# Do you think your doomed & will never find a soul mate??



## barnyardgal

I am not saying having a negative mind about it...just that it is hard to find any one both male/female who likes living this lifestyle & who is willing to give their all like you do??

I have met a few guys in the past & they think i am crazy for choosing this lifestyle....they feel intimidated to cause i can do/know more than they do..they are not interested so guess they have no desire to learn...

With going through the house fire in Dec. it sure would be nice to have an extra 'mind'/thoughts in the way things are getting done and or making decisions in rebuilding/how to do things...

Just my 2 cents worth~~

Hope everyone is keeping warm...i feel blessed today as no water lines are frozen & got down to 0* last night minus 22 wind chill...sure am looking forward to spring this year!!!


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## Twp.Tom

Hello Barnyardgal*, I am glad to see you posting, considering the unfortunate fire you had. I hope that you get things back in order this year, and you are Blessed with some "Good Luck"* I figure, if I leave the door open, someone may come through. Our lives are unpredictable, anything can happen. I try to be optimistic about the future-so yes, I believe it is possible. If someone knows more, and can do more than me, I just get out of the way, and assist them however I may-and try to help-what a great opportunity to learn*. I hope that Great Things, are just around the bend for you* Best Wishes- Tom


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## Guest

Everybody has the capacity to be isolated, or be in a relationship. I see lot of stated reasons, and only a tiny few will state what I'd think the main cause of "never finding a soulmate" 
A lot of people are just so afraid of getting hurt they'd rather be alone. They don't necessarily *want* to be alone, it's just less painful than getting run over by that train again. 

It's all inside the individual. People build walls around themselves in order to blame fate. People tear down those walls when solitude is too much. Sometimes, it's just never too much. And sometimes, the damage has been done. I spent so much quality time alone that occasionally I'll still talk to myself. Without give and take, we'd end up looking for a carbon copy of ourselves. IF we were to find that carbon copy, we'd run away in terror. At least, I would have.


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## nehimama

Yes, I used to feel "doomed", but no longer look at it that way. I'm okay with it. It just isn't going to happen, and I'm fine by myself. I have no words of wisdom, though.


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## roadless

I use to believe my ex was my soul mate, now I am not sure of the term.

I do think I will find someone to share myself with, and have all those wonderful connections that I miss.


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## Terri in WV

No, I don't think that I'm doomed, nor do I feel like I'll find a soul mate. 

I think, to use the term soul mate, puts unrealistic expectations on the potential partner and creates an idealistic view of a relationship. I believe there are many matches for anyone, BUT they have to choose to be happy with the other person.

As far as living this lifestyle, there are plenty of single folks here doing exactly that. The one recurring theme, that I see, is that no one is willing to leave their land for a relationship. 

I understand that. Everyone has put their blood, sweat and tears into building their dream. To find a partner that wants to live the same lifestyle, wouldn't it be safe to assume that they have done the same? 

So...It seems that one would have to:

A) Be willing to relocate for companionship.

B) Accept the fact that another person doesn't have quite the same expectations and embrace their differences and blend their styles.

C) Continue to live alone and bemoan the fact that they will never find someone that wants the same as them.

ETA: D) Find someone in their area and each maintain their own places and spend time at each.


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## Classof66

It is hard when the partner dies too. I got really hurt the first time, by my ex. I met my S/O and my life was turned around. Not always perfect, but good. And I lost him. I know I did everything I could, he was sick. He died in my arms. We never really had a bad fight or said things one would regret later. I am lonely but I just don't know what I want. I still love #2 and its like if its not broke don't fix it. Its been 3 years. I can't even think of anyone I'd be interested in.


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## doingitmyself

I used to feel why bother with all this just for myself. I really did not expect to meet someone that "really got me", you know what I mean?? I never felt doomed though. 

However, I very recently (as in last week) have met a very like minded lady and we are both (yes, I am being presumptuous, but it's my story so let me tell it, LOLOL) seriously enjoying all the little things that go with getting to know someone. 

It can happen, but sometimes you have to be careful what you wish for because it may fall in your lap and then what are you really going to do?

I ask this question because it will likely have to be a serious change in scenery for one of you. Folks like us are not living in clusters, we are sparse in numbers and location. If it happens to you would you honestly pull up stakes and move to be with the right one? Or must the right one be 5 miles down the road from you and must they be able to dump their place to be with you?? When you put restrictions on the path the bumps get bigger. Just saying..... if your open, and serious about it, the right one may be in front of you. I didn't know it and she was there all the time!!!


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## oneraddad

I raised 3 kids on my own and didn't have time for a relationship.

After 30 years of doing it solely my way, I'm not willing to compromise. Besides I'm an ------- and the young women I'm attracted to are way out of my league.


[YOUTUBE]7NJqUN9TClM[/YOUTUBE]


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## Ramblin Wreck

But for God's grace, I would feel doomed, because I'm as worthless as they come. But as it is, I feel very blessed and content. Like Roadless, I'm not so sure about soul mates and what all that means. I do know the closer you let people in, the more they can hurt you, which is a good part of what Zong was saying.

Glad you are rebuilding, and that your pipes didn't freeze. Stay warm and dry today.


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## L.A.

No, I don't believe in Soul mates ,,,

I even wonder if Sharing is ever equal,,,


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## Terri in WV

According to my kids, sharing is never equal! ound:


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## L.A.

Terri in WV said:


> According to my kids, sharing is never equal! ound:


Get it from Mom,.uh,,,

:nana:,,,


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## RubyRed

When I look towards the future, I see my family, my hard work, (hopefully paying off) my animals and me. I often wonder why I don't see an SO, or a partner there. 

Perhaps, I have built such a wall up, lined with razor wire that no one would ever attempt to cross it. Safe that way. But then again, I wonder if the right one would come along, would the walls come crashing down? Sigh. 

I try to stay open to the notion of someone coming along, live happily ever after, kinda stuff. But just incase he doesn't, I have plenty to keep me fulfilled, for now. 

If I were to settle, that is not a problem. I hunt, fish, trap, do all the homesteady stuff, it is very easy to converse with the opposite sex. I play in their world, and have worked professionally in their world as well. I do find, that there are men that think I am "perfect" for them, what they don't ask, is, are they perfect for me? Maybe that doesn't matter....the narcissism I have seen blows my mind. 

Seems that men, (most of my experience) is that they want to control a strong woman. The fire in me attracts them, but for some reason, they want to change that after they have me. What's up with that?


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## woodenfires

Sometimes its just a state of mind, can see it sometimes then you can't, reminded me of this poem. Anyone who hasn't ever felt like this?

I know this isn't the poetry thread but I don't think anything will blow up if I put them here. 


Ashes Of Love
Edna ST Vincent Millay

Love has gone and left me and the days are all alike;
Eat I must, and sleep I will,âand would that night were
here!
But ah!âto lie awake and hear the slow hours strike!
Would that it were day again!âwith twilight near!
Love has gone and left me and I don't know what to do;
This or that or what you will is all the same to me;
But all the things that I begin I leave before I'm through,â
There's little use in anything as far as I can see.
Love has gone and left me,âand the neighbors knock and
borrow,
And life goes on forever like the gnawing of a mouse,â
And to-morrow and to-morrow and to-morrow and to-morrow
There's this little street and this little house.


Sometimes I see things differently and treat everyday as the mystery it is. A line from the "course in miracles", says, "all pain comes simply from a futile search for what you want, insisting where it must be found". I usually can't even find my socks. 
Sorry about the "crowd of sorrows" that have swept through your house Barnyardgirl. Somehow, someway, the scales will balance, as Rumi say's, " some new delight", you are in a different place than you were in December for a reason, lessons come in strange and painful ways sometimes, reasons are only learned later, i'm sure you know all that. Nothing worse than a fire, takes a long time just to get used to that, going through it alone and still standing says a lot of great things about your character, good things will come your way, I'm never wrong about such things. ......best of luck. 


*[SIZE=-1]THE GUEST HOUSE[/SIZE]* 
*[SIZE=-1]This being human is a guest house.[/SIZE]* 
*[SIZE=-1]Every morning a new arrival.[/SIZE]* 
*[SIZE=-1]A joy, a depression, a meanness,[/SIZE]* 
*[SIZE=-1]some momentary awareness comes[/SIZE]* 
*[SIZE=-1]as an unexpected visitor.[/SIZE]* 
*[SIZE=-1]Welcome and entertain them all![/SIZE]* 
*[SIZE=-1]Even if theyâre a crowd of sorrows,[/SIZE]* 
*[SIZE=-1]who violently sweep your house[/SIZE]* 
*[SIZE=-1]empty of its furniture,[/SIZE]* 
*[SIZE=-1]still, treat each guest honorably.[/SIZE]* *[SIZE=-1]He may be clearing you out[/SIZE]* 
*[SIZE=-1]for some new delight.[/SIZE]* 

*[SIZE=-1]The dark thought, the shame, the malice,[/SIZE]* 
*[SIZE=-1]meet them at the door laughing,[/SIZE]* *[SIZE=-1]and invite them in.[/SIZE]* 

*[SIZE=-1]Be grateful for whatever comes,[/SIZE]* 
*[SIZE=-1]because each has been sent[/SIZE]* 
*[SIZE=-1]as a guide from beyond. RUMI
[/SIZE]* *[SIZE=-1]
[/SIZE]*


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## calliemoonbeam

Barnyardgal, good to see you and glad you're rebuilding! I'm sorry you're going through so much right now, but maybe that's why you're so down. I can certainly understand the wishing for someone to talk things over with and make plans with. I think all of us singles feel that way from time to time and, like Zong, I tend to talk to myself a lot...I spend so much time alone that sometimes it's nice just to hear my own voice. Of course maybe I'm just crazy, lol! 

But I definitely don't feel doomed and wouldn't even if I never had a man in my life again. I love my life and, while a man in it would make it good in a whole new way, I'm not going to suffer, be sad or feel sorry for myself if that never happens for me again.

I feel like I've been really blessed in my life. I think there is more than one soul mate for a person, and I've had two of them. Some people never get that even once, so I know how lucky I've been. The one I consider my truest soul mate in every way is still wandering around out there somewhere, and I'm hopeful enough (or maybe foolish, lol) to think we might be together again some day. Some of the old-timers here have heard the story.

But even if that never happens, I think it's very possible I could meet someone else. You can love someone and be very happy with them, even if they aren't your soul mate, and I'm totally open to that. I've had my heart broken, but if I close off enough of me to keep from being hurt, I feel like I also close off the part of me that could love deeply and be happy, and I'm just not willing to do that. 

Love is a risk, sure, but so is life and I don't just quit living because I've been hurt. Who posted that video, "I Get Knocked Down, But I Get Up Again"? That's the way I look at it, if you get knocked off the horse, are you going to stay down and never ride again? Nope, you get up, brush yourself off and get right back up there!

DIM, as to your question about moving...maybe you haven't been here long enough, but that question comes up on a recurring basis, lol. I think so far I'm the only one, man or woman, here on ST who has said without hesitation that YES I'd move in a New York minute for the right person!  I have my own paid for place, and I've been working on developing it for the last seven years, but I'd give it up and start over from scratch if that's what it took (and it's not just because I hate Oklahoma, lol!). 

I've started over several times in my life for much less reasons than love (bad divorce, illness, etc.), and what better reason could there be?? But I've always been the adventurous type. I once sold everything I owned that wouldn't fit into a Camaro and moved three states away without a job waiting or a place to live!


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## Jim-mi

Not sure the word "doomed" is proper.
After being single for so long it is what it is. Love my little chunk of land in a very beautiful area. . . .Which also works against meeting prospective mates cause of very limited travels . . .
The door is not locked . . . .
But the door bell sure hasn't rung in a very long time............


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## SimplerTimez

calliemoonbeam said:


> <snip>
> DIM, as to your question about moving...maybe you haven't been here long enough, but that question comes up on a recurring basis, lol. I think so far I'm the only one, man or woman, here on ST who has said without hesitation that YES I'd move in a New York minute for the right person!  <snip>


Nope, you're not the only one that said that Callie  Mine might be more like in a South Georgia minute though...


To the OP - I think we all get a little cynical feeling from time to time, particularly when we're going through a hardship alone. Certain times it really hits me, being alone. It usually passes fairly quickly.

But I never have believed in _finding_ a soul mate - I do believe that you can _become_ one for the person that you love, over time. Terri expressed a great deal of similarity with how I feel - so for once, I'll keep a post short (lol!)

Best wishes Barnyardgal - you've endured a lot, but there is surely more joy than pain in this world, even when we can only imagine it, or remember it.


((hugs))
~ST


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## bajiay

I want to find someone. I feel that I have a lot to give the right man and that I am capable of being a great partner. I may have found him...I'm not sure yet. If not, I'll keep looking. And I'm not settling either...


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## oneraddad

I could take a soul partner for a couple hours a week


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## WhyNot

I have found soulmates. Four times.

To think there is only one for each person in their lifetime doesn't add up to me. There's an awful lot of people in the world to think that only one match per person is available, statistically it's just not sound. I happen to believe we are a soul with a body not a body searching for a soul. But I don't feel any "doom" about it. Sure, some days it sucks, especially when you could use a good strong and present shoulder to cry on and big strong arms to squeeze you. But all in all I'm pretty flippin' happy about everything.

Often I say I believe I was meant to be alone and I get a lot of crud from saying that. I truly believe that but probably not the way people think.

Would I love one person to spend the rest of my life with? Absolutely. However, looking back on things, the type of person I am and the things that go on as the larger patterns in my life, it really would not surprise me if I don't ever find that one long lasting thing. The real crapper is I already know I'd be fabulous at it. I think that bothers me more than anything. I've got a whole lot here that is ready...and for no one to experience it or share that with...downright sucks.

I've really not been focusing on the homestead lifestyle part being an issue...because I think that if I find the right one, it's not going to be an issue.

Believe it or not I'm pretty personable and very charming to those I chime with...but never quite get there. If I ever do....better hold on though!


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## TxGypsy

RubyRed said:


> Seems that men, (most of my experience) is that they want to control a strong woman. The fire in me attracts them, but for some reason, they want to change that after they have me. What's up with that?


Oh my yes. This definitely strikes a chord! 

For a while I was down and pretty blue, but I've never been a quitter. Things are rather looking up at the moment :bouncy:


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## Shrek

after my ex left because she didn't like the isolation and lifestyle for her, it took me a few years to figure out the best of both worlds works best for gf and I.

She like living in town and occasionally getting out to the sticks and I enjoy spending a little time in town.

Both of us enjoy our time without the other under foot 24/7.

Two house and a campground and choice of if we want to enjoy the laid back quiet of the country, lights of town or the 60 mile trip to the big city for some culture exposure. The options available to us make life priceless.


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## FarmboyBill

yes, Im likeky domed, but thats OK as im pretty familiar with the guy who doomed me.

I like to think that when I get moved up north that ill look around again, as if I found someone there, she wouldnt be far from her family nor me mine, which would be one less bone of contention between us.


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## davel745

*Do you think your doomed & will never find a soul mate??* 

Yes


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## nehimama

davel745 said:


> *Do you think your doomed & will never find a soul mate??*
> 
> Yes


Awww! You're not doomed; just down & out for the moment. Hang in there!


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## davel745

some good happened my Ginger (a dog) had babies and my friend went to work and found all 9 new homes. but alas I don't feel like I will meet someone whom we both are interested


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## barnyardgal

I like everyone's response for different reasons..guess 'doomed' wasn't the proper word to use-maybe......

It just seems at times it would be nice to have someone to 'share' things with-like a relationship like Shrek has-each has their own property/space......but can still spend time/ideas together......... a relationship like that is hard to find especially one who lives close by like within 50 miles maybe...i don't have time for travels with animals & especially having a full plate like i have now.......anyone that lives on a farm with animals know you are pretty much tired down twice a day anyways for feeding etc...not counting other things that need to be done with gardening/canning/fence fixing/ etc..etc.-you get the idea~~it would be hard to give up my place i have worked so hard on to get the way i wanted & i know it would be hard for a guy-if i found one- to give up his place to come here-so guess that's why i said 'doomed'~~

This is one reason i love HT~!! like minded folks sharing 'single living ideas'......i can come here & ask questions & usually get answers......

Sometimes needing an extra set of hands come in handy-that's where the mate would come in handy....i do have a couple of married friends & borrow the husband occasionally-of course i have to pay them for their work-but i know their work is done right & they never over charge & happy with what i pay them as they are retired & don't mind helping me & sometimes i like their ideas better than my own.....i ALWAYS ask their opinion first on job i have them helping me do...

Here is the progress so far on the house-hope the pics come though....Thanks for everyone opinions/thoughts~~


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## TxGypsy

I often thought that my ex and I could get along ok if we had separate houses. Looking back now I'm not so sure that would have worked as I don't think he would have tolerated that. I guess with some people that would be a great way to be. 

I appreciate and enjoy having my own space, but I really miss having someone around. I miss having someone to do nice things for. Someone to run ideas by and share little daily things with. I miss spooning! :grin:


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## Ramblin Wreck

TxMex said:


> I often thought that my ex and I could get along ok if we had separate houses....I appreciate and enjoy having my own space, but I really miss having someone around. I miss having someone to do nice things for. Someone to run ideas by and share little daily things with. I miss spooning! :grin:


Went to an estate auction near Collinsville, Alabama once, and the husband (who had died) and wife had built separate living quarters connected by a porch. They had a little lake out back for strolls, and a common basement with a wood fired furnace that heated both living quarters. Not sure it's my cup of tea, but it was a neat set up that worked well for them. (As an aside, he was an interesting character, having been a body guard for Walter Chrysler at one point. He also made his own usable cannon, which was one of the items up for auction.)


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## farmerj

I s popped looking and she showed up one day


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## Jim-mi

There is a "couple" people I wouldn't mind meeting . . .But driving 1000 miles (Or much more) takes some serious thinking . . . .
LOL . . . That 1000 mile drive home . . .kicking myself for "why did I bother" . . LOL

So. . .it is what it is . . . . . .like it or not.
Always look on the positive side...........


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## doingitmyself

^^^^ so split the difference and meet halfway^^^^:shrug:


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## oneraddad

doingitmyself said:


> ^^^^ so split the difference and meet halfway^^^^:shrug:



At motel 6 ?


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## doingitmyself

I suppose that could work for some. Personally i have met folks at a state park and camped for the weekend, they (her and her friend) stopped by in the afternoon, stayed for supper and went back home before nightfall. It was a nice casual meeting and besides, I was there to do some gold panning so i doubled my fun and even found a few bits of color in the local creek!!!:hobbyhors

Point is sometimes we have to be creative to make these long distance things work out. It's too much work for some, i get that. I feel I work so hard at everything else in my life why wouldn't i work as hard at something so important as meeting the right one.:shrug:

I worked half my life and nearly killed myself working for the wrong one!! The right one is worth at least as much and honestly should be worth more than the wrong one! Am i right? Or what??:lookout:


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## bajiay

Jim-mi-but they could be everything you are hoping for as well....


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## Jim-mi

Absolutely . . . . Then it would be fretting over the lose ends back home . . . .

Life is a gamble . . . .lol


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## bajiay

Yes it is....


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## FarmboyBill

Life is a grumble?? Ill agree with that LOL


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## Fair Light

I don't feel like I am "doomed"...or "destined" for anything...that would mean that I have no "say so" as to how my life unfolds....the truth is we all have a "say so" in how we live our lives...we make choices and those choices put us in contact with a lot of people or no people at all...that is up to us...I hardly think a perfect match will come knocking at our door....possible but not likely anyway....About a year ago I met someone that I thought might be a good match... but after spending a little time with him I realized that we aren't a good match at all...no harm done...it was a good experience..he is a wonderful guy...and he will make some woman a really good husband...but I am NOT that woman......we have since gone seperate ways with no ill feelings...but what I learned in the process is that "I" am the one that doesn't really want a relationship after all....the idea of having that special someone in my life sounded great...but when it got right down to it...I learned that I love the life I have at the moment and I really don't want to change it....I have gotten so accustomed to the single life that I have created that I really don't want to have to let it go....I would like to have single friends that I can go places with and enjoy some good times with...but the contraints of a committed relationship smothers me....maybe I am far too independent...I think the most I am capable of is a friendship....but we are not destined or doomed for anything....if you want to find someone to enjoy a committed relationship with you will have to put yourself in places where like minded folks are....as you never know when or how or where your special person will be...


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## Laura

I think IF we want to find someone who loves the same life we do, then we need to not let those who don't get it and would call us Crazy distract us and block the view of other folks like us. Soulmate? Whatever. Will I find partnership, compatibility, trust, respect, lover and friend? Yes.

I can't get my brain around long distance or internet "relationships." Life is complicated enough right here without adding newfangled demented gadgetry to the mix.


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## Hornacopia

Viewing being alone as "doomed" assumes a solitary lifestyle is a negative. I would rather live in solitude than in a miserable relationship. Being alone is less stressful than being in a bad relationship.

That said, I continue to be somewhat hopeful that I will meet someone to share my life, but it seems more and more difficult as the years go by. I become more set in my ways, and I am definitely tied to my homestead. Is it fair to expect that a woman will move to my place? Many women my age that I meet have their own homes that they don't want' to let go of, either. What I need to find is a Texas gal with property so we can winter there and summer in the PNW!

I have a neighbor who is retired. He and his significant other were both married previously. They each have their own place, and they spend time at each. They are together most of the time, but sometimes one is at one home, and the other at theirs. Their finances are separate. They are very happy together, enjoy mutual activities but also have their individual interests. In some ways, I think they have a perfect relationship for an older couple that is beyond having kids. Seems uncomplicated, but supportive.

I keep looking, hoping. But, I live a great life, enjoy work, and have wonderful friends -- a partner would be nice, but is not necessary to have a fulfilling life.

Horn


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## cindilu

I think I am going to go out on a date this coming weekend. He knows that I am moving but he lives here in my current local town. We have talked almost non stop since last night. It seems we know a lot of the same people and our kids know each other as both go to the same school. Who knows what will happen but at least I have made a new friend.


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## foaly

I would make a fabulous mate for some lucky guy. However, my reality is I have two sons I am raising by myself. I'd never ask a man to step into the role of raising someone else's children, which is a good thing because they aren't exactly lined up at the door.


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## cindilu

Hornacopia said:


> Viewing being alone as "doomed" assumes a solitary lifestyle is a negative. I would rather live in solitude than in a miserable relationship. Being alone is less stressful than being in a bad relationship.
> 
> That said, I continue to be somewhat hopeful that I will meet someone to share my life, but it seems more and more difficult as the years go by. I become more set in my ways, and I am definitely tied to my homestead. Is it fair to expect that a woman will move to my place? Many women my age that I meet have their own homes that they don't want' to let go of, either. What I need to find is a Texas gal with property so we can winter there and summer in the PNW!
> 
> I have a neighbor who is retired. He and his significant other were both married previously. They each have their own place, and they spend time at each. They are together most of the time, but sometimes one is at one home, and the other at theirs. Their finances are separate. They are very happy together, enjoy mutual activities but also have their individual interests. In some ways, I think they have a perfect relationship for an older couple that is beyond having kids. Seems uncomplicated, but supportive.
> 
> I keep looking, hoping. But, I live a great life, enjoy work, and have wonderful friends -- a partner would be nice, but is not necessary to have a fulfilling life.
> 
> Horn


Howdy from another PNW peep. We sure do have a bunch of us on here.


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## COSunflower

Me and my BF both have our seperate places - a house away from each other. It works perfect for us.  We both like our privacy and independence. We visit back and forth - he is HERE the most and if we are at our seperate homes and get lonesome - we are just a phone call away!  I have grandkids here alot and he adores them all but lets face it, if you aren't used to kids being around all the time it CAN get to be too much. He is free to go home when the cuteness wears off.  He is an EARLY riser and has usually been up, had breakfast, and done all of his errands by time I get up around 8am on Saturdays! I guess we are like Shrek and his GF - It works for US!!!


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## Laura Zone 5

Doomed that I will never find a soul mate?

Have you ever bought a jigsaw puzzle at a garage sale, or good will, only to find out that it has this extra piece?
The print on the piece is beautiful, and you're confident whatever puzzle that piece goes to, it must be an interesting picture when completed. 
BUT since you don't have that puzzle, and it would be too much work to hunt down the puzzle that's missing a piece you just throw it away.

Some people are boarder pieces. Their perfect match is pretty easy to find.
Some people are middle pieces, where they are more unique and it requires more effort to find their match.
Some people are the beautiful extra piece that just doesn't belong in the box.

I may not be the sharpest crayon in the box, but ---- it, I still got color!!


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## FarmboyBill

Your last sentence LAura, Brilliant


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## FarmboyBill

Just dont be blue lol


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## frogmammy

You wouldn't like Springbok puzzles much then, Laura.

Mon


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## Laura Zone 5

I don't even know what that is?


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## L.A.

Hmmm,,,Color my world,,,gotta Love Maj7 chords,,,,


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## frogmammy

Laura Zone 5 said:


> I don't even know what that is?


Jigsaw puzzle maker that ALWAYS included extra pieces, just had to figure out how many! They're the "Cadillac" of jigsaws.

Mon


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## SimplerTimez

Before I signed in and read zong's inspiring post, this was what I had written. I hope no one finds it a downer, because it isn't meant to be - it is a serious inquiry and a sharing of my thoughts this evening.

****************************

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJmaKin7AIA"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJmaKin7AIA[/ame]

This was playing and dancing its way through the sliders after yet another twelve hour work day (so many since this summer that I can hardly count them any more) ,and I stretched out my legs and tilted my head back in my patio chair to see if I could find the Big Dipper in the sky, while the sea breeze blew gently around, and in my head I was musing on this thread.

I wondered when it all became so complicated, interactions between men and women â even the seeming inability to just plainly say âHey, I like what I see of you and Iâd like to get to know you better.â Women feel awkward making the first move to indicate interest, men prevaricate and decide a dog and fire rings are less complicated and off-putting than reaching out to someone, and everyone dances around the possibility of getting hurt. How did it become this difficult? Is it we ourselves? Or is it something else â distance, jobs, health issues or familial obligations?

Instead we come here, tell stories, and share the love dying to jump out through poetry, songs, photos, jokes. Sometimes we just have fun playing silly word games and goofing off. Weâre all brave and say we accept where we are, weâre just fine without a partner, and everyone agrees being partnerless is better than being in a bad relationship.

Yet at times the loneliness is so heavy here underneath our quick and witty repartee, winding in and out between the lyrics of favorite songs, winking between coy references to intimacy and looking over the shoulder of well placed innuendos, and I just canât help but think something has gone terribly awry between men and women. 

Anyway, thatâs how my mind wanders on a Wednesday night when Iâm tired and in desperate need of my upcoming vacation in T minus 11 days :sing:

I donât have an answer, but there has to be one. Any one care to try to shine light on the subject? Or is it just too heavy and we should all go play quarters and songs and congratulate zong on his wonderful marriage 

~ST (pensively curious)


----------



## Twp.Tom

Wow ST, I can relate to your post* Thank You*


----------



## FarmboyBill

Z Get married. Now I know he wouldn't think of me after a week if I croaked. Got plenty of better things to think about. lol

Good luck Bud. Best wishes to ya both.


----------



## bajiay

Congrats Zong!
I have a dress and red cowboy boots! Anyone else want to get hitched?!?


----------



## Laura Zone 5

bajiay said:


> Congrats Zong!
> I have a dress and red cowboy boots! Anyone else want to get hitched?!?


YOU are awesome!! That is the best thing I have read in days!!!!


----------



## bajiay

HAHA!! 
I'm trying here! 

(I really do have an unworn dress and red boots!)
I'm bored...gotta have some fun!


----------



## Jim-mi

Hows about sattidy night . . . .


----------



## bajiay

You gotta show me a pic of your tractor first!


----------



## davel745

bajiay said:


> Congrats Zong!
> I have a dress and red cowboy boots! Anyone else want to get hitched?!?


me !!!


----------



## davel745

here is my tractor Bajia


----------



## davel745

I am sorry Bajia I couldn't resist. but I got a nice tractor


----------



## Laura Zone 5

SimplerTimez said:


> Before I signed in and read zong's inspiring post, this was what I had written. I hope no one finds it a downer, because it isn't meant to be - it is a serious inquiry and a sharing of my thoughts this evening.
> 
> ****************************
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJmaKin7AIA
> 
> This was playing and dancing its way through the sliders after yet another twelve hour work day (so many since this summer that I can hardly count them any more) ,and I stretched out my legs and tilted my head back in my patio chair to see if I could find the Big Dipper in the sky, while the sea breeze blew gently around, and in my head I was musing on this thread.
> *
> I wondered when it all became so complicated, interactions between men and women* &#8211; even the seeming inability to just plainly say &#8220;Hey, I like what I see of you and I&#8217;d like to get to know you better.&#8221; Women feel awkward making the first move to indicate interest, men prevaricate and decide a dog and fire rings are less complicated and off-putting than reaching out to someone, and everyone dances around the possibility of getting hurt. *How did it become this difficult? Is it we ourselves? Or is it something else &#8211; distance, jobs, health issues or familial obligations?*
> 
> Instead we come here, tell stories, and share the love dying to jump out through poetry, songs, photos, jokes. Sometimes we just have fun playing silly word games and goofing off. We&#8217;re all brave and say we accept where we are, we&#8217;re just fine without a partner, and everyone agrees being partnerless is better than being in a bad relationship.
> 
> Yet at times the loneliness is so heavy here underneath our quick and witty repartee, winding in and out between the lyrics of favorite songs, winking between coy references to intimacy and looking over the shoulder of well placed innuendos, and I just can&#8217;t help but think something has gone terribly awry between men and women.
> 
> Anyway, that&#8217;s how my mind wanders on a Wednesday night when I&#8217;m tired and in desperate need of my upcoming vacation in T minus 11 days :sing:
> 
> I don&#8217;t have an answer, but there has to be one. * Any one care to try to shine light on the subject?* Or is it just too heavy and we should all go play quarters and songs and congratulate zong on his wonderful marriage
> 
> ~ST (pensively curious)


IMHO

When? I would say I really noticed in the 1990's

How? Our roles got jumbled up. 
Women took off the apron and put on a business suit. 
Women stopped putting up with abuse and told their dh's to hit the dang road.
Men were being trained in school to be 'less like boys and more like girls' 
The sexual revolution told men they were either a 'life support system for a wallet' or just a 'donor'.
No wonder there's no respect.....

Multiple marriages, with a full set of baggage that we carry after each divorce (not all....but the majority).
Loss of innocence. Long gone are the days of just pure innocent love. 
Seems everyone has an agenda now. So we guard ourselves.
Very few are willing to be 'all in'......just throw caution to the wind (in a committed relationship) and drown in the sea of love.

So when we find ourselves single....and on the market.....we guard our hearts, minds, etc. 
We do not relax and just be. We don't want to be rejected, but we are afraid to be ourselves.
No one wants to take that risk.

Technology comes along and it gives us an 'alter personality'.
The meek can be bold. The bold and appear meek.
We can say things we would NEVER dare speak in IRL.
We can 'hide' behind a phone, computer, tablet....chat, talk, share photos, be real or fake....and there is NO commitment. 
It's easy. No strings attached, no feelings to hurt, no true investment....

For decades it has been ram rodded down our throats:
"If you're not w the one you love? Love the one you're with."
"There are no absolutes"
"Follow your heart, if it feels right, go for it"
"Commitment is old fashioned, we are so modern and advanced".

I really see it as sowing and reaping.

I'm an all on the table--all in kinda gal, arce-over-tea-kettle invested. Loyal as a puppy....
I let my 'crazy' hang out for all to see.
But I would take the shirt off my back and give it to a stranger if I thought it would brighten their day.
What you see is what you get, so don't throw a fit.
Strong Type A personality, and it makes me 'scary'.
It's gonna take a seasoned Marine to reign me in......HA HA

There are so very very few who are 'all in-open-let it all hang out' types left.


----------



## doingitmyself

I'LL take a shot at it. It started to become harder as we aged, in that what was so important when we were younger we found in reality had little to no value in the long term. Add to that realisation that we are no longer governed by raging hormones. Also the fact that we have had the time to contemplate our own mortality, i submit we have effectively taken off our rose colored glasses.

Those of us single as well as many married at this time of our lives honestly FINALLY know what we want out of life and a partner. Add the attitude of disposable everything, sprinkle in the increasing speed of societies changing views of what a marriage is, fold in the broken family syndrome, stand back and mix on high speed until the feeling of oldness, and devalued worth rises from the bowl. 

Finally, roll the mess on a counter top dusted with an increasing feeling of governmental misdirection and the uncertainty of our country's future. The end product tends to be the perfect loaf of a panicky generation of boomers looking for love and company in a group of well meaning but highly cautious, mirror images of themselves.

Or maybe not, just my 2 cents.......


----------



## frogmammy

Well, I think life really WAS easier when I had all the answers!

Mon


----------



## oneraddad

If it's out of your control, why waste time thinking about it ?

It's not productive.


----------



## doingitmyself

Nice toolage there Dave!!!:thumb:


----------



## oneraddad

Here's my newest tractor and one of the things I think about often.


----------



## bajiay

Precious!


----------



## oneraddad

bajiay said:


> Precious!



I care what he thinks of me... I sit on rock, Blake sit's on a rock. I lean on a tree, Blake leans on a tree. 

This is the stuff that is important. The time from when my kids left and the Grandkids showed up was short, as I look back on it.


----------



## bajiay

Yes, that's the important stuff. You have it figured out. 
Blake is beautiful. I just want to hug him!


----------



## oneraddad

bajiay said:


> Yes, that's the important stuff. You have it figured out.
> Blake is beautiful. I just want to hug him!



You're almost there. 

There's really not much to figure out. Just like being a parent, it all comes so natural. This is just my opinion, but... I think you really have to work at being a bad a parent, because being a good one comes so naturally.


----------



## doingitmyself

Laura Zone 5 said:


> I may not be the sharpest crayon in the box, but ---- it, I still got color!!


I agree Laura!

Laura, so many folks are so busy sharpening their crayons. It's a shame that in essence all they are doing is dulling their sharpener, shortening their crayons and making colored shavings that are in essence their resources reduced to tiny bits.

No one taught them that sometimes you just have to peel the label off, lay the crayon on its side and fill in the large areas and get the shading just right with a wide crayon instead of the pinpoint crayon!! I'm just saying an artist of life does not confine him/herself to staying in the lines, or just coloring a tiny point! Sometimes you just got to "let-er-budge"!!!! LOLOL


----------



## cindilu

oneraddad said:


> Here's my newest tractor and one of the things I think about often.


That is one absolutely cute kid. Oh my goodness, you are going to have so much fun playing with him and his tractor.


----------



## Ardie/WI

My take on all this stuff is this!

Get yourselves out there and have a good time! If you have a date, go into it as "I'm not going to get laid or have a romance. I'm going to have fun and get to know a new person and potential friend!".

If a romance happens, fine. If it doesn't work and you get hurt, so what!? Have a good cry, dust yourself off and get back into the game. You've been hurt before and it didn't kill you, so go for the next one!


----------



## SilverFlame819

WhyNot said:


> Often I say I believe I was meant to be alone and I get a lot of crud from saying that. I truly believe that but probably not the way people think.
> 
> Would I love one person to spend the rest of my life with? Absolutely. However, looking back on things, the type of person I am and the things that go on as the larger patterns in my life, it really would not surprise me if I don't ever find that one long lasting thing. The real crapper is I already know I'd be fabulous at it. I think that bothers me more than anything. I've got a whole lot here that is ready...and for no one to experience it or share that with...downright sucks.
> 
> Believe it or not I'm pretty personable and very charming to those I chime with...but never quite get there. If I ever do....better hold on though!


This exactly. Do I feel doomed? No. I enjoy my solitude, and being able to do exactly what I want. But it would be nice to have a SO, just to have someone around to talk to and do things with... Someone who actually wanted to hear what was on my mind, and to have those much-missed simple intimacies with... A touch on the back, a warm hug... I enjoy doing for others. It would be nice to have someone to cook for, and spend time with. But I'm not seeing any suitors riding in on white horses (or even stumbling in, covered in dirt). The life thus far has been a solitary one, and it's not looking like it's going to change. Which, on one hand, is great... But on the other, really sucks. On top of not having a SO, at my age a lack of an SO also means a lack of children. And I'm not baby hungry in the slightest. But I do think about the fact that there is nobody to pass on my knowledge and traditions to, and when I'm in my 40's, and 50's, and 60's, there will be nobody around to do the canning with, or celebrate holidays with... No grandkids to buy things for, nobody to enjoy my personal successes with. And that just kind of sucks. :\

I feel like I could really make someone happy. But maybe the person I could make really happy just doesn't exist.


----------



## davel745

doingitmyself said:


> Nice toolage there Dave!!!:thumb:


thank you I use it almost every day for something. today the fed ex driver went off the driveway and I pulled her out. always something


----------



## viggie

Naw, I just think the right person is worth waiting for. I know I'm not being picky because I only have 2 "must haves"....I've just seen too people not wait and it's not worth all the pain and the mess it makes of the whole rest of your life.


----------



## davel745

I know it sounds crazy but I would like to meet someone from our home (here). I must be crazy. Ha


----------



## bajiay

That's not crazy dave. At least you know some things would be in common. That's part of the battle.


----------



## doingitmyself

^^not crazy at all^^

If your panning for gold you always go where gold has been found, you don't look for gold in the Walmart parking lot where they park the carts!! LOLOL:buds:


----------



## Terri in WV

davel745 said:


> I know it sounds crazy but I would like to meet someone from our home (here). I must be crazy. Ha


Well, if you really want to, why don't you make it happen?


----------



## FarmboyBill

Nope, your not crraazzy Dave. That's why I want to wait till I move so as to find someone around there. Solve a lot of family problems, and likely create some others.


----------



## davel745

well for the first time on close to twenty years I am trying to reach out to someone it is so scary. I have all these what if's. what if this and what if that. maybe I can talk myself out of trying LOL


----------



## SimplerTimez

frogmammy said:


> Well, I think life really WAS easier when I had all the answers!
> 
> Mon


I'm still waiting for that moment - usually all I have is questions!! 

Thanks DIM and LZ5 for your comments. There is truth in much of what both of you said.

~ST


----------



## Terri in WV

Dave, you could be doing that 20 years from now. What if I hadn't reached out and met her.....What if I hadn't taken the chance...what if...what if...


----------



## Ardie/WI

davel745 said:


> well for the first time on close to twenty years I am trying to reach out to someone it is so scary. I have all these what if's. what if this and what if that. maybe I can talk myself out of trying LOL


Talk from an ol' lady. Forget the "what if's"! What if the "what if's" never happen? You'll have wasted precious time and energy worrying, that's what!

I grew up hearing "what if" and worried a lot. One day, I told myself that I will tackle the issue if and when "what if" happens! I never died of it! :clap:


----------



## bajiay

I still just want to hug that little boy Blake. I thought of his face today and it just made me smile.  He won my heart!


----------



## 355946

cindilu said:


> Howdy from another PNW peep. We sure do have a bunch of us on here.



It's good to know that. I am living in Alaska because it's a wonderful job but would (theoretically) like to find love near my house and land in Western WA. How's that working, you might ask? If the goal is staying alone and being in total control so I'm not hurt again, great. Otherwise, time for some changes! First step is posting here after reading posts for a year. Hello!


----------



## Terri in WV

Welcome PK! You shouldn't have been so shy and joined us earlier.


----------



## Twp.Tom

Welcome, Patricia*, It was so nice for you to introduce yourself. I am pleased to meet you. I hope that you find your visits here, as enjoyable, and inspirational, as Possible* I am not from the PNW., but it does sure seem like many here are from that area-their posts, make me want to visit the area,and set a spell*. Best wishes, in attaining your goals.* Looking forward to you sharing with everyone here*


----------



## Laura Zone 5

doingitmyself said:


> ^^not crazy at all^^
> 
> If your panning for gold you always go where gold has been found, you don't look for gold in the Walmart parking lot where they park the carts!! LOLOL:buds:


That, is brilliant!!

Dinosaur roaming the earth, party of one here.

Is it true that the MAJORITY of 'meeting people' happens online / dating sites now?
Is it wrong to have a 'type' of person in your mind that you think will be an amazing fit? (not a rigid 'it has to be all of this or nothing' type image, but a good description of what you are interested in...)


----------



## bajiay

I have that in my head. Written down as well actually. Before I met my ex I decided what I wanted in a man and how I wanted things to be for our marriage and that is exactly what I got. I just didn't write down that he couldn't have any serious addictions or be a chronic liar...


----------



## Laura Zone 5

Lying addict? Strike 1, 2, and 3.

After the last 3 years, I 'question' my ability to 'make good judgements' on people's honesty and integrity.
2 days ago at work, the young man I work with said "trust me".....
It took my breath away, because the last time I 'trusted' I ended up in a blender on ludacris speed!

I am hoping that WHEN I see the character traits that are 'must haves', show themselves, I will know it.


----------



## Raeven

PatriciaK said:


> It's good to know that. I am living in Alaska because it's a wonderful job but would (theoretically) like to find love near my house and land in Western WA. How's that working, you might ask? If the goal is staying alone and being in total control so I'm not hurt again, great. Otherwise, time for some changes! First step is posting here after reading posts for a year. Hello!


Welcome, PatriciaK, nice to see another PNWer here.  Most of us are wimmins, though... sorry 'bout that.


----------



## bajiay

I know what you mean Laura.
Thought I saw it in the new BF but I guess I was wrong again...we are no more. dating sucks...


----------



## Laura Zone 5

bajiay said:


> I have that in my head. Written down as well actually. Before I met my ex I decided what I wanted in a man and how I wanted things to be for our marriage and that is exactly what I got. I just didn't write down that he couldn't have any serious addictions or be a chronic liar...



I need someone stronger than me, bolder than I, knows how to reign me in, and takes control.
I am SICK of being, in control.

Someone who loves life. See's the pouring rain and mud puddles and says: It's a great day to be a duck.
Someone who can smile when a baby is screaming, because the remember and treasure those memories of their kids when they were babies.
Someone positive...full of energy.

Someone that's all in. For real.


----------



## bajiay

OMG Laura...I feel the same exact way! 
We need twinners!


----------



## Laura Zone 5

Twins, we wins!!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for someone to do all the work while I coast.....
I just need someone who 'out works' me. (Good luck on that)

At first I thought "NO WAY I will never ever let this happen again".
Now.....it's like........I WANT to be 'all in' again. (With someone who is also all in)
I want to let go.....swim in the sea of love.....feel that passion, that energy, that depth. 
Someone who walks into my hula hoop, runs their hand up my spine into my hair and draws me up to say "Stop...shhhhhh" or "I missed you" or "It's so good to be home"......but that deep connection, passion.....you know what I'm talking about.....
I know it's out there.
And I want it.

Past feelings be pamned.
I am ready for the good stuff.


----------



## bajiay

Exactly!!!

I'm a very passionate woman in all things and I'm just sitting here idling.....


----------



## Laura Zone 5

I feel ya.

Seems like such a waste. 
I hope I find the "220 socket" to plug into before the wiring goes bad!
HA HA

Seriously......

When the kids were little they had a book that explained what thunder was.
Positive and Negative somethingorothers slamming into each other, making a huge crash (or maybe that's lightning).....
It helped them not be 'afraid' but understand scientifically what was happening.

I am ready for the light show!!
I am not dead yet!!


----------



## bajiay

I'm really discouraged right now....
I know I haven't been single long and I've only dated a handful of men, but I don't understand why it has to be so hard. 
Then to top it off, ex is texting me this morning...

I'm putting in an order...Mr. Right, wherever he is, please show up on my doorstep in time for dinner!


----------



## farmerj

nothing wrong with having a "mr right now" either.


----------



## FarmboyBill

baj, U say your putting off an oder????? Well, that could work lol


----------



## bajiay

Maybe that's the issue....I don't smell like hay or horse poo so I'm not attracting the right crowd


----------



## oneraddad

I'm going to town and I smell like pot, we'll see what happens.


----------



## bajiay

You're horrible!


----------



## L.A.

Sometimes I simply want a hug and a kiss,,,and maybe hold a girl tight,,

Forever is such a long time,,,,whenever is to restricting,,,But now However,,,,,?????

Hmmmm,,,,,,:icecream:


----------



## FarmboyBill

LA, Id dang near PAY a good lookin gal for a hug and a GOOD kiss, and to slow dance with her, But I aint got the alls in my overalls to ask one if shed do it lol.


----------



## bajiay

Ya'll make me laugh!


----------



## FarmboyBill

Why so??
You women command a power in how you look and act that 90% of you never use, and 75% are afraid of. We men know it, and to varying degrees are afraid of it also.


----------



## FarmboyBill

That is, cept Nick, that I know of. He aint skeered a eny wimmin


----------



## bajiay

Farmboy-One of the dates that I went on, after I told the guy nicely that I wasn't interested, he told me that I had the ability to have any man that I wanted but I didn't even know it. It seems like what you're saying is in that category.
Care to elaborate more?


----------



## FarmboyBill

Heck no lol. I been getting threatenin pms from guys cause I said what I did.


----------



## nehimama

davel745 said:


> well for the first time on close to twenty years I am trying to reach out to someone it is so scary. I have all these what if's. what if this and what if that. maybe I can talk myself out of trying LOL


Well, Dave! Send out a PM or 2 to the ladies here who appeal to you, and see if something resonates. I don't think any of the ladies here would bite your head off!


----------



## bajiay

Farmboy-CHICKEN!!


----------



## Ardie/WI

Laura Zone 5 said:


> Lying addict? Strike 1, 2, and 3.
> 
> After the last 3 years, I 'question' my ability to 'make good judgements' on people's honesty and integrity.
> 2 days ago at work, the young man I work with said "trust me".....
> It took my breath away, because the last time I 'trusted' I ended up in a blender on ludacris speed!
> 
> I am hoping that WHEN I see the character traits that are 'must haves', show themselves, I will know it.


A word of advice: NEVER trust someone who says, "Trust me!".

If someone says that to me, I run like the wind!


----------



## Ardie/WI

FarmboyBill said:


> Why so??
> You women command a power in how you look and act that 90% of you never use, and 75% are afraid of. We men know it, and to varying degrees are afraid of it also.


For once in my life, I agree with FBB! Yes ladies, you do and you haven't discovered half of your power!


----------



## FarmboyBill

And so Ardie you may see why I choose NOT to dissimulate further.


----------



## FarmboyBill

cluck cluck cluck cluck, Chicken Man lol


----------



## brewswain

Ardie/WI said:


> For once in my life, I agree with FBB! Yes ladies, you do and you haven't discovered half of your power!


Women can get anything they want....if they will just be sweet.
Single women here should post what state they are in


----------



## willow_girl

Pretty girls, look out! 
[YOUTUBE]zLAmxoX_P8U[/YOUTUBE]
Just happened to be listening to that ... thought I'd share.


----------



## FarmboyBill

Bet W girl knows the power shes got, and how to use it. lol


----------



## Laura Zone 5

brewswain said:


> Women can get anything they want....if they will just be sweet.
> Single women here should post what state they are in


Does this loosely translate into "if you just put out, you can have what you want.........until he wants to try someone else who's puttin' out?"

I don't even know what "be sweet" means?


----------



## FarmboyBill

Laura, NOT IN THE LEAST. Matter of fact, with the right woman it could translate in, Your not getting it till I say I want it, and when I want it, Ill just whistle and youll come running.


----------



## Laura Zone 5

FBB do you really believe that?
Cause that's not what I am seeing in real life......


----------



## Ardie/WI

FarmboyBill said:


> Laura, NOT IN THE LEAST. Matter of fact, with the right woman it could translate in, Your not getting it till I say I want it, and when I want it, Ill just whistle and youll come running.


Exactly^^^^!

It's an attitude. It's confidence. (And, yes, I would surmise that W-girl has it in abundance. She should give classes!).


----------



## doingitmyself

Starting to sound like mind games, power struggles, and things i have no time for or interest it. Everyone likes to be around confident people men or women, we all want to be on a winning team, but to use "womanly ways" to get stuff is a fast track to a very short relationship. Everyone knows that, and it creates a reputation good men stay away from.

You may get a kitchen partially remodeled, but it isn't likely to ever get finished. I mean why would he finish it, he knows your playing him, yur not his first game nor the best. At some point he loses any respect he may have had for you. Now you become that piece of sweetness that lasts only a moment and he starts looking for something more satisfying. 

In the meanwhile the game you were running on him is now turned around and when he whistles you come running so you can get the dang doors hung on the cabinets sometime this month already!!!! Who's playing who now, not so much fun when it get turned around on you!!! And just exactly how does that make you feel? cheap, of little value, that sounds about right.


----------



## brewswain

Laura Zone 5 said:


> Does this loosely translate into "if you just put out, you can have what you want.........until he wants to try someone else who's puttin' out?"
> 
> I don't even know what "be sweet" means?


How could anyone TWIST my statement so badly??????
It EXACTLY translates into EXACTLY what I said. A woman can get anything she wants out of a man if she will be sweet to him. Dont you think that men are eager to please their woman?
Its even sadder that a woman doesnt even know what it means to be sweet. 
I didnt want to say anything negative but I guess I will have to in order to explain what it means to be nice to your husband. It seems that some American women have forgotten that being pleasant and agreeable gets the best results. Some think that being loud and demanding and acting as if they think their man is an idiot is the right thing to do. I_t might be instructive to read _
*Dr. Helen Smith's New Book, "Men On Strike"*



*For the record, I did not say anything about sex. I have never cheated on any of my girlfriends or the woman I married*


----------



## doingitmyself

Honestly, if a man has to earn the candy, and it isn't freely offered on its own accord there are problems in other areas that need addressing. Time for consoling, or a reconnecting VACA to figure out whats going on. Mexico anyone!!LOLOL


----------



## doingitmyself

Excellent post Brew!!!


----------



## Laura Zone 5

brewswain said:


> How could anyone TWIST my statement so badly??????


i didn't twist, I asked a question for clairification. 
Sometimes things go 'sideways' in here, and I wanted to know if that was the direction we were headed or if you meant something else.



> It EXACTLY translates into EXACTLY what I said. A woman can get anything she wants out of a man if she will be sweet to him. *Dont you think that men are eager to please their woman?*


I have not personally experienced it, so that is why I questioned.



> Its even sadder that a woman doesnt even know what it means to be sweet.


Sweet to me is a 'disney word' and yeah, I'm sad.
If being sweet means:
Cookin', cleaning ,taking care of the bills, handling all service calls.
Shopping, laundry, raising 3 amazing kids, working outside the home.
Canning, dehydrating, and being prepared with a huge panty.
Sitting with him in the garage when he's working on something, making his favorite meals, making sure whatever his heart desires is there, when he wants it (material or otherwise), calling him on the phone and talking to him every night on my way home from work. 
Never arguing, keeping the peace when he is upset, bowing to his every whim..........for 24 years?
If that's 'being sweet' then yeah, I know how to do that.
Unfortunately, it didn't 'work'.



> I didnt want to say anything negative but I guess I will have to in order to explain what it means to be nice to your husband. It seems that some American women have forgotten that being pleasant and agreeable gets the best results. Some think that being loud and demanding and acting as if they think their man is an idiot is the right thing to do. I_t might be instructive to read _
> *Dr. Helen Smith's New Book, "Men On Strike"*


Well, funny, it is America.
Sorry, I am no longer a door matt to his gas lighting, childish, cheating ways.
I don't know what color the sky is on your planet but here on earth the above statement can be seen as an abusive relationship.



*



For the record, I did not say anything about sex. I have never cheated on any of my girlfriends or the woman I married

Click to expand...

*Good on you!


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## Laura Zone 5

doingitmyself said:


> Starting to sound like mind games, power struggles, and things i have no time for or interest it. Everyone likes to be around confident people men or women, we all want to be on a winning team, *but to use "womanly ways" to get stuff is a fast track* to a very short relationship. Everyone knows that, and it creates a reputation good men stay away from.


Amen.
Say what you mean, mean what you say.
Be 100% you, 100% of the time.



> You may get a kitchen partially remodeled, but it isn't likely to ever get finished. I mean why would he finish it, he knows your playing him, yur not his first game nor the best. At some point he loses any respect he may have had for you. Now you become that piece of sweetness that lasts only a moment and he starts looking for something more satisfying.
> 
> In the meanwhile the game you were running on him is now turned around and when he whistles you come running so you can get the dang doors hung on the cabinets sometime this month already!!!! Who's playing who now, not so much fun when it get turned around on you!!! And just exactly how does that make you feel? cheap, of little value, that sounds about right.


Games are for high schoolers.
Honesty is always the best policy......


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## Ardie/WI

Ardie/WI said:


> Exactly^^^^!
> 
> It's an attitude. It's confidence. (And, yes, I would surmise that W-girl has it in abundance. She should give classes!).


Again, I'll say it's attitude and self confidence. 

Womanly wiles went out of style a long time ago. Why? Because they were phoney. There is nothing phoney about self confidence.


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## oneraddad

You have to be a whole lot more than sweet to get my attention, some guys are just to easy.


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## FarmboyBill

myself. I beleve that a man, that a man can withhold the candy as well as a woman. We men all know that we aren't likely to do that, but women are. Id bet that many men would withhold it IF they had to put up with a bag of dirt maybe weighing one side or the other of 200lbs bouncing around on top of them for awhile. 
A man should interact with his woman I BELIEVE, so that, she WANTS to have it with him, IN DOING THAT, in a round about way, yes you could say that he had earned it. Its all in how you choose to look at it.
I wouldn't want a woman who, because of her wisdom, intelligence, looks, moxie, didn't cause me to nearly worship her being, and want to be around and near her, Want to know more about her, Want to be constantly on the good side of her. IF that ment I had done things to EARN her pleasure, than that's another way of looking at it.

Could that be why im single??


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## oneraddad

Does anybody here think Bill doing jumping jacks in front of a mirror nekked, would be sexy ?


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## FarmboyBill

I do lol


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## oneraddad

FarmboyBill said:


> I do lol



I try to crack a funny at Zong and it wasn't well received. I mess with you, Bill, and no one comes to your aid. HAR !


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## Twp.Tom

Now you got me thinking about doing some jumping jacks?


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## oneraddad

Twp.Tom said:


> Now you got me thinking about doing some jumping jacks?



Hahahaha !!! Now that's funny !


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## Twp.Tom

You would be surprised, exactly how funny it would be* Me doing Jumping Jacks lol.!


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## bajiay

naked?


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## oneraddad

bajiay said:


> naked?



I'll just watch


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## bajiay

haha!


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## Ardie/WI

Twp.Tom said:


> Now you got me thinking about doing some jumping jacks?


Please do them wearing underwear for obvious reasons.


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## bajiay

hahaha...nevermind...


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## FarmboyBill

What?? underwear take the fun outa it LOL?


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## willow_girl

FarmboyBill said:


> Bet W girl knows the power shes got, and how to use it. lol


Nawww, I'm just a homely girl who knows how to make a man jump for joy. ound:


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## Guest

Stuff like this is what leads to bubble hash. 

One day you are percolating right along, the next you realize that there are people on ST who are on the edge of going postal. Everytime I read about somebody driving their carful of kids in the ocean, I look to see who ain't posting any more.


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## oneraddad

I'm still here with my bubble hash


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## cindilu

Yeah, I haven't been driving unto any beaches lately either. And for the most part I always have a smile on my face. And no, the smiles is not due to being on meds of any kind. Just happy with life I guess. Single life really isn't so bad.


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## Twp.Tom

Whats bubble hash?


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## FarmboyBill

I wish I could eat pan hash againi lol.


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## oneraddad

Twp.Tom said:


> Whats bubble hash?



Hash made with pot, ice and water


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## davel745

I like my hash with eggs


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## WildPrGardens

With the way this string has angled off I doubt anyone could hope to find their SO to be.


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## Ardie/WI

WildPrGardens said:


> With the way this string has angled off I doubt anyone could hope to find their SO to be.


LOL! That happens all the time here! :teehee:


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## FarmboyBill

Its expected. We take bets as to the number of postings that will pass before it happens


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## Jim-mi

Bid is 53 . . .do I hear 58 . . . . .now its 65 . . . . . . . ./...../........///.....


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## Twp.Tom

Bingo!


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## Laura Zone 5

Yahtzee!!


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## Twp.Tom

You sunk my Battleship?


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## Laura

Get a Life and spin again!


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## Laura Zone 5

Uno.....


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## Twp.Tom

She knocked my block off! (rock-em, sock-em robots*)


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## SimplerTimez

Jeopardy! (this thread is heading for it...)

~ST


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## Twp.Tom

The price ,is right!


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## bajiay

I lost...what comes off first?


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## Laura Zone 5

Black Jack!


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## Twp.Tom

Royal Flush*


----------



## FarmboyBill

Ive got a Secret


----------



## doingitmyself

Go fish, sucker!


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## Jim-mi

do not pass Go


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## SimplerTimez

Taboo!


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## Twp.Tom

jenga!


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## Raeven

Risk!!


----------



## Twp.Tom

The Game of Life!


----------



## Tommyice

Open the door.....

[youtube]wfcBl_Eps_c[/youtube]


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## Twp.Tom

What's my line?


----------



## Terri in WV

Trouble


----------



## bajiay

Shanghai!


----------



## Jaclynne

Don't it make you feel like 'Queen for the Day'?


----------



## oneraddad

Bullseye !


----------



## oneraddad

Checkmate !


----------



## SimplerTimez

Pass the Pigs


----------



## Twp.Tom

Candyland!


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## FarmboyBill

Worsena buncha kids lol


----------



## bajiay

so????


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## Laura Zone 5

Am not.


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## Twp.Tom

I'll tell!


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## nehimama

I'll take Bachelor # 3!


----------



## FarmboyBill

Youll take all 3 bachelors?? lol


----------



## doingitmyself

You landed on my Boardwalk, what? you have no money , thats OK i'll just take your B&O railroad and we will call it even..... gre:


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## nehimama

Euchre!


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## bajiay

King me!


----------



## Jim-mi

that would be fun


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## Laura Zone 5

Canasta!


----------



## bajiay

What do I win?


----------



## Jim-mi

The pot has seven cents in it . . . . . You is rich


----------



## bajiay

Oh...that's where my sense went to!


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## FarmboyBill

I bid 3


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## Jim-mi

do I hear five . . .???????


----------



## Terri in WV

go fish


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## Jim-mi

not so fast sister...........


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## Laura Zone 5

Old Maid


----------



## FarmboyBill

U talkin bout my girl friend??


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## nehimama

Ollie ollie olsen free -oh!


----------



## Laura Zone 5

Marco!


----------



## WildPrGardens

I didn't realize cabin-fever was contagious thru the ethernet.

Yo'all are just plum looney.


----------



## Jim-mi

Geeezzzz . .we were having a nice discussion and you have to bring up politics . . .


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## FarmboyBill

LOL. Theres a part of a Hwy outside Owasso Okla that's named after Sgt Looney. I was telling my boy, with the both of us being in the military, What I could see Sgt Looney telling us, Boys, Were gonna leave this 1 storey build, cross the street, hope the Charlie on the tops of those 2 storie bldgs. in front of us don't get us, throw up the ladder that's laying in back of this building, get to the top, and work ourselves both ways clearing the top of that bldg. I could hear a soldier say DANG SARGENT LOONEY, R U Looney lol


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## bajiay

What's behind door number 3?


----------



## Jim-mi

Don't know . . . . . .My straight jacket wont let me open the darn door


----------



## bajiay

I knew something was wrong with you!!


----------



## Jim-mi

I am more fine than a dozen red roses . . . . . .The problem is the staff here at the home . . . . . . .they are all looney-tunes .


----------



## Fictionprison

Barnyardgal,

I see some very good advice here and agree with most of it. I asked a similar question the other day as I wasn't sure how to go about dating again and find someone like-minded. I see a lot of obstacles, which were mentioned in some posts above, such as someone like-minded probably has their own homestead and wont be willing to give up on their hard work to move. Or the fact that we are all scattered about in rural areas, too far in many cases for a relationship to work out. So just how do you meet others that are open to moving? Because I sure wouldn't be open to moving myself. The overwhelming response I got was to just work on myself and stop worrying about finding someone right now. I think that is sound advice and I will just concentrate on building up my dream of having a self-sufficient homestead. Having a woman in my life to share in my dream would be great, but its not necessary. I am perfectly able and have the skills to garden, can vegetables, cook, hunt, fish, raise animals, gather wild edibles, perform carpentry, plumbing, and electrical work, and pretty much anything needed on a small farm without any help. While it would be nice to have that extra set of hands, its not necessary. Having a companion is great, but like Unregistered said, "A lot of people are just so afraid of getting hurt they'd rather be alone." I have been saying this for a while now as part of me is lonely and wishes for that companionship again, but I am really hesitant to actively look as my previous wife devastated me. I know its easier said than done, but please don't try and stress over it and just work on making yourself happy. The right guy will come along someday, probably when you least expect it.


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## Alice In TX/MO

As it has been sixteen years since the original post, I hope she has either had success, or given up.


----------



## FarmboyBill

I NEVER have found a SOUL mate, as such. I just found women to mate with lol All city gals at that and none of them was great cooks.


----------



## FarmboyBill

I think I will never find a mate, but I sure wouldnt call it doomed. I doubt if any woman I had would let me start a job again at my age, much less leaving her at home alone. i find being alone, SOMEWHAT satisfying. Sometimes its good to be alone, and you thank God for it. Sometimes you dont even think about it one way or the other. Sometimes you want to be with somebody.


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## frogmammy

FarmboyBill said:


> Sometimes you want to be with somebody.


That's what hobbies, clubs, church, and McDonald's are for.

Mon


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