# Question for folks who live alone



## NRA_guy (Jun 9, 2015)

I am happily married but . . . 

Last week, I had an itchy place in the upper middle of my back. I could just barely touch it with the tip of my thumb. I could kind of see it using a handheld mirror reflecting in the wall-mounted bathroom mirror. I thought it was a tick and it was. There was no way I could get to it with tweezers. Rubbing alcohol didn't seem to affect him. My wife kindly removed it with tweezers.

This morning, I am experiencing the very same thing (a tick) about 5 inches from the previous tick. No way I can remove it. Now I am waiting on my wife to wake up and remove it.

My question is how do folks who live alone do things that require a second person (not just tick on the back removal)?

I imagine there are things like moving heavy furniture, or driving you to the doctor when you get sick, that make the single life difficult.


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## GTX63 (Dec 13, 2016)

My grandfather would have taped a lit kitchen match to the end of a wooden 12" ruler, killed the tick and started an unfiltered cigarette.


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## robin416 (Dec 29, 2019)

I had the same tick issue. I used a ruler to scrape it off. 

But as a single woman I do admit that there can be difficult issues I face. Furniture moving I've got down to a science. Know what a drywall jack is? Most of the time it involves a short piece of 2X4, raise the heavy furniture enough to slide the furniture glide things under the legs. 

I've learned all kinds of tricks to do things even some men would find challenging. Hubs wondered sometimes when he'd see me. But if it worked, I didn't get hurt then it was no big deal.

If I have to have surgery type stuff, I pay a neighbor (who gives up her day off) to take me.


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## starrynights (Oct 7, 2021)

robin416 said:


> I had the same tick issue. I used a ruler to scrape it off.
> 
> But as a single woman I do admit that there can be difficult issues I face. Furniture moving I've got down to a science. Know what a drywall jack is? Most of the time it involves a short piece of 2X4, raise the heavy furniture enough to slide the furniture glide things under the legs.
> 
> ...


I do really well alone. I have a person I know really well clean this apt every Monday. All the things that I can't do because of my back. It's expensive but I am picky on my living quarters and figure it's worth it. This person does an almost perfect job. I clean my own bathroom except the floor. When I was younger and married and on rescue I also had a team come in once a week to clean. I drive myself to places I need to go to. I confess to almost 100% of shopping (household items and so on) I do online. I really hate to shop in stores and always have.


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## TxGypsy (Nov 23, 2006)

Friends with benefits 😉
Just couldn't help myself 😂

I've not had physical help from a partner in a long time. Lots of unhelpful supervision but no help 😒 Up until the kidney transplant I was as strong as a man so it wasn't a big deal. Front end loader on a tractor is something I don't want to be without. 
On things like a tick.... I'd ask whoever was available. That's one of those things that has to be done or you can get sick. It's something I'd do for someone else. Probably I'd ask an ex if either were available.


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## TxGypsy (Nov 23, 2006)

starrynights said:


> I do really well alone. I have a person I know really well clean this apt every Monday. All the things that I can't do because of my back. It's expensive but I am picky on my living quarters and figure it's worth it. This person does an almost perfect job. I clean my own bathroom except the floor. When I was younger and married and on rescue I also had a team come in once a week to clean. I drive myself to places I need to go to. I confess to almost 100% of shopping (household items and so on) I do online. I really hate to shop in stores and always have.


I am reevaluating my plans because of this sort of thing.
Moving out of my house then driving down here has me in bed not wanting to move.....since Tuesday. Going up the stairs is a challenge. 
Here in Mexico I can easily hire help of all kinds. Everywhere delivers... even fresh juice bars. 
I'm 10 months post transplant and 6 months post double nephrectomy. If I don't improve some more there is no way I can live by myself on a farm.


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## starrynights (Oct 7, 2021)

TxMex said:


> I am reevaluating my plans because of this sort of thing.
> Moving out of my house then driving down here has me in bed not wanting to move.....since Tuesday. Going up the stairs is a challenge.
> Here in Mexico I can easily hire help of all kinds. Everywhere delivers... even fresh juice bars.
> I'm 10 months post transplant and 6 months post double nephrectomy. If I don't improve some more there is no way I can live by myself on a farm.


I feel your pain. There are days I can just walk and then the next day I can walk almost normally. You have more going on it seems than I do. I don't own property anymore and i miss it but i know I am better off this way. I know since I have the level of pain that I do, that i never want to be responsible for any other living thing like a pet. It's just not doable. What do you think your future plans will be? I want to be in the OBX on the ocean and have sorta found a place for year round...still chewing it over. It's really just what I want. I wish for you to feel better; if I could, I'd try to help you out --- might be good for a laugh...


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## starrynights (Oct 7, 2021)

I feel your pain. There are days I can just walk and then the next day I can walk almost normally. You have more going on it seems than I do. I don't own property anymore and i miss it but i know I am better off this way. I know since I have the level of pain that I do, that i never want to be responsible for any other living thing like a pet. It's just not doable. What do you think your future plans will be? I want to be in the OBX on the ocean and have sorta found a place for year round...still chewing it over. It's really just what I want. I wish for you to feel better; if I could, I'd try to help you out --- might be good for a laugh...


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## Forcast (Apr 15, 2014)

Speaking of pain management, has anyone had problems getting pain meds since covid started? I have been without for a year. Started with doc office wanting negative covid tests within a few days of apointment, not doable in my area. Then going to every 3 week scripts with apointment . totally undoable . 1.5 hrs each way and cost of visit just insane.


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## NRA_guy (Jun 9, 2015)

Wow! I never thought about the kinds of things y'all mention! I was thinking about things like when I installed an over-the-air TV antenna (because I am cutting the cable), I had to climb a ladder to point the antenna, come down and check the picture on the TV, go back up and tweak the antenna. It would have been nice to have my wife on the phone inside the house advising me. (But I didn't want to bother her.)

I truly sympathize with y'all who live alone and have medical issues. I pray that you will do well in your trying circumstances.


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

i always have the crowbar handy for lifting and whatnot. i'm an old hand at it though. i've likely figured most of it out by this time. i've been alone so long . i was alone even when i had a husband. i hurt my back a month or so ago when i was beating ice around the car. that's all cleared up now.

vacumning i find hard so my son decided he was going to do it . he's retired now(at my insistence) although he wasn't making anything anyway time he paid for gas and days when it was raining etc.so he's in every week. 

he also does all my carpentry and whatnot. although i give him money every month it's nothing compared to what i would have to pay to hire someone. i have never had a tick but i had to take one off him one time. ~Georgia


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## starrynights (Oct 7, 2021)

so far no change in meds of DR visits. The only pain med i take is Motrin and it works great.


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## robin416 (Dec 29, 2019)

It is what it is for those of us that live alone. We adapt or we have to do something different. At 71 I still do almost everything for myself as I mentioned above.

My back muscles are still knotted up from reworking my big quail pen this last week. The Shiatsu is getting used a bunch. It also took me longer because my heart doc said "don't do that" because the heart throws tantrums. I've figured out to work around that restriction too.

@TxMex The loader on my tractor made the investment so worth it for me. Now when I cut down trees I don't have to tote the trees by hand to my burn area to burn. Heavy stuff in the bed of my truck gets put in the loader then taken to where I want it. 

@Forcast I haven't had any need for pain medication outside of ibuprofen so I can't answer your question. Although I know with the overdoses happening many docs are required to dispense a low amount unless you're suffering from a serious illness.


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## TxGypsy (Nov 23, 2006)

starrynights said:


> I feel your pain. There are days I can just walk and then the next day I can walk almost normally. You have more going on it seems than I do. I don't own property anymore and i miss it but i know I am better off this way. I know since I have the level of pain that I do, that i never want to be responsible for any other living thing like a pet. It's just not doable. What do you think your future plans will be? I want to be in the OBX on the ocean and have sorta found a place for year round...still chewing it over. It's really just what I want. I wish for you to feel better; if I could, I'd try to help you out --- might be good for a laugh...


I own several properties and trying to find someone to maintain them is nearly impossible. I may have hit on a solution. RV spaces are in demand. Lots of folks can't afford rent and are moving into RVs. I have a nice RV space on one of the properties and easy potential for 2 more. I have the one rented. Since it is long term I make them responsible for mowing the grass😁
I think I may have messed up on the pet thing. I went without a dog while waiting to receive a transplant. I have ended up with 2 schnauzers that are 6 months old. I don't have the energy to play with them now that they are full size. I give them as much attention as I can but currently I don't even have the energy to give them a bath.....and they need one!
If I decide to stay here that will be no problem. I can hire a dog walker and grooming shops will come get them. 
Currently I am in a weekly rental in a gated community and in order to let someone in the gate I have to message the owner then she has to call the gate. I end up having to walk down and argue with the gate guards anyhow. I got smacked in the head with the arm that goes up and down to only allow one car at a time yesterday. Heck of a goose egg and a headache today.
I lived here for 3 years. I only moved back to the US because I had to in order to get a transplant. I'm a permanent resident of Mexico already. 
I need to have access to a transplant hospital in the US. There is an international airport here and it isn't difficult to get a straight flight. So as long as I don't test positive for covid, flying is a valid option. Where I lived in Texas it was an 8 hour drive to the nearest one.
I'm on the beach here.
LOL we might make 3/4 of a normal person 😉
One of the really difficult things is.....my weakness is caused by the immune suppressants I take. It is danged difficult to make myself take the pills when I know what they are doing to me.


Forcast said:


> Speaking of pain management, has anyone had problems getting pain meds since covid started? I have been without for a year. Started with doc office wanting negative covid tests within a few days of apointment, not doable in my area. Then going to every 3 week scripts with apointment . totally undoable . 1.5 hrs each way and cost of visit just insane.


Yes!!!!! 
I had a surgeon that is a sadist!
He did a double nephrectomy (removed both native kidneys). Basically feels like 2 large sword cuts that nearly slice you in two. He kicked me out of the hospital after 2 days! Sent me home with instructions to take Tylenol!
I hadn't gotten up to walk. Hadn't had a bowel movement. Couldn't stand the pain without morphine. The nurses appealed to him even.
It is shocking that another human being can inflict that level of pain on another! 
If anyone knows a good malpractice attorney in San Antonio I am looking for one


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## muleskinner2 (Oct 7, 2007)

Forcast said:


> Speaking of pain management, has anyone had problems getting pain meds since covid started? I have been without for a year. Started with doc office wanting negative covid tests within a few days of apointment, not doable in my area. Then going to every 3 week scripts with apointment . totally undoable . 1.5 hrs each way and cost of visit just insane.


My provider calls in the script, and my meds arrive in the mail.


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## TxGypsy (Nov 23, 2006)

muleskinner2 said:


> My provider calls in the script, and my meds arrive in the mail.


That happens with my transplant meds. They come from a specialty pharmacy.


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## Chief50 (10 mo ago)

I hav took care of everything at home.e been doing things by myself for so long I can't stand for another person to try to help me. I was raised on a small farm. My father worked in another state and I took care of everything at home. I learned how to do things by myself. Now I am an old man and I still do everything alone. I built my home all by myself. I am lucky I am in good health. I am planning to live until I am 100 years old. Then I will have to make a decision if that is enough or if I want to live longer.


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## muleskinner2 (Oct 7, 2007)

NRA_guy said:


> I am happily married but . . .
> 
> Last week, I had an itchy place in the upper middle of my back. I could just barely touch it with the tip of my thumb. I could kind of see it using a handheld mirror reflecting in the wall-mounted bathroom mirror. I thought it was a tick and it was. There was no way I could get to it with tweezers. Rubbing alcohol didn't seem to affect him. My wife kindly removed it with tweezers.
> 
> ...


I would back up to something, like a tree, rock, or door jam and rub. If something comes up that I can't do, like hold up both ends of a sixteen foot board at once, I ask a friend for help. Then when they need help, I return the favor. I removed some stiches from a friends foot, a few weeks ago. She could have done it herself, but both she and her husband are too squeamish. (Squeamish, is code for "Light weight, candy ass.") She waited two weeks longer than she should have, so I had to dig for the knots.


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## starrynights (Oct 7, 2021)

TxMex said:


> I own several properties and trying to find someone to maintain them is nearly impossible. I may have hit on a solution. RV spaces are in demand. Lots of folks can't afford rent and are moving into RVs. I have a nice RV space on one of the properties and easy potential for 2 more. I have the one rented. Since it is long term I make them responsible for mowing the grass😁
> I think I may have messed up on the pet thing. I went without a dog while waiting to receive a transplant. I have ended up with 2 schnauzers that are 6 months old. I don't have the energy to play with them now that they are full size. I give them as much attention as I can but currently I don't even have the energy to give them a bath.....and they need one!
> If I decide to stay here that will be no problem. I can hire a dog walker and grooming shops will come get them.
> Currently I am in a weekly rental in a gated community and in order to let someone in the gate I have to message the owner then she has to call the gate. I end up having to walk down and argue with the gate guards anyhow. I got smacked in the head with the arm that goes up and down to only allow one car at a time yesterday. Heck of a goose egg and a headache today.
> ...


that is terrible! He shouldn't be practicing medicine. I am sorry that happened to you.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

I seldom get ticks anymore. I guess haing chickens helps. I had a OLD back scratcher that came out of WW 1, it to moce cooties, ect. But I havnt seen it for a long while


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## Forcast (Apr 15, 2014)

Sticky lint roller on a long stick helps with ticks if they are not stuck tight yet.


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## Danaus29 (Sep 12, 2005)

@TxMex, I wish you luck in your attorney hunt. That psycho doc needs to pay!


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## Forcast (Apr 15, 2014)

Danaus29 said:


> @TxMex, I wish you luck in your attorney hunt. That psycho doc needs to pay!


Tough getting malpractice lawyer they wont take you unless multi millions are involved. I had a small clamp left in me after surgery. It was bad enough to even get it found. Lawyers said nope not enough $.


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## TxGypsy (Nov 23, 2006)

Forcast said:


> Tough getting malpractice lawyer they wont take you unless multi millions are involved. I had a small clamp left in me after surgery. It was bad enough to even get it found. Lawyers said nope not enough $.


That's horrible!!! If I was on a jury for that sort of thing I would definitely side with the patient. A clamp!
I've wondered if he botched my surgery. I've just never recovered. He for sure wasn't very competent. He released the bacteria that was in my big cyst filled kidneys. The whole point of them being removed was to prevent the new kidney from getting the chronic infection that was in my old kidneys. I had that infection for 4 months. They finally put me in the hospital when I had sepsis.


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## Shrek (May 1, 2002)

Posted 3/20/22 12:13 A.M. CDST



NRA_guy said:


> I am happily married but . . .
> 
> Last week, I had an itchy place in the upper middle of my back. I could just barely touch it with the tip of my thumb. I could kind of see it using a handheld mirror reflecting in the wall-mounted bathroom mirror. I thought it was a tick and it was. There was no way I could get to it with tweezers. Rubbing alcohol didn't seem to affect him. My wife kindly removed it with tweezers.
> 
> ...


For tick removal in hard to reach areas that my dogs don't pull out of my hide or GF pulls and doctors for me if she is here , I initially used a 16 inch long pair of surgical pick up tweezers and mirror to first kill the tick with PGA on gauze and if it didn't turn loose in it's death throes then I picked it out and used the tweezers to doctor it myself.

about 5 years ago however I built myself a robotic arm assistant station by combining a 9 volt battery powered plastic model robotic arm with 3 finger end and my 3 inch diagonal display five foot fiber optic mechanic snake camera to make out of reach procedures like that as easy as playing a video game..

When I found how well the robotic model arm I purchased for SMT component placement on circuit boards worked as a nurse, I left it and the camera as a set and ordered another arm for my repair bench and a second snake line camera for my tool box.

Bigger tasks too heavy for me, I either make mole hills of the mountain by lightening the load , get a big friend to help or look at the issue as if I am Archimedes .

This past week although I use a crutch to walk I got 3 window air conditioners out of the storage room and put into the windows by working from the inside and sitting in a chair to lift them onto slider pads on tables and my dresser by the windows then the dry day I walked about 400 yards in and out pushing from the inside and pulling from the outside and securing them in place for the next 9 months when I reverse the process.

Two years or so back I replaced my 35 year old worn out by me and the dogs sitting on it sofa and it took me 3 months to get it out of the house because it took me that long to dismantle it into small enough pieces to fit into my trash bin for weekly pick up by the trash truck as I salvaged the fold out bed frame metal for a carpenter friend to use for making corner joiners for wood planks he makes at home.

After the worn out sofa was parted out and gone , my maintenance man and I went shopping for the new one based on the door measurements of the two doors and we found a good quality sofa like the old lift slide and fold the back down with under seat storage instead of the old fold out canvas army cot full size.

Bringing it in we folded it down on a quilt and brought it through the 28 inch wide door to the living room on end instead of fighting through the whole house from the larger back door.

So how do you do stuff by yourself? A little bit longer, with common sense outside the box thinking and sometimes a little help from friends big enough to make some folks think they had a Bigfoot sighting if it's dark


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## starrynights (Oct 7, 2021)

TxMex said:


> That's horrible!!! If I was on a jury for that sort of thing I would definitely side with the patient. A clamp!
> I've wondered if he botched my surgery. I've just never recovered. He for sure wasn't very competent. He released the bacteria that was in my big cyst filled kidneys. The whole point of them being removed was to prevent the new kidney from getting the chronic infection that was in my old kidneys. I had that infection for 4 months. They finally put me in the hospital when I had sepsis.


If you haven't already I think a visit to a new Doctor is needed. Take all the records you have.


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## TxGypsy (Nov 23, 2006)

starrynights said:


> If you haven't already I think a visit to a new Doctor is needed. Take all the records you have.


That was the surgeon available at my transplant hospital. It never occurred to me to research him. He should have been a top surgeon to work for them.
I am definitely changing transplant hospitals. Care at this facility has not been good


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## Summerdaze7 (May 13, 2018)

NRA_guy said:


> I am happily married but . . .
> 
> Last week, I had an itchy place in the upper middle of my back. I could just barely touch it with the tip of my thumb. I could kind of see it using a handheld mirror reflecting in the wall-mounted bathroom mirror. I thought it was a tick and it was. There was no way I could get to it with tweezers. Rubbing alcohol didn't seem to affect him. My wife kindly removed it with tweezers.
> 
> ...


Well...I drive my own self to the Doctor, but honestly, it's been a long time since I've been REALLY sick with a bad cold/flu, etc. 

I sold all my heavy furniture. Antique couch, wing back chairs, and a 3 piece dining room set. It was beautiful, but that stuff weighed a TON! That was the main reason I sold them. 

I've found that you can do what needs doin' if you have to, it just takes longer. But if I can't, I hire someone who can. 😀

I don't know about the tick thing though...that would freak me out if I couldn't get it! 😦


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## frogmammy (Dec 8, 2004)

Sometimes, you just have to sit and stare at something for a bit...maybe drink a little coffee...before you figure out how to do what you need to do.

Mon


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## oregon woodsmok (Dec 19, 2010)

I'll concede the point. Life is a lot easier if you have a partner to help with some things. Like taking the car to the shop or getting new tires, so you don' have to sit there all day and wait in the waiting room because you don't have anyone to drive you back and forth.

I keep a new toilet brush to scratch my back with. It works perfect. For a tick, if you cover them with vasoline, they die, so if you can reach the thing with a Q-tip or something similar, you could smear vasoline on it.

I wish you hadn't brought the topic up. Now I can feel bugs crawling on my back and in my hair. Just my imagination but ticks creep me out.


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## robin416 (Dec 29, 2019)

frogmammy said:


> Sometimes, you just have to sit and stare at something for a bit...maybe drink a little coffee...before you figure out how to do what you need to do.
> 
> Mon


You've got it. Even before my husband's passing I did a lot of things by myself. It might take a day or two to puzzle it out but chances were, I'd find a solution to the problem.

Might not be an orthodox solution but if it worked then it didn't matter.


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## Summerdaze7 (May 13, 2018)

N


oregon woodsmok said:


> I'll concede the point. Life is a lot easier if you have a partner to help with some things. Like taking the car to the shop or getting new tires, so you don' have to sit there all day and wait in the waiting room because you don't have anyone to drive you back and forth.
> 
> I keep a new toilet brush to scratch my back with. It works perfect. For a tick, if you cover them with vasoline, they die, so if you can reach the thing with a Q-tip or something similar, you could smear vasoline on it.
> 
> I wish you hadn't brought the topic up. Now I can feel bugs crawling on my back and in my hair. Just my imagination but ticks creep me out.


Toilet bowl brush as a back scratcher..🤔....that's genius!!


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## TxGypsy (Nov 23, 2006)

I've got a better one. They make luffas to wash your back with. When dry they make excellent back scratchers.


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## Evons hubby (Oct 3, 2005)

NRA_guy said:


> I am happily married but . . .
> 
> Last week, I had an itchy place in the upper middle of my back. I could just barely touch it with the tip of my thumb. I could kind of see it using a handheld mirror reflecting in the wall-mounted bathroom mirror. I thought it was a tick and it was. There was no way I could get to it with tweezers. Rubbing alcohol didn't seem to affect him. My wife kindly removed it with tweezers.
> 
> ...


That’s what friends and neighbors are for.


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## adobeboxer (Jan 23, 2012)

Evons hubby said:


> That’s what friends and neighbors are for.


Goody for you if you have those.


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## geo in mi (Nov 14, 2008)

I live alone, sort of. I do have Millie, my invisible dog. At least I think so, since I can't see her. I think she's one of those _vanishing breeds_......

😄
geo


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