# How to Spot a Sociopath



## JohnnyLee (Feb 13, 2011)

Ran across this the other day while reading about something else on this websites. Seems somehow fitting for today. :drum:

How to spot a sociopath - 10 red flags that could save you from being swept under the influence of a charismatic nut job


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## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

:donut:

Thank you, my friend!

Also, educating yourself on "malignant narcissists" might be helpful too.

:donut:


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## nadja (May 22, 2011)

Sure seems to fit most of the current administration and Senate doesn't it !


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

Bookmarked. TDM matched all 10! Notice it was published 6/8/12--too late for my last and final round--oh, well.


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## Guest (Jul 5, 2012)

With a little more work, I too can become a sociopath and have 2 followers also!!


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## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

:donut:

I will edit myself, thank you.

:donut:


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## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

:donut:

I will edit myself, thank you.

:donut:


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## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

...
...

I will edit myself, thank you.

...
...


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## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

I am actually thankful that my exhusband is a schitzophrenic sociopathic megalomaniac....I got that experience early and because it is so extreme with him, I believe it "saved" me from a lot of subsequent bad experiences with people since then. My daughter thinks it's awesome and tells people that I can spot a lare like a fart in a car. But it's more than just about lies...it's a certain quality that these people give off. Once you have marked it in your memory, it's surprising how many people are this way in some way or another. It's also surprising how they all seem to follow the same patterns.


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## doodlemom (Apr 4, 2006)

It's not my fault. I was scooping cat poop one day and decided to taste it :grin:.


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## tinknal (May 21, 2004)

Sounds a bit like Tom Cruise..................


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## NewGround (Dec 19, 2010)

...if they ask women for homemade soap?...


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## Ardie/WI (May 10, 2002)

tinknal said:


> Sounds a bit like Tom Cruise..................


He always creeped me out!


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

"Deep in my dungeon, I welcome you here
Deep in my dungeon, I worship you fear
Deep in my dungeon I dwell
I do not know
If I wish you well"


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## homefire2007 (Sep 21, 2007)

Excellent article. I recognized my father, very charming, wild exotic stories that sounded plausible, war hero, in Russia during the revolution, etc. Never put a name to him except flake. But it's all falling into place...he had a loyal following even though a series of women supported him the last twenty-five years of his life. Eye-opening to say the least. Thanks for the link, it put some questions I've had for the last twenty years to rest.


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## Shrek (May 1, 2002)

Everyone can qualify as a sociopath depending on what social standard by which they are gauged. 

The only sociopaths to fear are those who travel on the psycho path of life regardless if they are hitch hiking across Texas totin a chainsaw or not:rotfl:


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

No, sociopaths are wired differently. I like to compare it to being color blind. A person who is color blind can tell you all about rainbows , even going so far as to describe one down to the fine details. However, he has never seen, and in fact can not see a rainbow.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

Another good sign is that they assume everyone thinks as they do, and that they are normal.


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## Shrek (May 1, 2002)

vicker said:


> No, sociopaths are wired differently. I like to compare it to being color blind. A person who is color blind can tell you all about rainbows , even going so far as to describe one down to the fine details. However, he has never seen, and in fact can not see a rainbow.


Then homesteaders are sociopaths? Glad I am just a small farmer


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## homefire2007 (Sep 21, 2007)

Shrek said:


> Then homesteaders are sociopaths? Glad I am just a small farmer


No Shrek, I would definately liken you to some one who marches to the beat of their own drummer.


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

vicker said:


> Another good sign is that they assume everyone thinks as they do, and that they are normal.


I disagree. They assume they're far above normal. In intelligence, ability and more. They know that scrupulous people don't think as they do so they target those individuals to prove their superiority. You can't con a con--you can con a honest man.


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

So... let me get this straight. If I can achieve sociopath status then I can: 1) get lucky and do the nasty in weird and interesting ways, 2) talk to people (in real life) besides the librarian who tells me the book I asked for is in, 3) win an arguement (please?), 4) stop feeling guilty when I have to tell my 14 yr old NO!, and then, of course, 5) not have to apologize because I lost my temper and yelled. Maybe... Naa, I don't think my OCD will let me get away with it.


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## chamoisee (May 15, 2005)

I disagree with the intelligence part. Some are highly intelligent, and these are the ones who do more damage and are more noticeable. The less intelligent ones exist but use people in other ways; they are probably just less successful at it.


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## Terri (May 10, 2002)

There is a sliding scale of sociopaths. Some will only con you out of a beer, but some will con you out of your life.

At the moment it is regarded as a mental illness, and the severity varies. In my humble opinion, a lot of the milder ones go into politics.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

Terri said:


> At the moment it is regarded as a mental illness, and the severity varies. In my humble opinion, a lot of the milder ones go into politics.


Yes, lol, or preaching.


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

chamoisee said:


> I disagree with the intelligence part. Some are highly intelligent, and these are the ones who do more damage and are more noticeable. The less intelligent ones exist but use people in other ways; they are probably just less successful at it.


I never said _*they are*_ more intelligent; I said they *assume* they are. (Am I the only 1 old enough to remember the Odd Couple episode that discussed the dangers of assumptions?)


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## doodlemom (Apr 4, 2006)

Profile of the Sociopath

I never realized what a sociopath truly is until I just looked it up.


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## Guest (Jul 6, 2012)

yeah, but we still cool, huh sociomom? I mean, doodlemom?

ETA: call me around 3:30 in the morning, after everybody else is through calling me. So as I can know you're serious. BR 549


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## doodlemom (Apr 4, 2006)

A single mother that works hard to support her children and lives an honest life is unfortunately not a sociopath. Although I am proud to exhibit antisocial behavior I do not qualify. I ended up agreeing to cover 2 shifts this weekend instead of going to Gettysburg as my kids are like "No way...we want rides...bla bla bla...soda...$...ice cream.." What would you like me to call you at 3:30am?....I might be a little late though as I misplaced my OUIGI board and magic 8 ball..


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## Guest (Jul 6, 2012)

Hey, I was a single father that raised 4 kids on my own. 20 years later I raised another one on my own. So, whos not a sociopath now?? I'll give you their phone numbers, you call them at 3:30 in the morning. Aint nobody here had a rougher life than me. Yet still I laugh. beats crying.


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

doodlemom said:


> A single mother that works hard to support her children and lives an honest life is unfortunately not a sociopath. Although I am proud to exhibit antisocial behavior I do not qualify. I ended up agreeing to cover 2 shifts this weekend instead of going to Gettysburg as my kids are like "No way...we want rides...bla bla bla...soda...$...ice cream.." What would you like me to call you at 3:30am?....I might be a little late though as I misplaced my OUIGI board and magic 8 ball..


No, you don't qualify for S status. That "guy" in NC who is calling peeps out while speaking in tongues is beginning to smell like a broom traveler; "she" had great pictures and stories also. I am no longer amused...

Is nobody real here?


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## doodlemom (Apr 4, 2006)

zong said:


> Hey, I was a single father that raised 4 kids on my own. 20 years later I raised another one on my own. So, whos not a sociopath now?? I'll give you their phone numbers, you call them at 3:30 in the morning. Aint nobody here had a rougher life than me. Yet still I laugh. beats crying.


That's my affliction..Singleparentism..Kids make you crazy...Nobody dropped jelly on the floor...I asked every one of them...It must have been me. LOL


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## Guest (Jul 6, 2012)

Not for you doodlemom. We're good.

Hmm. Well, I'm a "guy" in NC. been on this forum for 4 years. was pretty public about when my wife died. even posted her obit and a video I made for her. I was also pretty public when I made a run at a woman a few months later. never had anything to hide. Maybe you'd like to go heads up with a guy from NC? Hey, I'll even give you the username and password from my sister's "ancestry.com" thing. I know who I am.


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## Guest (Jul 6, 2012)

Everyone here knows me, and how argumentative I am. I await your decision. Be logical.


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## Guest (Jul 6, 2012)

I know you like to think you're a survivor. So do I. Since my first wife abandoned me with 4 kids in 1977, I've made it on my own. No child support, no food stamps. Nothing. Back then, it didn't do no good to whine. You gonna have to be mighty tough to make me feel bad. I raised the kids, I did what was necessary, I never backed down, nobody ever owned me.


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

zong said:


> Not for you doodlemom. We're good.
> 
> Hmm. Well, I'm a "guy" in NC. been on this forum for 4 years. was pretty public about when my wife died. even posted her obit and a video I made for her. I was also pretty public when I made a run at a woman a few months later. never had anything to hide. Maybe you'd like to go heads up with a guy from NC?


A guy from NC was my 1st love; I have a weak spot for guys from there so have already gone heads on (up is dumb) with a Tarheel. After today's "stuff" I wouldn't be so quick to make comments about posters who were here 2 years or even 4 years before you arrived--SW hid for years and years under numerous names before getting antsy at the lack of action and coming out. 

Not a good day at ST--no wonder some of the oldsters post little or not at all any longer.

I could say more but I've been very logical, RaeJean.


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## Guest (Jul 6, 2012)

Not my problem. I'm just a guy from NC. If you were not antagonizing at me, I apologize. I obviously jumped to an erroneous assumption. I'm the only one from NC that I see that fits that particular criteria, I didn't know you were referencing the past. You have no idea how much I've been antagonized the last few months. Not your fault, of course.


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

zong said:


> Not my problem. I'm just a guy from NC. If you were not antagonizing at me, I apologize. I obviously jumped to an erroneous assumption. I'm the only one from NC that I see that fits that particular criteria, I didn't know you were referencing the past. You have no idea how much I've been antagonized the last few months. Not your fault, of course.


Hey, I have to be up in 5 hours so I'll make this short. I must admit I didn't have a clue what antagonizing meant (or if it was a real) so I looked it up: interesting word. Not sure you've used it properly at all times but I'm too tired to argue. I still say that today was not the day to do more than post carefully here. There is a history of BSers in this forum that predates my membership. Bad stuff....trust me.

Sleep well.


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## Guest (Jul 6, 2012)

I never sleep. rarely do i misuse a word. It does happen. I'm never careful, I'm wide open, all the time, Straight up. I don't much like people that are scared or distrustful of me. so, there you go. Thats me.


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## littlejoe (Jan 17, 2007)

Some of you people need a job, looks to me like! If your busy, maybe someone isn't around to take advantage of you? Or maybe, do you think you might spend to much time reading the internet?

Ive got, a handful of friends that I could trust with anything, a lot of associates that I know are "good people", I don't know them any farther than business though...A few people I can tolerate, and very few that need to stay away from me. I'm pretty tolerant, just have no need to listen to BS!

I don't need the internet to decide which is good or bad?


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## Guest (Jul 6, 2012)

then why you here, same as the rest of us? I, too, like to think that everybody else is wasting their life away. then again, maybe everybody else got their whole place set up for wifi with terminals everywhere, just like I do!! I'm not really sure what everybody else is doing with their lives. Maybe I shouldn't even be judging them.


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## Groene Pionier (Apr 23, 2009)

Terri said:


> There is a sliding scale of sociopaths. Some will only con you out of a beer, but some will con you out of your life.
> 
> At the moment it is regarded as a mental illness, and the severity varies. In my humble opinion, a lot of the milder ones go into politics.


It is regarded as a mental illness? How do they establish this? 
I have court next month and after reading that article I am pretty sure that my ex could be one of them. I am already trying to think what kind of lies he comes up with this time and how every one is going to belief him, including the judges. I wish I could cry when it is convenient and convincing:/


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

Believe it or not, the judge has pretty much seen and heard it all. And, he (probably) quit caring a long time ago. It's just a game to him and the lawyers. I really do wish you luck though. It is very tough to winnow out the truth in family court. But, really, the judge hopefully will see through the dust storm. My First one didn't, my second one did.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

It would be very hard, if not impossible to establish. Their talent lies in manipulating the way one views them, even well trained analysts.
ETA
It is not against the law to be a sociopath. You have to catch them breaking the law.


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## TraderBob (Oct 21, 2010)

What happens if you're diagnosed as a sociopath with psychopathic tendencies? Bonus points?


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## doodlemom (Apr 4, 2006)

TraderBob said:


> What happens if you're diagnosed as a sociopath with psychopathic tendencies? Bonus points?


Yup..soap on a rope lol.


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## Groene Pionier (Apr 23, 2009)

doodlemom said:


> Yup..soap on a rope lol.


you know where to get the soaps, you have to do the rope thing yourself though...


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## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)

katydidagain said:


> Is nobody real here?


No. You are all figments of my imagination. :teehee:

.


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## NewGround (Dec 19, 2010)

Dang, now what's with dissing guys from NC? Hey I wasn't even born here but it's where Dad retired... 

At least I posted my real pic, and not just one either... You can even compare my pic down at the post office and all... 

Alas I am beginning to come around to thinking HermitJohn is right... Better start collecting me a pile of rocks...


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## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

thanks for posting the lists. I was involved with one. he ended up keeping a bunch of my personal stuff, he refuses to return them. remrmeber awhiel ago when I was talking about that I should have listend to his dog, trusted the dog. yep. sure enough, the dog was right. wish I took his dog.

personal stuff--a few photos of my loved ones which I took tohave on the nightstand, soem of my art journals, my box of recipe cards--handwritten by friends, and fam, my grandpa's binoculars. I was stupid to leave those things(didn't ahve room, thought I was going back). I never thought he'd keep them like that. it's creepy. and it hurts.

sorry to earyl to spell check, gotta get int he shower


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## Terri (May 10, 2002)

Groene Pionier said:


> It is regarded as a mental illness? How do they establish this?
> I have court next month and after reading that article I am pretty sure that my ex could be one of them. I am already trying to think what kind of lies he comes up with this time and how every one is going to belief him, including the judges. I wish I could cry when it is convenient and convincing:/


Well, the *USA* regards it as a mental illness, but you live "across the ocean, yes"? If you do live in another country, what is recognized as a mental illness might be different.

Do you have a lawyer? Because, expect some really NASTY accusations to suddenly turn up in front of the judge, because that is how some folks do things. A lawyer can probably counter them easily, but, this man KNOWS you and so he will choose accusations that he knows you will be weak in defending. Lawyers, however, are not easily out-argued.


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## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

Groene Pionier said:


> It is regarded as a mental illness? How do they establish this?
> I have court next month and after reading that article I am pretty sure that my ex could be one of them. I am already trying to think what kind of lies he comes up with this time and how every one is going to belief him, including the judges. I wish I could cry when it is convenient and convincing:/


As far as I know, it's regarded as a disorder over here. 

I don't know about over there, but when I was divorcing my own socio/schitz/megalo...husband, he wasn't formally diagnosed and his behavior in court was quite obviously....uhm....suspect and he disrespected the judge so..that went just fine lol

However, ironically, at one point several years later he decided he should sue me for custody on the grounds that I was crazy. So HE petitioned the court to force ME to get a psychological study done to prove to everyone I was crazy and an unfit mother.

Well...the court ordered that he and I both as well as our daughter all come in for assessments. It took three days. FULL days. I'm not supposed to have his results but they had been given to my lawyer and he gave them to me and the lawyer passed away so...I can't get him in trouble by telling that I have about 200 pages on my exhusbands psychological/personality analysis.

And he's very well certified in the...."nutjob" department. Anyway....the only thing it helped me do was keep custody and subsequently the court ordered supervised visits when and if he decided to see his daughter.

Currently my daughter has disowned him after years of him being him. And rightfully so.

All this blabber just to say...whether certified or not it isn't probably going to "win" much in court...just possibly alert the case workers that something's up. AND...a lot of judges are much smarter than we think when it comes to jerks...they see them ALL THE TIME.

Good luck with everything GP...you deserve some.


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## oregon woodsmok (Dec 19, 2010)

Zong, I don't know whether you are a sociopath or not, but you are capable of being amusing, so if you are a sociopath, I forgive you.

The article was interesting. A couple of things though. Every liar will attack you if you call him on a lie. The world is chock full of liars and they aren't all sociopaths.

I found it amusing that the writer gave his description of a sociopath and then took the opportunity to promote his own religion and finished up by asking for money.

My opinion: the second that anyone wants money or more than the normal amount of attention, then you have to be careful about them.

(Zong, if you are a sociopath, don't bother to try to get money out of me. It would be a waste of your time)


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

WN, that is so funny. I went through a very similar experience. Of course it wasn't very funny at the time  I great way to learn about sociopaths is to be married to one. Not for the feint of heart though. ** shaking head ** what a freaking nightmare. That's why I never have nightmares anymore, been there done that


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

I told my daughters if they wanted to get to know sociopaths to become prison psychologists instead of dating them.

They didn't appreciate my advice at the time.


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## Groene Pionier (Apr 23, 2009)

WhyNot said:


> As far as I know, it's regarded as a disorder over here.
> 
> All this blabber just to say...whether certified or not it isn't probably going to "win" much in court...just possibly alert the case workers that something's up. AND...a lot of judges are much smarter than we think when it comes to jerks...they see them ALL THE TIME.
> 
> Good luck with everything GP...you deserve some.


Actually I have been in and out of court room with this man for 7 years. One part of the conversation:
judge: you aren't going to beat her up again are you?
him: No, I regret it so much
judge: ok then you can pick up your children this saturday.
to me: he has the right to see his children, so you have to give them to him. if not you will be fined or imprisoned.

the psychologist in aggression therapy called me: 
she: I have heard the conviction, and I have talked to him. I can't inmagine he has beaten you up, he is such a gentil and sweet man.
after a couple of sesions appearently she did reckognized he had this dark side. 

another time in court:
judge: he has no money so he can't pay child support, but of course he can see his children. He is going to aggression therapy and he hasn't hurt the children (yet), so he can see them in this and this visitation schedule.

after we fled into the police station:
the detective to my ex: you are not in heavy crime anymore right? 
he: no after the house bust I haven't done anything anymore
my ex: I am sorry this is all too much for me and walks out of the room crying.
she to me: you see you can give your children to him, they will be safe.

after my complaint with the conduct of the police officer:
he: you are in contempt of the law because he has the right to see his children. 
me: but I don't think it is safe there (believe me I have my reasons to say this and of course I can proof that!)
he: even the biggest criminal can be a good dad, you have to give the children to him and no we can't be sure they are save, that is your responsibility

I have endless encounters with ppl who should know because they work in this line of field but they simply don't know and don't act on it. Also our lawyers aren't that witty, they can speak what they have rehearsed but not go into what is said at that moment in court. 



Terri said:


> Well, the *USA* regards it as a mental illness, but you live "across the ocean, yes"? If you do live in another country, what is recognized as a mental illness might be different.
> 
> Our laws are diffent and I guess the way we perseive ppl is different? I did find it interesting to know that it is concidered an illness. I will look into it for my situation.
> 
> Do you have a lawyer? Because, expect some really NASTY accusations to suddenly turn up in front of the judge, because that is how some folks do things. A lawyer can probably counter them easily, but, this man KNOWS you and so he will choose accusations that he knows you will be weak in defending. Lawyers, however, are not easily out-argued.


Yes I have a lawyer, I tried to explain to him what kind of man he is, but they only focus on the facts, they don't do anything with behaviour of the person. I have a clue what he is going to blurp out in court and he is going to be so sad that he can't see his children. I just try to prepare myself on another no-go from our legal system.
Thank you for thinking with me!


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## chamoisee (May 15, 2005)

katydidagain said:


> I never said _*they are*_ more intelligent; I said they *assume* they are. (Am I the only 1 old enough to remember the Odd Couple episode that discussed the dangers of assumptions?)


The article cited states they are more intelligent, which was what I was responding to. I didn't quote you so....assumptions, yeah. :-/


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

chamoisee said:


> The article cited states they are more intelligent, which was what I was responding to. I didn't quote you so....assumptions, yeah. :-/


Sorry. Yesterday's "news"/posts hit a nerve with me so I wasn't reading very carefully and assumed you were picking on me. I think I insulted a Tarheel, too. Mea culpa but being reminded that I was _snowed_ once again wasn't pleasant at all. Sorry.


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## Guest (Jul 7, 2012)

Insulted a tarheel?? you called me a woman. It's cool though. I mean, I figure maybe you'd like me in drag, so I went to walmart.........
You like koolats, right??


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

The other day I was going to respond, on some other thread, that I hate apologies (meaning being on the receiving end). I'm glad I didn't. A real apology is very good for the soul of all parties. Well done, Katie.


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## sidepasser (May 10, 2002)

Groene Pionier said:


> Actually I have been in and out of court room with this man for 7 years. One part of the conversation:
> judge: you aren't going to beat her up again are you?
> him: No, I regret it so much
> judge: ok then you can pick up your children this saturday.
> ...


GP - can you leave the country with your children? Folks..no one seems to be paying attention to what GP is saying..it's like she posts and everyone continues whatever conversation they were having and no one is paying one dime's attention to what she is saying. 

HELL-O?? ANYONE OUT THERE WITH THE LIGHTS ON? 

GP, I am sorry that you are going through this. Can you leave the country with the children or do you have to stay there?

If you can leave, do you have any relatives anywhere in the world other than where you are?

Your situation sounds so sad, I hate to think that you have to send your children off to stay with a man that is mentally unbalanced and that the courts know that he has committed offenses.


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## Guest (Jul 7, 2012)

Its highly unlikely that somebody can get an international extradition order about child visitation. I understand.


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

zong said:


> Insulted a tarheel?? you called me a woman. It's cool though. I mean, I figure maybe you'd like me in drag, so I went to walmart.........
> You like koolats, right??


I called you a woman? Show me. Men in drag aren't my cup of tea. What are koolats? 



vicker said:


> The other day I was going to respond, on some other thread, that I hate apologies (meaning being on the receiving end). I'm glad I didn't. A real apology is very good for the soul of all parties. Well done, Katie.


Thanks. I endeavor, albeit badly quite often, to crawl into bed each night without something undone. Missed it last night--had to be at the shop at 6:30 this morning so I could beat projected 100 here before 2PM. I had a bunch typed out about well laid plans (mine) and what I was handed but the upshot is that the guys from Latin America (here quite legally) gave out before I did. Atlanta's heat? If I'm back in an office...fine.


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## Guest (Jul 7, 2012)

koolats are weird short pants from 1968. If you want to pretend you didn't imply that I was stickywitch, thats OK with me.


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## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

:donut:

Hey, hey, now ... I loved my culottes when I was a little girl ... really.

:donut:


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## ekjns (May 31, 2002)

I think I have some of these in my family......so I know how to spot them for sure but this was validation...thanks!


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## Guest (Jul 7, 2012)

You got koolats(or culottes) in your family too!!! Cool!! Or Coolatts!!


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

zong said:


> koolats are weird short pants from 1968. If you want to pretend you didn't imply that I was stickywitch, thats OK with me.


What makes you think stickywitch is a woman? Many of us who've been here a while think she's not a she at all.


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## Guest (Jul 7, 2012)

I'm not the one thinks it. You are the one who said "That "guy" in NC who is calling peeps out while speaking in tongues is beginning to smell like a broom traveler; "she" had great pictures and stories also. I am no longer amused..." (post 31 in this exact thread)

You know, sometimes when I say something really stupid(And I often do) I hope that nobody notices it. if they do, I either wait it out, or else say, "well, yea, I was really stupid" One thing I never do though, is pretend that what I said was anything other than what I said. Sometimes you just gotta own up to being totally off the wall, and wrong. Of course, I am aware that most people aren't that big. Your call as to whether or not you're a grown up. I already know.


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

zong said:


> I'm not the one thinks it. You are the one who said "That "guy" in NC who is calling peeps out while speaking in tongues is beginning to smell like a broom traveler; "she" had great pictures and stories also. I am no longer amused..." (post 31 in this exact thread)
> 
> You know, sometimes when I say something really stupid(And I often do) I hope that nobody notices it. if they do, I either wait it out, or else say, "well, yea, I was really stupid" One thing I never do though, is pretend that what I said was anything other than what I said. Sometimes you just gotta own up to being totally off the wall, and wrong. Of course, I am aware that most people aren't that big. Your call as to whether or not you're a grown up. I already know.


Yep, stupid babe in the woods. Not stupid enough to go for round 3 but stupid. (Hey, did I put "she" in quotes?)


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## Groene Pionier (Apr 23, 2009)

sidepasser said:


> GP - can you leave the country with your children? Folks..no one seems to be paying attention to what GP is saying..it's like she posts and everyone continues whatever conversation they were having and no one is paying one dime's attention to what she is saying.
> 
> 
> GP, I am sorry that you are going through this. Can you leave the country with the children or do you have to stay there?
> ...


Sidepasser, Thank you for your concern and your reply. It is all ok. You see, I have worked with every institute I had to work with and cooperated, for the sake of the children. What the whole situation does tell me is that we have gone overboard in this country the rights of the father. It should be always the children first, not the egoistic wishes of the children. For 7 years I did do what I was suppose to do (under loud protest though) but now the children told me they really don't want to go to their father because he scares them so much. A child should never be afraid of their parent. So that did it, I didn't send them anymore and then it turns out you are the criminal (yes, criminal, because I break the law with not obeying court orders so I can be picked up and put in jail). 
Imagine what will happen when I go abroad? I will become an international child abducter! I am curious though what will going to happen after next months court. Perhaps they will set the children free of the visitation but I don't count on it. I do have some back up plans. you see, living with such a man and divorcing him does bring you good things too I am fairly good prepped for a lot of different SHTF situations, of course with what is possible in my situation and in this country.

What I find fascination though, is that different law systems do have such a big impact in personal lives of ppl. I do think it is interesting to learn from others under different law systems. I will look into the sociopath thing we talked about and look how I can use it. 
At least it did made me understand a lot of things I didn't understand before.


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## Guest (Jul 7, 2012)

Well, Lets see. I've talked to several members of this forum. I've physically met a few. I was madly in love with one. I drove 1400 miles(round trip) to be with her. We lived in the same room for 6 weeks. Probably what went wrong, too much time too close together. Doesn't matter what went wrong, it just went wrong. On a thread a day or 2 before Christmas, the question was asked "What do you want for Christmas?" I sat on her bed and typed "I wish this moment could last forever" She typed "I am so happy I am with Z" Now she hates me. If I was pretending anything, would it be that way? 
Heres the fact. I am who I am. You've made a stupid assumption and are too arrogant to admit you're wrong. Not my problem. You're just going to extremes to prove exactly how wrong you are. Only thing is, it questions everything else you say. Who can believe somebody when they know they're wrong and yet insist on arguing their position?


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

GP, is there any way to get the children's voices heard about what they want? Would it be possible to get a child psychologist involved to help you and the kids? It would seem that his criminal record would have an impact.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

That awkward moment when....


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## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

:donut:

I sure do love donuts.

:donut:


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## Guest (Jul 7, 2012)

You saw my facebook picture of those homemade donuts, right? I can make some more right now. I'll eat your share and tell you how much you liked them, Then I'll eat my share, and agree with you that they sure are good. I might even make another batch, if you insist.....


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

And honey


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## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

zong said:


> You saw my facebook picture of those homemade donuts, right? I can make some more right now. I'll eat your share and tell you how much you liked them, Then I'll eat my share, and agree with you that they sure are good. I might even make another batch, if you insist.....


:donut:

Yessir, I saw that beautiful plate of homemade donuts alright ... I am tagged in that photo!!!!! It's on my profile page!!! Thank you! Yes, make us another batch, or two, or ten.

:donut:


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## littlejoe (Jan 17, 2007)

zong said:


> then why you here, same as the rest of us? I, too, like to think that everybody else is wasting their life away. then again, maybe everybody else got their whole place set up for wifi with terminals everywhere, just like I do!! I'm not really sure what everybody else is doing with their lives. Maybe I shouldn't even be judging them.


Sorry Zong, but my reasons are mine. And it's not to chitchat with you.


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

zong said:


> Well, Lets see. I've talked to several members of this forum. I've physically met a few. I was madly in love with one. On a thread a day or 2 before Christmas, the question was asked "What do you want for Christmas?" I sat on her bed and typed "I wish this moment could last forever" She typed "I am so happy I am with Z" Now she hates me. If I was pretending anything, would it be that way?
> Heres the fact. I am who I am. You've made a stupid assumption and are too arrogant to admit you're wrong. Not my problem. You're just going to extremes to prove exactly how wrong you are. Only thing is, it questions everything else you say. Who can believe somebody when they know they're wrong and yet insist on arguing their position?


I suspect this is directed towards me.

My explanation of me has been cut. (But thanks for the chance to type out, read, edit, edit, edit and then poof it--that felt great!)

Put down the hookah, go away and leave me alone. K? You in drag would make me puke. K?


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## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

I'm so blessed, and glad, and relieved, to know I am a benign (healthy) narcissist ... whew, boy howdy.



:croc:

eep:


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## Groene Pionier (Apr 23, 2009)

Terri in WV said:


> GP, is there any way to get the children's voices heard about what they want? Would it be possible to get a child psychologist involved to help you and the kids? It would seem that his criminal record would have an impact.


Terri, they went to childrens lawyers and wrote letters to the judge, the judge heard them but said immediately: you both are too young to be able to ask me this, it is your parents who have to do that. The proper age is 12 and they are 11 and 9. the child judge was obviously on her control pilot and said to me that I shouldn't use the children for getting back at my ex. The criminal record before didn't count until now, the latest thing didn't go through court yet, so he isn't guilty as of now. 

A couple of years ago they went to child psychologists and it is all recorded how they told what they do when their father have another anger attack and how they have to hide in a 2 room appartment. Nobody did anything with that, they said they would help the children to coop with the situations. I said that that is the world upside down: you should have the abusive parent stopped not teach the children how to coop with abusive parents. 
So i stopped the visitations to the psychologist, which was a bad point on my account

We have to 'sing' it out (dutch expression) until they are 12 and can go to court themselves. But i do swear that they will not go to their fathers if they don't want to, no matter what it takes. enough is enough and the children are way more important then my or their father little (egoistic) wishes. 

but this whole thing gave me new insights and it is nice to be able to learn and look at situations in different ways with other ppl's opinions! 
So I do thank all for putting in the time and effort to post and think with others. I really appreciate that!


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## Guest (Jul 7, 2012)

katydidagain said:


> I suspect this is directed towards me.
> 
> My explanation of me has been cut. (But thanks for the chance to type out, read, edit, edit, edit and then poof it--that felt great!)
> 
> Put down the hookah, go away and leave me alone. K? You in drag would make me puke. K?


In drag? where do you get that?/ You're right about the hookah. One of us must be on drugs, since I don't agree with everything you say. There clearly is no other explanation that to accuse me of being on drugs. You should have been a detective. Anybody points out how silly you are, they're on drugs. Sure thing. Since you've decided to escalate to a personal attack, that leaves the way clear for me to reply in kind. If you did not insist on attacking me, I would not bother replying to you. As is, you have clearly bitten off more than you can chew, and the more you try, the less sense you make. I suppose in your make believe world of bitterness toward everybody, it's OK to just make unfounded accusations and expect people to leave you alone. If I make you puke, put me on ignore. It's pretty easy. Any moron can do it. As long as you keep up your sniping, I feel justified in answering. Heres a clue for you though, there IS a moderator who dislikes me, appeal to her. Clearly you're not equipped to fight your own battles. "Put down the hookah" "Dressed in drag" Thats pathetically stupid. Your best effort, I take it?


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## Guest (Jul 7, 2012)

littlejoe said:


> Sorry Zong, but my reasons are mine. And it's not to chitchat with you.


Then why are you?


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## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

:donut:

Hey, Zong, let me help you out here buddy ... how are our homemade donuts coming along?

:donut:


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## Guest (Jul 7, 2012)

LOL. Gonna "glaze" them with Honeywine. especially for you. I hope I dont get drunk eating your share!! no telling what I might do!


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

You're between a rock and a hard place. At least the kids have you to look out for them. 

It really makes one wonder about where the people's heads are that are supposed to be in charge and looking out for the best interests of the children.

I know you've said that you aren't sending the kids to their dad's, but if they do have to go, is it possible for them to call the police when he has his anger attacks? That would give you more legal papers to use.


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## Groene Pionier (Apr 23, 2009)

Terri in WV said:


> You're between a rock and a hard place. At least the kids have you to look out for them.
> 
> It really makes one wonder about where the people's heads are that are supposed to be in charge and looking out for the best interests of the children.
> 
> I know you've said that you aren't sending the kids to their dad's, but if they do have to go, is it possible for them to call the police when he has his anger attacks? That would give you more legal papers to use.


for now, I m focussed on not letting them go. they haven't seen him since januari. I do have 2 extra (old) mobiles, I should get them a prepaid card or something. That is a good idea, thanks


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

Something stinks. But, never mind, it is probably just the red flags.


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## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)




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## nancy237 (May 29, 2008)

I used to think I would enjoy this forum, but it is beginning to sound like a bunch of bickering kids..


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## Guest (Jul 7, 2012)

I still think "mature lover" every time I see your name. And I always wonder, "whats that about?" Oh, well, Sweet mystery of life and all that... Or, as the joke about the gay Chinese journalist from Life Magazine goes... Sweet Mr. Rhee, of Life....


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## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)

nancy237 said:


> I used to think I would enjoy this forum, but it is beginning to sound like a bunch of bickering kids..


It's just a PMS moment for some people (that time of year, ya know - Sun in Cancer makes people emotional and bickery). :fussin: 

Come back in two weeks and everyone will be all happy happy joy joy and partying with each other again for another month. :dance: 

Then the month after that ... well, who knows? Maybe it'll be food and hygiene issues?

.


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## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)

zong said:


> I still think "*mature lover*" every time I see your name. And I always wonder, *"whats that about?"* ....


The truth. :cute:

Just call me a ripe banana. Or peach or plum or whatever. Not over-ripe. .... yet. :happy2:

.


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## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

jello shots made with Fireball are awesome!

just sayin!


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## chamoisee (May 15, 2005)

No problem, Katie. There's an interesting book on this topic, The Sociopath Next Door.


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