# Serious question



## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

.......


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## 7thswan (Nov 18, 2008)

Auctions, say a livestock auction. Ours has a flea market.Sales of garden fresh foods ect.


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## TnAndy (Sep 15, 2005)

Farmers.com ? (see it advertised on TV...not shopping....  )


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## MattB4 (Jan 3, 2016)

I suspect many turn to the internet these days since there is not as many other places available to remote individuals. Still a problem when you consider that someone setup as self-sufficient, remote, homesteader style, is unlikely wanting to give it up to go be with another self-sufficient, remote person. 

Distances and inertia are not just a physics problem.


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## Sourdough (Dec 28, 2011)

Me thinks that the problem is an "Inflated" and "Delusional" vision of self-worth. Yes, that is a painful mirror to view.





Laura Zone 5 said:


> HOW do 'single' folks, living a simple self sustaining lifestyle meet other like minded folks? Where do they go? Where do they hang out?


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

Sourdough said:


> Me thinks that the problem is an "Inflated" and "Delusional" vision of self-worth. Yes, that is a painful mirror to view.


I don't understand?


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## Sourdough (Dec 28, 2011)

Step # 1. Make a list (on paper) of all the positives that you feel you bring with you, as a mature adult person, to a union with a mate.

Step # 2.






Laura Zone 5 said:


> I don't understand?


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## RichNC (Aug 22, 2014)

Sourdough said:


> Step # 1. Make a list (on paper) of all the positives that you feel you bring with you, as a mature adult person, to a union with a mate.
> 
> Step # 2.


You are mean and offensive!


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

Sourdough said:


> Step # 1. Make a list (on paper) of all the positives that you feel you bring with you, as a mature adult person, to a union with a mate.
> 
> Step # 2.


Ok.........what is step 2?


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## MattB4 (Jan 3, 2016)

Sourdough said:


> Step # 1. Make a list (on paper) of all the positives that you feel you bring with you, as a mature adult person, to a union with a mate.
> 
> ...


Hmm..
1. Bathe or shower at least once a year whether I need it or not.
2. Have some of my real teeth still.
3. Don't eat as much now that I am older.
4. Have zero romantic impulses.
5. Own 3 cats. 
6. Live in a shack in the woods.
7. Never married so no issues with Ex's and no kids that I know of. 
8. Able to read without moving my lips. 
9. No wealth to get in the way of anything. 
10. Jeopardy addict. 

I would list out my negatives but I heard tell that doing that scares away potential mates.


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## Sourdough (Dec 28, 2011)

Based on this several things are highly probable. Can you see what those things are......??? Can you list those things......????




Laura Zone 5 said:


> Ok.........what is step 2?


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

Sourdough said:


> Based on this several things are highly probable. Can you see what those things are......??? Can you list those things......????


Ok, I didn't know if that was a rhetorical question.....Yes, I can make a list.
Do you want me to spell them out here, or just put them on paper for my eyes only?


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## dademoss (May 2, 2015)

Why is the original question missing?


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

Sourdough....PM sent......


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## Sourdough (Dec 28, 2011)

It was a good question, that she asked.........Don't know why she deleted it. She has a pattern of second guessing herself.




dademoss said:


> Why is the original question missing?


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## dademoss (May 2, 2015)

There are no bad Survival and Emergency Preparedness questions


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## Fennick (Apr 16, 2013)

> Originally Posted by *Laura Zone 5*
> _
> HOW do 'single' folks, living a simple self sustaining lifestyle meet other like minded folks? Where do they go? Where do they hang out?_


They network and get involved within their communities. You won't meet who you want if you don't network and become involved with other people who can introduce you to people who can introduce you to people who can introduce you to more people who ALL have some similar interests.

Become an active participant at a farmers market and at fairs. Produce something to sell at local weekend farmers markets where other like minded single people are doing the same thing. Your sales booth could be to sell your home grown produce and herbs, or all manner of hand-crafted arts and crafts, or your personally designed and crafted jewellery or decorative beadwork, fancy soaps, your preserves, baked goods, knitting, etc., etc., etc. By getting involved with something like that you will meet people and end up networking, your new acquaintances at farmers marketa will become your friends and introduce you to more new people of similar interests.

You could do volunteer work in your community. There are all kinds of things that can be done on a volunteer basis that will bring you into contact with other volunteers who are looking for like minded people.

You could network online with like minded singles. Join this website and try networking with folks near your location. Even if you don't immediately meet the love of your life you can still make friends with singles, couples, families and groups and they in turn will introduce you to other people: http://internationalpreppersnetwork.net/viewforum.php?f=1


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

Sourdough said:


> Based on this several things are highly probable. Can you see what those things are......??? Can you list those things......????



Did.
Now , what's your Step #2?:clap:


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## Midgard (Jan 23, 2015)

I am still not sure of the original question but I will guess. Tammy and I met on a regular dating site. We both had lived on sailboats. Now, 11 years later, we live on 40 acres outside a small rural town in northeast Washington.

One other suggestion that I have is to find a penpal. Who knows where that would lead. Try penpalworld.com.

Best of luck!
Ed


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

Laura Zone 5 said:


> Did.
> Now , what's your Step #2?:clap:


Silly me, I honestly thought we were having an adult discussion!?
I guess not?


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

Midgard said:


> I am still not sure of the original question but I will guess. Tammy and I met on a regular dating site. We both had lived on sailboats. Now, 11 years later, we live on 40 acres outside a small rural town in northeast Washington.
> 
> One other suggestion that I have is to find a penpal. Who knows where that would lead. Try penpalworld.com.
> 
> ...


It was along the lines of where in real life to meet like minded folks.
Not for the sole purpose of a 'mate' but more just to be around people who are 'like minded'. 
If a relationship developed out of that, great......but where to meet people who are like minded.

Not in bars, not in 'churches'; they look at me like I have a 3rd eye when I say "yeah, I want to own a little old farm house, some land, chickens goats and a big ole garden that I can can / jam preserve" God forbid you even elude to S&EP.


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## Darren (May 10, 2002)

Laura Zone 5 said:


> It was along the lines of where in real life to meet like minded folks.
> Not for the sole purpose of a 'mate' but more just to be around people who are 'like minded'.
> If a relationship developed out of that, great......but where to meet people who are like minded.
> 
> Not in bars, not in 'churches'; they look at me like I have a 3rd eye when I say "yeah, I want to own a little old farm house, some land, chickens goats and a big ole garden that I can can / jam preserve" God forbid you even elude to S&EP.


I have some experience with this program in WV. Between this and the master gardener program, you may meet some like souls.

http://www.in.gov/dnr/parklake/6321.htm


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## Sourdough (Dec 28, 2011)

The more rural and sparse the human population the higher the concentration of those type of people. The further you are from urban population centers, the more compulsory that mindset becomes. You should have moved to rural Alaska when you moved back to Indiana. You would have discovered that everyone thinks and lives that lifestyle..........or they die. City people rely on someone else...........Rural and wilderness people rely on themselves.







Laura Zone 5 said:


> It was along the lines of where in real life to meet like minded folks.
> Not for the sole purpose of a 'mate' but more just to be around people who are 'like minded'.
> If a relationship developed out of that, great......but where to meet people who are like minded.
> 
> Not in bars, not in 'churches'; they look at me like I have a 3rd eye when I say "yeah, I want to own a little old farm house, some land, chickens goats and a big ole garden that I can can / jam preserve" God forbid you even elude to S&EP.


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## MattB4 (Jan 3, 2016)

Laura Zone 5 said:


> ...
> 
> Not in bars, not in 'churches'; they look at me like I have a 3rd eye when I say "yeah, I want to own a little old farm house, some land, chickens goats and a big ole garden that I can can / jam preserve" God forbid you even elude to S&EP.


Pardon me since I have zero knowledge of your background. Why is it you do not own a rural property if that is what you want? It might not have a little old farm house, until you build it and it ages, but it certainly could have a garden and livestock. 

Or conversely, if you are seeking a mate that already has all that than you would need to go to where they are at. They will not go to you. Rather hard to catch salmon in a city sewer. Or, for that matter, finding a supermodel out slopping hogs (other than for a reality TV show or a advertisement for a dating site).


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## Sourdough (Dec 28, 2011)

Should be someone "Signature line" 





MattB4 said:


> .........if you are seeking a mate that already has all that than you would need to go to where they are at. They will not go to you. Rather hard to catch salmon in a city sewer. Or, for that matter, finding a supermodel out slopping hogs


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## GREENCOUNTYPETE (Jul 25, 2006)

I think this is getting a little off track 

I believe the original question was " how does a single person meet a like minded person who they can spend time with and as a possible mate"

the back story you should consider is that this some one was in a long term relation ship with someone and had build a life and was deeply hurt and the relationship has been dissolved.

I know that gets sort of personal so make this a Hypothetical discussion about our imaginary person Jane 

Jane is a single woman in the middle of her life 

how do does she find companionship and shared interest , in a safe way.


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## Sourdough (Dec 28, 2011)

*&#8220;In the middle of the road of my life, I awoke, and discovered that I had wholly lost my way.&#8221;*
Dante Alighieri (June 1265- September 1321)


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## GREENCOUNTYPETE (Jul 25, 2006)

now for my advise , the internet is a great tool 

I met my wife on the internet , way back in the dial up days 

a few of my friends have met their spouses on the internet most of them used some sort of personal add or dating service A friends daughter met her husband on e harmony

if I were Jane , I would list the activities that I enjoy , perhaps gardening , canning , hiking , camping, canoeing and fishing.

other thinks I enjoy are watching movies at home with a nice fire in the wood stove on cold nights and sushi (not at the same time , you have to go out to get good sushi)


approach prepping from a shared interests stand and not as it's own thing 


I very much get , church not being a viable place to meet people , I cant think of any single people at church even close to my age 

so this is the next Big tip , it's probably going to take seeing several people and being very honest with them if they are not the right fit 
a friend who met his wife online , he would come in to work the day after he went on a date to meet someone , I think he came in about 5 times and shook his head, he knew by the end of the first date generally and would just tell them it was good to meet them but they just weren't the right person for him. this way you have a evening and a dinner invested and you can both move on.


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## painterswife (Jun 7, 2004)

GREENCOUNTYPETE said:


> now for my advise , the internet is a great tool
> 
> I met my wife on the internet , way back in the dial up days
> 
> ...


I agree. Met my husband in the days of dial up. Digital photos meant going to a special photographer to get a digital file. You have to be willing to invest the time whether it be in a friends or a partner.


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## GREENCOUNTYPETE (Jul 25, 2006)

my wife and I lived only 3 miles apart , I knew people she knew and once we started talking by email I was easily able to confirm who she was , but honestly I didn't know what she looked like until we me at a book store that had a coffee shop 

we talked for about a month and a half before we met 

Oh yeah I was easy to spot the only guy in the place with my name on my coat that had no idea how to order a fancy coffee. I did intentionally wear the coat with my name on it 

meeting in a mutually neutral place is a good idea


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## painterswife (Jun 7, 2004)

I found that time we talked via email pretty great. We learned so much about each other without getting caught up in the hormones.


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

I am not looking to meet the next Mr. Zone 5.......
If it happens, great.....
But I want to meet others (male or female) who are like minded.

I went to meetup.com and there are a couple of 'gardening' and 'prep' groups, but the prep groups are all but inactive, and it's winter so there's nothing going on in the garden groups.

I could look and see if my local extension has any classes or activities?
Volunteer @ 4-H?
Find something I can buy at a feed store and go once a week to buy it?

I don't *need* a man.......haven't had one all my life, so clearly I can do w/o lol.
It would be nice to have a circle of man-friends!!
It would be nice to have a circle of girl-friends!!

That's what I am looking for; Where do S&EP types hang out so I can start hanging out there and meet some of them in real life!!!


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## MattB4 (Jan 3, 2016)

Laura Zone 5 said:


> ...
> 
> That's what I am looking for; Where do S&EP types hang out so I can start hanging out there and meet some of them in real life!!!


What is a S&EP type? I suppose I could Google it. Usually I can guess a acronym from context but this has me stumped. 

The S can not mean Solitary because them types are not much for hanging out. EP sounds like Emergency personnel and they would hang out at accidents. Maybe it is solitary people in the the need of emergency personnel?


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## GREENCOUNTYPETE (Jul 25, 2006)

MattB4 said:


> What is a S&EP type? I suppose I could Google it. Usually I can guess a acronym from context but this has me stumped.
> 
> The S can not mean Solitary because them types are not much for hanging out. EP sounds like Emergency personnel and they would hang out at accidents. Maybe it is solitary people in the the need of emergency personnel?


Matt your on the S&EP forum , she wants to meet nice people like the ones she talks with here , but in person


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## GREENCOUNTYPETE (Jul 25, 2006)

Laura Zone 5 said:


> I am not looking to meet the next Mr. Zone 5.......
> If it happens, great.....
> But I want to meet others (male or female) who are like minded.
> 
> ...



in that case yes I would volunteer for 4H your certainly going to meet many people that way , I am a 4-H volunteer , and while I don't exactly hang out with my 4-H associates socially very often , it is a good way to meet people, learn and share common interests.

I also work with the state 4-H team and I meet a number of interesting people there with the training that we provide it is a way I can improve my knowledge and share what I have already learned with others 


another thing you might want to do is look into a master gardener and master preserver program through your county extension , I took my daughter to the canning class put on by the master preservers there wasn't much new that I learned but I had fun met people shared recipes and because she is 4-H it cost very little I could see taking the class again with each of the kids 


I meet many people through league also , I participate in a pistol league with the club I belong to , that informal league has opened up classes and other things that I didn't even know existed when I first joined.

My dad is very involved in his fishing club 


I think what your heading for is keeping busy doing the things you enjoy and meet other people with shared interests along the way.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

You will have your own place soon. Then you will be at the hardware store learning to fix your own plumbing and cracked windows. You will be at the feed store for dog food, fencing, chicks and chicken food. There's lots of stuff to browse and ask questions over. It's not too early for preparing garden space if you have it. Don't forget the power tools. I like the saw shop and equipment rental place. Join the rural fire department. Lots of prepper people are first responders. Join the garden club, they have winter activities too. The library is a good place to meet people of intelligence. 

Our church sponsors free dance lessons with a pretty good turn out. There are several community meals served weekly and monthly to volunteer to prep, serve and share. I enjoy participating and meeting people at the senior luncheon. We have a 102 year old homestead lady with handicap bars on her tractor. 

I think first you have to live where you want to live, be who you want to be, do what you love to do and make an effort to talk with strangers. When you do this, you find yourself among like-minded people.

I refuse to have the preps talk with anyone who is not solid "family." Anyone new who would broach it with me sucks at OPSEC and is a reject. There is no info beyond I'll be okay through this next storm.


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## MattB4 (Jan 3, 2016)

GREENCOUNTYPETE said:


> Matt your on the S&EP forum , she wants to meet nice people like the ones she talks with here , but in person


Ah... lightbulb. I kept thinking it was some weird personal column type thing like SWWCDFMLP (Single, widowed, with children, drug free, must like puppies type of thing).


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## OffGridCooker (Jan 29, 2010)

Would you want to be with someone, that would have you as a mate?
Your standards are higher than that!


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## Sourdough (Dec 28, 2011)

And thar'in lay the problem. (Which brings us back to Post# 5)



OffGridCooker said:


> Would you want to be with someone, that would have you as a mate?
> Your standards are higher than that!


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## hoddedloki (Nov 14, 2014)

Another good place to find like minded folk tends to be the re-enacting groups. Some of the folks there can be a little stuck in the past, but most folks who get involved are at least marginally interested in knowing how to live with out Walmart. And besides, it is a fantastic opportunity to learn cool things...

Loki


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

Sourdough said:


> And thar'in lay the problem. (Which brings us back to Post# 5)


Yeah......Post #5 made 0 sense......and you didn't seem very interested in explaining yourself......



> Would you want to be with someone, that would have you as a mate?
> Your standards are higher than that!


If you could reword this question, I may be able to answer......




> I refuse to have the preps talk with anyone who is not solid "family." Anyone new who would broach it with me sucks at OPSEC and is a reject. There is no info beyond I'll be okay through this next storm.


I completely agree!!
Where I work, the mayo comes in a 4 gallon bucket (in a plastic bag) and I saved the bucket and ran it thru dish. One of my bosses said "whatcha doing w/ the bucket". I told him I like to buy my grains in bulk because it's cheaper, and I store it in buckets ((everyone at work knows where I used to live, and how badly I want back out in the country))....... and said "uh huh, and smiles".
He knows.
No words needed......


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## PrincessFerf (Apr 25, 2008)

Laura, I sure wish there was an easy answer to your question. But many people have the same question and the answer for every individual is different from the rest.

Continue to pursue your lifestyles and hobbies. Putting out the energy to others that you are seeking companionship (as friends or more) at least makes your availability known. Smile at people, make small talk, ask questions. People love to talk about themselves and their hobbies. 

Once and awhile take a chance... worst case scenario is that the person is a grump and won't talk and that becomes their loss. But maybe you'll make a new friend. 

I wish you ALL good things in your search. And no matter what, don't give up.


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## Falkor (Mar 19, 2015)

Another good way to meet like minded folks is to join the Grange. Often they have a selection of events to go to, or if they don't, do like we did here and ask if you can use the space to hold a workshop on a topic you know about - just easy beginner stuff, make it free and serve coffee - people will show up!

Anyone who shows up to homestead related events is a good candidate for a friend, and worse case scenario - you get a discount on propane thru your Grange membership lol.


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