# FAC - Oct. 2012



## Marchwind (May 10, 2002)

October, yikes this year is moving fast! And no I am not beginning a count down to "the holidays". I'll let someone else do that 

This is the Fiber Arts Chat (FAC). This is where we come to touch base with each other. We talk about all things not necessarily fiber related here. If you are super busy come here and just pop in and say, hi! We do tend to miss our people if they don't post for a while. At the very least just soon and say a quick "Hi!" 

If you are new or someone who usually reads but doesn't contribute, here is the perfect place to introduce yourselves. We love all our new people. If you have any questions and need help or want to offer advice please don't be shy. You can always start a new thread but if your aren't ready for the big time slip in here and tell us a bit about yourself. We are NOT an exclusive club.

I'm working on two knitting projects right now with a zillion in my head. I'll take pictures later to post. Spinning up yarn for my DIL's sweater, that probably won't even get onto the needles until later this winter or not until spring. I'm starting a knitting group here, a bunch of my friends from the dog park. It will only be a once a month thing but I hope to enable lots of people


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## lathermaker (May 7, 2010)

I'm spinning like a crazy woman trying to get enough yarn to sell next month at an Art Festival. Six of us from my fiber group went together on the booth fee. Last year was my first time trying this and I was astounded at how well my hand-spun sold. This year I'm going to be better prepared with a wider selection.

What type of yarn is selling in YOUR Area?
Last year, the weirder, the better. I had some that was spun out of "ugly bats". It was lumpy bumpy and "I" thought BUTT ugly. Had 3 skeins of the stuff. One lady fell in love with it and bought all three. She said she was going to make a wall hanging out of it.....


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## Falls-Acre (May 13, 2009)

Ahhh, October. It's one of my all-time favorite months of the year! If I wasn't so dang busy the whole time though. I'm not of a religion that most folks around these parts are (including my own family), so my enjoyment of the various holidays is different for me. All Hallows eve is big and I've passed that love to my children. So building up to it is almost bigger than their winter holiday. Our decorating for Halloween is always big and elaborate, and we love it!

That means that every week-end between now and Halloween has been planned and plotted by myself and the kids as sort of mini-celebrations with different fall festivals. One of my favorites is the visit to Cestari Farms fall festival. I love touring their mills!

Of course there's still business at home too. Canning apples and pumpkins, finishing out the garden and winterizing it. After digging the root crops, I plan to turn the turkeys out into the garden first to clean it up. They'll love that! Plus I still need to check on our bees and harvest the honey.

Somewhere in all this I need to get to scouring some of the fiber I already have to prep for spinning, because with the temps already dropping, I have a sneaking suspicion this is going to be a BAD winter for us! We haven't had a really cold winter in a few years. In fact, last year was almost balmy! But I think that trend may be at an end this year.


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## Callieslamb (Feb 27, 2007)

I'm with WIHH....just a few more outside things to do and then......fiber heaven. I have so many things I want to try. But first- the chicken coop and run, lawn, sweet potatoes.....


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## Miz Mary (Feb 15, 2003)

AHHHHHHHH..... Pumpkin Spice coffee creamer !!! LOVE this time of year ! 

The front of my house repairs are almost done ... new windows , new door .... new concrete slab outside ..... 

Getting the wood in and stacked .. DH is the splitter , I am the stacker ....

Been trying to fix up this old spinning wheel ... makes yarn so I'm good, just is temperamental ...... 

Canned up a bunch of jams, preserves , pears , apples , applesauce .... next is dehydrating the rest of the apples & pears ! 

FIL is getting older .... ( DH & I live with him , care for him ) he is 72 ... not remembering things, not understanding things ... I'm SO glad we are here , and he's not in an assisted living arrangement ! 

Only what, 12 weeks until Christmas ?!?! Yikes ! I better git busy !


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## IowaLez (Mar 6, 2006)

Well, I am not in the mood for any more harvesting from my garden, but I'm trying to get all my pathetic 2012 crop of potatoes dug before Indian Summer is gone (200 feet of rows). My body just doesn't keep up with all my plans. I can only do 15 feet at a time by myself.

I made two double-cream Camembert cheeses that are aging, with their white moldy rinds, in containers in a fridge turned up to 52 degrees. 

I'm leaving my hops this year, already have a freezer full from last two years 

I am sick and tired of eating, canning, and saving seed from the tomatoes. 35 kinds. 

The livingroom has been full of grocery bags full of dried pole bean pods to shuck for seed saving. And full of tomatoes for photographing for selling their seeds thru www.Restorationseeds , a network of growers. And 25 wet paper towels with tomato seeds spread out on them to dry and put away, on the (old) carpet. And then I got started making my own vinegars, in gallon jars, red wine, white wine and banana/pear wine so far.And don't forget my 35, mostly large, orchids that have to get watered in the bathtub once a week or more.

I'm interested in doing so many things... most of them messy. Honey gets really miffed at me sometimes about it, I take up the whole house with projects.

And now I get to spend this week bagging, boxing and shipping 36 boxes of mohair. We are going to make an appt with the Post Mistress to mail them. The new scale will arrive today, along with the boxes we ordered for this from ULine. I'm not really complaining, tho! It's fiber in my hands! I washed up a handful of dirty mohair locks last night, and they came out real nice. Mohair cleans up so much easier than wool!

Now I'm tired from thinking about all this stuff.


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## mamajohnson (Nov 27, 2002)

Wow! October got here way too fast! I do love it though. Right now I am enjoying 64*. I get to put on my new shawl from the KAL!! 
We spent the last 2 (maybe 3!) weeks decluttering the house and cabin!! WOW! I sorta got wiped out. I almost wish I had before pictures...well, maybe not. lol!
It had really gotten out of hand. All the "I will think about that later" stuff was stashed in the cabin. I could barely get in there to open the freezer! So, we cleaned, and burned, and freecycled, and trashed and recycled....
Now I have my sewing machine, a large table, DH's oil paints, easels etc, and my huge stash of fabric along with a little bit of storage and yarn stash in the cabin. It is semi-orderly. I need probably another week to get that organized.

The house is...awesome! So open, and decluttered, and clean... I love it!
Here are a few pics...

The (still messy!) cabin. Still needs some organization - and the hunting overalls need to find a new home! lol!









My decluttered house! If you look close enough, you can see where I ripped out the bar, right by the kitchen table. :teehee: We need to fix the floor tile there...(please ignore the laundry!)









And looking the other direction....









Other than that, we don't have much else going on, other than the daily job hunt. And that isn't going so well. There is so much competition for every job, well, it's hard to even get an interview. I have put in some winter veggies, some greens, radishes, carrots, etc... so we shouldn't go hungry. And we have quiet a bit of meat on the hoof and wing...

I am really looking forward to winter. It is my favorite time of year!


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## Marchwind (May 10, 2002)

Looks great MamaJ but then again we didn't get to see the before pictures


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## Callieslamb (Feb 27, 2007)

Nice clean up and organization work! I love it when I go through the house and get it all organized. If only it would stay that way for a few days.

We hauled in the last of the hay last night. I can't tell you how exciting it was to get up this morning and realize - IT'S ALL in the BARN!!!! No more hay worries for us (or lifting or hay down my shirt). 

My garden is finished when I say it's finished and it's getting close. I quit on tomatoes 2 weeks ago. I've tried giving the rest of them away and everyone else must be tired of canning too. I'm off to pick more red raspberries this morning. DH took off in my car today and it has the wire for the chicken run in the trunk. Alas..... So maybe I'll finally get the water trough cleaned out too and the empty spots in the garden tilled.


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## Marchwind (May 10, 2002)

Yea one of my FB friends said it was 80 degrees on Sunday in Bemidji and they are expecting 6 inches of snow tomorrow. I miss that weather.


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## Miz Mary (Feb 15, 2003)

Wind in Her Hair said:


> *MizMary* - which pumpkin spice creamer do you like? There is CoffeeMate Pumpkin Spice (powdered) and International Delights Pumpkin PIE Spice (liquid)-both of which are IMPOSSIBLE to find here locally.
> 
> The powdered CoffeeMate tastes a little bit "fishy' to me this year. :yuck:
> 
> ...


I use the liquid .... the International Delight ! A dollop in hot cocoa is delicious too !! 

MamaJ, doesnt it feel good to get the house all organized ?!? You did a fantastic job !

It's now getting down in the 30's here at night, daytime is a beautiful 60-70 degrees ! I just put away my herbs and flowers .... does anybody overwinter thier herbs ?! This will be my first attempt .... I have Rosemary , oregano , and geraniums under a table, covered in cardboard ... I brought my stevia and bay in the house ... we will see !


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## netskyblue (Jul 25, 2012)

Can I pop in and say hi? I'm new here.

Miz Mary - since Oregano and Rosemary are native to mild Mediterranean climates, I would think you could grow them indoors just fine, on a windowsill. I don't know about the other things, though.


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## netskyblue (Jul 25, 2012)

Ah, well - I'm from Iowa, I'll be 29 in a few weeks, and my biggest goal right now is to save up to buy a house (which is probably going to take another 5 years or so of working two jobs). I just learned to knit - thanks to everybody who answered my questions, and I'm working on my very first project, a ribbed scarf. Hope to have it done by the time I need a scarf!


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## Pearl B (Sep 27, 2008)

Hi and Welcome netskyblue! Scarfs are fun, good luck with your project!


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## Marchwind (May 10, 2002)

Netskyblue welcome to The Fold! 

MizMary I have grown Rosemary for years. I generally either keep it in a pot and move it inside for the winter or dig it up and put it into a pot. Lately I have had great success with it, I have actually had mine bloom for the last 5 years  Now I know people who live in Northern Cali and they have rosemary that grown outside as a shrub. When I lived in England they have rosemary and Bay growing like any other shrub or tree.


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## IowaLez (Mar 6, 2006)

I have a 3 year old rosemary plant in a 5 gallon pot that I keep indoors each Winter just fine. And Oregano is hardy in NE Iowa, (zone 5B) I have a big patch of it. I mulch my kitchen garden with straw each Winter, and it's on the South side of the house, protected from the worst wind.


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## Miz Mary (Feb 15, 2003)

Thanks guys ! I think I'll bring my potted Rosemary inside for winter then ! 

WELCOME Netskyblue !!


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## weever (Oct 1, 2006)

Hello--welcome to netskyblue. Nice to meetcha. 

Fiber festival last weekend. Saw Caren. Briefly. At least I think it was Caren, but I'm horrible with names (and ashamed to admit it). We met at the Allegan festival, but then I met 3-5 HT people at Allegan, and their friends. Caren, was it you I talked to on Saturday? Darn, I hate forgetting names. And was it you we bought the spinning wheel from about 4 years ago on our way up to the festival?

Was mostly chained to my booth, but I had a great time anyway. Lots of wonderful people. No photos, though...sorry!

We have been/are in the thick of harvesting dry beans. So glad we are getting a harvest, even after our very dry summer. 

Crocheting cowls lately, in my not-so-spare time. Other than that, no fiber.


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## Callieslamb (Feb 27, 2007)

Howdy, Netskyblue. Ah...to be young again!

Rain today. I hope it doesn't stop the fall colors. They have been beautiful this year. Just a few more days and I'll have summer chores behind me.

WIHH- I'm feeling for you with that kind of snow on the trees!


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## mamajohnson (Nov 27, 2002)

Marchwind said:


> Looks great MamaJ but then again we didn't get to see the before pictures


 There is a reason for that! lol!

Imagine clutter....lots of clutter.....and a HUGE desk in this room! And clutter....did I mention that? OH, and 3 extra computers in various stages of disrepair....and more clutter! 

Wow, this has been an awesome - freeing - experience. :bouncy:


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## mamajohnson (Nov 27, 2002)

Welcome netskyblue! Glad ya stopped in! Yay on the scarf!!! We would love to see pics when your done. 

I have a huge rosemary bush out here, but being in Texas I guess it doesn't get as cold as ya'll do Miz Mary. 
WIHH - I may want to try your hot coco recipe...even down to the nap. hehe!

We are having such great weather. upper 50's at night, and 70's during the day. Almost got to 80 today. I have some winter greens starting and looking great. My animals are all feeling frisky, and the replamin is doing wonders on my goats, they are finally looking good. The drought was so rough last year that they have had a hard time recovering. My alpaca are all such sweeties - especially when they see the feed bucket lol! If I keep it close to me I get nibbles and kisses and neck hugs from them. And I never can help stealing a little rub into their fiber...ohhh so soft!


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## Marchwind (May 10, 2002)

Miz Mary, make sure you keep your Rosemary plant in the sunniest window you have and water it regularly. They can handle the cold, I think that is why mine blooms, I keep my house very cool in the winter, about 60 degrees.
Here is a close up of the flowers on my Rosemary, just beautiful in the dead of winter

close-up of blooms by mymerripu, on Flickr


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## netskyblue (Jul 25, 2012)

Marchwind that's beautiful! I didn't even know rosemary did bloom.


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## Miz Mary (Feb 15, 2003)

WOW Marchie !! I didnt know they bloomed !! They look like little iris' !! Mine had found a winter spot in the house , and I'll be watching for blloms !


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## Marchwind (May 10, 2002)

I know! The first time it bloomed I was so shocked, had the plant for years with nothing. The following year both of mine bloomed. They really are beautiful and tiny little flowers. And yes, they do look like little snapdragons or Irises. The colors are what grabbed me the most. That dark green of the Rosemary leaves and they french blue of the flowers. Those have to be two of my favorite colors.

BTW, that was a west facing window


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## Caren (Aug 4, 2005)

I am seriously cold I might have to turn on the heat!


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## Marchwind (May 10, 2002)

I gave in today and turned mine on  The animals were colder than I was. It's 45 here right now.


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## mamajohnson (Nov 27, 2002)

56 here! It is wonderful! Got down to 49 last night. I am loving it. 

Here is a little something I knitted up. DS 12 grabbed it up to put on his cup of hot cocoa. It is now *his* lol!










I think I want to knit more of these little things. Great way to use up lots of yarn leftovers.


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## Marchwind (May 10, 2002)

MamaJ pattern?


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## Pigeon Lady (Apr 4, 2004)

Welcome netskyblue! Great to have you here.

Mamaj, your house clean up looks great. It is a good feeling isn't it. So difficult to control clutter when you have hobbies though. It is for me anyway.

Love the mug warmer!

Today was one of those days. It was going through my mind "Those pigs are getting to be a real pain. They're doing a number on the fences, I'll be so glad when Ken butchers them, it'll be a load off my mind and one less chore to think about...blah, blah blah.. 

I glance out the window and there's a white pig wandering down our dirt road. Then another pig, a red one walking behind it, Geninne! Dh and son were at church, our one neighbor is on crutches so no help there. I was out in the road with a bucket of feed yelling at the top of my lungs, "Geninne"!!! They were heading off into the wild blue. Finally she turned and came charging back. Man, those things can run! After hearing about the guy in Oregon who was eaten by his pigs last week I wasn't feeling too brave, so I took off as fast I could, -trying not to spill the feed bucket- with both pigs hot on my heals. They weren't even interested in the feed, they had that wild eyed look about them. Or maybe it was my imagination. I ran into the house and left them to it. Had to call the church and have them interupt the service to tell the guys to come home because the pigs were loose. The congregation got a kick out of that.

Ken fixed the fence, yelled "C'mon!" and both pigs ambled through the gate and back into the pen. Butchering day got moved up to next week. I'll be so glad.

Pauline


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## Pearl B (Sep 27, 2008)

Even though its Az its been cold enough here, usually 3am-7am that I run my little heater long enough to get the bedroom warm.

MamaJ the house and the coffe mug warmer look great!!

Pigeon Lady- I heard that story on the news too. I dont think I will ever see a pig as a sweet little animal ever again. Glad the little beasties got rounded up


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## weever (Oct 1, 2006)

Pauline, so sorry for your piggy troubles. We had to put the rams back in their pen yesterday, too. I think they understand what time of year it is, and that it's almost time for them to join the ladies. 

Eaten by a pig? I am not googling that story, thankyouverymuch. I still have barely repressed memories of what our pigs did to a chicken early in my life. I have a hard time not snorting when people talk of the "pigness of the pig", etc. in regards to letting the animals do what they are wont to do. I don't think many suburbanites realize the dark side of nature. They think about butterflies and flowers and sunny days...


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## Caren (Aug 4, 2005)

A guy got ate by his hogs???? I grew up on a hog farm!

I gave it up and turned the heat on this morning.....


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## Marchwind (May 10, 2002)

One of the books in the Silence of the Lambs series, I believe the first book, Red Dragon (?), has a scene where they feed a guy to his pigs. Gruesome!


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## Pigeon Lady (Apr 4, 2004)

Ours have been very docile really. But after seeing that in the news I started looking at the sideways  

Still on the subject of meat, Ken was given a whole deer today by a guy at work. We spent the evening processing most of it into deer burger. Going to make a big pot of chilli tomorrow!


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## InHisName (Jan 26, 2006)

Mama J- your clean up job is an inspiration. 
Getting ready for a fleece to yarn workshop here at my house this Friday/Saturday- have about 15 high schoolers and ladies coming. Starting from the sheep all the way through- should be fun! It is making me take a second look at my house and stacks of knitting/fibery magazines, etc.... 
This is the first time hosting this, and we have a lot to cover- so pray for me to keep it moving! Everyone is getting their own bucket of fleece to wash, dye, etc- have some already dyed stuff for them to work with the next day, carding, combing, etc, and lastly spinning. Hoping for good weather...
We had a new carport installed for the sheep- hurray! Hubby has some revamping to make it workable for lambs....


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## InHisName (Jan 26, 2006)

Wind in Her Hair said:


> InHisName, I try to host SOME sort of gathering every few months or so - just to motivate me to get things all cleaned up. Apparently I need deadlines and the threat of company to get my house in order. :teehee:



That is so true! There is nothing like company to help me see my house in a new light.... (dreaded window cleaning today....)


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## IowaLez (Mar 6, 2006)

I thought I would post some pics of my latest yarn, what else.... another boucle.

This one is made of plant fibers. The white core is made of ingeo, or corn fiber, and the loopy strand is the bamboo rayon I had such a hard time spinning up, and the wrapper strand is tencel, or wood fiber. I bought all the fiber at last Spring's Shepherd's Harvest festival, and I planned on this yarn being in next year's line up of skeins for the competition.

I took the pics with my new phone's camera, and I figured out how to zoom in while taking these. This camera is better than my fancy Cannon Digital SLR.


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## gone-a-milkin (Mar 4, 2007)

I got behind on this thread somehow. :hrm:

Leslie, your yarn is just exquisite!

I could go on some more about the potential ferocity of livestock, but I need to skip that topic today.
You can thank me later. 

Things are pretty thick around here.

My wheelwright called and I have to give the Kiwi back. :sob:
Not sure what is up with those folks but my offer to buy it from them was not well received.
So I am back to just Annie. I really do need another wheel.
She just needs constant oiling. I mean constantly. Plus the bobbin lead tension and small drivewheel, all my usual stuff to whine about when it comes to Annie.

I *DID* just spin up the renowned Wooliam Shakespin's fiber on her, and so she does work. 
Pics once I wash the skeins. 

The other big thing is that my DH has quit his job. He has a couple more days, but then he is done.
We will be okay, have a little savings, etc. 
It is going to be very different having him home all the time. 
I admit to having apprehensions. 
Plus, the opinions and views of various family members have been hard to hear.
Ah well. We will get through it. 


Thank goodness for knitting!


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## Marchwind (May 10, 2002)

Oh GAM! That's a life changing thing to suddenly have your husband home all the time. Will he be looking for other work or is her looking toward retiring? Hmmm, I'm not sure how I'd feel about that. I know when I was married I liked it when my DH traveled, after I had kids he decide not to travel any more. It was a hard adjustment for me. I hope you have an easier time of it, having him around a lot.

Bummer too about the Kiwi  Well we will just have to find you a good cheap used wheel somewhere.


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## gone-a-milkin (Mar 4, 2007)

I will find another wheel, Im sure. 


If you have ever lived w/ someone who hates their job, then you will understand that sometimes quitting is the right thing for them to do.

Surely he will find something else. He has a unique and varied skill set. The house is paid off and the kids are mostly all grown.

That man is going to be quickly bored to tears hanging out w/ *me* all day. 
I suppose I could go out and get a fulltime job myself, if I wanted to. 
That has never really been an option before. I have structured my life around kids for so long. Hmm.

This whole thing feels like a major life shift, if you know what I mean.
Like things are going to go a different direction starting soon? 
I dont know how to describe it, but I think a lot of folks go through something like this when they get to the empty-nest, middle of life stage.

Time for me to sharpen up my clarity and keep my boundaries strong, while also being open to new things.
You know. Easy stuff like that.


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## MullersLaneFarm (Jul 23, 2004)

Lez, how Beautiful!!!

Wow, GAM, what a change of life! You'll pull through with just bumps in the road and find your new 'norm'.

I'm back from OK and making side trips to spend time with my older brother and Pony!. I was this |-| close to GAM's place, but time was short, she had plans and I really wanted to get home. Next time we plan on going to see Pony!, we'll get together.

Over the weekend, Pony! & Nick took me to Baker Creek Seed's. They were having a festival!! (Alas, no fiber artists) I bought about $40 worth of seeds, then won a basket of another $40 worth of seeds, a calendar, magazine & cookbook. Great fun! The Ozarks are just beautiful!

Dug up my sweet potatoes ... a large laundry basket full from just 6 plants! Some of the sweet tators are as large as a small cat. I put up 24 pints and barely made a dent in the basket. Oi!

Still have horseradish to dig up and process for the year.

We were blessed by the gift of road gravel. A friend of ours from church is replacing a driveway just down the road. He stopped by to see if we could use the excess gravel ... oh you bet! We have about 6-7 dump truck loads of gravel to spread ... about 2,500 lb of rock! Yippee!!

I am in sore need of making soap. My inventory hasn't been this low since I started soaping 13 years ago. Any requests? I'll make that first. I do need a batch of patchouli for my Pastor ... I stock him up every October.


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## Pigeon Lady (Apr 4, 2004)

Oh Gam, that is big life change. I kind of know how you feel. My dh retired from the army in 2006. He was Special ops/paratrooper and deployed constantly. Anything from 6 months to a year and even 2 years the last time! Then all of a sudden he was home 24/7 for ten months. 

We have a good marriage and I love him to pieces but man, after twenty years of having teams of soldiers to delegate tasks to, he was suddenly down to one (ex soldier) me! And this guy can delegate! Honestly, I swear he could keep ten people busy just in making a cup of tea. From morning till night it was "Pauleeeeen" "run up to the barn and get me... come out here and hold this.... fire up your truck and bring it round the back... what are you doing?... don't get too comfortable because I need you to..." I didn't have a minutes peace. 

We laugh about it now but it was a tough ten months. One day he said: "I need to go to town and get a hair cut, I think I'll stop in at the employment office while I'm out. I couldn't help myself, I said "oh, yes pleeeese, "Get a hair cut and get a real job!" 

It so happened that the perfect job was available. He's happily delegating tasks all day long.

I hope the perfect job comes up for your hubby. Will be thinking of you.


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## gone-a-milkin (Mar 4, 2007)

I am pretty unbossable. LOL

He occassionally will make noises about starting a family business, but really I wont work for him.
Any more he knows that I will just do "whatever I want to anyway" and that he cannot make my body do anything that I dont want to. 
So far that has been kind of a joke, but of course I am dead serious. Dont test it. 

With the economy and economic climate and blah, blah, blah... we have heard a lot of negative things lately.
Just THAT is enough to stress me out some. 
Also, I think the DH was hoping his company would at least ask him why he is leaving. 
And they haven't. They figure he is easily replaced. Ouch. 
They are only interested in the bottom line and that has been a toughie. 

Being married and supportive is not to be under-rated!

Did I mention "thank goodness for knitting" yet? :teehee:


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## uglydogsfarm (Aug 30, 2012)

So nice to read how everyone is preparing for winter... Our only garden is a raised bed herb garden and we are limited to growing things that our peacocks will not eat. I love the fresh herbs, but I next year I really need to be better about harvesting and drying for use during the winter months.

So far I have not been consumed by my sheep - I made a mental note to avoid the swine route. We had a great year with our sheep and our lambs are all spoken for - some have gone (or are going) to homes where they will be breeders and others are (or will soon be) food. Either way, they lived good lives with the best care we could give them.

I had a lot of favorites this year - here are three of them:

Clun Forest Ewe lamb (we are keeing her!)


Border Cheviot Ram lamb


Merino Ram lamb (just sold him to a great home)


We have also been busy weaving and spinning... I just finished my first ever skien of Merino yarn. I don't know why I waited so long to spin Merino - I liked working with it and we have a pretty good supply of the stuff from our own sheep.


All of you keep up reporting all of your hard work - you keep me motivated!!!


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## Katherine in KY (May 11, 2002)

GAM, sometimes the best things come from scary decisions. I agree with WIHH that life is too short to be stuck in a job you hate. I hope things work out in a satisfying way for you both. BTW my DH took early retirement at 54 and hasn't regretted a day of it, although the pension is looking mighty meager as times goes by!


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## weever (Oct 1, 2006)

Adding my "best wishes" to the chorus, GAM. I went from a "working in town" hubby to a "home all the time" hubby (same guy, just to be clear) about 16 years ago. It was a little bumpy, but it's been great to have meals together, etc. But if your man is looking to find more "town" work, this may be a short season. Enjoy the parts that are enjoyable, and put up with the rest as best you can...


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## Miz Mary (Feb 15, 2003)

Praying for you GAM ...

I am probably one of few .... I LOVE having my DH home .... actually we have worked together 20 years , from being musicians, to office jobs , and working around the homestead ... 

Uglydogsfarm, thoes sheep are so beautiful !! I adore the Merino , and what gorgeous yarn you have spun from Merino !! 

Cyndi, will you be making more lotion again ?! I have gotten my dh using it , it's fantastic !! What about PATCHOULI lotion !?! That would be heavenly !!

We are expecting a weeks worth of rain to start Friday ... havent had a drop in 4 months , very strange for the Pacific NW !! So we have been getting all of our outside projects done, things put away , wood stacked , I cant WAIT for it to rain, so I can do my inside things ... like SPIN, KNIT & QUILT !!! I have been spinning daily ... a bit in the am , and about an hour in the evening ....it's my relaxing time with a cup of tea !!


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## uglydogsfarm (Aug 30, 2012)

Miz Mary - enjoy your rainy days... I find it hard to spin the dark fibers when it isn't bright and sunny out - my eyes have trouble focusing. I always have to break out my white fibers when it is dark and dreary. 

Perhaps I need to invest in a really good light - I have heard good things about the OTT lights but I am cheap and they are not...


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## IowaLez (Mar 6, 2006)

Uglydogsfarm, try putting a white towel over your lap on the dreary days and spinning dark fibers. it makes a lot of difference. I have a cheap Ikea adjustable floor lamp with a spot light beside my spinning chair for the darkest days.


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

Yesterday at 26 I found out I have breast cancer. So now to keep my mind occupied I am thinking of my knitting projects instead. I guess now is a great time to learn how to join in the round.


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## uglydogsfarm (Aug 30, 2012)

Woodpecker - so sorry to hear this. Keep occupied with knitting - positive energy is great medicine. Stay positive, stay strong.

Will be thinking of you and sending all of the positive energy I can.


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## Marchwind (May 10, 2002)

Woodpecker I am sorry to hear this. I know that fibers no matter how you work with them will bring you peace and calm. Turn to them often when you are feeling troubled or not. They will never let you down.

If there is ANYTHING we can do for you please let us know. In the mean time I will keep you in my thoughts for a good outcome. Also feel free to come here and talk. We have a few member here who have had breast cancer and just cancer, I hate that word  

Big hugs, I imagine this is a scary time for you.


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## Marchwind (May 10, 2002)

UDF I had no idea you had all those breeds  Cheviot a favorite of mine, its great for socks as it can be wash and dried in machines  Have you thought of selling your fleeces or even bits of them? Please let us know if you do. 

Maybe one day I can come see your place there and sit and spin with you.


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

Marchwind said:


> Woodpecker I am sorry to hear this. I know that fibers no matter how you work with them will bring you peace and calm. Turn to them often when you are feeling troubled or not. They will never let you down.
> 
> If there is ANYTHING we can do for you please let us know. In the mean time I will keep you in my thoughts for a good outcome. Also feel free to come here and talk. We have a few member here who have had breast cancer and just cancer, I hate that word
> 
> Big hugs, I imagine this is a scary time for you.


Thank you Marchwind. My whole world collapsed. Going to the surgeon today and the oncologist tommrow. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers I need them all.


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## uglydogsfarm (Aug 30, 2012)

Marchwind - I would love for you to visit and spend a day spinning! 

And yes, we do sell cheviot and clun fleeces. I love spinning my cheviot wool (which is why I had never spun any Merino until now). That cheviot yarn is so strong and it takes color very nicely. Most people think I am crazy for spinning "that coarse stuff", but I love it all.

I actually made a scarf from my handspun cheviot wool and while it is certainly not soft, it is my favorite because it is from my girls... and it is WARM! A friend of mine just is mortified that I spent so many hours spinning and weaving this scarf that isn't super soft. 

Here is the scarf (I spin pretty fine so this did take a ton of time):


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## uglydogsfarm (Aug 30, 2012)

Woodpecker said:


> Thank you Marchwind. My whole world collapsed. Going to the surgeon today and the oncologist tommrow. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers I need them all.


Woodpecker - just take one day at a time...

I can't imagine what you are feeling and I won't pretend that I can, but you have my thoughts and prayers!

Laugh when you can laugh, cry when you can cry, knit when you can knit, and lean on friends and family. Any journey is easier when you have company.


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## mamajohnson (Nov 27, 2002)

Woodpecker - my prayers are with you. It has been 24 years since I was told "you have cancer and will die" Yeah, it was that blunt. Scared me to death. I didn't even have knitting then! yikes!
So, know where your at, and I will keep you in my heart. Hang in there. You can make it. Keep in touch, we want to hear from you and how your doing.


GAM - oh my. Hey, I so know where your at. DH was laid off about a month ago. He SO hated his job. It was a relief. His blood pressure went down. I think he feels better, he is easier to get along with. BUT! I am so ready for him to not be joined at my hip! GEEZE!! Like you, I don't take orders well, and just sorta do my own thing. lol. The first thing I told DH was... hey, we have a routine. Don't think your gonna come home and change it. Won't happen.
lol! I am just trying to be patient and ignore him when he makes me crazy. (like, the last few days.) :bash:

I think empty-ing nest and retirement are gonna jump up and bite me. :hohum:

Cyndi - glad your home! I really need some of your mother earth soap, but it will be awhile before I can afford it. 

So, I have a couple of pics to share. Finished a scarf per DD's request...







She likes it, it's about 6' long and she is happy. 

Also, found out one of my alpaca can open gates. LOL!









She is such a hoot!


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## Miz Mary (Feb 15, 2003)

Woodpecker I'm so sorry to you ..... (( hugs ))) We are here when you need anything ....
I will be praying for you ..


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

Thank you all I value your prayers and thoughts more than you will ever know. I love the pics here too they cheer me up. Going to the surgeon was very scary, just finished another good cry. Going to try to join in the round now, fingers crossed.


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## Lythrum (Dec 19, 2005)

Woodpecker - So sorry to hear that, I'll be praying for you too. 

GAM - DH was a stay at home dad until I got laid off last year. He started looking for a job after I got laid off, in a half-hearted manner. After being home with me for a few days he REALLY started looking. He wasn't happy having adult supervision.  I wasn't that bad, but hey...you can't sit and watch ESPN and surf the internet all morning when we have a house to clean and prep for sale. gre: 

I'm in the position now where I really hate my job and am looking for something else. It is really hard to go to work every day at a job that stresses you out. The only thing that saves me is that I love my co-workers (most of them) and my supervisor. I wouldn't worry about what anyone else said either, sometimes the toll on your health just isn't worth the income, especially if you can afford it for a while. So best of luck to you both! 

The only concern that I would have is that a mans identity seems to really be tied to work, so keep an eye out for potential problems there.


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## gone-a-milkin (Mar 4, 2007)

Woodpecker, more hugs from me. :grouphug:
Going to doctors is very scary for me too. 

Good luck on your joining in the round. Once you get the hang of that, it opens whole new doorways in the knitting world.


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## weever (Oct 1, 2006)

Woodpecker, I'm sorry to hear about your bad news. Here's another picture to maybe make you smile...







[/url]
PA240163 by shadysidefarm, on Flickr[/IMG]


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## gone-a-milkin (Mar 4, 2007)

Well it made ME smile. 

Horses are harder on footwear than puppies, IME.
I had a pony who used to throw things in the water trough.
She would pull the saddle pads off the fence, lead ropes, boots, any people things. Dump them all in the water. 
Horses are such pranksters.


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## mamajohnson (Nov 27, 2002)

lol! too cute!
ok, here is a pic to make you smile,
Abbey my Alpaca
She wanted to be sure I got a closeup










And here is her new trick - opening the gate! :grumble:


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## weever (Oct 1, 2006)

That is a pricey boot, and it was taken away from the prankster RIGHT after the picture was snapped. Duke has never grown up... and I suppose that's what makes him so endearing.


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## gone-a-milkin (Mar 4, 2007)

A friend of mine had a pickpocket horse.
That is a rude behaviour that I do not encourage in any of my critters.

His horse worked an envelope out of his jeans pocket that contained a weeks pay and ATE it. 

Yes, hilarious. :hrm:


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## phbailey (Sep 18, 2012)

Hi, I'll introduce myself. My name's Heather and I stumbled upon this site and really enjoy reading everything! I have mostly been over on the canner's thread blathering away, but tonight thought I might go reading around. 

I have been canning up a storm and am so happy to report the garden has been pulled out for two weeks!! I just finished canning my last jar yesterday. 

As a result of all my canning insanity - my house looks like a bomb went off... a bomb made out of dirty dishes and dirty clothes! No one has clean clothes... the shopping needs done... and we are going camping this weekend and I leave with my kids to visit my mom a state away next week.... STRESS OUT NAO! If someone unexpectedly stops by I am going to have to act like we've been robbed and pillaged to disguise this disaster.

Oh, and yes I am a knitter and spinner... don't seem to ever have enough time to spin, though. I have roving I bought last year that is still just sitting. 

We aren't homesteaders, but persue many of the necessities of that lifestyle as much as we can. We used to have chickens and plan to again, we have bees, keep a garden, brew beer, make soap, can food, dehydrate, camp, backpack, knit, spin, sew, homeschool. We pretty much do everything as a family and have a pretty good time, overall. I am a chatterbox, so will probably clog up a thread or two blathering on, but I mean well. Happy to have found this forum!


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## gone-a-milkin (Mar 4, 2007)

Welcome to the forum Heather. 
This is the place to be if you have messed up your priorities and arent spinning and knitting enough. :teehee:
We really try to keep eachother on track when it comes to important stuff like that.

What kinds of projects are your favorite? What kind of wheel do you have?

(oh yeah, and we're nosy. )

Welcome aboard!


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## gone-a-milkin (Mar 4, 2007)

Mamaj:

What is the name of that white w/black alpaca?
It does look evil or insane to me in every single pic you post. LOL

How are they settling in, the 'paca pack?


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## mamajohnson (Nov 27, 2002)

gone-a-milkin said:


> Mamaj:
> 
> What is the name of that white w/black alpaca?
> It does look evil or insane to me in every single pic you post. LOL
> ...


Lol! That is Brandie Mae. But We call her Lola. She has black outline on her eyes and so my daughter said she looks like a Lola. She is interesting. And has quiet a kick. She whopped one of the goats today. They are settling in well. In fact I think We had some baby making going on the other day. :teehee:

Welcome phbailey! Gam. Is right We keep the priorities strait here


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

Joining in the round has had mixed results. I almost got a tube, meaning I got two strands connected together on both sides but no tube. It could be because I cast on too few stiches and the yarn is a boucle. Plus I cast on way too tight but at least I had some sucess. I only did a row to see what was happening.


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## Katherine in KY (May 11, 2002)

Woodpecker, so sorry to hear your bad news. There are so many new treatments out there these days that I hope yours goes well, and you'll be fine in no time. As for knitting in the round, one trick I found is not to connect the ends on the very first row. I knit or rib at least one row before I connect the ends. That way I avoid twisting the stitches and ending up with a Mobius strip. It's easy to connect that first row or two using the beginning tail of yarn. HTH.


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## MullersLaneFarm (Jul 23, 2004)

Woodpecker, I am so sorry to hear of your cancer. Fiber arts is my go-to activity to keep my sanity in tough situations. I do a lot of praying while I'm fibering.

Praying for your healing, your understanding and comfort for you during this time.



> just finished another good cry.


 Tears are prayers too. They travel to God when we can not speak.

MamaJ, got to Tina's yesterday (with a load of sweet potatoes) and showed her how to draft and spindle.

Welcome, Heather. I totally understand a housed looking bombed during canning season. I put in 3 weeks of canning before going back to OK to be at my Daddy's death bed. The call to go back was sudden and I left the house 'as is'. Thankfully, (and sometimes Paul), doesn't mind doing some cleaning when I'm too busy. The house was ---- & span when I got home. Bless that man! He managed to clean without throwing out any household essentials that he doesn't recognize!!


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## phbailey (Sep 18, 2012)

I'm all good with nosy - as I tend to overshare anyway.

I have an Ashford traveller - just a one treadle. I love my little wheel and wish I got to it more. I have big plans for this winter, though. Esp after Chrismas I will have more time to spin while the boys are doing their lessons.

My go to for projects is socks. I like to spoil my dh - to the point that he will no longer wear any socks except for hand-knit. I have knit him many pairs, which is saying something as he wears a size 15 boot. I have only knit him one very special knee-high pair in fingering, though. The rest are sport weight or light worsted. I really don't knit any fancy socks - just plain, sturdy hiking or work boot style which might make someone else crazy, but I can knit without thinking or counting while watching tv with the family.

I also have knit 3 sweaters - one for each of the guys in the family, lots of scarves, have a couple of shawls on the needles, felted slippers, baby booties, lots of hats - just a little bit of everything, I guess. I always have a few things on the go... even if that means just a few stitches in the evening before I fall asleep. 

What about you? What's your go-to project? How often do you spin (I think you're a spinner)? What knitted item are you most proud of? (See, I'm nosy, too!)


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## phbailey (Sep 18, 2012)

I am brand new here, so don't know you (yet!), but just wanted to let you know how sorry I am to hear your sad news. And hopefully you will take this the right way ...
but, KICK ITS BUTT!! I am sending good thoughts to you, and prayers for your health, too.


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## InHisName (Jan 26, 2006)

praying for you, Woodpecker-
So today is our fiber workshop day! Starts at 1 pm- so I have time to get things in order yet. Betty Roberts, the maker of those beautiful wheels, is coming! I am so excited that these young girls will get an opportunity to meet this fantastic lady.... planning on getting pics, so will report in later. Using IowaLez mohair in washing/dyeing project...
Welcome, Heather!
I love shawls and hats, particularly, tams. Goal is ladies sweater- to dye and spin enough for the project is next on list. Admire you sock ladies...


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## Marchwind (May 10, 2002)

Welcome to The Fold phbailey! Can't wait to see pictures of your FO's and other things. Glad you came over to the furry side of life


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## phbailey (Sep 18, 2012)

Thanks Marchwind. I love knitting. It has saved my sanity through some pretty rough times. This past year has been a pretty good one for my family, though. So I am counting our blessings. 

What do you like to knit? Do you spin as well?

Inhisname - I agree with your longterm goal. I would love to be able to spin for a project - start to finish. A sweater's worth is still just too ambitious for me and beyond my ability. If I could get some practice, maybe some socks could be doable.


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## Miz Mary (Feb 15, 2003)

Welcome Heather !! I have a Ashford Traddy too !! 

I Love the scarves posted !!


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## mamajohnson (Nov 27, 2002)

MullersLaneFarm said:


> MamaJ, got to Tina's yesterday (with a load of sweet potatoes) and showed her how to draft and spindle.


Yay! I am so glad you went by there. Thnx for taking care of my special friend when I am so far away. :thumb:



phbailey-I have an ashford traditional double traddy. Love my Bessie! 
My goto knitting...hmmm... I always have 1 to 4 things on the needles. Most common are socks, dishtowels (cotton) and shawls. 
I have the yarn and pattern to cast on for my first sweater. Looked at it this morning and chickened out. LOL! I will try to cast on tonight.

My SIL would like some handspun, so I am going to try and card some fuzzy something fiber (time to stash dive!) into some of my Shetland to make her some yarn.

Other than that, I need to get back to work. I have some javascript that is kicking my butt. :yuck: I hate when a dot or dittle is out of place and code doesn't work...that is usually when I can't find that missing link.
Hopefully I can surface this evening.


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## gone-a-milkin (Mar 4, 2007)

I learned how to knit and then spin too right here on this forum. 
Well, I did have to figure it all out myself, but the good folks here helped me at every turn. 
It was a bit tricky being lefthanded and having NO ONE in real life who could show me.
Thank goodness for the internet. 

Originally I started knitting because I wanted to make socks. That is still one of my primary project choices.
I always have a pair on the needles.
Here's a pair I just finished, toes up and using a lot of different walnut-sized balls of sock yarn.









I also have a hand cranked sock machine and make socks with that too.

My spinning wheel is a little locally crafted Shetland style castle wheel. 
It is a simple wheel and not too fast, but I have spun a lot of yarn with it.
I am looking for a miracle upgrade wheel next, but it might be awhile before I can budget it.

This summer I got 3 Angora goats so now I have my own mohair stash, which has been a lot of fun.


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## netskyblue (Jul 25, 2012)

Beautiful socks!


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

Thanks for your prayers and advice all! Maybe I could play with my spindle too, hmm.


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## MullersLaneFarm (Jul 23, 2004)

Not to worry, MamaJ. "Our' girl and her family is growing and doing well!

For Heather: I'm a spinner, knitter, crocheter, felter and learning-to-be weaver. I've mastered the rigid hedle (with the tabby weave at least!) and have a Harrisville-Design T/6 that still needs to get set up and a 4 heddle table top loom that is set up but I haven't warped it yet. My main wheels are a Kromski Sonata (with WooLee Winder) for singles and my first wheel, the Ashford Traveller, with the Jumbo Bobbin setup for plying. I also have a few antique wheels that I use occasionally.

MamaJ: programming ... did it for 30 years on main- & mid-frame computers. All it takes is a '.' out of place (or forgotten) and it can be days before you find it! Argh!!!!
Positive thing about programming is it ALWAYS does EXACTLY what you tell it to do, without argument or complaint. It was a blessing when my children were in their teens!!! LOL!

'Kay, now I have to vent. (Thank you ladies and gents for taking the time to put up with my vents.)

As most of you know, my Daddy died a couple of weeks ago. He had an aggressive form of brain cancer. It was diagnosed the end of July. He started chemo Aug 1 and proton therapy August 13. I was in OK from 8/1 - 8/11, then went back down 8/16 -8/18. Daddy sent me home because he knew I had a garden to get canned up. Daddy was a life-long gardener & canner.

He called me back down 8/16 because he decided to not have any cancer treatment. He lived a full life and didn't want his last year + to be filled with illness and dependency on others. 

My younger sister (middle child) has lived very close to Daddy these last 30 years. She told our mother that she had a choice, if Mother's boyfriend moved in, she was moving from IA to OK. (Boyfriend is a good guy and later married mother). Sister moved to OK. She has spent the past 30 years involving Daddy deeply in her and her family's lives. I am forever grateful for this, since Daddy really needed this in his life.

During Daddy's last days, he asked us children if he had anything we would like to remember him by. My older brother & I chose things like his 2 cast iron skillets or his old gun stock that was burned 3 decades ago. My sister chose Daddy's coin & gun collection. hmpgh. Daddy told us about this and also told my older brother to get out all the guns that he wanted and not to let our sister have the remaining until after his death so they wouldn't get sold while he was alive.

During Daddy's final days, our sister was always in the room. No big deal, but our Aunt (Daddy's older sister) told all of us that if any of us needed private time with Daddy, that the others would allow that. That worked well, IF aunt was in the room. Okay, no problem. Sister slept at Daddy's side, even when we transferred him from a double bed into a hospital bed. Brother & I gave her space.

Right before Daddy passed, Sister said a wonderful, beautiful prayer to send him home. It was so beautiful that I asked my Aunt if I could read it again. Despite the ugly look from Sister (which Aunt didn't see), she took the prayer from Sister and handed it to me. I prayed the prayer over Daddy, then handed it back to Aunt. She handed it to Brother, who handed it to his Wife, who said the prayer. When she said, "Amen", there was a peace, joy, comfort, love, acceptance beyond anything I could ever describe that filled the room. Aunt looked at me and said, "Can you feel Him?" I looked at Daddy as he exhaled his last breath. It was the most beautiful, peaceful thing I have ever experienced in my life.

As I was singing a song on the radio ([ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yvfso4Q8xg"]Chris Tomlin's I will Rise[/ame]) at the moment Daddy died, sister walked out in disgust and later told me I was being disrespectful for 'making noise' while her Dad died.



Well, I guess this won't be a vent after all... I just can't sully the Presence of the Lord with what Sister did at the Rosary before Daddy passed and what she did the morning after. Maybe another time. Let's just say, she sent me back to my childhood with the hate she portrayed and my hackles of protectiveness came up for my brother. May God forgive her ... I'm having a hard time doing so.


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## gone-a-milkin (Mar 4, 2007)

Aww. Hugs to you Cyndi. :grouphug:


Your story sounds very similar to my grandfather's passing and his gun collection.
My mama chose his oldest shotgun, which his grandfather gave to him when he was 12.
It currently resides at my house. 

Do you have any good pics of your dad you could share w/ us? 
I have been thinking of you a lot lately. 
Take care of yourself and I mean it.


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## MullersLaneFarm (Jul 23, 2004)

OH! I totally forgot to mention that Amy Clarke Moore (editor of Spin-Off) wants to do an article on my Adventures in Spanish Moss in the Winter 2013 Spin-Off issue!! 

Sweet!!!


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## MullersLaneFarm (Jul 23, 2004)

gone-a-milkin said:


> Do you have any good pics of your dad you could share w/ us?


Sure do!

One year old in 1939:









Four years old:









Eight years old:










Eighteen years old (Senior picture)









1989: Four generations. That's my Papaw, older brother, Daddy & nephew:









Three years ago at 71:


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## weever (Oct 1, 2006)

Cyndi, hugs to you. "Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest." You are not responsible for your sister's actions. She is. You are only responsible for your actions. Your daddy looked like he was a happy man.


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## gone-a-milkin (Mar 4, 2007)

He looks like he had a spark of fun about him.


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## mamajohnson (Nov 27, 2002)

Cyndi - <<hugs>> 
I think it was wonderful that you were there with your daddy. Mine was gone by the time I got there. 
Give the forgiveness time. The injury is still raw. Do let the memory of what she did pass and remember the sweet moment that everyone shared as he moved to a better place. That song is an awesome sweet song, good that you had the presence of mind to sing it. _ 'I will rise on eagles wings before my God fall on my knees.' _ Yes, very appropriate.
Some don't know how to let the bitterness from life go (perhaps that is her problem) and as a result they can't seem to know how to be happy and at peace. 
I know you do know how and will find that peace.

hey - your dad favors that little grand-darling you have! Or maybe she favors him?  He was very handsome, and did look happy!


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## gone-a-milkin (Mar 4, 2007)

mamajohnson said:


> hey - your dad favors that little grand-darling you have! Or maybe she favors him?  He was very handsome, and did look happy!


I thought that too. Kristany looks a bit like him.


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## MullersLaneFarm (Jul 23, 2004)

There IS a story behind Sister ... her actions weren't unexpected. Another day though.

Speaking of my grand-darling .... This was taken Sept 4

Kristany (aka Punky) as Strawberry Punky-cake!










Sweet story about Punky at Daddy's funeral luncheon that I posted on my FB. I'll copy & paste here.



> Children are so wise.
> 
> Two weeks ago during my Daddy's funeral luncheon given at the church, my 2.5 year old granddaughter saw a life size crucifix hanging low on the wall.
> 
> ...


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## Marchwind (May 10, 2002)

Hug Cyndi! Family drama always seems to disturb the symbiosis we strive so hard to achieve as we grow into adulthood. My ex's siblings evicted him from the house he grew up and lived in (he was 18 at the time and still in school) when his mother died. I'm not sure just what happens to people in times of stress but it seems to turn them into strangers, if only temporarily. It just makes things that much harder. I am sorry you felt the brunt of it. But, as Weever said you are not responsible for her actions. Forgiveness will come but it may take day, months or even years. When it is time it will happen, don't push yourself.

Fantastic news about the Spin Off article, please keep us posted.

Love the photos. I think you look like your daddy, especially in the eyes, and your GD has some of that too.


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

Hugs to you Muller's Lane Farm, I am sure this is a difficult time for you also. Your dad looks like a sweet man.


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

Can I ask what you ladies do when your really scared? Fiber related or otherwise is good.


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## netskyblue (Jul 25, 2012)

I'm home by myself today, and I've got no one to share my sad news with, so...

I was checking my email and saw an announcement from my church secretary about my DEAR friend's funeral  I haven't seen her in about 16 months, and I didn't even know she was sick. She was an older woman, but so very full of life when I last saw her. Now I'm filled with so much regret. 

I wish I'd known, I would have visited her. 

For years, I went to her house for dinner and a Greek lesson once a week, but this past year and a half, I haven't been very in touch with my friends from church.

I think this is the first time I've ever lost someone unexpectedly, and I'm so regretting all the things I should have done.


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## gone-a-milkin (Mar 4, 2007)

Woodpecker said:


> Can I ask what you ladies do when your really scared? Fiber related or otherwise is good.


I focus 100% on breathing in and out in a controlled manner. 
Like a meditation I guess, but sometimes when I get overwhelmed w/ emotion I have to just discipline my thoughts.

I found that repeating a positive statement over and over can help in the same way.
People who are religious often pray that way too. Say a favorite verse to yourself whenever you feel that clench of fear.

For me breathing works better because words have too many tricky ways of letting thoughts sneak in with them. 
Everybody does it differently though.

Maybe take up a complicated lace pattern? That might focus your attention. :teehee:


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## gone-a-milkin (Mar 4, 2007)

netskyblue, I am sorry for your loss.


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## weever (Oct 1, 2006)

Good advice here. Honestly, I can tend to fixate on the negative. So I make myself take notice of the positive--counting my blessings, as it were. I get myself a pen, and I have a little book, and I make myself write down the lovely things that happen throughout the day. "The song of a bird outside my window." "The taste of a good bagel." "A phone call from a good friend." It's like GAM's disciplining of thoughts, in a way, but since I force myself to focus on blessings, I'm thinking less about the fear or worry or anger that is inside me. 

And the other thing I do is to pray. If you can get to a Bible, there are some pretty good rant-prayers in the Psalms. King David let it all hang out when he was worried or angry or scared or upset. I figure if King David could get away with rant-prayers, they're probably an acceptable form of praying for the rest of us, too. 

Netskyblue, maybe that would help you, too--to recall all the good things about your friend and to record the blessings of knowing her. Your regrets can't change anything, unfortunately (and I'll bet we've all been there)... Hugs to you.


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## frazzlehead (Aug 23, 2005)

Cyndi, drama is no fun and you have my sympathy for having to put up with it. I am glad that your father's passing was so beautiful though ... really, a good death is a beautiful and precious and holy thing, and I think you were honoured to be witness to it. I know I feel honoured to hear you share about it. I'll say another prayer for you today ... sometimes, when we are in pain we don't act as our best selves and we hurt other people out of our own pain. I'm guilty of this, to be sure, and I'm grateful for the forgiveness others have given me ... though I know it takes time. When you're ready, you'll find that you can see her with eyes of compassion and then it won't be a matter of forgiveness so much as just a letting go. Takes time to get there though. You might find that if you write the story it helps you see it in a different light. When you write it for someone else who wasn't there, who doesn't know the people, you have to tell the whole story and fill in all the blanks ... and somehow, in doing that, it gives you another perspective on what happened. That's what worked for me, anyway. You can write it and never give it to anyone, or you can send it to just one or two people who you know are safe and will not judge, if you need to have a reader ... I know, it does make a difference to have a reader and you know I will do that for you if you wish. Peace to you in the meantime, the journey does take time. Take it as you are ready, don't rush it.

NetSkyBlue, I am so sorry for your loss. Perhaps writing the wonderful things you remember of your friend would help you celebrate her life, and then doing a ritual of release ... writing blessings or memories on paper and burning them (to send them up to the sky) is something I've done, or just lighting a candle in memory, or making something to remember your friend by. The Memory Shawl was designed for that ... if you PM me your email address (or message me on Ravelry, it's even easier through Rav) I would be happy to give you the pattern, if you would like it.


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## frazzlehead (Aug 23, 2005)

Woodpecker, fear is a constant in my life these days: I live with Delayed PTSD, which is all about being scared of nothing currently present. I've had my share of fear of things that WERE present too ... of course that's how I ended up with PTSD. 

This is gonna sound very odd, but here it is anyway. The Dune books (or the movie, you might've seen it) has a poem type thing that is frequently repeated by some of the characters when they are frightened, it is the Litany Against Fear. It goes like this:

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind killer.
Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me, and when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see fear's path.
Where it has gone there will be nothing. 
Only I will remain.

I learned this and repeat it to myself when I am scared. I face my fear: I look right at what I'm scared of and I name it. It is awful when you are just scared and have no words, words corral the thing and give shape to the fear. "I am afraid that my loved one will die." "I am afraid that my boyfriend will dump me." "I am afraid that this feeling isn't going to go away."

Once you have named your fear, you _permit it to pass over and through_. To me, this means imagining what will happen if the thing you are afraid of comes to pass. This is the hard part, but really ... you're afraid of something because 'bad things will happen if this occurs', you are afraid of the consequences of the event, right? "If my boyfriend dumps me, I will be sad. Maybe nobody else will like me ever again. Maybe I will be alone for a long time, or always." Once you list the consequences, then you examine them. "I will be sad." And then what? "I will cry." And then what? "I will get angry." And then what? "I will write a letter that I never mail." "Nobody else will like me ever again." Is that realistic? "Maybe not but I'm afraid of it anyway." Okay, so what if nobody ever likes you ever again? "Well, I can eat cereal for supper and nobody will chastise me, and I can dress any way I like and be the crazy cat lady at the end of the street." Could that be fun? "Yeah, maybe."

You get the idea. The key thing is to remember that even if the thing you are afraid of comes to pass, _when the fear has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see fear's path... where it has gone there will be nothing, only I will remain._ No matter what it is you are afraid of, on the other side of it, you'll still be there, making the next decision, and the next decision, and the next decision. (This is sightly different if the fear is "I am afraid I might die", because well, we all die eventually, and it's best to be ready for that no matter what, because when it comes, it comes, and that's all there is to it. In this case, the best thing is to say "and if that happens, what would I want to have had done/settled first?" and make sure all that is done so you are always ready for today to be the last day. It's actually a very freeing way to live, always being ready to go.)

This is a constructive way to look at fear: fear is a message that something is coming that requires your attention. Give it your attention, do whatever mitigation or pre-planning you can, and then when you've done all you can do, stand bravely knowing you are ready for what is or might be coming. 

At that point, get out your knitting. If the worry comes back, repeat the process. If you start going in circles, try writing it down (I often go over and over and over things if I haven't written it down, but if I write it down, then I say "it's on the list" and can carry on). I recite prayers, especially when I can't sleep, and I remind myself that no matter what may come, I am held in the hands of God, and I am perfectly, utterly safe. The part of me that is me cannot truly be harmed, not ever, and all the rest is just the journey I am on while I am here.

PM me any time if I can be of help.


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## PKBoo (Apr 10, 2008)

woodpecker - my DD went through some rough times when she was in HS, and she started journaling. She continues to this day (8 years later!) She uses bound composition books, and writes, draws, cuts out magazine pictures, ANYTHING that evokes emotion in her. 

In the beginning she poured out her thoughts, fears, anxieties, everything, and it was a very healing process for her. Research has shown that journaling can strengthen t-lymphocyte immune cells, and can decreases the symptoms of asthma and rheumatoid arthritis.

Here's a website I found that may help you:
http://www.cancer.net/all-about-can...ality-life/finding-comfort-through-journaling

netskyblue - so sorry for your loss. Please try not to live with the regrets and 'what-ifs' - remember the times that you spent together, and cherish those memories. 

Cyndi - my thoughts and prayers are with you. You had such a beautiful time with your dad (LOVE those pictures - thanks for posting them!). I pray that you are able to look beyond your sister's actions, and not let them mar your memories. 

GAM - I understand your struggles with family comments (been there too). I also know that you've lived with the strains and pressures that a stressful job creates in the family dynamics, and I'm glad you're supportive of your DH's decision. It'll all shake out, and you'll come out ahead with greater harmony. Poo on family comments! 

Today was the day I got to spin all day at Harvest Days at our local living museum. I had a blast!!!! I took no pictures though, so I promise I will get lots tomorrow, and post a whole thread. It was so rewarding showing and talking with people about the whole spinning process. Had a great great time, and I get to back tomorrow! :bouncy:


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## gone-a-milkin (Mar 4, 2007)

For me just breathing in and out is pretty much the same as "It's on the list".

Frazzlehead, you rock. I haven't told you that lately.


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## gone-a-milkin (Mar 4, 2007)

Today was my DH's last day.
One of his coworkers bought him some candy bars and the store manager gave him a heartful card. 

*I* told him he should chuck his alarm clock out in the rain. :teehee:

Oh! and just to keep things interesting, job wise:

We are now doing a new thing in the milkbarn.
Used to be we milked at 6 am and 5 pm. WELL..

Starting now the schedule is shifted to 10 am and 9 pm.
This essentially keeps me dressed and working until nearly midnight. 
Neat, huh? 

Personally, I give it 2 weeks.:hrm:
Starting something like this in the fall? People are being crazy.

People are freaking nuts. Just saying. :teehee:


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## Falls-Acre (May 13, 2009)

For those here that don't know, we have a Sphinx cat. His name is Nicky (as in Nicodemus).

Earlier this week my son finally twanged my last nerve... he broke the tip of my size 17 knitting needles... while I'm still in the middle of a project. One of our first stops on Friday was the yarn store to see about replacing them. She wound up having to order them, doesn't normally carry that size, and said it would take a week. Since I was there, I went ahead and browsed her selection of clearance yarns (my favorite room in her store!). I decided to bring home a skein of 50% llama, 50% wool to try it out. It's a 1-ply, which worries me. If it works out, I'll go back for more of the skeins she had.

Anyway, I brought it home and placed it on top of my knitting bag to await a decision as to its project. I was sitting working on something else when Nicky "discovered" the skein. I don't know if it was coated in catnip, or if cats simply HAVE to check out such an unusual fiber, but he grabbed the skein and was rolling around with it!! If I was going to be mean, I'd make him a sweater from it! LOL Now I have to worry about what he'll do with any finished product made from this yarn. I have 3 or 4 bags of llama fiber out in the shed, maybe I'll felt him a little toy for the holidays! :spinsmiley:


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## Marchwind (May 10, 2002)

Fear/anxiety can be a killer, literally and figuratively. I have done all of the above and still do man of them. Like Frazzle I tend to face my fears head on then flip it onto its head and find the silver lining. I was once told by a very wise man, you have always got two choices in everything in life, you can be negative or positive, be part of the solution or part of the problem, fear or not fear....... I don't know if it is a gift or something I learned as a young child but I can always find a good side to every situation. One of my favorite phrases I learned while living in Minnesota, and it is typical of the state is; "things could always be worse". My fibers also help me a lot. Spinning is my meditation, knitting can be if it is a brainless something. I get a lot of brain chatter or "monkey brain" turning that off especially at bed time can be the hard part. I have yet to find a cure for that other than to go to my happy place in my head and visualize all the beautiful things I've seen in my life and happy times I've had.

Netskyblue I am sorry for the loss of your friend. Being hard on yourself won't help you feel any better. Learn from this and do as some have suggested, write you thoughts about her, maybe mail it to her family, light a candle, say a prayer. But don't blame yourself.


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## uglydogsfarm (Aug 30, 2012)

So many of you going through tough times... I wish you all the best and I hope that in these hard times you are able to find and hold on to the moments of joy and happiness that come along every day. I find it to be these moments of good that get me through the bad... and WOW - don't the bad times show us how "good" those good times really are?

And Cyndi, your story of your sister brought me back to a similar situation in my life. It involved my sister and things that happened during my favorite uncle's illness and passing. As much as I try to forgive her and as many times as I thought I had (not for her, but for my sanity) I struggle every day with what happened. At the end of the day though, I know who I am when times get tough and I know how I reacted when I was tested so I can look myself in the mirror at night. I know who she is to, but I have to trust that it is not my place to judge her.

So hard... but maybe you too can find comfort in the fact that you have something inside of you that she never will. I try to feel sorry for my sister and hope that one day she finds that "something" she is missing. So tough though because things did not turn out as my uncle had wanted and that hurts.

I hope that all of you struggling right now find lots of "good" moments today and that one day soon those "good" moments outnumber the "bad" ones.


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

Thank you all for your suggestions, I will try them all. I think I'm going to start knitting my granny squares. That's been something I've been looking forward too. I have been constantly praying ,I say a few plsams everynight, I've been doing this for years. Today I will read them all and pray that God has mercy on me and that this will eventually go away and I can live to glorify him. I will also keep praying that he will help me keep my fears away.
Netskyblue so very sorry for your loss.


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## Miz Mary (Feb 15, 2003)

Such hurting times .. 

Im sorry for your loss, Netskyblue .... maybe when you feel regret, you can list all GOOD memories instead... maybe make a greek dinner in her honor .... 

GAM, can you split the milking chores, you do the am, he does the pm ?! 

Cyndi, thoes old imey pictures are the best ! Thank you for sharing them with us ! 

Falls Acre, thank you for the smile this am , Nicky sounds like a fun friend !! 

Frazzlehead , THANK YOU . Fear can consume me at times ... your words of wisdom helped me understand fear , next time Fear visits I will remember this .....

..... My older sister called yesterday ..... we are close, but dont see/call each other often , if that makes sense....... her marriage of 24 years is on the rocks .... they have a 13 year old son .... Thinks the DH is having a midlife crisis ..... This has been going on almost a year and she hasnt said anything to anybody ... She even got physically sick from it .. He "doesnt know what he wants " ... I already see good things from this .... She got herself to a counselor ... She joined a gym and knows the physical helps the mental ... she is on an online forum for mid life crisis ... she is planning on taking care of herself -and SHE HAS BEEN PRAYING !!!! WOOHOOO !!! Because of life events, I found Jesus 20 years ago , but I was unsure of what she believed , and we come from a non verbal family ...after talking yesterday , She doesnt know the particulars but has FAITH God is real , and has been praying !! 

That alone makes me cry in happiness , even though the marriage may not make it .......

You guys are a fantastic FAMILY , I'm glad I have you here .....

I'll be praying for y'all !


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## MullersLaneFarm (Jul 23, 2004)

Netskyblue, I am sorry for your loss.Please don't beat yourself up for not being in touch the past 28 months ... sometimes life just gets in the way and time flies by. Remember the special times you were together.

Praise the Lord, Miz Mary!!

Sister's attitude & actions when Aunt wasn't around were no more/no less than what Brother & I have experienced her whole life. It's just T being T. She has always been jealous of the special bond between Daddy & I. When she moved to OK, she finally got to be "Daddy's Girl" ... until I came to visit. It wasn't my doing ... you see, Mother practically abandoned me when I was born. She did the minimal care of me. It was Daddy who was up for the middle of night feedings, making sure my diaper was clean, et al. Brother even said that Daddy was always easier on me than the rest of the children. Looking back, he was. Then again, Mother was always harder on me than she was the rest of the children.

What happened at Daddy's rosary the night he died and the morning after he died sent me back to a cringing little girl. Sister's intense hatred of me came through her touch and her words.

I just feel sorry for her at this point. I pray that what she displays to others on the outside will one day penetrate her soul and the Lord's love can shine from within. I pray she will quit doing God's work for her own glory and start doing her work for the glory of God.

On the fiber side: I'll be finishing up the toe of a 2nd sock and need to find purple sock yarn for a special request from my grand-darling! Does anyone know off hand how many to cast on for a small child's sock on size 1 needles??


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## GunkGirl (Oct 14, 2012)

Hi there! I'm new to the board! 

I would have to say I'm an intermediate knitter, I can knit in the round, do cables, and done a few lace shawls. But I am SLOW. I work on one project for months, possibly years. I have a ridiculously long commute, so I knit on the train as I listen to audiobooks to keep busy. 

However, it's my dream to raise my own flock of sheep and spin yarn. However, I'm away for 12 hours a day, so animals aren't an option yet. 

I'm glad to be here!


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## mamajohnson (Nov 27, 2002)

GunkGirl said:


> Hi there! I'm new to the board!
> 
> I would have to say I'm an intermediate knitter, I can knit in the round, do cables, and done a few lace shawls. But I am SLOW. I work on one project for months, possibly years. I have a ridiculously long commute, so I knit on the train as I listen to audiobooks to keep busy.
> 
> ...


Welcome GunkGirl! Glad your here. With being gone 12 hours a day, that seriously cuts into knitting time! It's great that you have something to do on your commute. Drive time is some of my favorite knitting time. 
When we take a road trip DH will look at my knitting bag and say 'well, I guess I'm driving' yep. your driving my dear! :grin:
If your dream is to own a flock and spin, your in the right place! There are all sorts of folks here that will enable...errr help you.


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

I have my surgery date for Friday. For all of us going through hard times I pray that God makes us stronger! On a bitter note that means I have to miss out on Rhinebeck which I waited for all year long. Next year it will be sweeter though because I know I will be a cancer survivor.


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## weever (Oct 1, 2006)

Prayed for you, Woodpecker.


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## MullersLaneFarm (Jul 23, 2004)

Prayers will be lifted Friday for you and your surgical team.

YES! A Survivor!!!


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## Pearl B (Sep 27, 2008)

Woodpecker, I hope all goes well and God Bless, I will be praying for you. 

Hello and Welcome to all the new folks. Imho, youve found the best part of HT!

For everyone going through hard times, I hope and pray God gives you the strength you need till dark times subside.


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## PKBoo (Apr 10, 2008)

Welcome GunkGirl (I hope the 'Gunk' is lots of stashed fiber haha!) Hope you are able to get a flock of sheep someday - they make my life very happy :sing:

woodpecker - I've been praying for you, and will continue to keep you in my prayers this week as you prepare for your surgery. Keep knitting, and keep being positive - it works!

MizMary - so happy you were able to talk with your sister about her beliefs. Keep it up - she'll need someone in faith as she goes through tough times


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## netskyblue (Jul 25, 2012)

frazzlehead said:


> The Memory Shawl was designed for that ... if you PM me your email address (or message me on Ravelry, it's even easier through Rav) I would be happy to give you the pattern, if you would like it.


Thank you so much for the offer, but I think it's still beyond my skill level. I will just continue to work on my scarf, and maybe this evening make some of my favorite soup, which she taught me to make. I went to the visitation tonight, and at least there was some closure there. Also, *right* in front of the funeral home there was a car accident, and explosion! (No one was hurt, only the poor vehicles involved.) Everyone was standing there watching, and it made me smile to think that she would have gotten a kick out of it -this was *her* day and everyone was standing outside paying attention to something else entirely. I bet she was chuckling at us from above.


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## GunkGirl (Oct 14, 2012)

> Welcome GunkGirl! Glad your here. With being gone 12 hours a day, that seriously cuts into knitting time! It's great that you have something to do on your commute. Drive time is some of my favorite knitting time.
> When we take a road trip DH will look at my knitting bag and say 'well, I guess I'm driving' yep. your driving my dear!
> If your dream is to own a flock and spin, your in the right place! There are all sorts of folks here that will enable...errr help you.


I probably knit more than I ever did because there is not so many things to do on the train, but I don't get too much. I try to squeeze in homework and readings. 



PKBoo said:


> Welcome GunkGirl (I hope the 'Gunk' is lots of stashed fiber haha!) Hope you are able to get a flock of sheep someday - they make my life very happy :sing:


Gunk is actually a shortened version of the mountain I live on. My stash is no where near my friends, but I prefer quality over quantity. Only a few skeins, but all beautiful hand-spun wool. 

Thanks for the warm welcome!


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## phbailey (Sep 18, 2012)

Wow, gone-a-milkin - those are beautiful socks! 

I have been away from my 'puter for a bit, so am slow in getting caught up here. 

I started to knit just so I could knit my dh a pair of socks. That was 5? years ago and haven't put the needles down yet!  I was a crochet-er before that, so yarn has always been a friend to me. Someday I would love to have a fiber producing animal. Can I ask you - can you also milk your goats? My dh and I make all our soap and we use a store bought goatsmilk as we can't seem to find a local person willing to part with their milk. It would be fantastic to be able to both get fiber and milk from the same animal. (nope I'm not greedy!)


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## phbailey (Sep 18, 2012)

Cyndi, It is a pretty crummy club that you are now a member of - I too lost my daddy - two years ago. He was only 56 (I guess I say only as I feel cheated and miss him terribly). I am so happy (I know that sounds strange to say) that you got to be there as he left this world and went on to the next. It really is a beautiful and special time to share with someone you dearly love. I think it is all part of the circle - being there to attend a birth... and also attend a death, both can be beautiful and full of love. I hope you can be spared any more pain from your sister - unfortunately, as I have experienced - death in the family can turn some people ugly. Don't let her turn you into someone you're not (a quote I heard on the radio today that I need to apply to myself, too). BIG HUG.


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## gone-a-milkin (Mar 4, 2007)

I never did milk my Angora doe.
She had twins this year and the breeder chose to bottle feed the doeling and leave the buckling on the doe.

I have the doe and her wether now and she is finally weaning him after 6 months.
She never had a huge udder and ALL that hair to get through? 
For *me* milk comes from cows.  
I cannot see training this doe to the milkstand when I can get Jersey milk where I work (on a 100 head family-owned dairy) for way less trouble.
Dont get me wrong, I have milked goats before, and drank the milk just fine.  
But fiber goats are NOT dairy animals. 
They grow a lot slower for one thing. They put a lot of energy into growing that hair, an inch a month.

The logistics of milking for home use and raising kids too? I dont think that would be the best use of my time. 
A person could get a nice dairy breed doe who would convert feed to milk much better.
I think you kind of have to choose one or the other: milk or fiber.
Maybe you could sacrifice one a bit for the other and get 'some' of both, but I haven't seen evidence to support the viability of that.

The thing to remember with these Angora goats is that their hair gets more 'coarse' as they age. The most prime fiber comes from animals under a year old. 
Most breeders wait until they are 2/or 2.5 to breed them and by then their fiber is not so soft any more. 
So you want to have some premium quality animals in order to justify raising them that long.

I do not intend to breed my goats. My pen for them is only alf an acre, and feed is crazy expensive this year.
Honestly, I am not overly enamored of goats, generally. They are kind of uppity and loud and super picky.
They waste feed and poop in their water bucket. Weirdo animals and kind of needy for my taste.
I tolerate it for the fiber, but I am not *all about* them. No offense to those who are. 

That said, I am really enjoying these Angoras.
It was very satisfying to hold down each one of them and OWN them all while I sheared.
The kid mohair is some amazing fiber to work with, even though Reggie DID try to work me over w/ his teeth and horns at first. 
We have a better understanding of eachother after that first shearing. 

I am much bigger than he is. 
He is so much softer and cuter though.


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## Marchwind (May 10, 2002)

Woodpecker I will be keeping you and your surgical team in my thoughts on Friday. Please let us know how everything comes out. I take it you will be staying in the hospital? Otherwise maybe you can still go to Rienbeck if you took it really slowly.

Welcome to The Fold Gunk Girl! Sounds to me like you have a lot of knitting experience under your belt. We sure can help make your dreams come true or at least encourage you to make it happen


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## phbailey (Sep 18, 2012)

Gone-a-milking, 
Thanks for sharing the info with me. I live in a rural area with lots of dairy cows, horses, some goats, some sheep and tons of chickens all around us. We used to have 40 chickens, but they all got old and went "away" at around the same time, since we bought them all as a set of chicks together. I also got a puppy around that same time and just didn't have the time I knew it would require to train her to not eat any new chicks so we just never got more. I would eventually like to get more. All this said to tell you my experience with owning livestock is pretty limited! 

I am way more tenderhearted than I realized and now know that I would not be able to own any meat animals myself. I am a meat eater and do not take for granted what goes into that - my kids and I have some amazing conversations regarding it, too. Meat doesn't grow at the grocery store.

I really do *wish* to someday have some fiber animals, but that may or may not ever happen. Dh has a *wish* to have a milk producing goat, but again that may never happen either. We do have lots of fun dreaming about all the *big plans* we have imagined.

I can see your point about fighting to get just a little bit of milk from a fiber goat - esp when you have cows milk in abundance. Goatsmilk is just a magical ingredient for soapmaking - we are very spoiled in this house - I have not bought a bar of soap in five years. I have used cows milk, but I like the product from the goatsmilk better. 

So, we will have to adjust our imaginings to include dairy goats and some other fiber animal.


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## MullersLaneFarm (Jul 23, 2004)

phbailey,
We have so much in common ... I was a crocheter that took up pointy sticks just so I could learn how to knit socks. G'ma taught me one winter in '68 but I didn't pick up pointy sticks again until some time in the past 10 years.

I'm a milk soaper also ... but prefer to use raw Jersey milk as my liquid of choice. I used fresh goat's milk (started with powdered, then canned before finding the real stuff) for a few years. IMHO, you just can't beat the high cream content of Jersey milk.

We have just about every farm animal except goats & sheep. We tried to keep goats one summer, but we didn't have 'water proof' tight fencing. They always found a way to get out! As for sheep ... I like using such a wide variety of fiber and there is a good selection of fiber flocks in my area that I'd rather support them.

GGirl ... another welcome to the fold! There are many days that I only visit the fiber & soapmaking forums on HT.

I won't get any more problems from Sister. She's in northern OK and I'm in Illinois. I've sent her a few texts letting her know I'm thinking of her, praying for her and inquiring how she's doing. She won't respond to my texts. Brother thinks once he has dispersed the last of Daddy's trust that none of us will hear from her again.. Probably true. All I can do is keep her in prayer.


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

Plans have change all. They found 2 more suspicious lumps in the same breast. Friday I now need a biopsy with MRI. The surgery should be next Thursday, God willing.


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## PKBoo (Apr 10, 2008)

Woodpecker said:


> Plans have change all. They found 2 more suspicious lumps in the same breast. Friday I now need a biopsy with MRI. The surgery should be next Thursday, God willing.


I saw a shooting star in the twilight of the evening when I was out feeding tonight, and said a prayer for you - strength for surgery, removal of all cancer, and complete healing for you.


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## weever (Oct 1, 2006)

(((Woodpecker))) Hoping for the best for you.


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

Thank you both very much!


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## mamajohnson (Nov 27, 2002)

Stay positive! I will pray hard. <<<hugs>>>


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## MullersLaneFarm (Jul 23, 2004)

Dear Father God, Please pass a Healing Hand over our Woodpecker. Keep her safe and of positive mind. Keep her doctor's eyes watchful and hands steady. Allow Dreamy to to put all her doubts in Your loving hands.


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

Thank you all. My oncologist thought that a Mascetomy might be the way to go. That is all depending on what they find after the biopsy. I am beyond devastated and heartbroken. I didn't sleep last night worrying. If I need to go that route, I am going to need Chemo. Lots of crying lately.


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## Miz Mary (Feb 15, 2003)

(((hugs ))) Woodpecker ...... prayers for you


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## Falls-Acre (May 13, 2009)

Sometimes, for me, it's not always easy to share the hard things. I don't want to take away from other people on here, but I have no one else with whom I can talk, because she has strictly forbidden it. My mother will go under the knife in mid-November for a full hysterectomy. Cervical cancer. She was diagnosed several years ago and they went in then, performed a D & C, and removed all potentially cancerous tissues. They thought they'd gotten it all. Until a few weeks ago when they did a routine, and what was supposed to be her last before being cleared, screening.

She's instructed them to take the entire reproductive tract, lest the cancer show up anywhere else. The only people that know about this are myself and her spouse. She won't even tell his daughter until maybe a few days before the surgery, and only then because she now lives with them (she's 17).

I live 300 miles away from my mother. Never before has that distance felt more of a burden.


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

I met with my Surgeon. It seems as if I do have more cancer the mascetomy would need to be done
and often the cancer spreads to the other breast so most people do both. I am very scared and confused. Please pray that these aren't cancerous. I am facing the longest and hardest road of my life.


Fallsacre you are in my prayers.


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## SvenskaFlicka (Nov 2, 2011)

Woodpecker, I am praying for you.


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## Marchwind (May 10, 2002)

(((((((((((((((((((((Falls Acres))))))))))))))))))))))

(((((((((((((((((((((Wood Pecker)))))))))))))))))))

Nothing like being on the other side of the screen when all I want to do is hug you all and hold your hands through your hard times. I am so thankful for this group and that we can offer comfort for those who need it.


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## frazzlehead (Aug 23, 2005)

Oh, FallsAcre, that is a horrible secret to have to bear. I understand people want privacy, but to shut out your OWN loved ones, and deny them the opportunity to be of support and service to you is a terribly selfish thing, I think. And to put the burden of the secret on you, so that you have nobody you can share this with ... how unfair! I hope that the surgery goes well and that they get it all, and that her recovery is uneventful ... and that everyone is brought in on what's happening so that they can have the joy of being helpful!

Woodpecker, I know this must be very emotional and scary for you. I wouldn't want to have to lose any part of me ... not my hair, not my breasts, not my arms or legs ... but I'd rather live with a little less of me than leave here early, I have more to do yet and I'm not ready to go unless I really have to! Just breathe ... remember, whatever is coming is coming, so focus on what you'll do for the various possible outcomes. That way, your energy goes towards constructive work: making plans for different alternatives makes you more ready to handle whatever actually does come your way (even if what ends up coming your way isn't any of the scenarios you imagined ... preparedness is always a good thing, right?). We're homesteaders, we are all about being prepared! 

It's okay to be sad and scared. Feel what you feel, and try as hard as you can to just be in THIS moment, and to do what you can NOW to be ready for whatever may be coming up next. Put meals in the freezer, do the laundry now, line up folks to help you out if you end up sick for some time, research your options for community service type things (rides? does the pharmacy deliver? does the grocery store deliver?) and then you'll feel more confident, knowing you've done what you can. The rest is in the hands of God ... as are you.

Sending strength and courage to you both.


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## jd4020 (Feb 24, 2005)

Such deep valleys some of you are going through. I would like to add my prayers for each of you as you walk this path. For God to give you strength and comfort as only He can give. For healing and for peace to rest in Him.

Welcome to all you new folks to the group. I'm somewhat new to the group myself and have learned so much from these helpful enablers--I know they'll help/enable you as well. 

Harvest is in full swing here on our farm. We are always behind everyone else because we no till. (plant later in the spring) The rain has called us to a halt today. There is always a never ending list of things to do here on the farm, I have yet to finish up the garden, we're still getting tomatoes and I have to pull up the sweet potato hills. There is compost to add to the raised beds. I need to trim hooves on various critters, and still two pens, the barn and the lot to clean out. Goats to be bred. Fiber to clean and process. My plant room down the basement is cleaned up and ready for when I start seeds next Feb. and I got a really sweet deal at an auction---3 grow light shelf units (3 shelves on each) for $17.00 each.
All that will get done, but it will have to be done around the most special thing of all. My life has changed and this is who I get to see everyday now. 








I have started to babysit my grand daughter as my daughter returns to work. While I do wish she could be a sahm, I am glad she asked me to be her sitter. I won't deny that it is a wonderful privilege to once again hold a baby in my arms. (our son, who is the youngest, is now 22, so it's been a long time) She is so sweet and I'll admit to having baby mush brain. 








She won't be here tomorrow, so I'm hitting my list and taking the dog to the vet to get her shots, etc. Dh will be doing some catch up work as well since it'll still be wet and/or raining.
All praise to God and God bless,
jd


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## Shazza (Nov 20, 2004)

I just popped in to say I have finished shawlette number 2 from the KAL pattern....and have read the struggles some of you are having in your lives at the moment and feel deeply saddened. 
I will be praying for y'll and will be sending lots of Puggy get well vibes to you.
What about a picture of my 2 baby boys....they might cheer some of you up 

Chappy











Mikey


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## gone-a-milkin (Mar 4, 2007)

Aww, babies!
Peoples and Puglets!

Right now at my place I am wondering if my skittish Angora doe might be preggers.
She is very round, with the flat undercarriage, poochy lady parts, and some udder development. 
The very latest she could possibly kid out would be November 5th.
She has not been exposed to a buck since she has been HERE. It would have had to happen right before I got her.
Maybe she is just being chubby, but I am seriously wondering.
Not Aurora but CeCe. She would have to have been bred right before I got her and it seems unlikely. But still. 

Keeping me guessing. 

Hmmm....she is a slippery girl and I wouldnt put anything past her.


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

Can't sleep boy does that "m word" really scare me. Thank you all for your prayers and support during this difficult time.


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## Miz Mary (Feb 15, 2003)

Fallsacre, you are in my prayers as well .... 

Woodpecker, hugs to you .... 


..PUPPIES !!! Cute puppies !!


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## SvenskaFlicka (Nov 2, 2011)

GAM, sounds like she is preggers. That will be "fun" in November! Keep us posted as to what happens!


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## IowaLez (Mar 6, 2006)

Woodpecker, my thoughts and some advice -

I am really sorry you are facing this difficult situation. I wish there were more ways we could help you get thru it than just posting prayers on this forum.

I have a very rare, genetic cancer syndrome myself, FAP, and have to go to Mayo Clinic twice a year or more, for treatment to keep on living. I have had to have major body parts removed, too. So I can totally relate to your situation.

First of all, EDUCATE YOURSELF with quality, REAL, authoritative medical information about your disease. Go to MayoClinic.com, .org, and .edu. Or check out the Cleveland Clinic website, for the best and most up-to-date cancer treatment information in the USA. MD Anderson may have a good website, too. Knowledge is your helper and friend. Knowledge helps you cope with the fear much better. Be prepared. You need to be actively involved in your medical care for the best outcome.

You need to make a list of questions for your doctor, about the surgery, the hospital stay, what it will be like afterwards, about recovery and what help you will need at home, physical therapy, alternative surgeries and treatments, and so forth. Google Search your doctor's name and experience.

Ask the doctor what the morbidity and mortality rates for him/the surgery are. Morbidity is the medical term for the complication rate. Mortality is the death rate. Some medical centers and hospitals and doctors have high ones, and that you should avoid.

You will most likely go through an emotional process of fear, anger, sadness and grief, resentment, until you finally get through all that to acceptance, relief, discovery, and the ability to be happy again. Life always goes on, it never stops. Life after surgery will be different, forever, yet still the same; in the end, you will still be you, with or without your body parts. You will still be loveable, and attractive to the one who loves you. Also, the special person in your life, if there is one, will go thru a grief/healing process, too.


I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers as you go thru this.


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## frazzlehead (Aug 23, 2005)

What WIHH said.


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

IowaLez said:


> Woodpecker, my thoughts and some advice -
> 
> I am really sorry you are facing this difficult situation. I wish there were more ways we could help you get thru it than just posting prayers on this forum.
> 
> ...


Thank you, I am trying to educate myself as much as possible. I always go to the Mayo Clinic website, I find them to be accurate. I am going through the grief proccess. Still at fear, life goes on though. Thank you for your prayers and advice.


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## Marchwind (May 10, 2002)

Woodpecker do you ave someone in your life to help you through this both now and afterward?

Shazza those puppies are so cute

Lezlie fantastic advice


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

Marchwind said:


> Woodpecker do you ave someone in your life to help you through this both now and afterward?
> 
> Shazza those puppies are so cute
> 
> Lezlie fantastic advice


Yes thank God! My Mom and Brother are here for me always.


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## Marchwind (May 10, 2002)

Oh good that makes a huge difference  I'm glad to hear that


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

Marchwind said:


> Oh good that makes a huge difference  I'm glad to hear that


Yes thank God they are here they are trying to keep me calm. Mom has been going with me to all my appoinments too.


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## Caren (Aug 4, 2005)

Ladies I have been following the woodpecker and falls acres stories as they have unfolded; I have refrained from commenting because God did not gift me with the ability to know what to say in these situations. I often wish I was better with words so I can offer comfort. The truth is I just never know what to say. But that doesn't mean I don't care.

A few years ago when I was going through my divorce everyone was so supportive Cyndi Even sent me a box of soap ends to cheer me up! Thank you Cyndi!

I guess what I am trying to say is this forum makes a pretty darn good support group and I will try to be a better "friend". And at least send some cyber hugs your way!


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## Pearl B (Sep 27, 2008)

Caren couldnt have expressed what I was also thinking any better. I too have been following your posts, and wish I was better with wording my sentiments.

I too will be holding you in my thoughts and praying that God will give you the strength you need to go through this, and for a healing, for you both.


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## Falls-Acre (May 13, 2009)

Caren, honestly I don't know what to say myself!

I hadn't really allowed myself to think about it much, and that feels wrong, but honestly I don't want to think about it. If I thought to myself, "it's a routine hysterectomy, people have them all the time." Then I remember that my mother is an asthmatic and every time she's put under, she runs the risk of not waking back up. It's why she's put off a hysterectomy for so long and sought "other" treatments for the various female ailments she's suffered a large portion of her adult life. I'm too young to have to be without my mother, and honestly she's too young to have to be going through this. Then I start thinking about possible repercussions. What if she is lost, that would likely mean the end of my ties with my family. She's the glue that holds us all together and without her we'd all just drift away, or at least I would...

This is why I try not to think about it.

I'd rather think about other things instead, like how my 3YO son is constantly asking if we are going to visit her every time we get in the car. 

I'd rather think about fiber... I went to check on my needle order at the LYS. Finally talked to the lady that owns the store who told me she couldn't get the order in until Wednesday, so it would be next week at the earliest. She couldn't get the actual needles I needed, evidently the maker stopped manufacturing them in that particular size and length (grrrr!), so instead she ordered me a comparable set made from birch. I was dubious at first til she showed me a similar set that were very nice. Except I'll be terrified my son will break them too.  I browsed her yarns and brought home 3 smallish skeins of worsted weight icelandic wool and a _purdy_ ball of turquoise mohair. No idea what I'll use either of them for, but they were pretty!!! LOL


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## Marchwind (May 10, 2002)

Caren and others who may not know what to say in situations like this. First don't feel obligated to say anything, don't feel guilty. If you want the person to know you are thinking, praying, meditating, knitting or anything else for them just simply say that. Some people are far more gifted with words than others and some days are better than others.

A very simple ((((((((((((((((((((((((person's name))))))))))))))))))))))))))) does a lot for that person, or even a "I'm thinking of you as you experience......"

Please don't feel guilty. It is the thought that counts. You can also always send a private message to that person.

Caren I think your words did just what you wanted them to do. We all care about these people, this is a very caring group


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## MullersLaneFarm (Jul 23, 2004)

Please keep Dreamy (Woodpecker) in your thoughts and prayers today.


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

Caren thank you I often feel like that myself. I had my biopsy today, I kept praying it wouldnt show up agian on the MRI but it did. I now have two clips inside me, they hurt badly. I have a high pain tolerance so I know this really isn't good. I am also wearing an ace bandage and using ice on and off. I couldnt even play with my chickens or dogs because I am too sore. I was at the hospital most of the day. I didn't know they were going to put clips in even though I read about it therefore I am in shock. I do want to say that you all mean alot to me and are really helping me get through this. God bless you all!


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## weever (Oct 1, 2006)

Gentle hugs, Woodpecker. Hoping you will feel a bit less sore today.


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

Aww thank you weaver. Soon I can take off the Ace bandage. That should make me more comfortable.


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## frazzlehead (Aug 23, 2005)

I wanted you to know, Woodpecker, I was thinking of you yesterday. Sorry to hear you are uncomfortable and that the MRI is showing more trouble. I suppose the good news is that you're getting it all taken care of! Be gentle with yourself and take all the help you need.

FallsAcre, I'm rooting for you, too. Different kind if troubles but hard anyhow.

Thanks to all of the forum for being so wonderfully encouraging and supportive!


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

I just took off the ace bandage. It hit me that by body was beautiful the way it was and now will be forever changed. I know my health is more important but its still hard emotinally. Praying hard that those 2 spots are nothing. Today marks 10 days since I was diganosed. At least I'm not in too much pain right now. God is good he will help me through this somehow.


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## Falls-Acre (May 13, 2009)

Today was our monthly 'swap' and I visited a small craft show. There were sheep at the swap! It's the first time I've seen them there. They were Suffolk/Hampshire crosses, the mom is full into 4H with her kids. She had 2 very well-mannered boys with her. The older one really admired my work and the younger one expressed an interest in learning to knit. They pulled their mom over and she & I were talking about 4H. At some point I mentioned spinning and she asked if I would come do a demo for the 4H kids next spring. She wants them to have a bit wider view of the animals they are raising and to learn that many species have multiple uses.

Later in the day I went to visit a craft show, I discovered it too late to participate, but that's okay. It was very slow, but I recognized some of the people there and got talking with a lady that was offering knitted hats. I was really impressed with her items. She uses a loom to make them, scarves too. She used interesting textured yarns and had some of the most fascinating colors!

It's interesting the people you meet in an average day.


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## gone-a-milkin (Mar 4, 2007)

Falls-Acre,

I think that would be great if you did a demo of what can be done w/ wool for those kids.
One of the things I have been amazed by amongst the sheep growers is how little value some of them place on the fiber.
Of course it takes some marketing to sell fleece, but a lot of them dont even know that there are 'still' people who spin yarn. 

I guess that since I was brought up differently, it just sort of stuns methat anyone would just throw all their wool directly in the compost w/o ever questioning another use for it.
That just seems so wasteful.

Sounds like you had a great day and made some good contacts.


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## PKBoo (Apr 10, 2008)

gone-a-milkin said:


> Aww, babies!
> Peoples and Puglets!
> 
> Right now at my place I am wondering if my skittish Angora doe might be preggers.


How did I miss this?????? Little Ce-Ce, a momma? Oh GAM - I hope so! Yummy kid mohair! And she's such a gorgeous color! Oh I'm so excited haha - I love love love little goatie babies

Falls-Acres glad you met people to share your firber stuff with - that's great! Hope they follow up with you and you're able to demo for them.

woodpecker - I've been thinking about you. Glad you are feeling a little better today. All that matters is what's on the inside, so just keep saying that to yourself! You are beautiful inside and out!


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

PKBoo said:


> How did I miss this?????? Little Ce-Ce, a momma? Oh GAM - I hope so! Yummy kid mohair! And she's such a gorgeous color! Oh I'm so excited haha - I love love love little goatie babies
> 
> Falls-Acres glad you met people to share your firber stuff with - that's great! Hope they follow up with you and you're able to demo for them.
> 
> woodpecker - I've been thinking about you. Glad you are feeling a little better today. All that matters is what's on the inside, so just keep saying that to yourself! You are beautiful inside and out!


Thank you. I've been thinking of you too, there is suppossed to be a metor shower tonight. I'm going to go down to the beach and see how many prayers I can send up.


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## sweet_mae (May 11, 2002)

prayers going up


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

Thank you. I get my 2nd biopsy results tomorrow, so I am a bundle of nerves today.


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## frazzlehead (Aug 23, 2005)

Whatever comes, you will face it with strength and courage.

Tomorrow you'll be given the grace to deal with tomorrow's events ... today, you have the grace you need to make it through today.

Wishing peace and equanimity for you in this hard time.


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

frazzlehead said:


> Whatever comes, you will face it with strength and courage.
> 
> Tomorrow you'll be given the grace to deal with tomorrow's events ... today, you have the grace you need to make it through today.
> 
> Wishing peace and equanimity for you in this hard time.


Thank you, I pray to God that is so.


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## Pigeon Lady (Apr 4, 2004)

Hey guys! Haven't been able to keep up with you all here for a week or so. Ken butchered some of the pigs. I've been joined at the hip to the stove rendering lard and making soap. I have a week off now until he butchers the last one next weekend. It's a long job but just didn't want to waste all that fat.

Woodpecker, I saw your sad news while taking a quick peek in here last week. Want you to know that you've been in my thoughts constantly. Are you alone, do you have friends and family for support? Will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs to you. Have you started your granny squares?

Pauline


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## Falls-Acre (May 13, 2009)

ya'll already know about yesterday. Today I took my kids to Cestari farms, which isn't too far away from us. They are starting to be really popular! We went to their annual pumpkin festival. Kids had a great time with all the rides and things. Me, I was enthralled with their yarn mill and fiber store on-site! I came away with several skeins of their Merino wool and some of their custom blend. My best buy though was a bag of their sock remnants. Imagine a huge bag of beautiful, incomplete, natural colored socks! If you don't quite get it... Think what you might do with them. I'm thinking unraveled they'd yield a ton of awesome sock weight yarns! Alternatively, I could cut them into narrow loops and let the kids use them to make potholders. Or even make some hand puppets. Lots of great uses for them.


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

Pigeon Lady said:


> Hey guys! Haven't been able to keep up with you all here for a week or so. Ken butchered some of the pigs. I've been joined at the hip to the stove rendering lard and making soap. I have a week off now until he butchers the last one next weekend. It's a long job but just didn't want to waste all that fat.
> 
> Woodpecker, I saw your sad news while taking a quick peek in here last week. Want you to know that you've been in my thoughts constantly. Are you alone, do you have friends and family for support? Will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs to you. Have you started your granny squares?
> 
> Pauline


Thank you. I do have my mom and brother with me, Thank God. They are very supportive. The granny squares have been changed to a pillow that Marchwind suggested. I am waiting till I can concentrate before I start. I am looking forward to it though.


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

Got my results from my biopsy. One is benign the other is cancerous. Now due to the fact that I have 2 cancerous tumors my oncologist recommended a Mascetomy. However I feel in my heart this is the wrong thing for me at this time. I am sad and conflicted. 26 years too young.


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## mamajohnson (Nov 27, 2002)

please do lots of research. Take your time. No reason to rush.
Look at one link here, if I ever get cancer again I would take this route. That is from someone who has been there, done that. I had chemo and the whole routine. The surgery I had didn't really remove body parts, but was a very painful and extensive D&C. 

This may sound 'preachy' to some, but what I see in it is a positive place to start thinking about how to treat cancer.
I am slap dab serious when I say I would never ever go the conventional cancer treatment route again. Never. Ever. 
I do my best to stay healthy, and although I am not on a strict routine like this, I try to be as healthy as possible.

History: Hallelujah Acres

I won't say much else on here, Woodpecker, but there are lots of options. PM me if you want. Willing to talk and be there for you.
((hugs))


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## weever (Oct 1, 2006)

Woodpecker, I'm sorry to hear that there is more cancer (but glad to hear that one is benign!)... 26 *is* too young to deal with that sort of situation. I think it's a good idea to ask lots of people you trust for their advice, study up, pray/think about what you want to do, etc.


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## PKBoo (Apr 10, 2008)

Woodpecker - I've been thinking about you today, and I'm sorry to hear the results. 

You are a strong woman, so you will come through this! Surround yourself with support, and research, research, research!

My thoughts and prayers are with you! I look to the sky every night and think of you now


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

Thank you all. I am doing all the research I can, I will be meeting with my surgeon tomorrow. 

PKBOO- everytime I look at the sky here and pray I think of you too. Many thanks all!


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## frazzlehead (Aug 23, 2005)

Oh, Woodpecker, such mixed news!

Take your time deciding, there are lots of folks you can talk to now, it's not the dark secret it once was. Just remember that when you don't know what to do, the time to decide hadn't come yet. When you truly have to choose, you'll know.


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

frazzlehead said:


> Oh, Woodpecker, such mixed news!
> 
> Take your time deciding, there are lots of folks you can talk to now, it's not the dark secret it once was. Just remember that when you don't know what to do, the time to decide hadn't come yet. When you truly have to choose, you'll know.


Wise words frazzlehead. Thank you for them!


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## Miz Mary (Feb 15, 2003)

Sorry for your news..... good people here for you , even if we just "listen" .... praying for you ....


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## Pearl B (Sep 27, 2008)

Woodpecker ((Hugs))


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

Miz Mary said:


> Sorry for your news..... good people here for you , even if we just "listen" .... praying for you ....


Thank you, sometimes I feel like the doctors and all don't listen enough.


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## jd4020 (Feb 24, 2005)

Adding my thoughts & prayers for you Woodpecker. One of my dear friends went through this with the loss of on breast and some lymph nodes. She also talked to a lot of people before she made her decisions.
(((hugs)))
jd


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

Thank you! What the doctors don't understand is that my faith is in my GOD to heal me and that I am not emotinally ready for the "M" word. I wish they would stop, it is making me very upset. I know they have to mention it but in my heart I know that is not the path for me at this time.


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## mamajohnson (Nov 27, 2002)

Woodpecker said:


> Thank you! What the doctors don't understand is that my faith is in my GOD to heal me and that I am not emotinally ready for the "M" word. I wish they would stop, it is making me very upset. I know they have to mention it but in my heart I know that is not the path for me at this time.


God is faithful. You keep searching. I know you will find the right answer.


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## frazzlehead (Aug 23, 2005)

Woodpecker, remember that God has no hands in this world but those that that people choose to give into his service. The hands that do God's work might just be those of a surgeon.

Let yourself sit with all the ideas for awhile. Go through the mastectomy as a 'thought experiment'. Imagine yourself waking up and looking different. Imagine getting prosthetics. Imagine what it would REALLY be like. It's not ideal, no, but it's not so awful as one might think (I have a friend who had a mastectomy done).

Let yourself sit with the other ideas too. If you don't do the full surgery, is a lumpectomy one of the options you've been given? What would that be like? What other treatment choices have you got? What will happen? What will make you feel the most confident that the cancer is gone, so that you aren't always worrying? 

Scary things get less scary the more we know, and the more you can 'practice' something in your mind, the better you know how you might truly feel about it and how you might handle it.

Take your time with it all. Keep all your options open until you KNOW what to do.


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

Thank you Frazzle, once agian you are wise.


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## frazzlehead (Aug 23, 2005)

Well, I've had a lot of chaos in my life and have been very lucky to have had good guidance through a lot of it (guidance I didn't always listen to, but I remembered it after!).

I tend to rush to conclusions, it's how I am wired. Keeping my options open makes me antsy ... I just want to scream "I don't care what you decide, just PICK SOMETHING ALREADY!" Unfortunately, I've learned the hard way that this can lead me into disaster. Big decisions need to be allowed to take the time they need. The tricky thing is that I can fool myself into thinking I'm being open minded, but really deep down inside I've already made up my mind, and then I sift and squish all the information I get so that it fits with my foregone conclusion. And I don't even realize I'm doing it. I have to try REALLY HARD not to make up my mind about things too quickly, it takes concerted effort and constantly reminding myself that "the time to decide hasn't come yet, keep gathering information and don't choose anything yet."

I just hope that by sharing my experiences I can help someone else avoid the pits I dropped into. Makes my prior suffering seem more worthwhile if someone besides me can learn from it, eh? 

For you right now, just remember that the cancer's been there for some time, doing it's thing. Taking a few weeks now for 'think time' isn't going to mean the difference between life and death (not with this type of cancer, I believe, though there are some types of cancer where your window of decision making time is short, as the doubling rate can be absolutely astounding: this is the case with advanced brain tumours, for instance, which I have direct experience with). You *have* some time, which is great.

You might find that writing your 'thought experiments' out like a story helps you take a step back and look at things more objectively. Write it in the third person: "Woodpecker went to the hospital early in the morning and they put a wrist band on her and admitted her to the ward. The surgeon came for a visit and told her everything would be fine, and her mom and brother were right there with her until they wheeled her into the OR." Tell the whole story like it was in a book, like it was someone else. I have found this really helpful, especially when I'm thinking about things that bring up big feelings in me, as it kind of 'backs me up a step'. You can tell the same story with different endings, and think it all through that way.

It's hard work, but it's worth it. You are so very young, you have a long life ahead of you! Carefully considered choices now mean fewer regrets later ... ask me how I know that.


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

Thanks frazzle agian as I've mentioned a couple times you are wise! I am thinking of keeping a journal of my journey. It's just hard to write down.


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## Caren (Aug 4, 2005)

Before ruling out the option of mastectomy please research what they can do with reconstructive surgery.

I can't imagine what it must be like for you to be facing a mastectomy at 26, I am 41 and even now it would be devistating news. So much of our sexuality is wrapped up in our breasts it is sad but true and the thought of loseing a breast maybe less than sexy but a least if you went through with the surgery you would have abetter chance of living a full and fulfilling life.

Do your research and pray!

I will try to help you with the research and send links when I find something interesting that may help.


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## Caren (Aug 4, 2005)

I just thought of something for you to ask your dr about! Sometimes they are able to empty the contents of the breast and then later put in an implant. It might be just a shot in the dark........ But who knows


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

Thanks, I'll look into it. I've been praying all day.


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## frazzlehead (Aug 23, 2005)

Hey, someone on my FB feed posted this article today ... interesting! This tattoo artist remakes nipples for women post mastectomy/reconstruction. 

Made me think of our conversations here, so I thought I'd share!


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## Caren (Aug 4, 2005)

I read the article Frazzlehead. It was just beautiful!

Look at this one!
Expander Implant post mastectomy reconstruction


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

Thanks Frazzel, that is something to consider. My surgery is still set for tomorrow. As Frazzel said I didn't know what choice to make until it was time. I do now God told me in my heart. I know this is the path God want's me to take. Thank you all for your advice and prayers.


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## frazzlehead (Aug 23, 2005)

Love to you, Woodpecker ... I am glad you have peace with the decision. We'll be thinking of you tomorrow!

Caren, that's a really interesting technique - what clever things people have come up with, eh?


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## Marchwind (May 10, 2002)

Maybe I'm odd but I think there is something strikingly beautiful about a women who has gone through breast cancer, mastectomy, and come out the other side. To me those scars and loss of a breast are more powerful than any other thing I can think of. But to me my breasts, although nice, are NOT the focus of my life. They are not ME. they are a part of me but they do NOT define me as who I am or as a woman. I have a friend who knows someone who had this done after a mastectomy and I am told it was very well done and beautiful.

I cannot tell you how many women I "pat-down" in my job who have lost one or more breasts. They are no less womanly or feminine. They are who they are, brave women who have done battle and have come out the other side. Though, me it is something to be very proud of. Not unlike a solider who has fought in a war and comes home with war wounds. This/these will be your war wounds and you should NEVER be ashamed of them, ever.

You are in my thoughts and I'm sending you powerful self esteem and strong worrier thoughts.


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

Thank you Marchwind, I will warrior on somehow. I will use my needles as weapons in this fight.


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## Caren (Aug 4, 2005)

Marchie, at out ages our breasts are just sort of there...........At 26 they are so much more...From providing allure to catch a mate to breast feeding a baby and giving the baby someplace to rest their head as they go to sleep and lets face it a place for your spouse to warm his hand on a cold winter night!

But what they are able to do now is absolutely amazing! I wouldn't fear a mastectomy the cancer that would be the cause of the mastectomy would scare me; but these days a mastectomy is a hurdle to jump not the end of the road........


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

Caren said:


> Marchie, at out ages our breasts are just sort of there...........At 26 they are so much more...From providing allure to catch a mate to breast feeding a baby and giving the baby someplace to rest their head as they go to sleep and lets face it a place for your spouse to warm his hand on a cold winter night!
> 
> But what they are able to do now is absolutely amazing! I wouldn't fear a mastectomy the cancer that would be the cause of the mastectomy would scare me; but these days a mastectomy is a hurdle to jump not the end of the road........


Caren you explained my feelings perfectly, thank you for voicing what I could not.


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## Pigeon Lady (Apr 4, 2004)

What time is your surgery, Woodpecker? Will be thinking and praying for you - and your Mom and brother-the whole time. 

Love and Big hugs!

Pauline


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## Caren (Aug 4, 2005)

You are sooooooo welcome sweetie!


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

Pigeon Lady said:


> What time is your surgery, Woodpecker? Will be thinking and praying for you - and your Mom and brother-the whole time.
> 
> Love and Big hugs!
> 
> Pauline


I need to be at the hospital at 9am. I am getting nervous now. Thank you for your prayers and support for not only myself but my family as well.


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## Marchwind (May 10, 2002)

Breathe in, and breathe out. I know it sounds stupid but really do it and concentrate on a slow deep breath. When you are scared it is so easy to not breath properly and that alone can create problems and make you more anxious. 

Pick up your knitting, put on a good movie or soothing music and sit back in a chair and breathe and knit. Then before bed take a nice hot bubble bath by candle light (remember to breath). Take care of yourself right now as much as you can. Relax into the bath, close your eyes and visualize what you want to happen tomorrow. Go to your happy place  Then go to bed and have sweet dreams

You will be in my thoughts tomorrow.


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## Pigeon Lady (Apr 4, 2004)

Yes, everything Marchie said! Especially the breathing.

Here's your soothing music. I'm knitting something for you and this is what I've been listening to while thinking of you: Close your eyes and envision the cancer receding into the wild blue yonder, never to return.

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IaFUBA7tiAY]Arvo Part - Spiegel im Spiegel - Mirror in Mirror - YouTube[/ame]

We're all keeping you very close in our hearts.

Pauline


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## IowaLez (Mar 6, 2006)

I will chant daimoku for you tonight and tomorrow morning, Woodpecker, (I am a Nichiren Buddhist), when I do my daily services. We will all keep you in our thoughts as you go thru this. I hope we hear from you again soon, that you are okay and back at home.


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## Marchwind (May 10, 2002)

Pauline that's beautiful. If you like opera this is a favorite of mine, it was in the movie Shawshank Redemption. It is by Mozart from The Marriage of Figaro 
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnYn38BwvqU&feature=related]Mozart - Le Nozze di Figaro - "Sull&#39;aria" [Bartoli and Fleming] - YouTube[/ame]


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## PKBoo (Apr 10, 2008)

Woodpecker - also imagine yourself wrapped in a warm fibery blanket of love from all of us who are thinking about you! 

Go knit - bubble bath - peaceful music - and pray. We're all with you :grouphug:


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## frazzlehead (Aug 23, 2005)

Woodpecker, I was thinking of you tonight as we drove home ... I sent thoughts of peace and comfort to you as best I could, hope they made it all the way to your house.

You'll be fine. _When the fear has gone past, I will turn the inner eye and see fear's path. Where it has gone there will be nothing, only I will remain._

I will hold you in the Light. (I'm a Quaker. )


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## iloveafarmer (Feb 23, 2008)

I'm new to this board and just caught up with this thread. Woodpecker, I'll be praying for you too. I'm so sorry this is happening.


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## MullersLaneFarm (Jul 23, 2004)

I hope you can feel all the love, thoughts and prayers coming at you this morning.


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## mamajohnson (Nov 27, 2002)

Adding my prayers. And love. Was thinking about you this morning. 
I'm not good with words, just know your in my thoughts and prayers.


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## SvenskaFlicka (Nov 2, 2011)

I'm also praying for you as I sit here and knit this morning. May God hold you in his loving arms through this ordeal.


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## jd4020 (Feb 24, 2005)

I know it's afternoon now, but just wanted to let you know you've been in my thoughts and prayers as well.
God bless,
jd


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

Thank you all, I felt all your prayers in the holding room. Surgery went welll praise the Lord. I will write more later as I feel better. Your prayers are so soft, I can feel them. Thank you all!


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

Surgery went well, they got all the cancer and the lymph node were good, God is awesome. I have to go back to my surgeon Monday.


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## Marchwind (May 10, 2002)

Yay for a successful surgery! Yay for the surgeons! Yay for it being over! Now get lots of rest so your body can heal up well. Pamper yourself while you are at it.


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## Pigeon Lady (Apr 4, 2004)

Didn't expect to hear from you so soon! That's fantastic news!! Wishing you a tranquil night with a good long, healing sleep.

Pauline


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

Thank you both. I got the satin the I order from Amazon today. So tomorrow I learn ribbing! Wool pillow here I come.


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## weever (Oct 1, 2006)

AH! Without internet for 2 days and here your surgery is over with. Well, then, I'm praying for good test results, quick healing, and peace. Glad to hear from you.


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## Caren (Aug 4, 2005)

Ok now I am lost!

what does satin, ribbing and wool pillows all have in common? And Why would you concern your self with these things so soon after a major surgery......

As the nurse of the group I recommend complete bed rest with bathroom priveleges only................Trust me you don't want to pop your stitches or compromise and healing taking place under those stitches..............


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## PKBoo (Apr 10, 2008)

Woodpecker said:


> Surgery went well, they got all the cancer and the lymph node were good, God is awesome. I have to go back to my surgeon Monday.


Oh Woodpecker I'm so happy to hear this!!!! DO NOTHING but rest for the next day or so! So so happy!! :dance:


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## jd4020 (Feb 24, 2005)

Praise the Lord! I'll continue to pray for healing and re-covery.
jd


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## mamajohnson (Nov 27, 2002)

Woodpecker said:


> Thank you both. I got the satin the I order from Amazon today. So tomorrow I learn ribbing! Wool pillow here I come.


Great to have something to keep you occupied. Just don't push yourself, if it hurts to knit then just love on the feel of the satin, do a little touch therapy! 
Woke up thinking about you, take it easy And know your in my prayers!


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## IowaLez (Mar 6, 2006)

I just want to pipe in here, that I found a source for qiviut cloud-carded musk ox fiber at $12 for a half ounce, or $20 per ounce. It normally sells for almost $40 per ounce. She had to buy 20 pounds of it, so has to move some quickly. Go to The Miller Girls on Etsy, or email Kay Miller at [email protected]. She also has hand dyed mawata silk hankies at a very good price.

I have some of the qiviut on it's way to me now. Just one ounce for now, but am going to get another ounce on the 1st. Can't wait to get it. Saw a pic of it, and it has not one guard hair in it.


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

Thank you all for your prayers and tip. I am going to take it easy today and think of all my dreams for my life and how God has gotten me so far already.

IowaLez Musk ox fiber? WOW that's cool!


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## MullersLaneFarm (Jul 23, 2004)

WP, the yarn arrived yesterday. It IS enough for a pair of socks!

I spent the day yesterday with young friends from my Single Mom group making tamales from scratch! Sweet tamales (with raisins & pineapple in the masa), pork, beef in red sauce , chicken in green sauce, some plain cheese and some cheese & jalapeno. We didn't get a final count, since we started eating them as soon as they came out of the steamer ... but it must have been around 200.

Yummy!


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

Yay so glad about the yarn! Tamales yummy, sounds like a fun day.


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## weever (Oct 1, 2006)

Glad to hear your good news, Woodpecker!


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## 7thswan (Nov 18, 2008)

WP, I'm so glad to hear you are doing well. My Prayers are with you.


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

Thank you so much. Yesterday was such a long day that I am relaxing today.


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## MullersLaneFarm (Jul 23, 2004)

Getting ready to cast on WoodPecker's socks


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## Miz Mary (Feb 15, 2003)

God is wonderful ! Good to hear your news Woodpecker !! 

Cyndi, thoes Tamales sound delicious !!!!


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## PKBoo (Apr 10, 2008)

Just checking in tonight - DH and I spent the afternoon/evening running around getting ready for "Sandy". I'm really hoping she veers off, and we don't get hit as hard as they are predicting...

Last year we had a 100-yr flood hear, and lost the fencing for the pasture across the street. We had it re-fenced with some more permanent fencing (of course thinking that we wouldn't get hit THAT hard in the next few years). We'll see what happens

Tomorrow will be spent in storm prep. We have to go to a wedding a few hours away later in the day, so we'll have a busy morning. We can survive with no power - the biggest concern is providing the animals with water. It'll just be a bunch of hauling - lots and lots of hauling


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## Pigeon Lady (Apr 4, 2004)

Woodpecker, are you at home? I thought they would keep you a while after an op like that.

Stay safe PKBoo! It looks to be a dooozy. Not sure what we'll get out of it, but we're about as prepared as we'll ever be.


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

Pigeon Lady said:


> Woodpecker, are you at home? I thought they would keep you a while after an op like that.
> 
> Stay safe PKBoo! It looks to be a dooozy. Not sure what we'll get out of it, but we're about as prepared as we'll ever be.


Yes I am home and Sandy is coming to say hello! I was out of the hospital the sameday. I am out of comission so I have to have my brother help me hurricane proof the chicken coop. The roof leaks already too. Bad timing indeed. On the upside I actually feel like doing something and of course I am not allowed outside, so I figure it's time to pick up my needles. I am in less pain now yesterday was bad. You all stay safe!


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## MullersLaneFarm (Jul 23, 2004)

Wind in Her Hair said:


> In restrospect, I would have filled food grade blue water barrells (lidded) with water and placed them strategically around the place. Then all I would have to do would be to tap those or dip out 5 gallon buckets full and dispense it as necessary. Its much easier to fill them now than it will be when the power is out to the well.


Paula,
See if you can (quickly) find a source for 50 gallon blue or white barrels (check dairy supply places, et al) and get them filled now.

When I lived on the eastern coast of NC, we kept a couple 50 gallon containers of water out by the livestock. We used that to regularly water them (spigot at the bottom of the barrel) and kept them filled. When hurricanes were predicted, we made sure the back up barrels were filled also.

We didn't have a hand water pump there, but when we got this place in IL, I made sure that we dug a sandpoint with a hand pump in case we needed extra water for power outages. 

Be safe!

eta:

I actually love power outages. It gives me a reason to put all this prepping to use!! LOL! We used to host non-electric weekends in dthe fall. The friends we invited over for it would call it our "little house" weekends. We never turned off the power to the house (because of the freezers) but taped over all the freezer, fridges, outlets & faucets. Food from the freezers would be taken out and put in cooler before the weekend started. Only light came from candles & lanterns, cooking was done on the wood stove or out on the camp fire. My kids never skipped a beat.

Families are supposed to have 'fire drills' routinely ... why not extend it to 'non-electrical drills'???


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## Falls-Acre (May 13, 2009)

We're in the hard path for Sandy too. My family even more so, since they live on the coast. My mother is actually here visiting with me now, but heading home tomorrow. My fingers are crossed they make it home safely before the storm. Tomorrow I'll be trying to get our outside prepped for the storm... or at least as much as I can. Our little city is usually very good at getting downed power back up quickly, so I'm less worried about that than I am other things. They're predicting nearly 3 solid days of high winds here and a possibility of between 1-2 FEET of snow. We've never had snow this early in anyone here's memories. I have most of the critters battened down. Other than moving plants indoors, there's not a whole lot I can do to prep the rest of them.

Keep your fingers crossed for us. Traditionally, when the weather folk make huge deals out of storms, they turn out to be nothing. It's when they downplay or don't predict harsh storms that we really get socked! I'm not ready for long-term storm damage.


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## weever (Oct 1, 2006)

First of all, I am laughing a bit at your comment about "when the weather folk make huge deals out of storms, they turn out to be nothing," as that's been our experience, too. However, I am still praying for those in the path of these storms, as wet, heavy snow is no laughing matter.


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## Marchwind (May 10, 2002)

This storm is not looking good at all. It is back up to a hurricane or was last I heard. Stay safe everyone


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

Yup Im smack dab in the middle of Sandy last time I looked. Then I stopped looking.:lookout:

ETA: stay safe!


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## Pigeon Lady (Apr 4, 2004)

Woodpecker, I'm so worried about you! Svenska Flicka sent me your address and when I saw the track of the storm I took a look on Google Earth at where you are!!! I'm surprised that you're not under an evacuation order. You'll be in our prayers for sure!

The wind is picking up here. The only thing we have left to do is clean the wood cook stove chimney - Kens taking it apart as I write. I'm with you Cindi. Really like power outages, a good thing as we get lots of practice!

The sheep and the horses are free ranging so they can find there own comfort zone and drink from the creek. May turn everyone else loose too if it gets really bad. I just didn't want the goats to get pregnant so early.

Please keep my DH in your prayers. He's a firefighter and will be out there clearing the roads of fallen trees, putting out flu fires ( always a few at the beginning of the season) and assisting the rescue squad etc.

Prayers from here for all of you in the storm's path.

Pauline


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## PKBoo (Apr 10, 2008)

MullersLaneFarm said:


> Paula,
> See if you can (quickly) find a source for 50 gallon blue or white barrels (check dairy supply places, et al) and get them filled now.


We've got them! We have three of them in the barn, holding up a board to make a shelf. So they are out now, and will be filled by tomorrow. I figured out that the critters go through ~60 gal/day with our critters (not counting the 4 steers that are in the pasture closest to the stream). So I've got 5 days of water just about ready. Not filling it up all at once cuz I don't want to drain down the well, but they'll be ready by tomorrow. 

Thanks for your suggestions WIHH and Cyndi - I actually put them in the barn instead of out in the pastures - I was worried about the wind. 



MullersLaneFarm said:


> We didn't have a hand water pump there, but when we got this place in IL, I made sure that we dug a sandpoint with a hand pump in case we needed extra water for power outages.


This is the one thing that we didn't get done! We've been talking about it ever since we moved in, and it's one of those things that just got pushed off. Here's our springhouse, and there's even a platform with the hole in where there used to be one. So that's the next priority!


yarma by BooPK, on Flickr

There's a trough in the spring house where I keep gallon jars of my natural dyes. If we lose power for a number of days, we're going to put the frozen meat into plastic bags and put it in the trough. That will buy us a few more days. I've been canning some of the other meat from the freezer the last few days, so we should be in good shape there too. 



MullersLaneFarm said:


> I actually love power outages. It gives me a reason to put all this prepping to use!! LOL! We used to host non-electric weekends in dthe fall. The friends we invited over for it would call it our "little house" weekends. We never turned off the power to the house (because of the freezers) but taped over all the freezer, fridges, outlets & faucets. Food from the freezers would be taken out and put in cooler before the weekend started. Only light came from candles & lanterns, cooking was done on the wood stove or out on the camp fire. My kids never skipped a beat.
> 
> Families are supposed to have 'fire drills' routinely ... why not extend it to 'non-electrical drills'???


This is a great idea Cyndi! Yesterday I was thinking that this was going to be an adventure, but I have to admit, today I'm getting a little scared. We have a LOT of trees around us, with the wind they are predicting, that is going to change things. 

I'll start another post of the flood we had last year - it's what I'm expecting in the next few days...


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## PKBoo (Apr 10, 2008)

Last year we had 9 inches of rain in September.

Here's a 'before' pictures looking out from our front porch:

pond from front of barn by BooPK, on Flickr

This is out in the pasture, looking up towards the house. The shooting platform was ~7-8 feet high, and had a 3-ft high railing:

shooting platform by BooPK, on Flickr

This is what 9 inches of rain did... we think the water was 12 feet above it's normal level

guard rail close by BooPK, on Flickr

Looking upstream: (the water actually got higher than this, and covered the road in front of the springhouse)

looking up street by BooPK, on Flickr

We had over 3 ft of water in our basement cuz the sump pump just couldn't keep up with it. We opened the basement door, and had a stream flowing out of our basement for 2 days. We have nothing that can be ruined down there, and have it all picked up, so we're ready for that. 

So we're expecting all of this, and more, with the wind. Sandy is tracking to go directly over us on Tuesday/Wednesday. It's going to be a wild ride.

Ok - I'm rambling. Going to go fill more water buckets. I think keeping busy is better for a worried mind!


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## Woodpecker (Mar 8, 2007)

Thank you WIHH and Pigeon Lady for your concern. My brother works for the local Muncipality and will be out pumping, I pray God keeps us all safe. On another fiber note I cast on 40 for the pillow.


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## Shazza (Nov 20, 2004)

Hope everyone is safe....we saw footage on our news last night of flooding everywhere.

And.....I CANT STOP KNITTING SHAWLS LOL


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## Falls-Acre (May 13, 2009)

I was thinking about shawls and afghans tonight. We had a couple windows open because it was so hot over the week-end. Then tonight the temperature plummeted! So I'm sitting on the couch... freezing, and thinking about all the things I really ought to be making for myself instead of always working on things for other people! 

As usual, it'll be put off, but a nice thick afghan and a large warm shawl are on my "eventually" to-do list!! Gotta finish a sweater for my nekkid cat first!


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## Marchwind (May 10, 2002)

The new FAC is up. Please post there now. Here is the link http://www.homesteadingtoday.com/co...s/463094-fac-noverber-2012-a.html#post6234086


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