# Great answers to rude questions...



## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

I've always gringed when asked,
"How much land ya got? How Many head of Cows ya got?"...

Uh, well some are are cows, but......well you know....

It's also, I think, a rude question.

Today I heard the answer I've been searching for all these years....

"I've got one head for every four feet"

Yep,,That's the answer!!

What great answers can you share?


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Thank-you for educating me, I really honestly did not know that was a rude question rather thought it being interested in getting to know what the person does in a real way. That is not being said snarky either, I really did not know.


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## Guest (Sep 28, 2012)

Q: how much money do you make?
A: Enough to pay my bills
Q: how much are your bills?
A: What bills?
Q: mortgage payment
A: What mortgage payment?
Q: You're not going to tell me how much money you make, are you?
A: No


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Zong, I would not take how much land you have or how many cows you have and compare it to how much money you make. Two different things in my opinion, BUT that is just my opinion. Like I said I have no idea.


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## Guest (Sep 28, 2012)

?? I ain't got no cows. I thought the question was "What great answers can you share?"
Trolls got everybody shook. You're OK with me. I was just answering the OP.


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## Ceilismom (Jul 16, 2011)

cindilu said:


> Thank-you for educating me, I really honestly did not know that was a rude question rather thought it being interested in getting to know what the person does in a real way. That is not being said snarky either, I really did not know.


Lots of people don't realize that is a rude question. It is a question that I know 90% of the people that I meet, if we talk long enough, will eventually ask. I know a man who takes great offense to that question, yet sees nothing wrong with asking a mother (at a party) how her son's AWOL incident turned out. People are funny.


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## lemon (Jul 9, 2012)

L.A. said:


> I've always gringed when asked,
> "How much land ya got? How Many head of Cows ya got?"...
> 
> Uh, well some are are cows, but......well you know....
> ...


I don't think it rude? is something wrong with me. When someone tells me they have a ranch, I ask how many cattle they have! I share about what we do too and how much land were sitting on. Even if they don't say they own a ranch sometimes I ask if they farm if they are from a more agiculture based area. Not tryin to be rude just friendly. :shrug:


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## Ceilismom (Jul 16, 2011)

Back on topic: 
Q "aren't you concerned about socialization?" in regard to homeschooling

A "well, no, not really. We're not socialists".


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## Pearl B (Sep 27, 2008)

I honestly didnt know that was rude either. I think of it more as showing interest in the person and getting a conversation going.- Asking how much land a person has.


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

The post was really, as Zong said, for clever, cute answers...not rude questions.

As for "How many ya got" being rude.....don't matter anymore....I got the answer.

Just hoping to get some Chuckles:cute: out of the thread..


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## Narshalla (Sep 11, 2008)

(Please note, I'm fat, but not pregnant.)

Q: When are you due?

A: Oh, about six months ago.

Q: So the baby is six months old?

A: No, I was due six months ago, but the baby still isn't here yet.

(Yes, I've had to use this.)


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## Belfrybat (Feb 21, 2003)

Around here land and cattle equal wealth. So asking someone how much land they have or how many head of cattle is the same as asking, how much money do you have? Most people are reluctant to share that kind of information.

As to answers to "rude" questions. "Enough" will usually suffice most situations.


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## Narshalla (Sep 11, 2008)

When I fill my cart stocking up:

Q: You're not really going to eat all of this, are you?

A: Yes. I am. It takes a lot of work to stay this fat!

(Please note, this is only for rude comments. I have many others for those that are not rude.)


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

Star lite star bright

I wish I may,,I wish I might,, have this wish

I wish tonight...

I wish I hadn't used the word Rude........

:ashamed: :sing:


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## CajunSunshine (Apr 24, 2007)

If confronted with an obnoxiously rude question, I may calmly answer with something like "If you'll forgive me for not answering that, I'll forgive you for asking...". 

Lol, it's a waste of time and energy to be too upset by rude people...after all, rudeness is often a small person's weak imitation of power. 

On the other hand, a lot of seemingly rude questions are just a matter of ignorance, as in the heart being in the right place but the mouth ain't. For them, the L.A. or Zongish type response works a treat especially when delivered with a grin.


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## Guest (Sep 28, 2012)

Q:Tell me about this "algorithm" you mentioned
A: OK
Q: so, how does it work?
A: it just does, the algorithm is a set of specific instructions that limit self destructive behavior
Q: What does that mean?
A: exactly what it says
Q: so, how much do you make with it?
A: Depends on which one you use. One is active, one is passive
Q: what does active and passive mean?
A: exactly what they say
Q: Which one is easiest
A: passive
Q: so, how much does that make
A: 3% per week
Q: so, how much money is that?
A: $3 for every hundred
Q:You make $3 a week??
A: 3% is $30 for every thousand
Q: So, you make $30 a week??
A: yes. I make $30 a week
Q: how can you get by on that?
A: I was going to ask could you loan me a couple thousand dollars.


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## CajunSunshine (Apr 24, 2007)

Whoops...cell phone spazzed an spit out a double post here...


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

To the acreage question, I usually sidestep by saying, "Oh, I'm just the caretaker. How long have you lived in the area?" 

Or, "About one one-hundredth as much as my grandparents owned on their place in Montana -- it would have made them laugh! So, now, long have you lived in the area?"

If they persist, I'll answer their question with a question: "Will it change your mind about me if I give one answer or another?"

By then, they usually get the hint.


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## Guest (Sep 28, 2012)

Everybody hates my algorithm jokes. You're looking at thousands of milliseconds of hard work!!


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

zong said:


> Everybody hates my algorithm jokes. You're looking at thousands of milliseconds of hard work!!


No,,not really...,,but are they statistically significant (.05 +)?


:buds:


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

I hate the land one worst, then who do you work for, ~makes me cringe~


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## Jena (Aug 13, 2003)

I wait tables. If another server asks how much I made in tips, I simply lie. I either add or subtract about $100 to the actual amount, depending on my mood and who asks. Not very cute, but it shuts them up and sends them on their way.


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

Fowler said:


> I hate the land one worst, then who do you work for, ~makes me cringe~


How many acres ya got?

Well, my knees are my biggest belly-achers,,

Who do you work for?

WORK!? Don't be cuss'n around here, you just watch your language...get the soap....


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

How much land do you have? 
Not near as much as I'd like to have. 

How many head of cattle you got?
I hope it's the same amount as the tails I've got!

Who do you work for?
Apparently the government, with all the taxes I pay. 
or
I'm supposed to work!?


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## Guest (Sep 28, 2012)

Q:How many tomatoes you get from 72 tomato plants?
A: a lot
Q: what you going to do with them?
A: I dunno. What would you do with them??
Q: Tomato sandwiches I guess. Salsa. Give some away
A: hey, that's a great idea!!


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## Tommyice (Dec 5, 2010)

Fowler said:


> I hate the land one worst, then who do you work for, ~makes me cringe~


I know who you work for. I'd cringe too. LOL


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## Shrek (May 1, 2002)

My standard reply to rude questions is to simply say "That is not the type of question I am inclined to entertain with a reply. Please forget that you asked as I intend to do. Let us change the subject."

If its particularly rude I will accentuate my non reply with a walking distance space separation as I turn my back on the rude party while keeping them in my peripheral field of vision as I move elsewhere.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

How m much hay you got
As much as I can get

How much hay you getting
All I can lay my hands on


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## littlejoe (Jan 17, 2007)

L.A. said:


> "I've got one head for every four feet"
> 
> Yep,,That's the answer!!


Unless you count the two on crutches, and the one double amputee.
Or they ask me how many I counted... All of them, duh! 

How much land do you own.... None, I just rent it from the govmt and pay it in taxes.



Shrek said:


> If its particularly rude I will accentuate my non reply with a walking distance space separation as I turn my back on the rude party while keeping them in my peripheral field of vision as I move elsewhere.


Wish I could swivel my head like that!


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

I wonder why nobody pointed out that.....

Cattle ain't got no feet........


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## boiledfrog (Jun 2, 2011)

Here's another rude question. Why are you embarrassed by how many cows you have?


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## foxfiredidit (Apr 15, 2003)

Because my cows are so poor folks say I don't have cows, just the frames for those I'm trying to build.


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## TenBusyBees (Jun 15, 2011)

I am continually amazed at how complete strangers want to know why we have so many children or if we plan on having more or um, how our children where delivered. :shocked: 

I've replied with...
blank stares
Does it matter? You're not paying the bill.
I love my husband.
I don't know how this keeps happening. Could you explain it to me?


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## Prismseed (Sep 14, 2009)

If you talk about street racing people will ask what car you drive.

If you talk about football people will ask who is your team.

If you talk about farming people will ask how much land you're working.

If you talk about cattle people will ask how large your herd is.

The only thing wrong with the questions are if you have shame of your answer.

Granted there are some exceptions the "Oh you're raising 10 cattle? I miss those days I've got 500 spread out betweeen...." and that isn't so much a rude question as someone with ego or other 'traits'.


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## Prismseed (Sep 14, 2009)

We're homesteaders not Monsanto. It isn't about how much we have, but how much effort and management we put into what we do have.


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## BetsyK in Mich (May 14, 2002)

When asked how many acres I have I say "enough to keep me poor" or "almost a quarter of a section". That usually gets me a puzzled stare since not many folks who would ask know what a section is. The first answer usually sidetracks the money question.


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## Evons hubby (Oct 3, 2005)

How many acres do you own?

which farm?

How many cattle do you own?

all of them. 

How much money do you make?

None... I get mine the old fashioned way.... I earn it. 

or... I really dunno... I cant afford to stop working long enough to count it. 

How many kids do you have?

None... I am too busy raising kids other people cant be bothered with. 

One of my all time favorites..... 

How much milk does that goat give you a day?

None..... she produces about a gallon a day... but she gives nothing away, I have to squeeze every drop from her! 

Another oft used old standard...

Who do you work for?

I had a job once... didnt care for it... some guy was always coming around waking me up wanting me to do stuff.


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## Vickie44 (Jul 27, 2010)

If a stranger asked questions like this I might put them off but I certainly cant see why you would nt want to speak of these things with some one you are getting to know, especially if they shared something first ie I work at blah blah blah , How do you make a living ?


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Vickie44 said:


> If a stranger asked questions like this I might put them off but I certainly cant see why you would nt want to speak of these things with some one you are getting to know, especially if they shared something first ie I work at blah blah blah , How do you make a living ?


If I told you where I work, I'd have to shanked you and I really like you vickie....LOL


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## Ceilismom (Jul 16, 2011)

How much land do you have = How much money do you have in the bank/what's your net worth. Because chances are, a landowner's assets are tied up in that land

How many head of cattle do you have = How much money do you make. Because chances are, that's where the person's income comes from.

Now, chances are, the person who gets asked these questions isn't going to get offended, because they know people don't realize that they're asking about finances.

In the interests of allowing the OP's thread return to its original purpose:

Q "birth control didn't work?"

A "actually, we _wanted_ our kids"


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## sherry in Maine (Nov 22, 2007)

So, what's wrong with your daughter?
(my kid has multiple special needs)

answer-'nothing- what's wrong with you?'

(or, the other answer, is to walk away silently)

'what a burden she must be for you!'
(remain silent . . .visualize stuffing other person's head in toilet, flushing repeatedly)


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## sidepasser (May 10, 2002)

The best answer I have ever come up with to any rude question is:

"Why do you want to know?"

After they get over the initial shock of my reply, they usually change the subject because they do not want to admit they are: nosy, planning to rob me, embarrassing themselves, rude, etc.

Another good response is "Are you always this rude or are you making a special effort for me?"

Those 2 questions will shut up 99% of the people who ask rude or embarrassing questions.


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## Guest (Sep 28, 2012)

sherry in Maine said:


> So, what's wrong with your daughter?
> (my kid has multiple special needs)
> 
> answer-'nothing- what's wrong with you?'
> ...


My first wife left me with 4 small children to raise, ages 2 through 7. I always made them walk in single file when we went in stores, with the youngest closest to me, and the oldest in back, so nobody could wander off(except the oldest, but she was really good and a tremendous help) People would invariably ask "where's their mother?" And I would look at them and say, "I killed her" One day, somebody asked that, and the littlest one piped up "He killed our mama!!"


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## sidepasser (May 10, 2002)

zong said:


> My first wife left me with 4 small children to raise, ages 2 through 7. I always made them walk in single file when we went in stores, with the youngest closest to me, and the oldest in back, so nobody could wander off(except the oldest, but she was really good and a tremendous help) People would invariably ask "where's their mother?" And I would look at them and say, "I killed her" One day, somebody asked that, and the littlest one piped up "He killed our mama!!"



Oh my, it's a wonder you weren't arrested...lol..


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## anniew (Dec 12, 2002)

similar to sidepassers answer: Now, why would you ask a question like that?


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

When the conversation happens on to my dd, who is handicapped, I invariably get the reply of I'm sorry(or I'm so sorry) to which I reply, "Why, it wasn't your fault" or "There's no reason to be sorry".

And the reply to the statement of "It must be really hard to deal with"-"No, I know she's never going to steal, lie or kill someone and you don't know what you're going to get with the so-called normal ones".

zong, you're a hoot!


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## oregon woodsmok (Dec 19, 2010)

This is farm country and when you talk to the other farmers you talk about crops. So no, it is not rude to ask how the crops are doing or how many acres or head, or how their grass is holding up.

If it is someone I don't know, they aren't going to know I have land in the first place, so there is no reason for them to ask how much land I have.


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

I get the acreage question a lot from tradespeople. They're here and can see there is a lot of property around me, so I suppose it is natural to wonder. Still, I can't think why it's any of their business. I don't know these people and it's unlikely we're going to become lifelong pals. I agree, in discussions with people I'm getting to know better and/or neighbors, the question doesn't bother me.


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## Ardie/WI (May 10, 2002)

sidepasser said:


> The best answer I have ever come up with to any rude question is:
> 
> "Why do you want to know?"
> 
> ...


That is very similar to what I say to people in public who are rude to me mainly because they think that because I'm in a electric scooter I'm a good target. You've probably read this before:

I say in a very loud voice, "Are you rude to everyone or just cripples?". People around us stare and the rude person leaves skid marks getting away from me.

Another one: A woman told me it was so nice that I found a man who'd marry me under the circomstances . I told Ms. Rude that he is my third husband. (I know I misspelled that word!).


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## HOTW (Jul 3, 2007)

zong said:


> My first wife left me with 4 small children to raise, ages 2 through 7. I always made them walk in single file when we went in stores, with the youngest closest to me, and the oldest in back, so nobody could wander off(except the oldest, but she was really good and a tremendous help) People would invariably ask "where's their mother?" And I would look at them and say, "I killed her" One day, somebody asked that, and the littlest one piped up "He killed our mama!!"


You should tell the peole who ask"Well I went to bed one night took off my clothes, gave my junk a shake and asked my wife"Well how about some lovin'? "That was the last I ever saw of her"....I am amazed at how people just don't think before they ask any questions...but their faces would be pricelesss I'm sure


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## Prismseed (Sep 14, 2009)

sherry in Maine said:


> So, what's wrong with your daughter?
> (my kid has multiple special needs)
> 
> answer-'nothing- what's wrong with you?'
> ...


Some people don't know how or don't bother to use the english language tastefully.

What I would say (and please correct me if this is wrong)

Your daughter is a special needs child? (as an ice breaker and show interest to hear more) Mention that I once worked with some special needs programs

It takes a strong and good hearted person to care for a special needs child. (in a complimentary fashion that suggests an open ear)


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## sherry in Maine (Nov 22, 2007)

Prismseed, you wouldn't have to ask, if you were ever near us in a store, park, where ever . . .

I dont discuss my kid or her issues with strangers. (unless I have determined it is a mom with a special kid who has a particular/similar issue she might want to ask about, or needs information, etc)

DD has excellent hearing and comprehension. . .

She sizes folks up pretty well, and ignores (or I hope) doesn't hear other's remarks.
It's not that often, really.

People who do confront me with a question, are ones that dont know and dont have a reason to know. (people who have kids with these issues dont ask the same questions)


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## ceresone (Oct 7, 2005)

What size Pants do you wear? 0-may go to a 1
What do you weigh?
both these questions were asked me--as well as the money one. I told her some questions it was just rude to ask--he answer? Oh, it dont bother me a bit...


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## Shygal (May 26, 2003)

Ceilismom said:


> How much land do you have = How much money do you have in the bank/what's your net worth. Because chances are, a landowner's assets are tied up in that land
> 
> How many head of cattle do you have = How much money do you make. Because chances are, that's where the person's income comes from.


Ok if you told me you had 50,000 acres, or 1000 cattle , or ANY number of cattle or acres, I wouldn't have the slightest idea how to convert that into any reasonably even in the ballpark number of your net worth or money :shrug:

I would just ask because its interesting to hear what other people do.


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## azuresky (Feb 26, 2012)

When my three older children were small, I also had foster children, so I had 5 children 3 and under. I never wanted the foster children to feel out of place in our family, but it was common to have people ask, "Are these all yours?" (usually with a disgusted look). I would answer, "No, I just stop along the freeway and pick them up". That always got strange looks. Could never say that now, though. People would take it the wrong way.


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## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

I generally tend to be rude back or if they are really rude especially with the intent to be demeaning...I'll just not dignify it with an answer.

I did have this one happen:

Haven't seen you in a long time, WhyNot, I see you are expecting again.
DOH!
My answer: Naw, I'm not expecting I just got fat in the last five years, just like you did.

Actually more than rude questions I get annoyed at obvious questions.

Q: So...laundry day, huh?
A: Yes, Sherlock, that's why I'm at the LAUNDROMAT!

Then the other ones I get annoyed at are ones that, regarding the person asking, I know that if I answer the real answer it's just going to bore or confuse them and it wastes both of our time. For instance....if someone who I already kNOW nows really nothing about the compuer industry, I find it really difficult to come up with a simple but also correct answer to questions like:

So. What exactly does a Network Field Engineer do?
So. What exactly does a Lead Deployment Tech do?
How do hard drives work?

So I have to answer with stuff like.

Uhm. Goes out in the field and does stuff to networks.
Uhm. Leads a team of technicians on a device deployment.
Uhm. Fairy dust and pixie grease.

I mean...they aren't rude and most people are really curious...but most aren't really wanting the entire job description anyway....so I just let it be simple...and it always let's them down because it is supposed to be mysterious and intelligent sounding.

One thing I find very rude is not so much the question of, "what do you do for a living"...but what can happen after you answer...such as:

What do you do for a living?
I work in IS Systems.
Oh. You're into computers, yeah my brother's son fixes all of ours. He's ten.

Sometimes I just let it go and put them on ignore...but sometimes I come out with...

Well, we could probably use his help then on this blade virtualization system we are setting up, we can't seem to get lynx working with our legacy systems in other departments but it only started when the mezzanine boards were installed, have him stop by after lunch. Then under my breath.... asshat.

I am actually curious how much that happens in other fields. It has always happened to me in the IT field...people basically treating you like you really don't know anything whether they know anything or not. As if ALL IT is is just replacing mice and washing monitors or something.

Not that I expect people to be all wowed about it..it's just a curious thing how people get defensive around IT people.

Course maybe it happens a lot in all fields...back when my only job was being a waitress....I was constantly reminded that I was "just" a waitress.


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## frogmammy (Dec 8, 2004)

WhyNot said:


> ...it's just a curious thing how people get defensive around IT people...


So, maybe it's just the human equivalent of the canines "offering of the belly"? 

They want to indicate they know "something", and have some validity, but want to be able to ask you questions to solve their potential problems. They attempt to put themselves on your plane, or you on theirs. Unfortunately, although they my know some of the buzzwords, they won't have a usable grasp of the information you give them. Probably won't understand most of the words, either. HOWEVER, since they now consider themselves friends, they'll be back to ask again.

Mon


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## fantasymaker (Aug 28, 2005)

LOl Im always amazed anyone cares.
How much land do i have? well its public INFO so why try to hide?


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## JohnnyLee (Feb 13, 2011)

[youtube]H85APaXrJ_Q[/youtube]


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## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

frogmammy said:


> So, maybe it's just the human equivalent of the canines "offering of the belly"?
> 
> They want to indicate they know "something", and have some validity, but want to be able to ask you questions to solve their potential problems. They attempt to put themselves on your plane, or you on theirs. Unfortunately, although they my know some of the buzzwords, they won't have a usable grasp of the information you give them. Probably won't understand most of the words, either. HOWEVER, since they now consider themselves friends, they'll be back to ask again.
> 
> Mon


I guess if the person was actually trying to converse in something they didn't really know about that may be it....but the one I can't figure out is...they simply insult you by insinuating that anyone can do your job. Much like a lot of people insinuate that waitressing is something anyone can do.

A lot of people can do a lot of things but not all of them are good at it.

I dunno I don't get it...I don't go around insinuating that a person doesn't know their job...whether I know anything about their job or not.


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## whiterock (Mar 26, 2003)

Depends on the person asking. Sometimes I tell them, sometimes I look at them until they realize I am not goin to answer.
I have asked why they want to know my personal business
I have said that that comes under the heading of my business

Have said enough, not as much as I used to, more than some people, 

If someone doesn't need to know for some purpose acceptable to me, then I see no need to tell them.
ED


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## frogmammy (Dec 8, 2004)

WhyNot, it could just very easily be that they only see the forest, while you see the trees.

Anyone who has been a (successful) waitress for any time KNOWS that waitressing is MUCH easier said than done!

Mon


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## fantasymaker (Aug 28, 2005)

LOL IVE NEVER BEEN A WAITRESS..... but it looks like a Horriable job Id neverr want to do.
I just dont understand why it doesnt pay better?


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## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

fantasymaker said:


> LOL IVE NEVER BEEN A WAITRESS..... but it looks like a Horriable job Id neverr want to do.
> I just dont understand why it doesnt pay better?


I guess it depends on how you look at things and what your aspirations are. At some places you can work 4 hour shifts and net 200 in tips.

I contracted with a corporation as head server once...it was a special event...four weeks, I netted 6000.00. Not shabby for just a waitress.

But again...depends on what your aspirations are. Most servers I reckon get between 30 and 50 a shift in tips depending on what style of place you are at.....but there are server jobs out there that make in excess of 40 k a year.


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## ldc (Oct 11, 2006)

Around here, in a small provincial capitol city (don't shoot folks!), men used to ask me how big my pension would be one day. Guys I met thru work, usually happily married. I was a lowly instructor. My only zinger was to ask them if they'd like to double it...


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## fantasymaker (Aug 28, 2005)

WhyNot said:


> I guess it depends on how you look at things and what your aspirations are. At some places you can work 4 hour shifts and net 200 in tips.
> 
> I contracted with a corporation as head server once...it was a special event...four weeks, I netted 6000.00. Not shabby for just a waitress.
> 
> But again...depends on what your aspirations are. Most servers I reckon get between 30 and 50 a shift in tips depending on what style of place you are at.....but there are server jobs out there that make in excess of 40 k a year.


LOL Ok that sounds like a pretty good job....so why all the complaining the tips are not enough?


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