# best friends daughter



## lazyBum (Feb 27, 2012)

When your best friend asks you if you've noticed how big his barely illegal daughters boobs are, do you?
A: Say yes, they are very nice.
B: Say no, haven't noticed.
or
C: Make motor boat noises.

I went with D, no comment.


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

I choose E - find a new friend.


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## Rick (May 10, 2002)

Maybe ask if she has thought of getting a conceal and carry permit?


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

My buddy's daughter is 19 and getting ready to leave for her second year of college. She is tall, well put together (actually drop dead gorgeous), and very smart. Since his divorce 7 years ago she chose to live with him, so she has also spent a large amount of her time around beer swilling, ******* men. I've known her her whole life, and while I may pick on her, I have never said or done any thing that she could in any way take as inappropriate, and if he's not home I won't get closer than 1 foot from the front door. She is like my own daughter. That aside, I give him a pretty hard time.  I'd have probably mentioned it before he ever had the chance.


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## sherry in Maine (Nov 22, 2007)

please say NOTHING! Am not a prude, but dont think that is appropriate..... or, maybe in his family, it is.
Kind of yuk.....


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

I would say that to my VERY best friend, as in like a brother, but not to my brother. It may be his way of opening a conversation in which hes concerned/confused about it/them/her, and wants some kind of conformation that there being there is OK. My Gd is 11 and shes out there, and already interested in boys. Course, that's cause they've shown an interest in hers, which has likely awakened a sleeping giant.


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## Terri (May 10, 2002)

My oldest looked 16 when she was 12. When she was 14 she looked like an adult. Comments at that age would have been accepted if somebody said something about "Growing up fast", or whatever. 

Parents WORRY about a daughter who looks older! Will she be able to handle the attention from much older men? She LOOKED like an adult and men assumed she 
WAS an adult, but she was still a kid who loved dressing her cat up in different collars with and without bells, and who complained when I made her clean her room. 


DD made it through those difficult (for me) years, but I did gain a few grey hairs.


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## bstuart29 (Jul 11, 2006)

Id tell them that's a very inappropriate and never ask me or anyone that again then walk away.


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

lazyBum said:


> When your best friend asks you if you've noticed how big his barely illegal daughters boobs are, do you?
> A: Say yes, they are very nice.
> B: Say no, haven't noticed.
> or
> ...


What a bizzare thing to ask?

IF the friend is female, and asking you, a male, it could be because she thinks you are 'staring' and wants to inquire "innocently" to confirm or deny her feelings that you are being inappropriate.

IF the friend is female, and asking you a male, it could be because she has noticed many other men doing the same and she is innocently asking because she is concerned and trusts you as a friend.

IF the friend is male, and asking you as a male, it could be because he thinks you are perving and is looking for confirmation so he can whip your butt.

IF the friend is male and asking you as a male it could be that he has noticed many men doing this, and he is confiding in a friend....

IT COULD BE that this person asking (male or female) is ate up in the head, saturated in pornography and their brain is so damaged from it, that they think this is appropriate.

Too many varibles, too little information.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Ate up in the haid, Saturated in sadism, drenched in debauchery, pooped by pornogoraphy, nutz over necked ladies, I think ive described myself to a T_ _ _ y lol


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

I think it's very common for men to struggle with their feelings over their daughter's sexual bloom and their desire to protect their little girl. There's a psychobabble word for it, I forget.

Since you weren't quick enough to say, "You have a beautiful daughter, I'll help you shop for a bigger shotgun,"  saying nothing was a good choice.


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## lazyBum (Feb 27, 2012)

Laura Zone 5 said:


> IF the friend is male and asking you as a male it could be that he has noticed many men doing this, and he is confiding in a friend....
> 
> IT COULD BE that this person asking (male or female) is ate up in the head, saturated in pornography and their brain is so damaged from it, that they think this is appropriate.


Bingo. Sometimes his relationship with his daughters seems too close. But he really is a good dad.


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## swamp man (Dec 25, 2005)

None of the reasons I can think of why a man would ask that are good ones. 

Could be a trap, too.


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

lazyBum said:


> Bingo. Sometimes his relationship with his daughters seems too close. But he really is a good dad.


You knew YOUR answer so why were you asking a bunch of strangers on the Net? Not trying to be mean but I find it tiring when people post something to entice others to reply to sketchy details. Yeah I'm old and crotchety so probably not a good audience but.....really....


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## swamp man (Dec 25, 2005)

katydidagain said:


> You knew YOUR answer so why were you asking a bunch of strangers on the Net? Not trying to be mean but I find it tiring when people post something to entice others to reply to sketchy details. Yeah I'm old and crotchety so probably not a good audience but.....really....


Totally.

....like when FBB asks us if he should smash his testicles with a ball-peen hammer to cure himself of any future inappropriate internet shenanigans.


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

swamp man said:


> Totally.
> 
> ....like when FBB asks us if he should smash his testicles with a ball-peen hammer to cure himself of any future inappropriate internet shenanigans.


Did I miss that? If not, why are you giving him suggestions for future posts? Either way--blech, just blech.


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## lazyBum (Feb 27, 2012)

katydidagain said:


> You knew YOUR answer so why were you asking a bunch of strangers on the Net? Not trying to be mean but I find it tiring when people post something to entice others to reply to sketchy details. Yeah I'm old and crotchety so probably not a good audience but.....really....


I didn't ask why he would ask that. I asked what the best response would be. And I thought it was a funny situation. I'm sorry you weren't amused.


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

lazyBum said:


> I didn't ask why he would ask that. I asked what the best response would be. And I thought it was a funny situation. I'm sorry you weren't amused.


No, you didn't ask why he asked; you asked us about the proper reply to his query and I stated mine. 

Trap.

I'm old yet sometimes find a giggle in a thread but pull my finger jokes weren't funny when I was young and aren't now. Post on the homesteading monthly thread about your accomplishments (bonus for pictures) and I'll be really nice. Ask if we agree about how you handled something, we'll let you know. Tease us with nonsense and I'm done.


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

swamp man said:


> None of the reasons I can think of why a man would ask that are good ones.
> 
> Could be a trap, too.


Thank you, thank you and thank you. My advice, Run Forest Run. :walk:


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## swamp man (Dec 25, 2005)

....OR, you could pretend to be offended and throw a big dern fit. It would work.
....OR you could go all "Clinton" about it, and question the definition of "boob".
....Or, you could borrow from Reagan and claim not to remember anything from the last eight years.
There are plenty of solutions.


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## swamp man (Dec 25, 2005)

bstuart29 said:


> Id tell them that's a very inappropriate and never ask me or anyone that again then walk away.


Gayest
Answer
Possible


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

I always heard, "better gay than grumpy".


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

vicker said:


> I always heard, "better gay than grumpy".


You youngsters and your lingo--I just can't keep up!


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

lazyBum said:


> Bingo. Sometimes his relationship with his daughters seems too close. But he really is a good dad.





lazyBum said:


> I didn't ask why he would ask that. *I asked what the best response would be.* And I thought it was a funny situation. I'm sorry you weren't amused.


Response would be that:

Porn has wrecked your mind, and you have crossed the line of gross inapproprateness. Get help. 
That would be after I threw up in my mouth.


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## AngieM2 (May 10, 2002)

What is a barely illegal daughter?


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## DEKE01 (Jul 17, 2013)

Wow, I'm amazed at some of these responses. If my BEST FRIEND (other than my wife) asked me a Q like that, it would never occur to me that it was a trap, or something inappropriate about him or me. He and I have had all sorts of discussions over the last 40 years that might not be considered polite or prudent topics for public discourse, but for what ever reason were important to one of us at the time. If you are concerned about something, who are you going to discuss it with if not your best friend? 

Why might he ask me such a thing? Because he was worried about the attentions she was getting from boys, worried about her response to those attentions, or what ever...I would assume an explanation would be soon to come.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

I guess if you are female and your friend is female you can talk about these things. If you're male you should talk about the weather, or cars or something.


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

DEKE01 said:


> Wow, I'm amazed at some of these responses. If my BEST FRIEND (other than my wife) asked me a Q like that, it would never occur to me that it was a trap, or something inappropriate about him or me. He and I have had all sorts of discussions over the last 40 years that might not be considered polite or prudent topics for public discourse, but for what ever reason were important to one of us at the time. If you are concerned about something, who are you going to discuss it with if not your best friend?
> 
> Why might he ask me such a thing? Because he was worried about the attentions she was getting from boys, worried about her response to those attentions, or what ever...I would assume an explanation would be soon to come.


If this were truly a conversation between best friends, we would never have heard about it because discussing something your best friend says to you in confidence is not part of being best friends I don't think. Now I doubt it happened at all.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

Who's mind is more wrecked by porn, the ones who automatically assume he is a lecherous pervert, or the fellow who notices that his daughter has boobs and comments about that to his best friend?


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

vicker said:


> Who's mind is more wrecked by porn, the ones who automatically assume he is a lecherous pervert, or the fellow who notices that his daughter has boobs and comments about that to his best friend?


Best friends of both genders should be able to share anything but bringing a personal discussion to a message board and trivializing a confidence is wrong IMO. Maybe I should have said his best friend needs a new friend.


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

vicker said:


> I guess if you are female and your friend is female you can talk about these things. If you're male you should talk about the weather, or cars or something.


I have a best guy friend that I call my "non gay guy girlfriend". Yes he knows I call him that and yes he knows I love him and it is all okay. No he is not gay but he sure could fool a couple of people. He is into chics however and we rate girls walking by. He is the only one that will open up and talk to me just like I am a dude and he doesn't filter what he says. So I get a HUGE insight into the way men think and I mean HUGE. We talk about all things, cars are sexy, women are sexy and we rate men, whether they are hawt or not. And it is all cool. Not sure how he would respond to the whole daughter thing, he has never had kids. But I can tell you, I would NOT be talking to some of my girlfriends and asking them to check out my sons package. I will say that my sons are good looking but that is where I draw the line. Sorry if this is to much information. :tmi:


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

I don't think speaking of a boy or girl's "package", and speaking of their breasts are the same thing.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

I'm pretty sure men expressing their feelings and confusion over their daughters' sexuality is the most taboo subject in American culture.
If we can admit we admire beauty of the human form, and enjoy gazing upon this natural beauty and how good it makes us feel, then allowing that gaze to rise to her face and seeing your little girl..... 

A lot of dads have a hard time processing those normal feelings. Obviously they face a lot of judgmentalism if they try to articulate what they already feel guilty about. 

My dad raised 3 daughters, he was fortunate to have best friends raising daughters the same age as us. They bought a lot of shotguns.


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

vicker said:


> I don't think speaking of a boy or girl's "package", and speaking of their beasts are the same thing.


I disagree.


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

vicker said:


> I don't think speaking of a boy or girl's "package", and speaking of their beasts are the same thing.


 I had to come back and read this twice, lol. Just to make sure I didn't misunderstand. Okay, so please tell me how they are NOT the same thing?


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

katydidagain said:


> I disagree.


I am with you on this, I disagree as well.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

It seems obvious to me. One is genitalia and one is not. I think that not everyone sexualize breasts to the same extent they do genitalia. For example, flashing your breasts is a whole lot different than flashing your genitalia. Come on, they're just breasts. Surely you guys get that. 
Commenting on her breast is much more like commenting on her behind. Ever comment about your son's behind?


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

vicker said:


> It seems obvious to me. One is genitalia and one is not. I think that not everyone sexualize breasts to the same extent they do genitalia. For example, flashing your breasts is a whole lot different than flashing your genitalia. Come on, they're just breasts. Surely you guys get that.
> Commenting on her breast is much more like commenting on her behind. Ever comment about your son's behind?


No, I didn't.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

This is a fellow's daughter we're talking about, born to him, cared for and loved by him, changing diapers, bathing, teaching them to wash themselves, growing up. 
It goes something like this.
Friend: Shaking head "Man, look at ____'s boobs. And look at that behind."
Me: "Bo, she sure is growing up, going to be a heart breaker too."
Friend: "I guess it's time to oil and shine the old shotgun."
Me: "Yep,  let me know if you need the backhoe."
Friend: Laughs
Me: Bo, You got any more of that sausage y'all made last year?


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

If you don't get it, you don't. My father who raised 5 daughters and was by no means perfect never would have considered talking to a male friend about any of our development. I do know he and Mom discussed the matter. I can't explain it but talking about shotguns and "boobage" (are you channeling FBB?) makes sense. Since both of you are disrespecting his daughter, any guy showing up to "court her" would also. I expected more for my son and got it.


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## Ardie/WI (May 10, 2002)

swamp man said:


> Totally.
> 
> ....like when FBB asks us if he should smash his testicles with a ball-peen hammer to cure himself of any future inappropriate internet shenanigans.


Personally, I think he should!


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

You are way off base, honey.  We've had many talks about his daughter and never disrespected her in any way. It's not easy being a single dad to a daughter, and he's done an outstanding job. At 19 she has only recently started seriously dating, and has a darn good head on her shoulders, and has learned a lot from frank talks with her father of which I have been a participant in a few. 
I would dare say that most men are not sexually attracted to their daughters or their friends daughters, or teenage girls in general. And I resent that if a fellow has some kind of conversation about breast, boobs, or bodies in general, it is implied that he is some kind of pervert. You can tell a lot about people by their own imaginings.


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

Let's agree to disagree. Okay?


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

Done


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Vicker, did you have daughters of your own? And if ya did, ya talk with your best guy friends about her boobs?

Me, sorry, I don't talk about my sons behind, if I even tried that he would have my head served on a platter and say I was just plain gross.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

I agree with ya Vick
Nick I do not think I ever thought about downsizing my nuggets with a hammer of any kind. I did mention once I wished there were pills to nurtialize their operation. but smacking them with anything but a feather duster??? NOPE.

Like Vick I see a difference between a boys package, and a girls rack. Gir;s breasts have always been the subject of art, have always been viewed by men as a pleasureable aspect of a otherwise dull and boring life, have always been the non verbal way of causing a guy to want to open a conversation with a girl who, whithout them, or showing them to her advantage likely wouldn't generally happen.
Its only been in this generation generally that women have taken a notice in guys packages. I cant say I know why they do, as generally most of them are repulsed by the idea of what lies there. Women have seemingly come to terms with there sexuality and many of the younger ones do cast glances downward at guys before looking up at them. I never had it happen till I turned 60. Dosent say anything about what I have/had up to that point, just says that at that point in MY life, girls and young women started taking a peek at the package as I was walking by them.


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

The human body has been depicted nude for at least the last 2 centuries; it might surprise you to know that women have been wondering what was behind those artistically placed fig leaves for ages. What surprises me is that you and vicker really don't see a difference between sexualizing boys and girls. Hmmmm.....


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Two peas in a pod maybe, LOL. :buds:


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

I don't see a difference between sexualizing boys or girls, i just don't think a man commenting to his friend that his daughter is blossoming is sexualizing her in any way. Yes I have a daughter, and no I never commented to a friend about her body. But, if I had, it would have been in conversation with my friend and would not have been a sexual conversation.


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## Guest (Jul 26, 2013)

BEST friends ...I agree 100 % with Vicker..


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

vicker said:


> I don't see a difference between sexualizing boys or girls, i just don't think a man commenting to his friend that his daughter is blossoming is sexualizing her in any way. Yes I have a daughter, and no I never commented to a friend about her body.


Aha! I wasn't wrong about you; you, sir, are a southern gentleman or, like my father, a Yankee gentleman. As I said, I know my parents discussed our development. And I'll give you this--my mother and her best friend talked about their respective daughters. But for a father to talk to another man about his "barely illegal" daughter's development is just creepy and sick IMO.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

See, I was just going to ask if you had a daughter, and had you ever discussed her in such a way, and ask the difference. I see none.


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

vicker said:


> See, I was just going to ask if you had a daughter, and had you ever discussed her in such a way, and ask the difference. I see none.


I have 1 son. I suspect the EX bragged to a lot of people about his progeny but he's a crude, pig so that's to be expected. I said nothing to anyone.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

I think it's just plain silly to think we "know" what our daddies would and would not discuss with their friends when the kids and spouses are not around. 

It's a tough thing for a lot of dads to face and resolve with a sense of healthy balance. Most are smacked unexpectedly by this. 2nd thing on their mind is if they're noticing, so are other men.

Unhealthy reactions would be to ACT on the sexual stimulation, or go into guilt overdrive and uglify their daughters by forcing them into sackcloth and ashes.


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

Laura said:


> I think it's just plain silly to think we "know" what our daddies would and would not discuss with their friends when the kids and spouses are not around.


I can guarantee my father didn't discuss such matters with his friends. He's 94; he absolutely did not.


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

katydidagain said:


> I can guarantee my father didn't discuss such matters with his friends. He's 94; he absolutely did not.


Mine absolutely did NOT either. it must be a age thing, My father is 83.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

More than anything, I think it is changing diapers and caring for your daughter as a baby on up. I don't think I ever had anything other than heathy thoughts involving my daughter. I'm sure I had no sexual thoughts of her. But then, I don't have sexual thoughts about other young girls or boys either. That would be strange and sick, wouldn't it?


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

cindilu said:


> Mine absolutely did NOT either. it must be a age thing, My father is 83.


No, it's a matter of class. My EX's side of the family were proud to be trash and they showed it; DS's grandfather who would have been 88 or so now was known for FBB comments. Fortunately DS told me he wanted to be like my family and it seems he is. I keep company sometimes with someone 2 years my senior who takes umbrage if I say something a bit "blue".


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## DEKE01 (Jul 17, 2013)

katydidagain said:


> I can guarantee my father didn't discuss such matters with his friends. He's 94; he absolutely did not.


Once my daughter knew about sex, she was absolutely sure that her parents would only do something so awful just the one time we wanted to have a child. It was amusing to see how sure she was in her ignorance. She was like 12 and within a few years she was smarter and wiser. Some children grow up faster than others.


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

DEKE01 said:


> Once my daughter knew about sex, she was absolutely sure that her parents would only do something so awful just the one time we wanted to have a child. It was amusing to see how sure she was in her ignorance. She was like 12 and within a few years she was smarter and wiser. Some children grow up faster than others.


DS was born old according to his nursery school caregivers. Male walked at just under 9 months and was potty trained COMPLETELY when he was 22 months. And he knew things that spooked a lot of folks. If you want a bragging match, I'm on. Otherwise not sure why you commented unless you are are about to brag about her developing womanhood or say you never would or will.


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## DEKE01 (Jul 17, 2013)

katydidagain said:


> DS was born old according to his nursery school caregivers. Male walked at just under 9 months and was potty trained COMPLETELY when he was 22 months. And he knew things that spooked a lot of folks. If you want a bragging match, I'm on. Otherwise not sure why you commented unless you are are about to brag about her developing womanhood or say you never would or will.


Umm...no bragging about my daughter, just...Oh, never mind.


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

DEKE01 said:


> Umm...no bragging about my daughter, just...Oh, never mind.


Gotcha.


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## DEKE01 (Jul 17, 2013)

katydidagain said:


> Gotcha.


No, I don't think that you do. But cheers, nevertheless.


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

DEKE01 said:


> No, I don't think that you do. But cheers, nevertheless.


Cheers to you also. Do you even know what this thread was about? And where it traveled? Not trying to be mean but we were discussing the appropriateness of "best" friends talking about our children's "equipment" and not how grown up they were at aged 4. I do get it because I was here from the get go.


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## SimplerTimez (Jan 20, 2008)

Laura said:


> Snip
> 
> Since you weren't quick enough to say, "You have a beautiful daughter, I'll help you shop for a bigger shotgun," saying nothing was a good choice.


As a mother of daughters, I wish I could like this more than once. Good call Laura!

~ST


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

Laura Zone 5 said:


> What a bizzare thing to ask?
> 
> IF the friend is female, and asking you, a male, it could be because she thinks you are 'staring' and wants to inquire "innocently" to confirm or deny her feelings that you are being inappropriate.
> 
> ...





lazyBum said:


> Bingo. Sometimes his relationship with his daughters seems too close. But he really is a good dad.


This was lazyBum's response and he included my quote in bold above.



vicker said:


> Who's mind is more wrecked by porn, the ones who automatically assume he is a lecherous pervert, or the fellow who notices that his daughter has boobs and comments about that to his best friend?


Vicker, I gave several possible reasons why a man would ask a question such as he did, and close with "too many varibles, too little info"
LB replied and quoted what I have in bold.

Short of having a degree in how porn affects the human brain, I have done a spit ton of research on this topic. 
When it comes time for me to write a research paper in psychology 101, I will most certainly earn an A if I write said paper on "The Effects of Pornography on the Human Brain".

Habitual viewing of porn re-wires the human brain.
It physiologically changes. 
Wrong connections are created, and what is normal and natural becomes abnormal and unnatural.

The guy who walks down the street, and double takes a woman who's cleavage is purposefully exposed, shows a lack of self control.
The guy who asks 'odd questions' such as the above, the guy who 'sexualize's' every conversation, etc? 
Those are BIG RED FLAGS. Especially if he is known to indulge, enjoy, entertain porn.

Vick I am not a prude, sex is a beautiful gift given to a husband and wife, by God, whose gifts are unmatchable.
Man has taken that gift (man as a generic term) and perverted it.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

I agree with you 100%. But I think it swings both ways too. That somehow we sometimes seem to think that those things are the norm. I spent the night at my buddy's last night, and tried a little experiment that you might find interesting. His daughter was up when I came out this morning and we had a bit of conversation and were watching TV. She was wearing a T shirt and running shorts, and laying on the couch in front and adjacent to me. I got to thinking about this discussion and tried to look at her in a more sexual kind of way. Lol! I could not stare at her! I actually could not force myself to keep my eyes on her long enough to stare. I thought that was pretty interesting. 
Of course I know plenty of people that seem to sexualize everything, and to them it is just normal. I can honestly say that I have never said a crude thing to a female in my life, but I have witnessed others do it many times, and I have known women who seem to like it, and are just as crude.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

I've been talking today to my buddy about this discussion, and we've hit on the issue in this thread that irritates both him and me, and we've both faced this issue in our own lives, "sometimes his relationship with his daughter seems too close". Lazybum and others seem to have a problem, and draw unfounded conclusions from men who's relationships with their daughters "seem a little too close". It hits a nerve with me, and it hits a nerve with him. That, to both of us, seems to be sick. Neither of us remember ever discussing our daughters' physical attributes, but can easily see how we might have. We've been friends far longer than we've had daughters and have talked about everything imaginable. I, for one, have had to defend myself against accusations of having an inappropriate relationship with my daughter, and it is a sick world where that is so easily hinted at or assumed. Maybe the media is the worse kind of porn.
ETA:
And, it really ----es me off when it seems people think that a man's love for his children is somehow not valid, or less valid than a mother's, or not more important than his "uncontrollable" sexual urges and lurid mind.


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

Yep, I have, and the left one is a little bigger, but pointier than the right. It kinda aims toward the outside too.:whistlin:

She does look a little more sexy,,,,,,,with clothes on,,,,,,,,,,,


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

Vicker, you know people's skewed perceptions like that are a reflection of what's inside them, not you.


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## DEKE01 (Jul 17, 2013)

katydidagain said:


> Cheers to you also. Do you even know what this thread was about? And where it traveled? Not trying to be mean but we were discussing the appropriateness of "best" friends talking about our children's "equipment" and not how grown up they were at aged 4. I do get it because I was here from the get go.


Perhaps I was overly subtle; my mistake. My comment was in response to a child having absolute knowledge of what their parents would say or do when the child was not around. My daughter grew up and wised up to learn better. I thought it was something all kids do eventually.


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## Guest (Jul 27, 2013)

My best friend said to me one day years ago, " have you noticed my dd's breast size?"
Of course I had.. The girl was practically falling forward when she walked..
We had a discussion about what her DD thought, and what her parents thought..

There was certainly nothing demeaning or sexual about the conversation.. My friend had serious concerns.. 

I fail to see how the identical conversation between best friends who happen to be men somehow evolves into deviant behavior..


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## arcticow (Oct 8, 2006)

Maybe because in our society men are suspect by default if even 1person imagines something is wrong or is personally offended for whatever reason...


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

I stay away from my GD because of that. IF we kiss, she bends over so she wont touch me with them as, I guess somebodies told her that she shouldn't do that with people in generally men.


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## willow_girl (Dec 7, 2002)

> My best friend said to me one day years ago, " have you noticed my dd's breast size?"
> Of course I had.. The girl was practically falling forward when she walked..
> We had a discussion about what her DD thought, and what her parents thought..
> 
> ...


I think it feels less controversial because the mothers are of the same gender as the daughter, so no abnormal sexual interest is perceived.

Imagine if two women were discussing their developing sons' penis sizes ... that would seem a little weird, wouldn't it?! :hrm:


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## frogmammy (Dec 8, 2004)

Generally, boobs are a little easier to see.

Mon


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

willow_girl said:


> I think it feels less controversial because the mothers are of the same gender as the daughter, so no abnormal sexual interest is perceived.
> 
> Imagine if two women were discussing their developing sons' penis sizes ... that would seem a little weird, wouldn't it?! :hrm:


Thank you, now we are getting somewhere. :bandwagon:

I was a size D in grade school, and I can tell you it was not a good experience for me. I can also tell you that my father never ever talked about it to his friends. Ever. :umno:


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## DEKE01 (Jul 17, 2013)

willow_girl said:


> I think it feels less controversial because the mothers are of the same gender as the daughter, so no abnormal sexual interest is perceived.
> 
> Imagine if two women were discussing their developing sons' penis sizes ... that would seem a little weird, wouldn't it?! :hrm:


Funny, that reminds me...Sitting in the living room of a friend many years ago, I overheard his wife discussing with a fem neighbor the problem member of the friend's young son. The doctor had told her she could do nothing or he could operate to straighten it. The mom was worried the kid in later years would get teased in gym class - back then all the guys showered together after class. 

Was it inappropriate for them to have this conversation where I could over hear it, sure. Was it a dirty, titillating conversation in any way, not in my opinion. The woman was worried about her son's mental well being.


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## DEKE01 (Jul 17, 2013)

cindilu said:


> Thank you, now we are getting somewhere. :bandwagon:
> 
> I was a size D in grade school, and I can tell you it was not a good experience for me. I can also tell you that my father never ever talked about it to his friends. Ever. :umno:


You can tell us that, but you can't know it unless you spent every moment of your life with him. Perhaps you are projecting your own bad experience onto this situation. And perhaps you are not giving your dad the credit he deserves. If he knew you were unhappy with your situation, a loving, concerned father might have wanted to talk with a friend who had lived thru a similar experience to ask for guidance on how to help you deal.


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

DEKE01 said:


> You can tell us that, but you can't know it unless you spent every moment of your life with him. Perhaps you are projecting your own bad experience onto this situation. And perhaps you are not giving your dad the credit he deserves. If he knew you were unhappy with your situation, a loving, concerned father might have wanted to talk with a friend who had lived thru a similar experience to ask for guidance on how to help you deal.


My dad is pretty much old school and talk like that would not have ever happened. Nor was he concerned about my size. He prolly actually didn't have a clue. We were to busy fishing or hunting.


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## Shygal (May 26, 2003)

katydidagain said:


> DS was born old according to his nursery school caregivers. Male walked at just under 9 months and was potty trained COMPLETELY when he was 22 months. And he knew things that spooked a lot of folks. If you want a bragging match, I'm on. Otherwise not sure why you commented unless you are are about to brag about her developing womanhood or say you never would or will.



You really didn't get at all what Deke was saying, did you lol


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

This has been a really great discussion! I love these. I've been waiting for Willow to weigh in, and frankly am disappointed  not wordy at all. And Shy too. I guess a cat has got their tongues.


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## Guest (Jul 28, 2013)

willow_girl said:


> I think it feels less controversial because the mothers are of the same gender as the daughter, so no abnormal sexual interest is perceived.
> 
> Imagine if two women were discussing their developing sons' penis sizes ... that would seem a little weird, wouldn't it?! :hrm:


How and when would a best female friend EVER have first hand sight knowledge of a "developing son's " penis???
The question, " Have you noticed Kenny's penis lately?" Would be, indeed, weird.

OTOH breasts are noticeable to anyone at any time who has clear vision.


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## Rick (May 10, 2002)

bostonlesley said:


> How and when would a best female friend EVER have first hand sight knowledge of a "developing son's " penis???
> The question, " Have you noticed Kenny's penis lately?" Would be, indeed, weird.
> 
> OTOH breasts are noticeable to anyone at any time who has clear vision.



My mind immediately went to : Have you ever heard of a male considering penis reduction surgery?

Time to go pull some weeds LOL.


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## wr (Aug 10, 2003)

I find it interesting that each comment relating to how someone's father would not have discussed something like this seems to be followed by, 'my parents would have discussed it together.' That's great, as long as there is another parent to discuss the subject with but as a single parent, with my ex nowhere to be found, I found it quite helpful to discuss sensitive subjects with close friends. Based on that, I would have probably answered the original question with, 'why do you ask,' because I would have felt that the father may have had some concerns that he felt needed answers. 

Laura Zone 5, I realize that you feel porn has caused a problem in your marriage but that doesn't mean all men live for porn and not all men objectify women for their pornographic pleasure so I do feel it's a huge reach to assume that porn has anything at all to do with the original question.


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

WR: I threw that out as an option and the OP confirmed that it was PART of the make up of the individual asking......(post 66)

No, not all men are sicko perverts. 
I am raising one right now, that proves, there ARE good men in the world!:thumb:

My reply was because the OP said that pornography was part of the 'friends' life.:happy2:


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## wr (Aug 10, 2003)

Laura Zone 5, lazy bum, who indicated that he (?) felt that sometimes the relationship between father and daughter might be a little too close but never confirms that it has anything to do with porn and I have a feeling that this father may have used a clumsy opening line to have an honest conversation about something that went nowhere because of the non response to the question. There are many good men out there and some of them do occasionally read Playboy and Penthouse with absolutely no ill effects but you're going to need some time and perspective before you come to understand that.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

I wonder if the op has a daughter or children? Perhaps that was his friend's mistake.


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## MichaelZ (May 21, 2013)

Just plain inappropriate. I don't know if I could say anything in that situation.


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## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

lazyBum said:


> When your best friend asks you if you've noticed how big his barely illegal daughters boobs are, do you?
> A: Say yes, they are very nice.
> B: Say no, haven't noticed.
> or
> ...


Am I the only one still giggling over "make motor boat noises"? Ha!

Re porn porn addiction, I had this discussion with my sons. I told them I have no squicky with nakedness, sex. My problem with porn is the slope of increasing meat--the human with the parts attached is not seen as a human anymore, YET THEY ARE HUMAN. The loss of Namaste. You lose your sense of Namaste and you yourself become inhuman--which brings all sorts of consequences.

I have a relative that has a porn addiction and has handled it the church way. While he gets cred for being righteous and pure and "in control" of his appetite, he still has not understood the core problem, the lack of his sense of Namaste in all people. The nakedness etc is just details, and the taboo is just cultural. He still looks at my boobage and hates himself for it and treats me like a Jezebel. Do I cover myself with a blanket and cow to his thing? Nope, that keeps me as meat. 

Love drives out fear.

PS I dont' go round topless neither (at least around him ha) just sayin I dont' burkha to "help" him keep his righteous


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## Oxankle (Jun 20, 2003)

People express themselves in the language they know. "I be's at work by sebben in the mawnin" is perfectly good language in parts of the US. 

Put it in context. It is quite likely the man meant "....is growing up; if you've noticed, she's getting breasts and a nice figure. I don't know how I'm going to handle that--hard for a man to discuss growing up with a daughter". 

I don't envy the man--he's got some tough years ahead if he's going to turn out a happy, well-adjusted, clean-living and successful daughter.

It will be even tougher if he has no one at all to discuss his problems with. He needs one of his daughter's aunts or a grandma. 

Ox


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## Shygal (May 26, 2003)

Its not much easier for a mom to discuss with a daughter either lol


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

yup, I saw my DD trying to discuss it with my GD. She gets too wrought up in it tho, rather than being rational, and listening, and taking her hints and cues from what GD says.


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