# Isolation in retirement



## Ana Bluebird

I wonder how to avoid the increasing isolation that comes with retirement and getting along in age. I see fewer people calling, fewer relatives (so busy, you know), and less interest in what I'm doing. I've done volunteer work, took classes, joined organizations, etc., but is it inevitable that I am becoming more boring to be around? My energy level sure isn't what it used to be. Just wondering how the rest of you are doing.


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## jwal10

I try to stay busy, volunteer work can become stale. I try to find a new interest every few months to keep my and others interests fresh. I like working with kids, they aren't jaded. It does get old listening to "old people" complain all the time, lol. Sweetie is probably tired of me too. I get out and walk, people get used to you going by and want to talk. I really don't have any "hobbies". I did a lot of construction so I do little odd jobs for people and keep up the recycle center. Look around and see what you can do for your community. Little things mean so much for the people who need a "lift"....James


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## mekasmom

Ana Bluebird said:


> I wonder how to avoid the increasing isolation that comes with retirement and getting along in age.


A lot of areas around here have "senior centers" where they meet for a lunch a couple of times a week at a small price. They also do games and just socialize. Churches also provide senior meetings for quilting, men's breakfasts, and different things.


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## where I want to

I live too far for most visitors, so if I want company, I go to town. 
But to tell you the truth, I am simply over the need to associate with others constantly. I thought that I had to do something about it but it turns out, I don't.
Yes, I will become "strange." But that is because I am no longer interested in the milieu. I've even come to the point where I don't really want to go to town- I might miss something here that I really wanted to do. I'm not bored because I do what interests me. 
The contact through things like this forum are more than enough for daily life.


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## pattycake

Ana, I would have been in your shoes if both my adult children had not adopted children of their own. I am in the throes of child care and it is a pleasure. I thought I would be joining our local Senior Center but it turns out that I don't have time as the grands are so involved in activities that need transportation and attendance. Life is good for us.


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## pancho

The part about retirement I like is the isolation.
I don't really like people. The less I see of them the better I like it.


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## ChristieAcres

When DH and I began attending a local Church around three months ago. There are quite a few retired folks there, very active in the local community, and all are leading busy lives. I think that is the key, getting involved in clubs, activities, and volunteer work.


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## WhiteStar Acres

Meh, you get used to it. Sometimes weeks go by and I don't see anyone.

You grow to kinda like it, actually.


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## ceresone

Couldnt have said it better, Pancho!


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## Micheal

Gee, I never looked at my retirement life-style as being one in "isolation"..... hermit-like maybe but not cold and unforgiving as "isolation" sounds. But then I'm many times alone but never lonely....... it's an attitude I guess.


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## Ana Bluebird

Gees, guess I need to relax and enjoy my alone time---sure, got lots of things I can do. Thanks for your input, folks!


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## whiterock

I spend most of my time alone, but after teaching school for all those years the quiet is good for me. I got friends to visit with after hours, they all still work. Gives me time to lie about or do what i want when i want.


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## galee

I seem to have no time to feel isolated on the farm. There is always plenty to do and sometimes a month will go by and I will not have left home. My DH's parents live with us--elderly and frail with multiple medical problems--so it is the old retired person(me) taking care of the really old retired persons (inlaws). Somehow it works although I occasionally long for those easy 12 hour shifts in the city ER.....but I can go into town whenever I want, I just don't seem to need city-time as much as before I retired from "paycheck receiving" nursing.


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## tarbe

After 26 years stuffed among people like sardines, we are ready for some isolation!


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## SageLady

I enjoy a quiet life. I don't feel a need to be around people constantly anymore. DH is the same. We enjoy being at home, doing things we enjoy, and spending time with our critters. Still enjoy long visits from the grandkids about once a month when they come down our way.


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## greenmcdonalds

What I see is, if u lived a life where neighbors came over and hung out all the time, plus u love to be with people, you will have a hard time being alone. I care for 2 ladies in their 90's, the one who loved talking to people is really taking it hard that no one comes over, the neighbors don't talk and all her friends have long passed. She is down and crying everyday about the fun she had with friends and neighbors. The other lady don't even care to go outside the house. When family stop over, she is glad they leave. Her family takes care of her very good and is very loving towards her. This all happen when they turned 70, when friends and family stop spending time with the first one. What is really sad, is the first one sits by the front door looking out at all the people walking by and wishing someone would stop and say Hi! just once. Both are in good health too. Isolation when u are younger is fine, but look out when u are really old it could be really lonely.


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## Nevada

pancho said:


> The part about retirement I like is the isolation.
> I don't really like people. The less I see of them the better I like it.


That's fine, but elderly people eventually reach a point where they can no longer live alone or manage their own affairs. It happens to some in their 70s, and others not until their 80s or 90s, but it eventually happens to everyone who lives long enough. Isolation becomes dangerous for the elderly, particularly those who are a fall risk.

Nursing homes and assisted living facilities (glorified nursing homes) are overkill for most, but but without friends or family to take them in there's no place else to put them.

The point is that we'll all need someone eventually. Enjoy your isolation while you can.


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## unregistered168043

Nevada said:


> That's fine, but elderly people eventually reach a point where they can no longer live alone or manage their own affairs. .


Not so, many die long before that ever happens. My parents both died LONG before they were unable to manage themselves. When my dad died he was still running his business. My Grandmother is 99, lives alone, takes care of herself without help.

In fact, I have not known one person in my family who ever reached a point where they couldn't take care of themselves. Broad statements like yours are almost always false.


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## unregistered168043

Ana Bluebird said:


> I wonder how to avoid the increasing isolation that comes with retirement and getting along in age. I see fewer people calling, fewer relatives (so busy, you know), and less interest in what I'm doing. I've done volunteer work, took classes, joined organizations, etc., but is it inevitable that I am becoming more boring to be around? My energy level sure isn't what it used to be. Just wondering how the rest of you are doing.


Ana, I recommend a part time job. It will keep you busy and you will enjoy your solitude more because there will be less of it. You will also be most likely to meet friends and get a social life through work. Most people meet their friends and mates at work these days. Not to mention it will put a little jingle in your pocket, keep you fitter, and sharper!


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## Nevada

Darntootin said:


> Not so, many die long before that ever happens. My parents both died LONG before they were unable to manage themselves. When my dad died he was still running his business. My Grandmother is 99, lives alone, takes care of herself without help.
> 
> In fact, I have not known one person in my family who ever reached a point where they couldn't take care of themselves. Broad statements like yours are almost always false.


Your 99 year-old grandmother's independence is the exception, not the rule.


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## unregistered168043

Nevada said:


> Your 99 year-old grandmother's independence is the exception, not the rule.


Your right, most people die long before that. I'd bet the majority of people never reach a point of dependence....not for too long anyway.


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## pancho

Nevada said:


> That's fine, but elderly people eventually reach a point where they can no longer live alone or manage their own affairs. It happens to some in their 70s, and others not until their 80s or 90s, but it eventually happens to everyone who lives long enough. Isolation becomes dangerous for the elderly, particularly those who are a fall risk.
> 
> Nursing homes and assisted living facilities (glorified nursing homes) are overkill for most, but but without friends or family to take them in there's no place else to put them.
> 
> The point is that we'll all need someone eventually. Enjoy your isolation while you can.


I have a little less than 40 years left.
When I have my 100th birthday I will have to decide if I want to have a few more.
Right now I am satisfied living to 100. That might change when I near that 100th birthday.


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## acabin42

A friend of mine I just visited challenged me to learn 3 new things a year. So far, I have picked apples, and put some in freezer. I have made applesauce, and I learned to crochet those new frilly neck scarves. All in the past 3weeks. So I plan to learn something new every month or two.


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## lmrose

We still have the small farm which my husband loves except he is getting tired of working all the time. Animals are a lot of extra work so he is cutting down. He is 67 1/2 and has some health issues. We don't drive but he has lots of friends who stop in to talk to him or take him places. He loves to write and likes debating issues and generally loves people. He also has a large extended family. So he is quite content and enjoys alone time too.

I am busy also as there is always work to do. Unlike my husband I enjoy isolation and being alone. I like company when I invite them or if I go to town and am around people. I use the computer at the library and enjoy this sight.

That is alright but at home I prefer to catch up on reading, writing or other things I never had time for when raising five children over 40 years. I enjoy camping out back with only wild animals and farm animals for company too. My husband does not like camping so I go alone..

I tried applying for volunteer work at several places but was turned down because I don' t drive. They was afraid I wouldn't be reliable! It doesn't matter though as I don't do well in social situations. I do enjoy doing things that help other people though like collecting clothes for the Salvation Army or food for the food bank. People drop things off and I sort them and find a way to get them to town.

I can't see either of us as we age ever getting bored or lonely as we have very active minds. There are more things I want to explore than there is time to do them!


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## Nevada

pancho said:


> I have a little less than 40 years left.
> When I have my 100th birthday I will have to decide if I want to have a few more.
> Right now I am satisfied living to 100. That might change when I near that 100th birthday.


You just never know how your retirement will go. In 10 years you could come down with something that makes you think Richard Nixon is still president, but you could also remain sharp as a tack until 100. There's just no way to tell. In that respect, getting old really sucks.


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## pancho

Nevada said:


> You just never know how your retirement will go. In 10 years you could come down with something that makes you think Richard Nixon is still president, but you could also remain sharp as a tack until 100. There's just no way to tell. In that respect, getting old really sucks.


My body will probably outlast my mind.
Some will say I don't use my mind enough to wear it out.


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## rockhound

Wait a minute...you mean Nixon is not President? Who is? Somebody better I hope.
Seriously I had to deal with this issue of isolation a couple years ago. I chose to buy 2 acres and build a little cabin on it. Had a garden planned out etc when I came down with severe gout. That sent me to the hosp where they found all the things I didn't know about since not going to a doc for 40+ years except to the dentist. In the end it was the loneliness and not med condition that drove me to move back to a small town and live with an old friend. Things have gone down hill in stages. Now I walk with a cane when I go anywhere. The Hospice nurse comes regularly to remind me...it won't be long now. I'm glad I don't have to be alone in this mess but peace and quiet is good too.


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## goatlady

Life quality also depends on genetics. All the women in my family for the lat 4 generations lived to at least 95 with good health and full faculties and fully independent. I plan on the same, just moving a bit slower in my 70s lately!


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## Use Less

I keep busy with a music studio of 16 students, volunteer, garden and take produce to a farm market, play music out. DH doesn't do a lot. He's pseudo-retired: a long history of unemployed/under-employed and is "still looking." I do see some "old-people" traits in myself, in particular talking too much and too fast when I am around someone I don't see much. I try to be aware and to _stop_ when folks' look glazed. Some days I still feel isolated. That's when I come back to friendly websites or facebook a few times. Not quite the solution, so I'm working on not doing that.


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## ceresone

I'm 75, live alone on small farm (40acres) since my Husband died last March. Recently found I have A-Fib,thats why I feel weak doing chores. BUT-dr's reassure me that as soon as they find the right meds, my strength will come back. I've always been active, worked outside home, till I started my own business, ran for 22 years.
I love being alone--and dont much like people! I have 3 or 4 children, 8 grandkids--and too many ggk to count. My idea of a great day is a great, not good, great book, and a Diet Coke-and quiet!!


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## Ana Bluebird

I love these stories of what you folks are doing. MORE, please!


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## SFM in KY

I do very well with my own company, but then I grew up that way as well ... remote ranch, no siblings, busy parents and grandparents and no other children close enough to play with regularly.

DH is a bit more social than I am but he drives (I don't any more, thanks to an accident several years ago) so he sees the local farmers at the feed store and post office plus has the VFW. I go grocery shopping once a month along with a trip to the library, occasional trips to the vet, don't visit locally but stay in touch with my horse/dog/book friends via the Internet and that suits me just fine. I prefer to 'talk' to people with similar interests and actually do not find it enjoyable to spend much time 'making conversation' with people I don't have things in common with. I actually enjoy being alone.

I think if I were asked to suggest just one thing to do before retirement that would make retirement easier, it would be to develop hobbies. Learn to do something, even if you don't get good at it before you retire, find things that you enjoy doing ... anything that looks interesting ... and some things that are physically active and some things that are less physically demanding. I used to ride horses a lot, daylight to dark some days and am no longer able to do that. I miss it, but can still ride some and work with the youngsters on the ground ... and I do more reading and artwork now, which I had less time for when I was more active.


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## goatsareus

This is exactly the issue I have been considering for the past three years. My husband died 18 months ago, leaving me alone on a rural farm with no neighbors within sight. Even though I am an introvert, I am not happy with this isolation. I need to see and talk with others. My sister is a co-developer of an intentional community for older folks, that is currently being building from the ground up. The primary purpose of this community is to have close neighbors who can look after each other, support each other emotionally and spiritually, be within walking distance of grocery stores, the library and the farmers market. I have bought a lot in the development and will be moving 1500 miles to build a new house, as soon as I get the guts to list my current farm on the market.


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## newfieannie

summer time i garden in the city and the country. i entertain quite a bit so that takes up a lot of time. i'm an avid reader. i can lose myself for hours in books. especially old english history. i knit,sew,craft.i'm a people person but do enjoy my own company also. never get lonely. ~Georgia


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## Bret

Richard Nixon is still president.


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## where I want to

goatsareus said:


> My sister is a co-developer of an intentional community for older folks, that is currently being building from the ground up.


Could you give more information on this? I wonder whether a community based on restrictions due to age would be allowed to stand. In my area senior housing run by the Salvation Army was forced to open their places to all who met the income requirements due to a lawsuit charging discrimination.


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## goatsareus

where I want to said:


> Could you give more information on this? I wonder whether a community based on restrictions due to age would be allowed to stand. In my area senior housing run by the Salvation Army was forced to open their places to all who met the income requirements due to a lawsuit charging discrimination.


This is basically an incorporated homeowners' association.

Here is a link to this co-housing community.

http://www.cohousing.org/directory/view/22568


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## where I want to

Thank you- I saved it to check out further.


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## ceresone

Thats interesting, goatsareus, I have a dear friend who lives not far from there, In Questa.Her husband died about 4 years ago, and left her quite well off, except shes a social person.


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## goatsareus

ceresone said:


> Thats interesting, goatsareus, I have a dear friend who lives not far from there, In Questa.Her husband died about 4 years ago, and left her quite well off, except shes a social person.


yep, Questa is just up the road from Taos. Is your friend happy with her living situation? I am not sure what you mean, "except she's a social person". I REALLY enjoy living by myself and expect to live that way for the rest of my life, but I am finding I need some companionship on a regular basis. I do have many friends here in Ohio, but I have to drive up to 40 minutes to visit them. I am looking forward to a living situation where I can walk out my back door to see neighbors, and retreat through that same door, when I want to.


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## TheMartianChick

One of the things that has delayed us in buying a homestead is that we know that our needs will change eventually. I love really big old houses , but I know that we both have bad knees and a bad back, so the big old house would be doable now, but might not be a good idea for later.

I love the idea of having between 10-50 acres, far from family members and everybody else. However, will we really want that much land and solitude 20 years from now? What if one of us dies?

I love the idea of having farm animals again. However, we love to travel and animals might tether us to the homestead.

Soo... we have stayed right here in our big old city house on our little 3/4 acres. Those ever-present relatives are close at hand when we need something and they take care of our (few) animals when we go out of town for a few days. When we only had a dog, we were able to take 3 week long vacations.

We'll move eventually, but I want to have all of the details worked out before we do. I really hate the moving process and don't want to have to do it again in 20 years.


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## Alex

Is it really possible to have all the details worked out? I don't think so. Because life changes. Still if we have a clear direction and vision, we should be able to advance quickly in that chosen direction.

Good luck in setting or recognizing those priorities.

All the best,
Alex


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## Ana Bluebird

I think Alex is right. If we had thought way down the road, we wouldn't have bought this 20 acres, built a house, fenced and cross fenced, had all kinds of animals, built sheds here and there. We are way out on a gravel road that gets impassable in winter. Nice, quiet, peaceful, never have to lock our doors, nice neighbors that leave us alone most of the time, but watch out for us when we need it. BUT---now all that is getting to be too much to take care of---we will have to sell and move sometime---but when---I'm downsizing the animals now---maybe we can travel if we want. Can't mow all that acres, hate the roads in the winter, times change and we change whether we want to or not, hugh?


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## Drizler

Nevada said:


> Your 99 year-old grandmother's independence is the exception, not the rule.


Unfortunately yoiu are absolutely right here. Don't worry sooner or later everybody bites the bullet and it's the lucky few that just drift off in their sleep. If only it was that easy


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## Guest

I've been trying to start doing some volunteer work. Amazing how complicated it is to find a good avenue to volunteer without having to fit into some preconceived criteria. I may even have to take a few courses at the community college. I want to work with people who have kidney failure, I had a lot of experience with that when my wife was alive. Makes me feel like I'm doing something useful, just sending out feelers. But, no state agency is going to allow me to do anything like helping people the way I did her, but I can do little stuff around for folks. Whole lot of people are really sick and really old, and really good people to talk to. Nonjudgmental, and all around good people. I need to find something to do with that money I'll be getting from SS.


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## where I want to

It is possible to be toltally isolated in an apartment in the middle of city too. I think that there may be better access to services but it's being involved in something more than the location that makes for social interaction.
One of the things that has changed my level of interaction was the closing of the little local post office. It was a place I frequently went and there was always news to be had and frequently neighbors met who would otherwise never be seen.
Has anyone established a rural community center? Maybe a center for the volunteer fire department that was used fo soical gatherings?


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## Alex

We have a condominium in downtown Vancouver and our 1/4 section, log-cabin-homestead where the neighbors are 1/2 mile, then 1 mile, then 4 miles, etc. 

We have dear friends on the homestead who feel closer than you can imagine.

In town, within a 62 suite beautiful building, even the closet friend is seemingly more distant and not deeply connected like up at the cabin. However, the Hospital is a 10 minute walk or 2 minute ambulance ride away, etc: is that so important, as mentioned we are all going to die?

In the big city or in town at the cabin, there are gathering activities, if a person makes the effort and wants to get involved. Like rug-bowling and card games 26 miles away in town - Chetwynd -at the cabin; or YMCA, camera club, yacht club, Canadian Institute for the Blind (Nancy is now legally blind), all where there are many things to do, at big city.

If you are out in the country, going to a neighbors and asking, "How's your coffee Suzy or Sam?" is a sure way to visit for awhile. Even the busiest, younger, farmer likes a break.

It's, in my opinion, about personal desire to get involved, or not, with others, which can be both rewarding or difficult.


OH well, too many personal opinions? Good luck.
Alex


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## TxGypsy

This is an issue at any age, I'm 41. I have never been by myself until the last couple of years. I got married and had children very young and I homeschooled. I had literally never been alone....until all of a sudden...I was alone. 

At times I get incredibly lonely and I'll go into town. Fortunately that generally cures me from wanting to be around other folks for quite a while. Unfortunately the vast majority of folks aren't much of a pleasure to be around. I have considered doing a bit of part time babysitting in order to have children back in my life again, but then I realize I'd have to deal with their parents. 

I think once I get adjusted to being by myself all the time that I'll be content to stay that way. 

A schnauzer helps!


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## ldc

In response to TxMex's comment that isolation may be felt at any age, I'm 57 and work 1/2 time, and am living in town, and I'm feeling much too isolated. I took care of 6 elderly family members and my neighbor for about 16 yrs, adopted kids grew up and left (about 1000 miles away each), and then my long-term BF died unexpectedly. This is a hurricane area, so after Katrina and Gustav, many native born friends and in-comers as myself, left in droves. The result is that I don't really know anyone anymore. My church group is tiny, 7-12 people, and half of all Sundays I must work. I have acquaintances at the Y, where I've been going for 21 years but it's not a substitute. Yes, I'm trying to get out there and try new things....


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## lmrose

Nevada said:


> That's fine, but elderly people eventually reach a point where they can no longer live alone or manage their own affairs. It happens to some in their 70s, and others not until their 80s or 90s, but it eventually happens to everyone who lives long enough. Isolation becomes dangerous for the elderly, particularly those who are a fall risk.
> 
> Nursing homes and assisted living facilities (glorified nursing homes) are overkill for most, but but without friends or family to take them in there's no place else to put them.
> 
> The point is that we'll all need someone eventually. Enjoy your isolation while you can.


We know a man in 80's who lives alone and has no family of any kind. He is a happy chap and has no intenetion of going to a nursing home. He got a Medic Alert device which he wears around his neck. It is connected to a call center where people answer if he were to press the button on the device for assistence. He also checks in every morning and night to hello. If he doesn't the call center people call him. So far this is working for him and he still lives alone


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## stamphappy

I work in a public school (K-6) and we adore our older volunteers!!! 

-We have some ladies who do our Food-to-Flowers Program in the cafeteria every day for 2 hours. They help the children separate the recycle, compost, and actual trash. 
-We have men & women who read to or read with or listen to children read.
-We have volunteers who help prepare crafts, do crafts with children, or do hands-on in our classrooms.
-We have volunteers who prefer not to work with the children and instead work in the copy center---making copies, laminating, binding books, etc...
-Finally, we have volunteers who like to work in our gardens. 

Please go check out your local school; I bet they'd love to have you!


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## lmrose

My husband says he feels isolated because he shouldn't drive anymore. We haven't had a vehicle in fifthteen years because he falls asleep driving. I never drove because of impaired vision. His isolation is because he can't get up and go when he wants. I still get around because I walk or get rides with neighbors. We have an awful large amount of people who stop at our place all spring; summer and fall to admire the gardens and animals and talk. So my husband gets plenty of company.

Me less so as I don't go outside every time a car drives in our driveway. I am more of a hermit and enjoy isolation and camping alone. However when I go to town no end of people stop me to talk. Most are people I have met in past years and most are people looking for advice or help with something. I don't invite these people home as there would be no peace at home. Lately I am thinking I should take a course in counseling so be better able to assist people.I like to help where I can. However the rest of the time I prefer my husband's company or to be alone to study, read or write and observe nature.


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## Scott SW Ohio

pancho said:


> I have a little less than 40 years left.
> When I have my 100th birthday I will have to decide if I want to have a few more.
> Right now I am satisfied living to 100. That might change when I near that 100th birthday.


Pancho, you made this comment a long time ago but the thread was recently revived and I am seeing it for the first time.

I was reminded right away of Scott Nearing's purposeful death at age 100 as told by his wife Helen in the book "Loving and Leaving The Good Life." Have you read this, I wonder? I confess Nearing's story has made me think that, once the time comes that I am no longer useful (though not necessarily at 100) I would consider his exit strategy of first refusing food, then water, until I die.


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## goatsareus

goatsareus said:


> This is exactly the issue I have been considering for the past three years. My husband died 18 months ago, leaving me alone on a rural farm with no neighbors within sight. Even though I am an introvert, I am not happy with this isolation. I need to see and talk with others. My sister is a co-developer of an intentional community for older folks, that is currently being building from the ground up. The primary purpose of this community is to have close neighbors who can look after each other, support each other emotionally and spiritually, be within walking distance of grocery stores, the library and the farmers market. I have bought a lot in the development and will be moving 1500 miles to build a new house, as soon as I get the guts to list my current farm on the market.


Had a PM regarding this thread and wanted to update my situation. I did list my 75 acres with 2 homes the day after Thanksgiving 2012, they sold in under 48 hours and I got my asking price. One month later the moving van arrived and I was on my way to Northern New Mexico. Construction on my house started June 4 and I hope to be in by Christmas. I love the other community members; mostly introverted, active, interesting folks. This was the right move for me. I still struggle with high blood pressure and the inability to fall asleep at nights and am about to begin work on those issues. Having my sister and new found friends will be invaluable.


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## mnn2501

rockhound said:


> Wait a minute...you mean Nixon is not President? Who is? Somebody better I hope.


:umno: Boy are you in for a surprise!



Just saw - another year old thread re-opened


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## Billie in MO

stamphappy said:


> I work in a public school (K-6) and we adore our older volunteers!!!
> 
> -We have some ladies who do our Food-to-Flowers Program in the cafeteria every day for 2 hours. They help the children separate the recycle, compost, and actual trash.
> -We have men & women who read to or read with or listen to children read.
> -We have volunteers who help prepare crafts, do crafts with children, or do hands-on in our classrooms.
> -We have volunteers who prefer not to work with the children and instead work in the copy center---making copies, laminating, binding books, etc...
> -Finally, we have volunteers who like to work in our gardens.
> 
> Please go check out your local school; I bet they'd love to have you!



Thank you for appreciating us!!! I volunteer at my grandkids elementary school (K-3) with a program called "Living History". 

Every other Tuesday we read a book to the class (grandparents get first pick to read to their grandkids class).
Every Tuesday we have a one on one reading program where the kids read to us to help them read better.
Several times thru out the year we have special programs for each grade. We have Apple Day, Pumpkin Day, Science Day, Cookie Day, Tall Tales Day, and the highlight of the year is for the 2nd grade class---"Little House on the Prairie Day".
We do crafts with them, and they get to make food to eat, all the while learning about these things in a fun way.

And yes, this was an older thread but someone wanted an update from "goatsareus" about the cohousing intentional living community she was going to be moving to.


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## lmrose

We should be retired at 67 and 68 1/2 yr. instead of farming. When you realize one day you have more years behind you than in front it is time to prioritize.It is time to determine how you want to spend any remaining years. Instead we are working all the time from early Spring until winter. Thank goodness for winter so we get a rest!


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## motdaugrnds

This certainly is an interesting thread with so many diversified ideas as to enjoying life in their late years.

I am one of those who lived an entire life feeling alone (but not lonely) in a crowded room. Then spent my professional years in the middle of dysfunctional families and groups of children who could not fit into the traditional school classrooms. When I retired, I did so to care for a very ill mother; and that actually changed my entire world as it motivated me to get out of the cities and into a country way of life. Now I never feel alone! I walk around the acreage, sit in the pasture while the goats graze & watch my dogs interact with the goats and a variety of fowl. Then there is always something to do, i.e. something to repair or to build or to process for the freezers. I'm bonded with nature and for the first time in my life I feel I belong!

Isolation? I have no idea what that is! Getting up in years and losing the capacity to care for oneself doesn't even bother me because I know exactly what I will do should that time ever arise, which I doubt! (I believe my Jesus will return before I'm in that condition.)


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## Shrek

Ana Bluebird said:


> I wonder how to avoid the increasing isolation that comes with retirement and getting along in age. I see fewer people calling, fewer relatives (so busy, you know), and less interest in what I'm doing. I've done volunteer work, took classes, joined organizations, etc., but is it inevitable that I am becoming more boring to be around? My energy level sure isn't what it used to be. Just wondering how the rest of you are doing.


Avoid the isolation? I adore it and only interact with a few close acquaintances and gf just enough to be socially acceptable.


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## jwal10

Been a year since I last posted here. I retired in april and moved from town to the off grid cabin but haven't spent a lot of time there yet. We divide our time between our other properties. We rented the cottage in town. Some fix up work, a lot of putting food up for the winter and spending time together enjoying the properties. Staying busy we don't miss being around a lot of people. Haven't gotten bored yet....James


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## Sawmill Jim

Shrek said:


> Avoid the isolation? I adore it and only interact with a few close acquaintances and gf just enough to be socially acceptable.


I got to where i demand it . :clap: Have worked hard waiting and planning for the time i could do what and when i want too without outside inferences :awh:


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## HerseyMI

Darntootin said:


> Your right, most people die long before that. I'd bet the majority of people never reach a point of dependence....not for too long anyway.


I agree, most people die before they can receive full social security if they are able to draw any of Their SS in the first place.


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## lindamarie

3 miles down a 4wd dirt road, thru 3 locked gates, almost 80 acres, surrounded by several hundred more and no neighbors for 6 miles. We love it. Peace quiet. Completely off grid. Dh says I get "bushy" if I stay back here to long. We try not to venture out except for 2x a month. Right now its a little noisier, we have 3 grandchildren staying with us. They are enjoying it here.


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## mnn2501

HerseyMI said:


> I agree, most people die before they can receive full social security if they are able to draw any of Their SS in the first place.


Statistics prove that false.


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## jacqueg

My experience is that if you stay interested, enough other people will find you interesting. I'm 66, retired for 6 years, and have no problem striking up conversations wherever I go. I intent to start a small business, finally had the time to become a Master Gardener, and my favorite hangouts are the library and a lively internet cafe. People know my name, which is good, and also don't clutter up my life, which is very good!


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