# Something Perfectly Stupid, Just For Fun - Three Word Story



## Raeven

An amusing exercise. 

Here are the roolz: You may use *three words only* to advance the story. Simply add your three words in your own post, no need to quote the previous post or include the words used by the previous poster. That way, the story will just flow in three-word installments from post to post as we add to it. Use punctuation of course, as the story may move you to do so. Take the story in any direction you want it to go â just make it outrageous, silly, creative, FUN! Ya wanna?

Iâll start with:

Once there was


----------



## tambo

Peanut the goat


----------



## Raeven

, who frequently burst


----------



## SimplerTimez

From beautiful pastures


----------



## Ardie/WI

to dance merrily


----------



## Raeven

and wreak havoc


----------



## doingitmyself

on all the


----------



## doingitmyself

Roses, Petunias and


----------



## SimplerTimez

Rhubarb, precious rhubarb.


----------



## Raeven

To stop this


----------



## SimplerTimez

from getting out


----------



## Raeven

of hand, Oswald


----------



## Jaclynne

the goatman, decided


----------



## Raeven

, using only his


----------



## SimplerTimez

gentle, warm voice


----------



## Raeven

, Swiss Army knife


----------



## Guest

And a pinwheel


----------



## Jaclynne

,especially made for


----------



## Raeven

tickling dangly bits,


----------



## Jaclynne

to coax Peanut


----------



## SimplerTimez

the reluctant goat


----------



## Raeven

back into her


----------



## elkhound

the end....lol



i couldnt help myself...i think today is national pigtail pullin day...call me buster raven...roflmao


lol is a word on my computer...lol


----------



## Jaclynne

Despite Elk's efforts,


----------



## Raeven

something else happened!


----------



## Guest

Peanut saw a


----------



## elkhound

hole in fence


----------



## arcticow

Unbearably close to


----------



## elkhound

orchard and garden


----------



## elkhound

and ate all


----------



## vicker

I lost my place


----------



## Raeven

(It's already a classic, vicker. Understandable.  )

windfall. Oswald became


----------



## Guest

Posted out of synch.. Lol


----------



## elkhound

vicker said:


> I lost my place



me too...one eye on youtube the other here we liable to be skinning lizards and diggin up groundhogs....lol


----------



## elkhound

bostonlesley said:


> The garlic bulbs



were looking nice


----------



## tambo

his stinky breath


----------



## Guest

Reached the pinwheel


----------



## elkhound

wilted the flowers

ah lesley beat me to post.


----------



## Raeven

, wondering where Peanut


----------



## elkhound

had ran to


----------



## elkhound

FBB set off


----------



## elkhound

to find her


----------



## Guest

Following her breath


----------



## Raeven

which wasn't hard!


----------



## elkhound

follow threw the


----------



## elkhound

thick mtn laurel


----------



## elkhound

the path led


----------



## elkhound

up and across


----------



## arcticow

the cider apples


----------



## Raeven

were thick and


----------



## Guest

Littering the ground


----------



## Raeven

Peanut looked guilty.


----------



## arcticow

And queasy too


----------



## Raeven

. Oswald was flummoxed.


----------



## Ardie/WI

and the grasshoppers


----------



## Raeven

looked on nervously.


----------



## vicker

Meanwhile, in Duluth,


----------



## Jaclynne

Peanut's twin sister


----------



## arcticow

Shivered in her stall


----------



## Raeven

, blotchy tongue extended,


----------



## Jaclynne

she belched loudly


----------



## arcticow

having just swallowed


----------



## Raeven

a handkerchief perfumed


----------



## arcticow

with sweat from


----------



## Raeven

Roscoe's brow. She


----------



## arcticow

Wished she hadn't


----------



## Guest

been sold to


----------



## Raeven

the Salvation Army.


----------



## arcticow

these people with


----------



## Raeven

3-D glasses and


----------



## arcticow

handbells and kettles


----------



## Guest

with black hats


----------



## Raeven

were strangely unsettling.


----------



## Guest

But looked tasty


----------



## Raeven

-- possibly lemon-flavored!


----------



## Jaclynne

Leaning to her


----------



## arcticow

stallmate, she wrinkled


----------



## rkintn

her tiny nose


----------



## Guest

and decided to


----------



## Guest

go find Peanut!


----------



## Ardie/WI

She farted first!


----------



## Raeven

Sensing an opportunity,


----------



## tambo

she winked at


----------



## tambo

Peanuts best buddy


----------



## arcticow

Myrlene, and together


----------



## Tommyice

they set off


----------



## arcticow

heedless of the


----------



## Tommyice

road fraught with


----------



## arcticow

Jamaican BBQ joints.


----------



## Tommyice

Fearful of sauce,


----------



## starjj

they protected themselves


----------



## Jaclynne

with handmade slices


----------



## rkintn

of apple pie


----------



## Jaclynne

on large platters,


----------



## arcticow

which they covered


----------



## no1cowboy

strawberry ice cream


----------



## Jaclynne

and balanced on


----------



## Raeven

freakishly tiny hooves.


----------



## Raeven

Suddenly, there appeared


----------



## elkhound

a rifle barrel


----------



## wannabechef

With three bullets

Sent from my GT-P3113 using Tapatalk 4


----------



## rkintn

in the window


----------



## elkhound

i stood looking


----------



## vicker

scratching my head


----------



## wyld thang

and my package


----------



## vicker

sat unopened in


----------



## Shrek

in total confusion


----------



## Raeven

. But enough about


----------



## Raeven

me. Peanut's sister


----------



## Fowler

who's name was


----------



## SimplerTimez

Hazelnut, due to


----------



## Guest

guilt without sin.


----------



## vicker

Being a greenish


----------



## SimplerTimez

tint around the


----------



## Guest

moon that night


----------



## SimplerTimez

, Hazelnut pondered her


----------



## Guest

Situation and decided


----------



## Raeven

to find pancakes.


----------



## Guest

on the road


----------



## vicker

Pancakes never tired


----------



## Raeven

(ROFL!!! I meant breakfast, not a new character!! But seeing as how you once had a pup named Noodles, I can understand how I confused you... now, what to do? What to do?)

of Hazelnut's company


----------



## Fowler

made Raeven coffee


----------



## Raeven

, accidentally destroying Latvia


----------



## Fowler

meanwhile, dancing naked


----------



## vicker

while juggling spatulas


----------



## Jaclynne

dripping grapeseed oil,


----------



## Guest

along the road


----------



## Fowler

jacked on caffeine


----------



## Raeven

prancing toward Peanut.


----------



## tambo

Peanut saw her


----------



## Guest

hitching a ride


----------



## wannabechef

Fall off chair

Sent from my GT-P3113 using Tapatalk 4


----------



## tambo

on a cow


----------



## Guest

with bells on


----------



## tambo

chewing a cud


----------



## arcticow

of today's thistles


----------



## tambo

it started bucking...(does a cow buck?)


----------



## Guest

and Hazelnut landed


----------



## arcticow

in a hayrack


----------



## Raeven

"Oh!! That tickles!!"


----------



## arcticow

Peanut, almost forgotten,


----------



## tambo

comes a running


----------



## SimplerTimez

, hollerin' "Lawdy, lawdy..


----------



## Guest

"Is that you?"


----------



## Raeven

Hazelnut peered out


----------



## SimplerTimez

from behind the


----------



## arcticow

rather obese bovine


----------



## Raeven

"Together at last!"


----------



## Raeven

Suddenly, flatulent zombies


----------



## arcticow

running madly backward,


----------



## SimplerTimez

to avoid the


----------



## arcticow

fire extinguishers aimed


----------



## SimplerTimez

towards the gas


----------



## Raeven

tank that stood


----------



## SimplerTimez

amongst the gnarled


----------



## arcticow

crowd of trolls


----------



## Raeven

with dreadful comb-overs


----------



## arcticow

dressed like Elvis


----------



## Raeven

. "Be very afraid!"


----------



## SimplerTimez

of blue suede (had to change it...!)


----------



## Raeven

(LOL, yeah, some forums give you a "warning, new post" before you post your own... wish this one did, but it doesn't. I've changed several of mine.  )


----------



## arcticow

underwear for it


----------



## SimplerTimez

was on sale


----------



## Raeven

. Suddenly, unimaginably appeared


----------



## Tommyice

A gyro stand


----------



## arcticow

Gus and Woodrow


----------



## Guest

with the dove


----------



## arcticow

and Howdy Doody


----------



## Raeven

with only a


----------



## vicker

Whistle, a thong,


----------



## arcticow

handful of skunks


----------



## Raeven

and a smile.


----------



## arcticow

Zombies exploded everywhere


----------



## Guest

The goats ran!


----------



## arcticow

The skunks panicked!


----------



## Raeven

Howdy Doody disappeared.


----------



## arcticow

The dove sat


----------



## Guest

looking so lonesome


----------



## vicker

pecking goat pills


----------



## arcticow

that Peanut cried.


----------



## Raeven

and gently exclaimed,


----------



## DarleneJ

"Poor, poor baby"


----------



## vicker

sad, salty slippery


----------



## arcticow

tears froze quickly


----------



## Jaclynne

as they plopped


----------



## vicker

unwitnessed, soundlessly down.


----------



## Laura Zone 5

At that moment


----------



## Raeven

, unfortunately, a volcano


----------



## vicker

On whakonasechohoomylegolegDietrich Bonhoefferelegolegomelego belched


----------



## Jaclynne

oddly sweet smelling


----------



## vicker

maple syrup like


----------



## Jaclynne

they serve at


----------



## vicker

Texas pancake breakfasts.


----------



## Jaclynne

Puzzled and delighted,


----------



## vicker

thinking of Pancakes,


----------



## wannabechef

With maple syrup

Sent from my GT-P3113 using Tapatalk 4


----------



## DarleneJ

and jelly beans


----------



## Jaclynne

and not knowing


----------



## nehimama

what came next


----------



## Laura Zone 5

he decided to


----------



## Jaclynne

sing karaoke at


----------



## Laura Zone 5

the top of


----------



## tambo

his lungs. But


----------



## Laura Zone 5

all of the


----------



## vicker

Others would cringe.


----------



## whodunit

if they knew


----------



## Jaclynne

how far his


----------



## vicker

parents had gone


----------



## wannabechef

Home to sleep

Sent from my GT-P3113 using Tapatalk 4


----------



## Raeven

(LOL!! This story is getting to be like a bad acid trip. Not that I know much... errr... anything about that.  )

. Meanwhile, Oswald wondered


----------



## doingitmyself

If the Coyote,


----------



## Raeven

that was menacing


----------



## vicker

looking, became that


----------



## doingitmyself

interested in eating


----------



## arcticow

watermelons or canteloupes


----------



## Raeven

instead of Peanut.


----------



## arcticow

Vegan coyotes, however


----------



## Raeven

were not common


----------



## arcticow

so Oswald tossed


----------



## vicker

his lunch, violently.


----------



## arcticow

The coyote rejoiced!


----------



## vicker

being vomitvorous canines


----------



## arcticow

, a hot lunch


----------



## arcticow

went completely untouched.


----------



## Guest

"Eew eew. Eew"


----------



## vicker

I don't know who Oswald is and I'm not going through pages of this drivel to find out.


----------



## Jaclynne

Me either.


----------



## Shrek

oh you too?


----------



## wannabechef

I sure do

Sent from my GT-P3113 using Tapatalk 4


----------



## Jaclynne

Like waking from


----------



## vicker

lack of cars


----------



## Jaclynne

he hitched up


----------



## Guest

his time machine


----------



## doingitmyself

and fired up


----------



## kentuckyhippie

a stinky cigar


----------



## Jaclynne

, Black Orchid brand,


----------



## vicker

,to be exact,


----------



## arcticow

which his ex-wife


----------



## vicker

chewed on occasion.


----------



## Jaclynne

Mustering up enough


----------



## arcticow

enough money for


----------



## vicker

a time machine


----------



## DEKE01

. Space Aliens suddenly


----------



## vicker

came to mind.


----------



## Jaclynne

His noggin was


----------



## vicker

fixed on 6-6-1638


----------



## wannabechef

With three stitches

Sent from my GT-P3113 using Tapatalk 4


----------



## doingitmyself

in his grits


----------



## Jaclynne

and a twitch


----------



## wannabechef

In both eyes

Sent from my GT-P3113 using Tapatalk 4


----------



## doingitmyself

from his nose


----------



## doingitmyself

he blew a


----------



## vicker

Nose flute expertly.


----------



## catspjamas

The music was


----------



## doingitmyself

akin to Bluegrass,


----------



## wannabechef

And very loud

Sent from my GT-P3113 using Tapatalk 4


----------



## doingitmyself

loud enough to


----------



## kentuckyhippie

startle the bagpiper


----------



## doingitmyself

that was sitting


----------



## catspjamas

on a tack


----------



## Jaclynne

between two rocks.


----------



## vicker

These were not ordinary


----------



## Jaclynne

rocks, in fact,


----------



## catspjamas

they were magical


----------



## doingitmyself

as his flaculance


----------



## Jaclynne

had blown the


----------



## arcticow

notes which awakened


----------



## catspjamas

the mama bear


----------



## SimplerTimez

. Startled from hibernation,


----------



## arcticow

she bit the


----------



## SimplerTimez

flatulent nose flautist


----------



## vicker

finally forever finishing


----------



## catspjamas

his musical career.


----------



## vicker

All was quiet


----------



## MeatPigeons

Until one day


----------



## vicker

the silence stopped.


----------



## DEKE01

Because space aliens


----------



## MeatPigeons

Had found something


----------



## vicker

very sonically vibratory.


----------



## doingitmyself

his intestinal tract


----------



## doingitmyself

being vibrationally examined,


----------



## vicker

was eye opening. :shocked:


----------



## Jaclynne

The shocking truth


----------



## doingitmyself

sudden became clear!


----------



## tambo

Peanut suddenly saw


----------



## DEKE01

space aliens eating


----------



## Jaclynne

desiccated hemp vegetation


----------



## arcticow

, dill pickle snow cones,


----------



## tambo

spinning in circles


----------



## Jaclynne

and tapping their


----------



## wannabechef

Feet on floor

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy Tab 2


----------



## tambo

while pecking fingers


----------



## DEKE01

and firing phasers


----------



## vicker

Into the air.


----------



## sapphira

The bear eyeballed


----------



## Guest

Bare, I bawled


----------



## vicker

at my nakedness.


----------



## Jaclynne

Jaybird 'nekkid', Peanut


----------



## catspjamas

danced a jig


----------



## kentuckyhippie

and accidentally stomped


----------



## catspjamas

the space aliens


----------



## vicker

. Tomato soup cans


----------



## Jaclynne

jangled like summer


----------



## arcticow

wind chimes ringing


----------



## vicker

tintinnabulatey at home.


----------



## Jaclynne

Carefully, quietly, and


----------



## vicker

determined he waded


----------



## Jaclynne

through the iridescent


----------



## DEKE01

space aliens, which...


----------



## vicker

fled permanently away.


----------



## Jaclynne

Permanently relieved, Peanut


----------



## DEKE01

Space aliens returned!


----------



## doingitmyself

Peanut killed aliens


----------



## DEKE01

creating Zombie Aliens


----------



## doingitmyself

which immediately died.


----------



## vicker

An epidemic wiped


----------



## Jaclynne

out forever more! 

(did you hear me? forever more!)


----------



## vicker

future and past,


----------



## Jaclynne

sans aliens, Peanut



(what was the first goat's name?)


----------



## catspjamas

had a hallucination


----------



## vicker

and committed suicide  (bye Peanut)


----------



## wannabechef

With a shotgun

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy Tab 2


----------



## wannabechef

It was messy

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy Tab 2


----------



## Raeven

. The next day,


----------



## arcticow

bluebirds hatched out


----------



## doingitmyself

and wanted worms.


----------



## Jaclynne

Oswald, feeling sad


----------



## Raeven

, produced a trombone


----------



## vicker

shaped sycamore limb


----------



## Guest

(his significant other)


----------



## vicker

a three toed


----------



## doingitmyself

tiger striped sloth.


----------



## Jaclynne

Oswald was cheered


----------



## vicker

by seven redheads,


----------



## SimplerTimez

four non blondes,


----------



## Jaclynne

a jug of hooch,


----------



## SimplerTimez

off-brand boom box,


----------



## Raeven

with black pepper.


----------



## Jaclynne

Counting frogeyes, while


----------



## vicker

Playing doghouse basses.


----------



## DEKE01

space aliens returned


----------



## Raeven

and were annihilated.


----------



## DEKE01

Space Alien Oswald


(some people just don't appreciate high quality science fiction)


----------



## SimplerTimez

saw nothing happening,


----------



## Raeven

so he died.

(Some people don't appreciate when a theme has become overused.  )


----------



## DEKE01

(and some people seem to be overly fond of death and killin' :kiss


----------



## Raeven

(Just let them go gently, and let's see if we can improve the story!)

In a frenzy,


----------



## SimplerTimez

Frick and Frack


----------



## Raeven

, the resident cats,


----------



## DEKE01

fled space aliens

(space aliens definitely improve the story)


----------



## SimplerTimez

. Fearful of alienating


----------



## vicker

Sleeping Asian hookers,


----------



## katydidagain

who expect much


----------



## Jaclynne

from mother-in-law Fritzy


----------



## vicker

, who makes pies


----------



## kentuckyhippie

and dances hoochy-koochy


----------



## katydidagain

and hotsy totsy


----------



## vicker

For a baker.


----------



## catspjamas

The cats ate


----------



## Shrek

The proofreader weeped


----------



## doingitmyself

marching band refused


----------



## Jaclynne

And Oswald nodded off.


----------



## vicker

ravens croaked caws,


----------



## Jaclynne

while perched precariously


----------



## Raeven

on the shore


----------



## Jaclynne

, having sipped hooch


----------



## catspjamas

and playing banjos


----------



## libertygirl

. Suddenly, Oswald awoke


----------



## Raeven

, strangely aroused by


----------



## libertygirl

the stroking of


----------



## Raeven

odd, leech-like creatures


----------



## wannabechef

In the bedroom 

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy Tab 2


----------



## libertygirl

, and he thought,


----------



## vicker

That's funny, my


----------



## Raeven

magic beans are


----------



## wannabechef

Very very tasty

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy Tab 2


----------



## Tommyice

and all gone.


----------



## Raeven

Only he knew


----------



## Tommyice

why the Chianti


----------



## vicker

tickled going down.


----------



## Tommyice

"I swallowed a....


----------



## Jaclynne

yellow bumblebee dream


----------



## Raeven

!" He exclaimed. Now,


----------



## vicker

I should excrete


----------



## Raeven

the Starbucks employees


----------



## Tommyice

Triple Grande Latte!


----------



## Raeven

consumed at breakfast!"


----------



## vicker

He was, however, surprised


----------



## Raeven

<cough> (Four words -- penalty!! But heck, I thought you'd NEVER get here!!  )

when he noticed


----------



## catspjamas

the cat staring


----------



## Raeven

at his wife's


----------



## kentuckyhippie

big dangly boobies


----------



## catspjamas

Which made Oswald


----------



## vicker

instead of his


----------



## catspjamas

empty food dish


----------



## vicker

Oswald checked his


----------



## Raeven

options, then left


----------



## vicker

,without his beans.


----------



## Raeven

Turning his attention


----------



## vicker

to agave tequila.


----------



## Raeven

Drinking recalibrated his


----------



## vicker

something or other,


----------



## Raeven

he tried remembering,


----------



## vicker

honestly remember, when


----------



## Raeven

Angelina Jolie's lips


----------



## vicker

. He grinned in


----------



## Raeven

fiendish remembrance, then


----------



## vicker

smashed the bottle


----------



## Raeven

. Early next morning,


----------



## vicker

in the mirror,


----------



## vicker

hungover, wifeless, beanless,


----------



## vicker

Oswald slowly shaved,


----------



## vicker

smiling, thinking of


----------



## vicker

The kebab girl.


----------



## vicker

Her name, LJILJANA.


----------



## vicker

He remembered fondly


----------



## vicker

her white hands,


----------



## vicker

each like lilies,


----------



## vicker

smooth, translucent, white,


----------



## vicker

efficiently turning kebabs


----------



## vicker

and counting coins.


----------



## vicker

Such beauty, counting.


----------



## vicker

He missed Serbia.


----------



## vicker

Here one couldn't


----------



## vicker

even buy a


----------



## vicker

good, sweet cabbage.


----------



## vicker

A simple cabbage!


----------



## Jaclynne

(I see you had to go it alone. You can certainly wax on about cabbage.)

Hazelnut, Myrlene and


----------



## catspjamas

Rosemary had their


----------



## tambo

tails a twitching


----------



## doodlemom

wrought with sericata


----------



## Raeven

(LOL, ooohhh, good one, Doodle!!)

, having been neglected


----------



## catspjamas

when Oswald left


----------



## Raeven

to find cabbage.


----------



## tambo

To relieve themselves


----------



## Jaclynne

they surmised a


----------



## tambo

swim in the


----------



## Jaclynne

warm, clear waters


----------



## kentuckyhippie

neighbors hot tub


----------



## Jaclynne

. Cool drinks were


----------



## arcticow

mojitos, which resulted


----------



## tambo

in drunken slumber.


----------



## doodlemom

One idiot drowned.


----------



## Jaclynne

Hazelnut slipped below


----------



## doodlemom

mojito trailing behind


----------



## Jaclynne

, she sputtered and


----------



## Raeven

, dancing the Tango,


----------



## vicker

fell right over


----------



## Raeven

(making PETA angry)


----------



## vicker

FOX News later


----------



## Raeven

. A giant sinkhole


----------



## Tommyice

opened below the


----------



## doodlemom

outhouse which caused


----------



## Raeven

difficulties cleaning same.


----------



## Tommyice

SOmeday.....indoor plumbing


----------



## doodlemom

No more Charmin


----------



## Raeven

-- but of greater


----------



## doodlemom

concern is the


----------



## Raeven

oncoming tornado, which


----------



## Tommyice

headed right for


----------



## Raeven

the vulnerable lowlands!


----------



## doodlemom

Toto finally arrives


----------



## Jaclynne

yapping the alarm


----------



## vicker

Rapidly and loud.


----------



## doodlemom

Like a boss.


----------



## tambo

Down falls the


----------



## vicker

The curtain on


----------



## catspjamas

the window overlooking


----------



## kentuckyhippie

the local diner


----------



## catspjamas

where lovely Juanita


----------



## vicker

mooned at Juan.


----------



## vicker

moonburnt, Juan rubbed


----------



## katydidagain

his finger and


----------



## Jaclynne

and scratched his


----------



## catspjamas

backside. Thoughtfully, he


----------



## vicker

lightly hefted his


----------



## Jaclynne

glasses to see better.


----------



## vicker

Were those cabbages?


----------



## Jaclynne

"Sweet mother-of-pearl!", Juan


----------



## vicker

genuflected, silently praying, "


----------



## Jaclynne

Let it be


----------



## vicker

that I may


----------



## Jaclynne

hold those cabbages


----------



## Shrek

without breaking wind


----------



## arcticow

much louder than


----------



## vicker

Farmall H tractor.


----------



## Jaclynne

While the tornado


----------



## Raeven

bore down on


----------



## arcticow

hobbits seeking shelter.


----------



## vicker

dove into a


----------



## doodlemom

brothel of munchkins


----------



## Jaclynne

where naked chaos


----------



## vicker

wove tiny, tangled


----------



## vicker

mats of moaning


----------



## vicker

hedonistic hordes of


----------



## doodlemom

powdered doughnut holes


----------



## vicker

hairy footed hominids.


----------



## Jaclynne

The dark, gloomy


----------



## arcticow

night came alive


----------



## vicker

with deathly smells.


----------



## doingitmyself

the cabbages revenge...


----------



## DEKE01

A pause in the story and you will note, no space aliens will be harmed in this message.

In planning our annual family reunions, our family is always tasked with creating a game or two to entertain the troops. I stole the idea from this thread; you can judge for yourself whether or not this activity translates well to a group activity. For our test run tonight, sitting around the table after dinner, we had 2 grandparents, 2 parents, and 2 adult grandkids who are cousins. I had 15 pieces of paper so that's how long the story ran. 

Our rules were each person got a numbered slip of paper and could write 4 words. Each writer gets to see to two prior entries. So writer 4 gets to see messages 2 and 3, but not message 1. After writing his message, writer 4 deposits message 2 face down into the discard pile and passes messages 3 and 4 to writer 5. make sense? The discard pile accumulates the story in proper order.

Here's how the story came out (I made msg 1 is a bit longer to give the story some direction). After all the entries had been created, my DD who turns 18 tomorrow got the honor of reading the completed story out loud. 

1. At the tennis tournament this week 
2. I saw many people
3. who enjoyed the event
4. During the event, Grandma
5. said, "I love you,"
6. But she didn't mean
7. to love a goat
8. who had no horns
9. and ate no garbage.
10. He did, however, eat
11. lots of delicious bacon.
12. Which made him fart
13. Grandma's Christmas cookies. Then
14. he made a smile
15. and ate them all.


----------



## Raeven

(Very cute, Deke! And to think, no space aliens were invoked in the making of your story! Glad the concept was of use to you.  )

made itself known.


----------



## vicker

Thunder ominously rolled


----------



## Raeven

across the prairie,


----------



## doodlemom

over Hershey waves


----------



## Raeven

, heralding the arrival


----------



## tambo

of a storm.


----------



## Raeven

Oswald worried about


----------



## tambo

a lightening bolt


----------



## Raeven

striking his favorite


----------



## vicker

three teated nanny.


----------



## catspjamas

Standing next to


----------



## Raeven

a convenient bicycle,


----------



## doodlemom

Toto in basket


----------



## catspjamas

barking at the


----------



## Raeven

poor, confused goat,


----------



## Jaclynne

nurturing a hangover.


----------



## vicker

Oswald vowed, "tomorrow


----------



## Raeven

I will vanquish


----------



## catspjamas

the garden gnome


----------



## Raeven

who lurks malevolently


----------



## vicker

, though somewhat peeved,


----------



## kentuckyhippie

under the poisen-oak


----------



## vicker

in pastural gardens


----------



## Raeven

-- my sworn enemy!"


----------



## vicker

"ptooey!", He spit


----------



## Raeven

with contemptuous bravado


----------



## vicker

while secretly trembling.


----------



## catspjamas

Oswald took his


----------



## Raeven

handaxe to bolster


----------



## vicker

his pistol in holster,


----------



## vicker

slicked back his


----------



## Raeven

unruly nostril hairs


----------



## arcticow

and strode forward.


----------



## Jaclynne

With a mighty


----------



## SimplerTimez

belligerent bass bellow,


----------



## starjj

to conquer his


----------



## SimplerTimez

horribly quaking innards,


----------



## Raeven

thinking, "Why wait?"


----------



## vicker

His rumbling belly


----------



## Jaclynne

belied his bravado


----------



## arcticow

then suddenly backfired!!!


----------



## Jaclynne

Gale force winds


----------



## Raeven

gave him pause.


----------



## farmerj

his belly gurgled


----------



## Raeven

-- time to quickstep


----------



## farmerj

too long paused....


----------



## Raeven

(Oh, dear.) "Nnnoooooooooo!!!!!"


----------



## farmerj

the fear realized....


----------



## Raeven

the gnome grinned.


----------



## Jaclynne

Swirling winds lifted


----------



## Raeven

Oswald's comely kilt,


----------



## Jaclynne

shocking the grinning


----------



## Raeven

gnome into stunned


----------



## Jaclynne

somberness, facade cracked


----------



## Raeven

... choking, he expired.


----------



## Jaclynne

Oswald's ego boosted


----------



## doingitmyself

"is he dead"?


----------



## katydidagain

He who dead?


----------



## doingitmyself

if he's dead


----------



## katydidagain

Can't kill this.


----------



## Raeven

doingitmyself said:


> if he's dead


The gnome vanquished,


----------



## Jaclynne

Oswald strutted back


----------



## Raeven

, contemplating his future.


----------



## Jaclynne

Perhaps a future


----------



## Raeven

with pet ferrets?


----------



## Jaclynne

or film? or


----------



## doingitmyself

Home Shopping Network


----------



## vicker

After changing underwear,


----------



## katydidagain

after rollercoaster ride


----------



## Jaclynne

Oswald was famished.


----------



## catspjamas

Four bean burritos


----------



## vicker

SautÃ©ed collard greens,


----------



## arcticow

and pickled eggs


----------



## farmerj

and habanero peppers


----------



## Jaclynne

vanquished his hunger.


----------



## arcticow

Gnomes plotted revenge,


----------



## DEKE01

against space aliens!


----------



## arcticow

Meanwhile, cherubs flew


----------



## Jaclynne

skyward while singing


----------



## Raeven

bawdy love songs


----------



## Guest

with Irish harps


----------



## doingitmyself

meanwhile aliens died,


----------



## Raeven

throughout the universe,


----------



## Raeven

for all eternity


----------



## Raeven

(it was sad).


----------



## Raeven

(But not really.)


----------



## arcticow

The children cheered.


----------



## Jaclynne

Old men danced.


----------



## KareninPA

women ate chocolate


----------



## vicker

teenagers nonchalantly frowned


----------



## Jaclynne

No rap music!


----------



## DEKE01

Time for another break from Oswald and space aliens. For any of you questioning my sanity (WHOA...get in line) and obsession with space aliens, read this supposedly true essay which was created in a similar process as this thread.


In-class Assignment for Wednesday
Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to reread what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached.

* * * * * *

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

Meanwhile&#8230;, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his trans galactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth &#8212; when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

Little did she know, but she has less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through Congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion which vaporized Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate adolescent.

Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.

You total $*&.

Stupid %&#$!.


----------



## katydidagain

Start another thread.


----------



## katydidagain

Others enjoy this.


----------



## Raeven

The cherubs resumed


----------



## Raeven

their mischievous revelry,


----------



## Raeven

enticing Oswald to


----------



## Jaclynne

sing along croakily


----------



## Raeven

, tapping his hammertoes


----------



## katydidagain

Oswald? No Jack.


----------



## Jaclynne

Who is Jack?


----------



## katydidagain

Look to left.


----------



## Jaclynne

Well, get started.


----------



## vicker

Meanwhile, in Tallahassee,


----------



## Raeven

Desmond the lumberjack


----------



## SimplerTimez

slicked back his


----------



## Raeven

oily hair, pondering


----------



## SimplerTimez

the velvet sky.


----------



## Raeven

The fire crackled,


----------



## arcticow

as Minnesotans knitted


----------



## SimplerTimez

and Floridians sweated


----------



## Guest

like race horses


----------



## vicker

Desmond pocketed his


----------



## arcticow

smoked mullet sandwich,


----------



## vicker

maneuvered his toothpick


----------



## Guest

and thought about


----------



## vicker

Key lime pie.


----------



## SimplerTimez

The coffee pot


----------



## vicker

held stewed pears.


----------



## catspjamas

Fog rolled in


----------



## vicker

from the swamp


----------



## kentuckyhippie

smelling so moldy


----------



## Jaclynne

his nose-hairs curled.


----------



## catspjamas

"What's that stink!?!"


----------



## Jaclynne

Desmond queried. "Smells


----------



## Jaclynne

like old cat


----------



## Jaclynne

poo! Anybody got


----------



## catspjamas

cat poo on


----------



## vicker

somethingorother? Desmond's dark


----------



## Raeven

chocolate eyes wandered


----------



## vicker

In different directions.


----------



## Raeven

Simultaneously, he saw


----------



## Guest

a litter box


----------



## vicker

and a pie.


----------



## vicker

Desmond preferred pie.


----------



## Raeven

Key Lime pie!


----------



## vicker

He looked south


----------



## vicker

and east. The


----------



## Jaclynne

pie was unguarded.


----------



## vicker

Desmond was unrestrained.


----------



## Jaclynne

Just as Desmond


----------



## Jaclynne

strode forward, and


----------



## Jaclynne

reached for the


----------



## arcticow

gigantic pie, feathers


----------



## Jaclynne

mysteriously began falling


----------



## arcticow

like a blizzard!


----------



## Jaclynne

but with meatballs!


----------



## Guest

and spicy sauce


----------



## Guest

covering the ground


----------



## arcticow

, obliterating said pie...


----------



## vicker

"Dagnabit", Desmond said,


----------



## Jaclynne

"No garlic bread!"


----------



## arcticow

Desmond was anguished.


----------



## arcticow

Drool dripped from


----------



## vicker

his quivering toothpick.


----------



## arcticow

'Twas no ordinary


----------



## Raeven

hunger. He needed


----------



## arcticow

Miracle Whip desperately!


----------



## Jaclynne

That tangy, sweet


----------



## arcticow

ooey, gooey, squishy


----------



## Jaclynne

, tart condiment that


----------



## arcticow

masquerades as mayonnaise.


----------



## Jaclynne

Shaking off destractions


----------



## Guest

Hazelnut trotted towards


----------



## Raeven

Hoboken, New Jersey,


----------



## arcticow

God knows why...


----------



## Jaclynne

where once she


----------



## arcticow

encountered Tony Soprano


----------



## Jaclynne

. Star-dazzled with memories,


----------



## Raeven

of cement trucks


----------



## arcticow

and "bone farms",


----------



## Raeven

she invited Jack


----------



## Raeven

, the green frog,


----------



## arcticow

, of beanstalk fame,


----------



## Raeven

to tag along.


----------



## Raeven

"Why are we


----------



## Jaclynne

going by boat?"


----------



## Jaclynne

Raeven said:


> , the green frog,


so that's who Jack is, thanks!


----------



## Raeven

"Quickest route," replied


----------



## Guest

the savvy amphibian


----------



## arcticow

. Boats slowed Jack,


----------



## Raeven

his irritation evident,


----------



## arcticow

the motor roared.


----------



## Jaclynne

"Rather hop a....


----------



## Guest

floating log to


----------



## Jaclynne

city sanitation station."


----------



## kentuckyhippie

then fell overboard


----------



## Guest

into the arms


----------



## Guest

of dearest Desmond!!!!!


----------



## Jaclynne

The muscular kilt


----------



## Raeven

-wearing idiot dropped


----------



## vicker

His mullet sandwich


----------



## Raeven

into Jack's mouth


----------



## catspjamas

"mmmmm, mullet sammich"


----------



## Guest

Hazlenut looked on


----------



## Guest

in total disgust !


----------



## arcticow

Oswald slept fitfully,


----------



## arcticow

as gnomes gathered.


----------



## Jaclynne

Mumbled chanting wafted


----------



## catspjamas

Through the dark


----------



## Jaclynne

eerily reminiscent of


----------



## Raeven

badgers savaging popsicles


----------



## Jaclynne

"MMmmbllllllllllllllllllllllllllllewschermmblessscherblebum" grew increasingly


----------



## catspjamas

Loud and effervescent


----------



## Raeven

, impossible to ignore.


----------



## Jaclynne

Trying to descern


----------



## vicker

roast goat meat


----------



## Jaclynne

from smoked lamb


----------



## Raeven

, Oswald awoke uneasily


----------



## arcticow

,brandishing a flyswatter.


----------



## Guest

he waded in


----------



## Raeven

to do battle!


----------



## arcticow

knee-deep ice water


----------



## Jaclynne

and chanting gnomes


----------



## Raeven

-- where was Desmond??


----------



## Jaclynne

Oswald called, "Desmond"


----------



## Guest

Hazlenut cried pitiously.


----------



## arcticow

Oswald carried her


----------



## Raeven

to nearby raspberries


----------



## Guest

Together with Jack,


----------



## Guest

they ate greedily,


----------



## Jaclynne

away from the


----------



## arcticow

gore of battle


----------



## arcticow

as Desmond desperately


----------



## Guest

fought off gnomes !


----------



## arcticow

"Backs together!" Desmond


----------



## Raeven

cried out, desperately!


----------



## Guest

All at once,


----------



## Raeven

Hazelnut used her


----------



## arcticow

hideous gastro gas


----------



## arcticow

and her hooves,


----------



## arcticow

Jack lashed out


----------



## arcticow

with his tongue!


----------



## Raeven

(That was scary!)


----------



## arcticow

Gnomes fled forever!!


----------



## vicker

To the butcher


----------



## vicker

's Dominican Jew customer


----------



## vicker

Needed one tender


----------



## vicker

anthropomorphic female goat,


----------



## vicker

skinned and dressed.


----------



## vicker

Gently with his


----------



## vicker

Knife, Desmond slit


----------



## vicker

Peanut's furry throat,


----------



## Raeven

"Stop!!!" cried Oswald!!


----------



## vicker

capturing the blood


----------



## Raeven

"Awww, nuts. Too


----------



## vicker

in a porcelain


----------



## Raeven

late," he whimpered.


----------



## vicker

bowl. Something to


----------



## vicker

remember her by,


----------



## vicker

blood pudding. "Yum!",


----------



## Raeven

Oswald hid tears.


----------



## vicker

Desmond whispered, grinning.


----------



## Raeven

With a gun,


----------



## Raeven

Oswald killed Desmond.


----------



## Raeven

"Jerk," he sneered.


----------



## Raeven

"No more kilts!!"


----------



## vicker

Desmond died smiling,


----------



## vicker

pieless and broke.


----------



## Jaclynne

Jack, stunned silent,


----------



## Raeven

licked his eyebrows.


----------



## Jaclynne

looked about fearfully.


----------



## vicker

feared his anthropomorphic


----------



## Jaclynne

(oops! Obviously, he was scared!)


----------



## Raeven

protecting his legs.


----------



## vicker

Appreciating the fragility


----------



## Raeven

, licketysplit, he hastened


----------



## vicker

to cover his


----------



## Raeven

health insurance premiums.


----------



## catspjamas

Reaching deep into


----------



## vicker

his amphibian pockets


----------



## vicker

, finding only a


----------



## katydidagain

waited for flies


----------



## vicker

winged insect, he


----------



## katydidagain

knew where to


----------



## catspjamas

send his condolences


----------



## vicker

932 Monterey Drive.


----------



## katydidagain

Where I live....


----------



## catspjamas

in dark shadows


----------



## katydidagain

where there are


----------



## vicker

pink pajamas and


----------



## katydidagain

pink curlers that


----------



## vicker

doubled as vibrating


----------



## catspjamas

brain wave transmitters


----------



## vicker

That repeatedly transmitted,


----------



## catspjamas

"it's so confusing!"


----------



## catspjamas

Jack plugged in


----------



## vicker

his slimy green


----------



## catspjamas

sonic zit zapper


----------



## vicker

zapped himself, and


----------



## vicker

vanished into mist.


----------



## catspjamas

Meanwhile, Oswald was


----------



## vicker

into blissful obscurity


----------



## vicker

and other unspeakable


----------



## catspjamas

acts of depravity.


----------



## vicker

Thankfully he had


----------



## catspjamas

chosen to go


----------



## vicker

cowboy and needn't


----------



## catspjamas

a change of


----------



## vicker

drawers and such.


----------



## catspjamas

Contemplating his choices,


----------



## vicker

smoked mullet spread,


----------



## catspjamas

onions and okra,


----------



## farmerj

hushpuppies and catfish


----------



## catspjamas

or hot dogs


----------



## vicker

He chose hotdogs.


----------



## Raeven

"Poor, lonely Hazelnut,"


----------



## Jaclynne

cabbage loving Juan


----------



## arcticow

lamented through tears.


----------



## catspjamas

"Lovely Juanita has


----------



## arcticow

sold my cabbages!!!"


----------



## catspjamas

"And run off


----------



## arcticow

with our burro."


----------



## kentuckyhippie

suddenly he heard


----------



## vicker

a c-130 gunship


----------



## catspjamas

which was odd


----------



## Raeven

, considering their location


----------



## Guest

in a rice paddy


----------



## Guest

under a cammo


----------



## Raeven

with attractive accessories.


----------



## arcticow

Juan missed the


----------



## arcticow

cabbages and burro!


----------



## vicker

Somewhere near Savannah


----------



## Raeven

, danger lurked ominously.


----------



## Raeven

With Desmond gone,


----------



## vicker

Trenton, NJ sounded good.


----------



## Raeven

Hazelnut looked confused.


----------



## vicker

But, smelling gunpowder


----------



## Raeven

, she swallowed her


----------



## vicker

goat headedness and


----------



## Raeven

went meekly along.


----------



## Guest

Obviously not realizing


----------



## Guest

that her throat


----------



## Guest

had been cut


----------



## Guest

4 pages ago!!!!


----------



## Raeven

(ROFL, that was PEANUT!!!)


----------



## Raeven

(Too many goat nuts in this story... so to speak... now there's only one -- and the frog is vaporized, too.  )


----------



## vicker

Hazelnut quietly agreed,


----------



## vicker

wishing no trouble.


----------



## Raeven

She secretly hated


----------



## Raeven

Oswald for killing


----------



## vicker

goats for meat,


----------



## vicker

a typical vegetarian.


----------



## Raeven

(Goats ARE vegetarians.)


----------



## vicker

Typically yes, but


----------



## Raeven

Peanut -- her SISTER!!


----------



## vicker

goat from Jersey


----------



## Raeven

. After three days,


----------



## vicker

Of constant bickering


----------



## kentuckyhippie

she needed therapy


----------



## Raeven

. Drying her tears,


----------



## Raeven

she sallied forth


----------



## vicker

with a fifth.


----------



## Raeven

Jersey within reach.


----------



## vicker

Shady green fields


----------



## Raeven

... "What exit?" echoed


----------



## vicker

Oswald. "Please avoid


----------



## vicker

giro sandwich shops",


----------



## Raeven

"And Atlantic City,"


----------



## Raeven

added Hazelnut, wisely.


----------



## vicker

Nodding in approval,


----------



## Raeven

they looked around.


----------



## vicker

Wanting piercings & tattoos


----------



## Raeven

, Legendary tattoo artist


----------



## vicker

Wando the Gypsy


----------



## Raeven

, corner of Shadygrove


----------



## vicker

And Devine. Well


----------



## vicker

Known for piercing


----------



## vicker

goat nipples and


----------



## Raeven

tattooing haunches with


----------



## vicker

dead relatives' names


----------



## Raeven

"Peanut," with hearts.


----------



## vicker

Vicker sighed, "Beautiful!".


----------



## vicker

Oswald decided on


----------



## Raeven

a vulgar naked


----------



## vicker

rooster on his


----------



## Raeven

inner left thigh.


----------



## Raeven

"Cock-a-doodle do!" he


----------



## vicker

also chose four


----------



## vicker

barbells for Hazelnut's


----------



## Raeven

dainty ankles. Lastly,


----------



## vicker

Wando tattooed "Wild


----------



## Raeven

and Crazy Goats


----------



## Raeven

Forever in Sisterhood!"


----------



## vicker

" on Oswald's buns.


----------



## Raeven

"That's gonna hurt,"


----------



## Raeven

Hazelnut smiled inwardly.


----------



## vicker

Licking her barbells.


----------



## vicker

Sadly,running out


----------



## vicker

Of ink, Oswald's


----------



## vicker

tattoo actually read,


----------



## vicker

"Wild and crazy


----------



## vicker

Go" which made


----------



## Raeven

Hazelnut somewhat annoyed.


----------



## vicker

They'd need return


----------



## Raeven

tickets from Tallahassee


----------



## vicker

For more ink.


----------



## Raeven

Done for now,


----------



## vicker

adventure awaited tomorrow.


----------



## Guest

in downtown Newark.


----------



## Guest

knowing that Peanut


----------



## arcticow

had committed suicide


----------



## Guest

in post 321


----------



## arcticow

then was killed


----------



## Guest

later by Desmond,


----------



## arcticow

Hazelnut's mind spun!!


----------



## Guest

She became psychotic


----------



## arcticow

,assuming Peanut's identity.


----------



## catspjamas

Oswald, whimpering, backed


----------



## kentuckyhippie

into a stripclub


----------



## vicker

, received $30 and


----------



## vicker

continued backing. Naked


----------



## vicker

girls threw money


----------



## catspjamas

and shook their


----------



## Jaclynne

tassels at him.


----------



## arcticow

used coffee filters


----------



## catspjamas

were scattered about


----------



## Jaclynne

the oriental rugs


----------



## arcticow

leaving horrible stains.


----------



## vicker

The girls slowly,


----------



## vicker

provocatively, dressed to


----------



## vicker

strange noisy rhythms.


----------



## catspjamas

Oswald grabbed his


----------



## Guest

copy of Newsweek


----------



## doodlemom

pretending to read


----------



## catspjamas

ignoring Hazelnut completely.


----------



## Raeven

Hazelnut, now psychotic,


----------



## Guest

began gathering nuts.


----------



## Guest

saying to herself,


----------



## Guest

"Hazel is nuts"


----------



## Raeven

"I like peanuts!"


----------



## Raeven

Bystanders were nervous.


----------



## Guest

but couldn't stop


----------



## Guest

A goat expert


----------



## Raeven

from taking liberties


----------



## Guest

much like momma


----------



## Raeven

Cass and sandwiches.


----------



## Rick

never could resist.


----------



## Raeven

a good Reuben.


----------



## Guest

with well-endowed


----------



## Rick

Cass and sandwiches,


----------



## Raeven

Hazelnut eating peanuts,


----------



## Guest

mounds of mustard.


----------



## Raeven

Oswald looked on


----------



## Guest

Appearing unconcerned, ( a free word for the next person, since I only used two of mine. You'll thank me later)


----------



## Guest

wondering how he


----------



## Raeven

was the owner of (using zong's extra word -- hey, thanks!)


----------



## arcticow

such a tormented


----------



## Raeven

poor, tattooed goat.


----------



## arcticow

Meanwhile, poor Juan


----------



## Guest

unicorn(2 free words for someone, what next??)


----------



## arcticow

substituting for the burro,


----------



## Raeven

(You don't appreciate our powers of editing, zong...)

yearning for cabbages,


----------



## Guest

And cheese(another word. Years ago I was assured that only I could edit a post. What, I'm no longer the golden boy?)


----------



## arcticow

rode thru the


----------



## arcticow

Blustery, cold night


----------



## Raeven

, which ultimately led


----------



## Guest

editing his posts


----------



## Guest

which led to(editing his posts)


----------



## Guest

which ultimately (led to editing his posts)


----------



## Raeven

, and an appetite


----------



## arcticow

for cabbage and


----------



## Guest

for mealworms(free word for someone)


----------



## Raeven

Newport menthol cigarettes, and (thanks, zong!)


----------



## Guest

old coffee beans.


----------



## Guest

and a partridge.


----------



## arcticow

. An ancient mission


----------



## Guest

reeking of mildew,


----------



## arcticow

loomed before him!


----------



## Guest

nothing is revealed


----------



## Guest

except thousands of


----------



## arcticow

wiggling, crawling scorpions


----------



## Raeven

(Hazelnut lifted feet!)


----------



## Guest

Juan ran screaming


----------



## arcticow

Unicorns hate scorpions!


----------



## Guest

Hazlenut just giggled.


----------



## vicker

maniacally, while licking


----------



## Raeven

her ruffled coat,


----------



## Guest

so well concealed


----------



## Raeven

were her tattoos,


----------



## Guest

pornographic in nature


----------



## Raeven

-- but nonetheless tasteful! --


----------



## Guest

among the cabbages.


----------



## Guest

Even Marky Mark?


----------



## Raeven

... wasn't it dinnertime?


----------



## Raeven

Juanita returned from


----------



## Guest

Marky Mark's lovenest


----------



## Raeven

to prepare aebleskivers


----------



## Guest

for goat bigamists


----------



## Raeven

. The Mayor of


----------



## Guest

Gotham(Commissioner Gordon)


----------



## Raeven

fired Batman and


----------



## Guest

Peanut took over!!


----------



## Raeven

(A massive improvement!!)


----------



## Raeven

(Except Peanut died.)


----------



## Guest

Life is impermanent


----------



## Raeven

As shadows deepened,


----------



## Guest

And Poe awakened..


----------



## catspjamas

Hazelnut cried softly,


----------



## Raeven

yearning for home.


----------



## catspjamas

"There's no place


----------



## Guest

like Boston in


----------



## catspjamas

an alternate universe.


----------



## Guest

Except Anti Boston


----------



## Raeven

-- where lost socks


----------



## Guest

became famous when


----------



## Guest

they ran away


----------



## Raeven

disappeared into anonymity.


----------



## Guest

(disappeared into argyle-ity)


----------



## Guest

and were eaten


----------



## vicker

Hmmm  by Amherst lesbians


----------



## Guest

Cannibal Socter(thus equalizing your extra word)


----------



## Guest

as a delicacy.


----------



## vicker

Fraternity sisters from


----------



## Guest

Too much editing!!(a small town in Massachusetts)


----------



## catspjamas

Mars.


----------



## vicker

spoils the stew


----------



## catspjamas

Throw it out.


----------



## Raeven

Next stop: Reno.


----------



## Guest

a goat haven


----------



## vicker

In the desert.


----------



## Raeven

of notable fame!


----------



## Guest

Goat hookers everywhere!!


----------



## Raeven

Hazelnut yearned for


----------



## Guest

simpler times, when


----------



## catspjamas

cabbages and Peanut


----------



## vicker

hot and wild


----------



## Guest

(wouldn't you be?)


----------



## Raeven

She looked under


----------



## Guest

(excesses of parentheses)


----------



## catspjamas

the poker tables


----------



## vicker

on Wikipedia expecting


----------



## catspjamas

to learn if


----------



## Raeven

roulette was profitable.


----------



## catspjamas

Money was needed


----------



## vicker

as seed for


----------



## catspjamas

the gold prospecting


----------



## vicker

at the casinos.


----------



## arcticow

Juan awoke in


----------



## arcticow

a cabbage field


----------



## arcticow

with the unicorn,


----------



## catspjamas

with lovely Juanita


----------



## catspjamas

standing over them


----------



## Jaclynne

whispering spells from


----------



## Raeven

an aged book


----------



## arcticow

Grimm's Fairy Tales.


----------



## Raeven

Squinting, Juan saw


----------



## Raeven

"Betty Crocker's Best!"


----------



## Guest

sweet cabbage rolls


----------



## Jaclynne

and thought of


----------



## arcticow

Heaven itself, blissfully


----------



## Guest

eating every roll!!!


----------



## Raeven

coleslaw, sauerkraut, gingered --


----------



## arcticow

cabbage all ways!


----------



## arcticow

In faraway Cleveland,


----------



## Raeven

a red dragon


----------



## arcticow

circled its mistress


----------



## arcticow

with its siblings.


----------



## arcticow

The Winter Princess


----------



## Raeven

called the cops


----------



## Guest

while Hazelnut babbled.


----------



## vicker

Pigs and ran.


----------



## arcticow

The Fae were


----------



## arcticow

watching all this


----------



## arcticow

in unhappy astonishment.


----------



## catspjamas

All seemed lost,


----------



## Guest

until Hazelnut was


----------



## Guest

cured by fae


----------



## Guest

of her psychosis


----------



## Raeven

The world rejoiced!


----------



## arcticow

Gnomes were banished


----------



## doodlemom

Hip Hip Hooray!


----------



## arcticow

to gardens forever!


----------



## arcticow

Juan ate kimchi,


----------



## arcticow

isolating himself totally.


----------



## Guest

from all creatures.


----------



## Guest

Oswald began a


----------



## Guest

new life in


----------



## Raeven

Fargo, North Dakota.


----------



## arcticow

beautiful downtown Cleveland


----------



## Raeven

He divided his


----------



## Raeven

time between these


----------



## Raeven

two splendid places.


----------



## arcticow

Fairie folk rejoiced.


----------



## Guest

Hazelnut pranced about


----------



## Raeven

moving along, they


----------



## Guest

formed a line


----------



## Guest

upwind of Juan.


----------



## Raeven

Spying an amusement


----------



## vicker

park very near


----------



## Raeven

"Ooooh!!! A rollercoaster!!"


----------



## catspjamas

Tickets please!


----------



## Guest

The Fae ordinarily


----------



## Guest

didn't like rollercoasters.


----------



## Guest

and balked at


----------



## Guest

stepping over the


----------



## Guest

cold iron tracks!


----------



## vicker

Serge, the carny


----------



## arcticow

laid straw over


----------



## Raeven

the tracks, so


----------



## Guest

nicely, thinking that


----------



## Guest

would be satisfactory.


----------



## Guest

The Fae left.


----------



## Jaclynne

Looking for Myrlene


----------



## Jaclynne

,her former stallmate,


----------



## Jaclynne

to join the


----------



## Jaclynne

gold mining expedition.


----------



## vicker

Ugo, Sardinian Governor,


----------



## arcticow

led sardines justly.


----------



## vicker

Expecting only hard


----------



## Raeven

ship and pain,


----------



## arcticow

the can was


----------



## Raeven

nonetheless empty, as


----------



## vicker

Oswald shook it.


----------



## Guest

in downtown Cleveland


----------



## Raeven

, scowling at Ugo,


----------



## vicker

Delmont Stinehiefer loaded


----------



## Raeven

pitiful old chickens


----------



## Guest

onto the backs


----------



## Guest

of his oxen


----------



## vicker

Dude and Deed


----------



## kentuckyhippie

someone called PETA


----------



## vicker

a bunch of


----------



## Raeven

mayhem and madness


----------



## vicker

loving, manure sniffing


----------



## vicker

pot snorting hippies


----------



## Raeven

. The moment passed.


----------



## vicker

Thankfully, no one


----------



## Raeven

suffered blood-letting.


----------



## vicker

And the chickens


----------



## Raeven

all sang Kumbaya.


----------



## vicker

After safely arriving


----------



## vicker

at stinehiefer's Henhospice


----------



## Raeven

back in Cleveland,


----------



## vicker

world renown hen


----------



## Raeven

hospital, but AKA


----------



## Raeven

Kentucky Fried Chicken.


----------



## vicker

a hub of


----------



## vicker

Under Hen Railroad.


----------



## Raeven

Oswald was puzzled.


----------



## vicker

Canadians for Chickens


----------



## vicker

tried recruiting Oswald


----------



## Raeven

-- he was torn!


----------



## vicker

Can a goat


----------



## vicker

Loving man conduct ( haha!)


----------



## Raeven

himself with honor


----------



## vicker

With lowly chickens?


----------



## vicker

Time and media


----------



## catspjamas

would finally tell


----------



## arcticow

the story of


----------



## arcticow

mushroom farming elves


----------



## vicker

Again, children cheered


----------



## catspjamas

, women swooned, and


----------



## vicker

chickens pecked contentedly.


----------



## catspjamas

Hazelnut stamped her


----------



## doingitmyself

ample chestyness flowing


----------



## vicker

effervescently amid blooming


----------



## kentuckyhippie

vowing celibateness forever


----------



## vicker

while masticating madly


----------



## arcticow

. Mushrooms, Hazelnut's weakness,


----------



## SimplerTimez

sprang from amongst


----------



## vicker

the cockleburs and


----------



## arcticow

every shady niche.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Darn punctuation...

Providing ample shade,


----------



## arcticow

gigantic ragweed plants


----------



## catspjamas

caused massive sneezing


----------



## Jaclynne

and itchy extremeties


----------



## catspjamas

only soothed by


----------



## vicker

Yana's famous balm.


----------



## Jaclynne

Eggyolk helped too.


----------



## arcticow

Delmont, Oswald, and


----------



## arcticow

Hazelnut knocked at


----------



## arcticow

the wizard's door.


----------



## Guest

looking for an


----------



## arcticow

enchanted sweet potato


----------



## Guest

They had heard


----------



## Guest

about magical gardening,


----------



## Guest

and increased yield


----------



## arcticow

caused by singing


----------



## arcticow

to the magic


----------



## arcticow

sweet potato in


----------



## arcticow

a Sindarin dialect.


----------



## Jaclynne

Delmont spoke Sindarin


----------



## Jaclynne

but he couldn't


----------



## Jaclynne

sing without holding


----------



## vicker

that darn yam.


----------



## Guest

That's why it


----------



## vicker

Was so imperative


----------



## Guest

to wear gloves


----------



## arcticow

"Oh great lumpy


----------



## arcticow

root of magic!"


----------



## arcticow

Delmont sang softly...


----------



## vicker

while softly cradling


----------



## Jaclynne

and flexing his


----------



## arcticow

his vocal cords.


----------



## Guest

A crowd gathered.


----------



## vicker

A barely perceptible


----------



## arcticow

chant was heard


----------



## arcticow

like beehives humming


----------



## catspjamas

"Who is Delmont?"


----------



## vicker

, and the clapping


----------



## Jaclynne

commenced. The wizard


----------



## Jaclynne

intoned, "I asked


----------



## doingitmyself

wth just happened?


----------



## arcticow

The crowd murmured


----------



## Jaclynne

Delmont sang louder


----------



## arcticow

, the magic yam


----------



## arcticow

began to glow,


----------



## vicker

on one side


----------



## arcticow

. The air crackled


----------



## vicker

like old newspaper,


----------



## doingitmyself

then a flame


----------



## vicker

shot from Delmont's


----------



## Guest

chickens, see 1119


----------



## arcticow

. Earthworms rose to


----------



## arcticow

dance just above


----------



## arcticow

the earth's surface.


----------



## Guest

playing miniature flutes.


----------



## arcticow

Thus, the soil


----------



## arcticow

and all things


----------



## arcticow

therein were renewed!!


----------



## Raeven

A disagreeable odor


----------



## Guest

suddenly was apparent.


----------



## Raeven

Looking embarrassed,


----------



## arcticow

and Oswald's sheepish


----------



## Raeven

Basset hounds wept.


----------



## arcticow

Bowels were quaking...


----------



## arcticow

Terrified folks fled.


----------



## vicker

, tragically not fast


----------



## Raeven

Might be prudent


----------



## arcticow

to evacuate quickly.


----------



## Raeven

Oswald considered foregoing


----------



## Raeven

Chinese food altogether.


----------



## arcticow

Confucius say, PLEASE!


----------



## Raeven

Fortunately, his fortune


----------



## arcticow

cookie told him


----------



## arcticow

to stay away


----------



## arcticow

from elvish ceremonies.


----------



## Raeven

Wistfully, he remembered


----------



## arcticow

bygone halcyon days


----------



## Raeven

, juggling credit cards


----------



## arcticow

while whistling arias


----------



## Raeven

and admiring his


----------



## kentuckyhippie

reflection in windows


----------



## Raeven

, Oswald's resolve stiffened.


----------



## Raeven

Once and for


----------



## Guest

all of eternity


----------



## Guest

to stay in


----------



## Guest

Fargo, North Dakota !!!


----------



## vicker

Despite his mother's


----------



## Guest

living in Cleveland


----------



## vicker

in a dumpster.


----------



## catspjamas

Hazelnut is expecting


----------



## Guest

to find happiness,


----------



## Raeven

reunited with Myrlene


----------



## catspjamas

and leaving Fargo


----------



## Raeven

along with Oswald


----------



## catspjamas

to sunny shores


----------



## Raeven

of Salton Sea.


----------



## vicker

Stowing away on


----------



## Raeven

an ungainly barge,


----------



## catspjamas

the threesome found


----------



## vicker

adequate berth amidships


----------



## vicker

and settled in.


----------



## vicker

The captain, a


----------



## vicker

spraddle legged Liberian,


----------



## vicker

former Basque shepherd,


----------



## vicker

bearded, one eyed


----------



## vicker

amante de cabra.


----------



## catspjamas

A fun guy!


----------



## Jaclynne

The captain was


----------



## Jaclynne

hot!! Sweat dripped


----------



## Jaclynne

from his low


----------



## Jaclynne

swarthy brow, rivulets


----------



## Jaclynne

tracing tracks along


----------



## Raeven

his pouty mouth (and)


----------



## Jaclynne

his heavy jowl.


----------



## Jaclynne

His beady black


----------



## Raeven

buckshot was poised


----------



## Jaclynne

he glanced right


----------



## Raeven

-- which was dangerous


----------



## Jaclynne

since he only


----------



## Raeven

had tunnel vision.


----------



## Raeven

He was looking


----------



## Jaclynne

,across the bridge


----------



## Raeven

at poor Hazelnut.


----------



## Jaclynne

"She's lovely!", mooned


----------



## Raeven

Oswald, dumb brute


----------



## Raeven

that he was,


----------



## Jaclynne

"Aye, she is


----------



## Raeven

in grave peril!"


----------



## Jaclynne

agreed the captain.


----------



## Raeven

cried the Captain,


----------



## Raeven

"Goat stew for


----------



## Jaclynne

supper!" he mumbled.


----------



## Raeven

Oswald's eyes widened


----------



## Jaclynne

Sharpening his razor


----------



## Raeven

Hazelnut fled to


----------



## Jaclynne

on his stump


----------



## Jaclynne

leg she stole


----------



## Raeven

into the woods.


----------



## Jaclynne

She galloped farther


----------



## Jaclynne

than was safe.


----------



## Raeven

Ironically, saving herself!


----------



## Jaclynne

The surprised captain


----------



## Raeven

turned to Oswald,


----------



## vicker

With laughing eye


----------



## Jaclynne

, and large red


----------



## vicker

print Thompson's Bible,


----------



## vicker

lithely turning to


----------



## vicker

Psalms 28 2


----------



## Jaclynne

Before he quoted


----------



## vicker

Then the one


----------



## vicker

legged man twerked


----------



## vicker

That innocent goat!


----------



## vicker

, chanting , "I am


----------



## vicker

Amante de Cabra!!".


----------



## vicker

Hazelnut blushed modestly,


----------



## vicker

ruminating Witch Hazel


----------



## vicker

leaves, twigs and


----------



## vicker

Psalms 28 2.


----------



## Jaclynne

Myrlene was aghast!


----------



## vicker

quickly gathering the


----------



## Jaclynne

the skanky captain's


----------



## vicker

pantaloons and black


----------



## vicker

(I can't believe y'all made the captain skanky  )


----------



## vicker

book of poetry.


----------



## vicker

His favorite being


----------



## vicker

The Little Shepherdess


----------



## vicker

by Roberson Jeffers.


----------



## vicker

He went willingly,


----------



## Jaclynne

(Sorry, only skanks twerk)

Myrlene escaped with


----------



## Jaclynne

the embarrassed Hazelnut


----------



## Jaclynne

in the opposite


----------



## vicker

of good sense


----------



## Jaclynne

wearing the pantaloons.


----------



## vicker

on anti twerking


----------



## vicker

radio shows, yeah.


----------



## vicker

Secretly they twerked


----------



## vicker

, when drying themselves,


----------



## vicker

picking green beans,


----------



## vicker

Checking for eggs,


----------



## vicker

folding laundry and


----------



## vicker

Scrambling fresh eggs.


----------



## Jaclynne

reciting poetry from


----------



## vicker

Old Methodist hymnals


----------



## Jaclynne

with tattered books


----------



## Jaclynne

they made glue.


----------



## vicker

twerkingly stirring the


----------



## vicker

gelatinous brew, lasciviously.


----------



## vicker

They giggled knowingly


----------



## vicker

delighted by their


----------



## Jaclynne

skanky behavior. But


----------



## vicker

unintended (wink wink nudge nudge) skanky skankiness.


----------



## vicker

Jaclynne said:


> skanky behavior. But


they still didn't


----------



## Jaclynne

want to go


----------



## vicker

anywhere they didn't


----------



## Jaclynne

(twerk)on public tv.


----------



## vicker

agree to go.


----------



## Jaclynne

So many choices,


----------



## vicker

Justino ( the Captain) laughed heartily.


----------



## vicker

One eyed peeper


----------



## vicker

that he was,


----------



## vicker

he saw clearly.


----------



## Jaclynne

And planned to


----------



## Jaclynne

use this knowledge


----------



## Jaclynne

against the (sort of)innocent


----------



## Jaclynne

girly goat friends.


----------



## vicker

going fishing Monday.


----------



## Jaclynne

at the sinkhole


----------



## Jaclynne

that just formed


----------



## Jaclynne

in the neighborhood


----------



## Jaclynne

behind Piggly Wigglys.


----------



## Raeven

The weather was


----------



## wannabechef

Cold and windy

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy Tab 2


----------



## Raeven

, the sinkhole yawned


----------



## Guest

Hazelnut awoke from


----------



## Guest

the awful nightmare


----------



## Guest

with a vague


----------



## Guest

remembrance of a


----------



## Guest

lecherous sea captain.


----------



## Guest

and a gaping sinkhole!


----------



## Raeven

Where were they


----------



## Raeven

going to, again?


----------



## Guest

Into the woods


----------



## Guest

strolled Oswald, Myrlene


----------



## Guest

and Hazelnut


----------



## Guest

as they left


----------



## Guest

Fargo, land of


----------



## Guest

nightmarish twerking dreams.


----------



## Raeven

New adventures awaited!


----------



## doingitmyself

the werewolf stalking


----------



## Guest

them, was in


----------



## Guest

reality, a big


----------



## catspjamas

lonely, sad dog


----------



## Guest

sissy named Bruce.


----------



## catspjamas

Bruce was looking


----------



## arcticow

for a groomer


----------



## Guest

His matted fur


----------



## catspjamas

caked with mud


----------



## arcticow

bothered him terribly!


----------



## catspjamas

from mud wrestling


----------



## arcticow

with Aussie shepherds


----------



## Jaclynne

and tiny treefrogs.


----------



## catspjamas

If only Bruce,


----------



## arcticow

could feel clean...


----------



## vicker

like the clean


----------



## Raeven

of Clorox Bleach,


----------



## vicker

or spring fresh


----------



## Raeven

Dawn&#8482; dishwashing detergent --


----------



## Raeven

he wasn't picky


----------



## vicker

just dirty feeling.


----------



## Guest

The trio in


----------



## Guest

the woods spotted


----------



## Guest

Bruce, and waving,


----------



## Raeven

held their noses.


----------



## Guest

Bruce was chagrined.


----------



## Raeven

Head hung low,


----------



## Raeven

tears dripped down


----------



## Jaclynne

he drug his


----------



## Jaclynne

paws in shame.


----------



## arcticow

Just then, the


----------



## arcticow

Dawn fairy waved


----------



## arcticow

her wand and


----------



## Jaclynne

a fresh breeze


----------



## arcticow

Bruce was immaculate!


----------



## Jaclynne

Ahhh, magic! Bruce


----------



## Jaclynne

was happy and


----------



## Raeven

, luxuriant fur gleaming,


----------



## Jaclynne

he thought of


----------



## Guest

finally being accepted


----------



## arcticow

for who he


----------



## Tommyice

was before the


----------



## vicker

hard times descended


----------



## Guest

upon the forest.


----------



## Raeven

Against the voracious


----------



## arcticow

grasshopper mouse hoards


----------



## vicker

of late yesteryear.


----------



## arcticow

which savaged insects


----------



## Guest

and dried up


----------



## Guest

the forest waterfalls


----------



## Guest

which kept all


----------



## arcticow

the creatures from


----------



## arcticow

getting to know


----------



## arcticow

Bruce. The trio


----------



## arcticow

approached him cautiously


----------



## Raeven

, with ham sandwiches


----------



## Tommyice

with Gruyere cheese


----------



## Raeven

. Bruce licked his


----------



## Tommyice

(this could be where this thread finally gets banned--I can't write it) LOL


----------



## Raeven

(ROFL!!!!!! Be-have...... <Church Lady voice>)


----------



## Tommyice

(fine fine)

Good Humor Bomb Pop

(sorry but I couldn't break up Good Humor's branding)


----------



## Raeven

(We'll think of it as BombPop, how's that?)

resembling ladies' lipstick


----------



## Raeven

on his lips.


----------



## Tommyice

(nothing to add other than laughing so hard I think I'm crying)


----------



## Raeven

He loved his


----------



## Raeven

new friends more


----------



## Jaclynne

than good sense


----------



## Jaclynne

or pecan waffles.


----------



## Raeven

With boysenberry syrup!


----------



## wannabechef

On a plate

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy Tab 2


----------



## Raeven

With thick-sliced baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-con!


----------



## catspjamas

Breakfast must wait,


----------



## Raeven

because we digress...


----------



## vicker

Absentmindedly, he scratched


----------



## Raeven

his tender ears.


----------



## vicker

, sniffing the air.


----------



## Raeven

Oswald offered sandwiches


----------



## Jaclynne

Tying a bib


----------



## vicker

of righteousness around


----------



## catspjamas

the long slender


----------



## vicker

neck of the


----------



## vicker

benevolent, honorable canine.


----------



## Raeven

"Enjoy your sandwiches!"


----------



## Raeven

Hazelnut exclaimed, happily.


----------



## vicker

(I forgot the dog's name ) loved sandwiches,


----------



## vicker

especially on crusty


----------



## Raeven

<stage whisper> Bruce!

sesame seed rolls.


----------



## vicker

with melted feta,


----------



## Raeven

(Does feta melt?)


----------



## vicker

(Of course) and fresh arugula.


----------



## Raeven

Hazelnut bit her


----------



## vicker

tongue, initiating blue


----------



## vicker

language that created


----------



## vicker

dark thunderclouds on


----------



## Raeven

the distant horizon.


----------



## vicker

Bruce couldn't stop


----------



## Raeven

snorfling the sandwiches,


----------



## vicker

his tail beating


----------



## Raeven

a lively staccato


----------



## vicker

, his sparkling eyes


----------



## Raeven

filled with gratitude.


----------



## Raeven

Oblivious to the


----------



## vicker

gathering clouds. Bruce


----------



## vicker

HATED thunder. At


----------



## Raeven

one o'clock sharp,


----------



## vicker

just as Bruce


----------



## Raeven

the deluge commenced.


----------



## vicker

The first crack


----------



## Raeven

ignited and burned


----------



## vicker

a path right


----------



## vicker

to Bruce's tender


----------



## vicker

-box, igniting his


----------



## vicker

powder horn, sending


----------



## vicker

the stopper bulleting


----------



## Raeven

into Oswald's tattoo.


----------



## vicker

The nearby spring


----------



## vicker

( Hazelnut owes you her life )


----------



## Raeven

was immediately occupied.

(I know -- I had to be quick!!)


----------



## vicker

The thunder rumbled


----------



## Raeven

with prescient undertones


----------



## vicker

and Bruce vanished,


----------



## vicker

leaving only a


----------



## Raeven

barely heard burp.


----------



## vicker

a trail of


----------



## vicker

dribbled urine and,


----------



## Raeven

melted feta cheese.


----------



## vicker

Silence descended, ominously


----------



## Raeven

portending hinky happenings


----------



## vicker

hopefully having horrendous


----------



## Raeven

helpful Hazelnut karma.


----------



## catspjamas

Ah, sweet rain


----------



## catspjamas

that cooled the


----------



## catspjamas

fevered brow of


----------



## vicker

Wilhelmina, wickedly rubbing


----------



## Raeven

(Ok, now you're just showing off.)


----------



## catspjamas

the magical beans


----------



## vicker

Bruce had in


----------



## Raeven

his leather boot.


----------



## Raeven

(I thought you made Bruce disappear!!??)


----------



## vicker

( he ran to Wilhelmina.)


----------



## vicker

that he carefully


----------



## catspjamas

:stars:


----------



## Raeven

(Ah.)


----------



## vicker

cleaned regularly, wether


----------



## catspjamas

they needed it


----------



## vicker

or not, pleasingly


----------



## catspjamas

robust and hearty


----------



## vicker

magic beans respond


----------



## catspjamas

with soft toots


----------



## vicker

and florid blushes


----------



## catspjamas

of purple hues.


----------



## catspjamas

Cackling, Wilhelmina points


----------



## vicker

Her knobby knuckle


----------



## vicker

wiping away tears.


----------



## vicker

There was something


----------



## vicker

magical about Bruce's


----------



## vicker

magic beans. She


----------



## vicker

thought she knew


----------



## vicker

what. When held


----------



## vicker

( how do I say this?) masterbatorily, at eye


----------



## vicker

level while facing


----------



## vicker

Marblehead, Massachusetts, on


----------



## vicker

a hill overlooking


----------



## vicker

a Montessori school,


----------



## vicker

sipping rum punch,


----------



## vicker

and singing, " Shall


----------



## vicker

peace ever come"


----------



## vicker

to the tune


----------



## vicker

of Rebel Soldier,


----------



## vicker

on July 3rd


----------



## vicker

at 11:38 pm


----------



## vicker

EST, during a


----------



## vicker

thunder storm, wearing


----------



## vicker

100% hemp clothing,


----------



## vicker

on an empty


----------



## vicker

olive oil can


----------



## vicker

, while chewing tobacco


----------



## vicker

they would give


----------



## vicker

one perfect pitch


----------



## vicker

, understanding of racial


----------



## vicker

differences, the ability


----------



## vicker

To know when


----------



## vicker

catfish are biting,


----------



## vicker

endless comma usage,


----------



## vicker

and, most importantly,


----------



## kentuckyhippie

immunity to goat-farts


----------



## Jaclynne

These were prized


----------



## Jaclynne

gifts to hold,


----------



## Jaclynne

especially if you


----------



## Jaclynne

were a transgender


----------



## Jaclynne

witch in the


----------



## Jaclynne

north east woods,


----------



## Jaclynne

who had trouble


----------



## Jaclynne

finding hats to


----------



## Jaclynne

fit your lopsided


----------



## Jaclynne

head, and clothes


----------



## Jaclynne

to flatter a


----------



## Jaclynne

long-limbed figure.


----------



## Raeven

"Nuts," Wilhelmina muttered.


----------



## vicker

"These make my


----------



## doodlemom

panties bunch up


----------



## vicker

in a most


----------



## Raeven

quite agreeably ticklish


----------



## doodlemom

(not going there).


----------



## Tommyice

moment of enjoyment.


----------



## Raeven

(Nicely done!)

She meant her


----------



## Raeven

candies, not panties,


----------



## Raeven

of course. Peaches


----------



## SimplerTimez

, sweet and juicy


----------



## Raeven

were abundant now,


----------



## catspjamas

Penelope the Peach


----------



## catspjamas

Queen, sang a


----------



## catspjamas

ballad about the


----------



## catspjamas

wonders of peaches.


----------



## catspjamas

Oswald was flabbergasted


----------



## catspjamas

over Penelope's beauty.


----------



## catspjamas

A rare beauty


----------



## Raeven

, a peachy complexion,


----------



## catspjamas

like a '31 Duesenberg,


----------



## Raeven

polished again and


----------



## Jaclynne

low-slung and round-rumped


----------



## Raeven

, looking the part.


----------



## Jaclynne

Oswald had to


----------



## Jaclynne

meet this beauty!


----------



## Jaclynne

But how? Maybe


----------



## Raeven

a special gift...?


----------



## Jaclynne

He could buy


----------



## Jaclynne

a potion from


----------



## Jaclynne

that witch Wilhelmena.


----------



## catspjamas

"It will cost


----------



## catspjamas

dearly, the potion,


----------



## SimplerTimez

uhhhhh, worked rather


----------



## catspjamas

quickly. The price


----------



## catspjamas

is Hazelnut!" Wilhemina


----------



## catspjamas

screeched and cackled.


----------



## Jaclynne

Oswald was torn,


----------



## catspjamas

what could he


----------



## Jaclynne

(Oops)

do now?


----------



## CAjerseychick

but stopped short


----------



## Jaclynne

Hazelnut was family.


----------



## Raeven

Hazelnut's lip quivered


----------



## catspjamas

Penelope smiled at


----------



## catspjamas

Oswald. Oswald couldn't


----------



## catspjamas

resist the sweetness


----------



## Jaclynne

and peachy curves.


----------



## Jaclynne

Still, he hesitated,


----------



## Jaclynne

Penelope batted her


----------



## Jaclynne

long lashes and


----------



## Jaclynne

shrugged the shoulder


----------



## Jaclynne

of her dress


----------



## Jaclynne

lower. Wilhelmina took


----------



## Jaclynne

notice of the


----------



## Jaclynne

dress, wondering if


----------



## Jaclynne

it would fit.


----------



## vicker

A fancy hoe


----------



## vicker

is what Oswald


----------



## vicker

longed for. He


----------



## catspjamas

couldn't decide if


----------



## catspjamas

Hazelnut or Penelope


----------



## catspjamas

would understand why


----------



## catspjamas

a fancy hoe


----------



## catspjamas

would please him.


----------



## vicker

It did matter,


----------



## catspjamas

that the hoe


----------



## vicker

provided a certain


----------



## catspjamas

Je ne sais quoi


----------



## catspjamas

that only a


----------



## vicker

a certain hoe


----------



## vicker

, or any tool


----------



## vicker

for that matter,


----------



## catspjamas

could provide.


----------



## vicker

His first desire


----------



## catspjamas

was to obtain


----------



## Jaclynne

spicy hot mustard,


----------



## vicker

and a wench.


----------



## vicker

A spicy wench


----------



## vicker

would do nicely.


----------



## Jaclynne

Appropriate condiments, or


----------



## Jaclynne

a comely wench?


----------



## Jaclynne

His appetite stirred,


----------



## Jaclynne

Oswald began planning,


----------



## Jaclynne

trouble usually followed.


----------



## Jaclynne

But this time,


----------



## Jaclynne

he'd be more


----------



## Jaclynne

careful and discreet.


----------



## Jaclynne

That's right. No


----------



## Jaclynne

overly loud bellowing,


----------



## Jaclynne

no pounding his


----------



## Jaclynne

chest, or even


----------



## Jaclynne

snapping his fingers


----------



## Jaclynne

this time. He'd


----------



## Jaclynne

be the model


----------



## Jaclynne

of decorum. Yessiree.


----------



## Jaclynne

But what did


----------



## Jaclynne

the model of


----------



## Jaclynne

decorum act like?


----------



## Jaclynne

Oswald wondered. Thinking


----------



## Jaclynne

Bruce would know,


----------



## Jaclynne

Oswald headed off


----------



## Jaclynne

to find him.


----------



## Jaclynne

And Bruce did


----------



## Jaclynne

indeed know. Before


----------



## Jaclynne

his foul stint


----------



## Jaclynne

as a mangy


----------



## Jaclynne

unloved mutt, Bruce


----------



## Jaclynne

had been quite


----------



## Jaclynne

the dapper dog


----------



## Jaclynne

about town, eating


----------



## Jaclynne

beneath the best


----------



## Jaclynne

tables and with


----------



## Jaclynne

well-dressed gents and


----------



## Jaclynne

fine, very fine,


----------



## Jaclynne

ladies. Every long


----------



## Jaclynne

limbed lassie in


----------



## Jaclynne

the district had


----------



## Jaclynne

stroked his luxurient


----------



## Jaclynne

glossy coat. He'd


----------



## Jaclynne

been a favorite,


----------



## Jaclynne

and still remembered


----------



## Jaclynne

how to work


----------



## Jaclynne

the ladies to


----------



## Jaclynne

get what he wanted.


(sorry, I'm using a word I saved several pages back.)


----------



## Jaclynne

"Bruce could help,


----------



## Jaclynne

but where was


----------



## Jaclynne

he?" Oswald wondered.


----------



## arcticow

Waiting for his


----------



## arcticow

singed fur to


----------



## arcticow

re-grow, Bruce hid


----------



## arcticow

quietly inside a


----------



## arcticow

huge hollow tree.


----------



## vicker

, happily chewing birch


----------



## vicker

twigs, periodically dozing.


----------



## vicker

As a dog


----------



## vicker

he felt the


----------



## vicker

buzzing of flies


----------



## vicker

and myriad insects


----------



## vicker

and anthropods grounding.


----------



## arcticow

Also, quite irritating!


----------



## vicker

All was quiet


----------



## vicker

And Bruce was


----------



## vicker

pleased. It was


----------



## vicker

a dog's life,


----------



## vicker

complete with naps,


----------



## vicker

Self belly rubs,


----------



## vicker

and such. WHY


----------



## vicker

Would he want


----------



## vicker

to leave that


----------



## vicker

For a pierced and


----------



## vicker

tattooed, anthropomorphic GOAT!?


----------



## vicker

Of courses the


----------



## vicker

human ladies tried


----------



## vicker

to dress her


----------



## vicker

in various garments,


----------



## vicker

and could never


----------



## vicker

value or appreciate


----------



## vicker

she was a


----------



## vicker

Goat! Hazelnut wanted


----------



## vicker

nothing. Her little


----------



## vicker

brain liked browsing,


----------



## vicker

not exquisite leather


----------



## vicker

gloves, or silk


----------



## vicker

purses. Bruce farted.


----------



## vicker

Hazelnut squatted, tinkling,


----------



## vicker

then, ruminating roughage,


----------



## vicker

thought of self


----------



## vicker

inhalation and giggled,


----------



## vicker

wishing she had


----------



## vicker

opposable thumbs so


----------



## vicker

she could save


----------



## vicker

a human of


----------



## vicker

average intelligence the


----------



## vicker

trouble of ringing


----------



## vicker

her furry little


----------



## vicker

neck. How cruel


----------



## vicker

to put so


----------



## vicker

much on a


----------



## vicker

simple, simple goat.


----------



## vicker

her highest calling


----------



## vicker

was converting cold


----------



## vicker

vegetation into warm


----------



## vicker

terds. But, think


----------



## vicker

of that! Is that


----------



## vicker

not an honorable


----------



## vicker

profession? Isn't it


----------



## vicker

enough to justify,


----------



## vicker

without embellishment, a


----------



## vicker

simple goats existence?


----------



## vicker

Bruce dreamed of


----------



## vicker

rib bones, and


----------



## vicker

of wearing pants


----------



## vicker

like a man.


----------



## vicker

He whined terribly


----------



## kentuckyhippie

when dreaming of


----------



## kentuckyhippie

wearing tighty whities


----------



## Raeven

Tsk. <hands on hips, slowly shaking head while looking around and toeing at the wreckage....> Tsk, tsk, tsk. I'm gone for a week, and look what happens!!? Who knew there were so many dimestore Poppa Hemingways about?

Do we have it all out of our systems? Can we adhere to the simple 'three-words-only-and-then-let-the-next-Twain-have-a-crack-at-this-hot-mess' rule?

Most important question of all... is there any interest in resurrecting this ridiculous thread?  Or shall we let it die the undignified death is has already suffered, and quietly let it fade into furtive, shamefaced disregard?

Thumbs up? Or thumbs down?


----------



## DEKE01

If there are no space aliens I'm not playing {arms crossed, pouting}

:stars:

See those stars? Space aliens live on planets that orbit those stars.


----------



## Raeven

LOL, Deke -- how did I just know that?


----------



## vicker

If we have animals with human qualities and emotions, can humans have deep and meaningful relations with them, both emotional and physical?


----------



## Raeven

The only rule *I* asked for was the one I referenced in Post #1788. 

As for how involved you want to make characters get involved with a goat in a deep, meaningful relationship, both emotional and physical, well... it's a family board, and, umm, eewww. (Or maybe I mean ewe, except we haven't got any sheep characters at the moment.) 

I love Hazelnut, but I can't quite picture her with a feather boa. I hope you can't, either. :runforhills:


----------



## vicker

No, but with little red shoes and cloves...


----------



## vicker

We should be concerned about young minds and not urge them to think of farm animals as human. It is a slippery slope, particularly for those home schooled farm kids.


----------



## Raeven

Please reassure me that your tongue is firmly planted in your.... cheek. Please.


----------



## vicker

I'm just thinking of the children lol


----------



## Raeven

More to the point, can you take your freakishly controlling paws off the steering wheel long enough to let someone else insert three words in between your three anti-anthropomorphic words of warning as re they apply to goats? And presumably sheep? Or am I dreaming the impossible dream?


----------



## vicker

Of course I can. It just gets slow at times and ... Well, yes I suppose I can.


----------



## Raeven

I know. I know. It's hard to wait. Think of it like... ketchup. It sort of loses its charm when it all comes out in a big bloop.


----------



## vicker

It's really no fun at all if no one else is posting. I understand the concept of your game, perfectly. Cast away your fears.


----------



## Raeven

LOL, no fears... it goes, or it doesn't go. It was fun while we had it cracking, though -- remains to be seen if others are still interested. If yes, what to do? Where to start? I mean, a dog named Bruce in tighty-whities? Think of the children!!


----------



## Guest

Long ago, in one of my sermons from the mount(before I became saddlesore, but that's a whole nother ballgame) I warned against anthropomorphism. See what happens?? Sure, it started out as harmless flirtation, but ended in animal husbandry.


----------



## Raeven

Until they caught you at it, that is.


----------



## Guest

You should call me Brother Dave, since I am neither your brother, nor named Dave. A new religion is born, amidst the shambles. Too bad Bokononism is taken.


----------



## SimplerTimez

What? I'm gone during a bad spell in the month with a sick child, and the STORY thread dies?

~ST


----------



## SimplerTimez

I'm trained in CPR...should I try?

I think we need 3 ayes to resurrect...

~ST


----------



## Raeven

LOLOL, how conveeeeeenient... since I think we have three ayes?


----------



## Raeven

Oh, Brother Zong-a-long, what say you? You'll be a fourth. It means we could forego space aliens.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Well, I've been called four-eyes before, but, you ....


----------



## Raeven

Nononononono!!!! You're only a three-eyes!!!


----------



## DEKE01

some space aliens have dozens of eyes


----------



## Raeven

Deke... tell me... when did this preoccupation with space aliens begin for you?


----------



## SimplerTimez

And what is it with the inability to 
Just
Write
Three
Words

LOL! 

We're a forum full of rebels I tell ya!


----------



## Raeven

Deke struggles, because two of his words are always 'space aliens.'


----------



## DEKE01

Raeven said:


> Deke... tell me... when did this preoccupation with space aliens begin for you?


It was a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. 

...

The back seat of a 1964 Ford Galaxy to be specific. It was the first time I had seen that particular space so alien to me and I liked it. But then a cop caught us, made us get dressed, yelled at me for putting the young lady at risk, and sent us home.


----------



## DEKE01

Raeven said:


> Deke struggles, because two of his words are always 'space aliens.'


TRUE!

It isn't easy to be this annoying.


----------



## Tommyice

This here thread....


----------



## Tommyice

got really weird.


----------



## Tommyice

There, there Rae. I kept it to just three words. I think I might try that with all my posts in the other threads too. LOL!


----------



## SimplerTimez

But at least


----------



## Raeven

it was amusing...?


----------



## SimplerTimez

While it lasted,


----------



## vicker

"freakishly" controlling men


----------



## Raeven

vicker said:


> "freakishly" controlling men


(Ok, that was unduly harsh on my part. And an unfair, inaccurate characterization. I apologize. Will you forgive me?)

and anthropomorphized goats


----------



## catspjamas

Sorry, I was


----------



## catspjamas

watching season 3


----------



## catspjamas

The Walking Dead


----------



## catspjamas

I'm back now.


----------



## arcticow

You, or ZOMBIE you?


----------



## catspjamas

haven't turned yet


----------



## vicker

twisting your tail


----------



## Raeven

(Yowch! Duly noted!)

New story start?


----------



## DEKE01

Space Aliens landed


----------



## Raeven

(Deke, you gratuitous little... why, I oughta...!!!)

poorly, and died


----------



## Tommyice

at Area 51.


----------



## Raeven

Witnessed, however, by


----------



## vicker

several humanish gophers


----------



## Raeven

<facepalm>

, one whose name


----------



## vicker

rhymed with asparagus.


----------



## kentuckyhippie

another named xprzniglkmp


----------



## Raeven

, nickname of Roscoe.


----------



## doodlemom

P Coletrane, yup.


----------



## DEKE01

I'm so happy!


----------



## vicker

Asparagus grows wild


----------



## Raeven

like nostril hairs


----------



## vicker

, noticed only by


----------



## Raeven

the observant gophers.


----------



## vicker

Jerry peered through


----------



## kentuckyhippie

who is jerry?


----------



## vicker

, asked the sheriff.


----------



## Raeven

Jerry lived near


----------



## tambo

a pretty creek


----------



## DEKE01

near the spaceship


----------



## Raeven

, now abandoned, waiting


----------



## vicker

the scrap truck


----------



## Raeven

to haul it


----------



## catspjamas

to the hanger


----------



## Raeven

for painstaking examination


----------



## catspjamas

with a toothbrush


----------



## vicker

Jerry was toothless,


----------



## Raeven

went without saying.


----------



## catspjamas

There were no


----------



## catspjamas

words left to


----------



## Raeven

torment everyone with


----------



## vicker

Jerry sighed, giggled,


----------



## WhyNot

and then threw


----------



## DEKE01

a space alien


----------



## WhyNot

a flirty look.


----------



## arcticow

A female alien?


----------



## kentuckyhippie

she winked back


----------



## Raeven

, even though her


----------



## vicker

fifteen lidless eyes


----------



## Raeven

weren't what winked.


----------



## vicker

Easily swallowing his


----------



## Raeven

gum, Jerry wondered


----------



## Guest

dying to meet


----------



## doodlemom

alien leader Proberella.


----------



## JohnnyLee

Proberella was very


----------



## Raeven

aloof, eying Jerry


----------



## JohnnyLee

and thinking about


----------



## doodlemom

various samplings of


----------



## Raeven

sausage, remembering previous


----------



## JohnnyLee

close encounters where


----------



## doodlemom

many were shocked.


----------



## Raeven

Proberella wanted no


----------



## JohnnyLee

problems from Jerry,


----------



## Raeven

who grinned stupidly


----------



## JohnnyLee

not knowing what


----------



## Raeven

Proberella's scheming approach


----------



## JohnnyLee

was about to


----------



## Raeven

nail his hiney.


----------



## vicker

Hiney nailing, popular


----------



## Raeven

in the Philippines,


----------



## doodlemom

Probama's childhood home


----------



## vicker

, was not, however,


----------



## WhyNot

Uranus. Suddenly, "Bang!"


----------



## Oxankle

Ooooh, bad chili!


----------



## kentuckyhippie

aliens like farts


----------



## vicker

are only temporary.


----------



## catspjamas

"Dang!" Jerry cried


----------



## Raeven

, "Smells like petunias!!"


----------



## Oxankle

his dog fainted


----------



## catspjamas

, the cat cheered


----------



## vicker

, "that alien exploded!"


----------



## JohnnyLee

and the alien


----------



## JohnnyLee

was truly dead


----------



## JohnnyLee

and never more!!!


----------



## vicker

Pieces rained supreme


----------



## Jaclynne

across the fruited


----------



## JohnnyLee

plains and the


----------



## catspjamas

golden waves of


----------



## Jaclynne

effluveint wafted by.


----------



## JohnnyLee

Then Jerry decided


----------



## vicker

against buttered popcorn.


----------



## catspjamas

Opting instead for


----------



## Raeven

travel to Honolulu.


----------



## catspjamas

With his trusty


----------



## Jaclynne

guitar, named Garcia,


----------



## vicker

a G harmonica,


----------



## Raeven

new adventures awaited.


----------



## Grumpy old man

Jerry and his


----------



## Raeven

annoyingly dogged persistence


----------



## Grumpy old man

When dealing with


----------



## Jaclynne

mail-order car salesmen,


----------



## Tommyice

wearing gold chains


----------



## catspjamas

and polyester shirts


----------



## JohnnyLee

and cowboy boots


----------



## Tommyice

"Saturday-Night-Fever" meets "Urban Cowboy."




~~not fair to break up movie titles. Just wrong in my opinion. LOL~~

P.s. good to see Johnny's name in the line-up again!


----------



## catspjamas

He needed a


----------



## JohnnyLee

break from all


----------



## Tommyice

the neurotic headcases.


----------



## Grumpy old man

that kept buying


----------



## Jaclynne

mini-Coopers and Crocs


----------



## catspjamas

It's in flames!


----------



## Grumpy old man

He screamed as


----------



## Jaclynne

he jigged in


----------



## Grumpy old man

his new Lederhosen !


----------



## Grumpy old man

everyone looked down


----------



## catspjamas

On the lederhosen


----------



## Grumpy old man

a blaze consumed


----------



## kentuckyhippie

his leg hair


----------



## JohnnyLee

und die Lederhosen


----------



## JohnnyLee

was no more


----------



## catspjamas

"Alas, I am


----------



## JohnnyLee

weary of this


----------



## Grumpy old man

dancing ,said Jerry


----------



## Grumpy old man

away he went


----------



## kentuckyhippie

looking for love


----------



## kentuckyhippie

in northern idaho


----------



## Raeven

-- a huge miscalculation.


----------



## Grumpy old man

ended in Florida


----------



## Grumpy old man

tiki bar madness !


----------



## catspjamas

Little umbrellas everywhere


----------



## vicker

and naked tikis


----------



## doodlemom

sad susu kaukau


----------



## vicker

stale hotdog buns


----------



## Jaclynne

and wilted leis,


----------



## Grumpy old man

littered the ground


----------



## Jaclynne

. Not as much


----------



## Grumpy old man

fun as Alaska


----------



## kentuckyhippie

but warmer, especially


----------



## kentuckyhippie

with no leg-hair


----------



## catspjamas

Jerry looked for


----------



## vicker

a way out.


----------



## Jaclynne

This malaria riddled


----------



## Grumpy old man

Swamp smells bad


----------



## SimplerTimez

, but roses bloomed


----------



## Grumpy old man

When Jerry saw


----------



## SimplerTimez

the line-up of


----------



## DEKE01

space alien tourists


----------



## Jaclynne

in their little


----------



## catspjamas

Hawaiian shirts with


----------



## Jaclynne

grass skirts swaying.


----------



## catspjamas

He was hysterical


----------



## catspjamas

afraid the aliens


----------



## DEKE01

would eat Jerry's


----------



## vicker

highly poisonous cornbread.


----------



## catspjamas

But the aliens


----------



## catspjamas

needed the poisonous


----------



## catspjamas

cornbread to fuel


----------



## SimplerTimez

their dastardly plot


----------



## JohnnyLee

of taking over


----------



## SimplerTimez

Singletree game forums


----------



## JohnnyLee

where all the


----------



## SimplerTimez

cool people hang


----------



## DEKE01

Suddenly, nerds revolted


----------



## kentuckyhippie

revolting nerds charged


----------



## vicker

batteries with potatoes


----------



## Jaclynne

while calculating complex


----------



## DUlrich

almanac planting schedules


----------



## vicker

, carrot caloric content


----------



## Jaclynne

and the benefits


----------



## JohnnyLee

of long term


----------



## JohnnyLee

exposure to computer


----------



## JohnnyLee

monitors and printers.


----------



## DEKE01

JohnnyLee said:


> exposure to computer


{referee whistle blows, yellow hanky tossed on the field}

10 yard penalty for replying to your own post resulting in a greater than 3 word response by an individual.


----------



## JohnnyLee

(I have always had trouble following rules! lol SORRY!)


----------



## SimplerTimez

Picking up here



JohnnyLee said:


> of long term


consumption of herbs


----------



## Jaclynne

and bitter greens.


----------



## JohnnyLee

The nerds then


----------



## Oxankle

had serious heartburn


----------



## Grumpy old man

On to Alaska !


----------



## SimplerTimez

Autumn's gifts lay


----------



## Grumpy old man

In simpler times !


----------



## SimplerTimez

(LOL!)

Undeterred, they pressed


----------



## Grumpy old man

Onward , like Geese


----------



## SimplerTimez

, elegantly symmetrical, aloft


----------



## Grumpy old man

landing clumsily ...Pffft !


----------



## SimplerTimez

Looking around startled,


----------



## Grumpy old man

Jerry realized he ...


----------



## SimplerTimez

was limping slightly


----------



## Grumpy old man

beach acid again !


----------



## SimplerTimez

Pressing on unrelentingly,


----------



## Grumpy old man

Jerry found Hope !


----------



## Jaclynne

I was absent a few days and got behind on the story, instead of catching up I just started posting again. After seeing the yellow flag thrown for extra posts, I went back and read what I'd missed. 

I think I owe Raeven an apology for not following the rules - so sorry, I'll try to behave. 

And I owe Vicker an apology because it appears he took most of the reprimand and I was just as guilty of getting carried away after midnite (see, there's a song for everything.)

Back to the normally scheduled nonsense.


----------



## Jaclynne

Its a new


----------



## Grumpy old man

girl named Jacky !


----------



## kentuckyhippie

with multiple peircings


----------



## vicker

in her tire


----------



## JohnnyLee

Jaclynne said:


> I was absent a few days and got behind on the story, instead of catching up I just started posting again. After seeing the yellow flag thrown for extra posts, I went back and read what I'd missed.
> 
> I think I owe Raeven an apology for not following the rules - so sorry, I'll try to behave.
> 
> And I owe Vicker an apology because it appears he took most of the reprimand and I was just as guilty of getting carried away after midnite (see, there's a song for everything.)
> 
> Back to the normally scheduled nonsense.


(Yeah, me too! um, What she said! lol)


----------



## Grumpy old man

Jerry and Jacky


----------



## kentuckyhippie

decided to elope


----------



## Grumpy old man

Like all ********


----------



## Jaclynne

raised on cornpone


----------



## Oxankle

,greens and fatback.


----------



## catspjamas

An Elvis impersonator


----------



## Jaclynne

officiated the ceremony


----------



## vicker

in Samoan dress.


----------



## catspjamas

Singing "Tiny Bubbles"


----------



## Jaclynne

, and twirling fiery


----------



## catspjamas

red nipple pasties.


----------



## Jaclynne

They'll never forget


----------



## vicker

tattooed on his


----------



## catspjamas

chest the picture


----------



## Jaclynne

of Miss America


----------



## vicker

's third grade


----------



## Jaclynne

Halloween pageant crowning.


----------



## Grumpy old man

Jerry said , Jacky ...


----------



## catspjamas

Let's me 'n you

Sent from my XT907 using Homesteading Today mobile app


----------



## Oxankle

shave that tattoo


----------



## Grumpy old man

He pulled out ...


----------



## kentuckyhippie

a rusty razor


----------



## Jaclynne

as she lathered


----------



## Grumpy old man

his sunken chest


----------



## Jaclynne

, while discreetly sniffing


----------



## vicker

toasted rabbit tobacco. (Anyone else love the smell of that stuff? I use it to smudge in my house now and then.)


----------



## vicker

Please excuse this break as we hear a word from our sponsors. 
http://www.thesouthernherbalist.com/articles/rabbit_tobacco.html


----------



## Grumpy old man

Jacky said , Jerry


----------



## Jaclynne

do you think


----------



## quietperson

the sun will


----------



## Grumpy old man

burn out today ?


----------



## catspjamas

Or will the

Sent from my XT907 using Homesteading Today mobile app


----------



## quietperson

cricket hug Chloe?


----------



## catspjamas

Jacky took Jerry's

Sent from my XT907 using Homesteading Today mobile app


----------



## Oxankle

hand off her


----------



## catspjamas

Krispy Kreme doughnut


----------



## Grumpy old man

And then screamed !


----------



## catspjamas

Space aliens crawled

nanner: for Deke)


----------



## Grumpy old man

on the doughnuts !


----------



## kentuckyhippie

little sticky aliens


----------



## Raeven

, appendages covered in


----------



## vicker

African killer ants


----------



## Raeven

-- a new experience!


----------



## vicker

Writhing in painful


----------



## Raeven

episodes of wounding,


----------



## vicker

ear piercing death


----------



## catspjamas

screams echoed across


----------



## kentuckyhippie

walmart parking lot


----------



## Grumpy old man

And garden center


----------



## Jaclynne

,frightening the homeless


----------



## catspjamas

making dogs howl


----------



## kentuckyhippie

and shattering windows


----------



## Raeven

. Retaliating, the aliens


----------



## arcticow

implanted alien hybrids


----------



## Raeven

in inconspicuous flowerpots


----------



## catspjamas

which unsuspecting shoppers


----------



## Oxankle

and visiting dignitaries


----------



## arcticow

grabbed like hotcakes!!


----------



## Raeven

Their evil plan


----------



## catspjamas

to dominate the


----------



## Jaclynne

******* social strata


----------



## Raeven

of Amarillo, Texas


----------



## Grumpy old man

completed years ago ound:


----------



## Raeven

Thusly satisfied, they


----------



## vicker

gathered dry mesquite


----------



## Raeven

and gleefully fled


----------



## kentuckyhippie

not noticing that


----------



## Grumpy old man

A Chupacabra followed !


----------



## Oxankle

with bared fangs


----------



## Grumpy old man

in the moonlight


----------



## Jaclynne

slinging slobber everywhere!


----------



## arcticow

It was RABID!!!


----------



## kentuckyhippie

emitting hungry growls


----------



## catspjamas

and singing opera.


----------



## Raeven

(Specifically, Don Giovanni.)


----------



## vicker

Large breasted chupacabras


----------



## Grumpy old man

sang, growling furiously !


----------



## Delrio

But then they......


----------



## Grumpy old man

Attacked ! Jerry viciously


----------



## JohnnyLee

and he died.


----------



## Grumpy old man

Jacky sighed relief !


----------



## JohnnyLee

About that time


----------



## Grumpy old man

JohnnyLee showed up ! :bouncy:


----------



## JohnnyLee

things got interesting!


----------



## Grumpy old man

chubacara's surrounded them


----------



## JohnnyLee

I ain't skeered


----------



## catspjamas

Using his trusty

Sent from my XT907 using Homesteading Today mobile app


----------



## JohnnyLee

survival knife and


----------



## Oxankle

cleated track shoes


----------



## Grumpy old man

with pink bows


----------



## kentuckyhippie

johnny stomped aliens


----------



## Jaclynne

while fending off


----------



## Raeven

disgruntled sleepy penguins


----------



## JohnnyLee

and chupacabra fangs


----------



## Jaclynne

with flamboyant swashbuckling


----------



## Oxankle

lady-like steps


----------



## Raeven

<thrust, parry, flourish!>


----------



## Oxankle

Dead Chucpacabras everywhere!


----------



## Raeven

Johnny started canning!


----------



## kentuckyhippie

chupacabra stew yummy


----------



## JohnnyLee

Enough for Everyone!


----------



## Jaclynne

Just don't eat


----------



## Grumpy old man

from Their "netherlands "


----------



## JohnnyLee

because THEY are


----------



## Jaclynne

granulated with iridescent


----------



## JohnnyLee

poison glands and


----------



## kentuckyhippie

stink really bad


----------



## SimplerTimez

. Thankfully the next


----------



## Guest

real gone dame


----------



## SimplerTimez

served up a


----------



## Guest

stupid perfect something


----------



## SimplerTimez

, which banished the


----------



## vicker

silly, ignorant things.


----------



## catspjamas

Well, now what?


----------



## kentuckyhippie

asked johnny lee


----------



## Jaclynne

, Jacky's brain whirled


----------



## catspjamas

and split infinitives


----------



## Jaclynne

while conjugating french


----------



## Grumpy old man

loaves of bread


----------



## Oxankle

toasted and buttered


----------



## Grumpy old man

a wonderful picnic


----------



## JohnnyLee

with wine and


----------



## kentuckyhippie

squashed alien dip


----------



## catspjamas

The sun shone

Sent from my XT907 using Homesteading Today mobile app


----------



## Oxankle

brightly on my


----------



## Grumpy old man

New found Hero !


----------



## catspjamas

A rustling sound


----------



## Grumpy old man

from nearby bushes


----------



## Jaclynne

caught their attention,


----------



## JohnnyLee

just in time


----------



## Oxankle

They jumped aside


----------



## catspjamas

into poison ivy


----------



## kentuckyhippie

narrowly escaping the


----------



## Jaclynne

headless horseman galloping


----------



## Grumpy old man

in their direction


----------



## Jaclynne

, too early for


----------



## Grumpy old man

dinner? He said


----------



## Jaclynne

, voice floating eerily


----------



## Grumpy old man

from his pumkinhead


----------



## Jaclynne

"Perhaps, a drink?"


----------



## Grumpy old man

He growled aggressively !


----------



## Delrio

Or maybe a..


----------



## Grumpy old man

A new soul ?


----------



## kentuckyhippie

Jackie's scream shattered


----------



## catspjamas

an odd mirror

Sent from my XT907 using Homesteading Today mobile app


----------



## Jaclynne

hanging from a


----------



## JohnnyLee

gnarled old tree


----------



## kentuckyhippie

broken glass sliced


----------



## Grumpy old man

Thru her neck


----------



## JohnnyLee

and blood was


----------



## Grumpy old man

all over Johnnylee


----------



## JohnnyLee

and all over


----------



## Grumpy old man

poor Jacky ,dead !


----------



## JohnnyLee

She was then


----------



## Grumpy old man

useless to Johnnylee


----------



## JohnnyLee

he buried her!


----------



## Grumpy old man

No dancing tonite


----------



## Jaclynne

The pumpkin-headed horseman


----------



## JohnnyLee

then killed JohnnyLee


----------



## catspjamas

JohnnyLee turned zombie

Sent from my XT907 using Homesteading Today mobile app


----------



## JohnnyLee

no he didn't


----------



## Jaclynne

Again, PumpkinHead killed


----------



## JohnnyLee

JohnnyLee, he's quite


----------



## Jaclynne

seriously dead fo'sur!


----------



## JohnnyLee

He's DEAD Jim!


----------



## Jaclynne

PumpkinHead's horse wheeled


----------



## JohnnyLee

(intermission)

[youtube]npjOSLCR2hE[/youtube]


----------



## JohnnyLee

around and PunkinHead


----------



## Jaclynne

left in search


----------



## Grumpy old man

of johnnylee's soul


----------



## Delrio

who was freed


----------



## Jaclynne

from the grasp


----------



## SimplerTimez

of sylvan sprites,


----------



## Grumpy old man

But Jacky survived !


----------



## JohnnyLee

No she didn't! (lol)


----------



## Grumpy old man

But Johnnylee survived !


----------



## SimplerTimez

Spinning tunes and


----------



## Grumpy old man

and dancing lacucaracha !


----------



## SimplerTimez

But his days


----------



## Grumpy old man

of carousing ,Done


----------



## SimplerTimez

quietly and discreetly


----------



## Grumpy old man

Johnnylee, Alaska bound !


----------



## JohnnyLee

yeah, I wish!


----------



## catspjamas

JohnnyLee's spirit departed

Sent from my XT907 using Homesteading Today mobile app


----------



## Grumpy old man

a telepathic journey


----------



## SimplerTimez

Northern Lights ablaze,


----------



## Grumpy old man

natural acid trip


----------



## JohnnyLee

and lots'a shrooms


----------



## Grumpy old man

from Grumpy's pasture :happy:


----------



## JohnnyLee

his spirit fled


----------



## Grumpy old man

to shores aplenty


----------



## JohnnyLee

far from here


----------



## Grumpy old man

Voluptuous women await !


----------



## JohnnyLee

"WHERE!", cried JohnnyLee.

(i'm not THAT dead!)


----------



## Grumpy old man

ound:Arms open , lustfully ......LMAOROTF


----------



## Grumpy old man

Nome awaits Johnnylee !


----------



## Grumpy old man

Beautiful redheaded women !


----------



## JohnnyLee

(who the hell are you dude? How do you know I like beautiful voluptuous red-headed women?)


----------



## Grumpy old man

JohnnyLee said:


> (who the hell are you dude? How do you know I like beautiful voluptuous red-headed women?)


Ahhh! Grasshopper you have found my Kryptonite !!!:nana:


----------



## Grumpy old man

Panning for GOLD !


----------



## JohnnyLee

gold, voluptuous women


----------



## Grumpy old man

panting for Johnnylee


----------



## JohnnyLee

what about beer?


----------



## Grumpy old man

well aged Heineken


----------



## sfsbhs

Blue light special


----------



## Grumpy old man

smelling of smoky skunk


----------



## Grumpy old man

They were twins !


----------



## JohnnyLee

(are you drinking a Heiny too? Oh, that skunk taste/smell, that is what makes it! lol) 
(ok, seriously, who the hell are you!) lol


----------



## JohnnyLee

so the Heineken


----------



## Grumpy old man

Just a grumpy old man who had many many lasting experiences


----------



## Grumpy old man

Chilled from icebergs


----------



## JohnnyLee

and carried by


----------



## Grumpy old man

trained polar bears


----------



## Grumpy old man

led by redheads


----------



## Grumpy old man

long curled hair


----------



## Grumpy old man

encased Johnnylee entirely


----------



## Grumpy old man

he screamed WAIT !


----------



## JohnnyLee

No he didn't! (lol)


----------



## Grumpy old man

The bears ate him !


----------



## Grumpy old man

It was just a dream the whole time ,You don't get the twin redheads AND Heineken !


----------



## JohnnyLee

life's a *****.


----------



## JohnnyLee

then you die


----------



## Grumpy old man

Nay, we will resurect you !


----------



## JohnnyLee

we'can rebuild him!


----------



## JohnnyLee

stronger than he


----------



## Grumpy old man

Smells !


----------



## JohnnyLee

I smell good


----------



## Grumpy old man

Said the redheads


----------



## JohnnyLee

yes they do!


----------



## Grumpy old man

Johnny exclaimed gleefully !


----------



## JohnnyLee

then they came


----------



## Grumpy old man

Bearing huge golden


----------



## JohnnyLee

casks of ale


----------



## catspjamas

getting JohnnyLee drunk


----------



## catspjamas

and turning him


----------



## catspjamas

into a toad.


----------



## JohnnyLee

(someone has been watching "O' Brother Where Art Thou")


----------



## JohnnyLee

[youtube]FXpRxzmawjw[/youtube]


----------



## JohnnyLee

but the toad


----------



## JohnnyLee

was really not


----------



## catspjamas

lol, guilty as charged.

[ame]http://youtu.be/p56k6QCjJnc[/ame]


----------



## catspjamas

a toad, but


----------



## JohnnyLee

really a prince


----------



## JohnnyLee

John le Magnifique


----------



## Grumpy old man

prince of princes !


----------



## JohnnyLee

all he needed


----------



## Grumpy old man

a large gold nugget !


----------



## JohnnyLee

then he would


----------



## Grumpy old man

Settle down happily !


----------



## catspjamas

With a good


----------



## kentuckyhippie

dog and gun


----------



## Grumpy old man

LOTS of chickens !


----------



## JohnnyLee

in a cabin


----------



## Delrio

all alone with


----------



## Grumpy old man

a new girl named


----------



## JohnnyLee

Triple Double Trouble.


----------



## JohnnyLee

TDT for short.


----------



## Grumpy old man

A strip dancer


----------



## JohnnyLee

from Sunset Blvd.


----------



## sfsbhs

Missing her teeth


----------



## JohnnyLee

hooked on crack


----------



## sfsbhs

But in rehab,


----------



## JohnnyLee

she cleaned up


----------



## sfsbhs

Ordered glass eyes,


----------



## JohnnyLee

and false teeth


----------



## sfsbhs

Sold the eyes.


----------



## JohnnyLee

Then she got


----------



## sfsbhs

A chastity belt.


----------



## JohnnyLee

Then whoever went

(really? A chastity belt for a crack head stripper from sunset blvd? That's like closing and NAIL THE GATE SHUT after you let the chickens out! LOL!)


----------



## Grumpy old man

Bought Johnnylee Viagra


----------



## kentuckyhippie

a years supply


----------



## JohnnyLee

To use for


----------



## JohnnyLee

growing medicinal herb


----------



## sfsbhs

And modeling glass-eyes


----------



## JohnnyLee

out of white


----------



## Delrio

powder mixed with


----------



## Grumpy old man

baby seal parts


----------



## catspjamas

Photo of TDT (I know it will be deleted, but I couldn't resist.)








[/URL][/IMG]


----------



## JohnnyLee

Leave her alone, she is struttin' her stuff!

She's bringing SESSY back!

lol



catspjamas said:


> Photo of TDT (I know it will be deleted, but I couldn't resist.)
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> [/URL][/IMG]


----------



## Grumpy old man

Oh my god !


----------



## Grumpy old man

You're the man


----------



## JohnnyLee

Not the man


----------



## JohnnyLee

dat's hitting dat


----------



## Grumpy old man

Everyday he's happy !


----------



## JohnnyLee

Well, most everyday


----------



## Grumpy old man

He's with her !


----------



## Grumpy old man

She looks nice .


----------



## JohnnyLee

you take her


----------



## JohnnyLee

So Grumpy Did


----------



## Grumpy old man

home for the holidays !


----------



## Grumpy old man

she can cook !


----------



## Grumpy old man

yeah baby ! Turkey !


----------



## JohnnyLee

They lived happily


----------



## JohnnyLee

ever after.


----------



## Grumpy old man

until she died .


----------



## Grumpy old man

soon after they met


----------



## Grumpy old man

Grumpy was FREE !


----------



## Grumpy old man

Ready to marry


----------



## Grumpy old man

A young redhead !


----------



## Grumpy old man

with a tractor


----------



## JohnnyLee

that she ran


----------



## JohnnyLee

him over with


----------



## JohnnyLee

and he died.

(THE END!)


----------



## catspjamas

Enter stage left...


----------



## kentuckyhippie

meanwhile, in texas


----------



## Grumpy old man

An oil well


----------



## Delrio

fell on her


----------



## Grumpy old man

owned by BP


----------



## Grumpy old man

it landed on


----------



## JohnnyLee

her left toe


----------



## JohnnyLee

so BP started


----------



## Grumpy old man

the big cleanup


----------



## SimplerTimez

which this needs...


----------



## Grumpy old man

a old women


----------



## SimplerTimez

known as clucks (you used plural so I'm running with it)


----------



## Grumpy old man

raised many chickens


----------



## SimplerTimez

on their farm


----------



## JohnnyLee

night and day


----------



## kentuckyhippie

loudly crowing roosters


----------



## SimplerTimez

wreaked havoc upon


----------



## catspjamas

the giant green


----------



## SimplerTimez

nest of caterpillars.


----------



## Jaclynne

Gnawed tomatoes rotted


----------



## Grumpy old man

faster every day


----------



## catspjamas

until the stench


----------



## kentuckyhippie

made it impossible


----------



## JohnnyLee

for the chickens


----------



## catspjamas

to chicken dance


----------



## Jaclynne

or scratch hieroglyphics


----------



## catspjamas

to alert others


----------



## Jim-mi

in the mud


----------



## catspjamas

of the impending


----------



## Jim-mi

Typhoon. However she


----------



## Jaclynne

(Oh, lordy, who is she? Now I have to go back and catch up!)


managed to scrawl


----------



## Grumpy old man

I love you !


----------



## Jim-mi

in the mud


----------



## Grumpy old man

before she died


----------



## Grumpy old man

the farmer couldn't


----------



## Fowler

get it up


----------



## JohnnyLee

so she laughed!


----------



## kentuckyhippie

which was rude


----------



## JohnnyLee

she stopped laughing


----------



## sfsbhs

And cooked muffins


----------



## Jim-mi

in the outhouse


----------



## catspjamas

Zombie cooking muffins?

(How else do you explain a dead person cooking muffins?)


----------



## sfsbhs

Zombie muffins indeed


----------



## Fowler

AKA steamed oysters


----------



## catspjamas

steamed mountain oysters.


----------



## catspjamas

A mist shrouded


----------



## Jaclynne

everything, and rumbling


----------



## Grumpy old man

Thunder storms came


----------



## Delrio

from the depths


----------



## Fowler

of her coinpurse


----------



## JohnnyLee

when she opened


----------



## Jim-mi

her zombie canister


----------



## JohnnyLee

tiny zombies ran


----------



## catspjamas

Amok thru Kmart

Sent from my XT907 using Homesteading Today mobile app


----------



## kentuckyhippie

tripping old ladies


----------



## Raeven

, laughing maniacally and


----------



## doodlemom

eating mouse brains


----------



## Jim-mi

causing huge farts


----------



## Jaclynne

, suffocating unsuspecting shoppers.


----------



## Grumpy old man

A bluelight special !


----------



## catspjamas

From the women's


----------



## Jaclynne

department featuring camouflaged


----------



## JohnnyLee

bloomers, hunter-orange bras


----------



## kentuckyhippie

and thigh-high boots


----------



## Jaclynne

and self-heating socks,


----------



## Delrio

for a special


----------



## catspjamas

man or woman


----------



## Fowler

transexual hunting attire!


----------



## Jim-mi

featuring glow-in-the-dark bloomers


----------



## kentuckyhippie

stampedeing shoppers caused


----------



## Fowler

drAAAma queen riots


----------



## SimplerTimez

and self-check lines


----------



## Jim-mi

kicked-out $100 bills


----------



## SimplerTimez

, causing a ruckus


----------



## Jaclynne

and an influx


----------



## Grumpy old man

of EBT users


----------



## Jim-mi

buying rancid peanutbutter


----------



## kentuckyhippie

and grape jelly


----------



## Grumpy old man

Dad showed up !


----------



## catspjamas

Looking for Sasquatch

Sent from my XT907 using Homesteading Today mobile app


----------



## Jim-mi

instead Wolf-man appeared


----------



## kentuckyhippie

wearing camo bloomers


----------



## Delrio

and pink highlights


----------



## Grumpy old man

Dad Shot him !


----------



## Grumpy old man

Dad's like that


----------



## catspjamas

Dad skinned the

Sent from my XT907 using Homesteading Today mobile app


----------



## Grumpy old man

Grizzly old beast


----------



## Jim-mi

one more zombie


----------



## Grumpy old man

joined the thread


----------



## Jim-mi

of nature lovers


----------



## Grumpy old man

turned zombie werewolves


----------



## catspjamas

dancing the polka.


----------



## Grumpy old man

while surfing Alaska


----------



## SimplerTimez

. Due to the


----------



## catspjamas

high mosquito count


----------



## SimplerTimez

and lack of


----------



## kentuckyhippie

good bath soap


----------



## SimplerTimez

, caused the rise


----------



## Jim-mi

and vinegar deodorant


----------



## Delrio

he smelled funny


----------



## Grumpy old man

and tasty too !


----------



## Grumpy old man

the HUGE Polarbear


----------



## catspjamas

with a tiny


----------



## Jaclynne

tutu graced bum,


----------



## catspjamas

sang love songs


----------



## kentuckyhippie

and banged bongos


----------



## Grumpy old man

all night long !


Ya'll are sick !


----------



## catspjamas

An enchanting lass


----------



## Jaclynne

heard the serenade


----------



## Raeven

-- "My!" she exlaimed!


----------



## Jim-mi

I need sardines . . . . .


----------



## kentuckyhippie

on graham crackers


----------



## Jaclynne

,no, I mean


----------



## Grumpy old man

A 12 gauge !


----------



## Delrio

with extra shells


----------



## Grumpy old man

werewolves zombies,polarbears !


----------



## Jim-mi

wearing pink bloomers


----------



## Fowler

for hair nets


----------



## kentuckyhippie

singing old mcdonald


----------



## JohnnyLee

had a farm


----------



## Grumpy old man

Bang ! Bang ! Bang !


----------



## Grumpy old man

Their all DEAD !


----------



## JohnnyLee

Finally the end!


----------



## roadless

Meanwhile she smiled.


----------



## Raeven

Mathilda hearkened back


----------



## Jim-mi

at the mouse


----------



## Raeven

(???)

who performed acrobatics


----------



## JohnnyLee

and ate toast


----------



## Raeven

with dainty paws


----------



## JohnnyLee

and then slept


----------



## Raeven

snuggled gently into


----------



## Grumpy old man

Mathilda was a dog


----------



## Raeven

(No, she wasn't. Please try to adhere to the story rules. Three words only, let someone else have a go, and if you're really good at this, give the next person a chance to be creative and stop trying to direct the story all by yourself. M'kay? It's not that hard -- really!)


----------



## Grumpy old man

Raeven said:


> (No, she wasn't. Please try to adhere to the story rules. Three words only, let someone else have a go, and if you're really good at this, give the next person a chance to be creative and stop trying to direct the story all by yourself. M'kay? It's not that hard -- really!)


Eating toast with dainty PAWS = small dog ?


----------



## Tommyice

~~~looking for the Cliff Notes on this here story~~~ What the heck?


----------



## Raeven

Grumpy old man said:


> Eating toast with dainty PAWS = small dog ?


(Mathilda hearkened back *at the mouse* who performed acrobatics and ate toast *with dainty paws* and then slept snuggled gently into...

I see where you got confused. It's useful if you try to keep continuity by reading back to see how your words may best fit in -- and also to think about what might possibly happen going forward. If you help the next person along, chances are good they will crack you up with what they come up with.  )


----------



## Raeven

Tommyice said:


> ~~~looking for the Cliff Notes on this here story~~~ What the heck?


LOL, sweetie, you're gonna need more than Cliff notes at this point!!! Maybe a mental institution... you know it's bad when I'm pining for Deke to post again...


----------



## JohnnyLee

karma's a *****!


----------



## Grumpy old man

Who worked at


----------



## Guest

feeling the love.


----------



## Raeven

in all things


----------



## JohnnyLee

skills on lesser


----------



## Guest

skulls on leases


----------



## Grumpy old man

Involvement in threads


----------



## Raeven

. Somewhere in Arkansas,


----------



## Guest

a porno zombie


----------



## Raeven

drew tattered stockings


----------



## Guest

across size fifteens.


----------



## JohnnyLee

and REAL fishnets


----------



## Raeven

(undead, but picky!)


----------



## Guest

while shelling beans.


----------



## Raeven

Winter was coming.


----------



## JohnnyLee

"This ----s crazy!"
(cried Mathilda)


----------



## Guest

in her discontent


----------



## Raeven

Bad acid trips


----------



## Guest

, forte of mine,


----------



## Raeven

and many others.


----------



## Guest

Fukushima was real????


----------



## Raeven

Living in Japan,


----------



## Guest

the mutated zombie-mouse


----------



## Raeven

shivered with apprehension.


----------



## JohnnyLee

Then she grabbed


----------



## Jaclynne

a potholder to


----------



## Guest

kill herself with


----------



## Raeven

(a whimsical contraption!)


----------



## Guest

seeing what's said.


----------



## Raeven

(I really liked the "eye-phone, though!! LOL!!!)

Alas, she failed.


----------



## Guest

instead killing Mathilde.


----------



## Raeven

Smothered by crud.


----------



## Guest

from chuck's wagon


----------



## Raeven

-- grossest potholders ever!!


----------



## Guest

her giant hands


----------



## Raeven

went gradually limp,


----------



## Guest

as she dozed


----------



## Raeven

, dreaming of chalupas


----------



## JohnnyLee

Then she decided


----------



## Jaclynne

, in her dreams,


----------



## JohnnyLee

to head for


----------



## Raeven

Manley's Truck Stop --


----------



## JohnnyLee

in Castaic California


----------



## Raeven

... better than Japan!


----------



## JohnnyLee

yeah it is!


----------



## catspjamas

Otto, Mathilda's ignominious


----------



## Raeven

favorite pet skunk,


----------



## catspjamas

was looking for


----------



## JohnnyLee

special magic mushrooms


----------



## Raeven

for an omelet


----------



## kentuckyhippie

to share with


----------



## catspjamas

his lady love


----------



## Raeven

. Otto loved Esther


----------



## roadless

in a van


----------



## Delrio

down the road


----------



## catspjamas

singing "Yellow Submarine"


----------



## roadless

contented ,Esther thought


----------



## kentuckyhippie

of fried catfish


----------



## Raeven

-- Otto's favorite dish,


----------



## Jaclynne

served with grits,


----------



## Jim-mi

the farting began


----------



## Raeven

with wearisome predictability.


----------



## Jim-mi

Darn . . .tobacco stains


----------



## Jaclynne

What remedy works


----------



## Jim-mi

repeated outhouse visits


----------



## DUlrich

, but not alone


----------



## catspjamas

numerous friends attended


----------



## Jaclynne

lending their support,


----------



## Grumpy old man

explosive sounds erupted


----------



## Delrio

from the dark


----------



## Grumpy old man

and everyone scattered !


----------



## Jim-mi

outhouse tipped over


----------



## Grumpy old man

And revealed a


----------



## Jim-mi

slimey outhouse zombie


----------



## Grumpy old man

With bad taste


----------



## Jim-mi

very bad odor


----------



## Grumpy old man

a fashion queen


----------



## roadless

with red stellos


----------



## catspjamas

dripping zombie slime


----------



## roadless

along forest path


----------



## Grumpy old man

towards the town


----------



## Dixie Bee Acres

In deep thought


----------



## Raeven

, stalking defenseless squirrels


----------



## Grumpy old man

scarecrows were scared !


----------



## roadless

Shockingly he then


----------



## Jim-mi

donned pink bloomers


----------



## roadless

and magic wand


----------



## Grumpy old man

to prancercise along


----------



## kentuckyhippie

and twerking occasionally


----------



## Grumpy old man

to classical music


----------



## roadless

meanwhile a huge


----------



## Jaclynne

(excuse me, ya'll are too fast....)

black cloud emerged


----------



## Raeven

; quarrelsome crows gathered.


----------



## Grumpy old man

A sight to be seen


----------



## roadless

single homesteaders arrived


----------



## Grumpy old man

wielding sharp pitchforks


----------



## Raeven

The crows sneered.


----------



## Grumpy old man

like rich women


----------



## SimplerTimez

and grumpy men,


----------



## Grumpy old man

burned from hotsauce


----------



## SimplerTimez

, dashed for milk


----------



## Grumpy old man

slipped and wrecked


----------



## SimplerTimez

the bum knee.


----------



## Grumpy old man

hurt fighting chubacabras


----------



## Raeven

. The injured zombie


----------



## sustainabilly

retrieved its eye


----------



## Raeven

, examined it critically,


----------



## sustainabilly

salted it liberally,


----------



## Raeven

crows waited expectantly.


----------



## sustainabilly

"Shlurrpp", said zombie.


----------



## Raeven

"Tastes like chicken,"


----------



## sustainabilly

but needs bile.


----------



## Raeven

-- which was problematic.


----------



## sustainabilly

Eyeballing a crow,


----------



## Raeven

in unavoidable mono-vision,


----------



## sustainabilly

Zombie coaxed, "Here


----------



## SimplerTimez

my little pretty..."


----------



## Raeven

"Come to poppa!"


----------



## SimplerTimez

The crow twisted


----------



## Raeven

in abject indecision...


----------



## sustainabilly

then _chawked_ nervously.


----------



## Raeven

With maddening coyness,


----------



## sustainabilly

"Uck! Zombie again?"


----------



## Raeven

Flying to safety,


----------



## sustainabilly

the zombie exclaimed,


----------



## SimplerTimez

"Who is afraid


----------



## Raeven

"of shiny objects?"


----------



## sustainabilly

"Hey! I'm flying!"


----------



## Raeven

crafty crow retorted.


----------



## sustainabilly

Zombie moaned sadly


----------



## Raeven

, and jiggling his


----------



## SimplerTimez

loose left hand,


----------



## sustainabilly

dangling ganglion, he


----------



## Raeven

trudged on to


----------



## sustainabilly

his Zumba class


----------



## Raeven

He prided himself


----------



## sustainabilly

on a perfect


----------



## SimplerTimez

set of chair-lifts


----------



## Raeven

and tastefully matching


----------



## lonelytree

a music thread


----------



## Jaclynne

ruffled his feathers,


----------



## sustainabilly

paisley orthopedic trainers


----------



## SimplerTimez

caused a squawk


----------



## lonelytree

like a dog.............


----------



## SimplerTimez

recently hit by


----------



## Jaclynne

an Amish buggy


----------



## Raeven

careening down the


----------



## Jaclynne

blacktop. He was


----------



## Jim-mi

smoking good stuff


----------



## Jaclynne

and munchin' Cheetos


----------



## Jim-mi

paint-ball gun ready


----------



## Jaclynne

and raring to


----------



## kentuckyhippie

drink beer and


----------



## Delrio

wait for the


----------



## Grumpy old man

seductress, coyly seducing


----------



## Fowler

ST men with


----------



## Grumpy old man

Bodies like GODS !


----------



## Jim-mi

Grumpy gets laid


----------



## Jim-mi

doesn't he wish


----------



## sustainabilly

Zombie wasn't hermaphroditic?


----------



## Grumpy old man

Silver beards RULE !


----------



## Grumpy old man

the rest drool


----------



## catspjamas

into their beards


----------



## Jaclynne

like old fools


----------



## Grumpy old man

We school ya !


----------



## SimplerTimez

The resident schoolmarm


----------



## kentuckyhippie

became very homocidal


----------



## SimplerTimez

, nearly fainting when


----------



## Grumpy old man

seeing only beards


----------



## SimplerTimez

. "Lost am I?


----------



## lonelytree

GPS is WRONG!


----------



## Grumpy old man

she wondered aloud


----------



## roadless

:smack:smack:smack


----------



## SimplerTimez

. The moon rose.


----------



## roadless

How do I 




(dag you guys are fast)


----------



## Grumpy old man

realize failure today ?


----------



## SimplerTimez

About this time,


----------



## Grumpy old man

everyday since I


----------



## Jaclynne

graduated culinary school


----------



## Grumpy old man

cooking sugar cookies


----------



## Jaclynne

and julienning veggies


----------



## Grumpy old man

for Zombie weddings


----------



## Jaclynne

and bar mitzvahs.


----------



## catspjamas

Been looking for


----------



## Jaclynne

a vintage mustang


----------



## catspjamas

in cherry red


----------



## Jim-mi

purple racing stripes


----------



## Jaclynne

for street racing.


----------



## roadless

and 'night moves'


----------



## Grumpy old man

and cruising topless


----------



## Jim-mi

Tickets . . . losing license 


This isn't crazy . . .it is true.


----------



## Jaclynne

reality or dreams?


----------



## roadless

What is true?


----------



## JohnnyLee

the truth is


----------



## Jaclynne

a mere image.


----------



## roadless

Perceived as real.


----------



## Jaclynne

Felt as real.


----------



## roadless

irrefutable sensations that


----------



## Jaclynne

fill our hopes


----------



## roadless

of days full


----------



## Jim-mi

of sour milk


----------



## Jaclynne

and dashed dreams.


----------



## Grumpy old man

reality sets in


----------



## Jaclynne

and itches the


----------



## Grumpy old man

backside of men


----------



## Jaclynne

and women's kneecaps,


----------



## Grumpy old man

with fishnet hose


----------



## Jaclynne

, another fake contraption,


----------



## Grumpy old man

owned by women


----------



## JohnnyLee

to ensnare helpless


----------



## Grumpy old man

men with paychecks


----------



## Jaclynne

callused old grumps


----------



## SimplerTimez

. Meanwhile, back to


----------



## Grumpy old man

gold digging fluzzies


----------



## catspjamas

Our story which

Sent from my XT907 using Homesteading Today mobile app


----------



## SimplerTimez

seems continuously derailed


----------



## Grumpy old man

controlled by women


----------



## Jaclynne

meandering every where,


----------



## kentuckyhippie

but stays interesting


----------



## SimplerTimez

, depending on perspective.


----------



## Jaclynne

What is perspective?


----------



## Grumpy old man

Yours or mine ?


----------



## roadless

Ours is the


----------



## Grumpy old man

confused common thought


----------



## Jaclynne

come together for


----------



## SimplerTimez

Friday fun and


----------



## Jaclynne

contemplation, of which


----------



## SimplerTimez

stars and clouds


----------



## catspjamas

Tea and crumpets

Sent from my XT907 using Homesteading Today mobile app


----------



## JohnnyLee

bangers, smashed peas


----------



## Jaclynne

are served up


----------



## catspjamas

For late nite

Sent from my XT907 using Homesteading Today mobile app


----------



## roadless

:sing::sing::sing:


----------



## SimplerTimez

danced all night,


----------



## Jaclynne

contemplating exoteric nonsense.


----------



## JohnnyLee

and dating suxs


----------



## SimplerTimez

...keep happy though!


----------



## roadless

no it won't (mmmm same time post!)


----------



## roadless

go with flow


----------



## Jaclynne

. Blindly and happily


----------



## JohnnyLee

dating is fun?


----------



## Jaclynne

I don't know.


----------



## SimplerTimez

(consulting magic 8-ball...)


----------



## roadless

past not future


----------



## Jim-mi

due to mortification


----------



## catspjamas

oh the humanity

Sent from my XT907 using Homesteading Today mobile app


----------



## Jaclynne

it's all downhill


----------



## JohnnyLee

no it's not


----------



## roadless

the pendulum swings


----------



## Jaclynne

Okay, it's all


----------



## roadless

part of life


----------



## Jaclynne

eye opening and


----------



## roadless

heart expanding to


----------



## Jaclynne

move carefully forward.


----------



## JohnnyLee

in search of


----------



## roadless

a reason to


----------



## Jaclynne

to play pinochle


----------



## JohnnyLee

or play shuffleboard


----------



## SimplerTimez

, or take up


----------



## Jaclynne

finger knitting socks!


----------



## JohnnyLee

Nothing gets decided


----------



## Jaclynne

without mulling over


----------



## JohnnyLee

the little details.


----------



## Jaclynne

Details are important,


----------



## kentuckyhippie

so is underwear


----------



## Jaclynne

especially when traveling


----------



## catspjamas

way down south


----------



## roadless

riding a horse


----------



## catspjamas

bedecked with bells


----------



## Jim-mi

and custard stains


----------



## SimplerTimez

. Headed to laundromat,


----------



## lonelytree

three HUGE midgets


----------



## roadless

blonde, brunette, redhead,


----------



## SimplerTimez

washing tossing blankets,


----------



## Jim-mi

jock-straps, pink bloomers


----------



## lonelytree

slackers, buncha slackers


----------



## Jaclynne

You calling names?


----------



## Jim-mi

Left handed zombies


----------



## Jaclynne

folding their knickers


----------



## Jim-mi

comparing boob containers


----------



## Jaclynne

and slurping ICEEs


----------



## Jim-mi

from rusty cups


----------



## Jaclynne

. They danced to


----------



## bajiay

the sound of


----------



## Jaclynne

music on their


----------



## catspjamas

tiny transistor radios.


----------



## catspjamas

Erma Jean, Imma Jean, and Norma Jean


----------



## catspjamas

huge midget triplets


----------



## lonelytree

twerking like Mylee


----------



## bajiay

Anything but that!!!


----------



## roadless

date dancing music


----------



## lonelytree

I'ld hit it.


----------



## Jim-mi

rancid ham bone


----------



## catspjamas

attracting unsavory characters


----------



## Jaclynne

non kosher characters,


----------



## lonelytree

pickle headed freakshows


----------



## catspjamas

marching, with banners,


----------



## roadless

proudly protesting the


----------



## lonelytree

dang dirty hippies.


----------



## Jaclynne

"We want pizza!"


----------



## lonelytree

And another beer!


----------



## Jaclynne

said (the) Laundry midgets.


----------



## lonelytree

Cheaters never prosper!


----------



## lonelytree

Someone can't count.


----------



## Jim-mi

over 99 billion


----------



## lonelytree

bottles of beer!


----------



## lonelytree

On the wall!


----------



## Jim-mi

came crashing down


----------



## Fowler

on Jim-mi's head


----------



## Jim-mi

things ain't been


----------



## Jim-mi

the same since


----------



## Jaclynne

his noggin's knocked.


----------



## lonelytree

It's time for


----------



## SimplerTimez

an MRI Jim.


----------



## Raeven

Or new start?


----------



## sustainabilly

Or nerf beer!


----------



## lonelytree

Never trust farts


----------



## catspjamas

especially old farts

Sent from my XT907 using Homesteading Today mobile app


----------



## sustainabilly

Slippery little devils.


----------



## lonelytree

catspjamas said:


> especially old farts
> 
> Sent from my XT907 using Homesteading Today mobile app


No old jokes :flame:

:gaptooth:


----------



## sustainabilly

Where were we?


----------



## roadless

on a river


----------



## Jaclynne

in a kayak,


----------



## lonelytree

feeling gutshot crazy


----------



## sustainabilly

In a cavern,


----------



## Raeven

Who's the subject?


----------



## roadless

:shrug::shrug::shrug:


----------



## sustainabilly

in a canyon


----------



## Jaclynne

Jim needs doctoring!


----------



## sustainabilly

How 'bout _*Jyyiimm!*_


----------



## Raeven

Otis the lumberjack


----------



## lonelytree

bought a chainsaw


----------



## Raeven

, long saved for


----------



## sustainabilly

with pin money


----------



## Raeven

from knitting booties


----------



## lonelytree

and frying bacon


----------



## sustainabilly

in red bloomers


----------



## Raeven

<whimper>

. Otis had notions.


----------



## Tommyice

. Extra crispy bacon


----------



## Tommyice

~~OK Rae, rock-paper-scissors to see which post, at exactly the same time, stays~~ LOL


----------



## Raeven

sold especially well!


----------



## sustainabilly

Otis had delusions,


----------



## Raeven

of becoming a


----------



## sustainabilly

burlesque chainsaw stripper


----------



## Raeven

, perfecting his act


----------



## lonelytree

like Magic Mike


----------



## sustainabilly

on unsuspecting timberdoodles


----------



## Raeven

... ladies couldn't resist.


----------



## lonelytree

He was SEXY!


----------



## SimplerTimez

Sexy man beast?


----------



## sustainabilly

his alluring swish


----------



## Raeven

-- he was MONEY


----------



## sustainabilly

in the bank.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Money, chainsaws, sex...?


----------



## Raeven

(gotta start somewhere)


----------



## SimplerTimez

Meanwhile, back at


----------



## sustainabilly

Now that's livin!


----------



## sustainabilly

Me, non seqitur


----------



## Raeven

the circus headquarters,


----------



## lonelytree

clowns scare me


----------



## SimplerTimez

featuring tumbling rhinos,


----------



## SimplerTimez

<edit grumble edit>
and small children


----------



## Raeven

teetering high above


----------



## sustainabilly

inhaling cotton candy


----------



## lonelytree

a stripper pole


----------



## sustainabilly

and frantically screaming...


----------



## SimplerTimez

(groan)

"Run Candy run!"


----------



## sustainabilly

while dodging horns


----------



## Raeven

of angry rhinos


----------



## SimplerTimez

covered in spun


----------



## sustainabilly

and lustily singing


----------



## SimplerTimez

"Goodnight Irene, Goodnight"


----------



## sustainabilly

Author! Author! Encore!


----------



## Raeven

Otis was dazzled!


----------



## lonelytree

Wind up skirt


----------



## catspjamas

It was spectacular!


----------



## sustainabilly

But the rhinos...


----------



## catspjamas

needed a nap


----------



## lonelytree

were very horny


----------



## sustainabilly

ba dum ba!


----------



## Raeven

. Otis hefted his


----------



## lonelytree

fat hiney up


----------



## vicker

on his unicycle


----------



## Raeven

, pedaled, wobbly, tentative,


----------



## lonelytree

no Spandex please


----------



## vicker

guarding his holstered


----------



## Raeven

bottle of Dickel,


----------



## Jim-mi

Dirty Harry cannon


----------



## Raeven

pointing ominously up


----------



## Jim-mi

To a MRI


----------



## Raeven

(Massively Rugged Inductee)


----------



## kentuckyhippie

or maybe worse


----------



## vicker

Maddening Redbug Itchiness


----------



## Raeven

, Morbidly Rotund Ignoramus,


----------



## vicker

something clearly terrible.


----------



## Raeven

But we digress.


----------



## catspjamas

Which is not unusual


----------



## lonelytree

spoon in cats.....


----------



## bajiay

taste like chicken?


----------



## vicker

Fondling his Dickle,


----------



## Jim-mi

with a ax


----------



## catspjamas

bless his heart


----------



## Raeven

... Otis pondered options.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Stock? Dating? Food?


----------



## Raeven

Please -- not farting!!


----------



## SimplerTimez

On the breeze


----------



## Fowler

it smelled like


----------



## roadless

poo of course


----------



## Fowler

((((awwww I feel so loved)))))....

fairies like poo


----------



## catspjamas

lavender scented poo

Sent from my XT907 using Homesteading Today mobile app


----------



## roadless

from pretty unicorns


----------



## lonelytree

with hairy pits


----------



## Jim-mi

amazingly stinky pits


----------



## sustainabilly

and decided to


----------



## lonelytree

pinch her bottom


----------



## sustainabilly

to get candycorn.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Hard to believe


----------



## sustainabilly

Otis is gay.


----------



## Jaclynne

But its true,


----------



## SimplerTimez

so says the


----------



## Jaclynne

Japanese twin brother.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Sito, the twin


----------



## Jaclynne

was tall and


----------



## sustainabilly

stole Otis' unicycle,


----------



## SimplerTimez

riding whilst blindfolded,


----------



## Raeven

-- chainsaw act kaput.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Limbs lay askew


----------



## lonelytree

but nobody knew


----------



## Raeven

where Sito was.


----------



## sustainabilly

Otis' dark secret.


----------



## Raeven

Howling in pain,


----------



## sustainabilly

Otis went parkouring.


----------



## Raeven

Disturbing to watch.


----------



## sustainabilly

Meanwhile, Sito drank...


----------



## SimplerTimez

a decent Malbec


----------



## vicker

luke warm saki


----------



## Raeven

, darkly regarding his


----------



## SimplerTimez

<edit grumble edit>
limited dating potential.


----------



## sustainabilly

pondered Zombie's remarkable


----------



## Raeven

capacity for juggling


----------



## lonelytree

running Husky chainsaws.


----------



## SimplerTimez

behind hidden hedges.


----------



## Jim-mi

pin ball machines


----------



## SimplerTimez

,vestiges of times


----------



## Raeven

long since past.


----------



## sustainabilly

and seductive lurch.


----------



## lonelytree

Troll walks in


----------



## Jim-mi

and vomits blood


----------



## sustainabilly

carrying a case


----------



## SimplerTimez

with parrot, guitar


----------



## Jim-mi

the parrot farts


----------



## sustainabilly

and fine sippin'


----------



## lonelytree

whiskey and wine


----------



## sustainabilly

Said "Let's talk...


----------



## Raeven

about the future."


----------



## sustainabilly

"Your place or


----------



## Raeven

mine? It's a


----------



## sustainabilly

date, my dear."


----------



## Raeven

"But what about


----------



## sustainabilly

the Baxter twins?


----------



## Raeven

," asked Candy, plaintively.


----------



## sustainabilly

"They can watch."


----------



## Raeven

"Ooooeeeerrrrr, cheeky monkey!!"


----------



## sustainabilly

chortled Candy apprehensively.


----------



## Raeven

She bit her


----------



## sustainabilly

huge dangling nose


----------



## Raeven

, cackling and blushing,


----------



## sustainabilly

and propositioned Sito.


----------



## Raeven

Fleeing in panic,


----------



## sustainabilly

Sito held his


----------



## Raeven

appetite for excessive


----------



## sustainabilly

wild zombie sex.


----------



## Raeven

Candy's careful manuduction


----------



## sustainabilly

,her tricksy femaleness,


----------



## Raeven

... her mesmerizing proboscis...


----------



## sustainabilly

and lascivious leer


----------



## Raeven

belied her intentions.


----------



## sustainabilly

Troll got jealous.


----------



## sustainabilly

Went to bed,


----------



## Raeven

After three days


----------



## Jim-mi

Otis showed up


----------



## Raeven

, ready for trouble.


----------



## Jim-mi

wanting kinky sex


----------



## Raeven

-- but alas, cuckolded.


----------



## Jim-mi

his appendage wilted


----------



## kentuckyhippie

like yesterdays rose


----------



## lonelytree

for a picture pose


----------



## Delrio

of a beautiful


----------



## SimplerTimez

antique garden hose.


----------



## Jim-mi

leaky at that


----------



## Fowler

but ducktape fixes


----------



## catspjamas

a broken dream

Sent from my XT907 using Homesteading Today mobile app


----------



## Fowler

catcher and glasses :nerd:


----------



## catspjamas

The band played

Sent from my XT907 using Homesteading Today mobile app


----------



## Jim-mi

dumb de dum


----------



## sustainabilly

Otis cried in


----------



## Jim-mi

the old spit-toon


----------



## sustainabilly

, sparked another doobee,


----------



## catspjamas

Never again would

Sent from my XT907 using Homesteading Today mobile app


----------



## lonelytree

got the munchees


----------



## SimplerTimez

<cannot keep up!>

or cotton mouth;


----------



## Jaclynne

"Finally!" Ruby thought


----------



## SimplerTimez

, "I've found my


----------



## vicker

Illuminati membership card!


----------



## sustainabilly

"Now I can...


----------



## SimplerTimez

illuminate the night!


----------



## Raeven

Sadly, Ruby's cathisophobia


----------



## Jaclynne

kept her standing


----------



## Raeven

at uneasy attention


----------



## Jim-mi

way too hot


----------



## Delrio

and way too


----------



## SimplerTimez

sweaty. Time for


----------



## Raeven

Ruby's cello lesson.


----------



## Jim-mi

with no bow


----------



## SimplerTimez

Ruby got plucky.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Later that day,


----------



## catspjamas

Otis made muffins

Sent from my XT907 using Homesteading Today mobile app


----------



## SimplerTimez

stuffed with blueberries,


----------



## lonelytree

spurs and rugburn


----------



## SimplerTimez

; not too tasty


----------



## SimplerTimez

Ruby tended Otis'


----------



## kentuckyhippie

droopy garden hose


----------



## Jim-mi

Kinky garden hose


----------



## Jim-mi

nine months later


----------



## SimplerTimez

Sito found love.


----------



## Jim-mi

well almost love


----------



## SimplerTimez

- love American Style?


----------



## Jim-mi

mission style thankyou


----------



## lonelytree

Doggy style too.


----------



## Jim-mi

Otis just couldn't


----------



## Jaclynne

accomplish Karma Sutra


----------



## Raeven

while fashioning origami


----------



## Jaclynne

, but he tried!


----------



## Raeven

A chicken named


----------



## catspjamas

Rufus, wearing camo


----------



## Raeven

, polishing his spurs


----------



## Jaclynne

on unsuspecting shinbones


----------



## Delrio

lost his head


----------



## Jim-mi

to a lass


----------



## Jaclynne

with a hachet


----------



## catspjamas

becoming Sunday dinner.

Sent from my XT907 using Homesteading Today mobile app


----------



## sustainabilly

Unfortunately, the chook


----------



## kentuckyhippie

was inedible tough


----------



## SimplerTimez

;gamey to boot!


----------



## sustainabilly

Broke Ruby's tooth!


----------



## SimplerTimez

'Bout then, Sito


----------



## sustainabilly

found religion, and


----------



## SimplerTimez

dismayed the ladies;


----------



## catspjamas

With hellfire and

Sent from my XT907 using Homesteading Today mobile app


----------



## SimplerTimez

hotrods a' gunnin


----------



## sustainabilly

juggling flaming cats.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Wearing sexy hats,


----------



## sustainabilly

Ruby, Otis, 'nSito...


----------



## SimplerTimez

daintily traipsed into


----------



## Jaclynne

a trio from


----------



## SimplerTimez

Possum Belly Holler,


----------



## CajunSunshine

wearing matching tutus


----------



## SimplerTimez

, snazzy muck boots


----------



## sustainabilly

and playing balalaikas.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Musical talents aside,


----------



## sustainabilly

they really stink.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Olfactory negativity aside,


----------



## Jaclynne

they carried huge


----------



## SimplerTimez

dictionaries, in order


----------



## Jaclynne

(to) translate ancient volumes


----------



## SimplerTimez

of lovesick pentameter


----------



## Jaclynne

hoping to win


----------



## SimplerTimez

the lugubrious hearts


----------



## Jim-mi

and clean muckboots


----------



## Jaclynne

of the dastardly


----------



## catspjamas

huge midget triplets


----------



## Jaclynne

, secretly soft-hearted, but


----------



## DUlrich

always acting out


----------



## Jim-mi

playing sidewalk hopscotch


----------



## Jaclynne

and string puzzles


----------



## catspjamas

Eating snow cones

Sent from my XT907 using Homesteading Today mobile app


----------



## Jim-mi

with green slime


----------



## catspjamas

Ethereal sounds of


----------



## Jim-mi

zombies singing "Hold-me"


----------



## catspjamas

were heard amidst


----------



## kentuckyhippie

impromptu yodeling contests


----------



## roadless

a deafening cacophony


----------



## Jaclynne

yet somehow melodious.


----------



## sustainabilly

Otis sang bass,


----------



## Jim-mi

Ruby sang high


----------



## Raeven

, screeching a capella


----------



## DUlrich

renditions of classic


----------



## Jim-mi

Rockabilly dum dums


----------



## kentuckyhippie

and hillbilly blues


----------



## roadless

penetrating the din,


----------



## Raeven

another peculiar song


----------



## roadless

eerie and primal,


----------



## Raeven

wafting from over


----------



## roadless

the moonlit river


----------



## Raeven

caught Ruby's ear.


----------



## Jim-mi

her center ear


----------



## sustainabilly

The Sonata Le'Baskerville


----------



## Raeven

interrupted her throaty


----------



## sustainabilly

ascending, primal ululation.


----------



## Raeven

Turning her head,


----------



## catspjamas

360 degrees and


----------



## sustainabilly

growling threateningly, she


----------



## Jim-mi

her teeth fell


----------



## bajiay

into the toilet


----------



## catspjamas

the porcelain throne


----------



## Jim-mi

into the poo


----------



## catspjamas

Jim-mi said:


> into the poo


(It always seems to come back to poo or gas) 

Sent from my XT907 using Homesteading Today mobile app


----------



## catspjamas

Jim-mi said:


> into the poo


A distressing dilemma

Sent from my XT907 using Homesteading Today mobile app


----------



## Raeven

of tiresome monotony.


----------



## SimplerTimez

An itinerate minstrel


----------



## roadless

playing a Hurdy- gurdy


----------



## SimplerTimez

whilst balancing on


----------



## roadless

a river log


----------



## SimplerTimez

, wearing wooden clogs


----------



## roadless

amazing agility displayed.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Agility caught Ruby's


----------



## catspjamas

fancy. Passion flared

Sent from my XT907 using Homesteading Today mobile app


----------



## roadless

primal and raw


----------



## kentuckyhippie

hot and nasty


----------



## Raeven

-- wooden clog-inspired --


----------



## SimplerTimez

all intellect aside.


<edit, grumble, edit>


----------



## roadless

Startling Ruby a


----------



## SimplerTimez

muse of capons


----------



## sustainabilly

brandishing poultry skewers


----------



## Raeven

with impressive acumen


----------



## Jim-mi

And sweaty arm-pits


----------



## SimplerTimez

. Ruby lost interest.


----------



## Raeven

Braiding pretty flowers,


----------



## roadless

to adorn the


----------



## sustainabilly

strange, caponlike substance,


----------



## Jim-mi

dripping profusely from


----------



## catspjamas

overhead light fixtures.


----------



## Delrio

Ruby didn't like


----------



## SimplerTimez

the illuminating glare


----------



## Jim-mi

of Bigfoots eyeball


----------



## Jaclynne

nor his stench


----------



## Fowler

of fish Jerky


----------



## sustainabilly

. "Get back!" cried


----------



## Jim-mi

Otis . . I'll shoot


----------



## sustainabilly

the stink off'nya!


----------



## Fowler

~flings sheep poo~


----------



## catspjamas

Fowler said:


> ~flings sheep poo~


 (There it is again!)

hitting Ruby on


----------



## kentuckyhippie

her bulbous butt


----------



## Jim-mi

and ample boobs


----------



## Delrio

dripping on her


----------



## SimplerTimez

dainty little feet.


----------



## Fowler

The men stare


----------



## Jim-mi

at shredded bloomers


----------



## Fowler

and dookie toes


----------



## catspjamas

Fowler said:


> and dookie toes


I couldn't resist:


----------



## catspjamas

Wishing they had


----------



## Jim-mi

pots of sauerkraut


----------



## catspjamas

, lutefisk and beer


----------



## Jim-mi

a farting contest


----------



## SimplerTimez

ran off everyone.


----------



## Jim-mi

to the outhouse


----------



## catspjamas

crawling with spiders


----------



## kentuckyhippie

and cootie bugs


----------



## Jim-mi

and no corncobs


----------



## catspjamas

or Sears catalog.


----------



## Jim-mi

overwhelming odoriferous poo


----------



## catspjamas

Poof! Poo disappeared.


----------



## catspjamas

Like Bill's posts,


----------



## catspjamas

never to return.


----------



## Raeven

*** Brief Intermission ***

It seems we have reached a point of discussion on the Story thread. In the interest of letting all opinions be heard, I encourage us to have a chat.

Perhaps some wish to see the thread removed in its entirety. Perhaps some still enjoy seeing where it might take us. Clearly, some wish to move it solely in a scatological direction, and I donât quite understand the charm of or reasons for that. In this direction, my emphatic vote is, âNo!â I would prefer to see the Mods take the thread down in its entirety over continually trying to divert from this tiresome theme.

I thank everyone who has participated in such a way that we have managed, against almost impossible ST odds, to carry on a thread for over 100 pages and 3,000 posts without once requiring Mod review. Thatâs quite something, and I hope fun has been had doing it. As for its future, it's up to you all.

So, fellow story writers, what are your views?


----------



## sustainabilly

re: off color, antihomesteadingtodaysingletreecountrynonconformist offenders. 
Those dirty rule breakers! Ban 'em! Ban 'em all!

I like the thread.


Hey Raeven, what's this on the bottom of my shoe, huh?


----------



## roadless

treads?


----------



## sustainabilly

No roadless. Look at my fingers. Three words.


----------



## roadless

black rubber treads


----------



## sustainabilly

nice sensible shoes.

The End


----------



## Jim-mi

Not the end . . .just the beginning........


----------



## catspjamas

a new direction


----------



## Jim-mi

What with the Obummer insanity going on daily, I like the tiny area of 'three word'. . . .always good for a chuckle . . . .
What is wrong with a bit of potty humor now and again . . .??

From my posts you can tell that I flunked my Edgar Allen Poe class when I was in college.
But that was so long ago . . .was it Poe or Kipling . .??

Just remember . . . . Stupid is. . .as stupid does.........

Now where is Otis hiding . . .?????????


----------



## catspjamas

Jim-mi said:


> Now where is Otis hiding . . .?????????


In the closet


----------



## Jim-mi

in the dark . . ?


----------



## Fowler

Without a clue


----------



## SimplerTimez

, chased a gnu


----------



## kentuckyhippie

but not alone


----------



## catspjamas

with a gorilla


----------



## Raeven

of immense strength


----------



## SimplerTimez

and effortless agility,


----------



## sustainabilly

and magnetic personality


----------



## catspjamas

wearing striped suspenders


----------



## Raeven

-- Otis was intimidated.


----------



## catspjamas

He wanted suspenders


----------



## Raeven

and Bowler hat


----------



## SimplerTimez

, and fancy wing-tips


----------



## Raeven

. Pomp and circumstance


----------



## sustainabilly

ruled the night.


----------



## Raeven

Dancing with gorillas


----------



## sustainabilly

in a glittering


----------



## Raeven

disco, Otis wondered


----------



## sustainabilly

What's your sign?


----------



## Jim-mi

sign of times


----------



## SimplerTimez

. But times change,


----------



## sustainabilly

things're lookin up!


----------



## SimplerTimez

A positive perspective


----------



## sustainabilly

in uncertain times.


----------



## ratamahatta

You bartle doo!


----------



## sustainabilly

No I don't!!?


----------



## Jim-mi

yes you do


----------



## SimplerTimez

Whoooo are you? (sorry, first thing that popped into my head after reading the few above posts...lol)


----------



## catspjamas

A precocious chimp


----------



## sustainabilly

How can have...


----------



## SimplerTimez

thought train derailment.


----------



## sustainabilly

any pudding, if


----------



## Raeven

Ruby would just


----------



## vicker

eat her meat.


----------



## Raeven

Tenderly prepared with


----------



## Jim-mi

fermented limburger cheese


----------



## SimplerTimez

, whilst nose-holding daintily


----------



## Jim-mi

eye dripping onions


----------



## kentuckyhippie

twisting and shouting


----------



## SimplerTimez

, hootin' and hollerin'


----------



## Raeven

, "Make it stop!!"


----------



## Jim-mi

Otis jumped into


----------



## vicker

a small pirogue


----------



## Raeven

and hastily rowed


----------



## vicker

and rowed and


----------



## Raeven

rowed to Monterey,


----------



## vicker

Otis smelled grilled


----------



## Raeven

roasted peppers with


----------



## elkhound

fresh venison tenderloins


----------



## Raeven

, homemade tortillas and


----------



## elkhound

lettuce,onions and tomato


----------



## Raeven

. Following his nose,


----------



## elkhound

down the hall


----------



## Raeven

, Otis wondered if


----------



## elkhound

she was waiting


----------



## Raeven

with venison tacos


----------



## vicker

on tables, wearing


----------



## elkhound

and kissed him


----------



## Raeven

with unexpected tenderness.


----------



## vicker

miss matched soxs.


----------



## elkhound

he held her


----------



## vicker

two little toes


----------



## Raeven

, aiming to remove


----------



## vicker

his teeth and


----------



## Raeven

her haughty smirk


----------



## vicker

while gently nibbling


----------



## Raeven

-- using gums only --


----------



## vicker

those delectable little


----------



## Raeven

mattress tags, reading


----------



## vicker

old furnace manuals.


----------



## Raeven

He took up


----------



## vicker

Knitting upon returning


----------



## Raeven

to his village,


----------



## vicker

after such long


----------



## Raeven

hours spent training,


----------



## vicker

knitting calmed his


----------



## Raeven

shattered, janky nerves


----------



## catspjamas

And made dandy


----------



## Jim-mi

predacious attacks on


----------



## sustainabilly

fuzzy baby booties


----------



## Jim-mi

Ruby . . .Where is-u


----------



## sustainabilly

safe deposit box?


----------



## catspjamas

Under a tree


----------



## sustainabilly

empty and broken


----------



## SimplerTimez

, missing its treasures.


----------



## Jim-mi

full of beans


----------



## SimplerTimez

triple-washed for safety!


----------



## catspjamas

The rain fell


----------



## Raeven

, forlorn and cold,


----------



## roadless

puddle dancing began


----------



## Jim-mi

on dainty toes


----------



## SimplerTimez

protected by muck-boots


----------



## catspjamas

. Holding a purple


----------



## sustainabilly

porpoise on purpose,


----------



## SimplerTimez

Ruby and Sito


----------



## sustainabilly

danced a mud


----------



## Jim-mi

extracurricular two step


----------



## SimplerTimez

, wearing tin-foil hats


----------



## kentuckyhippie

and striped pajamas


----------



## sustainabilly

while mud wrestling.


----------



## Jim-mi

live red alligators


----------



## CajunSunshine

and de swamp-monsta


----------



## DUlrich

which was almost


----------



## CajunSunshine

fulla tourists anyway


----------



## Jim-mi

50cents to peek


----------



## catspjamas

$1.00 to touch


----------



## Raeven

grilled cheese sandwiches


----------



## Jim-mi

topped with sardines


----------



## kentuckyhippie

homebrew for drinking


----------



## sustainabilly

and confusing monologue.


----------



## Jim-mi

about inbred zombies


----------



## sustainabilly

Sito said, "Ruby


----------



## kentuckyhippie

yo so purty


----------



## sustainabilly

, you make me


----------



## Guest

a complete unknown.


----------



## sustainabilly

My aura glows


----------



## Guest

like northern lights


----------



## sustainabilly

when you pull


----------



## Jim-mi

your bloomers off


----------



## sustainabilly

"Those aren't my


----------



## Raeven

bloomers, they're my


----------



## sustainabilly

custom grill bra!"


----------



## Raeven

Ruby rolled her


----------



## sustainabilly

[Mod limited]
eyes, while she


----------



## Raeven

picked at a


----------



## sustainabilly

large, furry mole.


----------



## Raeven

Edgar, the mole,


----------



## sustainabilly

crawled up Sito's


----------



## Raeven

cello, which happened


----------



## sustainabilly

to be hidden


----------



## Raeven

in an obscure


----------



## sustainabilly

seldom referenced orifice,


----------



## Raeven

known as "toolshed."


----------



## sustainabilly

"Oh my!, Ruby


----------



## Raeven

exclaimed! "What a


----------



## vicker

bubbly gurgling giggle?


----------



## Raeven

emitted from her


----------



## vicker

burnished brass emitter.


----------



## sustainabilly

perfect time for


----------



## Raeven

photography lessons, which


----------



## sustainabilly

will explain our


----------



## Raeven

rather disturbing preoccupation


----------



## sustainabilly

with toolshed anatomy.


----------



## vicker

Ruby worked an


----------



## Raeven

(I would have said bloomers...)

her 1971 Corvette


----------



## sustainabilly

buffing the chrome


----------



## vicker

lots of chrome


----------



## Raeven

sleek, satiny, sexy --


----------



## sustainabilly

with red bloomers. (okay?)


----------



## Raeven

(LOL, I'm so sick of bloomers!!!)

The Corvette gleamed.


----------



## vicker

Ruby smiled, lazily.


----------



## sustainabilly

"I can see


----------



## vicker

The moon, faintly


----------



## Raeven

reflected in your


----------



## sustainabilly

big shiny teeth.


----------



## vicker

brown wing tips.


----------



## sustainabilly

Sito chortled smugly,


----------



## vicker

Ruby blushed modestly,


----------



## sustainabilly

Their passionate embrace


----------



## Raeven

awkward and ungainly.


----------



## vicker

Forest creatures halted


----------



## Raeven

-- love ain't pretty.


----------



## sustainabilly

Edgar belched contentedly,


----------



## vicker

in the raw.


----------



## Raeven

Reeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllyyyyyyy not pretty!!!


----------



## sustainabilly

The two lovers


----------



## Raeven

skulked off to


----------



## sustainabilly

harass innocent bystanders


----------



## vicker

with lies and


----------



## sustainabilly

irrelevant nonsensical witticisms.


----------



## Raeven

somewhat dubious incantations.


----------



## sustainabilly

Edgar climbed back


----------



## Raeven

toward safety, fearing


----------



## Jim-mi

loosing his teeth


----------



## sustainabilly

the return of


----------



## Raeven

Otis with shotgun.


----------



## sustainabilly

green eyes flaming.


----------



## Jim-mi

both barells flashing


----------



## vicker

Edgar's hands went


----------



## sustainabilly

"Gimme three steps," (oops)


----------



## Raeven

automatically for his

(Hey -- isn't Edgar a MOLE??)


----------



## vicker

little, furry toolshed.


----------



## Raeven

He searched for


----------



## vicker

something of substance,


----------



## Raeven

a poem, perhaps


----------



## vicker

, as his thoughts


----------



## SimplerTimez

filtered through imagination,


----------



## Jim-mi

on cloud thirteen (most unimaginative would say nine)


----------



## catspjamas

He required total


----------



## kentuckyhippie

gymnastic abilities and


----------



## sustainabilly

blind mole-like tenacity


----------



## Jim-mi

to burl under


----------



## catspjamas

the public library


----------



## sustainabilly

Ruby chased Edgar


----------



## Jim-mi

over hill-and-dale


----------



## catspjamas

through the woods


----------



## Raeven

, to grandma's house


----------



## sustainabilly

where a big


----------



## catspjamas

bad pixie had


----------



## Raeven

left tempting cookies


----------



## sustainabilly

. Being blind, Edgar


----------



## Raeven

sniffed and drooled


----------



## sustainabilly

crying piteously for


----------



## Raeven

peanut butter chocolate


----------



## sustainabilly

double dipped macaroons.


----------



## Raeven

(Really, who wouldn't?)


----------



## sustainabilly

But alas, Edgar


----------



## Jim-mi

wanted grandmas brothel


----------



## vicker

and jolly grandpa


----------



## Raeven

, holding his breath


----------



## catspjamas

turned blue and


----------



## vicker

honed his knife.


----------



## catspjamas

Mole stew, perhaps?


----------



## Jim-mi

with toasted marshmellows


----------



## catspjamas

Along with


----------



## sustainabilly

[Hey! Foul! That's 12 words incl the label. ]
and blueberry buckle


----------



## Jim-mi

with fermented truffles


----------



## catspjamas

sustainabilly said:


> [Hey! Foul! That's 12 words incl the label. ]
> and blueberry buckle


[uh uh, it was only 2 words and a picture. ]

making a lovely


----------



## sustainabilly

picture worth 1000


----------



## catspjamas

lop eared rabbits


----------



## sustainabilly

. The forlorn rodent


----------



## Raeven

pondered his options.


----------



## sustainabilly

Scratching his furry


----------



## SimplerTimez

little top hat,


----------



## sustainabilly

nose twitching furiously,


----------



## Raeven

mighty toes flexed


----------



## sustainabilly

he leapt gymnastically


----------



## SimplerTimez

over Sito's backside,


----------



## sustainabilly

executing a perfect


----------



## Raeven

triple sow-kow, with


----------



## sustainabilly

triple lindy dismount


----------



## SimplerTimez

with artful panache,

<edit, grumble, edit>


----------



## Raeven

showing off for


----------



## sustainabilly

the coquettish molettes


----------



## SimplerTimez

. Totally disingenuous moles (not to be confused with mole sauce)


----------



## sustainabilly

and waifish molelings,


----------



## Raeven

which comprised the


----------



## sustainabilly

awestruck, admiring audience


----------



## Raeven

. Waxing his eyebrows,


----------



## sustainabilly

he haughtily proclaimed,


----------



## Raeven

"Offer not valid --


----------



## sustainabilly

in Outer Mongolia.


----------



## SimplerTimez

However, Inner Mongolia


----------



## Jim-mi

is translucent, therefore


----------



## catspjamas

not a viable


----------



## vicker

option for small


----------



## SimplerTimez

-minded, timid moles.


----------



## Jim-mi

suffering from garrulousness


----------



## Raeven

and petty natures.


----------



## sustainabilly

Hefting his glockenspiel,


----------



## catspjamas

Sito played a


----------



## SimplerTimez

trilling soulful tune,


----------



## sustainabilly

Steely Dan song.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Competition for Ruby's


----------



## vicker

famously fickle friendship


----------



## sustainabilly

devolved into slanderous


----------



## vicker

sickening spit slinging


----------



## sustainabilly

and scurrilous scandalizing.


----------



## vicker

Everyone enormously enjoyed


----------



## sustainabilly

Edgar's electrifying elocution,


----------



## SimplerTimez

all alliteration allowable!


----------



## Raeven

Ruby, rident, roborean,


----------



## sustainabilly

deliciously, decadently decked


----------



## SimplerTimez

equivocally evocative, encouraging


----------



## Raeven

in ianthine impudicity,


----------



## sustainabilly

strolled seductively southward.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Feeling frequently foolish,


----------



## Raeven

Ruby arrived in


----------



## vicker

resplendent raunchy red


----------



## sustainabilly

"Veni, vidi, vici,"


----------



## Raeven

gown, glowing gratuitously


----------



## Jim-mi

high-strung haughty harlequin


----------



## Raeven

flossing her tooth.


----------



## catspjamas

Falling down drunk


----------



## Jim-mi

vomit flowing freely


----------



## Raeven

... who could resist


----------



## SimplerTimez

another story derailment?


----------



## kentuckyhippie

meanwhile in chicago


----------



## sustainabilly

our redoubtable hero


----------



## Raeven

, Kevin the Hammer,


----------



## sustainabilly

went sturgeon spearing


----------



## Raeven

with trust sidekick


----------



## Jim-mi

screw driver Willy


----------



## doodlemom

smelling of anchovies


----------



## sustainabilly

swilling peppermint schnapps,


----------



## vicker

and stump water.


----------



## sustainabilly

Kevin's spear accidentally


----------



## Jim-mi

pierced Peter's paraphernalia


----------



## catspjamas

Releasing raucous ravens


----------



## sustainabilly

to devour caviar


----------



## Jim-mi

topped with Limburger


----------



## catspjamas

and bratwurst on


----------



## sustainabilly

ripening sturgeon fillets.


----------



## catspjamas

Eating until they


----------



## sustainabilly

were unable to


----------



## catspjamas

play the hokey-pokey


----------



## sustainabilly

the feathered sluggards


----------



## rkintn

laughed and laughed


----------



## sustainabilly

while waddling toward


----------



## rkintn

a bright light.


----------



## sustainabilly

Ruby's new beau


----------



## Jim-mi

from the cave


----------



## sustainabilly

of many swallows


----------



## kentuckyhippie

wearing 70's doubleknit


----------



## sustainabilly

leisure-suit and platforms


----------



## rkintn

doing the Hustle


----------



## sustainabilly

to "Stayin' Alive"


----------



## rkintn

making Travolta jealous


----------



## sustainabilly

with his gyrating


----------



## rkintn

polyester clad hips


----------



## sustainabilly

asked, "Backgammon babe?"


----------



## rkintn

"What is backgammon?"


----------



## sustainabilly

Ruby asked. "A


----------



## rkintn

daring game of


----------



## sustainabilly

chance. To soften


----------



## Jim-mi

nostalgic nin-compoops


----------



## rkintn

as they sit


----------



## Jim-mi

in flat-bottom rockingchairs


----------



## rkintn

rocking, rocking, rocking


----------



## Raeven

as they ponder


----------



## rkintn

the meaning of


----------



## Raeven

Horny Toads throatily


----------



## sustainabilly

croaking Bee Gees


----------



## Raeven

out of tune.


----------



## sustainabilly

Ruby smiled raptly


----------



## catspjamas

with deep emotion


----------



## sustainabilly

gazing at the


----------



## catspjamas

underside of Edgar's


----------



## Raeven

strangely mesmerizing snout.


----------



## sustainabilly

Edgar snuffled appreciatively.


----------



## catspjamas

Ruby sighed and


----------



## sustainabilly

ran her fingers


----------



## catspjamas

through Edgar's silky


----------



## sustainabilly

rodent tool shed


----------



## Jim-mi

finding red lice


----------



## catspjamas

and spider mites.


----------



## sustainabilly

"Hey, that's breakfast!"


----------



## Jim-mi

lice, mites, limburger


----------



## SimplerTimez

- trip to ER!


----------



## Jim-mi

MRI to go


----------



## catspjamas

needs IV, stat!


----------



## Jim-mi

vasectomy to follow


----------



## SimplerTimez

. Flowers were sent.


----------



## catspjamas

hospital gown jokes


----------



## Jim-mi

wide open tush


----------



## sustainabilly

Edgar donated his


----------



## SimplerTimez

soft velvety fur


----------



## Raeven

to a needful


----------



## sustainabilly

kindly, hairless chihuahua


----------



## Raeven

-- tears of gratitude


----------



## sustainabilly

"Gracias, mi mola!"


----------



## Raeven

"De nada," smiled


----------



## sustainabilly

Edgar, hairlessly contented.


----------



## Raeven

Still, cold permeated


----------



## Jim-mi

his bare tush


----------



## sustainabilly

shamefully displayed due


----------



## Raeven

his hairless condition,


----------



## sustainabilly

Eyeballing Ruby's coiffure,


----------



## Jim-mi

body temperature falling


----------



## Raeven

... desperate antics ensued.


----------



## sustainabilly

Tropical fruit flew


----------



## SimplerTimez

while Ruby investigated


----------



## sustainabilly

her hairy knuckles.


----------



## Raeven

"What the dickens!"


----------



## sustainabilly

cried Edgar, uncovering


----------



## catspjamas

a slew of


----------



## sustainabilly

Ruby's lost barrettes.


----------



## Jim-mi

and fingerless gloves


----------



## Raeven

. Her hair roiled


----------



## sustainabilly

like the surface


----------



## Raeven

of an unruly


----------



## sustainabilly

ocean. Whipping about


----------



## bajiay

like Medusa's snakes


----------



## SimplerTimez

. Edgar was mollified,


----------



## sustainabilly

But Ruby missed


----------



## Raeven

her crazy hair


----------



## sustainabilly

-y younger days.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Sighing in reverie,


----------



## sustainabilly

she lit a


----------



## Raeven

bottle rocket and


----------



## sustainabilly

said a goodbye


----------



## Raeven

as it soared


----------



## sustainabilly

away like her


----------



## Raeven

heart on wings


----------



## sustainabilly

of sappy platitudes.


----------



## kentuckyhippie

and crocodile tears


----------



## Jim-mi

on burlap skirts


----------



## catspjamas

chasing rainbow promises


----------



## Raeven

and ashen dreams.


----------



## Jim-mi

meanwhile her omnipotent


----------



## sustainabilly

reminiscences led her


----------



## catspjamas

to over yonder


----------



## sustainabilly

the cloggin' tent.


----------



## catspjamas

Where flatfooting Johnny


----------



## sustainabilly

Two Toes stumbled


----------



## Jim-mi

down memory lane


----------



## catspjamas

while waxing eloquently


----------



## Raeven

on the virtues


----------



## catspjamas

of goose grease


----------



## Raeven

to fry potatoes


----------



## vicker

,as opposed to


----------



## Raeven

oversized Swedish meatballs.


----------



## catspjamas

Ruby hollered for


----------



## vicker

for more goose


----------



## Raeven

fat, to make


----------



## catspjamas

a cold remedy.


----------



## Raeven

Her famous concoction


----------



## bajiay

was indeed a


----------



## catspjamas

wonder to behold


----------



## kentuckyhippie

green and bubbley


----------



## bajiay

and smelled like


----------



## Delrio

fungus among us


----------



## Jim-mi

with Limburger cheese


----------



## catspjamas

not for the


----------



## catspjamas

faint of heart.


----------



## kentuckyhippie

or weak stomachs


----------



## Raeven

. Still, its efficacy


----------



## Jim-mi

is insurmountable ---usually


----------



## sustainabilly

if taken while


----------



## Jim-mi

standing on ice


----------



## catspjamas

holding a stuffed


----------



## Raeven

penguin. Otherwise, sterner


----------



## sustainabilly

measures must be


----------



## Guest

ashes of laughter.


----------



## Raeven

Thankfully, nobody died.


----------



## Guest

Except the angel.


----------



## sustainabilly

Dashing Ruby's hopes


----------



## Guest

of mucho funno.


----------



## sustainabilly

Yet, hope springs


----------



## Raeven

eternal in the


----------



## sustainabilly

human breast, Man


----------



## Raeven

or woman, so


----------



## sustainabilly

always to be


----------



## Guest

too much nothing.


----------



## sustainabilly

The soul, uneasy


----------



## Raeven

(Everything is nothing.)


----------



## Guest

Nothing ain't everything!!


----------



## Raeven

Much too esoteric...


----------



## Guest

Sadly, you're right.


----------



## Jim-mi

least of which


----------



## Raeven

Our story resumes...


----------



## sustainabilly

Oh pish tosh!


----------



## Guest

Self-righteous flagellation, here.


----------



## Jim-mi

zombies in sight


----------



## sustainabilly

No pee Cheerios.


----------



## Jim-mi

with sour milk


----------



## sustainabilly

Favorite yogurt recipe?


----------



## SimplerTimez

Twilight Zone flashbacks?


----------



## Raeven

Meanwhile, back at


----------



## sustainabilly

the peanut factory,


----------



## Raeven

Roscoe the hamster


----------



## sustainabilly

Edgar's branch cousin,


----------



## SimplerTimez

spinning his wheel,


----------



## Raeven

of scheming. His


----------



## sustainabilly

mind seeing patterns


----------



## Jim-mi

connect the dots


----------



## Raeven

slipping into psychosis...


----------



## Jaclynne

of grandiose scheming


----------



## catspjamas

of freedom from


----------



## vicker

the age old


----------



## Jaclynne

horror of toe-jam


----------



## Jim-mi

causing mental exhaustion


----------



## SimplerTimez

a podiatrist visit,


----------



## catspjamas

and a new


----------



## Jim-mi

bottle of sasafras


----------



## sustainabilly

cure all tonic,


----------



## Guest

a handsome woman


----------



## sustainabilly

is man's tonic


----------



## Jim-mi

a tweety bird


----------



## catspjamas

flew the coop


----------



## Jaclynne

telling the tale


----------



## bajiay

of Sylvester himself.


----------



## Jaclynne

The delivery was


----------



## Jim-mi

totally discursive, otherwise


----------



## SimplerTimez

known as rambling.


----------



## Jaclynne

Quite painful listening


----------



## Jim-mi

to obtuse pandemonium


----------



## SimplerTimez

; rather like Singletree!


----------



## Jim-mi

sophistication be damed


----------



## SimplerTimez

, fun, games, till


----------



## Jim-mi

cows come home


----------



## SimplerTimez

mooing and lowing


----------



## catspjamas

chewing their cud


----------



## bajiay

while wearing spurs!


----------



## Jim-mi

and hunter orange


----------



## Jaclynne

bloomers, of course!


----------



## Jim-mi

adorned with lace


----------



## kentuckyhippie

and tinkly bells


----------



## Jaclynne

embroidered in delicate


----------



## Jim-mi

Carhart quilt lined


----------



## SimplerTimez

khaki, with gold


----------



## catspjamas

-plated piglet charms


----------



## Jim-mi

gold nose rings


----------



## SimplerTimez

to match their


----------



## bajiay

red rabbit ears.


----------



## Jim-mi

and purple parsnips


----------



## Jaclynne

to please their


----------



## kentuckyhippie

strange fashion sense


----------



## catspjamas

and childlike zen


----------



## bajiay

the cows whistled


----------



## vicker

on a flat


----------



## SimplerTimez

note of rumination


----------



## Jim-mi

and complete disdain


----------



## catspjamas

for orderly processes


----------



## Jaclynne

and superfluous phrasing


----------



## Jim-mi

of ridiculous snorting


----------



## SimplerTimez

coffee, quickly exhaling.


----------



## Jim-mi

great greasy globs


----------



## catspjamas

of gopher grits


----------



## Jim-mi

sauteed in bear-grease


----------



## catspjamas

just right for


----------



## Jaclynne

gastrointestinally deadened taste


----------



## Jim-mi

typical haute cusine


----------



## kentuckyhippie

for garden gnomes


----------



## SimplerTimez

and hairless moles.


----------



## Jim-mi

with twinkle toes


----------



## SimplerTimez

and well-worn hoes.


----------



## Jim-mi

slip sliding away


----------



## catspjamas

you know the


----------



## Jim-mi

sex starts when


----------



## catspjamas

Bing Crosby croons


----------



## Jim-mi

Spartan fight song . . . . . . .(Mich state U )


----------



## catspjamas

beaten by Irish


----------



## Jim-mi

green gobbly gremlins 


(surprised at the word that got zapped . . .a very common word . . . .and I did not use it in any way of a derogatory manner . . . . .had no idea that it was not PC . . .just another form of suppressing our freedom of speech . . . plain BS)


----------



## catspjamas

without a care

(curious as to the word that got zapped)


----------



## SimplerTimez

zigging and zagging


----------



## catspjamas

picking and grinning


----------



## kentuckyhippie

thru cotton fields


----------



## catspjamas

walking barefooted with


----------



## Jim-mi

big rat snakes


----------



## catspjamas

speaking in tongues


----------



## Jim-mi

French of course


----------



## Jaclynne

in homilies and


----------



## catspjamas

double entendres which


----------



## Jaclynne

convey the tale


----------



## Jim-mi

about strange sex


----------



## catspjamas

Amongst strange creatures.


----------



## Jim-mi

like hippopotamus do


----------



## Fowler

when their drunk


----------



## catspjamas

mates return from


----------



## Jim-mi

the iron hotel


----------



## Jaclynne

after days of


----------



## L.A.

dark nights and


----------



## Jim-mi

prickly pear smoothies


----------



## Jaclynne

spiked with tequila


----------



## sustainabilly

. Roscoe said, "Ruby?


----------



## L.A.

that darn tequila


----------



## sustainabilly

makes your clothes


----------



## catspjamas

sparkle and shimmer


----------



## Jim-mi

......take them off


----------



## catspjamas

you're blinding me


----------



## bajiay

She did then...


----------



## catspjamas

folded them neatly


----------



## SimplerTimez

, clicked her heels,


----------



## catspjamas

and returned home.


----------



## Jim-mi

bare grits naked


----------



## L.A.

shaking the salt


----------



## bajiay

and ready for


----------



## Jaclynne

shocking all neighbors


----------



## SimplerTimez

via Tawdry Tequila


----------



## catspjamas

Edgar grabbed Roscoe's


----------



## kentuckyhippie

bulbous drinkers nose


----------



## L.A.

and pulled out


----------



## sustainabilly

his pince nez.


----------



## Jim-mi

and jock strap


----------



## L.A.

when this miracle


----------



## SimplerTimez

strap snapped, all


----------



## Jim-mi

abominable snowman appeared


----------



## SimplerTimez

sporting Mossy Oak


----------



## Jim-mi

bloomers of course


----------



## SimplerTimez

. But of course!


----------



## L.A.

Even the blind


----------



## SimplerTimez

pig finds an


----------



## L.A.

-other in heat


----------



## SimplerTimez

(LOL!)

Twist on theme,


----------



## bajiay

the fire was


----------



## SimplerTimez

roaring and blazing,


----------



## catspjamas

chestnuts were roasting


----------



## kentuckyhippie

dogs were howling


----------



## Jim-mi

toilets were plugged


----------



## catspjamas

a typical date


----------



## Jim-mi

Not tonight sweetie


----------



## catspjamas

have a headache?


----------



## Jim-mi

something else aches


----------



## SimplerTimez

; knees, back, elbows?


----------



## bajiay

headaches are cured


----------



## Jim-mi

otheraches are Not


----------



## Jaclynne

. Such sad news


----------



## SimplerTimez

; truly dispiriting news


----------



## Jim-mi

cold shower perhaps . . ???


----------



## SimplerTimez

Stand in snow?


----------



## L.A.

Write your name


----------



## Jim-mi

include middle name


----------



## L.A.

and in shorthand


----------



## Jim-mi

First..... bend over


----------



## roadless

touch curled toes


----------



## sustainabilly

Crap! My contact


----------



## SimplerTimez

...icy stare anyone?


----------



## Jim-mi

uncontrolled shivering happens


----------



## kentuckyhippie

shaking breaking icicles


----------



## Jim-mi

numbness in brain


----------



## kentuckyhippie

and other parts


----------



## Jim-mi

relief . . . . .!!!!! . . .BIG fart


----------



## sustainabilly

Oy! Not again...


----------



## Jim-mi

butt of course


----------



## SimplerTimez

immaturity stalks Singletree


----------



## Jim-mi

with insidious vulgarity


----------



## Jaclynne

and childish glee!


----------



## bajiay

Look behind you...


----------



## Jim-mi

well . . . Hi Maxine . .


----------



## SimplerTimez

-Don't bend over!


----------



## L.A.

Just tilt alittle


----------



## sustainabilly

lean on me,


----------



## Twp.Tom

Load the hod


----------



## Jim-mi

with cow pies


----------



## SimplerTimez

, or cedar shavings


----------



## Jim-mi

mature road apples


----------



## farmerj

Dead of night


----------



## kentuckyhippie

to neighbors porch


----------



## Jim-mi

laughing fanny off


----------



## kentuckyhippie

holding nose tightly


----------



## Jim-mi

gas attack eminent


----------



## SimplerTimez

gastric disaster redux?


----------



## kentuckyhippie

yep air polution


----------



## Jim-mi

the worst kind


----------



## kentuckyhippie

neighborhood dogs fainted


----------



## Jim-mi

zombies are esthetic


----------



## kentuckyhippie

skunks grew lovesick


----------



## L.A.

I remember her


----------



## Jim-mi

constant gastric episode


----------



## kentuckyhippie

blown out bloomers


----------



## Jim-mi

cuddling . . . not recommended


----------



## SimplerTimez

Depends for ALL!


----------



## bajiay

Stockpiling depends is...


----------



## SimplerTimez

always interesting, yes?


----------



## L.A.

Supply & demand


----------



## Jim-mi

"interesting" . ????. . . .that depends


----------



## SimplerTimez

Meanwhile, Edgar was


----------



## Jim-mi

eating moldy pizza


----------



## CajunSunshine

with a tri-barrel



.


----------



## CajunSunshine

12 guage shotgun



.


----------



## CajunSunshine

*on his mind*


----------



## SimplerTimez

Edgar has mutated!


----------



## Hossplay

R. I. P


----------



## SimplerTimez

Ruby was disconsolate,


----------



## Jim-mi

and very loquacious


----------



## SimplerTimez

and perhaps verbose


----------



## Jim-mi

toward the establishment


----------



## kentuckyhippie

of a brothal


----------



## Jim-mi

with bed bugs


----------



## SimplerTimez

Where's Orkin Man?!?


----------



## Jim-mi

scratching his tush


----------



## SimplerTimez

due to bedbugs?


----------



## kentuckyhippie

and camel fleas


----------



## Jim-mi

served on ryebread


----------



## bajiay

with cream cheese


----------



## sustainabilly

My Christmas Specialty!


----------



## Jim-mi

gastric distress personified


----------



## SimplerTimez

, lead to agony


----------



## Twp.Tom

Makes you Stronger*


----------



## SimplerTimez

. Meanwhile, Edgar searched


----------



## Twp.Tom

The Bell Tolled


----------



## SimplerTimez

, and Ruby fainted.


----------



## Twp.Tom

Get some water


----------



## SimplerTimez

, wipe her brow


----------



## Twp.Tom

Is she Alright?


----------



## Jim-mi

when passing gas?


----------



## Twp.Tom

Better fill -up


----------



## Jaclynne

on ginger ale


----------



## SimplerTimez

and soda crackers.


----------



## Jim-mi

dipped in mustard


----------



## Jaclynne

and canned sardines


----------



## L.A.

& Smoked Oysters


----------



## Jim-mi

chocolate covered grasshoppers


----------



## Jaclynne

sharp cheddar cheese


----------



## Jaclynne

its a picnic!


----------



## L.A.

Under the tree


----------



## Jaclynne

with elves serving


----------



## SimplerTimez

chilled spiked eggnog,


----------



## Jim-mi

Otis hates drunks


----------



## SimplerTimez

- who is drunk?


----------



## Twp.Tom

Just a little


----------



## Jaclynne

advice from the


----------



## Jim-mi

master head geek


----------



## Jaclynne

no drinking while


----------



## SimplerTimez

- Shrek is here???


----------



## Jaclynne

No, while wrapping


----------



## Twp.Tom

Broke the rules


----------



## Twp.Tom

Beer is good


----------



## Twp.Tom

People are crazy


----------



## Jaclynne

Broke what rules?


----------



## Twp.Tom

drinking WHILE sHREK IS HERE?


----------



## Twp.Tom

Lots more mistakes


----------



## Twp.Tom

Quit while ahead


----------



## Jim-mi

Zombies like you


----------



## SimplerTimez

, vampires adore you


----------



## Jim-mi

wonderful puppy love


----------



## SimplerTimez

can be ruff.


----------



## Jaclynne

I feel ashamed.....


----------



## Jaclynne

or maybe confused......


----------



## bajiay

Too much eggnog!!


----------



## SimplerTimez

And a new


----------



## bajiay

pair of undies....


----------



## Jaclynne

can twist things


----------



## bajiay

in awkward positions!!


----------



## Twp.Tom

May hurt spine


----------



## Jim-mi

keep nipples warm


----------



## Jaclynne

unwrap another undergarment!


----------



## SimplerTimez

Otis and Sito,


----------



## bajiay

share same pair


----------



## Jim-mi

knawed on jerkey


----------



## SimplerTimez

, deprived of turkey.


----------



## Twp.Tom

Well Fed, Full


----------



## bajiay

belly hanging over


----------



## Twp.Tom

sign of prosperity


----------



## bajiay

too much beer


----------



## Twp.Tom

not to night


----------



## bajiay

too much eggnog!


----------



## Twp.Tom

sweet is good


----------



## bajiay

sassy is better!


----------



## Twp.Tom

Leo is good


----------



## bajiay

That I am!


----------



## Twp.Tom

So Am I


----------



## Jim-mi

and I too


----------



## bajiay

Watch out then


----------



## Twp.Tom

Girls do rule


----------



## bajiay

You got it!!


----------



## Twp.Tom

I had it!


----------



## Jim-mi

Really . . !!! . . . had what . .??


----------



## bajiay

He's just wishing!


----------



## Jim-mi

big pipe dream


----------



## bajiay

but little pipe


----------



## Jim-mi

he can pretend


----------



## Twp.Tom

I'm For real!


----------



## Jim-mi

please provide references . . . . . . .


----------



## Twp.Tom

What is needed?


----------



## bajiay

Your hair color...


----------



## Twp.Tom

Blonde/Brown Fleckes of Platinum lol Your skin Olive,or dark?


----------



## bajiay

Olive...

Eye color?


----------



## Twp.Tom

True Blue Tall/short?


----------



## bajiay

5'7" What's that?

hopeless romantic or boring?


----------



## Twp.Tom

Very Romantic Tongue tied sometimes.. Fancy or simple?


----------



## bajiay

Simple...

Roses or wildflowers?


----------



## Twp.Tom

Roses everywhere! Single or Bouquet?


----------



## bajiay

single...

jeans or tux?


----------



## Twp.Tom

Jeans Kittens or Puppies?


----------



## bajiay

Oh! They're both cute!! 

Do you have horses?


----------



## Twp.Tom

No Sorry Got Goat! Chickens or turkeys?


----------



## bajiay

chickens! You can eat them and get eggs!

Big dog or yappy one?


----------



## Twp.Tom

12 of them all yappy, Pets of your own?


----------



## bajiay

12 DOGS?!?! Holy cow! Do you eat? 

a dog and a cat

Inside or outside?


----------



## Twp.Tom

Only 8 inside 3 boys in detached garage(heated) LGD in barn with chickens/turkeys . Pets of your own?


----------



## bajiay

You are getting old aren't ya'? ha ha!
A DOG and a CAT

Glasses or hearing aides?


----------



## Twp.Tom

Sorry My mind-I get ahead of myself> neither glasses to read--- muscles or not


----------



## bajiay

some...not a lot...

movie or walk?


----------



## Twp.Tom

I need to walk/work on my muscles-too much inactivity this last year. suspense or love story?


----------



## bajiay

Suspenseful love story!!

What are you passionate about?


----------



## Twp.Tom

Living My life* Whats your dream?


----------



## bajiay

To make a difference in someone else's life...to know I've done something good here..

Grandkids around or not?


----------



## Twp.Tom

I don't have any-only one son (21) no GKs You are a Mom*-you have already contributed *Made a difference. Where you Going To?


----------



## bajiay

Heaven...I hope! 

Leave a woman stranded on the side of the road or help her?


----------



## Twp.Tom

Save the day(heroe) seriously Feats of Heroism?


----------



## bajiay

doesn't take much to be my hero...

Dogs in the bed or not?


----------



## Twp.Tom

Lol Easy to please? Only 5 girl dogs-all jealous-growling at each other* I Love em' strict or lenient?


----------



## bajiay

Be a real man, treat me like a lady, be true, and you're my hero... 

A happy medium Chores, rules, have to save money, then they could do what they wanted within reason


----------



## Twp.Tom

That's very nice* Flowers or vegetables?


----------



## bajiay

Veggies!!!

I forgot the question!! HA!

Fave veggie?
Fave flower?


----------



## Twp.Tom

Grow vegggies or grow flowers?


----------



## Twp.Tom

Only grew flowers and herbs/garlic this year. Always planted veggies for my Late wife. I live in Amish country-veggies are free for me-I have some good friends*


----------



## Twp.Tom

Sunflowers or Pumpkins?


----------



## bajiay

depends on the yard...mostly veggies

favorite meat?


----------



## bajiay

I have to choose?

Favorite tater?


----------



## Twp.Tom

steak on grill medium-well spring or summer?


----------



## Twp.Tom

You don't have to choose Lol* What would you rather grow?


----------



## Twp.Tom

French Fried Favorite sport?


----------



## Twp.Tom

Favorite avatar?


----------



## bajiay

sunflowers...

spring!!

Fall or winter?


----------



## Twp.Tom

Fall, Playing in leaves,or snow?


----------



## bajiay

sport? figure skating!! HAHA!! kidding!


Fave Avatar? I don't know...yours doesn't have a pic!!


----------



## bajiay

snow...cuz then you have to warm up!

snow cones...or bomb pops?


----------



## Twp.Tom

I'm Not*-very good figure skater myself?


----------



## Twp.Tom

I am going to get a good pic,and an avatar-so I can display myself properly*lol


----------



## bajiay

HA! I played softball...

pink or red?


----------



## Twp.Tom

Bomb Pop-off the ice cream truck of course*.Running down my face,melting all over my fingers mmmmmm


----------



## Twp.Tom

Cool, Fastpitch?


----------



## Twp.Tom

Everything is red here . Tomboy, or girly-girl?


----------



## bajiay

no...I hit well though

Red is my fave color...

in between

beard or clean shaven?


----------



## Twp.Tom

Beard for now shaving soon. Hairs growing fast too* Can you skate?


----------



## bajiay

Roller skate...not ice skate...my butt skates well though across the ice!

Short hair or long?


----------



## Twp.Tom

Its getting long- Usually cut in warm weather*If you can roller, you can ice-I would hold your hand?


----------



## bajiay

You would be on your butt too then! 

Mine is longer than my pic...that was about 7 mo ago. It's half way down my back now.

motel or camping?


----------



## Twp.Tom

Camping in the nice weather,Motel in the not so nice* Go fast or slow?


----------



## bajiay

slow...unless I'm driving! Dad was a race car driver! Watch out! 

Bath or shower?


----------



## Twp.Tom

Shower* Dream of Goodtimes?


----------



## bajiay

two little boys that I feel are mine...yet I don't have any boys...sweet dream though.

Yours? good night!


----------



## vicker

Roscoe's head ached.


----------



## CajunSunshine

lol, I see two lil' birds singing in the wrong tree. They thought they were sitting in this one: http://www.homesteadingtoday.com/co...5-interview-person-below-you-round-2-a-8.html

:spinsmiley:
.


----------



## Jim-mi

feet were frozen


----------



## Jaclynne

awaiting interview's end


----------



## L.A.

suddenly nature call


----------



## bajiay

ha ha oops!


----------



## Jaclynne

no harm done


----------



## L.A.

wearing black pants


----------



## bajiay

and no shoes


----------



## Jim-mi

rabbit fur hat


----------



## Twp.Tom

Keep you warm.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Edgar, quite disgruntled


----------



## Twp.Tom

Who is Edgar?


----------



## SimplerTimez

Edgar the mole,


----------



## SimplerTimez

hairless he was (see wayyyyyyyyyyyy back in the story line)


----------



## vicker

with a furry


----------



## SimplerTimez

set of new


----------



## Jaclynne

pink ear muffs


----------



## Jim-mi

bright pink bloomers . ??


----------



## bajiay

No union suit?


----------



## Jim-mi

not befitting Edgar


----------



## Jim-mi

Edgar is upper-class


----------



## bajiay

nose in air


----------



## L.A.

Lips on butt


----------



## roadless

tastes like chicken


----------



## L.A.

Over cooked again


----------



## Jim-mi

slathered with garlic


----------



## bajiay

and some onion


----------



## L.A.

,peanutbutter, pickles mixed


----------



## Jim-mi

horseradish over easy


----------



## Fowler

spread-on twin strippers


----------



## Jim-mi

with fermented oysters


----------



## D Lynn

and chunky bits


----------



## Jim-mi

of Katydid droppings


----------



## Jaclynne

disgusting fair indeed!


----------



## SimplerTimez

After stomach pumping,


----------



## Twp.Tom

Feel better now.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Edgar is rummaging


----------



## Twp.Tom

Why would he?


----------



## SimplerTimez

Hunting for tools?


----------



## Twp.Tom

Time to Construct?


----------



## Jim-mi

new out house....


----------



## Jaclynne

hill-perched with view


----------



## L.A.

Of nudist camp


----------



## Twp.Tom

Much too modest!


----------



## L.A.

warm fuzzy telescope


----------



## Twp.Tom

Can I watch?


----------



## Jim-mi

nothing to see


----------



## Jim-mi

now move along


----------



## SimplerTimez

little doggies, stop


----------



## Twp.Tom

peeing on floor


----------



## SimplerTimez

! Where's that newspaper??


----------



## Twp.Tom

Gonna get it!


----------



## SimplerTimez

Ruby slipped and


----------



## Twp.Tom

Bumped his head


----------



## Jaclynne

She's had sex-change?


----------



## L.A.

To what we


----------



## Twp.Tom

Cannot find words?


----------



## bajiay

You're really speechless?!?


----------



## Fowler

seeing LA nude


----------



## L.A.

it's only words


----------



## bajiay

boots and hat


----------



## SimplerTimez

Lasso and saddle,


----------



## Jim-mi

union suit zippers


----------



## bajiay

back butt buttons


----------



## Jim-mi

button up kiddo


----------



## L.A.

feel a breeze


----------



## SimplerTimez

cover those knees!!!


----------



## L.A.

The bees knees


----------



## Jaclynne

meant to please.....


----------



## SimplerTimez

or maybe tease!


----------



## Jaclynne

I think tease.....


----------



## L.A.

Please, please me


----------



## Jim-mi

tease me not


----------



## L.A.

on the wings


----------



## SimplerTimez

of the bees!


----------



## L.A.

are tiny little


----------



## vicker

GE minie guns


----------



## Jim-mi

shooting love nectar


----------



## SimplerTimez

upon soft earth


----------



## L.A.

a light mist


----------



## roadless

soothing on skin


----------



## L.A.

Burning on lips


----------



## SimplerTimez

(offers some chapstick)


----------



## L.A.

to be applied


----------



## roadless

with gentle expertise


----------



## L.A.

Just below the


----------



## Jim-mi

mason dixon line


----------



## Jaclynne

Ruby opens atlas.....


----------



## Twp.Tom

Picks a Destination*


----------



## Jaclynne

below the Mason-Dixon


----------



## Jim-mi

must be Moscow


----------



## Twp.Tom

Pour some Vodka!


----------



## kentuckyhippie

celebrate new year


----------



## SimplerTimez

, welcome each day


----------



## Twp.Tom

Smile on face!


----------



## Jim-mi

prunes on fork


----------



## L.A.

Butter on finger


----------



## Twp.Tom

finger in pie


----------



## Fowler

Look no hands...!!!


----------



## L.A.

Thumb in your


----------



## SimplerTimez

Edgar reached for


----------



## L.A.

but couldn't grasp


----------



## SimplerTimez

Ruby's tender heart;


----------



## Twp.Tom

A Beautiful thing*


----------



## SimplerTimez

He serenaded her,


----------



## Twp.Tom

She was overwhelmed;


----------



## Jim-mi

she squeaked backwards


----------



## Twp.Tom

and then collapsed


----------



## Jaclynne

in heaving sighs...


----------



## kentuckyhippie

and quivering thighs


----------



## roadless

under moonlit skies


----------



## L.A.

She suddenly realized,


----------



## Jaclynne

there's no disguise


----------



## Twp.Tom

for your feelings;


----------



## Jaclynne

deep breath.....again....


----------



## Twp.Tom

He didn't understand?


----------



## roadless

communication is tricky


----------



## Twp.Tom

a big misunderstanding?


----------



## Jaclynne

we fool ourselves


----------



## Twp.Tom

in to thinking?


----------



## roadless

that life is


----------



## Jaclynne

dream or nightmare


----------



## Twp.Tom

IT's very sad;


----------



## Jaclynne

but sometimes sweet


----------



## roadless

depends on perspective


----------



## Twp.Tom

What to do?;


----------



## roadless

Play in the (oops)


----------



## Jaclynne

game of life


----------



## Twp.Tom

don't like games!


----------



## roadless

Spin the bottle?


----------



## Jaclynne

you can't escape


----------



## roadless

life's lessons, so


----------



## Twp.Tom

Lets Ride-On!


----------



## Fowler

As free spirits


----------



## Jim-mi

on the wing


----------



## Twp.Tom

And a Prayer*


----------



## L.A.

heart heavy with


----------



## Jim-mi

bad diet plaque


----------



## Twp.Tom

won't stop me;


----------



## SimplerTimez

life, love and


----------



## Twp.Tom

Pursuit of happiness


----------



## Jaclynne

try some Rolaids.....


----------



## Twp.Tom

FOR tummy ACHE


----------



## L.A.

and Spanish fly


----------



## vicker

repellant, or some


----------



## Jim-mi

pepto-bismo love potion


----------



## Twp.Tom

little blue pills


----------



## vicker

French fly swatter?


----------



## Jaclynne

I'll need google....


----------



## SimplerTimez

mais oui, ami


----------



## bajiay

Whadda Whadda HUH?


----------



## Jim-mi

hubba hubba hubba


----------



## roadless

yabba dabba do


----------



## Twp.Tom

Yes my Friend*


----------



## Jim-mi

which all proves?????????????????


----------



## kentuckyhippie

nothing at all


----------



## Twp.Tom

Like Little Babies*


----------



## Jaclynne

we're all innocent......


----------



## Jim-mi

I never inhaled.......


----------



## Jaclynne

Maybe not innocent.....


----------



## bajiay

Yes i am!!!


----------



## L.A.

not for long


----------



## SimplerTimez

, he chuckled evilly.


----------



## Twp.Tom

As he walked


----------



## SimplerTimez

towards gullible Ruby


----------



## Twp.Tom

Gave her kisses


----------



## kentuckyhippie

until she farted


----------



## SimplerTimez

in Doingitmyself's waders


----------



## Twp.Tom

By the river


----------



## Jim-mi

the waders disintegrated


----------



## SimplerTimez

gumming up the


----------



## Jim-mi

new coffee pot


----------



## Jaclynne

there goes sobriety....


----------



## Jim-mi

down the crapper


----------



## Twp.Tom

Get the plunger;


----------



## L.A.

evenly leveled around


----------



## kentuckyhippie

shared by all


----------



## L.A.

Now she can't


----------



## SimplerTimez

join heartthrob Edgar


----------



## L.A.

Who by now


----------



## SimplerTimez

was feeling insecure;


----------



## Jim-mi

has loose bowels


----------



## Jaclynne

Any immodium left?


----------



## SimplerTimez

Tying Jim-mi's hands,


----------



## Jim-mi

don't you wish


----------



## L.A.

Tightly to his


----------



## sustainabilly

firmly clenched...jaws


----------



## Jim-mi

whips and chains??????


----------



## Jaclynne

he asked excitedly...


----------



## Jim-mi

please Ruby please


----------



## SimplerTimez

- Otis rushed in.


----------



## Jaclynne

His brow furrowed


----------



## bajiay

and lips puckered...


----------



## L.A.

A slight whistle


----------



## Jaclynne

escaped his lips...


----------



## L.A.

with a mist


----------



## Jaclynne

that watered eyes..


----------



## L.A.

melted her butter


----------



## Jim-mi

and jelly sam-witch


----------



## bajiay

and it fell...


----------



## sustainabilly

all over Ruby's


----------



## vicker

wispy thin mustache.


----------



## bajiay

Her tongue licked


----------



## Jaclynne

the mist away


----------



## Jim-mi

from his open


----------



## sustainabilly

,innocent, hopeful expression


----------



## L.A.

of a long


----------



## Jim-mi

awaited need for


----------



## Jaclynne

a tropical vacation


----------



## L.A.

In southeast Wyoming


----------



## kentuckyhippie

western nudist camp


----------



## Jaclynne

a chilly thought...lol


----------



## L.A.

warming up inside


----------



## Jaclynne

what a thought...


----------



## L.A.

,When thought through


----------



## Jaclynne

brings a smile


----------



## L.A.

and a tingle


----------



## Jim-mi

lots of goose-bumps


----------



## Jaclynne

to Ruby's sweet


----------



## L.A.

shapely little tush


----------



## Jaclynne

( I want you to know I had to bite my fingers here......)

Oscar's frown changed


----------



## Twp.Tom

To complete Jubilation!


----------



## Jaclynne

But Edgar wasn't


----------



## Twp.Tom

In Good spirits;


----------



## Jaclynne

he watched Oscar


----------



## Twp.Tom

Scratch his chin;


----------



## Jaclynne

then moved closer


----------



## Twp.Tom

Began to tremble;


----------



## Jim-mi

not tonight dear


----------



## SimplerTimez

Edgar started crying.


----------



## Inthegrove

Eat more nachos


----------



## Jim-mi

Ruby just laughed


----------



## kentuckyhippie

and danced around


----------



## Twp.Tom

Doing a jig;


----------



## L.A.

But one small


----------



## Twp.Tom

Moment changed things;


----------



## Inthegrove

Head's were turning


----------



## vicker

round and round,


----------



## Jim-mi

the merry go-round


----------



## Raeven

of human frailty


----------



## vicker

suddenly halted, slinging


----------



## Raeven

Ruby into abrupt


----------



## vicker

lopsided tail spin.


----------



## Raeven

Biting her finger,


----------



## Jim-mi

hitting her tush


----------



## Jaclynne

and feeling muddled


----------



## Raeven

, Ruby wondered what


----------



## sustainabilly

Oscar really meant.


----------



## Jaclynne

Should she ask?


----------



## Inthegrove

Why not? Then


----------



## Nonnie522

The back side


----------



## L.A.

'ed Answer bellowed


----------



## Nonnie522

"Don't go there"


----------



## L.A.

It's over here


----------



## Jaclynne

, open your eyes!


----------



## vicker

you dim witted


----------



## Jim-mi

nim-com-poop


----------



## Twp.Tom

Fairies wear boots!


----------



## Jim-mi

why yes. . . pink


----------



## Jaclynne

with yellow bunnies


----------



## sustainabilly

who live in


----------



## roadless

van by river


----------



## sustainabilly

lit by fireflies


----------



## Twp.Tom

I want one*


----------



## sustainabilly

It's roadless' van...


----------



## sustainabilly

probably pink too


----------



## Jaclynne

with butterfly-yellow upholstery


----------



## sustainabilly

Ruby's love nest


----------



## Jim-mi

it is not !!!


----------



## Twp.Tom

Her first Rodeo*


----------



## sustainabilly

Oscar's man cave?


----------



## Twp.Tom

To Please Women*


----------



## Jim-mi

only on friday


----------



## Twp.Tom

Ruby is welcome?


----------



## vicker

Sure, any day.


----------



## Twp.Tom

Ruby is Fine*


----------



## vicker

from the rear.


----------



## Inthegrove

To many taillights


----------



## Jim-mi

butt they work


----------



## roadless

with full moon


----------



## Jim-mi

and low tide


----------



## L.A.

In wanders a


----------



## vicker

bandy legged cowpoke


----------



## Twp.Tom

Ready to slam!


----------



## Inthegrove

Red bull and


----------



## L.A.

Sitting Cloud, just


----------



## Inthegrove

to make Ruby


----------



## kentuckyhippie

forget all others


----------



## Jim-mi

Otis takes offense.......


----------



## Twp.Tom

He Flails about!


----------



## Nonnie522

Bumping into van


----------



## Inthegrove

with His prosthetic


----------



## SimplerTimez

hairpiece and knit


----------



## sustainabilly

brass ear horn


----------



## Inthegrove

Ruby turns around


----------



## SimplerTimez

, Edgar gets nervous


----------



## vicker

every time he


----------



## Jim-mi

his tummy rumbles


----------



## Inthegrove

She asks why


----------



## vicker

,why, why, why


----------



## roadless

but the answer,


----------



## L.A.

lies deep within


----------



## sustainabilly

her chicken soup.


----------



## Inthegrove

With floating croutons


----------



## Jim-mi

and mustard seeds


----------



## roadless

alphabet soup spelled,


----------



## Inthegrove

I miss Oscar


----------



## L.A.

as did Mayer


----------



## sustainabilly

, Ruby was inconsolable,


----------



## Inthegrove

And needing direction


----------



## Jim-mi

but almost brazen


----------



## SimplerTimez

, yet well hidden


----------



## Jim-mi

in orange marmalade


----------



## SimplerTimez

surrounded by biscuits.


----------



## Jim-mi

Otis hates biscuits


----------



## bajiay

but loves butter.


----------



## L.A.

melting, dripping down


----------



## Inthegrove

Over his pancakes


----------



## L.A.

Ruby, being Tuesday,


----------



## SimplerTimez

called to Sito (Otis' twin brother, for those new to this old thread)


----------



## Twp.Tom

Come Help Please!


----------



## sustainabilly

Otis is licking


----------



## Jim-mi

up rotten syrup


----------



## sustainabilly

right off my


----------



## Jim-mi

bleep bleep bleep


----------



## Jaclynne

It smelled bad,


----------



## roadless

and tasted worse


----------



## Jaclynne

but still, he


----------



## sustainabilly

but looked yummy!


----------



## Twp.Tom

Could Ruby Forgive?


----------



## Raeven

Gun was quicker.


----------



## bajiay

Maybe...if Otis


----------



## SimplerTimez

had a BIG


----------



## SimplerTimez

Tractor...stop drooling


----------



## sustainabilly

he wouldn't need


----------



## L.A.

an Oscar Mayer


----------



## SimplerTimez

flyer, giving directions


----------



## sustainabilly

to make Ruby


----------



## SimplerTimez

utilize all of


----------



## sustainabilly

her feminine wiles.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Flummoxed, Otis looked


----------



## vicker

Sheepishly at the


----------



## SimplerTimez

tops of his


----------



## vicker

Antique shepherd 's hook


----------



## SimplerTimez

; hoping to hook


----------



## vicker

a rusty hoe.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Tetanus shot required


----------



## sustainabilly

Ruby greased up


----------



## SimplerTimez

her biscuit pan


----------



## vicker

for hoe cakes,


----------



## sustainabilly

Otis fought Sito


----------



## SimplerTimez

difficult as twins,


----------



## sustainabilly

for Ruby's......cakes


----------



## SimplerTimez

Hoe cakes maybe?


----------



## sustainabilly

mmm... could be


----------



## SimplerTimez

Meanwhile, back at


----------



## vicker

the tool shed


----------



## SimplerTimez

, shovels were dismayed


----------



## Jaclynne

and wrenches disarrayed


----------



## SimplerTimez

-not wenches disarrayed...


----------



## vicker

ropes hung limply


----------



## SimplerTimez

, knot confused, but


----------



## vicker

rightly coiled in


----------



## SimplerTimez

perfect symmetry, and


----------



## vicker

metaphorical twists and


----------



## SimplerTimez

lucid dreaming too!


----------



## vicker

"Rope me in",


----------



## Jim-mi

"Tie me down"


----------



## Raeven

"Make me howl!"


----------



## Jim-mi

would like too


----------



## Raeven

Otis grinned lasciviously,


----------



## L.A.

two raps,,hooey


----------



## Jim-mi

Ruby smirked at


----------



## Inthegrove

The way he


----------



## Jim-mi

sucked down sardines


----------



## SimplerTimez

slathered in Tabasco


----------



## Jim-mi

Ruby again farted


----------



## SimplerTimez

(throws up hands)

right on Jim-mi


----------



## SimplerTimez

- a heavenly match.


----------



## Inthegrove

It smells funky


----------



## kentuckyhippie

worse than sardines


----------



## Jim-mi

Otis keeled over


----------



## Twp.Tom

went to sleep


----------



## vicker

his smegma undisturbed.


----------



## roadless

Otis awoke to


----------



## sustainabilly

...He said smegma ound:ound:


----------



## sustainabilly

lingering fishy smells


----------



## D Lynn

. Suddenly Sito appears!


----------



## sustainabilly

in retro drag


----------



## Jim-mi

still in red-bloomers


----------



## Twp.Tom

Greeting The Day!


----------



## Jim-mi

with prune juice


----------



## Twp.Tom

Full,no more!


----------



## SimplerTimez

Ruby fried eggs


----------



## Raeven

, side of ham,


----------



## Tommyice

--that's Taylor ham.


----------



## Raeven

Ruby fervently hoped


----------



## Jim-mi

Otis constantly burps


----------



## vicker

Dish ran away


----------



## Raeven

with Mr. Spoon.


----------



## vicker

High diddle diddle!


----------



## Raeven

Cat and the


----------



## vicker

fiddle played a


----------



## SimplerTimez

soulful tune while


----------



## Raeven

tapping his toes


----------



## vicker

, the cow excitedly


----------



## Raeven

set off for


----------



## SimplerTimez

<edit grumble edit>


----------



## SimplerTimez

the Appalachian foothills


----------



## vicker

, the Alleghenies Mountains,


----------



## Raeven

Somewhere mountainous, anyway.


----------



## SimplerTimez

(cow travels fast!)


----------



## Raeven

(Cows always do.)


----------



## SimplerTimez

Unless moooooving to


----------



## Raeven

the Cow Palace


----------



## vicker

or slow blues


----------



## Raeven

, hoof to hoof,


----------



## vicker

and cud ling


----------



## Raeven

in an udder


----------



## vicker

refusal to stall


----------



## Raeven

a mooooment longer.


----------



## SimplerTimez

<sigh>
Roped in by


----------



## Raeven

a saucy heifer,


----------



## vicker

pastoral, rangy love


----------



## Raeven

, a kinky rodeo.


----------



## SimplerTimez

- a hoofsome beauty


----------



## Raeven

, she enticingly flashed


----------



## SimplerTimez

her multiple stomachs.


----------



## vicker

A flat rock,


----------



## Raeven

... forbidden bovine luuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrvvvvvve.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Sito ran quickly


----------



## vicker

hitting the hay


----------



## SimplerTimez

, kinda like me


----------



## Raeven

(We'll miss you!)


----------



## SimplerTimez

I'll be baaaack.


----------



## vicker

The cows hit the hay!! I'm pulling am all nighter. Well, hopefully not an ALL nighter.


----------



## vicker

in lustful anticipation


----------



## Raeven

of sweet feed


----------



## vicker

And culled cabbages


----------



## Raeven

, tongues lolling lazily


----------



## SimplerTimez

-dreaming of alfalfa.


----------



## Twp.Tom

in a hayloft


----------



## vicker

in Sunny Dale


----------



## Jim-mi

Ruby juiced alfalfa


----------



## vicker

who in turn


----------



## Raeven

juiced apples, although


----------



## vicker

Spanky was already


----------



## SimplerTimez

juiced, blanketed and


----------



## Raeven

tucked into bed.


----------



## vicker

WHOOPS!!! (blush)
Scooby giggled helplessly


----------



## Raeven

(Weren't we doing Our Gang? Alfalfa, Spanky, etc.??? Did I get crossed up?)


----------



## Raeven

(ROFL, ok, that was hilarious!!! LOLOLOL!!!! Where were we?)


----------



## vicker

Fowler was not involved, I swear!


----------



## Raeven

LOL, yeah, yeah, sure, sure.


----------



## Raeven

vicker said:


> Scooby giggled helplessly


as he picked


----------



## vicker

Alfalfa from his


----------



## Raeven

secret hiding place,


----------



## vicker

down by the


----------



## Jim-mi

darn coal bin


----------



## SimplerTimez

- dark and dusty


----------



## Twp.Tom

Let's get busy!


----------



## Jim-mi

shovel that coal


----------



## Raeven

... challenging, with hooves.


----------



## Jim-mi

but Otis perseveres


----------



## Jaclynne

coal dust flying,


----------



## Bret

breathing and coughing


----------



## Bret

Bret said:


> breathing and coughing


Always think that perfectly stupid is directed at me when this comes up again and again on the new posts.


----------



## Jim-mi

gobs of goo


----------



## Raeven

... silicocis took hold.


----------



## Jaclynne

His ragged breath


----------



## Raeven

brought tears to


----------



## Jaclynne

Ruby's eyes and


----------



## Raeven

in her heart,


----------



## Jim-mi

which was palpitating


----------



## sustainabilly

she wept forlornly


----------



## roadless

"snap outof it "


----------



## sustainabilly

You'll geta Spanky!


----------



## Jim-mi

Oooooo. . . . . .can't wait


----------



## vicker

, thought Ruby, stupidly.


----------



## Jim-mi

nothing . . . .all talk


----------



## roadless

...and no play,


----------



## foxfiredidit

so in haste


----------



## Raeven

she fled the


----------



## foxfiredidit

scene to find


----------



## Raeven

a puzzling mess


----------



## foxfiredidit

just outside the


----------



## Raeven

outskirts of Bozeman.


----------



## foxfiredidit

Bozeman she knew,


----------



## Raeven

infamous for its


----------



## foxfiredidit

old west sensibilites


----------



## Raeven

and mediocre hotdogs,


----------



## foxfiredidit

would provide a


----------



## Raeven

perfect springboard for


----------



## foxfiredidit

an establishment to


----------



## Raeven

drink oneself insensible.


----------



## foxfiredidit

Insensible drunks rarely


----------



## Raeven

open taverns, but


----------



## foxfiredidit

what the heck?


----------



## Raeven

Ruby needed money,


----------



## foxfiredidit

and a way


----------



## Jim-mi

back to Detroit


----------



## arcticow

to exact revenge!


----------



## Jim-mi

from Otis cousin


----------



## SimplerTimez

Woody, known for


----------



## Jim-mi

his kleptomania fantasy's


----------



## Raeven

, causing Ruby enormous


----------



## SimplerTimez

fear of prison.


----------



## sustainabilly

and bad press


----------



## arcticow

over their supposed


----------



## SimplerTimez

<edit grumble edit>

on camera pilfering


----------



## sustainabilly

snapping provocative photos


----------



## SimplerTimez

of LA, hotdogs


----------



## Twp.Tom

onions ,ketchup,mustard


----------



## SimplerTimez

;stealing away for


----------



## foxfiredidit

her desire to


----------



## Twp.Tom

a moment alone


----------



## SimplerTimez

away from cameras


----------



## Raeven

, needing her inhaler.


----------



## Jim-mi

but Homer intervened . . . .(Homer is Otis 7th cousin )


----------



## foxfiredidit

crushing it between


----------



## Raeven

his mighty thighs --


----------



## SimplerTimez

scaring the bejeesus


----------



## foxfiredidit

(yikes)

(I got nothing)


----------



## SimplerTimez

out of Fox


----------



## Raeven

(Work on it.)


----------



## foxfiredidit

who worked it


----------



## Raeven

between his teeth


----------



## SimplerTimez

<edit grumble edit>

a socket wrench,


----------



## foxfiredidit

pair of tinsnips


----------



## vicker

Tail between his


----------



## Raeven

legs, and tipping


----------



## vicker

his hat modestly


----------



## SimplerTimez

and cows valiantly,


----------



## vicker

contended for his


----------



## foxfiredidit

regard for a


----------



## SimplerTimez

known cow safety.


----------



## Raeven

Disregarding the FDA


----------



## foxfiredidit

Ruby was redfaced,


----------



## Twp.Tom

the day light


----------



## Raeven

showed her rosacea


----------



## SimplerTimez

, long nose hairs


----------



## Twp.Tom

it was lovely


----------



## foxfiredidit

her secret hiding


----------



## vicker

Clumps on her


----------



## SimplerTimez

lovely dowager's hump


----------



## Raeven

-- aging was cruel.


----------



## vicker

Cold wind lifted


----------



## SimplerTimez

her swirling skirts


----------



## vicker

goose bumps radiated


----------



## Twp.Tom

excited him greatly


----------



## foxfiredidit

and matched her


----------



## Raeven

delicate blue ankles


----------



## vicker

Making cracking, popping


----------



## SimplerTimez

, high tensile hose


----------



## Raeven

-- fashionista, she was!!


----------



## foxfiredidit

, albeit without inhaler


----------



## Raeven

(Inhalers are replaceable.)


----------



## SimplerTimez

, leaving her gasping


----------



## vicker

In a sexy


----------



## SimplerTimez

geriatric and mush-mouthed


----------



## foxfiredidit

frenzy, hoping to


----------



## Raeven

demolish his inhibitions


----------



## SimplerTimez

held from childhood


----------



## foxfiredidit

Homer said ..."now,


----------



## SimplerTimez

about that wheelchair,


----------



## foxfiredidit

where's the motor


----------



## SimplerTimez

?", Ruby asked crankily.


----------



## Raeven

"What, no key?"


----------



## L.A.

Key is within


----------



## Jim-mi

the inner sanctum


----------



## Raeven

," intoned Homer, sagely.


----------



## Jim-mi

Mockery is not


----------



## arcticow

a becoming action.


----------



## SimplerTimez

But now kerfuffling


----------



## Jim-mi

we will go


----------



## SimplerTimez

...where were we?


----------



## Raeven

Bozeman or Detroit?


----------



## SimplerTimez

Lapland, where the


----------



## Raeven

sun never sets


----------



## sustainabilly

on our intrepid


----------



## SimplerTimez

assortment of varying


----------



## Raeven

adventures or characters


----------



## sustainabilly

There're despicable villains,


----------



## Raeven

and other crap.


----------



## sustainabilly

Flatulent peanut gallery?


----------



## Raeven

Hall of Flame.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Dons flameproof undies


----------



## Raeven

Never a mistake!


----------



## Guest

Speaking in tongues


----------



## sustainabilly

...and distressed damsels...


----------



## Raeven

they headed for


----------



## sustainabilly

Detroit's east side


----------



## Guest

in an anagram


----------



## Guest

Again, man ran


----------



## Raeven

(LOL, too much thinking for a Friday night!!)

. Meanwhile, back in


----------



## sustainabilly

in confused agitation


----------



## SimplerTimez

knitting quietly, for


----------



## sustainabilly

one armed paper-hangers


----------



## SimplerTimez

coated in glue


----------



## Jim-mi

and white wash


----------



## arcticow

sanity fled screaming!!!


----------



## SimplerTimez

And arrived at


----------



## sustainabilly

Ruby's custom van


----------



## SimplerTimez

, decorated in tassels


----------



## sustainabilly

and secret codes


----------



## SimplerTimez

and hidden panels


----------



## sustainabilly

and discarded lovers.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Today is new


----------



## sustainabilly

...what! New what?


----------



## Jaclynne

A new direction...


----------



## sustainabilly

Are we lost?


----------



## SimplerTimez

I have GPS


----------



## SimplerTimez

aka as Bossy-Biotch-in-a-box


----------



## sustainabilly

All righty then...


----------



## SimplerTimez

GPS female voice


----------



## Jim-mi

from downtown Detroit


----------



## SimplerTimez

"Evacuate, evacuate" she


----------



## vicker

continuously whined authoritively.


----------



## Raeven

"Retreat to Duluth!"


----------



## arcticow

But nobody followed...


----------



## Jim-mi

Duluth is dandy . . ??????


----------



## SimplerTimez

But rather chilly


----------



## Raeven

... certainly no Detroit.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Ruby spied her


----------



## arcticow

chance for freedom,


----------



## Raeven

grabbed her chihuahua,


----------



## Jim-mi

and her burka


----------



## kentuckyhippie

ran full speed


----------



## Raeven

, eyes squeezed shut


----------



## vicker

One hand holding


----------



## Raeven

Baxter, the chihuahua,


----------



## vicker

while wildly gesticulating


----------



## Raeven

for a taxi.


----------



## vicker

Alas, taxis are


----------



## Raeven

scarce at 2:00 a.m.


----------



## vicker

on Tuesday night


----------



## Raeven

, Startrek convention pending.


----------



## vicker

Spying a Shwinn


----------



## Raeven

sporting a basket,


----------



## vicker

Ruby shoved Baxter


----------



## Raeven

in, and away


----------



## vicker

they did fly.


----------



## Raeven

Baxter shivered uncontrollably.


----------



## vicker

Ruby pedaled madly,


----------



## Jim-mi

his handcuffs hurt


----------



## vicker

his chafed ankles.


----------



## Raeven

Darkness was closing


----------



## Jim-mi

Ruby said no-more


----------



## vicker

as Ruby raced


----------



## Raeven

toward Indiana, puffing


----------



## Jim-mi

the ski slope


----------



## vicker

little wispy clouds


----------



## Raeven

of frizzy hair


----------



## vicker

her mustache glistening


----------



## Raeven

but still unruly...


----------



## Jim-mi

totally bad-hair day


----------



## Raeven

, bad moon rising.


----------



## vicker

Ominous clouds gathered


----------



## Raeven

Baxter howled mournfully.


----------



## vicker

Death was near,


----------



## Raeven

behind her, Ruby


----------



## Jim-mi

his testies hurt


----------



## vicker

cried defiantly, her


----------



## Raeven

resolve stiffened to


----------



## vicker

acceptance as Baxter


----------



## Raeven

dreamt of sweaters.


----------



## Jim-mi

filled with boobs


----------



## vicker

Death came swift,


----------



## Jim-mi

Homer stopped laughing


----------



## Raeven

little tongue lolling


----------



## vicker

Ruby's upper lip


----------



## Raeven

quivered, remembering happier


----------



## Jim-mi

Ruby again farted


----------



## vicker

times, she expired. :0


----------



## Raeven

Que sera, sera. (Cripes, FINALLY!!)


----------



## vicker

The Pocatello train


----------



## Raeven

lazed gently along,


----------



## vicker

Its dining car


----------



## Raeven

-- today's special, potatoes --


----------



## vicker

sign the lone


----------



## Raeven

reason Archibald traveled


----------



## vicker

alone with salt


----------



## sustainabilly

and his collection


----------



## SimplerTimez

of salt spoons


----------



## arcticow

inherited from Granny.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Archibald, hungry and


----------



## sustainabilly

suffering fluid retention


----------



## Jim-mi

ate twenty potatoes


----------



## arcticow

before being hospitalized


----------



## Jim-mi

for a appendectomy


----------



## Raeven

... excessive potato consumption


----------



## sustainabilly

without sour cream


----------



## Raeven

the likely culprit.


----------



## sustainabilly

The ER nurses


----------



## Raeven

surreptitiously ogled his


----------



## sustainabilly

well-endowed salt shaker


----------



## Raeven

. Archibald blushed, wishing


----------



## sustainabilly

his life away


----------



## vicker

Suddenly, sharp pain


----------



## sustainabilly

defibrillated his heart,


----------



## arcticow

, director yelled "Cut!",


----------



## vicker

Darn!, Archibald had


----------



## arcticow

rehearsed ALL week


----------



## sustainabilly

, researched his character,


----------



## Jaclynne

scanning DeNiro films


----------



## Raeven

"Oh, ***** feathers!"


----------



## Jim-mi

and Bugs Bunny


----------



## sustainabilly

, but Baxter got


----------



## Jaclynne

nervous on camera


----------



## SimplerTimez

; started twitching spastically


----------



## Raeven

, thus creating a


----------



## Jaclynne

drooling on Archibald's


----------



## SimplerTimez

Dickie's bib overalls


----------



## Raeven

. Archibald scowled, then


----------



## sustainabilly

. Archibald stuttered nervously


----------



## SimplerTimez

, his Tourette's evident


----------



## Raeven

... "Take 77, Roscoe?"


----------



## sustainabilly

Where's my frappe?!


----------



## SimplerTimez

The new barista


----------



## Raeven

at the hospital


----------



## Twp.Tom

Poured a latte


----------



## Jim-mi

and Jack Daniels


----------



## Twp.Tom

Became Quite Intoxicated


----------



## Jim-mi

motorcycle tipped over


----------



## SimplerTimez

, B.O.B contents flew


----------



## Jim-mi

Otis is mad


----------



## Laura Zone 5

so he decided


----------



## kentuckyhippie

to defect to


----------



## SimplerTimez

New Zealand maybe?


----------



## Jim-mi

no . . .east Detroit


----------



## SimplerTimez

Decay, decay, sad...


----------



## Raeven

Monterey looked better


----------



## vicker

from a distance


----------



## sustainabilly

, Otis watched swallows


----------



## SimplerTimez

-- European or African?


----------



## sustainabilly

Return to Capistrano, <sigh>


----------



## Jim-mi

beware . . .swallow poop


----------



## SimplerTimez

; slippery when wet!


----------



## Jim-mi

banana peel flip-flop


----------



## Fowler

ouch!! med-alert!


----------



## arcticow

scatter some sand!


----------



## SimplerTimez

Cover your tracks


----------



## Twp.Tom

Nothing to Fear;


----------



## Jim-mi

Homer is here


----------



## Twp.Tom

Penelope Pit stop


----------



## sustainabilly

and Sweet Polly


----------



## Raeven

heading to Albuquerque.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Along the way


----------



## sustainabilly

Penelope cried Hay-ulp!


----------



## Raeven

"I'm being accosted


----------



## sustainabilly

by the Hooded


----------



## Raeven

scary circus clown


----------



## sustainabilly

Bozo 'Stephen' King.


----------



## Raeven

His unicycle squeaked


----------



## sustainabilly

like nails on


----------



## Raeven

a rusted tin


----------



## SimplerTimez

coronet, found in


----------



## sustainabilly

school gym locker


----------



## Raeven

.... Penelope swallowed her


----------



## SimplerTimez

Raisinettes quite hastily


----------



## Raeven

, holding her breath


----------



## Twp.Tom

Only to vomit


----------



## sustainabilly

to stop hiccupping


----------



## SimplerTimez

. Archibald rushed in


----------



## sustainabilly

sugar in spoon...


----------



## Raeven

Penelope smiled gratefully.


----------



## sustainabilly

"Ahh doo deecclaire...


----------



## Raeven

... you is mah


----------



## sustainabilly

hee-roh, hunee chyle... (ahem)


----------



## SimplerTimez

Archibald shuffled foot-to-foot


----------



## sustainabilly

"Well...err...umm,


----------



## Raeven

I luvs ya,


----------



## sustainabilly

schweet haht, schay


----------



## Raeven

... come away wit'


----------



## SimplerTimez

me 'n Lillian


----------



## sustainabilly

me doll face.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Piano played softly


----------



## Raeven

... she heard voices


----------



## sustainabilly

whispering, demonic, insistent


----------



## Raeven

... the clown chortled.


----------



## Jim-mi

purple zombie mantras


----------



## vicker

In E minor.


----------



## Twp.Tom

with a Banjo


----------



## Laura Zone 5

resting on his


----------



## Twp.Tom

Lap of luxury


----------



## Laura Zone 5

with a silver


----------



## Twp.Tom

spoon in mouth


----------



## Laura Zone 5

and a twinkle


----------



## Twp.Tom

In her eye*


----------



## Laura Zone 5

something said to


----------



## Twp.Tom

be very joyful;


----------



## Laura Zone 5

squeeze every ounce


----------



## Twp.Tom

of excitement available;


----------



## sustainabilly

from wanton zombie


----------



## Twp.Tom

fearless in flight;


----------



## Jim-mi

flopping on water


----------



## Twp.Tom

Going down,down


----------



## Jim-mi

the ring-of fire (Johnny Cash)


----------



## SimplerTimez

I fell down


----------



## Jim-mi

Johnny forever sings


----------



## arcticow

"I Still Miss Someone"


----------



## Twp.Tom

Who's not there


----------



## sustainabilly

. Penelope held Archibald's


----------



## Raeven

Happy Meal as


----------



## Twp.Tom

He coughed again;


----------



## sustainabilly

jowls shaking mightily


----------



## Raeven

, nose hairs bristling,


----------



## sustainabilly

violent sneezing ensued.


----------



## Raeven

Penelope stepped back,


----------



## sustainabilly

and tripped over


----------



## kentuckyhippie

a dead goat


----------



## SimplerTimez

- "Hazelnut, that you?"


----------



## arcticow

"oh, she's gone!!!!!"


----------



## Raeven

Just a lookalike.


----------



## Jim-mi

with eye shadow


----------



## Laura Zone 5

as blue as


----------



## Raeven

a day-old bruise.


----------



## Twp.Tom

Paint your wagon;


----------



## Laura Zone 5

hitch it to


----------



## Twp.Tom

A sturdy team


----------



## Jim-mi

of pack rats


----------



## SimplerTimez

, running amok in


----------



## Raeven

Fargo, North Dakota


----------



## kentuckyhippie

headed due west


----------



## Raeven

for serious trouble.


----------



## Jim-mi

in downtown Chicago


----------



## sustainabilly

-long way around-


----------



## SimplerTimez

Lost their map?


----------



## Jim-mi

inverted maps are-more-better


----------



## Raeven

-- geography lessons needed.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Traveling companions galore


----------



## Raeven

, they hastened on


----------



## Jim-mi

to Route 66


----------



## Raeven

dreaming dreams of


----------



## kentuckyhippie

beer and pizza


----------



## Raeven

because... what else?


----------



## Twp.Tom

in mass quantities!


----------



## Raeven

Entering a tavern


----------



## Jim-mi

was a no-no


----------



## Raeven

only for teetotalers.


----------



## arcticow

and then the


----------



## arcticow

men from the


----------



## arcticow

asylum finally arrived...


----------



## Jim-mi

with whips - chains...


----------



## arcticow

I give up...


----------



## Raeven

arcticow said:


> asylum finally arrived...


Archibald hastily fled.


----------



## Jim-mi

on his tricycle


----------



## SimplerTimez

pedaling furiously, determinedly


----------



## Jim-mi

down the uphill


----------



## Twp.Tom

only to crash!


----------



## SimplerTimez

Nurse Nellie rushed


----------



## Twp.Tom

To give comfort*


----------



## SimplerTimez

; rummaging around in


----------



## Raeven

her unsanitary backpack


----------



## SimplerTimez

, muttering "I know


----------



## Raeven

this might hurt,


----------



## SimplerTimez

but trust me...


----------



## Raeven

" hiding her teeth,


----------



## kentuckyhippie

and her straitjacket


----------



## SimplerTimez

behind her back.


----------



## Twp.Tom

Looking so innocent;


----------



## arcticow

a black widow!!!


----------



## arcticow

Scary music plays...


----------



## vicker

kentuckyhippie said:


> and her straitjacket



Peaceful Easy Feeling


----------



## Twp.Tom

I'll fix You!


----------



## SimplerTimez

Calming the masses


----------



## Twp.Tom

She smokes one;


----------



## SimplerTimez

but doesn't share.


----------



## Jim-mi

I never inhaled


----------



## SimplerTimez

Exhaling slowly, Archibald


----------



## sustainabilly

got a rushshshsh~~~~


----------



## Jim-mi

only fuzzy eyeballs


----------



## kentuckyhippie

needed food immediately


----------



## Jim-mi

hot dogs alla-mud


----------



## SimplerTimez

Chili-Cheese fries anyone?


----------



## Raeven

Archibald remembered his


----------



## SimplerTimez

long-lost aunt


----------



## Raeven

, her famous recipe


----------



## SimplerTimez

resurrected by Ruby


----------



## Raeven

, for Curried Spiders.


----------



## sustainabilly

Followed by free


----------



## Raeven

Pepto-Bismol for everyone.


----------



## Jaclynne

Tasty, if slightly


----------



## sustainabilly

odd for a


----------



## Raeven

first class dish!


----------



## sustainabilly

For dessert there's


----------



## Jaclynne

an elaborate concoction


----------



## sustainabilly

starting with pickled


----------



## Jaclynne

herring in a


----------



## SimplerTimez

white cream sauce,


----------



## Jim-mi

chocolate covered grasshoppers


----------



## SimplerTimez

and quail eggs.


----------



## sustainabilly

Free range truffles,


----------



## Jaclynne

spiced with just


----------



## sustainabilly

a-smidgeon of a-smackeral


----------



## Jaclynne

tossed with skunkcabbage.


----------



## Raeven

sustainabilly said:


> Free range truffles,


(Didn't know they could!)

Everyone gasped when


----------



## Jaclynne

the meal was


----------



## sustainabilly

Ruby unveiled her


----------



## sustainabilly

Jaclynne said:


> the meal was


quickly, quietly, fumigated


----------



## Raeven

, then made garbage.


----------



## Jim-mi

which was then


----------



## sustainabilly

which was recycled

[much like Ruby, who we killed off on page 154 ;p]


----------



## Jaclynne

(But) Ruby loved it!


----------



## sustainabilly

Meanwhile, Archibald, Leopold,


----------



## Raeven

Colin and Burt


----------



## sustainabilly

traveled to Constantinople,


----------



## Raeven

(Istanbul, in today's


----------



## sustainabilly

non-fiction obsessed world (tongue)


----------



## Raeven

( (Point taken, apologies.)


----------



## sustainabilly

(none needed, no harm, no foul)


to confer with


----------



## Raeven

Tasmanian spies seeking


----------



## sustainabilly

illegal absinthe recipes.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Zombies gleefully guzzled


----------



## sustainabilly

the glowing green


----------



## SimplerTimez

ghastly substance against


----------



## sustainabilly

the prudent warnings


----------



## Raeven

alcoholic Tasmanian spies.


----------



## Jim-mi

loved zombie juice


----------



## kentuckyhippie

especially with pretzels


----------



## Jim-mi

in the nude


----------



## Twp.Tom

Icicles began to form


----------



## SimplerTimez

Archibald was chuffed


----------



## Jim-mi

Homer was ----ed-off


----------



## Raeven

A quarrel brewed.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Brunhilde rushed in


----------



## Raeven

, appendages flapping wildly,


----------



## Jim-mi

body-odor quiet apparent


----------



## SimplerTimez

. Colin, no slouch


----------



## Jim-mi

picked up RubyII


----------



## Raeven

, spiriting her off


----------



## SimplerTimez

to Absinthe Anonymous


----------



## Raeven

-- fruitless effort, that.


----------



## Jim-mi

not to-be wasted


----------



## Jaclynne

of reincarnated abstinance


----------



## sustainabilly

. Colin muttered platitudes


----------



## Jim-mi

about absolutely nothing


----------



## Raeven

while appearing learned


----------



## sustainabilly

with great profundity.


----------



## Jim-mi

a zealous pontificator


----------



## Raeven

, his wattles shook


----------



## Jaclynne

turkeyfying his face


----------



## Raeven

-- so attractive! Brunhilde


----------



## Jaclynne

, liking strong features,


----------



## Raeven

gazed longingly upon


----------



## Jim-mi

Homers protruding snout


----------



## SimplerTimez

, a sign of


----------



## Raeven

undying devotion if


----------



## Jaclynne

misplaced physical admiration.


----------



## Raeven

All the same,


----------



## Jaclynne

her feelings were


----------



## Raeven

beyond her control;


----------



## Jaclynne

she truly did


----------



## Raeven

yearn to share


----------



## kentuckyhippie

her bountiful body


----------



## Jim-mi

with garrulous Homer


----------



## arcticow

who had recently,


----------



## arcticow

unknown to any,


----------



## arcticow

taken strict vows


----------



## arcticow

of monastic celibacy!!!


----------



## Jaclynne

Silly man! What


----------



## Raeven

What a pity.


----------



## sustainabilly

Undaunted, Brunhilde saucily


----------



## Raeven

turned her attention


----------



## Jim-mi

to eating grubs


----------



## Raeven

because... what else?


----------



## SimplerTimez

Grubbily, Archibald bemoaned


----------



## Raeven

his loss, turning


----------



## SimplerTimez

over rocks, stones


----------



## Raeven

sighing with resignation


----------



## SimplerTimez

, drained of all


----------



## Raeven

joie de vivre,


----------



## vicker

and lacking matches,


----------



## SimplerTimez

..but wait! Spying


----------



## sustainabilly

a smutty romance


----------



## Twp.Tom

beckoning his call


----------



## Jim-mi

bedraggled RudyII appeared


----------



## Twp.Tom

Ready for action!


----------



## Jim-mi

Bring-it-on big boy


----------



## sustainabilly

. Suddenly, Brunhilde pounced


----------



## Twp.Tom

Only to Fall!


----------



## SimplerTimez

Two left feet


----------



## L.A.

3 right hands


----------



## SimplerTimez

- one girl band???


----------



## Twp.Tom

With a Flute*


----------



## Jim-mi

and pickled sardines


----------



## Twp.Tom

Smelled so good


----------



## Raeven

, she square-danced


----------



## Jaclynne

amongst geriatric couples


----------



## Raeven

baby powder puffing


----------



## Jaclynne

from too-tight shoes


----------



## sustainabilly

. Archibald leered suggestively


----------



## Raeven

... Brunhilde twinkled back.


----------



## sustainabilly

Her false eyelashes


----------



## Raeven

coming moistly unstuck


----------



## sustainabilly

, bird-tracks of mascara


----------



## Raeven

made their way


----------



## sustainabilly

down plump, scarlet


----------



## Jaclynne

cheeks, ending in


----------



## Raeven

a massive dimple


----------



## Jaclynne

at her creased


----------



## sustainabilly

, rather divot like


----------



## sustainabilly

Jaclynne said:


> at her creased


at her creased


----------



## Raeven

yet strangely hairy


----------



## sustainabilly

butterfly cheek tattoo.


----------



## Raeven

Archibald's knees felt


----------



## sustainabilly

unable to support


----------



## Jim-mi

his ample buttocks


----------



## sustainabilly

. His infatuation with


----------



## SimplerTimez

Brunhilde growing apparent <cheeky, I know>


----------



## sustainabilly

his eyes brazenly


----------



## SimplerTimez

scanning her lovely


----------



## sustainabilly

prominent widow's peak.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Bedazzled by Archibald's


----------



## sustainabilly

obvious romantic intentions,


----------



## Raeven

his impressive pastries,


----------



## sustainabilly

and big hands


----------



## Raeven

"Oh," Brunhilde breathed,


----------



## sustainabilly

hold my eyelashes?


----------



## SimplerTimez

Archibald bandied eyelashes,


----------



## sustainabilly

his lips gliding


----------



## SimplerTimez

around his harmonica


----------



## Raeven

, playing a tune


----------



## SimplerTimez

, tapping his toes


----------



## Raeven

, looking like a


----------



## Jim-mi

bumbling idiot mole


----------



## SimplerTimez

Archibald's a MOLE?


----------



## Raeven

No!! He just


----------



## SimplerTimez

resembles Edgar slightly


----------



## Raeven

Poor old Edgar...


----------



## Jim-mi

likes his sardines


----------



## arcticow

,mustard and tomato,


----------



## Jim-mi

his haughtiness prevailed


----------



## sustainabilly

on Brunhilde's coquettishness


----------



## Jim-mi

which exasperated him


----------



## Raeven

beyond all expression.


----------



## Twp.Tom

Was he ready?


----------



## SimplerTimez

Edgar has perseverance


----------



## Jim-mi

"Not tonight dear"


----------



## SimplerTimez

"My bunion" cried


----------



## Twp.Tom

Something else maybe?


----------



## Jim-mi

all or nothing


----------



## arcticow

Crows gathered overhead...


----------



## SimplerTimez

Raeven's cats applauded,


----------



## sustainabilly

Archie went for


----------



## Raeven

the Kentucky bourbon,


----------



## Twp.Tom

Tipped the bottle;


----------



## SimplerTimez

Wetting his whistle


----------



## kentuckyhippie

eventually fell down


----------



## Raeven

... Brunhilde gnashed her


----------



## SimplerTimez

carved wooden teeth


----------



## Jim-mi

on dried corn-cobs


----------



## Raeven

... curses, foiled again!!


----------



## sustainabilly

Grabbing the bottle,


----------



## SimplerTimez

Motown in background,


----------



## sustainabilly

Brunhilde went cruising


----------



## Jim-mi

for kinky sex


----------



## Jaclynne

and fresh rootbeer


----------



## sustainabilly

on the boardwalk


----------



## Jim-mi

of east Detroit


----------



## Raeven

Rootbeer and bourbon


----------



## sustainabilly

causing her extreme


----------



## Raeven

halitosis and blurry


----------



## sustainabilly

blurry blad spleech.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Stumbling among stone-crabs


----------



## Twp.Tom

She Found It!


----------



## sustainabilly

Her self respect?


----------



## Jim-mi

in a bottle


----------



## sustainabilly

. She cavorted and


----------



## Raeven

promptly lost it.


----------



## Twp.Tom

To a Man;


----------



## Raeven

Brunhilde was unattractive.


----------



## sustainabilly

But, to rodents


----------



## Raeven

irresistible in extremis!


----------



## sustainabilly

Edgar made his


----------



## Twp.Tom

Home with her


----------



## sustainabilly

ratty, straw-like hair.


----------



## Twp.Tom

nestled deep within


----------



## sustainabilly

he nuzzled her


----------



## SimplerTimez

delicate, freckled forearms.


----------



## Jim-mi

its time sweetie


----------



## Raeven

, for your delousing!


----------



## Twp.Tom

But I'm Clean?


----------



## Jim-mi

wanna bet ???


----------



## Twp.Tom

Raise you ten!


----------



## SimplerTimez

Back in Duluth,


----------



## Twp.Tom

ice is forming;


----------



## Jim-mi

in the toilet


----------



## Twp.Tom

Stoke the fire!


----------



## Raeven

Sylvester sat sullenly


----------



## arcticow

amid fluffy marshmallows


----------



## Raeven

, pondering his options


----------



## SimplerTimez

- "Roast, or not?"


----------



## Raeven

Marshmallows are best


----------



## arcticow

drizzled with honey


----------



## Jim-mi

and hot mustard


----------



## Raeven

for weight-loss efforts.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Newly svelte Brunhilde


----------



## Jim-mi

was primping her


----------



## SimplerTimez

freshly polished talons


----------



## Raeven

, like razors, they


----------



## arcticow

reflected sunlight blindingly.


----------



## Raeven

as she slashed


----------



## Jim-mi

the roast chicken


----------



## Raeven

(white meat only)


----------



## Jim-mi

gizzards went flying


----------



## Jaclynne

Brunhilde skewered a


----------



## SimplerTimez

freshly shot quail


----------



## Jim-mi

shot with bubblegum


----------



## Raeven

, which was stupid.


----------



## Jim-mi

but quite effective


----------



## Raeven

It was dead!


----------



## Jim-mi

bubbly chicken . . .yummm


----------



## arcticow

Blowing chicken bubbles,


----------



## Raeven

Complete recipe fail.


----------



## Jim-mi

compost bin components


----------



## arcticow

on a bun!!


----------



## SimplerTimez

Tumbling in composter


----------



## Jim-mi

healthy happy worms


----------



## Marilyn

wiggling in warmth


----------



## CajunSunshine

singing in unison



.


----------



## Raeven

-- Broadway show tunes!


----------



## CajunSunshine

Hecklers threw tomatoes


.


----------



## Raeven

, being generally unkind.


----------



## arcticow

Nasty worm hecklers!!!


----------



## arcticow

Then robins descended!!!


----------



## Jim-mi

Robin to-the rescue


----------



## Raeven

... term used loosely.


----------



## arcticow

Robins rejoiced, anyway...


----------



## SimplerTimez

worms held vigils.


----------



## Raeven

Egbert the worm


----------



## SimplerTimez

, escaping tumbler aftermath


----------



## Raeven

inched his way


----------



## kentuckyhippie

to nearest strip-joint


----------



## sustainabilly

. Wriggling up the


----------



## arcticow

busy interstate highway.


----------



## Jim-mi

dodging hippie vans


----------



## Raeven

(That was me.)


----------



## sustainabilly

scared castless, he


----------



## Raeven

dodged and wove


----------



## Jim-mi

saw the fishing-hook


----------



## arcticow

,hard for worms,


----------



## Raeven

nonetheless, he prevailed!


----------



## arcticow

Hail, conquering worm!!


----------



## Raeven

Hastily, he reached


----------



## sustainabilly

with wormy hands(?)


----------



## Raeven

(Ok, that right there is creepy!!)

for the barstool


----------



## sustainabilly

. Next, the pole.


----------



## arcticow

Pole dancing worm?!?


----------



## Raeven

Egbert had notions.


----------



## sustainabilly

And the outfit.


----------



## Raeven

Wiggle, wiggle, he


----------



## sustainabilly

made girl worms


----------



## Raeven

wriggle with delight!


----------



## sustainabilly

Throwing compost, they


----------



## Raeven

wolf-whistled, whooped and


----------



## sustainabilly

slimed the bar.


----------



## Raeven

(That was terribibble!!)


----------



## arcticow

Too racy, worms!!


----------



## Raeven

Tucking his bankroll


----------



## sustainabilly

near his third


----------



## Raeven

segment, Egbert continued


----------



## arcticow

his wild undulations.


----------



## Raeven

Soon, however, he


----------



## arcticow

slipped a segment


----------



## Raeven

.... end of career.


----------



## arcticow

Waking in a


----------



## arcticow

full body cast,


----------



## sustainabilly

strange vermicompost bin,


----------



## Raeven

squinting through agony,


----------



## sustainabilly

five hearts pumping


----------



## Raeven

, sweating Workman's Compensation,


----------



## arcticow

wishing for AFLAC,


----------



## sustainabilly

Ducks like worms...


----------



## SimplerTimez

- worms can duck.


----------



## Raeven

Egbert slipped away!!


----------



## arcticow

Body cast dragging,


----------



## Raeven

Acapulco sounded good.


----------



## sustainabilly

Alas, Brunhilde stomped


----------



## Raeven

, missing by centimeters!!


----------



## arcticow

her size 18,


----------



## Raeven

Doc Martens shuffled


----------



## sustainabilly

capezio dance shoes


----------



## SimplerTimez

Shoe sale NOW!


----------



## sustainabilly

who was barefoot


----------



## Raeven

Egbert judiciously escaped


----------



## arcticow

Large-footed gals stampede!!


----------



## Raeven

Burrowing his way


----------



## Jim-mi

dance pole waltz ????????


----------



## sustainabilly

towards East Detroit,


----------



## arcticow

under the river,


----------



## Raeven

TOWARD ACAPULCO, dodging


----------



## sustainabilly

East Detroit...Hmph!


----------



## arcticow

Dreaming mojito dreams,


----------



## Raeven

gentle Mexican breezes,


----------



## sustainabilly

reminising about Ruby


----------



## Raeven

... rest in peace.


----------



## arcticow

swilling coconut water,


----------



## sustainabilly

Egbert met Juanita


----------



## Raeven

, racy little centipede


----------



## sustainabilly

, very talented fan-dancer


----------



## Raeven

Over fifty fans!!


----------



## Jim-mi

with 19 legs


----------



## sustainabilly

No Waiting!....Oy,:smack


----------



## SimplerTimez

Fans for miles


----------



## sustainabilly

. Juanita dusted part-time


----------



## Raeven

to make ends


----------



## sustainabilly

meet, and feed


----------



## Raeven

her seventy-five offspring.


----------



## sustainabilly

She eyed Egbert


----------



## Raeven

, got a headache,


----------



## sustainabilly

and fanned herself.


----------



## Jim-mi

into total oblivion


----------



## sustainabilly

Scratch one Juanita.


----------



## arcticow

Wouldn't have worked...


----------



## Jim-mi

Elmer is mortified


----------



## Raeven

(Who is Elmer??)


----------



## arcticow

Elsie Cow's husband...


----------



## Raeven

Egbert, you mean?


----------



## arcticow

If it's worms...


----------



## Raeven

You trapped me!!


----------



## arcticow

Wormy ol' Egbert


----------



## Raeven

whistled a tune


----------



## arcticow

difficult with wormlips.


----------



## Jim-mi

Elmer: resident CIA . .?!?!


----------



## Guest

"I invented eggs!!!"
(quote attributed to Charles "Chick" Enlittle.)


----------



## Raeven

Elmer pursued Egbert


----------



## sustainabilly

with cow-like stubborness


----------



## Jim-mi

Egbert ran like _____


----------



## sustainabilly

winter chilled molasses


----------



## Jim-mi

to the outhouse


----------



## kentuckyhippie

headfirst into wall


----------



## arcticow

Waking to odiferous


----------



## Jim-mi

olfactory stimulus, Egbert


----------



## arcticow

sought fresh air


----------



## Raeven

and new beginnings


----------



## Jim-mi

with clean bloomers


----------



## arcticow

, burning old ones.


----------



## Jim-mi

Ruby's goblin cringed


----------



## arcticow

before faeries' wands,


----------



## sustainabilly

and rampaging leprechauns.


----------



## Raeven

He worried about


----------



## arcticow

being transformed into


----------



## Raeven

a deranged bellydancer


----------



## sustainabilly

but rigor mortis


----------



## arcticow

puts a crimp


----------



## Raeven

in his style.


----------



## sustainabilly

Now, lip synching


----------



## arcticow

Hank Williams songs,


----------



## Raeven

THAT, he rocked!


----------



## arcticow

Female faeries swooned,


----------



## Raeven

he swayed his


----------



## Jim-mi

very ample tush


----------



## arcticow

when suddenly, Gebhardt


----------



## Raeven

eyebrows furiously wriggling,


----------



## arcticow

swung his axe


----------



## Raeven

, and with one


----------



## arcticow

blow, struck off


----------



## Raeven

his goblin-y nose!


----------



## Jim-mi

shattered into five


----------



## Raeven

shards of cartilage.


----------



## CajunSunshine

Boogers rained down



.


----------



## Raeven

-- screaming, everyone fled!!


----------



## CajunSunshine

No one escaped



.


----------



## sustainabilly

the nasal bombardment


----------



## Jim-mi

Gretta laughed uncontrolably


----------



## arcticow

Germanic faerie laughter.


----------



## Jim-mi

was heard througthout


----------



## SimplerTimez

Germany -- of course!


----------



## arcticow

Wilhelm and Eva


----------



## Raeven

, the Weimaraner sisters,


----------



## arcticow

were tough faeries,


----------



## Raeven

lead singers in


----------



## arcticow

death metal band.


----------



## Raeven

Eva played accordion


----------



## arcticow

, Wilhelm played axe.


----------



## arcticow

The real kind...


----------



## Raeven

Eva's abbreviated toes


----------



## SimplerTimez

gripped the barre <not to be confused with the bar...>


----------



## arcticow

& bore witness to


----------



## arcticow

Wilhelm's juggling ineptitude.


----------



## Raeven

A disturbing scar


----------



## arcticow

crossed Wilhelm's cheek...


----------



## Raeven

another silent testament


----------



## arcticow

to her skills!!


----------



## Raeven

They traveled around


----------



## arcticow

rocking out wherever


----------



## Raeven

townspeople would allow


----------



## arcticow

a blood-spattered hall.


----------



## Raeven

Quite an act!!


----------



## arcticow

The mosh pit


----------



## arcticow

being quite hazardous,


----------



## SimplerTimez

to unsuspecting dancers


----------



## arcticow

not wearing armor.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Knights often mosh


----------



## arcticow

albeit very noisily,


----------



## SimplerTimez

chain-mail shining brightly


----------



## arcticow

and sweat flying.


----------



## Jim-mi

above and beyond


----------



## Raeven

... but we digress.


----------



## arcticow

The nasty, bleeding,


----------



## arcticow

noseless goblin crept


----------



## Jim-mi

sideways across manure


----------



## SimplerTimez

, tenuously tangoing tantalizingly


----------



## arcticow

near to disaster.


----------



## arcticow

Disaster, a buzzard,


----------



## SimplerTimez

noshing on roadkill


----------



## arcticow

eyed fresher meat...


----------



## Jim-mi

. . .pickled chicken gizzards.....


----------



## sustainabilly

from KFC's dumpster


----------



## SimplerTimez

near Shrek's place.


----------



## Raeven

Truly a feast


----------



## arcticow

to be fought over


----------



## Raeven

!! After their repast,


----------



## arcticow

big burps ( too many words last post)


----------



## SimplerTimez

,dirty stained bibs


----------



## Raeven

... all that remained.


----------



## sustainabilly

Meanwhile, the Mexican


----------



## SimplerTimez

Jumping Bean Quartet


----------



## Jim-mi

with three tenors


----------



## sustainabilly

and hairless dog,


----------



## SimplerTimez

a Chihuahua perhaps?


----------



## sustainabilly

Singing acapella mariachi


----------



## arcticow

NOT crowd pleasing,


----------



## Raeven

but beloved nonetheless.


----------



## Twp.Tom

smoking the cannabis*


----------



## arcticow

Tone deafness being


----------



## Raeven

a welcome virtue


----------



## arcticow

endemic nation wide


----------



## Raeven

. Eva said to


----------



## arcticow

Wilhelm, "Sister dearest,


----------



## sustainabilly

Consepcion, Que pasa,


----------



## Raeven

Mas cerveza, por


----------



## arcticow

(As German faerie


----------



## arcticow

immigrants to Chile)


----------



## sustainabilly

favor, Chica? Eh?


----------



## Twp.Tom

climb the mountain


----------



## Raeven

She fluttered and


----------



## sustainabilly

batted her lashes,


----------



## Raeven

hiding her mole


----------



## arcticow

from El Sancho


----------



## sustainabilly

Edgar, behind her.


----------



## arcticow

Who is Edgar?


----------



## sustainabilly

(Time for review?)


----------



## Jim-mi

Edgar the physic


----------



## Twp.Tom

Mole in command


----------



## Jim-mi

of three spit-toons


----------



## vicker

, the remote control,


----------



## arcticow

& the mail box


----------



## Jim-mi

Cheerios box tops


----------



## arcticow

Missed Edgar's debut...


----------



## Jim-mi

very little astuteness


----------



## arcticow

Edgar the mole


----------



## Jim-mi

is rather dumb


----------



## kentuckyhippie

and rather dirty


----------



## Jim-mi

but very horney


----------



## SimplerTimez

Moles have horns?!?


----------



## sustainabilly

. "Eva", he crooned,


----------



## SimplerTimez

while digging furiously


----------



## sustainabilly

for cab fare,


----------



## SimplerTimez

tattered Fedora askew


----------



## sustainabilly

, "Let me hold


----------



## arcticow

your wallet, sweetie."


----------



## arcticow

Eva said breathily.


----------



## sustainabilly

. "Sure, but it's


----------



## Jim-mi

full of maggots


----------



## sustainabilly

. The preferred coinage


----------



## SimplerTimez

of furry male


----------



## sustainabilly

Scalopus aquaticus everywhere.


----------



## Jim-mi

Edgar . .no exception


----------



## Jim-mi

went sledding up-hill


----------



## Raeven

, all relationships being


----------



## Jim-mi

slip sliding away


----------



## Raeven

... but Edgar mustered


----------



## arcticow

the bucks for


----------



## SimplerTimez

a shindig hoedown


----------



## arcticow

and snow cones.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Dueling banjos appeared


----------



## Raeven

and Edgar wept.


----------



## arcticow

Salty snow cones...


----------



## SimplerTimez

juggled dexterously while


----------



## kentuckyhippie

while tap-dancing nude


----------



## Raeven

(messy, messy, messy!)


----------



## Twp.Tom

time to shower!


----------



## SimplerTimez

Solar shower ready


----------



## Twp.Tom

Ahhhh Hot Water!


----------



## Raeven

Edgar lathered up


----------



## Twp.Tom

Washed his unmentionables*


----------



## Raeven

-- as you do --


----------



## Twp.Tom

A little dance


----------



## Raeven

completed his toiletries.


----------



## Twp.Tom

Now I'm Clean*


----------



## Raeven

and ready for


----------



## Twp.Tom

The Grand Finale*


----------



## Raeven

-- whatever it is!!"


----------



## Twp.Tom

Blows us away


----------



## Jim-mi

on the half-pipe


----------



## Twp.Tom

Waxed his Board*


----------



## Raeven

, hung ten toes,


----------



## Jim-mi

and totally crashed


----------



## arcticow

Moles don't snowboard!!


----------



## Raeven

Edgar was unique,


----------



## Twp.Tom

Edgar's very Unusual


----------



## Raeven

a valuable mole!


----------



## Twp.Tom

He was priceless


----------



## Raeven

Wilhelm saw opportunities!


----------



## SimplerTimez

Mole-boarding Olympic hopeful


----------



## Raeven

or circus performer,


----------



## Twp.Tom

On the Tightrope


----------



## Raeven

Wilhelm saw $$$!!


----------



## Twp.Tom

A "cash cow"


----------



## Raeven

Edgar, sensing captivity,


----------



## Twp.Tom

began to run


----------



## SimplerTimez

mooing, distracting captors


----------



## Twp.Tom

quick left turn


----------



## Raeven

, scurry under a


----------



## Twp.Tom

Piece of wood


----------



## Raeven

which was floating


----------



## SimplerTimez

in pebble-bottomed river


----------



## Twp.Tom

down the stream


----------



## Raeven

feeding the Mississippi!


----------



## SimplerTimez

Eva floated past


----------



## Raeven

in her houseboat


----------



## Twp.Tom

Looking for companionship*


----------



## Jim-mi

Edgar's eyes bugged


----------



## SimplerTimez

out, crab-like, purple


----------



## Jim-mi

grape wine purple ?????


----------



## Raeven

(Edgar was colorful!)


----------



## arcticow

His star nose


----------



## arcticow

contrasted with purple


----------



## Raeven

a lovely shade


----------



## arcticow

of whitish pink.


----------



## Raeven

Eva wiggled her


----------



## arcticow

shortened hairy toes


----------



## Jim-mi

into figure skates


----------



## Raeven

, awkwardly posing in


----------



## Jim-mi

a cashmere leotard


----------



## arcticow

with holes for


----------



## arcticow

her filmy wings.


----------



## Jim-mi

with cows feathers


----------



## sustainabilly

festooning her accordian


----------



## SimplerTimez

; chartreuse of course!


----------



## sustainabilly

Eva played a


----------



## Jim-mi

Laurance Welk waltz


----------



## sustainabilly

while skating on


----------



## SimplerTimez

thin ice with


----------



## Jim-mi

out a nose-guard


----------



## arcticow

. Commencing a polka,


----------



## SimplerTimez

frittering away the


----------



## arcticow

wee early hours,


----------



## Jim-mi

with uncontrolled burping


----------



## sustainabilly

accompanied by accordian


----------



## CajunSunshine

,drowning the sound



.


----------



## Raeven

of unsettling howling


----------



## CajunSunshine

at the moon


.


----------



## Jim-mi

with garlic breath


----------



## Twp.Tom

A Vampire appeared!


----------



## Jim-mi

with sixteen zombies


----------



## kentuckyhippie

losing body parts


----------



## Jim-mi

very strange apparition


----------



## arcticow

while lilacs bloomed.


----------



## Raeven

It was disturbing.


----------



## Jim-mi

down right knee-jerk


----------



## Raeven

... a strange parade!


----------



## arcticow

The whir of


----------



## arcticow

faerie wings, like


----------



## arcticow

whispers of wind,


----------



## Jim-mi

echoed around fig-trees


----------



## Twp.Tom

exploded in Light!


----------



## sustainabilly

Happily, Eva was


----------



## Twp.Tom

On her way;


----------



## Jim-mi

to gold-medal visions


----------



## arcticow

Closed eyes and


----------



## arcticow

trees don't mix...


----------



## Jim-mi

tush over tea-kettle


----------



## arcticow

deep into snowdrift,


----------



## Jim-mi

Gold meddle effort.....


----------



## Raeven

She stood shakily


----------



## SimplerTimez

, arms still akimbo


----------



## arcticow

ears snow filled,


----------



## Raeven

collecting her thoughts.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Edgar tunneled in


----------



## Jim-mi

massaging Eva's toes


----------



## arcticow

til his claws


----------



## arcticow

got hair entangled...


----------



## SimplerTimez

leading to amputation.


----------



## arcticow

Edgar, clawless mole,


----------



## SimplerTimez

squirmed piteously towards


----------



## Raeven

Eva, hoping for


----------



## SimplerTimez

left-over Valentine's chocolates


----------



## Raeven

and mistaking Edgar's


----------



## Twp.Tom

Kind Gesture to;


----------



## Jim-mi

eat fried eggplant


----------



## Raeven

, Eva went looking


----------



## Jim-mi

for salty sardines


----------



## sustainabilly

at Sharkey's Seafoodshack


----------



## Twp.Tom

Sharkey was pleased*


----------



## sustainabilly

. Today's special, free


----------



## Twp.Tom

Heart shaped Filets


----------



## SimplerTimez

, buttered corn bread


----------



## Twp.Tom

Large Sweet tea,


----------



## SimplerTimez

breaded fried okra,


----------



## Twp.Tom

On the House!


----------



## sustainabilly

I'll take mine


----------



## Jim-mi

to the outhouse


----------



## sustainabilly

on a plate


----------



## Raeven

No movement wasted! (So to speak.)


----------



## sustainabilly

Relieved, Eva ambled


----------



## Raeven

toward Eloy, Arizona


----------



## sustainabilly

, home of NachoMamas


----------



## Raeven

Authentic Grits Emporium!


----------



## sustainabilly

where her sisters


----------



## Raeven

made their fortunes.


----------



## kentuckyhippie

by pole dancing


----------



## Raeven

with fishing poles


----------



## sustainabilly

for sand sharks.


----------



## Raeven

They were plentiful


----------



## sustainabilly

toothsome little buggers


----------



## Raeven

, tricky to catch


----------



## sustainabilly

, Eloy's claim to


----------



## Twp.Tom

his incredible fame;


----------



## Jim-mi

his paunchy plentifulness


----------



## arcticow

... Sand shark tacos!


----------



## Guest

with supernumerary toppings


----------



## Raeven

and dental floss.


----------



## arcticow

Chocolate dental floss.


----------



## Guest

Afterwards, a snifter


----------



## Jim-mi

rabbit pellet gravy


----------



## Guest

blended with Courvoisier


----------



## arcticow

(stop to puke)


----------



## SimplerTimez

Eva disliked effluent


----------



## sustainabilly

. Eloy's disgruntled citizens


----------



## SimplerTimez

began running amok


----------



## Twp.Tom

Over the hills*


----------



## SimplerTimez

, through the woods


----------



## sustainabilly

with pitchforks and


----------



## Twp.Tom

Sharp Lopping shears!


----------



## Raeven

Eva grabbed Edgar


----------



## Twp.Tom

saving his appendages!


----------



## Raeven

Edgar clung to


----------



## Twp.Tom

Eva 's strong grip*


----------



## Raeven

eyes bulging, he


----------



## Twp.Tom

Locked lips Instantly!


----------



## Raeven

Eva screamed, "Stop!!!"


----------



## Twp.Tom

Edgar let go?


----------



## Raeven

(Edgar's a mole!!)


----------



## Twp.Tom

Moles Have Feelings?


----------



## Raeven

(Our moles do.)


----------



## Twp.Tom

Edgar was pleased


----------



## Raeven

and snuggled happily


----------



## Twp.Tom

His Life Complete*


----------



## Raeven

even without paws.


----------



## Jim-mi

with absolutely nothing


----------



## Twp.Tom

He still felt;


----------



## Raeven

something was missing.


----------



## Jim-mi

He mold away


----------



## SimplerTimez

; Spring's promise enlivened


----------



## arcticow

peepers the size


----------



## arcticow

of small dogs.


----------



## Jim-mi

digging 'mold' tunnels


----------



## arcticow

African swallows returning


----------



## arcticow

, dropped large coconuts


----------



## Twp.Tom

Bonked Edgars Head!


----------



## Raeven

Edgar looked scruffy.


----------



## Twp.Tom

His hair unkempt


----------



## Raeven

, little ears drooping,


----------



## Twp.Tom

His tail,dragging


----------



## Raeven

, close to exhaustion.


----------



## Twp.Tom

Layed down alone:


----------



## Raeven

sniffled and shivered


----------



## Twp.Tom

His Madness intensified


----------



## Raeven

"Where's my friend??"


----------



## Twp.Tom

Has he left?


----------



## Raeven

Poor, lonesome mole.


----------



## Twp.Tom

"I will survive!"


----------



## Raeven

Suddenly, Edgar heard


----------



## Twp.Tom

loud foot steps


----------



## Raeven

! He quickly burrowed


----------



## Twp.Tom

a safety tunnel;


----------



## Jim-mi

under the two-holer


----------



## SimplerTimez

and found Jim-mi!


----------



## Twp.Tom

eating some cheese*


----------



## Jim-mi

and of-course sardines


----------



## arcticow

. Whereupon, Edgar remarked,


----------



## Raeven

"Fries with that?"


----------



## arcticow

A sardine shot


----------



## arcticow

out Jim-mi's nose...


----------



## Jim-mi

landing on Edgar's


----------



## SimplerTimez

rough little foot-pads (hey, I have had a mole as a pet once!)


----------



## Jim-mi

Edgar hot-footed out


----------



## Raeven

of his burrow


----------



## Twp.Tom

to find another


----------



## Raeven

silly, pointless adventure.


----------



## Twp.Tom

Whistlin', while walking


----------



## Jim-mi

crusty red-head Revina


----------



## Twp.Tom

found a friend


----------



## SimplerTimez

to whistle in


----------



## Raeven

blissful, comforting harmony.


----------



## Twp.Tom

They were planning;


----------



## Raeven

a terrible crime!


----------



## Twp.Tom

they didn't know


----------



## SimplerTimez

NSA was listening


----------



## Raeven

, which didn't matter


----------



## Jim-mi

up from down


----------



## Raeven

, because they couldn't


----------



## Twp.Tom

Shoot straight anyway


----------



## Raeven

(uuuhhhh... that's NSA, not NRA....)


----------



## Twp.Tom

Poised with spears!


----------



## Raeven

Naked Spearman Association??


----------



## Twp.Tom

So Perfectly natural


----------



## Jim-mi

to-be buck naked


----------



## arcticow

, stealing garden gnomes,


----------



## Raeven

and laughing maniacally


----------



## Jim-mi

at flying pigs


----------



## SimplerTimez

(you should have let me go first Jim!)

,while accurately sling-shotting


----------



## arcticow

scampering thru shrubbery.


----------



## Raeven

... what a sight!!


----------



## Jim-mi

for moldy eyes


----------



## arcticow

A sudden, violent


----------



## arcticow

downpour and hail


----------



## arcticow

swept across the


----------



## Jim-mi

Arsenic sand dunes


----------



## Twp.Tom

proceeding, violently ill


----------



## Jim-mi

after consuming pizza


----------



## SimplerTimez

,sardines and cheese.


----------



## Jim-mi

only the best


----------



## SimplerTimez

tap-dancing duo around.


----------



## Jim-mi

the pole dancers


----------



## Laura Zone 5

on the corner


----------



## Twp.Tom

drew a crowd;


----------



## Jim-mi

pole dancing moles


----------



## Jim-mi

stretching the imagination


----------



## arcticow

past breaking point!!!


----------



## Jim-mi

Revina laughed hesitantly


----------



## arcticow

, and little wonder...


----------



## arcticow

Tremors began to


----------



## arcticow

rock the area


----------



## Jim-mi

Bubba stomped in


----------



## Raeven

and looked around


----------



## sustainabilly

for the missus


----------



## Raeven

... but she'd gone.


----------



## sustainabilly

Whereupon, he decided


----------



## Raeven

a vacation to


----------



## sustainabilly

Tortuguero, Costa Rica.


----------



## Raeven

Good coffee everywhere!


----------



## sustainabilly

Monteverde, a short


----------



## Raeven

list for Quakers,


----------



## sustainabilly

and retired Episcopalians


----------



## Raeven

... holy kinda place.


----------



## sustainabilly

Now... Bubba knew


----------



## Raeven

he secretly wished


----------



## sustainabilly

to own his


----------



## Raeven

fine ladies' clothing


----------



## sustainabilly

emporium. Except that


----------



## Raeven

a lack of


----------



## sustainabilly

banana fiber fabric


----------



## Raeven

meant all clothing


----------



## sustainabilly

was entirely optional.


----------



## Raeven

Bad business idea.


----------



## sustainabilly

Great! for tourism.


----------



## Raeven

So instead, Bubba


----------



## sustainabilly

bought a burro


----------



## Raeven

and mounting same,


----------



## sustainabilly

searched for the


----------



## Raeven

path to enlightenment.


----------



## sustainabilly

A treacherous mountain


----------



## Raeven

complicated his journey


----------



## sustainabilly

. Enlightenment loomed distantly.


----------



## Raeven

Which was problematic,


----------



## sustainabilly

for Bubba's limited


----------



## Raeven

brainpower to comprehend!


----------



## sustainabilly

Luckily, his burro


----------



## Raeven

, Rupert, was able


----------



## sustainabilly

to read maps.


----------



## Raeven

So off to


----------



## sustainabilly

AAA they cantered


----------



## Raeven

for maps to


----------



## sustainabilly

a Scientology Meet-up


----------



## Raeven

in Santa Monica.


----------



## sustainabilly

Meanwhile, Mrs. Bubba


----------



## Raeven

enjoyed her freedom


----------



## sustainabilly

bought a goat,


----------



## Raeven

(probably Hazelnut's cousin)


----------



## sustainabilly

Women and goats!!


----------



## Raeven

Bubba came runnin'!!!


----------



## sustainabilly

Dragging Rupert behind


----------



## Raeven

, hindquarters solidly planted


----------



## Jim-mi

behind the two-holer


----------



## sustainabilly

and braying madly


----------



## Raeven

as Bubba labored


----------



## sustainabilly

for minimum wage.


----------



## Raeven

which was increasing!


----------



## bajiay

Still not enough


----------



## Raeven

, but Bubba managed.


----------



## Jim-mi

a toothless grin


----------



## bajiay

and crossed eyes


----------



## Raeven

, practicing his clown


----------



## arcticow

faces for the


----------



## arcticow

rodeo next week.


----------



## Raeven

Bumbleberry, the bull


----------



## Twp.Tom

Was very Horny


----------



## Raeven

-- Bubba was nervous.


----------



## Twp.Tom

chewing his nails


----------



## Raeven

. He worried about


----------



## Twp.Tom

what to do?


----------



## Raeven

Was Kevlar enough?


----------



## Twp.Tom

to stop penetration


----------



## Jim-mi

Bumbleberry's eyes crossed


----------



## Raeven

... he snorted and


----------



## Jim-mi

Bubba got scarred


----------



## Raeven

(Thank you.  )

-- began to sing


----------



## Guest

"When ducks cry"
(Lyric by Prints)


----------



## Jim-mi

I wet myself


----------



## Twp.Tom

The Kevlar failed?


----------



## arcticow

Doesn't hold... moisture.


----------



## Twp.Tom

He was ashamed


----------



## Jim-mi

macho Bubba started


----------



## Twp.Tom

To quietly wimper


----------



## arcticow

Then he changed.


----------



## SimplerTimez

into his tutu


----------



## Twp.Tom

for some partying!


----------



## SimplerTimez

Dancing enlivens body


----------



## Twp.Tom

The Soul Shines!


----------



## Raeven

He pirouetted hither


----------



## Twp.Tom

spinning into space*


----------



## Raeven

"Now I'm doomed,"


----------



## Twp.Tom

It's not bad?


----------



## Raeven

as deaths go.


----------



## Twp.Tom

could be worse?


----------



## Raeven

Bumbleberry lumbered over


----------



## Twp.Tom

Barely alive


----------



## Raeven

but still curious


----------



## Twp.Tom

He took a sniff


----------



## Jim-mi

and promptly vomited


----------



## arcticow

his toes out!


----------



## SimplerTimez

EMTs on scene


----------



## Raeven

"Bulls have toes?"


----------



## SimplerTimez

, inquired city EMT.


----------



## Raeven

"What a mess!!"


----------



## SimplerTimez

Meanwhile, Brunhilde sighed


----------



## Raeven

, trying on shoes.

(And I had to go back to P. 171 to find a reference again to Brunhilde!!!!)


----------



## Jim-mi

with 6" heels


----------



## SimplerTimez

and purple gauntlets


----------



## Raeven

Plastic surgery had


----------



## SimplerTimez

proven costly but


----------



## Raeven

yielded inarguable results!


----------



## SimplerTimez

Otis and Sito


----------



## arcticow

who had recently


----------



## arcticow

done bariatric surgery,


----------



## Raeven

cut dashing figures.


----------



## SimplerTimez

first time twin


----------



## SimplerTimez

<edit grumble edit>

in the luge


----------



## arcticow

bald heads gleaming!


----------



## Raeven

The women swooned!!


----------



## SimplerTimez

Fans lightly fluttered


----------



## arcticow

as did lashes...


----------



## Jim-mi

irritated Bubba no-end


----------



## arcticow

Bumbleberry, feeling better,


----------



## SimplerTimez

good-humoredly set off


----------



## Jim-mi

charged the goats


----------



## Guest

with felonious assault.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Otis acted judiciously


----------



## Jim-mi

the Winchester recoiled


----------



## vicker

in absolute horror


----------



## arcticow

from Bumbleberry's snorts!!


----------



## SimplerTimez

at sighting goats!


----------



## Jim-mi

Bumbleberrys rage grew


----------



## SimplerTimez

, puzzling Brunhilde mightily.


----------



## arcticow

Then Bumbleberry's nose


----------



## arcticow

ring hit the


----------



## arcticow

hot electric fence...


----------



## Jim-mi

eyes permanently crossed


----------



## Twp.Tom

tail between legs


----------



## arcticow

ear hairs scorched,


----------



## Jim-mi

snorting permanently squelched


----------



## arcticow

Eva, fluttering by,


----------



## arcticow

stopped to kiss


----------



## arcticow

Bumbleberry's twitching nose.


----------



## Jim-mi

Bumbleberry's grunting resumed


----------



## arcticow

Eva giggled loudly.


----------



## Raeven

Bumbleberry leaned forward


----------



## Twp.Tom

Those Horns again!


----------



## Raeven

Eva leaped nimbly


----------



## arcticow

onto his head.


----------



## Twp.Tom

Holding on tightly


----------



## Raeven

as Bumbleberry began


----------



## Twp.Tom

to drink again


----------



## Raeven

. She wrapped her


----------



## Twp.Tom

legs around him*


----------



## Raeven

devastation shortly followed.


----------



## Twp.Tom

their little "escapade"


----------



## Raeven

at an end.


----------



## Twp.Tom

would she return?


----------



## Raeven

Was she alive?


----------



## arcticow

Who can say???


----------



## Raeven

Does anyone care??


----------



## Twp.Tom

It was important*


----------



## Raeven

to someone, somewhere.


----------



## Jim-mi

Al Capon's reincarnation


----------



## Raeven

as a rooster


----------



## SimplerTimez

fully trussed 'course


----------



## Raeven

-- recipe for capon


----------



## SimplerTimez

Crisp grilled asparagus,


----------



## Raeven

-- a fine dinner


----------



## Twp.Tom

For a Gangster


----------



## arcticow

rooster from the


----------



## arcticow

cockfighting pit nearby...


----------



## Raeven

Al Capon reared


----------



## Jim-mi

reared up in


----------



## SimplerTimez

huffy dismay over


----------



## Raeven

being made to


----------



## Twp.Tom

submit to rules


----------



## SimplerTimez

- placard painting commenced!


----------



## Raeven

Money exchanged hands!!


----------



## Twp.Tom

for the finale


----------



## Raeven

... air, dank with


----------



## arcticow

rooster sweat, and


----------



## Raeven

blood on the


----------



## Guest

Saddle of Strife


----------



## Raeven

... all very Dostoevsky.


----------



## Guest

or Tex Ritter.....


----------



## Raeven

or Zane Grey...


----------



## Guest

who incidentally was


----------



## Raeven

also a dentist


----------



## Guest

for emus only.


----------



## Raeven

But never mind!


----------



## Guest

Back in the


----------



## Raeven

cockfighting pit, Al


----------



## arcticow

sharpened his spurs.


----------



## kentuckyhippie

smoked a cigar


----------



## Raeven

, revised his will.


----------



## arcticow

Bright lights and


----------



## arcticow

sirens erupted everywhere!!!


----------



## Laura Zone 5

All of the


----------



## Raeven

rowdy crowd gasped


----------



## Jim-mi

no more booze


----------



## Raeven

!! A scary situation


----------



## SimplerTimez

ensued, escalating rapidly


----------



## Guest

, destroyed by madness


----------



## Raeven

and expired coupons.


----------



## Jim-mi

for Betty-Cropper cake-mix


----------



## arcticow

Al was jailed,


----------



## arcticow

and sentenced to


----------



## arcticow

life on an


----------



## Jim-mi

china fishing boat


----------



## arcticow

as alarm clock.


----------



## arcticow

Couldn't crow Chinese...


----------



## SimplerTimez

Bok Bok Choi?


----------



## arcticow

Put to fishing,


----------



## arcticow

like a cormorant,


----------



## SimplerTimez

snake-like, diving deeply


----------



## arcticow

fish gagged Al!!!


----------



## Jim-mi

Bok Choi upchuck


----------



## arcticow

all over the


----------



## arcticow

fisherman's wife's blouse.


----------



## Jim-mi

and pink too-too


----------



## SimplerTimez

. Pirouetting to wash-basin


----------



## arcticow

Al took wing


----------



## SimplerTimez

, Eva curtsied low


----------



## arcticow

Bumblerry snorted loudly,


----------



## Raeven

and bowed back.


----------



## arcticow

They waltzed gracefully


----------



## Raeven

until nothing was


----------



## Twp.Tom

left to chance


----------



## arcticow

The hurricane struck


----------



## Raeven

with a vengeance


----------



## Twp.Tom

torrential rains fell


----------



## Raeven

, the winds howled!


----------



## Twp.Tom

would they survive?


----------



## Raeven

With luck, no.


----------



## Twp.Tom

He had Faith*


----------



## Raeven

Eva grabbed Bumbleberry


----------



## Twp.Tom

They escaped together*


----------



## Raeven

to Lincoln, Nebraska


----------



## Twp.Tom

to Homestead together*


----------



## Raeven

Bumbleberry had skills.


----------



## Twp.Tom

using his horns*


----------



## Jim-mi

his crossed eyes


----------



## Twp.Tom

were not detrimental


----------



## Jim-mi

To cross examination


----------



## Raeven

. In loud tones,


----------



## arcticow

Eva's former elf-lover,


----------



## Raeven

Bartholomew, smiled joyfully


----------



## arcticow

Smiling loudly hurts!!


----------



## Raeven

But never mind;


----------



## arcticow

Elvish love rebloomed...


----------



## Raeven

Bartholomew's charms proved


----------



## Twp.Tom

He's the one


----------



## arcticow

Eva's wings fluttered...


----------



## Raeven

with Ranch dressing


----------



## arcticow

A gigantic black


----------



## arcticow

beetle scuttled forward,


----------



## arcticow

legs stirring dust...


----------



## Jim-mi

the beagle fled


----------



## Twp.Tom

Barking and howling


----------



## SimplerTimez

beetle to beagle? <puzzled>


----------



## Twp.Tom

the beetle confused?


----------



## arcticow

Beagle-eating beetle.


----------



## SimplerTimez

<crunch>
pleased his mistress


----------



## arcticow

Elvira, dark queen...


----------



## Jim-mi

hates beetle busters


----------



## Raeven

(I got nothin'.)


----------



## Twp.Tom

nuthin, to lose


----------



## Jim-mi

Beagles fear beetles


----------



## arcticow

Beetles use chemicals.


----------



## Jim-mi

intolerable for Beagles


----------



## Jim-mi

who are left-handed


----------



## arcticow

and right brained.


----------



## Twp.Tom

working for Dow


----------



## kentuckyhippie

every other wednesday


----------



## arcticow

except full moons.


----------



## Raeven

The nightmare ended.


----------



## Jim-mi

when Elvis arrived


----------



## Raeven

, gyrating his hips,


----------



## Guest

Wanting Lorena Bobbit


----------



## Raeven

to demonstrate skills


----------



## Guest

Of exacting justice.


----------



## Raeven

Excluding himself, naturally.


----------



## arcticow

Lovely pink unicorns


----------



## Raeven

pranced on stage


----------



## arcticow

midst rainbow sparkles


----------



## Raeven

and balloon animals


----------



## Guest

Ummmmm. Unicorn burgers..


----------



## arcticow

with bacon, cheese,


----------



## Raeven

and grilled onions


----------



## arcticow

on warmed rye.


----------



## Raeven

Elvis was pleased!


----------



## Guest

about unicorn donuts!!


----------



## Raeven

peanut butter icing


----------



## arcticow

on banana puddin'.


----------



## Raeven

weight gain commenced!


----------



## arcticow

Loud belching following...


----------



## Twp.Tom

endless laughter above


----------



## Raeven

the cheery campfire


----------



## Guest

like teen spirit


----------



## Raeven

oozing from pores.


----------



## Guest

While eating bacon,


----------



## Raeven

something strange began


----------



## Guest

like volcanic eruptions


----------



## Raeven

or terrible acne


----------



## Guest

cured by biofeedback


----------



## SimplerTimez

;exacerbated by P-90


----------



## Raeven

(new character, let's see if we can HANG ON TO A STORY LINE FOR AWHILE!!!!!!!)

Vince was grateful


----------



## Guest

for Stephen Hawking.


----------



## Jim-mi

Elvis loudly belched


----------



## Guest

at Vince's mom


----------



## Raeven

, who promptly shanked


----------



## SimplerTimez

Otis, Eva, Sito


----------



## Guest

to become queen


----------



## Raeven

thereby cleaning up


----------



## Jim-mi

Elvis britches split-open


----------



## SimplerTimez

, moon-pie stock rose


----------



## Guest

just a gigolo


----------



## Raeven

hastening Elvis's demise.


----------



## Guest

Good rid dance


----------



## Jim-mi

dance all night


----------



## SimplerTimez

Pole or salsa?


----------



## Jim-mi

the pole-ka ofcourse


----------



## arcticow

Hokey pokey insanely!!


----------



## arcticow

Now, a word


----------



## arcticow

from our sponsor...


----------



## Raeven

, who realized futility


----------



## Guest

While futilely realizing


----------



## Raeven

no profit in


----------



## Guest

hiring crackerjack addicts.


----------



## Jim-mi

without free prizes


----------



## Raeven

... though free prizes


----------



## arcticow

Elaine, opening her


----------



## arcticow

window one morning,


----------



## Raeven

spied a robin


----------



## arcticow

winching a worm


----------



## Raeven

... was it Egbert??


----------



## Jim-mi

Egbert look alike


----------



## Raeven

, name of Hawthorne,


----------



## Guest

from Tucumcari, liked


----------



## Raeven

sno-cones, bacon and


----------



## arcticow

old coffee grounds.


----------



## Jim-mi

with French sardines


----------



## arcticow

sardines from Brittany,


----------



## Jim-mi

on oval pizza's


----------



## arcticow

piled with truffles.


----------



## Jim-mi

Hawthorn gagged after


----------



## Raeven

one too many


----------



## Guest

girly faced cowboys.


----------



## Raeven

shared his truffles.


----------



## Guest

Truffled by injuries,


----------



## Raeven

sustained in long-ago


----------



## Guest

wars of resistance


----------



## Raeven

, Hawthorne moved forward


----------



## Jim-mi

among the bodies


----------



## Raeven

of uneaten sardines


----------



## arcticow

very odiferous task,


----------



## Jim-mi

but macho Hawthorn


----------



## arcticow

steeling himself, began


----------



## kentuckyhippie

playing the stockmarket


----------



## Guest

with monopoly money.


----------



## Raeven

Made his fortune!


----------



## Twp.Tom

of untold Millions*


----------



## Guest

in Zimbabwe money.....


----------



## arcticow

That's $1 U.S.


----------



## Jim-mi

Hawthorn poo-pooed liberals


----------



## SimplerTimez

showing his closedmindedness


----------



## Raeven

, snubbing his friends,


----------



## SimplerTimez

Elsa made Hawthorne


----------



## Raeven

into fish bait.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Chumming along was


----------



## Raeven

Percival, the moronic


----------



## SimplerTimez

garden gnome tipper


----------



## Raeven

, wildly unpopular among


----------



## Jim-mi

the bulging hippies


----------



## arcticow

Hippies or hips?!?


----------



## Twp.Tom

Far out man!


----------



## Jim-mi

pass the pipe


----------



## Twp.Tom

Edgar was high


----------



## Jim-mi

as a kite


----------



## arcticow

until morning came...


----------



## Jim-mi

Hawthorn uttered evil . .


----------



## Raeven

incantations, but he


----------



## Jim-mi

stuttered mid-way through


----------



## arcticow

, becoming a warthog!!


----------



## Jim-mi

with shocking-pink ears


----------



## arcticow

drooping down low,


----------



## bajiay

and a big


----------



## Jim-mi

ugly purple snout


----------



## arcticow

. Shaggy auburn hair


----------



## kentuckyhippie

a nose ring


----------



## Jim-mi

naturally--- pink bloomers


----------



## SimplerTimez

floated, drifting silently


----------



## arcticow

on the breeze.


----------



## SimplerTimez

After laundry day


----------



## Raeven

. Edgar prided himself


----------



## arcticow

on line drying.


----------



## SimplerTimez

<edit grumble edit>

Saving pennies for


----------



## arcticow

clothesline, of course.


----------



## Raeven

a Maytag heavy-duty


----------



## arcticow

solar clothes dryer.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Eva thought differently


----------



## Raeven

-- she dreamed of


----------



## arcticow

maids... many maids.


----------



## Raeven

But alas, alack --


----------



## arcticow

maids cost money...


----------



## Raeven

and Edgar was


----------



## arcticow

quite financially embarrassed,


----------



## Raeven

Sometimes Edgar dried


----------



## arcticow

berries for market,


----------



## Raeven

and wove baskets


----------



## Jim-mi

with chicken feathers


----------



## Raeven

-- wildly popular among


----------



## Jim-mi

the superupper crusted


----------



## Raeven

royal Nigerian princes


----------



## arcticow

a strange crowd,


----------



## Raeven

to be sure.


----------



## arcticow

Not usual princes,


----------



## Raeven

they required special


----------



## arcticow

royal dressing people.


----------



## Raeven

And kept aardvarks


----------



## arcticow

.Princesses envied them,


----------



## Raeven

(the aardvarks, not


----------



## arcticow

the foppish princes)


----------



## Jim-mi

Actually . . nobody cared


----------



## arcticow

A short story.


----------



## bajiay

Eggs for breakfast...


----------



## Jim-mi

with apple pancakes


----------



## arcticow

What's a ancake?


----------



## bajiay

forgot some ingredients...


----------



## arcticow

Who forgot P???


----------



## Jim-mi

I often P


----------



## Twp.Tom

during unusual moments


----------



## bajiay

like making ancakes


----------



## Twp.Tom

with a recipe


----------



## Jim-mi

for good stuff


----------



## Twp.Tom

requires proper ingredients


----------



## arcticow

which dwarvish cowboys


----------



## SimplerTimez

and midget cowgirls


----------



## arcticow

worked to provide.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Crafting stilts and


----------



## arcticow

riding fast ponies,


----------



## SimplerTimez

Shetlands of course.


----------



## Jim-mi

side saddle of-course


----------



## arcticow

Rough on cowboys,


----------



## Jim-mi

lassoing the pitbull


----------



## bajiay

yelling "Yee Ha!"


----------



## Jim-mi

in falsetto voices


----------



## arcticow

Beards and hats


----------



## Jim-mi

Elvis look alike's


----------



## bajiay

with jiggling hips...


----------



## arcticow

Bad mental image...


----------



## Jim-mi

hippy dippy doo


----------



## arcticow

Meanwhile, wild chickens


----------



## Twp.Tom

roamed the earth


----------



## Jim-mi

Zelda is hungry


----------



## arcticow

terrorizing bugs worldwide.


----------



## Jim-mi

for roaming chickens


----------



## arcticow

terrorizing chickens worldwide.


----------



## bajiay

I want chicken...


----------



## arcticow

Fried or baked?


----------



## Jim-mi

Zelda comes first


----------



## SimplerTimez

carrying misbehaving rooster


----------



## Jim-mi

to the pot


----------



## bajiay

Fried sounds good!!!


----------



## arcticow

Zelda-fried rooster!


----------



## bajiay

With mashed taters!


----------



## arcticow

Go eat something!


----------



## bajiay

I just did!


----------



## Jim-mi

Sardines and icecream . . . . . . . . .LOL


----------



## bajiay

Are you pregnated?  I'm not! YUCK!


----------



## Jim-mi

I love your reaction. . . . . .Yuck . . . . . . . .LOL


----------



## bajiay

Well it is!!!


----------



## Jim-mi

matter of opinion . . . . . . lol


----------



## bajiay

EWWWW!!! That actually gives me the willies! 
I'll eat the ice cream and you can have the sardines!

ohh...three words...forgot!!

no sardines thanks!!


----------



## Jim-mi

got you thinking . . . . . . . . .lol


----------



## bajiay

Not telling what!


----------



## arcticow

Back to storytime...


----------



## Jim-mi

Zelda is obnoxious


----------



## bajiay

To the point...


----------



## Bret

of being intoxicated


----------



## arcticow

. An obnoxious inebriate,


----------



## bajiay

drooling on himself...


----------



## Raeven

-----------------


----------



## Jim-mi

Didn't know Zelda had a sex change operation ???. . .


----------



## arcticow

Too many words...


----------



## kentuckyhippie

Zelda is gender-confused


----------



## arcticow

But which direction???


----------



## Jim-mi

Zelda sometimes wonders


----------



## Twp.Tom

Zelda's an 'it'


----------



## Jim-mi

"it" is disconsolate


----------



## arcticow

Anyone might be...


----------



## Raeven

but soldiered on.


----------



## arcticow

in a skirt.


----------



## Raeven

Zelda was heading


----------



## arcticow

down primrose paths


----------



## Raeven

heading apprehensively toward


----------



## arcticow

an uncertain future.


----------



## Raeven

Zelda worried most


----------



## arcticow

about purchasing underwear...


----------



## Raeven

and perfect armchairs


----------



## arcticow

...his or hers???


----------



## Raeven

Always the question.


----------



## arcticow

Decisions needed making...


----------



## Raeven

Zelda pondered hard.


----------



## arcticow

Fortunately, Eldridge was


----------



## Twp.Tom

compromising, and kind


----------



## bajiay

but he really...


----------



## Jim-mi

wanted more sex


----------



## arcticow

than Zelda was


----------



## Jim-mi

capable of comprehending


----------



## bajiay

maybe she wanted


----------



## Jim-mi

cherry pie instead


----------



## SimplerTimez

, oozing whipped cream.


----------



## Raeven

A strange choice,


----------



## SimplerTimez

considering all things


----------



## arcticow

she was experiencing.


----------



## Raeven

"My, what a


----------



## arcticow

strange world I


----------



## Raeven

leave behind!" she


----------



## arcticow

said postmortem, quietly...


----------



## Twp.Tom

she wandered off


----------



## arcticow

into the mist.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Meanwhile, Edgar was


----------



## arcticow

dispatched by Eldridge


----------



## SimplerTimez

over lackadaisical lyrics


----------



## Raeven

to build a


----------



## Twp.Tom

place for recreation


----------



## arcticow

bridge to tomorrow.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Floundering after three


----------



## Raeven

dirty gin martinis,


----------



## SimplerTimez

reruns of Oprah,


----------



## bajiay

oh not again!


----------



## Jim-mi

oh pipe down......


----------



## bajiay

no!


----------



## SimplerTimez

Really, why bother.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Really, why bother?


----------



## Raeven

Worth saying twice.


----------



## Jim-mi

not necessarily so


----------



## bajiay

back to Zelda...


----------



## Jim-mi

who is undecided


----------



## bajiay

about that giant


----------



## Raeven

honking psylocibin mushroom


----------



## Jim-mi

slice of applepie


----------



## bajiay

with ice cream!


----------



## Twp.Tom

everything became colorful


----------



## arcticow

before she died.


----------



## Jim-mi

they all cried


----------



## arcticow

wailing and keening


----------



## Jim-mi

except for hammer-toe-charlie


----------



## bajiay

who's busy picking


----------



## Raeven

out funeral clothes


----------



## Jim-mi

silk chartreuse leotard


----------



## Raeven

with puce tutu...


----------



## Jim-mi

greased down hair-doo


----------



## Raeven

a memorable look.


----------



## arcticow

especially the straightjacket!


----------



## Raeven

The funeral was


----------



## Jim-mi

dug by all


----------



## Raeven

-- a wonderful wake


----------



## arcticow

hangovers all around...


----------



## bajiay

How about breakfast?!?


----------



## Jim-mi

but not Esmeralda


----------



## Bret

one foot in


----------



## Twp.Tom

one foot out,


----------



## bajiay

shake it all


----------



## Twp.Tom

about,do the..


----------



## bajiay

dirty pokey and


----------



## Twp.Tom

you turn yourself..


----------



## bajiay

ha ha! you didn't catch that...ok...

about, that's what...


----------



## Jim-mi

dirty pokey . . indeed


----------



## SimplerTimez

Hokey Pokey aside,


----------



## Jim-mi

Noodleheads all need..


----------



## vicker

Thai fish sauce


----------



## Jim-mi

thats firecracker hot


----------



## Twp.Tom

burn your bean


----------



## arcticow

with green curry.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Scents wafting deliciously


----------



## arcticow

coconut cream to


----------



## vicker

moisturize your elbows


----------



## SimplerTimez

and your dreadlocks,


----------



## bajiay

don't forget heels!


----------



## Jim-mi

But I'm barefoots


----------



## bajiay

just like usual!


----------



## SimplerTimez

Teetering on stilettos,


----------



## Jim-mi

on my back


----------



## Jim-mi

honey . . that hurts


----------



## SimplerTimez

Story has changed...


----------



## Twp.Tom

Meanwhile, back home;


----------



## arcticow

Granny's still worked


----------



## Jim-mi

the old still


----------



## arcticow

dripping high grade


----------



## bajiay

cough syrup, yeah!


----------



## Jim-mi

diabolical cough syrup


----------



## Raeven

, made with arsenic


----------



## Twp.Tom

and poisoned, unknowingly


----------



## Raeven

the entire population


----------



## bajiay

of pesky groundhogs


----------



## Jim-mi

a calamitous event


----------



## SimplerTimez

- joyous for gardeners!


----------



## Jim-mi

wanting more tomatoes


----------



## arcticow

For SHAME, murderers!!!


----------



## Twp.Tom

their punishment,swift!


----------



## bajiay

Feeling bad about


----------



## arcticow

groundhog ghosts haunting


----------



## bajiay

They're going to


----------



## Raeven

make life miserable.


----------



## Jim-mi

they already have


----------



## Raeven

... more miserable still.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Les Miserable still?


----------



## bajiay

Haha! Funny!


----------



## arcticow

The still exploded!!!


----------



## Jim-mi

Who's at-the-still. . ??


----------



## Raeven

Sticky cough syrup


----------



## arcticow

got into everything.


----------



## Jim-mi

pot lickin good


----------



## bajiay

darn groundhogs!


----------



## Jim-mi

boiled groundhog snouts


----------



## arcticow

Soft, unworldly music


----------



## Raeven

haunted the kitchen


----------



## arcticow

. Unearthly lights glimmered


----------



## Jim-mi

dust bin cabinet


----------



## Raeven

... onions were chopped,


----------



## arcticow

Eating arsenic-killed groundhog?


----------



## Jim-mi

garlic was mashed


----------



## Raeven

Consumers are stupid.


----------



## Twp.Tom

it wasn't clear


----------



## Jim-mi

as mud about


----------



## Twp.Tom

made a mess


----------



## bajiay

you always are!


----------



## Twp.Tom

right on time!


----------



## bajiay

Where's Zelda at?


----------



## arcticow

She is dead!


----------



## bajiay

Oh I forgot!!!


----------



## Raeven

Keep up, please!


----------



## arcticow

Whoah there, mules!


----------



## Twp.Tom

but I've fallen..


----------



## arcticow

Mules are stopped.


----------



## Twp.Tom

its break time


----------



## Jim-mi

who says so


----------



## Twp.Tom

the union boss


----------



## bajiay

darn union anyway!


----------



## Twp.Tom

too many concessions


----------



## Jim-mi

union is banneD


----------



## bajiay

wrong thread Jim-mi!


----------



## Jim-mi

but it applies


----------



## bajiay

Had to say...


----------



## arcticow

All right mules, git up there.


----------



## Jim-mi

. . . . . . . . NO . . . .Not yet


----------



## arcticow

Daylight, dusty red,


----------



## Jim-mi

I wont go. . . . . . .


----------



## Twp.Tom

to Michigan state


----------



## bajiay

or Ohio State!


----------



## Jim-mi

Them-is fighting words . . . .


----------



## arcticow

Heat mirages shimmered


----------



## Jim-mi

above oHIo stadium


----------



## arcticow

as camels shuffled


----------



## Jim-mi

fro and too


----------



## arcticow

Minnesota cheerleaders grazed


----------



## Raeven

while mooing plaintively


----------



## Twp.Tom

at the buckeye


----------



## Jim-mi

being taken down


----------



## Twp.Tom

to ann arbor


----------



## Jim-mi

by East Lansing


----------



## Twp.Tom

to pound wolverines!


----------



## Jim-mi

and we did


----------



## arcticow

Arrows rained down


----------



## Twp.Tom

defeat, was certain


----------



## SimplerTimez

in final moments


----------



## Twp.Tom

the winning score!


----------



## Raeven

... everyone a loser.


----------



## bajiay

Full scholarship there...


----------



## SimplerTimez

Underwater basket-weaving perhaps?


----------



## Twp.Tom

making me cry


----------



## Raeven

... this story died.


----------



## Raeven

Once there was


----------



## SimplerTimez

a thread akilter


----------



## Twp.Tom

everyone joined in


----------



## Raeven

, writing a story.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Breaking new ground


----------



## Twp.Tom

creativity was flowing


----------



## Raeven

badly, badly needed!!


----------



## Jim-mi

pontification was rampant


----------



## SimplerTimez

along with moxie


----------



## Twp.Tom

would it suffice?


----------



## Raeven

Soon, we'll see.


----------



## Twp.Tom

The Astronomers, agreed..


----------



## Raeven

aliens were coming.


----------



## Jim-mi

down the chimney


----------



## Raeven

, scaring small children


----------



## Twp.Tom

no conscience whatsoever


----------



## Raeven

. One laughed snarkily.


----------



## Twp.Tom

the others,annoyed


----------



## Raeven

, slapped her hard.


----------



## Twp.Tom

She retaliated swiftly


----------



## Raeven

, a well-placed tentacle


----------



## Twp.Tom

gauged his eyeball


----------



## arcticow

Grief!!! Aliens again!!


----------



## bajiay

Hide the sauce!


----------



## Jim-mi

sauce induced hysterics


----------



## bajiay

peed my pants!


----------



## Jim-mi

shame on you


----------



## bajiay

laughed too hard!


----------



## Jim-mi

Zombies don't laugh . .


----------



## arcticow

Die zombies, aliens!


----------



## bajiay

yeah, good riddance!


----------



## solsikkefarms

You, me, bow-chic-a-wow-wow!


----------



## bajiay

Um...wrong thread!


----------



## solsikkefarms

Best story ever!


----------



## bajiay

Go to work!


----------



## solsikkefarms

cant make me...


----------



## arcticow

Kids, behave yourselves...


----------



## Raeven

You know, I used to love this thread. I must have; I made over 1,000 contributions to it. It was fun. But now? Not so much. There is a natural ending to all things, and maybe this thread has come to one.

I didnât ask the Mods to shut it down some time ago is because of the number of PMs Iâve received over the months from folks saying how much theyâve enjoyed the thread and how it has sometimes been the best laugh someone had all day. I smiled when I heard that. A decent number of forum members enjoyed contributing to it, too, back when. But now they feel the concept has become so lost, thereâs no longer any point. I agree.

The idea is to contribute three words that add to a total story being told. Itâs nice if you can think about the three words that someone just contributed, add three words to enhance what they said, and consider what might come after, to give the next person a chance at adding something fun. Itâs disheartening when someone wants to derail the thread just because they feel like it, ruining it for everyone else who is trying hard to play by the roolz.

If the choice is to continue: Donât be selfish. This isnât a story about you, or a place to just string three words together, or indulge in free word association. If the idea of this thread doesnât appeal to you, thatâs ok â no oneâs requiring you to contribute. Of course sometimes comments will be made and thatâs no big deal, but how about we make those parenthetically (like this) and then contribute the next three words? That worked great when it started out.

Or has the idea simply run its course, and we should let the thread die the undignified end to which it is richly entitled?

Either way, it will be a change for the better. Comments and thoughts welcome.


----------



## arcticow

Hear ye all!!!


----------



## Tommyice

[youtube]N5-thpEU-MQ[/youtube]


----------



## Jim-mi

(hand cupped to ear) . . .we is listening


----------



## Raeven

LOL, Leslie... awwwww!!! Say it ain't so!!!


----------



## Twp.Tom

Edgar has gone?


----------



## Jim-mi

in the cave


----------



## Twp.Tom

thinking of ideas


----------



## Raeven

for new adventures.


----------



## Twp.Tom

I am Sad*


----------



## Raeven

So we're agreed, we want to carry on? And Edgar lives to see another day?


----------



## Tommyice

Sad? Death isn't


----------



## Tommyice

~~ Rae--jinx. you owe me a beer.


----------



## Raeven

Can't wait to buy it for ya, sisstaahh.


----------



## Twp.Tom

Once upon a..


----------



## Raeven

time, Edgar pondered


----------



## Twp.Tom

why he Loved


----------



## Tommyice

to roam free.


----------



## Raeven

throughout the Southwest


----------



## Jim-mi

picking up snakes


----------



## Raeven

for strange rituals


----------



## Jim-mi

mind over matter


----------



## Raeven

-- possible untimely death.


----------



## Twp.Tom

Edgar held council


----------



## Raeven

, nose held high


----------



## Jim-mi

to much laughter


----------



## Raeven

-- looking terribly silly!


----------



## Jim-mi

with pink bow-tie


----------



## Twp.Tom

in his attire;


----------



## Raeven

snout twitching frantically


----------



## Jim-mi

tail thumping constantly


----------



## Raeven

-- high-pitched cries emitting


----------



## Jim-mi

and nobody listened


----------



## Raeven

until Gertrude, his


----------



## Twp.Tom

partner in crime


----------



## Raeven

stumbled past him.


----------



## Twp.Tom

on her way..


----------



## Raeven

to Mardi Gras.


----------



## vicker

She needed beads,


----------



## Raeven

doubloons and feathers


----------



## vicker

and a fix.


----------



## Raeven

Shimmying with deliberation,


----------



## vicker

and lusty anticipation


----------



## Raeven

, she shamelessly cavorted


----------



## vicker

with drunken plebs.


----------



## Raeven

Edgar felt nauseated


----------



## vicker

watching her gyrating


----------



## Raeven

like cheap goods


----------



## vicker

on bobbing junks.


----------



## Raeven

"Why, you shameless


----------



## vicker

drunk", Gertrude said,


----------



## Raeven

"How dare you


----------



## Jim-mi

soil my character


----------



## arcticow

judge me, when


----------



## Jim-mi

I stink less


----------



## arcticow

The dark ship


----------



## Jim-mi

sailed at dawn


----------



## Raeven

to unknown destinations.


----------



## Tommyice

Edgar stood at


----------



## arcticow

the starboard rail


----------



## Jim-mi

the helm . .alone


----------



## Raeven

Quite a trick!


----------



## arcticow

Edgar, being ambidextrous,


----------



## Raeven

and rather magical,


----------



## arcticow

did this beautifully.


----------



## Jim-mi

liked the fantail


----------



## arcticow

pigeon flying alongside.


----------



## Raeven

Edgar wondered uneasily


----------



## Jim-mi

flying poop machines


----------



## Raeven

would unleash their


----------



## Jim-mi

darn white stuff


----------



## Tommyice

. The ominous sky


----------



## Raeven

foretold dubious fates.


----------



## Tommyice

~~jinx--that's two beers Rae~~


----------



## Raeven

(<tuneless whistle...> I don't know WHAT you're talking about!!)


----------



## Jim-mi

the aproaching huricane


----------



## Raeven

bore down speedily


----------



## Jim-mi

on the Sanpan


----------



## arcticow

Tied to the helm,


----------



## Tommyice

Gertrude screamed incessantly.


----------



## notwyse

Therefore providing voice


----------



## arcticow

Edgar slapped her,


----------



## Jim-mi

up-side the head


----------



## Raeven

"Get a grip!"


----------



## arcticow

he bellowed hoarsely!


----------



## Raeven

"Grab an oar


----------



## arcticow

and row, woman!"


----------



## Raeven

Gertrude hiccuped and


----------



## arcticow

stifled a sob.


----------



## Raeven

Rowing mightily, she


----------



## Twp.Tom

Maneuvered the vessel


----------



## Tommyice

toward the shore.


----------



## arcticow

Cracking shore ice,


----------



## Tommyice

bumped the boat


----------



## arcticow

onto frozen sand.


----------



## Raeven

"Where are we??"


----------



## Twp.Tom

Disoriented, they continued


----------



## Jim-mi

down memory lane


----------



## Twp.Tom

the journey, 'surreal',


----------



## Raeven

now in Rainbowland.


----------



## Twp.Tom

Colorful flowers appeared


----------



## arcticow

, very small people


----------



## Twp.Tom

A psychedelic scene


----------



## Jim-mi

of blissful ignorance


----------



## arcticow

in perpetual summer.


----------



## Raeven

Alas, no gold.


----------



## notwyse

But diamonds aplenty


----------



## arcticow

Wielding Brigid's staff,


----------



## Jim-mi

of mossy oak


----------



## arcticow

her granddaughter strode


----------



## notwyse

And took control


----------



## Jim-mi

of the ant-hill


----------



## arcticow

Brigid was taller...


----------



## Jim-mi

than her coffee-pot


----------



## notwyse

And prefers tea


----------



## Twp.Tom

to stimulate her


----------



## bajiay

mind before 10am


----------



## Raeven

Thus fortified, she


----------



## Twp.Tom

was completely prepared


----------



## Jim-mi

to shark fish


----------



## notwyse

With the lawyers


----------



## Jim-mi

for absent minds


----------



## Raeven

, preparing her case.


----------



## Jim-mi

against the uni-corns


----------



## solsikkefarms

for their treason


----------



## Jim-mi

and burnt toast


----------



## notwyse

Without any jelly


----------



## Jim-mi

and wormy potatoes


----------



## arcticow

, breakfast of champions...


----------



## Raeven

Holding her breath,


----------



## Jim-mi

down the hatch


----------



## Raeven

went daily medication


----------



## Jim-mi

of bug juice


----------



## Raeven

and Oxycontin


----------



## Jim-mi

her absolute downfall


----------



## Twp.Tom

into the abyss


----------



## Raeven

of jury trials.


----------



## Twp.Tom

Meanwhile, the Judge


----------



## Jim-mi

in corrupt courts


----------



## Twp.Tom

Pocketed the cash


----------



## Raeven

, hightailing it to


----------



## Twp.Tom

His mountain hideaway.


----------



## notwyse

To watch tv


----------



## arcticow

, paint his toenails,


----------



## Jim-mi

and eat sardines


----------



## bajiay

and eat chocolate!


----------



## arcticow

Extreme insomnia followed.


----------



## bajiay

sardines created nausea! EWWW!!!


----------



## arcticow

Bleary-eyed and thirsty,


----------



## Jim-mi

she ate pizza


----------



## bajiay

after sardines & chocolate?!?


----------



## arcticow

Raging thirst tortured


----------



## Jim-mi

her bountiful adams-apple


----------



## arcticow

. Swilling birch beer,


----------



## Jim-mi

and fermented prunes


----------



## arcticow

led nowhere pleasant.


----------



## Jim-mi

singing naughty songs


----------



## bajiay

only you would


----------



## Raeven

(Who is "you"????)



Jim-mi said:


> singing naughty songs


And belching copiously.


----------



## Twp.Tom

the illness ensued,


----------



## Raeven

predictably and messily,


----------



## Twp.Tom

the plan unfolded


----------



## Raeven

in awkward fashion.


----------



## Twp.Tom

Everyone was waiting


----------



## Raeven

-- Edgar peeked in


----------



## Twp.Tom

his eyes awakened;


----------



## bajiay

(Jim-mi is "you"...he's a dirty old man!)


----------



## Raeven

Twp.Tom said:


> his eyes awakened;


rather bleary, yet


----------



## Twp.Tom

he focused intently


----------



## Raeven

. His whiskers twitched


----------



## Twp.Tom

his nose wiggled,


----------



## Raeven

eating Jolly Ranchers


----------



## Twp.Tom

puckered, and sour


----------



## Raeven

... like his paws.


----------



## Twp.Tom

Edgar trudged onward


----------



## Raeven

, feeling his age,


----------



## Twp.Tom

he stumbled occasionally


----------



## Raeven

, ignoring broken bones


----------



## Twp.Tom

on his quest.


----------



## bajiay

He looked up


----------



## Twp.Tom

towards the heavens


----------



## bajiay

to see that


----------



## arcticow

lovely fat worms


----------



## Raeven

answered his prayers.


----------



## arcticow

Greedily plucking breakfast,


----------



## Raeven

hearty worm fricassee!


----------



## arcticow

Tabasco to taste...


----------



## Raeven

tasted like chicken.


----------



## arcticow

Hot buttered grits


----------



## Raeven

were sadly missing.


----------



## arcticow

Toothpick in paw,


----------



## Jim-mi

cleaned his choppers


----------



## Raeven

, but didn't floss.


----------



## Jim-mi

plucked his eye-brows


----------



## Raeven

cinched his girdle,


----------



## arcticow

and tottered away.


----------



## Raeven

He headed to


----------



## arcticow

his new tunnel


----------



## Raeven

, which required decorating.


----------



## arcticow

Blue taffeta swags


----------



## Raeven

... sooooooo mid-2000s, plus


----------



## arcticow

mosaic wall tiles


----------



## Raeven

, cheap wood paneling


----------



## arcticow

a mole's mansion.


----------



## Guest

with internet access..


----------



## arcticow

and cable, too.


----------



## Jim-mi

Grubs for lunch


----------



## Twp.Tom

by the poolside.


----------



## arcticow

. Gathering his foremen,


----------



## Jim-mi

by the shirt-tail


----------



## Jim-mi

they burrowed into


----------



## arcticow

the middle of


----------



## kentuckyhippie

Gretchen's concrete bunker
(lets throw in a new character lol)


----------



## Jim-mi

Gretchen is pi**ed-off


----------



## Raeven

. She was sleeping


----------



## Jim-mi

at High noon


----------



## Raeven

, lazy like that...


----------



## Twp.Tom

she needed stimulation.


----------



## Raeven

Edgar wasn't it.


----------



## Twp.Tom

She began searching..


----------



## Raeven

, starting in Biloxi.


----------



## arcticow

Onward to Nacogdoches...


----------



## Jim-mi

Off to Engadine


----------



## arcticow

Back to Natchitoches...


----------



## Raeven

Try somewhere better?


----------



## arcticow

Wintering in Pascagoula,


----------



## Raeven

Gretchen despaired of


----------



## Jim-mi

an empty bed


----------



## Raeven

, excessively long leghair


----------



## Twp.Tom

,and a mustache.


----------



## Raeven

Getting old sucked.


----------



## Twp.Tom

Gretchen was bewildered


----------



## arcticow

... Where was her


----------



## Raeven

rodeo ******* Romeo?


----------



## Twp.Tom

Gretchen's heart ached..


----------



## Jim-mi

for chocolate dognuts


----------



## bajiay

and pink lemonade


----------



## Jim-mi

with two Olives


----------



## bajiay

don't forget sardines!


----------



## Jim-mi

beat me to-it


----------



## bajiay

While she ate...


----------



## Jim-mi

Gretchen dug down


----------



## Twp.Tom

in her pockets..


----------



## Jim-mi

for a joint


----------



## Twp.Tom

,lit it up,


----------



## Jim-mi

with a flint


----------



## Twp.Tom

she was 'busted'!.


----------



## notwyse

But not broken


----------



## Raeven

... only nearly so.


----------



## notwyse

Lucky for her


----------



## Raeven

, Gordon happened along.


----------



## notwyse

He never smoked


----------



## Raeven

anything but salmon


----------



## Twp.Tom

,and occasionally sausage.


----------



## Jim-mi

(Beaver tail sausage)


----------



## Raeven

But Gordon also


----------



## Twp.Tom

valued Gretchen's frienship


----------



## Raeven

, despite her drug


----------



## Twp.Tom

and alcohol problem.


----------



## Raeven

She wrote songs


----------



## notwyse

And bewitched children


----------



## Raeven

(tasty for lunch)


----------



## notwyse

Or a snack


----------



## Raeven

. Cackling was problematic,


----------



## Twp.Tom

in the henhouse


----------



## Raeven

, because no rooster


----------



## Twp.Tom

would guard them.


----------



## Raeven

Hens need roosters...


----------



## Twp.Tom

for perpetual chicks


----------



## Raeven

and henhouse harmony.


----------



## Twp.Tom

Gordon was lonesome


----------



## Raeven

... Gretchen's dainty wrists


----------



## Jim-mi

Which came first ???


----------



## Raeven

Gordon didn't care.


----------



## Jim-mi

yes he did


----------



## Twp.Tom

Confusion overtook them


----------



## Raeven

Gretchen, easily confused,


----------



## Twp.Tom

took the lead


----------



## Raeven

... Gordon followed hesitantly.


----------



## Twp.Tom

Gordon trusted Gretchen..


----------



## Raeven

but only marginally.


----------



## bajiay

but he shouldn't


----------



## Twp.Tom

That Gretchen's sneaky


----------



## Raeven

ways were trouble.


----------



## notwyse

Shameless as spring


----------



## Raeven

, bouncy as a


----------



## Jim-mi

brown paper bag


----------



## Twp.Tom

.She lured Gordon..


----------



## Jim-mi

into the burrow


----------



## Twp.Tom

for illicit activity


----------



## bajiay

oh! Don't look!


----------



## Bret

He said blindly


----------



## notwyse

Braille is best


----------



## Raeven

in such matters.


----------



## Twp.Tom

Their imagination waned


----------



## Raeven

-- what a shame!!


----------



## Twp.Tom

How could they..


----------



## Bret

Sign so loud!


----------



## Jim-mi

just like magic . . . . . . .


----------



## Raeven

... a powerful conversation.


----------



## Jim-mi

wafted from the


----------



## notwyse

Things not said


----------



## Twp.Tom

but only seen


----------



## Jim-mi

at the buffet


----------



## Raeven

with dancing cockroaches


----------



## notwyse

With their fingers


----------



## Jim-mi

and gargantuan toes


----------



## SimplerTimez

,tinted with pastels


----------



## Twp.Tom

,singing the chorus


----------



## SimplerTimez

from "Les Miserables"


----------



## Twp.Tom

in perfect harmony!


----------



## Raeven

Perhaps slightly flat...


----------



## SimplerTimez

due to flyswatter.


----------



## Raeven

ANYWAY, Gretchen licked


----------



## Twp.Tom

Gordons belly button


----------



## Raeven

"Mmmm, linty-fresh!!" she


----------



## Twp.Tom

licked it again


----------



## Raeven

, causing Gordon to


----------



## Twp.Tom

become very aroused!


----------



## Raeven

Being a gentleman,


----------



## Twp.Tom

Gordon remained celebate


----------



## Raeven

... Gretchen danced away.


----------



## Twp.Tom

No connection made,


----------



## Raeven

which ultimately led


----------



## Twp.Tom

To Gordon crying.


----------



## Jim-mi

me a river


----------



## bajiay

sob sob sob...


----------



## Jim-mi

Along came Matilda . . . . . . .


----------



## Raeven

she shook her


----------



## Twp.Tom

finger at them


----------



## Raeven

"Behave yourselves!" she


----------



## Jim-mi

uttered in french


----------



## Twp.Tom

over and over


----------



## Raeven

-- it sounded nice!


----------



## Twp.Tom

,looked even better!


----------



## Jim-mi

But . . . .was it ???


----------



## Twp.Tom

Matilda was genuine..


----------



## Jim-mi

not fully sure


----------



## Raeven

of what was


----------



## Jim-mi

ready to happen


----------



## Raeven

. Feelings of dread


----------



## Twp.Tom

and impending doom


----------



## Jim-mi

permeate the onlookers


----------



## Twp.Tom

beginning to congregate


----------



## Jim-mi

under the woodpile


----------



## Raeven

, hoping for cabaret.


----------



## Jim-mi

style pole "dancing"


----------



## Raeven

-- tricky, with barber-pole --


----------



## Jim-mi

dizzy dizzy roundy


----------



## SimplerTimez

but graceful nonetheless.


----------



## bajiay

Here we go...


----------



## Twp.Tom

,said Shelby Stanga!


----------



## Jim-mi

Shelby was naked


----------



## kentuckyhippie

except for tattoos


----------



## Raeven

, which didn't help.


----------



## Jim-mi

very unsightly stuff


----------



## Raeven

, especially the depiction


----------



## Jim-mi

Extremely poor taste


----------



## Twp.Tom

and seriously uncouth!


----------



## Jim-mi

need for redemption


----------



## Raeven

or complete abandonment.


----------



## Jim-mi

spare no costs


----------



## Jim-mi

at reviving Jumbo


----------



## Raeven

, the wandering Pomeranian.


----------



## Twp.Tom

Jumbo was exceptional


----------



## Jim-mi

way ahead of


----------



## Raeven

the average mutt,


----------



## SimplerTimez

sporting trimmed dew-claws


----------



## Raeven

, fashionably, neatly groomed


----------



## Twp.Tom

in his bibs


----------



## SimplerTimez

and straw Fedora.


----------



## Raeven

Jumbo wanted to


----------



## SimplerTimez

knit a throw


----------



## Raeven

for his beloved


----------



## Jim-mi

beloved Boxer buddy


----------



## Twp.Tom

,Alexis, from Texas*


----------



## Raeven

, pals from puppyhood.


----------



## Twp.Tom

Alexis, was intrigued


----------



## Raeven

, watching Jumbo knit


----------



## Twp.Tom

the elaborate garment


----------



## Raeven

intended for her!


----------



## Twp.Tom

,exclusively, for dates*.


----------



## Jim-mi

behind the barn


----------



## Twp.Tom

on Saturday nights.


----------



## Jim-mi

with full moon


----------



## Raeven

and twinkly stars


----------



## Jim-mi

ain't love grand


----------



## Raeven

, sighed Alexis, giddily.


----------



## Twp.Tom

The Weekend began...


----------



## Raeven

she frisked happily


----------



## Twp.Tom

while skipping along


----------



## Raeven

, dreaming of treats


----------



## Twp.Tom

she would share


----------



## Raeven

with knitting Jumbo.


----------



## Twp.Tom

The couple dreamed..


----------



## Raeven

of fantasy doghouses


----------



## Jim-mi

with solar heating


----------



## Raeven

fancy, fussy chandeliers,


----------



## Jim-mi

his-an-her dogbones


----------



## Raeven

, side-by-side doggie beds,


----------



## Twp.Tom

doggie hot tub,


----------



## Raeven

automatic dog walkers,


----------



## Twp.Tom

piddle, picker, upper,


----------



## Raeven

a canine castle!!


----------



## Twp.Tom

Their Lives enriched..


----------



## Raeven

Jumbo began building


----------



## Twp.Tom

a significant addition


----------



## Raeven

to the ballroom,


----------



## Twp.Tom

very Victorian, Ornate


----------



## Raeven

, so their friends


----------



## Twp.Tom

would have entertainment


----------



## Raeven

-- a place to


----------



## Twp.Tom

waltz all night


----------



## Raeven

and party like


----------



## bajiay

it's 1999! Again!!


----------



## Twp.Tom

Jumbo encountered obstacles


----------



## Jim-mi

gold-plated pooper scooper


----------



## Raeven

was sold to


----------



## Tommyice

a reluctant collector.


----------



## Raeven

who nonetheless paid


----------



## Twp.Tom

an exorbitant price


----------



## Raeven

wondering exactly why.


----------



## Tommyice

Who would use


----------



## Raeven

such a charming


----------



## Tommyice

instrument for poop?


----------



## Raeven

MUCH better suited


----------



## Tommyice

,after thoroughly cleaning,


----------



## Raeven

for measuring flour

(eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)


----------



## Jim-mi

or chocolate chips


----------



## Raeven

or even coffee...


----------



## Tommyice

But everything tastes


----------



## Raeven

a little crappy


----------



## Twp.Tom

in a bucket


----------



## Raeven

with no seasoning.


----------



## Twp.Tom

Fingerfood was mentioned


----------



## Raeven

and quickly dismissed


----------



## Twp.Tom

very bad timing


----------



## Raeven

when considering the


----------



## Twp.Tom

the current storyline


----------



## Raeven

. Jumbo and Alexis


----------



## Twp.Tom

contemplated their situation


----------



## Raeven

, regretfully deciding that


----------



## Twp.Tom

they should part


----------



## bajiay

ways for a


----------



## Raeven

time. Jumbo cried.


----------



## Tommyice

Alexis hugged Jumbo.


----------



## Raeven

Who wiped his


----------



## Tommyice

on his sleeve.


----------



## Raeven

Nose, that is.


----------



## Twp.Tom

Jumbo Loved her


----------



## Raeven

, body and soul,


----------



## Twp.Tom

They'd been together


----------



## Raeven

for ten minutes


----------



## Twp.Tom

kissing, and hugging


----------



## Raeven

, overjoyed to be


----------



## Twp.Tom

stoned in Love*


----------



## Raeven

But disharmony lurked


----------



## Twp.Tom

behind closed doors


----------



## Raeven

... Jumbo suffered from


----------



## Twp.Tom

alcoholism, and addictions


----------



## Raeven

, which Alexis bore


----------



## Twp.Tom

To her dismay.


----------



## Jim-mi

puppys soon due


----------



## Raeven

... barefoot and pregnant...


----------



## Tommyice

She oriented westward


----------



## Raeven

, facing toward Winnemucca,


----------



## Tommyice

and awaited delivery.


----------



## Jim-mi

of apple tarts


----------



## Raeven

from the pie


----------



## Jim-mi

factory down state


----------



## Tommyice

located in downtown


----------



## Raeven

Elko, Nevada. She


----------



## bajiay

had never been


----------



## Raeven

there, but she


----------



## Twp.Tom

had friends nearby*


----------



## Jim-mi

who like sardines


----------



## Raeven

and playing checkers.


----------



## Twp.Tom

Together, they would.....


----------



## Raeven

pull nasty pranks


----------



## Twp.Tom

On doggie troublemakers!


----------



## Jim-mi

with butt bites


----------



## Twp.Tom

and ankle nip's


----------



## Raeven

-- much hilarity ensued!


----------



## Twp.Tom

exhausted, they collapsed


----------



## Jim-mi

into the sawdust


----------



## Twp.Tom

,hearts beating wildly


----------



## bajiay

into a pile


----------



## Twp.Tom

,they were finished!


----------



## Tommyice

a pie eater,


----------



## Jim-mi

named bajjiiay won


----------



## Raeven

the contest for


----------



## Twp.Tom

Prettiest Pooch Personality


----------



## Jim-mi

for Pestered Pets


----------



## SimplerTimez

Sporting her ribbon,


----------



## Raeven

coyly fluttering lashes,


----------



## SimplerTimez

she suddenly tripped!


----------



## Raeven

fell down stairs,


----------



## Tommyice

ripping her ribbon


----------



## Jim-mi

into the poo-bucket


----------



## bajiay

Two left feet!!!


----------



## Raeven

She felt ashamed


----------



## Tommyice

and embarrassed that


----------



## Raeven

she reeked of


----------



## Tommyice

Choward's Violet Gum.


----------



## Raeven

(LOL, AWESOME!!!)

Donning fresh ribbons,


----------



## Jim-mi

of carrot greens


----------



## Raeven

with cha-cha earrings,


----------



## Jim-mi

one strap tu-tu's


----------



## Tommyice

and ruby-red slippers*.*


----------



## SimplerTimez

Fashion police, in


----------



## Jim-mi

hot pursuit with


----------



## Raeven

clown shoes impeding


----------



## Jim-mi

max speed limits


----------



## SimplerTimez

,while shaking tambourines


----------



## bajiay

and yodeling loudly...


----------



## Jim-mi

in halting Arabic


----------



## Raeven

. They were conspicuous


----------



## Jim-mi

for their lunacy


----------



## Raeven

Bajiay avoided them


----------



## bajiay

I was smart!


----------



## Jim-mi

Tell The Truth . . . . . . . .


----------



## Raeven

intoned Alexis, sternly.


----------



## Jim-mi

no one listened............


----------



## Twp.Tom

to the megaphone


----------



## Jim-mi

Alexis stomped her-feets


----------



## Twp.Tom

a tantrum ensued


----------



## Jim-mi

the onlookers giggled


----------



## Raeven

, snorted and smirked


----------



## Jim-mi

doing the hookie-pookie


----------



## Twp.Tom

in tight leotards


----------



## Raeven

, not very enticing.


----------



## Jim-mi

major turn off


----------



## Twp.Tom

for those awaiting


----------



## Jim-mi

an ice-cream cone


----------



## Raeven

from unknown benefactors.


----------



## Jim-mi

who crave hemp


----------



## Raeven

to knit scarves


----------



## Jim-mi

and uber-strong rope


----------



## Twp.Tom

for a zipline!


----------



## Raeven

Jumbo and Alexis


----------



## Jim-mi

were "dog" tired


----------



## Jim-mi

but super horny


----------



## Raeven

,wearing reindeer horns (  )


----------



## Jim-mi

exceedingly strange outfits


----------



## SimplerTimez

for the pair.


----------



## Jim-mi

of renegade mutts


----------



## SimplerTimez

.They didn't care


----------



## Raeven

what anyone thought


----------



## SimplerTimez

'bout their duds


----------



## Raeven

... dancing under stars


----------



## SimplerTimez

. Later that night


----------



## Raeven

as campfires dimmed


----------



## SimplerTimez

, and coyotes harmonized


----------



## Raeven

while playing pinochle


----------



## SimplerTimez

and beer pong.


----------



## Raeven

Soon, bawdy tales


----------



## SimplerTimez

were whispered surreptitiously


----------



## Raeven

with great relish


----------



## SimplerTimez

; naysayers in cahoots


----------



## Raeven

to silence them.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Unbeknownst to many


----------



## Raeven

, the coyotes conspired


----------



## Jim-mi

for doggie dinner


----------



## SimplerTimez

AKA chicken snacks


----------



## Jim-mi

Stink Burger Deluxe


----------



## InTownForNow

What's that noise?"


----------



## Raeven

asked Alexis, apprehensively.

(Alliteration for free!)


----------



## Jaclynne

Eyes growing large,


----------



## Raeven

Jumbo frowned ferociously


----------



## Jim-mi

and grumbled nonsense


----------



## Raeven

, hoping against hope


----------



## Jim-mi

looking for worms


----------



## bajiay

but eating sardines


----------



## Jim-mi

with tuttie-friuty icecream


----------



## Raeven

, hoping the intruders


----------



## Jim-mi

were not Dalmations


----------



## Raeven

, but poodles instead.


----------



## Jim-mi

Jumbo started stalking


----------



## Jaclynne

Shadow to shadow


----------



## Jim-mi

sniffing for blood


----------



## Raeven

, shivering with bravado


----------



## Jim-mi

bound and determined . . .


----------



## Jaclynne

to look brave


----------



## Raeven

despite teeth-chattering


----------



## vicker

Ritalin withdrawal symptoms,


----------



## Jim-mi

Jumbo is queasy


----------



## Jaclynne

, probably the stinkburger


----------



## Jim-mi

damnation . . . . . . . . . .pressing on


----------



## Raeven

, stifling predictable nausea


----------



## SimplerTimez

, teeth in hand


----------



## Raeven

, he soldiered on.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Alexis coughed nervously,


----------



## Raeven

startling the Dalmations!


----------



## Jim-mi

into covert action


----------



## Raeven

, a spotty revolution


----------



## Tommyice

Ugh! someone groaned.


----------



## Raeven

With Cruella irony,


----------



## Tommyice

a DeVille arrived.


----------



## Raeven

Pongo showed up


----------



## Jim-mi

to Regina's surprise


----------



## Raeven

and Jumbo's dismay


----------



## Jim-mi

too much competition


----------



## Raeven

... Alexis thought, "What


----------



## Jim-mi

will happen now


----------



## Raeven

? Jumbo is drunk,


----------



## SimplerTimez

on homemade 'shine


----------



## Raeven

and fine wine


----------



## SimplerTimez

. Alexis sniffed daintily


----------



## Raeven

, wanting a taste


----------



## SimplerTimez

of baked Brie


----------



## Raeven

while Jumbo snored


----------



## SimplerTimez

, faintly exhaling limburger.


----------



## Jim-mi

oh whata stink


----------



## bajiay

smelled like Jim-mi


----------



## Jim-mi

"No Stink Zone"


----------



## Raeven

Alexis moved to


----------



## Jim-mi

some fresh air


----------



## Raeven

in Tacoma, Washington


----------



## Tommyice

. Where is Starbucks?


----------



## Jim-mi

beside the bakery


----------



## Raeven

called Voodoo Doughnuts


----------



## Tommyice

. What's the pin


----------



## Raeven

? Who's the victim?


----------



## Tommyice

Does it work?


----------



## Raeven

Alexis pondered possibilities.


----------



## Tommyice

"Hmmm. Maybe I


----------



## Raeven

don't need Jumbo


----------



## Tommyice

." If I leave,


----------



## Raeven

he can live.


----------



## Guest

Not for long.


----------



## Raeven

Jumbo's life hung


----------



## Guest

by the neck*.*


----------



## Raeven

His lifeless body


----------



## Guest

hid his secret


----------



## Raeven

bloody voodoo stickpin


----------



## Guest

"Yowks!" thought detective


----------



## Raeven

"Spanky" Barnabas Toddlesworth.


----------



## Guest

Alfalfa got murdered


----------



## Raeven

shortly thereafter, creating


----------



## Guest

"the dead rascals"


----------



## Raeven

, another promising band


----------



## Guest

better than "Meatles"!!


----------



## Jim-mi

of drunk hippies


----------



## Guest

Meatles were drunk??


----------



## Raeven

-- so their demise


----------



## Guest

I'm lost. Again.


----------



## Raeven

, thought Alexis, silently.


----------



## Guest

Grandpa's gone mad!!!


----------



## Raeven

"Kick him back!"


----------



## Guest

said her mama.


----------



## Raeven

Still carrying dolls


----------



## Guest

AND guns, she


----------



## Raeven

hastened away to


----------



## Guest

revive her career.


----------



## Raeven

as a ventriloquist.


----------



## Guest

And stockmarket analist.


----------



## Raeven

A terrible speller, (  )


----------



## Guest

Not a chance.


----------



## Raeven

All the same,


----------



## Guest

Alexis cooked omelets.


----------



## Raeven

He sniffed her


----------



## Guest

own pathetic egglets...


----------



## Raeven

mushrooms were missing.


----------



## Guest

and no bacon...


----------



## Raeven

which was inexcusable.


----------



## Guest

She was emasculated.


----------



## Raeven

-- a bizarre situation.


----------



## Guest

thought Christine Jorgensen


----------



## Raeven

... understandably very confused. (ROFL!!!!!)


----------



## Jim-mi

confusion adds character


----------



## Raeven

... but mostly bewilderment.


----------



## Tommyice

Cutting Jumbo down,


----------



## Jim-mi

into tattered shreds


----------



## Raeven

... his forlorn carcass


----------



## Tommyice

would stir-fry nicely.


----------



## Raeven

The wok spluttered


----------



## Jim-mi

with Bear fat


----------



## Tommyice

. Chopping onions, peppers,


----------



## Raeven

Alexis thought Jumbo


----------



## Tommyice

could self baste.


----------



## Raeven

Number of servings:


----------



## Jim-mi

is very insufficient


----------



## Raeven

for four people.


----------



## SimplerTimez

However, a la


----------



## Tommyice

king serves many


----------



## Jim-mi

but not tonight


----------



## Raeven

. That was because


----------



## Tommyice

Jumbo's lapband surgery


----------



## Raeven

had worked astonishingly


----------



## Tommyice

efficiently. Too bad


----------



## Raeven

, because Donner, PartyofAte


----------



## Tommyice

had a 7pm reservation.


~sorry needed an extra letter~


----------



## Raeven

(LOL, sometimes you just do!!)

Things looked grim.


----------



## Tommyice

The plum sauce


----------



## Raeven

was actually prune


----------



## Tommyice

. Jumbo was regular.


----------



## Jim-mi

at teasing girls


----------



## bajiay

but they didn't


----------



## Jim-mi

like his hairdo


----------



## Raeven

, too Little Richard


----------



## Tommyice

without the purse.


----------



## Raeven

It was time


----------



## Tommyice

to serve desserts.


----------



## Twp.Tom

The party started...


----------



## Raeven

with Samba dance


----------



## Tommyice

and magic margheritas!


----------



## Jim-mi

without Twp. Tom


----------



## Raeven

, very remiss indeed!


----------



## Jim-mi

Raeven conducting the


----------



## Twp.Tom

itinerary for today


----------



## bajiay

decided to light


----------



## Twp.Tom

the communal Hookah


----------



## Jim-mi

Ernie said No . . . .


----------



## Twp.Tom

Hookah's are Evil?


----------



## Jim-mi

idiots don't know


----------



## Twp.Tom

,hiding behind keyboards


----------



## Jim-mi

Bubba prefers sardines


----------



## Guest

. No surprise there..


----------



## Raeven

The band played


----------



## Guest

"The Gods Themselves"


----------



## Raeven

, The Chicken Dance


----------



## Guest

Your favorite, no?


----------



## Raeven

I grow giddy.


----------



## Guest

from poor circulation(?)


----------



## Raeven

... let's not worry.


----------



## Guest

Easy for you


----------



## Raeven

-- let's start again.


----------



## Guest

Once there was


----------



## Raeven

a dyslexic zebra


----------



## Guest

Dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac.
(did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac? He stayed awake all night wondering "Is there a dog?")


----------



## Raeven

(LOL, someone tell me a NEW JOKE!!!)

name of Hank.


----------



## Guest

saw his future


----------



## Raeven

in a pool


----------



## Guest

filled with mercury


----------



## Raeven

. Hank shuddered, realized


----------



## Guest

he was unicornish


----------



## Raeven

sporting a striped


----------



## Guest

mullet. His mom


----------



## Raeven

was a three-time


----------



## Guest

polyamorist. But, regardless(I so want to say irregardless)


----------



## Raeven

(THANK YOU FOR NOT!!!!!)

, he knew which


----------



## Guest

curtain to choose


----------



## Raeven

to find eternal


----------



## Guest

, soaked in sweat


----------



## Jim-mi

about almost nothing


----------



## Raeven

and craving Twinkies.


----------



## Guest

A true addiction


----------



## Raeven

Let's kill him.


----------



## Guest

even if innocent.


----------



## Raeven

He's undoubtedly guilty


----------



## Guest

it might spread


----------



## Raeven

and sully innocents!


----------



## Guest

Drunken Winston Churchill


----------



## Guest

Who needed him??


----------



## Raeven

Edison used cocaine,


----------



## Guest

Jobs, Gates...acid


----------



## Raeven

. Off with their


----------



## Tommyice

heads. Which one?


----------



## Guest

drug headed heads!!


----------



## Guest

Leslie's on acid!!!!!!!


----------



## Tommyice

~~Jinx. We posted at the same time. Mr. Zong it seems you owe me a beer~~


----------



## Tommyice

That's ant~acids mister.


----------



## Guest

I'm on acid?


----------



## Raeven

No great loss.


----------



## Tommyice

Pass the Tums.


----------



## Tommyice

~~Jinx. Now Raeven owes me a beer~~


----------



## Guest

Tiny purple fishes......


----------



## Tommyice

with ruby-red lips


----------



## Guest

Shiver me timbers!!!


----------



## Raeven

Tommyice said:


> ~~Jinx. Now Raeven owes me a beer~~


(I b'lieve since my post was first, in fact, it is you who owes ME a beer. But let's not quibble. Make it a pitcher. I'm a cheap drunk you know.)


----------



## Raeven

Hank winced as


----------



## Guest

Hankette, the wench


----------



## Tommyice

placed the bong


----------



## Raeven

strategically between them,


----------



## Guest

One-eyed gypsy queen


----------



## Raeven

, fashionable eye patch


----------



## Guest

for sociopathic ladies


----------



## Raeven

with bodacious bongs.


----------



## Guest

or bongalicious bods


----------



## Raeven

... Hank grinned, thinking


----------



## Guest

"I will survive"


----------



## Raeven

"Whuttawaytogo!!" he chortled!


----------



## Guest

in his glee.


----------



## Raeven

Meanwhile, Hankette wriggled


----------



## Guest

out of her mortgage.


----------



## Raeven

For years, scrimping


----------



## Guest

eating only toast


----------



## Raeven

, selling used potholders


----------



## Guest

and collecting swagbucks.


----------



## Raeven

Now she could


----------



## Jim-mi

afford a hotdog


----------



## Bret

like a car


----------



## Jim-mi

with a foxtail


----------



## Raeven

sadly flying, tattered,


----------



## Twp.Tom

in circles, loops


----------



## Raeven

and gone forever.


----------



## Twp.Tom

Meanwhile, back home..


----------



## Raeven

Hankette warmed her


----------



## Twp.Tom

her little toes*


----------



## Raeven

at the hearth


----------



## Twp.Tom

on the soapstone


----------



## Raeven

Tulikivi stove, efficient


----------



## Twp.Tom

things heated up


----------



## Raeven

Hankette shared licorice


----------



## Twp.Tom

,her holloween stash,


----------



## Raeven

from early 1962.


----------



## Twp.Tom

Hankette's journey began..


----------



## Jim-mi

with a thud...........


----------



## Raeven

It emanated from


----------



## Jim-mi

the falling ladder


----------



## Bret

rung out wildly


----------



## Raeven

, scaring muskrats in


----------



## Jim-mi

to singing 'Dixie'


----------



## Raeven

in soothing baritones


----------



## Jim-mi

tears ran down


----------



## Raeven

Hankette's tender face,


----------



## SimplerTimez

marred by mascara,


----------



## Jim-mi

and left-over mustard


----------



## Raeven

between her toes


----------



## Jim-mi

and dainty kneecaps


----------



## Raeven

, which was disturbing.


----------



## Jim-mi

Ruffus no end


----------



## Raeven

to the shenanigans


----------



## Jim-mi

of the fairy-princess


----------



## Raeven

, Gladys, sovereign of


----------



## Jim-mi

aristocratic liverwurst maker


----------



## Raeven

s the world over


----------



## Jim-mi

whose tempting tibits


----------



## Jaclynne

caused unending highjinks


----------



## Raeven

among favored kittehs.


----------



## Tommyice

Liverwurst smells funny.


----------



## Jim-mi

and tastes ucky


----------



## arcticow

leaving me more.


----------



## Jim-mi

obnoxious garlic breath


----------



## SimplerTimez

reigned in passions


----------



## Raeven

of amorous puddies


----------



## SimplerTimez

; different from Kiwi's <grin>


----------



## Raeven

... mouthwash is critical.


----------



## Jim-mi

to Limburger cheese


----------



## Tommyice

Step behind the yellow-line.


----------



## Raeven

Blow into balloons,


----------



## Jim-mi

cross your eyes


----------



## Raeven

, touch your nose


----------



## arcticow

click heels thrice...


----------



## Raeven

Kansas looked good


----------



## Jim-mi

thats for sure


----------



## Raeven

," thought Gladys, glumly.


----------



## Jim-mi

lets go there


----------



## arcticow

Remind me, Why??


----------



## Raeven

.... It's tornado season...?? :shrug:


----------



## Jim-mi

don't ask why...................


----------



## Raeven

(Gladys was schizophrenic.)


----------



## Jaclynne

(& loved red slippers!)


----------



## Raeven

She dreamed of


----------



## Jaclynne

popsicles and rainstorms


----------



## Raeven

, glittering dripping conifers,


----------



## Jim-mi

mashpotatoes and gravy


----------



## arcticow

in her slippers.


----------



## Jim-mi

and pink bellbottoms


----------



## Raeven

-- then woke up


----------



## Jim-mi

What a dream


----------



## arcticow

Day dawned red.


----------



## Jim-mi

big rain coming


----------



## Raeven

, the wind chuckled


----------



## Jim-mi

barometric pressure plummeted


----------



## Raeven

. Gladys glanced westward


----------



## arcticow

as mammoths retreated...


----------



## Raeven

things looked dicey.


----------



## Tommyice

A bicycle-riding witch


----------



## Jim-mi

swooped down on


----------



## Raeven

unsuspecting Munchkins, who


----------



## Tommyice

licked oversized lollipops


----------



## Raeven

, adjusted pointy shoes


----------



## Tommyice

over striped leggings


----------



## Raeven

, oblivious to impending


----------



## Twp.Tom

stormy weather ahead


----------



## Raeven

, witchily created above


----------



## arcticow

the Emerald City!!!


----------



## Jim-mi

All is lost


----------



## Raeven

to flying monkeys


----------



## Jaclynne

singing _Straighten Up_...


----------



## arcticow

Three frightened companions


----------



## Jim-mi

fell to-their knees


----------



## SimplerTimez

,searching for seedlings


----------



## Raeven

, weeding like mad


----------



## arcticow

in the poppies!!!


----------



## Jim-mi

tarter sauce included


----------



## arcticow

On flying monkeys!?!?


----------



## Guest

only in France!!


----------



## Raeven

But back to


----------



## Jim-mi

the udder nonsense


----------



## Raeven

... cows in Oz?


----------



## SimplerTimez

Cows are ubiquitous


----------



## Guest

That's an anagram!!!


----------



## Raeven

like bacteria, or


----------



## Guest

an American girl!!!!


----------



## SimplerTimez

Anagrams are considered


----------



## Raeven

rather gauche by


----------



## SimplerTimez

the unknowing intellegentsia


----------



## Raeven

who nonetheless pursed


----------



## Guest

huh? uh, huh?


----------



## Guest

Yes, I meant


----------



## SimplerTimez

<skipping the huh? uh, huh?>

their adroit lips


----------



## Guest

kissy face supermen


----------



## Raeven

tasked with saving


----------



## Guest

mountain goat cheese


----------



## Raeven

to be served


----------



## SimplerTimez

with Pinot Noir


----------



## Raeven

and snooty crackers


----------



## Guest

with frenchy cheeze


----------



## Raeven

from a can


----------



## Jim-mi

of mustard sardines


----------



## Twp.Tom

from Dollar General


----------



## Jim-mi

nothing but thebest . . . . . . . . . LOL


----------



## Raeven

Thus fortified, they


----------



## Jim-mi

did fifty pushups


----------



## Twp.Tom

in secret unison


----------



## Raeven

, giving the stink-eye


----------



## Jim-mi

to-the resident nurse


----------



## arcticow

bringing their medications...


----------



## Jim-mi

and bed pans


----------



## arcticow

,also their restraints.


----------



## Raeven

Quickly, they hightailed


----------



## Jaclynne

it out past


----------



## Jim-mi

the circus clowns


----------



## arcticow

toward conjoined elephants.


----------



## Jim-mi

with matching earrings


----------



## Raeven

, subtle but tasteful


----------



## Jim-mi

soft pink tails


----------



## arcticow

conjoined at trunks!


----------



## Jim-mi

with crazy glue


----------



## arcticow

In a sub-basement,


----------



## Jim-mi

of the white-house


----------



## Raeven

on the corner.


----------



## arcticow

Tight fit, folks...


----------



## Jim-mi

Hollywood and Vine


----------



## sustainabilly

of downtown Schenectady


----------



## Raeven

. Farley the muskrat


----------



## Jim-mi

always eat Hemp


----------



## Jaclynne

despite digestive woes,


----------



## Raeven

but felt benefits


----------



## Jim-mi

from eating healthy


----------



## Jaclynne

purgative benefits aside,


----------



## arcticow

were a positive.


----------



## notwyse

Despite being late


----------



## Jim-mi

for tonight's Bingo


----------



## Jaclynne

Farley felt lucky


----------



## Raeven

, secretly yearning to


----------



## SimplerTimez

be advancing towards


----------



## Raeven

Grand Poobah Winner


----------



## arcticow

Sadly, no dice!


----------



## Jim-mi

Try try again


----------



## notwyse

Practice makes perfect


----------



## Jim-mi

pumpkin pie crust


----------



## arcticow

with ice cream.


----------



## Raeven

"Nuts," thought Farley,


----------



## Tommyice

"I've no nuts."


----------



## Raeven

"for my pie." :shocked:


----------



## Twp.Tom

Farley was 'flabbergasted',


----------



## Raeven

flummoxed and flabellating,


----------



## Jim-mi

just plain dumbfounded


----------



## Twp.Tom

,yet still attentive


----------



## Raeven

, craving Bingo victories.


----------



## arcticow

Tree swallows fluttered


----------



## Jim-mi

the pigs oinked


----------



## arcticow

,spiders spun webs...


----------



## Raeven

young people aged...


----------



## Jim-mi

like Limburger cheese


----------



## arcticow

but with deodorant!


----------



## Jim-mi

made from Codliveroil


----------



## Raeven

. Farley went swimming.


----------



## Jim-mi

in the bathtub


----------



## Raeven

, going nowhere fast.


----------



## Jim-mi

Tiny Bubbles he-sings


----------



## arcticow

floating tummy upwards,


----------



## Jaclynne

in methane-propelled circles.


----------



## Jim-mi

odoriferous methane bubbles


----------



## Raeven

... all too ubiquitous...


----------



## Jim-mi

sophistication is lacking


----------



## Raeven

in muskrat etiquette.


----------



## Jim-mi

Otis . .??? isthat you . . .???


----------



## arcticow

Nope, it's Buford...


----------



## Jim-mi

you been hiding . .???


----------



## Jaclynne

In the cupboard


----------



## Jim-mi

with the cornmeal


----------



## Bret

facial scrub completed,


----------



## arcticow

I'se soooo purty!!


----------



## Jaclynne

Buford admired himself,


----------



## Raeven

tracing a toe


----------



## Jaclynne

in spilled cornmeal


----------



## Raeven

yearning wistfully for


----------



## Jaclynne

more youthful times


----------



## Raeven

, his lost chin


----------



## Jaclynne

and unwhiskered ears,


----------



## Raeven

a distant memory.


----------



## arcticow

Revisiting ancient romances,


----------



## Jim-mi

with teary eyes


----------



## Jaclynne

Buford sighed heavily,


----------



## arcticow

his heart rent.


----------



## Jim-mi

his belly empty


----------



## Jaclynne

and growling loudly,


----------



## Raeven

blini sounded perfect!


----------



## Jaclynne

Buckwheat or potato?


----------



## Raeven

He couldn't decide.


----------



## bajiay

Grabbing some OJ


----------



## arcticow

, and black coffee,


----------



## Jim-mi

and Scandinavian Sardines


----------



## Jaclynne

blini heaven forgotten,


----------



## Raeven

off he went


----------



## Jaclynne

searching out mustard


----------



## Raeven

, rummaged for linens,


----------



## Jaclynne

snagged some crackers


----------



## Raeven

, considered Chinese take-out,


----------



## arcticow

boiled four eggs,


----------



## Jaclynne

and sliced cheddar.


----------



## Raeven

Catering Farley's wedding


----------



## Jaclynne

was hard work!


----------



## arcticow

Still, soldiering on,


----------



## bajiay

and still hungry...


----------



## Jim-mi

the parade begins


----------



## Jaclynne

with marching elephants


----------



## Jim-mi

and pigmy ants


----------



## Jaclynne

scurrying from elephants


----------



## Jim-mi

with manicured hooves


----------



## arcticow

. Flying squirrels swooped


----------



## Jaclynne

trailing flowing ribbons


----------



## Jim-mi

from tipsy clowns


----------



## Raeven

, who danced maniacally


----------



## Jim-mi

in ring three


----------



## Raeven

, while the Ringmaster


----------



## Jim-mi

blew his nose


----------



## arcticow

with extreme prejudice.


----------



## Twp.Tom

The clowns screamed!


----------



## Jim-mi

over the band


----------



## Twp.Tom

,trumpets blaring loudly


----------



## Raeven

as mimes climbed


----------



## Twp.Tom

ascending towards heaven


----------



## Raeven

-- or rafters, anyway --


----------



## Twp.Tom

. The Ringmaster clamored, "


----------



## arcticow

Abandon ship, NOW!"


----------



## Jim-mi

clowns ran sideways


----------



## Jaclynne

dragging monkeys behind


----------



## Jim-mi

the prancing horses


----------



## arcticow

. The monastery walls


----------



## Jaclynne

beaded with moisture


----------



## Jim-mi

stunk like heck


----------



## arcticow

"Redwaaaall!!!" they roared.


----------



## Jim-mi

but nobody listened............


----------



## Twp.Tom

to the trombone


----------



## Jim-mi

go ummm-pa-pa


----------



## Raeven

echoing through cavernous


----------



## Tommyice

empty, underground caverns.


----------



## Raeven

(cavernous like that.)


----------



## Jim-mi

full of bats


----------



## Jaclynne

and scurrying centipedes:yuck:


----------



## Raeven

, crafty, skulking spiders


----------



## Jaclynne

even more yucky


----------



## Raeven

than banana slugs


----------



## Jaclynne

and slithering snakes!


----------



## Raeven

An unpleasant spot.


----------



## Jim-mi

to picnic in


----------



## Jaclynne

or settle down,


----------



## Raeven

or perform circus


----------



## Jaclynne

,every runaways dream,


----------



## Raeven

every journey begins


----------



## Jaclynne

with fool's courage


----------



## Raeven

and blind optimism


----------



## Jaclynne

(oh, I remember)


----------



## Raeven

... unblemished by experience.


----------



## Jaclynne

A setup unfortunately,


----------



## Raeven

for starry-eyed clowns


----------



## Jaclynne

and the naive


----------



## Raeven

snappy dancing mice


----------



## Jaclynne

that practice pirouettes


----------



## Jim-mi

on Limburger cheese


----------



## Jaclynne

with stinky feet.


----------



## Raeven

Surreal in extremis.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Undaunted by lingering


----------



## Jim-mi

green mold spores


----------



## Jaclynne

Buford breathed deeply


----------



## Jim-mi

smell was malapropos


----------



## Jaclynne

but he was


----------



## Jim-mi

undaunted . . . pressing on . . .


----------



## Raeven

the doorbell of


----------



## Jaclynne

the mayor's ex-wife


----------



## Raeven

, stout and stolid


----------



## Jaclynne

with serious countenance


----------



## Raeven

. Frowning, she said,


----------



## Jaclynne

"Rufen fÃ¼r pizzas"


----------



## Raeven

? "Weg mit dir,


----------



## Jaclynne

"Hat jemand gefolgt!!"


----------



## Raeven

Sadly, Buford didn't


----------



## Jaclynne

understand. He stood


----------



## Raeven

, scratching his beard


----------



## Jaclynne

staring stupidly at


----------



## Raeven

Helga, the mayor's


----------



## Jaclynne

mail order bride,


----------



## Raeven

until nothing was


----------



## Jaclynne

left but to


----------



## Raeven

suck his teeth


----------



## Jaclynne

with irritating sounds


----------



## Raeven

, flare his nostrils


----------



## Jaclynne

and attempt to


----------



## Raeven

send Helga screaming


----------



## Jaclynne

"Himmel bewahre uns!!"


----------



## Jim-mi

alas . . . .he tripped


----------



## Jaclynne

falling into Helga's


----------



## Jim-mi

wide open clutches


----------



## Raeven

of rare chickens


----------



## Twp.Tom

in full molt


----------



## Raeven

-- much hilarity ensued.


----------



## Twp.Tom

The crowd roared...


----------



## Raeven

baying for blood!


----------



## Twp.Tom

angry ones flailing!


----------



## Jim-mi

rooster never stopped


----------



## Twp.Tom

crowing, till daybreak.


----------



## Jim-mi

rain blew sideways


----------



## Raeven

Buford pondered escape.


----------



## Jim-mi

down the Ohio-river


----------



## Twp.Tom

they paddled,furiously


----------



## Jim-mi

with the rubber-ducky


----------



## Jim-mi

into the night


----------



## Jaclynne

Shore-shadows moved mysteriously


----------



## Raeven

. Buford flinched, then


----------



## Jim-mi

very loudly burped


----------



## Raeven

his Tupperware&#8482; container


----------



## Twp.Tom

filled with photographs


----------



## Jim-mi

floated up river


----------



## Twp.Tom

On the Pontoon!


----------



## Jim-mi

of the Titanic


----------



## Twp.Tom

Going, down, down....


----------



## Jim-mi

into-the-ring-of-fire


----------



## Twp.Tom

burn, burn, burn..


----------



## Jaclynne

in an oil-spill


----------



## Jim-mi

in the bathtub


----------



## Raeven

, making escape challenging.


----------



## Twp.Tom

The journey resumed...


----------



## Jim-mi

away into space


----------



## Twp.Tom

aboard the rocket


----------



## Raeven

Mr. Spock whimpered,


----------



## Twp.Tom

are we there?


----------



## Jim-mi

ten degrees south


----------



## Raeven

, warp speed, Mr.


----------



## Jim-mi

Jones . . .full gallop


----------



## Bret

for best mileage


----------



## Raeven

, where'er we're bound!


----------



## Twp.Tom

Onward, they forged...


----------



## Raeven

the engines shook...


----------



## Twp.Tom

the thrust catapulted


----------



## Raeven

the ship into


----------



## Twp.Tom

a brilliant galaxy


----------



## Raeven

-- "Oooohhhh!!! Aaaahhh!!!" exclaimed


----------



## Twp.Tom

all the children


----------



## Jim-mi

the Lone Ranger


----------



## Twp.Tom

galloped into view


----------



## Raeven

, across the sky.


----------



## Jim-mi

Hi HO Silver


----------



## Twp.Tom

and Away!,Away!


----------



## Jim-mi

the Blazing Saddles . . . . . .


----------



## Bret

to Camptown Races


----------



## Twp.Tom

Sing this Song*


----------



## Jim-mi

Eee I Oh


----------



## Bret

What a beautful


----------



## Jim-mi

bunch of coconuts


----------



## Twp.Tom

for baking Macaroons


----------



## Jim-mi

with chocolate chips


----------



## Raeven

for the journey


----------



## Jim-mi

to downtown Havana


----------



## Raeven

. The music thrummed


----------



## Jim-mi

exposed flesh bounced


----------



## Raeven

in unflattering ways


----------



## Jim-mi

Jelly Roll Blues


----------



## Raeven

, Jigglin' Cellulite Cha-Cha


----------



## Jim-mi

Texas side step . . . . .


----------



## SimplerTimez

Texas Poo Step...


----------



## Raeven

(I hate you.)


----------



## SimplerTimez

Driving along I-90


----------



## Raeven

on their way


----------



## SimplerTimez

knock, knock, knockin'


----------



## Raeven

through the veneer


----------



## Guest

of heavenly intervention


----------



## Jim-mi

of banneD posts


----------



## Guest

and sexual innuendo


----------



## Raeven

-- down in flames


----------



## Guest

of desire. Meanwhile,


----------



## Raeven

Buford was lost.


----------



## Guest

As am I.


----------



## Raeven

But no matter!


----------



## Guest

said Stephen Hawking.


----------



## Raeven

"Imaginary time is


----------



## Guest

misunderstood." However, pizza


----------



## Raeven

is reliably forever!"


----------



## Bret

said Tom Monaghan.


----------



## Jim-mi

Double cheese, sardines


----------



## Raeven

-- NOT a best-seller...


----------



## Twp.Tom

at Amazon .com


----------



## Raeven

(delivered by drone!)


----------



## Jim-mi

driving a KIA


----------



## Raeven

, they slowly headed


----------



## Twp.Tom

for the Sierra's


----------



## Raeven

. The KIA stuttered,


----------



## Twp.Tom

onto the shoulder


----------



## Raeven

... bad development, this.


----------



## Twp.Tom

The day ended...


----------



## Jim-mi

with a flat-tire


----------



## arcticow

Moonlight slanted eerily


----------



## Jaclynne

casting monster-like shadows


----------



## Jim-mi

over the outhouse


----------



## arcticow

from which bats


----------



## Twp.Tom

fluttered in circles


----------



## Jim-mi

devouring the bugs


----------



## Twp.Tom

that wreaked havoc


----------



## arcticow

with the watermelons.


----------



## Jim-mi

and pink comquats


----------



## Twp.Tom

fell from trees


----------



## Jim-mi

onto the goats


----------



## arcticow

who promptly bloated.


----------



## Twp.Tom

The dust settled...


----------



## Jim-mi

and Tonto appeared


----------



## Twp.Tom

on his pony


----------



## Fowler

wearing buttless chaps


----------



## Twp.Tom

The Cowgirls screamed!


----------



## vicker

,"but, less chaps!".


----------



## Twp.Tom

Off, he rode...


----------



## Jim-mi

to the saloon


----------



## Twp.Tom

to play poker


----------



## Jim-mi

with Montana Slim


----------



## Twp.Tom

and his sidekick..


----------



## arcticow

Evil Roy Slade!!


----------



## Jim-mi

Ace of spades.....


----------



## arcticow

Hedley Lamar was


----------



## Jim-mi

in rare form


----------



## arcticow

. From the cornfields,


----------



## Raeven

blew enticing winds


----------



## Jim-mi

and tumbling tumble-weeds


----------



## Raeven

... Hedley's tooth twinkled.


----------



## Jim-mi

her scanty attire


----------



## arcticow

(Hedley's a him)...


----------



## Jim-mi

you missed the operation


----------



## Raeven

arcticow said:


> (Hedley's a him)...


Smoothing his mustache,


----------



## arcticow

and gesturing for


----------



## Raeven

four new cards,


----------



## arcticow

the Waco Kid


----------



## 1stTexan

of the rhubarb.


----------



## Jim-mi

made tasty pie


----------



## Raeven

for poker intermission


----------



## Bret

from chips, potatoes.


----------



## Jim-mi

and dried pigsfeet


----------



## arcticow

. Lilly Von Shtupp


----------



## Jim-mi

Is so tired


----------



## arcticow

of Jack Frost


----------



## Jim-mi

looking for Mongo


----------



## Raeven

on his mule


----------



## Twp.Tom

,let's leave town


----------



## Jim-mi

on the mid-night-express


----------



## Raeven

for gentle climes


----------



## Twp.Tom

and pickled garlic*


----------



## Jim-mi

and yummy sardines


----------



## arcticow

in thick S'mores.


----------



## Jim-mi

with nasty leprechauns


----------



## arcticow

riding white rabbits.


----------



## Jim-mi

in the rain


----------



## Twp.Tom

.The gang reappeared


----------



## Raeven

-- happily for some,


----------



## Twp.Tom

Kisses and chivalry*


----------



## Raeven

... others wept, unabashedly.


----------



## Twp.Tom

Crying is acceptable


----------



## Raeven

," said Hedley, "But


----------



## Twp.Tom

I want kisses


----------



## Raeven

in exchange for


----------



## Twp.Tom

unconditional Love* forever!


----------



## Raeven

Who wouldn't want


----------



## Twp.Tom

being in utopia*


----------



## Raeven

? Aardvarks, thought Lili.


----------



## Jim-mi

rather have sardines


----------



## Raeven

than ants, understandably.


----------



## Jim-mi

chocolate covered grasshoppers . . .???


----------



## arcticow

have difficulty hopping.


----------



## Raeven

But such thinking


----------



## Jim-mi

makes happy faces


----------



## Raeven

scrunch in disgust


----------



## Jim-mi

but chocolate prevails


----------



## SimplerTimez

. Swooning with drama


----------



## Jim-mi

Drama Queens pervade.....


----------



## arcticow

perversely reigning drama!


----------



## Raeven

"I wonder," said


----------



## Jim-mi

Otis's new bride


----------



## arcticow

"am I doomed?"


----------



## Jim-mi

Otis just snickered


----------



## arcticow

Shots rang out...


----------



## Raeven

!!! Ernestine whipped her


----------



## Twp.Tom

self into shape


----------



## Raeven

, eying Otis with


----------



## Twp.Tom

the dreaded 'stinkeye'


----------



## Raeven

"You shooting me??"


----------



## Twp.Tom

why you scoundrel!


----------



## Raeven

Ernestine grabbed her


----------



## Twp.Tom

weapon of choice


----------



## Raeven

, a rolling pin


----------



## arcticow

and flattened big-time!!


----------



## Jim-mi

blood was everywhere


----------



## arcticow

Peafowl flapped, screaming


----------



## Jim-mi

obscene verbal insanity's


----------



## arcticow

Stephen King noted


----------



## Jim-mi

nonconformist characters peeing


----------



## Raeven

into the wind


----------



## Jim-mi

. . ...... . .rather than go below into the cabin......
. . . . .on the lea side with the rail almost in the water 
. . . . .under a full set of sail
. . . . .making many knots . . .

Oh the memories of "been there done that" of my sailing days......


----------



## Jim-mi

requires infinite finesse


----------



## Twp.Tom

the saga continued....


----------



## Raeven

to the dismay


----------



## Tommyice

of great many


----------



## Raeven

admirers of prose.


----------



## Jim-mi

wanting less sex


----------



## Twp.Tom

but more Passion!


----------



## Jim-mi

no strings attached........


----------



## Twp.Tom

to the puppet.


----------



## Raeven

Still, he mindlessly


----------



## Twp.Tom

wandered along, alone


----------



## Raeven

, except The Puppetmaster


----------



## Twp.Tom

had future plans


----------



## Raeven

... evil chortles emitted


----------



## Twp.Tom

from behind him


----------



## Raeven

. Slowly, he turned


----------



## Twp.Tom

erupting into laughter!


----------



## Raeven

To his amazement,


----------



## Tommyice

this story is


----------



## Raeven

like a zombie,


----------



## Tommyice

hungrily consuming brains,


----------



## Raeven

but never tasting


----------



## In2deep

Imagining the worst,


----------



## Raeven

Gustav bit his


----------



## Jim-mi

left index finger


----------



## Tommyice

dipped in jelly,


----------



## Raeven

-- a refreshing change.


----------



## Jim-mi

from lemon lollypops


----------



## Raeven

. He squealed and


----------



## Twp.Tom

wiggled his toes


----------



## In2deep

stood up fast


----------



## Twp.Tom

dizzy, breathing hard...


----------



## Jim-mi

picked-up his 44


----------



## In2deep

shot through door


----------



## Jim-mi

splattering monster grasshoppers


----------



## Tommyice

covered in chocolate.


----------



## In2deep

melting on ground


----------



## Jim-mi

bees decended from


----------



## In2deep

hole in attic


----------



## Jim-mi

Ohboy . . . chocolate honey . . .


----------



## In2deep

spread over toast


----------



## Jim-mi

with crispy bacon


----------



## In2deep

wrapped in shrimp


----------



## Jim-mi

with green smoothies


----------



## Raeven

... violent puking ensued.


----------



## Twp.Tom

Their colony collapsing...


----------



## Raeven

their world ending...


----------



## Twp.Tom

the bees escaped


----------



## Raeven

and fled to


----------



## Twp.Tom

San Juan Capistrano


----------



## Raeven

, where they swallowed


----------



## Jim-mi

everything in sight


----------



## Raeven

, slowing them down


----------



## Twp.Tom

to a crawl


----------



## Raeven

as they headed


----------



## Bret

for a buz


----------



## Jim-mi

with Goldenrod nectar


----------



## Bret

and the queen


----------



## In2deep

slipped and fell


----------



## Jim-mi

workers reacted immediately


----------



## In2deep

heart beating fast


----------



## Raeven

"Yoinks!!" hollered the


----------



## Jim-mi

forgetful bee keeper


----------



## Raeven

, as the swarm


----------



## In2deep

invaded the castle


----------



## Jim-mi

of black shadows


----------



## In2deep

started feeling faint


----------



## Jim-mi

from the mushrooms


----------



## In2deep

seeing shooting stars-


----------



## Jim-mi

with pigmy tails


----------



## In2deep

twitching side to


----------



## Jim-mi

front and back


----------



## Raeven

... and she fainted.


----------



## Jim-mi

into Homers arms


----------



## Raeven

. He fanned her


----------



## Twp.Tom

and gently stroked..


----------



## Raeven

her sweaty face


----------



## Jim-mi

and running mascara


----------



## In2deep

with dragon breath


----------



## Jim-mi

and pink too-too


----------



## Raeven

. "Oh, darling," whispered


----------



## Jim-mi

infatuated Homer, But.......


----------



## Raeven

he quietly realized


----------



## Twp.Tom

She was beautiful*


----------



## Raeven

to a rhinoceros.


----------



## Twp.Tom

Homer was infatuated...


----------



## Raeven

all the same.


----------



## Twp.Tom

Life is unpredictable...


----------



## Raeven

Accepting his fate,


----------



## Twp.Tom

he ventured forward


----------



## Raeven

, grabbing up Lucinda (about time we gave her a name, eh?)


----------



## Jim-mi

of loving a rhinoceros


----------



## Twp.Tom

so very horny!


----------



## Raeven

Off they fled


----------



## Jim-mi

into the quagmire


----------



## Raeven

awaiting them in


----------



## Jim-mi

goopie quagmire style


----------



## Raeven

, which meant Amarillo.


----------



## Jim-mi

over ginger beer


----------



## Raeven

, they considered options.


----------



## Jim-mi

for their toenails


----------



## Raeven

. Mabel's Pedicure Emporium


----------



## Jim-mi

We prune nails


----------



## Twp.Tom

without the frills


----------



## Jim-mi

Almost no Pain


----------



## Twp.Tom

until You awaken


----------



## Jim-mi

in the horse-bittle


----------



## Twp.Tom

with no pinkies!


----------



## Jim-mi

Lucinda violently burped


----------



## MOSSYNUT

out one pinky


----------



## Raeven

along with ragtime


----------



## Jim-mi

on the pi-anner


----------



## Raeven

, fingers flying frantically


----------



## Jim-mi

keyboard came alive


----------



## Raeven

with startled roaches


----------



## Jim-mi

creeping and crawling


----------



## Jim-mi

along Stineway's top


----------



## Jim-mi

with stunning precision


----------



## Raeven

, tiny tap shoes


----------



## Jim-mi

with pink bows


----------



## Raeven

on their feet!


----------



## Jim-mi

all 100 feet's


----------



## Raeven

tapping out Adagietto


----------



## Jim-mi

in 3/4 time


----------



## Raeven

... what a sight!


----------



## Jim-mi

dust kitties flew


----------



## Raeven

up their noses


----------



## Jim-mi

the coordination stunk


----------



## Raeven

. What to do?


----------



## Jim-mi

tarandfeather the confederate


----------



## InTownForNow

On second thought...


----------



## Jim-mi

fire the MotlyCrew


----------



## Jim-mi

Add salt sparingly


----------



## Raeven

while slowly roasting


----------



## sustainabilly

his fat over


----------



## Raeven

a crackling fire.


----------



## Twp.Tom

Fall*, colorfully exploded!.....


----------



## Raeven

like yesterday's vomit


----------



## sustainabilly

. Is there *a*na*thema*?


----------



## Raeven

(What, are you Italian?  ) Edgar reappeared, smiling


----------



## sustainabilly

through his cantalone


----------



## Jim-mi

Edgar's nose dripped


----------



## arcticow

, Kleenex was applied,


----------



## Raeven

(Cow, your deft and subtle touch is always so appreciated..!!)

and he pondered


----------



## Jim-mi

Why birds fly


----------



## Raeven

south for winter


----------



## sustainabilly

from Cape Horn?


----------



## arcticow

Rare flying penguins


----------



## sustainabilly

diving for chum


----------



## FireMaker

Turned inverted when


----------



## sustainabilly

Edgar sneezed vociferously,


----------



## arcticow

dwarves spewing forth!!


----------



## sustainabilly

(Yep! Still deft and subtle.) Crying out loudly,


----------



## arcticow

yet landing adroitly,


----------



## sustainabilly

they cavorted dwarfishly


----------



## Raeven

, forming a posse


----------



## arcticow

on fresh concrete.


----------



## Raeven

Rather disgusting, really.


----------



## Twp.Tom

The party continued....


----------



## arcticow

tea with butter


----------



## Raeven

and cinnamon toast,


----------



## sustainabilly

dipped hot wings,


----------



## arcticow

and pickled okra.


----------



## Raeven

Fortified and nauseous,


----------



## sustainabilly

Edgar hunted flying


----------



## arcticow

fish by torchlight.


----------



## Raeven

"I'll just bet


----------



## arcticow

there's a whopper


----------



## Raeven

in there somewhere!"


----------



## sustainabilly

still in my


----------



## arcticow

net, I'll betcha!


----------



## sustainabilly

"Try bait dwarves,"


----------



## Raeven

Craftily, he fiddled


----------



## arcticow

flying fish tunes


----------



## sustainabilly

while Sebastian mamboed,


----------



## Raeven

somewhat gracelessly, but


----------



## arcticow

the boat filled


----------



## Raeven

with water, leaking


----------



## sustainabilly

snotty dwarves everywhere.


----------



## arcticow

Horrified fish flew


----------



## Raeven

hastily back to


----------



## sustainabilly

Sebastian and Edgar


----------



## Raeven

. Laughing uproariously, they


----------



## arcticow

who gladly rescued


----------



## sustainabilly

the floundering llamas


----------



## Raeven

swimming like mad


----------



## arcticow

and soggy pixies


----------



## Raeven

whose fairy dust


----------



## sustainabilly

weighed down by


----------



## arcticow

damp wings dribbled


----------



## Raeven

not effective, anyway.


----------



## arcticow

An exciting night


----------



## sustainabilly

in southern Argentina.


----------



## Raeven

Sebastian scurried into


----------



## sustainabilly

the lighthouse keeper's


----------



## Raeven

special secret room,


----------



## sustainabilly

and surreptitiously stashed


----------



## Raeven

his cherished collection


----------



## Jim-mi

with blue candles


----------



## sustainabilly

behind the budha


----------



## Raeven

balefully watching from


----------



## sustainabilly

under the bed.


----------



## Raeven

Seriously creepy. Edgar


----------



## sustainabilly

mounted his llama


----------



## Raeven

and rode unsteadily


----------



## sustainabilly

singing old vaudeville


----------



## Raeven

show tunes, slapping


----------



## sustainabilly

his Ovation geetar


----------



## Jim-mi

with his toes


----------



## Raeven

, picking 'Foggy Mountain'


----------



## sustainabilly

while the llama


----------



## Raeven

curled his lip


----------



## sustainabilly

and Sebastion yodeled


----------



## Raeven

for Edgar to


----------



## Jim-mi

hit the road jack


----------



## sustainabilly

. Meanwhile, the Mudville


----------



## Raeven

Merry Muskrats skipped


----------



## Jim-mi

hens laid purple


----------



## sustainabilly

skid marks on


----------



## Raeven

the road ahead.


----------



## Jim-mi

Willie sang again


----------



## sustainabilly

strolling through the


----------



## Raeven

gentle autumn rain.


----------



## sustainabilly

Suddenly, who should


----------



## Raeven

furtively slip into


----------



## sustainabilly

the three word


----------



## Raeven

endless silly story


----------



## sustainabilly

, but none other


----------



## arcticow

than Paul Bunyan


----------



## Jim-mi

and his Ox


----------



## sustainabilly

. Carrying the mystery


----------



## Echoesechos

Violin that she


----------



## sustainabilly

played with her


----------



## Jim-mi

two left feets


----------



## DEKE01

Space Aliens rejoiced!

(Raeven, that's what you get for taunting me!  )


----------



## sustainabilly

Edgar gazed forlornly


----------



## Raeven

at incoming spaceships


----------



## DEKE01

which killed Edgar.


----------



## Twp.Tom

Edgar was revived...


----------



## Jim-mi

with sassafrass tea


----------



## Echoesechos

And Oreo cookies


----------



## arcticow

Babe stood outside,


----------



## sustainabilly

lowing in harmony


----------



## Twp.Tom

at the resurrection


----------



## arcticow

,blue snow drifting,


----------



## sustainabilly

snotty dwarves singing,


----------



## arcticow

Bunyan snoring loudly.


----------



## sustainabilly

Yawning, Sebastion said


----------



## DEKE01

"stupid space aliens."


----------



## sustainabilly

"They drank up


----------



## Echoesechos

Chocolate tigers milk


----------



## sustainabilly

, ate all the


----------



## Echoesechos

Pink flamingo beaks


----------



## sustainabilly

, and spilled the


----------



## Echoesechos

Hot chili beans


----------



## Jim-mi

into the coffee


----------



## sustainabilly

, creating a new


----------



## Jim-mi

icecream called uppa-uppa


----------



## sustainabilly

; no refrigeration necessary!


----------



## Echoesechos

Uppa all day,


----------



## Jim-mi

Uppa all night


----------



## sustainabilly

Chili beans'll sure


----------



## Raeven

make warm nights.


----------



## Echoesechos

Not a skunk


----------



## Raeven

stirred, nor a


----------



## Echoesechos

One legged pig


----------



## Jim-mi

hamming it up


----------



## Echoesechos

For Easter dinner


----------



## Jim-mi

candles all around


----------



## sustainabilly

preparing for Samhain.


----------



## Echoesechos

Dean Martin singing


----------



## sustainabilly

falsetto in adagio,


----------



## Jim-mi

Rock of ages


----------



## sustainabilly

while holding a


----------



## Echoesechos

Turkey drumstick above


----------



## Jim-mi

Jerry Lewis head


----------



## sustainabilly

; Jerry sightings being


----------



## Jim-mi

only slightly fictitious


----------



## Raeven

and mercifully rare.


----------



## Jim-mi

Gretchen bowed low


----------



## Echoesechos

And showed her


----------



## Jim-mi

very ample endowment


----------



## Raeven

of fried seaweed


----------



## sustainabilly

out of desperation


----------



## Guest

, stirred not shaken,


----------



## Raeven

but nutritious, nonetheless.


----------



## Guest

.

Meanwhile, clouds brewed.


----------



## Raeven

They portended ominous


----------



## Guest

yet solipsistic psychodrizzle


----------



## Raeven

Edgar was confused.


----------



## Guest

yet amazed, nonetheless.


----------



## sustainabilly

, yet, holistically accurate.


----------



## Raeven

He frowned slightly


----------



## Guest

And financially stable!!
LOL, too slow. 

while barely acquiescent.


----------



## sustainabilly

he grinned impishly.


----------



## Raeven

He said, circumspectly,


----------



## Guest

"Does Dog exist?"


----------



## Raeven

A thinking rodent


----------



## sustainabilly

"Hey Bubba, look


----------



## Guest

"Is nothing scared?"


----------



## Raeven

at my powerful


----------



## sustainabilly

what I can


----------



## Guest

catatonicly stoned friend.


----------



## Guest

kissing a monkey


----------



## Raeven

Edgar beamed, remembering


----------



## Guest

"I'm Artie Choke"
(Firesign Theater flashback)


----------



## Raeven

His dear friend,


----------



## Guest

whose *real* purpose


----------



## Raeven

, just a joke.


----------



## Echoesechos

You have T-paper


----------



## Raeven

and Gorilla Glue --


----------



## Echoesechos

In your teeth


----------



## Jim-mi

and your eyebrows


----------



## Echoesechos

Glued lips together



There is a story here. Just didn't occur to me.


----------



## Jim-mi

bath in formaldehyde


----------



## Guest

.
Nuke the whales!!


----------



## Jim-mi

eat more garlic


----------



## Raeven

.... advice wasted on


----------



## Jim-mi

pink cuddly elephants


----------



## Raeven

, who just wanted


----------



## Twp.Tom

to be Friends


----------



## Raeven

with Edgar and


----------



## Twp.Tom

all the others*


----------



## Raeven

. Edgar tangoed with


----------



## Jim-mi

Polly the cook


----------



## arcticow

. Ariadne, voluptuous nymph,


----------



## Raeven

leaving Edgar breathless


----------



## arcticow

as ethereal music


----------



## Raeven

wafted from hidden


----------



## arcticow

flautists and harpers.


----------



## Raeven

"Where am I?"


----------



## Jim-mi

almost downtown Detroit


----------



## arcticow

Horribly rude awakening...


----------



## Jim-mi

just ahead coneydogs


----------



## Twp.Tom

on the boardwalk


----------



## Jim-mi

over the pond


----------



## arcticow

Eensy weensy spiders


----------



## Jim-mi

sitting here besideus


----------



## arcticow

Musk oxen grunted


----------



## Jim-mi

insidious pig squealing


----------



## Raeven

ensued. Detroit was


----------



## Jim-mi

full of vigor


----------



## Raeven

-ous people leaving.


----------



## Twp.Tom

Going to Ohio*


----------



## Raeven

A great choice!


----------



## Twp.Tom

for excitable adults*


----------



## Raeven

who like astronauts


----------



## Twp.Tom

to infinity and...


----------



## Raeven

beyond! In fact,


----------



## Twp.Tom

John Glenn was...


----------



## Raeven

juggling Buckeye candies


----------



## Twp.Tom

in a spacesuit*


----------



## Raeven

on a rollercoaster


----------



## Twp.Tom

at 'Cedar Point'


----------



## Jim-mi

riding the magnum


----------



## arcticow

Meanwhile, North Dakotans


----------



## Twp.Tom

contemplated homeland security


----------



## arcticow

while picking corn


----------



## Raeven

and teasing roughnecks.


----------



## arcticow

Salt water trucks


----------



## Jim-mi

with flat tires


----------



## sustainabilly

entered-- *Niagra Falls!*[Dah Dah Dah Dahhhh]


----------



## Jim-mi

falling fishing fun


----------



## Raeven

, a memorable ride


----------



## Jim-mi

in a golfcar


----------



## SimplerTimez

. Crunching granola contemplatively,


----------



## Raeven

Barnard considered opportunities.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Vegas? Detroit? Kansas?


----------



## Raeven

ANYWHERE but Detroit!!! :hair


----------



## SimplerTimez

Options abruptly narrowed,


----------



## Raeven

Barnard shuffled off


----------



## SimplerTimez

,his hairy knuckles


----------



## notwyse

Dragging far behind


----------



## Raeven

, heading toward Sedona.


----------



## SimplerTimez

Tequila in hand,


----------



## Raeven

thoughts of Delilah


----------



## SimplerTimez

clouding his judgement


----------



## Raeven

. (Typical. Dang women!!)


----------



## SimplerTimez

Barnard sighed dreamily


----------



## Jim-mi

and fitfully napped


----------



## homefire2007

relishing his tasty


----------



## Jim-mi

buffalo chicken wing


----------



## Raeven

after waking abruptly


----------



## Jim-mi

to the cistern


----------



## homefire2007

aching empty void


----------



## Raeven

of bitter loneliness


----------



## homefire2007

destined for solitude


----------



## Raeven

, since Delilah absconded


----------



## Twp.Tom

to higher ground


----------



## Raeven

with their cash


----------



## Twp.Tom

secretly hidden inside..


----------



## Raeven

her mega-sized brassiere.


----------



## Jim-mi

made from burlap


----------



## arcticow

Itchy, itchy, ITCHY!!!


----------



## Raeven

Barnard wanted revenge.


----------



## arcticow

As did Delilah.


----------



## Raeven

Barnard plotted ceaselessly,


----------



## arcticow

Delilah chugged coffee,


----------



## Raeven

Barnard saw opportunity!


----------



## arcticow

Delilah saw stars!


----------



## Raeven

Barnard mixed arsenic


----------



## arcticow

Burlap athletic support...


----------



## Jim-mi

of small objects


----------



## arcticow

Itchy revenge exacted,


----------



## Jim-mi

silk tothe rescue


----------



## sustainabilly

. Her ginormous bacon


----------



## Jim-mi

full of salt


----------



## sustainabilly

caused her to


----------



## Jim-mi

upset the applecart


----------



## sustainabilly

. Cash in hand,


----------



## Raeven

(or close, anyway)


----------



## sustainabilly

Delilah vanished into


----------



## Jim-mi

the milling crowd


----------



## sustainabilly

whistling the theme


----------



## Raeven

to Luuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrve Story


----------



## sustainabilly

and winking at


----------



## Raeven

Barnard, with lurid


----------



## Jim-mi

come hither looks


----------



## sustainabilly

. Barnard just wanted


----------



## Raeven

her feeding buzzards.


----------



## sustainabilly

Eyes narrowing, Barnard


----------



## Echoesechos

Butchered jammie feet


----------



## sustainabilly

bleeding profusely, stumbled


----------



## Raeven

in front of


----------



## sustainabilly

a careening rickshaw


----------



## Jim-mi

with wobbly wheels


----------



## Echoesechos

Annnnnnnnnd jagged teeth


----------



## Jim-mi

blood . . . gushing blood


----------



## sustainabilly

... Bored, Delilah picked


----------



## Jim-mi

her macabre tooths


----------



## sustainabilly

and giggled maniacally.


----------



## Jim-mi

her broom vibrated


----------



## Echoesechos

Her broom what?


----------



## Raeven

, impatient to fly


----------



## sustainabilly

, she straddled the,


----------



## arcticow

till it exploded...


----------



## Raeven

(scared to ask!)


----------



## arcticow

Barnard's last "adjustment".


----------



## Raeven

to single life.


----------



## arcticow

Golden moonlight flooded


----------



## Raeven

the quiet meadow


----------



## Echoesechos

Thinking, what the


----------



## sustainabilly

hell was that!


----------



## Jim-mi

The broom disapeared


----------



## Raeven

along with Delilah


----------



## sustainabilly

and the cash.


----------



## Raeven

Gnashing his teeth,


----------



## sustainabilly

Barnard, now destitute,


----------



## Raeven

found work as


----------



## sustainabilly

a chimney sweep


----------



## Raeven

, while simultaneously studying


----------



## sustainabilly

"Origami For Profit"
[Rieki no tame no origami]


----------



## Raeven

. He was sure


----------



## Echoesechos

Life was over


----------



## sustainabilly

. Then he met


----------



## Jim-mi

the golden goose


----------



## arcticow

AKA Big Mabel.


----------



## Raeven

Only slightly goose-like,


----------



## Jim-mi

but still rotund


----------



## sustainabilly

, she'd played Brunhilda


----------



## arcticow

defeating her soundly!!


----------



## sustainabilly

during opera auditions


----------



## Raeven

for La Traviata


----------



## sustainabilly

at'th Schenectady Met.


----------



## Raeven

Programmes were extra.


----------



## sustainabilly

Backstage, Barnard tried


----------



## Jim-mi

his pink tutu


----------



## Echoesechos

With rainbow eggs,


----------



## handymama

Which fit nicely


----------



## Jim-mi

beside the extrovert


----------



## sustainabilly

-tical striped camisole.


----------



## arcticow

Suddenly, Bugs Bunny


----------



## sustainabilly

sashayed in, purring


----------



## Jim-mi

skittish as usual,


----------



## sustainabilly

grabbed Barnard and


----------



## handymama

dragged him away


----------



## sustainabilly

while singing show


----------



## handymama

tunes and wearing


----------



## notwyse

His corset backwards


----------



## Jim-mi

that's upside-down . . . . .silly


----------



## sustainabilly

. Hamming "Cabaret", they


----------



## Twp.Tom

had back when..


----------



## Jim-mi

King Kong ruled


----------



## sustainabilly

, they shared a


----------



## Jim-mi

pumpkin glazed dognut


----------



## sustainabilly

and a bottle


----------



## arcticow

of Listerine mouthwash.


----------



## sustainabilly

Meanwhile, Big Mable


----------



## Jim-mi

made Spam sand-witches


----------



## arcticow

with homemade chow-chow.


----------



## sustainabilly

Famished, the boys


----------



## Raeven

hightailed it for


----------



## Echoesechos

The seven eleven


----------



## sustainabilly

for slurpies, licorice,


----------



## Raeven

and extra-strength TUMs.


----------



## sustainabilly

Looking for trouble,


----------



## Raeven

Barnard and Bugs


----------



## sustainabilly

donned their leathers


----------



## Raeven

and their feathers


----------



## sustainabilly

, hopped on Merlin


----------



## Raeven

, the humpbacked whale,


----------



## sustainabilly

and went street-dragging.


----------



## Raeven

(Hard on Merlin.)


----------



## sustainabilly

Mable, in hotpants,


----------



## Raeven

shimmied past, hollering


----------



## sustainabilly

_*$200.00 on the*_


----------



## Raeven

rabbit!!" Barnard scowled,


----------



## sustainabilly

and Bugs howled,


----------



## Raeven

... Mabel grinned, rubbing


----------



## sustainabilly

her itchy butt


----------



## Raeven

-- fortunately, the rash


----------



## sustainabilly

matched her shorts


----------



## Raeven

... no one noticed.


----------



## sustainabilly

But, they did


----------



## Raeven

notice her massive


----------



## sustainabilly

jowls and eyelashes


----------



## Raeven

, both sticky with


----------



## sustainabilly

congealed Spam slime


----------



## Raeven

which stuck also


----------



## sustainabilly

in her cleav- mustache


----------



## Raeven

. Dogs followed hopefully


----------



## sustainabilly

. Mable growled, greedily


----------



## Twp.Tom

garnering, it all*


----------



## Echoesechos

A fat farce.


----------



## arcticow

Volcanic belches erupted!!


----------



## Echoesechos

Well I never!


----------



## handymama

Mabel hopped on


----------



## Raeven

a passing freight


----------



## sustainabilly

handler's back, gnashing


----------



## Raeven

and frothing profusely


----------



## sustainabilly

, and screaming SPAMMMM!


----------



## handymama

The freight handler


----------



## sustainabilly

groaned under Mable's


----------



## handymama

enormous furry bosom


----------



## sustainabilly

, which smelled like


----------



## handymama

demonic spam fairies


----------



## sustainabilly

. [pause] Ohh Kayy. Meanwhile,


----------



## handymama

Mabels ex-lover plotted


----------



## arcticow

the ship's course


----------



## Echoesechos

North by northwest


----------



## Raeven

, hoping for Anchorage


----------



## arcticow

but hit Nome!!!


----------



## Echoesechos

Landing in Jamaica


----------



## handymama

with lawn gnomes


----------



## Echoesechos

And pink flamingos


----------



## arcticow

Immediately reversing course,


----------



## Echoesechos

While striping off


----------



## arcticow

Jamaica's first highway,


----------



## sustainabilly

our intrepid multi-tasker


----------



## arcticow

used Rosetta Stone


----------



## sustainabilly

to master womanese


----------



## arcticow

yet failed miserably...


----------



## sustainabilly

because everyone knows


----------



## arcticow

women are inscrutable.


----------



## handymama

The peasants rejoiced


----------



## Echoesechos

Men understanding things


----------



## sustainabilly

, singing a rousing


----------



## Echoesechos

Snarky bar tune


----------



## sustainabilly

called "Steampunk Girls."


----------



## Echoesechos

Gurls dude, gurls!


----------



## sustainabilly

Mable sputtered hysterically.


----------



## Echoesechos

Around a pink


----------



## Raeven

squirrel, her favorite


----------



## sustainabilly

dangly formal earring,


----------



## Raeven

now lost forever.


----------



## Echoesechos

Not lost, flushed.


----------



## sustainabilly

by her nemesis,


----------



## Raeven

Toilet of Doom.


----------



## sustainabilly

Plunger in hand,


----------



## Echoesechos

Cigar in ear,


----------



## Raeven

Mabel was determined


----------



## sustainabilly

hopelessly, irrevocably insane.


----------



## Raeven

(Are they twins, this Mabel and Mable? Or just a split personality?) 

plunging and groping


----------



## sustainabilly

and laughing hysterically,


----------



## Echoesechos

Just a singing


----------



## Raeven

sadly, horribly out-of-key


----------



## sustainabilly

ditty, [Ahem...] Mabs grinned


----------



## Raeven

and muttered quietly,


----------



## sustainabilly

"Blast that Barnard,


----------



## Raeven

that dirty troublemaker!"


----------



## sustainabilly

The commode belched


----------



## Raeven

, earring flew forth


----------



## sustainabilly

slapping wetly on


----------



## Raeven

Mabel's overabundant, lush


----------



## sustainabilly

, plump, pink jowls.


----------



## Raeven

"Well, I never!!"


----------



## sustainabilly

exclaimed the earring.


----------



## arcticow

Buford the wrangler


----------



## sustainabilly

sauntered in jauntily.


----------



## Raeven

He rocked back


----------



## arcticow

boots dripping greenly...


----------



## Raeven

"Well, little lady,"


----------



## arcticow

yer Clydesdale's saddled!"


----------



## sustainabilly

"Clydesdale!" Mable sniffed,


----------



## Raeven

"I wanted a


----------



## arcticow

roan Belgian, silly!"


----------



## Raeven

Tossing her head,


----------



## sustainabilly

and whinnying angrily,


----------



## Raeven

Clarabelle the Clydesdale


----------



## sustainabilly

bit Mabel's big


----------



## Raeven

Banned for misspelling 'Mable.' Oh, wait --

juicy apple, held


----------



## sustainabilly

firmly between her
(nu-uh, not this time, :nono::nana


----------



## sustainabilly

..........................


----------



## Raeven

neck and shoulder.


----------



## sustainabilly

She narrowly missed


----------



## Raeven

rearranging Mabel's chin!


----------



## sustainabilly

"Watch it, nag!"


----------



## handymama

Cried Mabel's chinhairs.


----------



## sustainabilly

In stumbled Barnard.


----------



## arcticow

,shoelaces tied together,


----------



## sustainabilly

and thoroughly debauched.


----------



## Raeven

He scratched his


----------



## Twp.Tom

itching little backside


----------



## Raeven

, wrinkled his nose


----------



## Twp.Tom

and shuffled onward...


----------



## Raeven

his hangover notwithstanding.


----------



## Twp.Tom

The Members assembled...


----------



## Raeven

Lincoln Log cabins


----------



## handymama

while eating pistachios


----------



## Raeven

, advertising exceptional dexterity


----------



## handymama

with their toes.


----------



## Echoesechos

Mable coughed up


----------



## Raeven

the usual suspects,


----------



## arcticow

while northern lights


----------



## Raeven

shimmered from above,


----------



## sustainabilly

leaving multi-colored tracery


----------



## Raeven

in bedazzled imaginations.


----------



## sustainabilly

"Ooooh!" said Barnard.


----------



## Raeven

"That reminds me


----------



## sustainabilly

of the 70's."


----------



## Raeven

Thoughts turned to


----------



## sustainabilly

bubble-gum lights and


----------



## Raeven

mirrored disco balls,


----------



## sustainabilly

big hair and


----------



## Raeven

Saturday Night Fever!


----------



## sustainabilly

Barnard mounted Clarabelle


----------



## Raeven

, his favorite motorcycle,


----------



## sustainabilly

shaped mini Clydesdale,


----------



## Echoesechos

His snappy crotch-rocket


----------



## sustainabilly

snapped his fingers


----------



## handymama

as snapping turtles


----------



## sustainabilly

raced by on


----------



## Raeven

snorting Friesian stallions


----------



## handymama

. "Tally ho!" He cried.


----------



## sustainabilly

. Clarabelle snorted jealously,


----------



## Raeven

and pricked up


----------



## sustainabilly

Barnard's ears fussily.


----------



## handymama

The water sprites


----------



## Raeven

twirled and giggled


----------



## handymama

as the dryads


----------



## Echoesechos

Plucked Annabelle sparkly


----------



## Echoesechos

Hmmmm.

Clydesdale shaped top hat


----------



## arcticow

The White Rabbit


----------



## handymama

asked the caterpillar


----------



## sustainabilly

for the time


----------



## Echoesechos

Brunch is served.


----------



## arcticow

Den Br'er Fox


----------



## sustainabilly

sang an aria


----------



## Echoesechos

Naked as a


----------



## sustainabilly

nihilist in church,


----------



## arcticow

while the porcupines


----------



## sustainabilly

snarfed chocolate eclairs.


----------



## arcticow

A blood-red sunrise


----------



## handymama

peeked over the


----------



## arcticow

tupelos and cypress


----------



## Echoesechos

Singing Mary had


----------



## sustainabilly

decorated for Christmahannukwanzadanulexing-Day.


----------



## motdaugrnds

... while dove sang ...


----------



## arcticow

O Christmas Tree


----------



## Echoesechos

Your lovely boughs


----------



## sustainabilly

-'re dry and shedding


----------



## arcticow

Camels belched contentedly


----------



## Raeven

, toeing the sand


----------



## handymama

, sucking jolly ranchers


----------



## arcticow

, making them slobber.


----------



## Raeven

Orisons of peace


----------



## arcticow

settled gently earthward.


----------



## Raeven

A disturbing, dischordant


----------



## Jim-mi

sprig of Baylief


----------



## Echoesechos

Wrapped around angels


----------



## handymama

well-trimmed wiggly toes.


----------



## arcticow

Shepherds in fields


----------



## sustainabilly

as they lay


----------



## arcticow

watching sheep sleep.


----------



## sustainabilly

and count humans.


----------



## Jim-mi

jumping over the


----------



## sustainabilly

intrusive census questions


----------



## Jim-mi

fermenting nasty feelings


----------



## Echoesechos

About curds and whey.


Yes I know it's four BUT it it's Christmas.


----------



## Echoesechos

About curds and whey.


Yes I know it's four BUT it it's Christmas.


----------



## arcticow

Unconditional, purest love


----------



## Jim-mi

at rainbows end


----------



## Raeven

... rare, but possible.


----------



## sustainabilly

Suddenly! Our heroine


----------



## Raeven

croaked a tune


----------



## Jim-mi

Joy tothe world


----------



## arcticow

(Ahem!!) Snowflakes spiraled


----------



## Jim-mi

onto the countryside


----------



## Raeven

of Wahoo, Nebraska


----------



## handymama

while John Wayne


----------



## sustainabilly

and Maureen O'Hara


----------



## arcticow

destroyed laden tables.


----------



## Jim-mi

with fervent vigor


----------



## arcticow

Plumb wore out,


----------



## Jim-mi

John burped loudly


----------



## Echoesechos

Happy New Year


----------



## Jim-mi

Baaa Hum Bug


----------



## arcticow

Wolves howled eerily


----------



## Echoesechos

Dragons flew close


----------



## handymama

, and Sir George


----------



## CajunSunshine

became Dragon's dinner.


.


----------



## Echoesechos

Oh bother sighed


----------



## Jim-mi

with great gusto


----------



## arcticow

Sir George's page.


----------



## Bret

cleaned the fireplaces


----------



## Jim-mi

with unscented Kleenex


----------



## Bret

as Oswald knocked (You remember Oswald, right?)


----------



## arcticow

mud from his


----------



## handymama

chocolate chip muffins


----------



## Echoesechos

Thinking mud hurts


----------



## Jim-mi

best with ketchup


----------



## Echoesechos

Ewww, not ketchup


----------



## Jim-mi

made with peanuts


----------



## Echoesechos

Oh, okay. Ketchup is banned.


----------



## arcticow

Echoesechos said:


> Oh, okay. Ketchup is banned.


Too many wordses...


----------



## handymama

cried the nuns


----------



## Jim-mi

nun too soon


----------



## Echoesechos

Nun to late


----------



## Echoesechos

Nun juuusssttt right.


----------



## Jim-mi

gimmme a break


----------



## Echoesechos

LOL, couldn't resist.


----------



## handymama

Y'all are banned.


----------



## Jim-mi

red roses anyone??????????


----------



## Echoesechos

Roses are red


----------



## handymama

Smurfs are blue


----------



## arcticow

Hold your breath


----------



## Janis R

breath deep, smile.


----------



## Jim-mi

now sing America


----------



## Raeven

... Oswald's mind shattered.


----------



## arcticow

As once before...


----------



## Raeven

a recurring event.


----------



## arcticow

Picture tiny shards


----------



## Raeven

of fragile skull


----------



## Jim-mi

filled with jello


----------



## Raeven

and Velveeta cheese,


----------



## Echoesechos

And jalapeno peppers


----------



## Raeven

-- cranial nachos extraordinaire!


----------



## Jim-mi

good head cheese


----------



## arcticow

, hard to squire,


----------



## Jim-mi

easy to resist


----------



## arcticow

Not for long...


----------



## Jim-mi

sing a song


----------



## Echoesechos

About mud pies


----------



## qtkitty

And should flies.


----------



## arcticow

Fort Nelson bustled


----------



## Bret

with spring preperations


----------



## Jim-mi

wacky ice sculptures


----------



## arcticow

notwithstanding, prospectors haggled


----------



## Raeven

and skirmished enthusiastically


----------



## arcticow

, gold fever coursing


----------



## Raeven

like mercury through


----------



## arcticow

their hot veins.


----------



## Raeven

They dreamt of


----------



## arcticow

returning with riches


----------



## Raeven

of staggering proportions.


----------



## arcticow

Living as kings,


----------



## Raeven

their dainty shoes


----------



## arcticow

polished like glass,


----------



## Jim-mi

smelled like crazy


----------



## Raeven

but charming nonetheless.


----------



## Bret

Time melted before


----------



## Jim-mi

the bell rang


----------



## qtkitty

And the prince


----------



## Raeven

of prospectors, Klondike


----------



## arcticow

Percival, could idle


----------



## Raeven

in the tailings


----------



## arcticow

or open new


----------



## Jim-mi

problematic leachable veins


----------



## qtkitty

Of ore. He


----------



## Jim-mi

sat on his


----------



## qtkitty

Rump in the


----------



## Jim-mi

makeshift food tent


----------



## qtkitty

And hollered," Hey


----------



## Jim-mi

I need Hemp


----------



## qtkitty

Rope post haste


----------



## Echoesechos

Mud fight marathons


----------



## Jim-mi

were predictability invigorating


----------



## Echoesechos

For the seniors


----------



## Jim-mi

with hightop boots


----------



## Echoesechos

Stomping red ants


----------



## Raeven

like deranged flamenco


----------



## Jim-mi

with ghastly gibberish


----------



## Echoesechos

Eating pink shellfish


----------



## arcticow

Not PINK shellfish?!?!


----------



## Echoesechos

Sorry, it was.


----------



## arcticow

SEVERE allergies ensued!


----------



## Raeven

( :facepalm: Flamenco, not FLAMINGO.)


----------



## Jim-mi

shaking their tushes


----------



## Raeven

, snapping their castanets


----------



## Bret

like flamingo beaks


----------



## Raeven

until they collapsed


----------



## Twp.Tom

in a puddle*


----------



## Raeven

. "That's hard work!"


----------



## Echoesechos

Flamenco, flamingo blah!:shrug:


----------



## Jim-mi

too much agony


----------



## arcticow

As vultures wheeled


----------



## Jim-mi

over the bohemian


----------



## Raeven

landscape, searching, restless


----------



## Bret

"Bohemian"?, he thought.


----------



## Bret

A rhapsody in


----------



## Raeven

goulash, the vultures


----------



## Echoesechos

Thought they smelled


----------



## Raeven

-- but they didn't.


----------



## Jim-mi

because it vanished


----------



## Echoesechos

Under black lights


----------



## Jim-mi

into Zombie land


----------



## arcticow

where life is


----------



## Echoesechos

Filled with pokadots


----------



## Jim-mi

and luminous macaroons


----------



## Echoesechos

Ummm love macaroons


----------



## Echoesechos

Yuuummmm love macaroons


----------



## Echoesechos

Hate double entries!


----------



## qtkitty

Macarrrrrrrroooooooons macarrrrrrroooons macarrrrrrrrons


----------



## arcticow

called the goofusbird.


----------



## qtkitty

Then pooped on


----------



## arcticow

the new car


----------



## Jim-mi

chrome dual exhausts


----------



## qtkitty

A convertible and


----------



## tamarackreg

a vee ate


----------



## Echoesechos

Huh? Vee who?


----------



## qtkitty

Vee the duck


----------



## Jim-mi

ate the goose


----------



## qtkitty

Spat out feathers


----------



## Twp.Tom

for good luck*


----------



## qtkitty

Onward to Camelot


----------



## Twp.Tom

ready or not...


----------



## Jim-mi

no singles allowed


----------



## Twp.Tom

...said the Michiganian*


----------



## qtkitty

Jumping around in


----------



## Twp.Tom

the sandy soil


----------



## Echoesechos

And stinky crablegs


----------



## Jim-mi

and argyle socks


----------



## arcticow

Mountain snows melted


----------



## qtkitty

The rivers swelled


----------



## Jim-mi

with pink bullfrogs


----------



## arcticow

hunting lavender mayflies.


----------



## Jim-mi

the Brooktrout feasted


----------



## qtkitty

The sunset in


----------



## Jim-mi

the north east


----------



## qtkitty

Darkness fell over


----------



## Jim-mi

the nearby toilet


----------



## qtkitty

Planted with flowers


----------



## tamarackreg

vegetables and fruit


----------



## Jim-mi

with wiggly worms


----------



## summerdaze

big as snakes


----------



## qtkitty

Scaring all the


----------



## Jim-mi

dumb circus clowns


----------



## CraftyLady

She died satisfied.


----------



## Jim-mi

Homer felt rejected


----------



## arcticow

Smoke filtered heavenward,


----------



## Jim-mi

cigar ashes everywhere


----------



## Echoesechos

Vacuum broken again.


----------



## Jim-mi

from super spiders


----------



## qtkitty

Sp-sp-IDERS EEEK RUN


----------



## tamarackreg

with super speed


----------



## Jim-mi

watermellons beat spiders


----------



## arcticow

Rocks beat scissors...


----------



## Jim-mi

only in Norway


----------



## Echoesechos

and in Timbuktu


----------



## Jim-mi

outlawed in Chile


----------



## arcticow

Paper wraps rocks...


----------



## tamarackreg

paper wraps rock


----------



## qtkitty

Kai bai boh


----------



## Echoesechos

Picking your nose!


----------



## qtkitty

Mile long boogie


----------



## Jim-mi

snot nosed kids


----------



## tamarackreg

pick a winner


----------



## Jim-mi

or jump ship


----------



## Echoesechos

Ship has sailed.


----------



## Jim-mi

for parts unknown


----------



## Bret

but to Queequeg


----------



## Jim-mi

right near Detroit


----------



## Twp.Tom

at Cobo Hall*


----------



## Jim-mi

third level mezzanine


----------



## Echoesechos

Behind the potted


----------



## arcticow

meat & rye sammiches


----------



## Jim-mi

cornybeef on rye


----------



## tamarackreg

well equipped rescuers


----------



## FireMaker

Found the pickled


----------



## tamarackreg

Piper picking pansies


----------



## Jim-mi

hold the mustard


----------



## tamarackreg

cut the cheese


----------



## Jim-mi

with a crowbar


----------



## Echoesechos

Over the moon


----------



## Jim-mi

wailed the wolf


----------



## Echoesechos

The spoon jumped


----------



## Twp.Tom

into the yogurt


----------



## Jim-mi

loaded with strawberrys


----------



## Echoesechos

Sprinkled with chocolate


----------



## Jim-mi

covered pink bunnies


----------



## Echoesechos

Ewww bunny parts


----------



## Jim-mi

bunny poop included


----------



## handymama

Just got worse


----------



## Jim-mi

than moldy yogurt


----------



## Twp.Tom

In the nose


----------



## Echoesechos

Oh much worse


----------



## Jim-mi

than rusty nails


----------



## tamarackreg

through your toes


----------



## Echoesechos

Up your nose


----------



## Jim-mi

witha rubber hose


----------



## Echoesechos

Oh Mr Carter.


----------



## Jim-mi

likes moldy peanuts


----------



## tamarackreg

with rainbow colors


----------



## Echoesechos

With chocolate snowman


----------



## handymama

. Not brown snow!


----------



## Jim-mi

eat yellow snow


----------



## tamarackreg

Wherda huskies go


----------



## Jim-mi

Theywent for Faygo


----------



## tamarackreg

in a Winnebago


----------



## Jim-mi

fighting off Lumbago


----------



## Echoesechos

Going buggggo here


----------



## Jim-mi

better start over


----------



## Echoesechos

Second page - really?


----------



## Jim-mi

with iridescent ink


----------



## handymama

and lovely carbuncles


----------



## Jim-mi

on wheat bread


----------



## Echoesechos

Served up cold


----------



## Jim-mi

with pink hydras


----------



## Echoesechos

With elephant ears


----------



## Jim-mi

and Limburger cheese


----------



## Echoesechos

Crushed poprocks sprinkled


----------



## tamarackreg

on the way


----------



## Jim-mi

to the outhouse


----------



## Echoesechos

For outhouse trolls


----------



## Jim-mi

Sears catalog shortage


----------



## tamarackreg

Ebay mobile app


----------



## Jim-mi

nauseatingly bad idea


----------



## tamarackreg

think happy thoughts!


----------



## Echoesechos

Not happy thoughts!


----------



## Jim-mi

happy sassafras day


----------



## tamarackreg

root beer mustaches!


----------



## handymama

Where's the fan?


----------



## Echoesechos

Fan or fun?


----------



## Jim-mi

bouncing fanny pack


----------



## Oxankle

loaded with dynamite.


----------



## Jim-mi

and outdated Twinkies


----------



## Oxankle

resting on steatopygia.


----------



## Echoesechos

Resting on what?


----------



## Jim-mi

bread . . . . spelled backwards


----------



## tamarackreg

that's ef'n nasty!


----------



## Jim-mi

blue mold special


----------



## Oxankle

Look up Steatopygia


----------



## Jim-mi

exponential buttt prognosis


----------



## Echoesechos

Ebp, oh ok.


----------



## tamarackreg

Somewhere therein lieth


----------



## Jim-mi

the ramshackle gooneybird


----------



## Raeven

, limping but defiant,


----------



## Twp.Tom

He charged onward!


----------



## Raeven

(Name of Clem.)


----------



## Twp.Tom

coffee in hand*


----------



## Raeven

... pondering new adventures.


----------



## Twp.Tom

Suitcase in hand...


----------



## Raeven

"Miami's pretty nice,"


----------



## Twp.Tom

in the winter*


----------



## Jim-mi

matter of opinion


----------



## tamarackreg

said Frosty's squeeze


----------



## Echoesechos

Smoked a peace


----------



## Bret

, offering to all


----------



## Raeven

who wanted one


----------



## Vahomesteaders

Free of charge


----------



## Raeven

a homegrown lettuce.


----------



## Bret

Gather at River


----------



## Vahomesteaders

Bring your guitar


----------



## Raeven

-- anything but Kumbayah!


----------



## Vahomesteaders

Sweet home Alabama


----------



## LT2108

Where the skies


----------



## Raeven

were big, blue


----------



## Twp.Tom

on the range...


----------



## Vahomesteaders

Driver in hand


----------



## Echoesechos

Are stormy and


----------



## Vahomesteaders

Captain buttersquash mcgee


----------



## Echoesechos

Not him Again?


----------



## Raeven

Yes! 'Twas he! (  )


----------



## Vahomesteaders

Kilt and all


----------



## Echoesechos

With pink indeed


----------



## Echoesechos

With pink unders


----------



## Echoesechos

With pink unders


----------



## LT2108

Only to realize


----------



## tamarackreg

they were over


----------



## Echoesechos

At the Wal-Marts


----------



## LT2108

Are filled with


----------



## tamarackreg

all the kings


----------



## tamarackreg

...:shocked:


----------



## tamarackreg

....gre:


----------



## tamarackreg

....:surrender:


----------



## Echoesechos

Descriptive, very descriptive.


----------



## Echoesechos

What? It's grimlins.


----------



## Oxankle

Loose in Walmart!


----------



## frogmammy

Business as usual


----------



## mmoetc

Hey! The sun!


----------



## krackin

I don't understand.


----------



## CajunSunshine

See post #1.


----------



## CajunSunshine

Unleash your creativity!


----------



## CajunSunshine

(In three words.)


----------

