# Looking for love(for the obvious reasons)



## Guest (Feb 27, 2013)

So, this morning, looking at my leftovers, I made this huge breakfast of leftover pinto beans, mashed and shaped like a sausage patty(I put on sunglasses and turned all the lights off so I would actually believe it was sausage) and a mess of scrambled eggs to go with the sausage, singing this little song I wrote:
I like pinto beans for breakfast
My last meal if you're gonna whack us.....

And got to thinking, what on earth will I do with all the fruit and vegetables I raise this year? And come to this partially brilliant notion: All the single women I ever met like to eat. 

Yep, it really is that simple, so I thought. So, I went to one of those fancy pants pay sites and run an ad "Looking for a hungry woman, or else a woman who ain't really all that hungry but has a bunch of kids or grandkids" 

Well, first response I got seemed to imply there was something wrong with me, so I changed it around some. "Sharing guy with big garden wants to give til it hurts" Same thing, like there was something wrong with me. 

Came to "Organic gardener and cook from scratch old grump wants a woman to cook for and give home-grown produce" Well, I shoulda said that in the first place, I reckon, because by 7:00 my mailbox was just a dinging. Several women wanted to know was "take home produce" an euphemism. I don't know, it could be, I don't know. I didn't mean anything other than the exact words I said, though.

Finally, about the time I was ready to go on outside and get busy, I got an interesting response. She was saying "What do you really want?" And I was saying "I really like cooking and it would be nice if I cooked and somebody else would help me eat and maybe we could talk a little. I also want somebody that I can load up with jars of jam and stuff, but I have to get my jars back. And I'd like to give away bags of apples, peaches, strawberries, tomatoes, peppers, and on and on. And eggs. All that." 

And she said, "Is that what you really want, don't you want something else?" And I said "I wouldn't mind telling a joke here and there, or a funny story, because I like to make somebody laugh, or smile" 

And she said "Surely you want more?" 
So. I said "Why don't you just tell me exactly what you have in mind"
And she said "Don't you want the same thing all men want?" 
And I said, "No, I do not want to borrow any money from you, I don't need any, but thank you anyway"
And she said, "Not that. How about sex?"
And I said "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you knew. I am male."
And she said "Don't you want sex?"
Well, I had a bad feeling. First off, once a woman gets a dozen or so jars ahead of you on canned goods, she's as liable to dump you as not. This is a universal truth. A woman will dump you and keep the jars. They like pint jars more than quart jars, too. 
Secondly, the "sex" question. If you say "yes" Within a month it will be "all you care about is sex" like she's the only source for it on earth. And if you say "No" everybody in 30 counties will hear that there's something wrong with you. No matter what, it's the beginning of the end. No reason to deny facts. 

So, thinking fast, I told her, "heck yeah. Look, my computer is about to die, let me give you my name address, and phone number. I may not remember everything we emailed, since I got hit on the head by that whooping crane while saving those eagles, my memory isn't what it used to be? But the government gives me a really fat check every month for being such a eagle saving hero and all that. And we can spend that, too. 
So, I gave her my best friends name, address, and phone number.
I mean, what are friends for?


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Sounds like youve had experiences with women that im glad I havnt LOL


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

I also know what yhour sayhing about sex. When I was younger, in my 50s and had started on/in here, the women thought I was a sex maniac. Now, in my 60s, i can detect the same thing yhou say when i mention that sex, by now, is quite a ways behind other things. I can tell they think im dead, or near it.


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

So whats for lunch?


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## Guest (Feb 27, 2013)

Is that a euphemism?
No matter, no canned anything leaves before those 14 jars of pickled pears. They are in pints, though....


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## starjj (May 2, 2005)

Well obviously women are truely crazy. I for one if a man said he wanted to cook for me, share his produce, and tell me jokes and talk I would be there right quick. Heck if we were so inclined me thinks sex would be an extra bonus. How come there aren't men like that in KY?

The only ones I hear about are example: A former co worker hooked up with this guy. Gave him money, lived with him and yes he cooked and cleaned however he now has turned gay and decided to live with a man instead of her.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

see there. THAT just goes to show ya how a woman can drive a good, cook and bottle washer over the edge lol.


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## frogmammy (Dec 8, 2004)

starjj said:


> ....
> The only ones I hear about are example: A former co worker hooked up with this guy. Gave him money, lived with him and yes he cooked and cleaned however he now has turned gay and decided to live with a man instead of her.


Hopefully she copied his best recipes before he left?

Mon


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

My new bo" placed a huge piece of clear plastic on my bed. When I walk into the room I was so excited, I ran and jumped onto the plastic. My mind was thinking ...Ooooo what does he have in store, could it be whip cream and strawberries?....Ooooo melted chocolate and kiwi?

A few minutes later he walked into the room, and asked why are you laying on the shower curtain that I'm fixin to hang?

Oh.....my bad........LOL!!!!


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

Hey what's a matter man we r gonna come around 12 with some purterican girls that are just dying to meet u! We're gonna bring a case wine! Hey we can mess n fool around like we used to.


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

You really should consider loading up all that produce and taking to your local food bank, and while you are at it volunteer at said food bank. No, you will not find and take home a winner but you will have done something to help others which will give you a really good feeling all while socializing and talking with others. Its a win win.


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## bstuart29 (Jul 11, 2006)

starjj said:


> Well obviously women are truely crazy. I for one if a man said he wanted to cook for me, share his produce, and tell me jokes and talk I would be there right quick. Heck if we were so inclined me thinks sex would be an extra bonus. How come there aren't men like that in KY?
> 
> The only ones I hear about are example: A former co worker hooked up with this guy. Gave him money, lived with him and yes he cooked and cleaned however he now has turned gay and decided to live with a man instead of her.


There are still some of us that enjoy cooking and cooking for a woman yes I'm sure finding one isn't easy but we are out there Some of us aren't just after sex but many men have make us all appear that we all are.


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## bstuart29 (Jul 11, 2006)

cindilu said:


> You really should consider loading up all that produce and taking to your local food bank, and while you are at it volunteer at said food bank. No, you will not find and take home a winner but you will have done something to help others which will give you a really good feeling all while socializing and talking with others. Its a win win.


I agree with giving to food banks but someone was saying many food banks won't take much produce anymore.


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## Guest (Feb 27, 2013)

Are you fully aware of the laws in NC concerning food banks and non-USDA inspected foods?


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

zong said:


> Are you fully aware of the laws in NC concerning food banks and non-USDA inspected foods?


Hey what goes on in the bedroom stays in the bedroom, unless you start in the living or kitchen....LOL


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## starjj (May 2, 2005)

frogmammy said:


> Hopefully she copied his best recipes before he left?
> 
> Mon


Good thing I was drinking anything when I read this. I would have had to wipe down my monitor LOL. Thanks for the chuckle.


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## starjj (May 2, 2005)

zong said:


> Are you fully aware of the laws in NC concerning food banks and non-USDA inspected foods?


Yep The Amish aren't allowed anymore to sell at the town flea market because their kitchens aren't state inspected.


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## Guest (Feb 27, 2013)

You know, I've always thought that people that worked for money should take about 80% of what they make, with their 80 hours a week of work, and load it up and take it down to the end of the paved road and dump it in my front yard. WIN-WIN for everybody, all around. Folks would be doing something good for somebody and all that.

It don't really sound like all that good an idea coming from the other side of the fence, does it?


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

I am not aware of the laws so I cannot help you there but I do know in Oregon they have something that is called Gleaners and they are people that go to the local orchards, pick and bring them to the food banks. Here in my town we have a lot of orchards where you can pay to pick. It is kinda a Roseburg trendy thing.


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## Guest (Feb 27, 2013)

Here, in the summertime, when people go to church, they lock the car doors, cause if they don't, when they get out of church the whole back seat of the car will be filled with tomatoes, cucumbers, squash, eggs, and so on. Greensboro, which is a hundred mile round trip, is an actual city where they don't have that problem. Hillsborough, 52 mile round trip is where many of the people who work at UNC and Duke live, and you can get a super premium price for stuff selling at the farmers market there, especially if you have different and unusual stuff. However, my ability to explain 900 times in a row why these tomatoes are blue and these other ones are yellow has been severely compromised by decades of explaining stuff to children. I was asked to leave the Farmers market when I looked at the 901st person who asked me "Why?" and said, "Cause Daddy says so. Now, go to bed"


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

Zong are u saying that u like to wrk n grow that stuff for someone special to u an would like to see the pleasure they get from eating the food that u wrked to grow. An u don't want to give it to a bunch of people most of which have just as much free time as u but choose to spend it in other endevors? U know u can write of the gas u use to donate your time an produce. This is a separate tanjent but what do homeless people do all day? I know that's very insensitive ? But I'm serious! If I was homeless or unemployed I have no idea what I would do all day.


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## SimplerTimez (Jan 20, 2008)

zong said:


> . I also want somebody that I can load up with jars of jam and stuff, but I have to get my jars back. And I'd like to give away bags of apples, peaches, strawberries, tomatoes, peppers, and on and on. And eggs. All that."


Will send empty canning jars if you will fill with food, lol. No place to can in my little place, but have lots of canning jars back on the farm  And you don't even have to put up with my presence!!!

~ST (who dearly misses canning)


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## DKWunlimited (Sep 11, 2006)

zong said:


> Here, in the summertime, when people go to church, they lock the car doors, cause if they don't, when they get out of church the whole back seat of the car will be filled with tomatoes, cucumbers, squash, eggs, and so on. Greensboro, which is a hundred mile round trip, is an actual city where they don't have that problem. Hillsborough, 52 mile round trip is where many of the people who work at UNC and Duke live, and you can get a super premium price for stuff selling at the farmers market there, especially if you have different and unusual stuff. However, my ability to explain 900 times in a row why these tomatoes are blue and these other ones are yellow has been severely compromised by decades of explaining stuff to children. I was asked to leave the Farmers market when I looked at the 901st person who asked me "Why?" and said, "Cause Daddy says so. Now, go to bed"


If only you lived in Alaska. I'd be there in a heartbeat!


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## tentance (Aug 16, 2012)

i wish you were down here. you would be perfect for my mom. she's always slaving to support some loser who takes advantage of her. he does cook, but not well, and he doesn't even garden! 
also, that's sad that you mentioned produce, and people thought it was a euphemism. morons.


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## mickm (Jul 23, 2010)

well if women actually enjoyed sex, it wouldnt be so odd to them that men do!:nana:


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

U Right again Mick


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## frogmammy (Dec 8, 2004)

mickm said:


> well if women actually enjoyed sex, it wouldnt be so odd to them that men do!:nana:


Well, women DO enjoy sex. What is odd to them is the stupidity men will endure, and promote, for it. They are also amazed at the number of men who simply CANNOT see a mile high pile of bull-hockey and still step into it with a grateful smile.

Mon


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

I think there are a great many women AND men who DONT enjoy sex. I think that women from a young age onward realize they need to give it to achieve whatever it is they need/want out of men, and men dont realize it till there way into middle age or old that they need it for release of buildup/pressure. As an aside, I think that women quickly learn that it dosent matter too much what they look like, to still enable them to use sex as a prod to get done what there wanting done by men.


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## andiplus8 (Nov 6, 2009)

mickm said:


> well if women actually enjoyed sex, it wouldnt be so odd to them that men do!:nana:


It's not the sex women don't enjoy...sometimes it's the man they're with......


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

MOST women CREATE the man there with by becomeing the woman they are when haveing sex.

How many men would let themselves go to a couch potato IF they were STILL haveing sex with the look of the woman they first met. AND, I dont mean age wise. We all age.

IF a man had somehow snagged the attention of Angelina jolie? Do you think for a minute he wouldnt be thinking of his looks, always trying to make sure he looked as handsome as possible. KNOW WHY? He KNOWS, that IF she ever looks around, shell see a hundred other guys trying to look their best in the hopes of becomeing the next she casts her attention on.

The moment a woman lets go of the notion that her looks account anymore, is the moment a man does also. AND it causes the same effect.


It may not be the sex men dont enjoy, as much as the woman there haveing it with


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## andiplus8 (Nov 6, 2009)

FarmboyBill said:


> MOST women CREATE the man there with by becomeing the woman they are when haveing sex.
> 
> How many men would let themselves go to a couch potato IF they were STILL haveing sex with the look of the woman they first met. AND, I dont mean age wise. We all age.
> 
> ...


Agreed! But my comment had nothing to do with looks....


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

The same with thoughts and emotions. I think a man thinks somewhat more about those things concerning a woman then visa versa. A man KNOWS that he isnt likely looking like Elvis or Kookie Barnes, SO, IF they snag the attentions of a GOOD looking woman THEY KNOW, that IF they think there looks arent as the 2 mentioned above, that they can augment that with care and thoughtfulness and money. Whatever works. IF they got the money they care less about care and thoughtfulness. IF they dont have the bucks, Care and thoughtfulness is all they got. Women think about it lerss, if good looking, cause they just dont really have to.

Do you think a guy wants to end up inna bar crying in his beer, and when asked why he tells them that he had been with the greatest looking woman in town or wherever. When they asked what happened, and he has to tell them that she said that the breakup was because she thought that he wasnt as interested, as thoughtful, as careing as she wanted in a man.

NOW, IF a woman lets herself go, and the above happens, then he more or less understands, and dosent care what the reason was, He was likely feeling the same about her also.


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## doodlemom (Apr 4, 2006)

Life is full of dreams of purple beans, but once canned alas the beans are green like all the other beans and one is left to dream another dream.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

yup, that says alot too/


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## Warwalk (May 25, 2011)

I'm still 40 going on 16 in that department. Still, if I walked into a room and the bed was covered with plastic, my first thoughts wouldn't be nookie... I'd be shkeered to death! (too many mob movies I think


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## Guest (Mar 1, 2013)

No kidding, I'd be looking for a guy with a baseball bat, or Hannibal Lecter or something. "With or without entrails? Without, I think..."

Which reminds me to get out those purple pole bean seeds from last year. Man, they were productive, kept on til frost hit them. 

I joined a kids joke site, I get a couple kids jokes in the mail every morning. Check this one
Mr Banana Peel came home and ask his wife Mrs Peel, "What's for supper?" 
"Supper?" she said "It completely slipped my mind. Wanna go out?"
Sure, he said. Let's split"

I'm spending the day turning in lime and chicken manure. And feeling insecure.

If Nestling is like crunching, I'm in


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## mickm (Jul 23, 2010)

Ladies, i was only being facetious, on my last comment.

I tried an online dating site shortly after my divorce, and had several conversations similar to Zong's.. Seemed like all the women said, all that men want is sex. pr oblem was, most women (on that site) could not understand a guy that wasnt just after sex.

I know now, but at the time, it seemed odd.


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## Guest (Mar 1, 2013)

Watch out what you want for. That's how my spiritual adviser Bro. Human(not to be confused with Nabakov's sad "Humbert Humbert", a mistake that nearly everybody makes)
found out that his own beguiling Goody Twoshoes was really Baddy Nopants, pretending. But, of course, that is a story for another day.


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## andiplus8 (Nov 6, 2009)

mickm said:


> Ladies, i was only being facetious, on my last comment.
> 
> I tried an online dating site shortly after my divorce, and had several conversations similar to Zong's.. Seemed like all the women said, all that men want is sex. pr oblem was, most women (on that site) could not understand a guy that wasnt just after sex.
> 
> I know now, but at the time, it seemed odd.


ONLINE DATING?!?!?! I tried that for about 3 weeks....._THOSE_ guys only wanted sex.... :hysterical:


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

andiplus8 said:


> ONLINE DATING?!?!?! I tried that for about 3 weeks....._THOSE_ guys only wanted sex.... :hysterical:


I have to agree with that statement. And the guys that you finally did meet turned out to be jerks, or have DUII's, no job and nothing going for them. Pass, I think I will pass.


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## SimplerTimez (Jan 20, 2008)

cindilu said:


> I have to agree with that statement. And the guys that you finally did meet turned out to be jerks, or have DUII's, no job and nothing going for them. Pass, I think I will pass.


Yup. Same experience here with the online dating horror. Plus, no homesteaders here in the middle of strip mall hell down here. I get askance looks when I talk about loving to garden for food, or living without neighbors (translates to others as miles away from the closest WalMart :runforhills 

Maybe when I get back out in the country I'll have better luck. In the interim, I'm happy on my own. Becoming a widow is far different than a divorce, and I think time will only work good things in that regard. Men in the country are cut from a far better cloth in my limited experience opinion. Even the neighbors we had when I was happily married were just of a different ilk; good people, folks I trusted when I was alone and he traveled.

I figure as long as all of us here are happy with ourselves, the rest will work itself out in time (or at least that's my hope!)

Happy March 1st all!

~ST


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## sidepasser (May 10, 2002)

Sounds like you folks need a better dating website - lol..
I found my DH through an online dating site..and the men I dated through there were very nice. I was pretty direct in my advert though..looking for a long time, not just a good time!


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

I have good friends that met their special other person through dating sites so I know they are not all that bad. And I also know they are happily married. Right now my mind is not on dating however. It is on getting the land I have picked out, going to school to get my ECE degree and starting a school on said property. So until I have that accomplished looking at men is not even going to happen.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Looking at men is not going to happen. Ill bet those are somma womens famious last words. I dont say that

I LIKES TA LOOK lol


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Looking Bill gets you into trouble. Right now I don't even have time to look much less act on the whole getting to know them. 

12 hour work days and class at night doesn't give much time for fun, or any thing else for that matter.


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## JohnnyLee (Feb 13, 2011)

Ha Ha! 

[youtube]E84TRifSmd4[/youtube]


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Nah, I like to look. Too old to catch anything im looking at, cause anythikng im looking at is way younger than me which makes them too fast to catch. Also, Me being invisable to them, They dont even see me looking.


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## sherry in Maine (Nov 22, 2007)

FBB, you made me laugh.....do you think many on here know who Kookie Barnes is?

(well, there's probably a few....)


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## SimplerTimez (Jan 20, 2008)

sidepasser said:


> Sounds like you folks need a better dating website - lol..
> I found my DH through an online dating site..and the men I dated through there were very nice. I was pretty direct in my advert though..looking for a long time, not just a good time!


I concur  I think it also has to do with where you are located. I'm in an urban seaside area with a lot of early retirees. They are freshly divorced with different goals than I. But you don't really know that until you sit down and talk to someone. Unless one is a pure cad, most profiles look quite similar - all nice guys, yadda yadda.

I refined my ad after the first week of weirdness to exclude specific things I didn't realize needed to be said. I think I need dating training wheels it's been so long, LOL! I've since taken it down and figure maybe I should wait a while.

~ST


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## andiplus8 (Nov 6, 2009)

SimplerTimez said:


> I concur  I think it also has to do with where you are located. I'm in an urban seaside area with a lot of early retirees. They are freshly divorced with different goals than I. But you don't really know that until you sit down and talk to someone. Unless one is a pure cad, most profiles look quite similar - all nice guys, yadda yadda.
> 
> I refined my ad after the first week of weirdness to exclude specific things I didn't realize needed to be said. I think I need dating training wheels it's been so long, LOL! I've since taken it down and figure maybe I should wait a while.
> 
> ~ST


LOL I like that... dating training wheels... I think I need those too. I too took my profile down. It was just too much weirdness. And you're right, who knew you actually had to specify some things that should be common sense. I think maybe there is just a lack of common sense out there anymore. Must have run out of stock at walmart.....


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

on WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY back order lol


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## SimplerTimez (Jan 20, 2008)

andiplus8 said:


> LOL I like that... dating training wheels... I think I need those too. I too took my profile down. It was just too much weirdness. And you're right, who knew you actually had to specify some things that should be common sense. I think maybe there is just a lack of common sense out there anymore. Must have run out of stock at walmart.....


Or maybe a book "Dating for Dummies" might suit me better, while riding my dating bike with training wheels  :l33t:

Either I have changed a lot, or people have changed a lot, or dating has changed a lot - probably a confluence of all of the above. 

I simply count it as another experience that I had, which left me with some take-aways of wisdom.

~ST


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