# single, but not available



## lazyBum (Feb 27, 2012)

My brother tried setting me up at a wedding. He said he promised he would find me a single woman there, and here she is. Caught the poor girl completely by surprise. She looked pretty embarrassed, she probably would've been less embarrassed if she coughed and ripped a big one. I asked if he checked to see if she was willing first. Then she said she was single, but not available. Which most likely means I'm too ugly, or boring, or creepy, or any other adjective women have used to reject me. It would've been nice if she lied and said she had a boyfriend. It usually doesn't bother me much that women don't like me, but I hate getting rejected when I'm not even trying.


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## NewGround (Dec 19, 2010)

Could be she's abstaining... But I would've preferred a believable lie myself as well...


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Lazy, maybe she really isn't available. I am saying that to guys as well and it isn't because they aren't good looking or anything. It is just because I am tired of the BS that comes with it. So don't knock yourself down, because you really just don't know what has happened to her in her past, or what could even be going on right now for that matter.


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## sherry in Maine (Nov 22, 2007)

maybe she's just tired . . . might not have anything to do with you . . .


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## chamoisee (May 15, 2005)

I am single but not available. This is not an insult to anyone who might be interested...but some of them do take it that way. I am not emotionally available and to get involved with someone I cannot love or even enjoy being with would not be fair to the other party...or to myself. 

Try not to take it personally.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Cham. Every of your words would apply to me also


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

I think it is natural to take things personally.... especially in such situations but I don't think it is useful or even accurate..... we never really know what is going on in someones life or mind. Please don't allow it to get to you....it is tricky to do but when I get like that I try to "change channels in my head".....self talk can make or break me.... I don't want to feel broken.


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## Shrek (May 1, 2002)

If she was a bridesmaid she may have been wary of a guy who sees a woman in one of those dresses and doesn't :run:


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## lazyBum (Feb 27, 2012)

Maybe she's too much like me and doesn't like being set up with people she doesn't know.


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## lazyBum (Feb 27, 2012)

She was the photographer. The maid of honor is quite beautiful too though.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

"Not available" covers a wide range of stuff that isn't anyone's business and has nothing to do with you.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSReSGe200A&feature=relmfu]Rub Some Bacon on It - YouTube[/ame]


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## chamoisee (May 15, 2005)

She might also...be gay. Just another example of something that would make her unavailable which would not be a reflection on you. Many gay people live very quiet lives and hardly anyone knows...


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## nancy237 (May 29, 2008)

I would have answered that way too. I lost my husband a year ago and I am not ready to date..I would not feel the need to explain all that though.

I would not take it personal.


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## lazyBum (Feb 27, 2012)

vicker said:


> Rub Some Bacon on It - YouTube


I wasn't sure where to rub the bacon, so I ate it. I do feel better.



chamoisee said:


> She might also...be gay. Just another example of something that would make her unavailable which would not be a reflection on you. Many gay people live very quiet lives and hardly anyone knows...


So I made her gay? I must be worse off than I thought.


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## Bandit (Oct 5, 2008)

" So I made her gay? I must be worse off than I thought. "
She isn't implying that You made Her Gay . Just that when She met You She might of started considering It . ROFLOL


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## Bandit (Oct 5, 2008)

Lazy
Just chill and take life one day at a time , You will bump into someone when You are Not looking and least expect it .


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## Terri (May 10, 2002)

Lazybum, after my FIL passed on my MIL simply decided she was done with romance. She was still a fairly young woman, she simply decided that she was not interested in another relationship. Ever.

The end.

"Single but not available" covers a huge mount of territory: there is the gal who has been burned and is taking a breather, the folks who prefer the same sex, the ones who, like my MIL, have decided that they are no longer interested, and so forth.

Don't take it personally, your friend REALLY should have asked!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Mom is an incorrigible matchmaker, by the way. She just gets the targets side by side on some excuse or another, and figures if they are going to hit it off then they will. And, they usually have NO! idea what she is doing!


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## haypoint (Oct 4, 2006)

chamoisee said:


> She might also...be gay. Just another example of something that would make her unavailable which would not be a reflection on you. Many gay people live very quiet lives and hardly anyone knows...


All too often I've had people tell me they were gay when I don't need to know it. Too many "in your face" gay. I don't announce what gender I have sex with on the first hand shake and prefer they simply let me guess. 

Not being available can be all sorts of things. Gay, not gay but not wanting a relationship, dating a guy but it's complicated and I don't want to go through explaining it to you, waiting for a guy to get his divorce finalized, but keeping the relationship on the down low, weddings are places where every single person is expected to pair up and she's not putting up with that act.:nono:

Maybe she doesn't want to waste her free week on eHarmony in a carnal experiment to see if you can carry on an intelligent conversation after sex.
:shrug:


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

vicker said:


> Rub Some Bacon on It - YouTube


Bacon is the new duct tape cure all....LOL

Thanks for the link vick...I love it!!

[youtube]wSReSGe200A[/youtube]


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

Dating is the same as fishing. You have to keep putting yourself out there and roll with the punches. Cindilu, I wouldn't give up so easily. I don't think you should tell guys that. 

I don't know what happened to me in the last week (I am blaming all the sappy threads) but I am ready to find someone again.


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

If she was photographer she prolly has this happen everyweekend. A couple times an even week cause I'm sure yours wasn't only family with a single guy that needs date.


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Raven12 said:


> Dating is the same as fishing. You have to keep putting yourself out there and roll with the punches. Cindilu, I wouldn't give up so easily. I don't think you should tell guys that.
> 
> I don't know what happened to me in the last week (I am blaming all the sappy threads) but I am ready to find someone again.


Raven, I have had some pretty bad experiences lately, enough to make me take a really huge leap back into being in my own quiet zone. I am not mean to guys when they ask, just isn't working for me right now is all.


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## Guest (Jun 13, 2012)

cindilu said:


> Raven, I have had some pretty bad experiences lately, enough to make me take a really huge leap back into being in my own quiet zone. I am not mean to guys when they ask, just isn't working for me right now is all.



Buck up, young whippersnapper-ette! Don't make me break out the psycho-sexual babbletalk I've been learning.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Lazy, do not get so bent out of shape over this. It sounds like she was trying to put a shield up to protect herself. Sort of like: "I am single but do not harass me for my number, bother me, or get get stupid drunk at the wedding and think I am your girlfriend and then try to make out with me or drag me out on the dance floor for some sloppy-drunk Saturday Night Fever Love-dance scene in front of 200 strangers."


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## Vickie44 (Jul 27, 2010)

Hey Zong What are you counting down to ?


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## Guest (Jun 13, 2012)

You're pretty observant, Vickie. Its the summer solstice, when the northern hemisphere is the most possibly tilted toward the sun. Until that moment (June 20, 7:09 PM, EDT) we're headed *into* summer. after that moment, we're headed *out of* summer. It's some weird moment in time that we don't actually feel for weeks. For instance, you can bet your bottom dollar that it will feel a lot more like summer 2 months from that day than it feels on that day. A good, real life measuring point(as opposed to New Years day, or any other arbitrary day). Also in people's life, a lot of things you intersect on a given day will not be felt immediately, but the full impact will be a couple months later. I like summer and winter solstice and consider them the perfect days to make big changes that will not have an immediate effect. In such a manner, I remain close to nature. However, if I was *more* in tune with nature, you could throw some chicken manure on me, soak me down every so often, leave me outside in the blazing sun, I would bear fruit. Maybe one day..... just not quite yet.


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

The summer solstice means only one thing - Girls Night Out! That is what Cindilu needs. Zong, you have to come with!


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

zong said:


> Buck up, young whippersnapper-ette! Don't make me break out the psycho-sexual babbletalk I've been learning.


I am bucking up, to work that is and getting my garden and yard together, LOL. Does that count?


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## Vickie44 (Jul 27, 2010)

I like it for the longest span of daylight . I just hope that when you bear fruit its not plums , you have enough of those!


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

A garden party? Work with me, people.


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Raven12 said:


> The summer solstice means only one thing - Girls Night Out! That is what Cindilu needs. Zong, you have to come with!


Raven, you are funny, I just read this comment. If I did a girls night out I would prolly get myself into trouble. Zong, ya coming along to keep me safe?


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## Guest (Jun 13, 2012)

Nobody is safe with me around. I just got my internet degree in laser surgery and the free starter set of lasers. The really bad thing is, when I signed up for the course, I could have swore it said "Lazier Surgery" Oh well. Who's first?? Got something you want laser-boiled away right quick-like?? Nose transplant, maybe?


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

I can handle a garden party, I would be safe there, LOL.


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

cindilu said:


> Raven, you are funny, I just this comment. *If I did a girls night out I would prolly get myself into trouble.* Zong, ya coming along to keep me safe?


That is the point, isn't it?


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Raven12 said:


> That is the point, isn't it?


Thank-you for making me laugh today, I really needed that, LOL. 

Weird but I am going to go fishing with someone from the town I graduated from. Good looking guy, older then me by a bit I am sure. Been on each others facebook for a long time now, know all the same people. BUT, it is a fishing trip ONLY, so don't get anyone's hopes up.


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

That is how it starts. There doesn't always have to be fireworks and it doesn't have to be serious right off the bat. Make lots of friends with potential and see where it goes. Have some fun with it. Hey, you get to spend a few hours with a male who isn't afraid to get a little dirty. Not bad.


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## Tommyice (Dec 5, 2010)

And then there's the possibility of falling in the water. Then when he tries to help you out, just pull him in there with you. 

So what you are wearing? Er, I mean baiting your hook with?


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

cindilu said:


> I can handle a garden party, I would be safe there, LOL.


Who's garden?? That might make a big difference.


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

Tommyice said:


> And then there's the possibility of falling in the water. Then when he tries to help you out, just pull him in there with you.
> 
> So what you are wearing? Er, I mean baiting your hook with?


Good question.


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

vicker said:


> Who's garden?? That might make a big difference.


Are you hosting?


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

No way! I don't want my petunias mashed.


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

You guys are cracking me up this morning. Which is good because I really needed a good laugh. 

Who knows what I would be wearing, should I pay attention to that sort of thing?

I know how to bait my own hook, it is bad that I would want to do that for myself, or just let the guy do it? BTW, I really love Power Bait for some reason. 

Petunias and Vicker's garden is where the party is it seems. He is just waiting for us to have fun over there, are ya feeling the love yet?


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Oh and for the record it is JUST a fishing trip.


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## Tommyice (Dec 5, 2010)

cindilu said:


> You guys are cracking me up this morning. Which is good because I really needed a good laugh.
> 
> Who knows what I would be wearing, should I pay attention to that sort of thing?
> 
> ...


I see you got your "Honorary Blonde Club" membership card in the mail today. Honey you totally missed it. YOU are the hook.


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## emdeengee (Apr 20, 2010)

Your brother is an idiot. This was set up for failure.


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Tommyice said:


> I see you got your "Honorary Blonde Club" membership card in the mail today. Honey you totally missed it. YOU are the hook.


Boy, no kidding on that, I just reread this. Trust me, if I was the hook I would be the one thrown into the lake. LOL. I am not trying to hook the guy either, JUST go fishing.


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## Guest (Jun 13, 2012)

Well, Cindilu, If you really want to go fishing, the best place is plenty of fish. And change your name to Candilu.


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

zong said:


> Well, Cindilu, If you really want to go fishing, the best place is plenty of fish. And change your name to Candilu.


Ha, I am on plenty of fish, but it is a very very scary site so far, horror stories could be made from there.


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## Guest (Jun 13, 2012)

Wait a minute, you're not Hot_little_Gertrude_1942_you_know_you_want_me are you??? If so, I'm sorry about the pictures.


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Ha, you are wishing, LOL.

More like chubby mama is needing some love. NOT. 

I am telling ya, a scary place for sure.


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

cindilu said:


> Petunias and Vicker's garden is where the party is it seems. He is just waiting for us to have fun over there, are ya feeling the love yet?


Rumor has it that Vicker has bourbon but you didn't hear it from me.


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## Guest (Jun 13, 2012)

If you see anything from Studly_Dooright_I'm_yours_for_4.75 just delete it without opening, OK?.


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Raven12 said:


> Rumor has it that Vicker has bourbon but you didn't hear it from me.


Oh yeah, party is at Vicker's house and his petunias can just deal with it.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

Oh Lordy, I guess I better fence off the petunias and clean out the birdbath.


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

vicker said:


> Oh Lordy, I guess I better fence off the petunias and clean out the birdbath.


Ya know it, so whatcha cooking and what are we getting for drinks?


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

Well, I reckon I could cook a colt on the pit and y'all can byob. The birdbath will be clean too


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

vicker said:


> Well, I reckon I could cook a colt on the pit and y'all can byob. The birdbath will be clean too


Ewww, I am passing on the party at your house.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

Well, you could bring some fried chicken and maybe some whoopee pie  hehe


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

A colt on the pit?


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Raven12 said:


> A colt on the pit?


I was afraid to ask.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

Blah! I thought it might sound european


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## Guest (Jun 14, 2012)

I love "European" because it's like "You're a peein' " Unless you say European as in Utopian. I also love "urinalysis" As in "Where am I?" "Urinalysis restaurant" Don't let me get started on "peon"


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

vicker said:


> Blah! I thought it might sound european


PETA is going to ban me from placing too many HT complaints.


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

What I want to know is how the bird bath fits into all of this?


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

Some of you need therapy...just sayin!


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

Tractor therapy works best for me


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

Alcohol is good as well!


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Ya'll know you are not supposed to mix driving a tractor with alcohol, you will mash Vicker's petunia's for sure now and he will never ask us back.


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## lazyBum (Feb 27, 2012)

emdeengee said:


> Your brother is an idiot. This was set up for failure.


He just thinks I deserve a good woman. At least he has great taste in women. And its better that he fails to set me up with a pretty woman with a great personality than to succeed to set me up with somebody I'm not attracted too.


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## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

lazyBum said:


> Then she said she was single, but not available. Which most likely means I'm too ugly, or boring, or creepy, or any other adjective women have used to reject me. It would've been nice if she lied and said she had a boyfriend. It usually doesn't bother me much that women don't like me, but I hate getting rejected when I'm not even trying.


Well I hope you didn't do what the last guy did to me when I turned him down and it wasn't because I wasn't single. That guy had a complete public meltdown badgering me as to a "real" reason. If I didn't have one before, I sure did then.

People have their reasons, sometimes they aren't good ones, sometimes they are...but certainly most reasons people aren't going to divulge to a complete stranger.

So at least you know this, she's honest about it...she COULD have lied because you don't know a thing about her, that would have been the easy way out. That way if ever you run across her again and you happen to ask her to a movie and she agrees, then you know she really probably is still single and possibly available.

No one likes being put on the spot, caught off guard, in front of people.

I say watch out for the ones that are extremely eager lol...they are the ones with three kids, two baby daddies, a bun in the oven looking for a baby daddy and three other "boyfriends" LMAO


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