# Think Twice Before You Give the Kids a Piece of the Farm



## Fishindude (May 19, 2015)

Have a little situation at a neighbors place that I've seen over and over. Mom has a big farm, cuts out 5-10 acres for a son, they build a house and have lived there a long time. Cuts out another 5-10 acres for the daughter and spouse, they build a house and have lived there a long time. Now Mom is going into nursing home so one of the kids is moving into her home and selling their home. End result, they will now have a stranger owning a piece of the farm. Who knows what kind of neighbor they will wind up to be?

Have seen this situation unfold over and over all around. Divorces are also a big factor in this. Nice farms that one generation worked hard to build and keep in one piece get all pieced up with additional houses added and pretty soon it is complete strangers on the home place. 

If this kind of thing concerns us, we should probably put some covenants in the sale to a child, that if they ever intend to leave and sell, remaining family gets first crack at buying and keeping the place at a very low and reasonable price.


----------



## painterswife (Jun 7, 2004)

Putting it in a trust with conditions might work better.

I however am one of those people that don't understand why one generation thinks it is okay to make conditions for the next generation. I can understand conditions about age so that young kids can't sell or lose the family farm because of naivety. If the next generation loves the farm they will work it but to force them to pass it on or sell it cheap is too controlling for me.


----------



## TnAndy (Sep 15, 2005)

We solved those issues by not having kids. 

That, of course, does bring of the issue of what to do with this places when we're gone !


----------



## po boy (Jul 12, 2010)

TnAndy said:


> We solved those issues by not having kids.
> 
> That, of course, does bring of the issue of what to do with this places when we're gone !


I am up for adoption


----------



## secondhandacres (Nov 6, 2017)

I get the whole family tradition of farming thing and a piece of dirt being sentimental. But everything I own when my wife and I die will become my kids to do whatever they see fit with no strings attached. Times change, people change. I have no interest in hand cuffing the next generation to anything I own. 

The best thing I can pass down to my kids is tradition, a work ethic and of course whatever wealth I have accumulated. They get to decide what’s best once I’m gone. I’m not worried about them squandering it away, I have taught them better.


----------



## Danaus29 (Sep 12, 2005)

You can't keep it forever and you can't really dictate what you want done with your property after you're gone. We didn't get a chance to buy my grandparents farm and the new owners are letting the buildings fall apart and have torn down the house. Sad but there is nothing you can do. Your heirs have to live their lives as they see fit.

We own 3 properties and do not intend to leave any of them to our children. Hubby has finally realized it will take him longer to eliminate all his accumulations than it did to accumulate them. We are trying to downsize now because we know the kids will rent a dumpster and toss everything, even sentimental items that have been passed down for a few generations. To them it's just "stuff".


----------



## Alice In TX/MO (May 10, 2002)

A friend gave an acre to a step daughter. She put a double wide on it and the land was collateral. Her mom passed away, she became a drug user, and the property went to the loan company. My friend had to pay over $110,000 to recover the property and $25,000 or so for repairs. 

His biological son lives on the family place, but doesn’t have a deed. He lives in squalor. He is also a drug user. 

Sometimes not having children or step children would be better.


----------



## CKelly78z (Jul 16, 2017)

My parents are 78 years old, and trying to give me some of their old stuff (furniture, momentos, old books, games, clothes)....sorry, I already have everything I want, and I encourage them to spend more now, and enjoy, rather than a nursing home eating it all up, or losing a huge chunk to probate, and taxes.


----------



## hiddensprings (Aug 6, 2009)

I've seen this many times and am sure I will see it many more. We have no expectations on whatever property we have when we die. Our two sons will inherit and they can do what they want. Selling the family farm when the kids no longer want it or dividing it up and selling off pieces is really no different then parents who have a home in an area of the country you have no intention of living.


----------



## Michael W. Smith (Jun 2, 2002)

I see how it happens. As the kids grow up and get married, their parents want to "help them out" so give them a few acres, the new couple build a house. Multiply the couple of acres by however many kids - and the farm is getting smaller.

The problem happens when Son # 1 has several kids of their owns and decides they need a bigger house. The house goes up for sale and the siblings and parents now have strangers for neighbors.

OR

Son # 1 and the wife get divorced. The Daughter-In-Law hires a great lawyer and she ends up with the house. The parents and siblings are now left living with their daughter-in-law or sister-in-law (that they now can't stand) living beside them or daughter-in-law sells the home to new strangers.

You can't really put restrictions on it. No matter what you think of, that could happen and how to solves that problem - something else will happen that was never thought of.

As for the "farm" - once the parents quit farming - many times none of the kids aren't interested in continuing to farm. It's too hard of work, not enough money, the animals stink too much . . . . . . . . . Eventually when the parents pass away, the parents house may be so run down, that the kids do nothing with it. Their childhood home then eventually falls down - along with the barn and out buildings. OR The parents die and the siblings start to fight over the parents house. The oldest daughter thinks her kid should get the house while the middle kid thinks their oldest son should get the house. Fighting ensues - the kids refuse to sign off on the house - and it eventually falls down. Meanwhile, the siblings now live within sight of each other's houses and can't stand each other now - with each sibling "waving" their middle finger anytime they spot their sibling.

At least my wife and I only had one kid - so there is no fighting on who gets what. Problem is I doubt our kid is going to live around here. Once we are gone - it's up to him to do what he wants with our properties. While I would like to see him continue to live on my wife's family farm as several generations have - if he already lives elsewhere, I don't think he is going to move back here, uproot his family (if he has one by then) and try to find a job while leaving his friends behind in another area.


----------



## GTX63 (Dec 13, 2016)

My mother in law has a neighbor lady who died about 15 years ago. She had two sons and a daughter.
NO WILL!
One son was a cabinent maker who used the garage for his shop and business, but lived elsewhere.
One son wanted the property sold and liquidated.
The daughter wanted to move in and pay rent to the other two.

No one could agree so the oldest son (the cabinet man) decided the house would set. So it does. 
He keeps his enclosed trailer in front of the garage and continues to work inside.
The house is beginning to fall in. The fields haven't been cut in a dozen years.


----------



## GTX63 (Dec 13, 2016)

I also knew of a farmer who had maybe 1000 acres.
He had a son who married a decent woman and they had three kids. The son fell in with a bad crowd and became hooked on meth. He burned thru all of his chances with his wife and she divorced him. He lost his kids, his marriage, his job, his home, his teeth, everything. He was so hooked he had to be locked inside his bedroom by his parents to keep him from sneaking out at night and he was in his mid 30s.
So, trying to be compassionate and "wise" his father cut out a 1 acre parcel of land in the middle of a field, literally a half mile from the road, had the parcel recorded and signed over to the son, and built him a small home.
A year later, unbeknownst to the dad, the house was foreclosed. The son had found a lender to mortage the property and spent the money on drugs. He found out after it had sold at auction.
The buyers came out to the property to find the son living in a tent in the field next to the house, with a washer, dryer, refrigerator, and all his personals sitting in the crop rows.
Why did someone want to buy a postage stamp lot in the middle of a farmer's field? Because they were investors who knew the farmer would pay a premium to buy the land back.


----------



## Seth (Dec 3, 2012)

It's an old tale. Girl I went to school with was given 5 acres by her grandad so she could live there and take care of him in his older years, she's a spoiled turd and always has been. She and hubby lived WAY outside their means and the land and house was foreclosed on. Granddad paid the note and gave it to them again. They mortgaged it to pay off other debt, cars, boat, credit cards, ATV, and some nice vacations overseas. Bank foreclosed, grandad bailed them out. They mortgaged it again and then divorced, she wanted grandad to do it again, but he was broke by then, so now he has strangers living right across his back yard.


----------



## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

The problem I’ve seen in a lot of farm succession is the older generation waiting too long to give the property to the younger generation. 
The best plan seems to be for the older generation to handover the rains to farm operations when the child Is about 30 And pass ownership of the land when the child is about 40. 
Of course by that time There should be a grand child acting responsibly for a person of their age involved in the farm. 
Of course most seem to want to control the farm until they have been in the grave for a couple generations


----------



## Ziptie (May 16, 2013)

I agree with AmericanStand. Too many times family members want to give furniture and stuff, but not when your starting out and you need it. So, you have to buy your own stuff then after you have it later then they want to pass on the items. I don't want double I bought what I wanted. Another problem I have seen is they give you the items but your not supposed to really use them because they are antiques. You're just supposed to store them and once every twenty years pull it out to look at it. After a couple generations on both sides of the family that is a lot of stuff just to store.


----------



## Bungiex88 (Jan 2, 2016)

Easy fix. Don’t break up a farm


----------



## painterswife (Jun 7, 2004)

The reasons people break off land is because of mortgages and building regulations. Building on land you don't own means no mortgage. Many land regulations don't allow multiple homes either. Putting everything in a trust also means no mortgage to build. I would not build on land I don't own either. One sibling could take your home when the parents pass if you could build with no mortgage.


----------



## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

Bungiex88 said:


> Easy fix. Don’t break up a farm


Traditionally in some cultures the farm goes to the oldest son. But so does the responsibility for taking care of the rest of the family.


----------



## TripleD (Feb 12, 2011)

Bungiex88 said:


> Easy fix. Don’t break up a farm


A real easy fix is to buy out the ones wanting to sell....


----------



## secuono (Sep 28, 2011)

It's nice when the kids care about their section of land.
Not so with the poor dead guy that used to own everything around here & made my house by hand.
He gave the house to his kid, kid ruined it. Worthless "butmay" company screwed us (strangers) when we got it. When guy died, rest of family listed lots of what he had left available to family/neighbors first, except terribly over priced. They only care about the $$$.


----------



## D-BOONE (Feb 9, 2016)

Best solution is just dont die then you dont have to pass on anything


----------



## birdman1 (Oct 3, 2011)

i think you can give it but keep a lifetime intrest .


----------



## Fishindude (May 19, 2015)

Farm next door to me started out as one place, 40 acres with a single farm house. Due to sales to kids, divorces and various poor decisions it got cut up and sold and there are now (3) crummy little modular houses along the road and the old farm house is gone. 

As the families blew up; divorces, bankruptcy's, etc. I was in position to acquire the majority of the farm ground and own approx. 37 acres of the original 40 now. Only one of the houses is occupied by an heir of the original owner. Made a nice addition to our place but the neighborhood would be nicer without the added houses along the road.


----------



## GTX63 (Dec 13, 2016)

I have had several neighbors in different locations over the years tell me they regretting not buying the land around/across/behind them. They were either young and poor, and/or never saw ahead the problems of developers, bad neighbors or the skyrocketing costs of land.


----------

