# Single Homesteaders Date night



## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Do you give yourself a date night, when you dont have a date?

I am giving myself a date night tonite, I am actually going to watch a whole movie and soak my feet and paint my toes nails.


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

Yeah, sometimes I sit on the couch beside myself and tell myself that I'm kinda cute in my own way, then I tell myself "Stop it" And kinda giggle a little, because I don't really want myself to stop. Then, one thing leads to another and next thing you know, my back is out. Again. Then I roll over and go to sleep while I lay there thinking "Why don't I ever talk to me after?" Is that what you're talking about?? I'll make a movie of it next time, that's a good idea.
Sometimes I hurt my own feelings but I always forgive myself. But I'm getting a little sick of my attitude toward me.


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

you need.........

[youtube]cutPWRjWYoM[/youtube]


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

that is a good idea


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Is that Raven's toes?


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

if i ever get the outdoor kitchen thingy done i will start building fires and soaking in my old horse trough....sipping zong wine and smoking a backwoodsman cigar......lol...if i get electric ran i will put a smallish tv so i can watch cartoons too.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

So when when your done Elk my number is BR549...LOL


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

Fowler said:


> Is that Raven's toes?



yours after you get done tonight....but i think multi color random would look best on you....pink...green...yellow...red and so on...in neon....lol


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

Fowler said:


> So when when your done Elk my number is BR549...LOL


i even have a swing arm so anything electrical can swing back in under the shed...i think it will hold a fan in summer time so the skeeters and flys can be blown away.....lol


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Now you got me thinking about the laugh in gurly dancers...body paint.....LOL


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

So Zong have you made up with yourself yet?


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

I just saw what I wrote. Well, there's 2 sides to that story, mine, and mine. I never get to tell my side because I've already told my side, and nobody would believe me anyway, because I already told everybody I'd be around lying and trying to weasel out from the way I treat myself. Just one thing bub. One of these days, I'm gonna be so sick and tired of my crap I'm walking and I'll never see me again. I just think it's bad now, I'll see what true misery is. if I don't let myself go to sleep, I'm gone, baby. Gone, gone, gone. Really gone. Do I finally understand me now???


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

Fowler said:


> Now you got me thinking about the laugh in gurly dancers...body paint.....LOL


finger paint would/could be so romantical...lol


[youtube]1G9FFi6pSyk[/youtube]


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

I wish I would leave. I make me sick. I'm lucky I don't cheat on myself. I'm about as much fun to myself as a truckload of manure. And I never take my needs in consideration. If I leave, I'll have another me before the sun comes up.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Goldie Hawn is still sexy, does that make me gay?


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

Fowler said:


> Goldie Hawn is still sexy, does that make me gay?


not in the least bit....it makes you human....a athletic body is a work of art on both men and female.


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

I wish I'd never met me!!


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

i wish i was built like them MMA fighters.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

goldie Hawn got better looking as she aged. She did not look so good young.


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

Fowler said:


> So when when your done Elk my number is BR549...LOL


I wish fowler would tell us why she has zong's phone number?

Is zong really alone or not? Hmmmmm


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

Terri in WV said:


> I wish fowler would tell us why she has zong's phone number?
> 
> Is zong really alone or not? Hmmmmm


Yea....Hey!....Are those Zongs toes???????


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

Wow I guess getting drunk n taken advantage of weakend morality is about par


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

Well, I got to thinking about it, I guess I'd miss myself. So I took about 30 Nodoze so I could stay up and make myself happy, And I took about 25 Sleepeze so I could sleep, since I was going to sleep. Well, I told myself I'm really sorry and would try to treat myself better, and I forgave myself, and one thing led to another, and now, not only is my back out, but I got one heck of a crick in my neck. And I'm laying there sleeping like a rock, after the Sleepeze, while I'm wide awake, after all those Nodoze.
Somehow I'm the victim of a victimless crime. And I am too.


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

I don't know why I still drive around till I sober up? Not like any ones gonna yell at me for showing up drunk


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

Oh sorry guys I thought I was posting on someone's Facebook page


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

I worked hard all day then I wanted to get myself drunk and take advantage of myself, But I told myself, I don't have to do that, I'm mine, any time. But I kept putting drinks right in front of me, and I just couldn't tell myself no, so, next thing I know my hands are all over myself, which is what I really wanted anyway!! i mean, won't I ever understand myself??


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

I fowler doesn't mind her thread being jacked for mindless toilet humor an junior high antics n Tom foolery


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

I hate it when I throw up all over myself in those tender moments. I mean, what the heck is wrong with me?


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

Ehhj, I'll apologize to her later and send her a giant box of chocolates. And a flower or something. You know flower and fowler are anagrams, right??


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

I would like a anagram or sarahgram or anglineagram IDc what her name is


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

I guess a bikini anagram would be best


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

Speaking of anagrams, I think I'd like a woman whose name had alliteration. Like Lilly Alveoli or something. Lana Alliteration. Especially if she gave herself her own nickname. Like "Pudge" or something. That would really work for me. Her age should be a prime number, or within 20 of one.


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

Only prime I'd like is s prime of her life bikini gram


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

Woman facebooked me. Ask did I like dope. I told her, my first wife was a dope. She said "Are you 420 friendly?" And I told her, "Lady, much over 365, I'm gonna be a little standoffish" 

I know I told that same story last year, but I don't remember it by now.


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

I saw a picture of a guy, and I was looking at it, and I was thinking, "That guy looks hot" Then I recognized it was a picture of myself on that day it was 108 degrees. I'm glad too, because I liked the way I looked. But the way I felt kind of bothered me.


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

420 PayPal cashiers checks it all works for me


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

If it was OK to say "heck" in here, I'd say "I wish the heck I would grow up" but I know I cant say it. Really though, somebody around here should act grownup.


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

Actually I don't really care how the bikini gram is paid for .


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

People have been taken grown up pictures since summer


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

I don't think a 420 in a bikini would really work. On the other hand, it would be unforgettable!!!


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

I think everyone is getting down now. U gotta keep up with the times


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

Oh, thats not really me, I pay that guy for his picture. I'm really a 12 year old kid, named Pudge, who is in juvenile detention for eating live squirrels.


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

I would like 5 supermodels in bikinis


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

I think I ate your chocolate squirel


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

I'm digging a cave near the creek, gonna sell tickets to watch a crazy guy by the creek chasing down squirrels. You know, when I sold all them chickens(23 of them) those people called me "Rocky" cause I could catch them chickens like nobody's business. The guy was telling me "You got really fast hands" and his wife was saying "Ohhhhhhh Gaaaaaaaddddddd" at the same time.


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

Guess u need a Natasha then


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

Well I guess u got enough Natasha's already


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

My reflexes are too fast to waste on that skinny commie. I need me a chunky mama that can take the pressure.


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

U just better hope u don't get a Natasha gram


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

Ahh this is a thread about canning! Tmi


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

I don't want to be around somebody that looks like they'd break. Thats like a challenge or something.


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

Physical I can deal with mental is to much.


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

Thats why I like alliteration. I actually knew a woman named Nanny Nonella. She won't much, but saying her name was a lotta fun


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

Since I don't have any chickens to deal with, I can come to New York and visit. Think you can send me gas money?? I shouldn't have ate all that cabbage.


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

I'm not in to that freaky stuff. Had a chick say she wanted to alliterate. I said so u don't want a fish sandwich?


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

We don't want your kind above the mason Dixon line


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

I saw something on the news about illegal aliens, and I got really offended. I mean, screw them, I came a zillion light years to get here and touch the women.


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

We got enough problems with the illegals already. They keep flying in dropping off big foots etc...


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

Really, I mean, you just don't mess with a guy who has a 3 point hitch, PTO driven time machine. Who do those Philistines think they are?? And the heck with some Hittites, too.


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

I was gonna ask what's Orbison with humans butts but i don't wanna know


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

Sorry, I slipped into the wrong parallel universe there, for a second. Pesky tear in the space/time continuum. I'm going to fix that tomorrow, if I'm not busy.


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

When you say "above" do you mean, like suspended in midair? or in a jet or something?


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

Obsesion


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

dang, space/time continuum again. I asked that 5 hours ago and it's just now showing up


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

Thats a man's cologne, right?? I drank some Hennesey once. It was OK.


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

I mean like the whole im not touching u. But are obnoxiously close


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

I'm wearing my close, thank you.


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

Well, not all of them at one time. That would be crazy!!


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

I'm looking for a grant to track big foots through underground tunnel systems built by aliens.


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

For all the shows there's gotta besome money in it


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

Raeven is giving out scholarships to study something. I applied and lied. because its part of applied. And she didn't give me nothing. Then wanted to borrow a thousand bucks!! Somehow, I'm not all that happy. I mean, she's gonna pay me back $3 a month. I guess it's OK. Don't really feel right tho.


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

I guess I should come up with my own theory n make show


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

yall make me feel dirty just readin your posts.....lol


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

Well I'm out down to 6%


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

I thought it would be really cool to be an alien, but all my friends laughed when my spaceship was really a double wide refrigerator. I mean, what the heck?? Didn't they ever watch Dr Who??? Apparently not...


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

2 is the only even prime number. I win a lot of bets with that one. I go in bars, find a woman sitting by herself, sidle up to her and say "Hey baby. Bet you a dang good time you don't know the only even prime number" And they say "What?" And I say "2. Lets go"


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

Fowler, hey, Fowler. Bet you a dang good time you don't know the only even prime number.


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

That's the most fun I had in weeks. Except for that one time.
Anyway, if Fowler don't know the answer is 2, she'll have to call me at BR549 and talk really mean to me, because thats what I like and I'm one of those guys that weigh 1100 pounds and have grown to the couch.


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## whiskeylivewire (May 27, 2009)

This blonde is confused and is just going to sit in the corner drinking whiskey....

which is pretty much what happens when I'm out and about too...


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

Ok, whiskey. bet you a real good time. Do you know the only even prime number??


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## whiskeylivewire (May 27, 2009)

2......is my guess because apparently I can't just enter the number 2 without this thinger getting angry at me and stuff.


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

OK, you win, Let's go.


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

I love the even prime number line!!


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## whiskeylivewire (May 27, 2009)

hahaha...silly. My pick up line is better...and it works 99% of the time...


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

OK, as long as you know that I weigh 1700 pounds and the threads of my couch have grown through my brain, because I havent moved, took a bath, or nothing since like 1980. 


Tell me your line, so I can pick up chicks...
I know they all think I'm hot, but just don't know what to say to a 1700 pound hunk o' love.


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## whiskeylivewire (May 27, 2009)

It's an easy line to remember but probably only works when women say it.......



ya wanna?


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

I'm too sober for this thread. Did Fowler fall asleep after sniffing her nail polish?


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## whiskeylivewire (May 27, 2009)

I haven't seen her around


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

Raven12 said:


> I'm too sober for this thread. Did Fowler fall asleep after sniffing her nail polish?


You and your pegleg really turn me on. Will you ever send me a pic of that peghead you keep talking about?? I've been working on one of those.. So far, i got a peg-thumb, a peg-ear, and a peg u-no-what. The thumb works best, but theres a world of potential for the others.


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

No. Because then you would want a pic of a peg boob.


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

Well, I mean, what's wrong with that?? I been here a long time, been accused of a lot, but I never shared nobody's pegboob pictures. You can trust me.
You do remember that time I didn't tell what you didn't say, right??


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

You catch a glimpse of my peg boob and it is all over. You will be packing your bags for the North.


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

I need a change.


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

So, Raven12. Uhhhh. Bet you a real good time you don't know the only even prime number... I'm talking about a real good time you're reflect on in your death bed.


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

Don't struggle with the answer, 2. Lets go. I'm gonna break your concept of reality and you're gonna love it.


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

zong 5 minutes with a peg leg gurl and a cold drink of water would kill you and me....lol


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

I just want the pegboob pic.


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

69. How's that for a prime number?


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

I'm still freaked out about gwyneth paltrow and her peg finger in "royal tennebaums" I mean, how hot was that??


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

I can't go there on this board. Again...I AM WAY TOO SOBER FOR THIS.


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

Raven12 said:


> 69. How's that for a prime number?


its better than prime rib eye steak....roflmro


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

No!! 69 is divisible by 3 and 23. and it's not even, either!!! Let's go, Peg!! I'm gonna change your world outlook!! remember that time you said you could never go for a man that weighed 1700 pounds and was welded to the furniture?? Well, it's me, baby!!


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

elkhound said:


> its better than prime rib eye steak....lol


Dude, it's better than Kobe beef.


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

Raven12 said:


> Dude, it's better than Kobe beef.


amen.....:teehee:


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

Great. Now I am horny. You stinkers. There isn't much else to life other than good food and sex.


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

Either send the pegboob pics, or either it's cyber kissing and hugging with a 1700 pound man. And, I just ordered 26 pizzas from that place says "order 25 pizzas, get the 26th free!"


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

Oooo pizza. You gonna share that pepperoni?


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

Raven12 said:


> Great. Now I am horny. You stinkers. There isn't much else to life other than good food and sex.



:teehee: :nana: :teehee: :nana: :viking: :viking:


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

Oh, I see now. You can love a 1400 pound man, but not a 1700 pound man. No matter how cool he is. Like, that's fair and all.


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

No worries about the 1700 pds. You have a good personality.

...and tons of free pizza. What woman wouldn't want that?


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

fowler sniffed the nail polish on her hanky and must be passed out on the bathroom floor drooling all over herself......lol


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

I keep checking my inbox. Until I realized that the word "inbox" was getting me off. Hold on, I think I just got a message.......


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## whiskeylivewire (May 27, 2009)

I'm just in the corner again getting drunk...I'm lost. lol


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

i knew a peg leg women who liked a 1700 pound pizza maker

they lived happily ever after


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

The pizza is like me. Not free.....But cheap.


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

elkhound said:


> fowler sniffed the nail polish on her hanky and must be passed out on the bathroom floor drooling all over herself......lol


Let's write "fairy duster" on her face!


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

whiskeylivewire said:


> I'm just in the corner again getting drunk...I'm lost. lol


i will sit with you if you promise not to shock me....you are a livewire ya know


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

Ok, I have to be up early tomorrow. Cheers all! Get in a lot of trouble while I am gone. Nite.


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

Raven12 said:


> Let's write "fairy duster" on her face!


we could paint butterflies on her and then tuck her in to sleep and she can wonder what happened in the morning.....lol


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

Raven12 said:


> Ok, I have to be up early tomorrow. Cheers all! Get in a lot of trouble while I am gone. Nite.



nite !


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

Raven12 said:


> Let's write "fairy duster" on her face!


 Wait!! i owe her a box of chocolates!! Leave her alone, I'll take credit, Fowler and me will be straight, and you can send a pic of the pegboob. We're all good. hey, blessed is something something peacemaker.


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## whiskeylivewire (May 27, 2009)

Y'all are mean! Remind me never to get real life drunk around ya! 

Elk-Yes, I am shocking 

All-I gotta get some sleep...I got a volleyball game to go to in the morning, I've had a fight with the soon to be ex and he really bummed me out so I need rest! G'night! No drawing things on me!


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

nite whiskey...sleep well


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## Marshloft (Mar 24, 2008)

Well,, I can see date night went well.
Bed time for me,,, gotta get my boy to baseball practice by 8:30 am.
If I could just lay down and go to sleep,, that'd be good.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

What the heck happened? I think someone spiked my nail polish remover with chroloform!
I woke up this morning in my claw foot bathtub buried in pizza crust, when I pulled myself out I tripped over a ton of what seems to be sexually explicit wooden body parts, and my face has Fairy Duster written on it, seriously did you have to use the permenent marker..LOL I'm glad date night went well, sorry i missed it. Can someone tell me why there's a 1700 lb man wearing my girl underwear and a helmet in my bed?


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

Fowler, sorry for the drive by shooting of your thread. I just have too much energy and nothing to focus on. So, about 1:00 in the morning, I drove to Danville to the all night Walmart(Drove real fast so I wouldn't spend a lot of time driving drunk, I'm trying to protect and serve, here!!!) And bought about 20 thousand piece jigsaw puzzles. And a giant box of candy. Well, I finished off the puzzles a few minutes after 5:00, then had a brilliant idea. I live in the woods, so I'll start making wooden peglegs and selling them on Ebay! I run an ad, "Wooden Peglegs custom made, send your preference in design and a naked picture" And went out to get started, with my chainsaw,axe, and pocket Knife. Well, never do any chainsaw work before the sun comes up. I became my first customer. Got back to the house and Ebay had taken down my ad. Anyway, I rubbed Chocolate candy on the leg, and it (leg not candy) appears to be regenerating. So, I'm sorry I won't be sending you the big box of chocolate. After a while, I'll think up some platitudes and send them to you. It's the thought that counts.


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

lol yall....i think this thread got jacked....lol


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Fowler said:


> What the heck happened? I think someone spiked my nail polish remover with chroloform!
> I woke up this morning in my claw foot bathtub buried in pizza crust, when I pulled myself out I tripped over a ton of what seems to be sexually explicit wooden body parts, and my face has Fairy Duster written on it, seriously did you have to use the permenent marker..LOL I'm glad date night went well, sorry i missed it. Can someone tell me why there's a 1700 lb man wearing my girl underwear and a helmet in my bed?


At least he is in your bed and didn't wake up in the bath tub with you.


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## wildhorse (Oct 22, 2006)

Y'all are a mess I have laughed so hard I cryed. I think y'all are a wonderful group of people.


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

cindilu said:


> At least he is in your bed and didn't wake up in the *bath tub with you*.


I would be worried about 1700 pds in the bathtub on you.


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

Fowler said:


> What the heck happened? I think someone spiked my nail polish remover with chroloform!
> I woke up this morning in my claw foot bathtub buried in pizza crust, when I pulled myself out I tripped over a ton of what seems to be sexually explicit wooden body parts, and my face has Fairy Duster written on it, seriously did you have to use the permenent marker..LOL I'm glad date night went well, sorry i missed it. Can someone tell me why there's a 1700 lb man wearing my girl underwear and a helmet in my bed?


Uh........

Zong in a thong and a helmet

Pinocchia12 spread about in pieces......(ia=fem io)

My perm marker is missing.....

:umno: I ain't gonna think or even try to analyze this....?????

So..... Hi ya Flower, Hows your day starting...


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2012)

wildhorse said:


> Y'all are a mess I have laughed so hard I cryed. I think y'all are a wonderful group of people.


You're one of us now!! Say, I'll bet you a real good time you can't guess the only even prime number.


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

I think this thread is about worth a velvet painting of dolphin n whale getting it on. Wait that already happend


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