# Never thought it would happen. 18 years down the drain.



## MinerJohn (Jul 2, 2007)

Never thought after 18 years I'd end up in divorce but I did. How in the world do you start over at 44 years old. Don't even know where to start..lol :hair


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## Marshloft (Mar 24, 2008)

Remember,,, you'r* ONLY *44,, you got another 44 still in you.
You started the first 44 as a baby,, the next 44 as an adult.
Let time heal you,, you'll be just fine.


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## Guest (Oct 1, 2012)

44 huh?? LOL.
It's a hard life
to get a break in
All the good things
have been taken


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## MinerJohn (Jul 2, 2007)

I like that one. lol...I was a realist too..That's the part she hated the most..lol..I'll survive just fine, just gotta figure out what to do with all the extra time and space!




zong said:


> 44 huh?? LOL.
> It's a hard life
> to get a break in
> All the good things
> have been taken


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

Well, you could look at it as 18 years down the drain, or you could see it as a learning experience for the next 18.


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## foxfiredidit (Apr 15, 2003)

You'll be okay. Just stay off the (hiccup,..!! dang it..) booze.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

MinerJohn said:


> I like that one. lol...I was a realist too..That's the part she hated the most..lol..I'll survive just fine, just gotta figure out what to do with all the extra time and space!


I could use a carpenter and someone to cuddle with on the couch while watching movies, that's all the advice I have. I really suck at relationships, so anything i have to say would be detrimental to your healing process.

Sorry, you are going through this, it sucks!!


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## whiskeylivewire (May 27, 2009)

I'm 35 but I feel a bit of the same...when I was younger and in between husbands I could go to the bar and party and just have a wonderful time!

Now, I feel like a creeper out at a "club" (local hang outs not so much), I get too tired if I stay out all night and I have no desire to hook up for one night (have you seen the reports on the new antibiotic resistant gonorhea? eek!). 

I honestly don't have that much down time between school and kids and their actvitites and such but when I do I watch a ballgame on tv, I read a book, I get on here and mess with zong and elkhound and stuff.


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## whiskeylivewire (May 27, 2009)

Ok that inbetween husbands thing makes me laugh...it makes me feel like my pick up line should be...

"wanna be my next ex?"


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## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

:donut:

((( soft donuts and warm hugs )))

Keep your chin up!

:donut:


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## MinerJohn (Jul 2, 2007)

I did the bar thing years ago..No use for it now..I'll stick to tryin the grocery store..lol


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

whiskeylivewire said:


> ok that inbetween husbands thing makes me laugh...it makes me feel like my pick up line should be...
> 
> "wanna be my next ex?"


rotf!!!!!!


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

Something is in the water...this is getting a little freaky


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

MinerJohn said:


> I did the bar thing years ago..No use for it now..I'll stick to tryin the grocery store..lol


May I suggest the vegtables section, next to the cucumbers, when they put out a new batch....LOL


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## MinerJohn (Jul 2, 2007)

LMAO..Now THAT is funny!!!




Fowler said:


> May I suggest the vegtables section, next to the cucumbers, when they put out a new batch....LOL


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## whiskeylivewire (May 27, 2009)

Cucumbers have those little bumpy ridge thingers that can poke you....

Okay, I have a completely dirty mind and now I have to go wash it out with bleach.


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## Bandit (Oct 5, 2008)

In a grocery store I would look for someone buying " scratch " , at least they might know how to cook .


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## MinerJohn (Jul 2, 2007)

LOL...Better turn me loose
Better set me free
'Cause I'm hot, I'm young, running free - little bit better than it used to be




whiskeylivewire said:


> Cucumbers have those little bumpy ridge thingers that can poke you....
> 
> Okay, I have a completely dirty mind and now I have to go wash it out with bleach.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

whiskeylivewire said:


> Cucumbers have those little bumpy ridge thingers that can poke you....
> 
> Okay, I have a completely dirty mind and now I have to go wash it out with bleach.


No your thinking about a crook neck squash now there's a.......nevermind


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

All I can picture is Grandpa Gustafson in the grocery store.


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## glazed (Aug 19, 2006)

:stars:

Oh my goodness gracious me ............

:stars:


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## Darren (May 10, 2002)

Fowler said:


> May I suggest the vegtables section, next to the cucumbers, when they put out a new batch....LOL


Animal House? I loved that movie. It was so realistic.


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## txplowgirl (Oct 15, 2007)

I had been married for 21 years and walked out of an abusive marraige with just my clothes in a duffel bag at the age of 38. 

Was single basicaly unless you count a somewhat on/off boyfriend for 9 years. 

What's hard is getting remarried and learning to live with someone again after your used to living on your own for nearly 10 years. Now that's hard. At least for me it is.


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## whiskeylivewire (May 27, 2009)

MinerJohn said:


> LOL...Better turn me loose
> Better set me free
> 'Cause I'm hot, I'm young, running free - little bit better than it used to be


Ah a fellow Motley Crue fan...you'll do just fine, honey


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## littlejoe (Jan 17, 2007)

It's all good if you let it be! Write a new book about your life, using the perspective from your last!


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## whiskeylivewire (May 27, 2009)

Fowler said:


> No your thinking about a crook neck squash now there's a.......nevermind


Nuh uh! Cukes can have those little pokey things on them! Zuchini are smooth and stuff...


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

whiskeylivewire said:


> Nuh uh! Cukes can have those little pokey things on them! Zuchini are smooth and stuff...


Try pealing them first it's like a fancy spa treatment...LOL


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## whiskeylivewire (May 27, 2009)

I can't even type what is going through my mind! I'd be infractioned and censored and thrown in jail for life...I'm a deviant or something! lol


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

whiskeylivewire said:


> Nuh uh! Cukes can have those little pokey things on them! Zuchini are smooth and stuff...



two words for you....smooth ridges


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

poor minerjohn...we done jacked his thread....we owe him one now.


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## whiskeylivewire (May 27, 2009)

Stop! Oh good grief...I have jokes about bananas, eggplants, watermelons and pineapples going through my head...


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## Guest (Oct 1, 2012)

We'll tell him its an initiation. The first 10 or 11 times anyway.


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## whiskeylivewire (May 27, 2009)

We haven't added a song yet to it so I'd say we're okay so far...


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## Guest (Oct 1, 2012)

I love the watermelon joke, the one with the scientist who said "I've discovered a remarkable similarity between watermelon and the *******. I actually invented that joke


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## whiskeylivewire (May 27, 2009)

I have kids sleeping and one of them is asleep about 3 feet from me (DS13 has to sleep in the living room on a futon) and my chest hurts from trying not to laugh!


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

[youtube]HMRvaQEFeg4[/youtube]


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## whiskeylivewire (May 27, 2009)

Well, that was mean Fowler, it said the video doesn't exist lol


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

whiskeylivewire said:


> I have kids sleeping and one of them is asleep about 3 feet from me (DS13 has to sleep in the living room on a futon) and my chest hurts from trying not to laugh!



duct tape....lol


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## Guest (Oct 1, 2012)

Fowler, thats just bad. I like it. never saw a video says "this video does not exist" before. So, this video is just for you:
[YOUTUBE]-KT-r2vHeMM[/YOUTUBE]


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

It was a tease...LOL

Just smell the hankie...LOL


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## whiskeylivewire (May 27, 2009)

Why would I smell the......


*thunk*


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

MinorJohn get back here!! this thread of yours is out of control!!...LOL


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## wildhorse (Oct 22, 2006)

John 44 really...it is just a number...look at this as an opportunity to build your dreams and grow.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

whiskeylivewire said:


> Cucumbers have those little bumpy ridge thingers that can poke you....
> 
> Okay, I have a completely dirty mind and now I have to go wash it out with bleach.


find a man to help you wash it. Bath time is better in pairs.


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## Guest (Oct 1, 2012)

44 is way, way over the hill.


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## whiskeylivewire (May 27, 2009)

It shows he's viewing it...he might just be so shocked that it's like watching a train wreck or something...

And you're the one making people smell hankies!


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## Guest (Oct 1, 2012)

If you pass out from fright, with your computer on, it will show you're an active user. viewing the thread. Maybe that's what happened.


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## whiskeylivewire (May 27, 2009)

I'm starting to feel bipolar...I'm being serious on two thread and on this one I'm laughing hysterically....on the inside very quietly as to not wake up the cranky teenager.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

I think he's an irresposible host, he started the party and bailed with all the cucumbers...LOL


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## whiskeylivewire (May 27, 2009)

It might have been the pineapple that did it lol


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## Guest (Oct 1, 2012)

I heard she was bipolar, and I'm OK with her ambiguity. But with bears?? That's just wrong!


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

That pineapple was for the ring toss later....LOL Jezzzzzzzzzz


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## whiskeylivewire (May 27, 2009)

I need to get some sleep in order to have a productive day of learning and to get the kids to school...

Good night everyone and try not to besmirch my name whilst I am away!


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

i been getting lost lately and posting in the wrong thread at times....lol


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

i cant wait to see yall with the hulla hoops.


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## Marshloft (Mar 24, 2008)

elkhound said:


> poor minerjohn...we done jacked his thread....we owe him one now.


 Yeah,,, I'm thinkin fowler and whiskey should get together and work out the kinks.


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

Marshloft said:


> Yeah,,, I'm thinkin fowler and whiskey should get together and work out the kinks.


That could make it worse!


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## Shrek (May 1, 2002)

MinerJohn said:


> Never thought after 18 years I'd end up in divorce but I did. How in the world do you start over at 44 years old. Don't even know where to start..lol :hair


Last I read was that about 60% of marriages end in divorce so with that figure in mind , up to 30% of married folk could find themselves going through the "Big D" unwillingly but a good portion of the 30% probably are happy going with the flow and let the relationship end.

As far as how you start over at 44 years old , that's simple. You start over providing first for yourself then what you can or are required to do for any minor children but without an unhappy spouse under the same roof. Best part is you get to start over without a lot of drama unless that is what you want to start over with.

I started over when I was 41. A woman I know of divorced when she was 63 and her husband was 70.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Well I guess our "welcome wagon" didnt fair so good. He shut his door and locked it...LOL


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## whiskeylivewire (May 27, 2009)

haha no he didn't it still showed him in here earlier! lol


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## Guest (Oct 1, 2012)

He's probably swamped with PM's, women propositioning him and stuff. That happens to everybody except me!! At least, that's what everybody tells me.


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## Darren (May 10, 2002)

I'm one who thinks humor is more often appropriate than not. If you can laugh, it helps. But when you're down in the dumps and you feel like you're at the bottom of a well without a ladder, humor can seem pretty inappropriate. Too bad we don't have a switch we can reach over and flip.

You're leaving me? Hahahahaha. Thanks! Eventually I know I'll be better off. Might as well LMAO and get on with my life. Does that happen ... nope! We usually end up trying to figure out how we ended up being a loser eventhough we aren't. That inward reflection stuff really sucks. We put ourselves in the well of misery. Self pity rots you from the inside out.

Yeah it's a kick in the head. Nobody enjoys that. It still comes down to attitude. You can let misery get you in a head lock or you can think "**** it." I'm moving on. Here's hoping you're moving on.


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## willow_girl (Dec 7, 2002)

> Ok that inbetween husbands thing makes me laugh...it makes me feel like my pick up line should be...
> 
> "wanna be my next ex?"


That reminds me of an old joke:

Woman in bar: You look just like my fourth husband!
Man: Cripe, how many times have you been married, lady?!
Woman: Three 

:hysterical:


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## whiskeylivewire (May 27, 2009)

How many times have you been married, WG? I honestly forget...

I just keep telling people that my dream is to be just like Liz Taylor


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## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

Funny. I've started over a lot. A LOT. For a variety of reasons, circumstances, etc. I've started over at least 12 times so far....at least....I don't think about it much because it's such a pattern in my life...and I have had a pretty interesting life. In fact, I'm not even sure if I see it as "starting over"....more like "moving on", I dunno...don't regret any of it.

You'd think I'd have some sort of advice. :shrug: I don't. None. LOL weird.

Maybe I do have advice:

"ON TO THE NEXT ADVENTURE!!!!" There you go.


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## whiterock (Mar 26, 2003)

MinerJohn, I was married 32 years when I got my divorce just a couple weeks before my 56th birthday. By that time it was like a long awaited bday present. Life had gotten pretty miserable, and I knew it was coming, just not sure when.
Ed


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

just a young man is all you are minerjohn. you'll do fine. 2 friends of mine 73 and 74 just got their divorces last month.they're out and about already. the failures had something to do with the wives not wanting them to use Viagra. but that's for another post. ~Georgia


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

Sorry to hear you are going through this, John. I keep telling myself that 42 isn't old, so 44 must not be either! 

Hang in there (and don't let all of the crazies here on ST scare you away...they like weird stuff like vegetables and white hankies!)


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

mommas home.....run yall


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

elkhound said:


> mommas home.....run yall


Don't you know it!!!! (You are killing me!!!) :nana:


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

last night..i went to bed and was laying there in the dark laughing about all the fun we had.


its good to have a tummy that jiggles when you laugh....lol


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

elkhound said:


> its good to have a tummy that jiggles when you laugh....lol


Like St. Nick??? :teehee:


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

shanzone2001 said:


> Like St. Nick??? :teehee:


naw..more like grizzly adams


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

elkhound said:


> naw..more like grizzly adams


You know I have a thing for Grizzly Adams...way better visual than St. Nick!!! :happy2:


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

i am in basic training now 

[youtube]3U8pAM4VXvI[/youtube]


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## whiskeylivewire (May 27, 2009)

I know what you mean, elkhound. I couldn't stop laughing!


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## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

I'm in the same place, starting over. BUT I am basking in the gift of it, that it happened when I'm still young enough to enjoy it and ride the heck out of it. I was in a bad place, now I'm free. I don't have all the answers of what I will do, but it's ok.

My husband thought it would crush me to have everything taken away, he was always telling the kids I'd be a basket case. But it's the best thing after everything a huge opportunity for someone like me...just goes to show how he didn't know ME (or at least remember).

PS I know it's scary and overwhelming though--but if you take away the "normal" expectations of what the American Dream is supposed to be, and think about your own possibility, and are able to be creative and not need a lot, the whole world is out there.


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## BetsyK in Mich (May 14, 2002)

Eighteen years is a long time. But are they really down the drain? Were any of those happy years with you and your wife, any kids because of those eighteen years? Please look at the positives of your life, even though it feels like there are none remembering the good times will help you find the strength to get through this experience. 

And please keep us up to date with what is going on. Lots of people on here can help you. Even those who feel they have to make junior high jokes about vegetables on your thread do care. I can imagine how difficult it was for you to come here, amongst strangers, and pour out your pain. Many of us have been in the same place as you and understand.


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## MinerJohn (Jul 2, 2007)

I already did the self pity and why me stuff. Got right on past that. Yes I have a daughter. She's 18 and in college. We had some good times but as I look back it was always endless drama. All of her siblings are in and out of jail, family warfare, just constant. She was 8 years younger than me which really started causing problems and we found over the years we had very little in common. Opposites may attract but it eventually becomes a problem. I was raised really old fashioned. You go to work every day, support and provide for your family at all costs, you make your decisions and live with it. Unfortunately that mentality did not work for her. I didn't spend near enough time listening. Lesson learned. 
The alone part of starting over isn't the hard part. I mean I can cook, clean, iron, and do my own laundry in the right temperature lol...It's the being in limbo of where do you wanna live, what adventure do you wanna take on now. Thankfully we don't fight and everything is very cordial.


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## whiskeylivewire (May 27, 2009)

Oh goody we didn't scare him off lol


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## jdrobison (May 28, 2012)

minerjohn, I in the same boat with you. I'm 46, married to someone I thought was the love of my life for 20 years and she up and leaves me for a older guy that still lives with his mother!!!she is 39. oh well, lost a wife and a friend. funny thing is I have friends now that I haven't really talked to for years because they say they didn't like her. lol the only thing I miss is someone next to me at night. Keep bizy and you wont have time to miss her.


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## Marshloft (Mar 24, 2008)

willow_girl said:


> That reminds me of an old joke:
> 
> Woman in bar: You look just like my fourth husband!
> Man: Cripe, how many times have you been married, lady?!
> ...


 I must have been having a bad day,,, it took me all dang day,, until just now to get this... :doh:


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## Marshloft (Mar 24, 2008)

Minerjohn,,, you didn't mention any kids.


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## kacey (Dec 8, 2011)

Hey... the veggie section is the best place.... Smile a lot!!!!



Fowler said:


> May I suggest the vegtables section, next to the cucumbers, when they put out a new batch....LOL


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## Marshloft (Mar 24, 2008)

hmmmph,,, interesting that the women would be hanging out in the veggie section. Why is that?
Or,, is that a question that doesn't need answering,, just go with it and shut up.


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## Darren (May 10, 2002)

Marshloft said:


> I must have been having a bad day,,, it took me all dang day,, until just now to get this... :doh:


It only took you a day to figure it out? Bad is when your brain kicks in after a year or so and you finally figure something out.


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## awhobert7 (Jun 1, 2002)

Take it one day at a time. We where together almost 30 years. She died 8 months ago. You learn to live, and hope for the best. Oh I'm 51. A little harder starting over.


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

I've been a widow for 9 years. The first couple of years were rough, but somehow, I got through it - mainly by doing what needed to be done. Having the farm & animals to take care of took me outside of myself, and I HAD to face life. It got me through.


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