# If Your Spouse Should Pass Away...



## Helena

If your spouse should pass away how would your weather it with money.?? Had a friend this year that died and her husband stated that now his income is cut in half..but expenses are the same. For me personally, it would be hard financially. I think I would be living in only a couple of rooms during the winter since we heat with wood and I would need to use less wood. Probably do without propane for hot water and cooking relying on the wood stove for these...and deal with it during the summer..My propane for these 2 are close to $200 a month...the less you use the more it cost. So...how would your life change ??


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## Micheal

Hummm, first thought is dependent on which one of us died, the wife would be better off financially than me at first.
The only sources of income she would lose would be one of my pensions and of course my SS. But the wind-fall she would get at my death, with some investment should make up for any monthly money loss. Where she would run into trouble is if'n she wanted to stay here...... Her interest in the operation of this homestead is and always has been, ahhh, lacking. So she would have to sell out and move to ?????? thereby increasing her expenses. Besides she would have to start handling the "bills" and all I can say is that I hope my spirit will be around to see that........ :angel: ound::hysterical:

With her passing, financially I'd only be out her SS check, which yes would be a "cut in income" but nothing that I couldn't work around and if needed partially replace through other untapped sources. In general, for me other than the loss of "her" not much in my life would have to change unless I wanted it to......... :happy:


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## Big Dave

We were talking about this last night. We cryed. I would just not know how to keep up my spirit with her gone. Even the burial would be taxing right now. Cremation is how we will have to go. Financially she would be better off if I go first. We just lost our beloved three year old Westie. She just died. life is sooo fragile. even when you make plans and are prepared you still have the emotional roller coaster that no one but you will have to deal with. I think if she goes I will just have to see if I stay here. To old to stay to old to go. That is where the bank robbing comes in to play as there will be no one else and I can't take care of myself I will let the cards fall where they may. Deperation? I guess but I will be alone. No children to keep me, no wife, man this is a sad post, no Social security. Old hippie farmers home? If yall hear of one they have to be ******* hippie farmers. I hope this is a long way off but as I look back even when I was quite a bit younger It has been just a blink of an eye in time to see my demize. What will I leave in this world as alegacy? Nothing. Not even these word will be here in coming years. So to answer the question. If my spouse passes before me. Watch out world. (hope the cops don't come knockin)


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## Guest

When your wife dies, you don't think about money for a long time. Then when you do, its pretty much secondary to the emptiness inside.


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## Deacon Mike

Micheal said:


> Hummm, first thought is dependent on which one of us died, the wife would be better off financially than me at first.
> The only sources of income she would lose would be one of my pensions and of course my SS. But the wind-fall she would get at my death, with some investment should make up for any monthly money loss. Where she would run into trouble is if'n she wanted to stay here...... Her interest in the operation of this homestead is and always has been, ahhh, lacking. So she would have to sell out and move to ?????? thereby increasing her expenses. Besides she would have to start handling the "bills" and all I can say is that I hope my spirit will be around to see that........ :angel: ound::hysterical:
> 
> With her passing, financially I'd only be out her SS check, which yes would be a "cut in income" but nothing that I couldn't work around and if needed partially replace through other untapped sources. In general, for me other than the loss of "her" not much in my life would have to change unless I wanted it to......... :happy:


At the death of either you or your spouse, the survivor would still receive the _higher_ of the two monthly SS checks.

So if spouse A gets $1200 month, and spouse b gets $1000, in either case the surviviing spouse would get $1200 per month.


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## TxGypsy

From a financial stand point....it depends on the spouse you loose. 

When I divorced my ex I 'lost' his income, but the reality is that I paid all the bills, he spent every penny he had as soon as he got it and then proceeded to spend every penny he could pry out of my hands. Now that he is gone, I find that I have a lot more money available.

I know the OP was referring to the death of a spouse, and I'm not trying to say that divorce is at all equal, but financially speaking, it can be used as a comparison. You many loose the income, but you will be loosing some expense as well.

Something that I wish more people would do is to pre-plan their final arrangements. If you have already made all of the arrangements, that will take a tremendous burden off of your loved ones at a very difficult time.


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## jwal10

We sat up our retirement so it continues the same at my death. Sweetie only worked 11 years of our marriage (1 before) so she hasn't built much Social Security. She will have my Life Insurance too. There is some property for her to sell as well. Unfortuanately we have seen her Mother struggle, her Husband passed at 50 and his retirement was only there for 5 years for her. For some reason his Social Security was not a lot. She was a housewife for all of their marriage and she had to go back to work at 55. Poor planning....James


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## Micheal

Deacon Mike said:


> At the death of either you or your spouse, the survivor would still receive the _higher_ of the two monthly SS checks.
> 
> So if spouse A gets $1200 month, and spouse b gets $1000, in either case the surviviing spouse would get $1200 per month.


Yep, you are right on :clap: ....... but the wife (or me) would still take a $1000.00 monthly haircut in income as per your example. :smack
And trust me, to the wife that would be an unfavorable tipping factor. :Bawling:


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## newfieannie

yeah, what Zong said. i never worked outside the home ever though so i had no pensions or anything like that. we had no debt because i had always looked after everything. my love had no interest and no idea what we had. a good thing he trusted me. he had insurance and rrsp's so i got that and a little of his canada pension. i dont live very high on the hog anyway so i could manage quite well. course after that i remarried and so on.. ~Georgia


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## Raeven

When my husband died unexpectedly at age 55, I was left a widow at 50. Yes, my income was curtailed. But when we purchased our property, we made sure that either one of us could manage the mortgage on our own should something happen to the other. So I'm managing.

Do I miss his income? Sure. But I miss him a whole lot more than that. Like zong said, it's the least of your concerns if it happens to you.


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## ldc

My guy died a year ago in March, unexpectedly, up in Oklahoma where he was working on a contract, coming home for the holidays, etc. We weren't legally married, and just missed being common-law married in OK, but the statute changed. As others have commented, it's him I miss, but the money is going to be a problem, too, down the line. We were separated due to having found jobs in 2 different states, and needing them both too much to risk living in one place. We were both in our 50's, and making up for lost retirements, 18 layoffs in 16 yrs on my part, and 3 yrs of unemployment on his. We thought we were a team and did our future planning that way. He tried to leave me assets to make up for the future lack of his pension and ss. I'm still humbled by the trouble he took at the very end. And, while some find our sort of arrangement unacceptable, please know that many do not marry for many different reasons. My heart goes out to those who posted above - zong, raeven, newfinnie, about their own losses.


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## yikes

Big Dave said:


> What will I leave in this world as alegacy? Nothing. Not even these word will be here in coming years.)


I will remember you.


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## Big Dave

What a sweet thing to say. Thank you


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## danielsumner

Everything would stay the same, except there is a $50,000 insurance policy I would get. If anything happened to me, her income would remain the same, but she would get a lot more from the insurance policies. I'm 56 and she is 55 so we have sometime before SS. She hasn't worked since we've been married, so she would draw on my SS. I've planned for years for retirement and it looks like things are working out. We just pray that our health stays good. My condolences to those that have lost their spouses/significant other. I can't even imagine how hard it must be.


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## rxkeith

financially either one of us would be ok.
the emotional loss would be another thing, but life goes on and so would we.


keith


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## Sonshine

DH and I decided to make sure we had pretty good life insurance coverage because of our DS. After we're gone, someone will need to take over his care, so we wanted to make sure they would not be burdened. My nephew and his wife are his Godparents and at least one of them would have to quit their job to take care of him.


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## Jaclynne

When my dh passed last summer unexpectedly, we were just beginning to discuss early retirement. He was 62, and I am 52. His passing changed everything. 

We had always thought I'd work longer to pay for insurance after he retired, but my health had deteriorated. This year I was approved for disability, so my income is close to what he would have drawn from early retirement ss. It is based on a catagory called disabled widows benefits. I had to sell the farm animals, tractor, trailers, etc, and rent the farm out.

There was a burial policy, required a lawyer and some paperwork to get them to pay, but it covered the services.
There was a life policy from his job that refused to pay the full amount, paid a little more than 1/3 what we had expected. I am so glad my dh didn't have to know any of this because he worried about me having enough.

Now a 1/2 year later I'm adjusting to the income going from 70,000 to 17 thousand per yr. I'm about to pay off my Jeep and a portable building I bought, then no debts at all. I've remodeled a house we owned and moved in. It doesn't feel like my standard of living has decreased at all. I'm not sure what we spent so much money on.

I don't know how dh would have faired if I had been the one to go. I wish we had planned better,earlier.

Jackie


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## MorrisonCorner

About 15 years ago my DH had to leave on a business trip and I insisted, before he left, that there be term life insurance policies in place. We bought the policies hastily and I haven't really looked at them since. Honestly.. I'm not even sure what I'd get if the man dropped dead. But it is a sum. Enough to bury him, pay off any bills, and leave me with a "start over" fund. I've never regretted paying that bill. The peace of mind is worth the modest monthly cost.


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## thequeensblessing

We've tried to keep up our financial planning so that if either of us passed, the other wouldn't have to worry about money, on top of all the grief and pain. We have talked about this, as most couples should, and I think we've got most things covered. I could stay here on farm if I chose to. We have retirement accounts, life insurance policies, and real estate investments to help with the financial costs of losing a partner in life. We also have a network of friends, the church, and family to help with the emotional costs of losing a partner in life. I worry far more about the emotional costs than I do the financial though.


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## whodunit

I am a 45 year old non-smoker who is healthy except for being overweight. My LI policy costs less than $18 a month for ten years and will pay out $100K, which will pay off the house. With SS survivor benefits, she and the children should be able to make it okay financially, but with no frills. Depending on how I die, there might be other smaller policies that also pay off. I am now getting ready to get coverage on her. She is much younger and healthier, so we should be able to get a larger policy on her. If you are older it will be more expensive, but overall a term policy is a good buy.


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## Jokarva

Big Dave said:


> We were talking about this last night. We cryed. I would just not know how to keep up my spirit with her gone. Even the burial would be taxing right now. Cremation is how we will have to go. Financially she would be better off if I go first. We just lost our beloved three year old Westie. She just died. life is sooo fragile. even when you make plans and are prepared you still have the emotional roller coaster that no one but you will have to deal with. I think if she goes I will just have to see if I stay here. To old to stay to old to go. That is where the bank robbing comes in to play as there will be no one else and I can't take care of myself I will let the cards fall where they may. Deperation? I guess but I will be alone. No children to keep me, no wife, man this is a sad post, no Social security. Old hippie farmers home? If yall hear of one they have to be ******* hippie farmers. I hope this is a long way off but as I look back even when I was quite a bit younger It has been just a blink of an eye in time to see my demize. What will I leave in this world as alegacy? Nothing. Not even these word will be here in coming years. So to answer the question. If my spouse passes before me. Watch out world. (hope the cops don't come knockin)



I'm sorry about your pup, that's a tough one. Don't get too down about the future though, you never know what's in store...life has a way of surprising us all sometimes.

I would be financially fine without DH because I've always handled the finances and I am not a spender, DH is the spender in the family. We have no mortgage or other debt, BUT, we also have no kids so if either of us needed custodial care at some point then our funds would drain pretty fast. If that happens I'll just have to take that long walk into the woods some cold night...


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## time

I have to live another year to ensure my wife gets DIC benifits. At that point she should be able to keep the place. After the next year, she would lose about half of my income. Meager living but doable. If I go before the year, she'll have it rough financially. Once the place is paid for, about 10 years(I'll be 55), she should be okay.

I'll be fine financially if she goes first. Better off, actually.


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## ceresone

How will they survive the immediate future? I just got off the phone with Social Security, My husbands check, deposited in March, FOR the month of Feb, while he was still living was deposited in the bank, for 2 weeks, and I paid the normal bills ( I had gone to SS, and filled out the required paperwork for the estate to get it) then ZIP--SS pulled it back out of the bank! Their excuse? They didnt get the paperwork in time!! And-the check will be reissued--but not real soon!
And--dont believe that the wife will get the husbands benefit either---I get "part" of his--and "part" of mine! neither, together, adding up to his!
Somehow, I will manage-but 11 years of his brain cancer ate up the extra money.
Worse than the money tho--is the lonely ness--(is that a proper word?) 48 years together--He spent 20 years as a truck driver-and I keep thinking of things I want to tell him when he calls-then I remember-no pay phones in Heaven


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## newfieannie

i know exactly what you mean Ceresone. my love has been gone for 9 years but there are still times when i forget and think i will tell him about that when he comes home. for the longest time it was as if he was only on one of his trips.

the money situation was a bit different though. he was on full pay and our health insurance paid for all the medications. then when he passed i had his life insurance and part of his canada pension rsp's etc. not a great amount but enough for me. i do have friends though who spent every cent they had .cleaned out their RSP's etc. then with hardly anything they still went into debt for 15000 or so for the funeral. all the best to you Ceresone. ~Georgia.


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## emdeengee

In my business I have dealt with a lot of clients who lost a spouse and ended up in a huge mess. My strongest advice to any couple is to please share all the financial information and decisions. Each partner should know exactly where all the documents are and be completely involved in all financial matters. No one ever wants to believe that loved one would or could completely destroy their finances but believe me this happens so often that it is scary. Sometimes it is one partner being a complete jackass other times it is simple mistakes or even health issues that impair decision making. When the husband of one of my first clients died it was discovered that he had been making insane financial decisions leaving her bankrupt. Insane was the operative word because it turned out that he had a brain tumour.

If you are retired then it is even more important to know exactly what would be lost or changed with the death of a partner. Which pensions would you lose and which would be reduced. Insurance of course is for the living and it is a great gift but many policies cease to exist after a certain age. Signing beneficiary statements for all of your bank accounts and savings, RRSPs, investments and insurances etc is really important because the money goes directly to the beneficiary and not into the estate.

If my husband dies before me I will be financially ok and able to continue with limited change. If I die before him (and that is what we expect since I have incurable cancer) he will be well set as I have kept up insurance policies on myself.


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## ChristieAcres

My DH couldn't be replaced, coping with losing my soul-mate would be incredibly tough! I cannot picture life without him in it, but am a survivor, so I would have to go on. I could cope with the money matters, am in good health, stay fit, and can keep up with all the work needing to be done on our property. However, we are both so entrenched with everything, the loss of him, would leave a gaping hole. He fixes flat everything around here, which includes all appliances, wiring, plumbing, our vehicles, and does all the heavy physical work. I can use a chainsaw, splitter, etc... I am not a Welder/Machinist. Funny thing about that, have been gaining an interest in learning his skillsets, out of my own interest. That could be a real Godsend if something were to happen to him. I am not the type would live alone, so would probably initially have one of my grown children here, then get a roommate. Marrying again is not out of the question, just not a consideration or thought. It would take a lot for me to want to, if I lost my beloved Len.

If I am first to go? DH would have a very difficult time coping with losing me, but is completely capable of taking 100% care of himself and everything around here, much more so than I am. He cooks, cleans, and does his own laundry, took care of his own bills for many years, and there is nothing I can do that he can't. He is into gardening, too. So, that is comforting to me. I do know he would absolutely get married again, as he is the marrying kind of guy, and wouldn't want to live alone. That said, he would have just as hard of a time finding someone he could put in my place in his heart (just as hard for him as it would be for me).


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## Staceyy

I went through this several years ago. I was not working outside of the home at the time. There was life insurance and 401k money. A year later I turned 60 and was eligible to collect my husband's social security as a widow. I am now 62 and eligible to take out a reverse mortgage if needed. Social Security says I can collect on my own social security when I turn 66, as at that time my social security will be higher than my deceased husbands. If I wait until I'm 70, which I am hoping to do, my benefits will even be higher. My Dad moved in with me last year, and we are sharing household expenses. I am now dating and contemplating remarriage.


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## frogmammy

emdeengee said:


> .....If I die before him (and that is what we expect since I have incurable cancer) he will be well set as I have kept up insurance policies on myself.


Well, just don't be the farm on THAT! Life has a way of throwing curves at the least expected time.

I had surgery for stage four cancer. Got out of the hospital and was getting things in order for my husband, so he would know what he had, what he owed, and where, for when I died. He died 20 months later.

And I'm doing fine.

Mon


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## Shrek

Helena said:


> If your spouse should pass away how would your weather it with money.?? Had a friend this year that died and her husband stated that now his income is cut in half..but expenses are the same. For me personally, it would be hard financially. I think I would be living in only a couple of rooms during the winter since we heat with wood and I would need to use less wood. Probably do without propane for hot water and cooking relying on the wood stove for these...and deal with it during the summer..My propane for these 2 are close to $200 a month...the less you use the more it cost. So...how would your life change ??


My first wife passed away unexpectedly after we had been living together 5 years and married for almost one.

She was the prepper , gardener and finance manager of us and continued as the financial planner for me for a year after her passing and she made sure I had at least one hot meal a day for about 7 months after she went away.

She was such a planner that after I returned her vehicle that we were making payments on to the dealer to resell and eliminated expenses specific to her from the budget she had planned for us, within two months I was able to follow the remaining yearly budget that had my specific and general household expenses listed as if she was still with me.

As we both worked and spent our weekends cooking and freezing meals for us, eating both the ones for me and the ones for her I stretched 4 months of prepared meals to 7 as I tended the small garden she left to restock the freezer for myself and kept our dream of a small house and a few acres alive for myself and eventually arrived at it as I followed my path alone with her watching from the distance in the back of my head.

Decades after my time with her came to an end, I still feel her glance as I prepare my yearly budget ledger , plan my garden and stock my freezer as she taught me during our time together.


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## ceresone

This happened to me in March 2012. No SS combines "part" of each check--they took part of mine-and part of his--I actually get less than his was alone. I had everything figured out, I thought--that was before someone dumped 3 dogs on me--horse feed, as well as dog and cat feed went up(and dont advise me to get rid of them, they are warm bodies that are glad to see me) groceries went up--insurance, taxes etc went up... and they DO take back your check for the month of death--takes at least 3 months to get it straightened out.. but somehow--you survive


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## mnn2501

I have always tried to keep our expenses so that one person could pay them if necessary, that will be even more important now as retirement approaches.


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## SageLady

I would be worse off as I would receive a much reduced portion of DH's pension. But I would sell my house and move in with my oldest DD. She has already talked to me about this scenario, and invited me to share her home with her. It would work out well for both of us, I think, and DH is happy knowing that I have a plan in place just in case... Going on with my life without him in it would be the hardest part....he is my heart.


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## lmrose

My husband has lived on borrowed time all the 35 yrs we have been married and way before he met me. He has an incurable condition to do with his kidney. We have no life insurance because he is high risk. We have no home insurance because the house is too old. But we do have a plan if he should pass before me. My income would be minimal as I would lose his Old Age Pension. The farm is paid for so I could stay here as long as I could pay the taxes. The most important thing is he has taught me enough about gardening and raising animals that I am confident I can look after myself as long as my health holds. If my health fails I would sell out and use the money to get the care I need. He will do the same if I die before him. It is unpleasant to have this discussion but very necessary to be prepared. Bill always ignored the doctors prediction and says he will live as long as God wants him too.


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## Horseyrider

We are facing this now.

My DH has cancer, and the prognosis isn't good. We have excellent health insurance, ample life insurance, strong savings, and no debt. If he passes, I'll actually be in better shape financially than I am now. He's done everything possible to provide for me for the rest of my life. I'll never have to work, and I'll have no trouble keeping our home.

It's just hard to imagine how there can be life without him.

Should by some crazy accident I pass first, then his biggest problem will be dealing with the distribution of all my critters. He has no idea how to market a well-bred horse, so he'd have to hire that done. He'd probably give the poultry away, and keep a dog or two. But he'd abandon the garden and the fruit trees. Financially he'd be fine; there's money to bury me.


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## Nancy

We are trying to get our debts paid, we have mortgage, with 2 years to pay, and a couple vans. One he uses for work, one for me. Everything else is just the monthly bills. I am 65, DH is 64. He's been a self employed remodeling contractor most of our married life. Just took a new job as the director of maintenance at a nursing home in November. He is hoping the Lord keeps him healthy and well until we get all our debts paid off and then save some. As the future is unknown we'll just see what happens. Like others on here have said, things can change overnight. We'll deal with whatever comes when it comes. Luckily we have one of our kids close, within 10 miles. we've been frugal and doing without is nothing new.


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## SimplerTimez

Helena said:


> If your spouse should pass away how would your weather it with money.?? Had a friend this year that died and her husband stated that now his income is cut in half..but expenses are the same. For me personally, it would be hard financially. I think I would be living in only a couple of rooms during the winter since we heat with wood and I would need to use less wood. Probably do without propane for hot water and cooking relying on the wood stove for these...and deal with it during the summer..My propane for these 2 are close to $200 a month...the less you use the more it cost. So...how would your life change ??


I'm in a little different position because we were younger.

Already lived through it - he died unexpectedly at age 40, I was 47. No life insurance (due to add him in October, he died in August). So I dealt with both a huge financial impact along with the loss of the love of my life. I did okay for a little while, as we had been saving to buy a house again, so I did. Then I was laid off - ended up having to leave my little place, had to trade down on my car, sell everything I had of value. Went from acreage and a nice 1940's little farmhouse to now a 200 square foot studio in the city, trying to start over again. Unlike zong, I had to think of money immediately in tandem with dealing with grief. The greater loss was being loved; I can live most anywhere if I have to, for now.

The one thing I've learned is that I won't do anything on credit again if at all possible - not even land or a home. Even now that I was rehired, it will take me at least two years to pay off debt and begin saving to pay cash. Thankfully I am still working age with time to start over. I was lucky that after pulling the place out of foreclosure by borrowing against my 401K and from family, I found a land contract buyer and they are paying timely. But all plans that I make have to include the potential that I would once again have that mortgage payment even if I could rent it or find another buyer. I will probably never be able to retire in the real sense of the word. 

Life does go on, it just goes on very differently and with a great big hole in your life that isn't related to earnings.

~ST


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## Westexas

God bless all of you dealing with devastating losses. This is something that is often on my mind and reminds me that i am not the ONE in charge, and to treasure each day for the miracle it truly is. I have felt for a long time that we would be much better off living in a community of like-minded souls, and my husband is of like mind, thank goodness. Putting this into practice has been more difficult, however. Attempts to share what God has blessed us with have been met with skepticism to downright avarice in most cases. We would love to help each of you if only we were closer!


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## emdeengee

Unfortunately this is something that happens regularly. One partner is left and the finances get complicated. 

A very good exercise is to calculate how much would be left if/when one partner passes away and then spend a couple of months living on this lower income. This will give you the best idea of what to expect and possibly how to fix the situation. May involve some extra savings. It is the same principle as when you get pregnant. You know you are going to be on maternity leave with a lowered income so prepare for that by living smaller in advance.


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## topofmountain

I don't know what would happen to me. I would not have any debt, three vehicles two RVs two pieces of property all paid for. One I could live on.
But the emptiness & how I would deal with that. Would I want to stay at our property that was our dream alone. Sometime I think I would go stay or be close to one of my two life long friends. 
My wife is 10 years younger than I'm & has a good job as a teacher. She is a SPED teacher with two master degrees. She makes good money & would be OK. She married me at 38 years old & was never married before & lived alone when I met her. I think she would do better than I.


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## vancom

When my DH died in 2007 just two years after we moved to the country, it was rough. Not financially, fortunately, but I was left with three children under the age of 13, goats and chickens to tend, no family within eight hours and a FT job- he was the family caretaker, and it was very hard in so many ways. But the children grew up fine, the money was tight as he had limited life insurance and we made it through. I have since remarried, and happy again, but his death haunts me. My new husband and I have moved out in the country, in a new county, and he turned 60 yesterday. I am fearful now of so many things, and worry about losing him as well. It's a different kind of struggle, going through it once and fearing it again. I spend too much energy on the "what-ifs" and I am trying to simply move forward without that money on my back. But life goes on...


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## ceresone

I've posted twice on this subject--and just now realized the difference
You can manage fine for the first couple years--then bills start to close in on you!1 Its the expected, yet, unexpected. Your Farm insurance goes up--gas and propane goes up--interest rates rise-and before long, you know you just cant survive!
I'm selling my Jeep, luckily all paid up, low mileage, but then--it will only last so long.. Drats--cant even afford a lottery ticket!!!


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## newcolorado

My husband died 45 years ago this time of Dec. 3 kids, 9, 12, 15 and no ins, he left $600 in savings to bury him. I could not drive as he would not allow it. His SS smallest they paid . Car OLD I had to learn to drive and get a car so could go to work. House was paid for. I worked 34 years in the same job after he died. 72 when I retired. Kids got raised okay. Of course money was tight. I worked part time for good many years, then full time. I never went on welfare. No food stamps. Yes, the first years SS and Widow VA pension. I am living on SS now.


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## TheMartianChick

If I separate out the emotional part of this topic and only address the financial aspects, our situation would look something like this:

When hubby retires next year, we will have no mortgages (paid off from 401k money), a 401k retirement account and rental property. Hubby will be eligible for SS in 5 years. (He's able to stop working at 57 due to the 55+ age exception for 401k's)

If something were to happen to me, there is life insurance for the burial and a lump sum to add to the bank/investment account. Hubby would still be able to draw from his 401k and collect rent. My 401k would also be turned over to him. Once he turned 62, he could collect SS. He'd be just fine financially.

If something happened to hubby, the situation would be a bit different. There is still life insurance and rental property to pay for day-to-day expenses. As his spouse, I would automatically inherit the funds that remain in his 401k. However, I'm not old enough to access them without incurring a penalty for early withdrawal, since I'm 43. I couldn't access them until I was at least 55. Under this scenario, the basics would be covered, but I might feel the need to go back to work part time to earn some "fun money."

The worst case scenario that I can see would be if something happened to hubby during the next year. In that event, I wouldn't be able to access the retirement money AND the mortgages wouldn't be paid off. This would mean that I'd require more money each month for living expenses. This is something that we had not planned for, so *I appreciate this exercise.* It looks as though we will need to increase the life insurance on hubby to address this issue.


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## Scott SW Ohio

TheMartianChick said:


> As his spouse, I would automatically inherit the funds that remain in his 401k. However, I'm not old enough to access them without incurring a penalty for early withdrawal, since I'm 43. I couldn't access them until I was at least 55. Under this scenario, the basics would be covered, but I might feel the need to go back to work part time to earn some "fun money."


TMC, I know you are pretty knowledgeable on financial matters. I'm really not, but I have read that you can access 401(k) funds without penalty at any age by taking distributions in "substantially equal periodic payments" (this is referred to as the 72(t) exception). Are you familiar with this, and would it work in your situation?

For anyone else who is interested, this article has some basic information on retirement savings withdrawals:

http://www.retireearlyhomepage.com/wdraw59.html


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## mnn2501

Had a brother that went through this, with 2 SS checks coming in they were doing OK, they retired at 62, then a few years later his wife died, now he tries to survive on just one SS check and a small one at that because he retired early instead of waiting til 65 or even 67 to get a bigger monthly check (of course he also never saved a dime towards retirement cause he thought SS would take care of them). Something to think about.


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## TheMartianChick

Scott SW Ohio said:


> TMC, I know you are pretty knowledgeable on financial matters. I'm really not, but I have read that you can access 401(k) funds without penalty at any age by taking distributions in "substantially equal periodic payments" (this is referred to as the 72(t) exception). Are you familiar with this, and would it work in your situation?
> 
> For anyone else who is interested, this article has some basic information on retirement savings withdrawals:
> 
> http://www.retireearlyhomepage.com/wdraw59.html


Thanks for the compliment, Scott! Truthfully, I am familiar with the financial matters that I have personally encountered or counseled people about, but retirement is an entirely different ball game! 

I've been spending a lot of time researching these topics because (in some cases) you only get one chance to do it right. I will check out the link that you provided and see if it is a possible solution. My parents have been a wealth of information about SS, but their situation is different from ours since they are retired state employees with pensions.


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## Rosebud

My husband passed away Dec.15th 2013. He suffered from cancer for a year and a half. His illness wasn't a drain on our finances as we have excellent health insurance. I'll be fine financially for a few years. Our house, car and truck are paid for and no credit card bill. When the bills start increasing as we all know they will I'll have to maybe start dipping into our saving. I can live off my SS for now as I'm not a big spender anyway. Even though it only been 2 1/2 weeks I am so lonely. Family and friends are always trying to get me to go somewhere with them but I don't want to. I just want to be left alone. I miss him so much.


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## Scott SW Ohio

I'm awfully sorry for your loss, Rosebud. Your family and friends are trying their best to comfort you - it is a blessing that you have people who care so much, and I am sure they understand you need some time. It sounds as if you and your husband prepared yourself well financially so that at least you don't have to worry about money at this difficult time. I am trying my best to make sure my wife will be similarly secure if she someday faces this. Thank you for posting.


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## frogmammy

Rosebud said:


> ...Family and friends are always trying to get me to go somewhere with them but I don't want to. I just want to be left alone. I miss him so much.


Go with them, they loved him too, and are trying to ease your pain, AND theirs. They are honoring him.

Mon


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## farmerDale

When my dad died when I was 13, he never left my mom enough. He had minimal life insurance, and that hurt our family/farm in a big way. So at the age of 14, ( I am 37 now), I purchased a large life insurance policy for dirt cheap. Immediately upon getting married, I added to it more. Our land mortgage is life insured.

If I die, my wife will have 1500 acres of clear land to rent out. She will receive a large sum from life insurance. We have fairly substantial savings, because I learned early on, not to fritter away a loved ones financial life IF you leave them behind. 

If I were to die, my wife would be living the high life financially, until we meet again.

If my wife were to die first, financially things would be less of a boom for me, but I have land and a farm to operate. I would need help with child care at the busy times, but financially it would be no real change from now.

Technically, and I do not mean this in a negative way, but we as a family would be better off as I am a cheap beggar, and household furnishings, and so on would not be a priority any more. My kids boots would not be replaced unless they were worn away to nubbins. I am less careful than my sweet lady in that way, but we would spend less money, and be more uncomfortable. lol!

Bottom line is though, the financial thingy, while very important, is not gonna replace the one you love. It just makes life simpler for them if you are well prepared.

For those who have ill loved ones, who have lost loved ones, my sympathy is with you all. There can be nothing nearly so stressful, so heart tearing, so dreaded, as having your dear one die. I tear up sometimes if I think too hard about losing my sweet lady. She will be my only love, forever. And I am only 37, but I have historic reasons to think of it at this age, perhaps more than a typical 37 year old guy.

Regardless, I believe both of us are mutually worth more financially if the other dies, but that is little consolation for a deeply wounded heart. It just makes things easier to be ready...

Best wishes to everyone. This thread really caught my eye, having lived it when dad died, and trying to avoid troubles for when I or my precious one go someday.


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## TheMartianChick

I am so sorry for your loss, Rosebud. I know that this must be a difficult time for you. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers...


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## pattycake

Rosebud, I am so very, very sorry.


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## Mutti

We have always worked our budget so neither of us would be left in a pickle if one should die suddenly. Pa get $600 more SS a month than I do. So he pays the big monthly bills and I cover the household expenses. Yes, I'd be able to collect his eventually. With only 9 mos. to go on our farm mortgage we are seeing blessed freedom. Will be able to do some much needed repairs on fencing and such.

One thing that has helped us is having a separate checking account for household expenses. We put a certain amt. in monthly that covers our taxes, house and car insurance, and hay purchases or car repairs. When a bill comes we know the money will be there. It really makes living on a fixed income less stressful. As policies renew we review the amt we bank monthly and revise as needed. A good thing is living where property taxes are still the $350/yr we've been paying for over 15 years!!! Our wills. health directives are all in order. People....don't put off doing this important business. His SS easily pays all the bills but mine sure wouldn't. Which is a whole other deal...worked for 30 years as a nurse and he has been disabled for that long....yet he gets way more than me. Guess I should be grateful we still have SS!


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## GrannyG

I have tried to think ahead, invested in rental properties, so if anything happened to me, DH would be able to make it on his own.....


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## SimplerTimez

Rosebud said:


> My husband passed away Dec.15th 2013. He suffered from cancer for a year and a half. His illness wasn't a drain on our finances as we have excellent health insurance. I'll be fine financially for a few years. Our house, car and truck are paid for and no credit card bill. When the bills start increasing as we all know they will I'll have to maybe start dipping into our saving. I can live off my SS for now as I'm not a big spender anyway. Even though it only been 2 1/2 weeks I am so lonely. Family and friends are always trying to get me to go somewhere with them but I don't want to. I just want to be left alone. I miss him so much.


My deepest condolences. May you tread lightly on your path through grief.

{{{hugs}}}

~ST


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