# Husband's girlfriend called the police on me....



## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

at his request last week. I went to our house to getmy grandson's carseat. She was there in our truck, in our driveway with our grandson and I finally said all the things I had been feeling and thinking this past year. Remember this was a woman that I was grateful to and trusted for being there for my daughter and grandson.....and a man that I loved and was married to for 29 years and was totally blindsighted by.

I let them have it....not in any threatening way ...just my truth ...after all I am a tiny woman and that is not my style....well I guess they didn't like what I had to say and he had her call the police. Good grief. I left.

Now I am in PA. to help clean out my mom's home and my roomate called to tell me that I had a note from the sheriff on our door.....I called and found out the ---- put a no tresspass order on me for our home and her home.

I am out of my mind angry...I could care less about her home....but to think that I am legally not allowed to go to the home that I still own, that my blood sweat and tears helped to build while this trashy woman can boink my husband in our bed there and has a "right" to be there is so wrong on so many levels. Again my life has turned into a Jerry springer show.

Just when I think it can't be anymore hurtful.....


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

sorry all this happin to you...prayers for you.when the divorce is final you will get half of the assets or should....think of it like that.may god grant you peace about this.....amen.


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

I'm so sorry you've had more grief added to your already loaded plate. This makes me very angry on your behalf!


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

Thanks guys.....no one told me life was fair but to be banned from my own home is just crazy....I am a respected member of my community....not a criminal ....and to be treated as such just about pushes me over the edge


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## Ramblin Wreck (Jun 10, 2005)

Sorry you had to deal with this, but you know, it seems like the longer this thing lingers, the worse it gets for you. Maybe it's time to finalize things and truly move on. Best wishes that your weekend is feeled with precious and wonderful memories of you Mom.


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## saremca (Jun 19, 2008)

I'm so sorry. I cannot believe they would have you banned from your own home. Jerks. I pray this is resolved as quickly as possible so that you can move forward with your life.


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## bajiay (Apr 8, 2008)

Praying for you to have strength to deal with this...


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## AngieM2 (May 10, 2002)

Good luck and best wishes and I hope you have a truly nasty lawyer.

And be glad if you get anything from a divorce, it can be messed with to where you get almost nothing. (got the t-shirt here).

And be glad he's messing with a woman, it's much worse to find he's been messing with men.

And a lawyer that is cut throat is more effective than a nice one.

Good luck, be well, live well and show them how well you can do in spite of their crap.


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## Groene Pionier (Apr 23, 2009)

I am sorry this is happening to you! People sure can surprise one and other! I hope you keep your head cool and fix what can be fixed. 
In any case, stay safe please!


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

I am not sure of the reasons behind your actions but you are rolling out a truckload of huge legal mistakes. First, you should have never moved out of the house. Second, you should have talked to the cops. Third, you should have never fled the state. 

I am not sure about the divorce laws in that state but here you would have pretty much screwed yourself royally. My advice is to get a lawyer asap.


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

I sent you a pm.


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## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

I'm sorry roadless! I understand the Jerry Springer thing, I've called my own stuff that. Hold your head up high, turn around and walk away, and keep on walking, they are nothing to you now. 

do get a smart pit bull lawyer, and toe the line with what they say. I know it's hard when you have a kind heart, but you will appreciate every scrap they can salvage.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Roadless these people are aweful monsters. 
I am sorry you had to go through this.

I guess we can not trust anyone around our significant others, even family. I have a friend who had something similar done to her. She let her best friend move in with her and her husband after her best friend had a messy divorce. By the end of the year her husband and her best friend were in love, fooling around, her husband handed her divorce papers and asked her to leave the house. Three months later the husband knocked up the best friend, they are still living together with my friends two young kids. 

Who would have thunk it. These two women were like sisters since preschool and then this happens. You can only trust people so far and that so far is not very far at all.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Raven12 said:


> I am not sure of the reasons behind your actions but you are rolling out a truckload of huge legal mistakes. First, you should have never moved out of the house. Second, you should have talked to the cops. Third, you should have never fled the state.
> 
> I am not sure about the divorce laws in that state but here you would have pretty much screwed yourself royally. My advice is to get a lawyer asap.



Or just break away from themand leave it all behind. Forget the settlment, the savings, the personal items, the house, and just pick up and leave them in the past andmake a new start far away from those trouble makers.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

roadless they will get their punishment. Karma is going to mess them up good. Their marriage is rooted in unwholsomeness so eventually the evil that it is will germinate and bare poisonous fruits. Their day will come and hopefully they will suffer on that day more then you have.

Karma comes back three fold.


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

City Bound said:


> Or just break away from themand leave it all behind. Forget the settlment, the savings, the personal items, the house, and just pick up and leave them in the past andmake a new start far away from those trouble makers.


It is easy to say that but the realities are a lot different. Her name is on the deed and who knows what other property and bank accounts. She needs to break with him financially, otherwise it can come back to bite her even harder. Her credit can be ruined. She abandoned him (by fleeing the state) so the courts may give him alimony and anything else he asks for. Right now, it is looking really bad for her. It isn't that simple to walk away from a marriage.


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## homefire2007 (Sep 21, 2007)

Roadless...so sorry this happened to you. Don't know how long ago the actual break-up happened. You've said your piece to them but it hasn't given you any peace. Don't let this fester and boil inside you any longer. Your husband and this woman don't care...period. It isn't fair and it hurts. The house, contents, etc are things. Get what is rightfully yours if you can though lawyers. But don't make it your life's mission, it isn't worth it. Doesn't matter why they did what they did..it happened and now you need to concentrate on you and not what was. Don't let this literally drive you into some one you are not. Get yourself together and move on mentally and spiritually...you don't live in that place anymore in all regards. You are letting precious time slip away. You are well rid of him, start writing a list of how your life can be and is better without him. You can do this!


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## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

City Bound said:


> Roadless these people are aweful monsters.
> I am sorry you had to go through this.
> 
> I guess we can not trust anyone around our significant others, even family. I have a friend who had something similar done to her. She let her best friend move in with her and her husband after her best friend had a messy divorce. By the end of the year her husband and her best friend were in love, fooling around, her husband handed her divorce papers and asked her to leave the house. Three months later the husband knocked up the best friend, they are still living together with my friends two young kids.
> ...


After I left my sister took me in. I love my sister dearly, and will be forever grateful. I had to leave her house because of my BIL. I did not act in any way to encourage thisin fact I spent as much time out of the house as I could, practically wore a burkha as it were), But there was a growing tension. My BIL handled it/hid it by judging me harshly. He did something that really sucked(no not that) and I had to leave in the middle of the night(I was literally scared my husband would come around and shoot me). I had to leave my job(which was a blessing though, but it sucked to call my boss up and say I'm not coming in, ever, and this is why). Luckily I had a place to go. It tore my heart out to leave my sister. But I had to remove myself to help her. I never told her this part of why I left, though, I knwo it would devastate her.

Again I NEVER did anything to sauce him up as it were, I was very careful. I still can't be around him, which of course hugely limits the contact I can have with my sister. 

So yeah, lots of good intentions, but it's a very dangerous thing to a marriage to bring in a new woman to live in--no matter how solid you think the relationship is, or how good Christian folk they are. Eveyone has their game face, and then what they hide.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Raven12 said:


> It is easy to say that but the realities are a lot different. Her name is on the deed and who knows what other property and bank accounts. She needs to break with him financially, otherwise it can come back to bite her even harder. Her credit can be ruined. She abandoned him (by fleeing the state) so the courts may give him alimony and anything else he asks for. Right now, it is looking really bad for her. It isn't that simple to walk away from a marriage.


You are right. it should be as easy as walking away but all the paperwork binds people up. 

I did not know men could get alimony.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Wild, it takes two to tango. You did not want to tango so there was no dancing going on, but other people hear the music and they just have to move their bodies to it. The dance can start off with just tapping your foot to the beat which seems harless enough. 

My sister inlaw is a few years older then me and she is very pretty. She is very fond of me and friendly to me but i have to keep her at a safe distance. You never know when romantic feelings or lust is going to stir up in people, including myself, so I like to keep a reserved distance.


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## rabbitsbus (Mar 3, 2007)

City Bound, REAL men do not get alimony.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

yeah, i know. crooks do.


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## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

City Bound said:


> Wild, it takes two to tango. You did not want to tango so there was no dancing going on, but other people hear the music and they just have to move their bodies to it. The dance can start off with just tapping your foot to the beat which seems harless enough.
> 
> My sister inlaw is a few years older then me and she is very pretty. She is very fond of me and friendly to me but i have to keep her at a safe distance. You never know when romantic feelings or lust is going to stir up in people, including myself, so I like to keep a reserved distance.


very true! and it's very much to your credit that you do that, it shows you truly care.


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## acde (Jul 25, 2011)

Roadless, Please accept the following advice given to a friend who had a great lawyer.

THE LESS YOU SAY, THE MORE POWERFUL YOU ARE!


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## lazyBum (Feb 27, 2012)

She stole your husbands heart. Most likely she won't be able to protect him from the next temptress that comes along. Hopefully she gets to feel what you are feeling right now. My sisters friend doesnt understand why the men she steals from other women cheat on her and leave her.


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## Terri (May 10, 2002)

You *NEED* more information. 

Is your name on the deed? If so, you might not be trespassing. I can see a no contact order or whatever, but no trespassing?

When you are calm and ONLY when you are calm, you might call the police station to clarify things. If your name is on the deed the judge might not know that..... or the law in your state might be different.

In my opinion, Acde is correct. If you are calm when they said you were frothing at the mouth, and if you ask for information but only say what they need to know, you look stronger and they look weaker.


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## Raven12 (Mar 5, 2011)

Terri said:


> You *NEED* more information.
> 
> *Is your name on the deed? If so, you might not be trespassing. I can see a no contact order or whatever, but no trespassing?*
> 
> ...


It is possible. The state would no longer consider her a resident of the property. Depending on the state, residency takes a higher precedence over ownership. I know this from going through my own divorce. 

In addition, in some states, a no trespass order is the equivalent of a restraining order. That is why I stated that she should have talked to the police. Roadless could have fought the order in court because it isn't an instant process but she didn't show up. Now it looks to the courts as though she is harassing her ex.


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## homefire2007 (Sep 21, 2007)

Shoulda, woulda, coulda's are no longer applicable now. In the heat of emotion you are liable to say and do things that you regret later. Now is the time to sit back, take stock and proceed calmly.


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## Bandit (Oct 5, 2008)

Roadless 
I am sorry to read what happened to You , but I am a also a little surprised as here in Mass. it is usually the male in the relationship that gets railroaded by the courts .
What kind of order was filed ? 
Was it a TEMPORARY 209 A ? ( That judges hand out like candy on Halloween at any women's request in the state ) good for 10 days ?
Or a Court Ordered One ? ( There has been a Court Hearing in front of a judge ? )
Bob

http://www.womenslaw.org/laws_state_type.php?statelaw_name=Restraining Orders&state_code=MA


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

Roadless, for your own health and well being, you need to get this settled soon. 

I do understand your pain, but the reality is, you left the home and have been gone a year. The house is no longer yours. You have mentioned about driving by and checking on things. I don't know how often you may do this, but it could be considered stalking.

It's time to let go and move on. Yes, it hurts and will for a long time. But as long as you're staying in the past and holding on to what was, you will never be able to move forward and live again.


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## mekasmom (Jan 19, 2010)

roadless said:


> Just when I think it can't be anymore hurtful.....


I'm so very sorry. 
But, you are mad at the wrong person. The husband is the one at fault more than the woman. 
I am so sorry. I can't imagine the pain and hurt you feel. It isn't fair, nor is it right. 
You need an attorney to be your advocate in obtaining compensation for your property and financial rights.


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## Shrek (May 1, 2002)

Be careful of what you say prior to the divorce. My ex went off here at the house and in town in front of witnesses admitting to plenty enough bad things and destroying some of my premarriage possessions that the divorce leaned in my favor after I served a restraining order on her . 

In the end I got the house and property and she got one vehicle and the highway but I was nice enough to rent her u haul to haul her personal belonging off my place with.


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## Bandit (Oct 5, 2008)

Shrek said:


> Be careful of what you say prior to the divorce. My ex went off here at the house and in town in front of witnesses admitting to plenty enough bad things and destroying some of my premarriage possessions that the divorce leaned in my favor after I served a restraining order on her .
> 
> In the end I got the house and property and she got one vehicle and the highway but I was nice enough to rent her u haul to haul her personal belonging off my place with.


 Your lucky she wasn't " Late " returning it and sticking You with a lot of fees .

When I left my first wife , she was nice enough to follow me to my parents in my P/U truck so I could put what few items I left with in there garage .
She promptly sold the pick up and my 6 X 6 Int. Dump Truck W/Plow for $ 100. to some guy she met in a club , :grit: At least she had enough brains to keep our Hemi Road Runner with all the low ball offers she was getting .
I did get it back a couple of years later , she had a tow truck drop it in my # space at the complex I was living at , after she totaled the front end .
Bandit


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## Fair Light (Oct 13, 2010)

Roadless....honey you need to stay as far away from them as you possibly can...he has probably told everone that you are the crazy one and you just gave them lots of evidence to that...don't go there for any possible reason...not even if they tell u to come by...they are sleazes and you don't need to fall into any kind of trap they set for you..stay away...get your lawyer to expedite this divorce ASAP...then put it behind you and go forward. ..you will need some help letting go...don't drive by as that is stalking...learn to play your cards right....if you get crazy about this, they will make up stuff and have you involuntarily sent for a mental evaluation.....think about the Betty Brodderick story.....please be careful and get some help......quit acting like a crazy woman...it just makes you look bad......


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## Saffron (May 24, 2006)

You live in NY? NY is tough on a lot of this stuff - contact someone for help if you want it. The women's shelter can get you pointed in the right direction and help you if needed. You don't have to stay at the shelter for them to help you.


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## billooo2 (Nov 23, 2004)

Roadless, I am so sorry that you are going through this. I hope that it will be over soon, and you can move on. 

for me the hardest paret was waiting for the divorce to be final.......not knowing what my situation would be. Once I knew then I could plan onhow to deal with it, and move on....


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## Fair Light (Oct 13, 2010)

BTW.....I myself remember thinking like the crazy woman...I used to fantasize about seeing them in a parking lot somewhere and hitting the gas pedal....it took someone to jolt me out of that crazy frame of mind....you just have to get a hold of your good sense before you do something you will regret...take care and get some help...


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## sidepasser (May 10, 2002)

Roadless,

I think that you need to let your attorney handle things even though I know it felt good to tell the gal exactly how you felt. You still have half the house, and other things, make sure you don't do something that will make sure you don't get either.

You know what is good for the soul? Lock all your doors (where ever you live) and you got any old dishes? If you don't, go buy some first, go to the flea market and get yourself 30 or 40 dollars worth of old plates, saucers and so forth and by God, throw them things on the floor and swear like a sailor. Throw a dish and say "You no good XXXX, and then throw another one, keep throwing dishes on the floor till you can't pick up no more dishes and throw them.

then clean up the mess and be done with it. when you sweep up that last shard, let that be your last feelings you are sweeping up.

Honey if I was close to you, I'd bring you dishes to throw. I threw dishes when my DH passed away, HOW DARE HE DIE? HOW COULD HE LEAVE ME WITH THREE LITTLE KIDS?":? you know what, it was therapeutic. I threw dishes twice, lol...and now I can laugh cause I bet you my deceased DH is up in Heaven laughing his rear end off saying, yep I tole y'all that woman's got a temper..

lol..

So honey, please let that man go..he's done got his self another woman and it is obvious that he is happy with her (for the time being). Throw some dishes and swear like a sailor and move ON..the best revenge is living well.

Lose weight, work out, get yourself a hunk and then one day..you will see him and her and they will see you and you be so nice that sugar won't melt in your mouth..and watch him.. Do whatever makes YOU FEEL BETTER!

HE WILL HATE IT. HE WILL SEE WHAT HE THREW AWAY. I swear Hon, that is the Gospel according the Women of the South.. NEVAH LET HIM SEE YOU UPSET. 

You are a bag of chips and all that.. for sure..now git to fixin your own life and let him keep destroyin his.

You are worth so much more..you just can't see it right now. But we believe you are a 100 Percent All time pure D Southern lady Wanna be..so quit all that stuff, and you show him and her that you are "all that and a bag of chips".


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## homefire2007 (Sep 21, 2007)

Sidepasser, the best advice I ever got was to 'act like a lady,' during my divorce. That advice may sound old-fashioned and not politically correct but it was the best advice I ever got. I caught my first husband and his girl-friend 'in flagrante,' so to speak. It was darn tempting to yell and act like a crazy lady. I exited the bedroom (I had come home unexpectedly) and asked if I could make them some coffee. They declined  They dressed and left hurriedly while I started a pot of coffee. My heart was breaking. I was young and left without asking for a thing in the divorce. There was no name-calling,etc. It was the hardest thing I ever did...I had so much to say! But looking back telling him what I thought wouldn't have made any difference. Years later I went on to have a successful second marriage until his death.


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## sidepasser (May 10, 2002)

Homefire2007, that is what southern women are taught from the word "GO". I am not talking about trash women (and yep, the south has their share of them), but true Gentile Southern Belles..we are taught from the "get go" that a man might treat you bad, but you are "by God, A LADY" and you best act like it. 

Why Nothing Gets a Man's Goat worse than knowing he has thrown away the best thing he ever had..
cause he knows that piece of trash he is sleepin with is nothing but trash and won't hold a candle to a real Southern Lady.

Cause it comes down to "if she will sleep with you while you are married to another, then she will sleep with another while she is married to YOU"..lol..

Ain't that the best saying ever? It surely is because it is the truth. A man (or woman) that will slip in and bed a married man Or woman is no better than yesterday's trash cause he/she will do it to the one that thinks they "stole" him/her away.

All one can do as the injured party is to be someone that is respected, respectful, and live a good life. That truly is the best revenge (BTDT and my ex tried for 17 years to get me to come back, I lived well and never went back).

Homefire, living like a Lady is painful, but I swear it pays back in spades - Karma seems to send you the one man that thinks you don't have a pedestal HIGH enough to be on..and it looks like you found one with your second marriage. I am sorry that you lost your second mate. 

I finally found a gentleman that thinks the world of me, it took me 12 years but I do have one that thinks I hung the moon and stars and makes sure to let me know. Course I do the same for him, right now I am barbequing chicken and making dressing, and will fry some fried green tomatoes and am going to cook some squash and onions stir fry for him. 

Took me a long, long time to find a man that is worthy of ME, now I have to show him everyday that I am worthy of him. (and that is what it is all about.).

I know I am not single anymore, but somehow I feel better down here than up there..lol..guess cause I was single so long and stayed down here forever. 

Hope y'all don't mind.


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## Tommyice (Dec 5, 2010)

Side I sure hope you spend your time with us down here. Your advice is always spot on, thoughtful and conveyed in an easy to understand manner. I know I appreciate your insights.

I'm also very glad you've got a guy worthy of YOU!


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## tambo (Mar 28, 2003)

sidepasser said:


> Hope y'all don't mind.


Never!!

I could've wrote everything roadless as written since it's happened except the 30yrs. and kids. Breaks my heart for her. I even went to (my house) trying to get her to come out so I could stomp her butt. I worked in a public place where she thought it was funny coming out there taunting me. I'm not saying it was the right thing to do but she never did it again. She wouldn't come out of the house by the way and I'm glad now because I was crazy mad.

I finally decided I loved my ex enough to let her have him and him her. They are still together miserable. LOL All these years (18) she has left him for another woman but he took her back, he almost killed her in a ATV accident driving drunk and I have turned him down numerous times wanting to come back. It took me along time to get over it but now I think what was I thinking to ever marry him in the first place.

It will get easier with time roadless. He is not the same person you love and she is not the same person you knew. They are both liars and cheaters. You don't want or need them in your life. I know how bad it can hurt but every time you have an encounter with them it bust the wounds back open and you have to start the healing back over. I hope and pray for you to find peace with this soon. Love yourself enough to walk away and never look back.

Hugs to you.


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## homefire2007 (Sep 21, 2007)

Sidepasser, you hit the nail on the head. My grandmother drummed that into my head and it has stood the test of time. Your posts always enlighten and encourage. I'm so glad you found your gentleman!!!


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## rancher1913 (Dec 5, 2008)

Sidepasser - you are awesome. I could never express myself that well, but you've said exactly what I was thinking. I saw the china pattern XH and I had the other day at a thrift store. I almost bought it just to break it, but then i thought....no, I'd rather have a Dr. Pepper!!

Roadless... just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Pretty soon, you'll be far from where you are and closer to where you want to be.

Moldy


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## AR Cattails (Dec 22, 2005)

For you Roadless...

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7D9UNM78-Y&feature=relmfu]Tenth Avenue North - Losing (NEW RADIO version with LYRICS!) - YouTube[/ame]


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## fantasymaker (Aug 28, 2005)

The order is no big deal when you get back g to court and get it quashed(?)
What happened is they went in and told a story and there was no one to tell the other side so of course the court belived them . usually thses things come with a hearing date but you can go to court befor that.
its pretty hard to keep a nonviolint owner out but you should be able to keep the GF out on the basis she stirs the pot.


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## Ardie/WI (May 10, 2002)

Roadless, stay away from those people. They are trash!

Move on.


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

I am going back to Mass. today. I did all I could at my mom's. ..... You are all right...I have to get a grip....leave the past behind ...where it belongs.

I have to carve out a life for myself.....I am physically, emotionally and spiritually tired......I just gotta have faith and do the next right thing....I have no choice....I am making myself sick.

I know I am a good woman, I was a good wife....am a good mother...friend etc. I will be forever changes by this and I will never , ever understand......but life does go on no matter what....I feel so broken but I do know feelings are not facts.


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## gaucli (Nov 20, 2008)

Awww...I feel so bad for you. You are gonna be ok..just take one day at a time. You are gonna overcome all this and come out better than them.:grouphug:


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## haypoint (Oct 4, 2006)

When I went through my divorce, my Attorney told me not to move out. But after a while, just my being there was upsetting to my wife, so I moved out. We had everything settled and agreed to, so I didnât see any point in staying.
I was wrong. With me out, she had control of everything and stalled for a year. Advice to others: Do not move out.
With that said and the fact that I know nothing about your situation, Iâll make a few comments. It is in bad taste for him to have his newest sleeping partner in your house before the divorce is settled. But, you mention living with your partner, so it works both ways. You know sheâs there. Dropping in, unannounced, is going to set up the incident that you describe. A simple call, âTell the B that Iâm on my way over to get my grandsonâs car seat and I donât want to see her there.â
In Michigan it is a Personal Protection Order, requiring you to stay away. The people involved with issuing this are getting only one side of the story. But the fact that they acted first, puts them on stronger footing. You need to calmly explain to the Police and Judge what is going on. You need your Attorney to help you with this situation that is specific to your state and your situation. 
I write this to be helpful to you and perhaps others will know what not to do if ever thrown into such a situation.


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## defenestrate (Aug 23, 2005)

My opinion - this gf is acting pretty trashy and your husband is helping her. Don't talk to them about anything other than matter-of-fact things about the children. Don't discuss property or how you feel. A lawyer will do a much better job of that, and his girlfriend getting an order keeping you out of your own home is a pretty solid clue for his infidelity, which makes you look like the decent person in divorce court. 

I feel for you, and have had an ex screw with me legally after she cheated on me. I no longer discuss anything outside of our child with her, because I realized that anything I told her was not in confidence and would be used against me whenever she felt like being trashy like that. It's not worth it, and it seems clear that you are a better person than to act like that.

Once your SO or the person they are betraying you with takes legal action against you, the only way to keep your own legal integrity is to keep it all "legal" with lawyers and documents (keep a record of *any* interaction, how long he's been seeing her, etc.) and work with the state in an above-board way. 

Also, I could not agree more with what sidepasser and tambo said. Let them have each other, they are not the people you were close to, and they don't deserve that from you anymore. Take care of you. You clearly have plenty of folks here who believe in you. I don't particularly know you, but I get the situation, and nobody deserves to be treated like that. The sooner you remove them both from your own life in a legal way, the sooner you can really be done with the drama - but don't wait on taking care of/working on yourself. do that NOW. You deserve it.


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## summerdaze (Jun 11, 2009)

AR Cattails said:


> For you Roadless...
> 
> Tenth Avenue North - Losing (NEW RADIO version with LYRICS!) - YouTube


What a wonderful song! When I put myself in Roadlesse's shoes and listened, I could feel my heart breaking for her.
This reminds me of why I love the movie Camelot so much. The king's best friend and the king's wife have betrayed him. But he loves them both, and he knows that even through their sin, they love him too. As king, he could crush them both, but he chooses to love them through it all instead. He becomes free from worry and strife when he comes to this conclusion. He becomes happy again when he decides to forgive them, and smilingly says "And may God have mercy on us ALL!"

I'm not trying to trivialize what you are going through by comparing it to a movies Roadless. I just think it's a beautiful story of forgivness, and one worth taking in. Sometimes, all the legal mumbo-jumbo aside, when we're feeling overwhelmed, the best thing we can do is just give it over to God and let HIM fight our battles for us, and except HIS peace in the middle of it all.


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## Fair Light (Oct 13, 2010)

Roadless...glad you are ok.....as my son once told me...."It is time to re-invent yourself....Become someone new...." you will never be the same again anyway...just as soon have some say-so in who you become...


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

haypoint said:


> When I went through my divorce, my Attorney told me not to move out. But after a while, just my being there was upsetting to my wife, so I moved out. We had everything settled and agreed to, so I didnât see any point in staying.
> I was wrong. With me out, she had control of everything and stalled for a year. Advice to others: Do not move out.
> With that said and the fact that I know nothing about your situation, Iâll make a few comments. It is in bad taste for him to have his newest sleeping partner in your house before the divorce is settled. But, you mention living with your partner, so it works both ways. You know sheâs there. Dropping in, unannounced, is going to set up the incident that you describe. A simple call, âTell the B that Iâm on my way over to get my grandsonâs car seat and I donât want to see her there.â
> In Michigan it is a Personal Protection Order, requiring you to stay away. The people involved with issuing this are getting only one side of the story. But the fact that they acted first, puts them on stronger footing. You need to calmly explain to the Police and Judge what is going on. You need your Attorney to help you with this situation that is specific to your state and your situation.
> I write this to be helpful to you and perhaps others will know what not to do if ever thrown into such a situation.


You are right I never should have moved out.....I didn't know about her at the time and I thought this was all going to be temporary . For the record I do not have a partner. I have a great roommate who is female...I am renting a room from her at her trailer. I will be dealing with the order now that I am back in Ma. Thank you for your advice.


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## WolfWalksSoftly (Aug 13, 2004)

You have every right to feel you been wronged. Just remember, take the High Road and play the game to the end. Then there will be time for Karma, or what have you. :hobbyhors


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## sidepasser (May 10, 2002)

Well hell, (sorry) I typed out this long reply and it went POOF..

Honey, I was left with twin daughters, age 6 months, by my husband. He waltzed in with his bleach blond bimbo and told me he was moving in with her. Ok. as I threw his stuff to curb literally, I really did try to make to the other side of the street, but I only weighed 110 lbs. and really couldn't toss stereo equipment that far.

Point is...I made it. My daughters made it. i went to college, I got a job. I made it. 

You can make it too. We are rooting and hollering for you to let that slime bag go. You are so much more than "being married to that MAN". You are YOU. 

Think about that Hon..

You are so special that we on Singletree (and heck I ain't even single any more and still come down to the basement to post)..lol..think you are pretty darned special in OUR book. Don't that count for nuthin? we are telling you to let that skank go..

He already went Hon, just like my first DH..he done left the building and left you and everything you cared about behind. Face it. Scream, Holler, throw some stuff, but you gotta get yourself together and move on.

If you need to talk, any one of us here is available, just PM and we will listen. Promise!

I swear Roadless, you are worth so much more than this crap you been taking. 
I REPEAT: THE BEST REVENGE IS LIVING WELL. 
Take that to heart. It is the God's Honest Truth, if you are living well and moving on, the Husband will hate it..
and that, my dear, is living well.


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## AngieM2 (May 10, 2002)

sidepasser said:


> I REPEAT: THE BEST REVENGE IS LIVING WELL.
> Take that to heart. It is the God's Honest Truth, if you are living well and moving on, the Husband will hate it..
> and that, my dear, is living well.


roadless, I've been reading this and I have to 2nd what sidepasser is saying. The fellow can do more damage to himself and his life than you could think up, just let it go and you can watch from a distance if you want.... BUT, the best revenge is living well. I have been there too and with two little girls, no job, and a huge bankruptcy. It is hard, with bouts of not so bad, then about 50-50, then you see him one day and feel pity for that poor blob that threw the best things is life away. 

So, if you really want to get to him, ignore him and live well. (it will drive him nuts), and even if it doesn't - you'll be happy.

It can be done.

Best wishes.


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

Home for an hour and the sheriff shows up with the no trespass order..my heart is pounding......gotta let it go....I knew it was coming but to see it in black and white is beyond words.....
I have to turn the channel in my head and not focus on the sleezy antics of those two....

I really do have much to be grateful for......I must focus on such things.


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## MJsLady (Aug 16, 2006)

roadless please tell me you have an excellent attorney.


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## Guest (Jul 11, 2012)

Hey Roadless, I feel far ya, but you know its something only you cam work through. But, I find that growing and maintaining a garden is really soothing for my soul. You can always go out there and do something. And you can always learn more. And you can always look at descriptions of different vegetables and wonder "Is this something I should grow next year?" When I get down real bad, I'm always planning, charting my layouts, scheduling my "potting up" planting, etc. I could teach you everything I know about gardening, but it's only relevant to the piedmont region of NC, SC, and VA. I guess in a way, its kind of like a hobby to most people, but to me it's more of a religion. And really, being outside in nature helps you to think with amazing clarity.


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## seedsavergal (Jan 12, 2012)

sorry.....wow just wow


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## tambo (Mar 28, 2003)

roadless said:


> I have to turn the channel in my head and not focus on the sleezy antics of those two....
> 
> I really do have much to be grateful for......I must focus on such things.


Do this today. Don't even worry about tomorrow until tomorrow. Then...



roadless said:


> I have to turn the channel in my head and not focus on the sleezy antics of those two....
> 
> I really do have much to be grateful for......I must focus on such things.


Then tomorrow do this and don't worry about the next day until the next day.


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