# Has anyone pulled their public schooled child out to homeschool?



## ErinP (Aug 23, 2007)

My son had a mediocre kindergarten/first grade teacher. I had high hopes, but he seems to have a mediocre 2nd/3rd/4th teacher as well. (We're a really small school, hence the combined classrooms). 

I can count on three fingers the number of science units they've studied this year. Probably accounting for a grand total of 2 months worth of work. As a hands-on, unit-driven teacher, this really bothers me. 
Math/phonics/etc. is all drill and kill. Even the second graders get very little so far as manipulatives. It's memorization and seat-work. This bothers me. 
"Reading", despite what a large percentage of the day it represents, is more worksheets and seat-work. My son, who is relatively bright and has no LDs, is well below grade level for his reading. This bothers me.
He brings home enough paperwork each day to choke a horse but his actual exhibition of skills seem to be sub-standard. This bothers me.

As a public school teacher, I know the value of a child being educated with his peers. The learning (both negative _and_ positive) that occurs between kids beyond the lesson... 
Consequently, home schooling has never been considered beyond a passing thought. Instead, we "enrich" at home. Lots of real-life learning of science, social studies, reading, etc, etc. 

Then there's the social aspect. We live 12 miles from a town of 120. Thirty miles from a town of 1,000. School is a _very_ valuable connection to the world. 

And at 8, he is immature. I don't know why, he just is. He's also very soft hearted. His class (8 boys, 2-4) can be pretty typical boys and will pick at each other. Him included. He takes it _very_ hard when it's his turn at the bottom of the pile. But, being such a small school, he's rarely the bottom of the pile for long... (and yes, it has been an unfortunate lesson in treating others as you wish to be treated)

Today was one of those days, though. He started out recess trying to stick up for one of the kindergartners, became the focus instead, lost his temper and started yelling and crying (his answer for everything) and got benched for recess. His teacher asked him what they could try so he would learn to react different and he said he just wanted to stay home... 

My poor soft-hearted boy. I want to run in and "save" him. :kissy: But at the same time, I've seen enough recesses to know that there is great value in learning to deal with his peers, too. (and that undoubtedly I'm getting a _very_ ego-centric version of what's actually going on)



But all of this has piled on at the end of the year and I start pondering home schooling. I know I can educate my children (or at least this one-- his kindergarten sister loves school) better than their teachers. I know I would at _least_ get all of the core curricular components into their day! 
(His sister reads at a second grade level. With _three_ kindergartners in the class, you'd almost think her teacher could give her a little beyond the kindergarten beginning letter books...  )


What thought processes have some of you gone through? 

(BTW, our school says the pledge, the class sizes are tiny, the staff knows not only each child and their parents, but their siblings, grandparents and cousins in many cases, too! lol 
It's very similar to Laura's school on _Little House on the Prairie_, but with computers. So we don't even have the whole godless, heathens thing to worry about...)


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## deaconjim (Oct 31, 2005)

It was one of the best decisions we've ever made.


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## FannyMay (Apr 4, 2008)

Erin,
I guess you and I are dealing with some of the same issues. I have just recently posted on this forum that my husband and I are considering home schooling our children. My son is in the 4th grade and is probably on a 2nd grade reading level. He does not know his time tables and is just having problems all around. I have been subbing at the school some so I can stay close to him. He has a tendancy to get picked on. Ond day I went in the cafeteria to get my lunch and he was sitting at the end of the table with tears just running down. He said two other boys had threatend to beat him up and he was very upset. I asked his teacher about it and she had no idea that it had happened. I then went into the office and talked to the principal. She said she had already taken care of it, but it was a long time before he started sitting with the other boys again. He still comes home crying some days because of what someone did on the bus or called him in class. He has just such a big little heart that it gets hurt very easily. He cries all the time wanting to stay home and fights with me on going to school. So we have made the decision to keep him home next year. I also have a daughter that is in the 7th grade this year, but I just have not made my mind up yet about her. She has had trouble with the other girls every year except this one and her social wings are trying to sprout out, but along with those wings the mouth is about to get overloaded. I don't know if it is hormones or the influence, but I am about to have a break down. Any way this has been very difficult for us and I feel your pain!


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## Spinner (Jul 19, 2003)

I pulled my son out at the end of the 4th grade. Our first year was hard b/c we were trying to do "public school" at home. The next year was fun, we finally learned that home school is nothing like public school. Homeschool is real learning, not just memorize and recall like public school. 

DH was dead set against homeschool, but I did it anyway. He worried about "socialization", but soon learned that homeschool has that covered. DS would go shopping with me during the school hours. People would come up and ask us why he wasn't in school. In the beginning he was shy, but soon he opened up and told them he was in school and the shopping trip was part of his education. Sometimes people would quiz him and he always had good answers for them. This was when he was 6th grade age. By the time he was in his early teens he was able to carry on interesting conversations with all ages, and especially enjoyed talking with elderly men to learn American history firsthand. 

I let him study as his interest led him. Some days he'd spend the whole day doing math problems, some days only science or "shop" class (he'd do woodworking or crafts of some type) It was all interesting and educational. 

By 7th grade DH wanted him back in public school. I agreed to try it. The school tested him for entrance. The lowest he tested in any subject was 10th grade and some college level. DH didn't argue when I only let him spend 1 semester in public school, then back to homeschool we went. 

My son is now in his mid 20's and I can see how much homeschool improved his quality of life and learning. Knowing what I know now, I'd never put a child in public school again.


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## Sonshine (Jul 27, 2007)

My situation is a little different. Neither of my children are birth children. I got my DS when he was only 8 months old and he has always been homeschooled. We got my DD when she was 14 years old and had never known anything but public school. We she came to us I let her make the decision on public vs home schooling. She opted for homeschooling. When I tested her to find out where she was, her reading comprehension was well below where it should have been. Her retention level on what she was suppose to have already learned was next to nothing. We decided to homeschool on a trial basis. After the first year she showed marked improvements in all areas.

As for socialization, both my kids were active in a very large homeschool group. We did field trips, study time, even graduation ceremonies together. Plus they were both involved in extra activities, such as tai kwon do, activities through the church, scouting, swimming lessongs, etc. 

My DD is now in the USAF, graduating 6 months early. She scored very high on her entrance exams and was top in her graduating class for AF tech school.

I know that public school has it's benefits and downfalls, same as homeschooling. In the end, I think each of us has to make the decision on what is best for our children.

Homeschooling can be daunting, even for those who are certified teachers, but in our family, it turned out to be the best choice.


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## ErinP (Aug 23, 2007)

> not just memorize and recall like public school


I think that's what frustrates me, I guess. School shouldn't be "memorize and recall" any more than homeschool should. And for the same reasons. 
Educators were learning _decades_ ago that it really isn't an effective way to teach!

I graduated from college 12 years ago. My alma mater had _long_ been turning out teachers who were hands on, thematically driven. (Ie, no drill and kill!) Of course, some did rebel and do mindless teaching anyway...

I myself went to a public school in _rural Nebraska_, no less, in the late seventies up to the early 90s that had a "modern" curriculum in that manipulatives were used. Real-life experiences. Cooperative learning. Thematically driven. etc, etc. Even in senior math and science classes in high school our teachers had us doing everything in partners or study groups to gain the benefit of cooperative learning!

An example-- In kindergarten when we learned number two. Two was written as: "Half cookie, put it on a plate, Two." (say that while you write a numerical two in the air) For snack, we got half cookies. Two of them-- on a plate. How many halves make a whole cookie? In PE we got into pairs to form number twos and did things like hops, jumps, rolls, etc. in doubles. We read stories about "two". And so on and so forth.

If a first-year teacher can figure out how to run a k-8 country school as a thematic, hands-on classroom, there's no reason all classrooms should be anything less. Not only is it more effective for the students, but it's more fun for the teacher!


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## amyquilt (Apr 26, 2008)

We pulled our daughter out after the first week of 1st grade this past August. Best thing we did! The schools here are good....we just finally made the final decision we don't want our children around other children with different values than we are teaching to ours. IMMEDIATELY we saw a difference in attitude and behavior. She began to act like a 6yo instead of a 8-10 yo. We completely enjoy the freedom of relaxed homeschooling. And now, at the end of same school year...she's reading on likely a 3-4 grade level and all other subjects I would say easily a 2-3 grade level. She still has a good friend from her public school...and when that child comes to visit...OMG do I see a difference in the level of things being taught in public school vs my daughter's homeschooling. Our ds is 4yo and autistic. We hope to be able to provide his education at home, but at this point we still are not certain.


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## Sonshine (Jul 27, 2007)

amyquilt said:


> We pulled our daughter out after the first week of 1st grade this past August. Best thing we did! The schools here are good....we just finally made the final decision we don't want our children around other children with different values than we are teaching to ours. IMMEDIATELY we saw a difference in attitude and behavior. She began to act like a 6yo instead of a 8-10 yo. We completely enjoy the freedom of relaxed homeschooling. And now, at the end of same school year...she's reading on likely a 3-4 grade level and all other subjects I would say easily a 2-3 grade level. She still has a good friend from her public school...and when that child comes to visit...OMG do I see a difference in the level of things being taught in public school vs my daughter's homeschooling. Our ds is 4yo and autistic. We hope to be able to provide his education at home, but at this point we still are not certain.


My DS is borderline autistic. His doctors actually told me the best thing for him would be homeschooling. That way he gets the one on one that is needed. As long as you stick to a routine and find materials that fit his learning style you should do great. If you would like to PM me about what I do with our DS I would be happy to share what has worked and what hasn't for us.


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## heather (May 13, 2002)

Our dd went to public kindergarten, then we decided to homeschool this past fall for 1st grade. It's been challenging, but good - we are planning to continue with homeschooling.

As far as socialization:

For the first few months, I heard a lot of "I miss my friends"
And I still hear it once in a while now, but rarely

We are involved in 2 local homeschool groups that have gym/swim programs, field trips, acheivement nights, etc....We are involved only to the point that we want to be, which is great. 

We attend a local church

We have found 4 neighborhood families who homeschool (when I say "neighborhood" I use that term loosely - one family is the next farm up the road, but the others are several miles away)

We found 1 family we knew from our public school days that we really clicked with - they are still in public school, but our children spend quite a bit of time together outside of school

Anyway, point being....I was worried a bit about positive socialization too, but it has worked out - The socialization my dd was getting in public school was not what I wanted for her....

I'm thrilled to have the opportunity to homeschool her (and I have a 5 yr old dd who will be starting "kindergarten" in the fall at home) & would encourage parents who are willing & able to give it a try.


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## Ernie (Jul 22, 2007)

My kids, who have never set foot inside a public school, are pretty well socialized. Other parents and neighbors always remark how well-behaved and obedient they are. They are disciplined and family-focused. They get along great with other children who are homeschooled, but often they do very poorly with public school children.

The socialization argument almost always comes up when people are considering homeschooling. In my experience, you put two homeschooled children together and they tend to do very well (depending upon the child, of course). You pair up a homeschooled child with a public school child and they don't usually get along. However, for unknown reasons, it's the homeschooled child who hasn't been raised in the mosh pit of drugs, gang warfare, teen pregnancies, socialist and liberal agendas, and low-level curriculum that people assume is the one who is "poorly socialized". I've never figured that one out.


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## artsyfarmer (Apr 8, 2008)

We went from a wonderful parochial school to public school, back to aprochial school and are finishing our 3rd year of homeschooling...best thing we ever did! And that statement comes from my daughter!


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## Cheryl in SD (Apr 22, 2005)

We have always homeschooled and have no reason to change. I never regretted our decision. The kids are doing very well and turning out fine.


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## Callieslamb (Feb 27, 2007)

I have HS-ed my son for 1 1/2 years now. I removed him from school because I felt like the schools were claiming ownership of him over me. I also thought that he was only getting a mediocre education. I can do at least that well at home so home he came. 

I am reading the book "A Thomas Jefferson Education". If you can get your hands on a copy, I highly recommend it - even if you don't decide to do TJ education. It is extremely insteresting just to read what the author has to say about today's public schools or conveyor belt eduation. All students in the same room learn the same thing at the same time regardless of their individual ideas and interests,talents or goals. Everyone fits in with those fitted with the same parts as themselves and move right along together. In the end they get a stamp on their forheads indicating 'they are a finished product ready to be sold to the job market.' Grade levels are set so that everyone can move along and if you try to get ahead, you are put back in place. 

Public schools' primary goal historically was to educate the poor. The aristocracy's children usually received a leadership eduation with private tutors. The middle class - a profession education. in private schools and with apprenticeships. The poor received an education to simply enable them to get a job and provide for themselves. Today, the public schools are still giving education for students to just get jobs. This is what happened in Germany and allowed Hitler to come in and 'change their schools' beyond mediocracy. And we all know what happened there. 

I have to agree that this is what I feel our public schools are doing - conveyor belt education. What we are lacking is leadership eduation - morals, culture, loyalty, courage, thought, experience, etc.

As for socialization- I have said it over and over - sending a child to public school to learn socialization is like sending a dog to the pound to learn obedience. Kids that come from families that are backwards and/or 'strange' usually end up that way - no matter where they attended school. Kids that come from families that socialize well will usually end up with good socializing skills. If you think of it in one way, public schools actually limit a child's socializing development by only allowing them to be with one age group. They don't get the chance to interact with those older or smaller than they are. 

You will need to find time for you son to play with other kids his age or of his interest from time to time. But with a sibling at home - he has a play group! don't sweat the socializing parts.


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## Raven's Haven (Apr 16, 2007)

I have this same issue. I have a 10 year old daughter that is in PS and we just can't seem to get along with one another at all. She has been taught great manners and respect but PS seems to wipe that out of them. I have talked about homeschooling but I don't know how to go about doing it. Kind of anxious and have my doubts if I can do it. I also have a 3 year old son that I try to read books too but he won't sit still long enough or he grabs the book and says "No". Sometimes I get so frustrated.

Autumn


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## Callieslamb (Feb 27, 2007)

Raven's Haven said:


> I have this same issue. I have a 10 year old daughter that is in PS and we just can't seem to get along with one another at all. She has been taught great manners and respect but PS seems to wipe that out of them. I have talked about homeschooling but I don't know how to go about doing it. Kind of anxious and have my doubts if I can do it. I also have a 3 year old son that I try to read books too but he won't sit still long enough or he grabs the book and says "No". Sometimes I get so frustrated.
> 
> Autumn


Autumn,
Don't dispair. Little boys aren't built to sit and be read to. I have one just like him! And mine is in 3rd grade now. However, we are getting there! He is learing to sit and listen. One hurtle we have - he hates stories. He wants to learn something from the book! I have hopes for this summer too.

As for DD - don't doubt yourself. You can do a lot FOR your DD that no one else in this entire world can. You are the mother! Take a year and try it! Plan in lots of fun things that are hands on- cooking, sewing, crafts! Even if you don't do as much book work! It will be okay. She might find that having school only 3 hours a day is quite the advantage! Kids do take on the attitudes of those around them and what your daughter is going through sounds like a good reason to pull her out of school. Ten year olds have a tough life in the public system- those around them are demanding that they start growing up - having boyfriends, even dating, wearing the right things, having the right things (what is was like for my age-group when we were 15). If your DD isn't ready for that (and what 10 yr old is?) you can see the pressure she can be under trying to fit into two worlds. 

Look for a homeschool group around you where she can find friends. Our co-op got the loval YMCA to offer swimming and gym classes during the afternoon a couple days a week for the homeschool kids. We have since added, art, Spanish and sewing to that list. Next year, we are also offering choir. There are also 4H groups - we even have one for homeschool kids and it also meets during the day. Some co-ops offer martial arts and auto-repair classes too. Colleges offer music lessons for kids too. Look around - ask, find. There is something out there that your DD would love to do and do it with you!


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## hoggie (Feb 11, 2007)

Erin - I am in the middle of this right now as well - preparing mentally to pull DD at the end of this school year. For no other reason than that she just isn't really all that happy. She can't explain why, she just doesn't want to go to school in the mornings. Her teachers have been OK so far, and they really do try to cater for her needs, but something just isn't right. I truly believe that school just isn't the "right" environment for every child.

I have a LOT of doubts. Far more than I had before she started school (she went to school because she chose to try it out). But I also know that she is a little learning machine - I think most kids are "programmed" to learn if we let them. And school tends to stamp that out a lot by pushing in information on a spoon.

Go for it - try it out - have fun, and I bet a lot of your problems and doubts will resolve themselves.

I have always had a problem understanding why it is considered "socialization" to put a child into a room full of kids who aren't yet "socialized" and expect them all to muddle through. Social skills are about learning to deal with all kinds of people.

hoggie


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## DQ (Aug 4, 2006)

I was pulled out of ps in the 7th grade. It was for many reasons; academic, social and safety. I was very self driven but by that point (although I enjoyed many subjects) I was mostly driven to _just get done_ with school. I did get "done" (highschool) by the time I was 17 but I was so burned on the idea of school I didn't even consider college. I can still remember during an assembly in gradeschool there was talk of college by a speaker. I distinctly remember turning to the girl next to me and saying "I am never going to college, why would you go to school if you don't have to?" looking back I think how sad it is that in the 3rd or 4th grade I already couldn't wait to get out of there. I don't think I was pulled out early enough. The ps had already done its damage. I was completely soured on formal learning and totally socially defeated. Although little effort was put into my homeschooling by my parents, I am convinced that if I had stayed in ps I would be a miserable wreck and it at least offered me a chance by giving me choices. My daughter is now 3 and I am beginnning to seriously contemplate her formal schooling. Public school is not on the table.


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## FannyMay (Apr 4, 2008)

Let me get some of yalls opinion. We are currently going to pull our son out he is in the 4th grade and I have previously wrote about him, but I am having a hard time deciding about my daughter. She is in the 7th grade this year and for her 4th,5th,&6th, grade years she was miserable. She could not get along with the other girls and I was having to go and talk to her teacher all the time. She was not getting into trouble,but she was always coming home upset about this girl said that or this girl done that. She has reflux really bad and she was getting sick frequently because of it. This year she has not had as much trouble at school, but she is still getting sick and her attitude at home is getting worse and worse. Her teachers say she is quiet as a mouse at school and just a delight to have in class. So, I can not figure out why she has such an attitude at home. I am wondering if she is not being influenced at school by some of the other students or is she just upset about things at school and taking them out on us. She does not want to be homeschooled, but I am thinking it might be for her on good. Her grades are average and that is with her not even trying. I think, no I know if she would just apply herself more she could have all A's. If any of you have any suggestions it would be greatly appreciated.


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## Callieslamb (Feb 27, 2007)

FannyMay said:


> Let me get some of yalls opinion. We are currently going to pull our son out he is in the 4th grade and I have previously wrote about him, but I am having a hard time deciding about my daughter. She is in the 7th grade this year and for her 4th,5th,&6th, grade years she was miserable........ QUOTE]
> 
> Pull her out and see if many of the problems don't go away. Begin by asking her what she would like to learn about and go with it. Even if she gets a bit "behind" the prescribed course of study - let her choose. If she has friends outside of her school class that she gets along well with- build her social life around them. As adults, if we found those that are difficult to get along with- we have skills to either avoid or adjust. I think children need good relationships first - to learn how to 'avoid or adjust' to those more difficult relationships. Instead, our children can be dumped into what I think are abusive relationships with no way out some classrooms.
> 
> ...


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## FannyMay (Apr 4, 2008)

Thanks Callieslamb,
I will keep that in mind. She is home today, woke up sick at her stomach again and she and I have been talking over somethings this morning. Pray for God's will to be done. And for me to have the strength and courage to do it! Change can be a little scary.
Thanks


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## hoggie (Feb 11, 2007)

I have no real advice FannyMay, as I am only just about to pull DD myself. But I can feel for you - it is hard enough for me to make the decision with DD totally on board and wanting to come home. It must be much harder to do it when the child is not on board.

I agree with Callieslamb - kids at school (over here at any rate) are sort of indoctrinated into "school is the way" and so view kids who homeschool as "different" - shock horror LOL

I would guess that once your DD is home and being given a chance to enjoy her education, she will decide she likes the idea better.

Don't they say that it takes a whole year to de-school a child? Or hav eI dreamt that somewhere?

Anyway - good luck 

hoggie


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## heather (May 13, 2002)

FannyMay said:


> Let me get some of yalls opinion.


Well, I'm certainly no expert, so you can take my opinion with a grain of salt 

I remember being in 7th grade - ugh - what a rough time for me AND my parents! It's just a difficult time, no matter how you slice it -

Anyway, I don't know how you currently talk to her about homeschooling - you say she doesn't want to do it -
How about an approach of 
"I'd love to spend more time with you"
"I'd love to get to the bottom of why you're not feeling well & get you feeling better"
"I want you to love learning so why don't we delve into something you're interested in"
"Let's go on some cool field trips"
etc.
Put the most positive spin on it possible!

If it were my dd & I had the time & energy to devote to bringing her home, I would do it. The way you describe things now, it can't hurt


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## FannyMay (Apr 4, 2008)

Okay everyone Today was the straw that broke the camels back! Even Dh is on board after today. DD went to school on Monday and everything was fine. Tuesday morning she was sick to her stomach so I let her stay home. That afternoon she was running a fever, yesterday morning she was running a fever. This morning she was running a fever I thought!!!! I finally caught her running warm water on the thermometer and confronted her and she just broke down in tears, just a puddle in the middle of the floor and had a breakdown. The girls at school have just been being terrible to her and she can not take anymore of it. So as of today our decision has been made and she is now okay with it. Everyone will be home next year and that is final. I finally have some peace about it. I am scared to death, but I have peace with our decision. Even Dh is on board now. There is nothing like your daughter in the middle of the kitchen floor having a break down to finally wake you up. I am just so sorry it took me this long to do it.


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