# Need information...



## Farmerwilly2 (Oct 14, 2006)

My daughter has decided to home school our grandson. This comes out of left field since he just started preschool and LOVES the interaction of the other children. Am asking what type of certification does my daughter need to make sure he is getting the education he needs. He is an only child, very bright but I worry about his "social skills". Please give me your thoughts on the subject and steer me in the direction I need to go.
Mrs. Farmer Willy


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## Ernie (Jul 22, 2007)

So ... don't worry about the social skills. They develop as the child interacts with adults who HAVE social skills, not from interacting with other children who don't have social skills. And as for certification, there is none and nor should there be. You'll be able to tell that the child is getting what they need from interacting with him. We do not need a standardized "stamp of approval" to be placed on all educational practices. 

Second, and I'm trying to tell you this out of love, he [/I]isn't your child_. It's your grandson. You already made your decisions on child-rearing. Now it's time to be supportive of your daughter's decision.

Your post could have been written by one of my parents when we started homeschooling almost 8 years ago. My children have never spent one day in public school or daycare. Both of my parents questioned our ability to do it, which was as laughable as it was insulting. They felt the children wouldn't get enough socialization and would miss out on those fun school experiences. Then they also felt the children wouldn't grow up and be able to get good jobs.

Now they agree it was a good decision and they are very proud of their grandchildren, but it took years of my wife and I educating THE GRANDPARENTS before they understood enough to know that Big Government doesn't need to do everything for us and that a parent is the BEST CHOICE for educating their own child._


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## hanlonfive (Jun 20, 2003)

First off, I agree with the previous two posts. Do not worry about "social skills" that WILL NOT be a problem. Majority of homeschooling kids understand how to interact with various age groups on a much better scale than their public school counterparts. Your grandson will learn to be family dependent than peer dependent. My boys have been homeschooled all their lives and I get compliments all the time about how polite and outgoing they are! They had been "exposed" to the "real" world growing up and will be productive adults in the community. They can hold down a job and have lots of friends........AND if you were to ask them if they ever regretted me homeschooling them, they would say NO. Needless to say, their friends are envious of them I have a link below of my blog. Feel free to browse it as I frequently post about my kids and our homeschooling adventure.

Secondly, your daughter doesn't need any certification but you can go here:
http://www.hslda.org/Default.asp?bhcp=1 to see what requirements are needed for your state. I personally don't agree with much of what HSLDA stands for BUT I refer people to that site only for them to see what their state requirements are. LOL 

Lastly, Grandpa and Grandma hang on cuz this is going to be such an exciting wonderous adventure!!!!! I bet in a year if we chat again you will have a totally different outlook. Good luck to you and yours!!!!!

Peace and blessings,

Kelli


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## Tracy Rimmer (May 9, 2002)

I would like to reiterate what other posters have said -- I know you're concerned, but he is *NOT* your child, and the decisions rest with your daughter and the child's father, not you. Please remember this, as a great deal of homeschooling success lies with the support of the extended family. If your daughter knows she has your support and encouragement, she is going to do an even better job of educating your grandson. Trust me on this.

Having said that, "requirements" and regulations vary from state to state and province to province. Check out your local HSLDA site for information specific to your area.

As grandparents, you and FarmerWilly have SO MUCH to offer this child in terms of education -- please be aware of this, and if you can, support your daughter's family in their decision by offering your knowledge to them. Spending time with grandpa and grandma learning how YOU do things is as much a part of a child's well-rounded social education as playing with other five year olds. 

Homeschooling is a viable, wonderful option for those families willing to put in the time and effort required to do it well. Many universities and other post-secondary education institutions actively seek homeschooled students, because they know that these kids are, as a general rule, ACTIVE learners who are willing to and capable of taking charge of their own education. 

I would also suggest that you attend a homeschooling conference with your daughter's family. Take in some sessions for "new" home educators. Being an active participant in such a session will give you a much better understanding of the value of home education than we can give you here.

Good luck, and relax. If your daughter is a good mother, she'll be a good homeschooling parent.


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## ovsfarm (Jan 14, 2003)

Academically, homeschool children are reported to score very well on the standardized tests. The one on one attention provides an excellent opportunity to tailor a child's education to their exact pace and interest. Your dd will probably have the choice of creating all her own curriculum or going to the other end of the spectrum and purchasing it all on DVD or satellite download. Most of us are somewhere in the middle, picking and choosing from the hundreds of options available. Many well-known colleges and universities now welcome homeschooled applicants.

Socially, most homeschool children do quite well. They seem more comfortable interacting with people of all ages, as opposed to a peer group of only 8 year olds, or only third graders. Older homeschoolers are often very active in their communities, taking classes at a local community college while still at high school level, volunteering, and working or running their own businesses.

There will be tough spots. Please do not blame all these on homeschooling, always ask yourself if your grandchild might be experiencing the same or worse problems at public school. If you have concerns, keep them to yourself or discuss them calmly with your dd. DO NOT feel free to talk about them to other relatives or neighbors. (You may have noticed how specific we are about things that will undermine the homeschooling experience. I suspect most of us are posting from personal knowledge. It really hurts to have to buck the system, learn a new method of interacting with your child, deal with your own fears and concerns, and on top of all that, have a relative carping at you about which they really know very little.) Pray for your dd and dgs and offer to help as much as you can.


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## sheepish (Dec 9, 2006)

My daughter and I were discussing socialization and homeschooling yesterday. On the basis of observation of her 5 homeschooled kids we were happy to report that they, like public schooled kids, learn to deal with a lot of social situations.

They learn about bullying from both directions, with the added benefit that a caring adult is always around to see that it doesn't go too far. They learn about being "politically correct" and not calling names, by observing the immediate impact of their mean statements on people that they care about.

They learn about the need for cooperation and helping those less able without a formal lesson plan on the subject. 

They learn to be creative in getting their way when it conflicts with another family member's preferences. This leads to compromise and win-win solutions, because they will be dealing with the other person day and night for a good part of their life. They learn skills of competition, negotiation and concilliation in the context of family dynamics. These skills are readily transferred to outside situations.


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## Use Less (Nov 8, 2007)

In NY you need to register with your local school district & have your curriculum approved. Your child may need to take some of the standardized tests required by NYS. Where I worked, they invited the kids in on a particular day and provided a teacher's aide to administer and proctor. I am a strong proponent of public school, but not opposed to home-schooling. It is one more thing where the community needs to stay alert, though. I have seen families where I had questions about the stability, or worse, of a parent. One mother eventually jailed for doing/dealing drugs "home-schooled" her 3 for a while. My guess was she couldn't be bothered with waking, feeding, clothingor getting them to the bus stop. Her son is in jail for infant abuse, and one daughter had a baby at 16. Another family "home-schooled" their older girls, but mostly they seemed to be doing the house chores and taking care of large no. of younger siblings. There are all kinds of user/abusers/predators out there, so it shouldn't be overlooked that someone home-schools for their own dispicable purposes.


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## Tracy Rimmer (May 9, 2002)

Use Less said:


> I have seen families where I had questions about the stability, or worse, of a parent. One mother eventually jailed for doing/dealing drugs "home-schooled" her 3 for a while. My guess was she couldn't be bothered with waking, feeding, clothingor getting them to the bus stop. Her son is in jail for infant abuse, and one daughter had a baby at 16. Another family "home-schooled" their older girls, but mostly they seemed to be doing the house chores and taking care of large no. of younger siblings. There are all kinds of user/abusers/predators out there, so it shouldn't be overlooked that someone home-schools for their own dispicable purposes.


So, she wasn't homeschooling, was she? She was keeping her kids home for her own purposes, and was in essence, abusing her kids (in exposing them to that sort of situation). 

That's a parenting issue, not a home education issue. It bothers me when people confuse the two. It's like saying that PS is a problem because some kids show up late, in January, with no coat, mittens, or lunch. It's not an "education" issue then -- it's a parenting issue, as it should be. 

What you're suggesting is that the school system should serve as a "control" to identify social issues. What most homeschoolers are saying is, that shouldn't have anything to do with our choices as PARENTS for what is best for our children.

Those of us who ARE doing it, and doing it well, investing time, energy and -- at times -- blood, sweat and tears -- into delivering the BEST education possible to our kids really get upset by those parents who abuse the system and give us a bad name. The truth is, though, that those same "parents" would abuse any system they were in. Homeschooling doesn't turn crappy parents into good parents, but it can give good parents a bad name, unfairly.


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## Use Less (Nov 8, 2007)

Public school teachers would like to TEACH, to kids who come to school fed, clothed, well-mannered, and with a positive attitude to work, study and achievement instilled at home. Many of us have never been happy that schhools feel they need to take on parental-style duties, including breakfast at school, after-school childcare, homework rooms, etc., etc. But when those things don't happen in the home, the child can't learn well. These days teachers are required by law to report suspicions of child abuse or neglect. Maybe that saves a child here & there from a terrible life. The law doesn't check whether a person electing to home-school is mis-using his or her children; I understand that it should not. No one here is supposed to be considered guilty until proven innocent. Still tough for people who teach because they really love the kids and the work. Some of the best parents to be actively involved with public school, who would send their children well ready to learn, be role models for other parents and advocates for all kids, are the ones who keep their kids home. Sue


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## Cara (May 9, 2002)

Sue, I have had that conversation with my MIL (who shares your name  ) and as a homeschool family, we just decided that we were unwilling to risk our children for the sake of the public school system. We have more issues with the ps than just social ones, but either way, our intention is to do the best we can with our four and hope that others do the same. I do understand the point, though, if all the "good" parents (the ones who would be involved) pull their kids, that leaves a pretty scary future for those left, especially the teachers and staff.


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## Farmerwilly2 (Oct 14, 2006)

I have had the chance to meet children that have been home schooled and obviously known children that were public school educated. Personally I'm all for home schooling IF the home is able to educate the child in a productive manner. My DD and SIL do not have that type of home. I'm not sure where they are going to insert my grandsons education, maybe between the screaming and yelling? And it IS my business as a grandparent since the child has had to live in my home for an extended time and may very well have to again. I wonder when he will have time for all of those social interactions with one parent ( my DD) working full time and my SIL's sleeping, playing video games or drinking? I'm guessing when my SIL finishes draining his unemployement, he will start working...therefore my grandson will AGAIN be under my roof. What do we do then? I truly appreciate all of the responses I recieved and will pass them onto my DD/SIL, but I know my abilities to teach a child is nil, so you see the problem IS mine. Be very careful when answering a question that you do not read into the situation wrong. Just answering the question is enough.
Mrs Farmer Willy


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## Tracy Rimmer (May 9, 2002)

I'm sorry your family is going through this, and I can understand your frustration. You should be prepared, however, when posting on an internet forum, to not only receive an answer to the original question, but also commentary on the situation. It's simply the way the medium works. If this offends you, perhaps a public forum isn't the place to post such a question. 

Here, you have many people who have had many different experiences with home education. I, myself, WAS your daughter, so far as my MIL was concerned. I wasn't "qualified" to teacher "her" grandchildren. Nearly eight years on, I have two classically educated children, one who was labeled "learning disabled", performing in the 95th to 105th percentile in national tests, who are involved in volunteer activities, interact with all age groups appropriately and comfortably, and are hard working kids with more ambition than most people realize that 12 and 14 year olds are capable of. According to my MIL, I have no business doing this, and I'm "ruining" them. 

So understand where these "opinions" come from. People are going to offer viewpoints other than those you might want to hear -- and one of them is, unless you have legal custody of the child, you should stay out of it, be supportive of THE CHILD and respect the fact that you have no say in the decision unless and until you officially take over the parenting role. You do, however, have the ability and right to say "no" should your daughter wish for you to take over this responsibility in the future.

Several people answered your question for you --- consult with your state's chapter of the HSLDA. You were even given the link to get to their internet site, where any and ALL information you would need, in the form of your state's regulations, is available.


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