# Just Left Public School - 3rd Grade



## AndSoMuchmore (Feb 4, 2012)

I don't think I've posted here before and given any background on my family but I'm not sure that I can cram it all into this post without defeating the purpose of having multiple forums and search features. If something doesn't make sense, just ask. 

My DD is highly intelligent and struggles socially. She's been diagnosed with ADHD and probably has some form of Asperger's (per the pediatrician - testing is out of the question per the insurance.) We have battled with her for 4 years trying to make public schools work for us but after yet another incident, I unenrolled her about a month ago. Since then I have struggled to "homeschool" her because she seems to have lost her ability to think! I've tried different learning styles and different approaches but the bottom line seems to be that she expects constant instructions and feedback. 

We have her in martial arts where she has that kind of coaching and I tried to do some step-by-step cooking instruction but ultimately I feel like public school was a setback for us. She's an only child and I believed that she needed the socialization and structure of school but instead of improving her ability to interact with others (to be fair, she is more of a risk taker now but I'm not sure if that's age related) she only wants to talk about the latest video game, TV show (we don't even watch TV!) or toys. The consumerism bothered me but I knew that she'd pick up bad habits from other kids. The thing that I'm most worried about is her new way of thinking. 

I recently finished my BS and I noticed that a lot of the younger students didn't know how to think independently and the university began requiring that each course had some part that taught critical thinking. I thought that it was because I went to an inexpensive state school but this seems to be a growing phenomenon. My daughter taught herself how to read when she was 4 and taught herself how to use a computer shortly after that. When she was little my philosophy was to leave her alone (in a safe environment) and let her figure things out for herself. I got a lot of flack about being a lazy mother but I don't think that it's normal or healthy for someone to need outside stimulation constantly. Now she asks for specific directions, gets frustrated with open ended questions and doesn't seem to care about what we're "learning" as long as she gives me the correct answer. 

I think that my daughter has a great deal of potential and she's always been advanced but she's going to stall out in adulthood if the extent of her understanding of the world is based on what I know. She has to master critical thinking and be able to navigate social norms even if she doesn't agree with them. I'm not sure how I can teach her that after she's spent this long being rewarded (with constant positive feedback) for memorizing and repeating information. 

It seems like "homeschooling" starts with breakfast and a few short lessons before we're both frustrated and I'm scouring the internet looking for a new way to explain something to her. I have considered "unschooling" but I'm not sure how to reawaken her natural curiosity. 

Anyone have any advice? Similar stories? Successes? Failures? Anything?


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## nostawmama (Dec 29, 2011)

I don't actually frequent the homeschooling forum much even though I do it but I seem to remember somebody commenting that when taking children out of a public school situation that the first thing that you have to do is take a schooling break. By which it was stated that you have to let the natural curiosity of a child get the better of them until they actually learn something on there own *gasp*! I agree 100% on letting a child think and play independently at an early age and I am reaping the rewards because my 4yo (whom is in kindergarten) can play on his own for hours with just a few simple toys. He uses his imagination! I have seen other children need to be constantly entertained because they never were left alone to think/play/learn on there own. I think the first step in readjusting the brain would be to simply observe your DD for a few weeks and really come up with what kind of learner she is and what she is naturally interested in. When you interact with her on other subjects (not school stuff) is she still in need of constant feedback? How does she react to failure- does she take it in stride or does it stress her out? There is a lot of information about the different learning styles online- mine is awesome with worksheets but I have a close friend that struggles because her DD is much more kinesthetic (sp?) learner. She needs a manipulative for everything! Also have a friend that has a DD that is a perfectionist- if it is not exactly right it is a crisis. But how do you explain to a 5 yo that you can't have perfection with out practice! With a lot of patience  When you learn what kinds of things that really interest your DD I would start with that and try to come up with some lessons that relate to her topic of interest. Maybe try not to approach things in a "this is school time" manner but with sort of a conversational approach.

I probably have a lot more suggestions hidden in the back of my mind but I think I should leave the thread open to other people. Lol  Only one last thing (I promise)- if you think that homeschooling is your best option keep trying! Homeschooling is a lot like parenting in general- there are a lot of different approaches, tons of people with good advice and tons that don't have enough common sense to fill a teacup, find something that works for you and DD but don't be afraid to try something new that might work better!


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## rxkeith (Apr 13, 2009)

i have also heard you need to let your child detox after pulling them out of school.

i have a son who is almost 8 yrs old. we unschool. no curriculum, except for a reading book. learn how to read in 100 easy lessons. he likes to play with legos. great learning toys. we pretty much let him learn about things that interest him. we just try to provide the resources to help him learn. libraries are a great help. he became interested in history after watching the horatio hornblower series, and the one about napolean bonaparte. then he became interested in the american presidents after watching the john adams series on dvd. that led to the american presidents series that pbs did some years ago available on dvd from the library. free for a week at a time. now he knows all the presidents by name and number. he knows how they old were when they died. how many were generals (11), and on and on. now he wants to learn different languages, so he goes on the library website. they have a language link with 36 different languages that you can learn to speak. so then he wants to learn where all the countries are so we get him a globe. ok so each country has a flag, so he keeps checking out this flag book from the library. so, my wife makes up this game. she placed a countries flag on the front of an index card, and the name of the country on the back with population, and leader on the back. he can identify 50 countries flag, and population. if we tried to teach him all this we would have probably run into resistance. he learned all this because he wanted to, and found it interesting. 

some kids need structure. others don't. unschooling is working for us. i had difficulty at first accepting that kids want to learn, and felt like we should be doing more traditional schooly stuff.
you could maybe try backing off a bit, and take a break, and try to follow your daughters lead. she will get interested in something.

we know university teachers who complain that their students can't form a thought and put it in writing. its not really the teachers fault. its the curriculum that they are forced to teach. we know a high school science teacher that home schools his 4 children. he tries to work within the system to get the kids thinking, but he is limited in what he can do. 

good luck, and keep us posted. lots of home schoolers here with loads of experience will help out.



keith


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## Sonshine (Jul 27, 2007)

I've homeschooled 2 kids. My DS has been homeschooled since day one. He also has some learning disabilities and does not work independently. He loves computers, so I try to find online programs for him to go along with the bookwork. One of the great things about homeschooling is we can go at the child's pace and if one thing doesn't work, we can try something else. It may just take awhile to find what works for your DD. The other child I homeschooled was not my child, but we got custody of her when she was 14 and her birthmom died of a drug overdose. She had always been in public school, but did not do well. When I first got her she tested at least 2 grades below level. I tried to start her out with a regular curriculumn and she seemed to be doing well, until one day something came up that had been on her test a few days earlier. She got it right on the test, but she did not really learn it. She had been trained to memorize for the test and afterwards she wasn't retaining it. We stopped the curriculum. I sat down with her to find out what things interested her. She was interested in archeology and law enforcement. So, I wrote a thematic unit for her based on her interest. She did an investigation into the death of King Tut. It was amazing to watch her learn how to learn and research. By the end of the school year she was at grade level, although at the lower end of grade level. The next year we went back to the curriculum, and she excelled. She ended up graduating 6 months early and enlisted in the USAF. She scored very high on her tests for the military which ensured her getting into the career field she wanted, Law Enforcement.


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## AndSoMuchmore (Feb 4, 2012)

I think that the break is a good idea. I was at martial arts practice a few minutes ago and heard a mother go on and on about how much she loved the school her kids were in so naturally I asked where this magical school was. It was one that we'd already tried that was NOT great and the rest of the conversation was really awkward. Oh how I wished that I had either kept my mouth shut or she'd have named off a place I'd never heard of. She actually asked how I could AFFORD to homeschool. :grumble:

We live in a wealthy suburb of Dallas and it's hard to exactly pinpoint but there seems to be a lack of reality. I have to be reminded of that sometimes because the perfectionism and fear are MINE. 

I'm going to spend some time observing my daughter and some more time lurking around here for ideas and inspiration. I think I'm going to take some baby steps with homeschooling but I'd love any other tidbits that you have to share. Everything you said seems shockingly based in reality. :goodjob:


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## mpillow (Jan 24, 2003)

definitely un-school for awhile....but don't crowd natural curiosity with too much "stimulation" tv internet video games....

my adopted DD 10 has been hs-ed and VERY limited to TV internet video games and despite her emotional baggage...will spend her "play time" very much in a school frame of mind....she is writing a book about our goats...and revising along the way on her own time....I buy her all the workbooks and how to books she wants....and we go to the library 1-2 days a week....she reads a book a day (on her grade level)...read the Hunger Games in 4 days (trilogy) on her own time....she has lots of outside animal chores and housekeeping chores as well.....needs to be busy/productive or she'll get into trouble...and to gain self-esteem from.

I'm convinced that public school would have deepened her emotional issues...but she does very well at home.


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## nostawmama (Dec 29, 2011)

Sonshine- you are actually who I was referring to in my first post! I forgot where I read it but I remembered reading your post on a different thread .

I can also attest to the "know it for the test and forget it" syndrome. I was exactly that way in school and now is when I actually realize that although I did great in school I haven't retained nearly as much as I could have! My saving grace is that I had a really great teacher show me how find information efficiently. He told me in the world outside of school that it was better to know how to find the info that you need than to trust your memory on the subject and that if I used the knowledge enough then I would know it and trust it.

I too have had awkward conversations with other parents about homeschooling- I feel like I can do a better job teaching my children than public school but don't want to seem like I am looking down on people that choose not too. (b/c I truly don't)


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## AndSoMuchmore (Feb 4, 2012)

It's been a bit since I posted on here and I wanted to update about our progress. 

First, I told my daughter that we weren't doing school and she was a little confused but then I told her that summer break starts early for home school and she was all about it. We don't watch TV and she has a DS but she's limited in the amount of time that she can play it (weekends only) but Dad loads her Nook (can you tell her bio-Dad overcompensates with gadgets?) with books and she can read as much as she wants. She's on book 7 from Harry Potter, so she's read 3 of those books this month. So the interesting part is that she started getting BORED. 

For the first time in months she's playing with her toys (it's important to point out that she went on vacation with her bio-Dad for a week and I cleaned her room top to bottom and tossed out all the unnecessary junk) and using her imagination. She's learning time management and we've decided to toss the ADHD meds (at least for now) and focus on teaching her how to cope with that in the real world. It hasn't been a total success but she's been dressed in her uniform and ready to go to practice early twice already. She's learning to do things without us harping on her and she's actually started asking WHY we do things. 

Then one night DH and I had a texting argument (we try really hard not to argue about ANYTHING where she can hear and this was something minor but he stayed at the office to cool off and was late coming home) this would normally throw her off totally. She started to withdraw and I grabbed a bag of jelly beans (oops ate the Easter candy) and we started playing with them. Multiplied the # of servings by the # of beans per serving. Learned about ratios and decided to do an experiment with two bags to see if the ratio was consistent from bag to bag. Talked for hours about the whole thing. After breaking down the math for her she was really excited about "playing with numbers." I think that being thrown off emotionally had her guard down and she was able to see the fun instead of the math. 

Since then I haven't said anything about it. I've tried to make it a non-issue and gone about doing chores and cleaning the house and putting in the garden. At first she thought that this vacation thing was fantastic but now she's starting to get annoyed. She told me at dinner a couple of nights ago that she had a lot to learn before she grew up. She started asking questions about all sorts of things. I just told her that she could put them in her observation journal and we could research them or that she could look in books and decide what she wanted to learn first. When she's ready. So she decided to wait. We're not "in" school. 

But she's started asking different kinds of questions. "What are dough conditioners? Why are they in the bread?" and "Why does it say honey and oats granola bars when there's no honey in here and what does this word mean?" "Why is everything made in China?"This during a grocery shopping trip. I just tried to answer her questions and told her than when she was ready we'd start school and answer all of those questions. 

Last night at dinner she decided that after my medical stuff was done (I have a sleep study and all the fun that goes with it) she wanted to start learning some stuff again. Just a little bit though. Dad put Open MIT and the Khan Academy on the Roku (an inexpensive little device that I recommend - requires internet access but basically puts the power of which channel you have in your hands and works like a DVR.) She's been watching some stuff on TV, not REALLY learning or anything. Just talking about microbiology and chemistry with the professors at MIT. 

Once she gets over this last little bit of rebellion I think that we're going to get a couple of college text books (we live within biking distance from two major universities so text books that are the previous edition are dirt cheap) so that she has definitions to go with the words that she's hearing and I'm going to learn the higher math and science along with her (Liberal Arts major here and let me say that my STEM skills are limited.)

Sorry for the novel. I am going to start a thread about resources like Open MIT in hopes that others have more to share. 

Oh and THANK YOU to you all for both the encouragement to keep going and "permission" (as goofy as that sounds) to deviate from the standard without guilt.


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## HOTW (Jul 3, 2007)

It sounds like you are doing the right thing I have always felt curiosity will lead you down the path of knowledge and it looks lime your DD is on that path! It is bet if they have a desire to learn I noticed when we enrolled our kids in school a lot of that went down the tubes. I was glad to get them out of the school environment but kckng myself for not doin it sooner!

Let her curiosity lead her and si down withher and explore qnythin she want s to research and let her do the wandering. My son has many aspire qualities and when we pulled the kids from school we couldnt get him toread I let the kids roam the library for 6 months picking what they wanted to read he is now an cexpert on weapons. He took his GED at 17(minimum age for hs'd in nys) and started college and is impessing his teachers with his computer knowledge(his real love) and I have no real idea how he learned so much except he had access to many sites and learned it on his own even DH who works in he filed is impressed with his knowledge and I didn't teach him a thing LOL!

Good luck and let your instinct guide you we parents know q lot more about our kids than the schools will admit!!!!


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## chickenista (Mar 24, 2007)

Most 'schooling' in this house is conversational.
There is not a direct curriculum because we cannot stick to it to save our lives.
We got sidetracked a few weeks ago and spent 3 hours!!! talking about the Dutch East Indies Trading Company.
Amazing stuff.
All about what they did, the powers they had, the impact on other nations, the impact on the world as we know it etc..
We totally forgot to eat lunch.

This happens often and can be prompted by a simple question that he asks.
And I know you don't watch tv, but documentaries are fantastic conversation starters!
DS is free to watch about any documentary that he wants. We get Netflix streaming for that and BBC made a deal with Youtube so that all of their great and wonderful shows are available that way.
He blows me away with the things that he learns from documentaries! I have never met a 9 year old that can give you all the info about the Cold War. Love documentaries!!

And that was what we used to 'De-School" after I pulled him out of public.


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## AndSoMuchmore (Feb 4, 2012)

I didn't know that about the BBC and Youtube. I'm going to have to look into it. We have Netflix and she's been hooked on Myth Busters lately. She's learning all sorts of science that she doesn't realize that she's learning. I started "lesson 1" this week which was being able to care for yourself in this crazy world. We're not talking about food storage or anything, just the basics of being self-motivated to keep her body clean, brush her teeth, eat healthfully, exercise, etc. We're going to work on the transition from doing these things "because the parents told me to" to doing these things "because I need to." It seems like a really simple lesson but when we look at college freshmen we see that they don't have simple "home training" and eat junk and watch TV and don't have any sense of personal responsibility. So, we're doing lesson 1 until she can reasonably and consistently take care of herself. Part of that is time management, basic cooking and nutrition, basic clothing care, etc. 

She's been interested in various topics along the way and when something comes up we answer her questions or have her write them down in her "Observations journal" so that we can research them when we have more time. 

BUT, right now I've focused on finding the life lessons that she's missed. It sounds like we were either slobs or bad parents but we've just been so hurried by the school schedule that it's been easier to make breakfast for her or it's been easier to just do her laundry. No more. I remember how much of a shock it was to move out on my own and have to fill my own fridge, so I'm going to start young and once she is able to care for herself she'll begin learning to care for others (we're taking a dear friend's infant during the day as she's had to return to work after facing some problems.) It seems to me that the root of social problems stems from selfish people who haven't a clue as to how to do the most basic things. Anyway, we're going at our own pace and I'm feeling more confident in my decision. Lesson #2 will be financial literacy (that will have more traditional education wrapped up in it - math, politics, social studies, economics, etc.) My husband and I have settled on the idea that we should teach our daughter the basics of how to be an adult and then pick up academic subjects that will enrich those lessons and help her with college.

We're also gardening, doing martial arts and she loves to read. That's more than she could ever get out of public school. Also, one of her little girlfriends is going to hang out with us this summer (the older sister of the baby) so we'll be going to museums and stuff if it's too hot to function here. More than anything I have found that RELAXING is the easiest way to improve public school. Anyone else?


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

AndSoMuchmore said:


> I don't think I've posted here before and given any background on my family but I'm not sure that I can cram it all into this post without defeating the purpose of having multiple forums and search features. If something doesn't make sense, just ask.
> 
> My DD is highly intelligent and struggles socially. She's been diagnosed with ADHD and probably has some form of Asperger's (per the pediatrician - testing is out of the question per the insurance.) We have battled with her for 4 years trying to make public schools work for us but after yet another incident, I unenrolled her about a month ago. Since then I have struggled to "homeschool" her because she seems to have lost her ability to think! I've tried different learning styles and different approaches *but the bottom line seems to be that she expects constant instructions and feedback*.


I have not read the other replies, but can you be more specific?



> We have her in martial arts where she has that kind of coaching and I tried to do some step-by-step cooking instruction but ultimately I feel like public school was a setback for us. She's an only child and I believed that she needed the socialization and structure of school but instead of improving her ability to interact with others (to be fair, she is more of a risk taker now but I'm not sure if that's age related) she only wants to talk about the latest video game, TV show (we don't even watch TV!) or toys. The consumerism bothered me but I knew that she'd pick up bad habits from other kids. *The thing that I'm most worried about is her new way of thinking *


I pulled my 3 at the end of their 6th, 5th and 3rd grade years. I have NEVER regretted it for one second. They are now 21, 20 and 18 years old, and they are AMAZING people....
Socialization is a load. It's really 'conformation' not socializing. Kids find a 'group' and they conform to it. There are so very few 'individual independent thinkers' in public/private schools. The few there are? They are gems!! But the norm is to conform.



> I recently finished my BS and I noticed that a lot of the younger students didn't know how to think independently and the university began requiring that each course had some part that taught critical thinking. I thought that it was because I went to an inexpensive state school but this seems to be a growing phenomenon. My daughter taught herself how to read when she was 4 and taught herself how to use a computer shortly after that. When she was little my philosophy was to leave her alone (in a safe environment) and let her figure things out for herself. I got a lot of flack about being a lazy mother but I don't think that it's normal or healthy for someone to need outside stimulation constantly. Now she asks for specific directions, gets frustrated with open ended questions and doesn't seem to care about what we're "learning" as long as she gives me the correct answer.


State schools goal is to drain the brain, and then teach the child to follow the leader. Whoever that might be. 
I got a lot of flack for being a 'helicopter' mom.....but the Lord Blessed my children, and Blessed me for taking Him seriously and ignoring what the world says!!



> I think that my daughter has a great deal of potential and she's always been advanced but she's going to stall out in adulthood if the extent of her understanding of the world is based on what I know. *She has to master critical thinking and be able to navigate social norms even if she doesn't agree with them. *I'm not sure how I can teach her that after she's spent this long being rewarded (with constant positive feedback) for memorizing and repeating information.


I am not sure what this means?



> It seems like "homeschooling" starts with breakfast and a few short lessons before we're both frustrated and I'm scouring the internet looking for a new way to explain something to her. I have considered "unschooling" but I'm not sure how to reawaken her natural curiosity.
> 
> Anyone have any advice? Similar stories? Successes? Failures? Anything?


First, HSLDA: Homeschooling Advocates since 1983
Click on your state. It will tell you your laws, your next Annual Home School Convention (I highly recommend), any home school groups. Resources, books, etc. HUGE tons of information on the Home School Legal Defense site.

We started home schooling via Christian Liberty Academy. After 2 years, we went out on our own. We used Abeka, Apologia, and Christian Liberty Press.

When I pulled my kids out of school.....there was not much to 'undo' as I 'undid' every day when they came home. We also took June, July and 1/2 of Aug off for the summer. 

Re-awaken natural curiosity? 
Take away tv, video games, ipod, really any outside stimulant. 
Exchange it for trips to the library, trips to the park, trips to the museum, trips to a botanical garden, trips to conservatory etc. Ask HER questions.....LOTS of questions. Go outside and start a garden. Walk her through the process of seed to harvest, every step of the way....
You will have to invest 100% of yourself in her to re awaken her curiosity.


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## Tracy Rimmer (May 9, 2002)

What you're talking about is deschooling, and it's highly recommended for any child being pulled from "regular" school. Classroom education approaches learning in a different way than homeschooling does, and you have to firmly delineate between the two -- giving the kid a break not only allows them to adjust, but allows them time to recover from any negative perspectives about learning in general they may be carrying. Standard rule of thumb is one month for every year in the system, but some kids will need longer, some will be ready sooner, and you tell when they're ready by their expressing an interest.

Your daughter is now doing that. Congratulations, that's a BIG hurdle to get past.

Present your child with learning opportunities (looks like you and bio-Dad are doing that VERY well), guide her interests, academically, by TALKING to her, and interacting with her. And prepare yourself, because YOU'RE about to get the education YOU never had, as well


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## AndSoMuchmore (Feb 4, 2012)

Laura, 

Sorry it took a bit to get back to you, life has been hectic and I wanted to give you a full reply instead of a quick few sentences. 

1) My daughter spent the first few days at home essentially waiting for marching orders. She just sat at her little desk and asked me what she was supposed to do. I'd give her instructions (like, tell me a few sentences about your weekend - just something to get her going) and she asked "How many sentences is a few? Should I write about the yard work we did? Should I write about seeing my friend? Should I write a title? Should I write in pencil or pen? Should I write...." Then when she started writing it was "Did I do this correctly? Is this a good sentence? Is four sentences enough?" 

What I have since found is that though her ADHD medication did not make her a "zombie" as she obviously was fine at asking questions, it did seems to turn her "off" and she was only following instructions. It frustrated me but my DH was in the Army (there's drama there) and he freaked out. We've taken her off of the medication and that's helped immensely. 

2) You hit the nail on the head there. I'm not sure if I mentioned it (too much to reread) but I have a degree in sociology so I thought that I would be able to direct the flow of *understanding* if I couldn't direct the flow of information. WRONG!

"She has to master critical thinking and be able to navigate social norms even if she doesn't agree with them"

What I meant here is that she has to learn to think for herself and to be independent enough to think things that go against the status quo. I remember when I first started to REALLY think about the world around me and I was so angry and bitter and I was pretty bad about telling anyone who'd listen. While this is how it _should_ be, it just isn't how life works right now. I feel like I'd be doing her a disservice if I didn't teach her how to deal with people who aren't willing to face reality (I'm sure that could be better worded after more coffee.) 

-This sort of delves into our family situation. My husband was in the Army for almost a decade (intended to be a lifer) but after he went to the Middle East he came back with a neurological problem that took years to diagnose. He blacks out if he's jostled. He traded his men for an "other than honorable" discharge when they wanted him to go back to the ME to drive a humvee knowing that he'd black out if they drove over any rough terrain. It's twisted but he was only ever ordered to Kuwait and since he was deployed before the TV said we invaded, they deny that he was ever in combat. It's a mess but the point is that 1) it's only a matter of time before my DH can't work anymore and 2) he's STILL fighting (he was hurt in '03, finally DX in '08) but it's not likely that the VA will ever compensate him 3) I'd planned to work for the gov't in some capacity with my education but that's not looking so good so I'll be going back to grad school so that I can find work as a professor when DH gets too sick. The point is that my daughter will most likely live in a city for most of her life (we'd like a big plot of land but the reality is that I need to be within a reasonable distance of a university) and she has to have the tools to navigate the university system and some sort of employment. *I don't want her to conform but I do want her to learn how to fake it. :/*

We have stepped back and observed, answered a million questions, let her develop her own sleep schedule (10pm-10am) and her own best way to learn (she's an avid reader who prefers pictures to understand more complex concepts) and this Easter we finally asked her if she really thought that a giant rabbit laid eggs on the lawn. She cried because she thought that it meant that she'd never get another egg hunt or stocking or money for her teeth but after a long talk (and Dad's assurances that he'd always spoil her) she seems to be coming to terms with it. She's still on "vacation" but we found a really cool series of "comic books" about stuff like chemistry and she is LOVING them. A little reverse psychology about the comic books and she's PROVING to us that they have REAL chemistry in them. 

I've grown a lot in the few days since my initial post. Education isn't hard, bureaucratic bs is hard and thankfully we live in a place where we don't HAVE to let it rent space in our heads. I just have to unschool myself... ha!


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## Tracy Rimmer (May 9, 2002)

AndSoMuchmore said:


> I've grown a lot in the few days since my initial post. Education isn't hard, bureaucratic bs is hard and thankfully we live in a place where we don't HAVE to let it rent space in our heads. I just have to unschool myself... ha!


Do you know how wonderful it is to see someone come to this conclusion? I'm sitting here all smiles, because SOMEONE, a PARENT, gets it! 

It's not education that is difficult. Education is as natural as breathing. It's what we've done to education by making it a SYSTEM that is difficult!!! 

Yaay, you!!!! Now, go forth and LEARN!!!!


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## AndSoMuchmore (Feb 4, 2012)

The worst part is that I studied society for nearly 10 years and it still didn't click. Maybe someday I'll write a book (that only those who "get it" will read, no doubt) and my fancy degree will validate common sense. HA! 

I love this, btw "I've seen the village, and I don't want it raising my children." Only 26% of the American population goes to college and the implication is that is the smartest 26%. If that's the case we're SCREWED. IJS


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## Sonshine (Jul 27, 2007)

Most of us grew up in public school systems and yes, it's hard to look at education as something different. But in the scope of things, public schooling is a pretty new concept. Public school can't treat the children as the individuals they are, it's just not possible. It's an artificial setting not representing real life in the least. With homeschooling you can teach your child the way that works best for your child.


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## KnowOneSpecial (Sep 12, 2010)

I'd still push the insurance company for the diagnosis. They don't want to do it because once she has a dx they get to pay for services. Don't get a dx and there's no services to pay for. 

You can also call the local universities to see if they have any autism projects or anything that can help your daughter and you. Sometimes a good support group can be a blessing.


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## mom in oklahoma (Nov 25, 2003)

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh Yes!
The insurance battle Am doing one now, did one 7 yrs ago. Finally stopped fighting and just paid the bill(7yrs ago). NOT cheap. This time I was getting notices from the insurance that the services he was getting was not covered, I had gone through them and found a in network therapist, and they still said it was not covered. We have mental health benefits, BUT you need to contact the insurance and find out what it covers. Our son (12yrs) has several diagnosis, adhd being the first at 5 yrs, and more being added, autism being one of them. Kept getting notices that insurance was not paying"not a covered service" I kept calling and finally found that the insurance was being billed for autism, I requested that they be billed under ADHD, still waiting on that one.I have decided though that I was not going to buckle this time
Anyway I know this did not answer the original question:help:
ttyl,
Rea


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## Terri (May 10, 2002)

Andsomuchmore, I would wonder if she is having trouble with her executive function! That is the part of the brain that puts together bits of information and then uses it to help make decisions. My son with Aspergers has this: it was one of the things he was tested for.

An example: the homework question was, did a character in the story like the other character? DS did not know. OK, let's review it. The one character throws rocks at the other character, who starts shouting. Did he like him? "I don't KNOW!"

We talked about it for a bit, and he was still stuck.

"If somebody threw rocks at you, what would you feel"? "It would make me mad." "Would you like him?" Silence. Silence is good: a new thought has occured to him. After letting him think a moment, I ask again if he would like somebody who through rocks at him. "NO! I WOULDN'T! I wouldn't like him one BIT!" 

He finally got it.

After some years of talking DS through the use of his executive function he has gotten a little better at it, but I still worry about him because he is not as good at it as most people.


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