# ~~~smack that~~~



## copperkid3 (Mar 18, 2005)

One day, while I was babysitting my 5 year old niece, 
my brother calls me and asks if I would run to Wal-Mart 
for him and get some groceries. I agreed.
While my niece and I were in the store, she started acting up; 
talking back, not listening, running off, etc. 
So, like her parents would have done, I gave her a little swat 
on the bottom to make her pay attention to what I was saying. 
Not a hard swat, just a little tap to make her turn around and look at me. 
I told her in no uncertain terms, to settle down and behave or else. 
She pouted at me a little bit but she did settle down.

Just about then, I looked up and saw a lady fresh out of the trailer park, staring me down. 
I figured that she had a problem with what I had just done, but would not confront me about it. 

I was wrong. 

As my niece and I were leaving the aisle, she grabbed ahold of my cart and said, 
&#8220;I should call the police and tell them what you did.&#8221;

I just gaped at Ms. Trailer Trash as she launched into this elaborate story about
how her dad had spanked her as a child. She went on and on, to say that because 
her dad &#8220;abused&#8221; her so, she&#8217;d had serious trouble in school, with the law, and in 
practically every aspect of her life. 

As she&#8217;s describing her woes (crimes) in great detail my niece leans 
over and says, &#8220;*It sounds like your daddy didn&#8217;t spank you enough!*&#8221;



Out of the mouth of babes......:goodjob::bouncy:


(taken from an excerpt of The People of Wal-Mart.)


Comments? Should she have 'disciplined' the child in a public place?? 
Should she even have done so at all? What's your take on this?


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## Kung (Jan 19, 2004)

I love it when people confront me on this, because I WAS abused as a child for 7 years by my dad's 2nd wife.

I was ALSO spanked 'properly' by my father. The two methods were as different as day and night, and it taught me how to do it *right* (spank sparingly but not failing to do so when necessary, do it hard enough to sting, remember to tell the child why, and that you love them, and so on) and how to do it wrong.


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## copperkid3 (Mar 18, 2005)

All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, 
but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, 
afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness. - Hebrews 12:11

"Behold, how happy is the man whom God reproves, 
So do not despise the discipline of the Almighty." - Job 5:17

My son, do not reject the discipline of the Lord, 
Or loathe His reproof, For whom the Lord loves He reproves, 
Even as a father, the son whom he delights. - Proverbs 3:11-12


"Sing to the Lord a new song; Sing to the Lord, all the earth. 
Sing to the Lord, bless His name; Proclaim good tidings of His 
salvation from day to day. Tell of His glory among the nations, 
His wonderful deeds among all the peoples. For great is the Lord,
and greatly to be praised." - Psalm 96:1-4


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## Kung (Jan 19, 2004)

I have to admit, though, that upon seeing the title of the thread, I thought "Hrm...they must be discussing the latest rap song."


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## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)

_Comments? _
_Should she have 'disciplined' the child in a public place??_ - *NO -* she should have stuck the kid in her shopping cart to confine her. 

_Should she even have done so at all?_ - *YES *absolutely the child needed to be disciplined - PRIVATELY. 

_What's your take on this?_

An undisciplined 5 year old wreaking havoc in a store is a sign of undisciplined, uncaring, ignorant parents who haven't taught the child good manners.

Don't let your unruly children run around loose in a store. When I see non-supervised, undisciplined children running loose poking their dirty fingers into the fruits and veggies and meats, pulling things off shelves, opening packages, bending the pages of magazines and books, running into other shoppers, etc. - I complain very loudly to their parents and I inform them I'm going to complain directly to the store manager about them.

.


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## farmmom (Jan 4, 2009)

I've disciplined my children in public. It doesn't do any good to wait until you're done shopping to discipline. By then the child, especially the younger ones, have forgotten why they are being spanked. 

I was also abused by my father, but have no problem with giving an appropriate spanking when needed. Appropriate = not going overboard, limited # of swats on the bottom, with the assurance of love and an explaination of why the spanking was given.


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## Kung (Jan 19, 2004)

naturelover said:


> _Comments? _
> _Should she have 'disciplined' the child in a public place??_ - *NO -* she should have stuck the kid in her shopping cart to confine her.
> 
> _Should she even have done so at all?_ - *YES *absolutely the child needed to be disciplined - PRIVATELY.
> ...


People differ on different things. That might work when they get older, but put bluntly, not every child can be disciplined in this manner. My own son is one of those who recognizes when you 'can't' or 'won't' do something; and nothing short of at least a tap on the hand or a whack on the butt will do.

This being said, the fact that I DO in fact tap/whack him when it warrants, means that I RARELY have to. I'm the 'strict' one in our marriage, with my wife being the permissive one; and I've found that, because I was strict early on, I have to tap/whack him MUCH less often than my wife does.


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## PAcountry (Jun 29, 2007)

My brother got arrested for spanking his child in their car in a parking lot for misbehaving. And no my brother is not a child abuser, but my nephew needed a good swat on the behind. this was a small town and someone called the cops they showed up later that night at his house to arrest him.
It was eventually thrown out but, he still had to go to jail and deal with it all.


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## FourDeuce (Jun 27, 2002)

"Just about then, I looked up and saw a lady fresh out of the trailer park, staring me down."

"I just gaped at Ms. Trailer Trash as she launched into this elaborate story about how her dad had spanked her as a child."

Funny, but you don't hear talk like that out of the mouths of babes until they are taught to talk(and think) like that by the "adults" around them.
I don't see how anybody can claim to tell what kind of house somebody lives in by what they are wearing. Aside from that, anybody who thinks they are better than somebody else because that person lives in a trailer park probably shouldn't be going around pointing their fingers at other people, either.:sing:


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## salmonslayer (Jan 4, 2009)

I am not against spanking per se' but I never thought spanking my own kids made much sense for me personally. I am a big guy and I just could never get my head into the whole "lets inflict pain to make a point" parenting mind set. And yes they acted out and were disciplined and punished, just not hit. 

Having said that, I am not a fan of other peoples kids running amok in a store or anywhere else and I think parents need to be the boss not the other way around but I do suspect that many parents dont realize what it looks like when they spank. I see mothers and fathers try to spank their kids who are clearly afraid of them physically and they end up hitting them in the kidneys, arms, back, hips, etc. because the kids is pulling away to avoid being hit. You couple that scene with the look of fear on the kids face and the ----ed off look on the parents face and it can look very bad.


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

The law in CA is very clear that spanking on the bottom is acceptable as long as there is no bruise, cut, or other mark left on the child. 
The problem with spanking is that many parents do it while angry and it can easily become abuse. I was raised by parents who spanked, but they did it calmly and made sure I knew they loved me and that I understood why they were spanking me. I always received a hug afterwards and suggestions for more appropriate behavior/choices.
I tell my children that I spank them because I *DO* love them.

The only issue I have with spanking in public is that it shames the child. In my opinion, spanking is most effective when done in private. However, a brief swat is different and I swat my kids on the bottom in public when necessary. Swatting and spanking (to me) are different.


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## Mooselover (May 4, 2009)

i do have foggy memory, but i do recall that i don't think spankin really accomplished much. when i was bad, mom used to put me on a chair in the house and MAKE ME SIT there (for what seemed like FOREVER). meaning....i couldn't go out and play with the criiters. making me sit in that chair was more painful than any swat or heavy-hand on my butt. and btw...prior to living with her i truly KNEW what a razor belt was used for (and not by her..but by other foster-parents)


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## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

shanzone2001 said:


> 1) I was raised by parents who spanked, but they did it calmly and made sure I knew they loved me and that I understood why they were spanking me. I always received a hug afterwards and suggestions for more appropriate behavior/choices.
> 
> 2) I tell my children that I spank them because I *DO* love them.
> 
> ...



1) Ditto 

2) Ditto 

3) Ditto 

4) Ditto 

5) Ditto 

6) Ditto


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## suzfromWi (Jun 1, 2002)

We have had this discussion many times before and there are two sides but....IMO, parents that have to resort to hitting a child have not done thier job right. Well behaved children do not WAIT to misbehave when they are out in public...I raised 3 of my own and helped raise 2 grankids while my DD worked. I taught the kids what good behavior was expected, and when they were not behaving well, they got a time out or something they enjoyed, taken from them. My voice also told them when I did not approve of the behavior. I didnt ASK then if they wanted to eat dinner, or brush their teeth or go to bed. I told them it was time. I truly believe that kids that get the right combination of love, time spent, and good teachings, do not need to be hit. Most children are not trying to GET to you. Most children Want someone to care about what they do and how they behave. Most children act out to get attention. You can use the theory that spanking is NOT hitting, but for me that doesnt wash.. I think parents hit because they dont know how else to CONTROL the child. Children shouldnt have to be controlled, they should be taught. JMO...


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

Suz, you sound like you have done an excellent job raising children. Want to take mine for a few months????? :sob: Truthfully, my son and daughter are well behaved for the most part and I am proud of them. They do need need a swat now and then because they certainly aren't perfect!


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## suzfromWi (Jun 1, 2002)

Im very proud of all my kids, they have grown into wonderful adults. I also have 10 grandkids and 1 Great grandchild and they are all great too. Not perfect, just good....


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## debbydoo1966 (Jan 15, 2007)

"when i was bad, mom used to put me on a chair in the house and MAKE ME SIT there (for what seemed like FOREVER). meaning....i couldn't go out and play with the criiters. making me sit in that chair was more painful than any swat or heavy-hand on my butt. "
Tried that time-out, sit in the chair stuff with my son. He would slide out of the chair like liquid mercury. Had to swat his butt to get him to sit for time-out.


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## Kung (Jan 19, 2004)

suzfromWi said:


> We have had this discussion many times before and there are two sides but....IMO, parents that have to resort to hitting a child have not done thier job right.


Well, then I must be a crappy parent to my 19-month-old, then. 



> Well behaved children do not WAIT to misbehave when they are out in public...I raised 3 of my own and helped raise 2 grankids while my DD worked. I taught the kids what good behavior was expected, and when they were not behaving well, they got a time out or something they enjoyed, taken from them. My voice also told them when I did not approve of the behavior. I didnt ASK then if they wanted to eat dinner, or brush their teeth or go to bed. I told them it was time.


All this is well and good, but you're making the assumption that we *DON'T* do all of this stuff. We DO, in fact, do all of these things. But you can only take away so many things, put them in time out so many times, and tell him "No" so many times.

What makes it different for me is that after the first FEW times I said "No" and followed it up with a swat on the behind, he KNEW that when I said "No" I meant business. And guess what? Now I almost never spank him, because I don't need to.

In addition, there ARE some times where the punishment needs to be IMMEDIATE. I once yelled "NO!" and moved instantly towards him as he reached for a fan that was on. He flat out ignored me. And I ASSURE you that taking something away from him, or 'putting him in time out' would have had no effect. However, I had to smack his hand *ONCE* when he reached for that fan; and now, I simply say "No" in a very stern voice, and he leaves it alone.

There ARE some kids that, no matter what you do, simply don't respond to anything but a swat at times.



> I think parents hit because they dont know how else to CONTROL the child. Children shouldnt have to be controlled, they should be taught. JMO...


And some times parents *have* to spank because guys like me have tried ALL the suggestions you and many others have utilized - to NO eventual effect. Simply because it works for you does NOT mean it *will* work for everyone.


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## Kung (Jan 19, 2004)

debbydoo1966 said:


> "when i was bad, mom used to put me on a chair in the house and MAKE ME SIT there (for what seemed like FOREVER). meaning....i couldn't go out and play with the criiters. making me sit in that chair was more painful than any swat or heavy-hand on my butt. "
> Tried that time-out, sit in the chair stuff with my son. He would slide out of the chair like liquid mercury. Had to swat his butt to get him to sit for time-out.


Exactly. Sometimes the ol' time out just don't work. :shrug:


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## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)

If I recall correctly, I think I only got spanked 5 times in my life - that is turned over the knee and spanked on the bottom with a bare hand.

1 - When I was 3 y.o. I tipped the cat into the laundry chute of an apartment we lived in.

2 - When I was 7 y.o. I repeated the F word to mother while describing what a couple of dogs were doing. I had heard it from other older kids and didn't know it was a bad word. I was spanked and had my mouth washed out with soap.

3 - When I was 9 y.o. I hit a school bully in the head with a big rock and gave him a concussion after he punched me in the face with his fist. The spanking I got was worth it as the bully never bothered me again.

4 - When I was 10 y.o. my father took me out to the barn and spanked me for lipping off at my mother about doing the dishes.

5 - My first husband (who was drunk at the time) spanked me publically for lipping off at one of his drunk buddies. I divorced him.

.


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## copperkid3 (Mar 18, 2005)

naturelover said:


> If I recall correctly, I think I only got spanked 5 times in my life - that is turned over the knee and spanked on the bottom with a bare hand.
> 
> 1 - When I was 3 y.o. I tipped the cat into the laundry chute of an apartment we lived in.
> 
> ...


*********************************************
I've thought hard and long on the subject.........and won't.:run::run::run::teehee:








*(poor kitty)


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## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)

copperkid3 said:


> *There's just SOOOOO much that I could say.......but*
> I've thought hard and long on the subject.........and won't.:run::run::run::teehee:
> 
> 
> *(poor kitty)


Go ahead and say it, I'm no shy violet.  

The cat was okay. She landed in the laundry bin in the basement and climbed out. A neighbour down there in the laundry room heard her sliding and yowling down the chute, caught her and brought her back upstairs to us. Her tail was all fuzzed up like a bottle brush. I remember that.

.


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## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

When I was 4 I told my mother NO and she spanked me with a small board which left my entire backside butt/lower back/upper legs black n blue and she wasn't allowed to spank me again. But I sure kept paying for that "no"(on the other hand that "no" kept me sane).

Without getting into the whole spanking debate(yes I used it VERY spareingly on my kids for a certain situation, but mostly used other ways, mostly teaching them what NO/KNOCK IT OFF NOW meant), I do think that in this day it's stupid to spank/swat your kids in public like in the OP. There are a lot of Mrs Kravitz's that WILL call the cops on you.


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## Wags (Jun 2, 2002)

debbydoo1966 said:


> Tried that time-out, sit in the chair stuff with my son. He would slide out of the chair like liquid mercury. Had to swat his butt to get him to sit for time-out.


The sliding out of the chair sounds exactly like my daughter. And my son could care less about a time out, he just starts playing make believe games and thinks its fun.


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## Common Tator (Feb 19, 2008)

naturelover said:


> _Comments? _
> _Should she have 'disciplined' the child in a public place??_ - *NO -* she should have stuck the kid in her shopping cart to confine her.
> 
> _Should she even have done so at all?_ - *YES *absolutely the child needed to be disciplined - PRIVATELY.


I disagree. Kids that young need to be disciplined while the memory of what they did is still fresh. Wait too long, and they forget what they are being disciplined for.


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## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)

Common Tator said:


> I disagree. *Kids that young* need to be disciplined while the memory of what they did is still fresh. Wait too long, and they forget what they are being disciplined for.


A 5 y.o. ??? Do you really think so? Perhaps it varies from child to child and how much intelligence their parents give their kids credit for. Younger children may need checking immediately, yes, I agree with that.

Speaking just of the story in the original post though, all the 5 y.o.'s I've known have had a good enough memory they knew exactly what they were reprimanded for after they got home and having a proper, reasonable discussion about the consequences of it. 5 y.o.'s are intelligent and mischievous (devious & manipulative) enough to try to take advantage of a situation - just like the little girl in the OP did with her auntie .... and _maybe_ even to make the comment she allegedley did about trailer trash lady not being spanked enough by her daddy.

.


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## salmonslayer (Jan 4, 2009)

One of the things I notice with a lot of young parents is that discipline becomes a test of wills between the child and the parent..and the child usually wins. I agree that punishment needs to be relatively immediate but it should be measured; particularly with the young ones. And if your child is playing make believe games during time out they are certainly above average in intelligence IMO and thats a good thing.

No one has all the answers for all cases but after raising 5 kids and now having 2 grand kids all I can say is that after a while I learned patience and that firm, fair and loving parenting sure was more effective than yelling and spanking. 

Some of us just dont have warm and fuzzy spanking stories to relate from our childhood.


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## suzfromWi (Jun 1, 2002)

salmonslayer said:


> One of the things I notice with a lot of young parents is that discipline becomes a test of wills between the child and the parent..and the child usually wins. I agree that punishment needs to be relatively immediate but it should be measured; particularly with the young ones. And if your child is playing make believe games during time out they are certainly above average in intelligence IMO and thats a good thing.
> 
> No one has all the answers for all cases but after raising 5 kids and now having 2 grand kids all I can say is that after a while I learned patience and that firm, fair and loving parenting sure was more effective than yelling and spanking.
> 
> Some of us just dont have warm and fuzzy spanking stories to relate from our childhood.


I agree. Ive heard a young parent say the child was trying to GET them. sheesh...


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## suzfromWi (Jun 1, 2002)

One more thing. I have told my young family members with babies, that they will be raising adults. What they do now, will affect who these children will be as adults. Wouldnt they want these kids to be able to think things through, and learn to deal with problems without resorting to inflicting pain? A child is a blessing not a chore. I have seen a small childs face as they were being spanked. It was not a good thing. It takes more time out of a day to stop and deal with a childs behavior, then to just grab and spank. It takes more time to teach the child why this behavior is not in their best interest. Lets say a child hits another child. The mom then hits the child and says thats not nice! Wow! that makes no sense at all...My sil used to have a slapping contest with her small dd. Time spent teaching is much more worthwhile...


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## 7thswan (Nov 18, 2008)

Kids can tell the diffrence between a swat,a spanking and a beating. Adults should be able also.


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## suzfromWi (Jun 1, 2002)

7thswan said:


> Kids can tell the diffrence between a swat,a spanking and a beating. Adults should be able also.


Those that believe spanking is necessary, will defend it. Those that think we could use our brains instead, will defend that. You can make a child afraid, or make them respectful...JMO


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## Kung (Jan 19, 2004)

suzfromWi said:


> Those that believe spanking is necessary, will defend it. Those that think we could use our brains instead, will defend that.


Ah, the ol "We can do it your way...or we can do it the SMART way that requires one to use their brains." I guess the months of research (as in, reading books, asking questions, etc.) don't count.

While I have no intention of continued engagement ad infinitum on this topic with someone who is essentially implying those who spank aren't using their brains, I WILL simply say that this is one of those areas where we'll have to agree to disagree, mainly because, just as you can find evidence for your viewpoint, I can find (and have found) evidence for mine. You know, the scientific, empirical kind, the kind that requires one to use their brains. :gaptooth:

As far as taking more time, I've got plenty of patience; LOADS more, actually, than my wife. She's the one that fusses and yells. Yet as seldom as my wife finds it necessary to swat him on the behind, I have to do so much LESS. Interestingly enough, I do it less BECAUSE, while it is a last resort, there are some things that I DO swat/spank for, and those things are not for discussion. In other words, I'm very fair BUT I don't vacillate.

As far as fear goes, my son is absolutely NOT scared of me. He runs to see me when I get home, tells me he loves me, runs FOR me when he is frightened, and so on.



> You can make a child afraid, or make them respectful...JMO


My son is respectful of me and is NOT afraid of me, and that isn't opinion; it's fact. And it's not 'subjective' fact either - those who know me (church, work, school, etc.) SEE how I dote on my son, and how he loves me. You can call it defense of an unintelligent, controlling means of discipline if you want, however.


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## misplaced (Feb 20, 2009)

I never spanked my son in public. Whenever he acted up in a store I just grabbed his ear or the hair on the back of his neck with my two fingers and said... are you gonna stop? and he always did 
I didn't grab it hard or pull the hair, but I think he thought I would if he didn't listen.
Just like the counting... 1... 2..... I never, ever made it to 3, he had no idea what would happen if I got to 3 but he didn't want to find out.
I did spank him in private from time to time, even though that wasn't my preferred method, it was the most affective.


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## Mrs.Swirtz (Jan 13, 2009)

I think the most important thing with discipline is to follow through with what you say. If your always saying if they don't stop something then you will spank them or put them in timeout or whatever it is and then you don't , they know they can walk all over you. I was in the car with my nephew and his mother once when he was acting up very badly . She tried to reason with him to stop when that didn't work she told him that if he didn't stop she was going to spank him. When that didn't work she finally said in frustration that if he didn't stop that his Auntie was going to whoop his butt. He took one look at me and stopped and was good for the rest of the trip. LOL. Thats because he knew she wouldn't do anything that she was threatening but he knew that I would. Be consistant with whatever form of punishment that you use or they will push your buttons.


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## suzfromWi (Jun 1, 2002)

Im sorry if I stepped on toes here, but I DID say it was my opinion. Kung I do believe you love your kids very much, that wasnt my point. My point iS that there are other ways to disipline kids that work very well. They just take a bit more time then spanking. It takes thought to work out a disipline that will work constantly and for the long run. Teaching kids that this is the way to behave. If a person has to spank thru out childhood, then spanking isnt working for the long haul. Children need to have empathy, and honesty and respect enough for what you are teaching them, that it takes them thru their lifetime. Im sure there are very nice well behaved kids that have been spanked. Im also sure they would have also been this way, with the way I raised mine. I prefer not to hit someone so small. Thats just the way I feel.


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## LaManchaPaul (May 21, 2008)

When my children were young, I believed EXACTLY as *KUNG* now believes. In my ripe age, I believe EXACTLY as *suzfromWI* writes. Father/child love is unconditional, so it isn't a question of love or respect. Parents are teachers. 

My adult children now believe as they were reared, as will KUNG's children. Maturity and contemplation were slow at opening my eyes. In private conversations with friends and family about corporal punishment, I give anti-strike advice. For those unmoving parents (as I was in youth) I encourage that striking be used as the absolute last option. A parent should look for a teaching moment without violence. 

I am strongly opposed to corporal punishment in schools as it teaches the in-power being has permission with impunity to hit the weak.


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## suzfromWi (Jun 1, 2002)

I get so angry over this scenario..." I told you not to hit!" Spank. spank... It seems so many times, the spanking comes from frustration, at not getting the child to do what you want. Im sure there are some, that can spank for a reason, without an ulterior motive. As a teaching tool, but I still believe most spankings come when the parent is upset or angry. Lets say the parent gets annoyed bcause the child is acting up in public. They dont want people to think there child is bad, or that they are not in control of the situation. Whack!
Instead of that, I would take the child out of the store, and take them home if possible, Once they learn that this is what happens every time they misbehave in public...it would stop. They dont get rewarded for bad behavior, but they also dont get swatted, which when the swat is forgotten, the behavior returns...Good behavior is acknowledged, but only to a point. Good behavior should really be expected of them. Then throughout their childhood they see the behavior of the parents, doing things the right way. [Children learn what they live.] Children should behave because its the right thing...not because they,ll get a spanking if they dont. Again...JMO


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## misplaced (Feb 20, 2009)

suzfromWi said:


> Lets say the parent gets annoyed bcause the child is acting up in public. They dont want people to think there child is bad, or that they are not in control of the situation. Whack!
> Instead of that, I would take the child out of the store, and take them home if possible, Once they learn that this is what happens every time they misbehave in public...it would stop.


That is exactly what most people don't do. Heaven forbid the parent should disrupt their shopping to teach their kid a life lesson.
There were several instances I left my cart full of stuff sitting there to take my unruly child out of the store. Although he was so headstrong that he didn't let stuff like that bother him to much, and it didn't seem like he was learning much at the time.. except that if he didn't want to be in the store he could just act like a fool and we would leave right then and there.
The thing about my son is, he was a good kid, he was well behaved most of the time, but when we went into a store he became the devil. I actually started to think that the bright lights and chaotic decor of the store set something off in him that he couldn't control.... yea... I guess I had to tell myself something to make it not my fault 
I am proud to say that he is now a 19 year old, hard working young man with a good head on his shoulders and he has even told me that he can't believe I didn't spank him more often :hrm:


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## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

suzfromWi said:


> Im sorry if I stepped on toes here, but I DID say it was my opinion. Kung I do believe you love your kids very much, that wasnt my point. My point iS that there are other ways to disipline kids that work very well. They just take a bit more time then spanking. It takes thought to work out a disipline that will work constantly and for the long run. Teaching kids that this is the way to behave. If a person has to spank thru out childhood, then spanking isnt working for the long haul. Children need to have empathy, and honesty and respect enough for what you are teaching them, that it takes them thru their lifetime. Im sure there are very nice well behaved kids that have been spanked. Im also sure they would have also been this way, with the way I raised mine. I prefer not to hit someone so small. Thats just the way I feel.


suz, that's fine to feel the way you do, BUT I'm pretty sure everyone who has "admitted" to spanking has also made it REALLY CLEAR that spanking is one tool out of MANY in their tool box. And it's not the first tool pulled out neither. You can't judge "what would have worked" either just as good or better, unless you have walked in the other parents shoes with that child. I have two boys, one I could just give a stern look to and he would behave, the other one needed a far firmer hand to guide him. Just sayin, you have no idea what other parents are working with when you say you have all the brains.

I have a nephew that wasn't spanked because my SIL thought spanking was evil--though she sure had a cruel sharp tongue. She had/has no control and tried spanking him in desperation when he was around 8. He laughed at her and snatched the wooden spoon from her and chased HER around the house. He's 16 now, and when he doesn't get his way he picks up his baseball bat, brandishes it and gets his way. No father in the house btw. I feel really sorry for him, I hope he doesn't end up like his dad(jail time for two manslaughter and one murder).

My main point is that ANYTHING can be used to abuse a child, any discipline technique can be twisted and misused. I would have far rathered my mom would have spanked me than the tongue-lashing I would get from her--THOSE words she put in my head took a lot more effort to "get over" than being whacked.


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## jen74145 (Oct 31, 2006)

A 19 month old is not capable of "respect".

I am horrified. That is a BABY. I don't care which spanking camp you're in, you don't hit a baby. You get off your butt and act like a grown person with self control and wisdom.


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## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

jen74145 said:


> A 19 month old is not capable of "respect".
> 
> I am horrified. That is a BABY. I don't care which spanking camp you're in, you don't hit a baby. You get off your butt and act like a grown person with self control and wisdom.


sure they are, mine had their first respect lesson when they bit the booby that fed them. no I didn't spank them, but they learned real quick that what they did was NOT A GOOD THING.


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## salmonslayer (Jan 4, 2009)

It certainly is a controversial subject and as I said earlier, there is no one size fits all but I just could never hit my kids; it just felt very wrong. Now they tested me sorely at times and there were times I truly did not know what to do but we managed. My side of the family thinks we were overly strict even though we didnt spank because the kids all were taught to say "Yes Sir or No Ma'am", "Please and Thank you", and my personal pet peeve...instead of saying "What?" when you ask them something or call their name they were taught to say "Sir?" or "excuse me?". They also called adults by the formal "Mr Jones" or the less formal Mr John" so I guess its all in the eyes of those looking on. I certainly received my share of corporal punishment growing up and now days that would have resulted in someone going to jail...it was terrible.

I know that some parents can selectively use corporal punishment and that its a learning tool but how many times have you heard someone say "do you want to get hit?"..or "do you want me to blister your butt?" and I am never impressed with the folks that raise their hand in a threatening gesture towards their loved ones...unfortunately I see it all the time and these folks dont seem to understand that their kids are afraid of them..its sad..


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