# What I got for my birthday



## Shygal (May 26, 2003)

Thanks everyone for the good wishes, they mean a lot to me, especially right now.
A couple days before my birthday I was asked to resign my position as clinical manager at the hospital. It seems that the group the hospital brought in to help raise our patient satisfaction scores, wants everyone to be a Goldie Hawn jump up and down and squeal cheerleader. The person met me and the others for 15 minutes , told me I did a wonderful job at what we happened to be doing right then, and then told my boss I didnt have the passion for the job. After 15 minutes of meeting someone, who has never seen me work. My boss told me I did nothing wrong, and do my job great, but she wants someone with "fire and spunk and passion".......um I think a lot of you have seen my fire and passion for stuff 

Anyway, i meet in the morning tomorrow to hear what they arent going to do for me. I have no idea what to do, there are no other jobs at the hospital, Im losing my insurance, I have 2 kids to support with no help from their dad, a house to lose. No unemployment if you resign, and your license gets marked and reviewed if you are fired. So I don't know what Im going to do. 

Thanks for letting me wallow


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## Melissa (Apr 15, 2002)

Hopefully they can keep you on as a regular nurse rather than clinical manager, especially since your immediate boss thinks you are doing a good job. Think positive and fight for yourself.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Big (((((((hugs)))))))))


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

Good luck, Shy. I think you"ll do fine. That is a tough position to be in, but all you can be is yourself, and I just bet you are very good at that.


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## Guest (Jul 18, 2012)

I had hoped you'd get some better news. I honestly am really sorry that you're in this position at this time. I know that you worked hard over the years to get to where you are now. I also know that cheerleading you won't help much. But I have a great deal of confidence that you'll be able to find your best path. Look how far you brought yourself over the last few years. You have what it takes to get through this, you know you do. You've come back from deeper holes before.


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## sherry in Maine (Nov 22, 2007)

I'm sorry that has happened to you.


sending a (((hug)))) and positive thoughts on another door opening for you .


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## Ramblin Wreck (Jun 10, 2005)

What Melissa said. This doesn't sound like a dismissal for cause either, so you should be eligible for unemployment. Fight for yourself and your family.


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## AngieM2 (May 10, 2002)

If there is still going to be a position for that job, and you do the job - don't resign - and if they fire you go to the state for discrimination, etc.

Those do not sound like grounds for losing your job.

Just some suggestions.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

can you negotiate a severance pay deal? At the very least it will keep you going.

Lets see how bubbly this little ______ is after she has worked for 10 years with sick and dieing people. I am sure her sparkly little bubbles will all burst when they crash into reality.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Maybe you can make a case for agism. Seriously, look into it.


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## seedsavergal (Jan 12, 2012)

Sorry :-(


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

Oh SHy, I am so so sorry, I wish there was some way I could help you. In Oregon there are a ton of paying jobs for nurses, I live in a town that is nothing but medical.


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

AngieM2 said:


> If there is still going to be a position for that job, and you do the job - don't resign - and if they fire you go to the state for discrimination, etc.
> 
> Those do not sound like grounds for losing your job.
> 
> Just some suggestions.


I second what Angie said, it is NOT grounds for losing your job and they are just being bullies. Put it back in their court,


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## GammyAnnie (Jun 2, 2011)

I am so sorry this is happening to you, stay strong and keep hope in your heart!

Annie


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Dang gal. Even im sorry to hear alla this bad news. Looks like theyre trying to treat you like a young kid. Put you tween a rock and a hard place with no options. BUT I agree with some here. Theres gotta be a wa to get something outa it. Your too tough to give up.


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

I agree with Angie.

They don't have any grounds for asking you to resign and I can't imagine you doing what they want just because they want it. 

Don't wallow, fight it!


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## AngieM2 (May 10, 2002)

Employment discrimination | LII / Legal Information Institute

The Age Discrimination in Employment Act (ADEA) prohibits employers from discriminating on the basis of age. The prohibited practices closely parallel those outlined in Title 7 and protects employees over the age of 40 from discrimination. The ADEA contains explicit guidelines for benefit, pension, and retirement plans. During the 2007-2008 term, the U.S. Supreme Court clarified the statute in three distinct areas. First, disparate impact claims filed under the ADEA now require proof of discriminatory motive behind the plan or scheme that has created the alleged disparate impact.* A disparate impact claim is a claim that an employer has created a plan or scheme that on its face seems neutral but in actuality discriminates on the basis of age*.

You know bubbly, is probably going to be younger..... just a thought.


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## Shygal (May 26, 2003)

Why would you want bubbly and perky on an end of life floor? But they are keeping my job and replacing me, there are no other nursing jobs available in the hospital at the moment, so we will see what happens. Im past wallowing, sort of, and going on to mad


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## Guest (Jul 18, 2012)

HUGS..I know the feeling of being let go from a long term job..I agree with the others by standing up for yourself..However, I also know if they really want you gone they will find away no matter what.

I wish only the best for you hun..


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## homefire2007 (Sep 21, 2007)

Shy, can you sign on per diem or work for a nurse staffing agency? Being good and efficient at your job doesn't sound like a fireable offense. Staffing agencies tend to put mileage on the car but bring in some income, as does Visiting Nurse or Home Health. You've worked hard to get to where you are now, hang in there!


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## AngieM2 (May 10, 2002)

Contract work? I know after I was let go I did contract work for a few month, could get healthcare, etc and if I didn't like the place assigned I could ask for somewhere else.


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## homefire2007 (Sep 21, 2007)

You can also investigate Elder Care councils they often have a sign up sheet for private duty. I'm an LNA and have often made pretty good money to supplement my regular job.


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## Vickie44 (Jul 27, 2010)

I'm sorry , not a good B'day gift .


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## acde (Jul 25, 2011)

Shy, 

Is it possible to get letters of some kind from the family members of the patients you cared for? I'm thinking these would be good to have, if the families are pleased with you maybe they'll think twice. 

((((((hugs))))))


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## Guest (Jul 18, 2012)

Shygal said:


> Why would you want bubbly and perky on an end of life floor? .....................................................


At the nearest hospital to here, in the CCU, the rooms at the very end of the hall are where they put people who, because of the severity of their health and comorbidity, just aren't likely to make it. Even in the Critical Care Unit itself, some nurses are assigned the end of the hall more often than pure randomness would account for. They are uniformly "not perky" It's ridiculous to be sitting in a room with a dying family member with some bouncy chatty cathy coming and going.


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## Sourdough (Dec 28, 2011)

Lost of Great hospitals in lovely Alaska.


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## Terri (May 10, 2002)

Those JERKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

What a lousy B-day present, Shy! I had hoped you'd have a great birthday. I'm so sorry you got this crappy news! (((hugs)))


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## Guest (Jul 18, 2012)

Gosh,, I forgot to say Happy Birthday.


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

Welcome to a rare club, Shy... the club of Being Terminated for No Good Reason. It happens. I'm sorry it happened to you -- but I can tell you, there is often a far better outcome waiting for you in the wings.

The one and only time I was fired from a job, it was part of the impetus for me to move on to very successful full-time self-employment and to the State of Oregon. I'm so glad to have done both things. It's unlikely I would have done either had I not been fired.

When it happened, I asked my then-boss (read "little-tin-pot-dictator-senior-lawyer-in-a-2-partner-law-firm") why I was being fired... was I not doing my job? No, he replied. You are great at your job. I just don't like you.

Me: Oh. Well, please let me say... the feeling is mutual.

The month before, they'd given me a $6,000.00 performance bonus. Go figure. No rhyme or reason. The short answer is, he was a jerk.

But the point is -- not to be cliche or anything -- it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. It gave me an opportunity to review what I was doing and decide if the path I was on was the right path for me. It wasn't, and drastic, positive action was taken.

Enjoy the best revenge: Grab this adversity by the throat and turn it into an advantage! Live well!! I know you will.


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## summerdaze (Jun 11, 2009)

Shy I'm sorry this happened to you, and I can imagine how you must feel. Leaving a long time job, no matter WHAT the circumstances are, can be overwhelming.
I worked 17 yrs for one place that went under. When I went looking for a job again, I discovered that EVERYTHING had changed! Even the way you LOOKED for a job had changed. 

Then more recently, there was a temp job that I kept going back to. I worked there 4 times, and the last time for 15 months. I didn't want to work there, but assignments were scarce, and I had to keep coming back. This wasn't just a bad boss situation. He did his job very well, but he LOVED having people under his thumb, and he hated women, so we got more of the ill treatment from this guy, but no one was immune. He told a bunch of us how he had beaten one of his wife's older dogs (when she was gone) so bad that "it whizzed blood for a week!" Anyway, conditions there were just awful! You could feel the oppression when you opened the door to his department!
After promising to hire me numerous times, and then hiring all his favorites instead, I got rather depressed. One of the guys he hired on was a 19 yr old kid that I helped train on some things.
I was very unhappy there, but had a lot of friends. He took a dislike to me at some point, and began to really make my life hell. Then one day I was let go, and it was over. I worried about how I was going to work around this place on my resume, how I was going to fill in the gaps, coz I had worked there so long. I was very down, depressed, tired, stressed, and fed up. I prayed A LOT.
Then I found my current job. I worked there as a temp for one yr b4 they hired me on. It's close to home, pleasant working conditions, the nicest bunch of people to work with, wonderful bosses, and I'm making the most money I've ever made! FIRING ME THAT DAY WAS THE B-B-B-E-E-E-S-S-S-T-T-T- THING THAT GUY COULD HAVE DONE FOR ME!!! He didn't know it, but it opened up a new and wonderful opportunity for me that happened at just the right time! I work for a very small company now, and open positions here RARELY come up.

I know first hand that's it's possible to not only survive after job loss, but to THRIVE. It's hard to lose the old familiar, but sometimes having things shaken up in our lives really isn't as bad as what we think it will be. Good luck to you, and I hope we'll be hearing some great stories from you soon!


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

I know you don't want to move but eastern NC and Northeast Ohio are probably 2 of the best places to find work in the healthcare field--at least from what I know. I'd say DC but you'd have to drive 40 miles to have a place for homesteading in that area; here or in NC there are places for farming near work. 

Before you pack your bags, fight to keep what you have where you are! Fight hard! My 1st cousin is a nurse; she lives in Parma. She's much older; she graduated from Hopkins ages ago. She was laid off a couple of years ago from an executive position so she took a vacation; came back a month later to a better job. Deep breath and start looking; nurses do the things the rest of us won't. Don't forget that.


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

I am so sorry....I think Angie has given you some good advice and a good link.


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## doodlemom (Apr 4, 2006)

Shygal I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you. Remember to stay strong and positive and not let stress run you down.


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## billooo2 (Nov 23, 2004)

Sorry to hear that you are going through this.


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## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

I didn't read everything here but I would say this...sounds like they are trying to manipulate you so they don't have to have you on their unemployment and are probably going to hire some younger person (who is apparently perky) and pay them less. Stick to your guns. 



Hang in there, woman!


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## willow_girl (Dec 7, 2002)

Don't let them railroad you into resigning! They're just trying to get out of paying unemployment.

So what if your license is reviewed? You haven't done anything wrong!


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## willow_girl (Dec 7, 2002)

I'm going to add that if you walk into that meeting with an attorney at your side, they might change their tune right quick.


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## Tommyice (Dec 5, 2010)

I would also ask them to go on record that they want someone "perkier". Make them put it in writing why they are asking you to resign.


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## Shygal (May 26, 2003)

thanks everyone. i had no chance, she had the director of nursing there with her, and my resignation letter all typed up for me to sign. effective today. all the friends i have are on that floor. im completely lost, they wouldnt let me even talk, i couldnt even say goodbye to my friends. she said she will never offer me a position there, she lied from the last meeting to today. i dont know what im going to do about my house and my kids, this is when being single sucks


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## Tommyice (Dec 5, 2010)

Did you sign that letter then and there Shy?


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

I dont understand?....why did you sign it? Did you sign it?


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## Smalltowngirl (Mar 28, 2010)

Did you at least put behind your signature- UNDER PROTEST?


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## homefire2007 (Sep 21, 2007)

This can't be just over not perky enough. Did they give you any information over any other issues? Was the ombudsman involved? So sorry this has happened. But when the going gets tough, I know you will keep going. Like so many of us here we have to pick up the pieces and make our next move. Consulting an attorney is usually free the first consultation, just to get an idea of what your rights are.


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## cindilu (Jan 27, 2008)

willow_girl said:


> I'm going to add that if you walk into that meeting with an attorney at your side, they might change their tune right quick.


Now that is the BEST advice and worth paying one even if it is just for the ONE hour.


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## frogmammy (Dec 8, 2004)

Shy, you are a competent, effective person who sees to the heart of everything you look upon. Yeah, this is a kick in the teeth, and scarey when you have others depending on you.

BUT...you're a survivor, you've had lots of practice surviving, and you can handle this, you know how to, you've done it before, you've fine tuned your skills and you are READY. When all is said and done, you will be ON TOP.

Start investigating the unusual nursing options available. There's something out there that is made for YOU...all you have to do is find it.

If I can be any help at all, let me know.

Mon


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

Shy, a lot of people are probably going to suggest you attempt to sue for wrongful employment, but it wonât go anywhere and may cost you a lot of money. Since most of us are employed âat-willâ these days, your employer really doesnât need to justify why they terminated you. However, age-ism is implied to an extent. The problem is, itâs very, very hard to prove in court â and access to the courts is expensive. Itâs also very limited these days. If at any time your employer had you sign an agreement to binding arbitration â common these days â then your access to the courts is severely curtailed. The deck is completely stacked in favor of employers now. I watched a lot of people bring wrongful termination lawsuits in my years as a judge's assistant. Most were unsuccessful and a lot poorer for their trouble. The only ones who prevailed were those who had employment agreements/contracts and/or were union-affiliated. That number was exactly two.

But here are some things you CAN do:

First, even though you signed a letter of resignation, you were made to sign it under duress. Make no mistake â they fired you. Apply for unemployment and tell them your story. Iâve known of several people who did this, were given an opportunity to explain what happened and they prevailed. That will at least give you some money coming in.

Second, contact the Department of Employment. They are the agency tasked with watchdogging employers who terminate protected classes of employees: Age, race, sexual orientation, etc. Tell them what happened to you. Emphasize your sense that it was over your age. They will probably not be able to get you your job back, but you may well stop this from happening to others. And the DOE may slap some pretty heavy fines on them for having done it to you.

I donâtâ know the ages of your children, but they will likely qualify for coverage under state Medicaid. Check to make sure. For yourself, spend a few dollars now for a catastrophic coverage policy that will cover you for the next 6 months. That will give you âcontinuation coverage,â so any and all preexisting conditions will remain covered. It will also give you some breathing room while you figure out what to do next.

I would also call my mortgage company and ask for some relief if you need it. But be careful here. Generally they will be far more inclined to work with you if you contact them before it becomes a problem. And if you are underwater, they are more likely still to work with you. However, if you have a ton of equity where they may profit more by foreclosing, then relief may not be offered. Sad to say, but itâs true.

Hope these suggestions are helpful to you. All the best.


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## CountryWannabe (May 31, 2004)

(((((HUGS))))) SG. I am so sorry this happened to you. 

Mary


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## Groene Pionier (Apr 23, 2009)

I am so sorry to hear this Shygal, sorry you have to deal with this! I hope you find your path again soon.


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## ldc (Oct 11, 2006)

Shy, you were forced/intimidated to resign. That is against the law. I would do as Raeven above suggested, and go to unemployment and tell them what happened. As R said above, this is often a successful strategy. I have done this myself, here in a "right-to-work" state. In my case, in one instance, the unemployment office staff were familiar with ALL the people my boss had wrongfully "fired"! If you have the energy/money/drive, go talk with an employment lawyer. A friend here just won a big suit against a national employer. It was ageism in her case, and she could prove it by the ages of her co-workers, and the people hired after her. They settled out of court. Whatever path you choose, I wish you peace of mind, ldc


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## starjj (May 2, 2005)

Sorry Shy I can relate to it.


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## HermitJohn (May 10, 2002)

Shygal said:


> Why would you want bubbly and perky on an end of life floor?


If I am still able, they put bubbly and perky near to me when I am dieing and I will whack it with my cane until it calms down.


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## CajunSunshine (Apr 24, 2007)

(((Shygal))) I am so sorry this happened to you. Rae's advice is spot on...please do take it.


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## rileyjo (Feb 14, 2005)

I'm so sorry, Shy. What a lousy thing to do to you. You didnt deserve that.

I work in social services for not-for-profit agencies. These agencies are always run by a Board of Directors. I've seen a new Board get elected and decide to establish themselves by making sweeping changes, even before they have a clue what the agency is all about.

I've watched this happen to other fine people who were good at their jobs. What kind of a reference are they willing to give you? 
Walk out of there with your head held high....you're a good nurse.


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## Shygal (May 26, 2003)

If I didn't sign it , they were going to terminate me, and if I was terminated then they have to report it to the state board of nursing and my license would be reviewed and possibly marked/taken. 
There was nothing to fight. 

They brought in a group to make the hospital "look better" in survey results and its having the opposite effect. Instead of a team, everyone is out for themselves now, the hospital is in a lot of trouble.

Thank you everyone for the support  Raeven, I will look into those things in the morning


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## gaucli (Nov 20, 2008)

I am so sorry to hear about you going thru this. I went thru something similar and came out better than I was before too. Did me a favor. It just doesn't sound like to me that they could fire you for "perky" when you surely have the experience. I think I would just ask a lawyer to see what he would say..wouldn't hurt. Best of luck to you..I really hope it works out good for you.


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## willow_girl (Dec 7, 2002)

Go apply for unemployment, STAT! Tell them what you told us ... that you were forced to resign as an alternative to being fired, which would have had implications for your license. You may get a sympathetic clerk ... it's worth a shot, anyway!

I am sorry this happened to you.


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## Shrek (May 1, 2002)

Shygal,

Sorry to hear that you got cut but it happens fairly frequently. especially now as healthcare facilities are leaning down or completely closing. 

From reading your side of the cut, it sounds like you may have found yourself in a perfect storm mix of a workplace leaning down , possibly being in that critical 40 to 58 year old range and rubbing someone in supervision the wrong way sometime.They used the opportunity to get you out of their world.

Since you say that you apparently saved your nursing license regardless of what legal action you decide to pursue after consulting with whatever lawyer you interview with, you still have some employment pursuit options available such as nursing homes, hospice programs. home health care and therapy, private care physicians , etc and the employment service in your area should be able to help in your search.

Just try to put your negative emotions for where you used to work aside while you check on your options, free consult with legal counsel about possible litigation and find out when you can begin collecting unemployment. Regardless if you are laid of, fired or resign if you worked long enough to collect unemployment , you can get it but they can probably make you wait four to six weeks unless you can prove to them that you resigned under duress.

Good luck on the next phase of your life. Evaluate your options and set your priorities and keep in mind your not the first person to be put out of a job in such a fashion.

Avoid posting much about it on internet message boards because regardless of what path you choose there is always the possibility of your data being mined and you did sometimes post while at work.


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## NewGround (Dec 19, 2010)

Have you checked employment opportunities in NC? This area is still growing, some major medical facilities here... 

Even got some guy 'round here with a big heart and lots of salsa to share...


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## debbiekatiesmom (Feb 24, 2009)

so sorry, shy. i work in a hospital, also. they have been doing some cutting and it seems it is always the long-term employees they let go. scares me as i have been there almost 11 years and am over 50. the younger newer employees can be hired for cheaper wages and less benefits than we have racked up. 

we now have an accountant over our department(xray) and over respiratory dept. he has maneuvered the numbers around to where it looks like we are not doing nearly as many exams now as we used to. i guess that gives him an excuse to make cuts. used to, we counted each exam we did on a patient -chest, head, arm would've counted 3. now because it is one patient it only counts as one! doesn't matter that it takes 3 times as long to do. and if they are in e.r. you might bring them down to the dept 3 times for different things and it still only counts as 1 encounter. wish i could do some exams on him-lol. they are also getting rid of shift differential and weekend differential for new hires. i get both and am grandfathered in. how long before he looks at that as a possible savings? it is getting so ridiculous sometimes i would welcome being let go. i'd sell out everything and move i think. maybe it would force me into change that i need. just shooting my mouth off tho for now. it would scare the carp out of me at first i am sure. i just keep thinking that my retirement and 403 are going to get swallowed up by this government somehow before i get a chance to do anything w it.

i do wish you luck and good health along your way. sometimes change can be good, but it can be scary, too, especially when you have kids depending on you. (((hugs)))


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