# How *not* to approach other businesses...



## Jen H (Jun 16, 2004)

When you're approaching stores or other businesses about selling your goods, buying advertising in your paper, or combining orders to get a better price:

Do _NOT_ open the conversation by addressing the business owner as "Honey" or "Hun". The answer is automatically "No".

I mention this because it's happened twice in the last 2 days. Different salesmen coming in, one wanting to sell me advertising space, the other wanting me to carry his line of greeting cards. 

"Hello, I was told you were the owner."
"I am. How can I help you?" While I'm extending my hand for a handshake.
"Well, Hun, I'm selling space on this billboard..." "Well, Honey, I'm carrying this line of cards that I thought would go great in your store..."

The answer was no. Before I'd even heard the rest of the speech. I do not know this person, have never socialized with this person, and I expect to be treated in a business like manner. I don't expect everybody to know my name - addressing me as "Maam or Miss" is just fine - I do expect to be shown some respect.

The man selling advertising had the gall to hand me a business card and tell me to speak to my husband about this. I told him that _I _run the store, and handed the card back to him.

If either of these salesmen had approached me more respectfully, they might have had a sale. Just thought I'd toss this out - The way you approach the owner or buyer for a store really matters.


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## sisterpine (May 9, 2004)

I know what you mean, it simply amazes me in this day and age! I actually had an insurance salesman (i had gone to the office to make a change in our deductible) tell me "sweetie, why dont you just have your husband call and tell me what changes he wants to make" LOL. Fired him on the spot! sis


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## clovis (May 13, 2002)

I used to call on new car dealerships, and simply cannot believe how they treat women in the business.

I also have accompanied women who were shopping for cars, and am astounded that every salesman kept trying to sell me, the guy. I kept repeating that I had no decison making power whatsoever, but they kept talking to me, as if the gal(s) I was with was a figment of my imagination.

I also know of a store that is great, and generally cater to men, but their counter people continue to talk down to women.

It is simply amazing how some business are out to ailenate 1/2 of the world's population!

Clove


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## clovis (May 13, 2002)

This reminds me of a saying that one of the sales managers had taped to his computer:

Using the jawbone of a jackass, Samson slayed 1000 Philistines. Over 1000 years later, jackasses all over the world use their own jawbone to slay 1,000,000 sales every day.

Clove


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## Peacock (Apr 12, 2006)

This reminds me of an incident that happened last summer. I was out somewhere with the kids, and when I came home, my husband was in our driveway chatting with some guy. I was informed that my husband had all but agreed to have me buy ad space in this community directory for MY company.

I said no. For one thing, I don't feel it is the best way to target my market - my market is not the local community. And for another thing, this year I am concentrating on finishing my degree, not marketing my business. I'm still working, just not pushing for new clients at the moment. 

And for another thing, he should have asked ME, not my husband. But my dear hubby said, oh, he's a nice guy -- it's a good deal, isn't it? He kept pushing and pushing. He is terrible at saying no. I have no problem with it. But this salesman saw the wedge and kept at it until I BOUGHT THE AD. UGH!!!!! 

It wasn't much, only about $80 for the year. It just bugs me.


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## Cygnet (Sep 13, 2004)

clovis said:


> I used to call on new car dealerships, and simply cannot believe how they treat women in the business.
> 
> I also have accompanied women who were shopping for cars, and am astounded that every salesman kept trying to sell me, the guy. I kept repeating that I had no decison making power whatsoever, but they kept talking to me, as if the gal(s) I was with was a figment of my imagination.
> 
> ...


A car dealership lost a sale with me a few years ago. I was planning on buying a truck that day. Showed up ready to sign on the dotted line. I knew exactly what I wanted. Just needed somebody to prep the paperwork so I could sign it, right? EASY sale for them.

The salesman:

A) When I mentioned I had a boyfriend, suggested I have my boyfriend come in so he could make "both of us" happy -- and that my boyfriend might want a "better" truck than what I wanted. Suggested we could cosign to get a better truck. Hello, this was MY truck, not my boyfriend's truck! And I didn't need anyone to cosign.

B) When I said that wasn't happening, that this was MY truck, he tried to upsell me to a better truck, trying to tell me the truck I wanted wouldn't work for me and that I really wanted all the bells and whistles. And called me honey, repeatedly. "Honey, I think you don't understand how nice automatic windows are. And honey, that six cylinder will never be able to pull a horse trailer ..." (I don't own any horses. He just assumed I did. I have goats. I think a six cylinder silverado could handle a goat or two in the bed, or eight or ten bales of hay, yes? And as it turns out, I was right.)

C) Then when I INSISTED I wanted the six cylinder silverado extended cab in red that he had on the lot, he left me sitting at a table for half an hour before coming back and offering me a "good deal" on another car. When I said NO, he said, "Honey, I don't think you understand how good a deal that is." (Actually, it wasn't.) 

D) And then he walked off with a MAN to help him, and I noted his tone with the man was much more polite. And the man had just arrived. 

So there I was ready to BUY a truck ... woulda been an easy, easy commission for the guy. All he had to do was give me what I wanted, not argue, not demean me, and not help a man first who'd arrived later than I had. 

I got up, found the dealership's manager's office, told the manager why I wasn't buying a car, and then stomped off with the manager chasing after me. And the manager was offering good deals on the eight cylinder king cab that I didn't want and was calling me honey as I left! 

I bought a similar truck at another dealership -- where they were also rude, but not quite to that extent. Annoyingly, they didn't have a red one. 

-- Leva


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## pickapeppa (Jan 1, 2005)

Not exactly home business related, but had to share that my daughter works for a man who's sole reason in voting for McCain was because he picked a pretty woman as a running mate.

He also pinches her behind at least once every shift.

We the people do not fare better off when people are desperate enough for money to put up with that sort of behavior, but with the job market as tough as it is, good paying jobs are getting worse in terms of civility and professionalism toward those under your 'control'.

It's disgusting, the civil erosion occurring in the workplace and business world.


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## Alice In TX/MO (May 10, 2002)

I've also had the displeasure of being told to bring in hubby. I didn't buy from that salesman, but got a different one to sell me the truck I wanted. :hobbyhors

I think things are getting better, overall, but there's a few horses' behinds left.:lookout:


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## ManySolutions (May 27, 2014)

Despite everything we hear to the contrary, sexism is alive and well. The disrespectful treatment of women is evident everywhere in society. Language, paychecks, jokes, traditional "man" jobs, laws, policies, sports, medical industry, and even religion are just a few places where it crops up.
I believe it is the way all young boys and girls are treated by the loving adults around them. These are not bad people, just hurt in this area themselves.
One day, little girls will be encouraged to be smart and strong, and little boys will be encouraged to be loving and gentle. Both will be cherished as being fully human from the moment they are born.
Just my two cents.
Eric
PS. Men doing dishes IS fighting sexism.


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

I'm not quite 50, but I remember a day when men did not use curse words in front of women.
I remember when they opened doors, said Ma'am, or Miss.

I walked into a car dealership (I have purchased all cars since I was 25, my dad showed me how to do it) April to buy my daughter the car she wanted.
He lied to me twice while we looked at the car (before and after the test drive).
We sat down to negotiate, I gave him my low ball, he Volleyed back......I gave him my bottom dollar and he said "why don't you bring your husband back for him to see".
I said "I don't have or need one of those, thanks for you time" and we got up and walked out.

My daughter was devastated.
I got in my Jeep and we drove off......I told her "this is part of the game, trust me, he will call".
I got 5 min down the road........and he called.
He got within 400.00 of where I wanted to be, my daughter said she would pay the extra, she wanted the car THAT BAD.......but it was 3500.00 less than what they were asking.

You would THINK with our 'diversity' classes and our '_______-neutral' society, that women would not be discriminated like they are, but they are.

I will say, taking a loan out with the Small Business Administration, as a divorced woman, I do have the advantage over the single white male......that's a fact.


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## sisterpine (May 9, 2004)

Many years ago, like in 1984, I was a cop stationed in a rural area to help with a big copper mine strike. There was a death at the local rodeo grounds and I was sent to sort it out. I asked to see the rodeo manager and met with a man who was likely 20 years older than me. Told him I was here to investigate the recent death of one bull rider. He made the mistake of saying "Well missy, bad things sometimes happen at these real man events or some such". I immediately told him to turn around and put his hands behind his back because he was under arrest. He was stunned and finally asked why I was arresting him. Told him that anyone who was enough of an idiot to call a woman wearing a gun and badge Missy must be trying to distract the investigation so he is under arrest for hampering my investigation. It was sooooo hard not to laugh!


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## suitcase_sally (Mar 20, 2006)

It's not just men. I stopped at a party store for some bread last summer and the GIRL behind the counter, who was all of 19 or so, called me "honey". I told her that I would give her some very valuable advice. I said "never call someone older than you "honey". She looked at me aas if I was speaking Greek.


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## Danaus29 (Sep 12, 2005)

I'll admit, when I'm in the hospital and not feeling so hot (or pretty) I don't mind the nurses calling me honey. But in a business transaction it won't fly. 

I'm glad I haven't encountered rude car salesmen the last two times we bought cars. Especially since we really had to have the latest. I would have walked no matter how sweet the deal or how great the car.


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