# Friends with Benefits



## Guest (Jul 22, 2012)

OK, so this woman was asking how about if we were friends with benefits? And I was thinking "I'm not in the money lending business anymore, since that time I loaned a guy $5 and he never paid me back and I had to repossess his car for the $5 and ended up with a thousand hours of community service and the judge ask me what sort of work I did and i told her I was a gigolo, and I did every second of that thousand hours, too. Not one second off for good behavior." Oh well...

So, I said "I don't much think that will work for me" and she said "I don't want a commitment" And I was like, "Maybe you shouldn't act crazy if you don't want to be committed" And she was saying "Huh?" Well, sooner or later I knew I was gonna get called a busker so, I beat her to it. "I'm just a dumb busker, but I'll take some benefits, as long as I don't get in over my head" And she said "I think that's physically impossible" And then it was my turn to say "Huh?" She said she'd come over after a while and show me something I hadn't ever seen before, and I was thinking "last time I fell for that one, I was about 6 years old and my cousin cracked a peanut, said "you never saw this particular peanut before" Then he ate it and said "You won't ever see it again either" So, yeah, show me something I never seen before.


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

i knew this girl one time and it was beneficial.....she had a key to a locked gate that lead to a good fishing hole.me and her didnt last long.....she didnt like baiting my hook. 

womens lib.....pffft.........lol

you shoulda seen the catfish there


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

Friends w/benefits...ohhhh yeah. :happy:

You guys needs to stop looking for Mrs. Right and find a Mrs. Right Now.


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

I once overheard a busker say that the only difference between how you treat your best friend and your lover should be sex. At first I thought that was a really stupid thing to say. But the more I thought about it, the more I decided it was true. Why would I afford my best friend more patience, more loyalty, more understanding, more trust, more kindness, more generosity of spirit than my lover?

I ASPIRE to a relationship that is &#8216;friends with benefits.&#8217; 

The only other spin I can put on this phenomenon is, &#8220;I want to have this relationship with you until something better comes along.&#8221; Yuck.


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## Guest (Jul 22, 2012)

Raeven said:


> I once overheard a busker say that the only difference between how you treat your best friend and your lover should be sex.


I'm gonna steal that saying. I already got one of Mav's sayings as my facebook status, but I'll use yours too. somewhere.
I just can't wait to see something I've never seen before. I mean, it's not like I'm a mere babe of 59 or something. I been around.


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## NewGround (Dec 19, 2010)

Are we talking Social Security or Disability benefits?


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

I very rarely benefit from any friends. They are like can u put this in your dump truck or toe this for me or if your around with excavator. Can u help me move? An on n on. I defiantly benefit more from non friend people tell call me up n say hey I'll pay u a bunch of money to do this for me.


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

Raeven said:


> I once overheard a busker say that the only difference between how you treat your best friend and your lover should be sex. At first I thought that was a really stupid thing to say. But the more I thought about it, the more I decided it was true. Why would I afford my best friend more patience, more loyalty, more understanding, more trust, more kindness, more generosity of spirit than my lover?
> 
> I ASPIRE to a relationship that is âfriends with benefits.â
> 
> The only other spin I can put on this phenomenon is, âI want to have this relationship with you until something better comes along.â Yuck.



best friend,wife,lover....all rolled into one.....Nirvana !!!!!!!


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## Guest (Jul 22, 2012)

Mine mostly want to borrow money. then they get all mad when I want it back, then they don't talk to me for 10 years. then they call to catch up and want to borrow some more money. Then I say you never paid me back the last money you borrowed, Then they say "That was 10 years ago" it must be a good line in the moochers handbook. I guess.


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

Raven12 said:


> Friends w/benefits...ohhhh yeah. :happy:
> 
> You guys needs to stop looking for Mrs. Right and find a Mrs. Right Now.



i think these women are telling zong to get away from me right now busker....:smack


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## Guest (Jul 22, 2012)

Seriously I had a woman tell me, about this time last year, "All you want is somebody to cook for, take care of, talk to, and have sex with. You don't want a relationship" And I was like "??" I mean, I couldn't even think "Huh?"


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

Oh no, our first disagreement, Rae. :Bawling: Friends with Benefits is a ton better than hooking up with random people. If both parties agree on the options open clause, then there are two consenting adults doing their thing.


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

elkhound said:


> i think these women are telling zong to get away from me right now busker....:smack


That is because you don't show them your hands. Dude, women would be lined up in VA to hook up with you.


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

Raven12 said:


> That is because you don't show them your hands. Dude, women would be lined up in VA to hook up with you.



i spewed my dew on computer screen.....lol...your funny....:nana::clap:


i just want one.......best friend,wife,lover


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

I never experienced this kind of friendship and i always thought it would be nice. I never will experience this kind of relationship though. Maybe in my 80's I will. I doubt it though.

I like emotional depth, I do not know if friends with benifits have that.


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## Guest (Jul 22, 2012)

Your emotions all originate inside you. Any emotional depth you ever have will originate inside you.


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

Awww, Raven, we don't disagree, really. 

If everyone is consenting, no harm no foul... it's just not how *I* do it.  If someone is in my drawers, then they have my full attention... and by the time they got into them, it's beside the point. 

Probably clear as mud, but it makes sense to me.


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

Raeven said:


> Awww, Raven, we don't disagree, really.
> 
> If everyone is consenting, no harm no foul... it's just not how *I* do it.  If someone is in my drawers, then they have my full attention... and by the time they got into them, it's beside the point.
> 
> Probably clear as mud, but it makes sense to me.



drawers...drawers....you silly girl yall wear panties...drawers is where ya store panties,pistols and cash.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

zong said:


> Your emotions all originate inside you. Any emotional depth you ever have will originate inside you.


True. I meant two people sharing their emotional depth together and delving deeper into themselves and each other as they romance and care for each other.


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## Guest (Jul 22, 2012)

Makes me think of that episode of Seinfield where Kramer was renting out drawers to those foreign businessmen.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

zong said:


> Makes me think of that episode of Seinfield where Kramer was renting out drawers to those foreign businessmen.


haha.


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## Guest (Jul 22, 2012)

CB, thats not how it works. You don't just sit around getting deeper and deeper into each other. You live your lives with some common goals, work out the differences and grow dependent on each other for stability. As in "she'll always be there, even if I burn the biscuits" Or, "yeah, she likes steak and I like chicken and we don't have a problem with that." its all about give and take.


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

Rae, wear these instead...:flameproofundies:. The guy will think you are super kinky and go crazy.


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

elkhound said:


> drawers...drawers....you silly girl yall wear panties...drawers is where ya store panties,pistols and cash.


LOL, I try my best to not offend delicate sensibilities on the board... hence, 'drawers.'

Whenever I hear that term, I hear Stockard Channing in her role as Rizzo in Grease, during the sleepover scene... she's making fun of Sandi, singing, 'Hey, Look -- I'm Sandra Dee!'

"Keep your filthy paws off my silky drawers!!"

Kills me.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

I know zong, but I feel you have to have compatible hearts that are equally as deep to do that.


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

Raven12 said:


> Rae, wear these instead...:flameproofundies:. The guy will think you are super kinky and go crazy.


LOL, sweetie... I've gone commando since I was 16... I once had someone ask me to... well, that's a story for another board.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Good song Rae. 

Bloomers works also.


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## Guest (Jul 22, 2012)

City Bound said:


> I know zong, but I feel you have to have compatible hearts that are equally as deep to do that.


I cannot imagine anything more maddening than spending a whole lot of time around somebody who was like me, thought like me, felt the exact same way as me, had the same degree of depth as me, or wanted to do any of the above. It would be easier to just be with myself, if I was that vain. I like somebody that thinks different, feels different, everything different. I want somebody to be herself, not adapt to be my mirror image. She can be her, I can be me, we can get along just fine.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

zong said:


> I cannot imagine anything more maddening than spending a whole lot of time around somebody who was like me, thought like me, felt the exact same way as me, had the same degree of depth as me, or wanted to do any of the above. It would be easier to just be with myself, if I was that vain. I like somebody that thinks different, feels different, everything different. I want somebody to be herself, not adapt to be my mirror image. She can be her, I can be me, we can get along just fine.


I agree. Not clones. Two hearts that are open enough so that when your heart over flows with love and care for the person their heart, like a cup, is deep enough to catch and fill with the love you are poring out for them, and likewise one's own heart is a cup deep enough to receive the love that their beloved is poring out into them.

have you ever loved someone and it was like poring love onto a brick wall, where it just ran down the facade of the wall and was wasted on the floor? The opposite of that.


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## Guest (Jul 22, 2012)

yeah, I know unrequited love. Still, I'm just not expressing myself clearly. You don't actually "feel" someones love. An emotion that originates inside you tells you that said person loves you. The "feeling" comes from within. Any "feeling" of contentment comes from within. Its like, if a million bucks makes you feel financially stable. It's not the million bucks doing it, the feeling originates from inside your mind. Love is similar. Your brain puts out a signal that somebody loves you and you bask in that feeling. Or any other feeling of well-being. The fact is, you are the only one who feels your emotions, everybody else feels theirs. Last time I was feeling loved, the other party was feeling something. I don't know what. but, I never felt what they were feeling, my mind made me "feel" loved. See? 
Well, if your mind can give you a sense of well being at one point in time, it can give you the same sense at another point in time. You just have to call up the formula that worked in the past. You are solely responsible for your own emotions and contentment. Thus "be here, now" It's a zen philosophy, by the way.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

I have thought that thought before zong, but I disagree. Some people love you and make you feel better then you could ever imagine in your mind. They take you some place new that you have never thought or felt before. That comes from them. At least I think so.


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

elkhound said:


> best friend,wife,lover....all rolled into one.....Nirvana !!!!!!!


Dang right... :clap:


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Raeven said:


> LOL, sweetie... I've gone commando since I was 16... I once had someone ask me to... well, that's a story for another board.


Commando must be a Oregon thing, lol. :flameproofundies:


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

Friends with benefits never works...one person always ends up wanting more.

I would like to think that by the time someone reaches a certain age, they know who they are and what they want and it is something deeper than a random night of sex. 

Maybe it is just me, but I want more. If I really like a man then I would be the one wanting more than just friendship and casual sex.

Friends with benefits= Friends with VD.....too much playing going on for me!


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

I dont think I would want a fiend that threw a Ben fit. Specially when my names Bill


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## momof2 (Mar 28, 2003)

I couldn't do friends with benefits... sorry. I have to actually *really* like the person to want more with him. I'm all girly... the emotional side of things is equally important to me as the physical is. I do want a friend with benefits but it's the "friend, bf/husband, lover" all in one kind. If I'm at that place with a man he is already one of my best friends.

CB... those intense feelings come from what YOU feel... not what they make you feel. They can't make you feel anything. I can have 2 guys perfectly equal in all ways and I can feel nothing for one and intense feelings for the other... those are MY feelings. I think it comes down to the fact that you either connect with someone or you don't, you either "feel it" or you don't, it just is or it isn't. I have had a great guy try hard to romance me with everything a girl could want and I have felt nothing... zero. I have had a guy not do any of those things and I have been head over heels, butterflies in the tummy, crazy for him... it just is.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Same here momo. When I was young, I thought it didnt make a difference, that the works worked regardless of whatever emotion I might have for the recpricant. Wadnt true. Both heads seemingly had to care for the person they were involved with, IN MY CASE. Especially the bottom, in order to get a LONG. lol


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## farmgal (Nov 12, 2005)

NewGround said:


> Are we talking Social Security or Disability benefits?


If the tool is small, then I'd say disability benefits...hehe :yawn:


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## Guest (Jul 22, 2012)

Shan, I'd have to say that if a friend were to give you VD, they can't be much of a friend. I'd find some new friends.


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## littlejoe (Jan 17, 2007)

momof2 said:


> I couldn't do friends with benefits... sorry. I have to actually *really* like the person to want more with him. I'm all girly... the emotional side of things is equally important to me as the physical is. I do want a friend with benefits but it's the "friend, bf/husband, lover" all in one kind. If I'm at that place with a man he is already one of my best friends.
> 
> I have had a great guy try hard to romance me with everything a girl could want and I have felt nothing... zero. I have had a guy not do any of those things and I have been head over heels, butterflies in the tummy, crazy for him... it just is.


A FWB never worked out well for me. Only tried it twice, maybe I shouldn't give up so easily? Nahhh, it just never felt right, afterwards...it was good...but it had no meaning, other than the moment.

I think chicks dig on men who really don't need one. The gf I broke up with has been after me hard, to reconsider. Says she realizes the mistakes she made. I always told her my attitude would be no different by myself. Don't get me wrong, I love women! Just can do without the drama that some seem to create. 

I like flirting with them, talking to them, and listening to most of them. Got some terrific friends that are women. I used to think that there were very few datable women around this little burg, the first few years after I was divorced. The last few years I see there are way more than a few, and I'm not delving into it, very hard either! Got a couple phone #'s in my pocket, that maybe I should explore?


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## momof2 (Mar 28, 2003)

littlejoe said:


> I think chicks dig on men who really don't need one. The gf I broke up with has been after me hard, to reconsider. Says she realizes the mistakes she made. I always told her my attitude would be no different by myself. Don't get me wrong, I love women! Just can do without the drama that some seem to create.


I really do get what you are saying here but I don't want to feel like a "take it or leave it" kinda thing. KWIM?

I want a man who is confident, self sufficient and happy all by himself but at the same time if he is with a woman he needs to need her... to a certain extent. She shouldn't feel like just another option.

LJ... we are women... we ARE drama!


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## littlejoe (Jan 17, 2007)

No, it's not a take it or leave it type of scenario. I'd disagree with a "needs to need her". I would insert a "Want to be with her...a desire to be with her". Just cuz she's a desirable woman! And she makes herself thus.

Yup, chicks are drama! lol!  but some don't create it just to make a argument!


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

I am a strong believer in being with someone who wants to be with you and doesn't need to be with you....


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

Ahhhhhh. No wonder this forum goes through cranky mood swings. There is _a lot_ of frustration floating around.


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

Raven12 said:


> Ahhhhhh. No wonder this forum goes through cranky mood swings. There is _a lot_ of frustration floating around.


What do you mean???


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

People aren't having sex.


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## Guest (Jul 22, 2012)

It won't be long now!!


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

Raven12 said:


> People aren't having sex.


Hahahahahaha!!!! :happy:


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

as we get older i see that having a person that we built a relationship is so important.its important at any age...but aging process breaks us down and people need each other to get threw things..if that makes sense.


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## Guest (Jul 22, 2012)

Well, heres what I am bringing to the table! 3 varieties of tomato, fresh butterbeans, a chunk of pepper venison(just imagine oriental pepper beef, but its venison I canned last winter), some cathead biscuits and the apple/peach salsa/chutney from the "new recipe" thread. Shes bringing mashed potatoes, gravy, and some kind of pie she guarentees I've never seen before. Benefits? the pie, for me. Gravy, too. For her, pepper venison, maybe the biscuits too. Yep, friends with benefits is the thing!!

Why, what did ya think I was talking about??


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

I can't think of any friends with benefits relationships I've been in. Ive declined some that doesn't go over well. Which is kinda contradictory to the whole concept. Also I can't not do something a hundred percent. N that's not a 100% deal. Aside from the moral aspect. But aside from all that at least one party has real feelings for the other no matter if they say they don't.


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## momof2 (Mar 28, 2003)

littlejoe said:


> I'd disagree with a "needs to need her". I would insert a "Want to be with her...a desire to be with her". Just cuz she's a desirable woman! And she makes herself thus.


That's what I meant... you said it much better. The "take it or leave it" attitude is what I wouldn't like.


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## fishhead (Jul 19, 2006)

FWB may not be for everyone but I think it's fair to say that for most people abstinence is unhealthy. 

I've had that kind of relationship and it work well for me and for her. Only once did it turn out badly but she was lying to me the whole time.

I'd do it again in a heartbeat.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Abstainance wont kill ya. Dont give ya much reason for livein tho


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## fishhead (Jul 19, 2006)

littlejoe said:


> A
> 
> I think chicks dig on men who really don't need one.


I really think this why so many women have cats.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

I can imagine it could get messy if you start dating someone and they are not dating someone, or they are dating someone and you are not.

I have never been that chummy with a woman that we could buddy up like that. I am friendly with women and I have some as friends but we are not close chums you know. 

If I was chummy with a female friend I would fall in love with her and that would defeat the FWB arrangement. And if we were that chummy then why are we not dating? If the chemistry is that relaxed and pleasent then that would spell out relationship potential to me.


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

City Bound said:


> I can imagine it could get messy if you start dating someone and they are not dating someone, or they are dating someone and you are not.
> 
> I have never been that chummy with a woman that we could buddy up like that. I am friendly with women and I have some as friends but we are not close chums you know.
> 
> If I was chummy with a female friend I would fall in love with her and that would defeat the FWB arrangement. And if we were that chummy then why are we not dating? If the chemistry is that relaxed and pleasent then that would spell out relationship potential to me.


Loving someone and being in love are two entirely different matters. Relationships aren't always black and white.


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## Guest (Jul 23, 2012)

Hey, Raven12, you saw patterns. Lets all place bets on the username used next week!


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

I see patterns in a lot of things. Could be the side effects of this crappy beer.


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## Guest (Jul 23, 2012)

must be strong. maybe 11.0??


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

No, Iron City. 

(Inside PA joke there)


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Raven12 said:


> Loving someone and being in love are two entirely different matters. Relationships aren't always black and white.


I guess so , but all that ends when you get married so why bother starting it. That is feeling about it.


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