# I have just about had it...



## chickenista

And I am seriously, seriously, seriously considering homeschooling now.
How do I convince DH to consider it too?
I can see where DS's school is just not working for him and I see where he could learn adn do better for me. His homework is gorgeous and his schoolwork is horrid. We have hit a wall with a bad teacher and a weak point in the curriculum. DS is suffering at this point and I think he would just thrive with homeschooling. 
I asked DS about it and he said he would miss his friends (which aren't really friends at all) and I assured him that he would find new friends through the HS group in the area. He then said he wanted to learn about Rome and Pompeii in a very excited way.
I have looked at the state requirements, I have spoken with the local group and am attending a meeting with them on Monday night. I have spoken with a very successful HS mom who is a member here and I have checked out a stack of books on the subject from the library.
I know it will be a change. I know it will be a challenge. I know it will take a ton of work for me...
and I am still considering it.
But DH says no..
he is afraid that we will screw up the kid.
He is afraid to take him out of the charter school because he cannot get back in.. there is a waiting list.
He is afraid that we, as parents, don't have the follow through to make it a successful venture..

any ideas would be helpful...


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## rean

Would he consider allowing you to do it on a trial basis of say 6 months to a year? If at all possible get him involved in a project that will interest both he and your son, so he can see how well homeschooling works and how excited your son is to learn.


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## BusyBees2

I don't know what to say except that if your husband isn't on board with the decision it will be near impossible to pull it off successfully without killing yourself, your marriage, and your son's outlook.

Educate yourself as much as possible on how you would homeschool. Education yourself exactly and in detail on the laws. Would you need to test and how would you do that? What curriculum(s) you would use and how would they require you to teach? What resources are in your area to suppliment the social, academic and physical aspects of education? What type of schedule would you try to keep? Including how you would get household things done. 

If you come out of the charter school, what are the other alternatives for school (other than homeschooling)? If something else is 'acceptable', then maybe you could discuss a trial period, say till the end of this school year. If DS isn't happier, and proves he's learned more, then maybe he can go back into the alternative school option.

It is a tough decision. It's a leap of faith in many cases. I can understand your DH's concern. He really needs to be on board. If perhaps you can educate yourself enough and present to DH a detailed plan on how to achieve this and how this would benefit the entire family, then perhaps he'll start to give it consideration. However, this change of thought might not happen overnight...You might have to make it through this year with the current teacher and head for homeschooling next year.

Good Luck!


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## craftnkids

I too had a skeptical husband. 
What I did was find a curriculum that I thought would work for them and set about learning all I could.
It took a little while, but he came around. I agree with other posters that you really need to have your husband on board.
My saving grace is that we have smart kids- I figured any harm I could do in 6 months could easily be relearned in school. I didn't need to worry about that though. They have all been doing wonderfully.
Good luck to you- Follow your gut! You know your child better than anyone else!
Angela


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## chickenista

Our only hold up as far as a trial run is that he would not be able to get back into the school. There is a waiting list.
I have asked that he make an informed decision and read the books I have on it and talk to other dad's that homeschool etc.. we will not decide or amke any moves until winter break at school..
And so I study and study and study and observe and try to learn


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## TurnerHill

I see two perfectly legimate concerns.

Not being able to rejoin the charter school would be devastating.

And it always makes me cringe when homeschoolers or wannabe homeschoolers play down the social issue. What makes you say that his friends, "aren't really"?

Does your charter school allow dual enrollment? In New Hampshire they must, by law. So you could teach him one subject and leave him in school for the others. This is a good way of testing home homeschool works for you (and him, which is FAR more important) while not losing a coveted spot in the charter school.


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## chickenista

Because of the actions of his teacher this year he has been separated out from the rest of the class. During recess he has been finishing schoolwork instead of playing and his desk has been facing the wall away from the other students in hopes of speeding up his work. He hasn't been with the others at play or work since the second week of school. I got to see the result at a bday party last weekend where he was prey. The boys were all over him and physically rough and verbally abusive adn aggressive. He chose to stay which is fine, but he was the whipping boy the entire time. Not real friends at all. He about got his tail kicked when trying to explain to them who Sacagawea was. 
He doesn't hang out with them or see them on the weekends or anything else. They just sit in the same room together. I think he would make better adn more similar friends who can discuss time travel and all the other weird things he likes within a HS group. There is a very active group here and I am going to a meeting on Mon. night.

Today he was saying that it was going to fast in class. He was still copying the things on the board and she would erase them and move on. Drove him nuts.  Upon talking to him more and more and unlocking the secrets within him, I can see that it is not JUST the teacher, it is the way the classes are run for 2 nd grade. It is seriously hardcore now and he is just not thriving or keeping up at all. At home he can ask for more detailed instructions/directions etc.. the class is time controlled and very fast.

I will ask about the dual enrollment. That would be cool when he is older. Right now he is 6 and in 2nd grade. He has shown interest in returning to public charter school for high school adn that is fine with me too if we decide to do this.


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## marvella

perhaps a compromise? teach him at home about the topics he is interested in, or that are lacking in the school.

it's tough on a kid that is a bit different. kids can be cruel. is there a way to involve him in other groups of kids that are more like him? maybe he can make up in another goup what seems to be lacking in his current classroom. making other freinds might bolster him a bit against kids that are mean.

one more idea- my wife-in-law tried with the foster kid- go to his school every day for a week or two and see for yourself what is going on. it sounds like 1. teacher took a dislike to your son for some reason. it doesn't make it right but it happens, teachers are human. or 2 he is having behavioral issues you may not be aware of. some kids do stuff at school they would never think of doing at home. if he is isolated facing the wall it sounds as if he was distracted and possibly bothering other kids? or 3. what does that teacher say about the situation??

just some ideas...


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## chickenista

Simon isn't really different other than be a bit more..um.. educated than the others. He is a big, muscular blond adonis nerd. Every woman's dream.
He was separated in class in hopes it would speed up his work and remove all distractions for eht same reason. And what he didn't finish, he had to work on at recess. We have put a school wide halt to that pratice.. yeah us! Kids need to move around and interact.
He usually makes great grades..As and Bs, but this particular grade shift is harsh. They really rev it up and he is just not able to do it all that fast.
And he sufferes for it.. failing grades and huge pressure from the teacher and a stress overload that is taking it's toll.


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## ginnie5

One thing you could consider too....I know around here there are several co-ops that are being used. The kids go and take classes there 2 days a week and are at home the other 3. they are doing serious stuff in the older grades too. Chemistry, biology, and such. Lakepoint Academy is one and Grace is another...they are too far from you but something similar may be available closer to you. As for sports...there is a league which should be near you too that is made up of hs'ers and private school students that don't have a team. DD cheered for them a few years back.


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## UUmom2many

Your Simon and my Alex would be perfect home school buddies  Alex is 7 and in the 3rd/4th grade. He was playing battle of Thermopylae with lego men the other day... 

Perhaps try and do as much as you can through the school year and take the summer as your trial for homeschooling. We HS year round. Then you wouldn't have to worry about his place but you can see how well he progresses through those few months. We take it year by year here. If anyone of my 5 kids decided they wanted to PS I'd do my best to get them into the best program/school. So far, they all like getting school work done in their jammies


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## Ezekiel's Garde

One thing dh and I suggest to anyone who wants to homeschool their child but have legitimate reasons for not jerking said child(ren) out of school immediately. We recommend using weekends and school breaks to give it a try. Try reading some books aloud to child that interest him. Work with him on math sheets, there are tons on the internet you can find that are appropriate to his age. Help him find stuff that interests him to learn.

I use Sonlight curriculum. I like the literature basis of it, plus the way it has its history component arranged. It spells out all you need to do in a day, week, school year. When you buy the core (plus individualized science, math, and language arts), it comes with all the books and workbooks you need. Plus, if you have any more kids, you can just buy new workbooks & reuse all the other books. It's pretty economical, but mostly it's easy for me. I am not familiar with other curriculums, but any that do that would probably be good. I know that having everything there for me to just do is helpful.

HTH!


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## freedom-rider

Lots of good advice and insight here.

First, without us knowing you, your son, you as a parent, etc....for the record....it's tough to say.

Being a public school teacher who has major problems with public schools, I would recommend what the OP said about going to school for a week or so with him. Try to observe him in different settings and at different times of the day. People (children and teachers reveal the "good, bad, and ugly" eventually over time.

See what the teacher says about his behavior and performance after you've been there. If what they are seeing is abnormal (like "Wow, he's doing really well with you here!" then you might want to consider the reason(s) for that. e.g. are others not treating him as poorly since you are there? Is he towing the line more since you are there? 

ALso, I'm not saying you are guilty of this but oftentimes, today the parents are so much more likely to believe their child than the adult. In my experience, it isn't the teachers who typically concern me about public schools, but the curriculum(s) and the children and the baggage that they bring with them and the subsequent behavior(s) that are a direct result of their upbringing. Having said that, there ARE bad teachers. There are also good teachers who don't have good relationships with certain styles of children. 

I would get into the school and see if you can identify the SOURCE(s) of the problem(s) and THEN you can begin to generate solutions. It may not be easy, and there may need to be confrontation with the teacher, your son, or both. Go in with an objective mind and look for the truth and try to be non-emotional and realistic about what you observe. 

I highly recommend going in to observe for yourself and pay attention to the school's reaction when you say you want to go. Do they appear to have something to hide? Are they welcoming? etc...


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## ChristieAcres

I successfully homeschooled my son & daughter for ten years. When I began, I just found out what the schools required for each grade. Then, I sat down and decided to put together my own curriculum, ordering any/all books from multiple sources, turn of the century unabridged classic literature works, added all sorts of extra courses (not taught in schools), then taught 12 short classes per day taking only (4) hours per day. Each "class" was 15 minutes long, with the exception of Writing, Art, Sewing, Cooking, and "special instruction." This included "Ethics & Morals." I added whatever needed to fuel the fire of desire to learn in each child. I also studied Learning Styles & had a Visual Learner & an Auditory Learner to teach. When the testing began, my gifted daughter scored in the top 3%. My son was Epileptic and learning challenged, yet still score above average  That made him feel very good! Since we only spent 4 hours per day, usually only 4 days per week? We had a lot of free time, so that was spent in parks, at homeschooling outings, Bible classes, and adventures. I taught my children Natural Science with them hardly noticing while experiencing all of it. My son is 19 and daughter 21. Both relate to me and others how much fun it was. My son was saved from the awful treatment he would have been subjected to (stuttered terribly until I had to take over speech therapy...didn't see results after six months...then studied that & within a little over a month my son stopped stuttering!). With his type of seizure condition, it was elective to medicate. I chose not to. His were Petit Mal Seizures. Now, since the condition never localized causing Grand Mal Seizures, I was able to responsibly, completely researching it, keep him off drugs. What I had determined was he was better off without drugs, but I would be required to be there 24/7. When my DS was around other children, he was teased about the way he walked (issues with his feet), and due to his immaturity (slow brain development), called stupid and other names. He was picked on, too. Since I was close by, I could call attention to the poor behavior of the other children and the parents would handle it. Of course, I taught my DS to defend himself, also. Since he couldn't run, that was a real problem when it came to playing with other children. Tag was no fun for him. He was also a much taller than average child (grown he is 6'4"), so that didn't help...called big, clumsy & stupid by other children. Now, next to none of that occurred when he was around other homeschooled children. The worst he dealt with was at Public Parks. I was just sitting there reading my book, letting my children play with the others. There was a group of boys and girls who seemed to take an interest in my DS, and were laughing, being nice to him. After they all played for a while, I saw them lead him into their little fort (it was under the play equipment out of the sight of the parents there...). I heard my DS cry out, and ran to find he was in the middle of a circle being pummelled by the children. I picked up my hysterical little boy and had a word with the children, called over the parents, and left with my children. Another episode occurred when I was at an event with other mothers from our Homeschooling Org. All of our children were playing outside nicely together. I had just checked on them. There were 5 to 15 year olds out there... Just when our group sat down with coffee to share with each other, I hear my DD screaming angrily. I ran in the backyard to find DS lying on the ground, DD standing over him, with her fist held up to a 12 yr old boys face... ready to let him have it. I was the first mother to the group, naturally, as it was my DS on the ground crying. I asked what happened. DD told me what the boy did to her brother and what she did to protect him (21 months older than DS). Turns out the boy picked up DS, tossed him up, and set him down, while DS laughed thinking it was fun playing, then the boy picked lifted him up again, threw him down on his back & raised his foot to stomp on him when DD daughter jumped over her brother, stood over him, kicked the boy as hard as she could and then threatened to hit him in the face if he didn't leave her brother alone. My children grew up very close to each other and remain close to this day. Kids can be cruel  The Childhood Epilepsy disappeared when my DS turned 12. A divorce caused me to put my children in Public School... They hated school, especially my DS. One year, I did home instruction with him. He says he wishes I could have taught him to the age of 18. DD thought school was just a fun social scene that turned into a bit of a social nightmare by the time she was a Senior. As she became known for her singing talent, was very popular, and liked by a few too many boys...the jealousy bit a few of the young ladies. She was taunted, threatened & I had to teach her some self-defense moves. I also taught her how to handle them psychologically. Fortunately, she did just fine and avoided a few bad situations due to using good judgment. 

When I asked my DS recently about homeschooling- his thoughts. He told me that if it wasn't for that, he wouldn't have been able to become who he is today. DS has thanked me many times for keeping him off drugs (ex-DH wanted him on drugs, and BIL is a Dr. who also agreed). When my DD is complimented for her knowledge, she smiles and says I taught her everything she knows. Now the cooking claim is a bit more amusing. My DD is a gourmet cook and I get the credit (?). My kids have memories of me teaching them the 3R's and wayyyyyyy more than school curriculum's cover. I also taught them both how to swim, took them hiking, camping, and as many adventures as I could. We belonged to two different homeschooling organizations---wonderful!!! They were in Church Choir and got to do so much more than other children (much more time). My children never had to do homework. Reason? They learned during school and did their assignments during class time. School over, time off! I also bought a computer 16 years ago to use with homeschooling. We had the freedom to take vacations whenever we wanted, spend the whole day playing in the snow, did a light homeschooling (mostly creative stuff) during the summer, with lots of time off for fun. I taught them both 3-dimensional drawing, creative drawing, sketching with different mediums, and did all the projects with them. We worked with clay, watercolor, etc... Now? DD is an artist, singer, songwriter, and guitarist. My son is learning electric guitar, works as an Italian style pizza cook, and is gifted in writing. Not sure where these two will end up. DD just moved to CO, will be working at a ski resort in either Breckinridge or Vale. DS is moving to CO next month and joining DD wherever she ends up working. She will be a lead singer for a band & also work for the Resort. DS will work for the Resort and get better playing guitar via instruction & jamming with the band members. Both began supporting themselves at 18 and moved out. We are very close and I get to talk to them frequently, see my son more often (lives in Seattle, not that far away), and DD flies out to see me a few times/year from wherever she is...pursuing a music career...

When I first started homeschooling, it was because I had a gifted DD and DS with a serious disability. My DH, at that time (now and EX-DH) was against it. When he saw how well they both did under my instruction and how much/fast they learned? He was sold! 

Since I hated school as a child and thought the whole 12 years an utter waste of my time (the education part, that is)? This isn't something I particularly wanted for my children. I was a gifted child who didn't belong with my age group and wouldn't have fit in with older children- no place for me. Kids can be mean to other kids who don't fit in. It doesn't take nearly twelve years to give an average child the pitiful "education" they have sold the American Public (not the teachers, but the system as a whole). That education is now worse. That said, my standards are just way higher. I don't blame the teachers, I blame the system, and the curriculums. I had a few teachers who were incredibly wonderful people. It was their kindness that influenced me and they had taken a personal interest. I will always be grateful to have known them. I felt sorry for most of my teachers & feel worse for the teachers today. They aren't treated with enough respect! The lack of discipline now? Ouch.

Advice for someone starting out? You don't have to teach your child with the school materials (boring)! They have yearly requirements to meet for each grade- get a copy of that. Then, pick up a book on "Learning Styles" & determine you child's. I don't believe in pre-packaged curriculums. I enjoyed the freedom of picking & choosing what I wanted to teach and how I taught. This is about FREEDOM  and I loved it! Most people have an attention span of 15 minutes. That is how long I spent on almost every subject per day. I began the hardest subject first, then an easy one, then a more challenging one, then easy for the rest of the day. That usually meant math first... I read to my kids out loud for part of History, then each of them for a few minutes. There was story-time every day, too. Whatever my kids were "into," I taught more of. They got a well rounded, over the top education that exceeded all the standards. If your child wants to learn something you haven't done, it is both a challenge, and is fun! You don't have to be good at math to teach it- the same goes for every other class you choose. Make sure you keep those days 4 to 5 hours tops. There is no need to make them longer. I also had my days alternate for different classes. That kept it even more interesting.


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## digApony

chickenista said:


> And I am seriously, seriously, seriously considering homeschooling now.
> How do I convince DH to consider it too?
> I can see where DS's school is just not working for him and I see where he could learn adn do better for me. His homework is gorgeous and his schoolwork is horrid. We have hit a wall with a bad teacher and a weak point in the curriculum. DS is suffering at this point and I think he would just thrive with homeschooling.
> I asked DS about it and he said he would miss his friends (which aren't really friends at all) and I assured him that he would find new friends through the HS group in the area. He then said he wanted to learn about Rome and Pompeii in a very excited way.
> I have looked at the state requirements, I have spoken with the local group and am attending a meeting with them on Monday night. I have spoken with a very successful HS mom who is a member here and I have checked out a stack of books on the subject from the library.
> I know it will be a change. I know it will be a challenge. I know it will take a ton of work for me...
> and I am still considering it.
> But DH says no..
> he is afraid that we will screw up the kid.
> He is afraid to take him out of the charter school because he cannot get back in.. there is a waiting list.
> He is afraid that we, as parents, don't have the follow through to make it a successful venture..
> 
> any ideas would be helpful...


Homeschooling is none of what you and your son are afraid of! The only REAL challenge is to relax, and feel confident that you are doing the BEST for your child.

There are a lot of HS support groups out there to help you. YOU know your child better than anyone; especially a public school teacher.

I pulled my oldest son out of public school and never regreted one minute. He was HAPPY! Very happy. 

All of the DRAMA which there is a lot in the public school systems is way too much stress on children, especially a teenager.

I don't want to get lengthy here, but there are so many reasons to homeschool and like I said.... get over your fears.... really they're wives tales. Children are naturally taught by their parents from the time they are born. It's a commitment, but aren't you already committed or should I say "sucked" into a crappy situation now? 

Take your time, choose your cirriculum and let your child help. Talk to other HS parents and you GO! You will have the best time of your life! 

I had all of your fears......... 

but I am telling you now, that NONE of them were founded.

just fear...

you can do it!

digApony


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## digApony

Most highly gifted children are homeschooled.


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## ChristieAcres

Digapony- GREAT job hitting the points. Mine was a bit on the rambling side, but I have never regretted the years I homeschooled and neither have my DS & DD  This resulted in them becoming "buddies for life" and we are far closer as a family!


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## chickenista

We are getting closer to doing it.
And the more I have thought on it and read on it etc.. I am not really afraid at all. Simon will take to it like a fish to water. He listens and learns from me easily. And is a good natured child.
DH is leaning there too now. He says I should get whatever paperwork in order so we don't get a truancy thing going on. (yippee)
The school situation has impoded. We are at the point where I will be sneaking to see if she is letting him have recess. He says no and he has never lied in his life and has nothing to gain from doing so on this etc..
I feel like an idiot for having to stoop to this. 
I no longer attend the huge meetings with the principal and teacher and staff members. I have nothing constructive to add and am in mama bear mode that could end in arrest.

I have a neat stack of old homeschool books and textbooks from a local thrift store who has a 'homeschool book' section!
I have a list of activities adn books and topics as well as some great websites for downloadable worksheets etc..
I went to my local education store and was amazed at some of the resources they have there.
My only concern is that I will miss my free time. I am spoiled rotten!!


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## Lisa in WA

It sounds like the charter school isn't working out anyway, so why worry if he loses his spot? 
Don't take this the wrong way, but maybe he isn't quite ready for 2nd grade? Not academically, but socially? My oldest daughter was very advanced academically in preschool (funny way to say it) but thanks to a wonderful and wise preschool teacher, we held her back a year. She was a summer birthday and the cut-off date at that time in IN was 6/1. I was a little disappointed at first, after all, my child was gifted! (grin)
It was the best gift we could have given her. That extra year really caught her up and though she was always ahead of her fellow students, she wasn't bored because she was always learning socially as well. She's a happy, very successful college student now and she has thanked us for that extra year.
Some of the brightest and best adjusted and happy kids I know had that gift. As I was told before by a wonderful teacher, "I;ve seen many parents wwho wish they'd held their child back, but not one who wished they hadn't."


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## digApony

lorichristie said:


> Digapony- GREAT job hitting the points. Mine was a bit on the rambling side, but I have never regretted the years I homeschooled and neither have my DS & DD  This resulted in them becoming "buddies for life" and we are far closer as a family!



To me homeschooling builds the same type of bond that you build when you breast feed your baby. Its the natural progrssion. 

I remember when my youngest son was nearing five and I feared the public school much more than I did the fear that I wouldn't be able to teach him to read. But I talked with experienced homeschooling moms and bought him a book on phonics. Then you should have seen OUR joy when he first started reading!

We- the family had a party! With cupcakes we made together. can't do that in a public schoo;.one on one! Brothers, sisters, twins are SEPARATED.mom and dad are rarely welcome. That always bothered me. 

Our journey together with our children is so short. A five year old is a baby a 12 year old is a baby a 17 year old is a baby in the face of that big old mean world out there. 

Who says they gotta go out there? They will soon enough believe me. 

Keep your children home. You will build strong bonds and memories that will live with them for as long as they live. The journey is too short

DigApony. Old breastfeeding homeschooling mom. Lol

Can you tell I don't like public schools? Inhumane I say. Lol


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## ChristieAcres

digApony- Ditto again! Even on the opinion of Public Schools. I was a gifted student bored out of my mind who couldn't relate to most other children. My best friend was my IDENTICAL TWIN (no joke) and we were separated into different classes, naturally (I HATED that). It wasn't until High School that we were ever permitted to be in the same class. So, we chose to take almost all the same classes! 

I just received a call from my DS getting off work (works swing shift)...he lives about 1.5 hours from me...called me to discuss his Kefir Grain. He has a Pint Jar with 1 big Kefir Grain that I gave him last week (stayed in the fridge). When he initially asked me to explain what Kefir Grains are, I told him and then just think of him as a new Buddy who is going to make you healthy if you feed him right. He got the mental picture of a little creature who will provide him with a great product to make his daily smoothies with... In fun, I suggested he name "him." So, Mr. Keefie was born. Now, sounds like something you would do with a young child. My DS is a tough young man, LOL. It is all about relationship and keeping things fun no matter the age. We joke with each other all the time. I also get "kisses" from both kids over the phone (DS turning 20, DD 21) every time we talk. There is also a graduated trust and respect they show me that I would never have expected at these ages. 

Okay, no more rambling tonight


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## digApony

No not rambling. You are giving clear examples of the joys and benefits of HS. Reading thru the thread I see there was the mention of "socialization". Well that's all I heard from people who disagreed. 

My children were very socially active. We had a local HS group where parents and kids met every week to do some type of planned activity. They organized baseball games, plays, musicals and field trips together and by themselves as a group. Social skills.

The state extension dept held special claases in 4H for HSers as they did in the public schools. 

My kids played soccer went to church camp, etc. 

Also we took many field trips where they mingled with adults in public. I have had people note to me that they could tell my children were HSd by the way they so easily and confidently communicated with adults. They weren't "scared stupid" by them.

Also since you DO pay that school tax the public school system should; by law allow HSers to participate in school sports, band etc. 

I disagree with a trial run during a school break. Your child especially if he is stressed is not going to want to sit down and do school work on a break and then if he feels forced; what will he tell you? I didn't include my child in the decision to be homeschooled. We talked about it to them, but the final decision was between me and their dad. Your child is too young to make that decision and as you can see he is already stressed. Your child is confused and hurt and unjustifiably feeling like a failure. My son complained about never seeing his friends again too. I said oh but you will. But he didn't and never said a word about again. He made new friends that are still his friends today at 25 years old. Its that bonding thingy. . . 

When I took my oldest son out in 6th grade I was advised by a wise and experienced HSin mom to just let my son heal before I started. 

I did. And she was right he was bruised and beaten. A very smart boy; but only a boy. He missed nothing. When he was ready we started slowly. 

I started him in curriculum that was a year behind his school grade. He still was ahead and scored very high on his year end test. That first year I worried. I thought he learned nothing. Fooled me. 

His daddy was skeptical too. But that is why dad needs to be involved. Work on the family car. They have auto shop in schools! Handy skill. Or have a special science experiment to do with dad. I know two families where the dad does ALL of the homeschooling and both dads work. 

It is not hard really. If you send me a pm I can help u with books etc. 

This is a mess. Using my BB. Sorry. DigApony


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## digApony

"Because of the actions of his teacher this year he has been separated out from the rest of the class. "

Oh how humilliating and CRUEL! I can imagine how your child feels! When my children had trouble with their math or any other subject.... we got out the teacher edition looked at the answers and figured it out ourselves! That is learning and TEACHING! What your child is enduring is PUNISHMENT!

Even if you do not decide to HS, do not allow it to continue! 

Also, the HS group I belonged to had older children who were glad to help the younger ones with their studies.

That is socializing, respect, and love.

There are plenty of Internet HS sites there to help you. 

Get that baby out of there and let him heal! I am sorry, but to me that is abuse.

I guess I'm going to shut my mouth on this. But if you would like to use me as a resource, please pm me and I will be glad to help you.

digApony


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## digApony

http://www.greatschools.net/students/academic-skills/K-5-benchmarks.gs?content=531

There are many other resources available. High School; check with the state to find required courses. However most homeschool curriculum has High School all there grade by grade.... I used Alpha Omega, Saxon Math or Modern Curriculum Press Math, phonics, spelling etc, for the elementary grades to 6th grade. good stuff. http://www.learningthings.com/brands/MCP.htm digApony


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## digApony

Charter Schools:

Family Decides Price of Charter School&#8217;s Free Education Is Too High


The Smith family (name changed to protect privacy) in Minnesota decided to try out the virtual charter school Connections Academy this school year. As all charter schools are, Connections Academy is a public school. However, the financial advantages of a free education, reduced recordkeeping, and the accountability and assistance of a certified teacher persuaded the Smiths to enroll their two children.

During the first semester, the Smiths discovered that Connections Academy was not quite as wonderful as it had first seemed. The curriculum required memorization of obscure information and writing assignments that were too long for young children. As a result of the one-size-fits-all curriculum and the standardized benchmarks, the children were not able to work at their own pace. 

&#8220;Keeping up with the course work was beyond any curriculum I have ever used,&#8221; said Mrs. Smith. 

The children were not permitted to work ahead in subjects they found easy or to move at a slower pace through a subject they had difficulty with. Mr. and Mrs. Smith had no input as to what curriculum their children were being taught. For example, the Connections Academy science curriculum taught that evolution and Darwinism are proven facts, as opposed to theories, and did not include alternate theories about the origins of the universe, such as intelligent design or biblical creation.

After one semester, the Smiths decided they had no choice but to withdraw their children from Connections Academy and return to homeschooling.

There are many benefits to homeschooling. You can choose a curriculum tailored to your children&#8217;s learning style, encouraging children to learn at their own pace and to master material, rather than stick to a strict schedule. Children may explore areas of interest more deeply. Work assignments are flexible, allowing for other important co-curricular and extra-curricular activities such as field trips and sports programs. And you can include a broad variety of subject matter and information beyond the textbooks that reflect&#8212;or at least respect&#8212;the beliefs and values of your family. 

The Smiths, now members of HSLDA, realized that school at home is not the same thing as homeschool. With this experience under their belt, the Smiths are back on the road to enjoying the liberty and flexibility that comes from a truly free homeschooling program. HSLDA is pleased to assist them, and any others similarly situated, with the problems that sometimes arise when parents withdraw children from a government school program, like the Connections Academy virtual charter school.

http://www.hslda.org/hs/state/mn/200901230.asp Okay, I guess I must be getting obnoxious by now. I'm very passionate about homeschooling.  digApony


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## digApony

My only concern is that I will miss my free time. I am spoiled rotten!! 

You won't have to give up your free time! You can homeschool in the middle of the night if you want! That's an exaggeration, but I'm just making a point. It's YOUR schedule. Set it up and stick by it but be flexible . And free time with your children on a hike, bike ride, or field trip....... what could be better?


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## chickenista

We are getting closer!!
And Simon is on board now. He says he wants a schedule with certain activities on certain days. I am cool with that. Wed. is the park or other PE, Tues. is art and Thurs. is the day he will choose and cook dinner! We discussed flexibility.
We also talked about tests on materials and taking notes etc.. every month if he has good test scores he can choose the activity reward. He will be keeping track of his own test scores in a grade book. Good practice at graphing etc.. and one more thing I do not have to do!
He may watch educational documentaries and play educational computer games during the day and he may earn Wii time by chores and exceptional effort etc..
Looking good!
DH is saying that Christmas break is the break with the school if things do not drastically improve...which they won't.
My mother will rupture something.. but I really do not care in the least. It has nothing to do with her.


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## rean

cool beans!!


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## stormwalker

If your son has a cruel teacher, there doesn't seem to be any choice.
My girl had some medical issues and a very nasty teacher.
I felt compelled to pull her out.
She's all growed up now, and just did very well in a short story competition. 
On a practical note, I believe there's an online elementary school you might want to check out.
Good luck, and have fun!


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## cindy-e

chickenista said:


> We are getting closer!!
> And Simon is on board now. He says he wants a schedule with certain activities on certain days. I am cool with that. Wed. is the park or other PE, Tues. is art and Thurs. is the day he will choose and cook dinner! We discussed flexibility.
> We also talked about tests on materials and taking notes etc.. every month if he has good test scores he can choose the activity reward. He will be keeping track of his own test scores in a grade book. Good practice at graphing etc.. and one more thing I do not have to do!
> He may watch educational documentaries and play educational computer games during the day and he may earn Wii time by chores and exceptional effort etc..
> Looking good!
> DH is saying that Christmas break is the break with the school if things do not drastically improve...which they won't.
> My mother will rupture something.. but I really do not care in the least. It has nothing to do with her.


Sounds like you are ready if it goes that way. I like that this is something you seem to be starting to get excited about. That will go a long way to helping your son in the transition if it goes down. It usually works better i it is something that you want to do as opposed to something that you feel you have to do.  Glad hubby is on board now, too. Hope your mom comes around. FWIW, they usually do. They start to see that it works. My mil is a strong advocate of mine and she is a former public school teacher too. It happens. 

Good luck!

Cindyc.


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## Tracy Rimmer

I'd just like to say that, IMHO, many times the people who we expect to have the worst reactions to our decision to home educate end up surprising us, and vice versa. 

For instance, my VERY conservative father was the one I had the most concern about telling when we first did this -- I fully expected him to do his "cool disapproval" (which is still effective, despite the fact that I'll be forty this year  ) We expected a much better reaction from DH's parents, former 60's youth, to be the most supportive in our decision to "go against the grain" and "buck the system".

Dad shocked the heck out of me -- telling me that he'd wished he and Mom could have home educated us kids, and my inlaws lost their string.

It's only now, ten years (nearly eleven!!) further on, that I realize that neither reaction really mattered. I mean, it mattered in terms of our personal relationships with these people (one more "eye opening" moment!), but it didn't affect the validity of our decision. 

If your decision is well thought out and well planned for, then the only people whose reaction matters is that of the people living in your home and directly affected by it. Long term, people come around (or not), but seriously, in the long run, you're not doing it for them, are you?

You've put a lot of time and consideration into this decision, Chicken -- don't let others undermine your confidence in that decision by their reactions. In the long run, they aren't responsible for your children and what is best for them, you are -- and as a parent, the right to make those decisions is yours.


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## chickenista

Oh..I know my mother will short circuit. She is already annoyed that we chose the charter school that we did. Latin, Art History etc.. she says that public school is just fine etc..
But I truly do not care what she thinks. I am weird that way. And I have great support from other members of the family including some financial help for special stuff for Simon. (yeah)
We ahve named the school and are waiting on DH's transcripts and then we will file. 
New school 'begins' in January!


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## meanwhile

Hello there -- how are things down your way today? We are wet wet wet up here. A muddy mess......about the Homeschool Thing: My Husband almost died dead and laid eggs when I pulled the kids out of school! Most of my family went totally bonkers and told me that I had ruined everything and we would all die, get a rash, go to the Poor House but Jail first......it was plain awful.

The children and I ignored them all and did what we Pleased that whole first year! It was great. (Remember I am the one with Husband who works in another State and he was only up here weekends -- that helped tons!) As that year progressed and no one went to Jail and no one died and no one got a rash (the Rash thing is a Family Joke for when you do something so bad you might get a Rash).......and we all still had some sense.......people came around and began to consider it might actually be OK.

Husband got on board once he saw and felt the HUGE major difference in how happy everyone was and how much brighter the kids were......Bright in the Happy and Energetic way. Then, after that first year of doing nothing but Fun stuff......he saw that we hit the books (the older son enrolled at AB Tech and made mostly A's and B's)...and it all turned out OK. 

Good luck -- did you find the Homeschool Groups down there? I don't know the names but there are several. Check into Isothermal too. Also - you can just "Homeschool" for a year, then announce he graduated, then enroll him in the GED Program at Isothermal. The GED prep programs are great.....in my opinion. Then, they qualify for regular Comm College classes and for Financial Aid for the classes. 

Good luck --


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## Lisa in WA

meanwhile said:


> My Husband almost died dead and laid eggs when I pulled the kids out of school! Most of my family went totally bonkers and told me that I had ruined everything and we would all die, get a rash, go to the Poor House but Jail first......it was plain awful.
> 
> The children and I ignored them all and did what we Pleased that whole first year!
> --


You pulled the kids out of school without your husband's approval? Isn't parenting supposed to be a 50/50 kind of thing?


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## meanwhile

LisaInN.Idaho: 
Parenting, like marriage....or any other relationship for that matter is not always a "50/50 kind of thing".....nor can it always be so.......at least in my opinion. There can be Balance and in our house there is balance....but 50/50 is not the same thing. There are times when I must make decisions (like the Homeschool one) and times when my husband might make a decision. Yes, I did make the decision to pull the kids out of school and my husband was very concerned and worried about it, however, he trusts me and trusts me to make sound decisions...in all things...not just with the children. In time, he too saw that Homeschooling worked and was best. 

I do a lot of things "without my husband's approval" just as he does things without checking with me first. I cannot imagine it any other way. I would be the one dropping dead and laying eggs if he thought I was going to call him up every day to do some "50/50" discussion of what to do next! 

My husband and I have been married for 25 years now and were together for 5 years before that.....so we have figured thing out pretty good by now. For us it is more a Balancing act....over time.....than a 50/50 daily thing. I get your point - and it is a good point - but for us, I just don't think that would have worked. 

Now - having said that - I am totally not encouraging anyone to up and do something against what the other Parents would want. Families are different just like people are different and so everyone has to decide what is best for them. I was just sharing what happened to us ...in the event that our experiences would help give options or ideas to others. 

Now -- I have to go move the stakes where the tractor man is digging the foundation for the Outdoor Kitchen so he can get it dug before my husband gets back next week!!


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## ErinP

Tracy Rimmer said:


> For instance, my VERY conservative father was the one I had the most concern about telling when we first did this -- I fully expected him to do his "cool disapproval" (which is still effective, despite the fact that I'll be forty this year  ) We expected a much better reaction from DH's parents, former 60's youth, to be the most supportive in our decision to "go against the grain" and "buck the system".
> 
> Dad shocked the heck out of me -- telling me that he'd wished he and Mom could have home educated us kids, and my inlaws lost their string.


We had a very similar experience. I expected my inlaws to be pretty supportive of the whole thing (they were). But I was just positive that my folks would really try to discourage us. 

Not at all. In fact, not only was my 30year public school teacher mom fully behind us, my dad was so psyched about the whole idea that he came up with our name (Nebraska requires a name): Prairie Home School (because like in Lake Wobegon, all the children are above average.  )


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## Karen

Neither mine or my inlaws approved at all of our homeschooling -- and made a really big deal about. Although I remained respectful to their opinions, our 'job' is to do what is right our my children; not for your parents. They have no decision making 'rights' when it comes to your children; they only have the 'privilege' of giving their opinion and reasons why they feel that way.

That doesn't mean you don't listen and assure your parents you appreciate that they love your children too and only want what is best but, ultimately, it's your job as a parent to do what you know to be best for your children.

Sometimes you need to just dig in and let it be known that this is 'your' decision and they can either support you or keep their discouraging comments to themselves..lol. The same goes with any one who feels the need to constantly criticize rather than to encourage and appreciate your efforts.

As far as socialization goes, I feel pretty certain I speak for every homeschool parent out there when I say I'm so sick and tired of hearing the 'socialization' critics I want to scream! 

What part of socialization being different from education can they not get? If a child is in PS so they can socialize, then it's no wonder we fall so severely behind other countries in education. Ever wonder why "Johnny Can't Read"??? Maybe it's because he's too busy socializing...lol. 

If these critics would just use their heads and think about it, what they are saying is, that if a child can't talk in class, during lunch, or between classes to their peers, then it means these homeschool kids will turn out to be social misfits and screwed up adults for all eternity. Please! 

What type of socialization is better for a child than being with people of all different ages - from peers to adults, to elderly? What better socialization than being involved in service groups, church, and sports? Where in life is everyone all lined up in rows, working on exactly the same thing, with peers who are exactly the same age -- No where. Real life means having lived in a world with many different sets of circumstances. It means being able to not only get along with others, but also being able to get along just fine during times when it's just 'you'.


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## meanwhile

Something that helped us with the reluctant relatives was to stack up lots of books and papers. When they were coming over, we just grabbed up piles of books and left them all around and would wave our hand in the direction of the books and say "ohhhh that is the boys school work".......which was not a "lie" as such since it would be their school work to put the books back up later. 

Most people associate books and paper work with "school." Yes, there is some to be done but many kids learn best by doing stuff. Ours boys do very very little "paper" work. But - if it does not look like they are doing school work, then people get grouchy. So - just pile up some books and papers when relatives get near and claim it is school work to keep the peace.


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## majik

My professor father really surprised me too with his support when we brought our daughter home. He didn't really understand, but he supported, and now gets it alot more. This summer, he and his grand daughter vacationed together and he oberserves the positive changes in her and her new eagerness to learn as well as her open ness to new experiences. My mom? Let's just say we don't talk about that. Ha ha.


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## Bonnie

digApony said:


> Most highly gifted children are homeschooled.


So are many rebellious kids.

Two people can play that game, can't we?


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## chickenista

Mailed the paperwork today!!!! Woo Hoo!! I guess..sorta..Oh no! Yeah!
Conflicted and worried, but still I know/feel it is the right and best thing for us.


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## offthegrid

digApony said:


> Most highly gifted children are homeschooled.





Bonnie said:


> So are many rebellious kids.
> 
> Two people can play that game, can't we?


Hmmm. I'm not sure I'd agree with either statement. Many highly gifted children are traditionally educated. Many rebellious kids, too. And vice versa. I see no point in making such extravagant claims....there are many ways to educate every child.

But, many families find that homeschooling works best for their family. OP - good for you!! It's scary at first (we left public school after 5 years!) but it isn't as hard as it seems. There are SO many ways for your child to socialize with other kids; it's just such a non-issue for us. 

Good luck to you and enjoy! Take a few weeks to just settle in; read books, pick a favorite subject and explore it a little. Don't feel pressured to "school at home" for 6 hours a day. You'll figure out what works best for you!


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## TurnerHill

I homeschool. Now, with that out of the way:

1. Socialization is a perfectly valid concern. Real life means sometimes having to deal with people not pre-screened by your parents;
2. The "most highly gifted children are homeschooled" thing is absolutely absurd;
3. If my wife tried to make decisions about something as important as our children's education without involving me, I would very possibly divorce her, since it would mean she obviously had no respect for me whatsoever.


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## ChristieAcres

I homeschooled my DS and DD. DS had Childhood Epilepsy and was "Learning Challenged," if you will. DD was at the top 3% of IQ/Test Scores. When studies were done, I can say I'd agree with one of the results- homeschooled children who became adults were typically more self-disciplined and independent. That isn't to say children who went to Public School couldn't be self-disciplined and independent. That stats showed there were simply a higher % of HS'd. No issues with socialization, but they were given a lot of opportunities to be with other children growing up (parks, outings, Bible classes, choirs, plays, camping, etc...) 

My children are both grown:

DD- Independent, supported herself since age 18, worked multiple jobs at time to earn what she needed to meet her self-assigned goals. She is pursuing a music career, has been in multiple bands, and is recording original songs (she writes the lyrics/music). In CO, she acted in a docudrama (on teen violence) & did a little modeling & marketing work, then in FL she was in a few infomercials. She is 21 and can hold her own in a debate, too. No social issues. 

DS- Independent, supported himself since a few months before he was 18. He worked his way up to Manager at an Italian Style Pizza place. This week, he quit, giving proper notice, and is moving to work at a Resort for the Winter. He plans to do some traveling. He is turning 20 in less than 2 weeks. No social issues and is quite a comedian. His gift is writing, so far. With Epilepsy until age 12, there was a delay in some development (Left Partial Complex Seizure Disorder). 

DD & DS each had different learning styles, too. She is Auditory while he is Visual/Tactile. Teaching them was both challenging and a lot of fun. 

A lot of the parents I know have their children living with them well into their twenties... OMGosh, how brutal?! I love my children, but wanted them to grow up and have their own independent lives and go on adventures... Yes, miss them wayyyyyyyyyyyy much, but happy for them & get to see them as often as it can be arranged.

DD's goal is to spend Christmas with me & I am praying it works out!

On making the decision? It was out of both our hands regarding our DS. With his Epilepsy and other health issues, he couldn't attend school. DD was a little too gifted to just integrate into school. She rose above her peers too quickly (reading 2nd grade level at age 4). The DH wasn't in favor, but he did agree to it as long as I could show/prove results. That was the easy part! 

DH1 is now an ex. DH2 had 3 grown sons when we married. That simplified a lot of things. On decisions? We have an agreement on that. No serious decision are made without consulting with the other. However, we both agree there are situations where that may not be possible & trust each other to make independent decisions (when necessary). So, this means I don't go out and buy a new car without discussing it... But, if I see something on sale that I have wanted/needed (especially a need item)? I may buy it without discussing it with DH, however, it can't be a big ticket item (we agreed on that mutually). It could be there was a very good reason "Meanwhile" pulled her kids out of school. If her husband initially didn't approve, but did accept it? I can't see that as so disrespectful and it wouldn't be my right to judge. I believe marriage is complex & cannot be measured in %s very easily.


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