# Women can't cook??



## Pinetop Hunting

What's wrong with all the women born since 1970 that I've dated,married or been around that can't cook or take very good care of a home? Is this a lost skill? Did women stop learning how to cook growing up in the 80's and 90's?? I can cook very good but it'd be nice to have a woman that could occasionally cook a meal or feed the kids. Just wondering if cooking is also becoming a lost art.


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## Dixie Bee Acres

Doing anything for ones self has become a dying art. And not just with women. I know men who don't know the difference between an axe and a splitting maul. Worse than that, I know some who don't know the difference between a Phillips screwdriver and ground squirrel.
Unfortunately, most people, both genders, think home cooking means pull it from the freezer and put it in the microwave.


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## Pinetop Hunting

It's mindboggling. You are right,it is both sexes for sure.


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## bajiay

I am appalled by my sisters and how they consider making dinner to be ordering out or a frozen meal in the microwave or oven. They gripe about how much money they spend on groceries every month and yet they won't take the time to REALLY cook. We were raised in the same house, and yes, I am the oldest, BUT they were taught how to cook, they just won't. They can't believe that I spend less than $400 a month on my groceries, and then I tell them that also includes food storage, pet food, etc. It's crazy to me...


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## jwal10

Times have changed, man. Do it together. My sweet little 4'12" DD would let you know in no uncertain terms, sit on the couch and expect it! tough! She and her SO cook together. She learned it at home, Sweetie and I both cook/ed, sometimes together some times alone depending on who was doing what. Sweetie did most of the cooking when the kids were little and I was farming, I got sick and I did most of the cooking because I was not working and she was. When I went back to work I still did most as I was home before she was. When she retired we did it together. Now that I am retired and in better health and need the restricted diet I cook most of the meals. 

Sweetie didn't know how to cook when we got married (40yrs ago) I taught her and she is a great cook. As both my DS and DD are. Sweeties Mother was a stay at home Mom and never let her kids in the kitchen, even to get snacks. Sweetie was only 15 when we met, she worked after school and full time that summer. I farmed full time but we cooked most evening meals together when she came out after work. It was fun, we got to talk a lot and get to know each other. We were married less than 5 months later.

Sweetie is making BBQ rabbit, yams, garden salad and fresh baked bread for "dinner" in an hour, all by herself. I pushed a lawn mower all day yesterday, she gave me the day off. What a Sweetie...James


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## danielsumner

My DW can cook very well when she wants to, however she is allergic to the stove.


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## Kristinemomof3

I have a friend that is not a good cook at all. She blames her mom working & being a latch key kid. I am sn excellent cook, I give some credit to growing up on a farm, working along side my grandma, but really the last 20 years because of practice. If you want to be good at something, you have to practice. I'd rather not spend any more on food than I have to, we eat a lot of stuff from scratch


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## Peggy

I have a beef roast cooking outside in my dutch oven right now. I love to cook and I love learning how things where done in the 1800's. everything is a diedng art today!!! BOTH men and woman are different. things are different today than 100 years ago, 50 years ago, 25 years ago and even 10 years ago!!! 
Pinetop hunting, it starts with YOU!! get out and start a group, meet people. I just joined a homesteading group and we are leaning the OLD ways. there are people out there who are interested. you just have to look!


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## Pinetop Hunting

It'd be great just to find ONE!! Lol


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## Peggy

haha good luck! course you never know! Are you close to Silver spring, PA Motherearth magazine puts on a convention in Sept, I think it is 3 days. lots of info on homesteading. who know maybe you would meet someone there. also check out state parks some times they teach classes on the Old ways. Or google "meetup groups" there maybe a meetup group for homesteading people!


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## CraterCove

I came up in a family where my father cooked and we dreaded when my mother got out the skillet. She had some delusion that she could just cook magically without understanding anything about fundementals like technique and basic flavor palettes. She seriously cooked some beef and noodle concoction once where she added white sugar to it--- it was vile.

My husband's grandfather did all the cooking in their house, grandma was not allowed to cook. 

I grew up without learning how to cook because we had frozen fish sticks and canned corn cooked up in the microwave most evenings. Cold cereal for breakfast and whatever we could scrounge for lunches. When I got married I had about a year where we had no kitchen in our 'house' and I studied The Joy of Cooking and watched every Saturday cooking show on PBS I could. I learned how to cook and by the time I had a kitchen to cook in I did very well.

It's no longer your parent's fault once you reach a certain age. Anyone, male or female who cannot fix a decent meal should be ashamed of themselves. It's not rocket surgery (  ) it is science and art but it's not all that difficult. Instead of advanced feminine studies or basket weaving 101, maybe home economics should make a come back as a general ed. requirement in college... since it seems more recent generations don't believe anything outside of college is knowledge worth knowing.


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## Evons hubby

Pinetop Hunting said:


> What's wrong with all the women born since 1970 that I've dated,married or been around that can't cook or take very good care of a home? Is this a lost skill? Did women stop learning how to cook growing up in the 80's and 90's?? I can cook very good but it'd be nice to have a woman that could occasionally cook a meal or feed the kids. Just wondering if cooking is also becoming a lost art.


Cooking is not becoming a lost art in spite of the fact that June Cleaver passed away. Women cooks are getting harder to find all the time though, and just because many of yesteryears woman fed their families doesnt mean they were good cooks! My grandmother kept grampa "fed" for well over fifty years.... how did he know when supper was ready while out in the fields? That would have been the plume of black smoke rolling out the kitchen window. Todays women tend to be holding down full time jobs and spending their energy on careers rather than home making. They can earn enough that way to take care of themselves, pick up hubby's slack financially and besides...supermarkets sell tons and tons of no experience necessary, precooked, microwave meals. For what its worth, my Yvonne is an excellent cook, but I still have the kitchen duty during the week when my Yvonne is out humping up dollars.


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## simi-steading

I married a recipient of the Betty Crocker Homemaker of Tomorrow Award when she was in school... Man can she bake... I do most the other cooking though... I enjoy it... I learned to cook because my mother worked. I was 12 or so, and she would leave things out for me to cook.. like meatloaf, or Swiss steak and such.

I had no choice.. Mom and dad weren't happy to get home and dinner wasn't ready or close to it... I'm so glad I learned to cook, and I'm so happy my wife knows how too.

I was lucky enough to have a grandmother that taught me skills like making noodles and bread... You don't find that happening much any more.. 

I think Consumerism and marketing is what has taken away cooking skills. Companies prefer we buy their boxed and frozen items over meat veggies and fruit..


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## Laura Zone 5

Pinetop Hunting said:


> What's wrong with all the women born since 1970 that I've dated,married or been around that can't cook or take very good care of a home? Is this a lost skill? Did women stop learning how to cook growing up in the 80's and 90's?? I can cook very good but it'd be nice to have a woman that could occasionally cook a meal or feed the kids. Just wondering if cooking is also becoming a lost art.


IMHO

Since the 1970's and the Women's Lib Movement, women were trained to rebel against their God-designed calling, and told "she could do it all".
So cooking was not important anymore.
That was about the same time men decided that loving, honoring and cherishing the wife of his youth was to burdensome, and when the 'whim' hit him, he just hit the road.
That pretty much describes things since the 70's

Yes, cooking is a lost art and that is so unfortunate.
Our society as a whole loses.
There is so much more than just 'good tasting food'.....it's the whole experience, and how it unites people on a deeper level.
Myself, both of my girls, and my son, can cook.....from scratch....delicious and nutritious meals.
But I spent the time in the kitchen training them, letting them help, taking them to the store, and now growing, canning and dehydrating our own food. 
I can't wait to find someone who will take me hunting, show me how to field dress, and then show me how to process.....
But there ain't many of those guys left!


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## ejagno

In my opinion and from personal experience the mother of these young women got out into the work force and were not stay at home mom's who were there to teach their children let alone daughters how to be good homemakers. I applaud them for contributing to the families financial well being but we lost so much more in the process that money can't buy.


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## preparing

The "women's movement" was and is a progressive ideology. It wasn't a matter of giving women an opportunity yo stay at home and raise a family OR work outside the home. It shamed women into working out side the home.

The loss of skills was a natural consequence.

I chose home while the kids were little . Dh and i had little but i learned to cook from scratch by necessity ( no $, and we didn't accept WIC or anything else. I did However have a great.extended
family


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## Grumpy old man

Ms Grumpy and myself have 3 kids now in their 30's ,Although they were all taught how to cook before being kicked to the curb not one of them could be considered a cook of any sense of the word ,Fast food or expensive dinners is the world they live in now and when they are home it's as they are miffed that we made dinner and not driving 30 miles one way to go to outback .One son wanted to know if they had to clean the chickens before dinner ! I told him no we were having steak and to go out to the barn and cutoff a piece he wanted put to the fire from the hanging steer .He almost started walking to the barn ... Where did they get the idea they are so special they can't cook for themselves ?

You're not buying steaks like these from Outback !


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## Phil V.

I know several from the late 60's and early 70's that can cook. All of them grew up on a farm and helped get food around for the hay crew during the summer.


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## TxGypsy

I guess I just squeaked by the cut off point...I'm a 1971 model. Being raised by my Granny probably helped. I am, she says with a modest tuck of the head, highly skilled in most domestic duties. Not only can I produce almost anything that I may end up cooking, I cook from scratch. I was thoroughly schooled in the correct way to hang clothes on the line, scrub stains out of clothes and get the house clean enough to pass a white glove test. I can spin, weave, sew, mend and knit. I can clean and cut up most domestic animals, game and filet fish. I am adept at the gentle art of frugality. My Granny would have made a good drill sergeant! 

Now here is the flip side of the coin. I have never had a man appreciate what I do. I have encountered active aggression from other women my age....a LOT! They resent the heck out of the fact that I do all that I do. I guess they feel guilty or think that I am trying to get in the way of their 'progress'. 

As far as I can tell, the vast majority of men aren't interested in someone with domestic skills. All the single ones my age that I've met all want some 20 something year old with a firmer body, that will be easier to handle because she hasn't had the life experience that I have. Most of the men that show an interest in me are in their late 60's or 70's.

So as for your complaint of why there aren't more women out there with domestic skills.....it seems we just plain aren't valued. Supply and demand.


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## Pinetop Hunting

Laura Zone 5 said:


> IMHO
> 
> Since the 1970's and the Women's Lib Movement, women were trained to rebel against their God-designed calling, and told "she could do it all".
> So cooking was not important anymore.
> That was about the same time men decided that loving, honoring and cherishing the wife of his youth was to burdensome, and when the 'whim' hit him, he just hit the road.
> That pretty much describes things since the 70's
> 
> Yes, cooking is a lost art and that is so unfortunate.
> Our society as a whole loses.
> There is so much more than just 'good tasting food'.....it's the whole experience, and how it unites people on a deeper level.
> Myself, both of my girls, and my son, can cook.....from scratch....delicious and nutritious meals.
> But I spent the time in the kitchen training them, letting them help, taking them to the store, and now growing, canning and dehydrating our own food.
> I can't wait to find someone who will take me hunting, show me how to field dress, and then show me how to process.....
> But there ain't many of those guys left!


Well maybe me and you need to meet up since I'm a big outdoors hunter etc etc

I love cooking. It's not so much about the food to me as it is the family atmosphere and the experience it brings. Too bad it's a fading memory.


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## Becka03

preparing said:


> The "women's movement" was and is a progressive ideology. It wasn't a matter of giving women an opportunity yo stay at home and raise a family OR work outside the home. It shamed women into working out side the home.
> 
> The loss of skills was a natural consequence.
> 
> I chose home while the kids were little . Dh and i had little but i learned to cook from scratch by necessity ( no $, and we didn't accept WIC or anything else. I did However have a great.extended
> family



Amen!
My mom cooked but with nothing as we were dirt poor and she worked in a sewing factory- we were latch key kids- so I learned to make meatloaf in 6th grade LOL- my brother to this day swears by my meatloaf- I never got that creative till about 10 years ago in my 30's I read Taste of Home's bulletin board- there were a boatload of older women on that board and I learned to cook from my online friends! I make the best danged ham potpie with homemade noodles compared to anyone! 
I cook almost everything from scratch- my mom got me a used copy of Fannie Farmer's cookbook- 11th edition- I would die with out that- I learned roux and scalloped potatoes and muffins all of it from scratch-
I pride myself on being one of the few women in my age group that can cook ! I have my cook from scratch, frugal, work with nothing thing goin on pretty good- DH always says he never saw a woman not need to go to the grocery store and make the best stew or dish in the world LOL- the less I go to the store the better the meal! 
I try to teach my friends and pass on the lost knowledge- my Step Daughter- is a great cook cause she paid attnetion


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## Wolfy-hound

I think a lot of women who hear "I want a woman who can cook and clean house" run the other way because they don't want to be hooked up with a guy who thinks women should be barefoot and pregnant and speak only to say "Yes Sir".

I'm not saying that's what the OP is looking for, but when looking for those attributes, that's the attitude a lot of the guys have in my experience. Also, a lot of women probably can cook and clean but if they have interests otherwise, why spend the time doing that when they can be spending the time doing something they enjoy?

I know how to clean house, and cook basics. I can follow a fairly complex recipe if I try. But I despise cleaning house and I really don't often enjoy cooking, so I do simple stuff that I like to eat and I don't tout myself as a "cook" because I'm so indifferent to my cooking that it often doesn't turn out all that well. I'd rather be doing many other things than those two.

My husband was a better cook than me, and we split the cooking duties. We also split the housekeeping duties. Both of us worked too. It was great. He was the one who could bake and cook steaks, I did great with meatloaf and roasts. I did more laundry, he washed more dishes. It was a partnership.


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## Becka03

LOL- my friends think I am weird cause I make DH breakfast every morning to take to work and coffee too- and then pack his lunch- we work in the same bldg- so we meet for lunch and I prepare it LOL- and he washes whatever I dirty
I also pack my boys lunches and make them breakfasts each morning- 
I am not sayin we do not go grab a pizza once in a while- BUT- dinner out is a rare happening- and we normally eat together- 
I love being a 'wife' and would love to be barefoot and preggers LOL- but I am 41... so that ain't happening- 
I have my 25 yr old stepdaughter who just got engaged and hope she has grandbabies for me to play with and teach to bake!!!


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## Pinetop Hunting

Yeah folks,I in no way whatsoever think a woman should be barefoot and say yes sir and serve me. Every relationship I've ever had I have toted the load financially and domestically including taking care of the kids. It'd just be nice to find one now that knows how to cook and help out routinely and be my equal instead of sleeping till 2pm all the time while I chase kids,cook meals or do house and yard work. Tired of the modern lazy woman!!! Lol


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## Laura Zone 5

Pinetop Hunting said:


> Well maybe me and you need to meet up since I'm a big outdoors hunter etc etc
> 
> I love cooking. It's not so much about the food to me as it is the family atmosphere and the experience it brings. Too bad it's a fading memory.


 
Urban *
Sept. 15, 2013 â Jan. 31, 2014
(see urban deer zones)
See Deer Seasons, Licenses & Equipment for deer season bag limits
Youth
Sept. 28 and 29, 2013
Archery
Oct. 1, 2013 â Jan. 5, 2014
Firearms
Nov. 16, 2013 â Dec. 1, 2013
Muzzleloader
Dec. 7, 2013 â Dec. 22, 2013

Deer hunting season in Indiana fires up in November (unless you are bow hunting, which would be pretty awesome).


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## Kristinemomof3

Becka03 said:


> LOL- my friends think I am weird cause I make DH breakfast every morning to take to work and coffee too- and then pack his lunch- we work in the same bldg- so we meet for lunch and I prepare it LOL- and he washes whatever I dirty
> I also pack my boys lunches and make them breakfasts each morning-
> I am not sayin we do not go grab a pizza once in a while- BUT- dinner out is a rare happening- and we normally eat together-
> I love being a 'wife' and would love to be barefoot and preggers LOL- but I am 41... so that ain't happening-
> I have my 25 yr old stepdaughter who just got engaged and hope she has grandbabies for me to play with and teach to bake!!!


My dh is spoiled, I cook him breakfast and pack his lunch every day too. We do go out every once in a while, but not more than 2 times a month. Most of the time my kids think my cooking is better than going out anyway. They are spoiled as well. I just enjoy doing it and am good at it. I need to make some homemade granola, but it's been too hot to run the oven. I have been canning a bunch, none of my friends do that either. Most of them do cook, just not some of the stuff that I cook. We homeschool, so we are around more single income families than most.


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## Pinetop Hunting

Bowhunting is more better than cooking!!! Lol


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## soulsurvivor

I love home cooked southern comfort food and made from scratch, but it's not going to happen often in this house. DH is an insulin dependent diabetic and is in remission with Crohns Disease, which is a severe digestive disorder. His diet is strict and is basically a serving of meat and a vegetable for the main meal of the day. It has to be low fat, no sugar, no salt, and limited on the hot seasonings. 

We also don't eat/drink dairy or grains. Any foods on that list are considered to be luxury once in a blue moon foods here. The only commercially processed food in this house is in the pantry as a 3 month emergency food supply. We don't typically eat it and rotate it out of here after 3 years and replenish with a new supply. So, try cooking creative with these restrictions and I'll hang a blue ribbon on you. 

Fresh only food can be a healthy way to eat but sometimes it's just boring. I've been watching youtube videos (type grocery haul in the search box) of people showing what they've bought at the grocery. That's been an eye opener for me. I never realized that people buy that much and still don't have anything to cook or eat.


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## farmerj

take a look at the baking aisle in the grocery store. I saw a web page once that showed the differences from the 60's to current. Rather eye opening.

It gave a rather nice history.

Basically....

In the 60's, there may have been 5-10 boxes of different cake mixes on the shelf. You added oil, water, eggs and I think flour. The list of ingredients shortened to only water and oil and probably double the amount of boxes on the shelf.

These became the norm for "home-made".....bleech....

Move forward in time, and the list of ingredients only became water. And even more selections. But it wasn't seen as "home-made" because of how short the list of ingredients were. So they had you add the eggs and oil again.

And the types of mixes increased again.....

Wish I could still find the article. Because it's not just that area of the grocery store you can see this trend in. Just an easy one to pick out.

On the flip side....

I got laid off in 2009. Wife moved in with me from 180 miles away. We were both unemployed. We decided to both go back to college. During this time, I got on a rampage about food expenses. I also use quicken to track my money. Uh, eye opening lesson.

We tracked our expenses for about 3 months. Just letting things go. We spent a LOT of money eating out. About $500-550 per month. About $200 for groceries too.

Then we really watched our budget. Limited eating out, made TV dinners to take to school etc. I think we did like $100 per month dining out and about 700 per month for groceries. WTH? We cooked our meals from scratch too. Even going so far as to buying 1/2 beef at a time.

Then we started to watch what it was we were throwing away and what was going on. THERE was the answer. Food waste. We tried to eliminate that as best as we could.



In the end, for the two us, we realized it was cheaper to eat out. We would have food stuff laying around the house and we would graze all the time. We'd be buying fruits/veggies and before we could eat it all, it was spoiling and we'd be tossing it out. One person can only eat so much broccoli or cauliflower at one sitting. We tried buying oranges and apples by singles or smaller bags even.

I have come to realize that pricing for packages of veggies is NOT worth it. American consumers are marketed to buy larger packages than they really need. And it makes it tough. Sometimes we will buy the smaller package with a higher unit price. Because it's not saving money if you are tossing it in the garbage.


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## Horseyrider

My daughter is a 1978 model, and is an outstanding cook. She cooks from scratch whenever her busy schedule allows, and the rest of the time it's still not grocery processed foods. It's more like roast beef from the deli, a good wheat bread, some veg.... She's really gearing up on the canning, can bake the most complex stuff out there (one white chocolate cake with a raspberry filling has the nickname of Heinous Cake because it's so difficult), and gifts her family with wonderful anticipatory aromas through the day. She also spins and knits with incredible skill, and has a great deal of respect for the old time home arts. 

I believe it's not just _what_ you teach them, it's _how_ you teach them. But I would certainly agree with the OP; the respect and regard for the old home arts is falling away for most people. There are those who have never tasted an apple fresh from the tree, put in a pie made with a crust of real butter and lard, still hot from the oven and exploding with flavor. When they taste for the first time, you can see the astonishment on their face and the wonder at how they could've missed this for so long. For the rest of the crowd, how can they miss what they don't know?


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## Becka03

Kristinemomof3 said:


> My dh is spoiled, I cook him breakfast and pack his lunch every day too. We do go out every once in a while, but not more than 2 times a month. Most of the time my kids think my cooking is better than going out anyway. They are spoiled as well. I just enjoy doing it and am good at it. I need to make some homemade granola, but it's been too hot to run the oven. I have been canning a bunch, none of my friends do that either. Most of them do cook, just not some of the stuff that I cook. We homeschool, so we are around more single income families than most.


we are a double income family- but same here- canning- putting up - cooking - heck I married someone I love why wouldn't I spoil him? 
he spoils me- he folds the laundry and vacuums and helps me clean the house- the least I figure I can do - is make sure he has a decent meal 3 times a day- if that is what he wants LOL- I hope the next generation can cook or my 2 sons are gonna be comin to Momma's house LOL


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## soulsurvivor

farmerj said:


> take a look at the baking aisle in the grocery store. I saw a web page once that showed the differences from the 60's to current. Rather eye opening.
> 
> It gave a rather nice history.
> 
> Basically....
> 
> In the 60's, there may have been 5-10 boxes of different cake mixes on the shelf. You added oil, water, eggs and I think flour. The list of ingredients shortened to only water and oil and probably double the amount of boxes on the shelf.
> 
> These became the norm for "home-made".....bleech....
> 
> Move forward in time, and the list of ingredients only became water. And even more selections. But it wasn't seen as "home-made" because of how short the list of ingredients were. So they had you add the eggs and oil again.
> 
> And the types of mixes increased again.....
> 
> Wish I could still find the article. Because it's not just that area of the grocery store you can see this trend in. Just an easy one to pick out.
> 
> On the flip side....
> 
> I got laid off in 2009. Wife moved in with me from 180 miles away. We were both unemployed. We decided to both go back to college. During this time, I got on a rampage about food expenses. I also use quicken to track my money. Uh, eye opening lesson.
> 
> We tracked our expenses for about 3 months. Just letting things go. We spent a LOT of money eating out. About $500-550 per month. About $200 for groceries too.
> 
> Then we really watched our budget. Limited eating out, made TV dinners to take to school etc. I think we did like $100 per month dining out and about 700 per month for groceries. WTH? We cooked our meals from scratch too. Even going so far as to buying 1/2 beef at a time.
> 
> Then we started to watch what it was we were throwing away and what was going on. THERE was the answer. Food waste. We tried to eliminate that as best as we could.
> 
> 
> 
> In the end, for the two us, we realized it was cheaper to eat out. We would have food stuff laying around the house and we would graze all the time. We'd be buying fruits/veggies and before we could eat it all, it was spoiling and we'd be tossing it out. One person can only eat so much broccoli or cauliflower at one sitting. We tried buying oranges and apples by singles or smaller bags even.
> 
> I have come to realize that pricing for packages of veggies is NOT worth it. American consumers are marketed to buy larger packages than they really need. And it makes it tough. Sometimes we will buy the smaller package with a higher unit price. Because it's not saving money if you are tossing it in the garbage.



Not to steal Pinetop Hunting's thread but I think farmerj has made some excellent observations about food consumption. I mean, honestly, how much food do you need on a plate at any one time? I have to wonder if any practice portion control these days. 

I grew up cooking for a big family, work hands, church groups and was used to doing the cooking marathon, but these days it's just me and thee and neither of us eats that much. I don't have a problem doing the cooking for two thing, but try to translate that into a grocery trip that doesn't leave you with lots of extra time dated ingredients that may not keep well. It's why we have the Goldilocks syndrome here with 3 freezers full. I cannot stand to waste food.

So, Pinetop Hunting, that cooking wonder you're searching for may be right under your nose. If she's single, who is she going to cook for? She might be at the all night grocery trying to decide what not to buy.


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## BoldViolet

Born in '82. My mom never really cooked. It was just throw-a-frozen-something-in-the-microwave to feed us.

When I moved out and was poor, I taught myself to cook by necessity - those frozen dinners are pricey! 

Turns out, I love to cook and bake, and am very good at it.


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## ozark_jewels

BoldViolet said:


> I love to cook and bake, and am very good at it.


I was born in '82 also. Mom taught me too cook and by the time I was 12 I was doing a lot of the baking and cooking for the family. I have 7 sisters and we can all bake and cook and we are GOOD at it. I have 4 brothers who can also all cook to varying degrees. I'm very thankful my mother was interested in eating healthy and not eating what was easy. She taught herself the eating healthy part after Dad and she were married. My grandmother wasn't/isn't into eating healthy, but she can still cook.
I love being able to whip up a meal that tastes good, out of basic ingredients, with or without a cookbook.
Now......what I do wish I had was more TIME to enjoy cooking!:teehee:


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## chickenista

I don't think it has anything to do with the 70's or Women's Monement or anything else like that.
After WWII came the frozen TV dinner, then came more women in the workplace because they COULD.
And then came a generation of kids whose moms didn't cook.. because it was 'poor' to cook when you could have the fancy frozen stuff.

And it is more convenient not to cook. A lot of kids were raised by parents who had to both work to afford a place to live and gas and everything else.

But just because a person was raised in a home where cooking didn't happen, does not mean that they cannot cook.
Cooking either happens or it doesn't. Some women just can't cook..even if their grannies tried for years to show them.
And plenty of women who grew up in a house of frozen dinners can cook wonderfully.

It is a matter of desire to want to.
"oh..I can't cook. I never learned how." is a total carp excuse.
It translates to, 'I would rather buy pre-packaged'.
If a woman wants to cook, she can cook. Or she can put forth the effort to learn.
With the advent of Food Network, anyone can cook.


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## Terri

Pinetop Hunting said:


> What's wrong with all the women born since 1970 that I've dated,married or been around that can't cook or take very good care of a home? Is this a lost skill? Did women stop learning how to cook growing up in the 80's and 90's?? I can cook very good but it'd be nice to have a woman that could occasionally cook a meal or feed the kids. Just wondering if cooking is also becoming a lost art.


When I was growing up in the 50's-60's very few women worked and almost all of them could cook. Instead of an income they saved their family money that way. There was little incentive for a woman to work because we were paid less.

Now most women work, and it is HARD! to come home tired and hungry from a day's work and start in cooking. Women who are serious about cooking use a crock pot or set the oven timer, as it is hard to putter in the kitchen when your feet hurt. And, as women now earn almost as much as a man does there is a real incentive to work.

Scratch cooking saves us perhaps $300-$400 a month. When I worked I brought home perhaps $1000 a month. If a woman cannot do both scratch cooking and work, it is more profitable to buy a meal on the way home. 

As a result a lot of people, both men and women, do not cook.


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## CraterCove

I would counter the idea that there is incentive to have two adults in a family work by suggesting this dilutes the amount of money people make individually. It serves corporate interests to have both people working because it doubles the work force, increases the demand for work and decreases the amount companies have to pay and benefits they need to provide--- they can just find someone who will work for less.

I am doing my part to increase the amount you regular working stiffs can make by keeping my considerable skills at home  Besides, with three children and trying to make a go at homesteading, why do I need more than one fulltime job?


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## Laura Zone 5

There is something to be said about preparing a meal.

If you are fortunate enough to be able to grow your own food, gather your own eggs, butcher your own meat, it's even a deeper meaning....

But just being in the kitchen (the hub of the home IMHO) putting a meal together, the aroma's that lead other to a comforting feeling and an anticipation of the actual meal, the gathering together to consume the meal, and then working together to clean it up.....

The whole connectedness, warmth, and togetherness a meal brings.
Even something as simple as 'stone' soup.
ALL of my kids (and myself) made "stone soup" when we were in 4th grade, and all of us vividly remember this exercise.....
And no one remembers what the soup tasted like, just the events leading up to the making, the making, the serving of the soup.

If I could spend my days doing NOTHING but growing, raising, collecting, butchering (hunting), preparing and serving food.......I would die a happy woman.


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## suitcase_sally

I am a product of the 50's. By the 70's, I was a free-wheeling, dedicated bachlorette. I loved living alone. 

Fast forward to the 90's. I had a job that paid very well (6 fiqures) but then got married. The hook was, "We'll split everything down the middle - the bills and the housework! It will be like twice as much money, half as much work!!" Well, the bills got split but I'm still waiting for him to do his half of the housework. My answer? I went on strike. If we are both hungry, I'll fix dinner, but if I'm not hungry, don't expect me to jump up and fix you something. When he asks, "What's for dinner?", my answer? "Whatever you decide to fix!"

I remember in the early days he came into the room and declared, "I don't have any clean underwear!" "Why?" I asked. I was sure he knew where the washer and dryer was.

Another time he came into the kitchen clawing at his face and declared "There's a big cob web in there! "Show me!" I said. When he showed it to me, I asked "Why is it still there?"

It has taken about 20 years, but I'm finally getting him trained. Now he cooks better than I do, most of the time. I just gotta break him of that habit of stirring the pot.


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## Terri

Farmerj, to avoid throwing out half of what I buy I learned more than one recipe for every food. Broccolli, for nstance, can be served raw with dip one day and 2 days later serve it cooked with a cheese sauce. Let another 2 days pass and serve it as leftovers. As long as you change the dish you can have it every other day and people will enjoy it.

This week we are having turkey. I am thinking grilled on the outdoor BBQ the first night, deep fried wings the second night, red meat of some kind the third night for variety, diced up with cream of mushroom soup and noodles and peas for a cassarole the fourth night, and I might freeze the rest for a few days and bring it out the next week. 

As for vegetables, this week I am heavily into cabbage and tomato. I served the cabbage cooked the first night, then slaw, then tomatos last night, and perhaps more slaw today. 

If I bought too many fruits and vegetables I would throw away a lot of them also. There are still three of us but my youngest no longer eats with the appetite of a teenager.


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## CraterCove

I pull out a whole chicken and roast it, we have it fresh that night, maybe for a day or two we have chicken cesar salad and I make broth with the rest and either a soup or casserole using the fresh broth. Waste not! I freeze the veggies in per meal amounts and I try never to waste anything.


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## Laura Zone 5

When I make my dogs treats, I use thigh meat.
When I have pulled all the meat, I save the bones and make stock....
Amen to waste not want not!!


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## Vosey

OP - I think you're hanging around the wrong women! I know many woman in their 20's through 50's who love to cook, are down to earth, not just looking for a man to support them financially. Both Maine and Oregon have lots of them! Not there aren't plenty of other types out there, but different areas of the country attract different types. 

Gardening, cooking, sewing, knitting etc is having a big resurgence in the younger crowd.


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## Pinetop Hunting

Vosey I'm in tennessee!! The land of biscuits n gravy and pies and country cookin and all I can find is women I end up having to cook for and wait on hand and foot and do housework. I want me a woman who can cook,help with house and outdoors activities but more than anything be my friend and companion while doing it. I don't want a slave or to be a slave. I want a life companion!!! They are rare I'm tellin ya!!


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## Grumpy old man

Pinetop Hunting said:


> Vosey I'm in tennessee!! The land of biscuits n gravy and pies and country cookin and all I can find is women I end up having to cook for and wait on hand and foot and do housework. I want me a woman who can cook,help with house and outdoors activities but more than anything be my friend and companion while doing it. I don't want a slave or to be a slave. I want a life companion!!! They are rare I'm tellin ya!!


I also live in Tn and moved here in part to find the type of women you speak of and I did ! Been together for 8 years and never an disagreement that lasted more than 20 minutes ! After living on a beach for 30 years the only hope of finding a REAL women was to move here , And for me it worked ! In Florida all I ever found were the BBD girls (bigger better deal ) They were cute and fun until the next guy who offered a bigger better deal came along and they were gone just as fast as they showed up .There are good women out there maybe you are looking in the wrong place try one of the single farmer dating sites and maybe you will find the right one . never settle for almost what you are looking for you will never be happy and life flies by way to fast to waste time on the wrong person !


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## CraterCove

Might I suggest the LDS church? I know we are still controversial to some people but I don't know many born 'Mormon' women who can't cook-- cleaning? Well sometimes that breaks down after child 5 or 6.


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## Laura Zone 5

Pinetop Hunting said:


> Vosey I'm in tennessee!! The land of biscuits n gravy and pies and country cookin and all I can find is women I end up having to cook for and wait on hand and foot and do housework. I want me a woman who can cook,help with house and outdoors activities but more than anything be my friend and companion while doing it. I don't want a slave or to be a slave. I want a life companion!!! They are rare I'm tellin ya!!


Take out an ad in the paper.
Spell out all the things you are LOOKING for, and then spell out all the things YOU provide (give in return).

Set up an email account just for this ad and see what it brings!!


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## Grumpy old man

farmersonly.com


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## Marilyn

*Laura Zone 5:* Are you coming to the Indiana gathering on the 21st? I think you should invite Pinetop Hunting.


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## backtocolo

my 1992 model daughter who is a fulltime college student who works full time. She had to buy a new crockpot as she was embarrased for anyone to see her stained crockpot (black beans will do that) when she had them over. She cooks large amounts of brown rice and freezes it in her deep freezer for fast meals.

Fast food is homecanned chicken and that she thickens with corn starch to eat over rice. Or homecanned pepper steak or red beans over the rice.

She asks for canned goodies. When I am coming up for a long weekend to visit we try to schedule some time for canning. 

Her biggest complaint about dating. There aren't any guys near her age worth wasting her time on. She wants a partner. She doesn't need someone else to take care of. They need to know how to do the dishes if she is cooking or to take their turn cooking on days when she is gone 17 hours of the day. They also need to not be intidated by the fact that she own and knows how to use two drills, a sander, full tool box etc. Most guys near he age are interested in sex, partying, video games and sports. 

When I met dh his cooking retoire was: scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage, hamburger helper, bean casserole (using canned beans), burgers and manwich. now he does all that but the hamburger helper. He knows how to can but perfers for me to put stews and chili together and he cans it all. He knows how and does can meat on his own. We do lots of batch cooking and canning together.


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## Buckhuntr

I have a deal with my DW - I cook, she cleans up. Works beautifully for both. :thumb:


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## CraterCove

backtocolo said:


> my 1992 model daughter who is a fulltime college student who works full time. She had to buy a new crockpot as she was embarrased for anyone to see her stained crockpot (black beans will do that) when she had them over. She cooks large amounts of brown rice and freezes it in her deep freezer for fast meals.
> 
> Fast food is homecanned chicken and that she thickens with corn starch to eat over rice. Or homecanned pepper steak or red beans over the rice.
> 
> She asks for canned goodies. When I am coming up for a long weekend to visit we try to schedule some time for canning.
> 
> Her biggest complaint about dating. There aren't any guys near her age worth wasting her time on. She wants a partner. She doesn't need someone else to take care of. They need to know how to do the dishes if she is cooking or to take their turn cooking on days when she is gone 17 hours of the day. They also need to not be intidated by the fact that she own and knows how to use two drills, a sander, full tool box etc. Most guys near he age are interested in sex, partying, video games and sports.
> 
> When I met dh his cooking retoire was: scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage, hamburger helper, bean casserole (using canned beans), burgers and manwich. now he does all that but the hamburger helper. He knows how to can but perfers for me to put stews and chili together and he cans it all. He knows how and does can meat on his own. We do lots of batch cooking and canning together.



It is my firm believe and my experience that males are not usually ready for consideration as a mate and partner until around 30. They need time to travel, learn, gain seasoning and settle down. Again, my opinion but even when I was a teen I would not consider dating someone under 30--- it's just a waste of time. Again, my opinion and my experience.


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## thequeensblessing

Becka03 said:


> LOL- my friends think I am weird cause I make DH breakfast every morning to take to work and coffee too- and then pack his lunch- we work in the same bldg- so we meet for lunch and I prepare it LOL- and he washes whatever I dirty
> I also pack my boys lunches and make them breakfasts each morning-
> I am not sayin we do not go grab a pizza once in a while- BUT- dinner out is a rare happening- and we normally eat together-
> I love being a 'wife' and would love to be barefoot and preggers LOL- but I am 41... so that ain't happening-
> I have my 25 yr old stepdaughter who just got engaged and hope she has grandbabies for me to play with and teach to bake!!!


This is so me! I love my role as wife, mother, and grandmother! When I mentioned on another forum that I get up every morning and cook hubby breakfast and pack his lunch for him, I was told that this was just my way of having "control" over my DH. Control??? No, this is my way of expressing my love for him, and my way of being the wife I want to be. He goes out and works hard for me, and I stay home and work hard for him. Making him breakfast and packing his lunch is just one of the way I work hard for him. Nice to see there are other, like-minded wives out there who are "controlling" like me.


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## HOTW

My DD is a 1987 model and she can cook, my other DD I need to workon, she really isn't inspired to try, however she can bake which is a good guide to future cooking IMO. As kids we were allowed to bake from scratch as my Mum hated baking so th ekids did it. All of us can cook and frankly I think my 3 DB are better cooks than their wives!


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## MO_cows

I think the pendulum is swinging back the other way. For a time, cooking was considered lowly work and people with enough money would avoid it by buying convenience food or dining out. 

But there seems to be a growing interest in learning to cook and eating well. Cooking is seen as a skill or even an art form, not so much as lowly work. Two cable channels are devoted to it, plus all the PBS shows, etc. 

I think we have bottomed out on this one and are climbing back.


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## Grumpy old man

I have boots older than many of you , The only way to truly eat well is to grow what suits you and eat at home ,anything else is a failed attempt at home steading .


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## CraterCove

Grumpy old man said:


> I have boots older than many of you , The only way to truly eat well is to grow what suits you and eat at home ,anything else is a failed attempt at home steading .


Not being able to go out and eat or order a pizza when we want one is a true homesteading failure. I'm not looking to just subsist I am looking to thrive and yeah I can make a kickin' pizza but sometimes I want the dude in town to make it for me.


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## backwoods

Laura Zone 5 said:


> IMHO
> 
> Since the 1970's and the Women's Lib Movement, women were trained to rebel against their God-designed calling, and told "she could do it all".
> So cooking was not important anymore.
> That was about the same time men decided that loving, honoring and cherishing the wife of his youth was to burdensome, and when the 'whim' hit him, he just hit the road.
> That pretty much describes things since the 70's
> 
> Yes, cooking is a lost art and that is so unfortunate.
> Our society as a whole loses.
> There is so much more than just 'good tasting food'.....it's the whole experience, and how it unites people on a deeper level.
> Myself, both of my girls, and my son, can cook.....from scratch....delicious and nutritious meals.
> But I spent the time in the kitchen training them, letting them help, taking them to the store, and now growing, canning and dehydrating our own food.
> *I can't wait to find someone who will take me hunting, show me how to field dress, and then show me how to process.....*
> *But there ain't many of those guys left!*




You need to move out away from the cities to find those guys. They are everywhere around here. Many raise & butcher their own pork & beef as well. Now, THAT'S a man!!!


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## backwoods

thequeensblessing said:


> This is so me! I love my role as wife, mother, and grandmother! When I mentioned on another forum that I get up every morning and cook hubby breakfast and pack his lunch for him, I was told that this was just my way of having "control" over my DH. Control??? No, this is my way of expressing my love for him, and my way of being the wife I want to be. He goes out and works hard for me, and I stay home and work hard for him. Making him breakfast and packing his lunch is just one of the way I work hard for him. Nice to see there are other, like-minded wives out there who are "controlling" like me.


Somewhere along the way, youngsters developed the idea that marriage is a competition, not a partnership. I have seen it in my own family. I told my ds & dil that the surest way to divorce is to "keep score" instead of developing a mind-set of "what can I do to make my spouse's life easier/happier today? Anyone that bothered to marry you, can hardly resist reciprocating. If they do resist, and are "takers?" Well, you have a different kind of problem and it probably won't end well.


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## redneckswife

Laura Zone 5 said:


> IMHO
> 
> Since the 1970's and the Women's Lib Movement, women were trained to rebel against their God-designed calling, and told "she could do it all".
> So cooking was not important anymore.
> That was about the same time men decided that loving, honoring and cherishing the wife of his youth was to burdensome, and when the 'whim' hit him, he just hit the road.
> That pretty much describes things since the 70's
> 
> I can't wait to find someone who will take me hunting, show me how to field dress, and then show me how to process.....
> But there ain't many of those guys left!


I didn't like cooking and wasn't good at it, I thought why bother, mom's great at it(still isn't my favorite thing to do) but I'm really good at it now.Especially making a large meal out of basic or odd ingredients. What changed? Well I had 7 kids and I didn't have the luxury of affording to go out every meal(nor the location, I live in the sticks). Let me tell you, if something tastes bad-I've got a table of at least 8(sometimes more, they bring more back with them when their grown) who will question and criticize it:smack. So out of necessity(who else was gonna cook for my kids) I learned.

I was born in 74, hubby in 79. And I believe he is the exception to the rule.He is genuinely one of the best human beings I know who always follows his morals, not the crowds.All you have to do is ask anyone whose ever known him and they'll tell you he's a goodman. However, I got smart, great morals was 1st on the list when looking for a mate.

Dad used to take me hunting, but wouldn't let me "process" the animal or do anything on my own. So dear hubby showed me.I believe mutal respect and the most important thing in a partner are their morals. 

Your right those guys are scarce and I have gratitude for being blessed with a great man.:goodjob:


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## Peepsqueak

I like to cook because I like to know where my food is from. Culturally and personally I have great pride in feeding my lived ones, including animals. 
My dilemma was being a working outside if the home woman. Cooking us a time consuming task and also requires planning. Lots if things had to be instant. I have to buy precut veggies, seasoned meats, etc.
I do this task with love though. 


Sent from my iPhone using Homesteading Today


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## rkintn

Pinetop Hunting said:


> Vosey I'm in tennessee!! The land of biscuits n gravy and pies and country cookin and all I can find is women I end up having to cook for and wait on hand and foot and do housework. I want me a woman who can cook,help with house and outdoors activities but more than anything be my friend and companion while doing it. I don't want a slave or to be a slave. I want a life companion!!! They are rare I'm tellin ya!!



Obviously, you aren't looking in the right spots


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## snoozy

I know how to cook _because_ I was a latchkey kid: My mother would leave written instructions and I would put together whatever was necessary to be done before she got home at 6. I like to cook! I like to eat! seems a no brainer to me to do the first so you can do the second...


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## hmsteader71

I've been married this time for almost 15 years (next month). Unless I'm so sick I can't get out of bed I have fixed dh's breakfast & lunch every day, even weekends unless I go and eat lunch with him & then I take it for us.
My last marriage I did the same thing and was never shown any appreciation for it. The last meal I fixed for him was a breakfast meal-pancakes, eggs, sausage-and he came in and said, "What's for supper? What your mom's having smells better than that." Needless to say his plate that had been fixed for him soon was scraped into the trash, by me! 
When I married the first time (this is my 3rd) I was 18 years old, had never shown an interest in learning how to cook, and by the time we divorced when I was 20 I still didn't know how to cook.
During that 2nd marriage I had to learn and was somewhat good by the time of the divorce. It's been during this marriage that I really started yearning to learn the old ways. We decided to home school the kids and for me to quit my job at the hospital and so it was necessary to learn as much as possible because we were going to one income.
Now I cook, bake and make some mixes all from scratch. I do my best to keep our expenses down for groceries and watch and shop the sales. I just got our first deer from the processor (we don't hunt) and it went in the freezer Friday. I am thankful for people who hunt who leave the deer for others who don't. Next spring I will be buying several home butchered chickens from our Amish friends and we already get fresh eggs from a lady at my dad's church.
My step-son who is 17 has no interest in learning to cook. My son who is 19 has been cooking since he was about 11 and is sometimes a better cook than I am. My daughter who is 23 didn't know how to cook when they got married but finances and getting sick of eating the same things has taught her a lot. She now plans their menu for the month, shops once a month, is a frugalista-lol- and is really good with a budget. I don't think she does all scratch cooking but to me it's a great start that she can fix home cooked meals at all.


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## Evons hubby

Pinetop Hunting said:


> Vosey I'm in tennessee!! The land of biscuits n gravy and pies and country cookin and all I can find is women I end up having to cook for and wait on hand and foot and do housework. I want me a woman who can cook,help with house and outdoors activities but more than anything be my friend and companion while doing it. I don't want a slave or to be a slave. I want a life companion!!! They are rare I'm tellin ya!!


Yer obviously shoppin in the wrong stores. Try the sewing factories... those gals not only know how to cook, they will take care of all them other needs you seem to have if you show them just the slightest amount of appreciation, they like that, usually havent seen much of it their whole lives.


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## IndyGardenGal

What my mom couldn't teach me cooking, I've taught myself.I was born in the 80s. I enjoy cooking and baking, and my mom is impressed with how I've gone beyond what she can do and learned more. It doesn't require anything more than the drive, time, and will to learn.


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## Calico Katie

I remember one of the first meals I made for my stepkids. When teenage stepdaughter took a bite of her mashed potatoes, she lowered her fork and actually gasped in surprise. "Are these real potatoes?" she asked. I'm so proud of that kid. Today she has three nearly grown kids of her own and cooks from scratch.


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## Evons hubby

chickenista said:


> Some women just can't cook..even if their grannies tried for years to show them.


I had a sisterinlaw like that years ago... poor girl was the only person I ever knew that could scorch instant coffee!


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## The_rpp

My wife cannot cook very well and I enjoy cooking. She does try, but she does not feel that she evr gets it quite right. She is a stay-at-home wife and mother and not being able to cook is a sore spot for her as she would love to be able to cook for me. I would still love her whether she can cook or not. She is actually a better cook than she thinks she is. Which is, I think, the actual source of her cooking woes.


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## arcountryboy

My wife was born in 86. If it's not in a box, she can't cook it. In her defense, her dad was killed in a car wreck when she was 9 so her mom worked all day and did not feel like cooking home cooked meals, plus she is from the city. Me, I was born in 80 and grew up in a house with my Mom, Dad, and Grandmother. From the time I was old enough to tell a weed from a plant I worked in the garden, helped can, and was always watching or helping cook. On the bright side, I love to cook and hate to wash dishes, so I cook, she cleans.


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## redneckswife

arcountryboy, sounds like you guys have a great arrangement and something that works for the 2 of you. We like to think of our marriage as a team or partnership, and if either of us can do it, no matter which one-then yes our team can,lol and that's all the matters, is that between the 2 of us, we can accomplish what needs to be done:clap:.

I think it helps that we have also became more than soulmates, lovers & martial couple-we are absolutely best friends


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## redneckswife

Yvonne's hubby said:


> I had a sisterinlaw like that years ago... poor girl was the only person I ever knew that could scorch instant coffee!


I have 2 grown daughters, both were exposed to me, my mother and my grandma cooking growing up...oldest daughter can only make coffee(she has burnt hotdogs boiling them-never thought that was possible),lol and the 2nd is a whiz in the kitchen:duel:


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## snoozy

I made a 4lb boneless lamb roast on Sunday. Monday we had lamb & lima pies. Tuesday we had Greek lamb sauce on spaghetti. Wednesday we had leftovers of that. So that was 11 servings so far. I'm thinking that I'll put the remaining 8oz of lamb in the freezer for a rainy day. (Yes, I know, it's always raining in the Pac NW...)

My exH on the other hand, would have gotten a mere 4 servings out of that roast. I have frequently told him, "You don't know how to be poor, but you sure know how to impoverish yourself."


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