# Well, I went and did it



## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

I was gonna ask on Valentines Day, as that was our anniversary, but, since that is in the dead of winter, I asked the X if she wanted to come live with me. She does, and will. I have to take out the garden tub, and put in a bigger shower than I now have. Ill take out the shower I have, and put in cabinets. Somma the doors will need to be widened to accomidate her 6 wheel chair. Ill also have to make a ramp. Ramp will be the last thing likely as shes near bedfast, and dosnt get outa bed much, other than to go to the bathroom, and kitchen.
I got tired of spending a month at a time nearly here by myself. Im lucky if either sis or kids come by once a month, and that's each one ONCE a month, not all 3 or even 2 once a month. That's one, once a month< IF IM LUCKY.
Yes, her check and mine will make it easier to live, but im still trying to find a job.
Boy asked if I was off my meds. He said to put a lock on the outside of her bedroom when she gets moody lol
Sis asked why I would do that.
DD said she thought she was having a nightmare, and would call me back later to talk about it, as she was driving. 
We get along really good now. I know what shes like, and I know shes likely never to change, but a lot of the things I thought were important just aren't anymore. having someone to talk to who knows something about farming/gardening/homesteading, that IF I can bounce ideas offa her will make her useful, not to mention being better able to keep a budget.
Her name wont be on the contract, and were not getting married, for a long time, if we do, it will be because it benefits one of us, in case.
I wish things had turned out different, but I can look at TLA on TV, and get by, as that's likely as close as id ever get to it/them anyway. lol
I don't love her, but I sure don't hate her, anymore. Funny how things turn out.


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## wdcutrsdaughter (Dec 9, 2012)

Listen, I don't know you very well Farmerboy Bill but if you feel in your heart this is right then good for you. and her. can't always listen to others opinions. they aren't you. life is better shared.


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## frogmammy (Dec 8, 2004)

Congrats, Bill!

Mon


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

Isn't this against everything you've said since you got here ?


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## CajunSunshine (Apr 24, 2007)

Bill, for all the time y'all spend together, and for all that you do for her on a regular basis...I had a good feeling it would end up this way. 

Although, you say you don't "love" her, I can see how it all worked out to be a mutually symbiotic and platonic relationship that seems to suit both of you.

Who knows where this may lead?


.


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

Best to you and your ex, Bill. It's pretty fine to have someone in this world who cares about you, even if it's an ex. Sometimes you learn that what you really needed was right there all the time.


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

Life sure has some odd twists and turns doesn't It?
I wish you both the best!


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## Terri (May 10, 2002)

Wow. 

Congratulations for being in like, and may you both live happily ever after!


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

THANKS GUYS. And AS, Your right, Like I said. Funny how things turn out.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

I once new a fellow who's parents had been married 12 times, to each other. 
I think it's great, Bill.


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## coolrunnin (Aug 28, 2010)

Congrats to ya Bill sounds like both of you will be helped out.


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

All the best to the both of you!


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

Look at it this way, y'all probably deserve each other. ;D


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## ceresone (Oct 7, 2005)

It takes a long to to fully mature, bill, and what seemed so important in another life--isnt as important as it used to be. You know each other--and dont have false illusions of what everything is going to be. Sometimes. its best just to be comfortable with each other, you can say--you remember when? and she will. I am so glad you have each other--living alone can be a very lonely life. i seldom see anyone either. It means a lot to feel another person in the house, when you come home. I am glad for you--but dont forget to post here too.


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## Nsoitgoes (Jan 31, 2016)

Congratulations, Bill. I am sure you will both be very happy. There is a lot to be said for being "in like". It may not have the heady excitement of new love, but it is steady and comfortable and reliable. Let's face it - that means a lot at our age...


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## tamarackreg (Mar 13, 2006)

Congrats Bill!

BTDT and can't say I regret most of it. A few years after our divorce I felt that my kids Mom and I could function better as parents from the same house - my house. Many factors played into the decision and there were more nay-sayers than congratulatuers. It was not love, but it was beneficial to all and there were plenty of good times.

That's all done now, but such a partnership can work and be fun for the benefit of all.

Good luck and best wishes.


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## debbiekatiesmom (Feb 24, 2009)

hello again! that sounds like a perfect arrangement for you, Bill. congratulations. wednesday i got my youngest off to college and i get to try going it alone now. i am working on downsizing everything, including gardening and critters for this next year. i want to get back to doing the things i used to enjoy like quilting and sewing. and with the bad weather that sometimes comes with winter, no one would even know i didn't make it back inside if something happened to me while i was outside doing chores. i spent the last 2 days cleaning and sorting. i took my pickup and trailer loaded to the dump yesterday. cleaned the freezer and the oven. sure felt good to get started.


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## farmgal (Nov 12, 2005)

This sounds beautiful. I hope it all works out for both of you. There's no sense in being home alone. A relationship without expectations are the best kind.


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## Vickie44 (Jul 27, 2010)

FBB, that sounds great, good for you


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## Vickie44 (Jul 27, 2010)

debbiekatiesmom said:


> hello again! that sounds like a perfect arrangement for you, Bill. congratulations. wednesday i got my youngest off to college and i get to try going it alone now. i am working on downsizing everything, including gardening and critters for this next year. i want to get back to doing the things i used to enjoy like quilting and sewing. and with the bad weather that sometimes comes with winter, no one would even know i didn't make it back inside if something happened to me while i was outside doing chores. i spent the last 2 days cleaning and sorting. i took my pickup and trailer loaded to the dump yesterday. cleaned the freezer and the oven. sure felt good to get started.


A new start makes everything feel fresh, enjoy your journey ! Havent seen you here for ages DKM , sounds like all is well


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## debbiekatiesmom (Feb 24, 2009)

yes, thank you. everything is going as well as it can so far. since august 2012 so many things have happened. lost my home in the wildfires, then lost both my mom and dad in the past couple years. my youngest has flown from the nest, new job, etc. i'm still kicking and don't plan on giving up any time soon, just want to make things a little easier. i stop by and peruse the site here now and then to see what's happening. life goes on. hoping you all are all doing well, too.


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## hollym (Feb 18, 2005)

There are many kinds of love. Young people think that fire and drama means it's the real thing. Unhappy relationships can cause one to construct a shopping list of perfect characteristics in a partner. I hope you will be very happy together.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Thanks for the kind thoughts.


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## frogmammy (Dec 8, 2004)

Hey, Bill....they make a shower they call a "roll in" shower. Nothing to step over and VERY easy for a person in a wheelchair. Heck, you'd probably enjoy it too. Anyway, you might want to check it out online...it would make both your and her life easier and simpler.

Mon


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

She has got one without a curb in front, and the water rolls right out onto the floor. She can walk far enough to set on the stool and to get into the shower that has a folding seat on the back side, away from the shower head.


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## mnn2501 (Apr 2, 2008)

FarmboyBill said:


> She has got one without a curb in front, and the water rolls right out onto the floor.


All depends which way the floor slopes.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Or the shower head is turned. It dosnt take much in a wide spread pattern shower head in a turn to run water over the edge and onto the bathroom floor.

Found out most of my doors, her 6 wheeler wont get through.

Also, shes found out she loses her housing allowance, whatever that amounts to, when she leaves.


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## frogmammy (Dec 8, 2004)

Maybe you could charge her rent? Then she might get to keep it.

On the other hand, it might count as income for you.

Mon


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Me and sis asked her if she could get a narrower wheel chair. She said nope, they wouldn't buy her one.
Mammy. Shes not done fanagglein. She and her cronies likely know all the dodges to get around stuff. Well see.


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## ceresone (Oct 7, 2005)

medicade also pays for someone to clean her house, medicare dosent--but medicade does


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Yes, and that someone, ie Nancy and her are like sisters. She sure dosnt do much, far as im concerned. Id keep a cleaner house than X does with her.


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## sisterpine (May 9, 2004)

My own parents divorced and remarried a couple of times, it is not unusual. Americans are quick to call it quits when it gets hard. I am a bit jealous I must admit as I would love to have a nice fella to curl up next to sometimes. I wish you both the very best in your relationship and hope you bring each other smiles.


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

CajunSunshine said:


> Bill, for all the time y'all spend together, and for all that you do for her on a regular basis...I had a good feeling it would end up this way.
> 
> Although, you say you don't "love" her, I can see how it all worked out to be a mutually symbiotic and platonic relationship that seems to suit both of you.
> 
> ...


Considering he always brings her up I am not one tiny bit surprised. Actually I think it is kinda cool. 

Bill, in your heart you will someday have to admit she has always had yours. I know it didn't work out the first time, but even though you split, you still left pieces of your heart with each other. So congrats are in order I believe. 

Enjoy a life that will be filled with conversation, and company. :banana:


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## Sourdough (Dec 28, 2011)

:kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss:


"Love is lovelier the second time around
Just as wonderful with both feet on the ground
It's that second time you hear your love song sung
Makes you think perhaps that love, like youth, is wasted on the young
Love's more comfortable the second time you fall
Like a friendly home the second time you call
Who can say what brought us to this miracle we've found?
There are those who'll bet love comes but once, and yet
I'm oh, so glad we met the second time around
Who can say what brought us to this miracle we've found?
There are those who'll bet love comes but once, and yet
I'm oh, so glad we met the second time around"

:kiss: :kiss: :kiss::kiss::kiss:

*Frank Sinatra â The Second Time Around *


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Well, I sure wont be cuddleing up again, or making whoopee either.


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## Sourdough (Dec 28, 2011)

...............WHAT......your tractor does not love you, now that the ex as moved in..........narrow'minded tractor. Try to cuddle'up with the neighbors tractor, after dark.



FarmboyBill said:


> Well, I sure wont be cuddleing up again, or making whoopee either.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Who said my tractors don't love me. Anytime I get, in the mood, I can get on top any of my tractors, and jump up and down. Theres currently 7 of them, and none seem to get jelous lol


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## Fennick (Apr 16, 2013)

I'm proud of you Bill. Best wishes to both of you.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Boy and DGS and DIL got together with Sis, X and me to play pitch. Sis SIL works in an oil patch and can get bunches of 3in pipe. Shes thinking of bringing it here, and get her SIL to weld up a porch and ramp. Also shes thinking of asking my SIL for metal screens that his and DDs Co make for a floor.
We measured Xs wheel chair and its 32in wide, which will help with door width. 
I bought a gal of white paint to paint the insides of the kitchen cabinets that DD gave me out of the house she lived in before they got the McMansion built. Im going to get the electric wall plug from that house when she shuts the power off to it so as to get the wall plug for the stove from it, the stove that she gave me. Glass top. Shes also giving me the outside AC unit. Someone stole the one that was here. All I have is the pad.
I also bought 6 new florescent bulbs to replace the 4 in the kitchen ceiling, 2 of those, I cant think of their names, but there black, long and have long wires out each end, and a can of spray paint to spray the insides of the lights, and a small can to paint the outside rims that hold the plastic covers over the tubes.. Also got the bolts to hook the dryer cable to the dryer.
Going to a recycle place Monday in Tulsa and see bout getting doors for the door ways that were going to have to widen. ALSO, hopefully, ill find a 100+ft of 220 cable to run a length under the house from front to back so as to be able to use my welder, but first keep it outside the house and run it around to where the porch is going to be welded up. Also need more than that to hook up the HWH to 220, instead of the 110 line that is there now.


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## ceresone (Oct 7, 2005)

you lost me on the metal screens for the floor...


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

vicker said:


> I once new a fellow who's parents had been married 12 times, to each other.
> I think it's great, Bill.



I've always said;
Single people should date single people and married people should date married people and it would be best if they dated the married people they were married to. 

Lol I guess bills going to take that advice and date the married person he WAS married to !


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

C, Think grateing, but not as substantial as you may think, at least from what ive seen they make. I don't think it will work, as I think her combined chair and weight will bow it between cross braces.


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## ceresone (Oct 7, 2005)

gotcha, bill, try cross bracing-and one down the center--they make ramps for trailers out of the kind i'm thinking of--should work


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