# deschooling??



## hoggie (Feb 11, 2007)

People often talk about deschooling a child when they are first taken out of school.

Has anyone here deschooled a child?

How did it go? Did you do any lessons at all during that time? At what point did the child start to find their go button again?

Just looking for info 

hoggie


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## Tracy Rimmer (May 9, 2002)

Deschooling is a very important part of the process after having pulled a child from a classroom setting, and one that many, in their eagerness to get started, skip. Of all of the situations I've seen where a parent or guardian pulls a child to homeschool, then subsequently fails, NONE of them "deschooled". Some didn't school at all... but that's different.

Deschooling is like a decompression time. Rule of thumb is one month for every year the child was in the classroom -- i.e., if the child was in school for three years, then three months of deschooling is necessary. It is necessary to allow for a child to approach learning differently -- if there were problems in the classroom, it's likely that they will simply transfer their resistance and anger to you, as the new "teacher".

Despite popular belief, deschooling doesn't mean eight solid hours a day of doing whatever they like -- be it gaming or laying in bed or watching television. It's like a vacation, with expectations. The child should be encouraged to explore other interests during this time, and the parent needs to be on top of activities and learning opportunities which do NOT include school books. Trips to the zoo, self-guided reading, visiting with friends and family, volunteering, etc., should all be encouraged, but so should the child's free time.

Once the child has "decompressed", they'll indicate it by showing an interest in academics -- so long as the opportunities are there. Watching a documentary as a family might trigger their looking something up on the internet for more information on the subject. They might ask you about a book they'd like to read, or ask a question about a math or scientific concept -- every child indicates differently, and it's up to the parent to both provide a learning-rich environment and recognize the sign when it happens. As I said, a month per year of schooling is typical, but it can be much more -- or much less.


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## Sonshine (Jul 27, 2007)

I got custody of a 14 yr old. She had gone to public school all her life and when she came to me I gave her the option to go to public school or to be homeschooled. She opted for homeschooling. I was given some books from the Abeka curriculumn that fit her grade level. She did horrid. So, for the first year I basically had her do thematic units based on things that were interesting to her. She loved archeology and she wanted to be an investigator. So we studied ancient Egypt. She had to study about King Tut and write an investigative report on the cause of his death. She studied 3 different pyramids and had to build one to scale with sugar cubes, she also mummified a chicken. After that, she was more able to stay focused on the Abeka program and did wonderful.


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## HOTW (Jul 3, 2007)

My son had horrible issues when we pulled them from the schools. He had been bullied far woarse than we knew and hated any type of reading. I basically gave him 2 months off any structured learnign and we went to the library a lot and he began to bring hoem books on weaponry, so we started there. He now reads much more material and enjoys learning (mostly things he is interested in) and wants to take his GED so he can go forward rather than sit for another eyar of HS and apply to colleges. He wants to study computer forensics , he is totla cmputer geek and we support him in this. The only stupid issue I have is the fact that he can take his GED but the local progrma will not allow him to take the prep classes which are funded by my TAXES! Which I think is wrong, wrong wrong. So he is prepping theu online GED prep tests.


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## minifarmer (Mar 28, 2008)

We 'unschooled' when the kids came home, for a whole year! It was wonderful We spent hours at the Library every week. We did field trips, talked alot, taught each other interesting things, and spent lots of time outside. Toward the end of the year, We did 1 Weather Unit Study that I made up. The following year we did A World of Adventure which is a mega unit study. It was wonderful. The kids were in grades: 7, 3, 1. They never missed a beat. They placed right into their grades without an issue. I firmly believe that unschooling was the reason for our success.


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## pfaubush (Aug 17, 2009)

We jumped immediately into academics and I regret it. We have slowed down and began to approach it all a different way (a year later). We do lots of mini unit studies. We can turn baking a cake into an all afternoon learning adventure. This has helped my dyslexic daughter retain information, has helped teach my preschooler quite a bit, and my oldest daughter is starting to relax and not be sooooo uptight about what she might be doing wrong. They are starting to show the interest in diving back into their workbooks, now that they (and I) know that there is more to homeschooling that just that.


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

We 'de schooled' while they were in public school.
We talked to them EVERY day. We looked at their papers, their writings, the books they were reading, the garbage they sent home for the kid to read.
We read it with them.
We had them "think" about what they were reading......and then we provided the other side, facts and all.

So when we pulled them out of school, we didn't need to deprogram.
We also are a "school at home" family. 
The kids have text books, work books, they take quizzes and tests. They do lab experiements, and have lab books....

It is very much school at home.
Having said that, there are some subjects, they don't have to do.
Example, Literature. They don't do 'literature'. We don't see the need for it, so we don't waste our time on it.....

They work at their pace, so some subjects they blow through quick, and some takes more time. 
We have been home schooling for 8 years, and every year we tweak.


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## jamala (May 4, 2007)

I didn't "deschool" when I first took the kids from private school and I had to back up and do it a few weeks later when I found "school" was not working. We took the rest of the year off (March to May) and did unit studies on stuff they wanted to study. They were 4th grade and 6th grade. We are a "school at home" family too. I guess my years teaching in public school makes me feel more comfortable with a traditional setting for school at home. We have a classsroom, textbooks, workbooks, tests, quizes the whole package. We attend a homeschool co-op on Thursdays and I teach Science/biology there and love it and I get to encounter many different types of homeschoolers. I am "loosening" up and making school at home more fun, I realize now that I don't have to do all the quizes and tests if I know my kids are learning the lessons. We are doing some really fun unit studies and the kids are enjoying it. Like Laura zone5 said we pick and choose what we do. We don't do literature either because I feel my kids read good literature all the time so that is not important to me for them to do a "formal" class on Lit. You just have to base your decisions on each child, some need that down time and some don't.


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## Cashs Cowgirl (Jan 26, 2006)

We deschooled for a while (2-3 months) after taking my daughter out of school. She was only in first grade, but it was a good time for us to just relax and get used to a routine of sorts at home for a bit. Schooling is fit into our everyday life so for the kids, they were still learning even though it didn't feel like it. They were having fun at the zoo, aquarium, library, with their friends, baking in the kitchen, watching movies, etc. It was important that the activities we provided had some sort of educational merit. They loved it. We are bookish here and love to read. We don't 'do' a formal Literature subject, because they read constantly. Take a look at Sonlights Core 5 and see the books that they read in one week. Then they read others that they choose from the library each week. That is one of their favorite places to go.


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## hoggie (Feb 11, 2007)

Thank you all for the info 

I am glad I asked as I "thought" that deschooling was not doing "anything" but I can see the sense now in the unit studies and such. 

If, for example, you had a child who had done 6 years at school, the formula would recommend 6 months deschooling? So if at the end of 6 months upi didn't feel they were ready, how much longer would you carry on for - literally as long as it took? Or would you say "well, time to start in on something"

The same question if the child appeared ready after only 1 or 2 months? Would you start them back in - or wait out the 6 months with the other activities?

Many thanks

hoggie


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

hoggie said:


> Thank you all for the info
> 
> I am glad I asked as I "thought" that deschooling was not doing "anything" but I can see the sense now in the unit studies and such.
> 
> ...


I personally would not follow someone else's formula. 
Each child is different.
For my 3, it was better for them to stay in their 'routine'. We had our normal summer, and we began schooling in the fall. 
If I had "unschooled" them for the prescribed time......that would have been 6months for my oldest, 5 months for my middle, and 3 months for my youngest. The oldest would have went insane, as she is very academically competitive. The middle would have gotten into trouble out of bordem. And the baby, well, she got 3 months off......it was called 'summer'.

Again, for us, because we deprogrammed every single day, we didn't need to do a complete system flush. They had a pretty firm grip when we started home schooling.

But every child is different, and they don't all fit into a particular 'books' mold.....Just because a books says "do this" doesn't mean it is the right thing for your child.


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## Otter (Jan 15, 2008)

Hoggie, I think the answer to your personal question is this;
It's about stress. Most of us take our children out of school because it's not working for them and often we don't realize just how much it is not working until we get them home.

When I brought my daughter home and we did work sheets, she would be stressed and frustrated. Not because of the worksheet itself - but because of the associations. She associated learning and reading and school and failure and worksheets and stress all into one giant Lump of Unhappiness.

Deschooling was about reminding her that she loves learning and that these things are good. So we just dropped it for a while.
She thought that we didn't do school at all - but she learned a lot.
We read, we gardened, we did math in the kitchen, we built things together, she built things on her own, we took long walks and studied all the things around us and the way they change, we raised tadpoles, we learned all about anatomy when we butchered rabbits, she helped me with everything I did, she learned about math when we went grocery shopping, we watched and discussed history films...
..and on, and on...

And she remembered that she _loved_ learning and that reading is a wonderful thing and worksheets are the easy part and tests are only there to show you what you need to study more and nothing to get hung up on (lol, still working on that last one a bit)

And it took as long as it took.
And, really, so long as I have taught her _how to learn_ and that learning is an end to itself - she will learn everything that she needs to learn.

 DH was foaming at the mouth because he thought that homeschooling _had to be_ school-at-home because after all she had had hours of bookwork and worksheets and tests before and that was how he went through school and that's just the Way It's Done or they grow up ignorant.
But when he saw how much she was actually learning and mastering concepts and how quickly and easily she "caught up" on bookwork when we re-introduced it - he was sold.


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## Tawnya (Jan 27, 2011)

Due to trouble with my mom who was helping us for a couple of years (I am divorced) we ended up having to "deschool" last spring, although we homeschool and have since oldest was in K. The trouble? Whenever they had trouble with a subject they were constantly told they couldn't do it, never would, were stupid, among other things. :flame: I didn't realize all that was happening - it didn't happen when I was home - and the kids were afraid to say anything because they paid for it the next day. When I did learn of it, mom was "kindly" told to leave (there ended up being other issues as well).

Anyway, we ended up putting all textbooks up and just having fun. We took trips to local zoos, the nature center and library. We took walks and bike rides. We had cooking "classes" ie. they helped prepare meals, baked, etc. We were still learning, but just didn't use traditional methods. Last March we acquired an icubator and hatched several dozen chicken eggs. We got turkeys, ducks and rabbits. The kids read up on their care and learned what they needed. When a subject caught their eye we got online or hit the library and checked out all the books we could. We had so much fun doing those things that we just couldn't "quit" when the school year ended - we contiued all summer! :grin:

We read tons of books, watch movies, and do a lot of hands on things. We still take lots of trips to local zoos, the nature center and, of course, the library. In fact we still do many of the things we did while "deschooling." The result? I now have 3 kids that really enjoy school and have found a new love of learning. Will we ever return to the "traditional" way of doing things? I don't know, only time will tell. 

I still have one, ds 9, who struggles with reading. He is improving, but it will take time. He can read - quite well in fact. He loves to get books at the library and will spend hours "looking" - but he also is reading. He loves to come tell me about some "cool" thing he just learned. But until the last couple of months he would always say he "saw" it in the book, never that he "read" it. If your were to ask him why, he would tell you because "I can't read!" :awh: He still struggles with the "can't do it, never will, I'm stupid, etc." For him it is not the act of reading that he struggles with, it is the psycological aspect - he didn't "believe" that he could. More and more he is catching himself and saying "I CAN READ!" :banana02: :happy:

And that makes all the struggles over the last year worth it! :happy:


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

Tawnya said:


> Due to trouble with my mom who was helping us for a couple of years (I am divorced) we ended up having to "deschool" last spring, although we homeschool and have since oldest was in K. The trouble? Whenever they had trouble with a subject they were constantly told they couldn't do it, never would, were stupid, among other things. :flame: I didn't realize all that was happening - it didn't happen when I was home - and the kids were afraid to say anything because they paid for it the next day. When I did learn of it, mom was "kindly" told to leave (there ended up being other issues as well).
> 
> Anyway, we ended up putting all textbooks up and just having fun. We took trips to local zoos, the nature center and library. We took walks and bike rides. We had cooking "classes" ie. they helped prepare meals, baked, etc. We were still learning, but just didn't use traditional methods. Last March we acquired an icubator and hatched several dozen chicken eggs. We got turkeys, ducks and rabbits. The kids read up on their care and learned what they needed. When a subject caught their eye we got online or hit the library and checked out all the books we could. We had so much fun doing those things that we just couldn't "quit" when the school year ended - we contiued all summer! :grin:
> 
> ...


Good Job Momma!! You totally did the right thing!!!


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## chickenista (Mar 24, 2007)

We de-schooled for the whole month of Dec. when we pulled DS out and then eased into school. We started with documentaries and science shows and books on subjects that he was interested in. Then we eased into math, reading etc..
It was a learning process for both of us. 
I discovered that he is a kinetic learner. That means he needs to walk in a circle if he is really into a subject and if his mind is really churning out ideas. He also cannot study for a spelling test unless he is walking back and forth and spelling out loud. 
So.. I allow him that freedom. I think he is going to burn a hole in the floor somedays when he is really going on an idea.
I learned that he does better in a conversation type of teaching with an exchange of ideas or when I turn him loose on the computer with a research project to do on his own and a stack of pre-opened websites he can peruse.
There were issues of 'I'm a bad kid' and 'I'm stupid' etc.. and I would back off a talk him through it etc.. (carpy darn bad teacher woman) As time goes by he gets more and more confident and I really don't hear the negatives anymore.

Yep.. you need time to let the baggage go and reawaken the creativity and interest in exploring and learning. And the slow start with no pre-conceived ideas about how homeschooling will work for you as a team helps a lot too.


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## Sonshine (Jul 27, 2007)

hoggie said:


> Thank you all for the info
> 
> I am glad I asked as I "thought" that deschooling was not doing "anything" but I can see the sense now in the unit studies and such.
> 
> ...


EAch child is different. Unschooling or deschooling, however you want to look at it, is the only way some people homeschool. It goes on the premise that kids have a basic desire to learn, since they are naturally curious. The parents go with it and when they show an interest in something, they plan out a simple curriculumn that enhances what they are already learning. Since I had my back surgery, DS's homeschooling went basically to unschooling for a few months. I was really surprised at what happened. My DS is severly language delayed. He hates to read because of it. I have all kinds of books available for him, but he's never really shown an interest, until my surgery. One day while laying on the couch (I was pretty much bed ridden for a while) he went to his bookshelve and picked up "The Diary of a Wimpy Kid", and began reading it. I was shocked, because when I tried to get him to read it during our regular homeschooling sessions it was always a battle.


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## AgoristDHorton (Mar 27, 2011)

I'm a 17 year old guy who has been stuck going through Government school and will graduate next year...I really wish I homeschooled...preferably through unschooling since I am a really smart kid, and am already taking college classes in my spare time, and I quite frankly feel that I would be so much better off if I had been able to go at my own pace instead of the pace of the slowest student in each class. :/ The only good thing I"ve gotten out of government schooling is my friends, who I wouldn't have met otherwise...probably. So to all of you out there who homeschool your kids, in spite of all of the criticism of "What about socialization" and "You can't teach kids, you need a degree to do that" et cetera ad nauseam: Good job!


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## Our Little Farm (Apr 26, 2010)

I think the best thing to do is what works for your child.

My experience was to de-school and just enjoy life around you, museums, library and so on until the childs love for learning comes back. 

As said above, school can make a child literally hate a subject. It takes time to make them realize that learning can be fun!

If a child was ready to tackle sit down curriculum work after a month of de-schooling than go for it! If however it takes longer than a month per year, then take longer if need be. 

Each child is different. Listen and watch. You will know when the time is right.

Are you pulling your child from school Hoggie?


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## Pam6 (Apr 9, 2009)

They finished the year in public school and then we took the summer off. When school started back up we started in with homeschooling. First we did an online school and then we later switched to traditional homeschooling.


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