# Dealing with crowds / noise



## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

I don't know if it's my age setting in, or part and parcel to my left of center life:

But I cannot hack crowds.
I am fine at work, when it's busy and lot's of folks are in the bar / restaurant.
That's no problem.
But going to a shopping mall, grocery store, etc when they are busy takes my breath away. Couple that with the exorbitant amount of noise......
I simply unwind.

I took the kids shopping today at a couple stores (like Target) and the mall.
I felt like I was gonna come out of my skin.
When we got home, the kids stated playing Guitar Hero (a music game) and I can't hack the noise......It's making me insane.

BUT

I don't want to leave the room, cause I want to hang out with them.

HOW do I get this to stop??
I hate how it robs me of 'freedom' and makes me feel so overwhelmed.
Do you have any suggestions?

I did some deep breathing while I was at the mall, and it help, a wee bit...


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## FarmChix (Mar 3, 2013)

I'm in the same industry as you, but I am the salesperson who knocks on your door. I love being out all day in the restaurants and meeting people, but when I am not working....I want absolutely no part of it! I cannot stand the mall. I don't like shopping. I prefer to stay around the house and keep to myself. Part of me thinks it is the industry we are in. We overdose on the crowd interactions then feel like we have to be completely alone before the next injection. I feel your pain!


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## Lisa in WA (Oct 11, 2004)

Get your hormones checked. And google estrogen dominance. Progesterone may be your friend.


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

Just did in May.
Thyroid, Hormones, Insulin all super groovy!


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## majik (Feb 23, 2005)

I "function" very well in a busy work environment. Most people would describe me as friendly and maybe even outgoing. The truth is, I am very shy and introverted. The effort of working every day leaves me exhausted and stressed. I need to go home and recoup/reclaim my energy. I rarely go out in the evening, and almost never on Sundays since Monday is back to work for me. The exhaustion from performing as "normal" each day also makes me anxious.

Anyway, I have chosen my work, which I am good at and enjoy, but I also have to limit my time in the world as a result (malls, public events, parties, etc. are generally not my favourites).

If I can recommend a book- "Quiet: the Power of Introverts" by Susan Cain http://www.thepowerofintroverts.com/ I found it very affirming. Turns out, there's nothing "wrong" with me, lol!


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## Harry Chickpea (Dec 19, 2008)

Guess I would need to get my hormones checked as well. I've guided crowds of hundreds of people at theatres pretty easily. Get me in a store near Christmas time and the crowds will drive me nuts. People give off energy, pheromones, vibes - whatever you want to call it.


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## Helena (May 10, 2002)

Yes..agree.. I am out going and enjoy speaking with people when I am out and about and when i was working enjoyed doing so...but when I am home I cannot deal with noise especially the background noise from radios and TV's. Like to hear the quiet and outside nature "noises". I will read the book mentioned...and I thought I was strange..


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## Nyxchik (Aug 14, 2012)

While you are trying to find the root cause of this, you may find some sort of nervine helpful. you can drink oatstraw infusion daily (plus it has other cool benefits for us ladies), or if you'd rather take something as you need it, passionflower is always my go-to tincture when I feel frazzled or anxious. A small amount calms me enough but doesn't make me sleepy, while a larger dose helps me relax enough to sleep. 
I feel like a passionflower evangelist... I think the last several posts I've made here have been about it. Definitely one of my favorite herbs. 
~nyx


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## [email protected] (Feb 24, 2005)

I hate crowds and Walmart is torture for me. I go twice a year at most and only out of necessity like when my mom needs me to pick up her prescriptions. Other shopping is tolerable if the crowds aren't bad. I like grocery shopping but I won't go to a grocery store on their senior discount day because that flares my anxiety. I also try to avoid stores after school lets out so there are less children on the loose. Call the stores you need to shop at and find out their least busy days/hours. It might help.

Also, buy some noise canceling headphones. A friend just got some for her disabled son and their lives have improved dramatically. Noise overwhelms him and he starts to scream so if he can't hear the noise everyone is much happier. 

I would go out to the garden during Guitar Hero sessions and hang out with the kids when they are doing something quieter but the headphones might work for you. I can't have a conversation with anyone playing video games anyway.


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## unregistered358967 (Jul 17, 2013)

Here's how I cope:

I choose to shop when I know it will be less crowded and I plan when I go to the mall..knowing where I'll park to get in and out fast.

I use my Ipod too..blocks out a lot.

Sometimes I realize I just don't feel like being around people and I either go grocery shopping really late at night, or I have been known to use Peapod or some other online store. For me, it's not just the noise but not being able to control the din. I want noise on my terms, if that makes sense.


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## Ardie/WI (May 10, 2002)

I tune it out somehow otherwise I'd be that wild ol' woman with a shotgun shooting out the speakers playing canned music in stores! With people, I imagine using an electric cattle prod and I smile.

It's kind of like being in forums. I tune out certain people/subjects and simply don't "see" them!


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## Bret (Oct 3, 2003)

shhhhh.


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## wes917 (Sep 26, 2011)

I don't have a problem with crowds, but I work in a noisy industry. I have found on my drive home I turn off the radio and just enjoy the quite. It helps me unwind, especially this time of year as I find the cool air relaxing. I think on days like this where the shopping crowd gets to you, before spending time with the kids take 5-10 mins and do what relaxes you, it might be just the little break you need.


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## Danaus29 (Sep 12, 2005)

I was told it's a form of claustrophobia. I avoid stores when they are busy if at all possible. Yes, it affects me too. I'm so bad that only 2 or 3 hours shopping wears me out so bad that I can't function the rest of the day.


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## sand flea (Sep 1, 2013)

Hubby's been afraid he'd have to bail me out, on several occasions back when this was me for months and months. For whatever reason, my fight/flight response was hyperactive for a year or two. (I know why now; just won't bore you with long, agonizing story). 

What helped a whole bunch was pretending I had a force field around me to keep all the yuck out. The stuff that Harry was talking about - people who are moving around in their own little bubble, putting out negativity in 360 degrees, as if they didn't even see you there before they ran over you with their cart, while trying to manage a toddler with one hand, and talk on the cell with the other... yeah. It still exhausts me, but I no longer have the uncontrollable urge to walk up and smack them and ask where they learned to act like that. :hammer:

The other thing that helped was upping my confidence in my physical ability to defend myself, and my sensory situational awareness. I know when there's someone behind me, as I feel them... even if I don't see them. Martial arts ninja kind of stuff. 

And it still bothers me. When I get home, I need X amount of time to recover. Some folks are simply hypersensitive to too much sensory input; and for an individual it can vary a lot too. Add on to that, the fact that I can't handle scents (I start hacking and sneezing) and Walmart is like intentionally torturing myself!


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