# You ain't all that and a bag a chips



## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Years ago some Hasidic Jewish guy stopped me in the street to offer me books on jewish spirituality. I took a little pamphlet on finding love.

Although confusing and almost insulting at the time I read it I later came to appreciate this simple little bit of advice in the book: "Aim lower".

Sounds insulting, right? Well, the idea behind it was that we exaggerate our self importance. We have an unrealistic grandiose streak. We think we are better looking then we really are. We think we deserve more then our share in life. The idea is that if you aim lower you are actually going to hit your target dead center and find a mate that is on your level and with such find true happiness and compatibility in a marriage. By aiming lower you find a woman or man at your true level and not the exaggerated level we have falsely puffed ourselves up to be in our imaginations.

With that said, please pass the dip and the chips.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

I am all "that" and a box of twinkies.
So tell me what do you sacrifice when you aim lower? Conversation? Things in common? Attraction? Happiness?


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## Ardie/WI (May 10, 2002)

All I can say is that I aimed too low with my first two marriages. Then, I upped my standards!


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## Darren (May 10, 2002)

I don't view it as aiming lower. If you compare the appearance of super models with the woman next door, we're back to the frailty of human nature. Sure the models make plenty of money, but I don't see the appeal. I'll stop short of calling them freaks of nature, but the body type isn't appealing. We're being inundated by marketing.

I'm ****ed off by the constant marketing to ego or the feeling that we're not as good as we could be. A self-assured, intelligent woman beats show time every day. That is not aiming lower if I understand your thoughts. There are different types of beauty. We seem to get hung up on what we think will float our boat. Some of that is hard to get around.

As for deserving more. what many see as more is really less.


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## Darren (May 10, 2002)

Fowler said:


> I am all "that" and a box of twinkies.
> So tell me what do you sacrifice when you aim lower? Conversation? Things in common? Attraction? Happiness?


How old are the twinkies? It does explain a few things.


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## Jim-mi (May 15, 2002)

That was the last of the chips that you just mashed into your face.....

And I ain't gonna lower myself to go trudging through the snow to get more...

LOL

And just how much am I suppose to lower my already "decreased" standards . .??


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

They are fresh, moist, sweet and its cakeiness leaves your taste buds watering for more of their unwholesome goodness.....LOL


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

I don't know how to aim lower, or higher, for that matter. I don't see people for how they look and what they have. I prefer to view a person for their personality. But that's just me. :shrug:


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

And if they dont have a personality, its not gonna work, had to learn that lesson twice, I can be stubborn....LOL


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

Fowler said:


> They are fresh, moist, sweet and its cakeiness leaves your taste buds watering for more of their unwholesome goodness.....LOL



shewwww....that was the best sex i have had all year.....:viking:...roflmao


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

slurp slurp lol


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## doingitmyself (Jul 30, 2013)

While i am one heck of a rifleman, i got trophies and ribbons and stuff to show for the effort. I think i will be changing to a scatter gun in the new year. Less aiming and more filling the air with lead. Seems to work for duck and geese hunters!! Sooner or later something has to get hit!!!! LOLOLOL:bouncy:


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Jim-mi said:


> That was the last of the chips that you just mashed into your face.....
> 
> And I ain't gonna lower myself to go trudging through the snow to get more...
> 
> ...


Smashed into my own face?


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Fowler said:


> I am all "that" and a box of twinkies.
> So tell me what do you sacrifice when you aim lower? Conversation? Things in common? Attraction? Happiness?


You don't get it.


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## Jim-mi (May 15, 2002)

But if your shooting from a great distance the 'shot' will scatter and there could be unintended fallout... . . .


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

it is about having a reality check and pulling one's head out of their own butt.

Sort of like a saying we had back when I was skateboarder and we wiped out, "wake up and smell the concrete". Then there was a saying back when I use to BMX and me and other people would try to do a jump or a take a lead that we knew we could not handle but still did anyway and then eventually crashed, "eat dirt".


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

City Bound said:


> You don't get it.


Please, educate me on what I dont get.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Fowler said:


> Please, educate me on what I dont get.


 
No. Ether you get it or you don't. Your examples show that you don't get it. You took it as negative when it is actually a liberating positive.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Darren said:


> I don't view it as aiming lower. If you compare the appearance of super models with the woman next door, we're back to the frailty of human nature. Sure the models make plenty of money, but I don't see the appeal. I'll stop short of calling them freaks of nature, but the body type isn't appealing. We're being inundated by marketing.
> 
> I'm ****ed off by the constant marketing to ego or the feeling that we're not as good as we could be. A self-assured, intelligent woman beats show time every day. That is not aiming lower if I understand your thoughts. There are different types of beauty. We seem to get hung up on what we think will float our boat. Some of that is hard to get around.
> 
> As for deserving more. what many see as more is really less.


 
Very true Darren. That is a big part of the mental exercise to realize we are chasing after illusions that we can never attain. You gave good example of reality verse fantasy. True, we can get hung up on floating our boat while never realizing that when we pull our heads out of the clouds of fantasy that our boat has already sunk. Gurgle-gurgle, down to the murky dark waters and the oceans floor.


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## COSunflower (Dec 4, 2006)

I get it City Bound  and you're right! When I read all the big lists of "deal breakers" or "gotta have (or not have" traits etc. I just think to myself, "THAT'S why they can't find anyone themselves or no one is attracted to them." The bar is just too high and no one can reach it or even wants to attempt it. But maybe that is an EXCUSE for being single...some people enjoy their singledom even if they get lonely now and then, and don't REALLY want to give it up. My Bachelor Boyfriend has alot of traits that would probably turn some noses up but I can see the "diamond in the rough" and sure appreciate him for those wonderful qualities underneath the exterior stuff.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

This might help put it in perspective. I said this in another thread.

Don't aim too high and don't aim too low. That seems clear enough.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

City Bound said:


> it is about having a reality check and pulling one's head out of their own butt.
> 
> Sort of like a saying we had back when I was skateboarder and we wiped out, "wake up and smell the concrete". Then there was a saying back when I use to BMX and me and other people would try to do a jump or a take a lead that we knew we could not handle but still did anyway and then eventually crashed, "eat dirt".


I pulled my head out of my butt a long time ago, I have went from must have good looks and comparable incomes, to accepting no income, semi attractive, and share my humor, they all seem to adore me and later all have ended up being alcoholics, bi-polar, PTSD, needy or just bat crap crazy.

Seems to me I need to aim alot higher.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

City Bound said:


> No. Ether you get it or you don't. Your examples show that you don't get it. You took it as negative when it is actually a liberating positive.


I'm not 100% conveinced you do either, wernt you the one that stated you had a girlfriend you had nothing in common with, your words. "boring"

Let me know how that works out.


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

There is a difference between confidence, and arrogance.

Compromising on 'deal breakers' leaves one in a real bad situation.
Aiming 'low' is always closer to the bottom. 

No thanks.
Shoot for the moon, and if you miss? You are still among the stars.
Both, are up.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Fowler said:


> I'm not 100% conveinced you do either, wernt you the one that stated you had a girlfriend you had nothing in common with, your words. "boring"
> 
> Let me know how that works out.


It is actually working very well and we are both very happy.

I was just bored because I expected a lover to entertain me. Once I washed that junky thinking out of my head I realized how immature and stupid I was being and saw things much clearer. That is part of my point, having unrealistic expectations from a relationship like being entertained, happy all the time, turned on all the time, rich, or whatever other unrealistic fantasies we delude ourselves with prevent us fro having a real, mature, and happy relationship.

Sorry you seem to be so upset reading what I wrote in the OP. Don't shoot the messenger if you don't like the message. If the message does not speak to you then hold your ear out to hear a message that does. I am passing this message on for those who might hear it. it is a very liberating message for those like myself who need to hear it.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Laura Zone 5 said:


> There is a difference between confidence, and arrogance.
> 
> Compromising on 'deal breakers' leaves one in a real bad situation.
> Aiming 'low' is always closer to the bottom.
> ...


Got a space suit to live among the star once you fall in them? What about the deathly freezing cold of space and lack of water and food?

Like I said before:

Don't aim to high and don't aim to low. I said aim lower in the op not aim at the bottom of the barrel, big difference.


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

City Bound said:


> Got a space suit to live among the star once you fall in them? What about the deathly freezing cold of space and lack of water and food?
> 
> Like I said before:
> 
> Don't aim to high and don't aim to low. I said aim lower in the op not aim at the bottom of the barrel, big difference.


Life ain't disney....

And aiming low, is always closer to the bottom.
Some of us chose not to be bottom feeders.

DQ.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Laura Zone 5 said:


> Life ain't disney....
> 
> And aiming low, is always closer to the bottom.
> Some of us chose not to be bottom feeders.
> ...


What about aimer lower because it takes you closer to the center? Center is equal distance from top and bottom.


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

CB, I don't put stock in some little phamplet someone hands me on the street.

True, Judaism, um, they do not marry outside of their religion.
Understanding the culture, religion and customs makes the fact that someone is handing out "finding love" phamplets ridiculious at best.

If aiming low is working for you, great, happy for you.
But I find it a bit over the top to chastise those who chose to aim high.....
Or not agree with your phamplet epiffany.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Assumptions, assumptions, assumptions. Glad I am going to let that roll off my back.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Laura Zone 5 said:


> CB, I don't put stock in some little phamplet someone hands me on the street.
> 
> True, Judaism, um, they do not marry outside of their religion.
> Understanding the culture, religion and customs makes the fact that someone is handing out "finding love" phamplets ridiculious at best.
> ...


 
Not when he mistook me for a European jew and said "Hello you are jewish, I have some pamphlets for you to look at" I did not tell him till the end that I was not a jew and then said I would take the love pamphlet. He said he would have given me the book for free if I was a jew but since I was not he asked for a dollar.

I am not chastising anyone. 

What if the message came from a Christian pamphlet being handed out on the street?

I have heard the same message conveyed in Christian books on finding love. The idea is to humble yourself.


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

I dunno; I believe that, if you aim too low, you'll get exactly what you deserve for aiming that-a-way. That said, I truly don't believe my standards are set too high! I do NOT seek a tall, handsome model-type with tons of $$$$. Are my standards set too high if dare say I'd like to share my life with someone who is near my age, healthy, and compatible? I think not!


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

LMBO!!!! @ Lauraound::hysterical:ound::hysterical:


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

Humility is not true humility when you throw discernment out the window, and go with your 'feelings and emotions'.

That's Disney.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Laura Zone 5 said:


> Humility is not true humility when you throw discernment out the window, and go with your 'feelings and emotions'.
> 
> That's Disney.


And this is what you think my idea of humility is?


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

Ikr!!!!!


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

Fowler said:


> I'm happy for you CB that you lowered your expectations, I'm sure she is real pretty to look at. And does not mind living in a dirt hut.
> 
> But most people (me) are not looking for entertainment, I entertain myself. I want acceptance, soul bounding, peace, happiness, togetherness, sharing, teamwork, mutual support, and unconditional love. Maybe I am aiming to high when men like you were looking for just entertainment.



tis better to fly high in the clouds with dreams and high hopes alone than crawl the gutters with a boat anchor.

keep flappin them wings lady....:angel:


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

Well, *I* aim high! I aim for someone just like our beloved Elkhound!


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

Fowler said:


> Please, educate me on what I dont get.


I am pretty sure she does get it. Many of us have been telling you for a while that you have extremely high expectations as far as everything you want a woman to be, as well as what you think the "perfect" relationship would be

Seriously, stop thinking about it. When you find the right woman you will know. You won't have to ask for others' advice and you certainly won't feel as though you have "stepped down".


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

So I told my daughter last night it would be HILARIOUS if she bought 1 share of stock in Midol to give to her gf that never ever stops complaining and stirring up drama.


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

nehimama said:


> Well, *I* aim high! I aim for someone just like our beloved Elkhound!



i aint nothing....i am just a man with many flaws...but i think i am about to get infraction points and yall can see another side of me.


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

Nothing like a little ST holiday cheer....ho ho ho!!!! :catfight:


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

elkound has menastration or manapause.....lol 

i better stop angies going to kill me as it is.


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## okiemom (May 12, 2002)

my Dad once told me that marriage is a business and One should marry someone that you can do business with. I used to think that was so cold and unromantic. very 
un-Disney. I did marry someone like that and we have been successful and happy. 

I don't think that "lowering" is the right word. Maybe finding the real qualities in a mate that can be stood and not just what media and friends tells us we should want. Life is not Disney and there are no writers in the back making sure everyone says what they should. 

May get marries due to incorrect values that we place on others. the outside is just a shell and what is inside matters the most. if two people are in a canoe and they don't paddle in sync the canoe goes in a circle getting nowhere. marriage is a partnership ie a business.. the business of life.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

shanzone2001 said:


> That comment is why many Christians don't feel comfortable saying they are Christians....there is no perfect perfect person, only Christ. We can only attempt to be. Unfortunately, some non-Christians sure love to throw that in our faces!


 
Maybe because there are a good amount of Christians who are two faced.


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

Well, I most certainly AM all that and a bag of chips. Actually, I am worth several bags of chips!

And for the record, people of ALL faiths can be 2-faced. Come on!


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

But,,,I kinda like my chips,,,with a dip,,,,.....


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

L.A. said:


> But,,,I kinda like my chips,,,with a dip,,,,.....


Please refer to post 32 sir....LOL!!!


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## Darren (May 10, 2002)

Fowler said:


> Is this a form of social suicide?


 This is getting way too deep. Can we get back to the twinkies?


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

Fowler, are you saying Laura's a dip?! :shocked:


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Darren said:


> This is getting way too deep. Can we get back to the twinkies?


Just cant get enough of that creamy center can you?....LOL


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

Hehe,,,hehe,,,,,sheep dip,,,,,


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Terri in WV said:


> Fowler, are you saying Laura's a dip?! :shocked:


Nevermind...pot stirrer...LOL!!


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

I like to dip....wait, not that kind.
Fowler likes to skinny dip, does that count???


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

L.A. said:


> Hehe,,,hehe,,,,,sheep dip,,,,,


sheep dip...ound:


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## Twp.Tom (Dec 29, 2010)

If your not careful with eatin' twinkies,they can get all over your lips, face,nose,then ya' got a yummy mess:icecream:


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## Darren (May 10, 2002)

Fowler said:


> Just cant get enough of that creamy center can you?....LOL


 Are we still talking about twinkies?


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

shanzone2001 said:


> I like to dip....wait, not that kind.
> Fowler likes to skinny dip, does that count???


Hold the skinny...LOL I think a size 10 is plump dumpling.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

I adore you all. I am cracking up!!!!


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## Twp.Tom (Dec 29, 2010)

Dumplings are my favorite*,How did ya know- You really shouldn't have*:bouncy:


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

Is this all it's "cracked up" to be?????


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## Twp.Tom (Dec 29, 2010)

the idea behind it was that we exaggerate our self importance. We have an unrealistic grandiose streak. We think we are better looking then we really are. We think we deserve more then our share in life. The idea is that if you aim lower you are actually going to hit your target dead center and find a mate that is on your level and with such find true happiness and compatibility The thing is,I am really important,and I do deserve the best. Just think if we all set our standards in the middle?,we would have a very mediocre society. I think we should All,strive to find the best in Ourselves,and Others. And we must try and Love our fellow Woman/Man.:benice:


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

Hey CB,,,,,This turning out as you hoped it would,,???


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

When you aim low, you get low.
When you aim high, you get high (NO, Fowler, not THAT kind of high!)


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

I was trying to aim lower, cause I got high. 
I lowered my expectations, cause I was high.

Now I'm serving sheep dip, and twinkies...because I"m high!!


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

For the record, there are some pretty amazing bags of chips around here, and a few dips as well!!!


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

shanzone2001 said:


> For the record, there are some pretty amazing bags of chips around here, and a few dips as well!!!


Okay,,,,,So who's the amazing old bag,????,,,UhOh,,:runforhills:


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

L.A. said:


> Okay,,,,,So who's the old bag,????,,,UhOh,,:runforhills:


You're in trouble now :nono:


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## Ozarks Tom (May 27, 2011)

You'll never convince my wife I aimed low, or me either.

A friend told me: "When I was a young my ambition was to sell my body to some beautiful woman. These days I'd take a bad check".


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## davel745 (Feb 2, 2009)

Maybe it is something like "been down so long it seems like up to me"


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

The subject is a continuous rerun as the people who don't qualify on our lists squall, "Aim lower!" "Aim Lower" is for those who prefer any relationship over none.

Nope, my list is right on target for me and I certainly haven't exhausted the available possibilities. I may not be All That and a Bag of Chips too YOU, but I am to the right happy man and he will be all that to me. Neither of us will feel we aimed low and settled. There's an inherent lack of respect in that thinking.


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

L.A. said:


> Okay,,,,,So who's the amazing old bag,????,,,UhOh,,:runforhills:


PICK ME PICK ME!!
Will you eat twinkies on a deep ship?
Will you will you Sam I am?


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

Terri in WV said:


> Fowler, are you saying Laura's a dip?! :shocked:


Yes, that silky smooth creamy dip that you find yourself doing whatever it takes to get every little bite.........:teehee:


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Laura said:


> The subject is a continuous rerun as the people who don't qualify on our lists squall, "Aim lower!" "Aim Lower" is for those who prefer any relationship over none.
> 
> Nope, my list is right on target for me and I certainly haven't exhausted the available possibilities. I may not be All That and a Bag of Chips too YOU, but I am to the right happy man and he will be all that to me. Neither of us will feel we aimed low and settled. There's an inherent lack of respect in that thinking.


:goodjob: that's it exactly, thank you Laura


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Laura Zone 5 said:


> PICK ME PICK ME!!
> Will you eat twinkies on a deep ship?
> Will you will you Sam I am?


Careful I heard he kisses girls and makes them cry...LOL :gossip:


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

Tears of joy or tears for fears.....
La La La La La La La La La La La......

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NYx8IHJ9dWE[/ame]


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

Laura Zone 5 said:


> Tears of joy or tears for fears.....
> La La La La La La La La La La La......



:kissy:

There now,,You decide,,,,,,


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

L.A. said:


> Hey CB,,,,,This turning out as you hoped it would,,???


it is turning out how others hoped it would.


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

Fowler said:


> They are fresh, moist, sweet and its cakeiness leaves your taste buds watering for more of their unwholesome goodness.....LOL





elkhound said:


> shewwww....that was the best sex i have had all year.....:viking:...roflmao


ound:ound::rotfl::trollface



Fowler said:


> ...I entertain myself. I want...entertainment.


With twinkies? Better than a mud puddle, hey elk?



Laura Zone 5 said:


> Entertain me.
> Feed...Oh and do all these things, all the time and don't expect one thing in return...While your at it...If I want to stay out late... SO EASY!!!


Bitter...so bitter. Sad face here.



nehimama said:


> Well, *I* aim high! I aim for someone just like our beloved Elkhound!


Me too nehi--Wait...oh you said aim. Nevermind:ashamed:



elkhound said:


> shewwww....that was the best sex i have had all year.....:viking:...roflmao


ound:ound::rotfl:
You're killing me elk!


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

L.A. said:


> Okay,,,,,So who's the amazing old bag,????,,,UhOh,,:runforhills:


Me, for one! I'm pretty amazing . . . . for an old bag - LOL!


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

City Bound said:


> And you are saying I am one of those people?


Ummm. . . . probably. . . . ​


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

It's not about lowering the expectations you have of others. That would be compromising your value system. And that usually leads to others devaluing you. Not good.

It's about humbly and _honestly_ assessing what you bring to the clam bake. Remember the catch phrase "the ME generation?" This society is still very much entrenched in that mindset. IMO that's one of the main deterrents to a land full of happy, well adjusted, "makin' love in the twinkies" couples.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

TeeHee you said clam bake.....LOL!!


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

Wow! This thread is gettin' some air time! 7 members and 10 guests tuned in!


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

It isn't being conceited to be confident. Huge difference.
Confident is attractive.
There is nothing wrong with thinking you are wonderful and then choosing to be with someone who feels the same about you!!!


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

shanzone2001 said:


> It isn't being conceited to be confident. Huge difference.
> Confident is attractive.
> There is nothing wrong with thinking you are wonderful and then choosing to be with someone who feels the same about you!!!


I'd be conceited,,if I had something to be conceited about,,,,,Guess I'll stick with confident,,,and smile alot,,,


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

If you all that and whatever, go walk up to bill gates and win his affections. Go seduce Richard Gear or Clooney.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

City Bound said:


> If you all that and whatever, go walk up to bill gates and win his affections. Go seduce Richard Gear or Clooney.


 They don't qualify per my list either.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Fowler said:


> Wholly uncalled for! CB your stinger is showing and its ugly!!


Not even nearly as ugly as all the stinging people have been giving me in this tread and all of which was wholly uncalled for. Folks drew first blood. I am just dishing back an 8th of the venom coming my way.

I came in peace and in return I was given friction.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Laura said:


> They don't qualify per my list either.


Sounds like no one is good enough for you. 

Clooney is actually and alright person.


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

Yep,,,,Slow down a bit CB,,,,,Can't ya see the humor in all this ?????

Nobody wants to hurt your or anyone s feelings.


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## viggie (Jul 17, 2009)

nehimama said:


> Wow! This thread is gettin' some air time! 7 members and 10 guests tuned in!



I keep checking in because I'm afraid it'll go poof before I see what happens. It's part rubbernecking and part determining people's character.


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## GrammaBarb (Dec 27, 2012)

Hi Folks,

Just dropped in from the "what can women do?" thread.....wow. Frying pan right smack dab into the fire...I'm batting 1000!

What is all this about levels and space and being on or not being on someone's list or settling et al?


"Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to......conceive!"

Like it or not, we all have standards. My personal one is smoking. OK, and walking downtown with a spoon and eating mayo right out of the jar....that's just as gross.....

It seems to me that the issue is that one of us is attempting to impose that person's new-found perspective on the rest of us, while we all are really just running through life, rather like a blind dog in a butcher shop. 

My suggestion? In the vernacular of the children. "Chill". There are none of us qualifying as Venus or Zeus here, we are simply human beings, with all of the usual warts and brilliance and delightful quirkiness that sometimes fools us into thinking we have found solutions. 

I hope the Universe has another "just right" guy out there, but if not, I at least had 13 wonderful years with him, and I'm grateful. We'll see what the next 13 years bring......

Barb----not looking up or down, just straight ahead.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

viggie said:


> I keep checking in because I'm afraid it'll go poof before I see what happens. It's part rubbernecking and part determining people's character.


 
The poof is coming tonight when the mods come on so enjoy it while it lasts.

It really is not that bad though.


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## Darren (May 10, 2002)

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tqxzWdKKu8"][YOUTUBE]1tqxzWdKKu8[/YOUTUBE][/ame]


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Was it a personal dig? you have been saying for years that you have wanted to live in a dirt hut. If you took it personally then am I to presume that it's not true?


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Fowler said:


> Was it a personal dig? you have been saying for years that you have wanted to live in a dirt hut. If you took it personally then am I to presume that it's not true?


You know the way you meant it.


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

Why would this thread go poof? Perhaps it is just wishful thinking for some who love policing ST.
I think there are a couple of folks here who enjoy watching threads go poof....just sayin!


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

viggie said:


> I keep checking in because I'm afraid it'll go poof before I see what happens. It's part rubbernecking and part determining people's character.


I find it interesting that people think they can determine a person's character from posts on an internet forum.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

City Bound said:


> You know the way you meant it.


 
Like when you said that "I dont get it and wont"?

Hmmm.....sounds double standard to me. But what do I know per you.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Laura said:


> .
> 
> Get a Life and spin again.


 
ROTF....I spewed my tea through my nose....


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

Fowler said:


> ROTF....I spewed my tea through my nose....



you get 3 plus points and a bonus spin if your eyes didnt water and turn red...lol


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## viggie (Jul 17, 2009)

shanzone2001 said:


> I find it interesting that people think they can determine a person's character from posts on an internet forum.


I believe you can learn some pretty important stuff by by watching the way someone approaches a disagreement. We all have them. It's how we handle them that matters.


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

Hey, I want some Elk points!!!!! :awh:


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

How many points to get the Bag of Chips? I have the munchies.


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

I'll bring dip!


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

viggie said:


> I believe you can learn some pretty important stuff by by watching the way someone approaches a disagreement. We all have them. It's how we handle them that matters.


To an extent. For many people, posting on an internet forum is a false sense of security, kind-of like "liquid courage." 
You can't truly understand the intention of someone's words without seeing their facial expressions, body language, etc.
I would just be careful about making a rash judgement, good or bad. They say you don't really know what is going on in someone's life...especially from behind a computer screen.


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

Laura Zone 5 said:


> I'll bring dip!


Is that your date's name?????? Bwahahaha!!! :kiss:


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

My aim is to be the best me I can be and trying to keep my heart and mind open to the possibilities.


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## tambo (Mar 28, 2003)

Fowler said:


> I'm happy for you CB that you lowered your expectations, I'm sure she is real pretty to look at. And does not mind living in a dirt hut.
> 
> But most people (me) are not looking for entertainment, I entertain myself. I want acceptance, soul bounding, peace, happiness, togetherness, sharing, teamwork, mutual support, and unconditional love. Maybe I am aiming to high when *men like you were looking for just entertainment*.


I'm glad to see you write this!!


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

shanzone2001 said:


> Hey, I want some Elk points!!!!! :awh:



you get something better than points....stand in the corner or put ya nose in the circle on the black board....you choose....:gaptooth::angel:


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## tambo (Mar 28, 2003)

My experience at aiming low has always been shooting in the dirt. So no that doesn't work for me. I like to aim high myself.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

tambo said:


> My experience at aiming low has always been shooting in the dirt. So no that doesn't work for me. I like to aim high myself.


 I've seen the pics of you with your Trophy Bucks. Your aim is dead on. Why waste ammo taking chancy shots at culls and scare the big deer away?


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## tambo (Mar 28, 2003)

I had a great one in my sights one time but he is/was to far out of range. No ones got him yet because I still get to enjoy his presences from long distance!!


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Ya know, for way to many years I aimed low, way to low. Now I am taking some time out to find out what is really important to me. Once I am on my land then I will go back into market mode. But for now, I have a lot of work on my inner self before I can aim for any thing. 

And when it comes time to aim, I am not planning on being in control, I am letting God be the one to do the choosing.


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

> Bitter...so bitter. Sad face here.


No bitter, silly, just a little tongue in cheek zinging!
So turn that frown upside down and smile smile smile!!


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## catspjamas (Jul 14, 2013)

My aim is to be in a relationship with someone, where we are both putting the other person before ourselves.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

OMG!! Double stuffed oreo's we must be soulmates!!! LMBO!!


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## catspjamas (Jul 14, 2013)

Oreos make me sick. It's from eating a whole bag at one sitting when I was 12. Haven't touched an oreo since then. Not even cookie's n cream ice cream.


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## catspjamas (Jul 14, 2013)

http://grist.org/list/this-is-what-a-37-year-old-twinkie-looks-like/

I wonder how old the twinkie is in twinkie years.


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## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

what's this stuff about judging people with a rating...Namaste, taste the rainbow


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

wyld thang said:


> what's this stuff about judging people with a rating...Namaste, taste the rainbow


Oh, you know I judged you LONG ago...and I find you to be utterly fabulous!!!! :rock: 
(Even though you talked trash about my special vacuum cleaner!!!)


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

wyld thang said:


> what's this stuff about judging people with a rating...Namaste, taste the rainbow



league of extraordinary women .....


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

Laura Zone 5 said:


> I'll bring dip!


Who's that? A new member?


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

sustainabilly said:


> Who's that? A new member?


Does a duel personality count?


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

Only two? Been cutting back, huh?


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

Gave the others up for Lent.


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

Just as well. Probably helps on your wardrobe costs too.


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## lonelytree (Feb 28, 2008)

Fowler said:


> *I pulled my head out of my butt a long time ago*, I have went from must have good looks and comparable incomes, to accepting no income, semi attractive, and share my humor, they all seem to adore me and later all have ended up being alcoholics, bi-polar, PTSD, needy or just bat crap crazy.
> 
> Seems to me I need to aim alot higher.


If I did that it would shatter windows for miles around!


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

viggie said:


> I believe you can learn some pretty important stuff by by watching the way someone approaches a disagreement. We all have them. It's how we handle them that matters.


Depends who they are disagreeing with. The more the two people regard each other the more civil the disagreement.


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

Fowler said:


> I pulled my head out of my butt a long time ago, I have went from must have good looks and comparable incomes, to accepting no income, semi attractive, and share my humor, they all seem to adore me and later all have ended up being alcoholics, bi-polar, PTSD, needy or just bat crap crazy.
> 
> Seems to me I need to aim alot higher.[/QUOTE
> 
> I am NOT bat crap crazy!:banana::yuck:


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Sounds like billy has a crush.


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

On Fowler? Heck, she's a big flirt--err, I'm mean a reeaally nice gurl. 'Sides, you probably had to sign the same non-disclosure agreement she made me sign...after she let me out of the cellar.


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## RubyRed (Sep 24, 2011)

I may be off the mark with the original point of this thread, but, I will take my chance. 

I gathered from the OP, that it isn't so much of lowering ones standards, rather it be more truthful in advertisement, and being honest with yourself? 

I love my best friend to death! She has literally been my rock and should have walked away a couple of times during my "crisis". Trust me, if I had the choice, I would have!! LOL 

Although I see her for who she is, the most beautiful person, inside and out, in this world...men see her differently, most of them anyway. She has an extreme outwardly, gregarious personality, which can scare some off. One of her biggest faults is that she tries to make EVERYONE happy. She gets easily taken advantage of, her heart gets broke so many times. 

One of the reasons is; she insists on going after men that do not fit her, physically, emotionally and financially, she is 54 years old. She has an odd body figure, an extreme pear shape. It is her genetics, even if she would lose weight, her shape will always be that. Her bottom is in no way proportional, and she is aware of this. BUT. (pun on words) She wanted a much younger man, in his 30 - 40's, with a healthy sexual appetite, built like a Chippendale, full head of hair, facial hair and rich. 

Needless to say, she kept getting turned down by these types of men. Then she went the opposite way, and dated men that were total losers, no job, drunks, and the list goes on...but, they still had a full head of hair, a strong desire for the bedroom, facial hair. However, being the co-dependent that she is. She found herself supporting them, more heart ache, she wanted to be loved. 

Then, finally, she decides to look at men that don't fit her strict criteria. someone that would be more comparable to her. She is now dating a very nice man that is balding, very gray, much older, does have some facial hair however, a bit "plump" and he treats her like a queen!! He is self sustaining and goal motivated. She is happy. And knowing that my best friend is, make me happy too!!!


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

ruby, you get it. Thank you.


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## catspjamas (Jul 14, 2013)

City Bound said:


> Depends who they are disagreeing with. The more the two people regard each other the more civil the disagreement.


Or their affection for each other causes them to squabble like family.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

catspjamas said:


> Or their affection for each other causes them to squabble like family.


In my opinion true affection seeks harmony and peace.


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## catspjamas (Jul 14, 2013)

City Bound said:


> In my opinion true affection seeks harmony and peace.


That still doesn't eliminate squabbles. A co-worker and I would get into a disagreement, and the vet would come in and tell us that we argued like sisters. We weren't in a heated argument, just a squabble, and we still liked each other. It really isn't possible to live in harmony and peace all the time, unless you live alone.


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## SimplerTimez (Jan 20, 2008)

catspjamas said:


> <snip> It really isn't possible to live in harmony and peace all the time, unless you live alone.


I hear tell chloroform hankies and a nice basement takes care of all that peace and harmony stuff :shocked:

~ST :run:


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## viggie (Jul 17, 2009)

shanzone2001 said:


> To an extent. For many people, posting on an internet forum is a false sense of security, kind-of like "liquid courage."
> 
> You can't truly understand the intention of someone's words without seeing their facial expressions, body language, etc.
> 
> I would just be careful about making a rash judgement, good or bad. They say you don't really know what is going on in someone's life...especially from behind a computer screen.



In a place like this where we've all known each other for many years, it's certainly not rash. It's real people having real interactions and really getting to know each other. Through the years, the people I have met from facebook and other forums that I've known this long have all been exactly who they seemed on the screen. I don't see why the people here would be the exception. Especially considering how many meet, marry, and make such good friends here.

I think sometimes there's a disconnect and we need to step back and remember the "real people" part of our forum usage.


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## willow_girl (Dec 7, 2002)

Ardie/WI said:


> All I can say is that I aimed too low with my first two marriages. Then, I upped my standards!


I upped my standards ... so up yours! ound:


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

catspjamas said:


> That still doesn't eliminate squabbles. A co-worker and I would get into a disagreement, and the vet would come in and tell us that we argued like sisters. We weren't in a heated argument, just a squabble, and we still liked each other. It really isn't possible to live in harmony and peace all the time, unless you live alone.


The more compatible two people are the less strife and friction between them. Suitable mates are of similar and compatible natures. Unsuitable mates are too unalike and clash and repel one another.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

viggie said:


> I think sometimes there's a disconnect and we need to step back and remember the "real people" part of our forum usage.


Very true. Good point. Also though, the "real people" part of the forum is the exact reason why some of us clash and fight. It is also the reason some of us have longstanding friction with others here and also why some people here are longstanding mutual enemies.

Keeping it real goes ether way, pleasant or unpleasant depending on the chemistry.


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

I rather like my enemies, if I don't like a person there is a dang good reason for it. I would rather love someone for who they are, but if you cross that line I am starting to take notes. 

I saw this on FB yesterday and decided to keep it. Made a lot of sense and I need all the help I can get in the love dept or healthy relationship dept. 

http://markmanson.net/6-toxic-habits


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

viggie said:


> In a place like this where we've all known each other for many years, it's certainly not rash


I have been on this forum for several years and can honestly say I only "know" a few of the folks here. We have become friends outside of ST.
I don't call just anyone friend.


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Which is why I am glad we are friends Shan, you truly are a awesome person, even when the little girls are trying to steal your candy canes, lol.


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## viggie (Jul 17, 2009)

That's fair. But I wasn't talking about friends. Someone doesn't have to be your bff in order to be treated well. Everyone deserves that. A bit of kindness and common courtesy for our fellow community members is all I was aiming at.


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

cindilu said:


> Which is why I am glad we are friends Shan, you truly are a awesome person, even when the little girls are trying to steal your candy canes, lol.


Hehe! Right back atcha'!!!:buds:


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

viggie said:


> That's fair. But I wasn't talking about friends. Someone doesn't have to be your bff in order to be treated well. Everyone deserves that. A bit of kindness and common courtesy for our fellow community members is all I was aiming at.


No, you made the comment that those of us who have been on this forum for years know each other and I am simply disagreeing with you. I am not being mean.


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## viggie (Jul 17, 2009)

shanzone2001 said:


> No, you made the comment that those of us who have been on this forum for years know each other and I am simply disagreeing with you. I am not being mean.



Oh dear, I wasn't trying to say that you were mean. But I have learned quite a lot about everyone from their posts, even if we aren't close friends. They were generalized statements in response to the question of determining character from forum posts and how 5 years of watching how people treat each other is not hasty judgement.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

shanzone2001 said:


> No, you made the comment that those of us who have been on this forum for years know each other and I am simply disagreeing with you. I am not being mean.


Well, I think it is safe to say that most of us are at least acquainted and for the most part introduced and mingled, or would you disagree?

You do not have to be friends to be acquaintances. Friendship is much more intimate then acquaintanceships, but an acquaintance is more friend then stranger in the spectrum, would you agree?


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

Yes, I agree, however, to say you know someone based on their posts is a stretch. You may something about them, but to really know someone you need to extend beyond casual interactions on a forum.


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## catspjamas (Jul 14, 2013)

City Bound said:


> The more compatible two people are the less strife and friction between them. Suitable mates are of similar and compatible natures. Unsuitable mates are too unalike and clash and repel one another.


You must have a different definition of squabble than I do. Squabbling has nothing to do with strife and fiction. Strife and friction lead to arguments (which even compatible people have). Squabbling is usually over something petty, doesn't involve harsh words or feelings. I can't describe it, but when I see it, it usually is humorous to hear what is being said. Maybe its a southern thing.


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

willow_girl said:


> i upped my standards ... So up yours! ound:


you make me smile!!!:grin:


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## viggie (Jul 17, 2009)

shanzone2001 said:


> Yes, I agree, however, to say you know someone based on their posts is a stretch. You may something about them, but to really know someone you need to extend beyond casual interactions on a forum.


Yes, it had seemed we'd covered that. I know you, and like the other regulars here, I've gotten a feel for your character based on how you have interacted with people through the years and moral/ethical stances that have been shared. But I'm not inferring to know you intimately to any level which seems to be the offense. 

Too many cases of people meaning the same things in this thread but the wordings playing games on them.


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## Jim-mi (May 15, 2002)

Careful how you use that term . . . "Up yours" . . . . . . . . . .LOL


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