# A Big Disappointment



## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

Yeah, yeah, I know better now. Some years ago, I had a profile up on Survivalist Singles. Came across a self-described survivalist who seemed to be going in the same direction that I was heading. After a few messages, we decided to get together. Wow! I know much better than that now!

To begin with, he was fond of saying, "I have no feminine side." I (mistakenly) took that to mean he was a manly man, one I could depend on. Over time, I realized that what he meant was that he was selfish, inconsiderate, and concerned only with his own needs.

One time, he jumped on my tractor with bush hog in tow, went to mow an overgrown pasture, and tore down a fence! - Didn't even attempt to fix it!

One day, I was struggling with a buck that had escaped from the buck pen. There I was, grasping the buck by one horn, dragging him back to the buck pen, with him resisting with all of his considerable might. Here comes Sam, ambling down the hill, toting *MY *.22 Marlin, after an unsuccessful squirrel hunt. You KNOW he had to see me struggling with that buck, but did he offer to help? NO! I had to shout, "Sam! Please help me get this buck back to the buck pen!!"

There was another time that he burst through the door, and breathlessly asked me to help him go get a deer out of the meadow out back. I asked him, "Did you field dress it?" He looked at me blankly and asked, "What's 'field dress' mean?" I asked, "Did you slit open its belly and pull the guts out?" He looked horrified. I said, "Let's go!" I grabbed a knife and a 5-gallon bucket, and we jumped in the little truck, and went out to the meadow. I slit the belly and pulled out the guts, saving the liver, heart, and kidneys for the Livestock Guardian Dogs. Poor Sam looked green. Survivalist, my butt!

Old Sam would spend 15 to 18 hours a day online, (on my dime, I might add), and did not assist with any of the daily chores.

I had let him park his rig on my property - no charge. It was a semi tractor with the lic. plate obscured. That led me to wonder if he were hiding out from the law.

Finally, one day, I'd had enough of Sam, and told him to leave. But his truck would not start! (He hadn't started it in over a year!) So, he went to looking at youtube videos to figure out why the truck wouldn't start. This went on for days, and I confronted him. He yelled, with a really ugly, angry face, "I'm doing the best that I can!" I replied that his best wasn't good enough, as he was still there.

Finally, I called a semi repair company, and told Sam they were on their way. HE GOT HIS TRUCK STARTED!


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## Clem (Apr 12, 2016)

Oddly enough, I just signed up and cruised POF. I see a lot of profiles, but I know that what they say and what they do are 2 separate things. But, being real, I ain't going anywhere, don't care to go out, like being home, and so on. I have absolutely nothing in common with anybody! So, I figure that if I ever saw anybody that suited me, I'd just go on and tell them I'm no count and save us both a lot of grief!


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

Clem said:


> Oddly enough, I just signed up and cruised POF. I see a lot of profiles, but I know that what they say and what they do are 2 separate things. But, being real, I ain't going anywhere, don't care to go out, like being home, and so on. I have absolutely nothing in common with anybody! So, I figure that if I ever saw anybody that suited me, I'd just go on and tell them I'm no count and save us both a lot of grief!


I don't blame you for being cautious! It's a really scary world out there right now; all kinds of mis-representations and lies! Even lies of omission.


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## Clem (Apr 12, 2016)

Not being cautious, I just don't have anything to offer that anybody around here wants.


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

Clem said:


> Not being cautious, I just don't have anything to offer that anybody around here wants.


Awww! I truly doubt that, Clem!


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

yeah I doubt that too Clem! but I kwym. I'm becoming more of an hermit like my son except for driving back and forth to my bit of land in the country. I got lots to offer the right person I guess but they're not around here. as I've stated here before all I come across is guys who want to travel to warm climates.lay on the beach and whatnot.(not that theres anything wrong with that if you like it) any more heat than I had last summer and i'll be dead~Georgia


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## jerry arnold (Dec 1, 2018)

nehimama said:


> Yeah, yeah, I know better now. Some years ago, I had a profile up on Survivalist Singles. Came across a self-described survivalist who seemed to be going in the same direction that I was heading. After a few messages, we decided to get together. Wow! I know much better than that now!
> 
> To begin with, he was fond of saying, "I have no feminine side." I (mistakenly) took that to mean he was a manly man, one I could depend on. Over time, I realized that what he meant was that he was selfish, inconsiderate, and concerned only with his own needs.
> 
> ...


bad guys always mess things for the good guys...i see women all the time, bitter as hell...no trust left in their heart...and 25 foot wall around themselves...even saying hi to them in a friendly way gets a sneer...


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## jerry arnold (Dec 1, 2018)

nehimama said:


> Awww! I truly doubt that, Clem!


me2


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## jerry arnold (Dec 1, 2018)

newfieannie said:


> yeah I doubt that too Clem! but I kwym. I'm becoming more of an hermit like my son except for driving back and forth to my bit of land in the country. I got lots to offer the right person I guess but they're not around here. as I've stated here before all I come across is guys who want to travel to warm climates.lay on the beach and whatnot.(not that theres anything wrong with that if you like it) any more heat than I had last summer and i'll be dead~Georgia


i'm looking forward to my spot in the country...i've been in several relationships...thought i got it right the last time...alas, she's been married to her wife for several years...happier than i've ever seen her...we're besties but not lovers...i get myself in trouble by confusing lust with love...IT ain't quit working; i just don't wanna use IT anymore...women are either too young, not interested, gold brickers, or are taken...however, if The One is lurking in the corner somewhere...


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## GTX63 (Dec 13, 2016)

Nehi, I'd say from reading your accounts of "Old Sam" that he was very much as he described, a survivalist. 
Just more of the parasitic kind.
FWIW, my mother had a few of those fleas after my dad was killed.


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## Shrek (May 1, 2002)

All anyone has to remember are two well known adages.

That which doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.


Don't sweat the small stuff.

Regardless how big the pile of rocks in your way, the pile is made of smaller ones and if its one big rock simply take a small detour around it. Whatever lays in your path, think it out down to small stuff and don't sweat about it and keep on going and enjoy your life's trip.

Most folks find that their life's trip brings them in a circle almost back to their roots and where they started as their strongest traits always tend to steer them to their strength dominate trait side as the years of the trip pass by. You may never be able to go home again, but don't be surprised if the rough circle you travel drops you close to it.


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

I must say I haven't come across any takers. most of the guys I know are the ones that my first husband and I knew. retired and gave up gardening .have a bit of money and want to live what they call the good life. travel. have an apartment here. come back for a month. take off again. not for me! I don't know how I'd get there anyway because I wont fly.

my friend just got back from Portugal. she wants me to move into this complex with her where a unit became available. what the heck would I do there? I dont play bingo or cards or dance etc. I'd be around the bend in a month and it would bore me to death. to each his own though. ~Georgia


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

I don't know how I got a double post. I tried to get rid of it but can't


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

jerry arnold said:


> bad guys always mess things for the good guys...i see women all the time, bitter as hell...no trust left in their heart...and 25 foot wall around themselves...even saying hi to them in a friendly way gets a sneer...


How sad!


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

nehimama said:


> Finally, one day, I'd had enough of Sam, and told him to leave. But his truck would not start! (He hadn't started it in over a year!) So, he went to looking at youtube videos to figure out why the truck wouldn't start. This went on for days, and I confronted him. He yelled, with a really ugly, angry face, "I'm doing the best that I can!" I replied that his best wasn't good enough, as he was still there.
> 
> Finally, I called a semi repair company, and told Sam they were on their way. HE GOT HIS TRUCK STARTED!


 Wait wait ! It took you over a year to dump this guy ?


To be fair I’d hate for my wife to write a story about all my worst moments in the last ten years!


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

AmericanStand said:


> Wait wait ! It took you over a year to dump this guy ?
> 
> 
> To be fair I’d hate for my wife to write a story about all my worst moments in the last ten years!


He got lots of chances; a year's worth. 

Old Sam isn't here to defend himself; you have a point.


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## Oxankle (Jun 20, 2003)

LOL, Georgia; that is a triple post.
I'd be surprised, Georgia, if you l asted long on the market in any place were there were men available. You cannot blame old men for wanting to live someplace where the frost does not chill their bones.


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## Terri (May 10, 2002)

newfieannie said:


> I don't know how I got a double post. I tried to get rid of it but can't


I removed it for you


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

I didn't see any triple post only double .I better get my eyes checked

now that you mention it chuck. no I dont have a problem that way. never did. just came from a community brunch where I could easily have ended up seeing a couple of them. not at the same time but ykwim. I can't tell just how but a woman knows when a man is interested. it doesn;t take long though to know it's not for me. an hour or so talking

not that I'm picky or anything . they do a lot of travelling also and sooner or later they'd be pestering me to neglect my gardens and do the same thing. it's been my experience that they think women would jump at the chance. and no they weren't old coots. I know some of you refer to men here in their 60's as old coots. I just call that prime of life. ~Georgia


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## Oxankle (Jun 20, 2003)

Georgia; You are correct, men at sixty are still near prime. In fact I was still a pretty good horse in my late seventies and early eighties, but it has been a slow downhill slide since then---I can tell that my strength is waning.

Even so, I go with the wife to sing at nursing homes with her "Ukelele band" friends and I see people there much younger than we are.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

If Trump had a wall like most women put around themselves, nearly NOBODY would get in LOL


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## BostonLesley (Nov 14, 2017)

Clem said:


> Not being cautious, I just don't have anything to offer that anybody around here wants.


You have a great deal to offer..I used to read your posts with fascination at your knowledge of all things homesteading..that reminds me..did you ever finish that masonry heating set-up for your green house? There are women who are not into inanimate objects to be collected..they are just kind of hard to find. I bet that if you gave "how to graft fruit trees" classes, some gal would show up and find YOU....


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Thar ya go. Do it and tell the rest of us how it works.


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## Evons hubby (Oct 3, 2005)

FarmboyBill said:


> If Trump had a wall like most women put around themselves, nearly NOBODY would get in LOL


Oddly enough Bill, there are doors through that wall, a feller just needs to know which buttons to push to open the door.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Yeah, but its wimmins that put the buttons in place, and they put them where they know no man will find them lol


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## Evons hubby (Oct 3, 2005)

FarmboyBill said:


> Yeah, but its wimmins that put the buttons in place, and they put them where they know no man will find them lol


Oh, they are easily found. A bit of kindness will guide you to them, add in some sincerity and genuine caring...... Open sesame! Just be forewarned.... Once inside there is a lot of maintanence required on your part. They can be terribly forgetful and need constant reminders of your love, this not to be mistaken for forgetfulness of any error you might make. That part of their memory is like a steel trap!


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## Oxankle (Jun 20, 2003)

For heaven's sake, choose one who is low maintenance. A high maintenance woman will drive you nuts. They are the worse kind of spoiled brat. Thankfully they are not that numerous. Probably more men who were mama's pet and expect a wife to continue the babying. That is one thing about big families; not too many spoiled brats come out of them unless they are fifteen year surprises.


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

oh yeah for sure, stay away from the mama's boys! they stay the same no matter how old they get. if not worse! my friend married one of those. he had already lost a wife who treated him same as his mother. my friend didn't know it until she married him. they put on their best behavior until they get the ring on your finger. she was expected to take up where the first wife left off. he had the wrong woman though. never lasted any time. course I waited on mine hand and foot but that's when they were sick. quite different.~Georgia


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## Shrek (May 1, 2002)

Just a moderator notice to let y'all know that Terri and I have a few replies on this thread in our mod review queue and are in our normal mod review process.

If you notice your replies not on this thread, please be patient as we complete our review and any required moderation.


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## Alice In TX/MO (May 10, 2002)

Back to disappointments.....

....and I know there is one person who will criticize me for posting family stuff....

I just learned that one daughter in law is furious that the MONETARY VALUE of gifts given to the grandchildren are not equal.

One grandchild is almost 15, was abandoned by his bio mom, and is rebuilding an old truck. The second grand child is 9 and has a brain injury. Third and fourth (from the complainer) are four and six. 

I help pay tuition for schooling for the 9 year old. 

I put generous equal amounts in college funds for all four. 

I am buying some truck parts. I bought the abandoned child a computer for school work.

I am disappointed in this daughter-in-law.


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

my god I'm so glad I don't have to put up with stuff like that. I just got my boy and he was never married. I wouldn't stand for it anyway. but that's just me. ~Georgia


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## Bob M. (Nov 5, 2018)

Shrek said:


> Just a moderator notice to let y'all know that Terri and I have a few replies on this thread in our mod review queue and are in our normal mod review process.
> 
> If you notice your replies not on this thread, please be patient as we complete our review and any required moderation.


Aww...I was just agreeing with him..... Are we required to be sensitive now, and contradict someone when they claim they have nothing no one wants? A guys allowed to not play by others tune and choose not to be what others think they should be...on their own. I gave him kudo's for it.


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## Shrek (May 1, 2002)

Terri and I have completed the mod review and performed the moderations that we agreed were appropriate to keep this thread within the HT interaction limits and site attitude of "Be Nice".


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

Shrek said:


> Just a moderator notice to let y'all know that Terri and I have a few replies on this thread in our mod review queue and are in our normal mod review process.
> 
> If you notice your replies not on this thread, please be patient as we complete our review and any required moderation.


Were there really any objectionable posts? I didn't see anything offensive.


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## Shrek (May 1, 2002)

nehimama,

Yes we had a few replies that crossed site limits but Terri and I were both on site when we were notified and we were lucky that we each moved different replies to our moderation queue instead of us being stalled out by the system if we both tried to move the same reply at the same time as sometimes happens as we are doing mod reads of the board.

As it was, she and I were lucky enough to moderate different over limit replies to keep the thread up and continuing with normal conversational flow as we began our moderation process.


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## [email protected] (Sep 16, 2009)

Alice, your problem is easily fixed.
just notify the dil that you have decided to quit giving gifts.
I wonder, does the dil give you great gifts. say , the same value as she gives to her mother ?


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## Alice In TX/MO (May 10, 2002)

Yeah. You are close to one of the solutions that I am looking at. 

I used to enjoy Christmas and birthdays. A new plan will be in place before the next event.


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## Bob M. (Nov 5, 2018)

I'd say just be yourself and do what you wish to do how you wish to do it. a gift is exactly that. it is a gift. if it is chosen not to be received in the spirit it was meant when sent, then the receiver (or in this case someone else) has no business complaining about anything imo, anymore than anyone has a reason to complain about a bonus. it's a bonus/gift, there are no requirements. You should let her know she hurt your feelings over this, maybe she will develop more as a person, and if she comes back with not caring she hurt your feelings, then you know absolutely who she is, and all's fair. If She doesn't care about you, then you clearly do not have to care about how she feels back. The kids are probably at least semi grateful regardless, at least as much as kids do. The dollar amount of gifts is never relevant. for instance buying X at a store for full price, is the same as buying it as X on sale. Unfortunately her not caring if you were hurt is likely how the situation will develop, as people tend to not learn from such things at all but just make excuses, and you can't change people. but you can just worry about being you. If you are ok with whatever you do, then you are ok.

I bought my one nephew, who I adopted and raised a car for instance. it was mentioned by other nieces and nephews about them not getting one. tough tit mouse. I was the kids parent/legal guardian, not theirs. I told them outright, it isn't that if I could of bought everyone a car I would of, because I could of and didn't. it was they had parents to do that for them and I chose not to. boohoo. I'm a conservative, I do not subscribe to "others getting something so it makes it worse for me" mentality. Life isn't equal in any way shape or form, nor will it ever be.


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## whiterock (Mar 26, 2003)

Youngest grand child was the only one i gave anything to this year. She lives in Nebraska and I only see her twice a year. The others are close by and I see them and do things with them regularly. Didn't hear any complaints from anyone.


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## frogmammy (Dec 8, 2004)

Alice, it sounds as if your daughter in law is confusing apples and oranges. And you might tell her that, as she apparently doesn't realize that the 4 year old MIGHT not fully appreciate truck parts or a new computer. As the younger children age, their wants & needs will change, as will what you spend on them. 

Failing that, I suggest you get *EVERYONE* in the family a 8" circular saw for Christmas this year. Or maybe you could just get *everyone* a nice doll.

Mon


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## Alice In TX/MO (May 10, 2002)

Thank you all. 

I am glad I have a while to process what happened. I am about finished with the furious and frustrated stages. 

Lots to think about.


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## oneraddad (Jul 20, 2010)

I suggest you send her a link to this thread so we can get to the bottom of this ASAP


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

oneraddad said:


> I suggest you send her a link to this thread so we can get to the bottom of this ASAP


That oughta do it, Dad!


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## oneraddad (Jul 20, 2010)

I bet we'd get some juicy story's


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## Alice In TX/MO (May 10, 2002)

ROFL. I knew you would chime in sooner or later.


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## Falfrenzy (Aug 20, 2018)

Sad to say, but for men with assets(and even those without), its a losing gamble in today's world to get married. Especially once a woman realizes that the family courts across this country do not play fair and are mostly against men. With some women, any slight provocation and they have their lawyer drafting up papers. Some states view all property (personal and real) to be jointly owned as soon as that marriage license is signed. So be careful and absolutely sure that she's the "one" before saying I do. Kinda funny that the marriage " contract" doesn't require the officiating person to spell out all the terms and conditions that you are agreeing to before saying I do. Probably because no one would stay on the altar, LOL.

Are there exceptions to the "gold digger" situation I described above? Of course there are. Will I ever get married again? Highly doubtful. Seek out companionship from the opposite sex? You betcha. 

But where is the advantage of marriage in today's world? Seriously, where is the equitable to both parties advantage.

I recall a survey taken of men and women asked why they got married the answers were as follows:

Men: companionship and sexual intimacy 
Women: starting a family and financial security (gee, I wonder what they truly mean other than possibly 2 incomes).

Men and women don't even want the same thing out of marriage. No wonder why they fail.

Anyone debating marriage in this world should get a pre-nuptial agreement. The nay sayers will say "But you're planning on the marriage failing with a pre-nup" Yeah, when the judge awards alimony to someone who was sleeping around on you or wanted a divorce "just because", my recommendation above will sting you like no other that you ignored it. My ex-wife was relectant to sign a re-nup until I reminded her about all of her accrued retirement as a tenured teacher that I could go after. 

Less than 2 years later she filed for divorce.


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## Falfrenzy (Aug 20, 2018)

nehimama said:


> Yeah, yeah, I know better now. Some years ago, I had a profile up on Survivalist Singles. Came across a self-described survivalist who seemed to be going in the same direction that I was heading. After a few messages, we decided to get together. Wow! I know much better than that now!
> 
> To begin with, he was fond of saying, "I have no feminine side." I (mistakenly) took that to mean he was a manly man, one I could depend on. Over time, I realized that what he meant was that he was selfish, inconsiderate, and concerned only with his own needs.
> 
> ...


I thank you for taking the time to type out this life experience. Sam was a sleazebag of the highest order it seems and your generosity was above and beyond what others would have done. It truly speaks for your character.


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## Clem (Apr 12, 2016)

Falfrenzy said:


> ................. Some states view all property (personal and real) to be jointly owned as soon as that marriage license is signed..........
> .....


Not true anywhere.


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## Falfrenzy (Aug 20, 2018)

Clem said:


> Not true anywhere.


I'm listening to hear you explain how marital property ordered by the court to be equally distributed does not apply.


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## Clem (Apr 12, 2016)

This is what I quoted, and this is what is not true anywhere.
*Some states view all property (personal and real) to be jointly owned as soon as that marriage license is signed.*


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## Falfrenzy (Aug 20, 2018)

Clem said:


> This is what I quoted, and this is what is not true anywhere.
> *Some states view all property (personal and real) to be jointly owned as soon as that marriage license is signed.*


I will end the thread hijack at this point. Apologies y'all.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Far as I know, Okla does. Its just whether the X wants the property or not, or an equal amount of money that 1/2 of the property is worth.


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## Clem (Apr 12, 2016)

*Big, overblown sigh*
Under Oklahoma law, marital property is *that which is acquired or is a direct result of the labor and investments of the parties during the marriage is subject to equitable division*. Equitable division does not mean marital property is divided equally, it is divided in manner that results in a fair or equitable result for each spouse. Courts will consider the following factors based on case law.

The Oklahoma statute in effect reads in full as follows:

The court shall enter its decree confirming in each spouse the property owned by him or her before marriage and the undisposed-of property acquired after marriage by him or her in his or her own right. Either spouse may be allowed such alimony out of real and personal property of the other as the court shall think reasonable, having due regard to the value of such property at the time of the divorce. Alimony may be allowed from real or personal property, or both, or in the form of money judgment, payable either in gross or in installments, as the court may deem just and equitable. As to such property, whether real or personal, which has been acquired by the parties jointly during their marriage, whether the title thereto be in either or both of said parties, the court shall, subject to a valid ante-nuptial contract in writing, make such division between the parties as may appear just and reasonable, by a division of the property in kind, or by setting the same apart to one of the parties, and requiring the other thereof to be paid such sum as may be just and proper to effect a fair and just division thereof. The court may set apart a portion of the separate estate of a spouse to the other spouse for the support of the children of the marriage where custody resides with that spouse.

43 O.S. § 121(B). Absent fraud, a divorce acts as an absolute bar to any claims to property of the other. 43 O.S. § 122. If there is a contract at issue, then contract law principles and defenses govern. Otherwise, Oklahoma property division is simply legislated to settle all property claims spouses may have against each other. Oklahoma’s statutory law mandates a fair and equitable division of marital property. _Larman v. Larman_, 1999 OK 83, ¶17, citing 43 O.S. § 121(B). Because Oklahoma courts require that liabilities be divided as well, it is technically the net marital estate subject to equitable division. Just and reasonable division of the net marital estate can allow property divisions of great simplicity or complexity.

What you had going into a marriage is yours, and stays yours. Community property is that which is accumulated *during* the marriage.

Doesn't matter what anybody thinks, or believes. Or heard. Or hopes. Facts are pretty easy to look up. If you want the other persons stuff, you'll have to stay married, outlive them, and hope they don't give it so someone else before they die, or in their will.


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## Forcast (Apr 15, 2014)

Dont know if its still around but HOOKUP had great posts to join in on. Not sure how many people really hooked up but they had boards by age. Was fun to chat with the groups.


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## Falfrenzy (Aug 20, 2018)

Clem said:


> *Big, overblown sigh*
> Under Oklahoma law, marital property is *that which is acquired or is a direct result of the labor and investments of the parties during the marriage is subject to equitable division*. Equitable division does not mean marital property is divided equally, it is divided in manner that results in a fair or equitable result for each spouse. Courts will consider the following factors based on case law.
> 
> The Oklahoma statute in effect reads in full as follows:
> ...


You took the time and effort to post that, so I will reply. 

My prior post about ALL property was a little heavy handed. My situation was a house that I obtained a mortgage on while dating my future Ex, and we moved in together, and were married while in that house. 

Transmutation and comingling of property matters were the other issues that makes it "feel" like its all one's property for dissolution.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

I thought hookup ment WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO, tonights the night lol


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Clem, thanks for the enlightening lol


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## Oxankle (Jun 20, 2003)

I fail to see how a man can marry and expect his wife to contribute half the income for rhe family. I also fail to see how a woman can be stupid enough to move in with a man who has no source of income and who expects her to hold a job out of the home, do the laundry, cook, clean house, tend the yard and provide sex on demand.

Yet here on this forum I read of people doing exactly that. Any man who thinks that he is so great that a woman should fall at his feet, move in, hold a job and provide half the family income is a jerk. If you want to hold a woman, get a job, provide a home and half a dozen women will apply for your job. Treat them decently and the ONE you choose will stay with your for life.

I should add that no matter how hard you try, if you do as I say above the woman will work harder than you for the rest of her life. They are tougher, smarter, harder-working than men and a hell of a lot better companions.


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

to tell you the truth I never ever contributed any income much less half. all I did was look after the family and our hobby farm while my husband was away. he was the only breadwinner. ~Georgia


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## Oxankle (Jun 20, 2003)

And you made a beautiful home and looked after him until he died.


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## BostonLesley (Nov 14, 2017)

Just my own 2 cents: I think it is very difficult at best for a person who has lost a beloved spouse to death vs divorce to understand the other side of the fence. They have never experienced their beloved run off with another person, or take to drink/drugs so that you either leave or sink into the mire with them. One can have it all only to wake up one morning and have nothing...my oldest daughter knows this now..what do you DO when your spouse leaves you flat and runs off with another person? My DD trusted her husband...now she will not trust anyone again...her world changed in the snap of someone else's fingers. Divorced people, IMHO, look at life with a jaundiced eye...and they should. Widowed people from a long-time happy marriage have a different view of life...i.e. "it is as you make it to be"....not for us..another person ruined that viewpoint..most of us are left to reinvent our lives..some do that well, and some don't....If I had waited for "Mr. Perfect by the book" to arrive, I'd have lost out on "Mr. Perfect for me".


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## frogmammy (Dec 8, 2004)

"Mr. Perfect for me" is the *ONLY* one that counts.

Mon


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

Clem said:


> Not true anywhere.





Clem said:


> *Big, overblown sigh*
> Under Oklahoma law, marital property is *that which is acquired or is a direct result of the labor and investments of the parties during the marriage is subject to equitable division*. Equitable division does not mean marital property is divided equally, it is divided in manner that results in a fair or equitable result for each spouse. Courts will consider the following factors based on case law.
> 
> The Oklahoma statute in effect reads in full as follows:
> ...


Well that’s one only 49 more to go in the USA then you can start on the ones in the other 194 countries,


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

Alice In TX/MO said:


> Back to disappointments.....
> 
> ....and I know there is one person who will criticize me for posting family stuff....
> 
> ...


Lol did you ask her if she corrected for age(6year olds get .0025 of your income 16 year olds .005 )inflation , and income ?(If your wages are up 10 percent presents are up 10percent. )??


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## Alice In TX/MO (May 10, 2002)

Yeah. It’s a cluster in many levels.


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## Twp.Tom (Dec 29, 2010)

You should do whatever You like to do with Your money Alice* It's nobody's business, bur Yours. That said, it's always good to be equal, and fair to the kids, and it seems like You have. No one should be keeping a ledger on Your gift giving.


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## Twp.Tom (Dec 29, 2010)

Man, I found a beautiful,honest, fair, and hardworking wife on an internet forum! There is hope for everyone****


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

Twp.Tom said:


> Man, I found a beautiful,honest, fair, and hardworking wife on an internet forum! There is hope for everyone****


Me too!

Actually I’ve met several of them here but just one is mine !


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

Alice In TX/MO said:


> Yeah. It’s a cluster in many levels.


I had a very hateful Niece complain one Christmas when I bought a neighborhood girl the best set of boots gloves and carhearts I could find one Christmas. 
I replied that I tried to spend a dime for every nice word someone said to me. 
Haven’t had to buy her a present since.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

LOL lol


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Well, Im gonna take what I guess I can get. At least shes someone I know completely. I know when shes gonna gripe and groan the minute she does, and I know how to parry her arguments 1/2 way to my advantage, and 1/2 way that were both right/wrong.


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## ydderf (Dec 15, 2018)

I met my wife on match.com in 2002 still happily married to an educated hard working woman. Admittedly it was my third attempt at finding someone on the internet. In my experience the pic's shown in the ad were primarily 10 years old showing a much thinner person then I found when we met.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Yeah that was mine also. Some were HS pics. Some were pics of their fav objects/animals


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