# How to be balanced????



## Sheripoms (May 17, 2008)

Hey girls and guys I was just sitting here thinking that I have NO clue on how to be balanced with all my responsibilities. My mother was a polish/irish woman who's favorite saying is "can't never did do nothing". We were raised to shoot for the stars and never say die... My uncle was a Green beret in Vietnam if that gives ya any clue.

Buttttttttttttt as I get older (45) I realize that there are times when you just can't do it all and it makes me feel terrible guilt..
I have 2 businesses that I run out of my home and a disabled husband and I do alot in our ministry. Also have to take care of yard/garden/house fix ups.

And it is just dawning on me that as I look around at other 45 year old menopausal women:Bawling::Bawling: that maybe I am asking way to much of myself. 
Soooooooo I guess what I am asking you guys is ... How do you get your life balanced? Any clue?


----------



## Sumer (May 24, 2003)

I wish I knew.
One thing I really am trying to work on is the one thing at a time thing. Not taking on too much to begin with and crowbaring my son off his behind to help out.
Today I did do one thing to gain some control around here. Its a threat. I put a note up to my #2 son to remove his dresser out of the living room. I gave him 2 days. If he dosent do it the threat is for me to do it for him & he will not like that one bit. He will find 30 ways I did it wrong. 
Luckily my #1 son is in town and will back me up on this & will probably make him move it in 10 minutes after they see the note.


----------



## gorgegirl (Jul 30, 2006)

Have you been to flylady? http://www.flylady.net

I've used the system for several years. I'm not perfect and I don't always follow everything to the T, but overall it has made a huge difference in my life and how I view my house. I don't beat myself (guilt) over things that don't get done but I also able to stay on top of the cleaning and clutter MUCH better. :happy: 

I have a control journal that lists my daily routine and I also have a checklist for my boys (9 & 5) that they work off of every morning.....from taking a shower to putting their shoes on before they get on the bus. It helps them stay on task and I don't have to hover over them too much to make sure they are getting ready.

I also purchase her calendar once a year. I have found it to be very well made. The spaces are large enough to write in all of the different school activities, appointments, reminders etc. There is also a pocket in the back that I can place supporting documents....maps to weddings, school forms, reference information, etc. It's also a 17-18 month calendar, so it is nice to have more than one year to look at for long term stuff.

Overall, I'd give flylady a big thumbs up.


----------



## gone-a-milkin (Mar 4, 2007)

I am sure everybody is different about what "balanced" means to them. I happen to be a Libra, LOL.

I think it is really important to prioritize. We KNOW that there are not enough hours in the day, and some stuff simply HAS to get done, ASAP. The trick is to set aside some time (even a little) to plug away at the bigger projects. 

I tend to make lists. Not the kind where I say "today I will do X,Y & Z", but instead the list is ongoing. 
If I finish something, I cross it off, but make sure I can still read it.

For example~

~laundry off line
~branches to burn pile
~mail BFF box
~dogs baths
~make salsa
~vaccuum dog rugs
~woodpile

-I am sure I will accomplish the laundry, it is still wet. Plus, I need those pants for work tonight.

-The branches...well that is a new mess I am not ready to deal with yet. It helps me to look at it on paper though.

-The box I can wait til Monday. (PO is closed at noon, sat)

- The dogs really DO need baths and it will likely rain tomorrow. I was hoping DH would at least do one of them...this has been on the list for awhile. It is a PITA, and one I put off doing.

-salsa is mandatory, the fruitflies are insane in the back porch.

-dog rugs, not til after the baths

-woodpile, I moved 3 wheelbarrow loads yesterday. I am working on it a little at a time. It IS getting done, though not too quickly.

So that is *MY* way. I also write in the other stuff I do, like rearranging the pan cupboard, and washing one of the kitchen walls (dont ask!).Then when I look back, I will see where my time went. I just keep plugging away, taking tiny bites off the big projects and prioritizing the smaller ones. The sad thing is that my lists are virtually identical through each season. Last year this time I was making salsa and dealing with firewood too. It never ends!


----------



## cow whisperer (May 3, 2007)

I just recently went back to work after almost 6 years at home.... I am trying to find a happy medium between work and home.... I work an odd shift (1p - 9p, plus cleanup).... So most of my work has to be tackled in the morning.... Or leave a note for my hubby to help out.... Which he has no problem with, but I feel bad asking him to help....

I am going to try making a daily list and maybe save some of the easier things for DH to do.... I think once I get used to this schedule, I'll be okay....


----------



## ejagno (Jan 2, 2008)

You are not "Wonder Woman". This is a cartoon character. Made up, pretense, a fiction. I dreamed of growing up and being just like these people who we saw on tv, June Cleaver, Aunt Bee, and all the others who made homemaker look so easy. It's not. It never has been and never will be. Taking care of a home and family is the most daunting task ever although the rewards are by far the greatest known to man. The problem is that the rewards don't come by way of bonuses, vacations or even a steady income.

Now that I'm finished with my little rant. LOL Set up a routine that YOU are comfortable with. A daily routine that works for YOUR FAMILY. I tried the flylady route and although I learned a tremendous amount from her rants I just don't do well with being treated like a kid. The single most influential book I've ever read in my quest to get organized and balanced with "From Pigpen to Paradise" by Pam and Peggy Young. This book was so funny, so full of wonderful ideas to help us stay on track with our daily, weekly, monthly and seasonal responsibilities. It is basically your brain in a box. Of course I don't use a box anymore but a flexible planner.

Remember as kids that we had to have routines. We went to school, did certain classes at certain times, woke up at a certain time, did homework at a certain time, played at a certain time, ate at a certain time.....................
It was a ROUTINE. Of course it was flexible to a degree but was followed for the most part and we were happy. We were so familiar with it that looking back we didn't even realized we'd done it because it had become automatic. We knew responsibility and structure. Without this we get overwhelmed and lose track of where we should be in this day to day rat race called life.

Start small and write down what things you would need to do tonight that would help you have a terrific start to your day in the morning. Things such as prepare and set the coffeepot, having your vitamins all sorted and ready to take, having your clothes picked out and hanging in the bathroom to put on after your morning shower to prepping breakfast for in the morning. This alone would put you way ahead in the morning instead of dragging yourself to the kitchen to fix the coffeepot, find the vitamin bottles and read how many of each one to take, spending 30 minutes trying to find that perfect pair of jeans or socks that match.....................it's all about making your life easier.


----------

