# It's Gonna Be Okay!



## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

A fellow I've been seeing recently left in a big huff the other day because I was taking care of barn & livestock chores, and not giving him my undivided attention. I was somewhat astonished, but not broke up, saddened or angered. A bit vaguely relieved, too. Then it hit me like a thunderclap; I'm single, and it's okay! I'm going to be just fine on my own.

I'll admit I've been darn near desperate to have an SO; someone with whom I can have a mutual attraction, someone to love/love on, and who loves me back. But it isn't necessary! I'll be okay by myself! Besides, who needs a man who expects you to neglect your responsibilities in his favor????? Not me!

It'll never happen for me; I'll never have an SO again in my lifetime. I don't put this out there as a challenge to someone to try to change my mind. I'm not a defeatist; rather I'm a realist. It's not going to happen for me. And it's fine by me!

I guess I'll go join forces with FBB now. Oh, BI-I-ll! YooHoo! BI-I-I-ll! I ain't got a man! And I ain't lookin', neither!


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

I think it is wonderful accepting where you are right now, but we never really know what the future may bring!


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## Allen W (Aug 2, 2008)

If he wasn't interested in what you was doing he wasn't the right one any way, so no loss in the end.


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## Jaclynne (May 14, 2002)

Nehi - I think its great to accept your life as it is and start enjoying it. But I will say we can not predict the future, and should not decide to dismiss it before we give it a chance.

Just last year I might have made the same declaration (sans calling on Bill ), but recently I've been very pleasantly surprised by the changes life has presented. 

Just enjoy now!

Jackie


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## Darren (May 10, 2002)

Did the man ever help with the chores? If he wants your attention, he needs to help out and work to save you time.


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## BetsyK in Mich (May 14, 2002)

Right there with you sister, at this age it probably isn't going to happen especially since I'm not really trying, feels "strange" to be looking. Enjoying my long coming independence. Any guy who won't pitch in and help or at least go to the house and make coffee and supper and wait until you are finished caring for the animals needs to hit the road anyway in my opinion. I know, you never know what the future will bring but I'm not crying in my beer if Mr. Wonderful doesn't show up on the porch either.


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## Twp.Tom (Dec 29, 2010)

Nehi*, as much as you've got going on, with running your farm, kidding, having puppies, I can't believe that anyone, would be put off, for you not giving them undivided attention. You amaze me, by what you do on your own,if anything, those that are close to you, should be asking if you need a helping hand . Never say never, cause you never know, someone might show up to HELP, someday* I hope so, cause you deserve it*.


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## Ramblin Wreck (Jun 10, 2005)

nehimama said:


> I guess I'll go join forces with FBB now. Oh, BI-I-ll! YooHoo! BI-I-I-ll! I ain't got a man! And I ain't lookin', neither!


Is Bill looking for a man? I thought he was shopping for a farm.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

Nehi, you've been tickled pink with all your extra new life and barn chores. Anyone who wants stomp off in a huff about kids and puppies, phooey on them! You'll be more than okay without them taking up space in your life.


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## Terri (May 10, 2002)

What Laura said. Honestly!

The man who stomped off is a man who does not takes responsibility seriously: not your responsibilities and likely not his. It isn't as though the livestock can feed themselves!!!!!!!!!!!


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## foaly (Jan 14, 2008)

It's better to be alone than wish you were.


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## Guest (Feb 19, 2014)

Great philosophy...be happy where you are today...tomorrow takes care of itself.

BTW, I wasn't looking when Arcticow and I crashed into one another...it does happen...and I'm older than you are!! Solo or Duet, the music is still lovely


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

When he stomped off,,,did he stomp in any poop????

hehe


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## Tommyice (Dec 5, 2010)

Nehi now that you've admitted it, out loud, you do realize you gonna find someone now. LOL


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## sherry in Maine (Nov 22, 2007)

what AllenW said.

Didn't the guy know you are busy? Couldn't he have waited a few minutes? Perhaps, if they dont want to help, or even just understand what it is about, they are not right for you. I'm glad you have the right attitude; but as others have said, dont cross companionship off your list yet.


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

L.A. said:


> When he stomped off,,,did he stomp in any poop????
> 
> hehe


Yup! He stepped in it; big time! Durn fool. 2 1/2 hour drive to get here, $50.00 in gas, and he leaves with nothing but a foul attitude!

But, it isn't about this guy. It's about me being okay being alone. Oh! The freedoms that entails! Don't have to step around someone, appease anyone, work around/work anyone into my schedule, ya know? I can keep my house as neat or as messy as I want it/can stand it. I can keep my house any way I want it. Should I decide to listen to reggae music, I don't have to worry that the other prefers country. I dress to please myself. (Sometimes in jammies all day long!) I can be me! In my own home! Don't have to cater to anyone else's tastes in ANYTHING. I'll eat what I like, have my meals at any time I deem appropriate. I can nap, undisturbed and without guilt, six times a day if it suits me! It's freedom! 

Bottom line is: I'm okay alone. Being single is okay by me.


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

*

*


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

It amazes me mama. on the posting above, you list 2 diz attributes of being single. Then, in a week, youll have a Mr Newsom in view.


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

I'm glad that you've come to that realization! 

And really, if he didn't want to be around your furbabies, he is SO NOT right for you!


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## doingitmyself (Jul 30, 2013)

What is an SO? Single zero? Maybe sad orphan? Or sick olddude? Oh i got it, maybe it means sloppy orifice? Maybe it means all those things??

To be honest i don't need a woman around here to do chores...... i other things in mind!!! LOLOLOL (the laughter would be done with a mischievous tone) 

Relax, I'm just teasing!! LOLOL Someone really should hold the ladder while I'm fixing the gutters.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

SO Means Significant UD opps, Other


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

SO = Significant Other.


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## whiterock (Mar 26, 2003)

Nehi, I know exactly what you mean, felt the same relief when my ex hit the road. I can go to the stores at midnight if i want, sleep till noon, lunch at 7 and dinner at 2 in the mornin. NO ONE interferes without my permission.


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

I think I am screwed.

I would love to have someone who 'moves with me'.
Like a tree in the wind.
Leaves are leaves and branches are branches.
But when the wind moves, they move together.
Leaves cannot exist without the branches, and branches are incomplete without leaves.

I don't want to be 'all alone' for the rest of my life.
I want someone to blow in the breeze with me!!


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

It's what I wanted, too, Laura. But I had to face the fact that it just isn't in the cards for me! Finally, I'm at peace with that.


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

FarmboyBill said:


> It amazes me mama. on the posting above, you list 2 diz attributes of being single. Then, in a week, youll have a Mr Newsom in view.


I honestly don't think so, Bill.


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

Laura Zone 5 said:


> I would love to have someone who 'moves with me'.


I would love someone to help me move! :happy2:


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## Oxankle (Jun 20, 2003)

Nehi: He got of easy. It's clear that you were not all that interested in him, or you'd have at least explained to him that you had to finish your chores before you could pay any attention to him. 

He realized that you were more important to him than he was to you. When a man senses that it is time for him to leave and find a woman who wants his company. It's hard for a man to do once he's really committed; best to find out early. 
Ox


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

Posted by Oxankle:
"He realized that you were more important to him than he was to you."

Whoa! I absolutely do NOT think so!


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## Ardie/WI (May 10, 2002)

Nehi, it's too bad you couldn't have given him a pacifier for his drive home! What a child!


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## petefarms (Oct 17, 2004)

Interesting post, kind of know how you feel, same age and birth dates about 1 week apart. I'm feeling the same way. Never know whats going to happen next at age 61 I guess I'm not going to worry if there is someone with me, but I think eventually it'd be nice. Best to keep yourself busy good for the mind, body and soul. 
best of luck.


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## Guest (Feb 20, 2014)

Oxankle said:


> Nehi: He got of easy. It's clear that you were not all that interested in him, or you'd have at least explained to him that you had to finish your chores before you could pay any attention to him.
> 
> He realized that you were more important to him than he was to you. When a man senses that it is time for him to leave and find a woman who wants his company. It's hard for a man to do once he's really committed; best to find out early.
> Ox


Whoa there chief..

Where did that assumption come from? 
Who said that she didn't say to him, "We'll have a nice supper together after I finish my chores? Want to come along?"


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

He sounds like a spoiled baby to me,,

Good for you Nehi !!!:hobbyhors


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## Oxankle (Jun 20, 2003)

Lesley; if a woman says to a man "Wait a bit until I've done my chores" the man waits; no man walks away from even an implied promise if he's interested. Men walk away when they get their feelings hurt, when they realize "she's not really interested in me". 

Some fellows figure that out quicker than others. Most men will walk away. sometimes very reluctantly, rather than pursue a woman who does not care. When they walk away in a pout you can be sure their pride is hurt. When the woman tells herself the man's departure means nothing to her you know the fellow made the right decision.


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

It was absolutely necessary for my survival that it mean nothing to me! I'm always the one who's on the hurting end of this carp! At the very least, this time, *I* did not get hurt!!!

Or. . . . . . did you want to read that I threw myself down on the ground & cried my eyes out???? Well, I didn't!


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

Ox, I think that you are usually spot on, but way off base on this one! 

I just can't imagine that our Nehi would be anything other than pleasant to her visitor, but animals need care. And I also don't imagine that she failed to mention said animals to him.


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## Guest (Feb 20, 2014)

nehimama said:


> It was absolutely necessary for my survival that it mean nothing to me! I'm always the one who's on the hurting end of this carp! At the very least, this time, *I* did not get hurt!!!
> 
> Or. . . . . . did you want to read that I threw myself down on the ground & cried my eyes out???? Well, I didn't!


After re-reading your OP, I can see where it might be reasonable to conclude that you didn't really like the guy all that much anyway...and so what difference did it make if he left in a snit? 

OTOH, him leaving IN A SNIT just confirms that you were right to not be in too deep...


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## brewswain (Dec 31, 2006)

nehimama is a sweetie


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## Oxankle (Jun 20, 2003)

Perfectly decent people get hurt when suitors don't work out. Sometimes it is best to just say "I'm sorry" and start over. Tears don't help--understanding might. 

I certainly did not mean to criticize or offend--only to analyze. Why do YOU think the man left? 

By the way; if his leaving hurt as you imply, why not tell him so? If you were really interested, did he know it?
Ox


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## willow_girl (Dec 7, 2002)

Fifteen years ago, last time I was dating, I had a fellow I was seeing drop by the house one weekend morning while I was working in my garden. He asked me what I wanted to do that day. I said, "You're looking at it." And realized he was NOT the one for me!

Don't give up .. be open to the possibilities ... but no need to try so hard, either. Remember,

[YOUTUBE]dhekXBbOo_Q[/YOUTUBE]


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## ceresone (Oct 7, 2005)

I came home real late one winter day, with a storm moving in, and chores to do--+ a friend waiting to visit!! I HAD to do chores! She jumped right in, and helped me!!! That's the only kind of friend to have--and I think this applies to a SO!!
I've never forgotten what a load she helped share--and If he had been someone you would have wanted, he would have asked what he could do...


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## Oxankle (Jun 20, 2003)

Ceresone has a point, Nehi. You may be better off without the fellow,whatever his reason for leaving. 
Ox


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## doingitmyself (Jul 30, 2013)

Everyone knows you can't go out and play until you get your chores done! Silly man should have watered and fed the goats and puppies while you cleaned the feed buckets, and threw done some new straw. :bash: Then then everybody would be happy!

At least tell me he had his own gas money!! LOLOL I remember you telling us about the flake asking for $$ money!!! LOLOL


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

You're right, DIM! And, yes, he had his own gas money - LOL!


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## Ardie/WI (May 10, 2002)

My guess is that he is a city person with no concept of country living! When Nehi put her livestock's welfare before his, he felt offended. Oh well!

Nehi, keep in mind my motto from the old days of dating: "Next??".


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## goatlady (May 31, 2002)

SOOOO glad for you, gal, that you finally realized YOU are just fine as you are! NOW you can really begin to live and enjoy life at YOUR choosing and timing. It really is a great life and good things do seem to happen once a person accepts wholehartedly their situation AND learn to be a peace with it.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

A lot of people SAY they like Farm, say they like Country Life, but they don't know anything more than standing on concrete and petting the pony. Some people say ANYTHING to try to fit ANYBODY into their empty place within themselves.

I have respect for the men who show keen interest until we get to livestock and firewood. The disappointment shows as he realizes I am not the woman for him. A man's got to know his limitations, and a gentlemen doesn't try to fake what he isn't. Neither does a lady.

Don't let anyone try to suck the joy out of your life or distract you from what you love. Nobody is living your life but YOU. I know some males have gotten upset by my #1 chiseled in stone rule. I don't date townies. At my age, if you ain't out here doing it, you ain't gonna. I don't want to change you.


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