# How do you handle this?



## stirfamily (Jun 18, 2002)

I make a lot of quilts for family and someone saw one of them, commented on how beautiful it was and she hinted around that she would like me to make her one. As you all know, quilts are not inexpensive to make. I make them for family as a legacy and because I love them all dearly, so I don't mind spending the money or time doing them. The lady in this story is my DDIL's mother. We're not close or great friends. Do I just thank her for the compliment and ignore the hint or what? I know I can't be the only one who has experienced this and was wondering how you handled it.
Karen in NE Indiana


----------



## lovinthislife (Aug 28, 2009)

I have went through this alot. I tell them thank you and then I tell them it costs alot to make a quilt and if she would like to buy one, I'd be more than happy to do it. I have sold many this way.


----------



## Molly Mckee (Jul 8, 2006)

I would ignore the hints, thank her for the compliment and play dumb about anything else. If she comes right out and asks, I would volunteer to teach her when I helped my DIL. I have gotten very good at not hearing sewing /quilting hints.


----------



## BusyBees2 (Dec 10, 2004)

I would certainly say thank you for the compliment. Then I would let her know that making quilts is costly, but you'd be more than willing to work up a price quote if she'd like one.

If she wants a quote, I would be very generous in your quote (even if the final price comes out lower) to cover yourself if she wants to change size/designs along the way.


----------



## cc (Jun 4, 2006)

Keep trying to ignore her but if she gets pushy take her a quilting catalog, something like Fons and Porter that will have fabrics as well as supplies. You might just circle all the supplies you think she would need, rulers, cutting mats, templets, everything you can think of. Most of us get these sort of things as we go along but if she is being pushy, well, she is being pushy! I did this with my SIL to stop her hints, just left the catalog at her house and she never asked again.


----------



## Ruby (May 10, 2002)

Maybe tell her if she will buy all the supplies for 2 quilts you will make one of them for her, then give her a list of everything she will need. Point her to an upscale fabric store for the supplies. She will probably change her mind when she finds out how much it cost to make one.

Or tell her what you charge to make one and don't be cheap about it.


----------



## Karen (Apr 17, 2002)

Just say, "Thank you so much; I enjoyed making it. I wish I could make more but they are so costly to make and takes so much time I can't get done all the ones I wish I could do". That will give her the hint without having to come right out and offend her by saying no.

Or you could just tell her that _someday_, when you get done with all the ones you've already planned, you will make her one. Then just make her a lap quilt with using a scrappy pattern to use up your old pieces. Something you won't have to put money into or a whole lot of time. It still is in family and if she truly would cherish it and pass it down, it would be well worth your time.


----------



## RedDirt Cowgirl (Sep 21, 2010)

Good advice from everyone, but I think Karen has the word - it's time not materials. ("Already promised" backlog covers me for the rest of my life!) In my experience, people who ask so readily for projects like this (knits for me) just can't imagine how much work time it takes.


----------



## stirfamily (Jun 18, 2002)

Thanks all for the advice. I ended up telling her something similar to what Karen said.


----------



## SilverFlame819 (Aug 24, 2010)

I have requests for things all the time, but I had one that took the cake recently... A guy told me that he used to have a neighbor who made beanies, who just LOVED to make them, and made so many she didn't know what to do with them, so she would just hand them off to him... And since he knew I was making beanies, how many could I make for him? He'd love to take them off my hands, when could I start?

SERIOUSLY?!

:umno:

:hysterical:

The whole thing was baffling to me. I basically told him with how much they cost to make, and how long they took me to make, and how many I already had on back-order, I wouldn't have time to make him one til I was 100.

*lol*

I think people who do not do crafts like this have no idea the time and money it takes to complete a project. I helped a friend once make a quilt for Xmas for someone. She thought it would be simple and cheap and quick, so an easy present. She was shocked that it took so much time, space, and money. Sometimes I get the, "Well, you must just be bored, or why else would you do this? So I guess I'll be generous and tell you that you can make me one, to help you out" kind of comments... For real! It makes me laugh every time. People are completely clueless. 

And it also seems to me that all the people I come across who do the "Hey, I want one, that's cool" approach to beanies/quilts/etc are the people who treat the item with just as much flippant indifference later on. Like wanting Lifesavers at the checkout, the item is not important, and forgotten quickly after receiving it. So all that time and effort you put into it is not appreciated like it should be in the end, and you just wonder why you bothered.

I've quickly learned how to turn people down.

I saw a great quote on Ravelry last year that works well for any craft. (I think most of us wouldn't dare say it to someone, but I thought it was a great line).  "Knitting is like sex. If I love you, I'll do it for free. If I don't, you can't afford me."


----------



## Karen (Apr 17, 2002)

You're right that those who don't do these crafts have no idea of how much time and expense it takes, but I can't blame them. Even as a quilter, sewer and knitter I seem to constantly under estimate how long it will take and how much it eventually end up costing. :happy2:


----------



## Katskitten (Aug 5, 2010)

Good comments on this subject. I have seen this all my life too. I used to go to the art markets on a regular basis when we lived in Phx. You could tell the difference between the serious buyers and the ones we named "lookieloos". The ones that got me were the ones that would say "Oh I can make that at home just as easy." Yeah Right you go right ahead and try it. Eventually there would be some that came back and bought the item with a very red face. LOL


----------



## ErinP (Aug 23, 2007)

If it's a hint, I ignore it. 

If it's a blatant, "What would you charge to make me one?" I quote an astronomically high number--something that covers fabric, plus about $400 for my time because I'm so ridiculously slow {insert self-deprecating laughter here}.

That usually does it.


----------



## tallpines (Apr 9, 2003)

Each year we have several quilt auctions in our area (within 75 miles).

The auctions are put on by the Amish communities but anyone can consign a quilt. 
They average about 200 quilts at each of these auctions and sell anywhere from $100 to $700.

The quilt auctions are so popular in our area that surely they must hold similar events in Indiana!

Check them out and then send your DDIL's mother the dates so she can attend.


----------



## Wendy (May 10, 2002)

> The auctions are put on by the Amish communities but anyone can consign a quilt.
> They average about 200 quilts at each of these auctions and sell anywhere from $100 to $700.
> 
> The quilt auctions are so popular in our area that surely they must hold similar events in Indiana!


They do. I haven't been to any, but I know someone who has. Maybe if I slapped an Amish tag on mine they would sell.  I would not sell one of my hand quilted ones for less than $600.00 & people look at me like I am crazy when I say that. Gee, that's about 25 cents an hour!


----------

