# Men only ....Mail order brides???



## CocalicoSprings (Mar 12, 2008)

I've been kicking the idea around.....I heard it is not as expensive as it used to be.
What do you think? good idea or bad idea?
Do you know anyone who's tried it? How did things turn out?


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## chickenslayer (Apr 20, 2010)

Never done it myself but make sure there is a money back guarantee :grin:


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## Danaus29 (Sep 12, 2005)

Know a man that "bought" a bride from his home country. He got ripped off big time!!!!! She was supposed to know how to garden and tend livestock. Instead she sleeps till noon and spends money like crazy.


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## tinknal (May 21, 2004)

Well, if I bought a gal and brought her here, she would still be the poorest girl in town. I'd be better off to move there and make her the richest girl in town.


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## Lizza (Nov 30, 2005)

I'm a woman, sorry, but my husband did know someone who "bought" a russian bride, he seemed happy for sure but was pretty sensitive about the whole thing. Also I believe she could divorce him after 2 years and still stay in the country. She didn't work at all by the way, he totally supported her and I think that was expected. If you are serious I'm sure there are internet forums.


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## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)

CocalicoSprings said:


> I've been kicking the idea around.....I heard it is not as expensive as it used to be.
> What do you think? good idea or bad idea?
> Do you know anyone who's tried it? How did things turn out?


Are you stating men only should respond? Some women might know of MOB marriages and be able to advise.

Not a man here but I'm responding anyway. I DO know of some MOB marriages amongst immigrants here. Some worked out good and some didn't. Some had to wait for years for it to go through and some the marriages didn't get to happen at all because of legal troubles or problems with customs and immigrations red tape. What nations would you be looking at for finding a MOB?

If you're seriously thinking about it I'd advise you to ask questions about it on a more _global_ forum (such as city data forum for example) to find out what kind of problems you could encounter.

Be familiar with legal issues when brokering such a marriage: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_marriage_agency#Legal_issues

.


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## plowjockey (Aug 18, 2008)

FWIW, this is how I heard it often works.

A)The mail-order bride will glady marry anybody, to get out of whatever hell-hole they are in. They may know about hard work, etc, because they have to, to survive where they are at.

B) They get married and get the U.S. green card paperwork, etc. They learn the system for wives in the U.S (from other mail order brides) and may decide that hard work is no longer that much fun. If the hubby is not a great catch (maybe even if he is), they may file for and get a divorce, with alimony, including 1/2 of all of hubby's cash and prizes.

Most couples thrive on having some type of developed connection, before a long-term commitment.

Looking a the other side, the bride could be a loser or physco.

The are probably some cases where things work great, but is seem too risky, to purchase someone, who will change your diapers, when you get old.


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## Old Vet (Oct 15, 2006)

Lets see. I would not like for other people to find a bride unless I wasn't interested in a good marriage. It takes two to fall in love and have a successful marriage. It can not take place over the phone or the internet. That does not mean that you can meat over the phone or the internet but marriage with out meeting is a crap shoot. You don't know what the other party likes or their background but meeting and spend time together lets you find most things about the other one.


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## pancho (Oct 23, 2006)

Years ago I knew a man who had a mail order bride. I didn't know his wife was store bought until she died. He told me he was going to order another one as the first one had worked out so good. They were married for many years.
The 2nd one he got was kind of mean. She used to hit on him. He returned her and ordered another. The next one never arrived. I used to kid him about the mailman keeping his mail.


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## Sonshine (Jul 27, 2007)

I'm not a man, but my Aunt was a mail order bride. She was married for 50 plus years before she passed away about 5 yrs ago. As far as I know they were very happy and ended up with 5 kids.


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## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)

pancho said:


> Years ago I knew a man who had a mail order bride. I didn't know his wife was store bought until *she died*. He told me *he was going to order another one as the first one had worked out so good*. They were married for many years.
> The 2nd one he got was kind of mean. *She used to hit on him. He returned her and ordered another. The next one never arrived.* I used to kid him about the mailman keeping his mail.


This whole story tells me that the man you knew was a domestic abuser.

.


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## beowoulf90 (Jan 13, 2004)

Sorry I can't give you any advice on this.. I don't know of anyone who bought a MOB, well at least not to my knowledge.

Personally I wouldn't do it, because I don't think there would be a connection there. But that is my opinion only..

Good luck on what ever you decide!


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## EDDIE BUCK (Jul 17, 2005)

These posts are funny keep them coming:smiley-laughing013::hysterical:


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## Beeman (Dec 29, 2002)

Local guy just did this. Agter seeing his ex and some of the local field he made the right choice. I've always told my wife that's why I pay life insurance on her, so I can buy a replacement. If I had to play the dating game with what's out there I'd consider becoming a monk.


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## knight88 (Nov 17, 2006)

Check the web site; Dragon ladies.com. That may scare you...


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

The idea of "buying" another person just seems wrong. It is not really that differerent from human trafficking.


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## chickenslayer (Apr 20, 2010)

naturelover said:


> This whole story tells me that the man you knew was a domestic abuser.
> 
> .


How does she "hit on him" make him a domestic abuser?


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## JanS (Jul 28, 2002)

I was trying not to comment seeing as I'm not a "men only".  But have to take a stab at this one.

I'm guessing naturelover's point was that seeing as the first wife died, and no one ever saw the third, that hubby killed both. He hid #3's murder by telling everyone that she'd never arrived. He might in fact have killed #2 as well, telling people afterward that she'd gone back where she came from.

I too watch true-life murder mysteries.


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## Patt (May 18, 2003)

tinknal said:


> Well, if I bought a gal and brought her here, she would still be the poorest girl in town. I'd be better off to move there and make her the richest girl in town.


:thumb:


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## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)

chickenslayer said:


> How does she "hit on him" make him a domestic abuser?


He purchased the first wife and she died. Why did she die? He purchased a second wife and claimed that she hit him - what he obviously wouldn't admit to is that wife #2 was hitting back, defending herself against his abuse. He says he sent her back. That's not possible. That is a lie and is illegal to do. So if wife #2 disappeared he lied about it, it means he actually disposed of her. He probably never tried to purchase a 3rd wife at all, that would cast suspicion of foul play on him by the marriage brokers. 

Now if Pancho's story is true (as far as he knows) and he really knows that man he should suspect that man of spousal abuse and possibly of murder.

.


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## chickenslayer (Apr 20, 2010)

naturelover said:


> He purchased the first wife and she died. Why did she die? He purchased a second wife and claimed that she hit him - what he obviously wouldn't admit to is that wife #2 was hitting back, defending herself against his abuse. He says he sent her back. That's not possible. That is a lie and is illegal to do. So if wife #2 disappeared he lied about it, it means he actually disposed of her. He probably never tried to purchase a 3rd wife at all, that would cast suspicion of foul play on him by the marriage brokers.
> 
> Now if Pancho's story is true (as far as he knows) and he really knows that man he should suspect that man of spousal abuse and possibly of murder.
> 
> .


I need some of whatever you are smoking


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## Windy in Kansas (Jun 16, 2002)

shanzone2001 said:


> The idea of "buying" another person just seems wrong. It is not really that differerent from human trafficking.


You don't "buy" another person at all. One person pays for a listing with a company and the potential marriage partner pays for their address and other information. The company is therefore information brokers, albeit somewhat costly. Some of the companies host trips to the countries of potential mates where those on the trip will meet many of those shown in their listing magazine. While costly it does provide a way to meet many of the ladies in person and have a reliable translator on site if needed. 

I have met several married couples that used to come into the library where I worked. There were a couple of the brides that I sure wouldn't have turned down. lol One was a very intelligent and attractive and from a former USSR country. The other was from South America or Central America and was a medical doctor, again attractive and intelligent. She came in for language studies so that she could pass U.S. medical boards. All of the couples I met seemed quite happy. 

While the costs may have come down I think there would still be a lot of cost involved. A trip to the country of the potential bride, and a trip for her to the United States for a visit. At least I sure wouldn't consider anything less.

I find it difficult to imagine the circumstances where a bride could give up family, friends, and sometimes children to move thousands of miles away to begin life anew in an unfamiliar country. Unless they married a man of considerable means the cost of visits would prohibit but few. 

Having said that, women in some countries are treated poorly to say the least so I can see why they would look elsewhere. 

For American men it can be difficult to find a mate with less expectations than what a foreign bride would gladly settle for. A decent man that doesn't cheat and get drunk would thrill many foreign brides from what I've read. 

As a former letter carrier I used to deliver some of the MOB magazines which prompted me to order some to look through. There were a lot of doctors, dentists, teachers, and about all occupations listed including women that owned their own businesses. I suppose that could mean anything from they sold pencils or themselves on street corners to owning retail shops, so reading between the lines would be necessary for certain.

I must say that opening up a magazine filled with potential mates and with somewhat detailed descriptions might be a better way for Americans to find each other than bumping into each other locally and then struggling to know more about the other person. For starters it means both are looking for a mate and not just out for a good time.

MOB and MOH (husbands)--seems to have potential in my opinion.


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## Jan Doling (May 21, 2004)

"I too watch true-life murder mysteries."

I do, too. I watched some where there was a conspiracy among a group of mail brides...the husbands were dropping like flies....or perhaps spiders?


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## fishhead (Jul 19, 2006)

I know a guy who married a Phillipino (sp) woman. It cost him well over $10,000 and months of wading through the red tape.

When she arrived she expected gold jewelry and a life of luxury. It took him a long time (including a trip to talk with someone at the bank) to convince her that he didn't have a lot of money.


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## Ardie/WI (May 10, 2002)

chickenslayer said:


> I need some of whatever you are smoking



I was thinking the same thing.


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## Oggie (May 29, 2003)

If you order a wife through mail order and she's the wrong size, I don't think that you can return her.

It's probably better to shop in town.


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## Bret (Oct 3, 2003)

If a guy wants to order an iflatable bride, he should be able to. I do not know anyone who has.


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## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)

fishhead said:


> I know a guy who married a Phillipino (sp) woman. It cost him well over $10,000 and months of wading through the red tape.
> 
> When she arrived she expected gold jewelry and a life of luxury. It took him a long time (including a trip to talk with someone at the bank) to convince her that he didn't have a lot of money.


That must have been over 20 years ago, eh? The Philippines now prohibits organizing or facilitating marriages between Filipinas and foreign men. The Phillipine Congress enacted the Anti-Mail-Order Bride Law in 1990 because of Filipinas being abused by their foreign husbands. Unfortunately that happens too often to mail-order-brides. Men who can't find wives in their own countries because they're known for their abusive natures marry MOB's thinking the foreign women will have to put up with it and be silent about it. 

I know a Filipina girl that happened to 30 years ago, the guy was a drunkard, brought her over here thinking she'd make a good brood mare, whipping horse and work horse on his herb farm. She stuck it out with his abuses for 8 years (and 5 children) and then he had a 'mysterious' heart attack which weakened and aged him tremendously. She put him in a nursing home and turned the farm into a booming business on her own after that. 

.


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## Tiempo (May 22, 2008)

Tread VERY carefully dude, and it is mighty expensive.

The process would involve traveling to the country of the women you would like to meet, courting your choice(es) once there (read: paying for everything).

Assuming you find one that works out, you would then have to file for a fiancee visa, paying all the necessary USCIS fees, med exam expenses etc. and supporting your bride to be in her country while she waits for approval. Approval of the fiancee visa can take months to over a year. During this time you will be establishing proof of a bonafde relationship needed for her adjustment of status (green card), so expect to be visiting said country while you wait.

If and when your bride's fiance visa is approved (all kinds of things can go wrong at every step of the game, and you will be out of pocket for every penny whether it works out or not), You will have to marry her within 90 days of her arriving in the US, then you will start the adjusting of status process. The application fees for AOS, (aside from the fiance visa aps and process, I don't know what they cost) alone add up to @ $2000.

You will have to provide an affidavit of support, for this you have to provide tax returns proving you make at least 125% over the federally established poverty level. This affidavit if approved leaves you on the hook for your wife's financial support until she 

A) Naturalizes (becomes an American Citizen, which would take a minimum of 3 years..whether you divorce or not)

B) She leaves the US, forfeiting her status..or

C) She dies.

A not uncommon occurrence is for a woman to come over, and as soon as she she is here, start trying to build a false case of spousal abuse (VAWA) so that she does not have to stay with the husband for the 2 years necessary to meet the removal of conditions on her original 2 year conditional green card, to then get her 10 year GC.


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## Tiempo (May 22, 2008)

naturelover said:


> That must have been over 20 years ago, eh? The Philippines now prohibits organizing or facilitating marriages between Filipinas and foreign men. The Phillipine Congress enacted the Anti-Mail-Order Bride Law in 1990 because of Filipinas being abused by their foreign husbands. Unfortunately that happens too often to mail-order-brides. Men who can't find wives in their own countries because they're known for their abusive natures marry MOB's thinking the foreign women will have to put up with it and be silent about it.
> 
> I know a Filipina girl that happened to 30 years ago, the guy was a drunkard, brought her over here thinking she'd make a good brood mare, whipping horse and work horse on his herb farm. She stuck it out with his abuses for 8 years (and 5 children) and then he had a 'mysterious' heart attack which weakened and aged him tremendously. She put him in a nursing home and turned the farm into a booming business on her own after that.
> 
> .


Nope NL, it's still happening. I was just today involved with a conversation with a man who met his Filipina wife through an agency, they got married in May of this year, and she started to try to shake him loose as soon as she got here, it was a set-up by her and her family to try to get a GC from the get go.

She has left him, and he has reported her to ICE and they now have a file on her as a marriage fraud perp. She is in the wind, but she can never try to adjust now. If she files again through another husband, she will be denied immediately.


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## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)

Tiempo said:


> Nope NL, it's still happening. I was just today involved with a conversation with a man who met his Filipina wife through an agency, ......


Yes, I'm sure that kind of thing is still happening through illegal and non-Phillipine agencies based in other countries. I guess if someone is going to circumvent the laws of that country they should expect to get bad goods. That's sad that happened to him though.

By the way, that was really good information you posted above.

.


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## fishhead (Jul 19, 2006)

I think the guy I referred to got married less than 10 years ago. I can't remember for sure but I think he went through a church. I think she's pressing him to bring her family over now.

He said at first she though the US was paved in gold but has since come down to reality. She wants to find a job but he wants her to stay and run the family bait store business while he's out trapping and delivering minnows.

I also know of two guys have been scammed out of more than $10,000 each by overseas women claiming to want to get married. If the women are doing that on their own they are probably stringing along several guys and bringing a good income.


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## fishhead (Jul 19, 2006)

There's a recent movie called "Mail Order Bride" that is pretty good.


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## Tiempo (May 22, 2008)

> If the women are doing that on their own they are probably stringing along several guys and bringing a good income.


That wouldn't work, because as soon as the process is started and a fiance visa application is on file with USCIS, she would be busted if she tried to file another one.


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## Possumcat (Oct 2, 2008)

Only experience I have with MOB is from Law and Order or other murder mystery type shows. Scary.
Why not take a fraction of your money and invest in an online dating site like eHarmony (they are geared towards marriage-minded) individuals or something similar? Now, before you all bemoan online dating, when I first got divorced, I joined eHarmony and really met a lot of nice, interesting men. I'm assuming it would be the case with the women. ;-) 
Just seems to me if you're gonna get married, might want to be on a certain level with your betrothed....best of luck to you whatever you decide!


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## tinknal (May 21, 2004)

Possumcat said:


> Only experience I have with MOB is from Law and Order or other murder mystery type shows. Scary.


Have you ever seen how those shows portray hunters, farmers, rural people, Christians, and so on? Those shows promote more negative stereotypes than you can imagine. Anyone living outside of a major metropolitan area are either bucolic bumpkins, or dangerous ********.


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## Sonshine (Jul 27, 2007)

Windy in Kansas said:


> You don't "buy" another person at all. One person pays for a listing with a company and the potential marriage partner pays for their address and other information. The company is therefore information brokers, albeit somewhat costly. Some of the companies host trips to the countries of potential mates where those on the trip will meet many of those shown in their listing magazine. While costly it does provide a way to meet many of the ladies in person and have a reliable translator on site if needed.
> 
> I have met several married couples that used to come into the library where I worked. There were a couple of the brides that I sure wouldn't have turned down. lol One was a very intelligent and attractive and from a former USSR country. The other was from South America or Central America and was a medical doctor, again attractive and intelligent. She came in for language studies so that she could pass U.S. medical boards. All of the couples I met seemed quite happy.
> 
> ...


LOL I'm glad you posted this. I don't know why people think that you buy a MOB. My Uncle paid for my Aunt to go to Seatle, but he didn't buy her! They met, got married and stayed married for many years and had 5 kids. It does work sometimes, sometimes it doesn't. Just like any other marriage.


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## Qhorseman (Jul 9, 2010)

I married a pilipino woman while I was stationed there in the Navy. I retired and stayed in the philippines working for a civilian company. To make a long story short, she divorced me just as soon as we were back in the US and married a higher earning model, left me with two toddlers. Be very careful these women are very cunning and patient. I have heard more than one of them making statements that it was okay to use the smaller fish to catch a bigger one.


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## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)

Sonshine said:


> LOL I'm glad you posted this. I don't know why people think that you buy a MOB. My Uncle paid for my Aunt to go to Seatle, but he didn't buy her! They met, got married and stayed married for many years and had 5 kids. It does work sometimes, sometimes it doesn't. Just like any other marriage.


Of course you're not "buying" a person, and I don't think anyone is thinking of it in those terms, but there is still a lot of money involved in brokering a marriage, especially if you're paying all the necessary costs and the surity you have to put up to bring a bride into a new country.

Was your uncle's bride imported from a different country? You didn't say where she came from, only where she went to.

.


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## Windy in Kansas (Jun 16, 2002)

Qhorseman said:


> I married a pilipino woman while I was stationed there in the Navy. I retired and stayed in the philippines working for a civilian company. To make a long story short, she divorced me just as soon as we were back in the US and married a higher earning model, left me with two toddlers. Be very careful these women are very cunning and patient. I have heard more than one of them making statements that it was okay to use the smaller fish to catch a bigger one.


A fellow I used to work with married a Filipino while stationed in the Philippines when in the Air Force. As he told it he said Americans can't own property there so he built a nice home, etc. for her on property in her name. You guessed it, she divorced him.

He got back at her by marrying either her sister or a cousin, I don't remember which. This one he brought to the U.S. They have been happily married for decades now. They own a cleaning business employing several others as well as working hard themselves. 

Haven't a clue what he is worth nor their income, but it has to be substantial. Air Force retirement, Postal retirement, Kansas employees retirement (prison work), Social Security, and the cleaning work. I know of one large contract he has and it is for over $250,000 a year. Commercial medial building.


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## mekasmom (Jan 19, 2010)

There was a 40+yo guy at church who brought an "18" yo mail order bride. Whole thing lasted about a year until she took off with a boy her age.


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## pancho (Oct 23, 2006)

naturelover said:


> He purchased the first wife and she died. Why did she die? He purchased a second wife and claimed that she hit him - what he obviously wouldn't admit to is that wife #2 was hitting back, defending herself against his abuse. He says he sent her back. That's not possible. That is a lie and is illegal to do. So if wife #2 disappeared he lied about it, it means he actually disposed of her. He probably never tried to purchase a 3rd wife at all, that would cast suspicion of foul play on him by the marriage brokers.
> 
> Now if Pancho's story is true (as far as he knows) and he really knows that man he should suspect that man of spousal abuse and possibly of murder.
> 
> .


You have it all wrong. The man and his first wife were very happy. They were married many years ago and both were older and retired. Both were fine people. The woman was a diabetic, which was the cause of her death. The old man took care of her all during her sickness.
I was a witness to the 2nd store bought woman beating on the old man. She liked to hit him with a skillet. He wasn't physically able to do much to her. I do know she went back home as my father gave her a ride to the bus station when she left.
They lived outside of the town I lived in, population about 120. The old man would recieve notification about his store bought wife through the mail. The post office was located in a grocery store. The store owner was the postmaster. Just about everyone getting their mail at the post office got their mail general delivery. The postmaster had a habit of opening people's mail and reading it. That was the reason I kidded the old man about the postmaster getting his mail.
Not much went on in that small town that everyone didn't know. The postmaster told everyone when the old man got his notification about his store bought wife.


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## glwalker (Apr 19, 2005)

Although there's always a chance that any marriage might not work out, I don't think that mail order brides are a good idea. Some of the other posters have already told stories about MOBs ripping off their husbands. Many people around the world still believe that America is a land where everybody is rich, and unless you're a millionaire, the chances of finding a gold digger from a poor country are much greater than finding one locally. Also, with a MOB you know straight off that the woman wants you for a visa and probably money, rather than for you yourself. There are probably singles' groups where you might find a wife. If you're religious, churches often have singles' groups where people looking for marriage attend.


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## fantasymaker (Aug 28, 2005)

I used to know a 78 year old guy in Alaska that had a 24 year old MOB When we talked I asked if she might be using him to get into the country , He laughed and said yep as soon as the got their greencard they divorced him,He was always willing to give the divorce for a cash settlement(Read that as alimony) and was now getting a fair retirement that way. He liked it that way basically he traded in the old model every 3 years spent a while relaxing and then went and got a new one......He did recomend meeting them in the home country before marriage.


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## foaly (Jan 14, 2008)

Windy in Kansas said:


> A decent man that doesn't cheat and get drunk would thrill many foreign brides from what I've read.


Windy--This would thrill many local brides as well!


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## Pyrenees (Oct 23, 2004)

I have one acquintance who did.

Got her about three years ago. She was decent looking, very thin, and meek.

Fast forward to today. She gained about 40 pounds, which I guess makes here avg weight by US standards...and is very much in charge of their marriage.


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## Possumcat (Oct 2, 2008)

tinknal said:


> Have you ever seen how those shows portray hunters, farmers, rural people, Christians, and so on? Those shows promote more negative stereotypes than you can imagine. Anyone living outside of a major metropolitan area are either bucolic bumpkins, or dangerous ********.


Hmmm...hadn't considered that. Thanks for the perspective


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## rkintn (Dec 12, 2002)

pancho said:


> You have it all wrong. The man and his first wife were very happy. They were married many years ago and both were older and retired. Both were fine people. The woman was a diabetic, which was the cause of her death. The old man took care of her all during her sickness.
> I was a witness to the 2nd store bought woman beating on the old man. She liked to hit him with a skillet. He wasn't physically able to do much to her. I do know she went back home as my father gave her a ride to the bus station when she left.
> They lived outside of the town I lived in, population about 120. The old man would recieve notification about his store bought wife through the mail. The post office was located in a grocery store. The store owner was the postmaster. Just about everyone getting their mail at the post office got their mail general delivery. The postmaster had a habit of opening people's mail and reading it. That was the reason I kidded the old man about the postmaster getting his mail.
> Not much went on in that small town that everyone didn't know. The postmaster told everyone when the old man got his notification about his store bought wife.


Thanks for clearing that up! It's amazing how some will jump to the worst possible conclusions about just about anything.


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## Ed Norman (Jun 8, 2002)

rkintn said:


> Thanks for clearing that up! It's amazing how some will jump to the worst possible conclusions about just about anything.


You should read her ideas on global warming. (just kidding, naturelover)


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## sidepasser (May 10, 2002)

I have a friend who married a MOB, they met through a Christian service/Catholic service. She is Philipino and had two children by a previous husband (deceased). They married and it took him six years to get her to the US. He made two trips per year to her country to see her and they married in the Phillipines. She is bright, articulate, intelligent and has an inner strength about her. Oh and they have one child so far and perhaps another on the way. She also is a RN and owned her own business. Very pretty lady too (well kept appearance but not rich by any means).

Another friend of mine married a Russian lady - it took almost 8 years to get her over to the US. She is a dentist by trade and a lovely person. They have several kids now.

It can work out but in both cases, both men wrote their prospective brides for over a year before meeting face to face and then continuing the relationship via web cam and email/mail.

I know there are many women in other parts of the world who would love to come to the US. Some are honest, others not..it's up to the man to make sure of things. The better matchmaking services will "vet" BOTH parties prior to arranging a meeting.


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## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)

pancho said:


> ..... I was a witness to the 2nd store bought woman beating on the old man. She liked to hit him with a skillet. He wasn't physically able to do much to her....... The old man would recieve notification about his store bought wife through the mail. ....... The postmaster told everyone when the old man got his notification about his store bought wife.


You're missing the point here. There is no such legal thing as a "store bought woman". That would be illegal, it would be trafficking in humans. A man can't order in a wife from another country, marry her, try her out and then send her back to where she came from and order in another wife just because the 2nd one didn't work out. There are international laws against that kind of thing.

.


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## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)

fantasymaker said:


> I used to know a 78 year old guy in Alaska that had a 24 year old MOB When we talked I asked if she might be using him to get into the country , He laughed and said yep as soon as the got their greencard they divorced him,He was always willing to give the divorce for a cash settlement(Read that as alimony) and was now getting a fair retirement that way. He liked it that way basically he traded in the old model every 3 years spent a while relaxing and then went and got a new one......He did recomend meeting them in the home country before marriage.


Nonsense. That is illegal too. Either the old guy was pulling your leg or else you've been watching too many fiction movies. 

.


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## willow_girl (Dec 7, 2002)

I think mail-order brides and their husband probably deserve one another!


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## pancho (Oct 23, 2006)

naturelover said:


> You're missing the point here. There is no such legal thing as a "store bought woman". That would be illegal, it would be trafficking in humans. A man can't order in a wife from another country, marry her, try her out and then send her back to where she came from and order in another wife just because the 2nd one didn't work out. There are international laws against that kind of thing.
> 
> .


He didn't order a woman from another country. There are plenty of women in the U.S. for sale.


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## tinknal (May 21, 2004)

naturelover said:


> Nonsense. That is illegal too. Either the old guy was pulling your leg or else you've been watching too many fiction movies.
> 
> .


Yep, illegal, it would be like if there were thousands of Mexicans sneaking across the border every year. Preposterous!


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## snoozy (May 10, 2002)

It'd be a whole lot cheaper to lose some weight, get a library card and clean your house up. Then you wouldn't have to find someone to dupe into marrying you: you'd earn a wife on your merits.


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## Windy in Kansas (Jun 16, 2002)

snoozy said:


> It'd be a whole lot cheaper to lose some weight, get a library card and clean your house up. Then you wouldn't have to find someone to dupe into marrying you: you'd earn a wife on your merits.


Well used library card. Check
Clean house. Check
Lose weight. Nope, then I'd be underweight.

Guess I could update my wardrobe and use a new suit of clothes though.
http://i163.photobucket.com/albums/t298/growerguy/Barr-Peters/scan0252.jpg


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## brreitsma (Jan 14, 2003)

> It'd be a whole lot cheaper to lose some weight, get a library card and clean your house up. Then you wouldn't have to find someone to dupe into marrying you: you'd earn a wife on your merits.


What?! Do you know how few women actually make decisions based upon a mans merits? Look around you at the nice,decent, productive men who go year after year unable to find anyone at all because their not mean and bad enough. Now look at how many low life monsters have no problem finding ladies. I am married now but was totally single unable to find anything for years. My observation is that many women only want a guy that is going to never get off the coach and live off of them as well as verbally disrespect and physically abuse them and if you refuse to be like that good luck.


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## Ken Scharabok (May 11, 2002)

This is totally off topic but I once read a book by a farm woman. They were well off enough to hire domestic and milk maids from 'the city'. She said they lasted about six months before they married some local lonely bachelor. She said, probably not in jest, it seemed like half the women in the area started out at their place.

Harry Chapin (sp?) had a rather nice song about "Mail Order Annie". I saw him do it in Dayton, OH. He started with a cord on a harmonica, then did the song solo - no musical backup at all.


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## jill.costello (Aug 18, 2004)

A relative of mine has been "finacially supporting" 3 Russian gals for years. He "found" them god-knows how, many years ago. He has put all three through college in Russia and says he will marry one of them "someday".

Wonder what the other two will do when the money stops coming?


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## tinknal (May 21, 2004)

jill.costello said:


> A relative of mine has been "finacially supporting" 3 Russian gals for years. He "found" them god-knows how, many years ago. He has put all three through college in Russia and says he will marry one of them "someday".
> 
> Wonder what the other two will do when the money stops coming?


Maybe he will keep them for spares.........


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## fantasymaker (Aug 28, 2005)

naturelover said:


> Nonsense. That is illegal too. Either the old guy was pulling your leg or else you've been watching too many fiction movies.
> 
> .


Well of course he could have been but I think his story was well accepted around there. Why would it be illegal? Is there a limit on divorces?


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## FeralFemale (Apr 10, 2006)

If you are considering a MOB, you must have had some bad luck in the meeting ladies department. I can't imagine anyone would turn to MOB unless it was their last chance.

However, please consider the match.com, eharmony, etc websites. My sister met her husband there. 

If you have already done that, try an arranged marriage instead of a MOB. I bet if you google enough, you can find a reputable, yenta-type match making service. I would trust that before an MOB. MOBs, not all but many, are desperate to get out of their countries and circumstances. Some will be grateful and be a good wife, but others are sure to just use you for a US citizenship.

Good luck.


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## JanS (Jul 28, 2002)

I don't want to assign motives to the OP. However, I've heard that in many cases, men are looking outside the country because they want someone meek and submissive and, well, not like American women. It's not because they can't find someone here, but that they don't like the choices.


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## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)

JanS said:


> I don't want to assign motives to the OP. However, I've heard that in many cases, men are looking outside the country because they want someone meek and submissive and, well, not like American women. It's not because they can't find someone here, but that they don't like the choices.


It doesn't take too long for most of those gals to become modern 'westernized' women once they get here and start feeling secure with themselves. So, guys that are looking for meek and submissive women might get that at first but still end up with wives who stand up for themselves after awhile. 

.


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## snoozy (May 10, 2002)

The very fact that these women are brave enough to venture outside their own culture and country shows that they have ambition and once they know how to get along in this culture, they're not going to be meek and submissive.


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## tinknal (May 21, 2004)

JanS said:


> I don't want to assign motives to the OP. However, I've heard that in many cases, men are looking outside the country because they want someone meek and submissive and, well, not like American women. It's not because they can't find someone here, but that they don't like the choices.


More likely they are looking for someone who is dedicated to their husband and family. You say tomahto.........


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## JanS (Jul 28, 2002)

tinknal said:


> More likely they are looking for someone who is dedicated to their husband and family. You say tomahto.........


Always glad to consider the other sides of the equation.


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## fetch33 (Jan 15, 2010)

naturelover said:


> It doesn't take too long for most of those gals to become modern 'westernized' women once they get here and start feeling secure with themselves. So, guys that are looking for meek and submissive women might get that at first but still end up with wives who stand up for themselves after awhile.
> 
> .


My cousin solved that problem by marrying a Muslim woman.:teehee:


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## Old John (May 27, 2004)

I do not understand..........With all the Beautiful, smart, intelligent, loving American women there are who are looking for a good, strong, intelligent, giving man, with whom to find Happiness, why any man would take a big chance on a MOB from another Country.
When I was single I never had any trouble finding ladies. Dating someone of your own Culture and American background would be so much easier than overcoming the language, distance and cultural differences. I can't say, I was ever lonely if I wanted good company.


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## Reptyle (Jul 28, 2005)

chickenslayer said:


> I need some of whatever you are smoking


Funniest thing I have read on this forum in a long time...Sadly, also one of the truest.


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## Tiempo (May 22, 2008)

fantasymaker said:


> Well of course he could have been but I think his story was well accepted around there. Why would it be illegal? Is there a limit on divorces?


Perhaps not a legality issue, but USCIS would be very suspicious indeed of serial sponsorship applications for foreign fiances, they are only going to let you get away with so many. 

At 3 you're starting to raise some serious red flags with them.


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## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)

Reptyle said:


> > Originally Posted by *chickenslayer*
> > _I need some of whatever you are smoking_
> 
> 
> Funniest thing I have read on this forum in a long time...Sadly, also one of the truest.


Canadian Classics King Size. $8.11 for a pack of 20 - available at your friendly duty-free border crossing. 

.


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## tinknal (May 21, 2004)

naturelover said:


> Canadian Classics King Size. $8.11 for a pack of 20 - available at your friendly duty-free border crossing.
> 
> .


Ouch! I'd learn to grow it before I would pay THAT much.....


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## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)

tinknal said:


> Ouch! I'd learn to grow it before I would pay THAT much.....


Tobacco doesn't grow well here. And that price is cheap for here. Thread drift ... I know (but the OP never did come back so what the hey?) .... all coffin nails of any brand up here are double the price of what they are in USA. 

But they do taste better. :icecream:

:lookout:


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## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)

Tiempo said:


> Perhaps not a legality issue, but USCIS would be very suspicious indeed of serial sponsorship applications for foreign fiances, they are only going to let you get away with so many.
> 
> At 3 you're starting to raise some serious red flags with them.


Exactly .... that's the point I was trying to make, you said it better. Guy gets enough red flags and they start thinking you're either trafficking in women or else you're some kind of dreaded Bluebeard.

.


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## Reptyle (Jul 28, 2005)

It's a good thing the Op asked for men only...Otherwise you'd probably have a bunch of women posting on this thread.


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## Reptyle (Jul 28, 2005)

naturelover said:


> Tobacco doesn't grow well here.


What does grow well up there?


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## DaleK (Sep 23, 2004)

Reptyle said:


> What does grow well up there?


BC Bud, apparently.


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## Paumon (Jul 12, 2007)

Reptyle said:


> What does grow well up there?


Do you really want to know? See commodities in the table of contents, pages 4 and 5. 
http://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&q...QEpWM-&sig=AHIEtbRyZCGrJftycbHHuzkJu81Nlb3IvQ

It's true BC Bud is a big cash crop. 90% of Canada's tobacco is grown in Ontario, it has a more suitable climate for tobacco. Wild desert coyote tobacco does grow in BC but it's awful stuff.


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## blufford (Nov 23, 2004)

snoozy said:


> It'd be a whole lot cheaper to lose some weight, get a library card and clean your house up. Then you wouldn't have to find someone to dupe into marrying you: you'd earn a wife on your merits.


You know your asking an awful lot here.


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## Txrider (Jun 25, 2010)

naturelover said:


> Of course you're not "buying" a person, and I don't think anyone is thinking of it in those terms, but there is still a lot of money involved in brokering a marriage, especially if you're paying all the necessary costs and the surity you have to put up to bring a bride into a new country.
> 
> Was your uncle's bride imported from a different country? You didn't say where she came from, only where she went to.
> 
> .


Hate to say it, but there's no more money involved than there is in most American couple's weddings alone.. The average wedding cost here is about 20k...

I had two cousins who married Philipino girls. One while stationed there, one was a pen pal, more of a MOB type thing but through a church.

Neither worked out very well.. The first is a very nice guy, he has a good income as well and was married for about 20 years, but she was a bit psycho, had a terrible time adapting to the culture, and divorced him a few years ago. Their kids are all grown but one.

The other was just the opposite, he is a bit weird and she seemed to be a very nice girl, a teacher, and she left him after a few years.

I also have a casual friend who married a girl from Russia he met on one of those marriage tours, they started their own MOB business taking men over to Russia to meet women... They were after me to do so for quite some time.

All of these guys married women their own age.

I also have an employee who has been in a long distance fling with a gal from Moldova for about 3yrs now having only been over there to see her twice. He paid her way through the end of college there and they are trying to get the money and paperwork together for her to move here. I don't think it's going to work out for him, she is a lot younger, but you can't tell him that and who knows... She is a country gal, living on her dad's farm at the moment.

What I have seen from all of them is the biggest hurdle seems to be that these women have very unrealistic expectations of America. They believe even the poor are rich here and have no idea how much everything costs and such. It has been an extreme shock for all of them I have known to learn reality, and to learn the guy's income which is a fortune where she comes from, barely gets by here.


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## bluebird2o2 (Feb 14, 2007)

I have only heard bad things about these marriages.a friend of mine has two friends married russian girls.as soon as they could they obtained divorces.Its not cheap either.


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## Tiempo (May 22, 2008)

> The average wedding cost here is about 20k...


Right, but you choose how much to spend on a wedding, it can be done for next to nothing. 

Not so importing a wife.


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## WindowOrMirror (Jan 10, 2005)

i'm with Eddie... this is GREAT stuff!


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## ChristieAcres (Apr 11, 2009)

First DH was a blind date, met my twin first; she felt guilty after I married him...then worse when I divorced him. After being single for almost 4 years, my twin told me to buy a boat. So, I did, a little wooden boat needing restoration. Second DH, met my twin first, and was referred to me for a welding job I needed to have done (hitch on my car to pull boat). You guessed it, got hitched not but four months later. Since this guy is a keeper, my twin reminds me occasionally, that she met him first, basically picked him out for me...

On MOB or MOH? I can comment knowing three different guys who did this, weren't abusive, and only 1 out of 3 worked out. The first guy truly fell in love with his MOB, and she with him, after their introduction and courtship, and have been married many years now (Asian). The other 2? One guy had a lucrative home business, made it clear his new wife would be working beside him, and in two years- you guessed it, divorced him. She became a real tramp. Now, the 3rd guy, married an Asian MOB, and she bore him two children, then divorced him, leaving them with him, and abandoning her children.

My advice to you? Buy a boat, since you don't have a twin...

I have to add, when it came to meeting people, I believe the best place? Is doing what you love, hiking, fishing, camping, boating, etc... First up, you have something in common...


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## Ross (May 9, 2002)

> My advice to you? Buy a boat, since you don't have a twin...
> 
> I have to add, when it came to meeting people, I believe the best place? Is doing what you love, hiking, fishing, camping, boating, etc... First up, you have something in common...


 Best advice I've heard yet! Buy a boat!!


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## Jenn (Nov 9, 2004)

fantasymaker said:


> I used to know a 78 year old guy in Alaska that had a 24 year old MOB When we talked I asked if she might be using him to get into the country , He laughed and said yep as soon as the got their greencard they divorced him,He was always willing to give the divorce for a cash settlement(Read that as alimony) and was now getting a fair retirement that way. He liked it that way basically he traded in the old model every 3 years spent a while relaxing and then went and got a new one......He did recomend meeting them in the home country before marriage.


Whew how many times had he been married?


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## Jenn (Nov 9, 2004)

Ken Scharabok said:


> This is totally off topic but I once read a book by a farm woman. They were well off enough to hire domestic and milk maids from 'the city'. She said they lasted about six months before they married some local lonely bachelor. She said, probably not in jest, it seemed like half the women in the area started out at their place.
> 
> Harry Chapin (sp?) had a rather nice song about "Mail Order Annie". I saw him do it in Dayton, OH. He started with a cord on a harmonica, then did the song solo - no musical backup at all.


My Grandpa married the hired girl. She was a gorgeous freckled brunette- and my aunt still has her coloring- dunno if it was Black Irish or Sioux maybe a bit of both.


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## fantasymaker (Aug 28, 2005)

Jenn said:


> Whew how many times had he been married?


Im not sure. Id guess it was something like 4 0r 5, I got the impression that it took a few years from divorce to marrige. So Im sorta guessing at 6 years a cycle.


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## logbuilder (Jan 31, 2006)

FeralFemale said:


> If you are considering a MOB, you must have had some bad luck in the meeting ladies department. I can't imagine anyone would turn to MOB unless it was their last chance.


Humm... now what do you call the male version of a cougar?


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## Kazahleenah (Nov 3, 2004)

naturelover said:


> He purchased the first wife and she died. Why did she die? He purchased a second wife and claimed that she hit him - what he obviously wouldn't admit to is that wife #2 was hitting back, defending herself against his abuse. He says he sent her back. That's not possible. That is a lie and is illegal to do. So if wife #2 disappeared he lied about it, it means he actually disposed of her. He probably never tried to purchase a 3rd wife at all, that would cast suspicion of foul play on him by the marriage brokers.
> 
> Now if Pancho's story is true (as far as he knows) and he really knows that man he should suspect that man of spousal abuse and possibly of murder.
> 
> .



Wow... You need to lay off the CSI and Criminal Minds shows for a while.


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