# Online dating......



## wannabfarmer (Jun 30, 2015)

anyone have any actual success with it? to me it just seems like a resume for a job and everyone thinks everyone is an axe murderer.


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## painterswife (Jun 7, 2004)

wannabfarmer said:


> anyone have any actual success with it? to me it just seems like a resume for a job and everyone thinks everyone is an axe murderer.


 Married 19 years this week to my wonderful hubby I met online.


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## wannabfarmer (Jun 30, 2015)

nice, congratulations. that is definitely inspiring. 

Last woman I was talking to (didn't even meet) called the FBI anti terrorist division on me and had me questioned over a lie I used to stop talking to her lol. I didn't want to hurt her feelings but I learned not to do that again. I've tried all of the sites and I think i'm just meant to be single for a bit longer.


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## ydderf (Dec 15, 2018)

I met my wife online we've been happy for the last 16 years. I dated 3 or 4 others and chatted online with another 6 before we met. Don't start with unrealistic expectations as in anything the your needs and hers need to align. I reentered the dating scene with the idea that I wanted a professional woman. I met some interesting women before I met my Kat.


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## DragonFlyFarm (Oct 12, 2012)

9 Years ago my husband and I met online - we are going on 4 years of marriage. He is an amazing person and I am so thankful for the life we have built together. Before meeting DH I did go on a couple dates with other men I had met online......met some *ahem* "unique" guys. I too had figured I would just be single, then I met Mark!


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## tiffanysgallery (Jan 17, 2015)

Funny true story.

I tried online dating once and found I really adored the guy. But my online stalker got jealous of my online guy and they couldn't get along. I’m now out of the picture and the last I heard my online stalker and online guy are still together.


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## Kiamichi Kid (Apr 9, 2009)

tiffanysgallery said:


> Funny true story.
> 
> I tried online dating once and found I really adored the guy. But my online stalker got jealous of my online guy and they couldn't get along. I’m now out of the picture and the last I heard my online stalker and online guy are still together.


I dunno if I'd call that funny.. but it is a bit odd....


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## tiffanysgallery (Jan 17, 2015)

Kiamichi Kid said:


> I dunno if I'd call that funny.. but it is a bit odd....


True. 

Sometimes when one finds online dating doesn’t work, they look back, smile, and move on to another way of meeting people.

I'm not sure what that other way would be but somehow people are meeting others.


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## po boy (Jul 12, 2010)

I was married about 45 years of my 72 year life and been alone just less than 2. Haven't thought about a new relationship and have started to enjoy being alone. My king size bed doesn't seem empty, my 10 pound Yorkie hogs the covers and snores and I don't need anyone else.


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## hiddensprings (Aug 6, 2009)

I have a friend that has been married for 10 years to the gentleman she met online.


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## painterswife (Jun 7, 2004)

When I first ventured into internet dating. I was exchanging pm through a service with a cop. I had not even told him my last name. One night he called me. I had not given him any info. Address, full name, phone number etc. I went ballistic on him. Told him to never invade my privacy like that again and to forget I existed. That was before you could easily find people.


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## wannabfarmer (Jun 30, 2015)

wow so far there are more pros than cons. I am still friends with a woman I went on one date with. she is a great person but not what i'm looking for. other than that one it has been bad date after bad date. I went out with an attorney and she spent the entire time texting on her phone with her friends and then decided to call her mom. I got up to use the bathroom and paid my half of the bill and left. I was home an hour before she called me and got mad at me for leaving. (I did ask her to put the phone away before I left). went out with another and had a great time lots of laughs....at the bar she tells me she also has a penis.... yup then showed me. I wasn't even mad I just laughed and told her it wasn't going to work out. 
I don't want anyone to think i'm giving up, but when the FBI shows up I think its time to take a step back. I have one friend that met someone online and they are now engaged but he marries anyone that shows him attention and will be going onto his 3rd wife and he is only 33. I've learned not to bring a wedding gift lmao. 
painterswife, yes it is extremely easy to get someone's info and i'm sure it was scary as hell to have him just call you. the sad thing is I bet mentally he thought you would be impressed at how resourceful he was.


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## dyrne (Feb 22, 2015)

It depends I guess on what you're looking for. There's definitely no stigma attached to it. Especially for my generation it is the most common way to meet but for most people, I'd still rank it as middle of the pack in broad options with best to last:

church, local interest group, online, bars

It's not for me though. I don't attend church and don't care for the whole head-shot / resume vibe you mention with online dating. Generally, the girl you like online is going to be inundated with messages from douches and not going to have much of a way to single you out from them. It also gives women the illusion of endless possibility and I'm not sure if it attracts shallower girls or just nurturers shallower behavior...


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## HDRider (Jul 21, 2011)

tiffanysgallery said:


> Funny true story.
> 
> I tried online dating once and found I really adored the guy. But my online stalker got jealous of my online guy and they couldn't get along. I’m now out of the picture and the last I heard my online stalker and online guy are still together.


Sounds like a very good story there, maybe a book, or at least a magazine article.


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## mnn2501 (Apr 2, 2008)

Met my wife in the very early days of internet dating sites, we've been married 20 years last fall.


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## Evons hubby (Oct 3, 2005)

I met my Yvonne online in December of 02, married her in 05, best $6.95 I ever spent.


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## dorner (Oct 30, 2012)

My husband and I meet 20 years ago thru online dating. He was the 2nd guy I meet in person. He is a really good man. We would have never meet if it wasn't for online dating. We just celebrated 18 years of marriage on Feb. 10th. 

My brother found his wife online also. They will be married 15 years this coming April. 

I hear lots of horror stories about what people go thru in todays online dating. A lot of people are looking for one thing. Sad.


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

I have a profile on a site but keep it hidden most of the time.
Every so often I check the site out.
If I see someone that I might be compatible with I will contact him.
The few men I have met were nice enough but didn't see it going further than friends.
It would be nice to have a companion....
I do still think of one man in Massachusetts.
Maybe I should move back.....


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## Grafton County Couple (Sep 20, 2018)

I discussed the topic with my wife, who replied "it doesn't apply to you".


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## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

I met my husband on plenty of fish.


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## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

wannabfarmer said:


> nice, congratulations. that is definitely inspiring.
> 
> Last woman I was talking to (didn't even meet) called the FBI anti terrorist division on me and had me questioned over a lie I used to stop talking to her lol. I didn't want to hurt her feelings but I learned not to do that again. I've tried all of the sites and I think i'm just meant to be single for a bit longer.


LOL you need to get more creative with your lies when you have a psycho on the line


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## Kiamichi Kid (Apr 9, 2009)

tiffanysgallery said:


> True.
> 
> Sometimes when one finds online dating doesn’t work, they look back, smile, and move on to another way of meeting people.
> 
> I'm not sure what that other way would be but somehow people are meeting others.


When you figure it out let me know..lol


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## alleyyooper (Apr 22, 2005)

I suggest you use care. Woman murdered off plenty of fish dateing site.
https://nbc25news.com/news/local/gr...after-meeting-man-on-dating-site-plentyoffish

 Al


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## Forcast (Apr 15, 2014)

painterswife said:


> When I first ventured into internet dating. I was exchanging pm through a service with a cop. I had not even told him my last name. One night he called me. I had not given him any info. Address, full name, phone number etc. I went ballistic on him. Told him to never invade my privacy like that again and to forget I existed. That was before you could easily find people.


That's a problem for sure. I gave a guy my phone number. He called to excess. Would talk to anyone that answered the house phone.had to change my number. Never again


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

I met my wife in the gardening section of an online forum you may have heard of it .,.


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

Oregon1986 said:


> LOL you need to get more creative with your lies when you have a psycho on the line


I don’t know what he said but it sounds to me like he was far too creative


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## Bearfootfarm (Jul 13, 2006)

I found my wives/girlfriends the old fashioned way, before there was an internet.


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## 101pigs (Sep 18, 2018)

tiffanysgallery said:


> True.
> 
> Sometimes when one finds online dating doesn’t work, they look back, smile, and move on to another way of meeting people.
> 
> I'm not sure what that other way would be but somehow people are meeting others.


Go to church . You can meet some goods ones there.


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## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

These days people have to be really careful of who they meet online. My best advice is to always meet in a public place until you get to know them and feel comfortable


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## mreynolds (Jan 1, 2015)

I have no experience with online dating but I have a friend who dates real girls he has met live. He doesn't even own a PC. So far either he or they are crazy because none have worked out. Makes me glad my wife and I love each other.


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## ridgerunner1965 (Apr 13, 2013)

back in the early 2000's I was very much into internet dating. had lots of fun dating. met my second wife on yahoo personals, very funny story. we re now back together after 12 years and very happy with her.

in the time we were broke up I met people on pof. never met anyone that was like my ex but did have fun.

I lived rural but near a big city, city girls were crazy to meet a real country man. they said there were no real men in the city.


if you could change a tire or a spark plug they thought yu were a god. it was hilarious.

apparently city boys didn't trip their trigger. I onc had a city girl say she got wet watching me run a chainsaw. like I said crazy.


now im happy with the very first girl I met off the ineternet.


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## Mish (Oct 15, 2015)

Bearfootfarm said:


> I found my wives/girlfriends the old fashioned way, before there was an internet.


I'm with you, met my husband before the internet was really a "thing" - technically it existed but hardly anyone was using it. When the husband and I were dating we were still using MS DOS at work, if we were lucky enough to have a computer in whatever office we were in and not just a typewriter (still remember writing my own "programs" and carrying them around on floppies so I didn't have to re-write them every time I was in a new office, phew, feeling old). 

Don't know if I could hack the whole internet dating thing. My adult kids make me nervous with it. Y'all are some brave people and I wish you the very best of luck.


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## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

ridgerunner1965 said:


> back in the early 2000's I was very much into internet dating. had lots of fun dating. met my second wife on yahoo personals, very funny story. we re now back together after 12 years and very happy with her.
> 
> in the time we were broke up I met people on pof. never met anyone that was like my ex but did have fun.
> 
> ...


A man running a chainsaw can be pretty sexy


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## ridgerunner1965 (Apr 13, 2013)

lol yu are as silly as I thought and in a good way.


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## Evons hubby (Oct 3, 2005)

Oregon1986 said:


> A man running a chainsaw can be pretty sexy


Interesting. I've seen a lot of men running chainsaws..... Never did a thing for me!


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## geo in mi (Nov 14, 2008)

Yvonne's hubby said:


> I met my Yvonne online in December of 02, married her in 05, best $6.95 I ever spent.


Did you get it at Jared's?



geo


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## geo in mi (Nov 14, 2008)

I fell in internet love with a Ukrainian lady.

Moral: What happens on the internet stays on the internet.

geo


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## Evons hubby (Oct 3, 2005)

geo in mi said:


> Did you get it at Jared's?
> 
> 
> 
> geo


Nope, got it at a pawn shop in ft Knox.


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## Evons hubby (Oct 3, 2005)

Grafton County Couple said:


> I discussed the topic with my wife, who replied "it doesn't apply to you".


They do get touchy sometimes! lol


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## Evons hubby (Oct 3, 2005)

geo in mi said:


> I fell in internet love with a Ukrainian lady.
> 
> Moral: What happens on the internet stays on the internet.
> 
> geo


Yeppers, sometimes it gets on the keyboards though.


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## alleyyooper (Apr 22, 2005)

I have seen several men runniung chain saws and all I wanted to go was sharpen the chain for them.
Tis hard to watch them struggle so much.


 Al


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## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

Yvonne's hubby said:


> Interesting. I've seen a lot of men running chainsaws..... Never did a thing for me!


You have the wrong parts or shall i say hormones


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## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

I always loved when you'd go to meet someone off the internet and they looked NOTHING like their picture!!


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## MessyCook (Nov 9, 2018)

It was a surprise to me to read how some people clearly were successful in finding a partner for life onine.
Good for you all though!

It is not easy to find a well balanced person that you can connect with in general, and online dating requires a whole new approach.
It is even more complicated if you have children because you have to be very sure who you are letting into their lives as well.


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## wannabfarmer (Jun 30, 2015)

the lie I used was the story line to the movie " The Mule". so yes I do believe I should get an A in creativity, but an F in follow through. lol 
I don't believe in god so church is out. my one buddy told me to go hang out in Target. He said women flock their and the ratio is like 7 to 1. it is crazy how many people live in PA on this site. I do have two kids so yes its very hard to find someone that isn't going to be a fling as I don't want women in and out of their lives. Ive been single for 4 years so I think I might just stay single another two and buy a house then start looking. 
I do think its wonderful all of the success people have had on the internet dating. seems a lot were in the early stages of the internet, kind of like that "you've got mail" thing lol. I do agree with the post that said internet dating is full of shallowness. not everyone is shallow but yes I do think it gives kind of a false sense to some. people don't realize others will wink at everything. I watched a coworker use tinder and during our 10 minute convo he never looked at his phone but swiped right on every single woman. he said he just does that until he gets a hit and if they aren't what he's looking for he blocks them. I couldn't believe people actually do that.


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

101pigs said:


> Go to church . You can meet some goods ones there.


But the odds are poor and the girls are odd .....


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

Online dating is no different than any other dating if you wouldn’t do it on the first date with a guy you met at the grocery store don’t do it on the first date With the guy you meet online.

In fact that’s mostly what online dating is ,a chance to narrow a much larger pool of candidates and create a dating opportunity. 

Think of it this way for most of us without the Internet our pool of possible candidates is limited to a few dozen friends of friends, people we meet at the store and church. 

By using the Internet we can expand the pool to thousands of possibilities. Narrow them down to our interests quickly and be rejected in time for dinner.


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

One problem with adults meeting other adults is finding socially acceptable places to strike up a conversation. 
Yard sales seem to have a few single women each one that you can speak to.
Parks on the other hand seem to have lots of single women that are ready call the cops if you speak to them


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## alleyyooper (Apr 22, 2005)

My story is the local news paper.
*Free to a good home a Brittany spaniel,* about 40 pounds house broken with papers.
Must take owner to care for the Brittany, Named Peanuts.

The news paper set up a box to send all replies to.

 Al


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## 101pigs (Sep 18, 2018)

AmericanStand said:


> One problem with adults meeting other adults is finding socially acceptable places to strike up a conversation.
> Yard sales seem to have a few single women each one that you can speak to.
> Parks on the other hand seem to have lots of single women that are ready call the cops if you speak to them


I have met a lot of women at church. Some of them did surprise me on the first date. Walmart has a Mc Donald's. Quite a few people have coffee and eat there. Lots of single women there.


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## wannabfarmer (Jun 30, 2015)

I'm very outgoing and have no problem talking to anyone and i'm not shy to strike up a conversation. part of the problem is what American stand said, they are all pretty much ready to call the cops if you smile and say hi. I agree to be cautious but to the point of not being friendly is absurd to me.


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

you can find just as many weirdo's in church as you can anywhere else. sometimes more. ~Georgia


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

I like to see a man working with wood also. always have. I don't care what he's doing with it. ~Georgia


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## wannabfarmer (Jun 30, 2015)

so I need to go to target.....with a chainsaw....and saw some stuff. then head over to the local church and saw some stuff there then head to Walmart mcdonalds for a coffee and more sawing. ironically I might just fit in at Walmart doing that.


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

Oregon1986 said:


> I always loved when you'd go to meet someone off the internet and they looked NOTHING like their picture!!


yeah that happened to my friend. he said he was almost 6ft tall. she arranged a date and he came to her house. when she opened the door she was looking up. then she had to look way down. he was a midget. I'm not running down midgets or anything. just telling it like it happened. ~Georgia


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## Bearfootfarm (Jul 13, 2006)

AmericanStand said:


> Parks on the other hand seem to have lots of single women that are ready call the cops if you speak to them


Maybe if you weren't wearing the trench coat with no buttons........


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## wannabfarmer (Jun 30, 2015)

wow. the scary part is she initially invited him to her house instead of a public place.


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

I was always at her for taking chances like that but she wouldn't listen. she was actually my SD but we were the same age so called each other friends. she was very lucky though in that nothing ever happened.


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## wannabfarmer (Jun 30, 2015)

one of my friends sisters was raped by a guy she met at her house. they caught him and locked him up but it messed her up mentally pretty bad. had to sell her house and move and spent a long time in therapy.


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

lots of men to meet up at the kinsman center too . that's why I'm going up first thing in the morning for breakfast. just kidding! they do have the best sausages I've ever tasted though. ~Georgia


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

But.. I intend to dress up to the nines just in case. ~Georgia


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## IndyDave (Jul 17, 2017)

Human nature is human nature. The only differences I see in online dating is that you have a larger pool of people who are generally going to break down percentage-wise much like the local population. Differences are that you do not know these people or their reputations, and that anonymity, real or perceived, may lead to them showing their dark sides without the fear that comes from being in a community were everyone knows them. I dare say that we are surrounded by a lot of people who would be a lot different than we believe them to be if they did not fear the consequences of showing their true colors.


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## mreynolds (Jan 1, 2015)

newfieannie said:


> I like to see a man working with wood also. always have. I don't care what he's doing with it. ~Georgia


Here ya go.






No, it's not me. I use power tools. But this guy is awesome.


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## mreynolds (Jan 1, 2015)

wannabfarmer said:


> so I need to go to target.....with a chainsaw....and saw some stuff. then head over to the local church and saw some stuff there then head to Walmart mcdonalds for a coffee and more sawing. ironically I might just fit in at Walmart doing that.


You might be surprised. My wife told me she never noticed me until I was on a roof laying decking with a sleeveless shirt. If I knew that beforehand I would have taken some plywood and my table saw to the bars I used to got to. I thought dancing was good enough but hey, everyone in Texas knows how to dance.


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## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

Without going in to too much detail, I STRONGLY STRONGLY discourage anyone from meeting at your home or theirs? Back in 2012 I met a guy online and he asked to pick me up at my place where he went on to attack me and sexually assault me. It is never safe, even if you think you can defend yourself. I was one of those people who thought, oh it won't happen to me and I was very wrong. Meet anywhere there is other people


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## no really (Aug 7, 2013)

Oregon1986 said:


> Without going in to too much detail, I STRONGLY STRONGLY discourage anyone from meeting at your home or theirs? Back in 2012 I met a guy online and he asked to pick me up at my place where he went on to attack me and sexually assault me. It is never safe, even if you think you can defend yourself. I was one of those people who thought, oh it won't happen to me and I was very wrong. Meet anywhere there is other people


I am so sorry that you went through that. Thanks for posting as a lesson to all, you are strong.


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## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

no really said:


> I am so sorry that you went through that. Thanks for posting as a lesson to all, you are strong.


Thank you. I just don't want anyone else to make that mistake,it stays with you the rest of your life


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)




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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

Don’t those of you that Meet people online talk to them on the phone and get to know them?

Back when I was into online dating I always talked to someone till I felt I knew them. I would always give the the area code and exchange of my village.


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

MessyCook said:


> It is not easy to find a well balanced person that you can connect with in general, and online dating requires a whole new approach.
> It is even more complicated if you have children because you have to be very sure who you are letting into their lives as well.


Actually I don’t think it does but I think that’s the problem. Just because uncle Alan told you he met a nice guy at the car parts place doesn’t mean you give him the key to your front door.
You would probably arrange to meet him at a barbecue at uncle Allen’s. 
Treat the Internet the same way


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

Oregon1986 said:


> Thank you. I just don't want anyone else to make that mistake,it stays with you the rest of your life


I think you are offering good advice. 
However in my Internet dating days I noticed a substantial portion of women that purposely wanted to ignore your advice.


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## mreynolds (Jan 1, 2015)

Wow, It's a sad world these things happen. Maybe I would meet at a public place AND use a rent car to get there.


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## MessyCook (Nov 9, 2018)

AmericanStand said:


> Actually I don’t think it does but I think that’s the problem. Just because uncle Alan told you he met a nice guy at the car parts place doesn’t mean you give him the key to your front door.
> You would probably arrange to meet him at a barbecue at uncle Allen’s.
> Treat the Internet the same way


Yes, I think that is good advice though I do believe that online dating does take a slightly different approach in some ways.
Communication between two people can be challenging enough as it is, and I think that exchanging thoughts (much like we do now, actually) is different while sitting alone in your personal space than meeting someone in person and talking.
This can be good or bad.

Maybe some who are not exactly smooth talkers do better initially when meeting someone online because they are more comfortable when they 'meet' that way.
But, it seems easier to hide questionable intentions online though, if only because you miss out on some body language and can also make people share more than what would be sensible. And, it is easier to feed wishful thinking not based on any real connection, when dating online.
When people are considered worth the while, or the first click, only based on their picture, or sassy profile (both can be streamlined so much that they have little to do with reality), you may get more, or less, than you bargained for.
I do think there is something to say for both ways of meeting new people.

This morning I heard from a charming, somewhat older lady that she would love to meet a nice man again (after being alone for 5 years after the death of her husband) but she does did not know where to meet someone.
She was not so much interested in living together but more so as a companion to go out and enjoy good experiences together without marriage as a goal.
There must be a lot of people like her, who are not ready yet to give up on love/friendship but just do not know where to find it.

To be honest, I have no clue what a decent, foolproof way would be to meet someone. Maybe luck has to be on your side too.


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## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

AmericanStand said:


> I think you are offering good advice.
> However in my Internet dating days I noticed a substantial portion of women that purposely wanted to ignore your advice.


Yeah that is true


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## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

AmericanStand said:


> Don’t those of you that Meet people online talk to them on the phone and get to know them?
> 
> Back when I was into online dating I always talked to someone till I felt I knew them. I would always give the the area code and exchange of my village.


people can say ANYTHING over the phone


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

Oregon1986 said:


> people can say ANYTHING over the phone


I think you missed the important part I would always give them my area code and exchange, they can call up anybody in my phone exchange and check on me


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

I don’t think there’s a simple full proof way to go about dating. Maybe some of the arranged marriages religions Have got the right idea.

But I think that Internet dating is a substantial improvement on all the other methods.


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

Actually high school had a pretty good arrangement for dating.
At least for guys, when we had 5000 kids in the gymnasium we could look them over pretty quick and see which we found attractive and then concentrate our efforts there.


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## Evons hubby (Oct 3, 2005)

AmericanStand said:


> Actually high school had a pretty good arrangement for dating.
> At least for guys, when we had 5000 kids in the gymnasium we could look them over pretty quick and see which we found attractive and then concentrate our efforts there.


Yep, I liked school. The county rounded up every girl in the area, plopped them all down in one spot for my personal inspection!


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

Yeah not as good as online but defiantly a start.


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## haypoint (Oct 4, 2006)

Met some real nut cases through on line dating. Mostly seemed like everyone was broke, looking for someone to financially "save" them. At my age, I'm not interested in a rescue.

Met one lady, had a nice dinner. Except she referenced he dead husband too often, he was wonderful, treated her like a queen... She wanted to visit some of the area stores in this tourist town. So as we walked along the side walk, started across the street, I took her hand in mine and she snatched it away like I'd just groped her. I said I was just being courteous, helping her cross the street. She felt I was taking a huge liberty with her. I never thought holding hands was a big deal.

A friend has been on a couple dating sights. He's 75 and has found lots of one night stands.


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

I've met some real doozies; both from online and in real life, and a few in my own neighborhood!


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## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

Anywhere and everywhere you go and every method of meeting people,there will be good guys and scum bags.


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## Phil4me (Dec 5, 2018)

I just celebrated 4 years this month with my wife I met online.


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## TerryR (May 20, 2012)

Oregon1986 said:


> A man running a chainsaw can be pretty sexy


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## TerryR (May 20, 2012)

Yvonne's hubby said:


> They do get touchy sometimes! lol


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## georger (Sep 15, 2003)

wannabfarmer said:


> anyone have any actual success with it? to me it just seems like a resume for a job and everyone thinks everyone is an axe murderer.


It might be more secure, more fun to wander into a minefield in a foggy night while drunk rather than trying on-line dating.


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## tiffanysgallery (Jan 17, 2015)

Kiamichi Kid said:


> When you figure it out let me know..lol


Anytime Fitness has been a great place to meet new people.


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## wannabfarmer (Jun 30, 2015)

good point tiffany I should get my fat ass to the gym and hit on women when i'm sweaty and struggling for air. actually that's not a half bad idea, if they accept me at my worst then only way is up lol.


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

my husband was a wonderful man also but I only talk about it here when the topic comes up. works the other way too. when you take me to a restaurant etc. don't spend the whole time talking about what a jezebel your wife was. ~Georgia


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## Evons hubby (Oct 3, 2005)

tiffanysgallery said:


> Anytime Fitness has been a great place to meet new people.


No one could have ever found me there! lol


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## Scott SW Ohio (Sep 20, 2003)

I missed online dating by a few years, but what came before that was print personals ads. The first of these I ever saw were in Mother Earth News - "Lifemates and Companions." I used to love reading those and imagining what the people on the other end of the ads were like.

Much later (in the early '90s) I noticed personal ads in the back of a local monthly magazine and responded to a few. There were no photos and the messages were pretty short - you had to decide based on twenty or thirty words of text whether this or that person might be your soul mate. If you felt hopeful about somebody, you wrote a letter to their PO box and waited for a call or letter back. It was definitely a shot in the dark.

One of my letters reached a woman who rode horses and worked full-time at a boarding stable. My letter was pretty long and she is not much of a reader, so it sat on the bottom of her pile while she dated several guys who wrote shorter notes. When she eventually called me we talked for two hours and it was as if we had known each other forever.

Long afterward she told me the two things that got her interest in our first phone call: I laughed a lot, and I listened to her. Then, when we met for our second date at a Pizza Hut, she told me she had to cut it short to sit at the barn with a colicky horse and I went along and sat with her. For her that was the tipping point. One thing led to another, and now we have been married 27 years. We still are tickled to be together.

What's weird is that in the internet dating age we probably would never have met. We are different physical types, she is older, our hobbies and interests were very different (though they have since converged). With photos and personal data upfront, neither of us would have recognized the other as our "type," I am quite sure. It's a good thing we found each other before dating tools got so precise.


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## Farmerga (May 6, 2010)

Met my wife online 13 years ago.


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## rkintn (Dec 12, 2002)

I just deleted my POF account. I decided to give it another go since the ladies at work were trying it and having a ball. It only took a couple of days for me to remember why I stopped the online stuff lol I also realized I'm okay with alone.


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

I had a guy in here this morning measuring the room for carpet and he was telling me the same thing about his mil. she had 2 husbands and was living with a guy for a few years after that before he died also. she's been trying pof etc and all she found was riff raff. mostly men that was only after money so she decided she was better off alone.


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## rkintn (Dec 12, 2002)

newfieannie said:


> I had a guy in here this morning measuring the room for carpet and he was telling me the same thing about his mil. she had 2 husbands and was living with a guy for a few years after that before he died also. she's been trying pof etc and all she found was riff raff. mostly men that was only after money so she decided she was better off alone.


Thankfully no one asked for money LOL in just don't have the patience for the games and crap. No, I'm not sending more pics of myself, or giving my phone number out after a super brief conversation. Nothing really has changed...you are considered "fake" if you don't abide by some secret set of "rules". The guys talk about wanting a real woman but they don't mean it lol


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

"Real Woman" - Ha! Ha! Ha!


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## IndyDave (Jul 17, 2017)

nehimama said:


> "Real Woman" - Ha! Ha! Ha!


Code speak for a woman who has no standards, no boundaries, and no expectation of commitment now or ever?


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## rkintn (Dec 12, 2002)

IndyDave said:


> Code speak for a woman who has no standards, no boundaries, and no expectation of commitment now or ever?


That's it, exactly.


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## IndyDave (Jul 17, 2017)

rkintn said:


> . No, I'm not sending more pics of myself, or giving my phone number out after a super brief conversation.


With the pictures we both have seen, I'll bet you look a lot more like Wonder Woman than I look like a tractor!


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## rkintn (Dec 12, 2002)

IndyDave said:


> With the pictures we both have seen, I'll bet you look a lot more like Wonder Woman than I look like a tractor!


LOL probably so  I have found that usually a guy asking for more pics wants risque or nudey pics. Those who found someone there worth knowing were lucky, indeed.


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## Kiamichi Kid (Apr 9, 2009)

rkintn said:


> I just deleted my POF account. I decided to give it another go since the ladies at work were trying it and having a ball. It only took a couple of days for me to remember why I stopped the online stuff lol I also realized I'm okay with alone.


I just opened one..less than 24 hours ago..I had been on years ago and came back to see many of the same profiles with the same photos etc...I started getting spammed by fake profiles withing 5 minutes. The only reason I'm back is that I happened to know of couples that really have found each other this way so I know that it "can" work.. and that there are a few sincere people on there looking for a partner.


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

IndyDave said:


> Code speak for a woman who has no standards, no boundaries, and no expectation of commitment now or ever?


 I think you're a li'l mixed up, Indy. The guys tell us they want a "Real Woman", but those are the very same fellows who have no standards, no boundaries, and no expectation of commitment now or ever.


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## rkintn (Dec 12, 2002)

nehimama said:


> I think you're a li'l mixed up, Indy. The guys tell us they want a "Real Woman", but those are the very same fellows who have no standards, no boundaries, and no expectation of commitment now or ever.


I think you are both right.


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## po boy (Jul 12, 2010)

I don't think "I am a stay at home old codger" would attract anyone.


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

*Translate online dating profiles:*
*Run Time 3:12





*


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

Translation Guide for the Guys:

When she says: I have great friends and family, a great career, and now I’m looking for someone to settle down with…

It really means: I’m desperately unhappy with most areas of my life, but I’m hoping that I’ll meet someone through this site and all my worries and troubles will go away.

*

When she says: I love going out and having a good time, but I’m just as comfortable staying in and watching a movie.

It really means: I have no idea what to write and this sounds safe.

By the way, isn’t this….ummm….just about everyone? Find me a person who doesn’t like going out and having a good time, and staying in every now and then. It’s like saying a movie is an hour or so long give or take an hour.

*

When she says: I’m not looking for sex or a hookup.

It really means: Sex and hooking up are awesome, but I don’t want to appear slutty or trashy so I’m adding this line.

Who doesn’t like sex and hooking up? It’s 100% natural. It’s in our evolutionary genes to want to have sex. Of course you’re looking for it. Everyone is.

*

When she says: I’m busy and don’t have much time to meet people so I signed up for this site…

It really means: I’m tired of getting drinks spilled on me and having random guys’ wieners between my butt cheeks in some crowded bar. So I stopped going. Now I’m not sure what to do.

*
When she says: I’m sick of the bar scene. Just looking for someone real. No games.

It really means: I’ve been going to the same handful of bars for the past couple years. I seem to be getting older but everyone in the bar seems to stay 23.

*

When she says: I’m looking for someone who is {list of characteristics}.

It really means: I have no idea what I’m looking for.

This is true. They did a research study where they had people list characteristics of an ideal mate. When they followed them into the real world, the people they were attracted to had very few of the characteristics they initially listed.

People are more malleable than they think.


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## IndyDave (Jul 17, 2017)

nehimama said:


> I think you're a li'l mixed up, Indy. The guys tell us they want a "Real Woman", but those are the very same fellows who have no standards, no boundaries, and no expectation of commitment now or ever.


Exactly. The men in question have the standards and expectations of alley cats and are looking for women compatible with their chosen lifestyle: "useful" and disposable.


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## rkintn (Dec 12, 2002)

nehimama said:


> Translation Guide for the Guys:
> 
> When she says: I have great friends and family, a great career, and now I’m looking for someone to settle down with…
> 
> ...


And this mess right here is why I can't do online dating. I say what I mean and mean what I say, but the unwritten "translations" turn it into something else. That makes those who actually were able to negotiate that minefield and find a nice, normal perso n super lucky, in my book.


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## wannabfarmer (Jun 30, 2015)

I also just describe myself I don't list what i'm looking for because you never know who you are going to be attracted to. I find that all of the women profiles are almost verbatim word for word the same and i'm sure the guys are also. I honestly would be happy just finding someone to get out of the house with. I wouldn't care if it went further just meeting someone new and semi sane would be nice lol. I used to have high hopes but after a few years of flipping through profiles I've become numb and bored with the same stuff.


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## mreynolds (Jan 1, 2015)

IndyDave said:


> Exactly. The men in question have the standards and expectations of alley cats and are looking for women compatible with their chosen lifestyle: "useful" and disposable.


In my experience those guys want a "good" girl but have no idea what one looks like. 

Then there are the "gifted" men like my brother in law. All be has to do is just walk by and even a lesbian will turn straight instantly just by looking at him.


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

IndyDave said:


> With the pictures we both have seen, I'll bet you look a lot more like Wonder Woman than I look like a tractor!


Lol
I’ve never met or seen a picture of you but I’ve always imagined you looking a lot like an old tractor, you know faded chipped paint ,couple of dents on the grill , kind a rough but still pulling ?


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## mreynolds (Jan 1, 2015)

AmericanStand said:


> Lol
> I’ve never met or seen a picture of you but I’ve always imagined you looking a lot like an old tractor, you know faded chipped paint ,couple of dents on the grill , kind a rough but still pulling ?


Maybe a squeaky wheel bearing?


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

georger said:


> It might be more secure, more fun to wander into a minefield in a foggy night while drunk rather than trying on-line dating.


I think your miss guided I think online dating is the best and safest method of dating for adults however if you know of a better method I am willing to listen.


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

mreynolds said:


> Maybe a squeaky wheel bearing?


 Perhaps even some escaping gas?


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

Oregon1986 said:


> Anywhere and everywhere you go and every method of meeting people,there will be good guys and scum bags.


 I suspect your definition of scumbag is an honest man


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

You guys do realize that POF is a sex for cash site right?

Think about it it’s meant to use the criteria of distance and appearance that’s it it’s much more difficult to glean any more about them than that


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## rkintn (Dec 12, 2002)

AmericanStand said:


> You guys do realize that POF is a sex for cash site right?
> 
> Think about it it’s meant to use the criteria of distance and appearance that’s it it’s much more difficult to glean any more about them than that


LOL okay. Which online dating site would you recommend? No matter which site I go to, i see the same men. Same pics, same profiles. Are they all cash for sex sites? And, if so, why do you think that's the safest and best place for adults to meet someone?


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

Homesteading today I’ve had pretty good luck with that!


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## rkintn (Dec 12, 2002)

AmericanStand said:


> Homesteading today I’ve had pretty good luck with that!


LOL


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## IndyDave (Jul 17, 2017)

AmericanStand said:


> Lol
> I’ve never met or seen a picture of you but I’ve always imagined you looking a lot like an old tractor, you know faded chipped paint ,couple of dents on the grill , kind a rough but still pulling ?


That sounds fair enough!


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## IndyDave (Jul 17, 2017)

mreynolds said:


> Maybe a squeaky wheel bearing?


You never know!


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## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

AmericanStand said:


> You guys do realize that POF is a sex for cash site right?
> 
> Think about it it’s meant to use the criteria of distance and appearance that’s it it’s much more difficult to glean any more about them than that


Well that cash for sex site brought me my husband


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## no really (Aug 7, 2013)

Oregon1986 said:


> Well that cash for sex site brought me my husband


Dang, I had to read that twice! Thought you wrote bought instead of brought!


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

Lol 
It was bound to work for you, you were probably the only legitimate profile on the site !

For men trying to use the site we are flooded with”Commercial company”


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## tiffanysgallery (Jan 17, 2015)

nehimama said:


> Translation Guide for the Guys:
> 
> When she says: I have great friends and family, a great career, and now I’m looking for someone to settle down with…
> 
> ...


Too many misunderstandings in communicating can make for a disappointing outcome. 

Someone can share plenty about themselves but we still get to know them based on our own experiences. If a person has been treated poorly and or lied to in prior relationships, they may come to expect everyone to do the same to them. This is unfortunate because not everyone is out to hurt another person. 

To find a partner and enjoy a fulfilling relationship we have to remedy any misunderstandings that our assumptions represent and start fresh without expectations when we meet a new person. Sadly, not everyone is willing to do this and those seem to be the ones who have reoccurring failures time and again. 

IMHO, don't blame others for what someone else has done, stay positive, and keep dating.


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## Kiamichi Kid (Apr 9, 2009)

AmericanStand said:


> You guys do realize that POF is a sex for cash site right?
> 
> Think about it it’s meant to use the criteria of distance and appearance that’s it it’s much more difficult to glean any more about them than that


I'd have to disagree...I know too many people of integrity and outstanding character that either are on ,or have been on POF. There's no way that they are there for "sex for cash".


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## Kiamichi Kid (Apr 9, 2009)

Oregon1986 said:


> Well that cash for sex site brought me my husband


Lucky Devil...


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## Bearfootfarm (Jul 13, 2006)

AmericanStand said:


> I think you missed the important part I would always give them my area code and exchange, they can call up anybody in my phone exchange and check on me


Yeah, because I'm sure they all know you.


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## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

Kiamichi Kid said:


> Lucky Devil...


now he doesn't have to pay


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## Kiamichi Kid (Apr 9, 2009)

Oregon1986 said:


> now he doesn't have to pay


Hahahahahaa


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## po boy (Jul 12, 2010)

Oregon1986 said:


> now he doesn't have to pay


Lucky Devil...


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## MessyCook (Nov 9, 2018)

Scott SW Ohio said:


> I missed online dating by a few years, but what came before that was print personals ads. The first of these I ever saw were in Mother Earth News - "Lifemates and Companions." I used to love reading those and imagining what the people on the other end of the ads were like.
> 
> Much later (in the early '90s) I noticed personal ads in the back of a local monthly magazine and responded to a few. There were no photos and the messages were pretty short - you had to decide based on twenty or thirty words of text whether this or that person might be your soul mate. If you felt hopeful about somebody, you wrote a letter to their PO box and waited for a call or letter back. It was definitely a shot in the dark.
> 
> ...


This was such a nice read, Scott SW Ohio, thank you!
And congratulations on finding your "life mate"!

Maybe that is what sometimes gives me a bad taste in my mouth about online dating, the easiness with which people are moved aside solely based on their looks or being the right "type" or not.
I like the idea of the initial writing without knowing too much about the "photos and personal data upfront", as you have mentioned.
I am not saying that these things are not unimportant but there is more to bringing lasting sparks in a relationship than looks and mutual interests. 

Though the online dating does give the opportunity to get in contact with people that you would never meet otherwise, it can also focus too much on the possible success of theoretical "matches", without leaving room to be pleasantly surprised by the "wrong" type.


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## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

This day in age you never know how you will meet the one and I don't think there is any wrong way


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## IndyDave (Jul 17, 2017)

AmericanStand said:


> Lol
> It was bound to work for you, you were probably the only legitimate profile on the site !
> 
> For men trying to use the site we are flooded with”*Commercial company*”


Fake profiles to spike activity on the site or prostitution?


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

Kiamichi Kid said:


> I'd have to disagree...I know too many people of integrity and outstanding character that either are on ,or have been on POF. There's no way that they are there for "sex for cash".


 I agree there are a lot of fine people on the site. But it doesn’t change the nature of the site .For instance while there are many people on this site that live in the city or suburbs this site is still fundamentally or homesteaders.


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

Who live far from one another American Stand


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

IndyDave said:


> Fake profiles to spike activity on the site or prostitution?


 I suspect that most of the fake profiles were placed by prostitutes although there may have been a lot of otherwise legitimate females that had an inch they wanted to scratch that faked profile 
Don’t get me wrong if you numbered them the legitimate profile is probably far out number the fakes and prostitution it’s just the fakes and prostitution are probably 100 times more active obviously they need a lot more clients then legitimate profiles and to get them they have to answer even more


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

roadless said:


> Who live far from one another American Stand


So very true and a fundamental of our core interest.
My bride and two of the other girls that I met here in dated where from downtown in the city of Indianapolis. 
That is 200 miles from me while we all enjoyed each other’s company I never expected them to move to where I live and I certainly never expected to move to downtown Indianapolis
But I’m pretty happy the last one did


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## Midgard (Jan 23, 2015)

Tammy and I have been together almost 14 years now. We met on one of the dating sites. Before we met, I dated a number of women I met online. Most were nice people and we had a good time. None were losers. I would never have met them if I had to go to a bar to meet them.


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## Evons hubby (Oct 3, 2005)

AmericanStand said:


> Lol
> It was bound to work for you, you were probably the only legitimate profile on the site !
> 
> For men trying to use the site we are flooded with”Commercial company”


Got news for ya. They are all in it for something.... The honest ones just offer a straight up cash price!


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

Yvonne's hubby said:


> Got news for ya. They are all in it for something.... The honest ones just offer a straight up cash price!


That sounds rather harsh to me.


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## wannabfarmer (Jun 30, 2015)

roadless, its not an untrue statement. there are a lot of people using online dating apps for prostitution.


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

wannabfarmer said:


> roadless, its not an untrue statement. there are a lot of people using online dating apps for prostitution.


I suppose I am naive .
I have a profile on POF, and that is definitely not why I'm there.


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## wannabfarmer (Jun 30, 2015)

Roadless, I believe prostitution is mainly with female profiles so unless you are playing both sides I think you might be safe lol. I was on POF for a bit but got tired of the fake profiles.


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

I keep my profile hidden most of the time, it seems most men that responded didn't read my profile. 
Nowadays, I look every so often but haven't seen anyone that has tripped my trigger.


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## wannabfarmer (Jun 30, 2015)

women tend to say guys with hidden profiles are creepy and dont' trust them so I had to deal with the fake profiles. its funny every so often i'll sign back up and I see the exact same profiles with only a few new faces sprinkled into the mix. I think some people are just serial daters.


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## Elevenpoint (Nov 17, 2009)

Must accept me for who I am.
Translation?
Get ready for crazy.
Most on there have been there for years.


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## wannabfarmer (Jun 30, 2015)

while I do agree somewhat with your crazy statement. I think it's unfair to say most singles on there are crazy. I've been single for 4 years and it's primarily due to wanting to get out of debt over spending on dating. another main reason is when I do meet a new woman if I don't agree with their morals or character and they try to force my viewpoint to change and I end it quickly. If you read a few of my earlier posts on this thread I have met crazy women online dating but it doesn't mean they all are crazy. It just means i'm REALLY good at picking them lol.


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## ed/La (Feb 26, 2009)

I have a few friends that went on evening cruise for speed dating or something like that. You would chat with someone for 5 or six minutes then chat with someone different etc. In a few hours you talked to many people. Trade phone number or not. I would think safer then on line and a little fun at the same time.


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## wannabfarmer (Jun 30, 2015)

I would do something like that after a few more years of being single if I haven't found anyone. I believe the local escape room does something similar once a month. I'd lean more towards the escape room as I could see them cognitively think things through and how they conduct themselves rather than just sitting across a table from them. also a lot of the online sites host a monthly meet and greet at a venue.


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## wdcutrsdaughter (Dec 9, 2012)

For whatever it's worth I met my husband on....craigslist ...of all places right?

Lots of fakes there too and serial daters and creeps, I read and read ads for months - years even before seeing his post and knowing it was a real one. We've been together 11 years this year, married 7


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

I am rarely on the site anymore. 
I remember feeling excited about a well thought out profile of a man a year older than me.
We had many similar interests, he was appealing physically and lived relatively close. 
The last part of his profile he said he was looking for a woman 15 years or more younger than he.
I logged out.


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## wdcutrsdaughter (Dec 9, 2012)

roadless said:


> I am rarely on the site anymore.
> I remember feeling excited about a well thought out profile of a man a year older than me.
> We had many similar interests, he was appealing physically and lived relatively close.
> The last part of his profile he said he was looking for a woman 15 years or more younger than he.
> I logged out.


better off without him


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

I didn't contact him.


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## wdcutrsdaughter (Dec 9, 2012)

roadless said:


> I didn't contact him.


I didn't think you did


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## wannabfarmer (Jun 30, 2015)

Yeah its a shame when you find someone who is taking it seriously and then they ruin it at the end. I usually feel I just read all their crap for nothing haha. My rule is 10 years older or younger. I might change the rule to just 5 years younger because I can't deal with some of ones still in the bar/club scene or taking a picture of everything they do. I tend to get annoyed with stupidity very quickly.


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## mreynolds (Jan 1, 2015)

wannabfarmer said:


> Yeah its a shame when you find someone who is taking it seriously and then they ruin it at the end. I usually feel I just read all their crap for nothing haha. My rule is 10 years older or younger. I might change the rule to just 5 years younger because I can't deal with some of ones still in the bar/club scene or taking a picture of everything they do. I tend to get annoyed with stupidity very quickly.


Ah, age is just a number. There are many young people that are very mature and plenty of old ones that will never grow up. Of course someone that specifically asks for someone 15 years younger without other parameters you can pretty well bet they are the latter.


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## wannabfarmer (Jun 30, 2015)

Oh I agree mreynolds, age is just a number but its a good hypothesis. I use it as just a guideline. no one can help who they are attracted to but they can help what they will tolerate from that person.


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## mreynolds (Jan 1, 2015)

wannabfarmer said:


> Oh I agree mreynolds, age is just a number but its a good hypothesis. I use it as just a guideline. no one can help who they are attracted to but they can help what they will tolerate from that person.


I agree. I knew a guy that married a 24 year old when he was 45. That was 25 years ago and people are still waiting for them to break up.


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## wannabfarmer (Jun 30, 2015)

that's a shame people are happily waiting for a relationship to end just because of age. as long as their relationship is based on they actually love each other and not an alternative why bash what they have? I say good on him if a 70 yr old can keep up with a 49 yr old. My ex wife had a friend who was a piece of crap person and she was 28 and started dating a 52 yr old because he owned a business and had money. she had a good job and made good money but not like him. She married him and after a year and a half divorced him and pranced into the courtroom thinking she was getting half of everything. turned out the guy a few years before he met her put his business into his kids name and his kid ran it and his father was just an acting partner and his son handled all of the finances and the father was technically broke. she got half of his 401k which wasn't much and half of the house which she got about 75k. she was pissed because he lived like he had millions, which he did but it was in his kids name. He knew he had an attraction to younger women and he knew that most just wanted his money so he solved the problem before it was a problem. granted yes she did get 75k which is a lot of money but she didn't get the millions she thought she was.


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

wannabfarmer said:


> I have met crazy women online dating but it doesn't mean they all are crazy. It just means i'm REALLY good at picking them lol.


We all have our skills .....


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

ed/La said:


> I have a few friends that went on evening cruise for speed dating or something like that. You would chat with someone for 5 or six minutes then chat with someone different etc. In a few hours you talked to many people. Trade phone number or not. I would think safer then on line and a little fun at the same time.


How could that be safer ?


----------



## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

roadless said:


> I am rarely on the site anymore.
> I remember feeling excited about a well thought out profile of a man a year older than me.
> We had many similar interests, he was appealing physically and lived relatively close.
> The last part of his profile he said he was looking for a woman 15 years or more younger than he.
> I logged out.


Makes sense since you sensed you weren’t qualified.


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

AmericanStand said:


> Makes sense since you sensed you weren’t qualified.


Neither was he.


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

mreynolds said:


> I agree. I knew a guy that married a 24 year old when he was 45. That was 25 years ago and people are still waiting for them to break up.


Age really does get in the way ,my bride was 24 and I was 51 when we met . It took us a couple of years of enjoying each other’s company to admit we were dating. Then a few more to think it might work. If not for the Psychological barrier that the age thing imposed I think we would have married in less than half the time.


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

roadless said:


> Neither was he.


What do you mean ?


----------



## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

He doesn't see the value of a woman close to his own age.


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## Elevenpoint (Nov 17, 2009)

wannabfarmer said:


> while I do agree somewhat with your crazy statement. I think it's unfair to say most singles on there are crazy. I've been single for 4 years and it's primarily due to wanting to get out of debt over spending on dating. another main reason is when I do meet a new woman if I don't agree with their morals or character and they try to force my viewpoint to change and I end it quickly. If you read a few of my earlier posts on this thread I have met crazy women online dating but it doesn't mean they all are crazy. It just means i'm REALLY good at picking them lol.


No, not all are crazy.
But yes, I have a a great knack at picking those that are.
I need to write a book.


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

elevenpoint said:


> No, not all are crazy.
> But yes, I have a a great knack at picking those that are.
> I need to write a book.


Go for it, I'd read it!


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

roadless said:


> He doesn't see the value of a woman close to his own age.


Lol interesting that you see it that way. Seems like he was fine till you found out you didn’t qualify.


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## Elevenpoint (Nov 17, 2009)

roadless said:


> Go for it, I'd read it!


The latest crash and burn is epic in of itself. Spectacular.


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

elevenpoint said:


> The latest crash and burn is epic in of itself. Spectacular.


Sorry to hear that, elevenpoint.


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## wannabfarmer (Jun 30, 2015)

thankfully I've learned something from everyone I have dated or been on a date with. Some things I learned what i'm looking for and some things I learned that I did wrong. unfortunately some of the lessons I didn't learn until it was too late. The downside to it is as soon as I see something I don't like I tend to dismiss them before it gets too far. have to learn that not everyone is the same.


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## Oxankle (Jun 20, 2003)

Women should never give their whole name or address, or even their phone numbers to men they meet on the net. If the internet exchanges go on to the point of wanting to meet, choose a very public place and arrange to meet INSIDE. 

Men, on the other hand, should not expect a woman to look as young as she says she is. I met some very nice, very smart and very desirable women on the net, and a couple of disasters. One of these said she was a nurse, showed up at a cafe where I was known in cut-off jeans, flp-flops and a salvation army tank top. She was not a nurse, either. Gave the waitresses some grins at my expense.


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## wannabfarmer (Jun 30, 2015)

also don't meet at a place you are known to save the embarrassment if it does go south....lol


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## IndyDave (Jul 17, 2017)

wannabfarmer said:


> also don't meet at a place you are known to save the embarrassment if it does go south....lol


On a serious note, meeting someplace where you are known may well offer the constructive opinions of people who are inclined to care about your well-being.


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## rkintn (Dec 12, 2002)

wannabfarmer said:


> also don't meet at a place you are known to save the embarrassment if it does go south....lol


I agree with Indy. Embarrassment would be the last thing I'd be concerned about should the date go south..


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## geo in mi (Nov 14, 2008)

What did I learn from dating from both on and off line?

That my deceased wife set a terrifically high standard.

geo


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## 101pigs (Sep 18, 2018)

geo in mi said:


> What did I learn from dating from both on and off line?
> 
> That my deceased wife set a terrifically high standard.
> 
> geo


And that can be a big problem. When your wife passes away and she was the best number one. How you going to replace her.


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## CKelly78z (Jul 16, 2017)

101pigs said:


> And that can be a big problem. When your wife passes away and she was the best number one. How you going to replace her.


After 30 years of happy marriage, I wouldn't even try to replace her, I also wouldn't sequester myself in Maine, and expect the women to come to me.....give and take works both ways.


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## wannabfarmer (Jun 30, 2015)

while I agree that the opinions of people you care about matter, I don't believe that extra pressure or distraction should get between getting to know someone. If they make you happy then after a few dates introduce them to your friends or take them out where you "accidently" meet your friends there. I see both sides but I don't think its suitable for a first date. 3rd or more absolutely. Id rather find out early if my friends realize something I don't about the person. I've been on the other end of it and it made me feel she was instantly looking for a way out. She was nice but I felt that she had no confidence because she brought had backup. date went ok but I told her I didn't feel she was my type.


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## Oxankle (Jun 20, 2003)

George; 101, you have touched on a point that has ruined some men. I have a friend here who lost his wife several years ago. He would not remove her clothes from the closets, nor her pictures from his walls. He dwelled on that loss day and night and could not understand why he could not interest another woman in his life. At one point he had an internet romance move into his house, but when she saw what she faced she left. He is still alone, solvent, nice house and land, but lonely.

Women do not like competition, dead or alive. If you widowers want another woman in your lives, put your past life behind. Honor it, remember it, treasure it, but do not stuff it in another woman's face.


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## ridgerunner1965 (Apr 13, 2013)

when I was divorced in my 40's I enjoyed internet dating a lot. I met a lot of nice girls and did fun things with them. we went fishing, rode motorcycles, even went hunting with a few. one girl shot her first deer with me.s he helped me butcher and package it.

one of my favorite memories is a cute blonde I went fishing with. she was in a orange bikini. she caught a turtle, jerked it up into the boat, held it down with her flip flop and took the hook out and kiked it back over the side of the boat. the guys fishing near us were rolling laffing.

lots of fun.


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## wannabfarmer (Jun 30, 2015)

sounds like you should have held onto the orange bikini chick.....just my thoughts though lol


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## whiterock (Mar 26, 2003)

I like orange.


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## Evons hubby (Oct 3, 2005)

wdcutrsdaughter said:


> better off without him


Yeah, any guy that is that honest should be avoided at all costs.


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## Evons hubby (Oct 3, 2005)

whiterock said:


> I like orange.


I like bikinis..... But my Yvonne gets weird when I wear hers.


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## RideBarefoot (Jun 29, 2008)

Ah, the memories this thread brings up! 

So many disasters; apparently I live in an area where sex on the first date is the norm. Um, no thanks. I have a brain, seduce that first.
I've just spent the last few years hanging out with the dog and horses. 

I had put a profile on here on here some years back, maybe I should update that...


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## RideBarefoot (Jun 29, 2008)

Yvonne's hubby said:


> I like bikinis..... But my Yvonne gets weird when I wear hers.


ACK! You just made me remember the freaking weirdo I lived with many years ago. Came home to him wearing my pink thong bikini, complete with socks stuffed in the top. When I asked what the $%^# he was doing, he replied, "I'm having a fantasy."

Done. Over.


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## FarmFarawayHomestead (Jul 13, 2017)

I met my wife on farmersonly. Happily married. It works for rural areas where it's hard to meet people.


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## wdcutrsdaughter (Dec 9, 2012)

Yvonne's hubby said:


> Yeah, any guy that is that honest should be avoided at all costs.


Not what I said. 
I like honest guys. 
Woman like honest guys. 
But clearly better off if you don't fit his age requirements.


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## wannabfarmer (Jun 30, 2015)

I've tried farmers only but didn't have anything pan out from it. match has been the best source for me.


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## mreynolds (Jan 1, 2015)

wannabfarmer said:


> sounds like you should have held onto the orange bikini chick.....just my thoughts though lol


At least the turtles and fish wont shoot at her when she is fishing.


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## mreynolds (Jan 1, 2015)

RideBarefoot said:


> \
> 
> I have a brain, seduce that first.


Amen to this. I have been this way all my (adult) life. There are too many factors to consider for a long term life partner than just one thing.


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)




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## Jen_Jen (Jan 10, 2017)

I met my partner online. We talked by Internet Messaging and then by phone for a couple of weeks before we met up. We finally met for lunch one day, and a week later, we decided to become a couple. We've been together 12 1/2 years now! He's the best thing that has ever happened to me.

While it's true that you have to be REALLY careful meeting people on the Internet, it also opens up all kinds of doors for people to meet each other, when it would never have happened otherwise. It's pretty special sometimes.

Jen M, WV


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## painterswife (Jun 7, 2004)

Coming up on 20 years married to my online date.


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## Jen_Jen (Jan 10, 2017)

That's amazing! 

Jen M.


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

geo in mi said:


> What did I learn from dating from both on and off line?
> 
> That my deceased wife set a terrifically high standard.
> 
> geo


 I’m not sure about your situation but as young men or women we choose our spouses from an infinitely wide pool but after high school and college the pool is narrowing and I suppose the better ones are snapped up first.

By the time we’re older the pool has narrowed considerably we carry our wounds and experiences and quite honestly we carry train loads of baggage it’s amazingly surprising to me that after one wife anyone would ever find another !!!


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## Jen_Jen (Jan 10, 2017)

Yes. The pool narrows immensely the older you get. Also add in things like not wanting kids (or step kids or grandkids) or being vegan...etc. and you're lucky to meet anyone. Of course, people who are different from each other do get together all the time, but still!

Jen M.


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## GTX63 (Dec 13, 2016)

My wife told me that the "till death due us part" stuff just isn't very efficient.
She says the marriage contract is fine but it should have renewal dates, just like sports players.
The spouses initially marry for say 10 years; after that they each negotiate, in person or thru their agents, for terms in relation to their value. 
Now men who believe they married up may have to accept that the renewal contract might be a little stiffer than the first one.
Of course there would be clauses for buyouts, exemptions and certain actions that might breach the TOC.
She suggested this to a buddy of mine who was recently over and moaning about the likelihood he would be going thru a divorce soon. 
She said "Hey, maybe next time you'll be better prepared."
"Next time?" he said. He gave her a sideways stare and asked why he would drop one bad habit just to pick up another.


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

Lol when young men complain about paying child support I always point out to them that it stops immediately if you move the wife and kids back in the house ,usually right after that they quit complaining ......? 
I wonder why .....


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## dyrne (Feb 22, 2015)

Most of the guys I know were completely ambushed by the divorced proceedings. They were not perfect to be sure but loved their family. Any hesitancy to join back to the original union would stem mostly from them needing to get over the immense feelings of betrayal over the whole thing.


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## JeepHammer (May 12, 2015)

Availability is NOT Suitability.
What that means is most of us are looking in a very small pool, and what's available isn't suitable for a lifetime.
The larger the pool, the better chance you have.

"Young & Stupid", two words that are so perfectly paired it's not funny.
I tell anyone that will listen NOT to marry (or have kids) before they are 30.
People change so much between 18 and 30 they don't even recognize their own younger selves.
The frontal lobes of the brain, where good judgment/consequences comes from, doesn't fully develope until 23-24 years old, serious drug & alcohol problems, life goals, etc don't harden until mid to late 20s. 
Anything & everything from slackers/stoners/drunks to militant far right or left wing, personality disorders, and work ethic/morals have all pretty much surfaced by 30.

Close to 60, I figure "Good Women" are like parking places at Walmart,
The good ones are taken, what's left are handicapped or WAY out in left field.


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## Miss Kay (Mar 31, 2012)

Young and stupid, yep that's what we were. But we did know one thing, we knew there had never been anyone that understood us deep down the way we understood each other. I was 16 and he was 18, i was still in school and he was a drop out. We had nothing, came from abusive homes (his dad, my mom) and we clicked in a way that words cannot describe. We have grown and changed over these 45 years but we did it together. We supported each other in every way. He put me through college and I supported him when he became disabled. We've been there for each other in the good and bad, he by my side in the hospital and I by his side when he kicked the pain killer habit the doctor's refused to deal with. As we push forward toward our senior years I panic when I think about losing him. I know one of us must go first but I don't see how I could take another breath without him. Finding the right person may be hard but it is so worth it, wherever you have to look.


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## GTX63 (Dec 13, 2016)

JeepHammer said:


> I tell anyone that will listen NOT to marry (or have kids) before they are 30.
> People change so much between 18 and 30 they don't even recognize their own younger selves.


Marrying after 30 brings on it's own challenges.
Yes, those youngsters have by now developed their brains, and patterns and behaviors, and...their independence.
With time comes baggage and it becomes a little more difficult to bond and blend.
Married at 18 and in love and you grow and form and bond together sharing the same experiences, the good and the ugly.
That cord of two ropes thing, I think.
Each person is specific and only they know what works, but marrying once both has set patterns and "ways" can be a struggle too.


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## JeepHammer (May 12, 2015)

The other way to look at it is both bring more to the table, both have 'sown wild oats', and I didn't say a thing about dating or even living together.

I only know one couple that got married before 25 that are still together, I know several that got married at or right around 30 that are still together 25-30 years later (I'm just that age, almost 60).
LOTS of teenage and just post teen marriages, and just ONE survived.

Some were divorced TWICE before 30.

We do a lot of stupid things between 18 & 30, some continue to make bad decisions all along, while some figure it it out...
YOU become less wreckage/baggage when you figure out who you are before engaging in the most important decision you will ever make.

As for dating/marrying a fully formed person,
At least you know what you are getting and that person won't be someone different every year or so for the next 10 years.


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## mreynolds (Jan 1, 2015)

JeepHammer said:


> ,
> The good ones are taken, what's left are handicapped or WAY out in left field.


Ummm, didn't you say you were single too?


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

I wouldn't discount the handicapped not at all. I know a couple men who you would likely think was handicapped .one who lost his leg and part of one arm.but he has so much to offer other than that and is such a lovely kind man.


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## JeepHammer (May 12, 2015)

mreynolds said:


> Ummm, didn't you say you were single too?


Nope, I met my wife in the VA hospital, she was a nurse's aid, and as it turns out, our partner in crime! 
Didn't like her when I first met her, but she grew on me...

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newfieannie said:


> I wouldn't discount the handicapped not at all. I know a couple men who you would likely think was handicapped .one who lost his leg and part of one arm.but he has so much to offer other than that and is such a lovely kind man.


You missed the joke...
When ANYTHING starts with 'Walmart' it's not going to end well!


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

yeah I'm slow tonight. I usually get the jokes right away. likely all those pain pills I'm on. ~Georgia


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## colourfastt (Nov 11, 2006)

The apps can be used for something other than sex? Learn something new everyday.


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## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

If it wasn't for online dating groups,i'd never have met David and be getting married in 11 days! Some people just don't have time to look these days


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## mreynolds (Jan 1, 2015)

Oregon1986 said:


> If it wasn't for online dating groups,i'd never have met David and be getting married in 11 days! Some people just don't have time to look these days


I've known many who have met online and been married for years. Better than blind dates IMO. My friends were not as picky as I was and they would fix me up with what they liked instead of what I liked. 

"I promise, you will really like her this time."


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## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

mreynolds said:


> I've known many who have met online and been married for years. Better than blind dates IMO. My friends were not as picky as I was and they would fix me up with what they liked instead of what I liked.
> 
> "I promise, you will really like her this time."


Blind dates are the worst,especially when your friends have this high expectation of you liking them. Then when you don't,it's "What's wrong with you"? LOL


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## whiterock (Mar 26, 2003)

Met my EX on a blind date in 1970. Turned out to be expensive. After divorce met one lady face to face from a dating site. She was a nice lady but made it plain she wanted to get married, told me I had too many wounds and most of them had just barely scabbed over. She was right.


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## JeepHammer (May 12, 2015)

Oregon1986 said:


> Blind dates are the worst,especially when your friends have this high expectation of you liking them. Then when you don't,it's "What's wrong with you"? LOL


On the man's side,
The 'Awkward' scale TRIPLES when your 'Date' treats you like a serial killer! 

"Can we have dinner at the police station?" Isn't really an option! 

I don't have a chance with on-line dating...
I won't do 'Hook-Ups', and I told the truth on the dating site I joined way back when.
No fake or younger me pictures, no lying about age, weight, income etc.
A TOTAL DISASTER! I know, because people messaged me and told me I was a disaster! 
(By The Way, Thanks for the hate mail, it got me off my butt.)

Let me add a relationship killer to the mix,
From 17 to 34 I was a US Marine that was mostly deployed...
"I had a nice time on this blind date, can I call you in 6 months to 2 years when I get back someplace there is an open phone line?"

"Yes" said no woman EVER... 
I'm SURE they thought it was a kiss-off, but it was 100% true...


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

I think a lot of the problems in the country today Are caused people marrying for too late.
Let’s face it there’s just a certain type of person that you can’t give them the toys and tell them not to play with them.
And from what I hear having children is far easier on the body the younger you do it.
So if you marry shortly after the first period you can have your two kids and have them raised and out of house In those 30s.

That is the old fashion way of doing things and there are significant advantages to it.


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## JeepHammer (May 12, 2015)

AmericanStand said:


> I think a lot of the problems in the country today Are caused people marrying for too late.
> Let’s face it there’s just a certain type of person that you can’t give them the toys and tell them not to play with them.
> And from what I hear having children is far easier on the body the younger you do it.
> So if you marry shortly after the first period you can have your two kids and have them raised and out of house In those 30s.


That's an 'Ideal' way of looking at things...

In the real world, 'Kids' grow up and change into entirely different people than they were when 'Kids', and get divorced.
Depending on how fast they mature, they get divorced two or three times.

Offspring often doesn't stop at 'Two', accidents, mistakes and step-kids happen.

Offspring are in the household an alarming amount,
Well into 20s, and some in their 30s aren't uncommon, so being an 'Empty Nester' in your 30s is an absloute 'Best Case', while it's more likely just a fantasy.

I didn't have children, and yet I wound up with siblings and their kids (with or without parent) in my home. (It's family, you can't say 'No' when it's down to you or foster care or homelessness)
I also wound up with a parent in my home in his later years until he passed away.

I also take offense with the idea a woman isn't anything but a 'Baby Machine/Child Care' after her first period.
"Bare foot, pregnant & chained to the stove" means no options...

---------------

Churches perform theater called 'Weddings'.

'Marriage' is a legally binding business contract.
Since it's *Supposed* to be a life long business contract, it's probably best to do it with someone fully developed, stable, that understands the the contract in the first place, and has a good idea of what's inside, and outside the contract limitations.

That isn't someone that, "Just had her first period" and still plays with dolls,
Or some guy that has a part time job and can't balance a checkbook, figure interest in a loan, can't vote yet, etc.

If you are talking 'Older Man' and "Just had her first period", there is a word for that, and it's not 'Husband'...


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## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

JeepHammer said:


> On the man's side,
> The 'Awkward' scale TRIPLES when your 'Date' treats you like a serial killer!
> 
> "Can we have dinner at the police station?" Isn't really an option!
> ...


That would make it very hard to find someone but there are those out there willing to wait. I mean look at all the prisoners with ladies waiting for them on the outside,lol


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## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

It seems getting married later in life gets a bad rap


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## JeepHammer (May 12, 2015)

Oregon1986 said:


> That would make it very hard to find someone but there are those out there willing to wait. I mean look at all the prisoners with ladies waiting for them on the outside,lol


That one baffles me to no end...
You KNOW, FOR AN ABSOLUTE FACT the guy/girl is a criminal, capable of things not only outside moral standards, but WAY outside the law...

While service members REQUIRED to maintain standards much higher than the average population (military bearing & justice) get dumped constantly!

I understand gears & wires, people make no sense to me most of the time...



Oregon1986 said:


> It seems getting married later in life gets a bad rap


It sure does!

"What's wrong with you?" Is what I used to get a lot.
Well, military until 34, a couple of years to get put back together,
Didn't mistake 'Avaialble' for 'Suitable'...
Didn't do the 'Singles' or 'Hook-Up' thing, a waste of time in my opinion persue 'One Night Stands',

I waited for a fully developed adult with a moral code, education & work ethic similar to mine that I also had 'Chemistry' with.

AFTER you get married is a terrible time to find out your partner is a miserable person. 

In my case, talks/snores in her sleep is something I can live with.
Liking clown/gnome statues freaks me out a little, but I can live with it.

Finding out the hard way someone 'Grows Into' sleeping around, stealing, lying, develops drug/alcohol/gambling problems would be a deal breaker.
Still attached to them since the 'Growing Into' part involves kids, so 19 years attached at the wallet minimum, and a miserable person having influence on your kids you can't do anything about...


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## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

JeepHammer said:


> That one baffles me to no end...
> You KNOW, FOR AN ABSOLUTE FACT the guy/girl is a criminal, capable of things not only outside moral standards, but WAY outside the law...
> 
> While service members REQUIRED to maintain standards much higher than the average population (military bearing & justice) get dumped constantly!
> ...


Yeah I do not understand people either,especially the whole prisoner thing. I've heard many woman say, "They've changed while inside". Bull poop,that's just what they want you to think! What breaks my heart even more though is the men and woman serving in our military who have spouses at home cheating on them,wrong on so many levels! I understand people get lonely but that is what adult stores are for!


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## Miss Kay (Mar 31, 2012)

Goodness this is a depressing post. I just don't get how it can be so hard to find the right one. I have so many family members who never married but always wanted to. I'm like, "what are you waiting for?" I mean there are single people everywhere! I have this one brother who never had trouble finding a woman. He just had trouble staying with them! He was not handsome nor rich but he could get pick up a beautiful woman any day of the week. He had two things that can't be beat, confidence and humor! He went out to eat with us once and sure enough, he started talking to our waitress and before the meal was over, he had her eating out of his hand so to speak!


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## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

Confidence and humor can go a long ways


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## Kelih (Mar 12, 2021)

It seems online dating is really popular nowadays, I wonder is it worth trying? Due to the pandemic, everything is closed so I don't know where to meet women.


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## RockOn (Jun 12, 2021)

Kelih said:


> It seems online dating is really popular nowadays, I wonder is it worth trying? Due to the pandemic, everything is closed so I don't know where to meet women.


Depends what you are looking for. It is not easy to find someone on the dating website. Don't put your hopes too much up. And definitely be wise in choosing the platform. My brother in law said he is checking senior dating canada and its not bad, all the rest dating platforms are mostly for 20-30yo, tons of vulgar photos there and people are often rude to each other.


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## mreynolds (Jan 1, 2015)

RockOn said:


> Depends what you are looking for. It is not easy to find someone on the dating website. Don't put your hopes too much up. And definitely be wise in choosing the platform. My brother in law said he is checking senior dating canada and its not bad, all the rest dating platforms are mostly for 20-30yo, tons of vulgar photos there and people are often rude to each other.


Glad I don't have to worry about that.


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