# Unschooling/Deschooling



## rhondajk (Apr 1, 2008)

You may remember I took my 7y/o DD out of school about a month ago. It has been interesting, frustrating at times, and exciting at times. I started out with a fairly simple schedule while I tried to get organized and learn what works best for DD. I planned for 9am to 12pm with a set schedule and found some resources I thought would work for us and set some goals. I had her take some math placement tests and found she was ready to learn multiplication . This is the place where I think, as a child, I became somewhat math phobic so, I was really worried about teaching it. I read about learning styles, both mine and hers, found some very visual web sites and jumped in, she loved it and soon math was all she wanted to do. I kept trying to push the other goals I had set and she became more and more resistant. First the 15 minutes of typing practice became an issue, so I encouraged her to listen to music while she practiced and that worked for a couple of days, but still it was a fight to get her started and keep her focused for 15 minutes. I realized that learning to type wasn't worth the effort and frustration it was causing both of us. Spelling/vocabulary went well the first two weeks, then became an issue so I found a couple of new games and we squeaked through the 3rd week grudgingly. I introduced division in math and kept having her do a 5 minute practice session daily on the computer for multiplication. My thinking was just keep the short practice sessions and take all of the time needed to learn the times tables without burning her out. I have introduced new games for the daily practice, and we have made our own flashcards but I can tell she is getting bored with it and wants to learn something new. Our planned study of owls lasted about a week, the reading together and disscussing lasted about two weeks before it too became a chore that she whined about. We have been making weekly trips to the library but she really isn't interested in reading anything or finding any new books. 

The things that have been most successful--using an interest that she mentions casually and helping her to find the answers to questions and then explore the topic. Last week it was geology & rock collecting. We did an experiment making salt and sugar crystals, made our own rock polisher, we looked at a basket of rocks and tried to identify how they formed, watched animations on how rocks are formed. This week it started with a caterpillar, we researched what kind it was, what it ate, what it needs to survive and turn into a moth. Tomorrow we are going to build a screened house for it. We have also talked about taking pictures of how we build it and making a posterboard about what we are learning and entering it into our county fair.

When we started this journey into homeschooling I read about unschooling and deschooling but, I thought I couldn't ever do that.  Now I am thinking it may be what she needs. I am a sequential kind of thinker/learner who likes some schedules and routines, I am not extremely rigid but, I am definately more comfortable with a plan to follow. DD is a very visual hands-on learner with a very low tolerance for frustration or boredom. 

I am reading and researching about unschooling right now and would love input from people who do it, have tried it, or who use a mix of structured learning and interest driven learning. What works for you, what doesn't, what subjects do you use texts for, how do you teach the basics of writing, spelling, grammer, punctuation without daily or weekly practice? How do I let go?????

Rhonda


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## Sonshine (Jul 27, 2007)

When we got custody of a 14 yr old girl, I took her from public school to homeschool her. She didn't complain about the work, but she just wasn't getting it and retaining it. We did a very eclectic style of schooling. It took more work and research on my part though. I asked her what her interests were and basically designed a curriculum around that. She was interested in archeology and wanted to become an FBI agent. So, we studied ancient Egypt. She did an investigation into the death of King Tut and had to write a report on her findings. She studied 3 different pyramids, wrote reports on them, then built one to scale. She learned the process of mummification and mummified a chicken, she learned some about hyroglyphics and wrote a song for the dead with it. She also made a nameplate in hyropglyphics. We covered all the basics required for two semesters. The rest of the year she studied the western expansion, using the same methods. By the end of the first year she was use to schooling at home and was able to transition into a more scheduled curriculum.


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## Tracy Rimmer (May 9, 2002)

This is why I tell people to deschool. EVERYONE thinks "that's not for us!" or "we're bringing him home BECAUSE he's not doing anything at school!". The first flush is fun, and then, the honeymoon is over, and your child begins to resist and, eventually, fight you on EVERYTHING.

They need time to separate the classroom experience from the "home" experience. Your daughter has just realized that, fun or not, what she's doing is a LOT LIKE SCHOOL, and school is supposed to be hated (all the tween television shows and books say so, so you're not NORMAL if you actually LIKE IT!) Deschooling gives them time to adjust, both mentally and emotionally. It's very important.

The good thing? It's not too late. Stop now. Organize a few fun learning experiences that are NOTHING like academics. Go to the zoo. Watch documentaries. Plant a garden. Teach her how to knit. Get some fish and a fish tank.

A good rule of thumb is one month for every year they've been in public school (and DO count preschool!), as a MINIMUM. After that, start watching for signs, and she'll let you know when she's ready -- even if she doesn't know that that is what she's doing.


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## rhondajk (Apr 1, 2008)

Thanks Sonshine, I am really excited when I see her enjoying learning again and interested. I am also finding it takes more time and research on my part to put together something that does hold her interest and expand the topic beyond her initial question.

What I have been seeing on various web sites is that there are stages to deschooling and most of the time it's the parent who needs to unschool. I think that's where I'm at.


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## rhondajk (Apr 1, 2008)

Tracy do you think that she will be able to return to a more structured cirriculum after at least 5 months off or should I still be thinking about unschooling? I am still considering the virtual school program and we should be signing up for it this month if we decide to give it a try. It would also involve taking some placement tests online before school started.

Rhonda


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## Tracy Rimmer (May 9, 2002)

Rhonda -- at seven, after five months, she should be, but every child is different. If her "exit" from the classroom was traumatic, or if there was conflict that she had to deal with, that will add to the time. 

Virtual programs can be a nice gap-filler between public school and home educating, and I would never tell any parent what methodology to follow with their own child, as you know her and your family best, but if it were me, I think I'd leave it all until October or so, and then start back with interest-led learning. 

When you tested for learning style, what did you get? For both of you?


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## rhondajk (Apr 1, 2008)

Tracy, I did not do any specific tests. I have done some reading online and a couple of books. Upside-down Brilliance, The Visual-spatial learner by Linda Silverman and The Way they learn by Cynthia Tobias. I think DD fits the profile of a strong visual-kinestatic learner who does best with seeing and touching or manipulating, she is more intuitive in her learning. I am more linear and like to learn sequentially but very visual-kinestatic also. One of the big differences I notice between us is I have to complete something, I could never leave a book or a project half done. DD can and does frequently. We are both perfectionistic to some extent but in different ways, I will keep trying until I get it right and am satisfied, DD will stop and become upset if it doesn't fit her mental image of what it should be.

What kind of tests are available?

I appreciate you advice, and I have read enough of your posts to respect your opinions and experience. I am using this time to learn and plan, it's nice to have experienced people here to bounce ideas off of.


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## saremca (Jun 19, 2008)

We're unschoolers. My oldest is 18 and "graduating" this year. If you're not familiar with Sandra Dodd, I highly recommend reading anything and everything you can find on her website and blog about unschooling. http://www.sandradodd.com/

If you have a big bookstore or a well-funded library nearby they may carry Home Education Magazine. If not, they have a website: http://www.homeedmag.com/. Fantastic resource for unschooling and child led learning.


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