# Child has days and nights mixed up , help please



## NancyinArkansas (Dec 13, 2002)

My daughter is looking like an old woman because her baby 16 months old is still sleeping all day and staying up all night. She goes to sleep at 6 in the morning and sleeps till 2 0r 3 in the day and that is all of it.She has done tis since she was a little baby . Her first daughter did the same. Do any of you have any new advice to try. This child is very hiper and is alreadty talking. My childern were all good sleepers ,so I dont know what to tell her. Thank you very much. Nancy


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## Pony (Jan 6, 2003)

Okay, I know this sounds goofy, but when you're tired and the baby is mixed up, I suppose you'll try anything.

My cousin Cathy used to swear this works, so it's not my idea. 

ANYway.

You take the baby and flip it over -- kind of like a somersault, head over heels. She said it somehow resets the internal clock. 

All I know is that one's perception of day/night is controlled by the superchiasmatic nucleus of the hypothalmus. (One of the few things I remember from undergrad...) If the baby flipping doesn't work, I would recommend that your DD try keeping the baby up a little longer, an hour or so at a time, until she is on a regular day/night schedule.

My DS was miserable for hours, too. Added to that, I did not know that you are supposed to let babies cry it out sometimes. It took until he was 18 months old before I was worn out enough to let him yell until he finally went to sleep when he was supposed to. (Took 3 nights, too.)

God bless your family with good sleep SOON!

Pony!


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## Cheryl in SD (Apr 22, 2005)

She is going to have to keep him up during the day for about a week. Lettimg him sleep from 6-2 is a mistake. Perhaps, since she is exhausted, you could volunteer to babysit for a while & help keep him awake. NO NAPS. Let him get used to being awake during daylight, then put him down at 8 at night for the night. Two or three days of no daytime naps (which will not be pretty!) should help to reset his sleep. At night put him down (or snuggle him to sleep) and create a sleeping atmosphere. Quiet, lights low or out, no rough housing before bed, start a couple of hours early and give him a warm bath, snuggle him up to read, sing a song or two & tuck him in. It is going to take time but it CAN be done.


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## marytx (Dec 4, 2002)

I agree with Cheryl, except I don't think one nap in the afternoon would hurt. That nap should not be more than an hour. Your daughter has gotten herself into this fix by letting her baby sleep all day. It's her job to teach the baby when it is time to sleep and when it is time to be up. It's best to start that job as soon as you bring them home from the hospital. 
At this point it certainly isn't going to be easy, but it won't be any easier the longer she waits to do it. Instead of putting baby back to bed in the morning, play, bathe, walk, just keep her awake.
At night there should be no play. If baby wakes up, check on her and put her back to bed, or rock her gently. Don't have lights or snacks or play.
mary


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## Danaus29 (Sep 12, 2005)

At 16 months I don't think it's an issue of days and nights being mixed up , it's a habit and those are the hours the child is used to sleeping. IMO, keeping the toddler awake all day and then letting them sleep at night is the best solution. 8 hours of sleep at a time is a pretty good stretch, she just needs to keep the child awake during the day so those 8 hours happen at night. A 1 hour nap in the early afternoon would be ok, or at least some quiet time, but no longer than an hour. Your dd will have a rough week but she will sleep better afterward.


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## lmnde (Sep 25, 2006)

Good advice - another thing - it sounds like the baby is still sleeping with her in the same room? Way past time to move him out! 

And as tough as it sounds - put him to sleep at what is the desired time at night, turn on a radio in his room somewhere between normal and quiet, and close the door almost all the way [that way you can peek in to check but will not have to jiggle the door handle to open the door - oil the hinges!]. 

It's alright to check for unusual noises [other than the holloring + screaming that will unquestioningly occur] - but don't go in unless you are concerned the baby will/has hurt himself. It may help to darken the room more - nothing but a nightlight on so you can see him from the gap in the door when you check w/out actually entering the room. And give him some toys in his crib so he can play if he wants to [ he will toss them the first few nights - don't give them back when you check on him - and he is old enough to understand at 16 mos if you tell him that, that they will not come back into bed on their own]. It also helps keeping baby contend in the crib if there are special toys for bed only, which stay in the bed. That also works good if he wakes up after a daytime nap, but it is not yet time to get up.

Also turn on the TV or stereo elsewhere in the house - this way it is more difficult for him to hear ppl walking around or checking on him and it will muffle the racket a bit [justin case she has neighbors], he is most likely to make. If nothing else and if mom can't take it - switch nights with her. Have her put him to sleep, and then leave to spend the night at your house, and you spend the night at the daughters. That way she can rest up a bit, and you are more likely to tough it out initially until she sees he will be fine and he gets used to sleeping at night.

It is also helpful to establish a good napping pattern during the day - an hour mid mornings and 2-3 in the afternoon, and then off to bed somewhere around 7-9 pm. When my own son was that age, we skipped the morning nap most days, but he went down in the afternoon for 2 hrs, and was ready to go to sleep for the night by 7pm. Working from home, this was perfect for me! I never felt the slightest twinge of guilt for putting him to bed early, as I needed the me time for myself and for work... I don't see any particular reason why young kids need to be out and about until 10 or 11 - this should be private time for the parents to be alone with each other.

JMO, Lmnde


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## EDDIE BUCK (Jul 17, 2005)

Speaking from a pawpaws point of view, when they won't sleep at night and you need your rest, bringum on over, we'll keepum up all day playing and they will sleep that night.So will me and Gran. I know this couple that started riding around at night to get the kids to sleep, they were putting more miles on the car getting them babies to sleep than they were driving to work.LOL


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## chickenmommy (Aug 24, 2004)

Eddies advice is the best yet. I completely agree. Take em to Nana and Papa's house and they will get it straight in no time!


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## NancyinArkansas (Dec 13, 2002)

Thank you so much. My neighbor had told me about the somersault but I thought she was nuts , but I guess it will be worth a try. I ll try to get her to let the baby come over and I ll keep her up. I know she will never let the baby cry it out.She dont want to hear her cry. Do you know what time of day to do the somersalt? Her other daughter never got straightened out untill she started pre schooll. Nancy


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## suburbanite (Jul 27, 2006)

Hm. Adopt out?


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## Maura (Jun 6, 2004)

A child who is hyperactive may be allergic to wheat. I know it sounds weird, but my niece is allergic to wheat so I learned this when she was a toddler.


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## Terri (May 10, 2002)

My nephew did this.

My sister started playing with him at 6 AM. This hyped him up so that he did not go right back to sleep, and eventually his clock was reset.

Alas, I do NOT know how LONG she had to do this before his clock was reset!!!!!!!!!


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## donsgal (May 2, 2005)

NancyinArkansas said:


> My daughter is looking like an old woman because her baby 16 months old is still sleeping all day and staying up all night. She goes to sleep at 6 in the morning and sleeps till 2 0r 3 in the day and that is all of it.She has done tis since she was a little baby . Her first daughter did the same. Do any of you have any new advice to try. This child is very hiper and is alreadty talking. My childern were all good sleepers ,so I dont know what to tell her. Thank you very much. Nancy


Oh dear. It sounds exactly like me. The day after my mother brought me home from the hospital I slept until 10 am!

Make sure that as soon as she can get the baby up in the morning to immediately put her in the sunlight. The sunlight will stop the production of seratonin which is what makes us sleepy (yawn). 

I have suffered all my life with Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome (DSPS) and I hope that the little girl does not have it because it makes life pretty miserable belive me. Have her mother read up on the treatments and see if any of them will work for her. Tough break.

donsgal


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## 3sunz (Aug 9, 2005)

NancyinArkansas said:


> Thank you so much. My neighbor had told me about the somersault but I thought she was nuts , but I guess it will be worth a try. I ll try to get her to let the baby come over and I ll keep her up. I know she will never let the baby cry it out.She dont want to hear her cry. Do you know what time of day to do the somersalt? Her other daughter never got straightened out untill she started pre schooll. Nancy



I have heard that this (somersalt) really works. I have not had personal experience with this, but my sister said that she tried it with her now 2 yo and it did help.


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## Wags (Jun 2, 2002)

donsgal said:


> Oh dear. It sounds exactly like me. The day after my mother brought me home from the hospital I slept until 10 am!
> 
> Make sure that as soon as she can get the baby up in the morning to immediately put her in the sunlight. The sunlight will stop the production of seratonin which is what makes us sleepy (yawn).
> 
> ...



Well if you were a normal baby you probably woke and slept around the clock when you first came home from the hospital. But then you would know that if you yourself actually had children.


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## Wags (Jun 2, 2002)

NancyinArkansas said:


> My daughter is looking like an old woman because her baby 16 months old is still sleeping all day and staying up all night. She goes to sleep at 6 in the morning and sleeps till 2 0r 3 in the day and that is all of it.She has done tis since she was a little baby . Her first daughter did the same. Do any of you have any new advice to try. This child is very hiper and is alreadty talking. My childern were all good sleepers ,so I dont know what to tell her. Thank you very much. Nancy


I have a 3 yr old and a 17 month old that sleep 10pm - 7am most nights. I'm night weaning my 17 month old right now so I can relate to her state of utter exhaustion. If you can help out for 4-5 days by keeping the baby up up during the day time your daughter could get some rest herself and be better able to handle the night time issues. 

As previously suggested a good bed-time routine will help, and it will be tough few days until babies internal clock get reset.


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## Elffriend (Mar 2, 2003)

An 8 hr stretch and no naps doesn't seem like enough sleep for a baby that age. Has she had her to a pediatrician to make sure there is nothing physically wrong?

I wouldn't advocate crying it out. I'd suggest Mom get the baby up an hour earlier each day, with the hope that she will tire sooner and go to bed earlier. Slowly moving her clock back might work.

I remember the days of sleepless nights. When my kids went from 2 naps to 1 and then again when they went from 1 to none they both had a few weeks of odd sleep schedules. This sounds like it has been going on much longer?


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## lmnde (Sep 25, 2006)

For you to take the baby home with yourself to train is neither helping your daughter nor the baby at all. Baby gets used to doing things differently at your house, and continues the old routine at home. It is better if mom puts the baby to sleep and you both switch care over night, so she can go elsewhere and catch up on her zzzz's. 

I have seen this countless times at my house while I provided in-home daycare for nearly 8 years while my own son was little. While after a few days here with us, I had no problems getting kids to take a nap or rest quietly in order to not disturb babies and toddlers that were napping, some of the parents could never get their kids to settle at home. Mondays were the worst - they were hyped up and sleep deprived after a weekend at home away from their routine, and fragile tempers and emotions flared because of that. 

Kids need a dependable routine - and babies and toddlers need more sleep than older children or adults. One of the reasons that baby is probably not sleeping at night is because she is allowed to oversleep during the morning and then is sleep deprived during the afternoon - and overwrought by the time night bed time comes around [kind of like on her 2. wind].

Babies, and by extension toddlers if they were taught as babies, can learn to fall asleep at preset times, regardless of where they are. In the middle of a parade, or at a restaurant if needs be. I so often see moms in stores with overtired babies that are cranky and overwrought - I have always found it easier to accomodate the baby's sleep schedule and schedule errands and outings around it rather than drag it throug it.

In regards to mom not being able to let the little one cry it out - we are not talking about a newborn baby here - we are talking a 16? month old? That is the time when you need to set some boundaries to preserve your sanity - there is an older child also that is probably also not getting the sleep and attention needed, if mom is always tired and worn out. It will be tough working it out, but the emotional anguish for 2-3 nights is well worth establishing a lifetime of solid sleep habits for the kids, and a chance for proper rest and recouperation for mom so she is being able to keep it together when it comes to other parenting challenges instead of being stressed out due to being worn out.

Perhaps it would be helpful for the young mom to read this thread - that way she can see that most other parents have had the same experiences to work through and she can pick and choose from the various suggestions made here. You are not a bad parent because you begin to set boundaries and expectations for your children - and the sooner you begin the better established gets the idea that they are expected to follow the family rules, the less likely they are to buck against them later [or at least not buck as hard, LOL]. It is certainly easier getting started when the kids are still young and malleable as to wait until it comes to bigger stuff as the kids get older and more likely to challenge you seriously, having had plenty of experience of doing so by then. Which eventually will come anyway - but hopefully by then you have done a great job establishing both respect and obedience, as well as a good base for them to fall back on, once they start thinking on their own. And that is what it really comes to when we raise our kids - teaching good morals, decent behavior, honesty and good work ethics. They will all rebel against it, some more than others depending on their personalities, but when all is said and done - they will fall back on what they have learned from you - by example and by deed - and that is what raising good kids is all about. 

Lmnde


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