually want shelter at my place. Go figure.


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## Ernie (Jul 22, 2007)

lindamarie said:


> Ernie....no, have lost others, just tired of being judged from the outside instead of what's on the inside. Funny though, when there's storms and power outages the people who judge me the harshest are the ones who usually want shelter at my place. Go figure.


It'll get worse.


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## kasilofhome (Feb 10, 2005)

Linda---

I think mamy of us have been in your shoes---I can relate--Honestly ten years ago alot of what I do---and the bulk of folk here consider normal everyday stuff--

collecting eggs--birthing a goat--skinning a goat--making soap--ect is odd to those who do not do this.

So, imagine my surprize to learn that someone close to me relation wise--but time zones far---is getting chickens----------I am having so much fun being able to listen to what is his goal for the birds and to aid --suggest what kind. 

I was with him two years ago and they buy their meat by the oz--at a time--ok it was not that bad but they shopped prior to meals--head out at night for breakfast --stop off at the store before heading home from work--two trips in a matter of hours--That too me was odd and not the way we grew up---moms well stocked pantry and freezers had been empted over the last few months of her life --they were cleaned and unplugged with no plan on refilling them as---"things just get lost and old and that is such a waste"---I love his wife but she was more fancy suburban and my mom was delighted that she was FINALLY adding her own touches and doing things her way. Mom wanted it to become Their home.

I like that he want birds.


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## Twp.Tom (Dec 29, 2010)

Linda, I am sorry that post #27 upset you-I hit the like button-after reading more of the thread,I noticed that you felt that you were tarred/feathered by that post. I have went back and unliked myself on that post-as I do not want to upset folks on these threads.Especially you. You have my utmost respect regarding the way you are living(off grid,self sufficient,etc.). I really enjoy most of your posts,and you seem like a real sweetheart. I hope that you continue to share here. I hope the best for you.


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## unregistered41671 (Dec 29, 2009)

Twp.Tom said:


> Linda, I am sorry that post #27 upset you-I hit the like button-after reading more of the thread,I noticed that you felt that you were tarred/feathered by that post. I have went back and unliked myself on that post-as I do not want to upset folks on these threads.Especially you. You have my utmost respect regarding the way you are living(off grid,self sufficient,etc.). I really enjoy most of your posts,and you seem like a real sweetheart. I hope that you continue to share here. I hope the best for you.


Hey Tom, #27 is the post I made and not the one that that got me and others riled up. The post above mine was deleted by a mod and now my post is #27. I can assure you that LindaMarie and I have no problems.


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## lindamarie (Jul 9, 2013)

Possum Belly said:


> Hey Tom, #27 is the post I made and not the one that that got me and others riled up. The post above mine was deleted by a mod and now my post is #27. I can assure you that LindaMarie and I have no problems.


Absolutely no problem. I am finding like minded people. Didn't mean to open a hornets nest. I would think grown people would be able to have an intelligent lively discussion without resorting to open hostility.

Are people so insecure that their only recourse is to lash out at others. For years I have towed the line, not feeling comfortable, but so afraid of upsetting friends and family. Now at 52, friends and family don't like me voicing my opinion. The way I see it its their loss. I've traveled, met different people, lived in cities and towns. I think we all have something to learn from each other. Heck, I'm raising my dgds, i would welcome advice on toddlers.


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## lindamarie (Jul 9, 2013)

Ernie said:


> It'll get worse.


Thanks, any ideas how to grow a thick skin?&#55357;&#56844;


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## mpillow (Jan 24, 2003)

Well I have always found that animals make the very best friends....even the ones that I eat. How many friends would lay down their life for you? Not care if you still had jammies on at chore time? And unbrushed teeth....bad breath does not faze them!

Plus whenever I HAVE to go somewhere, when I'm ready to leave---I can always say that I have animals to milk and feed....

My SIL once made the mistake of telling me that it was cruel to make pets out of the pigs and let the children feed them etc. and then make them help butcher.... I told her that I hope she liked the new colors of the styrofoam packaging in the meat section of the store. Its been 10 years since I've had anything to do with them. Ehh! They bought the Obama lie also. Again its the difference between the truth of the matter or the rosy story....She thinks the store meat was treated better than my pigs....REALLY?


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## Becka03 (Mar 29, 2009)

lindamarie said:


> Thanks, any ideas how to grow a thick skin?&#65533;&#65533;


try to remember that you are ahead of the game and are able to take care of yourself when those who are slamming you- are going to be the grasshoppers-


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## Ohio dreamer (Apr 6, 2006)

lindamarie said:


> Thanks, any ideas how to grow a thick skin?&#65533;&#65533;


Go deaf, lol!


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## sand flea (Sep 1, 2013)

LM: you know what they say about people being overly critical of others... not really liking that about themselves, but in denial about the trait, right? What can ya do? People are people, everywhere... :bored:

I've been working really hard to not use the short-hand method of categorizing folks as leftist, liberal, conservative, etc. It's a senseless evil in our society and I don't like it applied to myself... so try not to pigeonhole anyone else into the media-defined stereotypes. We be all "people" - just people. Depending on the topic, I can be anywhere on the continuum from L to R, depending on my mood that day and other thoughts/ideas floating around in my head. Same, I think, for most people. But the danged labels all by themselves: limiting, bad, and incomplete - if not inaccurate and unfair.

I do however "justify" to myself pigeonholing certain ideas. Ideas are inanimate things... and sometimes evolve, with a nudge, push, 2x4, or bulldozer. Just depends on the idea!!

If I were you, I'd refrain from telling anyone where you live... because I've lived there and know that it's one of the best kept secrets of eastern wilderness living around. If I need to ever run from where I am now, I'm headed in that same direction - though it'll some hundreds of miles south, now. It truly is "almost heaven".


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## NJ Rich (Dec 14, 2005)

This thread probably would be better in General Chat: 

Lindmarie has not offended me at all. But having people who critisize what i do or how I live are not invited here but maybe uninvited if they are looking to get on their Holier Than Thou soap box.

As for me the people who get on their high horse, "I am the only one right", get their just desserts. I have no problem telling the offending veggan (most are not that way and they can eat what ever suits them), anti's of what I do or how I live, political huggers how I feel if they are the ones starting the roast if they initiated it.

I eat meat at my table and it isn't from the food store. I hunt, I fish and I wear leather. I don't apologize to anyone. I personally roasted a women at a party who got on her high horse about "those horrible people who hunt and fish". Little did she know she was almost surrounded by about 8 fellows who do both. The anti hunter/fisherman talk from her stopped all other conversations around us.

When I turned the conversation politely away from hunting and fishing I started talking about favorite foods. We talked about chicken dishes, pasta dishes and other favorite foods. Then I mentioned I like leg of lamb._* "Oh, leg of lamb is my favorite".*_ I gave a look of horror followed by the words, "You, a person who hates hunters and fisherman have a lamb murdered so you can eat it"? She left in tears knowing she was two faced and I had showed that to all around us. Too bad so sad........... NOT! 

The hunters and fisherman there patted me on the back with words such as, "We won't be seeing her again".

Stomp on my toes and I will crush yours. Most times I am a nice person who doesn't look for trouble and wants to get along with others. But shove something in my face you will awaken the nasty side of me. 

I stay away from religious; political; federal give aways and racial subjects. That is the best course of action for me. If you want to go into those areas with me I will usually move away from you. You have every right to feel as you do and I have mine. Don't follow me and keep up your self-rightous rant or I will give back more than I received. 

Some may agree with some of what I said, many will not. So save the web space and don't bother throwing stones......

Have a nice day............ :cowboy:


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## TripleD (Feb 12, 2011)

NJ Rich I got in a conversation like that at a wedding party a few years ago. The lady was talking about how poor my county was. She said I guess you go thru the woods hunting deer to eat ? I said no I just change the bumper on my truck to the one with spikes and ride down the road. She ask what was that for ? I said you just hit them they get stuck and will bleed out by the time I get home.....


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## AngieM2 (May 10, 2002)

Rich - you were a little unclear, how do you really feel? :banana:

I am :runforhills:


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## lindamarie (Jul 9, 2013)

Jen....the dgds are working on having me go deaf. 

In my circle of people I associate with, it was always how right they were in their views and opinions, never room for compromise. If you tried to voice things from another perspective no one wanted to hear it. I always wanted to have a good conversation/debate about others views without it turning into a grudge match. Didn't work out. Ever notice that the ones claiming to be the most sensitive, give things away are usually the ones less open to ideas, especially if it is no where near what they believe. 

My being a vegetarian for 23 years didn't put a dent in factory farming, growing my own salad greens did probably save me from ecoli. 

People are so afraid to step outside the box and now I know why. When you realize that living your life how you want to and nor according to everyone else, it can get lonely. Friends and family fall to the way side. This would be a great topic to discuss around my firepit, watching the deer walk by, while someone shows me the art of hunting. 

Sandflea....i understand, time to close the batcave.


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## my3boys (Jan 18, 2011)

sherry in Maine said:


> why let them come?
> why do you need to prove anything?
> If they are not friends, then by all means tell them no.
> Their approval doesn't matter.
> Dont stress yourself out; you will feel like a used dishrag when you are done- all over folks you dont have anything in common with.


I agree. Life is too short to spend time with people who not only stress you out but will spend a good part of the visit disrespecting your life choices.


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## my3boys (Jan 18, 2011)

Paumon said:


> Well, judging by your posts it sounds like there is mutual contempt happening. They are contemptuous of you and your ideals and you are contemptuous of them and their ideals. None of you are actually friends with each other any more and you're all in opposition to each other.
> 
> So why bother with them at all? It doesn't make any sense to continue associating with people who have become strangers to you and visa versa.
> 
> ...


Old friends can be lifelong friends and those friendships are a rare gift. Then there are old friends with whom the only thing you have in common is the past.


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## Maura (Jun 6, 2004)

You mentioned we are like minded people here at HT. No, we are not. Our politics are different from left to right to tea party. We hunt all our food; we don't own guns. We have alarms and mean dogs; we don't lock our doors. We drink booze a lot; we never drink. We are young; we are old. We argue every little point; we don't argue.

I'm sure there are many people in your old group who have different opinions, but have learned to keep quiet so they don't have to fight about it. If you are 'different', then you loose the group and the safety you have in the group. It is very hard to feel safe in the group, then risk loosing it all. This is why people go along even when they disagree. Having people ostracize you or object to you can actually allow you to be free. If you can't please other people, you go ahead and please yourself. You step outside the box, whatever that box is (and your chosen lifestyle would be a box for someone else).


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## mpillow (Jan 24, 2003)

NJ Rich said:


> This thread probably would be better in General Chat:
> 
> Lindmarie has not offended me at all. But having people who critisize what i do or how I live are not invited here but maybe uninvited if they are looking to get on their Holier Than Thou soap box.
> 
> ...


Murder? *MURDER!* Pre-meditated murder. 
Be sure to pre-heat the oven.


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## used2bcool13 (Sep 24, 2007)

LindaMarie, 
Hi, first of all I really enjoy your posts.
I am sorry for the angst you are feeling. It is hard when the people you love or have long standing relationships with think what you are doing is a waste of time. I am sure everyone here can relate.
I think the life you are giving your grandchildren is something they will never forget, you sound like you can get through most any emergency without any problems. I think you should feel good about yourself and what you are doing. 
Cheers!
Alison


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## paradox (Nov 19, 2012)

I have walked away from lots of relationships that were no longer a blessing to me. Life is too short to spend it cooped up in a room with people who irritate you. Especially when they are intentionally insulting something you obviously value. I say suffer through this visit, and if it isn't a vast improvement then cut 'em loose and find new friends with the same values as yours.

As to whether or not there is anywhere left where you don't have to be politically correct - I can send you my address.


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## sand flea (Sep 1, 2013)

> As to whether or not there is anywhere left where you don't have to be politically correct - I can send you my address.


Down my way, too. We can - and do - say what needs saying without beating around the bush from all parts of that "continuum".


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## NickieL (Jun 15, 2007)

I guess I'm pretty lucky. Even though I'm a left leaning tree hugging earth loving type, the friends I have who are not, are respectful enough about my ideals even if it's not their own and vice versa. I would not welcome anyone back for a visit who was excessively argumentative who looked down on my own beliefs and as such I'd not do it to others... Even if it means holding my tounge in check. 


Sent from my iPhone using Homesteading Today


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## Ohio dreamer (Apr 6, 2006)

Agreed Nickie! Having different views from your friends make life fun. So glad you have found a good group that is open minded enough to know there are more forms of "right" then just one! My friends are the same way....I wish everyone's core group were so.


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## plowhand (Aug 14, 2005)

Hey, live like you please, show anybody that doesn't approve the road. I've never understood these supposedly "better than anyone else"/"know more than anyone else" folks, family and friends that have bad enough manners to find fault with how you live.....especially just living a independent lifestyle.

If nobody else is paying your bills, or suffering because of your actions...who gives a care what they think.
I've had folks tell me a many a time how stupid I am for keeping livestock, and living in the past....you can but it cheaper than the store ect. Don't stop them from wanting free eggs, vegetables, ect.....some are so hoggish you have to watch em close, and hide stuff.
Be nice, be kind, be firm....as long as you can.....if they or any one else gets too mouthy, hold your head up and do what you have too
I'm the local fool cause I keep workstock, and use 50 year old tractors...so I grin like a fool and keep on driving.....once and a while I hand their smartaleck comments right back to 'em and laugh and keep on.
People often love to try to make you miserable if they think your happy....it's ole scratch rising to the surface......


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## Common Tator (Feb 19, 2008)

my3boys said:


> I agree. Life is too short to spend time with people who not only stress you out but will spend a good part of the visit disrespecting your life choices.


This!


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## NJ Rich (Dec 14, 2005)

Dear AngieM2 :kissy: asked how I really feel.

If you leave me alone about what I do and how I do it you will have no issues with me. Live and let live. You follow your path and I will follow mine.

Push your beliefs on me and expect I will follow you I may not. I will usually leave and stay away from you. Push too much and I will push back harder. People I do not want to be around already know and "Don't invite themselves to my house".

Again, I would rather live and let live.

Hope this explains my position. The friends I have are precious to me. I have many. I have some enamies and most of us do. Those people know where they stand. I am not the kind of person who will smile at you and as soon and your back is turned stab you.

I have held positions of trust both in Church and in other trusted positions. I do not think I would have held those positions if I wasn't to be trusted and "Stand and Deliver" what others expected of me. 

Love me or hate me. That is your choice. I would rather be loved and get a warm hug from friends. :grouphug:

Lindamarie shouldn't endure the wrath and condemnation of those who expect everyone to walk in their shoes.

Best to all...............


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## Common Tator (Feb 19, 2008)

LindaMarie, I enjoy a good discussion. I think that if people want to come visit you in your home, they should be comfortable with your views. If they aren't, they can stay in a hotel. I notice that the folks on the left have no problem expressing their views. You shouldn't be subjected to folks looking down their noses at you while you are being gracious and hospitable. And you shouldn't be intimidated in your own home.

You can have a civilized discussion, and even an enjoyable one if the other person is intelligent enough to hold up their end of the discussion, and civilized enough and mature enough to do do without getting emotional or ugly. If they can't be civilized and mature, you don't need to have them back into your home or your life.

They did invite themselves to your place right? If they are uncomfortable, they may not be back. Sounds like it wouldn't be a great loss.


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## bowdonkey (Oct 6, 2007)

I find you are judged as you judge others. You can substitute the word treat for judge if it makes more sense to you. Whether you show respect or scorn it shouldn't surprise anyone if you get treated the same and in some cases with interest.


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## lindamarie (Jul 9, 2013)

I really try to treat everyone with respect, I also don't go inviting myself to someone's house knowing that a tense situation might arise. Luckily, she didn't make it, and I will be sure to never say yes to a visit from someone who just wants to cause stress and not enjoy a cup of coffee, some pumpkin bread and a stroll around the pond. Another lesson learned.


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## Ernie (Jul 22, 2007)

lindamarie said:


> I really try to treat everyone with respect, I also don't go inviting myself to someone's house knowing that a tense situation might arise. Luckily, she didn't make it, and I will be sure to never say yes to a visit from someone who just wants to cause stress and not enjoy a cup of coffee, some pumpkin bread and a stroll around the pond. Another lesson learned.


I refuse to enjoy pumpkin bread!


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## lindamarie (Jul 9, 2013)

Ernie said:


> I refuse to enjoy pumpkin bread!


I also make banana bread, apple bread, cookies, pies and a really great lentil burger


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## Ohio dreamer (Apr 6, 2006)

Ernie said:


> I refuse to enjoy pumpkin bread!


There Ernie goes...starting trouble again :hair. Comments like that make people want to find you and leave loaves of pumpkin bread in your unlocked car


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## mpillow (Jan 24, 2003)

He is gluten free....I think!


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## unregistered41671 (Dec 29, 2009)

Ohio dreamer said:


> There Ernie goes...starting trouble again :hair. Comments like that make people want to find you and leave loaves of pumpkin bread in your unlocked car


Always kinda figured Ernie was a troublemaker. Thanks for the confirmation. 
But, he is kin, he owns *Possum* Creek Knifeworks and he did tell me once in a PM that "us ole possums need to stick together." I reckon I had better quit badmouthing kinpossums. I will just keep my eye on him, lest I find myself laying out in the middle of the road one day.


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## bowdonkey (Oct 6, 2007)

Ohio dreamer said:


> There Ernie goes...starting trouble again :hair. Comments like that make people want to find you and leave loaves of pumpkin bread in your unlocked car


Or throw a pumpkin through the windshield!


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## sss3 (Jul 15, 2007)

Be true to yourself; you are what you are. IMO people don't change. Circumstances change people.


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## backwoods (Sep 12, 2004)

tripled said:


> nj rich i got in a conversation like that at a wedding party a few years ago. The lady was talking about how poor my county was. She said i guess you go thru the woods hunting deer to eat ? *i said no i just change the bumper on my truck to the one with spikes and ride down the road. She ask what was that for ? I said you just hit them they get stuck and will bleed out by the time i get home.....*


bwahahaha!


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## lindamarie (Jul 9, 2013)

TripleD said:


> NJ Rich I got in a conversation like that at a wedding party a few years ago. The lady was talking about how poor my county was. She said I guess you go thru the woods hunting deer to eat ? I said no I just change the bumper on my truck to the one with spikes and ride down the road. She ask what was that for ? I said you just hit them they get stuck and will bleed out by the time I get home.....


Would this be easier for a first time hunter?


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## JV_FL (Oct 12, 2013)

I don't think it is too difficult. Frankly, just be a courteous host. My sister is a liberal vegetarian from the San Francisco Bay area and frankly, an urban elitist. I talk to her all the time and we've come to an agreement we do not talk politics. There are plenty of other things to talk about. Both of us vehemently disagree with the other's views but realize we are both stubborn and not changing a thing. Now if either of us were to keep digging at each other try to convert each other, we probably wouldn't be talking. With friends I personally wouldn't keep them around if we didn't have similar philosophies. With family, I'm stuck with them so we make the best of it.

While historically I don't mind debating politics and like people with opposing viewpoints, I'm also at the point in my life where I don't want to be debating constantly with friends. My life is too busy for BS.


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## hercsmama (Jan 15, 2004)

lindamarie said:


> Thanks, any ideas how to grow a thick skin?&#65533;&#65533;


LM, You just keep doing what you're doing. As to growing that thick skin, read my signature line, it pretty well sums it all up.


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## Cindy in NY (May 10, 2002)

Possum Belly - from when I lived there:

Why did the chicken cross the road in North Carolina? 














To prove to the possums that it could be done!! :nanner:


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## unregistered41671 (Dec 29, 2009)

Cindy in NY said:


> Possum Belly - from when I lived there:
> 
> Why did the chicken cross the road in North Carolina?
> 
> ...


Cindy, that brought tears to my eyes and my long snout is kinda running. There is hope. Never thought I would be looking up to a chicken in N.C. but he/she has given me and possums worldwide something to aspire to. 
Thank you for sharing.


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## Vosey (Dec 8, 2012)

hercsmama said:


> LM, You just keep doing what you're doing. As to growing that thick skin, read my signature line, it pretty well sums it all up.


Amen! It's taken me years to grow my thick skin, but I feel thankful I've been able to do so, keep working on it LindaMarie! For me the key was realizing that most people criticize or belittle out of their own insecurities or because it makes them feel good to put others down. So sad.


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## Ernie (Jul 22, 2007)

Vosey said:


> Amen! It's taken me years to grow my thick skin, but I feel thankful I've been able to do so, keep working on it LindaMarie! For me the key was realizing that most people criticize or belittle out of their own insecurities or because it makes them feel good to put others down. So sad.


I'm not known for having thick skin. I'm known for being highly volatile and easily irritated. 

But cultivating that attitude ALSO tends to discourage stupid comments about your lifestyle ... at least from those in your physical presence.


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## manygoatsnmore (Feb 12, 2005)

Ohio dreamer said:


> There Ernie goes...starting trouble again :hair. Comments like that make people want to find you and leave loaves of pumpkin bread in your unlocked car



Ooooh, my car's unlocked....would one of you PLEASE leave me loaves of pumpkin bread?


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## Ohio dreamer (Apr 6, 2006)

manygoatsnmore said:


> ooooh, my car's unlocked....would one of you please leave me loaves of pumpkin bread?  :d


road trip!!


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## manygoatsnmore (Feb 12, 2005)

Love it!


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