# Comments about Elfie's Travels



## trixiwick (Jun 9, 2004)

Well, for better or for worse, he's on his way. Sorry, Stan. You and your family seemed really nice, and I hope Elfie brings you no bad news.

Note to Aintlifegrand: I started off the goody bag for you, which I hope will be quite full when the Evil One reaches you at last. I was in a diner and looking to buy a little bag of Pennsylvania Dutch candy, but then DH saw a little plastic gravestone with the following inscription:

"I will be with you always, to the very end of the world."

DH has a good eye for these things.  So that's your memento from me. 

Oh, and one more thing. I had thought Elfie weighed 30-35 pounds. Uh, no. I'd say more like 50. He may have gained some recently. If you are a small-built woman who is not used to lugging around feed bags, you may want to consider recruiting a little help if you've volunteered to transport Elfie.

Looking forward to seeing all of the trouble ahead!


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## A'sta at Hofstead (Sep 20, 2006)

So who gets him after Stan?? We need pics! I wish he could be here now, I would have taken him to the Red Sox parade... oh well.


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## Aintlifegrand (Jun 3, 2005)

trixiwick said:


> Well, for better or for worse, he's on his way. Sorry, Stan. You and your family seemed really nice, and I hope Elfie brings you no bad news.
> 
> Note to Aintlifegrand: I started off the goody bag for you, which I hope will be quite full when the Evil One reaches you at last. I was in a diner and looking to buy a little bag of Pennsylvania Dutch candy, but then DH saw a little plastic gravestone with the following inscription:
> 
> ...


loL... Tell your DH " thanks"...


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## trixiwick (Jun 9, 2004)

I believe the next step is stanb999 in northeastern PA to Triffin in CT, and probably on to suelandress and northward from there. I am very happy to say IT is out of my hands now! :dance:


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## Michael W. Smith (Jun 2, 2002)

trixiwick said:


> I believe the next step is stanb999 in northeastern PA to Triffin in CT, and probably on to suelandress and northward from there. I am very happy to say IT is out of my hands now! :dance:


HEY, wait a minute, he needs to head up to Northwest PA before crossing over to CT!!! As for Elfie gaining weight, I'm sure he has been getting more evil all along and apparently evil has weight to it!


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## trixiwick (Jun 9, 2004)

Michael W. Smith said:


> HEY, wait a minute, he needs to head up to Northwest PA before crossing over to CT!!! As for Elfie gaining weight, I'm sure he has been getting more evil all along and apparently evil has weight to it!


I am hoping that he'll work his way up to Maine (meeting Stephen King, if he's very lucky) and then back down via upstate New York to western PA and the midwest.

In other news, when we picked up Elfie, we saw that he has his original price of $8.99 Magic-markered on his base.


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## bill not in oh (Jul 27, 2004)

You can't buy enough cement to make him for 9 bucks....


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## Shygal (May 26, 2003)

Does that mean my turn is coming up soon then? :help:

Actually, looking at the map, if he went up the coast to Maine, I could get him on the way back from maybe Asta? and bring him to someone in NY.


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## bill not in oh (Jul 27, 2004)

Do ya want me to send you a feed bag to put over his head? I've got a bunch of them...


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## A'sta at Hofstead (Sep 20, 2006)

Shygal said:


> Does that mean my turn is coming up soon then? :help:
> 
> Actually, looking at the map, if he went up the coast to Maine, I could get him on the way back from maybe Asta? and bring him to someone in NY.


Sounds like a plan!


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## suelandress (May 10, 2002)

Ok. I'll get him from Triffin and pass him ont o whom? Asta?


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## Cara (May 9, 2002)

OH! My daughter just had the BEST idea....an Elfie MySpace! She volunteered to do it.


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## cindyc (Nov 12, 2005)

Don't know if we can let elfie get famous on myspace now. That might draw attention from the kind of unsavory people who would be interested in elfie, and they might aide and abet him, and then there could be rammifications...

oh...

ahem...

Carry on, then. :baby04: 

Cindyc.


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## trixiwick (Jun 9, 2004)

Cara said:


> OH! My daughter just had the BEST idea....an Elfie MySpace! She volunteered to do it.


I think we need to be really, really careful about this. What if he meets a female elf, and...(shudders)

Oh, the ramifications could be very dreadful indeed.


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## bill not in oh (Jul 27, 2004)

Cara said:


> OH! My daughter just had the BEST idea....an Elfie MySpace! She volunteered to do it.


On a serious note.... I've given thought to the issue of publicity. It would be very easy for someone to get the idea of joining HT, volunteering to transport him, and actually kidnapping him. Within the current community, I think Elfie's very safe and will make his way, wandering across America, eventually to ALG. However when you involve folks that may have ulterior motives... There would be no way to create a web presence of Elfie's adventure that couldn't easily be traced back to HT. Call me paranoid, but I think it would be asking for trouble.


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## Cara (May 9, 2002)

Good thought, Bill. We need a voice of reason.  We'll have to content ourselves with this travel journal.


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## Jim S. (Apr 22, 2004)

Well, let me know when he comes down South...I've got biscuits n gravy waiting!


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## trixiwick (Jun 9, 2004)

Jim S. said:


> Well, let me know when he comes down South...I've got biscuits n gravy waiting!


Just what Elfie needs...to gain some more weight! :1pig:


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## triana1326 (Feb 13, 2006)

I believe that Asta will be giving Elfie to me, and I will be transporting him to someone in NH (not sure yet). I'll see what I can do about getting a meeting with Stephen King. I know he lives around here somewhere...


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## Michael W. Smith (Jun 2, 2002)

Well once he makes it into New York, somebody has to take Elfie to The Today Show. (I'm quite certain somebody lugging a concrete elf around The Today Show program would make somebody from the show curious. Once talking to somebody from the show, you could arrange an interview with Matt Lauer & Merideth Vieira and tell them about Elfie, his journey across America, and how he is evil and spreading . . . . . ummmmmm okay . . . . . . just tell them about Elfie and his journey across America. You HAVE to mention the good folks here at Homesteading Today. 

Matt & Merideth could even go as far as to interview Trixiwick (the previous owner) and Ain'tlifegrand (the future owner - well, I guess she already has ownership just hasn't taken possession of Elfie yet or is it Elfie hasn't taken possession of her yet) anyway . . . . . . . . they both could be interviewed.

And a sidenote - whoever takes Elfie to The Today Show, please make sure both Matt & Merideth touch Elfie. I really don't like either one of them, so could care less whatever evil befalls them.


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## Karen (Apr 17, 2002)

I know there is a "logical" route for Elfie; but why not let him make the rounds of everyone who is interested in transporting him? Let him see most of the US instead of a "logical route" where few will get to see him; plus we'll have more HT interaction, too!


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## Feral Nature (Feb 21, 2007)

trixiwick said:


> In other news, when we picked up Elfie, we saw that he has his original price of $8.99 Magic-markered on his base.


Not to firighten anyone but that wasn't a price on his base, it was a smudged and upside down 666 :flame: 

Nothing a peice of well placed duct tape a trip to sunday school won't fix.


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## bill not in oh (Jul 27, 2004)

In theory, that could work, Karen. However there would have to be certain folks willing to travel pretty far to hand him off.for instance, wy_white_wolf could fairly reasonably receive Elfie while in Wyoming from Cheryl in SD and take him back to their primary residence in Montana. But from there it's about 525 miles to SquashNut in Northern Idaho. So even if they met halfway, it would be over a 500 mile round trip for both. Then SquashNut still has to pass the evil little guy off to mayfair in Washington, another 350 mile leg. There's a point that the 'juice ain't worth the squeeze' for some folks, I think. SquashNut may be willing to do that, I don't know. If not, it is a 850 mile leg to naturewoman (Oregon) from either of wy_white_wolf's locations if he's going to continue west. And given the benefits of spending a few days with Radiofish, I'm pretty certain he has his sights set on Northern CA! There's just some gaps in the 'grid'. Perhaps now that he's started his Odyssey of Evil, maybe some more folks will jump on the bandwagon and some of the gaps will fill in. I hope so.


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## stanb999 (Jan 30, 2005)

bill in oh said:


> In theory, that could work, Karen. However there would have to be certain folks willing to travel pretty far to hand him off.for instance, wy_white_wolf could fairly reasonably receive Elfie while in Wyoming from Cheryl in SD and take him back to their primary residence in Montana. But from there it's about 525 miles to SquashNut in Northern Idaho. So even if they met halfway, it would be over a 500 mile round trip for both. Then SquashNut still has to pass the evil little guy off to mayfair in Washington, another 350 mile leg. There's a point that the 'juice ain't worth the squeeze' for some folks, I think. SquashNut may be willing to do that, I don't know. If not, it is a 850 mile leg to naturewoman (Oregon) from either of wy_white_wolf's locations if he's going to continue west. And given the benefits of spending a few days with Radiofish, I'm pretty certain he has his sights set on Northern CA! There's just some gaps in the 'grid'. Perhaps now that he's started his Odyssey of Evil, maybe some more folks will jump on the bandwagon and some of the gaps will fill in. I hope so.


I have to totally agree. I've found it quite impossible to get Elfie to New England without a min. of 300 miles. That is one way. So I'm figuring he's unfortunately going west. As the same folks would have to transport him both ways most likely.


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## bill not in oh (Jul 27, 2004)

Stan, unless I've really misplaced you or triffin, Google make the trip at 130 miles. If triff could meet you half way that would lighten the load a bit. Of course then triff has to arrange with Sue to get him to her. Then, the real jump takes place - sue to ?... A'sta, triana or Shygal.... Fun folks, I suspect... and beautiful country.... but still a pretty good trip. If the four of them could get together at say A'sta's for the day, then they could do a 30 minute run into Maine to log the state, and Shygal could extract him from New England. After all this entire program is more about HT members gettin' together than actually delivering the chunk of concrete....


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## stanb999 (Jan 30, 2005)

bill in oh said:


> Stan, unless I've really misplaced you or triffin, Google make the trip at 130 miles. If triff could meet you half way that would lighten the load a bit. Of course then triff has to arrange with Sue to get him to her. Then, the real jump takes place - sue to ?... A'sta, triana or Shygal.... Fun folks, I suspect... and beautiful country.... but still a pretty good trip. If the four of them could get together at say A'sta's for the day, then they could do a 30 minute run into Maine to log the state, and Shygal could extract him from New England. After all this entire program is more about HT members gettin' together than actually delivering the chunk of concrete....


Triffin Said he can't do it. He has prior commitments.
I'd have to take him to Shygirl or Suelandress.
Believe me I've asked everyone closer.......
And for the record Sue is like 230 one way.......And it ain't a country mile. It's 100 in the city.


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## Karen (Apr 17, 2002)

For those with very long distances, why couldn't Elfie be securely wrapped and shipped to the next person via DHL, UPS, etc.?


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## bill not in oh (Jul 27, 2004)

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ It's probably over $100 to ship him from Billings, Mt to Priest River, ID. That being said, I'd be willing to chip in (occasionally) to defray the shipping cost if Elfie did get stuck. Right now there are about 100 folks on board to get Elfie from point A to point B and if there was the [occasional] need to put him on a UPS truck or Greyhound bus that would not be much expense to any one person if everyone chipped in. The logistics of that would be a PITA (we can say that on the Elfie Forum), but I think it could be worked out... I have a Paypal account, and although I'm not willing to front the money, we might be able to start an "emergency transit" fund. Any unused donations in the account could be donated to HT or a charity to be determined by democratic process voted on by contributors or refunded pro rata back to the donors.

Thoughts? comments?


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## RachAnn in NW Okla (Aug 28, 2002)

I think that when you take on the elf, you are making a commitment to getting him to his next destination.....so if you wont be able to drive or pay to ship then maybe you shouldnt take on the Elf

I will have to drive quite a few miles to both get AND get rid of the Elf so I understand the risks involved but want to play along too! it will prob be expensive for me but I KNOW this already!

Rachel


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## suelandress (May 10, 2002)

Where is Elfie now?


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## bill not in oh (Jul 27, 2004)

suelandress said:


> Where is Elfie now?


NE Pennsylvania (FreightTrain). Tomorrow he should be on his way to New England courtesy of Shygal (who will probably transport him with a bag over him).

You can track Elfie's progress on the map referenced in the sticky post in the forum.


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## Shygal (May 26, 2003)

Thursday, Bill, not tomorrow...as far as things have been planned out anyway , and :help: Im scared!


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## trixiwick (Jun 9, 2004)

Shygal said:


> Thursday, Bill, not tomorrow...as far as things have been planned out anyway , and :help: Im scared!


I appreciate it, Shygal...and I applaud you for your courage!


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## bill not in oh (Jul 27, 2004)

Thank you for the correction Shygal - I'm not sure why I thought today. After thinking about it, I don't remember anything in Abe's post that indicated timing. Must be a reaction to daylight saving time... LOL

I offered to send you a feed sack.... :rotfl:


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## Michael W. Smith (Jun 2, 2002)

bill in oh said:


> Thank you for the correction Shygal - I'm not sure why I thought today. After thinking about it, I don't remember anything in Abe's post that indicated timing.


See, look at that. Elfie is already scrambling bill in oh's brain - and he hasn't even touched Elfie yet!!

Yes Shygal!!!! You should be very afraid!!!!!!!! I'm afraid a feed sack over his head isn't enough. He should actually be put into a locked steel box (can you borrow a coffin?) so he can't get to you.

Maybe I've watched too many movies. But those "inanimate" objects aren't inanimate - they CAN move around. I can just imagine being a transporter and bringing Elfie into the house (you don't want him escaping into the neighborhood of calling his evil followers) for safekeeping. You put him just inside the front door, yet when you wake up Elfie is staring at you from in your bedroom!!!!  

Of course, you blame your spouse, who only blames you. If you have nobody else living with you, then who do you blame?!? And that's only the first night and you have to hold onto him for several more days until you can "deliver the package". What do you do then? I doubt a locked room would keep him in - he would have hours to work his way out somehow - through a window, through the air duct, break down the door!!!

Sorry Shygal. You should be scared. VERY, VERY SCARED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Shygal (May 26, 2003)

Michael W. Smith said:


> I can just imagine being a transporter and bringing Elfie into the house (you don't want him escaping into the neighborhood of calling his evil followers) for safekeeping. You put him just inside the front door, yet when you wake up Elfie is staring at you from in your bedroom!!!!



Thanks a lot, I still have nightmares of that darned Twilight Zone episode with Telly Savalas and the doll that he crushed in a vice, etc. "You better be nice to meeeeeeeeeee" 
Im on my way to pick up Elfie today...........


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## A'sta at Hofstead (Sep 20, 2006)

Shygal said:


> Thanks a lot, I still have nightmares of that darned Twilight Zone episode with Telly Savalas and the doll that he crushed in a vice, etc. "You better be nice to meeeeeeeeeee"
> Im on my way to pick up Elfie today...........


"My name is talking Tina... and I don't like you" heee heee!


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## NWoods_Hippie (Nov 16, 2006)

By the time Elfie gets up here to me in the Northwoods I can probably take him Icefishing!! How many of you would risk taking our "beloved" Evil One out on the ICE!!

Margie


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## Shygal (May 26, 2003)

When I showed Elfie to my children today, (they have no idea of who Elfie is, or anything about him), the first thing my daughter said was "Ewwwwwwww that thing is SCARY" and my son looked at Elfie and said "it looks EVIL" .

This from two that have no clue of Elfie's past and evil tendencies


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## bill not in oh (Jul 27, 2004)

That's too funny, Shy. How old are they? Perfect example of the innocence (and intuitiveness) of childhood...


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## Shygal (May 26, 2003)

My daughter is 8 and my son is 13 LoL

Tomorrow Elfie is going to take a tour of the area, I swear it is getting heavier by the day, maybe the evil is growing


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## bill not in oh (Jul 27, 2004)

Haven't seen this, huh? (last post). There's potential...

http://www.homesteadingtoday.com/showthread.php?t=215328


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## Michael W. Smith (Jun 2, 2002)

Shygal said:


> When I showed Elfie to my children today, (they have no idea of who Elfie is, or anything about him), the first thing my daughter said was "Ewwwwwwww that thing is SCARY" and my son looked at Elfie and said "it looks EVIL" .
> 
> This from two that have no clue of Elfie's past and evil tendencies


All the more reason to take him to the next transporter!!!! 

Somehow I get the feeling that through this whole process of transporting The Evil One, the current transporter will quickly be getting ahold of the next person in line.

Current transporter: "Hi, it's ___________, when can we make plans for you to take Elfie?"

Future transporter: "Well, Hi! Actually I'm kind of busy right now so probably can't take him until the end of the week."

Current transporter: "But . . . . but . . . . . but . . . I CAN'T WAIT THAT LONG!!!!!! I REALLY have to get Elfie out of my lif . . . . er . . . . . I mean, we really should get Elfie moving so Aintlifegrand doesn't have such a long wait. (Laughing to cover up the slip.) You know?

Future transporter: "Ummmm (thinking to self "What's WRONG with this person.) yeah, probably should. But like we talked about, there is like a 3 hour drive between your place & mine, so I won't be able to meet you half way until the end of the week."

Current transporter: (Who is now sobbing but trying to cover it up.) "Well, it's IMPERITIVE I get him delivered to you. I'm just going to drive the 3 hours to your house TONIGHT?!?" 

Future transporter: (Thinking to self "What kind of nut case is THIS?") "Ummmmm . . . . . . but it's already 8:30 now. That means you won't get here until at least 11:30, and then if we chat some, by the time you get back home it will be after 2:30 in the morning."

Current transporter: "Ha, ha! I don't care! I stay up late anyway, but I REALLY need to do this and tonight. Ha, ha! Sorry, but once I get there and you get him, I have to leave immediately because of the evi . . . . . errrrr . . . . ummmm . . . . I mean, I just have to leave . . . . . . yeah, I have to leave to back home!!!! Ha, ha! Okay, see you around 11:30!!!!!! Ha, ha! By." (Click.)

Future tranporter "Hello . . . . . . . HELLO?!?"


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## suelandress (May 10, 2002)

OK Michael. This wiretapping HAS to stop!!


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