# Need to grumble



## Prismseed (Sep 14, 2009)

Been out with a new group of friends, meeting new people. It has been a blast. I met a young lady and she has some merits. She has also called me sweet, a gentleman, and on parting gave me a hug and told me I was a good man.

I've considered approaching her. Complications are she is in a relationship. She seems dissatisfied with it and I'm tempted but... I don't know the guy well but I've shaken his hand. Personal code dictates I not make a move, but ---- if I'm not a pinch tempted to be a  and try for her attention.

 sucks.


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## mickm (Jul 23, 2010)

Being a gentleman, and common sense may suck, but is right.

May be a whole bushel full of headaches there.


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## Guest (Jan 16, 2013)

Be especially careful if he tries to set you up with her.


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

Another heads-up: When someone calls you "sweet," it's code for, "You're nice enough, but there's not a chance in Hades this is going anywhere." 

All you can do is lay in the weeds and see if you manage to transcend "sweet." And sorry to say, you probably won't.


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## Prismseed (Sep 14, 2009)

Zong, that comment merits a story.


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## Prismseed (Sep 14, 2009)

So what is a word for sweet that isn't code? Longshot but I guess I could try correcting.


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

Ummm. Here are a few: Hot, sexy, delectable, worthy, intriguing, irresistible, compelling and soul-shaking. No code in any of those.


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## mickm (Jul 23, 2010)

Pretty well any word she uses, while she is eith someone else, is code for " your nice, but i dont want to be with you more then this jerk, but i do like your attention"

Think, she knows your single, doesnt she?


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## Prismseed (Sep 14, 2009)

This dating crap is to ---- complicated.

It's worse than learning a second language.


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## mickm (Jul 23, 2010)

Yep, i agree! 

I think a person has to get where they dont "need" someone, then they might find someone who will make their life better.

Of course, that aint workin tor me, but there are worse things then being alone.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

Here's something to consider. Get right up into her space ask why she doesn't choose a good man, a gentlemen who will treat her right? Then walk away. That's HOT!

If not her, she's got at least 5 girlfriends whining there are no good men out there. She will drag a few along next time.

Really guys, step up and step into the role you wish to be in a woman's life. You won't have who you want until you BE who she wants. Guess what? We WANT good men, gentlemen who are sweet, but freakin' step up and SHOW us you are MEN and express some masculinity.


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## mickm (Jul 23, 2010)

Oh laura, that is bwautiful. Unfortunately, its not true.

Voice of exsperience here.

And, while women may say that they want a nice guy, their definition of that is individul. 

If primeseed pursues this, i only see pain in store for him. Maybe i am prejydice, because i have been in the same situation on a few occasions. I have "stept up" on each occasion, and picked up my pieces afterword.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Mick, Ever word you said, I couldnt have said it better


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## Guest (Jan 16, 2013)

It's hard to know which is worse, vampires, or those who would feed you to vampires. The ones who would feed you to them, I think. They're sort of like vampire mamas feeding their little vampires.


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## NoClue (Jan 22, 2007)

Laura said:


> Here's something to consider. Get right up into her space ask why she doesn't choose a good man, a gentlemen who will treat her right? Then walk away. That's HOT!
> 
> If not her, she's got at least 5 girlfriends whining there are no good men out there. She will drag a few along next time.
> 
> Really guys, step up and step into the role you wish to be in a woman's life. You won't have who you want until you BE who she wants. Guess what? We WANT good men, gentlemen who are sweet, but freakin' step up and SHOW us you are MEN and express some masculinity.


 
yeah, I went there once and I didn't even get a lousy T-shirt.

After that experience, one of the primary qualifications I look for in a woman is that she has to be smart enough and pro-active enough to at least try and get herself out of a bad relationship.

I've been seriously mind-boggled lately by the number of women I've met complaining about their stalled relationships with guys who are still legally married and refuse to divorce their wives. I'm sorry, but if you know that and you continue to stick to the relationship, you're only getting what you ordered.


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## mickm (Jul 23, 2010)

FarmboyBill said:


> Mick, Ever word you said, I couldnt have said it better




Bill, no offense, but i am not sure that i want you for an allie here! Lol


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

So you guys are saying the women you want are soul sucking, hatchet weilding two headed reptiles?

You might want to adjust your "Want" list.


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## mickm (Jul 23, 2010)

Laura said:


> So you guys are saying the women you want are soul sucking, hatchet weilding two headed reptiles?
> 
> You might want to adjust your "Want" list.


No, i am asking why she needs someone else to tell her, if she is in a bad relationship.

And

If she has single friends that would appreciate him, and he them, that is the way he should go.


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## mickm (Jul 23, 2010)

There are people, men and women, who are always unhappy in their current situation. When one starts exspressing these feelings to a pereon of the opposite sex, i dont completely trust their motivations.

I am being awfully judgmental here, for the little i know about it. I just dont see the upside for the guy. If she was interested in him, and truly in a bad relationship, why does he have to be the one to tell her?

I was extremely naieve after my divorce, and went towards every compliment i recieved, only to find people will use you. Some were bad people, and some were in bad situations, however i was always the looser.

i have decided love is probably jot in the cards for me.


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## mickm (Jul 23, 2010)

Aghh, i hate my phone!....

As i was saying, love may not be in the cards for me, atleast from a woman, but i do recieve it from my child and friends. Even the women who have known me, will tell you i am a good man. I am comfortable with that.

Every time i get lonely, i think about the,misery of my divorce, and realise it aint so bad being lonely.

Love to meet someone who appreciates me, and i them, but I am responsible for my happiness.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

mickm said:


> No, i am asking why she needs someone else to tell her, if she is in a bad relationship.
> 
> And
> 
> If she has single friends that would appreciate him, and he them, that is the way he should go.


 It ain't about her. It's about men stepping up and showing they have a pair.

Seriously Guys, if we women have to do all the work, we might as well get a girlfriend or have another kid.


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## mickm (Jul 23, 2010)

Laura said:


> It ain't about her. It's about men stepping up and showing they have a pair.
> 
> Seriously Guys, if we women have to do all the work, we might as well get a girlfriend or have another kid.



So the guy has to do all the work? And take the butt whooping from her curremt boy friend and put his feelings out there?

Sorry, been there done that. The guy does the "right" thing, which csn be argued, cuz she is in a relationship, and gets to go home and lick his wounds alone. Life aint a nicholas sparks novel.

It's not about the woman doing all the work.

Its why does she stay in an unhappy relationship?


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## NoClue (Jan 22, 2007)

Laura said:


> So you guys are saying the women you want are soul sucking, hatchet weilding two headed reptiles?
> 
> You might want to adjust your "Want" list.


 
No, I'm saying I want a self-aware and self-actualized adult.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

Nowhere did I state go after another man's woman. Step up, say it, *walk away.*

What's with the emo whinefest? We've all been hurt. If you don't like what you've been getting, change yourself for the better.


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## mickm (Jul 23, 2010)

Laura said:


> Nowhere did I state go after another man's woman. Step up, say it, *walk away.*
> 
> What's with the emo whinefest? We've all been hurt. If you don't like what you've been getting, change yourself for the better.


Emo whine fest! Lol!

While you are saying women are not able to think for themselves, she needs a man to tell her she doesnt have to be in a bad relationship!

Thats a hoot!


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

mickm said:


> Emo whine fest! Lol!
> 
> While you are saying women are not able to think for themselves, she needs a man to tell her she doesnt have to be in a bad relationship!
> 
> Thats a hoot!


 Dude, you're still reading it through your own emotions. Find where I said that. I didn't.

If the woman is in a "bad" relationship, it's because he's the only guy around showing any balls. 

Show yours and have the women all over you.


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## mickm (Jul 23, 2010)

See, what you are saying laura is that even though i am happy with my self, i should change to make someone else happy, or rather ps should change to take a chance of maybe, kinda sorta, dating this chick who chooses to stay in a bad relationship.

Gotta admit, i resent the emo whine fest comment. Lots of ways to be a man, and because i can and have gotten hurt, doesnt make me less of one.

Just because i am not an arrogant jerk, who thinks women are unable to think for themselves, doesnt mean i dont have "balls".

Heck, i even have the pics to prove it!


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## mickm (Jul 23, 2010)

Laura said:


> Dude, you're still reading it through your own emotions. Find where I said that. I didn't.
> 
> If the woman is in a "bad" relationship, it's because he's the only guy around showing any balls.
> 
> Show yours and have the women all over you.


So a woman has to have a man, even if he's a bad one?

Your wanting the night in shining armour to come sweep you away! 

Maybe, just maybe, knight wants a woman who can think for herself.

I am betting ps would have already made the move, if she was single. That is my whole issue with this exact situation.

Put it this way, if a woman came up yo your man, and said, "why do you stay with someone who treats ya bad?"

What would you say?

See, we dont even know if she is treated bad, she is telling guys she only recently met , she is in a bad relationship.

sorry, my advice to her would be, "well then get out of it!"


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

Tough on the outside, soft on the inside. Women like m&m's.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

Dude, again I never said "Date this chick."

Sure you males have testicles, but you need to stop wearing them as ovaries if you want to attract the kind of women you actually want.  

Unless you WANT soul sucking, hatchet weilding two headed reptiles who leave you in a quivering gelatonous mass. Then stay the wallflower waiting for them smell your vulnerability so they can find your chain and yank it. No need to change unless you want to.

Just saying what we women want in a man for a healthy relationship and we won't settle for less.


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## simi-steading (Sep 27, 2012)

I've found that most times, the more "mysterious" and "bad boy" you tend to be or look, the better your chances are of them wanting to dump a guy they aren't happy with and hang out with you... even if only for a night.. 

of course your mileage may vary, but it's worked well for me...

Sweet isn't a good thing in this case...


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

I wonder if men were more or less forth comeing back in the 50s thereabouts, way before Womens Lib.

N ow, a guy has had it hammered into him that , its a new age, Women can take care of themselves, women can control situations, women dont need/want men like they once did

Well. with that welded into our minds, We tend to think comeing up to a woman, that shes liable to say. HEY its a new age. I dont need you or want you. IF I DID, I would have told you. Get lost till I want you. AND hold your breath.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Youve got it Simi. Weve said that MANY times on here.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

WoW...I like men that have feelings and emotions. It shows they have a heart and possibly willing to communicate and express their needs and desires. 
I dont want a caveman, that gruts and scratches his self while I pretend to be a doormat. No thanks.

Communication and mutual respect is key to any relationship. And I will choose that over an emotionless, chest banging ape.


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## mickm (Jul 23, 2010)

Dang, cuz i think a woman should be able to think for herself, i have ovaries, not testicles. Dang, i didnt know that!

I think asking this bunch for dating or relationship advice, is like asking broke folks about money, or fat people for diet tips.

We have our opinions, Prejudiced by own our own exsperiances, but we have proven we aint figured it out.


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## mickm (Jul 23, 2010)

Fowler said:


> WoW...I like men that have feelings and emotions. It shows they have a heart and possibly willing to communicate and express their needs and desires.
> I dont want a caveman, that gruts and scratches his self while I pretend to be a doormat. No thanks.
> 
> Communication and mutual respect is key to any relationship. And I will choose that over an emotionless, chest banging ape.


Thanks fowler!

After i get through crying about my feelings Laura hurt, i will now be able to put on my big boy panties and go to work!


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Women in general are just heartless wenches. Treat them bad and they'll love you long time.

However some women like me...like men that have emotions and feelings, it makes them better comunicators. I will choose this any time over a chest banging ape.

Laura your balls are showing where your ovaries "should" be.

It's women like you that make men afraid to be themselves.

Protect me!!...Be sweet now...take charge...no let me do it....open this....move that...WOW...no wonder why men have no clue. They are trying to be what some women precieve a man should be....and what's sad...is these women are raising their daughters to be the same way!

News flash!!! Men are humans too...and it's time we start treating each other with dignity and respect.


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

mickm said:


> After i get through crying about my feelings Laura hurt, i will now be able to put on my big boy panties and go to work!


That made me laugh!!!:lookout:


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## coolrunnin (Aug 28, 2010)

simi-steading said:


> I've found that most times, the more "mysterious" and "bad boy" you tend to be or look, the better your chances are of them wanting to dump a guy they aren't happy with and hang out with you... even if only for a night..
> 
> of course your mileage may vary, but it's worked well for me...
> 
> Sweet isn't a good thing in this case...


Thats how I used to guarantee not spending the night alone in the old days, but then the woman that attracts generally doesn't get taken home to meet Mom...:icecream:


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## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

I am nowhere near being able to say what my idea is about this, but there is something about being so woman that can bring out the so man in a man...men light up and will "storm castles" for it, to protect it.


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## oregon woodsmok (Dec 19, 2010)

Prismseed, there is a percentage of women out there who will never jump out of a relationship until they have another relationship all lined up and a new nest to move into. To me, they look weak, or insecure, or unable to care for themselves. Or else they are users and just looking for a paycheck to glom onto. Can't let go of one paycheck until another one is lined up to use.

If you want that sort of woman, then fine, but with that sort you risk of getting involved with a power trip type who will try to play 2 men off against each other and try to get them to fight or show jealousy. Not very healthy, that.

If you want a helpless woman (some men do) then go ahead and lift someone else's woman off their care and start to provide care yourself.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a man being sweet. Good natured and honest are both extremely attractive qualities in a man. Even better, they appeal to emotionally balanced, mentally healthy women who aren't manipulative game players. Um, in case, you would like to have a relationship with an honest sane woman (some men don't)


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## oregon woodsmok (Dec 19, 2010)

To me, a masculine man is organized, a hard worker, gets things done, and has very nice manners, because he doesn't have to prove anything to anyone. Those macho posturing types are doing the bantam rooster thing becasue they are afraid someone will notice they aren't so brave. or worse, they are terrified that someone might mistake them for gay.

A man who is considerate is a real man, as far as I am concerned. He is self-confident enough to think of others and not just of himself. There is absolutely nothing wrong with "sweet"


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

Well hey, I am handling and tanning bull scrotums so let the bull and the testosterone flow......The men I hang with have WAY more than I. They pursue and I NEVER have to lean forward with any of them. Not a whiner in the bunch, either. Sure, men need to be able to express themselves, but I don't like incessent whining in children, let alone adults. 

It's okay if insecure whiney men are afraid of me. I am not interested in them. I am not desperate for male companionship that I would put up with insecurity, whining or poor treatment. I openly enforce that boundary, and I do it frequently.

The men who pursue me are not afraid to let 'em dangle to vulnerable visiblity, to step up and act like MEN, be gentlemen, be honest, silly and have fun while establishing relationship.

Fun is the key. If meeting people, dating and establishing relationships isn't fun, you're doing it WRONG!


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## Ardie/WI (May 10, 2002)

Prismseed said:


> Been out with a new group of friends, meeting new people. It has been a blast. I met a young lady and she has some merits. She has also called me sweet, a gentleman, and on parting gave me a hug and told me I was a good man.
> 
> I've considered approaching her. Complications are she is in a relationship. She seems dissatisfied with it and I'm tempted but... I don't know the guy well but I've shaken his hand. Personal code dictates I not make a move, but ---- if I'm not a pinch tempted to be a  and try for her attention.
> 
> sucks.


I'd say that she likes you, BUT she is in a relationship so it's hands off! Good relationship, bad relationship, it's still hands off! If you pursue her now, you will always be remembered, in her mind, as a guy who'd chase another man's lady. Not good!

If, in the future, you hear that she is no longer in a relationship, invite her for coffee or something casual. Chat. Get to know her...even if it is just a friendship that develops because she probably has girlfriends.


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

Just be yourself....Simply ask....Hey ya want to do the diddle sometime?

If she slaps ya = answer is no

anything else is maybe to yes


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

Do the diddle????? :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

Fowler, I am sooooo tempted to post the text you just sent me about this thread!!!! I know, however, that I will be banned for life if I do!!!

:whistlin:

PS You are 100% correct in your assumptions!


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

I even had a 15 minute dazzling flirty conversation with Mike the Killer yesterday, the man that handed me the bull scrotum. His blue eyes twinkling and grinning ear to ear. He was even brave enough to say he'd been out to meet my horses and give them apples.

He wants to see my scrotums when they're finished.


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

Laura said:


> I even had a 15 minute dazzling flirty conversation with Mike the Killer yesterday, the man that handed me the bull scrotum. His blue eyes twinkling and grinning ear to ear. He was even brave enough to say he'd been out to meet my horses and give them apples.
> 
> He wants to see my scrotums when they're finished.


Indian Women would chew the leather they were tanning to soften it.....
So if their a little stiff......


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

L.A. said:


> Indian Women would chew the leather they were tanning to soften it.....
> So if their a little stiff......


 No thank you. This Clorox Indian woman is getting enough testosterone using my hands and breathing the vapors. Besides, I'm FUR tanning!


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## Warwalk (May 25, 2011)

Okay ~ here's how you're gonna land yourself a woman. Maybe not this woman, but nonetheless a quality girl. 

1) Focus on yourself, not on finding the girl. This means exercising, pursuing your goals, being involved in activities or hobbies or interests that you enjoy. It sounds counter-intuitive perhaps, but girls very much like when a guy seems driven and has things going on in his life. Not only this, but it will help the time pass much more enjoyably.

2) Focus on your guy friends, not on your girl friends. When you're out and about, especially at bars or clubs, your friends will be your greatest asset in finding a girl. Playing off of your guy friends, where each is a wing man for the other, the whole group will come across as far more attractive to members of the opposite sex than if you're the lone wolf at the end of the bar looking desperately like you want to "buy someone a drink". 

3) See the girls around you as being friends first. Any good relationship starts off as a good friendship, and if the girls feel like you're safe (meaning, not the lone wolf from the prior example) they'll move closer to you and be more comfortable talking to you, being around you.

4) Allow the girl the space and time to show you she's interested. This doesn't mean "let the girl do all the work", but by this point in the equation you should have a) shown her how interesting you are via the various things that you do, b) you're looking very good thanks to the good energy your other guy friends are pushing your way (and you pushing their way in turn), c) she's already comfortable with you. So, by now, she's close, she's interested... seen either from the eyes or expressions or close physical proximity. Now it's your turn to be bold. You can either keep this up for a period of time, meeting at the bar / bowling alley / church / hiking trail as a group, or you can step it up and start with the phone talk or ask her out for coffee. In part it depends on what you want, but I've found (I might get blasted for this, but), Coffee = friends, possibly more, Dinner = Possible relationship hopes, Drinks = Possible casual hookup. So, to me, choose coffee and work it from there.

Notes: Listen to what she says. Allow her time to speak, and then you speak, and back and forth. Don't dominate the conversation. Later, if necessary, write down parts that you might forget (it can be a turnoff when you ask her what her favorite band is for the third time, so you'll really have to listen).

Come across as self confident but don't brag or fake a certain swagger. Be who you are.

Don't talk about prior relationships much. They probably don't want to hear it, and if they start talking about theirs too much you can be headed toward "friends" territory, and not in a good way.

Allow them to set the tempo, and play off of this. If they aren't moving fast, you won't score any points by jumping the gun. If they're not ready to kiss, you'll see this as well. Look for how they hug as a precursor... if they hug you with one arm, a slight bending at the waist and pat you on the back, that's a friend. If you recieve a full body hug with both hands around your back, you're looking better toward the kiss.

Remember also: You are on an interview. Hopefully it's a soft interview, since she already knows your friends and knows you, but an interview nonetheless. You'll find the interview is over when the phone calls and texts cease. As long as they continue, you're still doing okay. Also, the interview is hers and hers alone. If you see any inconsistencies in her story, tuck them away, but don't challenge her on them... this is a quick road to the friend zone (and for the interview to stop). It's possible some subjects she's just not ready to talk about yet, and pushing things doesn't look good.

Well, that's about all I've got: Improve yourself constantly, treat her with respect, listen to what she says, have interesting things to say in turn, don't talk about ex'es, have fun, play off your friends, look for her signs that she's interested but don't jump the gun, and in general have fun!~


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

L.A. said:


> Indian Women would chew the leather they were tanning to soften it.....
> So if their a little stiff......


Sounds like you need a stool softener to me....:hysterical:


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Give her a scrotum, it works for Laura....LOL!!!


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

Laura said:


> No thank you. This Clorox Indian woman is getting enough testosterone using my hands and breathing the vapors. Besides, I'm FUR tanning!


Guess I've never seen fur on a bulls,,,,....umm,,,, bean bag


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

Fowler said:


> Give her a scrotum, it works for Laura....LOL!!!


 At least I had the good grace to accept it with a smile and a comeback!

Bovine testosterone apparently is quite the male magnet. I had masculine men all over me yesterday. 4 1/2 hours with 5 different men, 1 for lunch, Mike the Killer over afternoon snacks, 1 for dinner, 2 for dessert.

Think what you want but I ain't complaining.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

L.A. said:


> Guess I've never seen fur on a bulls,,,,....umm,,,, bean bag


 How close have you looked.....in the winter?

FUZZY!


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

Laura said:


> How close have you looked.....in the winter?
> 
> FUZZY!


 
Ewwwww! I need to get that visual OUT of my head!!!


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

shanzone2001 said:


> Ewwwww! I need to get that visual OUT of my head!!!


 NONONONONO!

We're gonna hug 'em and pet 'm and call 'em George!


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

oregon woodsmok said:


> A man who is considerate is a real man, as far as I am concerned. He is self-confident enough to think of others and not just of himself. There is absolutely nothing wrong with "sweet"


OW, you may have misunderstood my point. I never, ever said there was anything wrong with "sweet." And I never applied it to one gender or the other. I simply said that when a member of either sex says to the other that they are "sweet," and other, more descriptive words are never invoked, then it can often -- not always -- but often mean they like you, but they are not contemplating having a relationship with you. YMMV, of course.

I emphatically agree with you that there is absolutely nothing wrong with "sweet." But if I find such a man, I will make sure he knows I think a lot more of him than that.


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## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

Interesting stuff Warwalk. I gotta say this modern dating scene is for lack of a better word fantasmagorical.

I like being friends first. 

Shifting gears, I just deleted a psycho from my life, for good. It feels so good, but hurts like heck. I learned a hard lesson, but better learning it right out of the gate. 

I really appreciate someone who "friends" me first. It's really creepy to get that hunter/prey thing going on. I mean, it's delightful if someone expresses if they like me in a natural uninhibited way, but the minute I feel hunted,,,NO. I appreciate gentleness. 

HTH haha

Back to the psycho...something that cut deep... he charmed me, wanted me, I gave back generously in my big happy of just what I am. He answered that with "geez you're easy, you spoil me, that's icky"

WTH??? contrast with another someone who says thank you in every sense of the word, and appreciates the generosity of gift and gives back in kind. SWEET stuff!!! the real thing.

sucks tho to be drawn in, give so much and get slapped for giving. 

All that said, there ARE a lot of wonderful, sweet kind people out there!!!! big hugs for you all!!!!


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

Wyld, I want you....if I charm you will you give back to me???? You know I think you are one hot mama!


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## Warwalk (May 25, 2011)

@Wyld ~ those are good points. The older I've gotten the more I've found that periodically toxic folks in my life have to be purged. Some, I've known for years, others came along later. Some toxic folks I could tolerate, others not nearly as much. But as best I was able to rid myself of them the better I felt afterwards, so it's good you were able to get someone like that out of your life.


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## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

shanzone2001 said:


> Wyld, I want you....if I charm you will you give back to me???? You know I think you are one hot mama!


you do have horses...and I luuuuuuuvvvvvvvv to ride!!!!:icecream:


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## lonelytree (Feb 28, 2008)

wyld thang said:


> you do have horses...and I luuuuuuuvvvvvvvv to ride!!!!:icecream:


I could get banned for life. :whistlin:


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## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

I can ride backwards too.


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## summerdaze (Jun 11, 2009)

Prismseed said:


> Been out with a new group of friends, meeting new people. It has been a blast. I met a young lady and she has some merits. She has also called me sweet, a gentleman, and on parting gave me a hug and told me I was a good man.
> 
> I've considered approaching her. Complications are she is in a relationship. She seems dissatisfied with it and I'm tempted but... I don't know the guy well but I've shaken his hand. Personal code dictates I not make a move, but ---- if I'm not a pinch tempted to be a  and try for her attention.
> 
> sucks.


Prim, I believe there is a time for men to "step up", be bold, take a chance, etc. This is not one of those times. This young lady has already made her choice. In fact, she makes it over and over. Every single day that she is with the other guy. 
I believe you should step ASIDE, and go on and talk to other people. Make yourself available to others who are ALSO available. 
Also, don't think I really agree with the "sweet" interpretation some have. If I told a guy that I thought he was sweet, it would be because I thought he was, and have nothing to do with whether or not he had a shot. Sometimes people just say nice things to nice people.


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## lonelytree (Feb 28, 2008)

wyld thang said:


> I can ride backwards too.


:nono: Why do you hate me so much? :icecream:


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## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

lonelytree said:


> :nono: Why do you hate me so much? :icecream:


 
and diagonally upside down :teehee:


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

Hey Wyld, sweetie,,,,,,Want to do the d.........uh,,,,,nevermind....:nono:


:bowtie:


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

Perhaps I have been too hasty in my conclusions regarding the meaning of the word, âsweet.â I am open to learning about the error of my ways. However, for now I can only impart my own personal experience with the employment of this word, and to date, it has never boded well.

With respect to Prismseedâs dilemma, I agree with those who have said that if the woman is in another relationship, then she is not available and this should be respected above all else. 

As to Lauraâs suggestionâ¦ were you to behave in such a way with me, I would conclude you were a loon â and a tacky loon at that. Personally, I appreciate finesse in communication and find men who can say what they mean with a look far more persuasive than those who must resort to overt tactics. But to each her own. It just depends on what sort of woman she is, Prismseed. No wonder it's all so confusing.


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## Guest (Jan 17, 2013)

Not all women would be thrilled to be approached in such a manner by a man she just met..my immediate reaction would be that of, "who do you think you are to tell me I'm in bad relationship???"....A man that aggressive wouldn't be high on my list for a potential relationship......

To the OP..

You said that she seemed dissatisfied with the relationship...unless she had a conversation with you and said, "I am unhappy dating _____" then you have no basis for making an assumption of the status of her relationship..they may have had an argument..she may not have been feeling well..etc. someone else posted to leave it be unless you hear she's broken off with the other man..I agree..


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

Donât feel bad, Prismseed. Youâre not the only one whoâs confused and grumbling. Now Iâm thinking about men who told me I was sweet and I thought they were brushing me off â and maybe they were my soul mates! GAWD, how dumb am I??? :doh:


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## Warwalk (May 25, 2011)

I'm eatin' my popcorn listening to Lonely and Wyld go back and forth... this is better than HBO y'all! =)


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## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

.....bareback.....


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## Warwalk (May 25, 2011)

*pfrtfrt! (just shot me' popcorn all over the screen, lolz!  Lonelytree, u'z got'z to step up and deliver breh!


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## Shrek (May 1, 2002)

zong said:


> Be especially careful if he tries to set you up with her.


Ain't that the truth.

I didn't exactly set my ex up with hers but we were slightly acquainted through a third party. 
When he finally convinced her to totally cut free of me or my "cheaper to keep her" attitude finally convinced her to cut free, the look on both of their faces when she introduced him to me a few weeks after our divorce was final and I shook his hand and said "Thank You" was priceless.


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## Warwalk (May 25, 2011)

@Prism ~ In all seriousness though, from what you've said you just met this new group of people and are having fun hanging out with them. I don't know really what happened to the prior group of people, but I'd just have fun having fun.

Mackin' on a girl you've just met, after having just met her boyfriend, is one of the most eggregious of party fouls. Go with your first thoughts about ~not~ doing it, and just enjoy everyone's company.


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## JohnnyLee (Feb 13, 2011)

I agree with Warwalk, them kinds of girls are nothing but T-R-O-U-B-L-E. If she is cheating on him with you, she will cheat on you with someone else. Plain and simple.


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## SilverFlame819 (Aug 24, 2010)

Wow, 3 pages of responses. Sorry if I repeat something here, because I didn't read them all...

She knows you're single. If she was interested, she would dump him for you.
If she'll cheat on him, she'll cheat on you, so wait til she dumps him.
It's against your own code for a reason.
It's against the bro code for a reason.
Taken is taken, even if there isn't a ring on her finger. It feels wrong to you to pursue someone who is taken because it IS wrong.
Homewrecking = icky.


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## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

Prismseed..I think at one time you were considering being a Mason. Perhaps check out what sort of "code" they have about this sort of thing. There is a reason the order was created to build character; to be come men of some semblance of stature and character (not saying you have neither, don't really know you...but there are some answers there I am sure). Something that is sorely lacking in both men and women today.

Never did understand the jumping from one bed to another in terms of a relationship. I do not know that I have nor ever would start a new relationship with someone that I knew was in another just days before. But that is me...and I tend to be weird and have what some think strange ideals. :shrug:


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## Prismseed (Sep 14, 2009)

I never said I -would- do it. Just admitting that the temptation is there and it is frustrating.


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## Warwalk (May 25, 2011)

Weren't there some other cute girls in the group though? Also, so I've got a better idea of this whole thing, where did you meet up with these folks, and what happened to your prior amigos? Are you new to the area?


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## Shrek (May 1, 2002)

Prismseed said:


> I never said I -would- do it. Just admitting that the temptation is there and it is frustrating.


Not sure how old you are but Johnny Rodriguez summed this sorta situation up purty good about 40 years ago. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=J7TWL4tfKtU


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## Prismseed (Sep 14, 2009)

> Weren't there some other cute girls in the group though?


There were, but she acknowledged me and had a brain. The rest seemed to be hanging off the *cough* of my player friend who already bedded half of them and shoed them of in the morning.



> where did you meet up with these folks,


Karaoke/after party at the player's house



> what happened to your prior amigos?


Left this small town or thought 'Oh I won't get pregnant' and now have kids.


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## coolrunnin (Aug 28, 2010)

Prismseed said:


> There were, but she acknowledged me and had a brain. The rest seemed to be hanging off the *cough* of my player friend who already bedded half of them and shoed them of in the morning.
> 
> 
> Karaoke/after party at the player's house
> ...



From this information you need to acquire a better class of friend...


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

Ummmm, yeah. He "bedded half of them and shoed them off in the morning." Sounds like a great guy!!!


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## Warwalk (May 25, 2011)

hanging off the cough? or the cuff? (note to self: do a thread on colloquialisms)


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## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

Warwalk said:


> hanging off the cough? or the cuff? (note to self: do a thread on colloquialisms)


I think the guy's name was *cough* Richard


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## Prismseed (Sep 14, 2009)

> Ummmm, yeah. He "bedded half of them and shoed them off in the morning." Sounds like a great guy!!!


Aside from the fact he is a ---- he really is a good guy.


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## Prismseed (Sep 14, 2009)

Hrm perhaps promiscuous or nymphomaniac may be better terms.


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## littlejoe (Jan 17, 2007)

Naw he ain't! If you think he's an a---- then he might be treating you the same? He's not on a pedastle!

To satisfy everybody... just forget the chick and slap him him off his barstool!

Is he worthy of you being around?



Prismseed said:


> Aside from the fact he is a ---- he really is a good guy.


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