# Mindset of a homemakers from an earlier time



## Aimee529 (Apr 30, 2008)

I wasn't sure where to post this, but I was wanting to know how do I learn what and how to adopt a mindset more similar to my great-grandmother's or perhaps even an Amish homemaker? I have learned many skills over the last several years that have been of great benefit on our small suburban homestead, but I am recognizing that our family has become quite divergent from society........ And it is causing me great stress trying to live in two worlds (current modern culture vs. Growing/butchering our own meat, homeschooling, etc etc). But, it has also occurred to me that I don't know how women used to do or even conceptualize their job. Does that make sense? Perhaps I need to read some books to help immerse me in that mindset better?!?!? Thanks!


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## AngieM2 (May 10, 2002)

I have moved this from an area to here for help.

It was in Homemaking Admin forum, and that isn't a conversation area, and I know this group can help with this question.

So, please be helpful to this member.


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## thestartupman (Jul 25, 2010)

Hi, I am not a woman, but I can tell you one thing that will give you a much better perspective on how life might have been for your grandmother. I would recommend turning off the TV for a week or two. I tried this myself this past summer. I can say it truly opened my eyes to many things. It is truly amazing how much time is waisted in front of a TV. I still watch TV now, but I try to stay away from the mindless TVwatching.


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

just keep unplugging from the matrix.....keep flushing good clean living and independent thought patterns across your mind...we all have been brainwashed into a modern unsustainable consumerist lifestyle.


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## Whisperwindkat (May 28, 2009)

This way of life was the norm when our great-grandparents were alive. Women got together to do the summer canning, families all worked together to get the hogs butchered in the fall. I remember my granddaddy talking about the big get togethers . when the hogs were butchered and how much fun they had even though everyone was working hard. It isn't like that now. If you plan on living this way then you have to reach a level of acceptance that you are no longer "normal" and that society in general won't be interested in your way of life. If it is important enough to you then you simply learn which friends are into what you do (they ask questions about the farm and the garden etc.) and which friends think you are a little wonky but like you anyway (they don't ask questions about the farm and get those funny looks on their faces when you decline a playdate because you have to can 10 bushels of tomatoes before they go bad). I listen politely at church when the other women talk about how boring their weeks were, the amount of homework their kids bring home from school, the bad lunch they had at such and such place, and the latest sale going on at wherever clothing store. But I don't try to be them and I don't try to force my choice of lifestyle on them. I live in my world, the homekeeping, homesteading and homeschooling one...with occasional forays into the other world for short moments of time. Are you trying to actually participate in both cultures and "live" in both worlds? Or is it that you feel like you don't have anything in common with anyone in modern culture? Even though we are vastly different we have lots in common with other friends who live in town and don't do things the way we do. Blessings, Kat


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## Whisperwindkat (May 28, 2009)

thestartupman said:


> Hi, I am not a woman, but I can tell you one thing that will give you a much better perspective on how life might have been for your grandmother. I would recommend turning off the TV for a week or two. I tried this myself this past summer. I can say it truly opened my eyes to many things. It is truly amazing how much time is waisted in front of a TV. I still watch TV now, but I try to stay away from the mindless TVwatching.


 This is absolutely true. I hate television and rarely watch. We have a time limit on tv here and one day a week the tv is not allowed to come on, except when the family (all of us together) want to play a game on the wii.


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

[YOUTUBE]pEq0xko804Q[/YOUTUBE]


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

[YOUTUBE]cbW_M_b2lWs[/YOUTUBE]


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## sand flea (Sep 1, 2013)

Rule number one: is that "Mom" was the pivot-point of the family... she made and enforced the rules (with Dad for backup), she managed the finances by stretching a dollar till it squeeked, and she was the baker, seamstress/laundress, tutor and minister to all forms of experience of life and it's ups and downs. She took very good care of Dad, because he was bringing home the bacon for her to feed people with.

"Mom" didn't need fulfillment outside of that role. She got her self-esteem, warm fuzzies, and sense of accomplishment from being inseparable from that role. "Mom" had to be the epitome of jack of all trades and have a renaissance collection of knowledge and skills - healer, educator, farmer... plumber... spiritual guidance...

I know what you mean, about trying to live in two worlds. I run into that a lot, because all my life... I've been "mom"... but I also ventured out and worked alongside and competed with men in some of their traditional realms of dominance. My "momming" days are mostly done - adult children still need a good kick in the butt, or their heads removed from the same general orifice, once in a while. But, now I'm free to explore more things that I actually like to do... mechanical tinkering and making things, shooting sports, martial arts, business and finance. I even spent a year reading about neurospychology just coz it was interesting...

Not a whole lot of women sitting around talking about those things!! But, I do think that the pioneer women simply took those things for granted as part of their lives: they split wood, built cabins, plowed and harvested, and defended the family right along their husbands and brothers... so the long skirts evolved into riding skirts and Annie Oakley was a better shot than a lot of guys.

I don't think there's anything abnormal about me -- anymore. I feel a little sorry for the women who think shopping and mani-pedi's are going to "change their lives". And I still do all the traditional woman things -- I haven't given any of that up -- so I am NEVER bored. There is always something to learn, do, make.

And yes, there's a whole lot of women around the world like this. Sometimes they just try to blend in with the other ones... because they're self-conscious about that "two worlds" feeling too. Don't let the silly popular culture images fool you... you are way more fulfilled and happier - you aren't missing a THING that has any real value.

And yes, even us old broads who have "been there, done that" can have our princess moments - before we get back to work! LOL...

rincess:


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## where I want to (Oct 28, 2008)

What impressed me about my elder female relatives was that they considered housekeeping a job like anyone else's. They had standards and schedules and duties that had to be done in order to create a good home life for husband and children. They did not respect a woman who let their family appear in dirty or torn clothes for instance. Could be old clothes but clean and mended.
And they were hard in their judgements of woman who did not meet their standards.


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## sherry in Maine (Nov 22, 2007)

elk, thanks for telling us about those things....I had to change my password to subscribe to those videos because I rarely use google password.
I agree with what she says.
I dont have the desire or energy to be the grain grower (plus I am always learning more about growing food in a place like Maine....lived in Va. and Md. for 18 years, and growing food there was easy, compared to here.) the cow raiser, etc etc....I do have interest in eating 'real food' and raising some of my food (chickens, used to do rabbits when kid raised them for showing)I have chickens for eggs only, they're not meat birds... but I do buy local meat- beef/pork and a lamb (boy expensive, but good!) and this spring I am hoping to raise some broilers or maybe cornish crosses that I and my friend can put in our freezers 3 or 4 months after that. 
Right now, I buy chickens really cheap (who knows how they were raised? or fed?) and feed us and my dogs with that and other cheap dog quality meat..... Would love to raise 'dog food', and I do give them the roosters I dispatch, but it's not very much. With 7 dogs, I dont think I could raise enough food to keep them fed all year.
I dont have tv either. I am thinking of buying one (been considering for a couple years) ....got rid of it a few years ago - didn't want to pay cable bill, since most programming stunk/mindless. My youngest has anxiety issues as well, and she was hell on wheels, until I realized that idiot box TV and gameboy were part of the problems...got rid of those two things (felt like a horrible mommy) and her anxieties are much much better, and she has better focus, too...seems more content without the repetetive yammering of pbs or nickolodean yelling/shouting etc...
I am getting a tv (if I do) to watch a football game as a family. Or ocasionally to see a family movie. None of us can sit still very long to watch it; but sometimes I'd love to sit, and see a good movie with value ( or no value....just for fun)It certainly wont be on all day or even most days. (weather, since my friend is a landscaper in the growing season) Those are good videos, thanks!
And yes, turning off tv is a good step.
I said in another post elsewhere, that someone took my youngest to the store to see 'what she wanted for Christmas' ....they returned, and I was told 'she doesn't seem to want anything'..... She wants stuff, but it's not tied to tv advertising......


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## AprilM (Jul 23, 2008)

It can be lonely in this modern world, but you have to live according to your values and principles. The key is to use the skills you have obtained to maintain your household on a daily basis. Incorporate then in to your routine. Think about tasks seasonally. We only sew, quilt, and spin in the winter when the summer gardening and fall butchering are done. We see value in the work and we shy away from running our kids all over and participatin in lots of activities because our focus is being at home.


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## Terri (May 10, 2002)

I am 58, and this is what I remember from my parents generation. They were, by the way, the generation born during the great depression.

You focused in TIGHT on running the household. If you had any spare time you tried to be an artist around the house. That might mean doing something pretty with fabric or trying a new recipe or embroidering pillow cases or planning a new flower garden or whatever! And, the less things got wasted the more that you had! So not too much got thrown out.

A lot of households only had one car, and the gent would drive it to work so the lady of the house stayed home to run the place. When I was a kid a big question was should a man allow his wife to work, but by the time I was grown that question was SOOO outdated! For when my Mother's generation was growing up I get the impression the question was should a man allow his wife to drive.

I hear you about the stress of modern life and trying to be two people, I really do. Given a choice I prefer the stress of modern life over the frustrations of the older generations: not every married woman wanted to stay home all day. And, the day is a long one when the grocery shopping is done after dinner because that is when the car is home.


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## ovsfarm (Jan 14, 2003)

I think one of the initial shocks is to realize that there are alternative ways to live and thrive apart from the mainstream, and it sounds like you have already got a good grip on that concept. It astounds me to see the number of people who march lockstep with others, just because it never occurred to them that they had other options.

Beyond that, I think it is important to really grasp the concept that just because you could afford something, or have the credit rating to get it on payments, and everyone else around you has it, doesn't mean you should get it. So much of the stuff that clutters so many mainstream homes is nothing more than a distraction. And frequently becomes an example of possessions owning the purchaser rather than vice versa.

(I will have to write more later - we are going out for New Year's Eve! Driving about a mile down our dirt road to a little church that is having a bluegrass band in tonight! I expect we will be back home well before midnight. Hope the big dogs don't make too much of a mess of the place while we're gone  )


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## ovsfarm (Jan 14, 2003)

Okay, I'm back - the band was excellent!!! We even stayed out until midnight, but were back home by 12:06. Anyway...

I think the third thing you could focus on is your goals. What do you want out of life for you and your family? Unlike many mainstreamers, you probably aren't grooming your kids to own the biggest McMansion or have the fanciest cars, furniture or clothing. But what ARE you grooming them for? I like to write these goals down so I can refer to them occasionally when I need a fresh shot of motivation.

I think it is these goals that influence your day to day decisions, which color your attitude. For example, if you feel that housework is a drudgery to be completed as quickly as possible, then it is unlikely that you will enjoy it. However, if you find it a fulfilling way to exercise good stewardship, to care for your family by providing them a clean, well functioning home, a health and safety issue that enables you to help protect their health, a training ground where you can equip your kids with valuable skills that will serve them well when they are the heads of their own households, then it is much more likely that you will not only enjoy doing the housework, but that you will find ways to excel at it and obtain maximum benefit.

My grandmother was not a polished lady, but everyone in the small town where she lived loved her dearly. Everyone called her Granny, even the paperboy. She was a fountain of wisdom, a shoulder to cry on, an encourager when you were down, would chide you gently and offer constructive criticism if you were doing wrong. She never, ever thought about being a role model, she was too busy interacting to model anything.

Her house was clean, but not spotless, because her house was a means to an end - that of loving and caring for her family. Her garden was ample, not to show off but so that there would be plenty to share. She didn't waste money and her shrewd management enabled her family to live quite comfortably on a low income. But she always had a small sweet hidden in the cupboard to offer any visiting children. I never remember a time when she didn't have time to visit with us grandkids. She didn't quit her work but would include us in it. I have fond memories of standing up in a chair backed up to the counter, rolling out dumplings with Granny. I am sure I was making more mess than dumpling, but she always made me feel like my help was important and that she was really pleased that I was there.

Her overall attitude was one of acceptance of hard work, love of life, family and friends, and a great sense of humor. I never remember her complaining about things or being negative. She made the best of every single thing life handed her. I loved her so very much and still miss her even though she has been gone for over 30 years.

So how do we get from here to there? I guess by first knowing it is there, and then that it is possible to choose that life. And finally bit by bit, making choices every day that bring us closer to our ideal rather than farther from it. Filling our minds with things that motivate and inspire us rather than those that breed discontent. Developing a can-do attitude rather than a can't one.

And finally, I think it is a journey, a continuous progression, that takes a whole lifetime. I don't think Granny ever did the things she did because she felt she had to. It was just an outward manifestation of who she was, so there wasn't any starting or ending point. The "job" was never done, because she didn't view it as a job, rather as a way of life.


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## Wolf mom (Mar 8, 2005)

Stress? Sounds like you're making it a me vs. them issue (my lifestyle vs theirs). Be strong, believe in what you are doing, and don't worry about others think or do.


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## 7thswan (Nov 18, 2008)

Ya, the "stress' word got me too. I'm stressed at being in the "real" world. It's much more worthwhile to create your own world and live in it. It becomes easy to accept what you can't have or do because it is a Law of Nature,instead of a Man's Law.


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## Delion (Dec 6, 2013)

We got a lot of inspiration from the old Foxfire books.


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## Vosey (Dec 8, 2012)

I suspect that our great-grandmother's all had very different mindsets, just as we all do now. I think we often romantasize (sp?) their lifestyles. It sounds like you have an idea of what the mindset is you want, but are having a hard time applying it to yourself. 

As an example of mindsets: One of my greatgrandmother's was from a poor family of coal miner's in upstate New York. She was part of the original woman's suffrage movement, her goal was that her 2 daughters would go to college and vote. She achieved that goal, they both went at age 16 to college. But GGM lived on a farm, she supposedly hated gardening and canning (my mother hates canning due to canning every summer with her!) and wanted to spend all of her time reading and learning. I'm pretty sure her mindset was one of suffering and determination for change.


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## Aimee529 (Apr 30, 2008)

Wow, thank you all for responding! I really appreciate being given an opportunity to be able to listen in on all of your thoughts....such a broad representation of experiences, ages, etc! I also really enjoyed the videos and am currently looking up the Foxfire series. I guess the reason I feel like I am having a hard time adjusting me mindset is I grew up in a city. When I was small we got veggies from my great-grandparents' farm, but other than that, I had a very "modern" upbringing. 

Fast-forward 20+ years, and my husband and I have 2 children with Autism that over the last year we discovered me and the children had Celiac disease and were reacting to most foods (because our bodies decided to start reacting to other foods since we continued to eat gluten not knowing we had Celiac) and polyester. If we eat meat from the grocery store we get diarrhea for several hours.....it's the feed....we can't eat animals that have been fed the standard feed. It must be the organic, non-gmo, soy free feed (I think the soy is the problem....I can't even touch regular feed without significant arthritis). So for the last several years we have been doing therapies with the kids, homeschooling them, eating on a really restricted diet that currently excludes all prepackaged foods and restaurants (and we aren't absorbing properly so we eat ALOT....the kids (3 and 5) can eat a 10oz ribeye each for lunch with veggies....and that's just lunch!!), and now we have started raising our own meat birds, eggs, and now some veggies. But before all of this happened, we were involved with community activities....because we had the time. It has been challenging to disentangle ourselves from what we "used" to do and embrace what do now. I constantly feel like I have one foot in each world, and part of that is because it has been very difficult for me to go against research (I was a school psychologist before the kids were born) and not do therapies, social activities, etc. However, the farther, I get into all of these allergies, sensitivities, and having to REALLY start homesteading instead of just dabbling from time to time....the more I realize that I am going to have to make a choice. The choice for me is obvious: we live a more traditional life so me and the kids can eat and not be sick. However, I have a hard time understanding how to structure my time, my home, and my life when I have never seen someone do it before (at least not anything close to like what I am doing now). 

We are getting ready to unplug more from modern life (tv, facebook, etc). I often use facebook to keep up with my relatives (they are all at least 9 hours away), but perhaps it might help to step away from that (lots of modern input) and replace that form of interaction (because you are right...they don't do big social events anymore and my children's conversational skills are limited....so I do find myself craving some interaction) with forums (like this one) that can be more useful given the goals we are working towards. If you have any further thoughts or suggestions, I would be most appreciative. I WANT to find a way to structure my home and routine so that it is more seasonal because that works best with our homesteading requirements....however, it could take a very long time for me to figure it all out by trial and error! I did find some help in reading my children The Ox Cart Man...it talked about seasonal responsibilities of family members on a homestead. 

Sorry to have prattled on...


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## Whisperwindkat (May 28, 2009)

I think I -understand what you are talking about better now...it is a time issue. Welcome to our world! LOL! First sit down and make a list of priorities. Homeschooling, housekeeping, farm chores whatever. Then think up a schedule that will seem to allow you to accomplish reasonable daily goals. Don't be afraid to adjust and rework this as time goes on. Don't bite off more than you can chew. For instance, if a small herd of 3 goats will suffice don't have a herd of 15. Next involve the children and give them chores so that it will lesson the burden on you. Schedule social time. Fridays are play date days here, then the children have Wednesday night church and Sunday morning and night church. Very rarely do we deviate from that, but if we do it is only occasionally so doesn't create stress. Set up everything so that it is time efficient. For instance, we have 3 barns. Each barn has its own set of cleaning tools and feed room. The feed for each set of livestock is in that barn with them. There is no wasted time running around from barn to barn for morning chores. Winter time is relatively easy around here because the stalls are all deep bedded. So only the aisleways need to be cleaned up and the horse stalls picked out. I do this in the morning at feed time and it only takes me about 45 minutes to take care of all livestock needs in the morning. Evening chores take less time because no cleaning chores are needing to be done. I limit my garden chores to an hour a day in the winter. This is when I add compost and remulch the walkways, make repairs etc. By spring non of this needs doing. I plant biodynamically and have a sprinkler system set up so I can water the garden while the livestock is being tended to. Then I can pull weeds and harvest for the day still using that hour. 

Then in the spring and fall we take care of repairs unless they are small ones that will only take a short amount of time. Unless they are a hazard or containment issue repairs or rebuilds are done in the spring and then we take one day a week to accomplish those tasks that we can. Housework runs pretty much the same way. I spring clean in the winter when there is no canning to do. I break everything down, declutter, get rid of things and scrub it all down. I do this a little each day and work on one room for a whole week using a little at a time. Summer is canning season and so I use winter to do my sewing. Yes, everything has a season around here which is built around the farming seasons. When outside is a heavier load then inside is not. During the summer, I spend 1 hour each day cleaning the house, then it is never a major project and so doesn't get overwhelming. I am OCD about things being put away after use and everything having a place. Piles are simply not tolerated.

Another thing that helps is that I get up early and I go to bed early. I am up by 4:30 every morning. It is now 7am and I have already wiped down the bathrooms, run two loads of laundry (oldest will fold them when she wakes up at 8am), prepped for breakfast and made up snacks to get the kids through the day, cleaned up around the woodstove, had my coffee and my breakfast, done my morning Bible study. In 30 minutes I will go outside to do chores. I will come in for a few minutes to wake the children, give them their breakfast and then I will head back out to put mulch in the garden and some compost, tidy up the feed rooms, and bring wood into the house for the day. The oldest will have eaten breakfast, tidied up the kitchen and folded the laundry. The little one will take the laundry to the respective bedrooms and everyone puts their own laundry away. I will take a shower and change clothes, then vacuum the den and Swiffer dust the house, make my bed and then I do schoolwork with the little one. Her schoolwork lasts about an hour and a half. Then we eat lunch which is usually leftovers from the night before. After lunch the oldest and I work on what we need to work on together. She is a teen so she is mostly self directed and we only need to talk about a few things and do math lessons. Our discussion time takes about another hour and a half maybe two hours depending on the subject/s. I then do a quick tidy, clean up anything that has been left out and prep for supper. By 3:30, schoolwork and housework are done. I then sew or whatever until 5. Sometimes we will all play a board game (hubby gets home at 3pm). At about 4:30 hubby does the evening feeding. While I finish supper the little one takes her bath. After supper we watch a movie, play a game or whatever as a family. Little one goes to bed at 8pm and I am in bed by 8:30 for my reading time. Oldest cleans the kitchen and sweeps the floors after supper. 

Right now that is pretty much our schedule. Sometimes, if there are some extra things to do then there is that afternoon time between 3:30 and 5 that I have to do those things. Summer schedule is much different, schoolwork load is much lighter. Also, if I am in the process of deep cleaning a room then I might use some of that afternoon time working on that. I try to de-clutter on a regular basis. I keep a container in my closet for things to get rid of, so as I come across something it can go in there immediately. Once it is full then we take it to town on our next trip. It keeps the de-cluttering from being an all day affair. The house stays tidy and clean, not Better Homes and Gardens perfect, but good enough that if someone stops by I don't get embarrassed. I know this has been a long post, but I hope that it helps give you an idea about how you can run this life so that you can have some life outside of the farm if needed It can be done, trust me...but you have to find the schedule that works for you. I run the farm, freelance write, doing outside sewing alterations, take care of an elderly mother and homeschool, and homekeep. We still have time for friends and birthday parties and field trips with other homeschoolers, but it takes some serious time management to not feel overwhelmed. Lists are my very best friends. I use them every day. I have my daily list, my monthly list and my yearly list. It helps to keep all those projects under control and on a manageable schedule rather than letting them take over your life so that nothing else is accomplished. Slow and steady keeps things running smoothly and life from getting to be overwhelming. Blessings, Kat


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## sand flea (Sep 1, 2013)

We all need connection, Aimee. It's an emotional/spiritual/mental health nutrient! 

Real quick: gotta run...

Winter is indoor work: sewing, making things, reading, school...
Depending on your location: Feb/March is seed starting, tilling, pruning...

Summer is keeping up with succession plantings, harvest, preserving... outdoor maintenance... animal care...

Fall is a bit of a breather - but getting ready for winter, etc.

School: should be kind of a year-round thing... as well as learning practical skills... and nurturing those individual interests/talents...


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## 7thswan (Nov 18, 2008)

I can attempt to help, but only by telling how things go around here. It does depend on where you live and your seasons/weather. Right now, it is too cold for the Hoophouse to produce any cool crops-Kale, lettuce, ect. Soon I'll start heating the greenhouse for seedlings for starting the garden. Both the greenhouse and hoophouse were built by me with salvaged materials, except for some that I had to buy. So when I'm not in the garden working-I'm planning something. My personalty-I have to create something with my hands. This fits in real well with the homesteading way of life(except I become overwhelmed-my own fault) with stuff I HAVE to do), so I suggest you find a way to look at what you need to do each day-thru your own perspective. That might be reasurching every little thing about something. I don't do that, I get as much info as I can handle-then I have to get my hands on it. Right now, I have the woodstove going, which I do not like to tend, but have to while Dh is at work, he does it when home. BUT- I love my woodcookstove, so I will start it up, and today I will be canning chicken breasts that I froze earlier. I do this freezing in summer when too busy to cann. Winter is an easer time to deal with the heat.
On my Living room floor is some hand milled and plained Ash my Dh picked up from my BIL yesterday. I am making a Harvest table for the kitchen, 7 feet long 46 inches wide. I need it for surface for canning and cooking,such as making noodles ect. I bought a antique table, for the legs,cheeper than buying legs. Tho I could have made rustic legs, these will match our Antique dÃ©cor. We did see a nice Harvest table at an antique store-but it was waaayy to much $.In a bit after doing my reading on the net, I have to go out and tend my Angora rabbits, I use for spinning and knitting, and the chickens. The cows, nothing to do right now for me-no calfs comeing soon. I just look at them. Dh puts in round bales and waters when he gets home. Summer will be different. Our cows are totally hay( alfala we grow here) fed. 
Today I will also be cooking a big pot of dog food, we have 3 large dogs, homemade food is best for them,a pot lasts 3 1/2 to 4 days, it contains a lot of rice. I go once in awhile to the Mennonite store and buy bulk. Silly me left a unopened can of pop in the vintage trailer I am redoing( for company that comes to visit),and it exploded in this freezing weather, so I must take all the bedding,curtians ect. out and wash-which I dry around the stoves. If I get time, I'll work on a rug that I'm crocheting, and a knitted lined hat-I MUST complete. It's early, so who knows what the rest of the day will bring. I might even get time to look at the garden catalogs that have been comeing in the mail. Tomorrow, I night drive the 2 hours to visit my Mom, she is in rehab. and is learning to walk again. I do not have Children, I can imagine Your days will be full, with tending them and their needs. I'm sure like tending animals, but I do know around HT, Children help greatly with chores. I'm sure you will get in the swing of things, once you decide what is important for You, but find what You Enjoy, so You won't be stressed.


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## ovsfarm (Jan 14, 2003)

I love lists and working in response to seasonal needs. However, I always feel overwhelmed at the beginning of each season. I don't like that time when I feel that every where I look is another job, overdue to be done. In my area, the seasons rarely shift slowly one into another. They linger overly long and surprisingly intense and then overnight burst into the next season. So you wake up one day and feel 6 weeks behind. We try to do everything we can to get a jump on the next season, but when it's too cold/too wet/too hot for the plants, there's only so much you can do. So by all means, make lists and plans, but cultivate an attitude of flexibility because your work will be largely dictated by Mother Nature's time table.

Like others have said, if you have previously determined your priorities, that should be your guide to your activities. Be on guard not to let anyone else's priorities force their way onto your list. I once read that if you are having friction with someone, it is often due to the fact that they are trying to force their priorities onto you. Nip that in the bud. For example, a friend or relative may expect you to drop everything to join them at a particular social event. But if that is not your priority, don't let it stress you. Politely and calmly decline, offer to set up a time to socialize that fits into your schedule and let it go. You don't owe them a reason, but if you want to try to help them understand, you can try to explain to them that harvest won't wait, but the coffee shop will still be at the mall next month.

My daily activities are partly determined by a preset schedule and partly dictated by the circumstances of the day. I start out with my normal morning schedule, but usually try to have all that done by 10:00 or 10:30, so that I can spend the rest of the morning addressing whatever crisis situations have popped up or to take advantage of weather windows of opportunity to do various weather dependent activities. Then I go back on schedule for lunch and the early afternoon, with late afternoon reserved for other variables. I always have plenty of back up, non time sensitive work waiting if nothing special needs attention in my "free time".

Then in the winter, I make a final check on outdoor things around dusk, and am in for the rest of the evening. We eat earlier, read, watch a movie, knit, etc. and then go to bed. In the summer, we may have a light snack around 5:00, but it seems that we can (and have to) get another 4 hours of work in before the daylight goes. Almost all of that is outside work, such as animal chores, cleaning barns, yard work, garden work, etc. In the summer, we never eat dinner before 9:00pm and often don't get to it until around 10:00.

I really like to defer as much of my canning as possible to the fall or winter months. We don't have air conditioning or a furnace, so I like using the canning heat to warm the house when we need it. If it has to be done in the summer, I like to stay up and do it late at night. I can always catch a nap in the heat of the day, but hate heating the house up even more and increasing the humidity if I don't absolutely have to. I have done some canning outdoors, but I have to worry about a wide variety of domestic and wild animals "helping" me, so it is much easier to just do it inside.

So I guess, in a nutshell, I'd say to identify priorities, make a schedule, but stay flexible so you can react to the weather and other uncontrollable factors.

Regarding the day-to-day, I try to tackle the biggest, hardest jobs first each day. Once I get them out of the way, each additional task seems much easier. However, with a farm/homestead, you always have to be ready to change direction to deal with the unexpected. Animals will escape, get injured, have babies, or things will break, etc. at the most exasperating times!


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## AprilM (Jul 23, 2008)

Here is our schedule. I have 8 children and many who are old enough to help, so I am not doing all these things at the same time. Up early at 4:45. Get ready for day and morning Bible time. Make breakfast for DH and pack lunch. Start bread and cheese. Meanwhile an older child is milking cows and feeding animals. Tidy house house, feed kids, start laundry. School work until lunch while also tending cheese and bread and doing laundry. Afternoons are daily homesteading work. Monday - clean barn and stalls, Tuesday - sewing and fiber work in winter and summer gardening, Wednesday - gardening and food preservation, Thursday - baking and food preservation, Friday - house cleaning. 4:00 pm is afternoon outside chores, then tidy house and make dinner. Dinner at 6:30, family singing and devotions, and bed at 8:45.


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## Becka03 (Mar 29, 2009)

Last New Yrs Eve I made the resolution to learn more skills- I did the same the yr before... I sought out people I knew that already knew things I wanted to learn- offering help with the chores they had in exchange for learning- 
Butchering Chickens- I had a friend who was butchering his- he told me - I could have all the meat-( I wanted to learn to pressure can chicken so this was a bonus) IF I would help butcher them- I was on that in a heart beat- I helped him butcher 14 chickens and got all the meat! 
I wanted to learn to crochet 2 yrs ago- I asked a woman at work- she helped me cause she said someone at work taught her- so in return I helped 3 other women learn and started a Knitting and Crocheting grp at church- 
I got a sewing machine last yr from freecycle- I wanted to learn how to use it- well- our church has a Loving Hands Quilting grp- they say it is for beginners to seasoned quilters- I started going- they were so patient- I learned to use my machine and every Monday night- I go to help make quilts for those who are sick ...
I garden in a work share to learn how to grow things- that I like to can- I stink at growing LOL- but I am great with canning- I offer those skills to anyone who knows me- and I have even given a "canning starter kit" to a woman- the canner and jars and some pectin- she was beside her self and canned things for the first time this summer- it comes full circle- a neighbor just brought me another entire starter kit someone gave her- so I am sure next summer I will met someone who will need one LOL- and they can have it -
find and surround yourself with people who have the skills - make those friends- those are the best friendships I have-


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## Aimee529 (Apr 30, 2008)

Good advice Becka03! I don't know anyone in my area....sadly I teach all of the canning, soapmaking, etc etc classes in our area.....but your post made me remember that there are two homeschooling moms about an hour away with similar responsibilities. I'll have to give them a call after I make my list of priorities. Which brings me to one more question....

Many of you mentioned that your children help. My kiddos are 5 and 3, but function at about 2 and 4. We have also spent a great deal of the last couple years out of the house doing therapies and doctors appointments. Today as I was observing what I do with my time, I realized that I spend a great deal of my time addressing things with the kids. They have very limited attention spans and do not generally play independently without an older child to direct them. I know it is the Autism, and it has gotten significantly better with time. Do any of you have any thoughts on how to best work with developmentally young children or how to teach them to help? They do help....sometimes they help tear greens for dinner or clean the floor, etc. I also tried having them pick out an activity this morning to do while I cooked breakfast....that did seem to help.....they seem to need to be directed towards a specific activity in order to know what to do.....perhaps I should try setting a timer so they know what they are supposed to be doing.... Suggestions?


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## lindamarie (Jul 9, 2013)

I am dealing with a sick 1 to right now so don't have much time at the moment. 

But, dh and I walked away from everything 14 years ago to live like my grandparents and great-grandparents lived. We are now doing it with 3 dgds and sometimes another one who is an aspie, on the spectrum. I can tell you that I have never been happier, its hard work, but nourishing. Having some sort of schedule helps, no tv for over 20 years is very freeing. 

Will write more later between diapers. Oh, don't ever give up.


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## farmerDale (Jan 8, 2011)

Aimee529 said:


> I wasn't sure where to post this, but I was wanting to know how do I learn what and how to adopt a mindset more similar to my great-grandmother's or perhaps even an Amish homemaker? I have learned many skills over the last several years that have been of great benefit on our small suburban homestead, but I am recognizing that our family has become quite divergent from society........ And it is causing me great stress trying to live in two worlds (current modern culture vs. Growing/butchering our own meat, homeschooling, etc etc). But, it has also occurred to me that I don't know how women used to do or even conceptualize their job. Does that make sense? Perhaps I need to read some books to help immerse me in that mindset better?!?!? Thanks!


Here is how you become more of a mindset like your great grandmother.

Your husband moves to a land across the ocean, where it is untamed, scarcely inhabited, and has lots of cheap land. There is no electricity, no plumbing, no gasoline engines, no airplanes, no farm machinery. So now your husband has moved. He gets to this new country, and after three years of hard farm labor, he finally has made enough cash to send for you. You arrive in this new land with a dress and 9 dollars. 

You arrive at the farm. There is a one room shack, and a log barn, empty of animals. In the shack is a table, a chair, and a wood stove. Your husband is out clearing trees so you can have land to sow the following spring. He has no income from the farm yet. You use your money to buy some chicks. After a while you sell eggs for 4 cents a dozen. With that cash you buy a milk cow. You harvest all of the feed by hand. You sell the cream and with this cash, you buy a horse team so your husband can seed his crops. The crop of oats emerges nicely. Cash will be rolling in in a few short months. On July 9th, it hails, however, and the crop is wiped out completely. Oh well there is always next year.

lol! See, the thing is, to have the same mindset in today's world, is IMO impossible. They did what they did because they HAD to to survive. If you HAD to raise your own food, go to town twice a year, and cook from scratch for a 12 man threshing crew, using a hunk of a steer, a few potatoes, scant salt, and if you were lucky a bit of sugar to make a pie, you would gain the mindset, the homesteading heart. 

But that is only if you were not making candles, churning butter, stooking wheat, hoeing a one acre garden, walking in dust behind the harrows and horses, cutting and chopping a winters wood supply, all while raising a baby or two or twelve.....

Seriously, IMO, it is impossible anymore to have the mindset of our ancestors. 

They HAD TO. So they rose to the task at hand. We no longer HAVE to live like that. So we don't; even if we want to live simply, there is very little in common with what they did. We may think we are "homesteaders", we may think we are a little bit like them. The truth is, we aren't. Some are more so than others, but it isn't even close.

I would wager most of us wish for a simpler time. I sure do. Some live the mindset more than others. But even the most die hard of us in today's world, are not even close. So don't feel badly. IMO having the mindset of our forefathers is impossible. Not that we can not work towards being more like them.....

Cheers,

Dale


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## sand flea (Sep 1, 2013)

Aimee:

As you communicate to them, what you are going to do now - ask them what part of that job they want to do. I'm afraid that if you don't start soon, on letting them experience some autonomy... instead of just telling what & how all the time... they won't even know what they "want" or "need" for themselves. It has to be very, very little things at this age... but something that they care about. This is to help them express what's in their cute little heads - and engage in two-way communication. Starting sooner rather than later, will help them a lot later on. Even if they just look at you, and can't answer the question... you've shown them that it matters to you that they participate and choose how; and this will sink in over time... have some simple suggestions, if they are at a loss, and see if one of those are agreeable.

Also: since verbal skills aren't going to be their strong point yet -- make your lessons show & tell, how-tos. 

First I take this much lettuce and turn on the water, then rinse it like this. 

Now, I dry it like this... then let them practice (and at this age, just thank them and tell them "good job" -- and save correcting/improving/refining the skill for a year or two later).


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## Guest (Jan 3, 2014)

I didn't read all the replies so I'll keep it short . I don't think it was as much a matter of mindset as it was just the way people lived . They did what was necessary to survive & hopefully thrive in the time they lived in . Times have changed .
If you want to live like they did , study up on their era , throw out modern conveniences & do things the way they did them .


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## Delion (Dec 6, 2013)

Aimee529 said:


> I was wanting to know how do I learn what and how to adopt a mindset more similar to my great-grandmother's or perhaps even an Amish homemaker?
> 
> This BBC Documentary on the Amish, we felt was worth taking the time to watch.
> 
> ...


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## Becka03 (Mar 29, 2009)

Delion said:


> Aimee529 said:
> 
> 
> > I was wanting to know how do I learn what and how to adopt a mindset more similar to my great-grandmother's or perhaps even an Amish homemaker?
> ...


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## BlueRose (Mar 7, 2013)

I watched the the whole show. I can not believe their bravery for doing this film. It was a great insight into their lives.


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## Delion (Dec 6, 2013)

Has anyone watched the BBC documentary about the Amish: A Secret Life?


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## Win07_351 (Dec 7, 2008)

Delion said:


> Has anyone watched the BBC documentary about the Amish: A Secret Life?


:goodjob:


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## Patchouli (Aug 3, 2011)

Lots of good answers here. We started down this road 20 some years ago and the biggest thing is building new habits. Life is very different on a farm than it is in the modern world and you need a completely different rhythm and round of daily chores. It is hard to switch over and at the beginning you will miss some things. But it gets easier. Reading books by homesteaders and older books are helpful, you can glean a lot of hints. When I was a young mother I read almost all of Grace Livingston Hill's books. One of my favorites was The Honor Girl. It was about a young girl who went from living a fairly easy life to going and taking care of her father and brothers in an old run down house. Lots of cooking and cleaning and all sorts of house work in there and little tips scattered in. It was really helpful to me coming from a modern home and trying to step back and cook from scratch and all of that. 
We also enjoyed watching some of the PBS shows where they had people live like they did in different eras. Frontier House was a good one: http://www.pbs.org/wnet/frontierhouse/

The BBC did some too and there are quite a few shows out there like it. It gave us ideas and the chance to see people doing things right and wrong.


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## AngieM2 (May 10, 2002)

Nice to see another that has read Grace Livingston Hill books. I've read several of them.


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## FarmFamily (Feb 12, 2014)

I know this is an old thread but I wanted to post. We did away with satellite a few yrs ago and what a difference it has made. We do not miss Tv. We don't even have a TV in the house anymore. We do have netflix for good family movies (mostly historical) or documentaries for school. We use the laptop for those. Also...I have a subscription to some lovely wholesome magazines that are published by the Amish. Family Life, The Young Companion, and Blackboard Bulletin. These are so great and the kids love them too. Wonderful stories, letters to the editor, recipes.... And for over a yr we visited a Mennonite church off and on. We built some wonderful friendships and learned so much from these wonderful people. That may be something that interests you as well. Blessings to you and yours as your travel down the road of a traditional homemaking/homesteading lifestyle. You are not alone!


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## PrettyPaisley (May 18, 2007)

This is a really awesome thread. I've been struggling over the past month to figure out how to get it all done. I've quit my job and really only go into town one day a week but I can't seem to figure out how to get it all done. 

I need to wake, milk goats, water garden, work in garden, feed children breakfast, work in garden, water cows/chickens/goats again, feed children lunch, preserve harvest from garden, water everyone again, fix dinner, milk goats, then fall over dead into the bed. At what point do I squeeze in laundry, cleaning the floors, when can I even glance at the mess my once beautiful flower beds (now covered in weeds), or sit down to crochet, flip through a book or play online without severely neglecting something or someone ??


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## where I want to (Oct 28, 2008)

PrettyPaisley said:


> This is a really awesome thread. I've been struggling over the past month to figure out how to get it all done. I've quit my job and really only go into town one day a week but I can't seem to figure out how to get it all done.
> 
> I need to wake, milk goats, water garden, work in garden, feed children breakfast, work in garden, water cows/chickens/goats again, feed children lunch, preserve harvest from garden, water everyone again, fix dinner, milk goats, then fall over dead into the bed. At what point do I squeeze in laundry, cleaning the floors, when can I even glance at the mess my once beautiful flower beds (now covered in weeds), or sit down to crochet, flip through a book or play online without severely neglecting something or someone ??


Water garden- I forgot to water the garden......


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## Spinner (Jul 19, 2003)

Aimee529 said:


> ... I don't know how women used to do or even conceptualize their job. Does that make sense?


A mindset is something you choose, not something you do. My grandmother was born in 1898 and was old school. The best way I can describe her mindset is that she was the hub of the home. She had total responsibility for the home, everything in it, the people, the food (from preparing the soil, planting, harvesting, cooking, and cleaning up after a meal.) Everything outside the home was grandpas job. Bringing in the money, supporting and protecting the family. In a nutshell, grandma took care of grandpa because she knew her âlife as she knew itâ would end without him, and he took care of her for the same reason. They complimented each other in ways that modern couples canât even dream of. 

You said youâve learned many skills and your family has become quite divergent from society. Thatâs a good thing that should not cause stress. I donât think you really want to be one of the mindless robots in todays modern world. Modern people buy prepared foods, never learning where food comes from. Most would starve in a garden because they are too âmodernâ to know how to dig up a potato, shuck an ear of corn, or butcher a chicken. Modern people eat stuff that was never intended to be food (margarine is 1 step away from being plastic!) 

Grandmother learned to mesh the two worlds. She continued to be the hub of the home, but when she seen an opportunity to start her own business, she did it. All her life we thought it was grandpas company, but when she sold the company, we learned that she was the one who owned it and ran it. She was secure enough in who she was to let people think it was grandpas company. Iâm sure it was partly to protect his pride, but probably to protect herself too. She didnât want to be known as a woman who stepped out of her traditional role into the corporate world. She ran the company from a small desk in her home, while grandpa had a large office with a big desk. The public (and extended family) thought grandma worked as grandpas informal secretary all those years!

What it all boils down to is âlive and let liveâ. Live the way you want and donât let outside influences deter you from what you want for you and yours.


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## mpillow (Jan 24, 2003)

sand flea said:


> Rule number one: is that "Mom" was the pivot-point of the family... she made and enforced the rules (with Dad for backup), she managed the finances by stretching a dollar till it squeeked, and she was the baker, seamstress/laundress, tutor and minister to all forms of experience of life and it's ups and downs. She took very good care of Dad, because he was bringing home the bacon for her to feed people with.
> 
> "Mom" didn't need fulfillment outside of that role. She got her self-esteem, warm fuzzies, and sense of accomplishment from being inseparable from that role. "Mom" had to be the epitome of jack of all trades and have a renaissance collection of knowledge and skills - healer, educator, farmer... plumber... spiritual guidance...
> 
> ...


What she said!^^^^^

And remember those kids you birthed need to be taught work ethic! My kids started hanging wet socks to dry at age 18months. Feeding and watering livestock w/o supervision by 8yo....hunting deer at 10yo....butchering by 12. If I'm outside, they are outside helping and learning.

"make kids breakfast and lunch" ----NO WAY after the age of 4yo. Cereal, yogurt, pancakes, french toast....large batches and into the fridge for help your self. PBJ sandwiches for lunch or another breakfast choice.....in fact by 8yo they were making my lunch! 

Time things....I know it takes 40min for a quart of scalded milk to cool for yogurt making......7min to fill the goat water....

Going to town means going to tractor supply...grain, boots, clothes, seeds, trees, chicks, canning supplies and fencing....what else could I need?


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## Terri (May 10, 2002)

PrettyPaisley said:


> This is a really awesome thread. I've been struggling over the past month to figure out how to get it all done. I've quit my job and really only go into town one day a week but I can't seem to figure out how to get it all done.


Can you water the garden on a timer?

Also, are your kids of an age to feed themselves, yet? Raisin bran is not the worlds healthiest breakfast, but it isn't the worst, either. My kids were feeding themselves cereal when they were 4.

Then again, it is hard to get ANYTHING done when your kids are small because they need you every 5 seconds! I lay the homesteading down while my kids were small. There just was not enough hours in the day back then!


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## PrettyPaisley (May 18, 2007)

Terri said:


> Can you water the garden on a timer?
> 
> Also, are your kids of an age to feed themselves, yet? Raisin bran is not the worlds healthiest breakfast, but it isn't the worst, either. My kids were feeding themselves cereal when they were 4.
> 
> Then again, it is hard to get ANYTHING done when your kids are small because they need you every 5 seconds! I lay the homesteading down while my kids were small. There just was not enough hours in the day back then!




I might be able to put it on a timer. We're putting in a drip line now so I'm hoping that will help. 

I should relax a bit on the breakfast, maybe. I just have very strong feelings about a solid, nutrient dense meal to start the day. I let them graze during the day - until dinner - but I really want them to eat well. And that's why I let them sleep as long as possible - so I can be in the garden as long as possible in the cooler morning air!!!


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## Spinner (Jul 19, 2003)

Have you checked into the Back to Eden garden system? or the RGGS system. BTE doesn't have to be watered and weeding is fast and easy. RGGS is automatic water and zero weeding. They both take some work to get set up, but once they are in place, it easy sailing from that point on.


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## mnn2501 (Apr 2, 2008)

Spinner said:


> BTE doesn't have to be watered


Don't try that in the South.


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## mrs whodunit (Feb 3, 2012)

I really enjoyed reading Elinore Pruitt Stewart's books. They where free on Kindle.

It gives a great glimse into the life of a woman homesteading

Love Love love reading her stories. Think I will read them around the campfire this summer to the girls


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## Vahomesteaders (Jun 4, 2014)

My Great grandparents lived to be in their mid 90's. They were old school. They completly lived off the land. They were married 76 years and in that time my grandfather never cooked a meal. Grandma did all the cooking and house chores as well as farm work with grandpa. My wife who has a finace degree and was up until this past year a finace manager for a banking district. She is now a stay at home mom and homemaker. She has now taken the stance that feminism destroyed and is destroying America. She actually gets ridiculed by friends for putting woman back 50 years because she left a position of power to be a homemaker. Thats how it is for many women. Thats why families fall apart so often. There are natural roles we each play and a natural balance to things in a relationship. When both try to be the chief it fails and when the woman tries to be the chief it usually fails because its against natural order. Many of our grandparents knew that which is why their generations pulled up their boot straps and worked thinsg out and made do with what they had. Those days are gone. lol


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## terri9630 (Mar 12, 2012)

mnn2501 said:


> Don't try that in the South.


Or in the desert.


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## Ann-NWIowa (Sep 28, 2002)

Our grandmothers or great-grandmother's choices were more limited especially if they lived on a farm. However, if they lived in town, quite a few did work outside the home. My great-grandmother was a store clerk for many years. Women's lib changed life for women so many now try to be more manly than womanly. We are now ridiculed if we choose to stay home. I am constantly pointing out to militant women's lib types that the whole point of women's lib was for women to have choices and being a homemaker is a good choice.

My grandmothers raised their families during the Depression. They were both excellent managers of time and money. Both raised big gardens and canned. Both also had lots of flowers in their yards. Life was pretty much family orientated. Until the 1950's families tended to stay close to where they were born. Sunday's at my grandparents always included many of the aunts, uncles, great-aunts, great-uncles and cousins of various degrees.

Farm women up until the end of WWII had close neighbors as farms were 120 acres or less. The neighbors helped one another with big projects like threshing, haying, butchering, etc. If someone needed help, it was supplied. When I was a teenager this lifestyle had all but ended. Yet, when my dad was injured, all the neighbor men came and chopped ensilage while the women cooked for them. When another neighbor's son was killed in an accident out of state, my dad went and hand milked his 6 cows morning and night (after he finished milking our 30 head) for a week. This was a neighbor who was not friendly or neighborly, but he was still helped.

Social life for a farm woman often include a neighborhood "club". The women would get together once a month or so for lunch and afternoon of visiting. Saturday night everyone went to town to "trade". Eggs and cream for groceries. I can recall (before TV) the main street in our little town full of people standing and visiting on Sat. nights. Sunday was for church and virtually everyone went. 

Women usually also belonged to a woman's group at their church. For my grandmothers that was WSCS at the Methodist Church. The women didn't serve on the church board, but you can be sure that the women were running things. Some belonged to Bridge Clubs or other card clubs as well as PEO, Eastern Star, garden club, quilting group and other civic organizations. One very important connection for farm women was the radio homemaker programs. 

No woman was respected if she could not cook, sew, manage on her husband's income, control her kids, keep her house clean, grow a decent garden and preserve the harvest. As far as I'm concerned, even if the woman chooses to work outside her home, that is still a good measure of a woman.


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## Freya (Dec 3, 2005)

Get your hands on this book:

* "Radical Homemakers: Reclaiming Domesticity from a Consumer Culture"*

* by Shannon Hayes :thumb:*


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## mpillow (Jan 24, 2003)

When I was a kid in the 70's, we bought fresh raw milk from our neighbors. I did not drink "store" milk at home until I was 13....and I believe that is when certain regulations started making it hard for "homestead" products to be sold w/o regulation. Today's over regulation of everything make it dicey to break the law and sell milk/cream or expensive to comply....so to some degree "cream and eggs" has gone by the way side....and you'll be a horrid wife if you get caught selling "stuff" and lose all that you and hubby have worked for...

My mother used to tell us to "go watch Farmer P milk the brown cow and I bet Mrs. P will give you chocolate milk...." and the sweet old woman usually had some ready for us!


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