# PrettyPaisley, Re: Unschooling--



## ErinP

This just came across my FB feed from one of my favorite pages:
http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blog-hops/unschooling/

It's a collection of blog posts on the subject of unschooling and I thought of you.


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## PrettyPaisley

That's awesome! Thank you for sharing ! 

I have to say, some things I've read from unschool mommas about their kids on Facebook pages scares me. I'm not so sure I'm going to make a very good unschooler. I understand the importance of unstructured time and following the interests of the child, but these people are letting their kids skip bathing for weeks at a time, allowing them to stay up all night long and play video games and getting excited that their 11 year old is finally learning to read. I'm a live and let live kinda girl but I will not allow my kids to decide when it's best for them to take a bath - or stay up all night long playing video games. 

There has to be a happy medium. I'm looking hard for it.  

Thanks again!


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## bluefish

There's a difference between unschooling and unparenting.


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## HTWannabee

Unschooling/unparenting makes me very squeamish too. I have met many an obnoxious child whose parents took this approach. I am told they grow up OK after all but in the meantime we have to live with them! A child run household is not for me.

You may like the Charlotte Mason approach. Look at http://amblesideonline.org
We never followed it to the letter but love the book lists especially in the early years and the idea of "masterly inactivity". I think it gives a good balance between having a learning plan but then a lot of unstructured time too. DD hated/hates narration which is a huge part of CM but loved much of her ideas, like short lessons, reading "living books" and studying nature etc. and leaving alone what did not work, like narration. We would just discuss what we read and that worked better for her. That is the idea of one on one learning. We can do what is best for this child at this time and not worry about everyone else. No one formula fits perfectly.


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## TenBusyBees

I was thinking Charlotte Mason may be more up your alley too.


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## windhound

Goggle John Taylor Gatto and check out some of his writing - I think you may appreciate his perspective.


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## offthegrid

thermopkt said:


> There's a difference between unschooling and unparenting.


 My homeschool friends and I just had that conversation this week. I had never heard the term "un-parenting" but we were talking about a girl in my kids' art class that doesn't seem to brush her hair, and not in an "artsy, dreadlock" sort of way. 

I think for anyone that might have considered unschooling, Charlotte Mason is way too rigid.

Eclectic homeschooling is just mixing and matching different types of curriculum, methods, and resources for each child, for each subject. It's basically what all my friends seem to use. Some "free writing" assignments, unstructured art if the kid is already interested in art (aka let them look up things and do their own art assignments), but stricter with a math program, foreign language from a tutor...etc.

And then next year? Maybe something different. Or different programs for different kids. I had one kid that loved The Life of Fred for math and one who hated it and cheated her way through it (it's a self-assessment at the end of each section).  So...two different math programs for a while.


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## bluefish

offthegrid said:


> I had never heard the term "un-parenting"



I just made it up. :lookout: It just goes with 'unschooling', ya know?


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## offthegrid

Oh, I should have mentioned -- THEY used the term unparented. Some reference was made to 'unschooling' and my friends said "yeah, and unparenting."

 It's a great expression.


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## PrettyPaisley

TenBusyBees said:


> I was thinking Charlotte Mason may be more up your alley too.


It's so funny you say that. I don't know what the connection is but I have friends who also think I would like Charlotte Mason - and lord knows they know I am *not* stuffy!  There is clearly someting there ....


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## offthegrid

PrettyPaisley said:


> It's so funny you say that. I don't know what the connection is but I have friends who also think I would like Charlotte Mason - and lord knows they know I am *not* stuffy!  There is clearly someting there ....


Well, the beauty of homeschooling is that you can always switch if you don't like it. I've tried many things over the years, and we've sort of settled where we are most comfortable. It never hurts to try, and in every program, curriculum or method there are usually many good things, even if you don't use them all.

Give it a try and see what you think!


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## ErinP

And really at Paisley's age, even something genuinely stuffy and rigorous isn't going to be particularly stuffy OR rigorous.


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## Lizzie Bella

I'm doing the Abeka program. I will be the Teacher as well as Mom. As a parent we are held accountable to teach our children responsibility and how to live in Society.
My daughter is four and she has chores. She helps feed up on the Farm and cares for the pets inside. She helps do chores around the house. I personally don't want someone else raise my child.


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## vicki in NW OH

Maybe if you made a list of what your homeschooling goals for your daughter are, curriculum, no curriculum, or a combination would become more clear. Also need to consider lifestyle and personalities involved.


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## backwoods

Unschooling allows you the mindset of letting your child explore subjects THEY are interested in, when they arise. If your child is chasing toads around a pond, and wants to know the difference between a toad and a frog, pull out "The Pond" book and explore it along with her. It doesn't have to be studied as part of "Science" in a textbook, and only when it comes up in the curricula. She will remember it best when she is naturally curious about it. It also teaches her to "look up" information, which is a wonderful skill that many schools don't teach, since the information is "provided" to the student. It's a skill that will be very necessary in college! When my homeschooled son was in college, he said the place he really excelled over the public schooled students was in his ability to go "search out" information that wasn't "in the book." 
Homeschooling is what YOU make of it. It is wonderful to be able to "cherry pick" the parts of different philosophies that WORK for YOUR child. That's the point! Children aren't "one size fits all" any more than we are, and there is no reason for a homeschooled child to be a brat, any more than any other kid. Most of the homeschooled kids I've known through the years are just the opposite. They are perceived by some adults as being a bit "forward" due to them being totally comfortable speaking to adults in a way that public schools kids don't do. Part of the "kid pack" vs "adult" mentality that is learned in schools, imo.
PrettyPaisley check out http://www.oakmeadow.com/ I think you might like it.


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## cindy-e

Well, you know your kid, and you know what is best for her. With that said, two things I always tell people to consider about planning homeschool (after doing it for 15+ years now): 1) assume that at some point you might have to put your kid back in school. Nobody ever thinks they will. in truth, the people who stick with it through high school... that's a relatively small number compared to those who start out. It's not such a big deal if your kid is not on "level" with history or science. usually a school will let your kid into the school on grade level anyway, but if they are "behind" in english or math that is a problem. I would keep them on par or ahead of public schools in those two subjects just in case. 
2) if you do plan to homeschool through high school and your life doesn't throw you curve balls (which allows you to actually do that) know the realities of college admissions. Most people don't know that for competitive colleges, you really start preparing for admissions in JH - assuming you need scholarships to do. Of course many go the community college route too. That doesn't appeal to me for a number of reasons I won't go into again, but it can be an option. Again, in that case, the testing to get into community college (yes, there are tests) requires being on a certain academic level in at least english and math. 
*If it were me*, I would use your other subjects (history, science, music, pe etc...) for child led learning, and be more traditional in english and math in case you ever need to put her back in school or she decides later that she wants to be college bound. 
FWIW.


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## offthegrid

cindy-e said:


> Well, you know your kid, and you know what is best for her. With that said, two things I always tell people to consider about planning homeschool (after doing it for 15+ years now): 1) assume that at some point you might have to put your kid back in school. Nobody ever thinks they will. in truth, the people who stick with it through high school... that's a relatively small number compared to those who start out. It's not such a big deal if your kid is not on "level" with history or science. usually a school will let your kid into the school on grade level anyway, but if they are "behind" in english or math that is a problem. I would keep them on par or ahead of public schools in those two subjects just in case.
> 2) if you do plan to homeschool through high school and your life doesn't throw you curve balls (which allows you to actually do that) know the realities of college admissions. Most people don't know that for competitive colleges, you really start preparing for admissions in JH - assuming you need scholarships to do. Of course many go the community college route too. That doesn't appeal to me for a number of reasons I won't go into again, but it can be an option. Again, in that case, the testing to get into community college (yes, there are tests) requires being on a certain academic level in at least english and math.
> *If it were me*, I would use your other subjects (history, science, music, pe etc...) for child led learning, and be more traditional in english and math in case you ever need to put her back in school or she decides later that she wants to be college bound.
> FWIW.


 In general I agree that Math and English need to be watched more carefully. However, I just want to make the point again that unschooling cannot be unparenting. Just because the child wants to do nothing but Sudoku for math does not mean the parent has to allow that - even if you choose to unschool. In my opinion, unschooling is not "Lord of the Flies" schooling where the kids get to make all the decisions.

Every parent, no matter whether they homeschool or school traditionally, no matter what their homeschooling method - needs to be aware of their child's strengths and weaknesses. I know some kids that would unschool the heck out of math - all day, every day, 4-5 grades ahead of their in school peers. Their parents could walk away and never ask another question about math and they'd still be ahead of the game. But writing, or reading...not so much, so they have to get on them hard for those subjects.

So...assuming an average student that is similarly capable in all subjects - yes, I'd keep them in a "real" math program and work hard on ELA as well....but most of our kids are not really similarly capable in all their subjects.


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## anahatalotus

I'm honestly surprised no one else has brought up Waldorf education at home. I take a Waldorf approach to my kids education. Writing lessons are simply labelling what we've canned or frozen that day, math is measuring out ingredients, dividing portions onto plats etc... I would read a lot of the abeka books to my kids but left it up to theto choose if they wanted to do e worksheets in their own time, most days my dd would get three to four worksheets done, somedays she would choose to help around the kitchen or garden instead. It's a more practical approach to education and not by any means permissive parenting, yet I considered myself an unschooled... Now I live in a state where homeschooling is Ã¼ber regulated but hope to change that eventually.


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## GREENCOUNTYPETE

we spent the last year doing a kind of unschooling thing before we had to have a 2nd income and the two youngest went back to to school. 

you can build it anyway you want. we did no electronics during the week. must do math. and everything else was what they were interested in. It lead my youngest dd to wrestling and ballet. the oldest and i to more art and the boy child to a love of origami. we did a ton of field trips (hello groupon!) to places that we would have never gone otherwise. a Japanese Garden, a stage coach hotel museum. 
it worked for them, it was a far cry from how we started homeschool and i was really sad when they went back to school and have to live inside the box.

mrsgcpete


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## ChristieAcres

Interesting thread. I taught my children for ten years, as in 100% responsible for their teaching in every subject taught, without the use of online programs (i.e. independent student learning...). Since I had one of each (visual learner and auditory learner). DS was learning challenged due to Childhood Epilepsy, while DD was gifted. My methods varied to meet their individual needs. From the beginning, I wanted my children to experience an atmosphere different from the traditional. I taught twelve classes per week, but most were limited to no more than fifteen minutes, some were repeated, but no day was the same. The teaching time was four hours per day, four days per week. I taught them fourteen hours per week and there was zero homework. Some of the classes, I created, others utilized texts, and some were based on books. Values and Morals was a class I created (that was my children's favorite). Now, when "class time" was over, everything was "whole based learning." I took them on outings, day-trips, field trips, and camping trips. Yes, there was some structure, as I felt there should be. While my style offered a lot more freedom and my children enjoyed homeschooling, the teaching exceeded the school learning objectives. Each of my children had their favorite classes. I encouraged them to pursue their interests and never limited the time they did that. However, I really felt some structure was needed, since my children would grow up, have to work in often structured environments. That extra freedom was important to allow them each to explore their gifts and interests more effectively. They are both successful in their chosen professions (DD is 26; DS is 24).


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