# Will I always feel this guilty?



## lickcreek (Apr 7, 2006)

This is going to sound bad. Really bad. But I got rid of a house plant last night, and it is such a relief, but I feel a little guilty at the same time!! I love my houseplants, but this one has bothered me since the day I brought it home. Not the plant's fault, it was a pretty and unusual plant, had pink blooms on it most of the time. It was rather large and took up a little bit more room than I liked, but still I kinda liked the plant itself. 

What I didn't like was what it represented. This was one of the plants DMom sent home with me after DDad's funeral. There were several that came to my house, but this one came from DH's mom. 

Long story short, there is quite a bit of bad blood between my family (DH, Kids and me) and DH's mom. She never acknowledges that DH or DKids exist, but when out in public makes such a scene about "how important family is" etc. This is exactly what she did at my Dad's funeral. And she made such a big scene about the plant she sent, how once she saw it she just "HAD" to get it, she'd NEVER seen anything like it, on and on. This is the plant that got sent home with me.

But last night, I realized I don't feel love towards my Dad when I see it, all I feel is irritation towards DMIL. The other plants I brought home don't evoke these feelings. So while I was watering last night, I pulled this one out of the pot and threw it in the compost.

I was keeping it out of guilt, feeling that it should be a living tribute to my dad. As I said, it was a pretty plant, and I felt guilty that I disliked it for where it came from. I now feel guilty for throwing it out, knowing I only did it because it came from her, I still have all the other plants from the funeral.

I can't win. I'll probably feel guilty about this stinking houseplant for the rest of my life! I guess my DMIL wins again.


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## Ninn (Oct 28, 2006)

Don't give her power over you that she doesn't deserve. The thought that came with that plant was never a good one, even though the plant itself was pretty and unusual. Maybe you can pass it along to someone who will be able to love it without the baggage that came with it. And let go of the guilt, my friend. It's just a plant. Your love for your father will not change just because you removed something that reminds you of an ugly person.


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## Guest (Mar 26, 2008)

Could be worse!

My Grandma was given a bunch of seeds to grow. She was known for being able to grow just about anything and she loved to share her plants. She never did learn the scientific name of them or really cared about the technical side of horticulture. She just liked to grow plants. Someone gave her the seeds to see if she could grow them. 

The plants grew, but Grandma didn't know what it was and it didn't have really pretty blooms. She decided she didn't like it at all. She waited for the plant to turn to seed and then she took it out of it's pot. Since she considered it bad luck to intentionally kill a plant, she threw it over the fence into our cow pasture. 

It wasn't until later on after Dad mowed the pasture and spread the seeds all over and their smart aleck daughter (me) told them that Granny was growing pot and they just spread hundreds of seeds over their pasture. :rock:


If the plant doesn't give you joy, get rid of it. No sense in having that bad carma floating over your abode.


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## pinemead (Jan 18, 2003)

I'd look at it as a liberating decision. It it doesn't give you joy or warm memories, TOSS IT! And don't feel guilty of the reason.


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## lickcreek (Apr 7, 2006)

Tonya - that is too funny! 

I know I got rid of it because of it's "bad karma". And I have to say, when I walked in the house last night, there was a lighter feeling in the mudroom (that's where it resided) just by having it gone. I realize that silly plant had bad feelings associated with it for me, and I feel better that it's gone.

I think the only reason I feel a little guilty is that I know DH would like to have a better relationship with his DM. Throwing out a gift from her is somehow not supportive of that. But deep down I realize that keeping this plant is not going to correct the years of cr*p she has given us, but instead it was a reminder of that. I don't think DH realized that it came from her, and he hasn't said one word about it being gone. 

I guess it's okay to be happy that it is gone, and if DH does say something, a little white lie about it's demise would be appropriate. No reason to make him feel bad, too, right?


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## Sumer (May 24, 2003)

I think its perfectly OK to get rid of it if it brings such bad feelings into your life. Now you have put something where it was with someting that makes you feel good. That way you wont have lingering guilt every time you look at the space where it was.

~~Sumer


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

i think its good you tossed it you should feel realived. it didnt represent anything pleasent. your father lives on in you not a plant. plants make good compost anyway!

tonya that cracked me up.


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