# what men look for?....guys help me out here



## wildhorse (Oct 22, 2006)

OK gotta get this streight..I am not Barbie..I am not rich..not an angel and don't pretend to be. How much
value do men place on a woman that sees you as you are and accepts you as you are that is willing to hold your hand and stand by your side thru the good bad and down right ugly that this world throws at you and is willing to work with you?


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## Guest (Oct 17, 2012)

I've said, ever since I came here, all I want is to be accepted for myself. And, if it's not too much to ask, not be lied to. Women seem to think thats code or something, I guess. Who knows?


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Boys dont like gurls unless they pull your hair.


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## Guest (Oct 17, 2012)

You so crazy fowler. I put you in wikipedia this morning.


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

I would answer but I am too busy laughing at the original post.


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## simi-steading (Sep 27, 2012)

I'm not single, but spent the majority of my adult life looking for that exact woman... and finally found her the third marriage and I can't tell you how many GF's later... 

All men are different... Some want a barbie. Some want a woman that does as he commands... Some want a woman that cow tows to him, and then there are some of us that want a best friend for life... 

To me, that is the most important thing to find in a woman. Someone who stands by you, who is supportive of you, and asks for your support and opinion, and respects it.. (or rejects it at times ) Someone who is there through thick and thin leaning against your back as you lean against theirs keeping each other propped up... 

That kind of woman is not easy to find, and, as I'm sure as many single women looking for a man with those same qualities has found.. It's a rare breed. Especially any more. But when you do find that person, you really need to let them know and give them the respect and support they deserve.

I've found you have to navigate through a whole lot of nuts and flakes to find the prize at the bottom of the box.. .

The most important thing is, be yourself, and don't change for anyone. More importantly, don't ask anyone to conform to what you want in a mate..If they aren't who you are looking for, they never will be no matter how much you want them to be.


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## Darren (May 10, 2002)

wildhorse said:


> OK gotta get this streight..I am not Barbie..I am not rich..not an angel and don't pretend to be. How much
> value do men place on a woman that sees you as you are and accepts you as you are that is willing to hold your hand and stand by your side thru the good bad and down right ugly that this world throws at you and is willing to work with you?


That is THE question. I've seen serial womanizers that had steak at home and spent a lifetime gobbling hamburgers. Either consciously or unconsciously folks in a relationship start focusing on the negativity to justify their feelings and ultimate intentions if they're on the way out.

If there isn't anything negative, it'll be made up. 

And the answer is: for those that really love their partner it means a llot. For those that don't ... nothing.


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

Ok, I have pulled myself together: 

Get some cats.


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## Darren (May 10, 2002)

Fowler said:


> Boys dont like gurls unless they pull your hair.


Is that cheetohs I smell on your breath? Let me see your hands.


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## simi-steading (Sep 27, 2012)

Yeah Darren.. I got really lucky and landed someone elses' table scraps.. I wouldn't trade her for a different cut of beef every night.. .I'm pretty fond of Filet Mignon...:banana:


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## wildhorse (Oct 22, 2006)

Hair pulling ain't that bad..long as he could put up with me pushing him face first into cow pie...if he needs it...and the Guy I'm seeing gave me his cat...lol


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

OK WH, Im gonna break your op down to some basic elements.

You say you are not Barbie. My question is. Just how long, or how old do you all get before you quit thinking we men have quit thinking about Barbie, Much less landing some remotely like her. I quit thinking about any kind of Barbie when I hit 50
Alla you, I dare say, or at least most of you have something that is G R E AAAAAAAAAAAAA T. Accentuate on that gift. Use it to your advantage.
You said in your op. (What do you guys LOOK for). Thats the idea. We guys are all LOOKING for something. Its always somewhat different in each of us, BUT since theres only so many parts of a good woman to be admired, We guys have to double team up on the parts that will make us take notice.

NOW,
How are we guys gonna know that a certain woman is gonna ( see us for what we are), and accepts us as we are). Thats not always a good thing. I imagine a good many have been taken for A RIDE LOL by accepting men as they are.

How does a guy KNOW that a certain woman is willing to hold your hand, and stand by your side through the good, the bad, and the down right ugly and is willing to work with you, ect, ect , ect.

IF I could have known that ANY particular person WAS as you describe, I likely could have been with someone for the last quarter century.
BUT, since I dont, I DONT.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Darren said:


> Is that cheetohs I smell on your breath? Let me see your hands.


~hiding hands behind back~ 

NO!...cant make me!!


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## Guest (Oct 17, 2012)

What are you saying, Bill?? You don't think a woman would lie to you, do you? Come on!! Women? Deceptive?? Say you're just kidding!


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## Sourdough (Dec 28, 2011)

wildhorse said:


> OK gotta get this streight..I am not Barbie..I am not rich..not an angel and don't pretend to be. How much
> value do men place on a woman that sees you as you are and accepts you as you are that is willing to hold your hand and stand by your side thru the good bad and down right ugly that this world throws at you and is willing to work with you?


The "Older" a man is the more important compatibly is. And the less important the physical package is. Now screaming "Double-Butt" ugly, could be a deal killer; However the ability to shoot straight, and reload quickly will out'weigh even Butt'Ugly.


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## unregistered168043 (Sep 9, 2011)

wildhorse said:


> How much
> value do men place on a woman that sees you as you are and accepts you as you are that is willing to hold your hand and stand by your side thru the good bad and down right ugly that this world throws at you and is willing to work with you?


Alot! Now the question is....are you willing to go for that short, bald guy who will do the same? If not then you have to ask yourself if you hold up to your own expectations.


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

Sourdough said:


> The "Older" a man is the more important compatibly is. And the less important the physical package is. Now screaming "Double-Butt" ugly, could be a deal killer; However the ability to shoot straight, and reload quickly will out'weigh even Butt'Ugly.


Hell hath frozen over. I agree with this. The big secret kept from us women is the men around the age of 60. THAT is when they become cool.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Raven12 said:


> Hell hath frozen over. I agree with this. The big secret kept from us women is the men around the age of 60. THAT is when they become cool.


I double butt ugly that!!!!


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## wildhorse (Oct 22, 2006)

Darntootin said:


> Alot! Now the question is....are you willing to go for that short, bald guy who will do the same? If not then you have to ask yourself if you hold up to your own expectations.


Hehe been there done that.... money was more important to him...he left me and our son for a nurse...that made more money...


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

wildhorse said:


> OK gotta get this streight..I am not Barbie..I am not rich..not an angel and don't pretend to be. How much
> value do men place on a woman that sees you as you are and accepts you as you are that is willing to hold your hand and stand by your side thru the good bad and down right ugly that this world throws at you and is willing to work with you?


All angel's and fairies have hidden horns under their halos and wings. It's what makes us sweet and mischievous and sometimes naughty...LOL:angel:


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## Darren (May 10, 2002)

Fowler said:


> All angel's and fairies have hidden horns under their halos and wings. It's what makes us sweet and mischievous and sometimes naughty...LOL:angel:


Fool me once ... LOL.


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## wildhorse (Oct 22, 2006)

Biggest deal breaker for me is to be lied to I'd rather be hurt by the truth.As far as physical appearance goes I like men that take pride in keeping clean..but aren't afraid to get good and dirty and I'm a sucker for beautiful eyes and cowboy butts....


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## MoonRiver (Sep 2, 2007)

Raven12 said:


> Hell hath frozen over. I agree with this. The big secret kept from us women is the men around the age of 60. THAT is when they become cool.


I guess I'm way cool then.


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## Groene Pionier (Apr 23, 2009)

Double-Buttugly!!! and we aren't allowed to have guns here :sob:


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

MoonRiver said:


> I guess I'm way cool then.


Dang right you are. 

The more mature men seem to truly appreciate women and understand life better. They have a handle on it all.


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## tinknal (May 21, 2004)

wildhorse said:


> OK gotta get this streight..I am not Barbie..I am not rich..not an angel and don't pretend to be. How much
> value do men place on a woman that sees you as you are and accepts you as you are that is willing to hold your hand and stand by your side thru the good bad and down right ugly that this world throws at you and is willing to work with you?


I would say down right priceless....................

Looking back I should have ran screaming over some of the "innocent" little statements my ex made early in our relationship. I had the "love blinders" on.


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

If I like you,,,,,You will know it.....


There are cats I hate...& there are cats I love....They have no doubts.....


??????short hairs....Fowler????????

I also like me


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## Sourdough (Dec 28, 2011)

tinknal said:


> I had the "love blinders" on.


Not sure if that helps with "Safe" Sex.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

I think when two people settle down they should be mature enough at that point that they are not going to play games, they are going to take you and themselves as you both are, they love you and themselves as you both are, you both work to form a strong team and refine that teamwork as you go along, you share values and goals in common, and you lay all your card on the table. 

I mention people being willing to love themselves as they are because there is nothing more frustrating then trying to love a woman who hates herself. It is no fun to tell a woman that she look lovely and their response is to get angry and say that she is fat, her butt is too big, or whatever crap they are going to beat themselves up over. It is also frustrating when someone tries to love you but you can not receive that love because you are too busy disliking yourself or feeling useless and ugly.


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## wildhorse (Oct 22, 2006)

City Bound said:


> I mention people being willing to love themselves as they are because there is nothing more frustrating then trying to love a woman who hates herself. It is no fun to tell a woman that she look lovely and their response is to get angry and say that she is fat, her butt is too big, or whatever crap they are going to beat themselves up over. It is also frustrating when someone tries to love you but you can not receive that love because you are too busy disliking yourself or feeling useless and ugly.


That's a very valid point Cb I would have to agree although
it can be a bit difficult to accept a complement you may not see it .


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

My Xs liked feeling Useless. Lot less work involved.


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## TNHermit (Jul 14, 2005)

For at least 40 years i have heard woman talk scream and yell how they don't need no ---- man. They could do it all. Even now how many here and around proclaim the same thing. 

Men got tired of working their ass off and having everything taken from them. Tired of hearing nothing but whining when they tried to do something or did try. I know lots of them that worked like crazy were good husbands ,fathers ,gave their family everything. 

And a lot of us got tired of it. Just walks away and let them scream

Esther Vilar wrote a good book that explains a lot. Google it.

Go on any social sites,facebook, and look at the signs or what ever you want to call them that young chicks are putting up on their site. i got 7 granddaughters that tell men they can go preform exotic sex acts on themselves and then set around an ***** cause they can't find a good man. Encouraged by their mother and grand mother.
I don't even go to the site anymore

Gettin golder it all of a sudden dawns on them that they can't do it all and suddenly a little security comes into play and the old ways and values come back to life

The worm has turned I got nothing to lose


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## wildhorse (Oct 22, 2006)

I have learned the hard way to appreciate who men are and what they do I have been both mom and dad to my children and I have given it my best shot..but a woman can not fill a mans shoes.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

L.A. said:


> If I like you,,,,,You will know it.....
> 
> 
> There are cats I hate...& there are cats I love....They have no doubts.....
> ...


I would like to point out my kitty is MIA, and the cheetos are gone too


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

"go perorm exotic sex acts on themselves"? telling the men to bug off or bragging how good they are pleasing themselves that they do not need a man?

Relations between men and women are all messed up in america.


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## wildhorse (Oct 22, 2006)

Bondage really Cb ....Haha...there just went my train of thought.....


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

haha, I deleted all that stuff, it was too distracting and thread drift. Wild horse you are a naughty girl that alone should have flocks of men knocking at your door.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

City Bound said:


> "go perorm exotic sex acts on themselves"? telling the men to bug off or bragging how good they are pleasing themselves that they do not need a man?
> 
> Relations between men and women are all messed up in america.


WT....Heck?


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## TNHermit (Jul 14, 2005)

City Bound said:


> "go perorm exotic sex acts on themselves"? telling the men to bug off or bragging how good they are pleasing themselves that they do not need a man?
> 
> Relations between men and women are all messed up in america.


Telling men to bug off. the woman showing she was "liberated"

I can't tell to this day. how many times i have sat with a woman after they agree to a homestead type lifestyle and want to be together. And you say Ok lets come up with a plan. What do you see, what do you want to do. And the answer you get is "i don't know but i don't want to do what you want to do" you tell me how your suppose to work with that???
Woman don't know if they want to be women or men anymore. All this "equality talk" has got them so screwed up that they can't understand there is a reason there is a difference in men and women.

ya got a thread around how woman multiply. NO thought that men do the same thing. Just a constant battle to prove who is better.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

City Bound said:


> haha, I deleted all that stuff, it was too distracting and thread drift. Wild horse you are a naughty girl that alone should have flocks of men knocking at your door.



I just threw up in my throat a little, it really burns.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

hermit, you have some good ideas. maybe you should start a thread on it.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

don't barf fowler.


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## wildhorse (Oct 22, 2006)

Cb I do try to behave....Fowler I am sorry may I get you some pepto?


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Darren where's my cheetos and my kitty?


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

WH It seems to me your saying that you cant understand how a really good person dosent somehow show that quality enough that men should see it, BUT since they obviously dont, your wondering as I understand your post what else a great person can do to make that quality come to light so it isnt wasted on the wrong men.


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## Darren (May 10, 2002)

Is that the one that smells like Cheetos?


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## wildhorse (Oct 22, 2006)

Just trying to see things from a man point of view I grew up without a father or any brothers. Y'all please forgive me if I have offended anyone I just say what I'm thinking.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

....moved comment to another thread....pardon me ...cuse..me..


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

wildhorse said:


> Just trying to see things from a man point of view I grew up without a father or any brothers. Y'all please forgive me if I have offended anyone I just say what I'm thinking.


you said nothing needing apologies.

To answer your question in the op. I think it means the most to a man who has matured, because what you described is all we need and all we need to give.


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## TNHermit (Jul 14, 2005)

City Bound said:


> hermit, you have some good ideas. maybe you should start a thread on it.


 LOL i got enough people gunning for me now. This is starting to come up in more and more places and was predicted long ago.

if the woman would jump in with ideas and not criticism they would find some very devoted men. Men want someone they can bounce ideas and talk about ideas with. Without getting a lot of grief. Ya get that enough on the job and here LOL

i was always asking for opinions and ideas till i finally learned it was a contest.

i said it here before. "how can two people arrive at he same destination with out having the same vision" i got a bunch of SA answers. But I didn't say identical visions. Just the same


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

CB trying to be serious, Fowler not letting him....LOL

[youtube]EtV1uKjhMRk[/youtube]


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

ID ALWAYS ask my X questions about the farm. They would say. Its YOUR farm. This is what YOU wanted to do. Dont ask me. I got no idea how to run a farm Ive got enough to do running a house LOL lol


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## wildhorse (Oct 22, 2006)

FarmboyBill said:


> ID ALWAYS ask my X questions about the farm. They would say. Its YOUR farm. This is what YOU wanted to do. Dont ask me. I got no idea how to run a farm Ive got enough to do running a house LOL lol


My ex always made me mad I'd do a job with spade ,shovel and wheelbarrow if he had the job to do he would go get daddy's backhoe ..


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## Sourdough (Dec 28, 2011)

wildhorse said:


> Just trying to see things from a man point of view.


It is very easy.........take your camera and hold it where your two legs meet, and start taking video. You will see things from a "mans point of view".


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## wildhorse (Oct 22, 2006)

Sourdough said:


> It is very easy.........take your camera and hold it where your two legs meet, and start taking video. You will see things from a "mans point of view".


Actually had a rather nice picture taken when I had a hcp done....If that is there pov...at least it is a pretty one...lol


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## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

:donut:

HCP?

What in the world?

Hamster Cheek Pouch?

Hard Core Pornography?

Health Care Professional?

Heater Coolant Pump?

Ham Cheese and Pickles?

What?

Geez ...

:donut:


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

My apologies to EVERYONE! The "Women Multiply" post was NEVER meant to be an attack on or to put down ANY of the fine, honest, hard-working men here.I would not DO that - I think of you guys as my friends. Instead, it was meant as a joke - see the last couple of sentences "So - if you give her carp, you'll receive a ton of (feces)." THAT was the funny part, or so *I* thought. I know well & good that many of us here HAVE given our all in past relationships, only to feel the sting of being unappreciated - you men as well as the ladies. My heart goes out to ALL OF US. We're ALL in this together.


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## Guest (Oct 18, 2012)

Welp, I just read this whole thread and I can see exactly why everybody here is single. Too dam much complaining, not enough trying.
Maybe it was you, maybe it was the spouse, doing the complaining and not trying.


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## willow_girl (Dec 7, 2002)

> Alot! Now the question is....are you willing to go for that short, bald guy who will do the same?


LOL ... I am married to a short, bald(ing) guy who treats me like a queen! 

And in my eyes, he's a king!


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## Prismseed (Sep 14, 2009)

> Welp, I just read this whole thread and I can see exactly why everybody here is single. Too dam much complaining, not enough trying.
> Maybe it was you, maybe it was the spouse, doing the complaining and not trying.


Do you fall into this category as well?


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## wildhorse (Oct 22, 2006)

glazed said:


> :donut:
> 
> HCP?
> 
> ...


A piercing lol


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## Guest (Oct 18, 2012)

Prismseed said:


> Do you fall into this category as well?


If my wife hadn't died from medical incompetence, I wouldn't be here. Widows and widowers who stuck it out and realized that life was not a dream, and that there is no such thing as unicorns have a substantially different viewpoint about the validity of leaving a spouse because she's not your "ideal love" I understand that to have a real relationship, there's going to be a whole lot of give and take. More giving than taking. In the "good" relationship, I gave until she was happy. And, she did too. We both felt we'd made great sacrifices. And we both were happy with the result. Since then, I feel like I'm in a rigged game because nobody I've met has any notion of giving at all. And I'm sure I just didn't meet the "right one" That's another load, too, the "right one" When nobody is willing to make any sacrifice at all, there will never be a "right one". 
And you take that to the bank. If you get a more fitting revelation than that one, I'll buy it from you.


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## Guest (Oct 18, 2012)

Here's a little bit more, because i'm in and out a lot today.
I wasn't "just lucky"
We first got together when she was 23 and I was 30, it didn't work. Because we didn'y try hard enough.
Years later, she was 44, I was 51. She had matured to the point she was willing to give up a lot of BS for something real. And so was I. 

That's what bothers me when I see so many people burning their bridges behind them. It's a serious mistake to make, but everybody's proud to make it, seems like. You just put yourself in a position where you can't get back home.

But, anyway, she was 44, I was 51. We learned something. You don't just luck into a perfect relationship. You *work* at it. Like growing a garden. You don't just plant it and watch it grow. You work at it. And don't be looking at Martha Stewart's garden and wondering why hers is so nice and yours isn't.


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## wildhorse (Oct 22, 2006)

Zong I am sorry for your loss I didn't know. I tryed to make my marriage work but there are somethings that no one should have to go through.


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## Guest (Oct 18, 2012)

There's nothing to be sorry about. It's just life the way it happened. We were the most unlikely couple you'd ever see. She didn't understand half of what I talk about, she'd laugh and say "I don't know what he's saying, but I love to see him say it" She watched TV. She didn't "get" the internet. She got all tied up in family drama. I just don't want to know about that stuff. 

And we argued, too. Thing is, we liked each other enough that we saw that as most important. So, when we argued or disagreed, we didn't decide it was over. We worked out whatever we had to work out. She watched TV in the living room. I had computer set up in the den. She answered the phone and did her drama talk in there, I had a cell phone (which rarely rang) in here. See? It was more important for us to get along than it was for either of us to be "right"


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## Prismseed (Sep 14, 2009)

That sounds like a good balance of together time and apart time.


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