# Do Horses Grieve? Any Ideas to Help?



## Elie May

I had two horses and the older one died about 2 weeks ago. I'm no expert on horses. I just love to watch them and enjoy visiting with them. I do not ride. I guess they are just my well loved pasture pals. I always said I was running a retirement home for horses. 
The one that died was around 26 years old. I had gotten her from a feed store man that was loading her up to take to auction. The gelding that I have left is probably about 15 years old. He is really missing his friend. 
Do you have any suggestions as to how long the grieving will last? I really don't want to get another horse. Would a goat or something smaller work? 
He can see all the chickens and he visits with my dogs. But he stands there and he looks so lonely. I just remember how content the two horses looked as they grazed all day and swam in the pond. They just used to seem so happy. 
Does anyone have any ideas?


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## Irish Pixie

Horses most definitely grieve. It broke my heart watching a mare try to "wake up" her born dead foal and she called for him for a couple of weeks. Even thinking about it makes me tear up. :Bawling:


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## DragonFlyFarm

Oh Elie, I'm sorry  Hard to loose a friend, harder to watch your gelding missing his buddy. What do you think about mini's? I know it's still a horse, but they eat less and around here people give them away. Irish, your story made me tear up too


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## Minelson

Very sad subject indeed. Brings tears to my eyes remembering how my 2 horses grieved over the loss of BoBo (german shepherd) They both stood at the spot he was killed with their heads hanging for days. Joey even laid down on the exact spot. It took 2 months before they perked up.


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## where I want to

They do and it takes time. The strength of the bond varies so he may be better in a week or two. But a single horse always has some adapting to so- some do and some don't.
If you really like a pair and can do it, maybe getting him a new companion? Maybe foster a horse from a rescue group? Let someone retire their old horse with you?


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## Huntinfamily

They are herd animals and their herd is their family. They most definitely grieve and it is probably doubly hard on your gelding because he lost his herd mate and only companion.


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## ar_wildflower

I think a smaller animal would be okay. A mini is a good idea. We have one horse and she was fond of our 4 sheep and when we got new bottle calves she stayed right next to their stalls and watched over them for the first couple of weeks.


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## wolffeathers

If you only had the two, it may not just be grief but genuine loneliness as well.

Try a mini, a goat or some sheep. I have a gelding who is particularly fond of the goats, despite having fellow horses. 

Horse rescues are often overrun with pasture companion horses too. I know you said you weren't particularly interested in another horse. 

At age 15, he has quite a bit of life left in him, if he's trained you may be able to find him a home with other horses.


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## Stonybrook

Oh, my goodness yes. When I had to euth my old gelding, his BFF of 26 years was devestated. She stook over his grave for weeks. She finally quit standing over his grave, but was overtly depressed and wanting company. I finally got her a pony after about 6 months. She just wasn't adjusting very well.


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## goodhors

Can you ride or work the gelding you still have? At times, just getting them going in some "busy work activity" can focus the attention away from being alone. 

Getting a companion can be helpful, but I find the folks who get the minis, let them eat too much and cause health issues to the mini. They are SO EASY to overfeed, it is hard not to overfeed unless they are kept on a dry lot 23 hours, 45 minutes a day!

A larger pony, another horse, can be a better "companion friend", because they are able to be kept together for grazing and dry lot time, without getting overfat or foundered with too much good food. I just never leave any equine "out in the field" 24 hours of the day, all the time. Half day off grass in a dry lot or stalled, WILL help prevent a lot of health problems.

If you can work the single horse, give him other things to do, keeping him as a single animal is workable. Yes horses PREFER being in groups, but they can manage well if kept as a single horse too. Not everyone can afford to keep two animals, or has enough room for two. So their single horse is well kept, does fine. No, I don't think even if he is a herd animal, that keeping him alone is "cruel" or unkind horse keeping.

Just like with people, giving him time to grieve, then get over his loss, will help. Did he get to sniff over his friend after he died? We find that helps greatly, with the equine left, working thru the situation in their mind. With old friends being suddenly parted, one put down then quickly buried, the other one goes into a worried frenzy, makes themselves sick. Too often in that case, the second one colics badly, ends up being put down as well. The sniff over time REALLY helps, grief seems to be shorter as well, while horse STAYS CALM about it all. They know and accept death as part of life, when you show them the dead friend. We have lost a couple foals over the years. We left the mare in with the foal until she walks away to graze or eat hay, stays away for like an hour or more. Then we remove the foal and bury it. She still misses it, but doesn't run wildly around or fight trying to return where she left it, to find it again like they will with a live baby. She grieves, but has accepted that baby is dead, not protective of it anymore. 

Being only 15yrs, gelding probably still has a lot of lifetime ahead of him, should be used if possible to keep him fit, mentally stimulated. Enjoy your time with him, things always look better from the back of a horse! Or Drive him, which is fun because you NEVER get saddle sore and can carry a BIG lunch and friends with you!!


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## Elie May

He never got to see her after she died. The vet put her down at his clinic and then we had to bury her at the horse sanctuary in town. He knew she was very sick. When she got sick we found her in the barn and he was trying to pull her up by biting her harness and lifting her head. I never knew a horse would be smart enough to do that. 

To add to the misery of this story, this weekend some folks brought in 7 horses and put them in the pasture catty-corner from use. He now stands at the corner of the fence looking and calling over to them. I think it's worse today, than it has been since she died.

I took him out and bathed him and loved on him this weekend. I'm trying to give him extra attention. I do not ride. I was injured by this horse very badly and never have had the courage to get back on him. I broke 7 ribs and never really have gotten over the fear. We are friends now, but no I can't ride him.

My heart breaks for him, looking out at him from my window and he just stands there calling to the new horses.


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## secuono

Our neighbor had 3 horses on the pasture next to us, my two could get nose to nose with them. One day, the three vanished, my two still ran up, calling whenever they thought they heard the trio. It took months before they finally realized that those horses weren't coming back.
My pony misses my mare every time I remove her from his pasture. He stands or paces, calling to her. Next day he's w/e about it, but he gets sad about her leaving every time and gets so excited when she gets to join him. 
I'd be out there with him as much as you can, grooming, ground working him or just find something to do out there to keep him company.


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## AugustRED

I would try a wethered goat, worked like a charm when I was down to one pony for a while. A plus is they'll often eat the brushier pasture growth that the horses avoid...
As for the grieving it's heartbreaking to watch, especially when you're also grieving for the loss. We had to put down my brother's mare in December & my black mare who had been best buds with her for 6+yrs would spend most of her day just standing at the corner of the pasture looking towards where Molly had been euthanized & buried. I brought home a new horse a couple days later that I'd had boarded elsewhere because I just couldn't stand it. Annie still doesn't seem the same but at least she's carried on with life...


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## d'vash

How about offering self-care boarding or renting out the paddock and/or barn or a single stall? Your horse will have a companion, and you will have some extra income too.


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