# Have you ever known someone with Anuptaphobia?



## Shrek (May 1, 2002)

A guy I know has been married 9 times in under 30 years and paying child support on 4 of his 7 kids since 3 are over 18 now.

This dude marries every one to 3 years and remarries within 6 weeks of his most recent
divorce being final.

The other day after hearing he was engaged again and one of the guys joking about he bet the lining of the guy's wedding suit has broken wedding band decals like the Rising Sun decals on a WWII fighter ace plane, I told him that maybe he was Anuptaphobic.

As some started searching their phones for the definition, I told them I learned about it while dating and finding myself with a woman who showed the traits and using coaching from a psych instructor I knew to avoid an improve production of Lethal Attraction as I put distance between me and her.

So how many have seen folks who were possibly anuptaphobic?


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## Allen W (Aug 2, 2008)

That could cover a person or two maybe more whom I know.


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## whiterock (Mar 26, 2003)

I had a cousin that maried the same woman 3 times that I know of. Does that count?


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

I stopped at 3 lol. SO FAR LOL. Last was from 74 to 88, so its been awhile


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## IndyDave (Jul 17, 2017)

I have to wonder how many people who demonstrate such behavior have a fear per se of being single and how many simply don't like being alone. For example, I have a brother who can't manage without being in a relationship, but his problem is wider than that in that he just doesn't deal well with being alone. If he needs to work on something at the shop, even if I can't help him in any way, shape, or form with actually doing the work, if I simply go down and sit on a chair he will be more productive and focused than he would be alone.


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## ShannonR (Nov 28, 2012)

I have quite an opposite issue...... my problem is with commitment!


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## Shrek (May 1, 2002)

ShannonR said:


> I have quite an opposite issue...... my problem is with commitment!


If you want to call your aversion to relationships a phobia as I recall the instructor explaining, that phobia is called gamophobia . Maybe the phobia name is where the slang term "playa" for one who bounces around relationships and says "Don't hate the playa. Just hate the game." came from.

I laughed when I asked that psych instructor if there was anything the head shrinkers couldn't call a phobia and he said to "Shut up. The folks with phobia keep the roof over the heads and food on the table of me, the wife and the kids."


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## ShannonR (Nov 28, 2012)

LOL!!! That psych instructor was spot on, though....hahahah

While we're on the topic, what's a phobia of trust called?


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## ShannonR (Nov 28, 2012)

Ohhhh, so Yeah. Nevermind then!! I answered my own question.
http://www.lovepanky.com/my-life/relationships/pistanthrophobia-fear-of-trusting-someone

I can't say I'm THAT psychotic....thankfully


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Dave, it was that way with my neighbor when I lived where I usta. he thought he was a real mechanic, and could do some stuff, but every time I went up there to have him do something for me cause im definatly NO mechanic, hed be working on something, and if I sat their for awhile and got a grip on what he was trying to do, I could offer an idea he hadn't thought of. I said to him a couple of times, that he and I made 1 1/2 past mechanic
I defiantly can get more done when my boys here than I can get done by myself. AND I feel like doing more when hes here than I feel like doing when nobodys here.


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## IndyDave (Jul 17, 2017)

FarmboyBill said:


> Dave, it was that way with my neighbor when I lived where I usta. he thought he was a real mechanic, and could do some stuff, but every time I went up there to have him do something for me cause im definatly NO mechanic, hed be working on something, and if I sat their for awhile and got a grip on what he was trying to do, I could offer an idea he hadn't thought of. I said to him a couple of times, that he and I made 1 1/2 past mechanic
> I defiantly can get more done when my boys here than I can get done by myself. AND I feel like doing more when hes here than I feel like doing when nobodys here.


My brother is an excellent mechanic. As far as contributing to the thinking side of the job, once in a great while I can help largely through the outside of the box thinking that comes with not really understanding something and fiddling with it from a clean slate, but generally, the best help I can give is just keeping him from being alone in the shop. He just doesn't deal with it well.


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## ShannonR (Nov 28, 2012)

IndyDave said:


> My brother is an excellent mechanic. As far as contributing to the thinking side of the job, once in a great while I can help largely through the outside of the box thinking that comes with not really understanding something and fiddling with it from a clean slate, but generally, the best help I can give is just keeping him from being alone in the shop. He just doesn't deal with it well.


I also know somebody like this. I used to think he thought of his life as a populariry contest....then I figured it was some kind of anxiety thing he has going on in his head. I'm still not sure exactly what his deal is...but to each their own!


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## hunter63 (Jan 4, 2005)

Sorry can't relate......
Know a couple of people (won't say friends as those people make crappy friends as well.....)

I feel sorry for those that have that problem as they lose 1/2 their stuff every 2 years....

I love DW dearly, ...but we do pizz each other off everyone in a while......but we still have our stuff.


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## IndyDave (Jul 17, 2017)

hunter63 said:


> Sorry can't relate......
> Know a couple of people (won't say friends as those people make crappy friends as well.....)
> 
> *I feel sorry for those that have that problem as they lose 1/2 their stuff every 2 years....*
> ...


If you do it right, they should bring enough stuff that you break even!


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## GTX63 (Dec 13, 2016)

Yep, had a buddy of mine years ago. He had wives like I used to have girl friends. Married a woman and they split after 2 years. Moved into my area and married a woman within 6 months. Had two kids and they split after about 4 years. Got him into our church and he married a woman there after about 8 months 20 years his junior. Marriage lasted a little over a year. Got involved with another woman from work right away but she wised up before crossing the line and they split after 6 months of living together. Ended up with a woman I went to highschool with. They married and he immediately had a stroke, which put him on disability. He can't leave this one as he needs constant care and she is a drill sargeant with the face of a bulldog and two bratty teenagers. I can't say he is real happy but he burned thru his options and now he has only the cards left in his hand.


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## hunter63 (Jan 4, 2005)

IndyDave said:


> If you do it right, they should bring enough stuff that you break even!


OK, let me qualify this next statement....for those that can't recognize or take a joke....
I'm joking.....
Marry money....and if you do it enough times.......You can retire, and just have girlfriends.


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## Allen W (Aug 2, 2008)

This post reminded me of my neighbors son, and his last adventure with marriage, okay the bum is almost 60 and living at home for the past few years with his parents. 

He found himself one in the Philippines, went and seen her and spent a month everything went fine. She degree in the medical field, his plans was to find her a job to support him and keep her under his thumb. He got her back here and she wanted a baby apparently he had realized Mommy and Daddy weren't likely to live long enough to pay his child support for this one like they did the other 4, so he didn't want one. One night she wanted to work on the baby project and he didn't, she ended up with bruises. He was arrested and she went to her mother's in California. I don't think she was here a month.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Dave, what you wrote bout helping your bro, was just the same way I helped my neighbor. Looking at a problem, THAT ISNT YOUR PROBLEM from a distance, you can a lot of times see a solution easier than one looking point blank at THEIR problem


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## IndyDave (Jul 17, 2017)

FarmboyBill said:


> Dave, what you wrote bout helping your bro, was just the same way I helped my neighbor. Looking at a problem, THAT ISNT YOUR PROBLEM from a distance, you can a lot of times see a solution easier than one looking point blank at THEIR problem


In my situation, it's not that simple. Between two of my brothers and I, there is a lot of social and economic interdependence. In the attempt of making a long, complex story short and simple, when our dad died a few years ago, one brother was all about cashing out and running and the other three of us managed to keep the family business and farm by not really dividing our shares and continuing together. We balance each other and fill in gaps for each other, and this works all the way around. All three of us have our issues including in my case not being able to work a conventional job on a rigid schedule in the physical condition I am in.


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## Allen W (Aug 2, 2008)

IndyDave said:


> In my situation, it's not that simple. Between two of my brothers and I, there is a lot of social and economic interdependence. In the attempt of making a long, complex story short and simple, when our dad died a few years ago, one brother was all about cashing out and running and the other three of us managed to keep the family business and farm by not really dividing our shares and continuing together. We balance each other and fill in gaps for each other, and this works all the way around. All three of us have our issues including in my case not being able to work a conventional job on a rigid schedule in the physical condition I am in.


Your fortunate to be able to work with your brothers and keep the family business and farm together. It's not going to work out that way in my case.


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## reubenT (Feb 28, 2012)

I know people sort of like that. But myself is the exact opposite. I work best alone, someone being around watching or "helping" is usually a distraction and I get little done. I never had a serious relationship, never married and don't feel the need of it much. But on the other hand I kind of think I should someday. I kind of sense that insecurity in childhood can contribute to an excessively strong desire for companionship (love) and lack of wisdom as to who that companionship is made with. I had a very secure childhood, a lot of parental love, and don't feel any need that way.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

thinking, in my case, you are likely spot on.


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## momgoat (Jan 15, 2013)

IndyDave said:


> I have to wonder how many people who demonstrate such behavior have a fear per se of being single and how many simply don't like being alone. For example, I have a brother who can't manage without being in a relationship, but his problem is wider than that in that he just doesn't deal well with being alone. If he needs to work on something at the shop, even if I can't help him in any way, shape, or form with actually doing the work, if I simply go down and sit on a chair he will be more productive and focused than he would be alone.


I think my landlord was like this. He was married at least twice or the last one was #3. But she was in it the money, he was a farmer, she thought he was rich. But she didn't really love him & it showed in her treatment of him, especially when he ended up with Alzheimer's. It was horrible to watch her treatment of him. I intervened every chance I got. I asked him why he put up with her one time. He told me he didn't want to die alone. I told him he wouldn't, I said I'd rather be alone then die miserably unhappy. Told him he could divorce from her & I'd take him down to the Senior Citizens Center or we'd go to a Church he liked & find him a caring woman to be with.
Unfortunately, he never did. And by the time his wife died, he was already headlong into Alzheimer's. He didn't like her, didn't trust her & didn't know her. I think he could have derailed that disease if he would have been with someone who loved him as much as he loved them, he did love her.


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## momgoat (Jan 15, 2013)

ShannonR said:


> Ohhhh, so Yeah. Nevermind then!! I answered my own question.
> http://www.lovepanky.com/my-life/relationships/pistanthrophobia-fear-of-trusting-someone
> 
> I can't say I'm THAT psychotic....thankfully


LOL
I'm not either, but unfortunately the fear of trust or lack of it, I do have. Along with the other issue they brought up in the article about the fear of being cheated on. Both of them well earned (not sure if I should have "earned the phobia of not trusting") & both of them accurate. Sucks not being able to trust due to someone else's selfish behavior of being unfaithful.


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## momgoat (Jan 15, 2013)

Shrek said:


> A guy I know has been married 9 times in under 30 years and paying child support on 4 of his 7 kids since 3 are over 18 now.
> 
> So how many have seen folks who were possibly anuptaphobic?


I have a friend who might have the Anuptaphobia. After his first divorce with his high school sweetheart, he's definitely been married a lot. The last one seemed to only last a few years. He boasts about liking to be single, just never seems to actually stay that way.
Ex-hubby might be the same. I was #2, but I think he's up to #5 now. I know at least 2 were from other countries.

I'm on #2 & if/when this ends......there's not going to be a #3. Its not worth the headache. I am not real impressed with dying single, but then again.....I'm not really impressed with being married & miserable either. I don't mind being alone as I am my own good company. LOL


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## Lisa in WA (Oct 11, 2004)

Shrek said:


> A guy I know has been married 9 times in under 30 years and paying child support on 4 of his 7 kids since 3 are over 18 now.
> 
> This dude marries every one to 3 years and remarries within 6 weeks of his most recent
> divorce being final.
> ...



No, but I know of a few people with Kakologophobia and thus tend to see profanity behind every bush and tree.

ETA: in case of misunderstanding, bush meaning shrub.


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## IndyDave (Jul 17, 2017)

Lisa in WA said:


> No, but I know of a few people with Kakologophobia and thus tend to see profanity behind every bush and tree.
> 
> *ETA: in case of misunderstanding, bush meaning shrub.*


I never suspected for an instant that you spoke of hiding swear words behind George!


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

A lot of people did when we went to war with Iraq. Many still are LOL.


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## Tobster (Feb 24, 2009)

I find it fascinating that someone would agree to marry a person who has 9 failed marriages.


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## ShannonR (Nov 28, 2012)

Tobster said:


> I find it fascinating that someone would agree to marry a person who has 9 failed marriages.


This!!!


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Well, whatcha don't know, ya don't know till later lol


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## IndyDave (Jul 17, 2017)

Good points from both of you. I can't see anyone voluntarily marrying someone with such an abysmal track record (tends to indicate where the problem is), but I can easily see someone being open about having an ex while failing to mention the 8 additional exes standing behind her.


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