# You can't ever trust anyone



## unregistered168043 (Sep 9, 2011)

Just found out my uncle, who has known me since I was born, has been ripping me off. I can't really put into words how I am feeling right now. 

People often comment as odd that I am like a hermit who lives in the woods, but I really dont see the point of associating with people when the human character is so low, which is proven to me time and again. At least I know where I stand with my horses and sheep!

Sorry for the rant.


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## MJsLady (Aug 16, 2006)

I hope you put a stop to it!


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Heck, My own bro and maybe dad got to me.


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## lonelytree (Feb 28, 2008)

I will never trust friends again. I am isolated from family. I got burned last fall and when I tried to open the gates of communication, I was denied. I have new friends. So far so good.


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## unregistered168043 (Sep 9, 2011)

Looks like it might have been going on for a few years. I'm going to have to go back through some records. My accountant called me this morning ( as he is doing my taxes ) and asked me some questions and he basically feels that I am being ripped off, or there is some accounting going on that he, as an accountant, has never seen in his life.

I suspected this but honestly did not want to believe it, now that an accountant is saying it I cannot ignore it or excuse it.


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

that's so sad DT! you dont expect it from your own but sometimes they can be worse. my dear love's bro was like that. took from everyone. when his father died he took the watch off his arm and his rings before he was cold and then went to the house and cleaned it out. all my husband got was his fathers religious tapes which was actually all he wanted anyway. didn't benefit from it though. he was gone himself a few months later. ~Georgia.


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## unregistered168043 (Sep 9, 2011)

lonelytree said:


> I will never trust friends again. I am isolated from family. I got burned last fall and when I tried to open the gates of communication, I was denied. I have new friends. So far so good.



Yeah the thing is my whole immediate family is deceased so all the family I have left are a couple of uncles, aunts, and cousins. I am getting married in Oct...looks like there might be alot less people on my side of the aisle.


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## unregistered168043 (Sep 9, 2011)

This is all from a piece of property that we own together and get some rent on. Now I am wondering if I can force the sale of this thing, if it turns out he has been stealing?

Last year we had an offer and I wanted to sell it but he said no.


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## CntryDaydreamer (Mar 7, 2013)

Darntootin~ I am sorry that this happened to you and that you can get it straightened out. 


I am also glad to see that I am not the only one that questions other peoples intent and does not trust easily. I have offended my family because I have said that I do not trust anyone except myself. I wonder if this is a condition for a lot of people who want to homestead or if its the same as the general population.


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## PaulaBlanch (Feb 18, 2013)

Would he be willing to buy your share from you? If it was me I would give him a good deal and walk away.


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## Pearl B (Sep 27, 2008)

I hate to say, the worst I have suffered from relationships has been at the hands of family. If it wasnt for a few good friendships, (people who were strangers once) Id probably be completely bonkers.

People in general are a strange lot. You never know who you can trust and who you cant,till you give them a chance.

Im glad the pain I went through didnt stop me from trying to find the good ones, or becoming a complete recluse.

Good luck. 
I hope you can figure out a way to stop getting ripped off from your Uncle, and find some good people for a change.


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## Jenstc2003 (Apr 4, 2012)

What a horrible thing to have to go through- and from someone you have always known! I concur, though- see if he would be either willing to sell or to buy your part if he doesn't want to, at a fair price, and then be done. I know I would never be able to continue business dealings with him if what seems to be happening is proven. Family dealings, you really can't help to some extent, but business? HECK no.


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## homefire2007 (Sep 21, 2007)

So sorry this happened to you. My late husband's family basically stole my sons college tuition from them. The brothers owned a property together. It's convoluted and complex but it was a kick in the gut. I walked away from it for my own sanity. They have been out of our lives for eight years...best decision I ever made. Hope all of this gets straightened out for you. And big, huge congratulations on your upcoming nuptials!!!


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

I'm so sorry you're going thru this, DT. Been there myself & it ain't pretty!


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## sherry in Maine (Nov 22, 2007)

yes, DT, I am sorry that you have seen the bad part of humans (especially when they are 'family' yeh, right)


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## mickm (Jul 23, 2010)

Sorry to hear it.

I have seen it other families. my exes family was a mess. luckily honesty is about all my family has.

I wont do work on credit for preachers or churches. Last year i figured up after a woman screwed me on a 500 dolla deck and the bible thumper crowd has cost me around $8000 , near as i can figure. i am not saying all churches or preachers are that way, but i cant afford to trust em

. I only say that to say, after 20+ years in business, i have folks i can trust %100 and others i trust when they pay me.


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## unregistered168043 (Sep 9, 2011)

I cant imagine cheating a younger member of my family, to betray that trust and disgrace myself...I don't think i could look at myself in the mirror. I'm sure he has built up a nice bunch of justifications, can' wait to hear them.


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## FlowrsETC (Jan 23, 2012)

First, let your accountant figure out how much was taken. 
Second, give him x amount of days to make good on it
and if he can't force the sale and take your half plus what he took
Last, if he doesn't agree to above, press charges and take him to court
Or, with the proof of theft have him sign his half over to you and sell the
place or let him buy it back at fair market price.

Problem solved. Good Luck.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

It's at least a class 3 felony for every time he took a dip, you have leverage. "Family" does this because they believe emotional blackmail will keep their sorry butts safe from consequences.

I finally looked at each family member and asked myself if I'd be associating if they were not related. At some point you have to let sentimentality go and say, "I'm done."


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## willow_girl (Dec 7, 2002)

> I suspected this but honestly did not want to believe it,


Always trust your instincts.

But yeah, sometimes people will surprise you. When my mother died, my dad rushed down to the bank and tried to clean out an account in which she had left me a small amount of money. Luckily they had been divorced, so he no longer had access to the funds. 

This was after I had taken care of his shopping, errands, etc., for a year following his stroke, making a 300-mile round trip every other weekend to look out for him. That was the thanks I got ...:stars:


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## mickm (Jul 23, 2010)

Message was too short

View attachment 7768


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## Echoesechos (Jan 22, 2010)

FlowrsETC said:


> First, let your accountant figure out how much was taken.
> Second, give him x amount of days to make good on it
> and if he can't force the sale and take your half plus what he took
> Last, if he doesn't agree to above, press charges and take him to court
> ...


And if you let him buy it back, don't hold the contract. Sorry this has happened to you. People are just strange. Those who do this to others would be livid or horrified if it happened to them. Very narrow sighted... I have always lived with a healthy suspicion towards others, even family. Just makes me more aware I guess.... Not really aware of of if anything that might have happend to me. Probably a good thing.


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## haypoint (Oct 4, 2006)

First things first. You have time to iron this out. Your Accountant is pretty busy just now. After the Tax Deadline, schedule a time to sit down and have him explain in a way you totally understand. Then take the info to your Uncle. Don't accuse. You can't un-ring that bell. See what he has to say about it. If it is clear cut theft (seldom is anything clear cut) ask how he intends to make amends. If it is a likely mistake, make the correction and move on. If it is fairly likely theft, and Uncle refuses to make amends (return what's owed plus interest) tell him you don't want to fight about it because you value your family relationship too much. Announce that you will lay the information before a Judge, letting an independent third party (and perhaps a jury)decide what should be done. Then go hire a Lawyer.


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## ErikaMay (Feb 28, 2013)

You have animals, right? Siblings will often steal from each other, the weakest animals get killed, parents often kill their young'uns, and some will find a stash of food and try to hide it from other animals. It is not unique to humans: it is animal nature.

What IS unique to humans is we expect better of ourselves and each other. Your uncle simply succumbed to animal greed..not to human evils. I hope you can protect yourself and your new family (congratulations on getting married!), and in time forgive your uncle for his failings but not forget. There is a difference between the two  Forgetting is pretending something never happened and risks getting burned again. Forgiveness lets you move on with your life with a new lesson, recognizing what happened, but without the anger that can fester and rot your heart.

But you are right: you simply can't fully trust anyone! Give people an opportunity for trust, but always double check. Heck...I've never screwed my mom over, but she still double checks I know rent is coming up for the farm.....yeeees? Cover you bases because people fall to animal impulses.


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## frogmammy (Dec 8, 2004)

ErikaMay said:


> ...
> 
> I hope you can protect yourself and your new family (congratulations on getting married!), and in time forgive your uncle for his failings but not forget. There is a difference between the two  Forgetting is pretending something never happened and risks getting burned again. Forgiveness lets you move on with your life with a new lesson, recognizing what happened, but without the anger that can fester and rot your heart.
> 
> ...


From what I've seen of that forgetting/forgiving thing, the one you "forgive" forgets what you've forgiven him for and keeps on doing it!

Mon


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## ErikaMay (Feb 28, 2013)

frogmammy said:


> From what I've seen of that forgetting/forgiving thing, the one you "forgive" forgets what you've forgiven him for and keeps on doing it!
> 
> Mon


not if you don't allow them the opportunity to do it again. You know someone does X, don't set them up for failure by allowing them the temptation of doing X.

My nephew was stealing from us so I kept my purse locked in my room so he wasn't tempted to riffle through and steal any cash. Okay, okay, more like thats what his grandma did. I just scare the crap out of him so he's afraid to mess with me...but i still keep my room locked when hes around. And there is less theft, now! He hasn't changed, but we've protected ourselves.


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## mickm (Jul 23, 2010)

We definitely teach people how to treat us.


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