# Picture on Dating Sites



## MoonRiver (Sep 2, 2007)

I was looking at POF yesterday thinking about throwing my line back in. Some women had as their main picture, a picture which included 1 or more of their children or grandchildren, and several included their dog in the picture.

These were women over 55, not in their 20's or 30's. I immediately skipped over them. I saw it as insecurity. Did they think some guy was going to think "What a cute kid. I think I will contact this woman."?

My question is, why would a man or woman in their senior years do this?


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

HA on somma them on FO, I saw only horses or cows, kittens or dogs, a motorcycle or 2, a pic with several women in it of several decades apart in age. Some of them with their family making her pic SMALL. U gotta know theyre trying to hide something. YEAH, I know somma the wimmins in here will say that that's the only pic they got. Well, I say that im plumb stupid when it comes to taking pics and putting them on here, and if I can do it ANYONE can.


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## ChocolateMouse (Jul 31, 2013)

Maybe it's because they think their children and pets are important? I love my dogs and if some guy thinks he's going to win me over without my dogs in the picture, he can mosey right along. I love them more than I need a man in my life. Similarly, many moms might think that including their kids in the picture makes something clear "I am a single mom. I have kids and I love them. They will always come first.". I think that's plenty reasonable.

For no actual pictures of themselves, maybe they don't want to be judged based solely on their appearance. Given that most women on dating sites are like throwing a chunk of meat into a shark tank, I can't blame them for not wanting a picture of them as their main profile picture. I have been on some dating sites and put deliberately shoddy pictures of myself as my main image. The number of men who still don't even take the time to read my profile long enough to know what I do for a living astounds me. The number of inappropriate messages and objectifying comments that come in from men and boys of ALL ages is exhausting on occasion. If you aint got the guts to ask for a nice photo, why would i wanna be with you anyhow? Talk about insecurities!

Or you could all stand in a circle and go "Hahaha! Wimmins! So insecure! So deceitful! They just hiding something. I don't wanna see their dumb kids!". I'm sure the ladies will looove that.  What a catch you boys must be.


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## MoonRiver (Sep 2, 2007)

ChocolateMouse said:


> ...if some guy thinks he's going to win me over without my dogs in the picture, he can mosey right along. I love them more than I need a man in my life.


And that's exactly why I skip over them.

It just seems manipulative to me. If a woman (or a man) has a family, I would expect that they probably still associate with them. I don't need to see a picture of them while looking at profiles.

If as a senior citizen, they are so wrapped up in their family, why would they want to start a new relationship? 

I don't get it which is why I asked, but there are probably guys out there that see it as a positive.


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## ChocolateMouse (Jul 31, 2013)

Ok. That's good! Those women don't need your kind of negativity in their life! XD Aint nobody I know that'd regret you skipping them for that. Seems to me like they're actually VERY secure with themselves and know exactly what they want, a man who loves dogs.


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## Shrek (May 1, 2002)

Fifteen to twenty years ago and I was new ly back into the dating scene, if I viewed online dating sites, I never really looked at the personal pictures or statistics. Instead after entering my physical search radius, I would look at the background of the posted pictures to see if I recognized the location and evaluated the background crowd at the location that the posted picture was taken.

If I found the background crowd appealing to my tastes and could identify the watering hole location I would then plan to visit the venue and get the feel of the crowd and socialize in it if I found it a comfortable watering hole environment in the real life sector where real life interactions and spontaneous dates begin.

Did I meet the folks in the foreground of the pictures I viewed? I never knew but in any social venue I visited based on a picture background I saw on a online dating site, I always met some women to date or made friends with some guys in the hangout venue who had wives ,girlfriends or sisters who after their guys accepted me into their fishing, deer hunting or other non watering hole activities who were more than happy to date me or set me up on decent blind dates.

Best part was that 30 minutes of internet viewing followed by a 30 minute or so drive the following weekend, I got to enjoy real life socialization and dates and was able to leave my computer unplugged for the weekend.

Internet dating does not exist. Only real life dating exists. All internet dating or singles looking for a date sites offer is a form of initial research before we decide where in the real world we want to go to see what groups populate which social water holes where we might start real life socializing with new friends and maybe find what we seek in real life.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

(Givin that most women are like throwing meat in a shark tank). I suppose that don't work the other way around huh????????????????????????????????????????


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## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

Boy I never thought having a pic with family in it was a bad thing


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

I was alway taught in advertising you show the best of what your selling. 
I suspect all those pictures with kids are very effective at finding pedophiles.


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

ChocolateMouse said:


> Maybe it's because they think their children and pets are important? I love my dogs and if some guy thinks he's going to win me over without my dogs in the picture, he can mosey right along. I love them more than I need a man in my life. Similarly, many moms might think that including their kids in the picture makes something clear "I am a single mom. I have kids and I love them. They will always come first.". I think that's plenty reasonable.


 I expect children and family to come first so I don't need a picture of it. 
But animals ? I'm sorry animals are well animals ,livestock ,things you buy and sell. But particularly if somebody lives on a farm and has emotional attachments to animals I don't need that kind of crazy in my life. 
I spent a good portion of my senior year waiting on a girlfriend to do this and that and some other stupid stuff with a horse. 
I vowed then never to date another girl where the horse came before the people. 
So any picture that shows me some woman is in love with some animal is an immediate turn off. 
However for those of you that are into that sort of thing there are specific websites just for that so they don't need to post on POF


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## ChocolateMouse (Jul 31, 2013)

Farmboy, with charmers like you, how could it be anything BUT. I'm sure you'll get lotsa ladies looking for hot steamy meaningless encounters. Why don't you put yourself out there? It'll go great.  It's not like society EVER has double standards about ANYTHING, ever.

AmericanStand, thinking that it's going to attract pedophiles is absolute nonsense. That's like saying if you post a picture of yourself eating pizzas you'll only attract frat boys. Kids are universal. And my GOD are you really implying bestiality? *** is wrong with you? Like, actually?

Note to self; ALWAYS post pictures of family, friends, kids and pets instead of myself. It keeps creepy guys like ya'll who can't stop thinking about other people being involved in pedophilia and bestiality away. Yikes!


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## DKWunlimited (Sep 11, 2006)

I have to say I am reading these posts and laughing my butt off! When I surfed through the pictures on dating sites, my thought was why are all these men posting pictures of thier Harleys and sports cars? Mid-life crisis anyone?


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Harleys mean they've got a bit of a wild streak. Sports cars try to indicate that there above the wild streak of motorcycles, BUT YET, still have a tiny bit of that inside of them. Not to mention that it might mean to a woman that they have money.


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## MoonRiver (Sep 2, 2007)

DKWunlimited said:


> I have to say I am reading these posts and laughing my butt off! When I surfed through the pictures on dating sites, my thought was why are all these men posting pictures of thier Harleys and sports cars? Mid-life crisis anyone?


That was kind of my point in op.

It seems to me a better strategy for both men and women is to make the main picture just the person. Sites usually allow multiple pictures, so then add a picture with a grandchild, dog, motorcycle, tractor, etc to help describe who you are and what is important to you.

I just thought it was a bad move to do that in the main picture.


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## chaossmurf (Jan 6, 2017)

FarmboyBill said:


> (Givin that most women are like throwing meat in a shark tank). I suppose that don't work the other way around huh????????????????????????????????????????





AmericanStand said:


> I was alway taught in advertising you show the best of what your selling.
> I suspect all those pictures with kids are very effective at finding pedophiles.





DKWunlimited said:


> I have to say I am reading these posts and laughing my butt off! When I surfed through the pictures on dating sites, my thought was why are all these men posting pictures of thier Harleys and sports cars? Mid-life crisis anyone?


 NO FARMBOYBILL NO !!!! ---them women would tear that poor shark to bits  if ya threw a single shark into a group of single women  hehehee

americanstand ----lmfao --that's what I think every time I see women with pics of their daughters underdressed on the mommas singles profile --I always wonder which their trying to geta date for lmao ---now a pic with ya kids is cool ---but don't ya think ya should screen the guy before showing him your daughters ??? or sons for that matter in todays weird world of sickos

DWK --- yeah I always laugh at friends when they get expensive toys later in life & just tell them ---you know if you stopped buying them childish toys ---the children could actually afford them ---but why price fast cars so fast kids can get them when rich fools buy them and drive them under the speedlimit & SLOWLY SLOWLY get up to that speed even --if you want to act like a great great grandfather get yaself a nice comfy ride & leave the sporty stuff to sportsters


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## Shrek (May 1, 2002)

DKWunlimited said:


> I have to say I am reading these posts and laughing my butt off! When I surfed through the pictures on dating sites, my thought was why are all these men posting pictures of thier Harleys and sports cars? Mid-life crisis anyone?


Not real sure about old dudes with Harleys but I know why we often see old grey beard dudes with classic Camaros, T-birds, Corvettes ,BMWs or other sports cars.

Yes some may buy them as midlife crisis toys or that is the perception many have of them but many old dudes tend to have to wait until they are in their 50s or 60s to be able to afford those sports cars and the insurance coverage.

I know of 5 or 6 grey beards who after raising their kids and paying off their homes still held onto their teen desire to own the high dollar two seat sports cars of their youth and having the disposable income to buy one off the show room floor in their silver years instead of thinking of putting a junk carcass together as they did in their teens before realizing that even if they could have built their teenage junk carcass sports car, they still couldn't afford the high premium insurance where just liability was as much as full collision for an older driver. The grey birds I knew with the exception of one who tried to use his Stingray as young doe bait , bought them to just take to car shows or ride around with their granny aged wife by their side on weekends.

Even the grey beard who was chasing younger women gave it up after a year or so and just started going to car shows.

Another of the grey beards now lets his grand kids drive his current generation Corvette more than he and his wife do because after he and his wife returned from a cruise his insurance agent notified him that his insurance was being increased to the car being driven by a teen driver because while they were gone for their two week cruise, the agent saw both his 33 year old daughter and her 17 year old daughter driving his Corvette with the personalized plate while he was out of town.

He said since his insurance had almost doubled, he and his wife figured they might as well let the kids enjoy it a bit before the car was sold and he and his wife went back to driving only SUVs.

GF ensured that I would never be a grey beard with a red Corvette when I was 19 and we were in my pick up with high performance engine hidden under the hood.

An old dude in a 1970 Corvette pulled up beside us and she looked over his car and as he grin flirted with her, she yelled at him "Nice car. Sorry about the problem your having with your dating equipment."

As the light changed and I got us out of there, I told her I had it figured out how to get my Z28 by the time I was about 25 but when I got it I would have it sold by the time I was 35 and would never own a sports car/ hot rod after that because of her "Nice car" remark.

Now that I am in grey beard stage myself the closest thing to a hot rod I have had was a race lightened Tahoe SUV with a built V8 and dual gear rear end and that is as close as I put myself back to the hot rods of my youth as I got older and even after playing with that at the drag strip for a couple years, I sold it for a $300 profit over what I had invested in it after having a good race season at our country drag strip.


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## woodenfires (Dec 2, 2003)

I also believe it's a bit trusting, or something, to post pics of your kids, most sites have a disclaimer telling you not to for the obvious reasons. I also never liked seeing pics of other people in a profile, always wonder if they have their permission to post them, probably some do and some do not. Once you actually get to know someone then sharing other people in your life is fine, least that's my view of it but your mileage may vary. Most profiles I use to look at, and it has been years since I have done that, had good descriptions of their likes and dislikes, if they are a smoker or not, many things that told me if I would like talking to the person. Of course their picture was always nice to see but at first I do not want to see the entire cast of characters they hang out with. Nothing to get upset over, people are all different and what is normal to one may be a bit odd to another and may not have the desired effect they were shooting for. If someone posted a picture of me on a dating site without asking me I would be very upset with them, then again anyone that knows me would know better. So, for me a picture of whom the profile is about is all that I think should be there, other pictures later though e-mail but right at the first it's a big turn off for me to see other people. I see it differently than a lot of people, to me it's a form of disrespect for your friends to be "selling" yourself and them also.
I also dislike profiles where women think they have to explain all the bad mail they get, pics of naked men or whatever, stay focused on what you want and not on what you do not want, huge turn off and often comes across as angry and bitter, I never replied to those ones and there were lots. People tell so much about themselves if we only pay attention. As for animals, I have no issue with that.


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

ChocolateMouse said:


> AmericanStand, thinking that it's going to attract pedophiles is absolute nonsense. That's like saying if you post a picture of yourself eating pizzas you'll only attract frat boys. Kids are universal. And my GOD are you really implying bestiality? *** is wrong with you? Like, actually?
> !


 I suspect if you post a picture of yourself eating pizza you are more likly to meet people who like pizza. 
As for the bestiality thing think about what's been implied before, that certain women would rather have the companionship of their pet to having a man in their lives. Obviously a man comes second and how many purposes can he have ?


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## Shrek (May 1, 2002)

A short history lesson of why women need men and why man invented the wheel.

Prehistoric man figured out fast how to use two rocks to make fire. Unfortunately prehistoric woman just couldn't work the fire rocks as well and didn't like sitting in a cold damp cave hoping Nature would make her fire with a lightening strike or waiting for her caveman to show up to make the fire rocks work.

So prehistoric woman devised a plan to keep prehistoric man close to the cave between hunting trips to ensure her fire supply.

Her plan worked well for a few months but soon prehistoric man came up with a wheel so he could start his woman's fire to keep her happy and ride his wheel like a unicycle to quickly meet up with other cavemen a safe distance from all their cavewonen for a few hours in the caveman's night out cave as they took turns guarding their wheels and cave with a club from any cavewoman whose fire had went out and had followed her caveman's wheel tracks to take him and his fire rocks back to start the fire again.

Millions of years later, women still want men to provide food, housing and heat and men still want wheels, night clubs or man caves to get away to so they can hang out with the guys for a bit before heading back to their women.


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## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

I think people complicate things too much


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

absolutly


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## ChocolateMouse (Jul 31, 2013)

"As for the bestiality thing think about what's been implied before, that certain women would rather have the companionship of their pet to having a man in their lives. Obviously a man comes second and how many purposes can he have ?"

Apparently just one.
And if you have enough money for a good vibrator, maybe not even that! XD


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Yeah, I found that I had 2 good purposes. One getting outa bed and going to work for 45yrs. The other you mentioned.


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## Clem (Apr 12, 2016)

AmericanStand said:


> I suspect if you post a picture of yourself eating pizza you are more likly to meet people who like pizza.
> As for the bestiality thing think about what's been implied before, that certain women would rather have the companionship of their pet to having a man in their lives. Obviously a man comes second and how many purposes can he have ?



Man, I thought I was crude and vulgar! I have a dog I'd much rather spend time with that most people. She never lies to me, she don't think she's better than me, and she's not stupid enough to mistake companionship for bestiality. 

I'd rather spend time with a rat-eating snake than spend time with a jackass. 

I think I see see why women on dating sites are real suspicious of men. It seems that many of us don't improve with age.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Gotta disagree with ya Clem. THO when some women on this post use venom in their posts, ya gotta expect that some men would try to defend themselves from it.


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## Clem (Apr 12, 2016)

There is a world of difference between defending yourself, and making specious accusations that women are trotting their children out to attract pedophiles, and posting pictures of their animals to advertise bestiality.

Don't you think so? When you're in need of self defense, do you immediately make accusations about people and their sexual preferences? I've never noticed you doing that. Maybe some people with limitations feel that is the proper sort of response, I dunno. Let's see, one or two women call you a jerk. The proper response would be:
1. Act like a grown-up and get over it
2. Engage in an argument that you know is going to make you look even worse
3. Say what you mean to say, and move on with your life
4. Imply that women who post pictures of themselves with their children are looking for pedophiles to molest their children, and women who post pictures of themselves with their animals are bestialist. Incidentally, while leaving the back door open to come back and say "I didn't say all women, I only implied it"


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

Hold the boat friend !
I didn't mean to imply that the women that post the pictures of their kids and horses were doing that to attract perverts and advertise for bestiality. 
It's rather they are not thinking their actions through and the law of in intended consequences takes over.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Yup, that's how I saw it also. Its sad that in this day and age, we have to so much more think out our actions. What once was a cute photo in paper that was shown to a select few, nowadays, a online photo gets shown to EVERYBODY who choses to look at it, and if the sender knew the thoughts of some of the viewers, it would likely scare them to death.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

nother thang. We older timers here have, usually, a feel for what another old timer is thinking, SO IF we read something that just don't sound right from the viewer who sent it, we usually reread it again to try to get into the head of the sender, to see what they sent from what we know about them.
NOW
New posters, that's a much harder thing. We have no history of the views from their few posts, so, at least I try to just go with the flow, and try to get a pick up on the mind of the poster before drawing any conclusions as to what they really mean when they type a post. Saves some embarisment sometimes.


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## COSunflower (Dec 4, 2006)

I am SOOOO glad that I don't do online dating!!!! I have 3 dogs, 3 cats, a tortoise that weighs 15 lbs and a WHOLE bunch of family and grandkids that I am sure not going to give up just to have a date!!! Luckily, my Mr. Wonderful is my neighbor. We enjoy having our own places, we both have our families, I have pets, he does not (but likes animals basically), we accept each other for who we ARE - not who we think they should be! Neither one of us plans on getting married again - we've both been burned badly and are far enough up in years to like our singledom.


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## ChocolateMouse (Jul 31, 2013)

"I'd rather spend time with a rat-eating snake than spend time with a jackass. "

I rather like snakes (kept snakes for several years, about 17-22), AND asses. I find them to be good company. Met a nice ass down in MO last year. Soft ears, good temper, kept the coyotes away from some goats. I gave that donkey some good scratches and it followed me around like a dog for the rest of my trip! You really oughn't insult such nice and useful animals with comparisons to poorly mannered men-folks.

Let's see. Seems like these boys are lookin for;
A lady who doesn't have any priorities above their man, even if it came before him (family pets, etc.)
A lady who doesn't want to show off their kids and pets for whatever reason
("If as a senior citizen, they are so wrapped up in their family, why would they want to start a new relationship? ")
("I vowed then never to date another girl where the horse came before the people. ")
A lady who is desperate to advertise themselves to men ("Did they think some guy was going to think "What a cute kid. I think I will contact this woman."?")
A lady who doesn't mind their man being insecure/lacking trust ("U gotta know theyre trying to hide something.")
Someone who is shallow ("Not to mention that it might mean to a woman that they have money.")
Someone who is OK with a boy who still plays with toys instead of being responsible ("Harleys mean they've got a bit of a wild streak. Sports cars try to indicate that there above the wild streak of motorcycles")
AND someone a lady who will think through THEIR actions and how they are perceived... ("It's rather they are not thinking their actions through and the law of in intended consequences takes over.")
BUT ALSO is OK with implications of them being pedophiles and into bestiality just being a misunderstanding and of course she better forgive him for not thinking his own dang actions and how they are perceived!

It almost sounds like you don't want a lady who is secure in herself at all. Sounds like ya'll want the most basic, spineless, insecure waif in the whole world. Shall she also get into the kitchen where she belongs and make you a sandwich?

What can I say? Maybe there's a reasons some folks are single, especially into their senior years. 

Good luck, gents.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

U remind me of Brer Rabbit and the ********. Touch with a comment and your stuck/smeared. I got free, so, im down the road.


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## ChocolateMouse (Jul 31, 2013)

Wait. Did you just come back into the thread to act superior about how you're free of the thread you came back into? Really?


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## CajunSunshine (Apr 24, 2007)

I'm willing to bet that the "free" FBB was referring to is that he is out of the dating loop, and has been down that road for a long, long time.

(aaackkk! That means I know how to speak FBB...lol)

.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Well your wong Cajun, IN THIS INSTANCE, but right in the overall sceme of things lol


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

Lol CM I think you took a stroll across the pasture and have declared the farm a giant pile of something that you found on your shoe.


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## Alice Kramden (Mar 26, 2008)

My thoughts, for what they are worth on OLD (online dating) pics. 

Those who pose with their kids, grandkids, are simply proud of their kids and figure everyone else will be, also. They do not think of the world of pedophiles and danger and putting the kids pics up. They may also be trying to say they are family oriented and not wild, off the wall, or weird, that they have had a pretty normal life that has produced acknowledged offspring. 

Then, realize the pics they have of themselves with the kids might be the only ones they have handy at the moment, and see nothing wrong with posting them. Some who are more aware of what is out there in the world, can and have pixelated the faces of their kids for their protection. 

Pets. Sort of the same thing. They are proud of their dog or cat companion, love them dearly, and see nothing wrong with showing them off. They are saying, in a way, I love animals and hope you who are interested enough to read my profile, will love animals, too, and understand where I am coming from. 

Unless a pic is one that is undeniably X rated, and there are plenty of them posted up by men and women both, (I wish I'd never had to see some of the things I've stumbled across on OLD, yeesh!), I'd take seeing pics of kids and pets as okay. It tells me that I am not for someone who has young kids (my preference is no kids at home), and if they have dogs and/or cats, what kind and how we might get along. 

Remember, when taking pics, most folks are oblivious to how the final result can appear to others. Study the background of some, it tells you a lot about their home and them. Selfies in a dirty bathroom. Yeesh. Selfies in the bedroom. Yeesh again, with borderline suggestiveness. 

I agree that kids pics do not belong on an adult dating site, but people don't think about it. They just want to put up a pic and fail to think it through.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

I had thought when I was doing FO, that when women put up pics with their kids that they were so close to them that they wouldn't want to leave them to come to where I am. I can understand that as, even without any pics of my kids, I know I wouldn't leave them to go somewhere else.
Course, also in my thinking, was my has been experience with women.


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## Alice Kramden (Mar 26, 2008)

Bill, that is a valid line of thought and expectation. 

I, of course, do not have ANY of the life experiences the rest of you on the board possess. I try to see the good side of everything and it clouds my judgement at times.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

U try to see the good side of everything. O are you a rare bird here LOL


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## DKWunlimited (Sep 11, 2006)

Hmm, so this got me thinking. My best picture of myself also includes my 2 sons both 6'5" and weight lifters. So with all your expert reading of pictures implying BS, what would that say about me?


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## DKWunlimited (Sep 11, 2006)

Alice Kramden said:


> Bill, that is a valid line of thought and expectation.
> 
> I, of course, do not have ANY of the life experiences the rest of you on the board possess. I try to see the good side of everything and it clouds my judgement at times.


My grandma always said "Honest people trust" I took that to mean that good well intentioned people tend to see others in the same light. I try to be the same way.


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

DKWunlimited said:


> Hmm, so this got me thinking. My best picture of myself also includes my 2 sons both 6'5" and weight lifters. So with all your expert reading of pictures implying BS, what would that say about me?


That you are well protected ?


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Don't mess with mom?


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## Nsoitgoes (Jan 31, 2016)

AmericanStand said:


> I expect children and family to come first so I don't need a picture of it.
> But animals ? I'm sorry animals are well animals ,livestock ,things you buy and sell. But particularly if somebody lives on a farm and has emotional attachments to animals I don't need that kind of crazy in my life.
> I spent a good portion of my senior year waiting on a girlfriend to do this and that and some other stupid stuff with a horse.
> I vowed then never to date another girl where the horse came before the people.
> ...


Animals, even livestock, are not "just animals that you buy and sell". Once bought, and until sold, they are a responsibility that the owner needs to take seriously if they ever expect to keep them in good health. Your ex girlfriend was obviously more mature than you in her realization of the care necessary for her horse, which probably gave her much more pleasure than you ever could.

I raise a few head of livestock. If I didn't spend the time and effort to keep them healthy then I would lose money. If my SO wasn't understanding of the fact that there are times when he can't be my priority, then much as it would hurt me, he would have to go.


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

Nsoitgoes said:


> Animals, even livestock, are not "just animals that you buy and sell". Once bought, and until sold, they are a responsibility that the owner needs to take seriously if they ever expect to keep them in good health. Your ex girlfriend was obviously more mature than you in her realization of the care necessary for her horse, which probably gave her much more pleasure than you ever could.
> 
> I raise a few head of livestock. If I didn't spend the time and effort to keep them healthy then I would lose money. If my SO wasn't understanding of the fact that there are times when he can't be my priority, then much as it would hurt me, he would have to go.


 Obviously you are one of those people like those at Katrina that would have insisted your pets be rescued with you. 
That you would choose animals over your SO indicates he isn't significant enough. 

I wouldn't expect that while dating but I would expect to eventually be more significant than anyone except kids. 
The problem with the ex and horse wasn't the care NEEDED.


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## Jlynnp (Sep 9, 2014)

After reading through this topic I can assure everyone if I end up single again I will stay that way. I do not have time to cater to someones whims. I sure do not need a man for money, a place to live, food to eat or anything else. I prefer my company and the company of my critters to most people I know and I certainly do not need a load of crap from anyone.


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

Jlynnp I think you nailed it I suspect a lot of people feel like you do and are being pushed into relationships by friends and family. 
I suspect it's a convention that people think they have to fulfill. 
You see some profiles that seem to be written for the express purpose of pushing people away. 

And you know what there's nothing wrong in preferring your horses companionship over a persons however don't try to rope someone in to that relationship without them knowing where they will stand. 
That's only fair.


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## Nsoitgoes (Jan 31, 2016)

AmericanStand said:


> Obviously you are one of those people like those at Katrina that would have insisted your pets be rescued with you.
> That you would choose animals over your SO indicates he isn't significant enough.
> 
> I wouldn't expect that while dating but I would expect to eventually be more significant than anyone except kids.
> The problem with the ex and horse wasn't the care NEEDED.


On the contrary, should there be a tornado or other life threatening occurrence humans come first. That is realistic. 

I do not choose my animals over my SO. They form a small but significant contribution to my income. It is in my best financial interest to take the time necessary to ensure that they contribute to the best of their potential. He is perfectly aware and supportive of my need to maintain my animals and my garden. That was discussed upfront when we started dating. If he wishes to be significant enough to contribute full time to my welfare fund I guess we could renegotiate, though he seems happy enough for me to earn my own keep. Meanwhile we enjoy the short breaks and the differences in lifestyles that our visits to each other's homes provide.


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## Clem (Apr 12, 2016)

I have to believe that hooking up with a partner without knowing about her(or his) priorities indicates poor planning. Of course, when you're really young, like, 60 or under, it's possible to just fall in freaking love, blindly, with no regard for reality. Happened to me once. Or twice. Oh, all right, 4 times. Still, I know better now, but nobody's asking someone who knows. So, I have to go around to forums, volunteering what I've learned about life.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Ha. Took me 3 times to clue in. lol


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## ChocolateMouse (Jul 31, 2013)

"And you know what there's nothing wrong in preferring your horses companionship over a persons however don't try to rope someone in to that relationship without them knowing where they will stand. "

If only there were a way to demonstrate to someone that your animals were very important to you without much fuss, in a really obvious, up-front way...

Like maybe a picture of yourself with them, in a really obvious place that nobody can miss.

But nah. That'd just be weird and creepy and indicate you are into bestiality to some people. XD


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Girl, as mom usta say,
(U chew a rag until U chew it in 2) lol
I wrote in my profile in FO, that I was a farmer/gardener/homesteader. That's all I did, That was all of my hobbies, and if a woman thought that she might be interested in me, but not into the life that I live as listed above, I would MUCH advise her to change her mind, as she would soon find me terribly boring, as I would find her.


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## ChocolateMouse (Jul 31, 2013)

Sorry you boys can't handle your own posts being looked at critically. How fragile and delicate. Men are such mysterious little flowers. You sure seem to have really critical standards for the ladies you wanna date... Not so much for yourselves though. Maybe you should judge a little less if you don't wanna be judged. Seems like I read that in some famous book somewhere. Probably some important person said it.
Personally, I just call em like I see em. And the mennins in this thread are EXACTLY the reason why us ladies prefer our doggos.


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## CajunSunshine (Apr 24, 2007)

Wow. This thread...It's one of the weirdest ones I've seen in a while.

On another note, CM, please don't paint with such a large brush. Not everyone falls in those broad categories. Looking around, I can say that fortunately only a few do... and I suspect there is a whole lot of misunderstanding going on, along with a sprinkle of crusty cynicism and a dash of bitterness.


.


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## ChocolateMouse (Jul 31, 2013)

Cajun!

Hold the boat friend !
I didn't mean to imply the men that post that pictures of their kids and horses were to attract perverts and advertise for bestiality were all bad people!
It's rather they are not thinking their actions through and the law of in intended consequences takes over.

Its sad that in this day and age, we have to so much more think out our actions. What once was a cute comment to a friend that was shared with a select few, nowadays, a online post gets shown to EVERYBODY who chooses to look at it, and if the sender knew the thoughts of some of the viewers, it would likely scare them to death.


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## CajunSunshine (Apr 24, 2007)

AmericanStand said:


> It's rather *they are not thinking their actions through and the law of in intended consequences takes over.*





FarmboyBill said:


> Yup, that's how I saw it also. Its sad that in this day and age, we have to so much more think out our actions. What once was a cute photo in paper that was shown to a select few, nowadays, a online photo gets shown to EVERYBODY who choses to look at it, and i*f the sender knew the thoughts of some of the viewers, it would likely scare them to death.*


I believe the above statements were not meant to insult, but a call to exercise caution.

I think what is being portrayed here is the fact that the Internet is *full* of predators. So many of us sit in the privacy of our homes typing away on our keyboards, unaware of the legions of predators who comb the internet looking for prey.

The crap we read about in the news is only the _tip of the iceberg, _people. Statistics are scary and sobering, but do not show the whole picture, either.

For example check out the support groups for stalking victims, and you will get a glimpse of the methods that predators use. Dating sites, Facebook and message boards are ripe playing fields for them. Fortunately, many people luck out and miss the predator's dragnets._ Unfortunately, too many get caught. _

Myself, I would never post photos of myself or my loved ones online, much less personal details. But that's just me.

.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

I don't mind being judged. But in the country you occupy, even with things the way they currently are, You only get judged ONCE.


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## ChocolateMouse (Jul 31, 2013)

You wouldn't post your picture??? But Cajun! U gotta know that means youre trying to hide something.
Ah yes, gotta watch out for that lone predator stalking you... For your sexy, sexy, dog.  Something everyone oughta look out for.

"However for those of you that are into that sort of thing there are specific websites just for that"
"As for the bestiality thing think about what's been implied before, that certain women would rather have the companionship of their pet to having a man in their lives. Obviously a man comes second and how many purposes can he have ?"
"
Clearly this was a warning. Definitely not a statement about how women sleep with their dogs. What a good warning, highly effective. Definitely not just deeply disturbing judgments about women.


Farmboybill, being judged again, as in someone seeing you as a potentially better person, requires some sort of sign that that person has changed their mind. Like an admission that their actions were disturbing and wrong. Or an acknowledgement that they need to do better in the future.
If all you got to respond with is "Well, I said some stuff that a lot of other people think is really horrible and disgusting. I guess my only solution is to tell all of them about how they are wrong without acknowledging the negative consequences of my actions!" why on EARTH would anyone think more of you for that? :T


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## ChocolateMouse (Jul 31, 2013)

You wouldn't post your picture??? But Cajun! U gotta know that means youre trying to hide something.

Ah yes, gotta watch out for that lone predator stalking you... For your sexy, sexy, dog.  Something everyone oughta look out for.

"However for those of you that are into that sort of thing there are specific websites just for that"
"As for the bestiality thing think about what's been implied before, that certain women would rather have the companionship of their pet to having a man in their lives. Obviously a man comes second and how many purposes can he have ?"
"
Clearly this was a warning. Definitely not a statement about how women sleep with their dogs. What a good warning, highly effective. Definitely not just deeply disturbing judgments about women.

Farmboybill, being judged again, as in someone seeing you as a potentially better person, requires some sort of sign that that person has changed their mind. Like an admission that their actions were disturbing and wrong in this case. Or an acknowledgement that they need to do better in the future.
If all you got to rely on is "Well, I said some stuff that other people think is really horrible and disgusting. I guess my only solution is to tell all of them about how they are wrong without acknowledging the negative consequences of my actions!" why on EARTH would anyone think more of you for that? :T


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

lol I don't know what percent take a romantic interest in their animals but there must be some since there are websites to serve them.


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