# Looking for a unicorn!



## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

Ive been single for awhile now so I decided its time for me to find a unicorn


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Well, Looking for a unicorn, might be a good way to start looking for a good woman. A unicorn will be easier to find LOL.


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## Tommyice (Dec 5, 2010)

maverickxxx said:


> Ive been single for awhile now so I decided its time for me to find a unicorn


Finding a unicorn. Is that a euphemism for something?

p.s. Don't listen to FBB. There's plenty of good women out there. Maybe even one in particular.







A unicorn is a good way to get to the "fairy-tale ending."


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

Well I was thinking a unicorn would take care of lots of stuff provide transportation an also. Y default bring me to riches fame n fourtane etc...


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

Yea it is a mythical creature


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## Guest (Aug 23, 2012)

I think I have a uniform that might fit you. Same difference, right?


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

I decided after venture down the path myself an zongs recent dealings with vampires I have decided to search for different fabled creature


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

Also the two horns that usually protrude from the head of women are way overrated I'm going to set my sights a little lower an just one horn


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

I also am going to start searching in fields an meadows cause in the pics of them it looks like happy place peaceful tranquill etc... An vampires I think of dark alley in medieval England where jack the ripper hangs out. An that's not place for women


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## Tommyice (Dec 5, 2010)

Setting your sights lower than a woman's head to something with just one horn? Looking for someone in the middle of transgender work?

I'm confused, but then again, I'm a blonde.


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## Guest (Aug 24, 2012)

Last time I saw a unicorn, I got up real close and it was really a skinny rhinoceros. So, be careful. The skinny ones are the hungriest ones. And if you think a vampire can do some damage, a rhinoceros is really bad news. And they ain't no fun at all!! And don't even fake laugh at your jokes.


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## Guest (Aug 24, 2012)

BTW, started my new job today. I mean, they didn't actually hire me, so I'm sort of free lance. A walmart greeter!! I wear big white gloves and wave at people and talk like Mickey mouse. That way, I can ogle the walmart vampires and when they walk by, throw some near holy water on them. I don't know when I'll be at work again, some sort of "No Trespass" order, I think that's like a work order?? No matter. Some of those big vampires can turn around remarkably fast. But after the rhinoceros thing, I ain't scared.


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

I don't trust knee less creatures


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## Guest (Aug 24, 2012)

You ever see those aliens with the knees that bend backward? That freaks me out!! One time I thought the mother ship had come back for me, and they got out, bending their knees backward and stuff. So, I pretended like I was waiting for mothers hip instead of mother ship. Man, they would have broke my legs and wired me up for 220 or something.


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## momof2 (Mar 28, 2003)

maverickxxx said:


> Also the two horns that usually protrude from the head of women are way overrated I'm going to set my sights a little lower an just one horn


Ok... that was just MEAN! :hand:

Those 2 horns are what keeps my halo balanced so nicely


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

i may do a reverse search then....find a woman who thinks i am a unicorn and wants me in her barn.....i would love to pull a plow and get fed grain at end of day along with a rub down and brushing so i can do it all over again next day.on the weekend she could ride me to the river so she could go fishing.


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## Guest (Aug 24, 2012)

I need a woman that can make cheese. Thats about my only requirement. I do everything else. Oh, maybe a little conversation from time to time. I'm forgetting how to talk.


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

That's strange cause most men don't want them to talk


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## Guest (Aug 24, 2012)

I don't mind the talking as long as it isn't begging for sex all the time. I get so tired of hearing that. They just got one thing on their mind!! And it ain't making cheese, either.


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

N I'm also the only one that has a legit met claim to being an angel


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## Guest (Aug 24, 2012)

I knew one that was an angle. An acute angle, at that.


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## momof2 (Mar 28, 2003)

maverickxxx said:


> N I'm also the only one that has a legit met claim to being an angel


Oh boy... we gotta work on that then. You may need to make a trip down south and let me show you how to incorporate a little devil into your angel self... I had trouble typing that without laughing at the thought of you being an angel :hysterical:

You know us southern girls are a little bit of heaven with a wild side


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## sherry in Maine (Nov 22, 2007)

Well Zong, I know how to 'cut the cheese' . . . .


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## Guest (Aug 24, 2012)

Is that a vague reference to getting someone's credit card number or something? I'm a little out of touch...


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## sherry in Maine (Nov 22, 2007)

mav, I think I read somewhere that the myth of the unicorn had something to do with something else. . . the unicorn was looking for virgin's laps to lay his head in . . .


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## sherry in Maine (Nov 22, 2007)

yes, zong, send it to me


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## Guest (Aug 24, 2012)

Br549


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## sherry in Maine (Nov 22, 2007)

what kind of cc nr is that? seems more like your birthday or shoe size


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## Guest (Aug 24, 2012)

You never saw Hee-Haw?? Oh, wait, before your time, I bet. You ain't fooling me with that "50+" age you claim. Kiddo.


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## sherry in Maine (Nov 22, 2007)

used to watch 'hee haw' as a teen, but dont remember 'br549'

I only watched 'hee haw' because mom and dad did, but I enjoyed it . . . .


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## willow_girl (Dec 7, 2002)

Looking for a unicorn? I hear you should bait the trap with Skittles ...


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## Guest (Aug 24, 2012)

For you, Sherry
[YOUTUBE]FeDX6ESys10[/YOUTUBE]


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## JohnnyLee (Feb 13, 2011)

You watched Hee Haw, but don't remember Junior Samples?

[youtube]FeDX6ESys10[/youtube]


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## Guest (Aug 24, 2012)

Whaa??? I'm in another one of those darn time warps. Some things need to be said twice.
Whaa??? I'm in another one of those darn time warps. Some things need to be said twice.


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## JohnnyLee (Feb 13, 2011)

oops! I didn't know there was a second page, LOL! Guess great minds DO think alike! lol

Guess there should be a law about posting on a forum while drinking, but until there is, I am just gonna keep on doing it!


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## Guest (Aug 24, 2012)

Great minds drink alike too, ya know. Look at Winston Churchill.


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

I thought it was an unwritten law that you had to drink to be on this forum.:buds:


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## JohnnyLee (Feb 13, 2011)

Terri in WV said:


> I thought it was an unwritten law that you had to drink to be on this forum.:buds:


Well carp! It was until you went and wrote that! :rock:


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## JohnnyLee (Feb 13, 2011)

I wonder what the penalty is for writing down an unwritten law?


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## Guest (Aug 24, 2012)

My understanding is that you have to memorize the Riemann hypothesis and be able to explain it in plain english. You know, the one about the non-trivial zero's?


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

Terri in WV said:


> I thought it was an unwritten law that you had to drink to be on this forum.:buds:


You have to be drunk in order to decipher 86% of the posts. :shrug:


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## Guest (Aug 24, 2012)

86 is not a prime number. What about 83? or 89? Anything but 86. My age is a prime number. The year I was born is a prime number. The letters in my name add up to a prime number. I can't help it if I'm lucky.


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

Don't push me. I could have picked 69.


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## Guest (Aug 24, 2012)

69 is a primo number.


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

All this talk about unicorns and fishing boots...he he he he


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## JohnnyLee (Feb 13, 2011)

Yep, and if you get 86'ed, then you ain't drinking no more anyway, so, that number is all wrong.


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## JohnnyLee (Feb 13, 2011)

zong said:


> I don't mind the talking as long as it isn't begging for sex all the time. I get so tired of hearing that. They just got one thing on their mind!! And it ain't making cheese, either.


You're right!

Women like it just as much as we do, if not more (like the ones I have seen), but they want to put it ALL on us. Like we are to blame for everything.

I am all for women's rights, too, don't get me wrong.

Especially the right to remain silent. Haven't met one yet that has EVER used that right!  :teehee:


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## JohnnyLee (Feb 13, 2011)




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## Guest (Aug 24, 2012)

I'm not just for women's rights, I'm also for women's lefts.


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## JohnnyLee (Feb 13, 2011)

LOL! This will teach me! Don't drink, watch Rodney Carrington videos on youtube and post on a forum at the same time.

Maybe....

LOL!


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## Guest (Aug 24, 2012)

Heck, Johnny. I know a couple things better than watching youtube and posting. Oh, wait, I guess I don't.


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## JohnnyLee (Feb 13, 2011)

THREE things at once, drinking, posting, watching. Just sayin'. I gots mad skills.


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## Guest (Aug 24, 2012)

Dude!!! Dig this!! You know it's true!!

[YOUTUBE]KStsPPgeka4[/YOUTUBE]


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## Guest (Aug 24, 2012)

Flash!! after an hour of pushing the refresh button every 3 or 4 seconds, I declare myself the king of staying up late and getting up early. If you stay up late and get up late it don't count. And if you get up early but go to bed early, it don't count. And Ramalamalamalamalama Ding Dong is as good a name as Jelly.

Llarry the llama: "Llook out Llarry!! It's the llandllord!!"

My mitochondria are angry


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## JohnnyLee (Feb 13, 2011)

Truth? Are you sure you know what is TRUE or not? Or is that just your own paradoxical view of the truth?

(Not an attack on you ZONG or your views, just a small glimpse inside my troubled mind)

We all have a personal truth. One that we feel, and know to be true. Seldom are "these" truths in line with the "TRUE" truth. And only one that "KNOWS" the truth, can truly see the "TRUE" truth.

This personal, this "children's story" truth is one that we have all heard, one we all "think" we know and understand. But life is all about the uncovering of the truth, the raw, visceral, truth of what life really is, most people cannot come to grips with. They put up all these walls and build schools of thought to protect them from the sight of the truth. People today spend more time hiding from the truth than living it and it makes me sick. Fake people running around on a hamster wheel that they think is "life"?

Why?

It's better to face the truth and deal with it, stare it down, and own it, than to run and hide in fear.

Like that one Jack Nicholson film, "You can't handle the Truth!" lol

(as I have said before, the "you" I use should be really read as "one" (this is for others, not Zong, he understands me))

Sorry, just the waxing ramblings of an intellectual.

My brother and I share a lot of things that make us "us". We are both college graduates, highly intelligent, both work/have worked in the Computer science field, but this is not not what we discuss when we talk.

Mostly we talk about life and philosophy. Both seeking our own definitions of what is true or not. Both afflicted with the same "syndrome" "disease" or whatever it is called today. Fibromyalgia. I would not wish this on my worst enemy. On the best days you feel like you have the flu. On the worse, you feel like you have been run over by a semi truck and every muscle in your body screams out in pain.

I think Keats had a glimpse of the truth. What we find beautiful, indeed LEADS to truth, but not is entirely in itself THE truth. Just a beacon, on the path TO truth, a light to show us that we are indeed upon the correct path to THE truth.

"I am certain of nothing but of the holiness of the Heart's affections and the truth of Imagination - What the imagination seizes as Beauty must be truth - whether it existed before or not - for I have the same idea of all our passions as of love: they are all, in their sublime, creative of essential beauty."
--John Keats

I guess that is enough of a glimpse... just a small part of what goes on in MY head most of the time. Lol

Some may think me crazy, or insane. But I assure you I am not. I have been tested. LOL! 

[youtube]-uJ61jgFCMM[/youtube]

Good night ST, thank you for letting me hang out here and share with you all.


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## JohnnyLee (Feb 13, 2011)

zong said:


> Flash!! after an hour of pushing the refresh button every 3 or 4 seconds, I declare myself the king of staying up late and getting up early. If you stay up late and get up late it don't count. And if you get up early but go to bed early, it don't count. And Ramalamalamalamalama Ding Dong is as good a name as Jelly.
> 
> Llarry the llama: "Llook out Llarry!! It's the llandllord!!"
> 
> My mitochondria are angry


Sorry dude, you loose! lol :nanner:

I was busy crafting an intellectual bit for you to read. I am here.


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## JohnnyLee (Feb 13, 2011)

Hmm, well, guess if I am here by myself, then I should at least listen to some tunes.

[youtube]FNrQOUtXYOo[/youtube]


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## JohnnyLee (Feb 13, 2011)

[youtube]YwaiYWOin_M[/youtube]


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## JohnnyLee (Feb 13, 2011)

[youtube]sT1DdO3SISg[/youtube]


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## JohnnyLee (Feb 13, 2011)

Nice trip down memory lane. Hard to think it was about 20 years ago?? wow.

[youtube]uAE6Il6OTcs[/youtube]


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## JohnnyLee (Feb 13, 2011)

[youtube]Nco_kh8xJDs[/youtube]


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## JohnnyLee (Feb 13, 2011)

[youtube]MS91knuzoOA[/youtube]


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## JohnnyLee (Feb 13, 2011)

Oh, and here is your unicorn Mav....


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## JohnnyLee (Feb 13, 2011)

TGIF people.

[youtube]CxKWTzr-k6s[/youtube]


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## JohnnyLee (Feb 13, 2011)

[youtube]JfhsRIDh1RQ[/youtube]


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## Zephaniah (Mar 16, 2010)

Junior Samples
Samples Sales
Number BR549
Call now


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

Zephaniah said:


> Junior Samples
> Samples Sales
> Number BR549
> Call now


See? Part of that 86. I told you, Zong!!! Lol.


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## sherry in Maine (Nov 22, 2007)

yeah yeah Jr Samples, yeah I remember him--sorry if I dont remember the 'thing' about his lack of reading skills . .. . . 
by the way the guy playing the cop also had a gig as 'the great Mazeppa' on late night TV in Tulsa OK. . . .. he was the horror movie host. Cant remember the channel.


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

Quote: JohnnyLee: ...I think Keats had a glimpse of the truth. *What we find beautiful, indeed LEADS to truth, but not is entirely in itself THE truth.* Just a beacon, on the path TO truth, a light to show us that we are indeed upon the correct path to THE truth.

"I am certain of nothing but of the holiness of the Heart's affections and the truth of Imagination - What the imagination seizes as Beauty must be truth - whether it existed before or not - for I have the same idea of all our passions as of love: they are all, in their sublime, creative of essential beauty."
--John Keats...

Not crazy JL. just a traveler on the path to wisdom. Excellent stuff from Keats!

Alot of truisms floating around out there. Maybe too many. I don't think there's one "umbrella" truth. Like beauty, they're in the eye of the beholder. One I like is that true happiness and satisfaction come from the journey, the doing. After all, when we attain a goal, do we not look around for the next one?

To that end, I decided to work on the way I (personally) choose to make my journey. 

CHOICES

I will follow my moral compass toward humility, honesty, and industry, 
with clarity of thought, composure, and accountability to guide my steps.

Patience with discretion will be my watchword. 
Ever aware that I have two ears and one mouth, I will balance their use accordingly, 
always embracing fellowship with good humor.

I will strive for the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, 
the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.​
Lofty goals for one given to...excitability. But hey, I got the rest of my road through life to enjoy working on them.:thumb:


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## Judy in IN (Nov 28, 2003)

Zong, I know a single lady that makes cheese, soap, butchers her own pigs, cans, heats with wood, etc. 

Problem is, she has a horrible picker. She hasn't been able to pick a man who isn't physically abusive, so she's given up on the man project.


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## Guest (Aug 24, 2012)

Maybe she could just send the cheese in the mail? and I could send her something, maybe some canned fruit. I got like a hundred pints more than I'll eat, but sure could use 20 pounds or so of cheese. Ahh, well, guess that wouldn't work either, the USPS would be the beneficiary of that trade.


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## sherry in Maine (Nov 22, 2007)

depending on what kind of cheese it is that she makes, perhaps she could ups it.


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## trish4prez (Jul 9, 2006)




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## momof2 (Mar 28, 2003)

trish4prez said:


>


Take that Mav... you are gonna be dating a rhino!


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## Guest (Aug 24, 2012)

Some of them rhinoceroses are as big as an opera singer!!!


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

I have a structured setelment, but I need cash now. Call JO Comless OU812


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## NewGround (Dec 19, 2010)

Wait br549, that's my cell number... Not the phone... oh, never mind...


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

I'm not worried they got two horns no women with two horns


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## momof2 (Mar 28, 2003)

maverickxxx said:


> I'm not worried they got two horns no women with two horns


No... only some have 2 horns. You need to study up on Rhinos sometime soon. Most have 1 horn just like the infamous unicorn that really does exist... I have heard one so I know they are real.


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

Hey, I'm happy when someone is horny. Anybody. You all are arguing over the silly things.


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

Raven, you should be extremely happy since a lot of folks are that way.


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

Terri in WV said:


> Raven, you should be extremely happy since a lot of folks are that way.


Yeah, horny homesteaders that aren't within a bootie call drive. Lol.


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## Tommyice (Dec 5, 2010)

NewGround said:


> Wait br549, that's my cell number... Not the phone... oh, never mind...


Cell No. br549? Not br495?:smack So I guess you never received the soap on a rope I sent?


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## Tommyice (Dec 5, 2010)

Raven12 said:


> Yeah, horny homesteaders that aren't within a bootie call drive. Lol.


New bumper sticker: _Single Homesteaders Git It Done Alone_.


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