# Military rules for Gunfights (funny)



## Huntinfamily (Aug 14, 2010)

USMC rules for Gunfighting

1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one. 
2. Decide to be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH. 
3. Have a plan. 
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work. 
5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet. 
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a "4." 
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive. 
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral and diagonal movement are preferred.) 
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible. 
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours. 
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose. 
12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived. 
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating or reloading. 
14. Someday someone may kill you with your own gun, but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty. 
15. And above all ... don't drop your guard. 

Navy Rules For Gunfighting 
1. Go to Sea 
2. Drink Coffee 
3. Send the Marines 

Army Rules For Gun fighting 
1. Select a new beret to wear 
2. Sew combat patch on right shoulder 
3. Reconsider the color of beret you decide to wear 
4. Send the Marines 

US Air Force Rules For Gunfighting 
1. Have a cocktail 
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner 
3. Determine "what is a gunfight" 
4. Send the Marines 


Yes, I am a pround Marine


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## chickenslayer (Apr 20, 2010)

The title of this thread should have been A Jarheads fantasy :grin::grin:


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## Huntinfamily (Aug 14, 2010)

A couple of famous quotes just for you Chickenslayer. Lol

Marines know how to use their bayonets. Army bayonets may as well be paper-weights. 
Navy Times; November 1994 


Do not attack the First Marine Division. Leave the yellowlegs alone. Strike the American Army. 
Orders given to Communist troops in the Korean War;
shortly afterward, the Marines were ordered
to not wear their khaki leggings.


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## deaconjim (Oct 31, 2005)

Navy rules for warfare (squids don't carry guns, unless of course they're Seals, which is another matter entirely):

1. Go to sea
2. Drink coffee
3. Press big red button
4. Watch target disappear
5. Refill coffee cup.


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## Qhorseman (Jul 9, 2010)

Remember no Marine ever gets on the beach until some squid said it was safe for them to go. The Beachmasters and Seals are there before a Marine ever sets foot on it  Yep, I am a Proud Sailor that served in the Gator Navy most of his career


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## Kiamichi Kid (Apr 9, 2009)

The Reason "Billy" Joined the marines??....Because you had to be able to READ in all the other Branches of the Armed Services


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## chickenslayer (Apr 20, 2010)

A large group of Taliban soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand-dune. "One Army Ranger is better than ten taliban". The Taliban commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune whereupon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence.
The voice then calls out "One Army Ranger is better than one hundred taliban". Furious, the Taliban commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gun fight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence.
The voice calls out again "One Army Ranger is better than one thousand Taliban". The enraged Taliban Commander musters one thousand fighters and sends them across the dune. Cannon, rocket and machine gun fire ring out as a huge battle is fought. Then silence.
Eventually one wounded Taliban fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more men, its a trap. There's actually two of them.


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## Huntinfamily (Aug 14, 2010)

Chickenslayer, I was gonna post this story but post it the way it REALLY happened. It wasn't Rangers behind that sand dune, it was Marines. It's ok though. Ya'll can be as jealous as you want. Just remember what President Reagan said: Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the Marines don't have that problem. 

Or maybe this one: The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of animals I have ever seen. Thank God for the United States Marine Corps! 
Eleanor Roosevelt, First Lady of the United States, 1945


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## chickenslayer (Apr 20, 2010)

Huntinfamily said:


> It wasn't Rangers behind that sand dune, it was Marines.


Well You are partially correct, the Marines were behind the Rangers behind the sand dune :drillsgt:


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## Qhorseman (Jul 9, 2010)

First time I heard that joke it was a platoon of Marines and two drunk sailors behind the sand dunes


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## tarbe (Apr 7, 2007)

On February 12th, 1918, *Army* General John J. "Black Jack" Pershing is quoted as saying "Why the hell can't the Army do it if the Marines can. They are the same kind of men; why can't they be like Marines." 

nuff said!


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## ace admirer (Oct 5, 2005)

Get there firstist with the mostist.


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## ROCKIN R FARM (Mar 29, 2010)

Any avaition types in here???
just wondering if everyone knew the varrious names the different branches have for a rotary winged aircraft ?

The Army calls them choppers
>
>
The Navy calls them helo's
>
>
The Air Force calls them helocopters 
>
>
The Marine Corps as the point to the sky in the direction of the inbound aircraft
simply call the UHG UUUGH UUGH UUUUGGGGHHHH !

ex sailor here 
But I love ya all like a brother " or sister" for the lady vets.


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## sammyd (Mar 11, 2007)

deaconjim said:


> Navy rules for warfare (squids don't carry guns, unless of course they're Seals, which is another matter entirely):
> 
> 1. Go to sea
> 2. Drink coffee
> ...


I guess the 45 we carried on quarterdeck watch was a toy, and maybe the shotguns they carried on the decks of the subs were paintball guns....

personally though I like the big red button approach


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## sammyd (Mar 11, 2007)

Qhorseman said:


> First time I heard that joke it was a platoon of Marines and two drunk sailors behind the sand dunes


when the duty officer gets a call from a Gunny about calling off his sailors before they hurt some marines you can believe it....


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## Wags (Jun 2, 2002)

I dunno - the Coasties that showed up at NAS Adak were something else. Marines & Saliors alike learned to give them a wide berth and Security always put on extra crew when the Coasties were in "town". Maybe it was because they hadn't seen anyone but their handful of shipmates for so long - but man did they LOVE to drink & fight!!!


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## Qhorseman (Jul 9, 2010)

I spent about a year with with the RAAF working on the F-18 program. Them guys make all of us look like amatuer hour  They are nuts, drink beer like water.


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## foaly (Jan 14, 2008)

I'm a Navy vet and daughter of a Marine. I won't argue with the Marine rules for gunfighting. My father was so adept at killing and never even flinched about it. He was a very interesting individual.

But I gotta say the Navy has the best uniforms! I told my father I couldn't join the corps.......green just isn't my color.


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