# Still born baby burial dress....



## AngieM2 (May 10, 2002)

Have any of you ever made something for a still born baby?

I did one for an early still birth a few years ago; the mother was a friend of ours at church and she knew about the stillness of the baby weeks before it delivered. It was a small (about a 1lb) son. I also crocheted a little blanket to put in the casket with him.

Tonight I'm dying bleached muslin a soft pink for a little still born girl baby that should have been alive - she was last week before she turned for the birth position. I learned about her during this past week as the mother is a friend of my youngest daughter. Deb (my daughter) contacted me about making something for the baby (didn't know if girl or boy at that time) to be buried in if her friend wanted it.

I got the word today - Melody Faith was stillborn, the gown has to be at the funeral home before 9 am on Saturday for the funeral. Fortunately I'd taken Friday and Tuesday off around this long weekend, so I'll be making this little newborn sized pink gown for the Melody tomorrow. (pink at the request of mother).

I have her weight, length and name. Finding light soft pink fabric today didn't work, so I'm dying some bleached muslin so it will be soft to touch and be pink. I have thin white, and some thin pink ribbons and I'll be raiding my lace stash. Also, contemplating the monogram on the skirt or top of the gown for Melody.

All I know, I have to make it special and if time add a bonnet and something for the mom to keep as a keepsake of Melody.

If you picture 4 yards of white muslin and the ribbons - I'll post a photo of what I get made tomorrow.

I hope it helps the mom a little bit to get thru this.

Angie


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## Cloverbud (Sep 4, 2006)

I'm sure it will be beautiful, and will touch Mom's heart forever. I know I need a tissue just reading this.


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## calliemoonbeam (Aug 7, 2007)

I just want to say that what you are doing is a beautiful thing. I'm crying as I write this, partly because of that and partly because three days ago was the anniversary of the birth and death of my own child. He was born at 6-1/2 months and died after only eight hours of life. I never even got to hold him while he was alive, as I almost died as well and was unconscious and fighting for my own life. I had to sign out against medical advice four days later to even go to the funeral, as the doctors were refusing to release me.

My sister, unknown to me, had been crocheting a blanket for me to bring the baby home in, and she hurried and got it finished. She went out and found a beautiful fancy crochet decorated sleeper to match (both soft baby yellow) and took them to the funeral home. The sleeper was much too big, as he only weighed 3 lb. 1 oz., but she folded up the sleeves into cuffs and turned the little legs back and pinned them up, then lovingly wrapped him in the blanket.

Now this next may sound morbid to a lot of people, but the funeral home took pictures of my baby in his casket (beautiful white marble) and after the funeral she gave them to me. I couldn't bear to look at them for a long time, but finally got the courage, and while it broke my heart all over again it was also a comfort, and I can't tell you how I've treasured those photos over the years. 

I don't know whether the pictures would be a good idea in this instance or not, but I know she will always treasure the love and care you put into this outfit, and including something as a keepsake will just make it even more special. My own experience happened 35 years ago, but sometimes it feels just like yesterday. Bless you for doing this for her.

Sleep well, my angel, Jamie - 05/20/73 4:33 a.m. - 12:38 p.m.


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## Shawna (Jul 10, 2007)

I will tell you, doing something like this for that little one and the mom...well, she will have you close to her heart for forever. Sadly, many people do not take stillborn births (and pregnancy losses) as they are; the loss of your child. I think it's a wonderful thing you are doing! You will certainly be helping this mother during one of th emost heartbreaking times of her life.


(((Hugs))) to you for your generosity....

Shawna


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## sewsilly (May 16, 2004)

This is something that I do, as a volunteer, when I have a rainy day with no 'aim' or on days when I'm feeling poorly (that first day of my menstrual cycle, girls, has gotten to be a drag, so I might as well sit and sew). I've only done it a couple of times for a baby that I 'Knew".

Also, for knitters. Often these littlest ones are born with skull deformities. Tiny, tiny knitted caps are very helpful, even for that very first viewing by the parents. I donate to a local hospital. A nurse told me that on several occasions, when they realize there are skull misformations (as the baby presents) they go ahead and have a cap ready to pop on there. I didnt' realize how very important this was until a student of mine gave birth to a little girl born this way, and there, in the photos was one of my knitted caps. It helped her to have a peaceful two hours with her little girl before the end came.

Here are some links that might help.

http://www.carewear.org/index.cfm?pid=patterns/_patterns.cfm

http://cuddles-uk.org/index.htm

http://www.craftown.com/knit/knit40.htm

http://www.knittingpatterncentral.com/directory/baby_burial_clothing.php


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## sewing nana (Oct 18, 2002)

I as well am in tears as I write this. What a wonderful thing you are doing. The memory item you make will help the family with healing. God be with you as you make these. There are ministries that do this. Do you need a pattern? Lift up the family.


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## AngieM2 (May 10, 2002)

Melody will be getting a full sized baby dress, but I'm probably going to make the whole back openable. She was 8 lbs some oz and 21`". She was about full term.

Right now I'm trying to get the pink just right, it was a bit darker than I wanted to I'm lightening it some right now. It's very hard to find a suitable BABY pink.

And sewsilly, I've done the booties for Choose Life before. I need to get wtih the hospital on some of this sewing/crocheting stuff.

Angie


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## TiaD (Oct 30, 2007)

Angie - bless your heart for doing this for the mother. What a wonderful gift that comes from the heart and is one she will remember for a long time. If you would like a small keepsake for the mother, and you have enough of the fabric and stuff left, perhaps a small shawl - about the size for wrapping the baby in.

Callie - it's not unusual for a funeral home to take pictures of the baby in the casket. I've seen it done before. DH's older brother died at birth and we have pictures of him laying on his side in the casket in the little blue outfit he was supposed to wear home. I think it was wonderful of your sister to do that for you.


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## sewing nana (Oct 18, 2002)

http://www.bevscountrycottage.com/bereavement-gowns.html I found this if you need it. Cathy


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## PETSNEGGS (Oct 7, 2005)

I too have tears running dwon my face. I send you and the familey all the love and hugs and prayers. Angie, I know this is so special for the parents and you have a huge heart. thank you for sharing, I think I will also look into the local hospital here and see if there is a need or if that is something they would like to have. Bless you!


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## Ardie/WI (May 10, 2002)

I'm bawling too.


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## Guest (May 23, 2008)

Bless you for doing this. 

If you have time and extra fabric, make up a few preemie outfits for other stillborn babies. You can take them to the local hospital and they'll keep them until they are needed. There was a group in St. Louis who was doing that for the local hospitals. They made outfit after outfit and donated them all. Most of the women who made the outfits had stillborn children and this was their therapy and ministry. 

If you can make a keepsake for the parents (bonnet, blanket, etc) that would be wonderful, too.


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## AngieM2 (May 10, 2002)

For the ones of you that have lost little ones, I just cannot imagin. Hugs to you.

And the update is I have a few more hours, so I can get a bit fancier. The plans have changed to having the gown, laying beside the casket as a representation of Melody, then they plan to shadow box it. It will be a closed casket service.

I've been matching pink thread and fonts to put the monogram on the front of the dress.

Maybe this is the event we all need to do some charity sewing for the hospitals. And think what we could do for the living ones also.

Again - hugs to all the Moms that don't have their little ones around to hug on.

Angie


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## simplefarmgirl (Mar 31, 2006)

wow sitting here all choked up,bawling right along with the rest of you., its been since 1993 since I lost my little boy, and thought it was getting easier every Sept, I never got to hole my son either.. What your doing is unbelievably wonderful,, wish some one had of done it for my little boy. Keep up the wonderful work,, You are a Blessing


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## Garnet (Sep 19, 2003)

Sadly, in a major city, there are a number of babies that don't make it. Little burial gowns, caps, etc. are not available. There are some women in the quilt guild and other sewing groups here who regularly make and donate these little garments.


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## AngieM2 (May 10, 2002)

Since all of you are my sewing buddies... I'll show you what I gave my daughter for Melody.

Here's the whole dress (sized 8 - 13 lbs)


Here is a closer look at the bodice:



Here's the bottom of the dress:




and here is the bonnet



Deb (my daughter) did ask about possibly making a hanky, so I told her - if she or the mother wants I have 2 more yards of fabric, and lace and ribbons for anything they want. 

Angie


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## calliemoonbeam (Aug 7, 2007)

Thanks Angie and everyone, and my sympathies to everyone else who's gone through it. It gets easier, but you never truly get over it. I wasn't looking for sympathy, just wanted Angie to know just how special it is what she's doing. 

I've done many, many charity contributions for premies and stillbirths with sewing, crocheting, knitting, etc., and I encourage anyone else who has the skills to do so also. It's such a rewarding feeling, and believe me you are making a world of difference to the mothers of these children. 

P.S. Angie, that is just a beautiful, beautiful outfit! Thanks for sharing that with us.


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## Ardie/WI (May 10, 2002)

The gown is beautiful, Angie. Bless you.


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## bopeep (Apr 2, 2007)

Oh, Angie, that is just beautiful, I am sure it will mean a lot too. 
You are so sweet to make it.
God Bless You !!!!!
bopeep


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## Cloverbud (Sep 4, 2006)

It's absolutely lovely. You're an angel, Angie.


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## Ninn (Oct 28, 2006)

Angie, it's a lovely gown. I'm glad to hear the mamma will shadowbox it and keep it. I used to wonder about photos of deceased infants myself. Then my sister lost her nearly full term baby boy in a car accident. He lived for about 8 hours, but just couldn't stabilize. The photos the funeral home took of him are done in the old-time, retouched rosy baby style and they are lovely. The nurse who prepared his body also dressed him and took some pix for my sister. She has not been able to display them, but it does help her keep his face in her mind. He is buried so far from her that she only sees him once a year. I don't think it will be long before she takes those photos out. 

As a family, we got together and adopted a star for Shaennen. She has a star map, showing it's location, and a beautifully framed certificate that hangs on the wall. Now she knows just exactly where, in all the heavens, her little one is. Probably the nicest thing I have ever seen done for a grieving mamma was to give her a solid thing to hold on to. You've just done the same. Well done, Angie. God bless you.


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## Billie in MO (Jun 9, 2002)

calliemoonbeam said:


> Thanks Angie and everyone, and my sympathies to everyone else who's gone through it. It gets easier, but you never truly get over it. I wasn't looking for sympathy, just wanted Angie to know just how special it is what she's doing.
> 
> I've done many, many charity contributions for premies and stillbirths with sewing, crocheting, knitting, etc., and I encourage anyone else who has the skills to do so also. It's such a rewarding feeling, and believe me you are making a world of difference to the mothers of these children.
> 
> P.S. Angie, that is just a beautiful, beautiful outfit! Thanks for sharing that with us.


Just wanted to second the above. Having buried 2 daughters myself and losing 2 more when I was only 3-4 months along I do understand. My daughters would be 32 and 27 and they are thought of nearly every day in some way and the tears still come, sometimes in the oddest places and times. It is still too painful to share the details as both were so different.

I, also, crochet/sew and make small blankets to give to charities knowing the difference it can make to mothers because of my own circumstances and how I felt when hurtful comments were made.

Thanks Angie for sharing your talent to help a grieving family.


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## AngieM2 (May 10, 2002)

Ninn - I like that adopting a star for the baby. That's something that can be seen anywhere.

I do have a report back from my daughter, Deb. She said she got there and the Mom (or the grandmother, rather unclear) took the dress and bonnet and they had an easel set up and hung the dress from it and put the bonnet on the top, set beside the casket. Deb did take a phone photo from a distance to show me, but I've not seen it yet. Three or four of the family told Debbie how pretty it was and how much they appreciated it.

It did what it was created for.. that is good.

Angie

PS: This was the third baby, but since the first two there was one or two earlier term miscarriages.


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## hanlonfive (Jun 20, 2003)

Angie, what a wonderful thing you did. <hugs> Bringing peace and closure to a family......

Peace and blessings,

Kelli


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