# Caring for those with Alzheimer's/Dementia



## farmrbrown (Jun 25, 2012)

I noticed a few on here dealing with this and wanted a place to post helpful advice, share problems, or just vent a little.
It can be a long hard road and it seems like more of us are traveling it nowadays.

I'm embarrassed at how little I know about the details and how easy it is to get overwhelmed.
This is a good example of the concept "It takes a village..."

This link was pretty informative about the basics, including symptoms and average length of time for each stage of the disease.
https://blog.caregiverhomes.com/the-7-stages-of-alzheimers


If this is a subject that depresses you when thinking about retirement, I apologize but it could be moved to another sub forum if necessary.
Thanks.


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## Alice In TX/MO (May 10, 2002)

Thank you for posting this. Yes, it's a concern. I've been down this road, but not with difficulty YET.

1. Mom had a series of strokes. The second one put her in assisted living, and she was confused, but not able to get out of bed on her own. My sister was VERY frustrated when trying to have conversations with her.

2. A dear friend wound up in my care. I knew he had trouble packing his meds himself before he moved in, so that was the first indication. Then, he forgot which town he was driving to in order to meet me for lunch. I didn't let him drive after that.
He was awfully clever at hiding that he wasn't eating. Eventually, he refused food at all. The doctors and his daughters understood, thank goodness.

3. I am watching the situation develop in a neighbor/life long friend whose father had Alzheimers. Now, my friend is having short term memory issues. B 12 injections help. He has alienated his children and step children to the point that they want nothing to do with him..... except for their perceptions of how much money he has.
We'll see how this one turns out.


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## farmrbrown (Jun 25, 2012)

On the financial side, there is a lot you can do to prepare and we did that a few years ago. Power of attorney (medical and general), will, safety deposit box keys, etc.
There's a small mortgage with automatic payment and we take her to the bank and stores.
But, the confusion and accusatory questions are emotionally hard. I tell her it's OK, we'll find whatever it is that's "lost" and I've talked to the banking people so when the day comes that she says we've moved in to rob her, it won't be a police situation.


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## Wolf mom (Mar 8, 2005)

https://www.alz.org/local_resources/find_your_local_chapter

find local Alzheimers Association meetings or ask at your local hospital. Lots of support and hints from caregivers in the same situation.


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## GTX63 (Dec 13, 2016)

My FIL has Lewes Body Dementia. It is an ugly and torturous decline. My mother in law was unable to care for him, even with my wife and her two brothers traveling frequently to her home and staying to help out. He is currently in a facility dedicated to LBD and I stop by every few weeks or so when I am in town to visit.
Despite all the advances in food, medicine, science and technology, God has set a time for us to be here on earth and that is that. The body can be sustained a bit but the mind fades.


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## MoonRiver (Sep 2, 2007)

I've posted info about this before, but now there is a new study of 100 patients. I encourage everyone to get the book The End of Alzheimer's by Dale Bredesen, read the study _Reversal of Cognitive Decline: 100 Patients, _and use APOE4.info as a resource.

There are many survivors today because of the Bredesen Protocol. APOE4 has a list of practitioners, but be aware they are not screened or approved by APOE.INFO. There are practitioner reviews available on the site as well.

You may also be able to get the names of practitioners in your area by calling Bredesen @ 800.450.0805.


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## farmrbrown (Jun 25, 2012)

MoonRiver said:


> I've posted info about this before, but now there is a new study of 100 patients. I encourage everyone to get the book The End of Alzheimer's by Dale Bredesen, read the study _Reversal of Cognitive Decline: 100 Patients, _and use APOE4.info as a resource.
> 
> There are many survivors today because of the Bredesen Protocol. APOE4 has a list of practitioners, but be aware they are not screened or approved by APOE.INFO. There are practitioner reviews available on the site as well.
> 
> You may also be able to get the names of practitioners in your area by calling Bredesen @ 800.450.0805.


I've heard of diet influences, that's one of the reasons we moved in with her. She wasn't eating right and stopped exercising.
But I hadn't heard of Bredsen, I'll as her doctor about it.


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## MoonRiver (Sep 2, 2007)

farmrbrown said:


> I've heard of diet influences, that's one of the reasons we moved in with her. She wasn't eating right and stopped exercising.
> But I hadn't heard of Bredsen, I'll as her doctor about it.


He started out looking for the magic drug and many years later found it was more environmental and diet related, and no one drug could fix it.

I'm borrowing someone else's analogy, but think of it as an electrical brownout. Obesity, type 2 diabetes, low magnesium, vitamin d deficiency, low hormone levels, high inflammation, high level of heavy metals, other toxins, leaky gut, genetics, etc all result in the the impairment of the mitochondria to produce energy, plus the body needs more energy to fight these diseases. Since the body doesn't have enough energy to run everything, it starts shutting things down to try to keep the body alive.

The way Bredesen addresses it is to tackle all the small diseases and restore adequate energy levels. Many of the tests are covered by Medicare and any good functional or integrative doctor should be able to help you. If it was me, I would be somewhat leery of a doctor who claims to be an Alzheimer's expert who offers only drug therapy, as no drugs have proven to have any long term benefit.

I encourage you to listen to the interview I linked above. Dr Rhonda Patrick, who does the interview, breaks things down so most people can understand it. That's the role she has given herself, to take complex medical information and present it so that the people that need the information can understand it.


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## Micheal (Jan 28, 2009)

This subject ( Alzheimer's ) is sorta hard to explain....
My wife's Aunt signed all necessary papers putting my wife in charge once she discovered her "Senior Moments" were lasting longer and getting more frequent. That stage lasted over a year with her living alone and functioning fairly normal. Then she was taken to a hospital with pneumonia. There she went from her "normal" to not knowing why she was there and not knowing some people. Within the next 6 months it was a rapid downhill slide to her passing away in a nursing home.

With my MIL it was a very slow progression lasting well over 3 years with her living with us for the last 2+.... It also started as the "Senior moments" were longer and more often; then times of forgetfulness and anger usually against anyone not there. We were considering a nursing home when she had a heart attack and passed.

Words of wisdom - very few that I can pass on. Other then be forever forgiving, and accept help or ask for it before needed....


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## farmrbrown (Jun 25, 2012)

Yesterday was a hard day.
She spent all day "going thru her papers" which means stacks of mail from months ago that she can't throw away, mostly junk mail.
Questioning every bill and notice that's been taken care of months ago.
Meantime I unplugged the kitchen drain that was packed with 10 inches of food.
The finale was an argument where I was told to shut up (my favorite) and she got emotional.

This morning she awoke with miraculous news.
Her eye is all better, brain is clear and she's cured!
She's putting on her best act and best behavior in the hopes that we'll move out and leave her alone again.


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## farmrbrown (Jun 25, 2012)

This week had more bad days than good and I expect that will become the norm. Lots of "looking for things" that were found for her the day before or earlier the same day. 
There's something called "Sundown Syndrome" that I noticed even before we moved in, which is a type of desperate anxiety as evening approaches and can last for the next few hours. 
We started taking her to a senior center in town on Tuesdays and Thursdays that specializes in Alzheimer's care. 
Simple balance exercises, socialization and a Bigass lunch, lol.
They have a support group for caregivers too so it should help us all as time goes by.


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## farmrbrown (Jun 25, 2012)

More bad days than good this week, but we're making the best of it.
We got an important event done on Monday, her cornea transplant. Her right eye vision was blurred badly and made everything she tries to do worse, from walking to reading. Doc said it went well and in a month she should be 100%.

We got an Rx for anti anxiety meds today and might start them soon.
She's beginning to realize all the reasons we moved in and started crying about it this morning. I hate crying, I think most men do. All I could do was hug her and tell her we were here for her and everything would be ok.

She still likes to walk and me and/or the dogs usually go with her.
I think soon, I'll put a latch high up on the front door though. But I don't want to use it until I have to - when she absolutely can't go alone.

I'd like this part to last as long as possible, the next stage is gonna be rough.


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## alida (Feb 8, 2015)

farmrbrown said:


> More bad days than good this week, but we're making the best of it.
> We got an important event done on Monday, her cornea transplant. Her right eye vision was blurred badly and made everything she tries to do worse, from walking to reading. Doc said it went well and in a month she should be 100%.
> 
> We got an Rx for anti anxiety meds today and might start them soon.
> ...


I have also dealt, and am again dealing with a relative in early stages of dementia/alzheimers. It's not too bad now,but this time next year she'll probably be intermediate care. When my relative was prescribed anti anxiety meds it made a world of a difference. Suddenly,and I do mean suddenly, she was back doing laundry in the laundry room on the same floor she lives on in her building. She is reading novels again, and playing cards. It's not a cure,it's not slowing her deteriorating mind, but she became less anxious,and then more like her old self. Our geriatrician told us that people with dementia have so much going on in their heads and they can't sort everything out anymore which is tiring and frustrating for them. 

I'll bet that the cornea surgery will make a difference too,now that she won't have to expend more energy trying to see things and that'll be less frustrating for her. I am glad the surgery went well.


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## farmrbrown (Jun 25, 2012)

That's helpful.
One of the big problems is figuring out if something is gonna work or not because feedback from her isn't exactly reliable right now. But I do know she's anxious about what's happening even though she tries to deny it all.


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## alida (Feb 8, 2015)

farmrbrown said:


> That's helpful.
> One of the big problems is figuring out if something is gonna work or not because feedback from her isn't exactly reliable right now. But I do know she's anxious about what's happening even though she tries to deny it all.


Everyone reacts differently to meds, I suspect you'll know when or if the prescription she's on is working. It took my relative about a month to really start responding,which we were told would be the case. 
You mentioned walking and your dogs. We also make sure that she gets out to exercise classes in her building, and walks outside too. All that movement increases blood flow to the brain which is never a bad thing. My aunt loves Thursdays when therapy dogs are brought in for anyone to pet, at her retirement place. Dogs don't ask anything of her,except to be petted.


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## farmrbrown (Jun 25, 2012)

It's been an up and down week again, but the decline is progressing.
Now the paranoia stage is getting ugly, with "everyone is acting suspicious and out to get me".
We have all conspired to control everything and doing it to harm her. 

There have been 2 mildly violent episodes with my wife, both involving taking her purse/wallet away so she doesn't spend hours (literally) day and night "looking and sorting" her things. I don't want her I.D., CC's and medical cards lost.

I'm now going to tell the story of the last few weeks as a cautionary tale to those who haven't dealt with this yet.

Mom said she hadn't had a bowel movement for days. We were naturally concerned and started making sure she got lots of fiber, then laxatives, then more aggressive laxatives thru out the week. Still nothing ( so she claimed).
This is what I caution, verify EVERYTHING so you don't make a well intentioned mistake.

I stopped the laxatives after a few days and just let her have a normal good diet.
Last night I used an easy method to verify things, by turning off the water to her commode. Sure enough, this morning everyone's plumbing is working properly, although the answer from her was the same, "Nope, nothing yet."

Even when they seem coherent and lucid, you have to make sure all the facts are verified before taking any drastic measures. 
A word to the wise.


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

leave them the purse with a whole bunch of stuff for them to sort. add to it if you want to. this is what I did. just set aside the important cards. after a little while they wont notice. sorting serves to calm them.


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## alida (Feb 8, 2015)

newfieannie said:


> leave them the purse with a whole bunch of stuff for them to sort. add to it if you want to. this is what I did. just set aside the important cards. after a little while they wont notice. sorting serves to calm them.


I agree whole heartedly with this advice. It's the actions of sorting what's in her purse that's important to her.


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## farmrbrown (Jun 25, 2012)

alida said:


> I agree whole heartedly with this advice. It's the actions of sorting what's in her purse that's important to her.


Yep, that's the plan as time goes on, like giving a toddler a set of plastic keys to play with. My wife would let her kids play "house" with an old set of pots and pans while she was cooking in the kitchen.
It really is like watching someone age, in reverse.


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## farmrbrown (Jun 25, 2012)

I just did one of my daily and nightly chores - showing which buttons are "volume" and "Channels" on the TV remote.
Last week I was searching for a "simple" remote, but been to busy to get one ordered.
After the 4th time tonight, I went to my truck and may have found a quick fix.
Electrical tape. 
I taped over 70% of the buttons, blacking them out of sight, leaving only the essential ones visible.
I'll know in an hour if that worked.


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## Alice In TX/MO (May 10, 2002)

Good plan.


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

it's only childs play yet. wait until they start yanking wires from everything, tearing down drapes so hard they bend the rods. tying knots in all the bedclothes . beating holes in walls, stripping off clothes and defecating over everything in sight. but long before that most people have given up. ~Georgia


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## Micheal (Jan 28, 2009)

Something you should look into, even if not needed, is placement into a place that would be more capable of handling events of a violent nature.... Only as you may need to protect the caregiver.....
Hopefully your situation won't get to that, but....... sadly it's better to be prepared.


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## farmrbrown (Jun 25, 2012)

Micheal said:


> Something you should look into, even if not needed, is placement into a place that would be more capable of handling events of a violent nature.... Only as you may need to protect the caregiver.....
> Hopefully your situation won't get to that, but....... sadly it's better to be prepared.


Yes, that's one of the 1st steps we took at the beginning of this adventure.


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## MoonRiver (Sep 2, 2007)

Just came across this and thought I would share. "How omega-3 DHA in phospholipid form may bypass faulty brain transport in Alzheimer's disease"

I listed the easy to understand blog post 1st.
I listed Dr Rhonda Patrick's paper on Alzheimer's 2nd.
I listed a link to the APOE4 forum discussion of Dr Patrick's recommendations 3rd.

https://fastlifehacks.com/dr-rhonda-patricks-apoe4-paper-summarized/
https://www.fasebj.org/doi/pdf/10.1096/fj.201801412R
https://www.apoe4.info/forums/viewtopic.php?t=5454


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## Southernboho (Apr 11, 2015)

farmrbrown said:


> I just did one of my daily and nightly chores - showing which buttons are "volume" and "Channels" on the TV remote.
> Last week I was searching for a "simple" remote, but been to busy to get one ordered.
> After the 4th time tonight, I went to my truck and may have found a quick fix.
> Electrical tape.
> ...


I'm late to this post but I purchased a super simple remote for my 85 yr old mom on amazon. It is helpful to me even if she is unable to learn anything new now!


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## farmrbrown (Jun 25, 2012)

Southernboho said:


> I'm late to this post but I purchased a super simple remote for my 85 yr old mom on amazon. It is helpful to me even if she is unable to learn anything new now!


Hey, that's ok, I appreciate you bumping the thread back into circulation again.
I looked at a few easy/simple remotes but decided for various reasons on something else that has proven much better. My wife even wants one now, lol.
It's basically an external speaker box with a volume knob on the front for the TV. It has low, medium and high tone settings on the back for those with hearing loss at certain frequencies.
I did finally turn off the tv speaker using the menu settings because she was still trying to adjust the volume with the remote.
Now that I've done that, it's quiet in the house and she can hear her programs with no problem. The little box, about the size of a portable radio, sits next her chair. It's mobile and has a range of 100 ft.
It wasn't cheap, but it works well.
Got it on Amazon.


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## Southernboho (Apr 11, 2015)

farmrbrown said:


> Hey, that's ok, I appreciate you bumping the thread back into circulation again.
> I looked at a few easy/simple remotes but decided for various reasons on something else that has proven much better. My wife even wants one now, lol.
> It's basically an external speaker box with a volume knob on the front for the TV. It has low, medium and high tone settings on the back for those with hearing loss at certain frequencies.
> I did finally turn off the tv speaker using the menu settings because she was still trying to adjust the volume with the remote.
> ...


I also bought a digital clock with a large readout that has the day, time, morning, afternoon or evening and day of the week. She gets so confused still about the day of the week because she goes by what day it "feels" like, as if the clock would be wrong. 

I have thought about some wireless headphones to hear TV. She cares nothing about tv (probably because it's hard to follow) and it's one of the only engagements she has even though she lives in an assisted living. The external box sounds like something I might like myself as I know anyone over 40 has hearing loss.

She is also on some new medication (booster) for dementia. The neuro said it will likely buy us another year perhaps before more significant decline.


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