# New to homeschooling - have concerns



## happydog (May 7, 2008)

Hi, I'm new to the whole homeschool idea. I just inherited my 6 year old granddaughter and I'm beginning to seriously consider homeschooling her next year. 

I don't think I'd have a problem with curriculum or with teaching her at home, but I'm concerned about the socializing aspect. She's a very friendly and outgoing little person and very much enjoys the 'friends' portion of school. How do you compensate for the isolation? (I realize this is probably a very ignorant question, but hey, I AM ignorant here!)

Can you recommend any websites or books where I could learn more about homeschooling in general, and can you recommend any curriculum or favorite teaching programs?

Thanks a bunch!

happydog


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## Tracy Rimmer (May 9, 2002)

This is a question I hear at every SINGLE homeschool conference. EVERY one!!! My question back is, "Is school intended to be a social activity for your child, or an academic one?"

Children get PLENTY of social activity (note, I'm not using the term "socialization". This is NOT what most people mean when they are talking about children being given the opportunity to play and interact with others!) OUTSIDE of school. When we lived in the city, we had days when we actually had to take our phone off the hook so we could get some ACADEMICS done, there was such a huge amount of social activities available.

Socialization is what you do with your children every day: you teach them good manners, appropriate behavior in given situations, etc. -- essentially, how to function in our society. Social interaction is the taking part in activities with others with similar interests, whether that's dodgeball at recess with the other third graders, or extracurricular little-league softball, soccer, ballet, paint classes, rock-climbing, tai-kwon-do, 4H, Girl-Guides, or Mommy-and-me playgroups. Those are things that people probably ought to do with their kids, regardless of where they're "schooled", if they don't have a neighborhood full of kids to mess around with in those after-school hours.

If you are relatively well mannered and active in the community (i.e., you have people outside of your family unit that you interact socially with, etc.), your granddaughter will be well "socialized". If you want her to interact with others her age, extracurricular evening activities, or activities during the day with a homeschool group, will be more than enough.


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## Callieslamb (Feb 27, 2007)

4H, YMCA, homeschool co-ops, church. There are many, many ways to find socialization for your DGD. It is the easiest part so don't sweat it. 

For recommendations for curriculums.Join the local co-op (do a google search for Homsechool groups) and talk to the moms there. Check the state homeschool organization. You might start with packaged curriculums - like Abeka or Sunlight - see what they have to offer what you like, what you don't. Then look at unit studies and pulling together your own curriculum. Decide which is best for you and go from there. Home schooling is a learning process. You will adjust and find what you like as you go, so don't get upset if you pick something htat you end up not suing or not liking. 

I ditto curriculum fairs - you can look at the books before you buy.


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## Guest (May 17, 2009)

The only thing you kid will learn at school are bad habits, political correctness, and union educators political opinions. We have home schooled our kids for the past 3 years. Both my wife and I, and the kids, absolutely love it. K12.com is pretty good, but isn't free unless you get it throught a charter school.

For socializing, dance, karate, church, scouts, or include the kiddo in your hobbies and circle of friends.

My wife was nervous at first. After a couple of weeks, she was an old pro.


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## Ernie (Jul 22, 2007)

If you wanted to learn carpentry, would you go sit in a room for 6 hours a day with people who didn't know carpentry? Many of whom weren't there to learn carpentry? Or perhaps they had a different idea of what carpentry actually is?

I'm thinking the answer is no.

What do you really want to do in terms of "socializing" your child? Teach them to grow up and be well-adjusted adults? Have a happy childhood? Just as in the carpentry example, do you think that sending them to interact with a group of other children who don't know how to be well-adjusted and may or may not be happy will result in those goals?


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## UUmom2many (Apr 21, 2009)

I'm also using k12.com and love it. I'm homeschooling a 7, 5, and 4 year old (and have 2 others not in school yet) I think the true measure of a child being a social being is being able to communication and form relationships with people of all ages, races, religions etc. My favorite quote (and i have no idea who said it but it wasn't said first by me!) is "When is a person ever in a room with 30 people their same age for extended periods of time?"


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## harplade (Jul 14, 2005)

teaching children how to be self-motivated, entertain and amuse themselves, stand on their convictions-these are things they learn through homeschooling

follow the crowd, listen to peers and not your own conscience, be the purchaser of many mindless toys-these are things I see many (not all but many) school children learn 

My children socialize with a phenomenal musician through church, a retired Navy pilot who flew in Vietnam (a neighbor), many skilled farmers and livestock managers (through feed stores and small businesses in our neighborhood)-it is amazing the things you can teach and expose your children to on a daily basis by just taking the time to make friends and ask questions. 

They also participate in a homeschool group where they make friends and peer socializing time.

Good luck


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## ErinP (Aug 23, 2007)

Where we live a good distance out of town, as well as have no homeschool group in our area, we have to actively _seek_ _out_ social opportunities for DS.
Even still, it's been hard for him to go from seeing peers all day, every day, to having relatively little chance to socialize. 

Sure, 4-H, swim lessons, Library time, Sunday School, etc. are all opportunities to spend time with other kids, but it's all _structured_. 
And kids start crossing a line in the middle grades where they make their _own_ play dates.

Whether it's worth the trade off or not, only you can know. But make no mistake, it can be more isolating than public school...


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## Elffriend (Mar 2, 2003)

My kids are involved in scouting and our local homeschool groups. There is also everyday life where they talk to the neighbors and other people in our community. When they were younger there was story time at the library and such. 

Check to see if there is a local homeschool group. There are at least three in our area. See if they have casual, drop in activities. One group in our area has park days. The kids play at the playground and the adults hang out and chat. Another group has a games club. The kids play board games and the adults hang out and chat.  Then there are ALL SORTS of structured activities and field trips. Get to know some other homeschoolers, see what they are involved with and sign up for a few things. It will become second nature in no time.


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## sheepish (Dec 9, 2006)

Happydog, since you are particularly concerned with socialization, I would recommend this article in my daughter's blog; http://thereallifehome.wordpress.com/2008/10/ The comments also are well worth reading.


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## BlsdMama (Dec 28, 2008)

If it helps, for us socialization is a much broader definition than what you're thinking. 

Our society defines socialization as the ability to connect with their peers.

For us, socialization means to equip our children for getting along with people in real life.... You know, how to be able to have good manners, be polite, make conversation at the grocery store, post office. They need to be able to relate with small children and senior citizens. Most of today's youth are well socialized if you have a narrow definition - that is they are able to connect with people their own age with their own backgrounds. Very few are socialized in the broader aspect. They have NO idea how to connect with little children or senior citizens or to connect with someone that doesn't share their same pasttime. We're blessed in that we have no shy children (though I'm not above praying for one, just one) but they are well socialized.


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## happydog (May 7, 2008)

Thanks for all the replies. I see that I should have been more clear in my phrasing, lol. She is very well 'socialized' from being raised as an only child by doting grandparents. 

What I was thinking about was just plain old having friends at school. You know - 'socializing.'

However, I've since resolved that worry (thanks to all your thoughtful answers) and have moved on to worrying that I'm doing this for the wrong reasons, I'm not up to the challenge, I'm not organized/energetic/smart enough. Guess I better start a new thread...

Thanks! You guys are great.


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