# How much 'hand holding' do you do with a 6yo?



## BusyBees2 (Dec 10, 2004)

I'm about to pull my hair out today!!

My 6yo DD was given a math page with 30 addition problems and a number line. This is not new work to her! Just some practice. We then have some reading/phonics pages to do together.

She's now been at the table for 2 HOURS and it's still not done!! (Okay, so as I was typing that she finally finished it!) Math is usually her strong point. It shouldn't have been that much of a struggle!

I told her that she needed to stay at the table until it was done; no tv, playing or lunch until her work was finished. I kept little brother occuppied until I took a shower, and found that she, of course, played while I was in the shower instead of doing her work.

So here's my question to you vets. How much hand holding do you do for a 6 yo who is not working on any new concepts? Would you have sat there with her prompting her on each problem? Would you place the responsibility and time allotment in her hands? Am I out of line thinking a 6yo can equate the 'punishment' of sitting at the table until it's done to the benefit of finishing? Is it unfair to potentially leave her at the table the entire day until the work is done? Can I really withhold food? LOL

It's really not like I give her _THAT _ much work to do!


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## Tracy Rimmer (May 9, 2002)

Decide on a reasonable time for her to complete the questions and either:

A) tell her that for every question she does and gets right WITHIN that time frame (you're not giving her any more time) that she gets something she wants -- one minute on the computer, or watching television, etc.

or B) tell her that you have given her adequate time to finish all the questions, and for every question NOT done when the time is up, she LOSES something... like if she normally gets an hour on the computer each day to play her own games, she loses one minute for every incomplete question.

Motivate her with something meaningful to her. Mom turning red in the face because her blood pressure is going through the roof is NOT meaningful to your average six year old (they see no connection between their behavior and Mom's stroke).

When kids are given limitless time to complete a task (telling them that nothing else is happening UNTIL...) they tend to figure they've got all the time in the world. The day is a long chunk of time when you're six 

And good luck with your blood pressure


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## DocM (Oct 18, 2006)

30 problems for a 6 yr old?

Honestly, I've homeschooled (and graduated) 4 children. I never gave them 30 problems. Not even at the high school level. They used to do drill sheets (Saxon) for fun, and timed (raced) each other, but that was their choice and not an assignment. I would guess that it looks like an enormous amount of work (even if its not) to a small child. 

Give her a reasonable number of review problems. 10 should be enough for a concept she already knows. Get an egg timer. Tell her to have it done in a certain amount of time, (not more than 15 minutes) and then move on to the next subject. Let her finish it later after other work is done and she's wanting to play or watch a tv program. 

Maybe she's bored. There are other ways to drill concepts. Flash cards. Computer programs. Math games. 

If she's being defiant and not doing it, it's not a school or math problem, it's a respect and discipline problem. Problems like these develop over a long time and need an equal amount of time to "fix". You're not asking for discipline advice so I won't give any. If she's not able to do that much work, give her less, go over it again, or reassess your curriculum.


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## ovsfarm (Jan 14, 2003)

That sounds like a lot to me. Is this work that she understands or material that is difficult for her? If she understands it, then that is way too much repetition. If she is having trouble, then perhaps you need to sit with her to help her over the rough spots. Often with my dd at that age, asking "what do you need to do next?" was enough help to get her going again.

Six is so young. Their attention span is quite short at that age and worksheets of problems are not the most riveting thing in the world. Believe it or not, life will go on and your dd will do perfectly well if you occasionally have to cut her some slack this first year and let her demonstrate her knowledge of the material in nontraditional ways instead of through completed work pages. At that age, trusting you to help her and an enthusiasm for school will serve much better than getting addition facts this week instead of the week after next.


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## BusyBees2 (Dec 10, 2004)

Thanks everyone.

Rose, you have it about right. Math is not a difficult subject for her...just the opposite. We don't _do _ school every day. Maybe 3-4 days a week. I don't put a lot of weight into drilling at the table for hours every day. I know she'll get things when she gets them. 

But these were simple math facts that she will need to practice repeatedly to get down the road...she's done this work before and really just needed to buckle down and do it! Today I think she was just procrastinating and wanting to blow it off...I wasn't feeling the same thing!

Surprisingly, reading...her weaker subject, took a lot less time than the math did today. Go figure! 

And to the other posters, I do know there are other more 'fun' ways to do this sort of work....we do this as well. The day's technique fluctuates depending on everyone's mood, including the 3yo brother's~lol 

Thanks for everyone's input.


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## Sonshine (Jul 27, 2007)

Just a thought, but with Christmas getting so close there are a lot of kids that are easily distracted right now. That's why the month of December we veer from our normal activities and try to find more holiday type things to do.


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## heather (May 13, 2002)

30 problems seems like a lot to me too

If my dd (6) seems to be getting bored with just doing the math worksheet, I either let her use fun things to do her math (ie game pieces, pieces of candy, etc.)

OR I do it orally with her - there are always things in our environment that I can use to do math, other than worksheets

I'm not a vet by any means  but there's no way I'd leave my daughter at the table all day (that's not saying I wouldn't WANT to  )


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## cindyc (Nov 12, 2005)

I actually find that my kids are better at getting school done when it is routine. Comparisons are important. If TODAY we did "school" which includes math worksheets, but YESTERDAY we got to play most of the day, math worksheets have no appeal. But when we do math EVERY day, EVERY week, and it is just what we do, I have no problem with kids not wanting to do it. This is particularly important with my 7 yr. old. Now, I didn't start him 
"schooling" at all until he was 6, because that was when he was ready, so that needs to be said too. I am not saying we never break routine, or that the routine HAS to be FIVE days a week (ours is 4, plus a history co-op on fridays), but the routine, and removing the "this is optional" idea from his mind has removed a lot of complaining and dawdling. I do also play a lot of games, and let him do the worksheets orally sometimes, but I think the discipline of doing something he doesn't want to do or that isn't fun is also a life skill to learn. At seven, sometimes, if you are talking about basic addition and subtraction "facts" practice, my son's math book has him doing 100 problems at a time, but he is in 3rd grade math. Now that is 5 + 7 = 12, no carrying or borrowing ect... Those are on facts practice sheets in addition to another page of math that practices other skills. That is totally reasonable, and really requires almost no thought at all if that is what you mean. 30 problems are not out of line at all. 

ALSO, I would be sitting there with him most of the time. Usually, mine become capable of doing work by themselves by about 4th grade... sometimes 3rd. But before that, even if they are capable, they are not confident and comfortable until then. I just expect to have myself or an older sibling with them while they are working until then. It helps me to be sure the foundations are laid anyway.


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## PromisedLand (Nov 20, 2006)

Could be the time of year. Mine are restless and easily distracted because we don't go outside much in the cold weather. Cabin fever 

Another thought: when my 6yo started doing the same thing I asked my mom for an opinion and she thought he seemed to be forgetting his simple addition, so we went back to drilling that and it's helping.


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## okgoatgal2 (May 28, 2002)

i know that giving a time period to complete and a consequence for not completing works quite often. when my dad repeated 3rd grade, he didn't want to do his math. teacher gave him a certain time to get it done, with the consequence of a swat for each problem he didn't get done, correctly. this was many years ago-more than 50 yrs. he wound up with 23 swats that day, and never again did he neglect to do his work when he should have, even if he didn't want to. not that i'm suggesting that, but a set time period with a consequence, is a good idea.


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## canadiangirl (Jul 25, 2004)

I find my dc are similar to cindyc. If I don't stick to a routine of some sort it becomes harder to get things done. If your child is normally fine with 30 questions on a page and today was an off day that is one thing but if not and this happens a lot, you could try to break it up. I often do this with one of mine, she gets half her math, then on to her spelling or reading then back to math after a little break. If a child is dawdling through something I set a time limit and move on to our other work. Her uncompleted work must be finished at the end of our day...it prevents a case of the stubborns from setting in or a battle of wills which can set a tone for the rest of our work and it also saves my temper.


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