# Do All Guys Do This??



## Laura (May 10, 2002)

Do a drive by on woman's home when they're interested in her? Why do they do that?

New guy I haven't met in person just did this.


When word got out my ex was gone, I had pickups parking in the night on my property perimeters. Some of them were like clockwork. I talked to the deputy and said I would start taking taillights out with a crowbar and call them in as erratic drivers with a taillight out. I put that out to a couple of men who denied they were doing it. It STOPPED!

They kept their pickups rolling. :happy2: I got used to the pickup parade, some of them are friends keeping an eye out for me. I'll talk to them out on the road. Some of are creepy married guys, some I don't know. It's slowed down quite a bit because of Hayseed and PrairieMan, and logging equipment parked out front for awhile. And I terrorized a poacher who kept pulling onto my driveway to look at elk tracks. Word gets around.....

It's a private road with no outlet. I sit at the top of a /2 mile straight stretch of 24' wide awesome concrete road. These men are easy to spot doing the lookyloo on my place.

Okay guys, please explain to me why you do this, I need help with the reality check. I find it both flattering and alarming. I got used to boys doing this for my daughters, and know their reactions depending on the boy.

But we're mature adults. 

I thought it was a local thing, but new Guy didn't grow up here and lives 50 miles away. How do I know it was new guy? It was the make and model of the pickup he was doing a brake job on today, and I've never seen it out here before. The driver was farmer.

I just got weirded out.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Sounds strange to me. is this some kind of Alaskan mating costume?


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## doingitmyself (Jul 30, 2013)

:umno: Because they are "guys" and not men? I would guess they are sorting themselves out of the possible dating pool for you. Maybe something in the water where you live? 

Men don't do stuff like that, at least the men i know don't. We introduce ourselves, ask for your number, call immediately, and ask you for some time to get to know you. :hobbyhors

We also don't get your number from your friend to text you and ask for a date. Maybe a stalker, or a freak does that i'm not sure. Maybe you attract that type?? LOL I'm sorry i had to say that!!!! Just kidding about that, seriously just teasing!!! :cowboy:


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## arcticow (Oct 8, 2006)

No, all guys don't.


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## viggie (Jul 17, 2009)

That is so creepy!


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

Ummmm, definitely NOT normal behavior!!!

Makes me think someone posted your address on the bathroom wall saying "For a good time, go to 5763 Elm Avenue!!!"

Sorry you are having to deal with such weirdos. Why would a man think any woman would be interested in him if he behaved that way? Desperate much???


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## CountryWannabe (May 31, 2004)

That is so creepy. I think late-night target practice may be in order. Something loud. With a large flash.

Mary


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

"Okay guys, please explain to me why you do this, I need help with the reality check."

Seriously?... You really think any guy that would do that would explain his reasoning? Kinda like asking for an answer in French while speaking Lithuanian to a Mandarin. I don't know. I learned how to use the telephone pretty early. Maybe they're socially challenged? Throw some cats at 'em.


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## foxfiredidit (Apr 15, 2003)

Why are "they" doing it, is definitely the better question. Sounds foolhardy to me.


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## frogmammy (Dec 8, 2004)

Well, if I have an interview for a job, I drive past the interview address a day or two before, just so I can find it on time. Might be why a stranger to the area would do a drive-by, wouldn't want to be late.

Mon


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

Never,,no,,,except maybe just your house,,,sometimes,,I guess,,,sorta,,maybe,,,,,uh,,,


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Sounds like good target practice to me. Opps I missed officer, didn't see them, honest.


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## copperkid3 (Mar 18, 2005)

First off . . . your title drew me in and I was thinking out loud:

"Do all guys do this?" Why of course; peeing while standing up!

But then I opened the thread . . . and also realized that there

were probably exceptions in my preverted case as well.

Let me see if I'm understanding this one particular character -

Are you stating that he's the mechanic that was working 

on the farmer's truck & then took it out for a "test drive"

50 miles over to your place to 'check the brakes'?!!!

That is creepy and highly irregular and I'd imagine that

neither his boss, nor the customer farmer would be at 

all happy if made aware of the situation - if nothing more

than one is paying his help a minimum of 2 hours driving

time to do some "stalking" & the customer is providing the

fuel, as well as the unnecessary wear & tear to his vehicle!

Might want to pass that information on to those aforementioned

parties who would likely be interested, as well as the county sheriff. 

Somebody then, will have a LOT of explaining to do. 

And you will have gotten the word out too.

Of course if I misunderstood, and you really 

were talking about the farmer doing the sit & watch . . . 

forget about it - he's probably harmless; just an old coot hoping for a peek.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

I wish I was stalked by a man on a tractor, He'd be in my cellar!!!....LOL


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## simi-steading (Sep 27, 2012)

Go buy and AK, SKS or AR.. Be sure to get a few 30 round magazines.. 

Go set some watermelons or even tin cans out.. Load up... take the gun out and start unloading as fast as you can.. Repeat.. rinse.... repeat again... 

They'll stop hanging around..


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## farmgal (Nov 12, 2005)

They sound immature. I have seen some weird guys, who I know bug me if I see them out, go by my farm and they dont have any reason to be going down this back road. Its very creepy indeed. 

I hate it when a guy see's me get into my 5/4 ton diesel camo army truck at the store or somewhere and then they say, "oh, I know where you live, Ive seen that truck".. Uhg.:runforhills:.! it isnt so camouflage apparently...and it really gives me away...I should carry a big shot gun in my back window, so they can see that loud an clear...lol


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## Twp.Tom (Dec 29, 2010)

:shrugeople definitely have some peculiar mating habits , but sitting outside your house is just plain weird. In a city , this may not seem so odd , but out here in the country , loitering on a twp. road will get ya "noticed". The only thing I can say ,is , they don't seem too smart.


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## lonelytree (Feb 28, 2008)

City Bound said:


> Sounds strange to me. is this some kind of Alaskan mating costume?


 :facepalm:


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## arcticow (Oct 8, 2006)

Maybe stock a few of those 12 ga. rounds that flash and then the projectile cracker pops? Fired into the air, of course. Just for effect...


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## Jim-mi (May 15, 2002)

They beat me to it but my thought was/is Pull a joe idiot bidden thing and take your "double barrel" shot gun and pop off a couple rounds. And if you can -safely- get some what close than the louder the better. 


And please, If I had the opportunity to meet you, it sure wouldn't be with a "drive by" first.

Be well . .be careful


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## Darren (May 10, 2002)

Get a metal sign made up saying No Trespassing. Before you put it up down at the road, prop it up against a hillside with the lettered side away from you and shoot it several times with a rifle from a distance or closer with a hand gun. 

That way anyone with any sense at all will look at the sign once it's up and recognize that the jagged edges of the holes are pointing towards them. If they're going to creep you out, might as well return the favor.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

Knock it off with the shooting stuff, prison is unappealing to me. I know what a legal shoot is in my state. I am looking for intelligent discourse.

No, new guy didn't stop, and it was mid afternoon in daylight. He has my phone number and we've logged the hours. We have mutual friends. Knowing where I live is easy. I could easily find him too, if I wanted. 

Nobody parks anymore. Most of those were married vultures who decided they didn't want to risk their taillights, an incident with the deputies out at the junction and explaining it all to their wives.

NO males EVER admit to the drive-by thing, but a bunch of you been doing it since you were 12. I raised beautiful daughters, I take notice. DD23 is marrying one of the boys who did this when they were kids. It's not a character issue. I understand why adolescents do it, to get the girls' attention because they're too chicken to cold call. 

Since you guys are of the male sex all sharing the same basic brain chemistry, even if you aren't ones to drive by women's homes, you might offer insight of the male psych why other adult males do.


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

Laura. Swap the body parts and ask the same question. You'd get pretty much the same answers that you have so far. I know it's serious for you. For what it's worth, I'm not just hacking on you. But really, it's just common sense to me. 

Fatal Attraction (the reverse of your issue), like all the other books, movies,...etc. that deal with stalking, didn't just pop out of someone's imagination. You said you find it both flattering and alarming. Why don't you just put the ball in his court. Ask him. You're certainly bold enough to do that. The most important thing is to address the alarming part of your reaction.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

I've asked enough of these men to know they deny it and look for a weasel hole. Even those who I walk up to out on the road get all flustered then come up with a lame excuse for being there. Even my most trusted guy friends won't explain WHY.

That's why I asked here. 

So it must be a backwoods hillbilly thing to satisfy their prey drive? Scoping out the assets? Needing to be seen? Hoping to get a peek at me or my crowbar? Hoping I'll run out and chase them down the road and invite them in for tea? 

Frogmammy is the only one who offered a rational explanation, but that how we women are. Checking the route, time and destination so they won't be late if they ever get an invitation?

Those are only guesses. Understanding what motivates these men would help me address the issue. 

Nobody has crossed the line into the legal definition of stalking, nobody broke laws, nobody gets out of their pickups. My dogs see to that.

You women in more populated areas, more road traffic, more anonymous people, how would you know if men were doing frequent drive-byes on you?


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## dkhern (Nov 30, 2012)

only answer i have is it takes all kinds im just gald i aint one of them


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## davel745 (Feb 2, 2009)

Fowler said:


> I wish I was stalked by a man on a tractor, He'd be in my cellar!!!....LOL


I am going to bring my tractor by for a look see soon.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

First thing I was thinking was that they were looking for easy sex. Second thing I thought of when you mentioned the hunter was that they were looking to see what they could steal. Third thing I was thinking, and god forbid it, they were rapists.

All and all it could be innocent. Just be prepared.


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## farmrbrown (Jun 25, 2012)

It's a primitive instinct from long ago that we're just born with.
We like to hunt.....
From a woman's perspective, I can appreciate the fearful part of it, no one likes to be the "huntee".:run:
OTOH, consider the complimentary part of it.
If you weren't trophy material, they wouldn't have bothered tracking you so hard.:thumb:


And just a note. It's not exclusively a male thing.
One night I was in a local pub that was in my territory for decades, sipping a cold one and shooting pool, like a deer in the woods.
Suddenly a huntress I've never seen before appeared directly across the bar and pulled me next to her using only one finger.
We met, we dated and have now been married 6 years.
Bagged and tagged and I never saw it coming, lol.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

City Bound said:


> First thing I was thinking was that they were looking for easy sex. Second thing I thought of when you mentioned the hunter was that they were looking to see what they could steal. Third thing I was thinking, and god forbid it, they were rapists.
> 
> All and all it could be innocent. Just be prepared.


 Nothing available for those kind. Cowdogs, tools and training, got it covered. I think a fair share of them were poachers who won't be back, promising they'd get the word out.

Townies don't drive all the way out here, it's too far. 12 miles. They aren't doing it. I think because I only show interest in men who live close to the ground or in the trees, it's a primitive expression, part of the strategy for game hunting. 

It's a theory, I'm still guessing.


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## Shrek (May 1, 2002)

Maybe they have read some of your online content and feel a need to do a little real life reconnaissance to answer real life questions they feel they have about you.

A local gal in our town often posts on her facebook and twitter thingie stuff wackier than a Alfred Hitchcock presents episode although in real life she is quite normal, many local guys write her off as a total wacko based on her online and social network presentation.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

I don't twit, FB is family. I know I am odd, Shrek. I'm sorry my question makes all you guys uncomfortable. I still want the answer.


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## MoonRiver (Sep 2, 2007)

Laura said:


> I don't twit, FB is family. I know I am odd, Shrek. I'm sorry my question makes all you guys uncomfortable. I still want the answer.


Boys do. Men don't.


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## doingitmyself (Jul 30, 2013)

Your question did not make me uncomfortable in any way. I answered you honestly. You did not accept my answer, or it seems get the one you wanted. 

I think everybody here is sorry this "stalking thing" is happening to you but none of us here are like that. We don't know what your looking for in an answer. We are not "all alike", just as you are not like Whoopie Goldberg.

I hope your holidays go well.


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## frogmammy (Dec 8, 2004)

Laura said:


> ...You women in more populated areas, more road traffic, more anonymous people, how would you know if men were doing frequent drive-byes on you?


I would know by looking out the window at all the neighbors standing in their doorways staring at the fools that kept driving up and down the street and didn't LIVE there. We kinda keep track of that sort of thing....

Mon


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## oregon woodsmok (Dec 19, 2010)

I remember high school boys doing casual drive-byes, hoping that the girl would be outside and they could stop and chat, since they just happened to be driving through the neighborhood. This was done concerning a girl that they had already established the start of a relationship with. I think the object was to not look too eager, because they "Just happened by accident" to encounter the girl they wanted to talk to.

Not very many of them did that, it was more common to arrange a "casual" encounter in the school hallways.

No male (or female) that I've ever known about went and parked at the end of a woman's driveway and just sat there. I find that creepy and more than a bit scary.

I'm suspecting that these are men who don't have 2 brain cells in total and are completely unaware about how their actions might be perceived by others.


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## doingitmyself (Jul 30, 2013)

^^^exactly^^^^


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## copperkid3 (Mar 18, 2005)

Laura said:


> I still want the answer.


+ + + + + + + + + 
Gotta go along with doityourself on this one. But I'm going to be

a bit harsher in my response. Your first (and subsequent explanations)

have lacked clarity and I as much as stated that, when I came up

with what I 'thought' you were trying to say, and it was ignored. 

So still no closer or wiser in knowing who was the 'mystery' man;

the farmer or the mechanic. . . or neither? 

So it would appear that you really don't want an "honest" answer 

from those of the male persuation; just a soapbox to ----, moan & groan about. 

I'm sorry that your view of the roadway outside your residence,

is cluttered with potential stalkers. Some of us would welcome such,

as it would be a BIG change from the winter doldrums!:boring:


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## Shrek (May 1, 2002)

Laura said:


> I don't twit, FB is family. I know I am odd, Shrek. I'm sorry my question makes all you guys uncomfortable. I still want the answer.


Doesn't make me uncomfortable. It's just a topic of discussion to which I offered some observation and potential reasoning.

Even if you only FB with family, if your family FBs or twitters with anyone locally you may be generally location marked and your online personality and possible actual location made available to those not on your family only contacts via those family members networking and conversation with those other than you.


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## MoonRiver (Sep 2, 2007)

When I was 12, I used to ride my bike by a girl's house who was rumored to walk in front of the window in her underwear.


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## Pops2 (Jan 27, 2003)

I'm going with dysfunctional Y chromosome in your neck of the woods.
Just thought of something that might make me do this, in daylight. If I was looking to get permission to hunt your property I might do a drive by to see if I could get some hints on what might improve my chances. But I would also approach you shortly thereafter with a full explanation. I might say something like "I drove through the area looking at properties to hunt, I would like to hunt x on your property. I noticed you have x, x, & x. Here's why I'm not a risk to x, x & x. I would be thrilled to help you out in return. I noticed you could use help with x, x & x. Here's how I can help with x, x & x."


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

Okay,,I'll come clean and answer you honestly,,,,,,,,,

Uh,,,,well,,,,Hmmm,,,,I forgot the question,,,so,,ummm,,,

Now that that's settled,,Let's go for Ice Cream...:rock:


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## rkintn (Dec 12, 2002)

You stated its weirding you out. At this point, it doesn't matter why. It needs to stop. Put the word out that any guy you find out had been doing this has less than a snowballs chance in Hades of ever talking to you AND that you are well armed, well trained and ready to protect yourself and your property. Trying to figure out why is a waste of time as the reasons are as likely as varied as the men doing the "stalking".


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

CK, I couldn't really respond to your post because your assumptions were off. New Guy Farmer is his own mechanic, driving his own rig. His drive-by rattled my cage because he's not part of the local circle of yahoos.

The other men who've been doing this for the past 3 years are mostly ones I already know, most have my phone number because I have/had working nonromantic relationships with them. It's not my online oddness that's attracting them. I'm odd in RL, and quite active in community volunteer activities. People ask where you live, I give the general answer QP. (pop. 200) We have a much lower population density, everyone is easy to find. 

I realize now how often I will tell somebody where someone else lives when they ask.

No, there is no clarity to my understanding, that's why I keep asking. I asked my trusted guy friends from the neighborhood who were aware of this WHY. Their eyes bugged and they stammered and never answered. These are men we've been stalking and tracking back and forth out in the woods for over a decade.

Men want sex. Duh.

Thank you FarmerBrown for your concise reasoning. I appreciate it.


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## Ardie/WI (May 10, 2002)

Men are strange.

I think those guys are just checking you out. Checking the territory. Seeing whose pick-up truck might be parked in your driveway. Checking out the competition. All for future reference.


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## Darren (May 10, 2002)

I still think you need to be more explicit. Maybe leave a couple of shotgun hulls out to weather a bit before you drop them down by the road.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

Darren said:


> I still think you need to be more explicit. Maybe leave a couple of shotgun hulls out to weather a bit before you drop them down by the road.


I think tapping taillights with my crowbar in the dark was explicit enough so nobody parks out there anymore. They keep it rolling and not too often. There's more than one Crazy B out here who confronts
people who don't belong.


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## Jim-mi (May 15, 2002)

I'm not the least bit uncomfortable . . . . 

But I am concerned that your general tone is that ALL of us guys are guilty.......

And that is just not so.......

And no one what so ever said to discharge a fire arm so as to injure or kill.....


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## big rockpile (Feb 24, 2003)

So Laura I pull up in your drive up to the house. Hey I'm interested in possibly taking you out would you be interested Saturday night?

:shrug: Ok what do you do?

big rockpile


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

Laura said:


> I've asked enough of these men to know they deny it and look for a weasel hole. Even those who I walk up to out on the road get all flustered then come up with a lame excuse for being there. Even my most trusted guy friends won't explain WHY.
> 
> That's why I asked here.
> 
> ...


*
*

Laura,
I've followed this thread for the couple of days that it's been on the front page. During that time, it's become increasingly clear that no answer from the demographic you've queried, has satisfied you. Ironically, the only post you agreed with came from a woman. Maybe you should draw your own conclusions, you know? Make up your own answer. Or, maybe you're just a creep magnet. Who knows?

What I do know is that your displeasure with the replies of others who have offered answers, or asked for clarification (even within the female portion of the posts), seems to be coming out in your comments. See your third and fifth paragraphs. I never got the sense that you were being intentionally flamed, so I'm curious as to why you would reply in such a manner. Now, I'm not a mod. That seems like a thankless undertaking. None the less, it's probably safe for me to assume that as long as you stay within the moderation limits of this forum, you won't be censured for your derogatory remarks. 

I, however, take issue with your comments in the aforementioned, paragraph three. I live in an area that is known as backwoods. I also live in an area where the inhabitants, many of them better people than I've ever met in any of the states I've ever lived in, have been historically referred to as hillbillys. Frankly, most of them, including me, could give a rat's behind what you think of them. But, I won't let this slide. It seems to me that you could elicit more positive responses to your questions in the future, if you used less vinegar and more honey. 

I can read between the lines as well as most of the members here. The posts I refer to above, have hinted at the posters' disappointment with your choice of comments concerning their replies. It's obvious to me that either you haven't noticed that trend, or you simply don't care. However, I get the feeling that none of them have come right out and told you what they really think. My hat is off to them. I guess I never grew up in that way.


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## itsb (Jan 13, 2013)

the new guy that was workin on his brakes that you aint met yet ? how did you know that it was him ?did you happen to drive by his house ???????


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Moon River I did that when I was in my EARLY 20s. Heard the girls stood in there bedroom window in negs. I drove around in my 46 Chevy Pk with hardly NO heater as the heat escaped out the bottom and sides of the front window. It was in the dead of winter, but seeing one of them standing as noted was enough to warm me up immensely. I drove around a doz times, and went home. Only did that once.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Its kinda like a moth to the flame. Guys want to get close, hoping, I guess, that the words and situation will come. It usually dont, and they dont/wont commit and possibly make a fool out of themselves.


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## CajunSunshine (Apr 24, 2007)

Laura, I am getting the distinct impression that some of them are_ intentionally_ trying to creep you out...while being quite obvious about it. Considering the number of men who have been doing this for three years, I find it hard to believe it is a form of "attraction". I have read that this kind of behavior could be a tactic used by creeps who want to intimidate or harass their victims (for xyz reasons), without actually breaking any laws. The motive may not be sinister, but maybe it's just a matter of a few buddies getting kicks out of harassing you, or it could be a long-standing personal vendetta, or whatever... I'm so sorry these guys are bothering you.  


.


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## Paumon (Jul 12, 2007)

CajunSunshine said:


> Laura, I am getting the distinct impression that some of them are_ intentionally_ trying to creep you out...while being quite obvious about it. Considering the number of men who have been doing this for three years, I find it hard to believe it is a form of "attraction". .....
> .


That's what I've been thinking too.

Laura, if you're as abrasive and hard-nosed with people in real life as you are online then maybe you need to do some in-depth thinking about who you've offended that might bear you a grudge. You're in a small town area, word gets around by bush telegraph real quick when one person disses another or destroys their property (like the tail lights). It could be that these guys have got a witch-hunt type of stalking game going on between themselves to see who can creep you out the most because of your own offenses and condescensions towards them. 

If that's what's going on it's obvious they're achieving their goal. You might end up having to make some amends to some people if you want it to stop.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

I like how advice turned from advocating discharging firearms to perhaps I should apologize to the off-easement stalkers with broken taillights. The crowbar solution was discussed in advance with local LE. Their first suspects were buds of xh because divorce and custody were still in progress. Cops won't tell me who I tagged. If it was a game, I showed how this little girl plays. Nobody parks out there anymore.

I didn't ask for advice on how to deal. I speak gently with some of the men doing frequent drive-byes, and some who've parked in the dark. Men are terribly ashamed and embarrassed by their own behavior. A couple of them appeared to be truly surprised this behavior can be perceived as scary. It stops after I speak to them or I step out and wave as they go by.

I asked the men WHY they do this. If I didn't want their answers, I wouldn't have asked. Since approximately 85% of the men interested show up in front of my place, often repeatedly, and it happens with other women too, odds are I'd hit pay dirt at ST. By the responses, I did. I approached the issue without being judgmental and I am not the one who used negative words or labels on these guys.

I appreciate the men who stepped up to answer honestly. The knowledge is valuable as we all seek understanding of what makes the opposite sex tick. I'd like to hear more. I appreciate the insights of the women, too. 

Sustainability and a few are offended by the questions and took up Blame the Victim. It's a common but irrelevant defense. No, I am not responsible for the behavior of others. I am responsible for how I respond.

There is no "tone" on the flat screen. I speak in the vernacular, I am outspoken and direct as is the custom for my region. Since I am barely 5'3" bubbly blonde with a smile when I speak, which is usually softly, I am not interpreted as abrasive in RL. I am only considered hard-nosed when I enforce boundaries on repeat boundary busters. I don't raise my voice or lose my smile doing it, either.

Most people out here are proud to be known by their hillbilly equivalent cultural label. Those who aren't are quick to point out their families never had allegiance to King William. New Guy is from a more remote valley. The males are known by their own term and they are not offended. Backwoods is not a diss, it's the cultural opposite of Townie. Erroneous application would be a diss.

Socially aware gentlemen ask permission to drive through the neighborhood. I am asked frequently for hunting permission and I grant it if they can guarantee dropping the elk/deer in place so it doesn't bound off to neighboring properties. Logger left an awesome perch overlooking the bowl for a safe shooting gallery. So far none have been confident enough with their shooting for a brain stem shot at no farther than 70'.

I talked with a gf how stunned I was New Guy, a transplant, did the drive-by. She exclaimed how well he assimilated to local customs!

How do I know it was New Guy? He retains plausible deniability. It was the same make and model pickup he said he was working on that day, and it was a distinct color. I've never seen this pick-up before in the neighborhood, on the roads or in town. Our population density is that low.


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

Laura said:


> *"...I didn't ask for advice on how to deal."*
> 
> Title of thread: Do All Guys Do This??
> 
> ...




Given the context-- that's C-o-n-t-e-x-t; 
[excerpt from thefreedictionary.com: Context - The part of a text or statement that surrounds a particular word or passage and determines its meaning.], you most certainly meant it as a disrespectful slur. 

I think it would simply be prudent to agree to disagree. I can't afford to waste as much testosterone as you.


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## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

Hey Laura! First off, a big long hug! Gawd how we women luv MEN, yeah? yeah!

My spidey senses tell me that you are a "popular" girl, intriguing and unpredictable. Yeah, even fun to track and hunt (I mean this in a affectionate way and you know what I mean since we have the context of a real life friendship blah blah blah).

Not a lot entertainment out thre for the outdoor types so why not drive by to see what's up. A new prospect would drive by for a chance to see what you look like before the FTF. 

Yes,the stalking stuf to do with the ex is creepy and invasive-you have handled that well. 

The old cruising by thing of teenage car days...

Def take it slow with New Guy. Any good references? Get his license number haha!

BTW y'all Laura is one of my very favorite people. Cares very deeply and fiercely, the Real Deal. Passion is simply attractive my dear!

FWIW I say just go find a Paddle Boy to rock your world! See you def in July for the Paddle In! Bringing TONS of cobbler!


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## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

Alas tho Laura I am No Man. Though I do have the balls of ten men, maybe thatcounts forsomething. tee hee!


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

Conspicuously absent are men from the fishing village. No Paddlemen, drummers or mask dancers, no Soft Spoken Ones at all. These men ask permission before entering the neighborhood. We enjoy their company and they seem to enjoy ours. I'm glad they invited us....and my cobbler.  It gets pounced like hungry wolves on a fat rabbit!


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## foxfiredidit (Apr 15, 2003)

> Alas tho Laura I am No Man. Though I do have the balls of ten men, maybe thatcounts forsomething.


 You know what they say...."If there's not a photo attached,..."


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

Should count to 20,,,but mens are in the front


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## doingitmyself (Jul 30, 2013)

Not worth it.....


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## copperkid3 (Mar 18, 2005)

wyld thang said:


> Though I do have the balls of ten men


+ + + + + + +
They're probably missing them by now.

BTW: Would that be a total of 20 or 10?:shocked:


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## Jim-mi (May 15, 2002)

Pretty obvious there are some men haters here................

The venom is dripping.........


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## doingitmyself (Jul 30, 2013)

Stand by its about to go poof in 5,4,3,2,....


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## Twp.Tom (Dec 29, 2010)

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_W-fIn2QZgg[/ame]


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

I was gonna say,,,no not really,,cause I don't have anything to say,,,

Just am bored and lonely,,,,HEY,,,Maybe Laura is cute!!..I just cruise by,,,She might be gardening in her warm weather outfit,,OOH,,LaLa....**OUT the door headed west**


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## davel745 (Feb 2, 2009)

L.A. said:


> I was gonna say,,,no not really,,cause I don't have anything to say,,,
> 
> Just am bored and lonely,,,,HEY,,,Maybe Laura is cute!!..I just cruise by,,,She might be gardening in her warm weather outfit,,OOH,,LaLa....**OUT the door headed west**


don't forget to take your tractor


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

Ain't upgraded to a tractor yet,,,,,I just have to saddle up Ole Blue,,,,*Loping west**


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## doingitmyself (Jul 30, 2013)

^^^careful there, Old Blue aint going to take getting hit in the grits with a crowbar too well!!


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

Oh My Gosh!!!,,,,,WOW,,,,,

Laura Is Hot!!!!!!

**Headed back around for another look,,,,Maybe I'll be able to wave****


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## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

It's a rural thing and there are several reasons.

-Some actually are watching out for you.
-Some are casing the joint.
-In the case of a passed away husband or man of the house, they usually are casing the joint.

-In the case of a divorce with a bitter husband or breakup with a bitter ex....they are casing the joint but with "permission" from the jilted lover...watching especially for male visitors so they can tattle and the jilted one can spread gossip and/or use against you in court. Or simply to intimidate you. I've had this one happen....the lining up of his buddies because he is sure there's another man because it couldn't POSSIBLY be that we are getting a divorce because he kept trying to kill me.

-Some case it to see if there is a way to take advantage of you or otherwise get something the guy had (not necessarily the woman). Several men did this to my mother when my father passed away. They would sit around and wait for a garage door to open to see if there was anything inside and then come up with things like, "I could take that cement mixer off your hands for $250.00, that's a lot of money." Yeah right. Okay.....*eyeroll*

-Some are just creeps.

-You would not imagine the amount of married men that do this under duress due to their WIVES wanting the gossip...ESPECIALLY if it is a divorce...they want to be the first ones at the coffee shop with the news of who you are screwing.

It is scary...unless you know for sure that at least one out there is someone watching out for you, taking down notes of who is there and talking them off premise about it and getting them to stop.

When my father passed, I lived on 40 acres of family property. My driveway was 1/4 mile long and it was a private drive. So many times I would come home and find people not only parked in my secluded drive...they were OUT OF THEIR TRUCKS walking around! Many came at night. The last one that did found themselves leaving.

The dogs and I went out the back and around the security light and approached them, they had their lights off of course....and I showed up at the drivers door with a loaded 12 guage. These men were drunk...there were four of them. I was alone with my daughter...and 19. Asked them what they were doing...they didn't seem to be concerned with answering me. Told them they needed to leave. The driver comes back with a big laugh as one guy opened his passenger door (thank goodnes for the dogs) and said, "Can you even hit anything with that thing?" I fired a round behind the cab of the truck and reloaded and said, "I'm close enough, aim isn't a problem. I also have a backhoe."

They left. I was so scared I just stood there shaking thinking I was going to puke. No one ever showed up again after that.

Laura, you aren't going to get one answer...but it is something that happens and the reasoning or illogical idiocy of some of it will be individual.


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

Hey,,,

I thought I explained it,,,rather well,,,

Didn't I,,,huh,,,Laura,,huh,,didn't I

L.A. (The great explain-er):goodjob:


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## moxiegal62 (Nov 28, 2013)

Some of y'all are funny. But then, stalking is quite scary, especially if it is men stalking the lone female. THAT....is not funny. I won't even elaborate on my situation.


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

You are right Moxie,,and Girls can be very scary stalkers also,,I won't elaborate either,,

I will clarify,,though,,,I'm simply Flirting,,,,,


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## moxiegal62 (Nov 28, 2013)

Oh..I very much agree L.A. My stalker IS female. She is doing the stalking for my ex, who is serving 27 years in prison at the moment.


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## Twp.Tom (Dec 29, 2010)

Wow, Sad situation Moxie- Please be careful. I am sorry that you have had such Ill-fate.


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## Ardie/WI (May 10, 2002)

There was a period of time where DH was gone Monday through Friday. I had ppl drive in my driveway, turn around and leave. Being fairly new here (5 years), I asked a neighbor woman and she explained that they were just checking that nobody was doing exactly what Laura asked about.

They still do it, even if it's daytime and DH is home 24/5, but then, I know everyone's vehicles.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

Thank you Ladies for your insights. Why Not, I think you nailed it pretty well, including reasons I hadn't yet considered, female gossip gatherers. I wasn't aware they used men to do their dirty work.

Differentiating chivalrous from malicious , identifying and sorting the vultures, hound dogs, protectors, predators, reconnaissance missions, now add spy puppets.......Yup! It had pretty much faded away and only started up again after PrairieMan died. 

New Guy kinda sorta brought up the incident without discussing the incident, retaining his complete plausible deniability. He's smart enough to know my car in the yard increased the chance I saw him without him seeing me, and I will eventually see him in the pickup. Yes, he used his -regional/cultural identifying- Word. I pointed out he's well assimilated. 

Meanwhile the Gossip Grannies from his neck of the woods are eagerly digging around seeing if they can find dirt to sully their high opinions of him. It's reconnaissance.  Goose, goose, gander.

The common denominator of these men is they're all big game hunters.

L.A. I know what it means when a boy yanks my ponytail and runs away. :spinsmiley:

I wouldn't crowbar your horse. I know which tool to use for the job. A man on a horse is a rare treat, so far I've had no reason to put a 10' elderberry switch across his rump. Dogs may put you in my barn, equivalent to Fowler's cellar. Whether you could make two passes by my place without confrontation with the armed amazon sentries is debatable. I am the NICE lady of the neighborhood!

Fun and Games inn Prepper's Paradise.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

Jim-mi said:


> Pretty obvious there are some men haters here................
> 
> The venom is dripping.........


Neither WT or I are man haters, quite the contrary. We sport back with the men who are sporting us. Our advantage is we keep our balls where they can't be grabbed, not dangling about within easy reach.

Sorry you perceive us as venomous. We're both smiling!


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## Terri (May 10, 2002)

Laura said:


> The common denominator of these men is they're all big game hunters.


Might they be wanting to hunt your land?


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## moxiegal62 (Nov 28, 2013)

While many have weighed in on this topic......know one knows but those men, why they are doing this. I did a little bit of research..online. I found one interesting write up on a good part of it. There is alot on here that I didn't realize that constitutes stalking. And I am being stalked. Just be safe Laura. I hope you can find a resolution for this situation.

http://www.protectionagainststalking.org/node/22


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

moxiegal62 said:


> While many have weighed in on this topic......know one knows but those men, why they are doing this. I did a little bit of research..online. I found one interesting write up on a good part of it. There is alot on here that I didn't realize that constitutes stalking. And I am being stalked. Just be safe Laura. I hope you can find a resolution for this situation.
> 
> http://www.protectionagainststalking.org/node/22


 Thank you for posting this link. It certainly helps with threat assessment. I think everyone should read through it for a reality check. What may be a fun game of cat & mouse to you, may be perceived as a serious threat to the mouse. 

PrairieMan and I had a long history of stalking, tracking and sneaking up on each other in the woods. Hayseed and I were more like the Tom & Jerry Show. I had trust and respect with both these men. I was their mouse and they kept other tomcats away.

Each state has its own laws on what you can do about stalkers. Some states are very easy to get anti-harassment orders. My state is very difficult, requiring numerous documented threatening incidences after telling the perp in writing to leave you alone, before a judge will grant a protection order.

Stay safe Moxie. Now you know you're being stalked, you can find the solution. I hope you live where it will be easy to put an end to it.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

people are nuts. Some of these stories are nuts. I thought people out in the country would be a little more civilized and sensible then people in the city but I guess they are just as screwed up as city folk.


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## SimplerTimez (Jan 20, 2008)

Crazy knows no boundary lines...

~ST


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## littlejoe (Jan 17, 2007)

City Bound said:


> people are nuts. Some of these stories are nuts. I thought people out in the country would be a little more civilized and sensible then people in the city but I guess they are just as screwed up as city folk.


Just cuz people people present theirselves as born and raised, values, etc., does not mean that they are.

And undoubtedly, no single place has a monopoly on crazy, as eveidenced!


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## RubyRed (Sep 24, 2011)

This thread brings this song to mind....

[ame]http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKpQRjj_WbU[/ame]


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## defenestrate (Aug 23, 2005)

Some men are desperately lonely. Some are probably acting out a protective instinct. Some may simply be relationship naive and not get that this behavior could appear creepy. Like the guy who has a crush on a gal but doesn't know how to talk to women so he dials then hangs up.


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

I have yet to know any man who does drive-by's to stalk a woman.
Perhaps some people have a vivid imagination.....if l tried hard enough l could convince myself that the mailman, utility reader, lost travelers, etc. were stalking me and wanted me for my hotness!!


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

All joking aside. Be careful, Laura.
DH experienced several cases of weirdo stalkers when he was in law enforcement.


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## littlejoe (Jan 17, 2007)

shanzone2001 said:


> I have yet to know any man who does drive-by's to stalk a woman.
> Perhaps some people have a vivid imagination.....if l tried hard enough l could convince myself that the mailman, utility reader, lost travelers, etc. were stalking me and wanted me for my hotness!!


It happens to us guys as well!!! I know I was being stalked early one morning, when I dropped my britches alongside the highway. A dang scorpion had bit me twice, and I dropped my britches to watch his tail wiggle while I wouldn't turn him loose to fall back down my pantleg. Cars were coming by honking, but I knew it was them danged lady stalkers had put that scorpion in my boot!

I had seen the tracks they left on the pavement!


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## itsb (Jan 13, 2013)

Terri said:


> Might they be wanting to hunt your land?


maybe they are wantin to check out the lay of the land :spinsmiley:


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## Shygal (May 26, 2003)

shanzone2001 said:


> I have yet to know any man who does drive-by's to stalk a woman.
> Perhaps some people have a vivid imagination.....if l tried hard enough l could convince myself that the mailman, utility reader, lost travelers, etc. were stalking me and wanted me for my hotness!!



I know you said you were joking, but this whole thread pretty much has that tone to me. "Oh why are ALL these men driving by my house, why would they want to drive by my house all day and park on my road and LOOK at me?" and NO ONE gave the answer "Because you must be just that hot, to have half the town driving by your house!" which it sounds to me is the answer that was wanted.

Come on. Guys DONT do that. They don't stalk a woman that way, 5 or 6 men dont stalk the same woman, etc. These guys probably drive by there on the way to where they hunt. 

Sounds like a case of trying to blow ones own horn.


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

Well,,,a,,,,uh,,,,I just "Yanked her ponytail" and ran,,,,That's what I did,,,

Going to do it again too,,,,,,:sing:


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## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

Shygal said:


> I know you said you were joking, but this whole thread pretty much has that tone to me. "Oh why are ALL these men driving by my house, why would they want to drive by my house all day and park on my road and LOOK at me?" and NO ONE gave the answer "Because you must be just that hot, to have half the town driving by your house!" which it sounds to me is the answer that was wanted.
> 
> Come on. Guys DONT do that. They don't stalk a woman that way, 5 or 6 men dont stalk the same woman, etc. These guys probably drive by there on the way to where they hunt.
> 
> Sounds like a case of trying to blow ones own horn.


 (steps up to the bench and raises right hand and sez I swear to God I'm tellin nuthin but the truth so help me Gawd)

ok I wrote a bunch and then erased it so I dont' get banned.

you really dont' know what you're talking about. at. all.


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## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

Why Not you are absolute gold. Thank you! wise words.


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## Twp.Tom (Dec 29, 2010)

This song reminds me of this thread, jealousy-can lead to stalking. As far as all men doing this-I don't think so-takes a certain kind of nut. I am sorry that these guys are doing this Laura. I had a Mother, I've got Sisters,Niece's, and some very good Female friends. If they were being stalked-I would be concerned. Want to put an end to it. I really Like ALL of you ST Ladies, don't think its right for someone to mess with you. Time to document, get out the camera- if LE, can't do anything to help you, maybe the Court can? [ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYXHS3OWdKo[/ame]


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

I think L.A.'s thread may shed light on a possible motivation of some males for this behavior. They are afraid to approach and talk, afraid to ask me out or ask for my phone number, or leave a message on my voice mail? It's safer to circle like a buzzard?

There is no public hunting access. The last person to shoot an elk out here is still in prison. There are legitimate reasons for being in my neighborhood, and several of us who step out and ask, "Who are you and why are you here?" Giving the wrong answer won't go well for you. It's gotta be an adrenaline filled challenge to get in and out of here without one of those confrontations. 

Stalking is a serious and common issue. That's why there are legal protocols, definitions and the need to have conversations to develop creative solutions. The bar is pretty high on burden of proof and the law has no teeth. 

It's also common to not know you're being stalked. Last year adult DD quipped online everyone has a stalker, even her mother, she feels left out. It wasn't long after she was beat up in her own apartment when she come home from work by people she knew.

Be careful what you wish for, but I don't think men are interested in stalking lemon trees.


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## Brighton (Apr 14, 2013)

Laura said:


> It's also common to not know you're being stalked. Last year adult DD quipped online everyone has a stalker, even her mother, she feels left out. It wasn't long after she was beat up in her own apartment when she come home from work by people she knew.


I hope she went to the police and had them arrested!


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

Brighton said:


> I hope she went to the police and had them arrested!


Catch and release, probation. No time served for serious felonies. The law has no teeth.


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## Shygal (May 26, 2003)

wyld thang said:


> you really dont' know what you're talking about. at. all.



Um, yeah I do. 

But thats ok, I don't believe half your stories either. :shrug:


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

Shygal said:


> Um, yeah I do.
> 
> But thats ok, I don't believe half your stories either. :shrug:


I'm sorry you have nothing positive or constructive to contribute to the conversation. Perhaps start your own thread revolving around the topic of how life sucks and so do the people in it?


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## skeeter (Mar 23, 2013)

Well I kinda think stalkers are like rapist...there actions have nothing to do with desire or sex..its about power and control...kinda related to bullies too

So if a man is doing that I would keep him as far away as possible with any means possible...I am glad the police are finally taking claims of stalking more serious though they do not want to get involved much until there is a restraining order...but I do think the internet makes it much easier and much more dangerous

Just a thought but I raised boys and the girls drove me nuts doing exactly that...calling all the time....walking or driving by the house...it continued when they were well in their twenties....it truly bothered me and i told my sons to stay away from girls that acted that way...I was truly amazed that so many of them acted that way....appalled is more like it


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Shygal said:


> Um, yeah I do.
> 
> But thats ok, I don't believe half your stories either. :shrug:


I mean no disrepect to your thread Laura, But shy's random post cracked me up!!!! Sorry, now back to your regularly scheduled program.

PS, Where can I get a stalker of my own?....LOL

Also, maybe get a "no outlet" "Dead end" sign, maybe they're just nosey and they go down the road to see whats down there, and spot a deer or they're just smoking crack, and looking at porn......LOL...it happens!!


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## Shygal (May 26, 2003)

Laura said:


> I'm sorry you have nothing positive or constructive to contribute to the conversation. Perhaps start your own thread revolving around the topic of how life sucks and so do the people in it?



Naw, I think I will stay right in this thread 

But I'm not the one complaining about life or the people in it, I believe that is you, dear. 

Also, I'm not the only one that thinks the way I do, I'm just the only one that will actually come out and say it 

But really, if you have a parade of stalkers , you should put out a stand selling pictures. Or perhaps all these "big game hunters" are really passing by your house on their way to hunt, as I said. Usually the simplest answer is the correct one.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

skeeter said:


> Well I kinda think stalkers are like rapist...there actions have nothing to do with desire or sex..its about power and control...kinda related to bullies too
> 
> So if a man is doing that I would keep him as far away as possible with any means possible...I am glad the police are finally taking claims of stalking more serious though they do not want to get involved much until there is a restraining order...but I do think the internet makes it much easier and much more dangerous
> 
> Just a thought but I raised boys and the girls drove me nuts doing exactly that...calling all the time....walking or driving by the house...it continued when they were well in their twenties....it truly bothered me and i told my sons to stay away from girls that acted that way...I was truly amazed that so many of them acted that way....appalled is more like it


I think you nailed the driving force. Notoriously well known as Bully Town with the bully culture well ingrained by high school and protected by bully parents. An incident where a kid caught 6 felony assaults was presented to me as "Having a little bit of fun that got out of hand." Even Chief Pipsqueak (36) who is too religious and "moral" to attend neighborhood social events believes there is nothing wrong with going out and throwing rocks at the Buddhists in their own yard on the their own farm. Blame the victims for being different is how it's rationalized.

Bullying is a main topic of discussion among LE, victims and their advocates and parents of Dociles. Terrorizing people is worthwhile entertainment. Mr. Crowbar made the consequences not worth it.

I think perhaps it is the prevalence of bullying and stalking for entertainment that allows the non-malicious Feel Good Cruisers to think it's acceptable behavior. Until I call them on it. What do you think?

We have maximum regulation signage on the county road approach, the neighborhood entrance and along our roads. Sightseers wandering in usually turn around at the end of the county road. I was told our signage is quite intimidating. The next level is becoming a gated community. Gates would be a major PITA for everyone.

Yes, Fowler, Shy can be quite funny. I am entertained how people's own issues cloud their perceptions. The world is my laboratory where we stick bugs under the microscope and try not to lab-rat friends.


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## skeeter (Mar 23, 2013)

Laura said:


> I think you nailed the driving force. Notoriously well known as Bully Town with the bully culture well ingrained by high school and protected by bully parents. An incident where a kid caught 6 felony assaults was presented to me as "Having a little bit of fun that got out of hand." Even Chief Pipsqueak (36) who is too religious and "moral" to attend neighborhood social events believes there is nothing wrong with going out and throwing rocks at the Buddhists in their own yard on the their own farm. Blame the victims for being different is how it's rationalized.
> 
> Bullying is a main topic of discussion among LE, victims and their advocates and parents of Dociles. Terrorizing people is worthwhile entertainment. Mr. Crowbar made the consequences not worth it.
> 
> ...


Calling someone, like in 1 or 2 people, on bullying does work. But it doesn't work very well when bullies get in gangs and actually get legal advice to stay within the bounds of the law. If a group/gang is stalking you, it is much harder to prove or substantiate since they have built in witnesses and support for their activities. Remember that very often you need enough evidence to get a restraining order that the police can enforce to be protected. 

As for someone "religious" treating anyone like that...no matter their religion/faults/problems/differences/etc...well...I'm fairly sure they don't personally know Jesus.


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## Ardie/WI (May 10, 2002)

Shygal said:


> Naw, I think I will stay right in this thread
> 
> But I'm not the one complaining about life or the people in it, I believe that is you, dear.
> 
> ...


Oh, SG, you're such a ray of sunshine and joy on this fine day! :nanner::happy2:


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## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

Shygal said:


> Um, yeah I do.
> 
> But thats ok, I don't believe half your stories either. :shrug:


 Dang it Laura! you been cheating on me with Shy again! no cherry pie for you!


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

What! Shys been a cheatin on me? Shyme onna U


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## Shygal (May 26, 2003)

Ardie/WI said:


> Oh, SG, you're such a ray of sunshine and joy on this fine day! :nanner::happy2:



I try 


Not trying to be a ray of anything, just telling it like I see it.


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