# Corona Virus Related Humor



## Lisa in WA




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## Lisa in WA




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## Lisa in WA




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## no really




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## Lisa in WA

Oh, baby.


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## no really

Lisa in WA said:


> Oh, baby.


Gonna need a lot of soap


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## Lisa in WA




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## gleepish




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## no really




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## Lisa in WA




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## Bearfootfarm

no really said:


> Gonna need a lot of soap





no really said:


>


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## Bearfootfarm

Customers who ordered this product also ordered:


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## Bearfootfarm




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## Lisa in WA




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## Oregon1986

Mmmmm Jason Mamoa!!


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## gleepish




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## Lisa in WA




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## Lisa in WA




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## Bearfootfarm

Lisa in WA said:


> View attachment 84554


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## newfieannie

i dont think i can get no 16. what's supposed to be in the bottle? some funny stuff here though! it's either laugh or cry these days and it's much better to laugh ~Georgia


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## Lisa in WA

newfieannie said:


> i dont think i can get no 16. what's supposed to be in the bottle? some funny stuff here though! it's either laugh or cry these days and it's much better to laugh ~Georgia


I believe that’s moonshine in the jar. No virus getting past that.


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## newfieannie

okay . for sure. something like our nfld screech. that'll kill anything!


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## Lisa in WA

newfieannie said:


> okay . for sure. something like our nfld screech. that'll kill anything!


what is that?
I’ve had Poitín (potcheen) in Ireland in a farmers kitchen.
Whoa. Strong stuff. 

I found out recently that my grandfather and his brothers were moonshiners in Pennsylvania, of all places.
A band of wild Irishmen.


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## GTX63

newfieannie said:


> i dont think i can get no 16. what's supposed to be in the bottle? some funny stuff here though! it's either laugh or cry these days and it's much better to laugh ~Georgia


Also known as Virginia Creek Water.


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## Lisa in WA




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## mreynolds

Lisa in WA said:


> View attachment 84554


He's got the new version Corona 24.


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## Bearfootfarm

newfieannie said:


> i dont think i can get no 16. what's supposed to be in the bottle?


Moonshine.


> Moonshine was originally a slang term for high-proof distilled spirits that were usually produced illicitly, without government authorization. Distilling beverage alcohol outside of a registered distillery still remains illegal in the United States and most countries around the world.


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## Bearfootfarm

Oregon1986 said:


> Mmmmm Jason Mamoa!!


I heard he has long ear hair.


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## gleepish




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## Lisa in WA

A sign of the times! 
They could fill it with bread and milk for snowstorms and toilet paper for pestilence.


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## Oregon1986

Bearfootfarm said:


> I heard he has long ear hair.


That's OK he's sexy as hell


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## Elevenpoint

Lisa in WA said:


> View attachment 84554


Go Smudge!


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## mreynolds

Bearfootfarm said:


> I heard he has long ear hair.


From who????


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## Bearfootfarm

mreynolds said:


> From who????


I was sworn to secrecy.


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## mreynolds

Bearfootfarm said:


> I was sworn to secrecy.


Spit it out now, do you know Daenerys?


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## Bearfootfarm

mreynolds said:


> Spit it out now, do you know Daenerys?


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## gleepish




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## gleepish

One more...


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## Lisa in WA




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## rambler

Funny stuff.

I got one I like but it might cross some lines of a little too riske so I’ll just enjoy the ones here.


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## Evons hubby

rambler said:


> Funny stuff.
> 
> I got one I like but it might cross some lines of a little too riske so I’ll just enjoy the ones here.


My private conversation box is hard to upset... Please share.


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## Lisa in WA




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## mreynolds

Lisa in WA said:


> View attachment 84658


I think I saw someone that looked a lot like Trash can Man.


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## hardrock




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## hardrock




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## gleepish

__ https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=198079584795894


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## mzgarden

Just Touch Your Face, hilarious post-grocery store rant.


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## mzgarden

Saw this on facebook thread.....

So I said, "Hey, Arnold, where'd you get that toilet paper?"
He said, "Aisle B, back."


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## Bearfootfarm

mzgarden said:


> Just Touch Your Face, hilarious post-grocery store rant.


That should be required viewing on every newscast every day.


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## nehimama




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## Lisa in WA




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## GunMonkeyIntl

Is the toilet paper thing really that bad right now? I ended up not taking the stuff from the hotels I was in this week because it was all single-ply.

When I got home, I saw we only had one roll left, and I saw all the jokes about not being able to get it, so drove into town this morning. Dollar General had plenty of toilet paper. They even had the exact kind we used (actually a little cheaper than Amazon), so I bought a case of it.

Should I have bought two and put it on eBay?


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## Lisa in WA

GunMonkeyIntl said:


> Is the toilet paper thing really that bad right now? I ended up not taking the stuff from the hotels I was in this week because it was all single-ply.
> 
> When I got home, I saw we only had one roll left, and I saw all the jokes about not being able to get it, so drove into town this morning. Dollar General had plenty of toilet paper. They even had the exact kind we used (actually a little cheaper than Amazon), so I bought a case of it.
> 
> Should I have bought two and put it on eBay?


we had to get some yesterday and picked it up at Target. 
Charmin...same brand we always buy. 
But it was sold out at Costco last week.


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## Cornhusker




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## wr

GunMonkeyIntl said:


> Is the toilet paper thing really that bad right now? I ended up not taking the stuff from the hotels I was in this week because it was all single-ply.
> 
> When I got home, I saw we only had one roll left, and I saw all the jokes about not being able to get it, so drove into town this morning. Dollar General had plenty of toilet paper. They even had the exact kind we used (actually a little cheaper than Amazon), so I bought a case of it.
> 
> Should I have bought two and put it on eBay?


List it on Calgary kijiji for $50/roll plus shipping and you should be able to retire soon.


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## Bearfootfarm

wr said:


> List it on Calgary kijiji for $50/roll plus shipping and you should be able to retire soon.


Price gouging is illegal here during a "state of emergency".


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## nehimama




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## mreynolds

GunMonkeyIntl said:


> Is the toilet paper thing really that bad right now? I ended up not taking the stuff from the hotels I was in this week because it was all single-ply.
> 
> When I got home, I saw we only had one roll left, and I saw all the jokes about not being able to get it, so drove into town this morning. Dollar General had plenty of toilet paper. They even had the exact kind we used (actually a little cheaper than Amazon), so I bought a case of it.
> 
> Should I have bought two and put it on eBay?



Cant buy it on Amazon this afternoon I hear. Says not sure when or if it will be available.


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## gleepish

mreynolds said:


> Cant buy it on Amazon this afternoon I hear. Says not sure when or if it will be available.


I just looked... Amazon does still have toilet paper.  Some suppliers have sold out though.


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## GunMonkeyIntl

mreynolds said:


> Cant buy it on Amazon this afternoon I hear. Says not sure when or if it will be available.


I just checked again, and sources of Charmin Ultra-Strong have gone from available to not-available since then. 

Amazon is weird, though. I’ve seen them raise the prices on things I’ve looked at and decided not to buy right away enough times to know that they play games.


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## Lisa in WA




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## Hiro

nehimama said:


>


Gold, Jerry. That is just gold.


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## MO_cows

So we have a Chinese virus, named after a Mexican beer, causing Irish celebrations to cancel. Only in America!


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## Bearfootfarm




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## Danaus29

Bearfootfarm said:


> Price gouging is illegal here during a "state of emergency".


That doesn't apply to gas stations. Only private individuals. The gas stations used a term called "supply and demand". 

GunMonkey, I was in 2 stores today and saw only 3 four packs that someone must have dropped off their cart. 25 feet, 4 shelves high, just empty space. If you see it, buy it, while you can.

Lisa in WA, that made me laugh so hard I choked! Too funny!


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## po boy




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## Hiro

The joke is on me:


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## po boy

Checked my supply and have 5,680 sheets of two ply and if things get bad i can separate the plies and have over 11,000 sheets. I'll check the prices in 30 years..

I bought this house two years ago and there was one large roll of tp and one large roll paper towels like the ones used in public bathrooms... List on ebay?


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## Irish Pixie




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## wdcutrsdaughter

Pixie! omg, not funny haha


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## SLADE

I just puckered up a little.


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## Alice In TX/MO

The news is so bad here that WalMart has opened a second register.


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## melli

Corona is making a killing off the free advertising....
Although, I do like the 'light illness' tag.


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## mreynolds

Alice In TX/MO said:


> The news is so bad here that WalMart has opened a second register.


Dayum. That would be funny if it wasn't so true.


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## wr

Bearfootfarm said:


> Price gouging is illegal here during a "state of emergency".


Nobody has classified us as being in a state of emergency, except for those who lack toilet paper but just in case somebody does, sellers are getting smart. Now they're selling non essential items for $50 and giving away a free roll of toilet paper. Used lightbulbs, a spatula, a pair of used socks, a package of birthday candles and a can of cat food are some of the items currently being sold.


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## Lisa in WA

Hopefully, this isn’t against the rules.


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## Bearfootfarm

Danaus29 said:


> That doesn't apply to gas stations. Only private individuals. The gas stations used a term called "supply and demand".


It applies to everyone.


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## Bearfootfarm

Lisa in WA said:


> Hopefully, this isn’t against the rules.


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## Lisa in WA




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## Bearfootfarm

wr said:


> Nobody has classified us as being in a state of emergency, except for those who lack toilet paper but just in case somebody does, sellers are getting smart.


North Carolina declared one a couple of days ago.
Rumor is Trump will declare a National State of Emergency at 3:00 PM today.


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## manfred

They have refinery fire somewhere and gas goes up in 10 minutes. How is that not price gouging?


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## Bearfootfarm

manfred said:


> How is that not price gouging?


It's supply and demand.


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## Lisa in WA




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## HDRider

Funny stuff


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## D-BOONE

Since the new currency is toilet paper it will give a whole new meaning to 
*THATS A 2 roll job*


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## Lisa in WA

D-BOONE said:


> Since the new currency is toilet paper it will give a whole new meaning to
> *THATS A 2 roll job*


I wonder if we still had colored toilet paper, would it be worth more or less than plain white.


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## newfieannie

we still have pattern tp.and ptowels. i save it for company. i know i heard somewhere this morning about a roll of tp for 150 dollars. i told my son when he dropped in and he said it must have been a dream i had last night because of all of the talk about tp but i know i heard that somewhere. ~Georgia


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## SLADE

Lisa in WA said:


> View attachment 84720


That's awesome.I want some.


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## hardrock




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## devittjl




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## gleepish




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## Lisa in WA

gleepish said:


>


 I love this! ROTFL


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## hardrock




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## D-BOONE

*I may not know how to bake toilet paper*
But I do know how to brown one side.

*I just got some Sudoku toilet paper*
Sadly, I can't complete it because I can only fill it with #1s and #2s.

*I actually really like single ply toilet paper...*
It helps me stay in touch with my inner self.


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## HDRider




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## gleepish




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## devittjl




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## D-BOONE

*Theres no need to panic over the corona virus it cant last long its made in china.*


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## Lisa in WA




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## Lisa in WA




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## newfieannie

that's what my son told me a few hours ago and i know that's true. he couldn't wait to get back in the woods with his 2 dogs


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## D-BOONE

*JUST HEARD*
Chinese mail order brides are now 70% off with free shipping.


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## mzgarden

BREAKING: The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract Covid-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out


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## Danaus29

Bearfootfarm said:


> It applies to everyone.


It did not apply when gas was more than $5 a gallon, despite many lawsuits.



Bearfootfarm said:


> It's supply and demand.


Exactly. The question of price gouging was settled in federal court years ago. When there is no supply you can charge what you want. The precedent has been set.
https://abcnews.go.com/Business/story?id=86734&page=1
Besides, there is no "state of emergency", yet. It's only a "national emergency".


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## gleepish




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## Lisa in WA




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## po boy

My local Dollar General is well stocked with Toilet paper. Meanwhile for Walmart Shoppers.


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## Alice In TX/MO

My son’s car


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## Lisa in WA




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## Bearfootfarm

Danaus29 said:


> It did not apply when gas was more than $5 a gallon, despite many lawsuits.


Was there a state of emergency?



Danaus29 said:


> Besides,* there is no "state of emergency"*, yet. It's only a "national emergency"


Several states have declared emegencies.
A "national emergency" is a "state of emergency" but price gouging is typically covered under state laws.

*State of emergency - Wikipedia*
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/State_of_emergency








A state of emergency is a situation in which a government is empowered to perform actions or impose policies that it would normally not be permitted to undertake.


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## gleepish




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## Lisa in WA




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## newfieannie

now i know what to do with that drawer full of odd socks i got upstairs

this is some funny stuff i must say. i've laughed so much today sometimes i can hardly keep myself on the chair. it hasn't any arms either. it's a good thing. we could do with more laughs at a time like this ~Georgia


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## mreynolds

newfieannie said:


> now i know what to do with that drawer full of odd socks i got upstairs
> 
> this is some funny stuff i must say. i've laughed so much today sometimes i can hardly keep myself on the chair. it hasn't any arms either. it's a good thing. we could do with more laughs at a time like this ~Georgia


I agree Georgia. Even if it takes me out, at least I went with a smile on my face.


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## mreynolds

Lisa in WA said:


> View attachment 84744


Well *THAT* hits a little close to home.....


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## Bearfootfarm

The latest weapon in the War On COVID-19:


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## gleepish

__ https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=2992002044185509


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## Alice In TX/MO

That scenario happened at the Tractor Supply in Marble Falls the other day.


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## melli




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## melli




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## nehimama




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## newfieannie

regarding post 119: it's a wonder that didn't happen today in line at the grocery store when this woman did a soft cough(hayfever she said)


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## Evons hubby

This panic has gotten so bad you can rob a bank with a booger!


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## Irish Pixie




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## gleepish

Alice In TX/MO said:


> That scenario happened at the Tractor Supply in Marble Falls the other day.


I thought of that story when I saw the video, but I couldn't remember who posted it!


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## newfieannie

Omg IP! that one took me off the chair


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## devittjl

Chuck Norris was exposed to the Corona virus. The virus is in a 14 day quarantine


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## gleepish




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## Lisa in WA

Perfect for a homesteading forum.


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## hardrock




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## Lisa in WA

By a German photographer I follow:

https://www.johnwilhelm.ch/


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## hardrock




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## hardrock

*
I wonder if installing a bidet is cheaper than a roll of toilet paper right now?*


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## hardrock




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## hardrock




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## hardrock




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## Danaus29

Bearfootfarm said:


> Was there a state of emergency?
> 
> Several states have declared emegencies.
> A "national emergency" is a "state of emergency" but price gouging is typically covered under state laws.


It's still supply and demand. Price gouging prohibits price increases once a state of emergency is declared in most states. It also applies ONLY to necessary items like food and water. Gas and toilet paper are not necessary to survival. The laws are also largely unenforceable or are often declined for prosecution.


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## [email protected]

how to beat the tp shortage, get a catheter.


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## Bearfootfarm

Danaus29 said:


> It also applies ONLY to necessary items like food and water.


Laws vary by state,


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## sweetbabyjane

SBJ


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## alida




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## RibbyR




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## ladytoysdream

I found this on facebook this morning.









Barn find, All original.
No low ball offers we know what we have.


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## Lisa in WA

ladytoysdream said:


> I found this on facebook this morning.
> 
> View attachment 84802
> 
> 
> Barn find, All original.
> No low ball offers we know what we have.


I saw a version of that too.
I should have grabbed the old, mouse nibbled roll in our old outhouse before we sold our old place last summer!


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## ladytoysdream

Another facebook find .


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## melli

https://www.trendsmap.com/twitter/tweet/1236261373023313921


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## wr

Politics belong elsewhere.


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## newfieannie

i got an old hanger and tp too out in my outhouse but it's 40 miles away and i'm on lockdown


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## melli

My brother was visiting a work site on Friday, and the folks there said the porta-potties were raided for toilet paper, and the anti-bacterial dispensers were taken. 
My brother said folks normally avoid those things like the plague because they are rather filthy. He was aghast about the turn of events, but I couldn't stop laughing at the image of a night raid on port-potties. Trying to remember the last time I visited a porta-potty, and I distinctly remember the mission was not to touch anything! Those things are the Baskin Robbins of bacteria flavors. 
When push comes to shove, folks will do just about anything. 
Now, I am imagining what those folks are thinking, at home, with their loot. Would take a lot of disinfectant to make one feel comfortable about using a porta-potty disinfectant dispenser.


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## po boy

I was in Home Depot a couple days ago and they had tons of paper towels and rolls of shop rags of at the entrance. u can stock up on stock up on stuff like that at auto parts places also. When I bought this place two years ago there was one large roll of toilet paper and one large roll of the paper towels that is used in public bathrooms. I stuck it in my ship building and just moved it back into the house.
Stocking up with this wouldn't take a lot of room and save it situations like this. I think they will deliver it for free...


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## mreynolds

melli said:


> My brother was visiting a work site on Friday, and the folks there said the porta-potties were raided for toilet paper, and the anti-bacterial dispensers were taken.
> My brother said folks normally avoid those things like the plague because they are rather filthy. He was aghast about the turn of events, but I couldn't stop laughing at the image of a night raid on port-potties. Trying to remember the last time I visited a porta-potty, and I distinctly remember the mission was not to touch anything! Those things are the Baskin Robbins of bacteria flavors.
> When push comes to shove, folks will do just about anything.
> Now, I am imagining what those folks are thinking, at home, with their loot. Would take a lot of disinfectant to make one feel comfortable about using a porta-potty disinfectant dispenser.


Not humorous at all but when I do a job on college campus I have the "litter" gitter come clean them first thing Monday morning before work. You* do not* want to know what goes on during the weekend in those things on campus. They charge extra to put them out on campus too.

People are crazy......

ETA: I understand why they shut down the colleges first.


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## nehimama




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## nehimama




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## Lisa in WA

https://media.discordapp.net/attach...88054233228247123/GIF-2020-03-13-13-37-21.gif


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## Lisa in WA




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## Lisa in WA




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## mreynolds

nehimama said:


>


Is that a return air grill by the commode? 

sheesh.


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## nehimama




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## Irish Pixie




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## nehimama




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## Irish Pixie




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## Lisa in WA




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## nehimama




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## nehimama

American ingenuity at it's finest.


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## nehimama




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## po boy

View attachment 84834


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## po boy

For Nehi and Alice


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## Alice In TX/MO

Omg. This is perfect. ❤


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## Cornhusker




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## HDRider

Struck me as funny, or odd

In one of the more unusual incidents being attributed to the new coronavirus outbreak, a turf war between dozens of street monkeys and temple monkeys broke out in Thailand's historic city of Lopburi on Thursday (March 12). According to city residents, the furry fracas likely resulted from a sharp dip in tourism to the 800-year-old city — and thus a dip in free food offerings to thousands of local monkeys.


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## Bearfootfarm

HDRider said:


> Struck me as funny, or odd
> 
> In one of the more unusual incidents being attributed to the new coronavirus outbreak, a turf war between dozens of street monkeys and temple monkeys broke out in Thailand's historic city of Lopburi on Thursday (March 12). According to city residents, the furry fracas likely resulted from a sharp dip in tourism to the 800-year-old city — and thus a dip in free food offerings to thousands of local monkeys.


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## melli

Google translation: 
Done now we only need noodles

I personally don't get it...and I'd feel uncomfortable sitting on that throne...one false move, and an avalanche.


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## nehimama




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## nehimama




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## nehimama




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## nehimama




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## Bearfootfarm

Just in case the TP runs out:


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## Lisa in WA

Getting harder to see the humor in this, but...


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## mzgarden




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## Lisa in WA




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## mzgarden

Every year I try to grow something new -- this year, this one seemed right to try


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## MichaelZ

My favorite so far!


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## Lisa in WA




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## nehimama




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## Lisa in WA




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## mreynolds

Lisa in WA said:


> View attachment 84944


You could also throw in a little trig when you measure how far he went.


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## Lisa in WA

mreynolds said:


> You could also throw in a little trig when you measure how far he went.


There you go.


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## Alice In TX/MO

And first aid.


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## mreynolds

Alice In TX/MO said:


> And first aid.


Maybe even anatomy.


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## po boy




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## Bearfootfarm

mreynolds said:


> You could also throw in a little trig when you measure how far he went.


I'd be more willing to bet it breaks the board due to inertia.


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## po boy




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## Bearfootfarm




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## nehimama

$50/bale. Local pickup only.


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## nehimama




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## light rain

Lisa in WA said:


> View attachment 84944



Bored kids are never a good situation...


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## Bearfootfarm

light rain said:


> Bored kids are never a good situation...


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## nehimama




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## nehimama




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## nehimama




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## nehimama




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## nehimama




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## nehimama




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## light rain

Bearfootfarm said:


> View attachment 84994


I would hide all scissors 'cause prolonged boredom seems to spawn haircuts either on siblings, themselves or dogs and cats...


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## nehimama




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## nehimama




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## nehimama




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## nehimama




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## nehimama




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## nehimama




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## nehimama




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## nehimama




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## nehimama




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## nehimama

oops. dup.


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## po boy

Wrong Photo!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## nehimama




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## nehimama




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## gleepish




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## nehimama




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## GTX63




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## nehimama

GTX63 said:


> I'm dying over here!


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## MO_cows

So there!


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## Lisa in WA

Am I right?


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## po boy




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## po boy

And I thought i had a brown thumb!


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## nehimama




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## alida




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## alida




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## MO_cows

True dat


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## Irish Pixie




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## gleepish




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## po boy




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## po boy




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## mzgarden




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## mzgarden




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## Lisa in WA




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## Bearfootfarm

In WWI Americans were asked to fight in the trenches and they did it without complaining.

In WWII Americans were asked to fight in Europe and the Pacific and they did it without complaining.

Now Americans are being asked to simply stay at home a couple of weeks , not go to work, and not go to school and they are whining like babies.


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## nehimama




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## nehimama




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## nehimama




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## nehimama




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## nehimama




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## nehimama




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## nehimama




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## nehimama




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## nehimama




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## Shrek

While not meant to be funny, last week when we saw a Covid 19 cleaning PSA showing a smiling woman wearing yellow kitchen gloves spraying and wiping her counter with her gloved right hand while holding her infant with the left yellow gloved hand as the narrator spoke of the importance of sanitary spaying and wiping household counters and surfaces , I said "if she knew what germs she was popping up with the spray before wiping the counter, she wouldn't be smiling about the kid a foot away from the counter on her hip. The baby should be 6 to 10 feet away as she cleans."


Girlfriend topped me by saying "or at least have the kid wearing a onesie P-95 mask and duct tape sealed goggled haz mat suit as she cleans." LOL

We have watched that channel a few days since and we haven't seen that public service advertisement since. I guess the CDC got some calls and some PSA producer or aid said "Oops, that commercial doesn't get the point across as well as we thought it would.


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## Irish Pixie




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## MO_cows

Can anyone relate?


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## susieneddy

My DW found these and they are funny. Sit back and watch. Hopefully there won't be an ad before the video


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## nehimama




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## Alice In TX/MO




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## nehimama




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## MO_cows




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## po boy




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## popscott




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## Lisa in WA




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## emdeengee

My friend sent me these messages which I unfortunately could not copy but here they are:

I used to spin the toilet roll as if I were a contestant on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I am cracking a safe.

You thought dogs were hard to train. Look at all the humans who can't sit and stay.


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## nehimama




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## nehimama




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## Mish




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## melli




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## mzgarden

ok, next Senior's only shopping day, here I come. My cart will be under the skirt, so my stuff will be social distancing too.


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## Hiro




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## Elevenpoint

Could be a hoax


----------



## Lisa in WA




----------



## 101pigs

mzgarden said:


> ok, next Senior's only shopping day, here I come. My cart will be under the skirt, so my stuff will be social distancing too.


You could hide a lot of things under there.


----------



## po boy




----------



## nehimama




----------



## nehimama




----------



## nehimama




----------



## nehimama




----------



## nehimama

My parents always told me I won't accomplish anything by laying in bed all day.

But just look at me now, I'm saving the world. Random person on Twitter


----------



## nehimama




----------



## nehimama




----------



## nehimama




----------



## emdeengee

A British sports broadcaster is so bored at home that he has been making commentary videos about all that he sees in his home and outside the window including kids crossing the road and now his dogs eating their food. So funny and clever.

digg.com/2020/please-enjoy-this-bbc-sports-broadcaster-doing-commentary-on-his-dogs-racing-to-eat-their-food


----------



## nehimama




----------



## po boy




----------



## mreynolds

nehimama said:


>


You mean we will turn into FLORIDA????


----------



## Lisa in WA




----------



## Bearfootfarm

nehimama said:


>


What if you're a civet?


----------



## Bearfootfarm

101pigs said:


> You *could* hide a lot of things under there.


She is already.


----------



## nchobbyfarm

This is the longest something made in China has ever lasted


----------



## Lisa in WA




----------



## po boy




----------



## po boy




----------



## po boy




----------



## emdeengee

I want my groceries delivered this way. Looks just like our dog Quila.

www.cnn.com/videos/us/2020/03/30/woman-trains-dog-deliver-groceries-neighbor-medical-conditions-pkg-vpx.kktv


----------



## nehimama

The government has called on retired nuns to help enforce social distancing.


----------



## po boy

OOPS!


----------



## Hiro




----------



## po boy




----------



## po boy




----------



## Evons hubby

Not funny but worth sharing.... We were just notified that our governor is shutting down all liquor stores as of 8:00 pm tonite. Without even checking our cabinets I sent our express rider to town shopping! About the time he was buying a couple cases of various jugs we got word it was just a prank. Oh well, it won't rot. We are just better prepared.


----------



## Hiro

Yvonne's hubby said:


> Not funny but worth sharing.... We were just notified that our governor is shutting down all liquor stores as of 8:00 pm tonite. Without even checking our cabinets I sent our express rider to town shopping! About the time he was buying a couple cases of various jugs we got word it was just a prank. Oh well, it won't rot. We are just better prepared.


----------



## nehimama

Don't lie. You sang it, didn't you?


----------



## nchobbyfarm

Day 9 of the quarantine. The dog just looked at me like, see, this is why I chew on the furniture!


----------



## nehimama




----------



## nehimama

nchobbyfarm said:


> Day 9 of the quarantine. The dog just looked at me like, see, this is why I chew on the furniture!


And poop behind the sofa!


----------



## po boy




----------



## ladytoysdream

Saw this on facebook today.


----------



## Danaus29

po boy said:


> View attachment 85452


Better that than _War of the Roses_!


----------



## nchobbyfarm

Homeschooling update:

My child just said he hopes he doesn't get the same teacher next year.


----------



## Mish




----------



## Mish




----------



## mreynolds

Mish said:


>


Was that by design Mish that you put a meme about a cat right after Shrodinger?


----------



## Mish

mreynolds said:


> Was that by design Mish that you put a meme about a cat right after Shrodinger?


----------



## nchobbyfarm

I just saw a news report about the stress and strain of self isolation. It reported that people are going crazy from being in lock down!
It was strange, actually, because I had just been talking about this with the microwave and toaster and all of us agreed that things are getting bad. I didn't mention anything to the washing machine as she always has to put a different spin on everything and certainly not to the fridge as he is acting cold and distant. In the end the iron calmed me down. She said everything will be fine, which surprised me because she’s usually the first one to apply unnecessary pressure and get steamed up over nothing !!! I think she might have been sneaking off to the medicine cabinet.


----------



## Irish Pixie

__ https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=3433258226689914


----------



## Mish

Irish Pixie said:


> __ https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=3433258226689914


How'd you get a video of me?


----------



## Mish




----------



## Lisa in WA




----------



## nehimama

Anyone else's car getting 3 weeks to the gallon at the moment ?


----------



## Irish Pixie




----------



## Irish Pixie

Married couples during quarantine




__ https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=899914027121797


----------



## Irish Pixie




----------



## Bearfootfarm




----------



## Irish Pixie




----------



## nehimama




----------



## Bearfootfarm




----------



## mzgarden




----------



## nchobbyfarm

You can't fix stupid. It turns out you can't quarantine it either!


----------



## nchobbyfarm

People keep asking me if Covid 19 is serious. I tell them that the churches and the casinos are closed. When heaven and hell agree on something. It's pretty serious!


----------



## HDRider

mreynolds said:


> I believe you but I have never heard of it. Was it around in the 80's? I don't recall seeing it up there then but I am not a very big ice cream eater either.


I just looked it up. I discovered it a few years ago while working up there.

*Not so long ago...*








In 1980, the Frey brothers took the biggest step in the life of the dairy by expanding its ice cream production. Turkey Hill Ice Cream quickly became a favorite in local Lancaster County stores.

In 1981, they persuaded a few independent stores in the Philadelphia area to give "Turkey Who?" a try. Philadelphians loved it. The ice cream was always good, but priced so everyone could enjoy it. Light ice cream soon followed. Then frozen yogurt.

Little by little, this tiny dairy became a favorite in some of the country's biggest markets.

*A long time ago...*
More than 85 years ago, in the southern end of Pennsylvania Dutch Country, Armor Frey started each day by watching the sunrise from the top of Turkey Hill. Then he'd toss a few bottles of milk into the back of his touring sedan and set off to sell them to his neighbors. It was the Great Depression, and every penny helped.

https://www.turkeyhill.com/about/history


----------



## mreynolds

HDRider said:


> I just looked it up. I discovered it a few years ago while working up there.
> 
> *Not so long ago...*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> In 1980, the Frey brothers took the biggest step in the life of the dairy by expanding its ice cream production. Turkey Hill Ice Cream quickly became a favorite in local Lancaster County stores.
> 
> In 1981, they persuaded a few independent stores in the Philadelphia area to give "Turkey Who?" a try. Philadelphians loved it. The ice cream was always good, but priced so everyone could enjoy it. Light ice cream soon followed. Then frozen yogurt.
> 
> Little by little, this tiny dairy became a favorite in some of the country's biggest markets.
> 
> *A long time ago...*
> More than 85 years ago, in the southern end of Pennsylvania Dutch Country, Armor Frey started each day by watching the sunrise from the top of Turkey Hill. Then he'd toss a few bottles of milk into the back of his touring sedan and set off to sell them to his neighbors. It was the Great Depression, and every penny helped.
> 
> https://www.turkeyhill.com/about/history


When I was a kid we made our own and if we had some cha-ching we bought Borden. We were sharecroppers so we didn't get Borden very often. After I got grown(ish) as a teenager I went to six flags. That was my first taste of Blue Bell and I fell in love. Better than the homemade I had and much much better than Borden. I've tried others but so far haven't found one quite so good. Some come very close though. It is probably because of that first taste I guess.


----------



## mreynolds

nchobbyfarm said:


> People keep asking me if Covid 19 is serious. I tell them that the churches and the casinos are closed. When heaven and hell agree on something. It's pretty serious!


There is a _Highway to Hell _and a_ Stairway to Heaven_. 

Does that reflect projected numbers?


----------



## nchobbyfarm

mreynolds said:


> There is a _Highway to Hell _and a_ Stairway to Heaven_.
> 
> Does that reflect projected numbers?


Sounds about right to me!


----------



## Alice In TX/MO

Blue Bell has caved to economics and use high fructose corn syrup.


----------



## nchobbyfarm

Why was my post about fixing verses quarantining stupidity deleted?


----------



## wr

nchobbyfarm said:


> Why was my post about fixing verses quarantining stupidity deleted?


Sorry, I mistakenly deleted it along with some others but it's restored now, with my apologies.


----------



## mreynolds

Alice In TX/MO said:


> Blue Bell has caved to economics and use high fructose corn syrup.


I bought some Blue Bell last year, (Not much of an ice cream fanatic) and found that it wasn't the same. I didnt realize it was turned over to the dark side of HFCS.

Sheesh

The world is coming to an end.

What happened to happy Jersey cows? When I make ice cream I use Promise Land milk as it is all Jersey. At least it a reasonable facsimile anyway. I dont have a milk cow anymore.


----------



## HDRider

Alice In TX/MO said:


> Blue Bell has caved to economics and use high fructose corn syrup.


The thing I look at on ice cream is the number of ingredients. Vanilla and chocolate should have very few. Turkey Hill has the minimum. I wish they listed their ingredients on the web.

My wife makes super ice cream. Putting lots of eggs in there seems to be the ticket. 

Fructose corn syrup is poison.


----------



## po boy

Not humorous, but will bring a smile to your face



__ https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=2900587103366735


----------



## Mish




----------



## itsb

mreynolds said:


> When I was a kid we made our own and if we had some cha-ching we bought Borden. We were sharecroppers so we didn't get Borden very often. After I got grown(ish) as a teenager I went to six flags. That was my first taste of Blue Bell and I fell in love. Better than the homemade I had and much much better than Borden. I've tried others but so far haven't found one quite so good. Some come very close though. It is probably because of that first taste I guess.


I did not realize you were black, the way the news says, I though only blacks were sharecroppers and picked cotton. my bad, I though I could trust CNN


----------



## HDRider

itsb said:


> I did not realize you were black, the way the news says, I though only blacks were sharecroppers and picked cotton. my bad, I though I could trust CNN


There are a few of us


----------



## HDRider




----------



## HermitJohn




----------



## mreynolds

itsb said:


> I did not realize you were black, the way the news says, I though only blacks were sharecroppers and picked cotton. my bad, I though I could trust CNN


There were mostly blacks but also poor whites and immigrants too. Everyone's second mother was black as she stayed home with the kids. All of us. Thanks to John Deere there are no more sharecroppers. Not a bad thing. The oil field pulled most of our parents out in Texas. 

Here is a list of news mainstream media that you can trust........

.....
.....


----------



## Alice In TX/MO

I have no idea about the black/sharecropper thread drift, but my father’s family were sharecroppers south of Austin. 

My husband’s family all picked cotton by hand, pulling sacks behind them. 

That lifestyle is not that long ago.


----------



## po boy

There was a sharecropper family about a half-mile from where I grew up and we did pick some cotton. That bag is a pia. The sharecropper's house didn't have electricity and the well was on the back porch. He charged our father a quarter for a haircut using those old hand power clippers. I think he pulled out more hair than he cut. Guess that's why I am bald today, or is that solar-powered. I can remember him cutting my hair in the winter and he would walk over to the fireplace and spit tobacco on the fire. His daughter was about my sisters' age and they are good friends.


----------



## nehimama




----------



## nehimama




----------



## nehimama




----------



## nehimama




----------



## Mish




----------



## Mish




----------



## Lisa in WA




----------



## Lisa in WA




----------



## nehimama




----------



## nehimama




----------



## Bearfootfarm

nehimama said:


>


----------



## Bearfootfarm




----------



## Bearfootfarm




----------



## Lisa in WA




----------



## Bearfootfarm

Lisa in WA said:


> View attachment 85680


----------



## Mish




----------



## po boy




----------



## po boy




----------



## po boy




----------



## Lisa in WA




----------



## nchobbyfarm

Whoever said one person cannot change the world never ate an undercooked bat.


----------



## Mish




----------



## Mish




----------



## Lisa in WA




----------



## Lisa in WA




----------



## Mish




----------



## po boy




----------



## po boy




----------



## Mish




----------



## po boy




----------



## po boy




----------



## Mish




----------



## po boy




----------



## po boy

​


----------



## po boy




----------



## whiterock

that pic does things to my innards


----------



## nehimama




----------



## nehimama




----------



## nehimama




----------



## nehimama




----------



## nehimama




----------



## nehimama

Tomorrow is the National Homeschool Tornado Drill. Lock your kids in a closet until you give the all clear.
You’re welcome.


----------



## nehimama




----------



## nehimama




----------



## Danaus29

whiterock said:


> that pic does things to my innards


You and me both! I get the willies riding in a glass elevator that goes up only 1 floor!


----------



## Lisa in WA




----------



## popscott




----------



## HDRider




----------



## Eagle_and_hawk




----------



## Eagle_and_hawk




----------



## Eagle_and_hawk




----------



## nehimama




----------



## nehimama




----------



## nehimama




----------



## Bearfootfarm




----------



## Irish Pixie




----------



## mreynolds

Irish Pixie said:


>


Been looking all my life for a trailer hitch that doesn't bite.


----------



## Redlands Okie

Good luck and send me a picture of it when you fine one


----------



## MO_cows




----------



## HDRider

From an anonymous UPS delivery driver…

5 types of customers since the “rona”:

1)* Steve*: He has been waiting for this moment his whole life. He has been drinking boilermakers since 10:00 am in his recliner and his AR is within arms reach. He has 6 months provisions in the basement and a bug out bag due west buried in the woods. Steve demands a handshake as I give him his package. He’s sizing me up as I deliver his ammo. Steve will survive this, and he will kill you if he needs to.


----------



## HDRider

2)* Brad:* He is standing at his window wearing skinny jeans and a Patagonia t-shirt. He is mad because there were no organic tomatoes at Whole Foods today. He points at the ground where he has taped a 6 ft no go zone line from his porch. I leave his case of Fuji water, organic granola bites, and his new “Bernie Bro” hat at the tape. Brad will not survive. Steve will probably eat him.

3) *Nancy:* She has sprayed everything with Thieves oil. Bought all the Clorox wipes, hand sanitizer, toilet paper, meat, and bread from the local grocery chain. She has quarantined her kids and sprays them with a mixture of thieves, lavender, & mint essential oils daily. She has posted every link known to man about “The Rona” on her social media. She will spray you if you break the 6 ft rule. I will leave her yet another case of toilet paper. She will last longer than Brad, but not Steve.


----------



## HDRider

4) *Karen:* She has called everybody and read them the latest news on “The Rona”. She asked for the manager at Food Lion, Walmart, Publix, McDonald’s, Chi-Fil-A, and Vons all before noon demanding more toilet paper. Karen’s kids are currently faking “The Rona” to avoid her. I’m delivering “Hello Kitchen” to her. Karen will not survive longer than Brad.

5) *Mary:* Is sitting in the swing watching her kids have a water balloon fight in the front yard as she is on her fourth glass of wine. She went to the store and bought 2 cases of pop tarts, 6 boxes of cereal, 8 bags of pizza rolls, And a 6 roll pack of toilet paper. There is a playlist of Bob Marley, Pink Floyd, and Post Malone playing in the background. I’m bringing her second shipment of 15 bottles of wine in 3 days. Mary will survive and marry Steve. Together they will repopulate the earth.

https://www.theorganicprepper.com/observations-anonymous-ups-driver/


----------



## Evons hubby

Redlands Okie said:


> Good luck and send me a picture of it when you fine one


https://www.etrailer.com/Bumper/Wes...MIlOHA--3m6AIVdeW1Ch1lQg9XEAQYASABEgJuk_D_BwE


----------



## GTX63




----------



## Mish




----------



## Evons hubby

Mish said:


>


Not what they wanna hear!


----------



## Nimrod

Lisa in WA said:


> View attachment 85858


In two more weeks at the most you will know if you are preggers.


----------



## Evons hubby

Nimrod said:


> In two more weeks at the most you will know if you are preggers.


I'm fairly certain I have escaped that fate.


----------



## mreynolds

Yvonne's hubby said:


> https://www.etrailer.com/Bumper/Wes...MIlOHA--3m6AIVdeW1Ch1lQg9XEAQYASABEgJuk_D_BwE


I think even that one would find a way to get me.


----------



## nehimama




----------



## nehimama




----------



## nehimama




----------



## nchobbyfarm

The spread of the corona virus is based on two factors.

1- How dense the population is.
2- How dense the population is.


----------



## nchobbyfarm

Then someone said I made a mistake and wrote the same thing twice. Then asked what the other factor was.

I told them they were #2.


----------



## nehimama




----------



## nehimama




----------



## nehimama




----------



## nehimama




----------



## nehimama




----------



## po boy

nehimama said:


>


And keep you mask on.


----------



## MO_cows

Must read out loud!

Day 1 – I Can Do This!! Got enough food and wine to last a month!
Day 2 – Opening my 8th bottle of Wine. I fear wine supplies might not last!
Day 3 – Strawberries: Some have 210 seeds, some have 235 seeds. Who Knew??
Day 4 – 8:00pm. Removed my Day Pajamas and put on my Night Pajamas.
Day 5 – Today, I tried to make Hand Sanitizer. It came out as Jello Shots!!
Day 6 – I get to take the Garbage out. I’m So excited, I can’t decide what to wear.
Day 7 – Laughing way too much at my own jokes!!
Day 8 – Went to a new restaurant called “The Kitchen”. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have No clue how this place is still in business.
Day 9 – I put liquor bottles in every room. Tonight, I’m getting all dressed up and going Bar hopping.
Day 10 – Struck up a conversation with a Spider today. Seems nice. He’s a Web Designer.
Day 11 – Isolation is hard. I swear my fridge just said, “What the hell do you want now?”
Day 12 – I realized why dogs get so excited about something moving outside, going for walks or car rides. I think I just barked at a squirrel.
Day 13 – If you keep a glass of wine in each hand, you can’t accidently touch your face.
Day 14 – Watched the birds fight over a worm. The Cardinals lead the Blue Jays 3–1.
Day 15 – Anybody else feel like they’ve cooked dinner about 395 times this month?”
Day 16-learned coffee filters and dryer sheets twice as absorbent as toilet paper.


----------



## mzgarden




----------



## FoldPV

nehimama said:


>


You forgot to add some newspapers  ahaha


----------



## nehimama




----------



## po boy




----------



## mzgarden




----------



## nehimama




----------



## whiterock

Both my grandmas were long gone when the price is right first aired. they didn't have ac, though, and there were a lot of blackeyed pea shelling going on. when the corn was ready, we went to the corn patch each morning and filled 3 or 4 burlap sacks with roasting ears, then I would sit on the west side of the house and shuck and silk it. Take in to Momma, then go back to the field. Momma would cut some off the cob, and cook some on the cob. Freeze up containers/ bags and get ready for the next days supply to be brought in.


----------



## nchobbyfarm

How messed up is it that Cinco De Mayo finally falls on taco Tuesday and will get messed up by a virus with the same name as a Mexican beer!


----------



## wdcutrsdaughter




----------



## nehimama




----------



## mreynolds

wdcutrsdaughter said:


>


That's funny right there.


----------



## nehimama




----------



## nehimama




----------



## nehimama




----------



## melli

Today marks 3 weeks of lockdown and 3 weeks since starting my diet without sugar, meat, dairy or alcohol and walking 3 miles a day. The change I have noticed in myself has been great! I have adopted a healthy plant based diet, gluten free, caffeine free and sugar free. So far I have lost 20lb of fat and gained muscle mass ❤

I have no idea whose text this is, but I am proud of them so decided to copy and paste it!


----------



## nehimama




----------



## nehimama




----------



## nehimama




----------



## po boy




----------



## po boy




----------



## Lisa in WA




----------



## Lisa in WA

po boy said:


> View attachment 86052


I can just hear that in my head...”Come on down!”
I didn’t even know it was still around till my sister in law and her sisters got tickets to the studio audience and did the whole dress up thing.


----------



## HermitJohn




----------



## Lisa in WA




----------



## MO_cows




----------



## Lisa in WA




----------



## po boy




----------



## po boy

po boy said:


> View attachment 86214


I think I would end up blowing it up my nose.


----------



## po boy




----------



## HermitJohn

Lisa in WA said:


> View attachment 86160


I sure could long as I have mail delivery and either productive garden or grocery delivery (they can drop it at door and run far as I am concerned). I seriously procrastinate long as possible to avoid trip to town for groceries and its not fear of a virus. Gets to silly point where I have cabbage core and a half spoiled onion and creativity with what I have is finally at an end.


----------



## MO_cows




----------



## sweetbabyjane

SBJ


----------



## susieneddy




----------



## susieneddy

__ https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=1707797636029528


----------



## Bearfootfarm




----------



## nchobbyfarm

Has France already surrendered?


----------



## Alice In TX/MO

To the biological attack from China?


----------



## susieneddy




----------



## HDRider

Alice In TX/MO said:


> To the biological attack from China?


Is that what it is?


----------



## po boy

HDRider said:


> Is that what it is?


The prior post was about how far germans travel when someone sneezes.


----------



## HDRider

po boy said:


> The prior post was about how far germans travel when someone sneezes.


It is hard to tell with the sky talkers


----------



## nchobbyfarm

Alice In TX/MO said:


> To the biological attack from China?


My apologies. I figured a joke about France surrendering immediately following a joke about Germans would make sense. Obviously it didn't.


----------



## Mish




----------



## Bearfootfarm

Mish said:


>



View attachment 86356
View attachment 86356
View attachment 86356
View attachment 86356
View attachment 86356


----------



## HDRider

Mish said:


>


That is not only funny, it is the cold hard truth


----------



## TraderBob

Shopkeeper: Wear a mask in the store or I won't sell you anything.
Customer: If I wear a mask in the store, I'm not paying for anything...your choice.


----------



## MO_cows




----------



## nehimama

*Prayers and donations needed, could someone start a GoFundMe for me? *


----------



## nehimama




----------



## nehimama




----------



## Bearfootfarm




----------



## nehimama




----------



## macmad




----------



## macmad




----------



## po boy




----------



## po boy




----------



## po boy




----------



## Evons hubby

po boy said:


> View attachment 86456


Bwaaaahaha!


----------



## po boy

View attachment 86458


----------



## nehimama




----------



## nehimama




----------



## nehimama




----------



## nehimama




----------



## susieneddy

nehimama said:


>


The guy who asked King that question likes to troll people


----------



## Mish




----------



## nehimama




----------



## nehimama




----------



## po boy




----------



## Bearfootfarm




----------



## TraderBob




----------



## macmad




----------



## macmad




----------



## nehimama




----------



## nehimama




----------



## Bearfootfarm

@HDRider This made me think of Kook Skytalker:


----------



## SLADE

possible cure found on farm.


----------



## MO_cows




----------



## MO_cows




----------



## reneedarley

In Sweden people are expected to be sensible during the pandemic. On the 30 April there are normally huge celebrations, bonfires to help send all the witches on their way to the annual witch convention in Germany !!!. One celebration which normally draws thousands of spectators is being discouraged by the council spreading tons of hen manure on the lawns around the bonfire.


----------



## Eagle_and_hawk




----------



## Eagle_and_hawk




----------



## nehimama




----------



## emdeengee

The drop in gasoline prices is like a bald man winning a hairbrush.

It is like being 16 again. Gas is cheap and I'm grounded.

Paranoia has reach absurd stages. I sneezed in front of my laptop and the anti-virus started a scan on its own.

Glad I didn't waste my money buying a 2020 planner.

Until further notice the days or the week are called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday.


----------



## Eagle_and_hawk




----------



## Eagle_and_hawk




----------



## Lisa in WA

reneedarley said:


> In Sweden people are expected to be sensible during the pandemic. On the 30 April there are normally huge celebrations, bonfires to help send all the witches on their way to the annual witch convention in Germany !!!. One celebration which normally draws thousands of spectators is being discouraged by the council spreading tons of hen manure on the lawns around the bonfire.


Walpurgisnacht/Hexennacht just won’t be the same this year.


----------



## HermitJohn




----------



## Lisa in WA

Pandemic Parenting


----------



## haypoint

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Father+&+Son+(Cat+Stevens+Lockdown+Parody

Funny version of an old Cat Stevens song.


----------



## Irish Pixie




----------



## alida




----------



## MO_cows




----------



## Bearfootfarm




----------



## nehimama




----------



## nehimama




----------



## nehimama




----------



## HermitJohn

New beach fashion to keep the men at least six foot away when beaches reopen. https://designtaxi.com/news/409706/Bizarre-Donald-Trump-Bikini-Is-Bound-To-Make-America-Grate-Again/ Yes its real, their is link on above page if you want one for mere $50.


----------



## Bearfootfarm




----------



## Mish




----------



## Bearfootfarm




----------



## mreynolds

Bearfootfarm said:


> View attachment 86828


My bets on Kenny.


----------



## Bearfootfarm




----------



## sweetbabyjane

SBJ


----------



## Mish




----------



## Bearfootfarm




----------



## Mish




----------



## Alice In TX/MO




----------



## HermitJohn

Alice In TX/MO said:


> View attachment 86888


Can I pick a new avatar? Cause my current one is too old.


----------



## nchobbyfarm

A local church sign....

AS FOR ME AND MY HOUSE
WE SHALL STAY AT HOME!
1 ISOLATIONS 24/7
11:00 ON YOU TUBE


----------



## mreynolds

Alice In TX/MO said:


> View attachment 86888


It's not easy being Dr. Bravestone.


----------



## HDRider




----------



## Mish




----------



## Lisa in WA




----------



## Lisa in WA

Mish said:


>



This ad takes on new meaning during the pandemic. It’s been around for a while but still makes me laugh.


----------



## nehimama




----------



## nehimama




----------



## nehimama




----------



## HermitJohn

mreynolds said:


> It's not easy being Dr. Bravestone.


Yea, during your "smoulder fits", be hard to keep the women 6ft away.

I think I got a cross between the map guy and the backpack guy. No stamina and cake would kill me.


----------



## Mish

Lisa in WA said:


> This ad takes on new meaning during the pandemic. It’s been around for a while but still makes me laugh.


Still laughing, so much comedy gold that I haven't seen before! That was great, thank you lol


----------



## emdeengee

I’m as bored as an Amish electrician.

~~~~~

Ontario has banned groups larger than 5.

If you’re a family of 6, you’re all about to find out who’s the least favorite!

~~~~~

The longer this goes on, the harder it will be to return to a society where pants and bras are required!

~~~~~



Happy hour is starting earlier and earlier.

~~~~~



If this keeps up, I’ll be pouring wine in my cereal!

~~~~~

Today’s Weather? Room temperature

~~~~~

30 Days Hath September, April, June and November

All the rest have 31 … except March which had 8000

~~~~~

Smoking pot and skipping school had me in trouble constantly.

Now weed’s legal and schools closed … damn kids are livin’ the dream!

~~~~~

This is stupid. I just tried to make my own hand sanitizer and it came out as a rum & coke!

~~~~~

If you get an email with the subject “Knock Knock”, don’t open it.

It’s a Jehovah Witness working from home. Or an Avon lady.

~~~~~

After a few days of not going out, I saw someone I knew walking by on the sidewalk outside.

I immediately ran to the window and started yelling to them.

Now I understand dogs.

~~~~~

Day 8 of social isolation and it’s looking like Vegas in my house:

We’re losing money by the minute.

Cocktails are acceptable at any hour.

Nobody knows what time it is.


----------



## Redlands Okie

People handle stress, sadness, anger and other emotions in different ways. What works for one may not work for someone else. Each deals with life the best they can in the fashion they can. Humor is good for many people, even if all do not approve how it is handled.


----------



## Lisa in WA




----------



## Lisa in WA




----------



## Redlands Okie

Thank you Lisa in WA


----------



## Lisa in WA




----------



## Bearfootfarm

light rain said:


> *I noticed far fewer posts in GChat about the the "fallacy of Covid 19 deaths" as the death toll climbs. So if *folks don't want to address the situation in reality* the next best avenue is to joke about it...


People don't want to address it here in *in this thread*.
There are countless other threads on the topic.

There's just as much "reality" in this thread (if not more) as in all the others.


----------



## Mish




----------



## Mish




----------



## po boy




----------



## mreynolds

po boy said:


> View attachment 87008


As long as they are not the same sex.


----------



## po boy




----------



## po boy




----------



## po boy




----------



## po boy




----------



## Kmac15

First the freshman 15 now the Covid 50


----------



## emdeengee

I luv this kid. Saying what a lot of adults also feel but we must act like adults. Or must we?

https://www.iheart.com/content/2020-04-23-this-kid-is-over-quarantine-i-hate-this-house/


----------



## HermitJohn

Like Jack Black says, you need eyes in back of your.... make that the top of your head!


----------



## po boy




----------



## Bearfootfarm




----------



## Bearfootfarm




----------



## mreynolds

Bearfootfarm said:


> View attachment 87044


Send that one to Texas.


----------



## Bearfootfarm




----------



## Mish




----------



## coolrunnin

https://www.facebook.com/groups/2221828224/permalink/10157279447888225/


----------



## Bearfootfarm




----------



## mzgarden




----------



## Lisa in WA




----------



## sweetbabyjane

SBJ


----------



## Lisa in WA




----------



## nehimama

^^^^^ POST OF THE YEAR!!


----------



## 101pigs

po boy said:


> View attachment 87008


We sent Porkers to China but they sent them back sick.


----------



## po boy




----------



## Lisa in WA




----------



## Redlands Okie

6 ft away, always out of reach


----------



## Bearfootfarm




----------



## Bearfootfarm




----------



## popscott




----------



## GTX63




----------



## Mish




----------



## Mish




----------



## Mish




----------



## HDRider

Jesus just left Chicago and he's bound for New Orleans.
Well now, Jesus just left Chicago and he's bound for New Orleans.
Yeah, yeah.
Workin' from one end to the other and all points in between.


----------



## mreynolds

HDRider said:


> Jesus just left Chicago and he's bound for New Orleans.
> Well now, Jesus just left Chicago and he's bound for New Orleans.
> Yeah, yeah.
> Workin' from one end to the other and all points in between.


lol


----------



## poppy

--This is a prime example of the lunacy future historians and generations are going to look back and see.

It wasn't a spoof, but a real official press briefing held by New York's Nassau County health officials just days ago. It was all about *proper handling of balls to stay safe amid coronavirus*.

*Yes, we're* *now to the point that bureaucrats have to treat us to infantile lectures on how to handle others' balls.* As if Tennis wasn't already among the most 'social distancing safe' sports in the world, given the nature of how far apart players stand on the court _— _at least we think it was about _tennis _balls anyway, but aren't quite sure.

*"You can kick their balls, but you can't touch them,"* Nassau County Executive Laura Curran announced with a serious urgency.

Indeed, an apt description of the insane times in which we live, where government officials full of inflated self-importance have to break down how we handle each others' balls.

"To avoid confusion between whose balls are whose you can use a marker like a sharpie to put an 'X'... to put someone's initials on them," she added.

So to review: "if you’re playing tennis against someone who lives in the same house as you, treat their balls like your own... But if you’re playing against someone who lives elsewhere or you’re on a court next to other people not living with you, remember these tips":

Kick their balls
To avoid confusion, mark your balls with an “X” or write your name on your balls.
IMPORTANTLY!: *Don’t touch their balls with your hands.*
This is sadly funny. Just how dumb does a government employee have to be to say this stuff and not expect ridicule?


----------



## Danaus29

I wish the government would tell my dog not to lick others balls.


----------



## Bearfootfarm




----------



## Bearfootfarm




----------



## Bearfootfarm




----------



## alida

this cat is plotting....


----------



## Lowlandman

.


----------



## Bearfootfarm




----------



## GTX63

Masks are useless against the Corolla Virus.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/video/n...zarre-moment-woman-hit-head-runaway-tyre.html


----------



## kinderfeld

New Mortal Kombat character named Korona.


----------



## whiterock

OH!! She has a mask on!


----------



## D-BOONE

whiterock said:


> OH!! She has a mask on!


 How long did you stare before you noticed that?


----------



## whiterock

ain't gonna tell ya


----------



## wkndwrnch




----------



## po boy




----------



## Oxankle

A recent thread was sharing ways in which the pandemic affected each poster. The posts reminded me of the ******* church service where the preacher was calling for the sinners to come forward and repent. 

One lady rose from the pews and came running down the aisle saying "Preacher, I done cheated on my husband." Preacher says, "Come forward and be forgiven (and don't forget to put something on the plate when we pass it." 

Fellow up front jumps up and says "Preacher, I done been stealing chickens" Preacher says, "Come forward and be forgiven!"

Fellow way in back jumps up and says "Preacher, I has sex with goats" Preacher says "Hmmmm.I don' b'lieve I'd a told that".


----------



## MO_cows




----------



## Eagle_and_hawk




----------



## Eagle_and_hawk




----------



## Eagle_and_hawk




----------



## Eagle_and_hawk




----------



## emdeengee

This is what we call a real groaner.


----------



## po boy




----------



## po boy




----------



## po boy




----------



## po boy

This one is not funny but worth sharing. Ga Tech Ballgame 1918


----------



## MO_cows

po boy said:


> View attachment 87590
> This one is not funny but worth sharing. Ga Tech Ballgame 1918


Everything old is new again!


----------



## Eagle_and_hawk




----------



## nehimama




----------



## nehimama




----------



## nehimama




----------



## Bearfootfarm




----------



## po boy




----------



## popscott




----------



## Lisa in WA




----------



## Eagle_and_hawk




----------



## Mish




----------



## Lisa in WA




----------



## Lisa in WA




----------



## Lisa in WA




----------



## Eagle_and_hawk




----------



## Lisa in WA




----------



## mreynolds

Lisa in WA said:


> View attachment 87994


What if you never made it to the chair and woke up beside it? Is that study still ongoing?


----------



## Mish




----------



## Evons hubby

2020.... The year the unicorns sharted!


----------



## po boy




----------



## Lisa in WA




----------



## Bearfootfarm

Lisa in WA said:


> View attachment 87726


That was funny.


----------



## Mish




----------



## Lisa in WA




----------



## MO_cows




----------



## sweetbabyjane




----------



## Lisa in WA




----------



## Eagle_and_hawk




----------



## Lisa in WA




----------



## Mish




----------



## mreynolds

Mish said:


>


Ok now, how do you know what I told my boss today? Are you a corporate spy?


----------



## Lisa in WA




----------



## alida




----------



## Lisa in WA




----------



## Lisa in WA




----------



## po boy




----------



## alida




----------



## alida




----------



## Lisa in WA




----------



## po boy




----------



## Katherinepotter

Lisa in WA said:


> View attachment 88638


That might actually work. LOL


----------



## Bearfootfarm

Lisa in WA said:


> View attachment 88470


----------



## Eagle_and_hawk




----------



## emdeengee




----------



## no really




----------



## po boy




----------



## Mish




----------



## Mish




----------



## mreynolds

Mish said:


>


That just won't do. Those need to be a 3' radius ball. They are not an inch over 30.


----------



## melli




----------



## Bearfootfarm




----------



## popscott




----------



## popscott




----------



## Bearfootfarm

Looking at the media reports about COVID-19 is like looking at these two perfect circles:


----------



## Bearfootfarm




----------



## HDRider




----------



## Bearfootfarm

HDRider said:


> View attachment 89470


----------



## 67drake

HDRider said:


> View attachment 89470


I just posted that one on one of my old car websites. It’s a hit!


----------



## HDRider

67drake said:


> I just posted that one on one of my old car websites. It’s a hit!


It really appeals to car people.


----------



## HDRider

From an anonymous UPS delivery driver... - 5 types of customers since the “rona”:

1) Steve:
He has been waiting for this moment his whole life. He has been drinking boilermakers since 10:00 am in his recliner and his AR is within arms reach. He has 6 months provisions in the basement and a bug out bag due west buried in the woods. Steve demands a handshake as I give him his package. He’s sizing me up as I deliver his ammo.
Steve will survive this, and he will kill you if he needs to.

2) Brad:
He is standing at his window wearing skinny jeans and a Patagonia t-shirt. He is mad because there were no organic tomatoes at Whole Foods today. He points at the ground where he has taped a 6 ft no go zone line from his porch. I leave his case of Fuji water, organic granola bites, and his new “Bernie Bro” hat at the tape.
Brad will not survive.
Steve will probably eat him.

3) Nancy:
She has sprayed everything with Thieves oil. Bought all the Clorox wipes, hand sanitizer, toilet paper, meat, and bread from the local grocery chain. She has quarantined her kids and sprays them with a mixture of thieves, lavender, & mint essential oils daily. She has posted every link known to man about “The Rona” on her social media. She will spray you if you break the 6 ft rule. I will leave her yet another case of toilet paper.
She will last longer than Brad, but not Steve.

4) Karen:
She has called everybody and read them the latest news on “The Rona”. She asked for the manager at Food Lion, Walmart, Publix, McDonald's, Chi-Fil-A, and Vons all before noon demanding more toilet paper. Karen’s kids are currently faking “The Rona” to avoid her. I’m delivering “Hello kitchen” to her.
Karen will not survive longer than Brad.

5) Mary:
Is sitting in the swing watching her kids have a water balloon fight in the front yard as she is on her fourth glass of wine. She went to the store and bought 2 cases of pop tarts, 6 boxes of cereal, 8 bags of pizza rolls, And a 6 roll pack of toilet paper. There is a playlist of Bob Marley, Pink Floyd, and Post Malone playing in the background. I’m bringing her second shipment of 15 bottles of wine in 3 days.
Mary will survive and marry Steve.
Together they will repopulate the earth.

May God have mercy on us all.


----------



## 67drake

You forgot #6. Drake- life goes on as usual. He is too busy working to worry about what the rest of the country does. He doesn’t watch the news, read anything outside of his small town newspaper or get in a panic about this stuff because he’s already been through enough BS in his life to know he’ll get to the other side unaffected.


----------



## alida




----------



## alida




----------



## Bearfootfarm

HDRider said:


> It really appeals to car people.


It reminded me of the Holley 4 Barrel on my 67 Cyclone.
It used that type of cover.


----------



## HDRider

Bearfootfarm said:


> It reminded me of the Holley 4 Barrel on my 67 Cyclone.
> It used that type of cover.


What engine? 352? or 289?

You sure don't see many of them.


----------



## Bearfootfarm

HDRider said:


> *What engine*? 352? or 289?


390 CI
It was a Cyclone GT Limited Edition.
It looked like this one but had red striping and interior:








1966-1967 Mercury Cyclone GT


The 1966-1967 Mercury Cyclone GT entered the market as a clone of another Ford Motor Company car, sharing the same body stylings and engine choice as the popular Ford Fairlane. Read more about the 1966-1967 Mercury Cyclone GT.




auto.howstuffworks.com





























"Little more than cosmetic changes marked the 1967 Mercury Cyclone GT, which wore a single-section, horizontal-bar grille with center insignia. Taillights and rear-end decorations also enjoyed a freshening. 

*Engine modifications dropped the 390-cid V-8 down to 320 horsepower.* The regular 289-cid Cyclone V-8 remained at 200 bhp.

*Lower-body rally striping again helped identify the Mercury Cyclone GT*, as did its black-out grille. GT extras didn't change much, *including a twin-scoop hood*, bright engine components, Wide-Oval whitewalls, stiffened suspension, and power front-disc brakes."

I'd love to have it now.
It was a fun toy.


----------



## 67drake

Sweet!


----------



## po boy

Looks like the 1967 Fairlane I had.


----------



## Lisa in WA




----------



## po boy




----------



## Mish




----------



## mreynolds

Mish said:


> View attachment 89574


Boone's Farm. After the first six glasses you never know the difference.


----------



## whiterock

Anyone remember Mogan David? IIRC it came in a quart bottle shaped like a carafe with a screw cap. Large opening. Looked like the welch's grape juice bottle of the time , I seem to recall. Doc told Dad to drink a glass daily, and that is what he bought. I think the best thing about it was the bottle.


----------



## po boy




----------



## Eagle_and_hawk




----------



## Mish




----------



## nchobbyfarm




----------



## nchobbyfarm




----------



## Mish




----------



## po boy




----------



## po boy

Buckle up!







​


----------



## po boy




----------



## po boy




----------



## po boy




----------



## po boy

TRUTH!


----------



## kinderfeld

Thought this was funny.


----------



## po boy




----------



## Lisa in WA




----------



## GTX63




----------



## po boy




----------



## Lisa in WA




----------



## Mish




----------



## Lisa in WA




----------



## Eagle_and_hawk




----------



## Eagle_and_hawk




----------



## Eagle_and_hawk




----------



## MO_cows




----------



## po boy

The Democrats have now set their sights on canceling next Halloween. Do they not see the irony of canceling the one holiday that involves wearing masks?


----------



## Eagle_and_hawk




----------



## Eagle_and_hawk




----------



## Eagle_and_hawk




----------



## Mish




----------



## nchobbyfarm




----------



## Mish




----------



## GTX63




----------



## GTX63




----------



## GTX63




----------



## GTX63




----------



## Mish




----------



## Eagle_and_hawk




----------



## MO_cows




----------



## nchobbyfarm

I think we all know how this turns out! 

No matter which side of the mask debate you fall onto, it is funny!


----------



## GTX63




----------



## 67drake

GTX63 said:


> View attachment 90148


And kids are so much safer today


----------



## whiterock

Makes me wonder how many miles I rode in the bed of a pickup. I would bet it would be well in excess of 50,000.


----------



## Mish




----------



## GTX63




----------



## GTX63




----------



## GTX63




----------



## GTX63




----------



## po boy




----------



## GTX63




----------



## Mish

GTX63 said:


> View attachment 90226


I need this! I've been saying this for months!


----------



## po boy




----------



## wdcutrsdaughter

po boy said:


> View attachment 90247



also could be a threat ?
as in
"don't make me go all 2020 on you"


----------



## po boy




----------



## po boy




----------



## po boy




----------



## Bearfootfarm




----------



## nchobbyfarm




----------



## nchobbyfarm




----------



## po boy




----------



## Bearfootfarm




----------



## Mish




----------



## Lisa in WA




----------



## MO_cows




----------



## Eagle_and_hawk




----------



## GTX63




----------



## nchobbyfarm




----------



## GTX63




----------



## Bearfootfarm




----------



## MO_cows




----------



## po boy




----------



## nchobbyfarm

This may surprise some of you, but I want you to all know, that yesterday I volunteered for the vaccine trials for Covid-19, held here in NC. The vaccine is one that was created in Russia. I received my first shot yesterday at 4:00 pm, and I wanted to let you all know that it’s completely safe, with иo side effects whatsoeveя, and that I feelshκι χoρoshό я чувствую себя немного странно и я думаю, что вытащил ослиные уши.😉


----------



## Bearfootfarm

nchobbyfarm said:


> This may surprise some of you, but I want you to all know, that yesterday I volunteered for the vaccine trials for Covid-19, held here in NC. The vaccine is one that was created in Russia. I received my first shot yesterday at 4:00 pm, and I wanted to let you all know that it’s completely safe, with иo side effects whatsoeveя, and that I feelshκι χoρoshό я чувствую себя немного странно и я думаю, что вытащил ослиные уши.😉


----------



## GTX63




----------



## GTX63




----------



## po boy




----------



## nchobbyfarm




----------



## Mish




----------



## keenataz

Oh this is too easy this morning


----------



## po boy




----------



## po boy




----------



## po boy




----------



## GTX63




----------



## po boy

That didn't work for poison ivy!


----------



## mreynolds

po boy said:


> View attachment 91524


That boy is from Texas if he is drinking a Shiner.


----------



## coolrunnin

mreynolds said:


> That boy is from Texas if he is drinking a Shiner.


There's not much from Texas I like, but I do love me some shiner. Lol


----------



## po boy

mreynolds said:


> That boy is from Texas if he is drinking a Shiner.


Under the photo
Only in Texas...🤣😂🤣


----------



## mreynolds

coolrunnin said:


> There's not much from Texas I like, but I do love me some shiner. Lol


Texo-germanic


----------



## andrea_paulato




----------



## andrea_paulato




----------



## whiterock

mreynolds said:


> That boy is from Texas if he is drinking a Shiner.


Remember going to bars and sliding a longneck into your front pocket of your Wranglers while you danced because you couldn't trust your friends not to drink it?


----------



## Elevenpoint

mreynolds said:


> That boy is from Texas if he is drinking a Shiner.


I had a few Shiner's on the creek yesterday fishing


----------



## GTX63




----------



## GTX63




----------



## Eagle_and_hawk




----------



## nchobbyfarm




----------



## mreynolds

nchobbyfarm said:


> View attachment 91647


Good idea. That covers agriculture, science, business, math and even PE. Throw one s little trade school mechanics on the distribution side too. 

Oh yeah, it also covers law and political science.


----------



## Harrysalvatore1989




----------



## Mish




----------



## GTX63




----------



## nchobbyfarm




----------



## GTX63




----------



## Bearfootfarm




----------



## GTX63




----------



## po boy




----------



## Eagle_and_hawk




----------



## Nimrod

Vintage 2020. At least we know what to expect.


----------



## nchobbyfarm




----------



## nchobbyfarm




----------



## nchobbyfarm




----------



## nchobbyfarm




----------



## po boy




----------



## po boy




----------



## po boy




----------



## nchobbyfarm




----------



## po boy




----------



## nchobbyfarm




----------



## GTX63




----------



## GTX63




----------



## GTX63




----------



## po boy




----------



## nchobbyfarm




----------



## Eagle_and_hawk




----------



## Eagle_and_hawk




----------



## Eagle_and_hawk




----------



## Eagle_and_hawk




----------



## po boy




----------



## Eagle_and_hawk




----------



## GTX63




----------



## Danaus29

My daughter showed me this video


----------



## Eagle_and_hawk

View attachment 92754


----------



## GTX63




----------



## nchobbyfarm




----------



## Lisa in WA




----------



## GTX63




----------



## nchobbyfarm




----------



## po boy




----------



## po boy




----------



## Mish




----------



## Danaus29

I can't remember if this was already posted or not;


----------



## alida




----------



## nchobbyfarm




----------



## Shrek

Posted 1/5/21 10:27 PM CST

A made me go" hmmmm?" thought that came to mind.

Since social distancing and face coverings are considered the best defense of the virus, could Covid sort of be considered a "social disease"?


----------



## po boy




----------



## GTX63




----------



## Eagle_and_hawk




----------



## GTX63

One of these things is not like the other.


----------



## Eagle_and_hawk




----------



## Eagle_and_hawk




----------



## GTX63




----------



## GTX63




----------



## nchobbyfarm




----------



## no really




----------



## nchobbyfarm




----------



## GTX63




----------



## GTX63




----------



## GTX63




----------



## GTX63




----------



## mreynolds

GTX63 said:


> View attachment 93859



But will you wear it at Home Depot? 

Will you wear if WE go?


----------



## GTX63

mreynolds said:


> But will you wear it at Home Depot?
> 
> Will you wear if WE go?


I will not have that shot or mask
I will not do it so please don't ask.


----------



## no really




----------



## Lisa in WA




----------



## no really




----------

