# Change of Plans



## Karen (Apr 17, 2002)

My husband and I have been prepping for 10 years. It was a big stash! A few months ago, life took us in a direction we didn't see coming with health issues and medical bills. We found that it doesn't matter how much savings you have, a series of severe health issues can wipe you out faster than you could ever imagine.

Our daughter and son-in-law asked us to move in with them, which we reluctantly did. It's hard to loose your independence and depend on others. After all, that's what all this prepping was about! 

Well, the kids aren't preppers and always thought we were nuts for doing so. We did bring most of our preps, but it has not gone over well. Although they are the greatest and most thoughtful kids in the world, they don't understand that by just having those preps it makes us feel better and secure. When you old, security means a lot and having lost most of our security, it may sound crazy, but I guess our preps are the last of our "security and savings". 

But I don't want it to be a point on contention (to say nothing of a HUGE problem of space to store them). I'm not sure if we should be more insistent on keeping them, downsize them (which makes me nervous), or just give them all up entirely since we're getting old and probably wouldn't survive a major SHTF anyway.

None of the prep books prepare you for what to do in old age.


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## Roadking (Oct 8, 2009)

Sorry to hear that Karen...life ca always find a curve ball to throw at you...just gotta take good aim at it and try your hardest to hit it out of the park.
Look on the plus side; you have kids that care for you. Okay, they may not agree with your lifestyle, but they still want to be there for you and help you.
Don't know what else to say other than best of luck.
Sorry for the baseball analogy...it just hit me, and I'm not even a baseball fan.

Matt


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## KentuckyDreamer (Jan 20, 2012)

Your posts tears at my heart for several reasons. I have no answers but truly understand and pray things work out for everyone. 

Right now I must move, it is the only financially prudent thing to do. I am so concerned over my room of preps, I know I just cannot let them go. It is not only for the future, it stands for my very life these past three years. To loose my preps is like having wasted so much of my life ( and money ).


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## bigjon (Oct 2, 2013)

just had the oldage talk with my dd.u won't move here will u dad.nope.have'nt lived in a city since I was 4.my heart goes out to u dear!maybe I should open a home/village for old preppers!


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## Welshmom (Sep 7, 2008)

Don't know exactly what your preps consist of - food, tools, clothes, equipment, books...? How much room does it take up? If your kids don't want the things cluttering up their space, that is something to consider. You say you are old - maybe be a bit flexible given your advanced age and the possibilities that you may outlive many of your preps. Can you turn some of your preps into cash? Money, after all, can be a very good prep indeed. Is there any possibility the kids could put any of it to use themselves? If it's stuff like toilet paper, fuel, etc., it's likely they might find it a nice contribution to the blended household. But if it's more personal stuff, you just might have to either move it off site to a storage locker or sell some of it??

You're right, none of the books or sites talk about what to do when you are old. It's an important topic.


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## Jim-mi (May 15, 2002)

Could you build a "small shed" to house your stuff in . . ??

Wish you well..........


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## Karen (Apr 17, 2002)

I'm okay about the moving and the way things are. First, I'm one of those people who can live just about anywhere and find joy in being where I am. I can always find something to do to keep from getting bored or depressed. Plus I'm just so thankful we have great kids that actually want us instead of us being an "obligation". There aren't many kids left in this world that would do this for their parents and be happy about it. We all get along really well, that's why I don't want to press the issue of the preps too much.

As far as what we have, it's an entire shed full (but SIL doesn't like it filled with preps) of a years worth of food of paper goods, oil lamps, and just about anything you can imagine, including enough first aid equipment we could do surgery and dental work..lol. We lived extremely rural (still do here too). It's in the mountains and 30 miles (one way) to any stores, hospitals, gas stations, etc. So, being handicap to begin with, we have always planned for whatever TEOTWAWKIN event happened, we would need to dig in and stay put for a long period of time. 

I have no problem turning it into cash, but that would defeat the purpose of having preps to bug in. I've learned through these last couple of years that cash is no security. 

Our kids are great, but they are like many others now days that they are so use to exactly the things they want. It's name brand this, designer that, and God forbid should you ever even consider eating a freeze dried green bean one day! Or the toilet paper isn't Charmin??? Eat off of paper plates?? Grind your own flour??? For what you ask? "Bread", I replied. You mean actually make bread??? You get that at the store. 

We can't convince them bread won't be in the stores and how are you going to get there anyway when TSHTF. They think I'm a wacked out old hippie from smoking too much weed back in the 60's and Dad is okay but he's a hoarder..LOL. Like most of the world, they think nothing that bad will ever happen and if it does, surely someone from the government will come as save us. We can't seem to bring them into reality. For some odd reason these preps irritate them.


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## Karen (Apr 17, 2002)

bigjon said:


> ...maybe I should open a home/village for old preppers!


OMG!! I'm in!! What time is Pinochle and Bridge?


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## manygoatsnmore (Feb 12, 2005)

I was leaning toward suggesting you rent a storage unit until I read where it's 30 miles to town. That kind of negates that option. Is the shed your preps are in now owned by your kids? Do they want to put it to a different use? Is buying another shed, just for your own things, whatever they may be, an option? Something that if it bugs your sil that you have preps, you can say, "Don't worry about it - it's not in your space." Hopefully, after a time, out of sight, out of mind will kick in.

And if you die with all your preps intact, you win. If they chose to throw them all away after you're gone, not your circus, not your monkeys. If TSHTF and you all need those preps, your kids will figure out really fast just how smart Mom and Dad were and are.


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## Harry Chickpea (Dec 19, 2008)

"My husband and I have been prepping for 10 years. It was a big stash! A few months ago, life took us in a direction we didn't see coming with health issues and medical bills. We found that it doesn't matter how much savings you have, a series of severe health issues can wipe you out faster than you could ever imagine."

Precisely why our place is owned 100%, protected by Homestead laws, and in a low tax area. Precisely why the health insurance I have is high deductible, but once I hit that it pays 100%. The out-of-pocket cap on health insurance is one of the key things to look for in a policy. It isn't foolproof, and it doesn't address all possibilities but can help weather a crisis or two. Life throws curve balls and the rules ain't always fair.


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## Wolf mom (Mar 8, 2005)

Sorry about the issues that brought you to this point. 

Sometimes you just have to do what makes you comfortable and not talk about it. Sorta like agree to disagree. Wait until an emergency and they need something & it's right there for them from your stash.


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## Shrek (May 1, 2002)

I started prepping in my first singles apartment by stocking up on canned goods 3 months after getting settled in By the end of the year I had 800 extra cans stashed in my kitchen and under my bed that I was rotating sock out and into.


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

Harry Chickpea said:


> Precisely why our place is owned 100%, protected by Homestead laws, and in a low tax area. Precisely why the health insurance I have is high deductible, but once I hit that it pays 100%. The out-of-pocket cap on health insurance is one of the key things to look for in a policy. It isn't foolproof, and it doesn't address all possibilities but can help weather a crisis or two. *Life throws curve balls and the rules ain't always fair.*


Life threw a maltov cocktail at me.....

I recently sold my grain mill and about 400lbs of food.
I gave away / donated / threw away all of my gardening/ canning / homesteading type stuff. 

My "security" was wrapped too tightly to my preps. 
The ex provided ZERO security, so I had to have 'something'.
Upon further review? 
I decided to let all of the tangibles go, and allow the Lord to be my sole security.
Now, ditching all my stuff may have been a bad idea.
But it has brought me a level of peace, and drawn me closer in Faith so, it's not a bad thing for me......

It's a tough lesson, life.
It's a blessing to have someone to share it with, no matter how bumpy the ride!


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## DW (May 10, 2002)

I think it's cool your kids want you...I would never have wanted my MIL but I know she would have come if asked. We no longer need to worry about this. Sneak in a few surprises...like homemade bread...everyone I know loves it!


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## belladulcinea (Jun 21, 2006)

Keep what you can in your room under your bed or stashed here and there, then let the rest go.


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## Cindy in NY (May 10, 2002)

Yes, grind some wheat and make some bread. Your s-i-l may never go back to store bought bread!!

If you can afford it and if there is room, buy a shed just for your stuff. Problem solved!


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## bigjon (Oct 2, 2013)

:nanner:amenities are included-heated pool-target range-15 acres to divvy up for gardens (sandy LOAM)soil.wood heat?no prob.own 15 acres of woods also.nice clear well water.everything on one floor-yup no stairs to go potty!:nanner:


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## Jim-mi (May 15, 2002)

Doesn't take too much tinfoil to see that down the road there will be absolutely no choice between which is better . . A not so green dollar bill . . or a sack of bread flower.......
Do to a current issue I am going thru, my stash of first-aid stuff is absolutely necessary.
Turning the medical stuff back into "cash" is a bad idea...........one never knows the next curve in the road............


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## TnAndy (Sep 15, 2005)

Harry Chickpea said:


> Precisely why our place is owned 100%, protected by Homestead laws, and in a low tax area. Precisely why the health insurance I have is high deductible, but once I hit that it pays 100%. The out-of-pocket cap on health insurance is one of the key things to look for in a policy. It isn't foolproof, and it doesn't address all possibilities but can help weather a crisis or two. Life throws curve balls and the rules ain't always fair.


Harry,

Ours is 100% owned, except the yearly county tax 'rent', which is fairly low, and I think we have covered for the rest of our lives. We also have good health insurance, and I really don't worry about some too catastrophic along that line.

What I wonder about is simply age. Right now, mid 60's, we get along fine. But add 15-20 years to that, and how will we garden, get in the firewood, etc ? I know we can cut back on a lot of it, but just don't want to.

Who has that one solved ?


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## BlackFeather (Jun 17, 2014)

Tell them to humor you in your old age, I suspect in a year or so they may begin to see the value of being prepared. They like the vast majority of Americans think that life has always been good so it will stay that way. It is called the normalcy bias. It was the same during the 20's life was good, the stock market went higher and higher then the depression struck and life wasn't so good anymore. Some people couldn't cope and jumped out of windows. People are distracted today and don't know what is really going on. Marx said "religion was the opiate of the masses" but he had it wrong. I used to think sports were the opiate of the masses, after all we all know of bread and circuses, but it is even more than that today. It's now television is the opiate of the masses and instead of bread it is food stamps. Some day historians will call it "food stamps and television" not "bread and circuses", to keep the people from rioting. The problem is you probably can't wake up your daughter and son in law until life gets tough for them. I fear if you told them "what's happening in Venezuela will happen here in the future," they would probably not even now what was happening there. For your own sake, find a way to keep your preparations, even if you have to get a storage box, or old van in the driveway to put them in.


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## where I want to (Oct 28, 2008)

Harry Chickpea said:


> "My husband and I have been prepping for 10 years. It was a big stash! A few months ago, life took us in a direction we didn't see coming with health issues and medical bills. We found that it doesn't matter how much savings you have, a series of severe health issues can wipe you out faster than you could ever imagine."
> 
> Precisely why our place is owned 100%, protected by Homestead laws, and in a low tax area. Precisely why the health insurance I have is high deductible, but once I hit that it pays 100%. The out-of-pocket cap on health insurance is one of the key things to look for in a policy. It isn't foolproof, and it doesn't address all possibilities but can help weather a crisis or two. Life throws curve balls and the rules ain't always fair.


Unfortunately there are many expenses not cover by insurance especially for those living out in the country. For example I had to travel to San Francisco a bunch of times to see a specialist and have surgery. I had to pay for travel and hotel and taxis and restaurants etc. I needed a medication not covered and some OTC supplements. Then I had to pay for some services at home that I would have previously been able to do myself. Then there was a vet bill inflated by the dog needing treatment but having to stay at the vets as I was not there to take care of her.
There are many twists that all the plans in the world miss.


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## mzgarden (Mar 16, 2012)

I have no suggestions but wanted to say I will pray for you and your family to find a middle ground.

and to recognize you make a very good point about no one talking about your new situation. 
_"None of the prep books prepare you for what to do in old age."_

Would you be interested in writing an e-book or blog about this new turn in your life? What you learn may help others.


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## where I want to (Oct 28, 2008)

I agree that right now your kids are your "preps." But terming something in others ways might make it more acceptable to them to keep some things. Like home canned doesn't have so many additives or home made bread is so tasty. Also a solar whatever is a safety item. 
You obviously raised them well but that still doesn't mean they don't have a few hot button words left from childhood. 
But thinking strategically about which are most valuable to you in your current situation is just another challenge for the prepper.


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## Karen (Apr 17, 2002)

where I want to said:


> Unfortunately there are many expenses not cover by insurance especially for those living out in the country. For example I had to travel to San Francisco a bunch of times to see a specialist and have surgery. I had to pay for travel and hotel and taxis and restaurants etc. I needed a medication not covered and some OTC supplements. Then I had to pay for some services at home that I would have previously been able to do myself. Then there was a vet bill inflated by the dog needing treatment but having to stay at the vets as I was not there to take care of her.
> There are many twists that all the plans in the world miss.


Precisely. We live in a county so rural we have only one health insurance company under medicare. It's lousy insurance, but better than nothing. But when your prescriptions cost over $1,000 month and you hit your donut hole in the first 3 months, you go through money like it's water.

Believe me, it wasn't poor planning. It was life. And that's fine, I'm not complaining about that; again, it is what it is and a lot of other people are a whole lot worst off. I'm grateful for not only those good years, but I can find a lot of joy in not-so-good days too. There are blessings in all things.

BTW, the shed is ours. It's just they would like to use it for other things since storage is a problem with their house being kind of small. There is no other place for a shed as it's mountainy land and no more even semi-level places to put it -- let alone get down to it. One of those places with 2 acres of beautiful property and only about 1/4 acre useable. But views are fabulous!

I'm just trying to figure out how to compromise on something I feel is not safe to compromise about. Or whether it really is just not worth and let the chips fall where they will when SHTF happens. I'm all for allowing God to take care of us, but I believe the Bible tells us that a condition of that in bad times, is to be wise enough to prepare for it when we could - as best as we could. I so torn about is the best thing to do.


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## Karen (Apr 17, 2002)

mzgarden said:


> I have no suggestions but wanted to say I will pray for you and your family to find a middle ground.
> 
> and to recognize you make a very good point about no one talking about your new situation.
> _"None of the prep books prepare you for what to do in old age."_
> ...


Thank you so much, I appreciate your kindness in praying for us. You know, that's a good idea about writing about it. I may just do that. Well, once I figure out what _to do_..LOL!


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## Karen (Apr 17, 2002)

where I want to said:


> I agree that right now your kids are your "preps." But terming something in others ways might make it more acceptable to them to keep some things. Like home canned doesn't have so many additives or home made bread is so tasty. Also a solar whatever is a safety item.
> You obviously raised them well but that still doesn't mean they don't have a few hot button words left from childhood.
> But thinking strategically about which are most valuable to you in your current situation is just another challenge for the prepper.


Oh believe me I have! LOL Would you believe they don't even like homemade bread??? How can someone not like homemade bread??? IMHO, it's all in their heads. They just don't want to believe anything that bad can happen that you would need to prep for. It happens in other parts of the world; it doesn't happen here in America.


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## where I want to (Oct 28, 2008)

Karen said:


> I'm just trying to figure out how to compromise on something I feel is not safe to compromise about. Or whether it really is just not worth and let the chips fall where they will when SHTF happens. I'm all for allowing God to take care of us, but I believe the Bible tells us that a condition of that in bad times, is to be wise enough to prepare for it when we could - as best as we could. I so torn about is the best thing to do.


Out of that tension will come the answer. I hope that you can find it soon as illness is enough all by itself without other stresses.


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## manygoatsnmore (Feb 12, 2005)

I think that if the shed is yours, it is up to you how it is used. If you own the shed, did you move it to their land when you moved? Was it the understanding then, you would use it to store your belongings that would not fit in their home? If so, what belongings you chose to share should be a non-issue. You should not have to give up all you own to live with them, and they should not have to give up all they own to have you there. A compromise that your shed holds your belongings, and you limit your belongings to your bedroom and your shed, maybe?

I understand the storage problem of having a small house and little useable land. I also know that a shed can be put on pillars to allow a near vertical piece of land to hold a horizontal building.


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## Jim-mi (May 15, 2002)

Are you sure you could live "fulltime" with them if their standards are causing such a lump in your throat------going against what your life maturity has taught you....??

That was kinda tough to say to you . . .but it is for you a stress factor.........

I know the rebel in me would show if someone were poo-pooing something as simple as homemade bread..............


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## Solar Geek (Mar 14, 2014)

Maybe while they are at work you could use your preps (and only your preps to prove the point) and make their favorite meal and dessert? Surprise them when they come home?

And maybe make some freezer meals also for the next few days?

Re no info on ageing in place, Countryside Magazine did almost a whole issue on it last year. Here is one of the articles

http://www.countrysidemag.com/97-2/growing_old_in_the_new_normal/

I think it was last year that they did that issue. I cannot find it online but will post if I do.

So sorry for your turn of events.


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## terri9630 (Mar 12, 2012)

Did they have a shed before you moved yours in? How did they deal with storage before that?


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## Ann-NWIowa (Sep 28, 2002)

TnAndy said:


> Harry,
> 
> Ours is 100% owned, except the yearly county tax 'rent', which is fairly low, and I think we have covered for the rest of our lives. We also have good health insurance, and I really don't worry about some too catastrophic along that line.
> 
> ...


 You just have to adapt as necessary. Ask for help or hire help. Change the way you do things. Give up some things. Set up a back up option for heating for when you can no longer manage wood.

Is your home handicapped accessible? If not, consider doing modifications now. Almost always bathroom doors are too narrow. Bath tubs are dangerous so maybe you could replace with a walk in or roll in shower. Add grab bars. Buy and store handicap equipment -- bath bench, commode, safety bars for toilet, walker, blood pressure cuff, etc. These items can be purchased for very little at auctions and thrift stores. If you have a fall, having your home accessible could make the difference between coming back home or going to a nursing home.

My dh is totally disabled and I am struggling with many issues. I'm very determined to have my garden, but will need assistance with the tilling and setting of posts. I will have to hire someone to do the mowing. Last year I eliminated one large flower bed to make mowing easier and to reduce the weeding because I have so little time. Having to do everything that dh did around here (as much as I can) plus what I've always done plus his care doesn't leave me much time or energy. I continue adapting and eliminating.


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## tab (Aug 20, 2002)

Karen, could you have a sit down talk, heart to heart? Explain what you have told us here. Ask for respect of important issues. As pointed out, you are bringing your storage with you and you are loosing a lot but trying to stay positive. This is your savings and investment and a way of life. Point out you are willing to help and yet not be intrusive. Plead your case with love. If this cannot be worked out, it may be just the beginning and I hate saying that. I might respectfully ask why they feel that your investment must go. I think you have a kind manner that just needs a tiny bit of assertiveness. I hope for better times for you and that this issue fades.


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## Maura (Jun 6, 2004)

For you, it has hit the fan. This is the rainy day. Use the preps. As suggested above, do some cooking using your preps. Think of the money it will save them in food. You canât really change some oneâs mind by hitting them over the head, but in the future your kids will remember how the warm bread smelled, how good the beans were, etc., and think about doing a little stocking themselves.

Also, if you start using the preps your SIL will feel better knowing he may some day get his shed back.


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## bigjon (Oct 2, 2013)

well I wish u luck settling in,right after the talk with dd?i came down with pneumonia.so i'm under house arrest! lol-i think....


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## Terri (May 10, 2002)

What Maura said!

Karen, this IS your SHTF. 

So, set aside just a little of your preps for things like bad weather, and use the rest. Cook a bit from your preps to give them a day off from cooking, set toilet paper in the bathrooms, and so forth. Only keep what is easy to store, like perhaps four rolls of TP, a couple pounds of rice, and so forth. 

we always have store bought bread, by the way. My family likes home made bread better but for sandwiches they prefer bought. That is fine with me: I can have both at the same time. I bake bread and people eat it with butter, and I buy bread and they turn that bread into sandwiches. 

I also have a bit of cash locked up, as does my husband. That is money that cannot be taken from the bank by an identity thief or by judicial decree. It is not much money but we will eat, and it stores in a really small space. 

This is your SHTF. So, if you have cocoa, sugar, flour, baking powder, and oil go make some dessert and tell them you have decided it is time to use that stuff. Then eat your preps GRADUALLY down but leave a little in case of ice storms or whatever.


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