# Tacky?



## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

I just received an alimony check written by the other woman from my ex's account....including her signing his signature.

Anyone else think this is tacky?


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

I would focus on the positive....you are getting some money. (l never got a dime from my ex husband and l had 2 young children to support)
Less money for her to spend!!!


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

That is exactly what I told my room-mate yet it burns my butt.....


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

Yes, it is tacky.


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

Thanks it is nice to be validated.


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## dkhern (Nov 30, 2012)

tackey? yes. hope it doesnt bounce. good luck


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

Might be illegal too,,

Tacky,,,,No,,,Childish, disgusting,,& completely disrespectful, YES....


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

Yep that is how I viewed it L.A. ....it is tricky enough to know she is living in the only real home I ever knew...but this just seems like another stab.


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## doingitmyself (Jul 30, 2013)

Girlfriend, you got to put this thing in 4 wheel drive high and just laugh. 'cause you got the money, and she's your [] for having to write the check to you!! LOLOLOL :icecream:

Honestly, just laugh it off, as you are obviously on her mind to do such a childish thing. You should get a "for deposit only" stamp and just stamp it instead of signing the back, just like its business as usual!! That would really get her goat!!! HHAHAH:icecream:


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## rkintn (Dec 12, 2002)

Letting it get to you let's her and him win. A year from now it won't matter. What's that saying? "Fake it til ya make it!" Pretend it doesn't matter, put a smile in your face and spend the h e double hockey sticks outta that money. . (Yes it was tacky but I'm guessing she's probably the dadgum queen of tacky).


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## Guest (Dec 30, 2013)

why would you care so much? seriously...that woman THINKS your ex is all that and a bag of chips..it's more likely that it's her money in his account..I'd encourage you to feel sorry for her..imagine how she feels just making out the check to you..and then go about your new life with a HUGE smile on your face..happiness IS the best revenge


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## whiterock (Mar 26, 2003)

May irritate her more to write it than it does you to get it. Cash it at his bank, don't deposit it in yours, just in case, lol.


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## Fair Light (Oct 13, 2010)

Yes its definately tacky...it was done deliberately to "get ya"..it was a "jab".....Ive gotten those too..only she would actually sign "her" name....from their joint account...you will just have to learn to blow it off...she got him... but you got your freedom from him...you win...she looses..:heh:....remember...she is with a cheater...you aren't...and cheaters cheat...they deserve each other...


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

Thanks folks :thumb: I knew I would get some comfort, laughs and perspective here...you guys are the best! Much appreciated.


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## Ardie/WI (May 10, 2002)

A wee bit tacky...yes, BUT consider the source!


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## Oxankle (Jun 20, 2003)

Roadless:
No, it may sting a bit, but it is NOT tacky. If the other woman has him under control, has control of the purse strings and is responsible enough to send you the child support when it is due you should thank her. It may even be HER money you are getting---you really don't know who put the money in the bank.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

My 3rd X usta pay the bills, when she paid them. She also wrote the checks to X#2 for CS, and I got [cussed] every time she did it, when she did do it.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

Remember Roadless, she won the Booby Prize and has to pay you for him. Smile, chuckle and keep walking. Let it put a spring in your steps.


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

Oxankle said:


> Roadless:
> No, it may sting a bit, but it is NOT tacky. If the other woman has him under control, has control of the purse strings and is responsible enough to send you the child support when it is due you should thank her. It may even be HER money you are getting---you really don't know who put the money in the bank.



I do pray for her....I was taught to pray for those I have an issue with and I do.....but I am far from thanking her. In this case I do know who put the money in the bank. She certainly had a rise in the standard of living when she hooked up with my ex.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

I do not think it is tacky. I guess from their perspective, or at least his, you are old news. Depends on the details though, and without knowing their side of the story I do not know if it is truly tacky or not.


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

It is true City Bound that from their perspective I am "old news"....and I am just being to sensitive. This is just another incident of having to come to terms with what is.


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

roadless said:


> I just received an alimony check written by the other woman from my ex's account....including her signing his signature.
> 
> Anyone else think this is tacky?


I think its intentional, and mean spirited.
It will come back to them...I promise.

My state, does not have alimony.


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

I agree Laura Zone 5 but so was their affair!
I just gotta deposit the checks and move forward shaking the dust off my feet

I just have to learn to laugh rather than be hurt....you folks are right .


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

roadless said:


> It is true City Bound that from their perspective I am "old news"....and I am just being to sensitive. This is just another incident of having to come to terms with what is.


Heck, I know it hurt roadless. I know it hurts real bad. It is like that song "Breaking up is hard to do". You loved him for a very long time and he was part of the foundation of your heart, your family, and life, so starting a new life without him is going to take change, pain, and a lot of mindful effort.


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

So true City Bound, many, many adjustments.


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

Here's what I find interesting.......

She forged his signature on your alimony check, so you would have to see HER handwriting?
Why?
Is she trying to 'convince you' that her and your ex are "solid"?
Or is she trying to convince herself?

This move screams, insecurity.

Are they really THAT cruel?
And if so, (trust me, I KNOW this feeling)...why? For what purpose?
Let me stop here and say "STOP". DO NOT sit around and think on this.
Give it a thought, then move on. Please, do not get stuck in a rut...it's a life stealer.

She is the other woman.
She HAS to know that SHE can also, be replaced.....and the 'new' ho de jour WILL treat her, the same way....maybe even worse?
Why?
Because there is one constant in this......a heartless ex-husband.

They are either sick and twisted sociopaths that deserve each other.
Or there is trouble, in paradise.

Either way....laugh all the way to the bank.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

I think taking the money he gives, even if it is just a little, and premeditatedly using the money with constructive and positive intentions could help to heal and transform the poison. Giving a small portion to charity, even if it is just a couple of dollars, would help to evoke and awaken the compassion in your heart, and it also will bring compassion back your way because opening the door to give with compassion also opens the door to receive compassion. Maybe take the kids out for a burger once a month with the money, that would generate a monthly routine that fosters family time where you and the kids could talk and enjoy each other's warmth and fellowship.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Laura read this, it makes a lot of sense.



Oxankle said:


> Roadless:
> No, it may sting a bit, but it is NOT tacky. If the other woman has him under control, has control of the purse strings and is responsible enough to send you the child support when it is due you should thank her. It may even be HER money you are getting---you really don't know who put the money in the bank.


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

I will never understand their behavior and it is not useful for me to try. What I do know is that neither one of them are who I thought they were.

My job now is to learn how to trust myself, that what I perceive from others is real and true or not. I use to take folks at face value and trust my instincts. Now I have this secondary conversation in my head when I am talking to others....I don't like it. It is draining.


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

> Laura read this, it makes a lot of sense.



It is another POV, I agree.... However, any woman who will stoop so low as to 'date' or 'be with' a married man? Sorry, she gets NO benefit of the doubt in my book.


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

For the record it is not child support, our children are grown. Thank God.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Laura Zone 5 said:


> It is another POV, I agree.... However, any woman who will stoop so low as to 'date' or 'be with' a married man? Sorry, she gets NO benefit of the doubt in my book.


 
His pov has a lot of wisdom and merit to it. I will assume you mean well, but it seems to me that your POV will just fan the flames of her pain and anger and that is exactly what she does not need in her life right now. She is trying to pick up the pieces and make a new and better life. Anger is just an obstacle.


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

City Bound said:


> His pov has a lot of wisdom and merit to it. I will assume you mean well, but it seems to me that your POV will just fan the flames of her pain and anger and that is exactly what she does not need in her life right now. She is trying to pick up the pieces and make a new and better life. Anger is just an obstacle.


I'm pretty sure you are the one with the fan....

just sayin'.

Re-read what I commented, slowly, and you will see how far your comment is off base.....


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

I hear what you are saying citybound, yet the loss of a marriage I am told is like a death.
Anger is part of the process along with denial, bargaining, depression then finally acceptance.

At times anger can be helpful in getting beyond the pain but I certainly don't want to get suck at any stage other than acceptance.


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## NoClue (Jan 22, 2007)

I don't know you or your ex, or anything about your marriage.

I do know that nothing grates on a man's mind like having to pay alimony though.


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## doingitmyself (Jul 30, 2013)

^^Perhaps the death of a marriage is like a death..... ^^^ 

It was like a rebirth for me. Though It did not feel like a rebirth at the time. She's still in the same rut of a life she was then with 3 bankruptcies, 2 mortgages, nothing to show for a life of working. 

I now have so much in my life that I should thank her for her cheating ways and lies. 

Stamp the check and get on with your day, you got much bigger things to spend you time with than getting all wrapped up in her problem now. Have yourself a great day and play your favorite song, something that makes you tap your feet!!:banana:


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

http://youtu.be/ZBR2G-iI3-IYou are right doingitmyself. Times that I believed were devastating ,in retrospect, turned out to be a major blessing. Good to remember.

This is not my favorite song but seems appropriate.:sing:


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## Oxankle (Jun 20, 2003)

No one knows the dynamics of anyone else's marriage, nor can we know the motivation that begins and affair. All we know is that someone was unfaithful and divorced, married his paramour and that now SHE is writing his child support checks.

There are both bad men and bad women out there--from a distance you cannot tell which is which, and we never know why a mate strays. Only the people involved can tell us that.What we DO know is that the Checks are coming, and that is a good thing.

We all know women whose checks never come, or are always late.


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## Ardie/WI (May 10, 2002)

While sitting at the hospital 5 weeks ago while our DD had surgery, I got to chat with her father, my ex and his DW! She had nothing to do with breaking up our marriage almost 40 years ago BTW. It was fun and funny....the chat, I mean.

I guess that I put that marriage behind me the day I went to the lawyer. I bear him (or her) no ill will. Oh yes, he was abusive, etc.,etc., but I let that all go a long time ago. That and all the toxic, negative emotions that go along with the memories.

Try doing that, Roadless, and quit living in the past. It's over! It's done with! Move on! Shed the past like a snake sheds it's old skin!


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

It's not child support....it's alimony. Children are grown.......post 31


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## davel745 (Feb 2, 2009)

_Last edited by Shrek; Today at 07:04 AM. Reason: censor of a FBBized alteration of over HT limit content _

_There seems to be a special censor for FBB Love it. Not trying to be tacky just thought it is funny. Anything to keep on the straight and narrow. LOL_


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## Twp.Tom (Dec 29, 2010)

Forgiveness will set you free* My late wife used to really Like this song-She Prayed for me a Lot! Life is gonna' get better for You Roadless *[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atBg9zLI2bA[/ame]


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

They are living together not married...yea I know....none of my business ....:bdh:.


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

you need to send her a thank you card each month for the check...or a get well card...lol


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

elkhound said:


> you need to send her a thank you card each month for the check...or a get well card...lol


OR a condolence card.....:grin:


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

Twp. Tom funny song! Seriously though I do pray for both of them and my ex in-laws too.....it does sooth my soul.

I can't help but be changed by this experience. I just need to change my perspective, and I am. Thank you all.

It is great that I am getting alimony, no matter who writes the checks....it is a blessing.


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## Darren (May 10, 2002)

Look at it this way, she's in line to be his next ex. You're free and clear. Take the money and run. Continuing to dwell on it is only human. It does you absolutely no good.


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## Ardie/WI (May 10, 2002)

Laura Zone 5 said:


> OR a condolence card.....:grin:


Seriously, I gave a thought or two about sending the ex's a condolence card. Poor thang, to settle for so little. But, it would have just stirred up carp.


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## swamp man (Dec 25, 2005)

It bothers you because you still give a dern...."tacky" is everywhere, but if you didn't care, it wouldn't be painful.
As someone who's been ran around on, I know that feeling, and know how crummy it is, but I can guarantee you that time heals it. 
The situation being what it is, what difference does it make who physically wrote the check? Sounds like a jab to me, so be aware of that and have a chuckle. 
I don't offer unsolicited advice, but I'm comfortable sharing my experiences, and y'all can take 'em however you want. During my times of heartbreak, the best cure for getting over the proverbial "hump" has been hooking up with a new gal, in some cases, a few new gals....it breaks the cycle of being stuck on the last one, at least for me.
When my ex and I split, it was mutual, but I still felt like I might die from sadness.....until the 20 year-old blond hotty from next door followed me home after I mowed their grass and cured me by staying the weekend. clinically sound treatment for anyone?....That remains to be see, and what went down that weekend fell a few yards short of a psychological experiment, but for me, it was effective.


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

Yep I do still care.
Time is helping, I know I am stronger and have more clarity than a year ago.
These type of things are just bumps in the road but I am not down for the count! :strongbad:

I can't say I had a 20 yr old hotty follow me home ( or 30, 40, 50 etc ) for that matter either !  Good for you!


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## davel745 (Feb 2, 2009)

roadless said:


> Yep I do still care.
> Time is helping, I know I am stronger and have more clarity than a year ago.
> These type of things are just bumps in the road but I am not down for the count! :strongbad:
> 
> I can't say I had a 20 yr old hotty follow me home ( or 30, 40, 50 etc ) for that matter either !  Good for you!


I would be glad to follow you home anytime you would like. LOL Me Not so hot anymore. LOL


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

Thanks dave747 ! yeah me neither .....unless hot flashes count! :flame: 

edited to add; But if being a hottie is in the attitude I can be all over that!


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## Darren (May 10, 2002)

There's your problem. You're a better person than him because you still care. In a sense he still owns part of you. You need to value yourself above any way they can affect you. You're still going through the stages of grieving. 


Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance.
Recognize that your feelings are normal but you definitely need to move on. FWIW, I'm not a big fan of a rebound affair. That can be self defeating. I've known men that look for those situations. They see recently divorced women as easy prey. Some women think they're getting back at their ex. Not the way to go.


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

I agree Darren...and the stages bounce around too, but I am healing. Thankfully.

Don't want to do the rebound thing either.....heck I can barely just talk to someone I am attracted to!


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

I sure wish the 1-5 system, was just that, 1 through 5.
Just when you are making the jump from 3 to 4, you are right back at 2.
Grrrrr.

Trying to stay focused on what's ahead (potentially or factually) instead of trying to figure out why 1-5 is happening is the key.....
Says the girl that has flux issues. HA HA.


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

Yep Laura it is definitely not linear. 
It takes what it takes.
I am learning to feel the feeling but not dwell. 

Let go of all that I have no control over, which is just about everything!
Be grateful for all that I do have.
Trust that it will all work out.

Stop focusing on myself and reach out to others *always* helps.

btw, just got another check, made out and signed by him. :shrug:


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

Instead of viewing it as a Rebound Affair, consider the healing qualities of Transitional Relationships. Going into them with both parties aware it has a less than 20% change of permanency or commitment while you both learn a lot about yourselves and relationships, dispel myths, make positive attitude adjustments, learn boundaries, learn to give and receive, how to Love again, trust another person in deep friendship and bring healing to each other.

When all but the friendship is over, you should have a better idea of what you want in your life and permanent relationship, and how to have them.


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## KnowOneSpecial (Sep 12, 2010)

HE was the tacky one to begin with. She wouldn't have been with him if he didn't invite her. They deserve each other and you deserve to be free and clear of him. Take the money and RUN! You definitely got the better end of the stick!


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

Laura said:


> Instead of viewing it as a Rebound Affair, consider the healing qualities of Transitional Relationships. Going into them with both parties aware it has a less than 20% change of permanency or commitment while you both learn a lot about yourselves and relationships, dispel myths, make positive attitude adjustments, learn boundaries, learn to give and receive, how to Love again, trust another person in deep friendship and bring healing to each other.
> 
> When all but the friendship is over, you should have a better idea of what you want in your life and permanent relationship, and how to have them.



About a year after the SHTF I did see a great guy. I was as honest as I knew how to be and very much enjoyed his company. His ex wife had an affair with a mutual friend so he certainly understood what I was going through. He was further along in the process ( about 8 years ) and was ready to be involved. I was not and had no business being with him. He wanted to be more than I was able. He was hurt and I lost a good friend.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

roadless said:


> About a year after the SHTF I did see a great guy. I was as honest as I knew how to be and very much enjoyed his company. His ex wife had an affair with a mutual friend so he certainly understood what I was going through. He was further along in the process ( about 8 years ) and was ready to be involved. I was not and had no business being with him. He wanted to be more than I was able. He was hurt and I lost a good friend.


It was his choice to be hurt if you were honest about your needs, he didn't listen to you and ran his own agenda. Relationships can be full of misunderstandings, wrong assumptions, mishaps and include some pain along with all the good stuff. The important thing is to learn and grow from our experiences.


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## Echoesechos (Jan 22, 2010)

I've been thinking about this post since I first read it. Someone mentioned that it could be illegal for her signing his name on the check etc.. I'm thinking it is, and I encourage you to inquire with someone in the know about it, as a protection to yourself. Sure would hate to see that cause you additional problems. (Accepting the check knowing this etc). Just my two cents worth buy I worry about these things. Otherwise as my grandmother would say, "just keeping rocking along".


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

yeah, keep on rocking in the free world.


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

Nothing in this world is free, I have paid a huge price.


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

double bubble


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

City Bound said:


> yeah, keep on rocking in the free world.


City, didn't you start your own thread to be hateful? Can you just keep playing your game there?

WOW.
CASE AND POINT of what I was saying in my PM......


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

roadless said:


> Nothing in this world is free, I have paid a huge price.


It is a saying, lighten up.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Laura Zone 5 said:


> City, didn't you start your own thread to be hateful? Can you just keep playing your game there?
> 
> WOW.
> CASE AND POINT of what I was saying in my PM......


I have no idea what you are on about. I think you are very confused.


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## Fair Light (Oct 13, 2010)

I am the first of my Ex's 5 ex-wives...(that's the father of my children) we have been divorced for 35 years....he cheated on all 5 of us...is there a pattern here??? ummm..."yes"...Roadless, you will see the pattern in time...just as soon as the newness of their relationship fades....


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## doingitmyself (Jul 30, 2013)

swamp man said:


> It bothers you because you still give a dern...."tacky" is everywhere, but if you didn't care, it wouldn't be painful.
> As someone who's been ran around on, I know that feeling, and know how crummy it is, but I can guarantee you that time heals it.
> The situation being what it is, what difference does it make who physically wrote the check? Sounds like a jab to me, so be aware of that and have a chuckle.
> I don't offer unsolicited advice, but I'm comfortable sharing my experiences, and y'all can take 'em however you want. During my times of heartbreak, the best cure for getting over the proverbial "hump" has been hooking up with a new gal, in some cases, a few new gals....it breaks the cycle of being stuck on the last one, at least for me.
> When my ex and I split, it was mutual, but I still felt like I might die from sadness.....until the 20 year-old blond hotty from next door followed me home after I mowed their grass and cured me by staying the weekend. clinically sound treatment for anyone?....That remains to be see, and what went down that weekend fell a few yards short of a psychological experiment, but for me, it was effective.



Swampman, i always try to speak from the heart. You sir speak from life, sometimes a bit edgy but to the point none the less, Thank you for your insite!!! I always enjoy the view!!!!


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## swamp man (Dec 25, 2005)

doingitmyself said:


> Swampman, i always try to speak from the heart. You sir speak from life, sometimes a bit edgy but to the point none the less, Thank you for your insite!!! I always enjoy the view!!!!


I appreciate that, Sir. These people are my friends. If I can't be honest with y'all, it just makes me a liar, no good to myself or anyone else.


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## goatlady (May 31, 2002)

roadless, IF she actuallysigned HIS name to that check that is a felony - forgery and IF you cash it you could be in legal trouble for cashing/passing a "bad" check!! That is probably why HE sent you another check. SHe was trying to get YOU in real hot water legally and financially!!!! When the check bounced, the banks would come back to your account for the money. DO NOT CASH/DEPOSIT the check SHE signed inllegally. Want to be really nasty? Take that forged check to the police and file a forgery complaint against her! Of course, keeping in mind said action will probably rebound on you some way, some how. Otherwise, just tuck it away for a while.


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## swamp man (Dec 25, 2005)

goatlady said:


> roadless, IF she actuallysigned HIS name to that check that is a felony - forgery and IF you cash it you could be in legal trouble for cashing/passing a "bad" check!! That is probably why HE sent you another check. SHe was trying to get YOU in real hot water legally and financially!!!! When the check bounced, the banks would come back to your account for the money. DO NOT CASH/DEPOSIT the check SHE signed inllegally. Want to be really nasty? Take that forged check to the police and file a forgery complaint against her! Of course, keeping in mind said action will probably rebound on you some way, some how. Otherwise, just tuck it away for a while.


Why would she want to be "really nasty", and stoop to their level to accomplish basically nothing except to perpetuate a fight? 
Roadless, if it's costing you money, report it. If the checks are cashing, give them nothing more than your walking away. They don't deserve the satisfaction of you getting riled up, and you're too much of a high-quality lady to get wrapped up in a contest of unpleasantries. Unless you're getting messed out of what the court has deemed to be yours, your greatest revenge is to not give a rat's posterior what the ex is up to or who cut the check. Rise above, homegirl. This anguish goes away, I promise.


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

I think I will give my lawyer a call.
I know it is not his signature so I cannot in good conscience deposit it.


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

Oh I certainly had nasty thoughts throughout this process....but I couldn't live with myself if I acted on them.....darn that conscience anyway


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## willow_girl (Dec 7, 2002)

roadless said:


> I think I will give my lawyer a call.
> I know it is not his signature so I cannot in good conscience deposit it.


Providing she signed the check with his knowledge/approval, no prosecutor in the world is going to consider this forgery.

But if you want to give your lawyer some money to tell you that, I'm sure he (or she) will be happy to take it. (Lawyers love this kind of stuff. They make a fortune off people who can't manage to let bygones be bygones.) 

So the lawyer will charge you a hundred bucks to send your ex a letter telling him to sign his own checks from now on. And your ex and his GF will have the satisfaction of knowing they managed to get your goat .. which was probably why they did it in the first place.


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

My lawyer is a friend of sorts, this will all be done under the radar. Nothing official, no payment. Just a simple call. I do not want to stir the pot. My guess is that I will simply deposit it.....but I cannot be sure it was made out with his ok.


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

Even better.

I wouldn't rock that boat.
Cash it like you didn't even notice it was forged.
This is not a YOU problem, it's a THEM problem if there IS a problem....

I would not do ANYTHING to potentially interrupt the flow of money....
This burns his backside to the 3rd degree....he thought he was gonna walk away with NO consequences, and you know the old saying "if you want to make it hurt, shoot em in the wallet".

After 30 years of service, consider it back pay.

Willow, I agree, I think the intention was to hurt roadless so bad, that she would rather never see a check again, than to see that _____'s hand writing.
The goal, is to stop sending checks.


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## willow_girl (Dec 7, 2002)

> My lawyer is a friend of sorts, this will all be done under the radar. Nothing official, no payment. Just a simple call. I do not want to stir the pot. My guess is that I will simply deposit it.....but I cannot be sure it was made out with his ok.


A better idea would be to go directly to the police department and report this as a possible crime!

The police have a tough job most of the time, so it's kind to provide them with a few moments of levity. 

It may even warrant a small item in the local paper. (I used to love this kind of stuff when I was a reporter covering the crime beat.)


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

Naw, I think they would love the drama, I just want my due.


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## tambo (Mar 28, 2003)

Buy a box of cheap Thank You cards and send them one every month with thank you written your hand writing and a big smiley face.


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

I actually thought of that :thumb: but the reality is no contact is the way to go. The less I think about them the better for me.


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## RubyRed (Sep 24, 2011)

Maybe I missed something here, so please forgive me if this is redundant. 

Why is her signature a big deal? Who's to say that she doesn't have check writing approval on his account? Also, cashing the check is receipt enough. Without knowing the specifics of the divorce decree, he may be in default for certain reasons. That would all depend on the decree and how it is stated. 

Cash it!! If the bank does not ackowledge it, then go to the lawyer that represented you. And not to offend....just my observation. A lawyer is never a "friend". They may try to play one on T.V., but there is no such animal. They are business, they just know how to "pretend", very well.


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

It wasn't her signature, she signed his.


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

I thought there were two checks,,,,One with her signing and one with him,,,,,
Are they both for the same thing??

I hate money...look what it does to us alll......


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## RubyRed (Sep 24, 2011)

roadless said:


> It wasn't her signature, she signed his.


Oh, okay, thank you for the clarification...

I'd still cash it, let the bank and them work it out, if it is "caught". Again, the divorce decree will be able to do the dirty work for you. 

As everyone else has said, keep moving forward and wiping the poo off of your shoes with each step. 

The best to you in 2014!!


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

I get weekly checks, one was made out and signed by him, the other was made out and signed by her using his signature.


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## Malamute (Sep 15, 2011)

roadless said:


> It wasn't her signature, she signed his.


 
I'd make a photocopy of it and deposit it. If it goes through, fine, you still have a copy for your records if it causes any commotion, or comes into question for any reason later.


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

roadless said:


> I get weekly checks, one was made out and signed by him, the other was made out and signed by her using his signature.


Weekly!!?? How odd,,

I'll never understand,,reasoning :smack


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

Weekly is standard according to my lawyer.


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## wr (Aug 10, 2003)

I would deposit the cheque and carry on because it's not illegal for her to sign on his behalf if he has given consent and I doubt very much if she would send an alimony cheque against his wishes 

I know this is all very hard for you but as long as you let their actions bother you, you will remain unhappy. Take the high road, ignore childish behaviour and it will soon stop.


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