# Why arn't more people willing to compromise?



## Shrek (May 1, 2002)

I read it here and hear it in real life. Folks describe the romantic Holy Grail they expect out of life but instead of pursuing it or accepting the fact that most everyone compromises to something close enough to perfect for their individual preferences , they just go on ranting at how they hate being alone, will never find their perfection or whatever.


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## Marshloft (Mar 24, 2008)

I think I get what you're saying.
Care to elaborate?
GH


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## whiskeylivewire (May 27, 2009)

There are some things I will compromise on and there are some things I have now learned I shouldn't compromise on because it makes me miserable to compromise. For instance, I've never been married to a man who loved to watch/play sports like I do. It's just one thing I really want, someone who will enjoy going to my kid's games and maybe play some softball and watch the Cardinals play and college football and basketball.

I'll compromise on other things but that one, nope. When I am ready I'll put myself available or I'll go looking for someone but right now I'm in a holding pattern and I intend to stay here for a good long while. No matter how alone I feel, I refuse to settle again.


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## Marshloft (Mar 24, 2008)

If this is all about compromise. Thats easy,,, and difficult to draw a line in the sand at the same time.
It seems after each bad relationship,, I tend to draw a new line,, mess up,, and draw a new one. Now if she wouldn't have had such a nice butt, I coulda held out.
Women have a way of making those lines in the sand begin to blur.
Gotta be honest here. There was a time I was a do not be unequaly yoked kinda guy. Still am to a degree. But,, the women I know that I could be equally yoked with,, I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole.
I'm still too much of a rebel,,, not your everyday cookie cutter christian.
I still like my long hair,,, I still enjoy my cigs and my beer.
And I've seen too many women that have a good head on their shoulders that are not christian. But would and could be an awesome woman in a relationship.
So,, have I comprimised? 
I'd say so.
Oh yeah,,, my boys are heavy into baseball,, I'm heavy into watching football,, nfl and some college.
Some might say my boys would be considered baggage. If thats the case,, then there is no compromise on that point.
GH


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

There are some points which just bear no compromise. As Marshloft indicated; his sons - no compromising there! I really don't think ALL of us are so stubborn as to not be able to give in - on minor points. There are a few things *I* won't compromise on. There MUST be "like", "respect", and "trust", or none of it is good. I am not perfect, so I don't seek out perfection; just "perfect for me".


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## Prismseed (Sep 14, 2009)

It depends on a person's 'minimum standards'. Those have to be met first to have the proper merit to warrant compromise.

Sounds shallow but it's like buying a piece of property. 'Hmmm no good graze land , hard to mow slopes... yaddayadda. But there is a solidly built barn, fenced in garden and a canning room.... might be worth it....'

More a question of, what personal needs must be met to consider compromise?


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## Guest (Sep 30, 2012)

I think it's insane to set up rules as to what you want in a relationship. How do you know you won't like it if you don't give it a fair trial? If you know exactly what you're looking for, then why don't you have it already? I see all these criteria to be a continuing rationalization for continuing failure. You fail and you say "she wasn't right for me". My thinking is that you have to put some effort in it. You just can't sit there imperiously trying to find the fault in the other. That's always going to fail. It's all going to be degrees of give and take. You ever see a couple where one does all the taking and the other does all the giving?? That's what you're setting up when you say I want exactly this, this, and this. My way or the highway. Then when you get your way, you're still not happy about it. Because it wasn't what you really needed, it was what you thought you wanted.


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Marshloft said:


> If this is all about compromise. Thats easy,,, and difficult to draw a line in the sand at the same time.
> It seems after each bad relationship,, I tend to draw a new line,, mess up,, and draw a new one. Now if she wouldn't have had such a nice butt, I coulda held out.
> Women have a way of making those lines in the sand begin to blur.
> Gotta be honest here. There was a time I was a do not be unequaly yoked kinda guy. Still am to a degree. But,, the women I know that I could be equally yoked with,, I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole.
> ...


A christian with long hair that smokes and drinks, now that is hawt.


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## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

Yup. It's all about the continued choices we make. If we choose to keep loving someone after the tummy butterflies are over, then we must choose to accept their hobbies and at least find something in them that we can agree with...whether we really enjoy them or not. After all, they are part of the person we chose to stay connected to.

For a while I was dating a man that was WAY into racing, nascar specifically and bird hunting. Now the hunting I can get with, learned a lot from him about bird hunting although I rarely went with because as much as he cared for me and cared for hunting, you could tell by the look on his face that his time hunting was HIS time. I completely respected that. When he did invite me along, I went with enthusiasm and we both had a great time. But, again, I could tell by the look on his face when I first mentioned wanting to learn to hunt bird, that he actually almost ran away! LOL But after I assured him that it was his decision to take me, when and if he wanted to and that I didn't freak out he decided to take me with a few times. I recognized this as a HUGE compromise on his part because he had NEVER taken any female hunting with him ever in his life. And he enjoyed it because I didn't push. Did I really want to be out there everyday with him hunting? Absolutely. But I also enjoyed staying home, doing my own thing and making sure his hot super was ready for when he came home chilled.

He also compromised for me in the way of going to clubs. Don't go to them much anymore but in my 20's dancing out was my thing. You could look at the man and tell he wasn't a dancer but he would take me and I would dance and eventually much to my surprise, he got over his insecurity and would dance with me. For the man that he is, this was a big deal Both of those compromises for him were a big deal.

And the sad part about the whole thing is, I never saw how much he really loved me through these compromises. I was young and ignorant. It would have been a very good marriage if I would not have turned him down. But, hindsight, as they say.

Over the years I've learned to really look at what is happening because of that. But in the same vein...it makes me see things that are there that the other person cannot as well..which has also lead to heartbreak, especially when I see them a couple years after breaking it off and they say they regret it....looking through their own hindsight and seeing what opportunity was lost just as I did.

*sigh*

That's the problem...whether it's indication of something good or bad....it's all there....but we cannot always see it.


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## Ardie/WI (May 10, 2002)

After my second marriage went south after two years, I literally made a list of what I wanted in a man. DH will tell you that I interviewed him well on our first few dates because I wasn't going to waste my time on a man who didn't "fit"!

I figured that since half of the population of the world were men, at least a few of them would!


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

We all have list of what we want in a companion, the problem is we dont know whats on each other's list. And you never know if asking someone a question or showing to much affection can set them off. Then before you even know what you did wrong "POOF" it's over. No explaination, no compromise, no talking about it period, some people it seems have no consicous and just throw people away like a piece of trash. They have no moral obligation to human "Feelings" and toy with them at will. The reality is they have to be of sound mind to even comprehend the damage another can do to another human being. And we wonder why we're ALL messed up.


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

Fowler said:


> We all have list of what we want in a companion, the problem is we dont know whats on each other's list. And you never know if asking someone a question or showing to much affection can set them off. Then before you even know what you did wrong "POOF" it's over. No explaination, no compromise, no talking about it period, some people it seems have no consicous and just throw people away like a piece of trash. They have no moral obligation to human "Feelings" and toy with them at will. The reality is they have to be of sound mind to even comprehend the damage another can do to another human being. And we wonder why we're ALL messed up.


That also covers friendships.

I wish I could "like" your comment 1000 times, Fowler.


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## Guest (Sep 30, 2012)

I'm thinking this list making may be the cause of a lot of missed opportunities. It even may be the indicator of a pattern of behavior that is predestined to fail. 

My thinking always has been you be you and I'll be me and we'll see how that works. Only times I ever was in a thing where a woman had a laundry list, they became enraged because I had no "secret desires" 

As an example, I do not want to sail the world over in a sail boat. If that's what I wanted, that's what I would be doing. What I want to do is live on a small place in North Carolina and grow my own food. I don't seek enlightenment. I don't harbor weird sexual desires. I'm exactly who I am. And quite satisfied with myself. On the other hand, the listmakers seemed quite unhappy with their lives, because they all wanted to be something that they weren't. I will never forget the shaved bear from 1998 or 99. She was not remotely like what she wanted to be like, I mean not one speck of resemblance. I saw her still on the singles sites when I was looking last year. Still living in some sort of dream. 

So, I think compromise is essential. A woman asked me how I would feel about having a couple children around, since I'm kind of happy I got mine all raised and on their own without too many problems. My answer was "You know what I like most about hearing a kid wail out Mah Muhh...!!!!! ?? The kid ain't yelling "Daadeeeeeee!!!"

Be yourself. Never mind making a list of "pre-demands" If y'all work together, you'll both know it, and both be willing to make compromises. If you don't work out, you'll both know that too. If you make your list, you're going to cut out 99% of your possibilities in advance. You know how a man feels when you've already gone through 99 applicants and hes next?? He knows for a fact you're wasting yours and his time and just don't put much effort into it.


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## Prismseed (Sep 14, 2009)

Perhaps it also requires one to be able to distinguish wants from needs.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Zong I agree and the only list in my head was to have someone that wanted to know the me from the inside and strong enough to see my weakness's and not take advantage of them. Someone to fully see who I am. 
And sometimes we as humans cannot see our faults or if there even is faults? When you open up to someone and they see your faults and your open-minded enough to acknowlegde and see the fault needs changing for the better, you appreciate the honesty and change that habit to better yourself along with the relationship. I obviously had too many faults that I didnt know about, such as; my jokes are suggestive unhappiness, wanting to be acknowledged in an loving way is considered demanding, showing to much affection is being too immature. I cant understand this way of thinking so to change it, would be to change who I am, and I just not willing to be a doormat.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

no since me talkin when Zs doin it so much better.


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## Guest (Sep 30, 2012)

OK, Fowler, let me make you a really good example. Does a man who is 200 pounds overweight have the right to criticize a woman for being 100 pounds overweight? Faults are what you make of them. Is drinking too many Mountain Dews(Apparently a huge problem among ST members!!) worse than smoking? 

He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone.... (See, I got Bible verses too!)

I know there will be a lot of disagreement but I'm not wrong on this, no matter what anybody says worked for them. You might make a list and you might find somebody that suits you, but, it won't be because of the list, it will be in spite of it. On the other hand, you'll cut out a whole lot of potential "the one's " with your list, is about all. 

As to the "perfect match". Too many harlequin romances. Nobody's perfect.


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## tambo (Mar 28, 2003)

I myself don't understand being too affectionate. That was the way it was in this last relationship we were polar opposites on this issue.I'm not clingy but I do like to hold hands,pet on who I'm with and be petted on. I don't mind a little PDA but I don't want to need to get a room either. If I'm into someone I am touchy feely.


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## Prismseed (Sep 14, 2009)

zong, to read your post it could almost be taken as accept anything.

So how do you distinguish between list and reasonable relationship structure/concept?


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

I think most are willing, but don't know how.....

It's easier than you think or not as easy as you thought.

Is this a compromising position to be in?


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## Guest (Sep 30, 2012)

Prismseed, it's not a matter of accepting anything, its a matter of pre-rejecting. As I see it anyway. For instance, suppose I had on my list, must be redheaded. That's going to knock out 90% of all potential mates, and the other 10%, if they have good sense, will realize "The only reason I'm still here is because I have red hair" Then, suppose I have age requirement, 56. That will knock out 90% of the rest of the list. So, by knocking out 90% twice in a row I'm down to only one in a hundred that I will even consider. And that's with only 2 requirements!! Well the third requirement being "must have common sense" that one left out of a hundred , if she had common sense, would be thinking "I sure don't want to spend another second with this arrogant fruitcake" So, with my list, I have assured myself of failure.

If I were to meet someone at the river fishing, or at the store, or on the internet, the first thing would be whether or not we got along. I wouldn't be saying "hey, before I start talking to you, are you 56, with read hair, and good sense?" Well, if I don't want to display my ignorance with an opening line like that, why would I want to display my ignorance later on?? I don't care to be around certain eating habits, but I know how to cook more than one thing at a time. So, I think there could be enough compromise to get by that. Yap dogs. Not my thing. But, its not set in concrete. I might not care to have a yap dog, but if I am enamored of someone with a yap dog, that yap dog will surely be jumping around on me. Because I'm not enough of an idiot to let a yap dog deprive me of a possible happiness.

PS, I just used redhead and 56 as examples. That is not on my list, since I don't have a list.


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## arcticow (Oct 8, 2006)

I think most are willing to accept another's compromise, but not so willing to meet it with their own... their standards being more important than the other's... and then, they are terrified of that awful word "settle". Probably some don't really think they have anything about them that needs compromise...


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

Fowler said:


> Zong I agree and the only list in my head was to have someone that wanted to know the me from the inside and strong enough to see my weakness's and not take advantage of them. Someone to fully see who I am.
> And sometimes we as humans cannot see our faults or if there even is faults? When you open up to someone and they see your faults and your open-minded enough to acknowlegde and see the fault needs changing for the better, you appreciate the honesty and change that habit to better yourself along with the relationship. I obviously had too many faults that I didnt know about, such as; my jokes are suggestive unhappiness, wanting to be acknowledged in an loving way is considered demanding, showing to much affection is being too immature. I cant understand this way of thinking so to change it, would be to change who I am, and I just not willing to be a doormat.



ok i gotta wade in here......these are not faults or problems.its you and theres nothing wrong with these things.these are normal wants and needs.the problem is what you were told was a line of bullcrap from a clueless other.so dont listen to what they said......they are a poor source for you to scrutinize your life or to be giving advice.you have your act together and are living a well balanced life as best i can see.your heads screwed on straight and your heels are square and your moving forward in life with the new farm.......


ok...i am going to stop now....


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

tambo said:


> I myself don't understand being too affectionate. That was the way it was in this last relationship we were polar opposites on this issue.I'm not clingy but I do like to hold hands,pet on who I'm with and be petted on. I don't mind a little PDA but I don't want to need to get a room either. If I'm into someone I am touchy feely.



same goes for you too


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## bruce2288 (Jul 10, 2009)

Boy, I don't have much of a list in fact had to even think. Reasonable intelligence (no air heads), independant not clingy, some physical attraction, trustworthy. that about covers it.


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

"Independent, not clingy" Does that mean no huggin' on the one you love? If so, I'd be totally lost!


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

bruce2288 said:


> Boy, I don't have much of a list in fact had to even think. Reasonable intelligence (no air heads), independant not clingy, some physical attraction, trustworthy. that about covers it.


You need a cat....LOL!!!


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## frogmammy (Dec 8, 2004)

List? I'm supposed to have a LIST?

Well, if I'm SUPPOSED to have one, I'm sure I do...somewhere.

Durn! Not in the file cabinets. Not in any file boxes. Checked the suitcases, not there. Not in the bookshelves anywhere....

Guess I'll need to make up another one....maybe next week, right after the Prognosticators Sometimes-Semi-Annual Ball....

Mon


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

frogmammy said:


> List? I'm supposed to have a LIST?
> 
> Well, if I'm SUPPOSED to have one, I'm sure I do...somewhere.
> 
> ...



Look in Recipes......


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Again I have to agree right on with Zs responses.


Like on here where practically anything written will be takin by somebody sooner than later other than the op intended it to be taken, and it remains for others to here that persons dirisive account of what they think so and so said, and thereby convert others onto that way of thinking, TOTALLY opposite of what the op may have origionally intended, People sometimes say and do things, mint for a minute or so AND NOT for a description of how they continually live their lives. One must be able to see something that might disturb them for a minute, and watch for that to see if that becomes an ongoing thing. If so, than youve got to decide how important that thing might be to you, OR your relationship. Pertaining to lists, I have lists. I like the way they work for me, and so will continue to keep it/them. FOR THOSE who do want to find someone, Id say, but not as well as Zs said it. dump the list, go with the flow, enjoy what there is to enjoy with somebody, but keep your mind and ears and eyes open.


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## Prismseed (Sep 14, 2009)

I feel there are reasonable lists and shallow lists.

A C-cup redhead is shallow.

A woman with morals, honor, and common decency is reasonable.

It gets into the whole philosophical babble of worth and value and all that.

In a nut shell, "How bad do you want it and what will you do to keep it." Covers both the partner and personal choices.


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

Fowler said:


> You need a cat....LOL!!!


naw....a dog...


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## Marshloft (Mar 24, 2008)

Prismseed said:


> I feel there are reasonable lists and shallow lists.
> 
> *A C-cup redhead is shallow.*
> 
> ...


 Did someone mention body parts and I missed it?
I do remember a redhead, but a C cup?
I may have mentioned "butt" somewhere,, don't think it was this thread tho.
GH


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

Darn it, I am a redhead with a D cup.


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Raven12 said:


> Darn it, I am a redhead with a D cup.


Yeah I know, darn it, I am a red head and not a D cup. Oh well.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

I'm a red head that's still in training size.


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

psssst.....your all perfect in case you didnt know it.


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Elk, ya have got to be one of the sweetest guys that I know of. I still can't figure out how come some girl hasn't come along and swept ya off of your feet. You deserve the best, ya know that.


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## JohnnyLee (Feb 13, 2011)

hmmm, maybe that is the problem around here, all us durn redheads! lol!


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

cindilu said:


> Elk, ya have got to be one of the sweetest guys that I know of. I still can't figure out how come some girl hasn't come along and swept ya off of your feet. You deserve the best, ya know that.


they cant lift me or drive a forklift...lol


:nana: :nana: :nana: :nana:


p.s. got my faults too.


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## Prismseed (Sep 14, 2009)

Marshloft said:


> Did someone mention body parts and I missed it?
> I do remember a redhead, but a C cup?
> I may have mentioned "butt" somewhere,, don't think it was this thread tho.
> GH


Haha. Nah I added that pinch myself while referencing zong's redhead comments.


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

I could easily be a redhead......the cups would be harder....


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

you get up each day and you choose to be with that person..daily,monthly,yearly.if it was easy everyone would do it.but all you need to do is take each day at a time and make a effort that tomorrow you will do the same.


i am sure it will take a special person to deal with me.i can see her coming home and there i stand in the garden in my jock strap chopping weeds with my hoe.she walks out there asks what ya doing..i say chopping weeds...she says..if your going to do this dont you at least think you should shave your back hair and look your best and say it with a straight face and walk away.

when you get that point you know you found the holy grail of relationships...lol


or i reach in the cookie jar at 2a.m. and she walks in to find me rolling around on the floor trying to get my hand out of the jar and says..if you let go of the cookies your hand will come out....roflmro.


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

oh brother i dont know if i posted in the right thread now....lol..i am lost in threadville


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## Guest (Sep 30, 2012)

Boy, you're prime vampire bait now. I can tell. Smells like barbecued possum.


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## frogmammy (Dec 8, 2004)

I would ask why you dressed up to chop weeds.

Mon


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

frogmammy said:


> I would ask why you dressed up to chop weeds.
> 
> Mon


you made me laugh and snort at the same time.....lol


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## oregon woodsmok (Dec 19, 2010)

Well. I've got a big list and no compromises accepted.

No to child molesters and wife beaters. No to alcoholics, dopers, and smokers. No to someone else's husband. No to men who refuse to wash their armpits, clothes, or brush their teeth. I've got no use for men who think the world is all about them or that have violent tempers. I can take a few social fabrications, but I don't have any time for people who will lie when the truth would serve them better and I don't want to be around thieves. No to cheaters; I'm not going to put up with it.

And, gosh, after all that, there aren't many left.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

elkhound said:


> you made me laugh and snort at the same time.....lol


ROTF thanks Mon for the laugh


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## Guest (Sep 30, 2012)

Ms Woodsmok, if you know guys like that, you need to find a new class of people to even associate with. If you presented a list like that to a normal man, he's going to think you've hung with a pretty rough crowd and probably be scared of you.


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

No more compromises for me; no more relationships past platonic friendship.

I'm really sick of men who pretend to be my friend then keep harping on how they're nothing like the guys I've known as they keep trying to worm their way into my knickers which makes me very uncomfortable. *If you are my true friend*, you respect, accept and understand my feelings. If you continually push me to leave my comfort zone, guess what? You are just like all the guys I've ever known who saw me as someone to conquer and mistreat; you were never my friend. BTW, I have a couple of good guy buds who accept my "faults" just fine because they see me as a human being.


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## sidepasser (May 10, 2002)

elkhound said:


> you get up each day and you choose to be with that person..daily,monthly,yearly.if it was easy everyone would do it.but all you need to do is take each day at a time and make a effort that tomorrow you will do the same.
> 
> 
> i am sure it will take a special person to deal with me.i can see her coming home and there i stand in the garden in my jock strap chopping weeds with my hoe.she walks out there asks what ya doing..i say chopping weeds...she says..if your going to do this dont you at least think you should shave your back hair and look your best and say it with a straight face and walk away.
> ...


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## Terri (May 10, 2002)

You know, I had a most excellent list about what I wanted in a spouse! Then I met Ron and I threw the list out the window. Chemistry. To make things even better, he was a good man as well!

I have never understood on-line dating, as it is impossible to tell if the attraction will be there or not. I think. It might work better if both have Skype??????


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

hard cups????. [II am guessing most guys in here will like them soft, Dosent hurt the face so much when they mush the face into them. lol


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

shrek, some people moan about being alone, and then there married people that moan about being married. There are some people who live very full lives alone and there are some people who are married with kids who are deathly lonely inside themselves.

Compromise is good on the small things but not on the big things. Marriage is a big thing, so is two people devoting their lives to each other.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

A few years back I got involved with a woman and we where totally different. She was rich, I was poor. I wanted to go live in the woods and poop in a 5 gallon bucket, she wanted to move to the boston burbs. She was jewish and kosher, I was spiritually lost and fond of bacon. I woke up early wanting to do stuff with the day, she woke up at 2 pm and wanted to stay in all the time.

We loved each other, we focused on what we had in common, we compromised, but eventually there came a point that we could no longer compromise because we were fundamentally too different.


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

sidepasser said:


> ...of course at my farm, you could weed the garden butt nekkid and no one but me and God could see you.


That's the kind of place I want! 

Well...not with you there though, that would be ewww.


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

roadless said:


> I could easily be a redhead......the cups would be harder....


Roadless, you could die your hair and I could lend you some of my cups, then it would work.


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## Guest (Oct 1, 2012)

I got a lot of coffee cups.


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## Guest (Oct 1, 2012)

Wait. What??


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

City Bound said:


> A few years back I got involved with a woman and we where totally different. She was rich, I was poor. I wanted to go live in the woods and poop in a 5 gallon bucket, she wanted to move to the boston burbs. She was jewish and kosher, I was spiritually lost and fond of bacon. I woke up early wanting to do stuff with the day, she woke up at 2 pm and wanted to stay in all the time.
> 
> We loved each other, we focused on what we had in common, we compromised, but eventually there came a point that we could no longer compromise because we were fundamentally too different.


I totally got it until you mentioned a 5 gallon poop bucket--I would not/will not go there--ever. Sheesh, man, use the woods! Take a pine cone with you--find some leaves--dig a hole. I've done that a few times and it works but a bucket? Nooooooo way! 

I love bacon, too.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

I must be too fun, loving, giving, and overly willing to please to the extent of being a freakin contortionist. I'm such a loser....LOL!!


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## Guest (Oct 1, 2012)

Any normal guy would like a freakin contortionist. Can you poke yourself in the side with your knee??


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

katydidagain said:


> I totally got it until you mentioned a 5 gallon poop bucket--I would not/will not go there--ever. Sheesh, man, use the woods! Take a pine cone with you--find some leaves--dig a hole. I've done that a few times and it works but a bucket? Nooooooo way!
> 
> I love bacon, too.


a pinecone....hahaha. Ouch!

A five gallon bucket for humanure. You compost your 1 and 2's.

katy, bacon loves you also.


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## Marshloft (Mar 24, 2008)

katydidagain said:


> I totally got it until you mentioned a 5 gallon poop bucket--I would not/will not go there--ever. Sheesh, man, use the woods! Take a pine cone with you--find some leaves--dig a hole. I've done that a few times and it works but a bucket? Nooooooo way!
> 
> I love bacon, too.


 Kinda my thinkin too,, a bucket,, really?
I've heard of corn shucks,, never pine cones.
Grape leaves work the best. Ask me,, I'll tell ya.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

katydidagain said:


> I totally got it until you mentioned a 5 gallon poop bucket--I would not/will not go there--ever. Sheesh, man, use the woods! Take a pine cone with you--find some leaves--dig a hole. I've done that a few times and it works but a bucket? Nooooooo way!
> 
> I love bacon, too.


LOL!! Bacon is copyrighted by WePig, please choose a differant meat product in flirting eneundoes, May I suggest, spam?....LOL!!!


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

Now don't go knocking a bucket. I think that's much better then worrying about poison ivy in uncomfortable spots.


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

Fowler said:


> LOL!! Bacon is copyrighted by WePig, please choose a differant meat product in flirting eneundoes, May I suggest, spam?....LOL!!!


Spam=5 gallon bucket IMO. Blech. 

BTW, I've never tried a pine cone but grape leaves should be stuffed with something yummy and not considered a possible TP replacement. Oak, Maple, Hickory, Ash but *never, never, never ever grape leaves.*


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## whiskeylivewire (May 27, 2009)

My list is a list that is pretty basic and it has nothing to do with the way a person looks...

I want a man who likes sports

I want a man who can deal with a strong woman

I want a man who understand why the Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, The Princess Bride and Star Wars are movie classics and should never be denegrated 

I want a man who knows how to be a man

I don't think these are too much to ask nor are they too far out there. I could have added that they have to dance and sing like Matthew Morrison but I realize that's a complete fantasy lol


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## littlejoe (Jan 17, 2007)

City Bound said:


> there came a point that we could no longer compromise because we were fundamentally too different.


Very, very true! Some things might not manifest itself at the beginning of a relationship, and some people will just ignore the red flags flying because they need to be loved.

I think someone with a sound mind might ask if the benifit is more than the detriment, cuz there will be some downsides to any relationship? A lot of them don't, however. They just jump in and maybe sign a contract or have a kid.

I see some have said their kids come first, and they should to an age. THere needs to be sense put into those words. I've seen some kids control a parent or parents, with their tantrums. As well as some adult aged kids control a parent. They might be to old to spank, but they need some tough love, and taught responsibilities before they get any older. THe older they are, the harder the lesson!

Compromise is well within my grasp of things I can/will do. But, I'm pretty happy with me! I'm satisfied with life, and been blessed many times over. If I compromise, it'll be for the good and not the bad!


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

zong said:


> Any normal guy would like a freakin contortionist. Can you poke yourself in the side with your knee??


I can shank myself in the eye with a toe does that count?


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

littlejoe said:


> Very, very true! Some things might not manifest itself at the beginning of a relationship, and some people will just ignore the red flags flying because they need to be loved.


That is true joe. One thing i recall about the relationship I mentioned was that in the start of it the differences were interesting and something to learn from and they did not seem too confining because we still had time and wiggle room as a couple. As time went on and became shorter, and the wiggle room became less, those differences were mighty hard to live with at times and at best something to tolerate. I started to project and then progress the arrangement she and I were in along the road into the future and there seemed no logical way to make the combo work without losing a great deal of what she and I loved about ourselves and our lives. We were headed for a cliff.

I think there is an old expression that summed it up well: "Don't compromise yourself out of existance."


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## Guest (Oct 1, 2012)

Make a video. I'll put it on youtube and get advertising revenue, then screw you out of your cut. That way, you'll have a good reason to be hating on me!


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## Guest (Oct 1, 2012)

2 words. Psycho killer.


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

zong said:


> 2 words. Psycho killer.


2 more words...beyond strange...

Wait for it...mav will show up shortly and add "his" twist...

Very odd.


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

uh oh...knicker lady is here....lol..or is that fig gurl....lol..i am bad


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

elkhound said:


> uh oh...knicker lady is here....lol..or is that fig gurl....lol..i am bad


I'm here than you know. BTW, these are my knickers--hands off! Fig gurl is resting for now...

Pretty hand boys are never bad. :happy2:


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

i see you sneaking around with my xray vision on here.you know i got a set of them secret spy glasses.and the kind of undies you really wear is safe with me....lol


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## Guest (Oct 1, 2012)

katydidagain said:


> 2 more words...beyond strange...
> 
> Wait for it...mav will show up shortly and add "his" twist...
> 
> Very odd.


I called mav with my phone set on "anonymous" And used my wicked witch of the west voice and said I was you and was really worried about him and insulted him severely. He'll get back to you, I expect. After all, I imagine everybody thinks as highly of your thinly veiled insinuations and insults as I do. 2 more words. Creepy, creepy.


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## littlejoe (Jan 17, 2007)

That's a heckuva way to respond to elkhound? I don't think he was responding to you?


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## Guest (Oct 1, 2012)

Cant you look up and see who made the insinuations?? Do I got to do everything in the most simplistic manner possible?? Ok, I will, I'll edit it to quote the person I was speaking to. You can read more than the last post, you know.


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

who you think responded badly joe....i was hacking katy....she has called me pretty hands for 6 years...she lusts them....lol


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

littlejoe said:


> That's a heckuva way to respond to elkhound? I don't think he was responding to you?


zongs grumbling with katy....i am staying clear...there might be claws and pies flying and broken wine bottles.......lol


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## littlejoe (Jan 17, 2007)

kinda thought so....


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## Shrek (May 1, 2002)

Marshloft said:


> I think I get what you're saying.
> Care to elaborate?
> GH


I know in my situation I value the personal freedom as much or more than the level of romantic interaction I require so my compromise to my perfect life was to return to the lifestyle that affords me both factors and I find it easier and more enjoyable than I did in my 20s because instead of 200 singles living and mingling almost 24/7 in an apartment complex ,with age I had my rural retreat for myself and initially a weekend apartment to entertain in.

Later as I found dating interests who shared the same value of their own retreats I found the compromise factor of no 24/7 exposure or marriage potential even easier to accept.

In reading some of the replies in this thread I see quite a few here not only understand what they are lacking in their expectations, they also answer their own question of what compromises will work for them and how best to take the steps to achieve the compromise that is best suited to them.


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## Marshloft (Mar 24, 2008)

Well CB,, 
Have you found that you can find almost all of us in a compromising position?


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## Guest (Oct 1, 2012)

It's not grumbling. Can you see her statement for anything other than misandrist antagonization? Why would she change her MO when it clearly evokes sympathy from confused women? And even more confused men? Is anyone at all fooled??


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## Marshloft (Mar 24, 2008)

Well Shrek,, your situation has always seemed to be a tad different than the norm.
We are about as opposite as any two men can possibly be.
I have always wanted a family. Having a family does present its own problems,, but the good parts far outway the negative parts.
You seem to be happy being with your gf on your terms and go home to sleep alone.
If you're a happy camper,, and your gf is a happy camper,, then it works for you and her.
Thats probably an over simplication of the differing relationship styles, but,, well,, I'm a simple person.
GH


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

elkhound said:


> you get up each day and you choose to be with that person..daily,monthly,yearly.if it was easy everyone would do it.but all you need to do is take each day at a time and make a effort that tomorrow you will do the same.
> 
> 
> i am sure it will take a special person to deal with me.i can see her coming home and there i stand in the garden in my jock strap chopping weeds with my hoe.she walks out there asks what ya doing..i say chopping weeds...she says..if your going to do this dont you at least think you should shave your back hair and look your best and say it with a straight face and walk away.
> ...


I'm wondering, "If you're gonna be out in the garden butt-nekkid, why even bother with a jockstrap?" OH. wait a minute! Mebbe you better not answer that. . . . . .


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

City Bound said:


> a pinecone....hahaha. Ouch!
> 
> A five gallon bucket for humanure. You compost your 1 and 2's.
> 
> katy, bacon loves you also.



I'm beginning to think 5 gallon is just 1 use here.....


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

Shrek said:


> I read it here and hear it in real life. Folks describe the romantic Holy Grail they *expect* out of life but instead of pursuing it or accepting the fact that most everyone compromises to something close enough to perfect for their individual preferences


Great Gin Blossom's song: "If you don't expect too much from me you might not be let down"_ Hey Jealousy_



> they just go on ranting at how they hate being alone, will never find their perfection or whatever.


One should ask themselves: "What are my non-negotiatibles"?
For example the tops on your "No Go" list is a smoker.
It does not mean that you think "less" of a person who smokes, just that it is something that you do not do, nor do you wish to put up with.
Another example "No Go". Illicit drug user.
Make a list of the 'non-negotiatibles'. 
After you are finished with the list, write down WHY they are non-negotiatibles". 
Example: "Illicit drug user" / Unpredictable, trust issues, too stressful, could potentially put my life in danger.

When getting to know someone, touch on your 'non-negotiatibles' in conversations. 
You will know in a couple of 'dates, encounters, etc' if this person is someone you would like to invest your time and company in.
That makes sense to me?


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Marshloft said:


> Well CB,,
> Have you found that you can find almost all of us in a compromising position?


life is built on compromise but there are compromises that we can live with and those we can not. Some compromises actually can make two people or a group o people happier then and more successul then they could be on their own.


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## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

elkhound said:


> you get up each day and you choose to be with that person..daily,monthly,yearly.if it was easy everyone would do it.but all you need to do is take each day at a time and make a effort that tomorrow you will do the same.
> 
> 
> i am sure it will take a special person to deal with me.i can see her coming home and there i stand in the garden in my jock strap chopping weeds with my hoe.she walks out there asks what ya doing..i say chopping weeds...she says..if your going to do this dont you at least think you should shave your back hair and look your best and say it with a straight face and walk away.
> ...


hm. I would say "I have some weeds that need whackin" and "cookie jar's over here"

with some appropriate gestures of course :nana:


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