# I need some advice from parents of autistic children.



## RedTartan (May 2, 2006)

I need advice. When my youngest son was almost 3 he was diagnosed with autism. We are a homeschooling family.

My son is now 4 and he is nonverbal. He does babble a lot and the doctor tells me that my son WILL talk. In fact, my son's prognosis is normalcy. The doctor says that no one will ever be able to tell that my son was ever "autistic" when he's grown. We've been doing bio-medical treatments since he was diagnosed and he's improved tremendously. We've done no therapy at all.

My doctor thinks my child could benefit from being put in a public school program. However, my doctor is a HUGE fan of public schools. He recommended to my sister-in-law that she put my nephew in public school when he was having bowel issues because he thought the peer pressure (read: other children's taunting) would keep him from soiling himself.  I tell you this only so you'll see that my doctor thinks public schools are a good solution to nearly everything.

My husband and I have come to believe that autism is a problem that can be overcome. That through healing and detoxification of the body through medications and supplements it can be cured. So far what we've seen with our own eyes has proven this. I'm not sure therapy will be helpful. I kind of think that as soon as he's able to do things, he will.

I really dislike public schools, but I don't want to hinder my child. I'd like to hear from parents who've put their kids in, what your experiences have been, do you think it helped your child or do you think your children would have "gotten there" anyway? Can I help my child at home with some program and still homeschool my other three children effectively?

Thanks for reading all this,

RedTartan


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## cindy-e (Feb 14, 2008)

I don't have autistic children, so I will not venture an opinion. It sounds like a truly difficult cross roads at which you stand. I have a friend who has a child who is autistic, and I will ask her if you like? Best I can do, sorry.
Cheering you on from here as you decide,
Cindyc.


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## Tracy Rimmer (May 9, 2002)

RT -- have you considered the BrainGym program? It was a huge help to us.

We were told that our son would never progress beyond a fourth grade level, academically, would be dependent on us for his every need for the rest of his life, and that we should expect the emotional maturity of a ten year old as an adult. We said "no".

I took my child's wellbeing into my own hands, and through a rigorous program of physical therapy (every hour in the beginning, progressing to two times a day in the second year, and now, only needed when I see he's becoming stressed), absolutely *NO* chemicals in what he consumed or was exposed to (very basic elimination diet to begin (rice, chicken breast, and broccoli), then progressing back to a wholesome, homemade, chemical and preservative free diet within a year, adding new foods in one at a time.

We did BrainGym daily, increased our intake of purified water (at least 2 litres per day per family member, often more) and home schooled (he couldn't handle the sensory input of a classroom full of kids). We allow no "crap" food in our home, and I can tell IMMEDIATELY when he's been exposed to something he can't handle -- some relatives think it's cute to "slip him some candy" -- they seldom do it more than once.

I now have a "normal" twelve year old, who is currently working on a sixth grade curriculum with some seventh grade material. He reads constantly, and loves soccer.

It can be done, without public school. I will, however, suggest that if your doctor is so pro-public school that he made that suggestion to your sister ("therapy" through humiliation? Wow, I'm shocked!) that perhaps it's time for a different doctor. You need one that sees why you have made the decisions you have, and supports you in them.


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## Sonshine (Jul 27, 2007)

Dr James McDonald, who is in Ohio somewhere. I'm not home so can't give you the site, but he wrote a book called "Communicating Partners". It really helped me with my son, who was non-verbal until the age of 5. Now you can't get him to shut up. LOL Dr McDonald also has a forum. When I get home I'll try to get the info for you if you would like. Just pm me if interested. Another person who helped us was Dr. Stephen Camarata. He's at Vanderbilt University in Nashville. Between these two doctors they helped me break through to my son. My DS still isn't caught up with his peers, he'll be 10 next week, but he can communicate with everyone now and is reading first grade books and is steadily progressing.


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## cindy-e (Feb 14, 2008)

Tracy Rimmer said:


> RT -- have you considered the BrainGym program? It was a huge help to us.
> 
> We were told that our son would never progress beyond a fourth grade level, academically, would be dependent on us for his every need for the rest of his life, and that we should expect the emotional maturity of a ten year old as an adult. We said "no".
> 
> ...


I will say that though we do not have an autistic child, we do have some pretty significant learning disabilities, and we did a program very much like brain gym with him. It also gave profound results. This is my 7th grader who basically did 9th grade course work last year.

Cindyc.


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## RedTartan (May 2, 2006)

Wow! Tracy that is an amazing story! I'm so glad you were able to help your son recover. Could you explain a little more about the physical therapy you did/do with your son? I'll definitely look into BrainGym. Can a child use it that's not talking yet? We are also on a very pure diet called the SCD (specific carbohydrate diet.) It's designed to heal the colon. I eventually hope to have my family on a traditional diet as advocated by the Weston A. Price Foundation. Something tells me you've heard of them. 

As for my doctor, he's pro-public schools but fantastic in every other way. He's completely open-minded about herbal use, is anti-vaccination, pro-homebirth, etc. He has just had really good experiences with his school system. He has a 14 yo daughter with autism and a 6yo son with Cerebral Palsy (sp?) He is so great with "different" children as a result. He treats our whole extended family... He's almost like... a distant cousin that you see once a year at Christmas... Oh, well. What I mean to say is that most of the time we love him to pieces. He is the best doctor we've found so far. 

Sonshine, I was so encouraged to read your post. It frustrates me terribly that my son won't talk. I wish so badly to talk to him. I dream about it. I just keep telling myself that speech is coming, it's coming. I think I've heard of Dr. McDonald. He's in Columbus, isn't he? I'd definitely be interested in that book and the forum. Please post it here or PM me. Thanks.

Thank you, everyone. I'm so relieved that I wasn't told that I had to put him in school. That you didn't challenge me for saying that I thought autism could be cured. 

You guys rock!

 RedTartan


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## Terri (May 10, 2002)

The thing about the autistic spectum is, the kids have to be formally taught what most kids pick up. 

My own son has aspergers, and he has been taught social skills BUT he needs other kids to practice on. And, in this area the kids are found at the public school: there are few in my area. So, for him, public school is an excellent choice for schooling.


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## Bluegirl (Dec 13, 2004)

Public school in the early years is a good idea. Your son will receive speech therapy through the school system. Also, interaction with peers will provide the important social skills that autistic children lack.


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## Tracy Rimmer (May 9, 2002)

Bluegirl said:


> Public school in the early years is a good idea. Your son will receive speech therapy through the school system. Also, interaction with peers will provide the important social skills that autistic children lack.


While this is true for many kids, it is not an across-the-board "good thing". My son's specific challenges included SID (Sensory Integration Disorder) which made trying to learn in a classroom environment nearly impossible. 

Daily interaction with "peers" (meaning, in this case, children of the same age), for kids on the spectrum, is not always a good thing, either. Negative social learning can present problems in future that are nearly impossible to "unteach", unlike with kids who are not on the spectrum.

The speech therapy and other therapies available through the public system are certainly available, but are often inferior to what can be obtained privately -- certainly if one cannot afford private therapy, it's better than the child receiving nothing at all, but if the choice is there, I would never go through a public school system for something like this.

Every case is different.


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## akhomesteader (Jan 5, 2006)

Tracy, you are so right in everything you said. All of our children are adopted, and all have various special needs, including autism. Two have sensory integration problems and various other problems. But, public school certainly is not the answer. Our high functioning autistic son has great difficulty socializing, of course. He learns how to interact by observing people around him, and whatever he learns sticks. It's almost impossible to undo the bad habits. You can't simply explain why a particular behavior isn't appropriate. Another son is extremely bright, but he just can't handle too much stimulation. He's getting better, but in a room with lots of people (sometimes just a few), he quickly "gets too much" and removes himself to a calmer setting outside or another room until he feels like joining the rest of us again. 

All that to say that at home, you can provide exactly what your child needs and can handle. BTW, if you're interested in more biomed information for autism (anyplace on the spectrum), you might try http://www.ch3nutrigenomics.com/phpBB2/index.php We've seen wonderful results using Dr. Amy Yasko's methods of good diet and supplements. It includes lots of lab testing, including genetic testing. We couldn't do all of it, but what we did provided a great foundation and helped us help our children. The results have been amazing.

Jenny


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## Sonshine (Jul 27, 2007)

Here's Dr McDonald's website:
http://jamesdmacdonald.org/Articles/MacDonaldStart.html

and here's to his group:
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/communicating/

As for social interaction with our special kids, in my own opinion I like the idea that I can watch his social interactions. When in public school, we don't know what's going on. Kids can be cruel, and when a child is different the way they are treated can do damage to their self esteem. My Ds has a wonderful self esteem and is learning social skills from the neighbor kids, kids from church, kids from our homeschool group, kids in boy scouts and the kids in taikwondo. The good thing about this is that, although I am not right there with him when he's socializing, I know the kids and the parents of the kids he's socializing with and am better able to protect him.


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## RockyGlen (Jan 19, 2007)

You can check with your public school - many states do offer therapy to homeschooled students. You take your child to the school for therapy, but do not have to enroll them in school. The quality and quantity of the therapy is going to vary by the school system.

Our school system offers pathetic therapy - once a week group therapy for 20 minutes. Not enough...not even close. Our insurance paid for a tiny amount of therapy, so we used most of that and built a good relationship with his OT, PT, and SLP. Once that runs out each year we provide all the therapy and visit the therapists out of pocket every quarter for progress checks and new directions.

It sounds as if you are happy with your doctor, so please do not take this as major criticism....but he can not possibly say your son will talk or will lose all symptoms if your son has an autism diagnosis. No one can predict a future like that, and the spectrum is so wide that who knows what will result. In addition, so many kids on the spectrum have secondary diagnoses: SPD, Apraxia, etc. Therapy as early as possible is best whether you do it yourself, your insurance pays for private, or you go through the school system.

Our son uses a Springboard Lite communication device, while also learning sign language. Our insurance covered it with just a letter from his doctor. We do daily therapy with him, three times a day, using the Kaufman method (google it). He has gone from totally nonverbal to saying 32 clear words and about 50 "family only" words in 6 months. Here is the link for the communication device he uses - being able to "say" exactly what he wants has helped SO much...something as simple as being able to answer when someone says, "What's your name" has changed his world. http://store.prentrom.com/cgi-bin/store/SBL.html 

There are some excellent curriculum choices out there for children with autism! Handwriting without Tears was designed for autistic or dyslexic children by an OT and it is amazing! Math U See teaches math in a hands-on concrete way that many autistics need. In my experience, autistics do not do well with abstraction and need to SEE things so it can click. If you decide to homeschool, plan on a curriculum that uses a lot of hands-on things, visual and tactile activities whenever possible.

Best of luck!


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## ShyAnne (Jun 18, 2008)

I wanted to say that congrats on everything your doing for him.Hugs to you!

My son is 13 has Tourettes syndrome and Autistic tendencies. We have worked with a therapist and did wonderfully. We also had many lessons learned with other children, children in our home school group. IMHO public school would put more stress on him and that can be detrimental to his learning and coping abilities. Thats one of the major reasons we pulled out of public to home school our son.
Find a support group for home school children with learning disabilities, if you can. The support and learning techniques are wonderful.
A good resource is Texas Special Kids. They arent close to you,but maybe they can help you find what you need. They are public school teachers turned to home school their autistic child. I meet with them yearly at our home school convention.
Best wishes!


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## Seeria (Jul 21, 2006)

Our best and our hugs for you and family. We've two autistics, one that was seriously low functioning (she's high now) in the beginning and the other that was high but is considered PDDNOS now. 

My two bits... do NOT put them into public school. We bent and tried that for two years. What were sweet children became rude, crude, nasty children and one sank into depression, his confidence totally destroyed. The social setting is just not healthy for autistics. If you do, I suggest you ask to see what tools they use, as in straps, jackets, closests, rafton chairs, paddles, etc. It's amazing how many "programs" find it okay to tie up children, isolate them, abuse them to get results. Then there are the social contacts with outside the classroom children. Really, you try to explain to an autistic why it is not acceptable to do this or that--social graces from other peoples children are unhealthy for autistics.

Our advice and what we've found to work is to find a local therapist that is willing to help you, as in show you what you need to do with them daily. Anyone that doesn't teach you how to work therapy with your own kids shouldn't be allowed near children, imo. We see a therapist once a month. That's all. She works with the kids, sees where they are, teaches us what to do next or corrects anything we've done wrong. 

If you can't find a therapist (we went a couple years without one) then keep up with what you know and find speech programs. There are a lot of them online, and libraries might purchase one for loan. 

Oh and if you have one that doesn't like touch, look up a thing called hug therapy. Even hmm Greenspan (think that was the name) program of floor time helped us in those early years. Also pressure therapy (like with weighted blankets, things that bundle them tight or add weight to their body). 

Our two are quite different in their speech. The first spoke forward and backward then one day stopped. It was years before I heard her voice again. I give credit to staying at home, doing home therapy, and in the beginning... kid's shows, the very young type. They somehow got her attention and she would mimic the entire show from memory. It also gave her echolia, but it did get her speaking (hey, some words are better than none). She no longer has a severe echolia problem. She can communicate but mostly it's using mimiced sentences, no original speech. They said she'd never talk beyond constant echoing. One said she'd never talk at all.

Our son didn't speak English. heh He developed his own language that eventually his sister could understand but not us. His transfer from this weird baby talk took five years but he now speaks somewhat in an understandable way. Not enough that strangers and other kids can understand every word but he's darn well gettting better at it. He's nine now. And yeah, they didn't think he'd ever develop English. One lady at the public school said he talks like a baby cross animal. What!? Grrr

Be inovative. Be there for them. Be resourceful. I'd say be patient but after 13 years of autistic kids hahahahaha patience is a little low but our humor has risen to new heights. Be there for them! It is so very vital that they have a constant person with them in a world they can't commune with. For a long while you will be their conduit to the real world, don't let strangers in a public school do that.

*hugs to you all*


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## RedTartan (May 2, 2006)

A small update for interested parties:

I've spoken to someone at the school and I'm impressed so far. They offer a pre-school program for 3-5 year olds (my son is 4.5) that limits class size to 12, each class has one teacher and two teacher's aides, and one third of the children are "normal" children (which I've heard is actually a good thing.) 

Pre-school runs four days per week and they'll evaluate him to see how many days he can come. Four days per week for the most severely affected children requiring physical therapy. Less for less-affected children. From talking to the man, I'm betting my son will qualify for two days per week.

I'm welcome to be there as often as I want so that I can learn what to do for him on his days off. I will probably drop in periodically as well just to be sure that everything is done as I expect it should be.

The first screening is in September so he won't be able to start the first day of school. This is actually a good thing because I'll be able to visit the class before he's going there to evaluate the environment. I'll probably visit twice, once alone and once with my son.

I'll keep you posted.

 RedTartan


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## Guest (Jul 8, 2008)

I'm glad you checked out the school system. Sometimes you find a diamond in the rough. 

I'm a homeschooling Momma and I've had one of my sons get therapy for just an hour only at the PS. I liked the therapist and it was free. (We were strapped for cash then.) It worked out well for us. Most folks are surprised to learn they don't have to have their kids at PS all day. You can do a half a day of school if it's too much for him. 

For some kids, public school is a good alternative. For some it isn't. It depends on the child, the school and the family.


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## Sonshine (Jul 27, 2007)

RockyGlen said:


> You can check with your public school - many states do offer therapy to homeschooled students. You take your child to the school for therapy, but do not have to enroll them in school. The quality and quantity of the therapy is going to vary by the school system.
> 
> Our school system offers pathetic therapy - once a week group therapy for 20 minutes. Not enough...not even close. Our insurance paid for a tiny amount of therapy, so we used most of that and built a good relationship with his OT, PT, and SLP. Once that runs out each year we provide all the therapy and visit the therapists out of pocket every quarter for progress checks and new directions.
> 
> ...


I second the handwriting without tears and math u see. I would also recomment explode the code. Most kids on the spectrum do well on the computer and etc has books you can do at home, but they also have in online. My Ds loves the online version and it follows what he's learning in the books.


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## Sonshine (Jul 27, 2007)

Seeria said:


> Our best and our hugs for you and family. We've two autistics, one that was seriously low functioning (she's high now) in the beginning and the other that was high but is considered PDDNOS now.
> 
> My two bits... do NOT put them into public school. We bent and tried that for two years. What were sweet children became rude, crude, nasty children and one sank into depression, his confidence totally destroyed. The social setting is just not healthy for autistics. If you do, I suggest you ask to see what tools they use, as in straps, jackets, closests, rafton chairs, paddles, etc. It's amazing how many "programs" find it okay to tie up children, isolate them, abuse them to get results. Then there are the social contacts with outside the classroom children. Really, you try to explain to an autistic why it is not acceptable to do this or that--social graces from other peoples children are unhealthy for autistics.
> 
> ...


My Ds had made up his own language too. We called it Tylernese. LOL He finally started speaking at the age of 5


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