# Love Me, Love My Dog



## Laura (May 10, 2002)

On another board a guy stated his *new *girlfriend told him the care and attention he gives to his dog gets in the way of their relationship. I didn't respond because, "Get a new girlfriend," probably wouldn't be welcome. I'd like to ask how the dog feels about her but it's not a country folk forum.

I do think it's a common issue and valid topic to explore since most of us have dogs. When my friends and I became independent adults, we entered the world with well trained working dogs on heel. Men come and go, but the dog is always loyal. Always trust the dog. 

I remember when my friend set me up on a blind date with her DH's hunting bud. She described him as a fixer-upper, I think most blind dates fall into that category. He had two 70 pound stinky dogs that went on the date with us. They did not ride in the back of the pick up, they rode in the cab. The female sat next to him, the male next to the window, I sat between. The female stink-eyed me the entire ride. After initially asking if they were riding in back, I did not ask the guy to change to accommodate me. 

What are, and what are not acceptable dog boundaries in relationships?


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## frogmammy (Dec 8, 2004)

What I do know is this....my male Friend, Will, had a new girl he REALLY liked. She was allergic to cats, so he got rid of his cats that he'd had for years. They married, and then she discovered that she was allergic to his large dog. He got rid of the dog. She was also afraid to live in his small house in the Colorado mountins, so they got rid of the small house.

Then miracle! She was no longer allergic to cats OR dogs, and bought herself several of each! Another miracle, she was no longer afraid of living in the mountains, so they had a new house built, on 40 acres, in the Colardo mountains!

And it came to pass, after five years of marriage, that she filed for divorce.

My friend got rid of three small dogs and four cats that would bite him, two new cars, a tractor, snowmobile, new mower, 40 acres, a new house, a few CD's and IRA's and a couple savings accounts...and a wife!

A few hints....if the "new" love of your life needs a new car so they can some to see you, if they are "allergic" to your pets, if your house is no longer "right"....just go ahead, bend over and kiss your "sitting app" good-bye. 'Cause one way or the other, you're gonna lose it.

Mon


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

die:I would think a potential mate and his animals are a packaged deal.

I would hope that I would be on equal footing with any dog!
But then again, I love dogs!


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## frogmammy (Dec 8, 2004)

Sorry 

If someone tells me I spend too much time on my dog, and my dog is NOT sick, I am going to be spending a LOT less time on that person. If they tell me they are allergic to my dog and I need to get rid of it, getting rid of the person will cure the problem.

I expect someone elses' dog to NOT bite me, OR hump my leg, and if it's dirty or stinky, it better be sick, or on its way to a bath. The same with mine. I would NEVER trust someone my dog or other animal didn't like...period.

Mon


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## Nimrod (Jun 8, 2010)

Had a girlfriend once that put forth an ultimatum, her or the dog. What she didn't realize is that having a dog is part of who I am. I love the outdoors and grouse and pheasant hunting. I would have cut back trips to the outdoors and curtail hunting if I didn't have a dog. I ain't changing that much for any woman. She did not like the answer.


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## rkintn (Dec 12, 2002)

Our little wiener dog is spoiled rotten and I could see where someone might think he'd be expendable or throwaway. Nothing could be further from the truth. He's a part of the family and shall remain so til his last day. Anyone who can't see that won't last long around here.


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## krackin (Nov 2, 2014)

If you don't like my dogs you may just as well keep moving along. Most likely I'll love your dogs so don't get all bent out of shape jealous. I get along quite well with dogs.


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## krackin (Nov 2, 2014)

frogmammy said:


> What I do know is this....my male Friend, Will, had a new girl he REALLY liked. She was allergic to cats, so he got rid of his cats that he'd had for years. They married, and then she discovered that she was allergic to his large dog. He got rid of the dog. She was also afraid to live in his small house in the Colorado mountins, so they got rid of the small house.
> 
> Then miracle! She was no longer allergic to cats OR dogs, and bought herself several of each! Another miracle, she was no longer afraid of living in the mountains, so they had a new house built, on 40 acres, in the Colardo mountains!
> 
> ...


I have no complaints, then again, I was never fool enough to get married.


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## oneraddad (Jul 20, 2010)

My dogs are dirty and smell like sagebrush...


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## Forcast (Apr 15, 2014)

I try an keep one bedroom pristine(no cats) in case my son & DIL come for a visit, she is allergic to cats. But thats all I do. I would also think like many if you have pets its a package deal. Just like having kids. I dont mean hoarders of pets. That a different problem.


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## farmrbrown (Jun 25, 2012)

Laura said:


> I'd like to ask how the dog feels about her but it's not a country folk forum.


I'd ask anyway.
You never know, the dog might belong to several different forums and they don't seem to mind questions - even personal ones.

:grin:





Laura said:


> I do think it's a common issue and valid topic to explore since most of us have dogs. When my friends and I became independent adults, we entered the world with well trained working dogs on heel. Men come and go, but the dog is always loyal. Always trust the dog.


There's always the case where a dog was abused by a certain gender and show that trait to all of them, but in the case where the dog your date immediately and doesn't change........listen to the dog, they may see something you missed.





Laura said:


> What are, and what are not acceptable dog boundaries in relationships?


For me, I draw the line at sleeping together. The dog has her bed and my wife and I have ours.
We're just good friends.

She doesn't have to ride in the back of the truck unless she wants to - but I never let her drive.


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## frogmammy (Dec 8, 2004)

farmrbrown said:


> .....
> She doesn't have to ride in the back of the truck unless she wants to - but I never let her drive.


Silly, your wife should be able to drive.



Mon


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

Don't leave your window down and keys in your pick up around border collies.


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## farmrbrown (Jun 25, 2012)

Laura said:


> Don't leave your window down and keys in your pick up around border collies.


I know this thread is going to the dogs, but that reminded me of my neighbor's call for help a few years ago.
They were on their way out of town, had the border collies loaded, truck packed, running in the driveway with the A/C on.
One went back inside for something they forgot, the other stepped out of the truck and shut the door.
The dogs locked the doors and neither one had the extra set of keys!
I had to find my slim jim kit and figure out how to get in one of those new fangled trucks before her husband picked up a big rock, lol.


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## grimm_mojo (Dec 30, 2007)

I would keep the dog an look for a different woman


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## frogmammy (Dec 8, 2004)

oneraddad said:


> My dogs are dirty and smell like sagebrush...


Love the smell of sagebrush!

Mon


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

When my wife and I were getting divorced, I refused to leave our 28.5 acres and the cabin. After our first hearing, the judge gave me till 11-12-07to move out. On 11-12 -07 I moved into a friend's hunting cabin. When I backed up to the cabin, this little dog was sitting on the porch, tail a wagging. I said, "Well, it looks like we're both homeless. Come on in. We've be roommates ever since. I had another dog show up, and I still have him too but, only Mutzo comes in the house. If you have a problem with Mutzo, there are some fine motels and hotels nearby. I'll call you a cab.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

Mutzo likes a good couch. She's not very big, but she sure can occupy one. 

She's a lot bigger than she looks. I've seen her take on a few bears, when the other dog, an over 100lb Siberian mix, will crawl under the steps. Mutzo will chase it off the mountain, then over the next one for good measure. She weighs in at about eleven pounds, but eight of that is heart.


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## reneedarley (Jun 11, 2014)

Laura said:


> Don't leave your window down and keys in your pick up around border collies.


It is even worse leaving a border collie, the keys -and a closed window . That cost me the window.:smack


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

I don't belive a pet should be able to poop on the floor , not being a cat guy I naÃ¯vely thought that would take care of these types of problems. 
Heck I even had a cat. It would wander up once in while when it was hungry or I was doing something more interesting than it was. 
Now that's a pretty rare occurrence since cats seldom find anything more interesting than themselves so we got along fine. 
It never occurred to me that a cat woman would keep a dozen cats around. 
Or they would dedicate themselves to getting in the house. A house they have never been in. 
Fighting clawing biting climbing chewing their way in. 
Yes there was a flaw in my plan.


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

My sweet girl.......she is on a farm in Massachusetts. ......I miss her so.


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## Bellyman (Jul 6, 2013)

Depends on the dog. I've been known to end up liking the dog more than the human in a few instances.


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## oneraddad (Jul 20, 2010)




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## dorner (Oct 30, 2012)

You have beautiful puppy dogs Oneraddad. THey look healthy and as happy as can be. 

We have cats, but I love all animals, except snakes. I wouldn't give up my cats for anyone. Luckily, my hubby and I both love animals. My cats are my furbabies and my friends know how that they are important in my life.


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## oneraddad (Jul 20, 2010)

roadless said:


> View attachment 52067
> 
> 
> 
> My sweet girl.......she is on a farm in Massachusetts. ......I miss her so.


This is Winslow, he's my sons dog all dressed up for Christmas.


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

Aww, Winslow is sweet!
I'm surprised my girl, Charity, allowed my friend to put that on her........my guess is there was a treat involved! &#9825;

Wow Raddad, your pups sure do have a beautiful place to roam!


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## oneraddad (Jul 20, 2010)

roadless said:


> Aww, Winslow is sweet!
> I'm surprised my girl, Charity, allowed my friend to put that on her........my guess is there was a treat involved! &#9825;
> 
> Wow Raddad, your pups sure do have a beautiful place to roam!


Thank you, Winslow is one of my puppies.
There wasn't a plan to live on a mountain, it just happened.

The road sucks though


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

The roadless traveled huh? :hysterical:


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## arnie (Apr 26, 2012)

well heres amigo n ginger my partners stay out on the porch sleep in the barn ,have jumped between a bear n I and grabbed a big mean hog who was trying to grab me .just couldn't think of tradeing them for any reason .but they'r not on the couch or table .but heres what is .so don't get stuck siting between two old stinky hounds ;and don't worry about a bigfoot monster getting ya while stargazeing at the bonfire with arnie


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

Not my dog, possibly his dad though. We don't have pics of our dog yet. DD and I are totally enamored with our new service dog. He is 135 pounds at 18 months old, well trained to our needs and a farm breed. The young men who love and care about us told me this fluppy eliminates the possibility of relationship for me. No man will survive his sniff test. His stink-eye scares the beejeebers out of our young men. They are reluctant to return and take pics for us.

I haven't seen the stink-eye or Ready to Rumble face because I am behind him when he makes faces at people or talks and stomps his feet. I do know they bring big smiles to DD's face and that's what counts. He's eliminated unauthorized boot tracks on my property, theft and vandalism. He's taken over the love seat, (but not the remote), snores, eats and craps like a logger, but he's very polite. I guess he will have to do until someday far, far away a man won't die or soil himself if he gets sniffed by the fluppy.


We know ultimatums over our animals is a dumb thing to do. Someone I love dearly did that to me a few years ago, get rid of the livestock and all but one little dog. De ja Moo, No. What next, the kid? 

I think 30 years ago people like Fixer-Upper guy who used his dogs to prevent human relationships and intimacy were rare. It's way common now to substitute pets for people. Look at the explosion of Emotional Therapy dogs. I have aquaintances who got dogs and lost all human relationships because the dogs are so bad.

Since we humans have very little insight into ourselves and our own behaviors, what doggy behaviors would you be comfortable asking somebody else to change to accommodate you in their life? What are the real deal breakers?

I can't handle doggy smooching or dogs on the bed. I would prefer all dogs go sleep in the barn, but since I have them in my house now, even on the furniture, I can't be picky about that anymore.


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

I don't know that I would be comfortable asking someone to change anything to accommodate me in their life......I would just tell them how I feel about something and see how they respond.

But what the heck do I know? 
I'm very single.:huh:


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## frogmammy (Dec 8, 2004)

I don't care for dogs that slobber a *LOT*...Mastiff, Saint Bernard, immediately come to mind...THAT level slobber. Nothing wrong with the dogs, they're just built that way.

No animal poop/pee inside the house, written in STONE!! That said, when my guys got old & sick and couldn't hold it any more, that was ok, we dealt with it. They'd given their lives to me, I would not abandon them.

No overt counter surfing! (covert counter surfing can be dealt with)

No leg humpers (however, allowed if "off switch" installed)

Just plain MEAN...to other animals or humans.

Don't especially like to share the bed with animals, BUT a bigger bed solves THAT problem. My old girl used to take her half of the bed...out of the middle...of a twin bed :sob:

Mon


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

roadless said:


> I don't know that I would be comfortable asking someone to change anything to accommodate me in their life......I would just tell them how I feel about something and see how they respond.
> 
> But what the heck do I know?
> I'm very single.:huh:


I think we're all very single, looks like I'll be staying that way for a while from what the boys say about my puppy.


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

I suppose pets and kids should be well mannered and not interfere with the adults.


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

It is nice when the adults are well mannered too!&#9825;


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## sherry in Maine (Nov 22, 2007)

my late dh separated me from my dogs, the first few years of our marriage. We lived rurally, and I knew no one around. He didn't like dogs that much. He at times was a bully. He didn't want them in the house, but they came in anyway. He made tie outs for them very far from the house, and could not understand why they were not happy (barked all the time) He kindly made them a small enclosure and house outdoors for them to sleep in. (that was ok with me, except for extreme weather, then they came in. He ocasionally was abusive toward them (he drank) and I could stop him by telling him I would call authorities. (he would never go very far, but it was still abuse).

Years later, I had a german shepherd, I loved her dearly. She never had to be leashed, always followed, seemed to know good people from bad (protected me from 2 guys once on an eveing walk). He never abused her, but never had a thing to do with her. The only time he would interact with her was to give her a command. (she ignored him each time, and he hated that) He and his siblings never liked dogs; I found out later. I asked why, but never got an answer. Seems to run in families.
When this time came round (decided to try and date year after death of dh) I told everyone 'I have a lot of dogs. If you don't like dogs, don't come here'

The dogs told me who was OK and who was not. (so did my parrot, but that is another story)


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

some people do take it too far though imho. I remember a couple years back there was a guy on one of the dating sites who mostly had pics of his dog. a big dog!. he contacted me. it put me off so I more or less handed him over to my friend. 

he had the dog with him and they went to his place. where the dog sat between them on the sofa the whole time and that was all he talked about. she said it was the most boring date she was ever on. 
I think she lasted an hour or so . we had a signal between us where she would call me at a certain time if she wanted out. I couldn't have lasted that long myself. 

I like dogs. not big slobbering ones though. my son had 2 bull mastiffs before the ones he has now. they would slobber all over me like 2 kids. probably because they knew I always had treats for them. I always had smaller dogs. I plan to have another soon. ~Georgia


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## sherry in Maine (Nov 22, 2007)

no, dogs don't belong on dates, unless they are service dogs.
Well, that is just me.
I'll bet there are lots of dog loving people who bring their dogs on dates with one another. It's ok, as long as it is ok with both parties.


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## FarmerJoe (Nov 14, 2009)

My ex was, still is a crazy cat lady, so I'm a little gun shy when it comes to cats. When we met she had about a doz. inside. Many were wild strays that she befriended and coaxed inside. Some were still wild and only came out to eat. When she moved in here, some were converted to outdoor cats. When the crate was opened three took off across the field never to be seen again! She couldn't get rid of a problem cat. Some would pee on the recliner or living room carpet or crap on the sofa. Some was medical and some was behavior but she wouldn't get rid of them.


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

Laura said:


> On another board a guy stated his *new *girlfriend told him the care and attention he gives to his dog gets in the way of their relationship. I didn't respond because, "Get a new girlfriend," probably wouldn't be welcome. I'd like to ask how the dog feels about her but it's not a country folk forum.
> 
> I do think it's a common issue and valid topic to explore since most of us have dogs. When my friends and I became independent adults, we entered the world with well trained working dogs on heel. Men come and go, but the dog is always loyal. Always trust the dog.
> 
> ...


Dog on date? Negative Ghost Rider.

Honestly, it never dawned on me that my girls would be a 'dating issue'; but when I think about it, makes sense.

I am NOT a cat person; not a fan of animals that poop in the house on the regular.....(hamsters, snakes, gerbils, lizards, fish, etc....)
If I walked into a 'dates' home and he had multiple cats...that might weird me out! lol

I would be very upfront and honest about my girls (2 female Jack Russell Terriers) they jump when you first walk in, they will bark at you and give you the hairy eye until they get to know you; then they will want to lay in your lap. They are walked 3 or more times a day, on a leash. They are allowed on the furniture, and they do sleep w/ me.

My girls are here, 24/7.
They are my one constant in life.
They are a pretty big priority........


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## FarmChix (Mar 3, 2013)

No way would I let anyone make me get rid of my baby....his love is unconditional.


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## OffGridCooker (Jan 29, 2010)

I can see how someone could be so obsessed with a pet that it would interfere with a relationship.
And this behavior could be an indication that the person has an obsessive personality.

Obsession could be good thing now, if the obsession was to serve you, and the obsession was to make you happy! And if you like a lot of attention!


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## Truckinguy (Mar 8, 2008)

AmericanStand said:


> I suppose pets and kids should be well mannered and not interfere with the adults.


Yup, this. I understand how people love their animals and if I could work from home or find a job with decent hours I would love to get a dog but driving a truck requires me to work long days quite often and it wouldn't be fair to the dog.

However, I think that I would draw the line at dogs sleeping in the bed and dogs that don't mind their owner. I get that dogs can be excited when someone comes over, my brother has three dogs and I get mobbed at the door when I go there but when the owner says to get down, I expect the dog(s) to get down and be obedient. When the dog jumps on me and the owner says to get down and then it keeps happening every five minutes it can get quite annoying.

If a women can't separate themselves from their animals from time to time to spend some alone time with me I would have to wonder which relationship is more important. However, I've been single most of my life so what do I know?


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## fishhead (Jul 19, 2006)

Get rid of my dogs? What kind of person would even ask that? Certainly not one I would want to spend much time with.


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## fishhead (Jul 19, 2006)

This supposed to be a craigslist ad about rehoming.


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

no wonder my son is still single. he sleeps with 2 labs and a beagle! ~Georgia


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## oneraddad (Jul 20, 2010)

It's always a three dog night in my home


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## Fishindude (May 19, 2015)

I like dogs, but frankly there are a whole lot of people out there that are "pet crazy". 

Not a fan of dogs and cats in the house, sleeping with animals, animals on the upholstered furniture, playing kissy face with animals, etc.

Love a good old, outdoor, ride in the back of the truck, hang around in the garage, stick fetching, varmint chasing, country dog.


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## oneraddad (Jul 20, 2010)

It don't get much more outdoorsy than this.


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

Wow, just beautiful raddad......and love the river/creek too.....


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## oneraddad (Jul 20, 2010)

Thank you Roadless. Who said country dogs can't come in the house ? Not Me !


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## azuresky (Feb 26, 2012)

Sounds like there is a story behind that advice.


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## Bungiex88 (Jan 2, 2016)

i love dogs but they have to be well trained and obedient. Nothing drives me up the wall when someone has a dog they didn not properly train. Aggressive, and not house trained. I do not confuse aggressive with protective. I dog that growls when you get close to its food or bones is unacceptable. People that have dogs pee and poop in the house shouldnt have dogs to begin with. That would be a deal breaker for me with a woman had a dog the used the bathroom all through the house or snapped at me every time i walked passed it while it was eating.


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

I remember back in 2014 I think it was there were 125 cats taken from one small house just a few blocks away. what a mess that was! the guys had to go in with Hasmat suits and they said they could smell it through the masks. 

there was a mother and 2 adult children lived there. everything was full of the mess even the bedrooms. I've often wondered how people live under those conditions. probably lived like it so long they don't notice it after awhile. got to be unhealthy though not to mention life threatening. although I never heard of anyone dying and we have had several incidents like that around here. ~Georgia


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## oneraddad (Jul 20, 2010)

This morning we woke to more snow


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## oneraddad (Jul 20, 2010)

After I shoveled the back deck they wanted to take another photo.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

What I can't deal with is yelling at animals to get their attention to try to make them mind. Unless your dog is clear across the field, you don't know how to whistle and you're calling him by name, buh-bye.

We had a social gathering last fall which included 2 Australian cattle dogs, 2 Australian shepherds and a border collie mix. It's not very often these dogs get to play with their own kind. They tested each other, busted out in bright eyes and big smiles and flew into action. All teeth, noise and bouncy springs flying, having a great time making up their own games. One of their games was choosing a large dog of other species and penning like sheep. Everyone cooperated. These big dogs moved and sat in their spots going, "Whoa, that's intense!"  They were away from people within whistle distance. 

It was nostalgic for me, especially when I realized the other cow dog owners are the people I trust the most. Our working dogs are our right hand back ups in most situations. They work closely with us observing, learning what needs to be done and how to do it. They don't always wait for commands, they learn to run the farm without us and love to ride on pick ups. They also imitate our manners, attitudes and behaviors. If your dog's a jerk and can't play nice with others during play time, chances are neither can you. I do understand not all breeds are meant for this.

Are cow dog people compatible with toy lap dog people or Persian cat people?


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

You can tell about all you need to know about a person by how they treat their animals. In a few months they'll be treating you the same way. 
My two are well into middle age now. I suppose they'll be gone in five years or so. We've had a good life together, and they've added to mine, greatly. I'll not betray the love and trust they have shared with me. 
Mutzo only comes in at supper time, so I can feed her inside, and when it's very cold out. She'll pee in the house if you don't pay close attention. I think that is why she was dumped in the country. I thought she just wasn't house trainable but, over the years, have learned that she does let you know she needs to go outside, just very subtly. 

She is s very standoffish girl. I had her 6 years before she ever licked my hand. We're a good match. I know she loves me. We've been through a lot together. I am honored that she trusts me.


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## FarmChix (Mar 3, 2013)

My golden will respond to me just clapping twice. That's how I call him in. I'm never out there yelling his name. I agree that there is nothing worse than a dog who will just do his business anywhere in the house. Mine is not allowed in the kitchen, nor on furniture. That being said, he has his own bed and is quite spoiled. He's at his best behavior when the grill is going....he gets the scraps. I was raised with labs and I never thought I would love another dog as much as a lab. Then, I got my golden...... 

I can send him out to run off deer (at the old house where we couldn't shoot). In the middle of a dead run, two claps of the hands and he is on his way back to Momma. He is absolutely the smartest dog I have ever owned.


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## frogmammy (Dec 8, 2004)

Laura said:


> What I can't deal with is yelling at animals to get their attention to try to make them mind. ....


Likely the same people who do that do it with their kids, too. And you often find them at the grocery store:

Don't stand up in the cart. Sit down or you'll fall. Sit down. I'll tell your father. I said sit down. Sit down. Sit down now. You won't get any ice cream if you don't sit down. Please sit down. Don't touch that. Put that down.

Good grief!

Lady, quit nagging! Either put it on a leash or train it!

Oddly, the parent gets mostly disturbed that I've called their kid an "it"....

Mon


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

I came by our awesome XL well mannered farm dog because his former owner's wife gave him the ultimatum, "Me or the dog." The guy was pretty choked up about losing his dog. One hectic morning while new dog was still on crate shut down, he barked. Little stockdog told him, "No barking in the house." The poor new dog puked. It reminded me of the dynamics of his former owners. Little dog took it upon herself to teach New Dog how to play. He no longer pukes.


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## RideBarefoot (Jun 29, 2008)

Laura, so glad New Dog ended up with you! Major upgrade.

I feel sorry for the former owner; his life (while he's still married) will always be "ME or..."


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## no really (Aug 7, 2013)

I don't think anyone I date for any length of time, long enough to know me would want me to get rid of my dog or any other animal I have. 

I did date one guy for awhile that thought I had to many friends and family, the idiot expected me to drop life long friends and family. I don't do control freaks.


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## MattB4 (Jan 3, 2016)

Dog and cats have a rather short life span of 10-20 years at most and may already be several years old. Women on the other hand may need taking cared of for 50+ years! You want to be darn careful before taking on that responsibility. You are likely to have many pets over a lifetime whereas you might only outlive a couple of women. 

That said, a persons pets and their response to them, can tell you a awful lot about what kind of person they are. Take notice.


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