# Legit question about "the south"



## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

I'm lookin' to move south.
Some where between Savannah and Charleston.
Something small, a couple three acres, small town, etc.

Here are the things, I have been told, by folks who were born and raised in the south. Some are young (24) some are older (40's).

I want to know, is it true?

1. People from the north (yankees) are never accepted. I will always be an outsider in the community and never truly be part.

2. Black folks in the south really don't like white folks, and really really don't like white yankees. And they are not afraid to let 'white yankees' know they are NOT welcome.

3. There is far more racial tension in the south than there is in the north, and black folks are very hostile towards white folks.


Let me explain something......
I don't see color. I just don't.
I see human beings, Created in the Image of God.......
I don't hate anyone.....
I hate 'actions' but not humans.

I just want to move south.
Warmer weather.
Small home, little property, grow my garden, get some chickens, can my harvest.
Work a job, shop in town, find a local church, be a part of something....anything good.
I just want to live under the radar, simple, quite.

Is that possible for a single white girl in her 40's, in the south?

I don't want to move some where that I am not welcome, for any reason.
I don't want to live somewhere, where I will always be an outcast....


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## Darren (May 10, 2002)

I've seen variations of what you're considering both here and in Mississippi. A big part of getting accepted is accepting. Under the radar is good. I've know or know of numerous families that have moved here and became involved in volunteer work due to issues. Most gave up after a period and pulled their horns in so to speak. 

Racism is alive, just not expressed openly except among "friends." I got a preview of that when I walked into a repair shop in Mississippi looking for parts. A Black came in almost immediately afterwards and also asked a question. The owner was curt and dismissive. He could have helped the man. He deliberately chose not to. The words out of the owner's mouth after the man had left were shocking. I had never seen racism up close. I'm white so I was OK.

You may be judged somewhat by the church you attend. I was amazed at the quibbling within congregations which lead to a group going off and starting their own church in Mississippi. You may need to compartmentalize your life. 

I've never had a problem getting along in the South. Keeping your mouth shut and not passing on gossip is necessary to avoid alienating people in small communities. You may hear things that you know for a fact are not true about some event of which you have first hand knowledge. Be careful about trying to correct someone's opinion. You may be trying to correct the opinion of an extended family. Expect everyone to be related in some manner to everyone else of the same race. Seriously! Go along to get along is a fact of life. In a rural area you have less choices. Most of it's common sense. Any time you express a contrary view about something held near and dear to the listener you may suffer repercussions and never know it.

You'll always be considered "not from around here." Accept it, don't obsess about it and focus on your own life.

You'll find that like anywhere else there will be cliques. Local jobs except for possibly minimum wage ones, are often reserved for family. 

In West Virginia in most counties you'll need to register as a Democrat to have any kind of shot at a government job. Believe it or not, if they want to, they can find out who you voted for here.

I always tell people looking at an area to subscribe to the local newspaper long before moving there. It's not perfect. It does provide some insight. 

Life isn't as simple as portrayed in Doc Holiday. There's still a special place out there for you. Research, research, research. Rural areas can be the best and the worse. Boat rockers are seldom welcome.


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## azuresky (Feb 26, 2012)

Laura,
First, sorry this turned out to be so long. I was born and raised in the South. I've lived in La., TX., TN., NC and now in SC. In general, in every state I have lived, the smaller places tend to be smaller minded. The larger cities are more diverse. I have lived in SC for 17 years now, and I have found it to be a friendly place. Yes, we have our share of small-minded, prejudiced people, but I have found that everywhere. I have friends and family that are black (my grandson is biracial) and I have found the black and white culture here to work and socialize well together. In fact, I have seen less tension here than any other place I have lived. I was told by one of the local black leaders that the state has better race relations that most because we have many black people in leadership and it has helped create an atmosphere of cooperation. Also, many people that live here are from the north. (One of my best friends is from Maine.) If you are friendly and accepting, people will reciprocate. (Again, there are always acceptions). The bigger cities and the coastal area can be more expensive to live than the more rural areas-and there is a LOT of rural in SC. SC is not a state with a great deal of money. The roads are OK (not great), the public education is OK, the colleges are expensive. If you have kids, GA might be a better choice for educational reasons.


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## Guest (Dec 22, 2013)

If you're a "people" you can get along with other people...if you want to. However, nothing can stop you from not getting along, if that's what you want. 
On the other hand, mosquitoes are the size of buzzards down here. snakes, stinkbugs, all that stuff abounds. And you might think you'd like it warmer, but 10 or 15 days in a row of 100+ degrees along with 95%+ humid will wilt most transplants.
In the area you specify, you'll find the water taste horrendous and salty. Also, alligators roam the land, in the coastal regions.


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## SimplerTimez (Jan 20, 2008)

Let me preface this with some generalizations and background:

My familial roots:
Me- Florida native, lived in GA, VA, TN
Current extended familial spread - FL, AL, SC
Parental - GA and SC
Grands - GA, VA, SC

My extended family as a rule are some of the most racist people I have ever personally known. They frighten me and they are my kin. But they also speak freely due to being family - others may harbor the same sentiments but I am simply not privy to that information.

Somehow these sentiments did not register in my personality, or because of the negative feelings they generated, I responded differently. I raised my children to value people, not race or religious connections. As such, my children have partners and friendships of just about every ethnicity, religious persuasion and even orientations.

There are overarching generalizations about people and places, both good and bad, and they usually contain some kernels of truth.

Darren speaks a lot of truth from my personal experiences.



Laura Zone 5 said:


> 1. People from the north (yankees) are never accepted. I will always be an outsider in the community and never truly be part.
> 
> Depends on the person and length of time of residency, combined with behavior. Anyone from anywhere 'else' (North, West, Canada) that endlessly drones on about how it is done back where they came from is not liked. People who want to make where they are now a replica of where they wanted to get away from, are generally disliked. YOU moved here, figure out how to fit in.
> 
> ...



The most difficult part is finding a job in a small town where you are a newcomer. Darren is correct about the good jobs go to the people who have been there. When I lost my job, I couldn't find a thing, even minimum wage jobs. The nearest 'big' town was over an hour away. The economy is tough in the Southern states, particularly in small towns. If you were going to where I used to live, looking for server work, you'd be hard pressed to find a job. There weren't that many places to work in that arena to begin with. Of all the things you are concerned about, I would think this is the one area that will be the most difficult.

Best wishes, that is a lovely area that you are choosing, rich with culture, beauty and warm people. All things take time, and most of what will happen will depend on you and your attitude and behavior. 

~ST


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## MoonRiver (Sep 2, 2007)

I would say


False
False
False
The trick is to leave your old ways behind and adopt to being a Southerner. The problem is people who move to the South and then get upset because it is different than the culture they used to live in. Parts of the South are like moving to a foreign country and the area you are thinking of moving to is one of them. The 1st time I heard someone from S Carolina talk, I thought he was speaking a foreign language. Same thing in Louisiana. The difference was in Louisiana they were speaking a different language - Cajun French.

Take a state like N Carolina where a lot of northerners moved to the state for jobs and tried to turn the state into the liberal culture they were moving from. It lasted for about 10 years and then there was a huge backlash as the state went from purple to bright red.

Accept there will be culture shock for a while. Just smile, be friendly, and talk a little slower than you do now and you will be fine. The trick in the South is to work hard without appearing to do so and have fun while you're doing it.


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## Ramblin Wreck (Jun 10, 2005)

What MoonRiver said.


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## Shrek (May 1, 2002)

There are three classifications of Yankees

Yankee- They come for their vacation spend their money then go home till next years

Dang Yankee _ They start out as a Yankee, then move south, take a local job and although out numbered are a bit socially pushy and often say something stupid as "you speak funny" to native southerners. Dang Yankees usually reach naturalization status comfortably in three to 10 years.

 Dang Yankees - They move here , take local jobs, often marry our sister or daughters and try to petition local town councils to incorporate Yankee style statutes and taxation structures. They never make naturalization status and often move around frequently


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## Terri (May 10, 2002)

The Blacks in a racial conscious area are likely to assume that any white person is a racist unless the White person lets them know otherwise. 

And, when I moved to the Midwest I did not know how to do that, as I was raised in a diverse area. So it was awkward at times.

And, many Blacks are prejudiced against Whites. It seems to be a human thing!


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## AngieM2 (May 10, 2002)

Hi Laura,

I've had to think on this a bit. What you've been told actually is accurate of anywhere you move anywhere depending on you.

I've lived down here a good portion of my life. And in my area there is a high percentage of non-Southerners due to the Space program and the defense contractors.

But, I have noticed when I lived in North (Munising MI) and West (Denver area) or FL (St Pete) that I'd have comments to me about my accent, but mostly all thought that all of AL was stuck back in the days of Selma issues, and early George Wallace. Rather difficult to educate them that was many years in the past. 

But, I'd explain and be happy to be where ever I was. 

The biggest thing is to be you, but don't every tell someone how to run their city, school, or whatever as how it was done in the North is a sure fire way to get everyone's hackles up. 

Once you settle in, you may offer to help someone but not take over. 

And be aware the pace of things down here is slower, partially due to a hang over from the working outside in the heat. And you'll find why I'm always loving front porches, they were the social area of small communities in the evenings after the work was done. Larger areas that's going away, but in small communities, it can still be found somewhat.

The blacks, they are people. There is an element of resentment in pockets and then there are just people that have a different skin color. You will be able to tell the difference. Most of the time.

Then there are ********, they do exist. And ******* is not a derogatory comment, usually it was from someone outside working a lot and got a red (sunburned) neck.

One thing, most places do not forget the "War of Northern Aggression", or more commonly called the Civil War. And you may be asked which side your family was on. 

But the biggest is don't put them or their ways down. Observe and fit in and be nice (even if it kills you). And trust carefully, everyone will be nice, but not all mean it. 

Sorta like that comment you see here in HT by some: "Well bless your heart". That statement is either a real blessing or a snide comment.

I guess the South is just like everywhere else. A bit of all kinds.


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## Bellyman (Jul 6, 2013)

The demographics of an area can vary a LOT depending upon a number of factors. I was born a "Yankee". Grew up in Amish country of Pennsylvania. Married a woman from south Alabama 13 years ago and moved to south Louisiana, near New Orleans where she was living / working.

Yes, different cultures, but not nearly as big of an issue as one might think. The area around New Orleans had so many people from so many places that it was quite a melting pot and even a Yankee like me had no trouble fitting in there. 

I found that most anywhere along the MS/AL/LA coast was pretty much the same thing, at least for me.

Then a few years ago, we decided to move a couple hundred miles north, deep into the heart of central Mississippi. WAY different culture. Totally "good ol' boy" and I was NOT welcome. I tried to be nice and friendly and it wasn't enough. Funny thing was, at the local farmers market, there was usually one black guy and two old white guys lined up in a row with their stuff for sale. We got along splendidly with the black guy. Bought a good bit of stuff from him. I didn't care one bit what color he was, he was a nice guy and he treated me well. The old white guys were "good ol' boys" to the core and would barely look at me. Whatever. (The black guy had way better stuff anyhow!) We didn't stay in central MS more than a couple of years and that was too long for me. Had bought a piece of land there thinking we might settle there and the time it took to sell that was why we stayed as long as we did. 

If you happen to find a smaller area where there is more of a melting pot happening than maybe just one or two families, it can be a lot easier to settle in. And there are some places like that around. It just takes some looking to find them. Black, white, Mexican, northern, southern, eastern, western, I don't really much care. As a for instance, we walked into a church in central Tennessee a while back and were greeted by a wonderful Vermont accent! Found out about 1/2 the church was people from all over. It's a wonderful melting pot and we fit right in!

Good luck finding your place. Don't know if you are a "church" type of person but something like that can be helpful as you tend to be able to get to know a fair number of people rather quickly. And often, they can help you make connections you couldn't make on your own, at least not right away. 

There are good country folk in various shapes, colors and sizes all over. Just gotta find 'em.


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## foxfiredidit (Apr 15, 2003)

Y'all listen to some good music while discussing The South. (Don't forget to listen)
...or read, as time and inclination allow. 

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OCOPkIDjYA[/ame]

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7nx0EhWzrM[/ame]

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5A8qAUAbqIo[/ame]


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

Politics: I hate 'em. Not trying to get involved in anything that looks anything like politics....

Schools: Don't have kids of age, and I'd home school if I did. I have no dog in that fight.

Employment: Lookin' for a bartending / serving job. 
If I was closer to Savannah, I'd be willing to drive 45 min to get to a 'touristy' type place, where the money is good. 
Ditto if I went the SC way, 45 min from Myrtle Beach. 
Heck, I may just open up a little local joint myself....if the money's there.

Social graces: People ask me ALL the time "where are you from" because they 'say' I talk like I am from GA.....I personally find different accents interesting and very enjoyable to listen too. MA / NY / Chicago...they are all distinct and very interesting. 
I love meeting new people from all over!!

Civil War: It happened, it sucked, and I have no idea who's side my family was on. 
Honestly, I think 'my family' was imported after the Civil War.....
I know my dad's side came from Germany......
But my mom's family is predominately from KY....
My knowledge of the Civil War is minimal.....very, minimal. Is this something that I honestly need to KNOW before I go?? 
Didn't it happen a few hundred years ago?

I'm tired of the rat race...hurry up hurry up.
I am ready to gear down, slow down, settle in.
I am ready for the sun, the warmth of the sun...no more bitter cold, ice snow like we have here in IN.
The thought of 'the old me melting away, and being remolded into something new' is more than appealing....it's alluring and addictive.

Lord, Sweet Jesus, I just want to 'be'.....I just want to be.
I just wana have a little spot, love life, love people, and just......be.


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## swamp man (Dec 25, 2005)

Laura Zone 5 said:


> I'm lookin' to move south.
> Some where between Savannah and Charleston.
> Something small, a couple three acres, small town, etc.
> 
> ...


There are no across-the-board rules for my beloved, Dirty South. Savannah, in particular, plays by it's own rules, kinda' like New Orleans, and is a weird (and wonderful) town in general. 
The coastal towns will keep you a bit cooler in summer and a bit warmer in winter.
As for being accepted....well....be acceptable. You'll do fine.  Expect the fella's to hold the door open for ya', but don't read into it; we do that for each other too, as it's just the polite way to be. I ran into more of the "you ain't from around here" attitude in Colorado than I did in the South.
"Sir", "Ma'am", "please", and "thank you" go a long way down there, and it ain't necessarily age-related. I answer my roomate's eight-year-old with "yessir" or "no sir", he has begun to reciprocate and understand that it's an exchange of respect and politeness, not of subserviency. 
For the most part, Southern blacks are a problem, but so are the white Baptists and Pentocostals, just different kinds of problems. Yep, most of them will resent your existence. 
Don't sweat the snakes and gators. I never let either run me off from a good swimming hole, and a sighting is a neat gift from Ma Nature. Generally, they swim away before you see them. If it's a big bull-gator, get out of the water, though.
As for the economy, it's just as sporadic as any other part of the country. The fast-growing towns and college towns tend to have more "new money", though.


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## foxfiredidit (Apr 15, 2003)

> Is that possible for a single white girl in her 40's, in the south?


 More probable than just possible.


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

Swamp.....

I raised my kids on "yes ma'am and yes sir"....No option. Period.
They were NEVER allowed to call an adult by their first names, always Mr. and Mrs.
Please and thank you was NEVER an option. It was expected.
No please or thank you? No soup for you.
As soon as my son was big enough for his weight to hold the door open (3-4) he did so. 
I cannot tell you how many times that boy stood holding that door for SCORES of people, including larger, older men, who not only did not take his place, they didn't say thank you.....J.A.'s. 
I told him, you stay there until another man takes the door, or everyone is in and don't worry about no one else doing the right thing.

Not a swimmer....so I don't have to worry about being 'lunch'. HA HA

Everyone here has been SO helpful. Thank you so much, and PLEASE keep it coming.

I will be making trips to the south, when I have the funds, to check places out...before I pack it in and hit it.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

Instead of saying southern whites and southern blacks, why not just say southern people. They are pretty much the same and most are just dandy fine people. Some of all races are jerks, but they are the exception. I have learned the pretty much everyone anywhere will treat you like you treat them, or maybe you just get what you expect from them. If you find that people are not treating you as you wish, I would suggest that you examine you own actions. In the SC low country you will definitely find a few different cultures. I like the cultures, and have never in my many years of mixing with blacks here felt out of place or that I was treated in any way that made me uncomfortable, never. There is racism here, but it is mostly between the jerks.


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## Raymond James (Apr 15, 2013)

My advice is to try and find a collage town with a state University to move near. Often they can be found in rural areas . That way you get the rural area you want and some of the diversity you might like. Cultural things like plays, concerts, guest speakers, art shows. 

I think many of the comments apply to rural areas not only in the south but the Midwest. 


Here in Johnson County Missouri my advice to Californians moving to the county is to stop talking about how much less expensive/ cheaper it is here, no one needs to know what you sold the old place in California for and no one wants to hear how you did things back in California. 

Sorta the advice you got for moving down south. 

Get the local paper for several towns that you are interested in. Research and try and visit them try and take a year to decide . Then pick one and have fun .


There will be some who are never your friend but many others that will accept you. 


.


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## tambo (Mar 28, 2003)

Laura as long as you know how to make sweet tea you will be good. And start practicing saying y'all. You will fit right in. Come on down to TN. I would be glad to meet you.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

Oh, and don't discuss or give opinions on BBQ, especially if you live near a state border.  BBQ was invented in SC and we've been perfecting it these hundreds of years. Try telling that to a GA cracker or a Tar Heel. Here we have BBQ hash, cross the border and they've never even heard of such a thing. Your best bet is to avoid any conversations on the subject. If someone tries to start such a conversation, the smart move would be to steer it towards religion and politics.


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## dkhern (Nov 30, 2012)

lz5 dont want to go too off topic but living in texas when american airlines and jc penneys relocated from ny i saw many i heart ny bumper stickers then i started seeing bumperstickers saying heart ny take I30 east or frankly my dear i dont care how you did it up north.

realistically there are many things to learn from the locals. politics whether you are involved or not. growing conditions plant varities fainfall soil etc

ive seen people move here. some blend in and become productive some stayed a few yers and were not happy and left.

tourist areas should be good for serving/bartending. a melting pot so to speak without standing out. collage towns often have limits on employment because spouces are often willing to work for less and its a employeers market

as far as race issues in my experience the larger the town/city the greater the potential for mititantancy (black and white) small towns can be cilquesh often a great deal of inlaws, outlaws, and various and sundry kinfolks.

go in using sensitivity and common sense dont try to change the world and i dont see a deal breaker in your future. best of luck


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

vicker said:


> Oh, and don't discuss or give opinions on BBQ, especially if you live near a state border.  BBQ was invented in SC and we've been perfecting it these hundreds of years. Try telling that to a GA cracker or a Tar Heel. Here we have BBQ hash, cross the border and they've never even heard of such a thing. Your best bet is to avoid any conversations on the subject. If someone tries to start such a conversation, the smart move would be to steer it towards religion and politics.


So... Who do you like in 2016?


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

sustainabilly said:


> So... Who do you like in 2016?


Well, certainly not Maurice Bessinger.


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

I can hear it now, Pig Pickins in every pot!


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## Shygal (May 26, 2003)

Is Florida considered part of "the south"? I have heard conflicting opinions on that.

And CB thats a pretty nasty post.


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## Dutchie (Mar 14, 2003)

I think FL is considered the South. But I can't be sure.


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## Dutchie (Mar 14, 2003)

Here is what Wiki has to say about it

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deep_South


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## swamp man (Dec 25, 2005)

Laura Zone 5 said:


> Swamp.....
> 
> I raised my kids on "yes ma'am and yes sir"....No option. Period.
> They were NEVER allowed to call an adult by their first names, always Mr. and Mrs.
> ...


 That's good policy. My grandma used to say "We can't all be rich, and none of us can be perfect, but we can ALL be polite." She was a wonderful person and a true Southern lady.
Didn't you mention looking into Knoxville, TN recently? Knoxville is a great town. Much of my mom's family is from Knoxville, and I did some of my growing up there. East on I-40 still has some affordable areas, but with good access to the city. My daughter and baby-momma' moved there recently for a job opportunity, and the cost of living is pretty reasonable considering that there's decent employment there. She's a cool lady and has become familiar with the area; real estate, jobs, etc. In fact, she knows a bit about the bar scene 'cuz she plays in a coupla' bands and they play lots of gigs at some of the local watering holes. I can put you in touch with her if you like. She's friendly and approachable and might could give ya' low-down on Knoxville.


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## swamp man (Dec 25, 2005)

Shygal said:


> Is Florida considered part of "the south"? I have heard conflicting opinions on that.
> 
> And CB thats a pretty nasty post.


 Parts of rural north Florida are "Southern". The rest of the state is a culturally diluted melting pot.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

My best friend here is from a more upper class family. They have many acres of old family land here, near the coast, in the mountains and outside of New Orleans. We are both big fellows, both grew up under very similar circumstances, if you don't count the social class. He is actually afraid to get out of his car in non white areas. He is a victim of his own racist views. The first thing you notice when you come here from somewhere else is, we have a lot of black neighbors, and they often have their own culture. We also have a good many Hispanics now as well. I for one really enjoy the diversity , but it makes some uncomfortable. People are just people and most (people) are warm, welcoming and friendly. My family moved here in 1967, mom from OK and dad from WV. My parents had a large learning curve , but both were known and respected by most of my neighbors. We don't judge people by the color of their skin, their religion, or any thing else other than their own character. I think that that type of thing is readily noticeable to other people you meet. I have always been friends with folk of all walks and welcomed in their homes. I don't know what else to say on the subject. I'm a nice guy and have never had anything but good experiences. If some of y'all's experiences have been less than pleasing ...well.


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

Spent a week (twice) in Knoxville for the Honda Hoot......I fell in love with the area.
People were so amazing...and maybe because I was part of a HUGE group of 'tourist' spending a pant load of money? But I really got the feel it was genuine...

I need to check the weather down there.....
I am really wanting to get the hades away from winter.....


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

This is sorta what I'm trying to tell you. 
There is a story they tell of two dogs. Both dogs, at separate times, walk into the same room. One dog comes out wagging his tail while the other comes out growling. 

A woman watching this goes into the room to see what could possibly ma...ke one dog so happy and the other dog so mad. To her surprise she finds a room full of mirrors. The happy dog found a thousand happy dogs looking back at him. The angry dog saw only angry growling dogs looking back at him. Meaning: What you see in the world around you is a reflection of who you are.


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

http://www.weather.com/weather/monthly/USGA0506?month=1

Now that's what I'm talkin' about......


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

Dec. 21, 55*F @ 9:51 PM, 40-50 miles W NW of Knoxville. Not much winter this year. Sigh...


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## Shygal (May 26, 2003)

City Bound said:


> Ill tempered, quick tempered, out of control, lack of self control, unscrupulous, criminally inclined, uncivilized, racist, needlessly aggressive, hostile, quarrelsome, nasty, rogue. recklessly promiscuous.
> 
> If these opinions and observations offend you please do not bother to confront me on it because I did not make my statement to spark a debate, I made it because those are my subjective experiences and points of view and I really do not care if others disagree with them.



Wow..............
I don't think you are doing yourself any favors here at all. Uncivilized? Seriously?? criminally inclined, unscrupulous.........
and you call THEM racist?

And just like others, I will certainly confront you whether you like it or not. This post is worse than the other, and your IGNORANCE is worse than anything you listed there.

It sounds like you are describing animals instead of people, and I don't remember you ever being like this.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

don't waste you breath confronting me, I really do not care about seeing things your way. You have your opinions and I have mine. What are you the thought police? This is America, we can think how we like.


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## AngieM2 (May 10, 2002)

City Bound said:


> Why don't you just go visit and see if you like the place. I could not live down there. It is very hot, sticky, and bright and if you don't like that you will be unhappy. I felt like I was walking in an oven.
> 
> The blacks down south were worse then the blacks up here, except for the blacks that bused up here from the south to get welfare and housing who are basically southern blacks just living in the north. The worst blacks I encountered were in New Orleans.


Laura - 

This is not the outlook to have when moving South if you want to be reasonably accepted and worked with.


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

There are good black people. There are bad black people.
There are good white people. There are bad white people.
There are black criminals. There are white criminals.
There are lazy black people. There are lazy white people.
There are racist black people. There are racist white people.

Life is what you make it. If you look for good, you will find it. If you look for bad, it will be at your every turn.


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## Dutchie (Mar 14, 2003)

Shygal said:


> Wow..............
> I don't think you are doing yourself any favors here at all. Uncivilized? Seriously?? criminally inclined, unscrupulous.........
> and you call THEM racist?
> 
> ...


Yeah. And to think he is still single. Shocking.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

Sounds like Virginia to me.


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

Dutchie said:


> Yeah. And to think he is still single. Shocking.


Well, at least we know that black women are safe from his advances!!! :smack


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

AngieM2 said:


> Laura -
> 
> This is not the outlook to have when moving South if you want to be reasonably accepted and worked with.



Trust me, I just want to 'just be'.
And I'd like to 'be' where it's warm!

I have been a bartender / server for 30 years.....I love me some people.
All kinds.
I just don't want to move somewhere where everyone but me, knows I will not be welcomed, or accepted!!
My goal is not to move somewhere new and start kicking hornets nests upon arrival!!


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Dutchie said:


> Yeah. And to think he is still single. Shocking.


i'm not single.


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

LZ5, In truth, our current weather is unseasonable. We're usually cooler here on the plateau than K-town and surroundings environs. Then, when you get closer to the Smokies, the weather can get more unpredictable/changeable. It was 15-20* during Oct/Nov. Jan/Feb it'll drop down again. Maybe 1 or 2 snows of any consequence per year. The thing is, it never lasts long. For sure, Savannah to Charleston area would be even more temperate. I'd say you need to look at the big picture weather-wise. This is the bible belt. That should tell you a lot about religion. The rest will surely fill in with more research. Good Luck!


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## grandma12703 (Jan 13, 2011)

If you move to the south ... leave the north where you left it. In other words accept their ways and try to become a part of them without inputting the way you "used to do it or we did it." If you want to leave where your leaving then don't bring it with you.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Laura Zone 5 said:


> Trust me, I just want to 'just be'.
> And I'd like to 'be' where it's warm!


Have you thought of living outside the US?


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

City Bound, are you sure you aren't confusing Virginia with DC? Sound like you may have been near the capital building.


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

No.
I am an American, a United States citizen, and I love my country.
I am not interested in leaving the country.


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

Is one state more 'accepting' of 'strangers' moving in than another?

Should I just throw caution to the wind, pull up stakes, move, and make the best of it and stop over thinking it? Or is it a better way; to be prepared for the culture shift?


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## Twp.Tom (Dec 29, 2010)

Just a suggestion Laura*, have you thought about the Caribbean? The climate is near perfect, if you like 80 and breezy? Lot's of job's in the Business you're in. I went to craigslist realty sites down there. I could definitely picture myself living on the Beach. You just have to watch the weather. I really enjoy hot weather also, it's the humidity that gets me. Maybe think the Southwest? I don't know, just trying to be helpful*.


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## frogmammy (Dec 8, 2004)

dkhern said:


> .. collage towns often have limits on employment because spouces are often willing to work for less and its a employeers market....


EXCELLENT observation!

Mon


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## foxfiredidit (Apr 15, 2003)

I wouldn't think any particular state is more or less accepting than any other. I think it is smaller than that, more on the community level. The economy in small communities drives a lot of poor attitudes, especially those away from the coast. Coastal communities expand and contract in population with the seasons. Some stay prosperous year round, especially an area where there is desirable real estate, or military bases, but to some extent no matter the season, there are always new faces in and out.

You said you were interested in South Carolina. I like South Carolina's coastal regions, because of the salt marshes and the fishing aspects that go along with that. I like to throw a cast net, and that's ideal for me. I've made friends over the years there, and the fishing is excellent. Plus, there are so many good restaurants with low country flavor and I really like the food. Lots of good music and places to enjoy it as well. For the golfers, it is somewhat of a mecca. So the money is there for someone looking for work, and the atmosphere is wholesome as any I've found. 

Other than that, I like the Northwest Florida panhandle communities of Pensacola, Fort Walton, Navarre, Destin, Apalachicola, areas. I was raised somewhat herein, with only a short drive in and out. It was better in the past than it is today, but development expands the economy and makes for better employment. Being heavy in naval bases and flight schools doesn't hurt, home of the Blue Angels and all that. 

I think you are on the right track, and wish you the best of luck. It is easy to overthink things, but then you have a lot at stake, so err on the side of caution if you must err at all.


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## frogmammy (Dec 8, 2004)

Laura Zone 5 said:


> Is one state more 'accepting' of 'strangers' moving in than another?
> 
> Should I just throw caution to the wind, pull up stakes, move, and make the best of it and stop over thinking it? Or is it a better way; to be prepared for the culture shift?


If you take a rough estimate of there being three million residents in each state you consider, then deduct the number of people who are too young to form an opinion, then deduct the number of older residents whose opinion doesn't matter, divide by the number of people who are still fighting the Civil War, then add the number of tourists squared passing through and walking near you, and double that, exponentially, I can say that .....
Some INDIVIDUALS will be more accepting than others.

You're like a cat worrying a mouse with this! You're a server, you're good, you like what you're doing, you can get a job ANYWHERE, so DO SO! It's a grand adventure, so LIVE it! 

Otherwise, you're going to find THAT particular mouse dead in the dust ten years from now, with you going back to worry that poor dried out body every now and then, while you live in the SAME place you do now.

Mon

Mon


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

Hmmmmm,,,,,I'm from Wyoming,,,,,,so,,,,uh,,,,Am I white or black,,,,I keep forgetting,,,,,,


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## Matthew_70 (Sep 5, 2013)

Laura Zone 5 said:


> I want to know, is it true?
> 
> 1. People from the north (yankees) are never accepted. I will always be an outsider in the community and never truly be part.


Generally, yes, they are accepted. At least in my area. With anything, it takes time. Find a club, a social group, a small church, and meet some people. 



> 2. Black folks in the south really don't like white folks, and really really don't like white yankees. And they are not afraid to let 'white yankees' know they are NOT welcome.


Racism is an attitude that one race is better than another. Prejudice is when you pre-judge someone. When you ask this question is tells me you are worried, but not prejudiced, and that you are not racist, or you wouldn't care. 

That said, yes. I do find that blacks look at white people with barely veiled anger. Some tend to blame everything that has gone wrong in their lives on whites, and the media not only supports this kind of stupidity, but encourages it. Others generally shy away from whites because they don't want to be seen as collaborators or white lovers. The last group wants to milk it for all it's worth. I've seen black employees threaten white bosses with civil action if they are fired, and I've seen black employees work in a way that would get a white person fired in a heartbeat, and the manager just shake his head and ignore it. It's stupid, but it's fact. But my question to you is, what does it matter? You are YOU, and how YOU act often determines the tone of an encounter.



> 3. There is far more racial tension in the south than there is in the north, and black folks are very hostile towards white folks.


I've found this to be true. For reasons stated, as well as others. Our current political state allows the media to use race to manipulate people and control issues. I solved the problem by unplugging my television cable and renting movies.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

As strange as this may seem, people of other races and ethnic groups, for the most part, are exactly like you. They want the same things, and have the same values. Again, you get out what you put in. If your experiences are negative, the first place you look should be the mirror.


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

vicker said:


> *As strange as this may seem, people of other races and ethnic groups, for the most part, are exactly like you. They want the same things, and have the same values.* Again, you get out what you put in. If your experiences are negative, the first place you look should be the mirror.


This^^^^ ...I worked with and around many people of different ethnic origins, when I worked construction. People are just people most everywhere. There are always going to be folks that try to get along and those that won't want anything to do with you.


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

I can get along with anyone. I don't care what planet you're from, I can get along with anyone.

There's a town I grew up next too, it's where the Grand Dragon for the KKK lived.
I played softball against his daughter.
Everyone knew this town was FULL of KKK'ers.
And folks (ANY folks) that weren't pasty white KNEW not to go to or thru that town.
But folks from outta state, or what have you, didn't know that.....Until there were in the middle of the town, full of hostiles.

I don't wanna roll up into a town, full of folks, that don't like me just cause I'm not like them (be that I'm a way white girl, be that I am a Yankee, be that I am husbandless.....whatever the reason).

I just wana go, and live.
I wana not leave the stress I am in to move to a place that brings as much or more stress.
I just wana go live. Mind my own business.
Live a quiet, simply life.
Maybe open a small little joint that serves amazing good food...
But really, just lay low, and live.

That's all I'm lookin for.


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## doodlemom (Apr 4, 2006)

Bo Duke was hawt.


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## foxfiredidit (Apr 15, 2003)

...and Daisy Duke was hawt, all that and more. Did I ever tell you about the time I ran through a briar patch buck nekkid with a wildcat slung over each shoulder just to smell the track of the truck that took her.....oh never mind (sigh)!!


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## SimplerTimez (Jan 20, 2008)

(shakes her head) You two, never thought I'd see 'hawt' from Doodle or Fox. Hahahaha.

~ST


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## doodlemom (Apr 4, 2006)

Hold on a minute. Did you ever catch the truck?.... Or did that pesky narrator cut you off just before going into the commercial as he so often does at the good part


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## foxfiredidit (Apr 15, 2003)

It was all Boss Hogg's doing, if I had caught the truck he'd have known where Daisy was hiding out. I just hit the track & caught a whiff of her (it was a laundry truck), realized I was without suitable attire and went back in that briar patch, sans the wildcats of course. I was happy happy happy.


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## doodlemom (Apr 4, 2006)

I called somebody from the south by accident with a thick southern accent and actually said what? Then he repeated "Evidently....I got this new number with my cell phone and you've been calling me and I don't know who so and so is" very politely. A person from the north would go "Wrong number!" *click* Then I imitated the call to a coworker and she was like I wish I had that call...Love those southern accents.


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## starjj (May 2, 2005)

Can't answer your question about black white

My experience

I moved from a town very close to Nashville TN. About 50K in the town, lots of people from the North, South, all parts of the country.

Moved to KY SMALL town 7K people so not that small but a lot smaller than where I moved from. While people are friendly for the most part the whole culture is different and people are clanish. 3 years later and I am still going through culture shock.

Not a lot of racial diversity.


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

Amen. Amen.


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## plowhand (Aug 14, 2005)

I can get along with just about anybody. I can worship God almighty with just about anybody.
Anybody that tells you to move South, everthing is lovely...is not a truth teller. People here are just like the people where you live...some good, some bad....some inbetween.
People that tell you that there are some places you don't need to go to, through, or around are telling you the truth. It's sad, but it is true. 
You'll find racism, several ways....some mild, some violent...some veiled, same thing with religion, class ect.
Just use good common sense, and you should get along fine.


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## moxiegal62 (Nov 28, 2013)

Come on down Laura! Lots of people in the south, and SC, are imports from the north, the midwest, even Europe!! I just relocated myself here to SC back in 2008. For jobs. To make a new life. I was 46 then. 
If you want to, pm me. It helps to have someone already located in the state you are considering moving to. That's how I did it. I had someone out here looking around for me, checking things out, etc.


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## sidepasser (May 10, 2002)

Dutchie said:


> I think FL is considered the South. But I can't be sure.


Folks in GA. believe that Florida is definitely not part of the south. It is a state that happens to be in the south, but not southern anymore. Too many snowbirds from up north for it to be part of the south. and if you go far enough, it becomes another country altogether. 

I reckon the panhandle of Florida might be considered southern and even that is suspicious..lol..


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## SimplerTimez (Jan 20, 2008)

sidepasser said:


> Folks in GA. believe that Florida is definitely not part of the south. It is a state that happens to be in the south, but not southern anymore. Too many snowbirds from up north for it to be part of the south. and if you go far enough, it becomes another country altogether.
> 
> I reckon the panhandle of Florida might be considered southern and even that is suspicious..lol..


When I was born here, it was still part of the South - only some far south locations had been overrun permanently by transplants. Now, there are far more of them than we native-born aka Crackers. But then I come from GA and SC stock, so perhaps that influences my perception of those bygone days. 

There are still some Cracker pockets, but they too, are slowly eroding. Maybe that is why Tennessee fits me better these days...

~ST


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