# myths about womens bust



## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

ER, Myths about women busted

59% of women asked said they could be attracted only in a single man
90% of women asked said they could easily be attracted to a man who was already hooked.
73% of men said they feel better after crying.
60% of women fake it
39% of men fake it.
70% of men believe in marriage
44% of women believe in marriage

Men and women BOTH talk around 1600 words a day. (Bet I didnt talk 600 today. That merans some women got to talk 2,600 words today lol)


Women and men show the same amount of emotion


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## SimplerTimez (Jan 20, 2008)

149% of women who thought the man was single, made him cry, then faked sympathy when they found out the man wanted to get married when he already WAS married to 44% of the other woman (we all know what parts those are)

I agree men and women show the same emotion - it's just over different things 

~ST


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## Tommyice (Dec 5, 2010)

Does typing words count as talking if you're reading them out loud to yourself?


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

Big Busted Women...


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

How in the heck can a guy fake it? I mean there is no way a guy could pull that stunt off?


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## CntryDaydreamer (Mar 7, 2013)

cindi~ I have heard that they can ... same as a woman ohh ohhh oohhhhh .. except with a roll over and snore at the end ... hehe


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

I say no way. You would know for sure. And if a guy is smart enough he would know as well. Ha, ha, on the snoring, that is kinda a good sign, means ya wore them out.


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## CntryDaydreamer (Mar 7, 2013)

or bored them into a coma:teehee:


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

LOL lol


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## Vickie44 (Jul 27, 2010)

Did you know 73% of statistics are made up ?


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## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

I don't really understand the attracted part. I mean...being attracted to a guy doesn't really have anything to do with whether or not he's in a relationship, does it? You either are or aren't attracted. Crossing lines with married or otherwise occupied (lol) men is something different. I thought. :shrug:

Do women really find men that are taken that much more attractive?? I guess I don't understand. Once I saw or heard someone say that taken men are more attractive because you know they are good....I'm not sure how that works...who knows...he might be in a relationship with a crazy ....uhm...lady.


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## unregistered168043 (Sep 9, 2011)

Vickie44 said:


> Did you know 73% of statistics are made up ?


Only 44% of the time.


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

I have a daycare kid that would fill his word quota in the first hour of being here. I fill the word quota in the first conversation in the morning with my best friend talking on the phone.


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## frogmammy (Dec 8, 2004)

WhyNot said:


> ...I guess I don't understand. Once I saw or heard someone say that taken men are more attractive because you know they are good....


If they were any good, they wouldn't be looking around.

Mon


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

WhyNot ask the men in here. I bet most would tell you that there luck improved ALOT while/when they were married.
I know mine did. I can remember being mad that, AFTER I married a gal cause she seemed interested and none others did, that I was flocked by gals who looked at me, at the least, and some few actually hit on me, and they, were way better looking than the one I had picked outa desperation. AND this was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back in the 60s


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

FM. Wolowitz said it best on bbt. She dosent care where I get my moter running, just so long as I know where to park the car LOL.

AND< IF you dont believe that women can be so blatent that its impossible to ignore them, being a guy, youve lived a sheltered life. I bet theres some gals in here who can varify that, theres NO guy they couldnt make look at them, AND, thats NOT with them being nekked or in a bikini, but being fully dressed.


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## Jim-mi (May 15, 2002)

. . 97% of women really like me..............


See . . I just made stats work in my favor . . . . . . .

(the 3% are deaf and blind)


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

those 3% are mine, IF there under 40. IF there my age, nivvermind, I can find THEM Easy


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Married men are out, out and OUT. Sorry, but if a man is married they are OFF limits, and I would hope that works the same for women. I am finding out I am very very old fashioned it seems, or old school, or what ever you want to call it. You put a ring on my finger and that is it.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

nope. I dont look at married women myself, as soon as I see the band, AND thats the 5th thing I look at, and the first thing I look for.
Its waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too easy to get shot nowadays for young guys to be doing that kinda stuff.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

What women find attractive about married men is the Puppydog look that shows he's already house broken and leash trained. The attraction only lasts until she knows he taken and he hits on her anyway.....Then the ICK factor kick in.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Regretably, I suppose theres something in that. Does that mean, cause he is minding his own business, and dosent seem to notice a good looking woman as quick as a single guy would, that he seems like a nice guy?? Could be


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

Ewwww! Puppy dog look is soooo not attractive! Why would any woman want a man who acts like a puppy? I prefer strong, protective guard dogs!!!


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

And....why would any woman be attracted to a whiny, wimpy housetrained pushover who looks like a puppy? 
Yes, Maam kind of guy???? No, thank you?


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Leave the puppies to you, right? lol


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Youll take care of the puppies, u want a big dawg to take care of you lol


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

FarmboyBill said:


> Youll take care of the puppies, u want a big dawg to take care of you lol


Something like that!!! :angel:


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## xaguar_69 (Feb 8, 2006)

Awe Shan you just wanna break the big dog yourself lol, Whats the challenge in a yes ma'am kinda boy


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

xaguar_69 said:


> Awe Shan you just wanna break the big dog yourself lol, Whats the challenge in a yes ma'am kinda boy


 
Yep yep yep!!!!


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

Why do some women turn their men into house broken, leash trained, neutered puppy dogs? Because that's the way they like them.

Not what I want either.


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

Oh, I knew that wasn't your style either, Laura!!! 

It is definitely not attractive!


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

shanzone2001 said:


> And....why would any woman be attracted to a whiny, wimpy housetrained pushover who looks like a puppy?
> Yes, Maam kind of guy???? No, thank you?


Shan, you and I like the same kinda men, lol. Uggggg on the puppy dawg look and whining. I want a real man who is not afraid of being a man and standing up for all that is right.


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

cindilu said:


> Shan, you and I like the same kinda men, lol. Uggggg on the puppy dawg look and whining. I want a real man who is not afraid of being a man and standing up for all that is right.


 
No pushovers...and lots of stamina to keep up with us!!!


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

I was going to add that I am pretty strong willed and I want someone that can stand and hold their ground with me. If you are the push over type, yep, you are out.


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

Huh, Cindilu, and here I was going to add that if you need viagra you need not bother, either!


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

shanzone2001 said:


> Huh, Cindilu, and here I was going to add that if you need viagra you need not bother, either!


Uh yeah, no kidding on that as well. Ugggg, that just makes me sick thinking about it, ewwww. If ya can't keep up with me on your own free will then I would not be the person for ya. I like healthy, and healthy, and healthy. Viagra, :umno:


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## xaguar_69 (Feb 8, 2006)

Well lets see now, Manly man not puppy dog boy.... Check! Stamina to keep up.... Walk 4 to 6 miles of track all day swinging sledge hammer.... Check! Not even going to touch the lil blue pill lol. What other critera ladies lol...... inquiring minds wanna know lol.


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

OK, if you have bad credit and are wanted by the IRS....that is a big fat NO NO as well!!!!


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Yeah, good one as well. I have no debt, I really don't want to take on someone else's, been there and done that before. Survived that rodeo but don't want to climb on that pony's back again.


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## xaguar_69 (Feb 8, 2006)

I suppose my credit could always be better but am in good standing with the IRS so maybe thats a wash lol.


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

You are killing me, Xag!

Well, you are drug free and have a great job with benefits. Those are important!


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Nah, you are good, lol. Long as the IRS isn't coming after you. Being debt free isn't the norm, yeah, I know I am weird that way as well. You are a hard worker right?


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

Xag works his butt off!!!!


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Do ya like coffee brought to you in bed, do ya like your towel scented and brought to you when you jump out of the shower?


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

cindilu said:


> Do ya like coffee brought to you in bed, do ya like your towel scented and brought to you when you jump out of the shower?


Not much of a coffee drinker and I love my towel warm from the dryer!

Ohhhh, you meant Xag, huh?:nana:


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## xaguar_69 (Feb 8, 2006)

Awe shucks Shan ya flatter me. Yes indeed I enjoy my coffee anywhere and cant comment on scented towels since havent experienced such a thing.... Ya all like yer men scented up? Sounds kinda frilly to me but hey Im up to trying new things lol.


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## xaguar_69 (Feb 8, 2006)

shanzone2001 said:


> Not much of a coffee drinker and I love my towel warm from the dryer!
> 
> Ohhhh, you meant Xag, huh?:nana:


Ok this was just too funny lol. :gaptooth:


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

Cindi is the scent girl!!! I do like the smell of candles burning around the house, though. 

I can't imagine Xag in a pretty purple towel!!! Bwahahaha!


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Um, man scent is good, as long as we get to breathe you in.


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

No no and no to the pretty purple towel, mine are brown, is that a okay color. I LOVE smells, teehee.


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## xaguar_69 (Feb 8, 2006)

Ohh I am a fan of candles and Cindilu as long as ya breathe me in before I go to work you would be alright lol after ya might want to rethink....


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## xaguar_69 (Feb 8, 2006)

Ohhh pretty purple towels..... Shan really..... Brown works just fine lol as long as it dries me off all is good.


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Oh, la la, don't tempt me. And the smell of a man isn't so bad after work either. It means they have worked hard and that is always a good thing.


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## xaguar_69 (Feb 8, 2006)

Well blue collar jobs is all Ive known. I aint never been kicked off a job site so guessin I hold my own lol.


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

Cindilu might need to go take a cold shower after your posts here, Xag! 

I am immune to such tempting thoughts...marriage does that to ya!!! lol


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## xaguar_69 (Feb 8, 2006)

Awe Cindilu am I botherin you? Well of course yer immune Shan when ya got your own Fellar at home lol....


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## Jenstc2003 (Apr 4, 2012)

Who wants a man who is nothing but a doe eyed puppy who does everything you want? There's something to be said for a man with some of his roughest edges softened, of course, but it can go too far VERY easily. I'd rather have to deal with some rough edges than teach a man how to stand up for himself.


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

shanzone2001 said:


> Cindilu might need to go take a cold shower after your posts here, Xag!
> 
> I am immune to such tempting thoughts...marriage does that to ya!!! lol


A cold shower is exactly what I need, oh but wait, then I will be thinking about manly smells and scented towels, and a man who works hard for a living. Ya can't get better then that. :kiss:


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## xaguar_69 (Feb 8, 2006)

Awe sounds like Ive ruined the cold shower remedy or made it even better lol... Guess its all in the way you wanna look at it lol.


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Yeah, and I was rather liking the images I had playing around in my head. LOL. :angel:


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## xaguar_69 (Feb 8, 2006)

Well then by all means enjoy......


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

cindilu said:


> Um, man scent is good, as long as we get to breathe you in.



???Man scent????,,,,,,,,,,uh,,,,,,Ya mean like a Fart??????


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## SimplerTimez (Jan 20, 2008)

L.A. said:


> ???Man scent????,,,,,,,,,,uh,,,,,,Ya mean like a Fart??????


rincess::fussin:

Worst

Thing

Ever

:soap:

~ST


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## mickm (Jul 23, 2010)

Laura said:


> What women find attractive about married men is the Puppydog look that shows he's already house broken and leash trained. The attraction only lasts until she knows he taken and he hits on her anyway.....Then the ICK factor kick in.


I was shocked after my divorce at the married women that hit on me. I have rarely had dingle women hit on me, or atleadt i was oblivious to it when it happened, so i was reall durprised st the married women who were looking for some action. I wouldnt do it, even in one case where the husband approved of his wife stepping out, and was often chastised for it.

I guess i bristle a little when i see men portrayed as womanizers, because ot has been much the reverse in my exsperience.

In my marriage, my ex would show emotions, she just wouldnt talk about them

Humans are complicated.


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Well, you won't see me hitting on a married man, sorry that is just not my style. And I have no clue about people who have open marriages and they are okay with it. I went out last fall with a gal friend and it turned out she was a 50 Shades kinda gal and it was okay with her hubby. I become the target of her attraction and that is the last time I have gone out. It scared the living daylights out of me. Yes, I know and understand that is the world we now live in, but you can count me OUT. I don't think I have been out to a club since then either, it really scared me that much. Yep, I am thinking being home safe and sound is the way to go.


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

Good Grief! I hit the hay for a good night's sleep, get up this mornin', tune in here, and see what you all have been up to! Dang! I miss out on all the fun!


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## mickm (Jul 23, 2010)

Oh, i dont much care about what others do.

I never noticed women flirting with me more when i had a ring on.

I like to make people laugh, so i have been accused of flirting, when i was just teasing.


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## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

Hey LT, I found more ST Code! :grin: Last year I found out that dating in ST Code actually meant sex. Now, it seems that finding someone attractive also means sex.

hmmm......the ST Matrix LMAO. :banana:


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## mickm (Jul 23, 2010)

Is there a decipher ring i can order?

I just cant follow alk the initials stuff. Its like my friends in the military. 

Whats LT? For example.

Long trunk, live tapila, large turnip?


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## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

LT is Lonelytree...ask SimplerTimez about the decoder ring...


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## RideBarefoot (Jun 29, 2008)

I had one of those dogs once, dang thing wouldn't stay on the porch...


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## SimplerTimez (Jan 20, 2008)

WhyNot said:


> LT is Lonelytree...ask SimplerTimez about the decoder ring...


Looks around innocently...:banana:

"We don't got no stinkin' decoder rings, no suh" (stuffs something underneath the loveseat quickly and stealthily)



~ST


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## CntryDaydreamer (Mar 7, 2013)

*lol* the puppy dog look .... i would just be happy that they didn't piddle on the floor and put the toilet seat down!!

I think its more that a woman thinks there must be something the guy has that a woman would get hitched to him. 

As for me I do not give a rats behind married is married... separated is still married ... working on a divorce/getting a divorce still married... and guys will lie through their teeth to get what they want. No offense to the guys here. I am sure some women do the same.


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## Guest (Mar 22, 2013)

Just my own 2 cents..

If I happen to see a handsome man, I would think, "that's man's very good looking!"..would I be "attracted" to him, as in, wowza, how do I meet this guy?

If I were single, yes..but only if he was single also.

If I were married, no. For me, and every one of my friends, being in a marriage means being devoted 100% to your spouse..period..end of conversation..no way would I want or need to take up with another man..


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

Those housebroken, leash trained Puppy Dogs like to slip their collars. Roughly half the hits on me are from this bunch propositioning me for sex with their Sad Puppy Tales of Woe how their wives don't understand their NEEDS.

Ick.

Men I find interesting get a background check. Wives do turn up and I won't go there. 

Puppy Dogs, Hound Dogs, Horn Dogs, Stray Dogs and the occasional Faithful Friend or Working Partner. Some have value, some don't. Some need to be shot.


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## CntryDaydreamer (Mar 7, 2013)

*LOL* You know google checks and fb checks usually say a lot with out going to background checks *LOL* I have caught a few guys that way. Tisks! Sad that we have to learn that humanity can not be trusted.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

The men and many of the women around here don't do facebook. Most of the outdoorsmen don't even have computers.

Google is always a good start, but I use business associations and court house records searches.


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## mickm (Jul 23, 2010)

People who cheat, should be shot. No doubt.

I wont be doing background checks anytime soin, though.

I dont really care if folks have court records, dont pay their bills etc... Thsts a pretty poor,gauge of someone.

Dont lie to me, and have empathy for others. If you can cook a good egg, its a plus. I get tired of cooking for everyone!


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## Guest (Mar 22, 2013)

I use NSA..it's good to have friends in high places...:rock:


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

NSA? No strings attached? lol


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

mickm said:


> People who cheat, should be shot. No doubt.
> 
> I wont be doing background checks anytime soin, though.
> 
> ...


 How many times have we heard men say they want to die in bed...in the arms of a beautiful woman, shot dead by a jealous husband?

Women don't play that way. Even when their husbands are chronic philanderers, they will always blame the other woman, even when the other women were heavily pursued and had no clue he was married. Women seek to destroy other women socially and economically, will obsess about her with friends to bring her down. They will spread lies, make complaints to her boss, call every county agency with false reports to build a wall of harassment. Rarely will they look inside their marriage to fix what's broken.

My motivation for checking records is Low Drama for DD and I. Records of marriage should be followed by a divorce decree or death certificate. Property, businesses and home residence need to not have a spouse listed jointly. Court records need to be free of DV assaults, restraining orders, multiple babymamas, drug and alcohol violations.

Even after all that is clear, men will still be Drama Kings.

I live in a low population area. Town 12 miles away is 3,000. My fire district is 1,000, the next district is 600. I do not have the protections of anonyminity in high density outer-suburbia many of you have. I am the wild card in this fishbowl. I plan to play it wisely.


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## mickm (Jul 23, 2010)

Never heard me say it, and i have never cheated or been the other guy. I have however been cheated on.

I live ten miles outside a town i grew up , and have owned a business in for 20 years. 

I think a few folks know me. 

I hate to start out checking up on someone. I judge folks on how they treat me.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Well, I was with a married woman only once, and I didnt know she was married till her husbnand nearly caught us, and filled my new Levis fulla holes, But Ive already told that


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

It helps when you've known everyone for decades and grew up with them. I learned the value of that after leaving my home area years ago. I do not have that luxury in my life as I build a new one post-divorce.

When I got rid of the x, I also swept out the disordered snakes and hyenas he surrounded me with. I am starting over from scratch and truly did not know many people. As I build a new circle of trustworthy friendships, I can solicit information from them about status and reputations and rely less on background checks.

While I do want a relationship, I want a healthy one and I'm willing to wait for the right man to share the journey. Because I'm involved in logging, fire department and fishing, and I truly love men, it's important I convey to the wives their husbands are safe with me. The men who are "allowed" to be men do not try to cheat.


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## Tommyice (Dec 5, 2010)

Laura said:


> Women don't play that way. Even when their husbands are chronic philanderers, they will always blame the other woman, even when the other women were heavily pursued and had no clue he was married. Women seek to destroy other women socially and economically, will obsess about her with friends to bring her down. They will spread lies, make complaints to her boss, call every county agency with false reports to build a wall of harassment. Rarely will they look inside their marriage to fix what's broken.


Good golly the women where you live are nasty. Around here, I can honestly say I don't know a one who would act like that.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

Tommyice said:


> Good golly the women where you live are nasty. Around here, I can honestly say I don't know a one who would act like that.


 Yeah, like the Shrew Crews never left 9th grade. That's the way it is here in the patriarchal communities of the rural west. Most women do not have economic independence from men and will seek to anhilate any threat to their security. 

Meanwhile, their husbands get high-fived for their extracurricular conquests by the buds.

Basic human nature.


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## Tommyice (Dec 5, 2010)

Laura said:


> Yeah, like the Shrew Crews never left 9th grade. That's the way it is here in the patriarchal communities of the rural west. Most women do not have economic independence from men and will seek to anhilate any threat to their security.
> 
> Meanwhile, their husbands get high-fived for their extracurricular conquests by the buds.
> 
> *Basic human nature.*


Laura you're painting with a very broad brush, almost a spray gun there. 

I don't believe basic human nature is to be a conniving, vengeful dirtbag.

I guess I'm very lucky--that's not the basic nature of any human I know or am acquainted or associated with.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Ive worked around guys all the 45yrs ive worked. I NEVER heard ANY men congradulate any guy who was running around on hiw wife. IF there was any reactions to such, it was minimal, BUT It was negitive


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

Tommyice said:


> Laura you're painting with a very broad brush, almost a spray gun there.
> 
> I don't believe basic human nature is to be a conniving, vengeful dirtbag.
> 
> I guess I'm very lucky--that's not the basic nature of any human I know or am acquainted or associated with.


 Of course there's the flipside. The philanderer actually divorces his wife for the "Other Woman." He whines and paints the wife and her evil lawyer black for "taking everything." 

Meanwhile, the women of the jilted wife's church turn their backs on her because she could not "keep" her husband and she is now a threat to THEM. She may end up with only 1 or 2 friends left after everyone chooses sides, and she is living in a much lower socio-economic status.

It may appear to be a broad brush, but I'm discussing the effects of marital infidelity, a symptom of lack of character in dysfunctional relationships. The dynamics don't apply to people healthy enough to stay out of those situations, or who have healthy relationships with healthy partners.

The Wild West really is a different world. Human nature desiring survivalism is NOT bullfrogs and butterflies.


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## CntryDaydreamer (Mar 7, 2013)

I have seen both the women with vengeful anger like hot lace deep down to the core and fight the wrong battles like Laura described and those that know exactly what is going on but pretend it isn't happening and those who are screwing around to and could care less as long as their husband is supplying the life they want. This goes same for men. 

Honestly I think cheating drains so much from a relationship. The person cheating is concentrating on something else than continuing to build a good relationship with their partner. Cheating online or real life. I have done the whole online dating thing and there is an emotional attachment that happens, so I think there is such a thing as online/text/phone cheating.


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## coolrunnin (Aug 28, 2010)

And I thought we only needed to fence off California guess its the whole west coast...LOL


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## CntryDaydreamer (Mar 7, 2013)

FarmboyBill said:


> Ive worked around guys all the 45yrs ive worked. I NEVER heard ANY men congradulate any guy who was running around on hiw wife. IF there was any reactions to such, it was minimal, BUT It was negitive


You must work with good men. I worked at a hotel and watched guys hook up then have their wife or girl come with their children. The guys would encourage or make comments about how hot or ----ty or whatever the woman they cheated with was.

Or guys go out of their way to flirt with me or out right ask me to go to their hotel room even with a ring on and me telling them I was married and their co-workers telling me they were married. I had a guy when I was pregnant whom kept trying after I went through the I'm married I'm pregnant I'm not interested go to your room ugh:umno:. That was annoying. Funny afterwards though.


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## Tommyice (Dec 5, 2010)

Oh nevermind.


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## mickm (Jul 23, 2010)

I do agree with,laura that churches are bad.

I can tell you that if i knew a guy was cheating on jis wife, he wouldnt get hi fives from me, or my friends.

You have known,some,serious,&?%$ holes.

cant accurately describe them on here. 

I think if the world,was,as,bleak as you paint it, i wouldnt be,a,happy person.


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

I suppose there may be pockets of what Laura describes, but I live pretty rural and on the West Coast, and I don't see the alleged behavior here. The women with whom I spend my time all fully understand the compliance necessary by the men in their lives for cheating to happen -- and they wouldn't blame or scheme against The Other Woman. They'd know exactly whose commitment had wavered.

Not trying to be contrary, Laura, but your Wild West must be different than mine.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

This stuff can be pretty subtle, not the public hair-pulling cat fights guys like to watch.

A woman can have no idea why her boss is all of a sudden giving her a bad time and cutting her hours, her rent got jacked up and CPS is contacting her once a week to inspect her children. How is she supposed to know it's connected to that guy she dated a couple of times who said he was separated from his wife, but then went back to her? Emotional terrorism at its finest.

I think this happens everywhere, not just the backwoods timber towns where I've lived. I think it would be harder to pull off in heavier populated areas though. This area is notorious for its bullying though, and assholiness is rampant. Most single women here have a really hard time and seem quite fearful. I think they've been trampled by the cows. I follow my rules of conduct and do okay.


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

mickm said:


> I do agree with,laura that churches are bad.
> 
> I can tell you that if i knew a guy was cheating on jis wife, he wouldnt get hi fives from me, or my friends.
> 
> ...


I took my life time membership out of a church here because of men who would cheat on their wives or wife in this case and then have the you know what to get down on me because I was dating a man of color. That does not fly with me and I will have no part of it. Not worth the time of day and I will not be around people like that. So I am church free and have decided to never date again because it seems people cannot leave well enough alone. I will never be cheated on again either, been on that rodeo before and have no plans to ever go back.


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## Shrek (May 1, 2002)

SimplerTimez said:


> ...I agree men and women show the same emotion - it's just over different things
> 
> ~ST


Thats why men often cry when their wives run off with their best friends. They miss the best friend plus he usually was the one who owned the bass boat


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## mickm (Jul 23, 2010)

People suck, but i cant get away from being one. My wife left me for a woman, and she wasnt even lesbian. She also left me with outstanding dept, a young son that i had to quit a good job to care for, and eventuslly csused me to loose my home, and maje a shamble of my credit and life.

Enough to make a guy bitter, and i was for awhile. Life's too short. I have seen all kinda evil, but it only has power over you, if ya let it. Truth is, she did me a favor. I get to raise a don, and live poor. Credit is a saddle thst i font care to carry. It brought me back to the earth, which is where i belong.

I see good every day done by people, thst doesnt make any head lines. I have a step son , from my marriage, that chooses to still spend time eith a boring, old man. I have a don, who just turned 11, who still tells me, "i love you", rigjt when i need to hear it.

I dont plan to date, but i still enjoy good conversation, the curve a woman's hip and the flash of shine in a happy woman's eye, so who knows? Life is strange. Maybe its in the cards for me, maybe it aint., but i refuse to become bitter.

Life is tooooooo short.


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## mickm (Jul 23, 2010)

If i live another 20 years, maybe i will be able to type on a touch screen.


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Mick, all those things you talk about that you lost, the is just stuff. In the grand scheme of things, they are just that, things. What you did gain was your son and you can never put a price tag on that. 

In life, who really cares what your credit score is, or how much money you have in the bank. I measure worth by how you care for family, because to me that is way more valuable then any thing else on this earth.


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## mickm (Jul 23, 2010)

Yep, we naked and alone, and we leave the same. I struggled with the idea that i wouldnt leave my sons with sny material possesions. Its the same way my parents left me, despite their efforts, but ya wanta do better.

I sm doing my best to leave them with knowledge. I think its be a spooky world, and its gonna need strong men (and women), i hope to leave my sons as strong men.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Cindi, as to your last sentence, I imagine that most men would say,  WHO CARES.? 90% of all women care, thats who,, and the prettiest, the ones with the curvy hips that Mick speaks of, and all the other stuff that exude woman, THEY CARE MORE>


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

FarmboyBill said:


> Cindi, as to your last sentence, I imagine that most men would say, WHO CARES.? 90% of all women care, thats who,, and the prettiest, the ones with the curvy hips that Mick speaks of, and all the other stuff that exude woman, THEY CARE MORE>


Bill, I already know I do not fit in the category that most women fit into. I am not the 90% and I am for sure not the prettiest curvy type. But I will tell you that to me family is every thing. My kids are my world. 

And as to what you leave your children? How about life lessons and a legacy they can pass down to their children called family values, treating another human with compassion, respect, love, loyalty. Again, there is no amount of money that can take the place of those things.


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## mickm (Jul 23, 2010)

Well bill, i will never be rich, but i am well.........mannered.

So, i got a chance.:bouncy:

Who care? Rather be alone, then be eith a woman who wants mo money. I eill give ya thst not many would live poor, but i only need one


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Poor is in the eye of the beholder...


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Living within your means is sexy....I am the new amish...lol


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## mickm (Jul 23, 2010)

Hey, bill think as mish chicks are HOT! :goodjob:

Beauty is in the eye of the billfolder, er beerholder, i mean beeholder.

Hey girl, wanta see my apiary?


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

mickm said:


> Hey, bill think as mish chicks are HOT! :goodjob:
> 
> Beauty is in the eye of the billfolder, er beerholder, i mean beeholder.
> 
> Hey girl, wanta see my apiary?


I'v had my chance of living with a ton of money, living on a private island and never ever having to worry about stuff again. I turned it down, I could not have chickens there, I could not homestead, I would not have lived in a small tiny house and I am out out out. 

Instead I will either live by myself or maybe, more like doubtful find someone else who is willing to live on the rez, live at least semi off the grid but be able to have chickens, gardens, goats, bees. BUT most important I will also be able to hunt and fish with my father and sister and family is just that, family and you cannot put a price tag on time with family.


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Fowler said:


> Living within your means is sexy....I am the new amish...lol


Girl, you are hawt amish chic or not, lol. :kissy:


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Mick, as I said in another postinf, and in reference to your asking me if I could like amish chicks. Go to (athe art of Gardening ) on U tube. i could love ANY of those 4 gals.

AT SOME TIME IN MY LIFE< including now lol


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## mickm (Jul 23, 2010)

FarmboyBill said:


> Mick, as I said in another postinf, and in reference to your asking me if I could like amish chicks. Go to (athe art of Gardening ) on U tube. i could love ANY of those 4 gals.
> 
> AT SOME TIME IN MY LIFE< including now lol



I am just teasing you and fowler. I watched the video, or the first few minutes. They are attractive women, and obviouslly talented gardeners etc..

I just like my women a little less "up tight".


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## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

Laura...it's all over, no matter others' experiences, mine echo yours.

I grew up and subsequently went back to a village of 700. I have also been to all states except one...I find the same as you are describing everywhere. Whether in a small or large community there is ALWAYS a percentage of the population that engages in this or that.

In fact, I have been very active on boards and groups on the internet since 1992 and even in those...all the way up to ALL of the present boards I am on...the same jealousy and indignation, insecurity and etc that you describe goes on. Even here, at Homesteading Today. I've watched it all play out.

Those that do not see it or not exposed....be thankful...human condition is what it is. People are what\who they are. I can do no less and neither can they.

There are always the small minded gossips, the insecure, the jealous and usually they have nothing to be jealous about if they would get their heads out of their rears.

Kudos to you Laura, for always speaking your mind. I get the sense that you are in stature a small lady...but you are a big tiger in fighting for what is right and for what is good. I admire the work you do (what I know of it) for I have needed the work that you and yours have done....it does not go unappreciated (you know what I am talking about).


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

WhyNot, your experience is yours, and Laura's is Laura's, and my own post did not attempt to invalidate Laura's experience. Nor will I attempt or have any need to invalidate yours. Conversely, your truth is not mine, and I suspect not necessarily the truth of others here, either.

It's not the expression of one's experiences here. It's the insistence that their experience is the only one that is true or valid. And with that, I cannot agree. You may find Laura's post heroic, but I find it painting with a broad brush -- and not at all representative of of human nature as a whole.

I have never said that such behavior doesn't exist, but I sure haven't found it exists to the degree that you each have found. And yes, for that I am exceedingly thankful.


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## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

Well as you have said, Rae...everyone's experience is their own. It all really does depend on what we have been exposed to or, sometimes, what we choose to see. (not meaning anything but what it says there...many times I have found myself choosing not to see something that is there, but that doesn't mean that if a person does not see it, that it is there) hmmm lol.

In any case, my post was not a reference to anyone else that said anything "against" Laura's post...but more that I have experienced the same or similar, not only in small rural (ignorant, possibly) areas but also in the "big city" and online. 

I am not sure about my post being about how "heroic" Laura is...she's not up on a pedestal as far as I am concerned...HOWEVER...I do appreciate the insights she does have at times...just as I appreciate anyone else's insight at times. I just chose now to say something about this particular thing.

Oh and I will still stand by the idea that you can find someone attractive, whether or not you or they are married and not want to have sex with them...which I find a ridiculous equation that is made here among people. But...that also is what it is...and really has no bearing on my other post but...I find it weird that people automatically equate finding someone attractive with cheating on someone. It's very interesting from my perspective.


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

WhyNot, I do agree with you that one can find someone attractive and it ought not be considered cheating. That's kind of nutty, to my way of thinking. But jealousy knows no bounds in some. That much is within my own experience.

I would only add to your observations that often, when something keeps happening to us, it is useful to examine the common denominator. It can be found by looking in the mirror. Like you, I'm not meaning anything beyond the words that are there. And sometimes by doing that, we can discover the thing we are willfully choosing not to see.


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## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

Raeven said:


> I would only add to your observations that often, when something keeps happening to us, it is useful to examine the common denominator. It can be found by looking in the mirror. Like you, I'm not meaning anything beyond the words that are there. And sometimes by doing that, we can discover the thing we are willfully choosing not to see.


This holds, as far as I am concerned...though only when we are making observations about our own life....I don't know about you but I watch people a lot and watch them do what they do, most of the time it's not about watching them make the same mistakes over and over but just watching them in general.

You do not have to directly experience something in order to observe it. For instance, I have observed over the years people trying to do things to me by ways of their actions\behavior and perhaps some of it "worked" to whatever means they laid out, but most often, rather than not, it just makes them look bad.

This is what I was most referring to in Laura's posts. While it may not even be the common denominator, a lot of women DO act the way she was illustrating...men as well. There is a jealousy factor that is rampant in our society and the only people it seems to hurt are those that are jealous and their targets, if such targets are perceptive to the actions.

As she was saying...maybe it's not the "norm" or maybe it's not even a high percentage...but it is there. You don't have to be a direct experiencer to watch it happen.

Personally I learn from my mistakes, it is not often that the same bad thing happens to me more than once. If something does continue, as in what we are speaking of here, it may continue from their end but has no effect on mine. I've been pretty much past the schoolyard girl bullies since 5th grade...it's their problem, not mine.


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## Cheri in NY (May 10, 2002)

mickm said:


> People suck, but i cant get away from being one. My wife left me for a woman, and she wasnt even lesbian. She also left me with outstanding dept, a young son that i had to quit a good job to care for, and eventuslly csused me to loose my home, and maje a shamble of my credit and life.
> 
> Enough to make a guy bitter, and i was for awhile. Life's too short. I have seen all kinda evil, but it only has power over you, if ya let it. Truth is, she did me a favor. I get to raise a don, and live poor. Credit is a saddle thst i font care to carry. It brought me back to the earth, which is where i belong.
> 
> ...



Very well said, even with the typos...I hope blessings come your way soon...for you and your son!


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

There is an implication in your post that the rest of us are not keen observers. I'm sure that's not what you meant to say, but if it is, then I must disagree. 

Again, I have never said that the behavior to which Laura referred does not exist. I have seen it and as you say, it is there. However, it's the insistence that it is rampant and pervasive, and that only her experience in this is valid. This is what I dispute.

I can only say it is not MY norm, and certainly not a high percentage in my life. Where it does exist, I have seen it in evolved cultures which fostered the behavior -- so if one is immersed in such a culture, a particular church, for example -- then yes, it would seem quite rampant from within that vantage point. However, that personal experience does not make it everyone's reality, or in fact, the norm.

Despite not having lived in every state in the Union, I have lived in a few, some urban, some semi-rural and some very rural. And all in the West. I like to think my experience is equally valid. And it is quite different.

The assertion that "The Wild West really is a different world," is the statement with which I fundamentally disagree.

As to the extent to which we allow such things to impact our own lives, I agree we have a great deal of control over that.



WhyNot said:


> This holds, as far as I am concerned...though only when we are making observations about our own life....I don't know about you but I watch people a lot and watch them do what they do, most of the time it's not about watching them make the same mistakes over and over but just watching them in general.
> 
> You do not have to directly experience something in order to observe it. For instance, I have observed over the years people trying to do things to me by ways of their actions\behavior and perhaps some of it "worked" to whatever means they laid out, but most often, rather than not, it just makes them look bad.
> 
> ...


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## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

Raeven said:


> There is an implication in your post that the rest of us are not keen observers.


I try very hard (and seemingly in vain) to make my posts how I mean them...and that is USUALLY...in a general observation perspective. Especially when talking in general about society.

What Laura posted, I didn't get the same "rampant" idea as you seem to have...so I guess that is where it varies.

I was just saying...similar to what you seem to have said..that....sometimes we just don't see what is there...and sometimes we see what isn't....but to say that something isn't there just because we don't immediately see it (where others might) doesn't mean it's not there.

I think it is naÃ¯ve (and I am sure you agree) to think this stuff doesn't happen whether directly experienced or not. As I said, my comments weren't really towards anyone's rebuttals specifically...but if we are to say specifically it would be to the one or ones that insist it just doesn't exist...which any semblance of actual world experience will tell you that it does, in some form...to some degree....everywhere.

By far I am not an "all is black or white" person...although many many many people operate that way. Not everything is black and white. That much, I have learned.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

I in no way feel invalidated that others don't perceive the prevelence of this social dynamic in their communities. This is not a behavior women brag about in their knitting circle. I've been aware of women doing this to other women they perceive as a threat for decades, although I haven't been vulnerable to it until now. Aside from a couple of years in my 20s, this is the first time I've been free, single and dating. Only this time I don't have solid income base and I don't know everyone and their cousin here. It's a higher population density than I am used to.

The part that startles me is the large percentage of men looking to cheat on their wives, or seek outside attention. Even their unwanted focus can cause their wives and their cliques to start throwing snakes.


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## mickm (Jul 23, 2010)

Laura, saying your personal exsperiences, are true everywhere, just aint fair.

For instance,

Will all women eventually cheat on their spouses?

Mine did, must be true for everyone.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

mickm said:


> Laura, saying your personal exsperiences, are true everywhere, just aint fair.
> 
> For instance,
> 
> ...


Mick, it is a social behavior that was pointed out to me by a couple of older friends when I was young. All it took was to shift the paradigm to see this undercurrent and the effects. Women are highly competitive and viscious when it comes to Alls Fair in Love and War. To many, Love and War are the same game.

I've had women admit to starting anonymous harassment campaigns against other women. Triple shoot their bloody marys on their Sunday brunch and they confide all kinds of stuff. One woman had nothing to say when I pointed out her victim was the wrong tall brunette of that name. The one she wanted had an A at the end of her name and drove a Land Rover, not a Land Cruiser. Ooops, too late.

When I owned a logger/cowboy/Indian/biker Saloon in my early 20s, there were a couple of women who were seriously impaired by their insecurities and accused me of trying to steal their BFs. They even went as far as to go crying to my mafia hitman looking dishwasher trying to get me fired. Loved getting chewed out by my gopher for "Making her cry." Yeah, I served drinks and chatted while taking his money. 

So even though we don't "see" it, doesn't mean it's not there. There is enough of it going around to call it Really Common. My friends and I have talked about it, and although we live our lives above reproach, some have shifted their jobs beyond the reach of insecure women. We can't fix them, we can only minimize the damage they inflict on others and ourselves. When certain things start happening in clients' lives in a certain pattern, I'll ask the questions. The stuff isn't as random as it appears.


My husband left me for another woman and I was glad. It ended all his other betrayals. It in no way means all men are cheating, emotionally stunted jerks. It means he is.

Just because some women are insecure and will pick up the phone and make complaints to bosses, agencies and spread nasty gossip in no way means al women do this.


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## Tommyice (Dec 5, 2010)

Laura based on the women who told you they started a smear campaign is where you formulated that that is how all women are? You see by throwing that generality out there as "Really Common", you're kinda guilty of the same thing. Badmouthing another (or in this case) many women. 

If this is how your "hamlet" operates, too bad you didn't do a better background check on the area before moving there. I can guarantee there more places that are NOT like that then are.

And I'm gonna need some "education" on how your dishwasher can get you fired when you owned the place.


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Not all women step out and not all men step out. I have plenty of friends that have been faithful. And I have seen plenty that have not been faithful... 


Thank ya all for the reminder of why I am planning on staying single for a very very long time.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

Tommyice said:


> Laura based on the women who told you they started a smear campaign is where you formulated that that is how all women are? You see by throwing that generality out there as "Really Common", you're kinda guilty of the same thing. Badmouthing another (or in this case) many women.
> 
> If this is how your "hamlet" operates, too bad you didn't do a better background check on the area before moving there. I can guarantee there more places that are NOT like that then are.
> 
> And I'm gonna need some "education" on how your dishwasher can get you fired when you owned the place.


 Again, it's a pattern of female behavior committed against other women they perceive as a threat to their security. It not just in *MY* hamlet but in all the places where women do not have financial independence from their men. Women speak openly about what happens if somebody threatens their kids. They're far worse and quiet about it when they think their financial and social status is threatened.

I've lived in numorous small towns in 6 western states. I've never lived urban or suburban. This is the most populated life has been for me.

No, my dishwasher couldn't fire me, but these silly little Drama Queens were quick to assume the middle-age male would be my boss, rather than I at 23 be his boss. They had a hard time dealing with that. Their less than average BFs were yanking their insecurity chains.

My friends and I know these passive-aggressive terrorists exist. Personally, I'd rather take on a pack of crazed wolves with a crowbar than find myself in the crosshairs of one of these shrews. I can deal, but I'd rather not have to.


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## ErikaMay (Feb 28, 2013)

FarmboyBill said:


> WhyNot ask the men in here. I bet most would tell you that there luck improved ALOT while/when they were married.
> I know mine did. I can remember being mad that, AFTER I married a gal cause she seemed interested and none others did, that I was flocked by gals who looked at me, at the least, and some few actually hit on me, and they, were way better looking than the one I had picked outa desperation. AND this was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back in the 60s


Probably because you treated them like you weren't seeking a relationship with them they found you attractive. Nothing like treating a woman like a human being and not a just a potential lay to make a guy attractive. (not saying that before you were drooling over all the women you met, but you may have unconsciously started treating them differently) Also, desperation is a total turn off...maybe your wife instilled some missing confidence in you that other women picked up on.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

What do you mean (I treated them)? I didnt treat them anyway/anyhow. I just started noticeing women checking me out, Smileing as I passed them, Saying hi, like I was visable. I drooled, ( AT THAT AGE), over women before I was married, I drooled over them after I was married. BUT, at the last, NOT where they could see me.
also
I have wide angle vision. I have done this many times. Have people hold up X amount of fingers, OR a certain card in a deck, and I look straight forward while they stand at my right or left , and keep slowly going behind me till i cant see them. I did it just now to see if I could still do it, as I havnt did the test in 20years or more. i can. I dont gawk at women cause ive never had to. Dont drool anymore either and havnt in 20yrs or more. Finally, After I was married, I didnt need to be desparite. Maybe you watched too many Bang Bang Theory


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## SimplerTimez (Jan 20, 2008)

FBB, I just had a visual of you testing yourself on this vision thing, by yourself, and literally cracked up laughing. Wide angle vision might come in handy with big hipped girls!

Thanks for making me laugh with that information 

~ST


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## ErikaMay (Feb 28, 2013)

FarmboyBill said:


> What do you mean (I treated them)? I didnt treat them anyway/anyhow. I just started noticeing women checking me out, Smileing as I passed them, Saying hi, like I was visable. I drooled, ( AT THAT AGE), over women before I was married, I drooled over them after I was married. BUT, at the last, NOT where they could see me.
> also
> I have wide angle vision. I have done this many times. Have people hold up X amount of fingers, OR a certain card in a deck, and I look straight forward while they stand at my right or left , and keep slowly going behind me till i cant see them. I did it just now to see if I could still do it, as I havnt did the test in 20years or more. i can. I dont gawk at women cause ive never had to. Dont drool anymore either and havnt in 20yrs or more. Finally, After I was married, I didnt need to be desparite. Maybe you watched too many Bang Bang Theory


I said that you weren't drooling over them and I meant no offense. You probably didn't notice a difference in yourself, but women could see something about you that made you seem more approachable. 

I have a good guy friend who was a late virgin, one day i noticed he was just more calm and comfortable and I was like, "dude, you did, didn't you?" "yyyuuuuupppp two days ago." He just carried himself differently. Oddly...he was more attractive. Same thing with other guys who are in a stable relationship...suddenly their demeanor changes. Guy I worked with changed when he girlfriend became pregnant and they were going to have a family: he just seemed different and more approachable. Its something imperceptible. A man feels more fulfilled in himself and he becomes more attractive.


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## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

ErikaMay said:


> Its something imperceptible. A man feels more *fulfilled in himself and he becomes more attractive*.


And this is EXACTLY why everyone preaches (but not one hardly ever listens) to simply be yourself...love what you have, live what you have..be you in everyway...enjoy your life and LET yourself be fulfilled...and then...eventually..you WILL find someone. Because we ALL exude this sort of relaxed sensuality when we are fulfilled...and that fulfillment isn't JUST about sex...it's about the happiness of our spirit.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

yeah, BUTT I agree with EKs idea more.

Because we all exude this sort of relaxed sensuality when we are fulled, AND that fulfillment isnt just about sex. Its about the happiness of our spirit. YEAH< BUT
FOR U S GUYS, We exude relaxed sensuality and happiness when we have had sex, Best as I remember it. When you consider many, if not most of us are doing heavy physically exhausting work, and other jobs require strainous thought process, along with wondering why women dont find us interesting, and worry that we may never intregue a woman enough to interest us, and thereby live/be without sex forever., keeps most of us from being relaxed, fulfilled, or happy


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## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

I disagree with you Bill. I believe men can feel relaxed, fulfilled and happy whether they are in a relationship or not, whether they are having sex or not. Sensuality is not just related to the having of sex. 

"The condition of being pleasing or fulfilling to the senses: "life can dazzle with its sensuality, its color"."

This is why people are in general attracted to or more attracted to people who give off an air of being happy, positivity, self confidence and in general being satisfied and happy with their life. For me personally, I can smile and be proud of someone I don't even know which also makes me feel good by just observing this dynamic of a truly happy individual...some of which have no special someone in their life.

Then there are those that pretend and you can sense the underlying negative misery. In my opinion this is unresolved issues within themselves that will never be "fixed" by getting into a relationship and I think this is also a contributing factor as to why relationships can fail.


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