# Need Moral Support



## craftnkids (Sep 6, 2009)

Help- 
We are now a month into schooling and we keep getting further and further behind.
I want to talk to someone who has the same problems- but without anyone judging me for not being "on top" of their schooling.
Husband is in Afghanistan and I have a 9th, 8th, and 5th grader. 
I have made out their lesson plans for the first 9 weeks but we are only working on the 3rd week of work. Tomorrow we should have started the 5th week- but it will not be happening. 
We have switched over to Abeka this year and I am trying to abide by their scheduling, but it is driving me nuts.
Anyone else out their struggling already?
Angela
Homeschooling Mamma in need of support


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## BusyBees2 (Dec 10, 2004)

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling. But maybe you can evaluate the issue in more detail and that could help find a solution...

Are you getting _anything _done? Just not keeping to the Abeka schedule?
Are the kids battling the process because it's a new program?
Are they not interested, rebelling, or just moving slowly through things?
Why the switch to Abeka? Does it fit their learning styles better? Or is that maybe the problem now...

I'm not familar with the Abeka program, but if it's new to you all then it might simply take some more time to adjust to new expectations, routines and techniques. Is it possible that the new program just doesn't work well with their learning styles? Even if it looked good on paper, sometimes it just doesn't pan out once you start it.

I think if you're making progress, allbeit slow progress, then that's a good thing. Don't beat yourself up over it...Give everyone time to adjust to something new. If you're not making progress due to rebellion over something new & they don't like it, then maybe the move to Abeka wasn't the best decision...this happens...Don't beat yourself up over it.

Hang in there. The learning process is ever changing... I'm sorry if I couldn't offer more help...I'm not familiar with the program. But keep your chin up. There's plenty of time left in the year. You will move ahead and the kids will learn.:walk:


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## craftnkids (Sep 6, 2009)

We moved over to Abeka so that I would have an easier time of grading and evaluating for DS high school transcripts.
Abeka is very writing intensive and they are not used to that. I am not use to having to grade and teach everything either.
Previously we have used curriculums that are more self taught- although not succesfully. 
I don't feel they are being rebellious, but they too are frustrated that they don't seem to be making progress on their lesson sheets. 
I just don't feel like there is enough of me to go around. I work with the 5th grader very intensively all day and try and fit in snippets of time with the other two. Not to mention that my home business is going down the tubes because I don't have time to devote to that. My kids education comes first.
I guess I am just frustrated to be doing it all alone without any support from hubby.
Thanks for listening!


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## cindy-e (Feb 14, 2008)

I have a 9th grader, 8th grader, 7th grader, 4th grader, 2nd grader... 

I do know how you feel about feeling pulled in a ton of directions. I think perhaps the schedule is the problem. That schedule was written for somebody who has a Dad at home, not away in Afganistan, or someone who doesn't run their own business, and maybe doesn't have to work at all! I think you need to give yourself some grace, and maybe look at how to combine some things and save yourself some time. If it takes you a few months longer to get done with the curriculum, I am not exactly sure what is wrong with that? Also, if you are really struggling over there, I suggest focusing on the basics, like language arts, mathematics, and if you wish history and science, and then let go of the rest! You can always add more back in later once you get your feet wet in this new way of doing things. 

For the record, there is *no way* that I could do a curriculum like Abeka, where everybody is doing a separate thing all day. I school classically, and our schooling is academically challenging, but I could never do 5 (or even 3) completely separate curriculums and have that work! I combine as much as I can, and I use a literature based approach so that even when I am talking about issues that are above the heads of the two little ones (take history or politics for example), they can still be with us and be intrigued by the story of the event. It helps them to have a vast vocabulary for their ages too, to be read to so far above "grade level". I do expect a fair amount of independent work from my older kids. I have only 1 hour per day per kid scheduled with the older kids to actually work with them one on one. They are all in one or two online classes too, so that I don't have to teach everything! 
But I combine as much else as I can. I have three times per day when we all come together and work together. We do not do every subject every day, and if it takes the whole year to get through with the curriculum because that is what my kids need, but we are not hurried, harried, and upset with each other the whole time, I am OK with that.  So even in a family who does logic and latin, and competes on math competition teams, we work together as much as possible! I just can't teach 5 completely separate curriculums that are designed to take 4 or more hours a day! I just can't do it! There is only one of me, and only so many hours in the day! 
You have to make a schedule that works for your situation, and you have to do school in such a way as to maximize your time. I don't know what that will look like for you. I do know that Abeka sells videos that teach certain subjects... maybe one or two of those purchased off of ebay would be of good use to free up some of your time if this is the direction you want to go. If you could just hand off a subject or two to the video teacher, that could free up hours! 
I am sure I was as clear as mud. Sorry about that.  Hopefully you find something helpful in the above. 
I do understand, and I do feel for you! Remember to just keep going, too. You'll be surprised how much they do get out of the year when it is over, even if it does not meet your goals exactly. 
Cindyc.


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## craftnkids (Sep 6, 2009)

Thank you for your kind words- I hadn't thought about videos but that may be a solution. 
So I am back to keeping my head up and forging on.
Thanks again,
Angela


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## Happy Palace (Sep 21, 2007)

You've gotten some good advice, so I'll just add my understanding. cindy-e is right - give yourself some grace. My dh doesn't help much with school & he's right here! This is our 6th year homeschooling & I've been "under" their education most of that time! I tried 3 curriculums last year & we accomplished very, very little. This year I'm using two cores & combining 1st grade, 4th grade & 7th grade for Bible & history. I'm combining 1st & 4th for science. We don't use Abeka, but I had it in school & have a friend who uses it (one child at a time, what a perfect world!). It is intense. You can slow down & you can change things. Please don't feel like you have to do it all. We do a quasi year round school which has taken alot of pressure off of me.

No grand advice to offer, but I definitely understand how you feel ((((hugs)))).


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## Cheryl in SD (Apr 22, 2005)

I used to teach at a Christian school. I taught A Beka. A Beka was written for classroom teaching. Classrooms with one grade (maybe two) and a full time teacher doing nothing but teaching. I have known many, many home schoolers and the vast majority that burned out _that I know _used A Beka. It is a *great* _classroom_ curriculum. To be blunt, it was not written for home schools. 

If you are going to use it for your homeschool, I would suggest not planning to use it as scheduled. Those tests are because a CLASSROOM teacher must have tests to know if her students "got it". All the daily work is because she must keep a child busy for 45 - 60 minutes per class, whether they need the extra or not. You simply do not NEED all the busy work, quizzes and tests as a home educator, you KNOW if Junior knows the order of the planets. So use the textbooks as your base, add fun stuff to compliment, do what your child needs to learn the material and sell the rest on ebay.

JMHO


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## heather (May 13, 2002)

in my experience Abeka is very "busy"

I do not require ALL of the work to be done -
for instance, before each math lesson, I go through my 3rd graders worksheets & circle the problems I want her to do (usually about half)

I like Abeka because it seems to be advanced (seems to be at least half a grade ahead of our local ps)
but I do not require everything they include

Sounds like you may simply be trying to do too much

I will say a prayer for YOU today! 

PS - just wanted to add that I didn't figure this out right away - I struggled at the beginning too!


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## ErinP (Aug 23, 2007)

craftnkids said:


> Help-
> We have switched over to Abeka this year and I am trying to abide by their scheduling, but it is driving me nuts.


I've heard this complaint before, actually. Are you sure it's you and not your curriculum?

I've never taught A Beka, but a friend of mine taught it at the country school she had about 10 years ago. (Yeah, public school money, but there was only one family in the school, so they did what they wanted)
Even in a dedicated classroom, with a fully certified teacher (who didn't have preschoolers, laundry, mending, etc.) she still wasn't hitting everything. It wasn't possible. :shrug:


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## lonelyfarmgirl (Feb 6, 2005)

when I started homeschooling, we ended up skipping a year, because the transition was too much. she caught up later. also, one year she decided that elephants mattered more than anything else in the world, so we studied elephants, and only elephants. as the year went on, I manipulated her into understanding that Africa as a whole is entirely involved with elephants, and managed to spend a whole year studying all aspects of Africa. no curricullum, and she loved it. she learned the countries and rivers, made crafts, watched political video's, etc.. All I had to do was explain what it had to do with elephants, and why..piece of cake.

what I am getting at, is this..find out what they like and hate about what they are doing. give them the opportunity to change things to suit them, as long as they are learning what you need them to learn. that way they can make their own fun and learn at the same time. takes some pressure off you.

or better yet, have them teach each other.

I got nothing else, keep at it..and good luck..regardless of what they may skip and what they may seem to learn, they wont end up uneducated.
Im sure you are actually doing fine.


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## reese (Jul 6, 2004)

As a military wife, I learned a long time ago to take things one day at a time and not sweat it if my plans fall "behind". As a hser, I learned to also take things one day at a time and _flexibility._ 

It all really does work itself out, try and relax some and let the flow go. It's better IMO to go at a slower pace and not have everyone uptight, than a faster pace and everyone feeling the stress from that.


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## Danaus29 (Sep 12, 2005)

We did A beka for half a year, while the kids were in a small private school. I pulled my kids out when the new "director" became a dictator and kicked the parent helpers out. A beka is very involved, very advanced (compared to our district) and moves very fast. Doing it by yourself it takes twice as long as it would in a classroom setting. I can't imagine doing it with 3 children and no other help. Even the videos don't go over everything that's in the books. The 10th grade math was a total nightmare! Our school was too cheap to buy the solutions book so everyone was completely lost. Even the foreign language classes moved much faster than my high school French class did. My dd's 5th grade class had so many spelling words that were difficult and IMO had too much homework revolving around them. 

However, the best thing about homeschooling is that you can blip over the parts you feel are not important and spend more time on things you want to spend more time on. If your child wants to go ahead and finish the whole year of one subject right away and let the other subjects wait until later, you can do that. If you need to spend 2 weeks learning new math skills, you can do that.

I really hope they fixed the 5th grade science book. We found many many mistakes in it.


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## hobbyfarmer (Oct 10, 2007)

Everyone seems to have already given you great advice concerning the Abeka curriculum. We tried it one year and ending up only picking out a few materials to keep and replacing the rest with more suitable (to each individual child) resources. It just didn't work for us.

But, I wanted to add my own personal experience and what I learned from sending my kids to public schools from our homeschool. When my kids expressed an interest in trying the PS, I worried myself to death over the curriculum. I switched to more advanced materials and a crazy schedule, then pushed my kids hard. I was so afraid that they would be "lost" when transitioning from our relaxed schedule to the PS schedule. I was wrong. Last year (at home) was a nightmare for the kids and myself, due to the stress of trying to make homeschool run like the PS (which is what I think the Abeka curriculum does). We didn't get nearly as much accomplished as I wanted and that whole year was a big disaster. Now in the PS system, my kids are well above grade level and in fact, my 3rd grader is assigned to tutor peers who have trouble reading. My tenth grader is an honor roll student making very little effort, actually. So, I made their last year at home miserable when all along, they were actually learning more with our relaxed schedule and hodge podge curriculum. My 3rd grader wants to go back to homeschooling next year and I'm more excited than ever to put together my own curriculum again. Those days when it feels like you are getting absolutely nothing accomplished are really not as wasted as you probably feel they are right now. If you are working at least on your core subjects every day and relaxed enough to let learning "happen", you're doing ok, imo.

I applaud you for taking this on with a hubby in Afghanistan! Maybe just taking a good hard look at what your kids are really gaining from your curriculum would help you to better organize and above all, RELAX, and feel better about the rest of the year.


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## Cashs Cowgirl (Jan 26, 2006)

Maybe look at SOS or K12 for your upper students as it is mostly self directed work on the computer and online if I'm not mistaken...an online school maybe would work for them as well. My daughter is in 6th grade and does most of her work herself. Her father schools her in math as needed, since I'm not great at it myself, thus feel uncomfortable teaching it to her. I give her lesson plan to her and off she goes. I do ask her questions at the end of the day and check her work which helps me to see what she's getting and what she's learning. Plus she can make any corrections needed. She likes it better this way and I'm able to focus more on our son's education (4th grade). 

I personally grew to hate Abeka...very quickly-and my kids did before I did, but we gave it a good go. It was way too much busy work on some things and not enough in depth in other areas...of course this was in the younger grades. The program I use now both kids work from for History, Science, Reading/literature. Then I have math, phonics, grammer workbooks, etc tailored to each child. I always make sure to have other books for my daughter about the time period we're studying so that I can add them in for her since she reads much faster than our son.

The great thing about homeschooling is that there are so many other programs out there that you can use. It's just finding one that fits and sometimes that can take a little while...

Oh and something I do now during school hours, the phone is off the hook. My hubby has the cell # in case emergencies, but otherwise no phone calls and no activities until after school is done. We do have a piano lesson on Tuesdays mid afternoon, but our schedule is worked around that and most of the work is done before we even go...


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