# Letting go clutter- Help!



## Jenn (Nov 9, 2004)

Any advice? I have bags full of gift wrap bags, wool, highlighters, shoes I may never wear again especially the ones I can't even find in my closet.... then I can divert my frustration by focusing on DH's couple dozen boxes of computer cables and parts he might just want some day.

I have graduated from saving all my milk cartons- they were tough to pick up and throw away last time we moved after partially breaking down outside and never having been needed (and when I finally needed some got some from neighbors), but still have lots of stuff I bought in case, and just hate to throw away good stuff. Freecycling some but any guidelines for letting go?

And what about pushing DH to do same, and should I even consider trying to do it for 'his' stuff without his guidance- maybe ditch all but one of his old keyboards but none of the stuff I can't recognize? (He's deployed for another 2-3 months and probably won't even notice some of it being gone.)


----------



## littlesheeps (Jan 1, 2010)

Jenn, last summer my aunt passed away and my sister and I had to clean out her house. She was a hoarder (_*NOT*_ saying you are... ) and it took me 4 trips to Houston to help with this. There was a path through the kitchen into the chair in the living room in front of the tv, a path into the bedroom & bathroom, a very short path into the garage just to the washing machine. Everything else was stuff piled on either side of the paths. The spare bedroom, which no one had seen in at least 15 years, was piled to about 2' of the ceiling. True, we found a few treasures buried in there, but you get the picture. Most all of it useless crap. Every time I got back home from these adventures, I had an overwhelming urge to throw things away and simplify my own life. So, I decided since I was in the process of relocating myself 200 miles away, if I hadn't seen it, worn it, used it, or eaten it in the past year, it was outta here and I'd never miss it. 

I stuck to my guns and made a huge dent in my own stuff and I feel my life is so much lighter mentally, emotionally, spiritually, etc. It is a huge personal deal to do this! And several thrift stores benefited from my resolution, too. Once I get settled in my new place, I will take a 2nd look over this next year and do it again. I've just retired and there are so many clothes & shoes that I'll never wear again. So, beware of the statement in the back of your mind, "I might use/wear this someday..." Trust me, you won't. 

OK, so now I need to go through all the "junque" that I brought back from my aunt's place!! Sigh. Good luck with your efforts. It's huge to let go, but it'll be a good and rewarding thing, I promise. littlesheeps in nm


----------



## manygoatsnmore (Feb 12, 2005)

I know how hard this is, as I struggle with it myself. One thing I've noticed is that I never miss what's gone after the fact. Give it to Goodwill and take the tax deduction! At least that way you can say you got some good out of it.

Now I need to take my own advice.


----------



## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

Jenn said:


> Any advice? I have bags full of gift wrap bags, wool, highlighters, shoes I may never wear again especially the ones I can't even find in my closet.... then I can divert my frustration by focusing on DH's couple dozen boxes of computer cables and parts he might just want some day.


Start in one place. Let's say, your closet. Only focus on your things.
Tear everything OUT of the closet, until it is EMPTY.
Wash the walls, clean the floor. Put on a fresh coat of paint if you can. Put in new light bulbs if needed. Repair anything that is in need (fixtures, shelving).
Then start putting back ONLY the things you have used in the last 3 months.
If you have the time, patience and location to have a yard sale, make a 'yard sale pile', make a 'free pile' and make a trash pile.
If you do not have time, patience or location to yard sale, make everything a 'good will' pile. (and a trash pile)
Label it with a HUGE label (like a cardboard box top).
Don't gripe and moan (not implying you will.....) when you are doing this, show your dh your sense of relief as you eliminate the unnessacary extras.
When you are finished with all of your things......and your side of the closet looks amazing, take the huge pile of stuff. Cram it in the car, and take it to good will........
Showing dh that it CAN be done, and the result of cleaning things out.....
May be the motivation for him, to do the same OR him permitting you to purge some of his excess.



> I have graduated from saving all my milk cartons- they were tough to pick up and throw away last time we moved after partially breaking down outside and never having been needed (and when I finally needed some got some from neighbors), but still have lots of stuff I bought in case, and just hate to throw away good stuff. Freecycling some but any guidelines for letting go?


For me personally when I started purging, my mindset was this:
When I die, I do not want to burden my children with the task of going through mountains of 'stuff' and wonder "is this important?, is this junk?"
Also, if the Lord tells me to 'pull up stakes and move' I don't want to have to wade through all the 'stuff' AND have the stress of a move on my mind.
Those two things have motivated me to purge of all the 'excess'. 



> And what about pushing DH to do same, and should I even consider trying to do it for 'his' stuff without his guidance- maybe ditch all but one of his old keyboards but none of the stuff I can't recognize? (He's deployed for another 2-3 months and probably won't even notice some of it being gone.)


I would not touch his things.
I would take care of everything that is 'yours' (clothes, crafts, etc) have it straight and organized, neat and orderly when he gets home. Let him know that out of respect for him, you didn't do his things, but you would gladly purge and clean with his permission.....That way he doesn't perceive you being snarky and pushy.

I can tell you, once I started purging, it felt like a HUGE weight lifted off my shoulders. Getting all the junk, extra, stuff out of the house.....
I good willed. I free cycled. I ebayed. I set things on my curb and put signs on them that said FREE.......I shredded 5, 30 gallon trash bags full of old documents......
It was so nice to walk into my bedroom and bedroom closet and be able to move. 
That was almost 7 months ago. And I have not added ONE THING to the spaces I clean out. It is, refreshing!!
Good Luck and keep us posted on your progress!!


----------



## springvalley (Jun 23, 2009)

I'm glad I read this thread... I'm hoping it's inspired me to go through my things.... again.
Keep watching the Barter Board as I'm going to list a bunch of stuff there, too!
-Catherine


----------



## Shrarvrs88 (May 8, 2010)

I have always (I mean ALWAYS) had problems with throwing stuff away. When I was a teen, I was living in a home for pregnant moms that no one wanted (lol, the "bad" foster kids) and it ended up being one of the greatest things in my life. Everyone mandatorily saw a therapist, and she sat for hours with me going through my junk. I cried and bawled, but eventually got over it, and now, while I still struggle at times, I am much "lighter" and can and do willingly purge. 

My advice is this. Love yourself. When you are going through your things, depending on what they are, you can have all kinds of emotions. You will tell yrself you should hold on to these, you might use this, you don't want to forget that, yadda yadda. One of two things work for this: You can either think it through and give yourself time to mourn, write down pluses and minuses for keeping, ponder your stuff. This really works for some people, and helps them see. For me, though, I drink a bunch of coffee, get the kids out of the way, and throw everything to the wolves. Really overpurge. What I don't want to throw out (or can't, my husband won't let me throw out his "valuable" electronic stuff, lol) I find a cool little hiding spot for. cntainers, ect. But it really is better just to throw it all out, in my opinion. Trust me, you will accumulate again, with out even trying...


----------



## moongirl (May 19, 2006)

I have just spent the last week getting 'back on track" after straying from my goals for a while. Put 5 empty storage containers and an empty laundry basket in the basement today. Doesn't sound like much but baby steps work best for me. 
I love this forum because it gets me so motivated. Our computer was "finicky" for the last few months so I have been missing in action so to speak. Cross your fingers for me.......I feel the energy seeping back! Yahoo!!


----------



## jmtinmi (Feb 25, 2009)

Something silly that helped me was to telephone my Mom and ask 'permission' to toss something out or give it away. I was heavy into grocery couponing and rebating for several years. I had cash register tapes numbered and itemized! I also had box tops and UPC symbols by the file drawer full. One day I telephoned my Mom and asked permission to toss it. She knew how much work I had put into my hobby and understood that I needed the little extra push of 'granted permission' to release me. It really helped!!


----------



## DW (May 10, 2002)

I like reading this b/c we are trying to help MIL clean out her house, eventually to sell. She's now thinking estate sale. We have taken quite a few things to ARC and sold some. Her daughter is coming next month to get a few things. Our problem is we can pitch but not MIL and we are trying to be considerate...not always working.


----------



## hengal (Mar 7, 2005)

I'm really glad I found this thread. I don't come in this forum very often but I needed to be in here today. This morning when I left for work I told DH, you know, God just doesn't want us to live this way. By saying us I meant "me". The bedroom and walk in closet is a disaster and has been for some time. I'm tired of searching for something to wear in the morning that I just know is hanging there somewhere. Whats more, is I told DH I think I'm being convicted about my mess. One of those things where I really think God is telling me "you can't go forward until you take care of what you have now". So - tonight - regardless of how tired I am - I'm going to make a start on the closet. I can't wait for that sigh of relief and that heavy mental burden off of me once everything is cleaned out and orderly.
Thanks for the encouragement you all provided!


----------



## fishhead (Jul 19, 2006)

DW said:


> I like reading this b/c we are trying to help MIL clean out her house, eventually to sell. She's now thinking estate sale. We have taken quite a few things to ARC and sold some. Her daughter is coming next month to get a few things. Our problem is we can pitch but not MIL and we are trying to be considerate...not always working.


Freecycle is a great way to get rid of stuff without taking it to the landfill.


----------



## hengal (Mar 7, 2005)

Ok I'm feeling good this morning. I have two garbage bags full of clothes out in my car to take to GW today.:bouncy: I can actually see whats hanging in my closet now. Tonight I'll be attacking the shelves in the closet. Baby steps!


----------



## Helena (May 10, 2002)

Boy..we must all be getting the same fever. I am on a binge myself. I can throw out things but hubby has a very hard time. The top of his dresser is a dusty mess that he refuses to allow anyone to touch. He surely hasn't in years !! We have junk for sure and I get very ruthless with my stuff. I have been cleaning for my city sister coming for her visit and after I pull together the kitchen and "piano" room I'm heading upstairs to the bedroom that we don't now use and can hardly walk through and start tossing out stuff. But..then "he" looks into every bag and pulls things out. I need to sneak stuff to the dump..I love not having stuff around now if I could only get husband to get this same "feeling"...Must be something from all of our childhoods..


----------



## Guest (Jul 23, 2010)

if you have trouble throwing things away. box them up, mark it only with the date. in six months if you havent used it, DONT OPEN IT, get rid of it.

when we moved 6 years ago lots of boxes when unpacked. they obviously are things i dont need. but if i open it, DH comes up with a reason we need to keep it and so there they sit. now when i clean i put everything of his in a bin, and label with it his name, then he gets to deal with it.


----------



## katy (Feb 15, 2010)

Thank you Jenn and others who have posted. Some of us (me) are pack-rats. Paper is probably my biggest problem. Perhaps in a day or so I can shed light on my demons, in preparation of letting them go... far far away............. lol I need to toss a bunch.


----------



## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

katy said:


> Thank you Jenn and others who have posted. Some of us (me) are pack-rats. Paper is probably my biggest problem. Perhaps in a day or so I can shed light on my demons, in preparation of letting them go... far far away............. lol I need to toss a bunch.


In my master bedroom closet, I shredded 5, 30 gallon green garbage bags of paper. 
I would put the paper in a pile, and then have my youngest send it through the shredder. 
I was stunned at how much paper I had saved.

We are working on the basement right now....I have made it a point in the last 6 months to be careful of what comes INTO the house.
As I purge, I don't want to add to the mess as fast as I get rid of the mess.
The idea is to eliminate, not replace!!


----------



## Osiris (Jun 9, 2010)

Neat thread. My problem is mental. I always fear that as soon as I throw something away, I'll need it - and it's usually the case. I've even taken to the mentality of having 2 in case the first one wears out or breaks...you know, extension cords, rakes, general tools. It's a guy thing I know but it's packrat-ism in it's early stages. 

The mind is changing though and it feels good to throw stuff away. 
Hey that's a good lamp!!! Yeah, but it's ugly and it doesn't work. Pitch!
General clutter on the workbench - nothing I've used for years. gather and sweep into the garbage.

I put a bunch of stuff out last week and to my surprise....I haven't needed any of it....yet!


It's a funny mindset, but once you get to pitching you find you focus on what's really important.


----------



## Karen (Apr 17, 2002)

I use to fear getting rid of things because I might need them, but when we had to downsize for health reasons from 4,000 sq. ft. to 1,600 sq. ft. reality set in and it wasn't easy! But honestly, I found it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought and I can't think of a single thing I got rid of that I have ever ended up 'having to have' or not being able to live without and I mean we got rid of TONS and TONS of stuff.

What we did is got rid of anything we haven't used in 12-18 months. We figured if we didn't use it in that time, we surely didn't need it _that_ bad. 

The hard part for us was getting rid of older things that had sentimental value. The more important things (or things that had been in the family) we gave to other family members who we knew would cherish them and kept only the things that would break our hearts to part with even if to family. The rest we had a yard sale and/or donated. It made us feel like everything ended up with a good home or was at least made use of or helped someone. It ended up being a good feeling and such a relief!


----------



## AngieM2 (May 10, 2002)

I've been thinking on this a lot lately. My Uncle died 6/23, and my cousins are having a time of it.

My biggest problem is, I have a hard time with time and being able to through out more than one large can at a time. And I can give stuff away much easier than throw something away. And I need to shread old papers, when it would be so much easier to just throw them away (but I'm afraid of identity theft and such).

Part of the problem is - I use to move a lot, so cleaned out then. Now I've been here 13 years and I need to at least pretend to move, to get this done.

I'll have to read here more, and get better motivated.

Thanks for the thread.

Angie


----------



## Karen (Apr 17, 2002)

Angie, I hear ya on the paper issue; boy can that stuff accumulate and shredding is soooo time consuming. Is there anyway you could just bag it up and take some place (friend in the country, campsite, etc.) to burn?


----------



## Kris in MI (May 30, 2002)

Karen said:


> Angie, I hear ya on the paper issue; boy can that stuff accumulate and shredding is soooo time consuming. Is there anyway you could just bag it up and take some place (friend in the country, campsite, etc.) to burn?


Do you know anyone with an outdoor woodburner? Not that too many people are heating their homes at the moment. . . But in the winter time, that is where all our paper goes that needs to be disposed of. Saves alot of time on shredding, I just put a bunch in when I stoke the fire.

In the summer it tends to accumulate more and when weather conditions are right (not windy, not too hot), I will make a fire in our firepit outside and feed the papers in until the stack is gone. It's easier in the winter, tho, you can throw whole catalogs into the woodburner and the long slow burn will make them disappear entirely vs having to tear them in to manageable chunks for the campfire to do the job.


----------



## manygoatsnmore (Feb 12, 2005)

If you have a garden plot, all that paper can be used for mulch or weed suppression. I used feed sacks and cardboard, but I also have a bunch of magazines and misc paper that I cleaned out after dd left, and I will be using that for weed suppression between the next raised beds I build. I cover it all with a thick layer of wood chips and it hides the paper nicely. It will break down eventually - the worms love it.

I have to be ruthless with myself, too - it is really hard to throw something away when I might need it someday. I prep for whatever the future might bring, so it's sometimes an internal argument whether something should be kept for the future or given away/pitched to make room for the present. I figure that if I can't enjoy my present, what is the point of saving for the future, and I tell myself that every time I am trying to clean out the clutter. And I REALLY, REALLY don't miss what I get rid of!!!


----------



## Karen (Apr 17, 2002)

Kris in MI said:


> Do you know anyone with an outdoor woodburner? Not that too many people are heating their homes at the moment. . . But in the winter time, that is where all our paper goes that needs to be disposed of. Saves alot of time on shredding, I just put a bunch in when I stoke the fire.
> 
> In the summer it tends to accumulate more and when weather conditions are right (not windy, not too hot), I will make a fire in our firepit outside and feed the papers in until the stack is gone. It's easier in the winter, tho, you can throw whole catalogs into the woodburner and the long slow burn will make them disappear entirely vs having to tear them in to manageable chunks for the campfire to do the job.


I was thinking along the lines of burning it outside, like in a burn barrel or fire ring. Everyone around here does that because we have no trash pickup in our very rural areas.


----------



## Navotifarm (Dec 16, 2009)

I have huge stacks of newspapers I was saving for garden beds but now that I am thinking of selling my home, everything has shifted 180. Degrees! I, too, have stacks of things with paths. They just kind of manifested and expanded. I wasn't paying attention but now I think of inviting someone into my home, I realize it's an owl's nest and totally off limits to anyone but my dogs. The thought put forth here of someone cleaning up after I die gave me the horrors! So I have to clean up. Is there a best place to start?? Bedroom? Kitchen? Office? I looked around this morning and have now retired to rest on my bed while I ponder this. What wonderful timing to find this thread!!
Oh and about the paper, I bought a galvanized trash barrel with holes bored in it at southern states for a burn barrel. It was under $20. I put the ashes in a corner of my chicken pen for my birds to take dust baths. They scratch it into their litter for my eventual compost. 
Do you start with one area till it's perfect or just gradually excavate down through your layers?


----------



## jwal10 (Jun 5, 2010)

I did one room at a time. Took everything out to the garage, everything. Then I would get what I needed, when I needed it. Only those things came back in. The rest is gone. Worked for me. There was so much stuff I hadn't used in years. When I moved to the cabin I had 3 boxes, that's all. We did the same for my wife, I carried it all out. I let her get the things from the garage herself. She had 4 boxes. We both said it was easy and no regrets. We couldn't believe there were that many clothes that we just would not miss. I save things but only if I throw a like item away ( older, worse shape, etc)....James


----------



## hengal (Mar 7, 2005)

Osiris said:


> Neat thread. My problem is mental. I always fear that as soon as I throw something away, I'll need it - and it's usually the case. I've even taken to the mentality of having 2 in case the first one wears out or breaks...you know, extension cords, rakes, general tools. It's a guy thing I know but it's packrat-ism in it's early stages.
> 
> The mind is changing though and it feels good to throw stuff away.
> Hey that's a good lamp!!! Yeah, but it's ugly and it doesn't work. Pitch!
> ...


Now THAT kind of stuff I definitely have trouble with! What I call future "trash to treasure" junk lol. Don't even ask me how many future "projects" I have waiting in the barn. Think I'll just focus on the bedroom for now.


----------



## chewie (Jun 9, 2008)

about 1.5 yrs ago we moved to our property. no house, just me in a small camper, kids and DH in a house several miles away. we moved our stuff to a larger camper and our barn. stayed this way for over 9 months, then started moving into our new home...

it was well over a year since we'd seen many of the things in the boxes, and i tossed alot of it. housekeeping is not easy for me but we aren't to the point of paths thru the house by any means. but i still kept so much stuff simply cuz its was 'our stuff'. it took that time away from it to realize its jsut stuff, its not me, who i am, not my family nor anything else that is irreplaceable. the stuff didn't make me happy either, it just was there. not anymore! i tossed tons of it--and some was DH's. if we hadn't been looking for something, or didn't have that OH, I FOUND IT! moment when seeing it in the box that we'd jsut opened, then out it went. lots of clothes went--we can only use so much and it added to the housekeeping trouble. if you only have 5 work jeans, then you don't have them laying all over! if you only have 8 dinner plates, you can only eat so many times without washing them! and its easier to put them away anyhow since you're not crowded--that in itself drives me nuts. i need breathing room.

and ya kow what? i miss NOTHING. what i may have used, well, it was all very cheap to replace and the feeling of freedom of JUNK was worth re-buying a very few, cheap items. i was so stocked up on shampoo, we'll not need any for a year! we just now bought toothpaste!! and again, the breathing room is invaluable. so maybe if you ahve trouble tossing, think of the goal, not the current "loss" you're dealing with. 

a very few things were on the edge--those things i boxed up, and if we don't need them by next spring, out they go. i did this with the utensil drawer in kitchen--all went into a box. as it was used, and washed, in the drawer it went. after a month, whatever was left in the box went to the dump. and ahhh, room to find what i did use now that it wasn't so jam-packed with junk i didn't use!! its such a grand feeling.


----------



## nancy237 (May 29, 2008)

This is long but I have had a breakthrough....

I am super excited about a new strategy (for me ) that seems to be working with all the junk I have accumulated.

I do fairly well in my house but the attic,garage & closets are packed with 
boxes of stuff I don't seem to know how to purge. I work on it all the time and 
then only have a tiny bit of stuff that really gets moved. I just keep rearranging stuff I need to get rid of.

So tonight I tackled a pile of stuff in my office that needed to be sorted 
(deciding what to throw away ,give away or keep)

Usually I try to select items that I can get rid off and assume the pile is to keep..
This time I had to just pull what I wanted to keep & the rest will be 
taken to Charity or thrown out..
Keep rules
1) stuff I actually use & would rebuy(tape,ect)
2) decor I will use now -if I won't put it up now I never will.
3) belongs to someone -need to return
4) get great pleasure looking at (parents watches, kids first shoes )

I can't tell you how fast I went through the pile ..before one thing that slowed me down was deciding what happened to each item, now
there is one decision...Is this something that I use, decorate with or really love.

example ..old out of date cameras...before it was hard to get rid of..now
it is a no brainer..don't use them & don't love them !! 

Also this makes it easier to throw out some of my parents things..I am not going to keep things that I don't love even if they belonged to mom & dad.
That will let me organize the items that I do cherish. I had old music tapes that were Dad's and this made me realize they are not really sentimental
or loved my me.. Some of their stuff is precious to me and other stuff is weighing me down.. or actually makes me sad..interesting..


----------



## GrayDay (Apr 6, 2010)

This may sound a little strange, but when I really want to get rid of stuff, I put the bathroom scale by the door to the garage. The kids and I weigh ourselves, then we each get a bag for trash and a bag for donating.

Everyone goes through their own things. 

When a bag is full, that person steps on the scale and we weigh the amount of stuff we're getting rid of. It immediately goes out into the trash, or the car to take to the donation center.

We see who can get rid of the most weight, and how much we get rid of as a family.

This is how we do our spring and fall cleaning, especially in the bedrooms. It really motivates the kids to toss because they get into the competition. It motivates me because I can't believe how much we're getting rid of in pounds.


----------



## DW (May 10, 2002)

Nancy, I like the "if you don't love it"... I still have some stuff f/my folks...needs to go and I'm working on it. I am going to remember that line for my MIL as we help her clean out. We have painted & now having new floors put in 3 rooms and I am not keeping all the stuff that was on the walls...I like the new clean look. I even bought boxes to help take down all the stuff...some of those boxes are going to ARC!


----------



## nancy237 (May 29, 2008)

DW
I like that line also..I think I saw that on a "clean sweep" type show..

I have all the art work that my kids did in preschool & grade school 
but only a few pieces for each that I love..

I once got rid of a bowling ball my Dad had fixed just for me with a 
larger than normal thumb hole ...I got rid of it because I don't bowl
but I should have asked the "do I love it "question.
I did love it and I am sorry I got rid of it.


----------



## jmtinmi (Feb 25, 2009)

fishhead said:


> Freecycle is a great way to get rid of stuff without taking it to the landfill.


Or having to move it yourself! We freecycled a treadmill and they hauled it up the stairs! Soon we will be freecycling a sofa sleeper that is bulky and heavy!


----------



## jmtinmi (Feb 25, 2009)

Kris in MI said:


> *Do you know anyone with an outdoor woodburner*? Not that too many people are heating their homes at the moment. . . But in the winter time, that is where all our paper goes that needs to be disposed of. Saves alot of time on shredding, I just put a bunch in when I stoke the fire.
> 
> In the summer it tends to accumulate more and when weather conditions are right (not windy, not too hot), I will make a fire in our firepit outside and feed the papers in until the stack is gone. It's easier in the winter, tho, you can throw whole catalogs into the woodburner and the long slow burn will make them disappear entirely vs having to tear them in to manageable chunks for the campfire to do the job.


FYI~~~I've heard that if you burn papers in your outdoor boiler, it can void the warranty.


----------



## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

AngieM2 said:


> I've been thinking on this a lot lately. My Uncle died 6/23, and my cousins are having a time of it.
> 
> My biggest problem is, I have a hard time with time and being able to through out more than one large can at a time. And I can give stuff away much easier than throw something away. * And I need to shread old papers, when it would be so much easier to just throw them away (but I'm afraid of identity theft and such).*
> 
> ...


You could have a 'shred' party, get a bunch of people over with shredders, put all the shredded paper in garbage bags......and use it in the chicken house!!


----------



## Texasdirtdigger (Jan 17, 2010)

Last year, a friend of mine, shredded 25 yrs (no kidding) of reciepts, Utility bill tops, canceled checks,junk mail, etc. 30 LARGE bags of shredded paper. It all went into my garden as mulch. Work great and was all returned to Mother Nature, by gardening season this year. Hubby & I always shed our paper and put it in the garden. Works Great and the worms love it.


----------



## Helena (May 10, 2002)

Just did and still doing...the very same thing..Went to the recycling center yesterday with 12 full large boxes of stuff. 30 years worth of magazines that I enjoyed but come on now..when will I really read all of them again... and after homesteading for those 30 years think I can figure out what a "weed' looks like. Dad's clothing (passed in May) went to the local handicapped thrift shop. Would love hubby to unload a lot of his stuff..but he did make some headway on his belongings tool. Haven't hit the attic yet...wish me luck. I'll need to tie a rope around my waist so I can find my way out when that happens. Does make you feel better doesn't it ?!!!:walk:


----------



## unregistered65598 (Oct 4, 2010)

I would love to de-clutter, my problem is when I do, it's full of stuff again 3 months later. So how do you keep yourself committed to keeping an area clean after you clean it?


----------



## DKWunlimited (Sep 11, 2006)

fishhead said:


> Freecycle is a great way to get rid of stuff without taking it to the landfill.


Craigslist is another option.. I was amazed how quick my kids got "on board" with clearing stuff out once we sat a jar on the counter and said.. okay, everything we sell goes in the jar and will be used for new camping equipment (fill in whatever your family has been wanting)

I've been pricing extreamly low just because I want items leaving quickly.. but kids counted the jar a week or two ago and it's over $400

We go room by room each week and then post everything on Friday.. usually whatever we post is gone by Monday and we start a new pile!

This weekend we are clearing out holiday decorations.


----------



## Our Little Farm (Apr 26, 2010)

I am ruthless. If it has not been used in a year, it goes. Apart from my food, toiletries and medicine and survival preps.

It is SO much easier to keep a place nice once you de-clutter. I have even thought about starting a business helping others de-clutter their homes.

You will be so much happier once it is done and everything has a home.


----------



## Our Little Farm (Apr 26, 2010)

DKWunlimited said:


> Craigslist is another option.. I was amazed how quick my kids got "on board" with clearing stuff out once we sat a jar on the counter and said.. okay, everything we sell goes in the jar and will be used for new camping equipment (fill in whatever your family has been wanting)
> 
> I've been pricing extreamly low just because I want items leaving quickly.. but kids counted the jar a week or two ago and it's over $400
> 
> ...


:clap:


----------



## Our Little Farm (Apr 26, 2010)

Merks said:


> I would love to de-clutter, my problem is when I do, it's full of stuff again 3 months later. So how do you keep yourself committed to keeping an area clean after you clean it?


What is cluttering up your areas? If that item had it's own space, place to be filed, stored or whatever, then after it has been used it can be put away.


----------



## Trixie (Aug 25, 2006)

It's hard - I am a hoarder, I guess.

After finally getting most of the grown children's things to them, we had a huge garage sale - sold tons of stuff, and gave away that much more. 

Truly I don't think I have felt any twinges - it was an uplifting feeling. I actually kept the thought in my head that I'm 69 years old, let it go.

Still am quite a 'hoarder' of sheets, towels, blankets, fruit jars, things that are really 'needful' and useful.


----------



## Our Little Farm (Apr 26, 2010)

Keeping things that will be used is one thing, keeping things just because is another. Blankets, sheets, towels can be used. 5 sets of china is a few sets too many! LOL

Glad it was uplifting!


----------



## Dirt2Dig (Jan 27, 2009)

I'm trying to de-clutter my house now. I try and bring at least one garbage bag full of "useful stuff" to the Rescue Mission (Thrifty Shopper) every week, usually more. I'm finding for every one garbage bag of "useful stuff" I'm throwing out 1-2 bags of garbage!

I work in one room at a time. Get rid of as much as I can and move on to the next room. I work full time. So I usually only do one room a week. I do not try and de-clutter everything all at once. My goal is to make it cleaner & neater right now. Once I'm through the first pass in the house, I'm going to start with the living room again (my starting point) and so on. DH and I are also doing some home improvements. So the incentive is there. If we can't clean out the junk, we can't do the home improvements. "Gee wouldn't be nice to have people over and not be apologizing for the house."

It's going to be a long process, but I'm trying. My Mom has moved from pack rat to hoarder. I don't want the same thing for me

So, I guess for others out there like me. Don't try and do it all at once. You'll be overwhelmed. Pick a room and start. Starting is the hardest part.

Be reasonable and rational with yourself. I kept a brand new purse that I bought off Ebay 7 years ago. It was ugly. You know what, it's still ugly and wasting space. So I got rid of it.

Make the goal at first ,to make it better, cleaner and or neater than it was before. Then work up to clean, neat and orderly.

Be diligent. Make a promise to yourself as to how much you're going to cleanout in a week. I try and have it done by Saturday since that's dump day. Then start again on Sunday.

Hope this helps.


----------



## AbbeyLehman (Jan 2, 2006)

I glanced through all the posts but have not seen this mentioned....Try FlyLady -- http://www.flylady.net -- she will help guide you through what can be a painful process. It is very freeing in the end, however. It has taken me more than 10 years, but I have finally gotten my home to the point that it doesn't take more than 30 minutes or so to have it ready for company. She is very gentle, but be prepared for a lot of email! :kung:


----------



## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

Merks said:


> I would love to de-clutter, my problem is when I do, it's full of stuff again 3 months later. So how do you keep yourself committed to keeping an area clean after you clean it?



Define clutter.

*MY* definition of clutter is, papers (junk mail, newpapers, magazines) of no value still laying around. Books I do not use or read. Decorations (holiday themed stuff that gets put out for a couple weeks then boxed up). Nick Nacks....(I hate nick nacks.) Unfinished projects (like the surround sound system that has been sitting in my living room for 3 weeks waiting for my dh to put it together. EVERYONE has been put on notice, it sits there one more week, and I will freecycle it.) Shoes. 

Clutter to me is stuff that is not in it's place, that has been allowed to stack up. It's also stuff that should have been thrown away a long time ago.(I open my mail, over the trashcan). Clutter to me is shelves and shelves on the wall full of nick nacks. Curio cabinets full of nick nacks. 50/11 different things hanging on the wall. Kitchen counters that you can't see because there are 50/11 appliances on them. Worse, dishes (dirty or clean).

When I 'de-cluttered' (based upon my definition) I gave it away, sold it, goodwilled it or threw it away. And I never replaced it with something else.
I have nothing on the walls (except way cool color), I have nothing on my end tables, a candle on my mantel. That's it. For me, it's a clean look, and it's peaceful.

As for the kids......and dh for that matter......they know that leaving stuff laying around is a good way to 'lose it'.
Moral of the story there is: put it away when you are finished with it, or it will be eliminated. 

Right now, my son is living in a house, of clutter (not his choice, can't change it....that's another story) and will live there until April. His deeper appreciation for a clean, clutterfree home is 100 fold what it was when I made him pick up after himself. He has actually thanked me for being so 'serious' about being clutter free.

When you clean a space, gaurd it. Make sure everyone else undestands how serious you are about keeping it clean. Be patient, but firm, until everyone is on board.

Stop shopping.
If you can exist without it...dont' buy it. Look at the price, then go home and put that money in a jar. Everytime you are tempted to buy...check the price, and put the cash, in the jar.
You will fall out when you see how FAST that jar fills up.
See, you will still be out the money.....but you won't have the clutter......then when you count the money, that will help you to be less and less tempted.....

HTH


----------



## GrannyCarol (Mar 23, 2005)

I find that it works well for me and my husband to get together to declutter a room. Then we can encourage one another and be on the same page - no recriminations at the end. If one of us really wants it, we keep it, but the "extra" stuff can just go. Decorating a room is a great motivator. I love painting, etc. but don't do it often. I just did our bathroom this summer and we took quite a lot of useless stuff out that move here with us over a decade ago. I mean, come on, we haven't used it for 15 years, I think we won't miss it! 

Next its our bedroom... it is owned by a lot of "stuff" (old picture frames neatly stacked on top of our closet, my hubby's old clothes, etc.). I'm a bit ahead of my husband, having realized a couple of years ago the old stuff owns me, I am not in control of it. I cleaned out our study and we had a yard sale. I realized that the paperback books I'd stored since I was in High School were never going to be read by me or my grown kids and I wasn't even interested in the subject any more! We sold and gave away about 45 small boxes of books! THAT was a great feeling. Most of them had been stored in the loft in the garage, but still... who needs them?

We have a junk pile out back that my husband has been saving things "we might be able to use", much of it is really awful garbage. I think next summer we will take that out, keep the few things that really are useful and plant some berry bushes and fruit trees. 

Another place we have a problem that I am not sure what to do about is our landscaping. We just don't have time and energy to keep up a large yard in our very hot summers, but we love it to be landscaped. I'm working on coming up with ways to keep the work down and still have flowers, trees (shade and fruit), etc. I'd love any good ideas... thinking of more hardscaping - putting in a large patio or deck would be great, but either expensive or a lot of work. 

I'm a lot better with general clutter than I used to be - every so often I just toss a bunch of magazines and catalogs, keeping only a very few favorites. We have a large house now that the kids moved out and a lot of storage with a lot of stuff in it!


----------



## Jenn (Nov 9, 2004)

Whew! Here it is 10 years later and when I searched for clutter found my own post! I have retired now and really plan to get serious again. Also I imagine moving north to be close to grandkids some day (only a granddog for now) and he imagines moving south to the coast closer to sailing; in either case we want/ will need to downsize to half this space. Aside from that I am really tired of not being able to find things (I retired partly due to less mentally sharp at work- I will see if more sleep and less stress improve that any).

Right now virus makes things tough. Thrift shop closed. Women's shelter won't take not new linens/ clothes/ mattresses. Used book shops closed up.

I have a pastor friend coming soon for some onion seeds (packets have 5 years worth and get too old in 6-12 months!) and I think she can- vouching for my handling of items- take some things to pass on. In addition to sheets/ towels* it is time to go through my kitchen. All those pots I have 2-4 of- in case the kids want the same sort of cookware I have. One kid already established, another- well, in a few years it'll be fun to get her new stuff if she needs any. 

I have been putting a few worn out novels (an author of whom I have multiple copies each title) in our roadside ditch as land fill to slow water in heavy rains as I do with cardboard and shredded paper. About to consider doing same for the cheaper romances I can't get any bites on from freecycle.

Husband not much changed. Got me a tupperware lid organizer which I feel is ANOTHER thing in the kitchen. However I may decide it's good, and it's a step in him deciding this is worthwhile and important (at least to his wife anyway).

*I feel we have way too many towels and should give any older ones away. He just bought MORE because he thinks we are short. He also bought pretty colored ones which are much smaller (but at least not thinner) that the bath sheets I keep him supplied with (and which he thinks he needs TWO for after a shower).


----------



## Jenn (Nov 9, 2004)

Had partner review all our towels with me. He rearranged (he's our organizer/ packer) the storage for them and let me release a few too small ones including one he just got (bonus with his order). I may have snuck in another one that was not all cotton and felt yucky. Now 3 nice matched sets for guests, my towels, his x many, and the usual extra wash cloths for cleaning.

Also he came outdoors and to the garage and there gave approval for several cubic feet toss/ give (doesn't fit trash this week though) AND huge breakthrough to part with the airplane seat and various instruments he had built into his game chair in the past- saying he'd remove all and give away, I piped up "someone might want the whole thing to work on themselves" (freecycle once covid calmer!!!) and moved on quickly.

No one may read this but me but it makes a good journal of clutter removal for me.


----------



## Alice In TX/MO (May 10, 2002)

I need to sort my workshop.


----------



## Rodeo's Bud (Apr 10, 2020)

I've decided to become a minimalist. Like was said, my stuff owns me.


----------



## Danaus29 (Sep 12, 2005)

Hubby is a paper keeper. I did a happy dance last month when he finally burned a recipe box full of cancelled checks from an account we closed ages ago.


----------



## alida (Feb 8, 2015)

[


Danaus29 said:


> Hubby is a paper keeper. I did a happy dance last month when he finally burned a recipe box full of cancelled checks from an account we closed ages ago.


I sometimes think that paper breeds overnight in my home! This last year, living in a 650 sq ft condo and working from home, has really helped me focus on the stuff I don't need and I've been moving things along at a fast clip. 
Now I keep my paper shredder front and center next to the box of "paper work to shred". Every evening I do some shredding - there's still a lot from two estates I dealt with along with my own paper. 
Family history paperwork has been mostly corralled into a photocopy box archive. There's still lots to do, hello 16 photo albums of family photos...


----------



## hiddensprings (Aug 6, 2009)

I actually clean out houses as a business. It has really opened my eyes to relooking at things I've saved forever. When parents pass and kids are stuck having to clean out a home, they become overwhelmed OR sadly, just don't care. I cleaned a house out last year where dad had passed. I had a terrible time throwing away family photos (the kids didn't want ANYTHING). It is sad to watch a life time of things get thrown in the trash. I do keep and sell what I can. I upcycle/recycle things and sell. For my own things, I took it a room at a time. Bedroom closet I do twice a year. When spring/summer gets here, I clean out my winter things. If I did not wear it this winter, it goes to a thrift store or goodwill. Keeps my closet neat and clean. In the kitchen, same thing. If I have not use an appliance or kitchen tool in a yr, it goes away. I do admit I have a hard time getting hubby to participate in my "organizational cleaning" but he does come along.


----------



## Jenn (Nov 9, 2004)

Due to busy schedule, and a death in family!, of pastor who was coming to get stuff (and seeds) I still have it all over a table and floor and garage and no word from her on firm date. Forget now I'm retired how full a week can be. Imagine having a job and a family AND being a pastor. Guess some of you here live that.

But the clutter waiting when I hoped it'd be gone a few days ago, and not clear on which she will take when she visits, is a bit demoralizing. Hope that feeling spurs me to get rid of more once it's gone.

Paperwork: I know IRS only goes back 7 years, but as a stockholder and IRA owner (and helping my kids with their taxes) I guess I need to keep records of the original price of those things until 7 years after I sell them. (probably same for things like houses or a prized and pricey vase or painting (gold bar?) one owns for decades and then sells). Oh well, "rich" people's first world problems I guess. When I was the finance officer for a few charities an accountant in the groups warned about ink fading- so I guess I should photocopy those statements which are as old as my marriage which I think I'll need til our joint deaths. Her main warning though was about heat printed receipts- they do INDEED fade in a year or two, so for the groups I photocopied the originals then stapled the originals to the photocopy for the files. Might be able to vaguely recognize a receipt IS from Walmart on the stated date and believe the photocopy was not photoshopped when audited !

Speaking of photocopying, had the kid home for Xmas photocopy Dad's mildewy army records he had kept in the garage (bad idea- it even was for his car which got mildewy when he was deployed) and shred the originals so I wouldn't cough my lungs out in the same room as them. Didn't do so with the old photos there so double enveloped them and gave them to him to review, sort, and then KEEP DOUBLE ENVELOPED.


----------



## Danaus29 (Sep 12, 2005)

Jenn said:


> Paperwork: I know IRS only goes back 7 years, but as a stockholder and IRA owner (and helping my kids with their taxes) I guess I need to keep records of the original price of those things until 7 years after I sell them.


According to the IRS, they can go back 7 years for a regular audit. BUT in the case of fraud they can and will go back as far as they can go. If you enter your numbers incorrectly they can claim it is fraud.

We once talked to a WWII vet who was drafted just after he turned 18, while he was still in high school. He got one check from the military that first year which went to his family and they deposited it for him. He forgot about getting that check and never filed income tax for that year. The IRS waited for several years after he retired before going after him for tax evasion. His warning was to NEVER EVER throw away income tax info. Not even after you retire.

I'm sorry your dad's paperwork and pictures got ruined.


----------

