# How Are You Coming With This?



## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

I thought this was an interesting article and germane to many of our forum members, especially as many of us are on our own and dealing with the issue alone.

http://www.reuters.com/article/2014/03/06/us-adults-possessions-idUSBREA2520F20140306

_Based on a national survey, a new study finds that after age 50, people become less and less likely to sell or donate items they no longer need - possibly because doing so becomes more and more difficult, physically or emotionally.

"Having too many things is an obstacle to (older adults) being able to move to or live somewhere" smaller that better suits them, said lead author David Ekerdt, who is director of the gerontology center at Kansas University in Lawrence.
_
Like most people my age, I have too much stuff. I give away things to friends, but that doesn't really make a dent. Recently I've made a concerted effort to sort through one fill-in-the-blank per week: Drawer, box-in-a-closet, like that. I'm pleased to say I'm making decent headway with this approach. Since I go to town about once a week, stopping at the local St. Vinnie's is an easy detour.

It's the sentimental stuff I struggle with, though, like the article says. The old 33 LPs, keepsakes, like that. I get as brutal as I can, but in the end, I had to start a few boxes that are labeled, "Rae's Junk Meaningful to No One but Her -- Haul Unopened to Dump Upon Her Demise." That's working for me. 

Do you own your stuff, or does it own you?


----------



## Cornhusker (Mar 20, 2003)

I've thought about that a lot
I think my stuff owns me. 
If I kept just what I use, or even look at once in a while, I could get by in a very small house.
I've even gone so far as to add it all up in my head what I'd make if I had a sale and sold everything I don't need or use.


----------



## oneraddad (Jul 20, 2010)

I sold my house at the height of the housing boom. Put Everything in a storage unit and moved down by the river in my VW bus. Then I kept an eye out for the perfect property. When I found it, I bought a 27' travel trailer and moved in. It took me two years to build a place and get my stuff out of storage. And thats just what it was STUFF.

I own nothing that owns me, it's all disposable.


----------



## foaly (Jan 14, 2008)

I now own my late grandparents' home.......and four generations of stuff. Thankfully, there's a full basement that can accommodate all the stuff that is being weeded through as time allows. Hopefully, I have a few more years left on earth to get it sorted, tossed, or declared a treasure.


----------



## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

I'm pretty lucky, I lost almost all of my stuff. I have a few things, but they're just things.


----------



## Guest (Mar 12, 2014)

Cleaning out my barns this week, some things only have a meaning to me. I dust them off and keep them one more year.


----------



## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

I'm decluttering also lately. took several boxes to VV last week. I still got a lot. I can't possible get rid of anything in my dining room although I did put one cup and saucer in one of the boxes. I thought I could part with some stuff in my linen closet. I got through one shelf and put it all back in again. although who needs 50 tea cloths. I do apparently. I have a lot of Edwardian and Victorian linens.

I think what i'll do is put a bunch of stuff in a box like Rae did for when I'm gone. my son wouldn't be interested only to use it for rags or wrap the dogs in it. I did get rid of 3 large bottles of pennies. they were only collecting dust. we can't spend them. I still have a few boxes of those that are older ones. I haven't even thought of clothes yet. I have 43 sweaters but they are all in like new condition because I take care of my clothes . I suppose I could get rid of a couple. a black sweater high end is always in style. I did take down a jacket that I bought last year and only wore twice.

i'm thinking of building a small cottage on my country property just the one level and I would not have room for all this if I sold this house which eventually I would want to do( although I do have sheds out there for storing.) I don't think I'd want the bother of 2 places in the years to come. especially when I get my gardens and greenhouse going again. I guess you could say my stuff owns me especially the linens and china. ~Georgia.


----------



## oneraddad (Jul 20, 2010)

Don't burden your kids with stuff that won't mean anything to them.


----------



## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Heck with the kids. Whatever I leave, is more than they had before, and maybe theres something I have that theyed like to have but cant see spending the money for. Whatever I have that they don't want is likely an antique, and they'll be the richer for inheriting it. They can sell what they don't wont. Wont hurt my feelings at all once im gone. lol My stuff owns me.

My X has said several times shed like to get American Pickers out here once. Said theyed go nutz


----------



## Tommyice (Dec 5, 2010)

Georgia after seeing your tea time setups, I wouldn't mind being owned. LOL You've beautiful things! Enjoy them!

Seems we all seem to be on the "decluttering bus" lately. I've also been in a serious nest feathering state lately. No explanation for that other than one of my co-workers is pregnant and I feel a lot of empathy. LOL


----------



## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

My stuff doesn't own me as much as my main hobby does. 

I have plenty of stuff sitting around that I need to get rid of. I don't keep most of it around for sentimental reasons though. It's more that I don't think about sorting it and taking the time to donate. Or, I get it sorted and set aside and never get it donated. An out of site, out of mind kind of thing.

It's amazing the amount of stuff that can be accumulated without even realizing it. When I moved here, it was to a house half the size. I got rid of a huge, enormous amount and still filled most of two large u-hauls. :facepalm: It took most of one truck just to haul the shelving, fabric, quilting machine and assorted sewing related things.

I'm going to start purging again shortly, if this new house comes through. It is so huge though, that we'll probably end up feeling like we're walking around an empty house after we move in. And Lord help me if I ever have to move from it!


----------



## Tommyice (Dec 5, 2010)

Terri I know something about those hobbies owning us. I have a box of buttons from my great-grandmother (she was a seamstress). The box contains about 7 pounds of Bakelite buttons. My greatest enemy seems to be time. I want to get them organized and sold, but time keeps getting in my way.


----------



## Guest (Mar 12, 2014)

Here, Leslie, this will help your perspectives: 

[YOUTUBE]0s9R8nUYtdg[/YOUTUBE]


----------



## Hornacopia (Dec 15, 2012)

I've got lots of "stuff." But not much that doesn't have a purpose. My shop is full of odds-n-ends that might come in handy down the road: nuts, bolts, nails, plumbing supplies, wire, fittings, lumber, metal, parts, etc., etc. Some people walk into my shop and say, "wow, there's a lot of crap in here." A true homesteader will walk into my shop and say, "looks like you're pretty well stocked for self-sufficiency."

I actually find myself storing certain things as I get older, almost as a sort of savings account. Especially supplies that I find a screaming deal on. I suppose I can attribute part of that to being raised by depression-era parents that never wasted anything. For example, Mom always had a dozen or more margarine tubs in the cupboard that she used instead of Tupperware. Dad always had jars and cans filled with nuts and bolts in the garage, and he was always picking up nuts and bolts from the ground. Waste not, want not.

What I don't have is a lot of commercial stuff that I don't need. I don't need every new electronic gadget, or stuff that doesn't have a purpose.

I've always figured whoever inherits my homestead gets it fully stocked and equipped, just like it is today. There will be a few family heirlooms that go to specific persons, and things like firearms and musical instruments that are willed to somebody, but the rest goes with the place.

Holding onto too much stuff after 50? Yup, and purposely.

Horn


----------



## arcticow (Oct 8, 2006)

Not much left, need to replace important things as able, no room for "stuff".


----------



## TxGypsy (Nov 23, 2006)

I got to counting things with tires on them the other day and was kind of shocked. No more trailers or zoom zoom toys!!! I really need to list some of the trailers on craigslist, but I haven't had time. Probably ought to list some of the toys too, but I don't wanna!

There was a time when everything I owned fit in a Rav 4 or the small utility trailer I pulled behind it with my motorcycle. I traveled and lived in a large tent working in beautiful remote locations. I really miss that time. It does seem as though the more things I have the more complicated life becomes and the more I am tied down.


----------



## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

every night mom made dad empty his pockets of screws and nuts etc.so they wouldn't go through the washer. I still can't pass a nail or screw without picking it up. that was my parents motto also .waste not want not. one of my jobs was to straighten the nails when dad would take apart sheds etc. he would reuse them. I must say he wouldn't let anyone else do it because I did it best. I still straighten out a bent nail. 

I forgot about all the stuff I have in the sheds,barn and whatnot. I know I have 5 water pumps in there.6 counting the one still in the mobile that has probably frozen this winter. whenever anything would go wrong with the pump my husband would buy another. darlin man had no idea how to repair stuff. now that I've bought my son a truck I should get those taken to the dump. ~Georgia.


----------



## brewswain (Dec 31, 2006)

of course I have a lot of stuff--I dont have a woman to spend my money on!


----------



## willow_girl (Dec 7, 2002)

I clean for an elderly hoarder. Over the course of several years, I've managed to make her house safe and navigable. The trade-off is that her garage and storage shed are packed literally floor to ceiling with boxes of ... stuff. The house is filling up again, but this time I have no place to put it. I'm worried!


----------



## oneraddad (Jul 20, 2010)

willow_girl said:


> I clean for an elderly hoarder. Over the course of several years, I've managed to make her house safe and navigable. The trade-off is that her garage and storage shed are packed literally floor to ceiling with boxes of ... stuff. The house is filling up again, but this time I have no place to put it. I'm worried!



I worked with two hoarders. Never knew they were hoarders until their junk collapsed on them and killed them.


----------



## Shrek (May 1, 2002)

Just get divorced in your 40s and half or more of your accumulated stuff will magically disappear


----------



## Oxankle (Jun 20, 2003)

LOL, Shrek; What was it the fellow said? Not going to get married again; he was just going to find a woman he disliked and give her half his belongings?

Someday before too many years have passed I'll have to get rid of this place. What in the dickens will I do with all this junk?


----------



## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

Leslie, maybe we should swap. I'll sort your buttons and you sort my sewing sh...stuff. We might actually get something accomplished that way. :happy2:


----------



## jwal10 (Jun 5, 2010)

When we came here to the beach cottage, I brought a fabric grocery bag of clothes, 1 apple box full and an extra pair of shoes. I took 1/2 full apple box back. I don't need much and don't buy anything unless the one I have is worn out or breaks. I don't have a watch or alarm clock. We live very simply....James


----------



## Oxankle (Jun 20, 2003)

LOL, James:
I cannot even get all my shorts in an apple box. Barb is forever bringing in stuff she gets in her travels. She never passes a garage sale or a thrift store or a retail outlet. Mostly she brings shirts, and lately suspenders. I need to load up an apple box or two for the thrift store in town and tell them not to sell any of it back to her.


----------



## Tommyice (Dec 5, 2010)

Terri in WV said:


> Leslie, maybe we should swap. I'll sort your buttons and you sort my sewing sh...stuff. We might actually get something accomplished that way. :happy2:


I have a feeling that the only that would accomplished would be you and I acquire more sewing sh....stuff. LOL

The decluttering isn't just in my house, I'm working on Dad's too. Today my late mother's piano went to a new home. She never taught any of us to play it and primarily played it when she thought no one was around. It was a beautiful upright but it was strictly a decoration that collected dust and other junk on top of it. 

I did keep her sheet music. I especially wanted her booklet of Claire de Lune--she played it constantly for my great grandmother.


----------



## CountryWannabe (May 31, 2004)

When we moved here, I was determined to not bring more than we absolutely needed, and I succeeded (sort of!) After we brought everything here you would never have known we had taken anything from the old place. I offered what was in the house to the kids - who took a few things - the rest we boxed up as "Donate" or "Trash". I have to say that I have not missed a single thing from a practical point of view, but not having a house full of books still hurts my heart even though I have no place here for them all - I had a BUNCH of built in bookcases in the old place. I brought the necessities, is all. I am making up for it by downloading lots and lots and lots of free kindle books onto my computer, but it isn't the same...

Mary


----------



## Jaclynne (May 14, 2002)

I have too much stuff. I have two full households of stuff. 

When I married the late dh, he had a house very full of stuff, and I had a house full too. We lived in his house because he had more land and I could have gardens and animals. 

I was good with that, except there was no room for my stuff. I had nicer stuff than he had, but he wasn't getting rid of or moving any of his stuff over to make room for mine. So my stuff stayed in my house until a family member wanted/needed to live there, then it was hurriedly packed up and moved to a house we had bought together. My stuff lived there alone in the 'our' house for the next 4 yrs. 

When dh died in 2011, someone wanted to buy his place, so I hurried packed my few possessions and moved to the 'our' house where I am still unpacking my former stuff. I'm enjoying my stuff. I still like it, just as I did when I acquired it yrs before. 

About his stuff - I threw away a ton of stuff, I gave away most of the furniture, and packed up things I could sell and added it to the already huge stash of stuff he had been collecting for yrs. Some of it I have never seen, there is a 40 ft container of it. 

Someday soon I have to get rid of it, and I will probably cull a few of my things as well. And that's the story of my stuff.


----------



## Jaclynne (May 14, 2002)

Hmmm, apparently my stuff is multiplying, it required two posts!


----------



## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

Oh, I so hope that isn't contagious!!! ^^^^


----------



## sdnapier (Aug 13, 2010)

Tommyice said:


> Terri I know something about those hobbies owning us. I have a box of buttons from my great-grandmother (she was a seamstress). The box contains about 7 pounds of Bakelite buttons. My greatest enemy seems to be time. I want to get them organized and sold, but time keeps getting in my way.


Ooooohhh, I'd love to see those buttons! Let us know when you are going to sell.

When I go there won't be much. My house almost echoes now because I have gotten rid of so much. The article doesn't hold true for this "older" person. I feel much better with less. Distilled down to what is absolutely necessary, life is easier


----------



## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

i have family items going back the civil war....i feel an obligation to hang on to items that those in my past used that is standing the test of time.

i like things that have connection and meaning to me....i dont really care about stuff.......its memory type thing........dont many people care about such things anymore.....so it can go to the junk after i am dead because if i done it now i feel like i would be parting with family......pictures and rocks from high mtn tops...deer heads and furs and broken arrows and spent shell casings...its all memories of my life and those behind me......

wanna see a knife my great grandaddy made?he made this knife..its for cutting hogs throats at butchering time..its sharp on both edges..it looks like a old hickory knife...but he made it. its not worth anything...but to me its priceless.they needed this item to live...he lived from 1876ish to 1961 and never drove or owned a car..he used horse and wagon/buggy.


----------



## Laura (May 10, 2002)

It's working well for me. My 1st stop in town is the consignment store to drop off inventory of lifetime collections of stuff separated from the crap that goes to the dumpster, or to work with me at a charity thrift store. The majority of the crap....uhhh, "valuable merchandise" becomes someone else's excited windfall before my very eyes. I get paid to see this.

The downside is having to clean out crap at the thrift store to make room for new stuff. The upside, somebody cut the lock off our dumpster and stole our garbage giving us more room to dump crap. The difficulty is not spending my paycheck to bring more stuff home. I am good at this now. The whack is getting ups boxes from my mom with crap I tried to get rid of 35 years ago.

When it comes to the sentimental crap, having DD19 with me is awesome! I found all my DDs' 1st Baby Shoes! GUSH! What do I do with them? I let them set for 24 hours and asked DD. "Give them to the Clothing Bank, Mom. We're not going to wear them again."

Books are tough!


----------



## oneraddad (Jul 20, 2010)

I have the first twenty bucks my Grandpa made after he made it to Ellis island in 1918 and a couple knifes he made years later.


----------



## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

Raeven said:


> *Do you own your stuff, or does it own you?*


I have always been the queen of purge.

1. Because I cannot stand clutter, boxes stuffed full of 'stuff', brick-a-brack etc.

2. Because if I cash in my chips tomorrow? I do NOT want my kids to have to wade thru mountains of crap. It's going to be ENOUGH to grieve, but to make them dig thru stuff, trying to decide 'keep, pitch, donate, sentimental value, etc'....I think that's cruel. I told them I want for them to be able to go thru my crap and pack the house.......IN A DAY. 1 Day.

HOWEVER COMMA:

We have come to the place where I am now purging 'childhood things'.
Old toy boxes, hot wheels, stuffed animals....
I have told them 1000 times......if you feel like I am giving away your youth, or there is something you want me to hang onto....let me know. I will stop, I will save, and it's ok.

I am in that stage of life where my babies, are young adults......closer to having kids of their own than being babies themselves......
Their whole lives (24 years) I have invested myself 100%, in them.
NOW it's their time to spread their wings and fly. Do what they have been taught.
It's my time to do the same......

The transition, is not easy.
Sometimes I am plagued with guilt, like I am 'giving away their childhood'.
Sometimes I am don't want to put anything in the goodwill pile....because if I don't goodwill it, then that means they are not going to leave soon. (HA HA HA HA so I tell myself)
Sometimes, I just do it.

SO MANY HUGE life changes in the last 2 years......sometimes it takes my breath away.

Does anyone else get a little 'gas' when giving away the kids stuff?


----------



## oneraddad (Jul 20, 2010)

I also have my Grandma's gold medallion and my Dad's ashes I wear everyday just so I can be close to them.


----------



## SilverFlame819 (Aug 24, 2010)

Just yesterday I was organizing the stuff in my storage shed, and I told the friend who was with me (half of the storage shed is her stuff), "You know, if I was to die tomorrow, the people sorting through this shed would be able to use almost all of this stuff... And the rest of it they would totally laugh at, but could then sell on eBay because it's collector's items from back in the day." *lol* 

I think that some of my stuff owns me, but I own most of my stuff. I hold onto things tightly because most things of importance to my heart have left as quickly as they came, and now I have a hard time letting go. If need be though, I can hand things over quite easily to others who might need them more.


----------



## Ramblin Wreck (Jun 10, 2005)

I'm pretty good at either using something or passing it on, but the garage needs a good cleaning. If my sister will ever pick up the mower I gave her, it will give me the maneuvering room I need to get started on that project. That's my excuse anyway, and it is kinda' true/accurate.


----------



## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

I took a bunch and dropped it off at VV today. then I decided to park and go in just on the off chance there might be something I liked. came out with more than I took in. ~Georgia.


----------



## Laura (May 10, 2002)

newfieannie said:


> I took a bunch and dropped it off at VV today. then I decided to park and go in just on the off chance there might be something I liked. came out with more than I took in. ~Georgia.


It's a successful day when those who donate carry out more than they brought in, and I don't. :sing:


----------



## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

so I'm working in earnest today. I took a good look at the situation last night and decided I'd throw out 10 or so things a day. I've gotten up to more than that today so far.no wonder I couldn't get a cupboard door closed tightly. found 40 pks teabags with 100 bags each. course I'm not throwing them out but I made more room by putting them with the other teabags in my preps. 

these are but a few of the things I found in one of the kitchen drawers. no idea what they are used for.does anyone know? course I know that's an eggbeater . I only took a pic of it so some of you could see it. I'm keeping that for if I go off grid etc. I have my mothers but this is much heavier and well made. belonged to Andrew's wife who has been dead 60 years. that's the thing. many things here never did belong to me. it's someone else's stuff. I found 6 manual can openers. I got a box here and I'm pitching as I go. just stopped to have a spot of tea before I start again. ~Georgia


----------



## SilverFlame819 (Aug 24, 2010)

The thing on the right is a cheese slicer. The thing in the middle with the holes in the handle is a potato peeler. The thing on the bottom left and the thing right under the egg beater my great-grandma had both of, but I couldn't tell you their exact uses - just venture a guess..... :shrug: The cheese slicer is great for buying blocks of cheese, and only needing a slice off it for a sandwich.


----------



## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

I agree with SilverFlame, on the cheese slicer and potato peeler. The one at the bottom also looks like a cheese slicer. 

The thing on the left is a prong tool meant to hold a roast in place while slicing it. 

The thing in the middle, between the egg beater and the cheese slicer... it's bugging me, because I've seen those before -- and I have no idea what it's used for! It looks like it is hinged in the middle to open and close..? Does it spring, ike a nutcracker? Since YOU own it, I wonder -- a shell cracker for crab legs, perhaps? Only a guess on that one. Maybe Leslie will know.


----------



## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

Jar & bottle opener,,use to have one,,,


----------



## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

Thanks, L.A.!! That was driving me crazy!!

I have one, too -- but it looks way different than that one. But come to think of it, if someone didn't know what it was, bet they'd have a hard time figuring it out. Too bad, too, 'coz that contraption will unscrew anything.


----------



## Echoesechos (Jan 22, 2010)

SilverFlame819 said:


> The thing on the right is a cheese slicer. The thing in the middle with the holes in the handle is a potato peeler. The thing on the bottom left and the thing right under the egg beater my great-grandma had both of, but I couldn't tell you their exact uses - just venture a guess..... :shrug: The cheese slicer is great for buying blocks of cheese, and only needing a slice off it for a sandwich.


Maybe a nut cracker..... All the others I knew except the meat holder thingy...


----------



## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

okay so that's a meat holder? i use a long fork. might keep that and the jar opener. I use a knife in place of the other stuff. heck I use a knife for everything even opening a can. although I did drive it through my thumb tonight. there's so much here that I haven't got a clue what it's for. it should have been sorted and thrown out long ago but I am such a procrastinator . big brothers and sisters are coming for a bunch tomorrow. I'm going to part with some of my sweaters. ~Georgia.


----------



## NancyWVa (Mar 7, 2014)

Yep the kids dont what the old stuff unless they think they can sell it for $. I am dealing with the clean out of moms house since her passing and what a BIG mess it is. Had the auction people come 2 full days and it doesnt look like they took much but it was 3 large trucks filled. And when I get back home I am going to unload my house as well. Mom and Dad saved everything and things that I was always told had such great $ value are worth very little to nothing Think I will have a odds and ends leftover make an offer sale. 5 and 10 cent sale.


----------



## SilverFlame819 (Aug 24, 2010)

Right on, my guess for the skewer thing was a meat holder too. And yes, the bottle opener!!

If my great-grandmother was alive, she'd be rolling her eyes at me right now. Like - "You don't know what those other things are?!" *lol*


----------



## Sumatra (Dec 5, 2013)

It's not an issue to me. Despite having no knowledge or connections to the past of a particular object, there will always be a certain connection to the people who once used it. Whether it's something as valuable as an old sewing machine, or something that 99% of people consider worthless, only the person with the right eye can see it. 

Attachment isn't so much the problem as control. If it crowds you out of the house, you've got a problem. If you can keep it organized and know how to maintain it, you've just got a bit more than other people. 

Wealth, can be just as much about material, as it can be about money.


----------



## frogmammy (Dec 8, 2004)

I do think that thing up near the top of the egg beaters is to lift hot jars by the neck. Used for canning jars. Not for opening them.

Mon


----------



## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

could be. I'm still culling.saved a small box of stuff from the kitchen for when i get my cabin built.threw out 5 more sweaters.untold pairs of shoes. found a pair of hiking boots I forgot I had. still in the box. i'll keep those. started on the boxes in the den. that is proving to be a headache. I might call the junk man and get him to take the whole works. there are drills,jigsaws, all kinds of stuff like that. electrical cords all jumbled together.i have all that of my own so wouldn't need it. ~Georgia.


----------

