# Eargasms



## bare (May 10, 2002)

Well, not exactly.

I grew up with a grandmother who used to warn me constantly not to put anything bigger than a football or my elbow in my ear canal or my ear drum would explode and my brains would leak out. Of course she was full of other advice too, like don't play with snakes and don't ever, ever put dried beans up your nose.

Like most kids I was a bit rebellious and full of curiosity. I learned early on that as long as I was careful, I could play with snakes, especially the garter snakes and rubber boa's common to the river area. The only ones we really had to use a stick to play with were the rattlers.

Having successfully defied my grandmother on that issue, I defied the bean warning on a dare from friends. At first I was successful. One or two beans up the schnoz are pretty easy to snort out, but I discovered too late that there is indeed a limit and a reason for the caution. If you eventually stuff enough of them up there, some go a wee bit too far and you can't blow enough air through there to dislodge them. Using a finger to try and dig them out only makes the situation worse and not one of my so called friends would aid me by digging in my nose with an implement of some sort.

Eventually, I was forced to present myself to my grandmother for further advice and rebuke. While she did manage to get the majority of them out, I had to be taken to the clinic to get the ones wayyy up there.

It was probably a couple years before I felt daring enough to ignore any more of her warnings. I imagine it was a momentary itch in my ear and cautious application of a pencil that introduced me to the joyous tickle-shiver of a good eargasm. I've been a ---- ever since! 
What's with the warning on Q-tips? Something so obviously designed for the purpose? "Caution, do not insert into ear canal"!

Any object will do, but my true love is a good bobby pin. Sure, I suppose they also have a use as hair restraints, but I think they were originally designed for the express purpose of ear wax removal and those delicious eargasms.


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## Peacock (Apr 12, 2006)

ROFLMAO!!!

Yeah, a big me too here -- we know the official advice is to not use q-tips in the ear canal, but come on, who really obeys? My DH gets extremely upset if we run out of q-tips and he has to deal with wet ears after a shower. Then I'll get a new package, he'll open them up and moan...ooooh, aaaah...as he shoves them into his ears. Eargasm is a very apt term.

I never, however, put any foreign object up my nose as a child. 

My DH, OTOH, was dared by his older sister when he was 5 to put a plastic bead up his nose, and I understand the results were similar to your beans.

Maybe my lack of nasal experimentation was due to the fact I had no siblings.


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## roughingit (Apr 6, 2005)

Okay, you said nose, but first thing I thought of *grin*:

My mommy said not to put beans in my ears!
Beans in my ears! Beans in my ears!
My mommy said not to put beans in my ears!
B-E-A-N-S in my ears!

Now why would I want to put beans in my ears?
Beans in my ears! Beans in my ears!
Now why would I want to put beans in my ears?
B-E-A-N-S in my ears!

You can't hear the teacher (your parents) with beans in your ears!
Beans in your ears! Beans in your ears!
You can't hear the teacher (your parents) with beans in your ears!
B-E-A-N-S in your ears!

Hey, Charlie, let's go and put beans in our ears!?
Beans in our ears? Beans in our ears!
Hey, Charlie, let's go and put beans in our ears!?
B-E-A-N-S in our ears!

WHAT'S THAT YOU SAY? Let's put beans in our ears!
Beans in our ears? Beans in our ears!
WHAT'S THAT YOU SAY? Let's put beans in our ears!
B-E-A-N-S in our ears!

YOU'LL HAVE TO SPEAK UP, I'VE GOT BEANS IN MY EARS!
Beans in your ears? Beans in my ears!
YOU'LL HAVE TO SPEAK UP, I'VE GOT BEANS IN MY EARS!
B-E-A-N-S in her ears!

Hey, mommy we've gone and put beans in our ears!
Beans in our ears! Beans in our ears!
Hey, mommy we've gone and put beans in our ears!
B-E-A-N-S in our ears!

That's nice, boys, just don't put those beans in your ears!
Beans in our ears! Beans in our ears!
That's nice, boys, just don't put those beans in your ears!
B-E-A-N-S in our ears!

I think that all grownups have beans in their ears!
Beans in their ears! Beans in their ears!
I think that all grownups have beans in their ears!
B-E-A-N-S in their ears!


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## TaylorMade (Jun 8, 2006)

My father is a firm believer in bobby pins and passed that down to me and my three siblings...nothing beats that clean feeling after you've scratched out all that wax! Dh on the other hand loves his cue-tips. Maybe it's a guy thing? They don't (usually) wear bobby pins after all.


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## cricket (Dec 15, 2004)

No pins for me...Qtips only. Had horrible ear infections as a kid swimming competitively so I learned to dry out my ears with Qtips. I still can't have anything wet in my ears...Makes me shudder in horror just thinking about it. I'll clean out my ears several times a day sometimes... Had a friend tell me once that I was going to go deaf from shoving all that wax down my ear canal...Did an ear candling and guess what? Yep, no wax. Hmmmm....


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## suzfromWi (Jun 1, 2002)

I broke up at this one.  My family has the habit of making noise in the throat to scratch an itch in the ear. When doing it, the sounds that emote are very much like the grunts of a pig. people look at us like were from another planet, The funniest part is one day I heard my GGS, 10 months old trying to do it.....ahhhhhhh, it passes on....


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## via media (Jun 3, 2005)

I've got psoriasis in my ear canals. It's uncomfortable when something itches; it's _miserable_ when something itches that you can't reach. NOTHING feels better than a good scratching with a cotton swab. Ahhhhhh.

/VM


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## Pony (Jan 6, 2003)

Ahh, nothing like a good swab around the ear canal... It itches during grass allergy season, and nothing, NOTHING will make it go away but a decent Q-tip!

This reminds me of my kids 5th grade teacher. He had an annoying (and disgusting) habit of continually cleaning/scratching his ears with his keys! And no one ever called him on it, and he did it all day long during classes... Ugh! And then they tell kids not to put anything smaller than their elbows into their ears.

But I'll bet that no one ever asked to borrow that teacher's car!

Pony!


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## trixiwick (Jun 9, 2004)

Ahhhh, Q-tips, one of the small pleasures of life.  

Like cricket, I cannot stand the feel of water in my ears. I use two swabs after every shower. The worst is to go out of town and realize you forgot them! I also credit very clean ear canals with my excellent hearing.  

Anyone who can poke their brains in the process of cleaning out their ears had leakage to start with.


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## HeavenHelpMe (Apr 28, 2006)

Ooooooh



Aaaaaaaah



Yipeeeeeeee!


I love a good eargasm daily. We go through a box of Q-tips faster than we should, I guess. That's what we get for having very waxy ears and eczema. 

Sometimes it's so good it's really hard to stop. :baby04:


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## Bret (Oct 3, 2003)

Who would have ever guessed that there are so many of us closet q-tippers. I will admit to bumping my elbow on the wall coming down the stairs one morning and touching my brain with the swab. I am not a good multi-tasker.


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## tinknal (May 21, 2004)

suzfromWi said:


> I broke up at this one.  My family has the habit of making noise in the throat to scratch an itch in the ear. When doing it, the sounds that emote are very much like the grunts of a pig. people look at us like were from another planet, The funniest part is one day I heard my GGS, 10 months old trying to do it.....ahhhhhhh, it passes on....


I do that too, now the daughters are doing it. I use the q-tips and bobby pins also. Erasers are too slippery unless you get one thats roughed up a bit.


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## tinknal (May 21, 2004)

If you do this to a dog or a horse they will almost melt in your hand!


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## via media (Jun 3, 2005)

trixiwick said:


> Anyone who can poke their brains in the process of cleaning out their ears had leakage to start with.


No, no! You aren't supposed to stop until you hit brain matter! It's like of like pulling your car into the garage - you know to stop when your bumper nudges the back wall.

/VM


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## tinknal (May 21, 2004)

HeavenHelpMe said:


> Sometimes it's so good it's really hard to stop. :baby04:


Oh, I don't know about that. In some respects it is like that other kind of "gasm". After you have accomplished the feat any further effort is usually disappointing. :dance:


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## Ardie/WI (May 10, 2002)

When I was in high school, my best friend's mother told the story about her little brother. Everyone kept noticing that the kid stunk. They'd bathe him and he'd still stink. Finally, they took him to the doctor who discovered that he had stuck a bean up his nose and it was rotting.

My mother had the disgusting habit of scraping ear wax out of herself with a bobby pin but she didn't discard the pin. Gross! Ewwwwww.


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## MarleneS (Aug 21, 2003)

My husband says he was abused as a child by a mother who used bobby pins to clean her childrens ears. I think she got high mother marks other then that 

I had a doctor tell me once that using Q-tip to clean out your ears simulates the ears to make more wax...it didn't work, I still use Q-tips for that awww feeling 

Hugs
marlene


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## NWMO (Jul 26, 2005)

And don't even try to give me an "off brand" with plastic in the middle......my ears no better!!!

After a 6 month battle with an ear infection and several trips to ENT and family doctor, and numerous antibiotics, a physician assistant ordered an ear canal wash (whoa........talk about a great eargasm, folks!) The nurse and physician assistant removed major amounts of cotton that kept the infection nice and warm and active!!!!! 

Dr. threatened me with harm if another Q-tip came close to my ear......but trust me, every morning after the shower.......at least one Q-tip to dry up the water from the shower.....I do try to make sure all of the cotton appears to be "intact" when I pitch it in the trash!

And I too, grew up on the bobby pin.......but have made the modern day switch over!!


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## Peacock (Apr 12, 2006)

Okay, now be honest...who's going to head to the bathroom to get a q-tip right now after reading this thread?


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## bare (May 10, 2002)

Speakin' of ears...

I'm not a big fan of barbers but on rare occasions need to clean up for something or other. A few years ago my barber friend was well into his work when he paused and asked if I wanted him to trim this? Trim what I inquired? "This", as he gave a good tug and made tears come to my eyes as my ear canal exploded in pain. Problem was, his hand was a good foot from my ear! How could I have missed an ear hair a foot long? Sneaky thing must have been masquerading as a beard hair.

Prior to that, I thought my dad was the only human in the world with hair growing out his ears and I always thought it was the grossest thing! Heck of a thing to pass down to your offspring.


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## AR Cattails (Dec 22, 2005)

I just went and got me a q-tip. It didn't do anything for me. :shrug: I always use my towel to dry my ears after I get out of the shower although my sons and my husband go through a box of q-tips pretty fast. I'll keep trying until I get that awww feeling.


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## Zipporah (Jul 30, 2006)

> I'm not a big fan of barbers but on rare occasions need to clean up for something or other. A few years ago my barber friend was well into his work when he paused and asked if I wanted him to trim this? Trim what I inquired? "This", as he gave a good tug and made tears come to my eyes as my ear canal exploded in pain. Problem was, his hand was a good foot from my ear! How could I have missed an ear hair a foot long? Sneaky thing must have been masquerading as a beard hair.


:rotfl:


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## Peacock (Apr 12, 2006)

bare said:


> Speakin' of ears...
> 
> I'm not a big fan of barbers but on rare occasions need to clean up for something or other. A few years ago my barber friend was well into his work when he paused and asked if I wanted him to trim this? Trim what I inquired? "This", as he gave a good tug and made tears come to my eyes as my ear canal exploded in pain. Problem was, his hand was a good foot from my ear! How could I have missed an ear hair a foot long? Sneaky thing must have been masquerading as a beard hair.
> 
> Prior to that, I thought my dad was the only human in the world with hair growing out his ears and I always thought it was the grossest thing! Heck of a thing to pass down to your offspring.


Hilarious! My DH is pretty hairy too, though only in select places. I mean he never managed to grow any chest hair.  (I prefer it that way, thanks.) But when he goes for a haircut they have to trim his eyebrows. Sometimes he also has to shave the top of his nose! Isn't that weird?


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## Tessynae (May 13, 2006)

That's so funny! I used to work with a couple of people that had a couple of habits. One had a habit of taking the lids off of the pens and using that long tip to dig in his ear canal. Then he would put the lid back on and put the pen back. The other had a habit of taking the lids off of the pens and using that long piece to chew on or dig something out between his teeth. Then he would put the pen back where he found it. 

I lived for the day that one of them would catch the other in the act and put 2 and 2 together! (Because I sure wasn't gonna say anything!)  

That day did happen when the tooth picker walked in on the ear digger and almost puked!!!


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## Peacock (Apr 12, 2006)

Oh gross!

That reminds me of another little habit that bugs me...pen/pencil chewing. Not a big deal if you're the only one to use the pens or pencils, I guess. But I truly hate reaching for a pencil in a community jar and finding toothmarks all over it. Blech! The girl next door has a habit of doing that. She'll come over to visit DD and gnaw on her pens. Double blech!

Sorry for the thread hijack!


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## Jenn (Nov 9, 2004)

Confession: I use qtips. No eargasm- y'all are disgusting- but if I can't do it when I need to- every few days- I'm unhappy and itchy-eared. Travel and forgetting them also an issue. However I do believe overuse can lead to external ear infections (like swimmer's ear) in some folks and wax impactions in others. And I can use vinegar or rubbing alcohol in my ear canals to get rid of the itch (BTW NO rubbing alcohol if you have or could have a hole in your ear drum!!!)

Doctor's advice: never put anything in your ears, except as follows: maybe vinegar after bathing or swimming if there seems to be water in them. If you get a lot of wax olive oil to soften up the wax. and to doctor/nurse for rotorooter if that isn't enough. And if you're gonna put stuff in your ears, be careful not to harm self (limit depth, don't be distracted, ensure nothing left inside...) and to not set bad example for kids. I'd try not to qtip in front of my younger kids and would even flush or otherwise hide the qtips (and dental floss to avoid them cutting off their baby fingers) so they wouldn't try sticking them in their ears like mom and dad.


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## bubbba (Jul 6, 2004)

lol
When i was younger I hitchhiked across Canada n found myself in Whitehorse Yukon and stayin with this nice french guy.Well I hadnt seen a q tip in a couple weeks and i saw a box in buddies room. So I asked if i could borrow one and the guy got a lil excited and said sure thing "I likes cleanin my ears with a q-tip its just like a orgazz"(in a french accent) O how right he was . Love q-tips and so does my woman dang dogs even like em lol. Good thread

Peace


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## lsulenes (Dec 19, 2006)

NWMO said:


> And don't even try to give me an "off brand" with plastic in the middle......my ears no better!!!
> 
> After a 6 month battle with an ear infection and several trips to ENT and family doctor, and numerous antibiotics, a physician assistant ordered an ear canal wash (whoa........talk about a great eargasm, folks!) The nurse and physician assistant removed major amounts of cotton that kept the infection nice and warm and active!!!!!
> 
> ...


I too used to be a huge fan of that feeling that scratching with a Q-tip will give until this past summer. I normally have such good hearing that coworkers and students laughingly refer to me as "bat woman". In fact, when my kids were little, they thought I could see through walls because I would reprimand them for something they were doing or saying in the other room and they knew I couldn't see them. 

Unbeknownst to me, I developed an outer ear infection after going swimming for the first time in about 2 years. My ears had been itching more frequently, but I didn't think too much about it until they began to hurt and sound became muffled. I tried using over-the-counter stuff thinking that I had too much wax or water that wasn't drying, but finally I had to give up and go to the Dr. I had a severe infection in both canals (worst he'd seen) and he had to give meds for pain as well as a shot in the hip and pills to take. I got the questioning/lecture and learned that for me, my using q-tips had kept the canal irritated enough that the infection developed and ran rampant. 

All good, right? Not. I was in so much pain that 2 days later, I had to have wicked pain meds and couldn't hear out of either ear. For someone who can hear conversation 2 rooms away this is horrifying. I had to go back 2xs, was on meds longer than normal, and had one of the most painful flushes I have ever experienced because of the level of infection. It took over 2 months before my hearing was back to normal and was a struggle to keep from reaching for a q-tip each time my healing canals itched. I miss it, but have broken the habit because I don't ever want to experience that on purpose again. And since DH only has 50% hearing in one ear and 20% in the other, one of us has to be able to hear to keep the kids in line (& to survive).

The rest of you enjoy, just keep in mind that you must be careful not to scratch the lining so that bacteria doesn't get to move in and make your life miserable.


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## lonelyfarmgirl (Feb 6, 2005)

I had a friend once who ould chew the end of a toothpick until it frayed out, then use that to dig in his ears. he didn't care for qtips.
when my brother was little, he stuck a piece of a foam mattress in his ear or nose, dont remember. but I do remember mom taking him to the hospital, because we couldn't figure out where the smell was coming from.

and last but certainly not least, about 5 years ago (yes, I was 25), I was dating this guy who's parents were the classic farm family. late working dad, very conservative mom who stayed home and kept the house spotless. well, he he he, one day I came over and hid in the kitchen (lying in wait) for her to walk around the corner. I had shoved 6 little marshmallows up my nose, and when she walked into the kitchen, I shot them out at her. they bounched off her chest and rolled away. She of course was horrifyed, and I was rolling on the kitchen floor laughing. Boy the tears were streaming down my cheeks. I laughed so hard, it was quite a few minutes before I could even get up.


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## Charleen (May 12, 2002)

7th grade Social Studies with Mr. Cornell. He would sit in the front of the class and stick his car keys in his ears, wipe them on his pants and then back into his pocket. I always thought he was strange. A few years after retirement, he was arrested for sexually abusing children.


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