# I could sure use y'all's prayers.



## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

I just brought my dad home from gallbladder surgery today. Long story short, he isn't doing real well. His dementia ramped way up during the week he was in hospital. He has a urinary catheter in and is not handling it well at all. He keeps trying to pull it out, and if you know anything about those things, they do not pull out easy. I thought he was asleep for the night, checked on him before going to bed myself, and he had gotten out of bed, yanked the bag and drain tube from the catheter, threw it all in the bathroom sink and went back to bed. He also has a drain for his gallbladder, which had burst, and the top was off the bulb that catches that discharge. The sheets were soaked with urine, bile and blood, same with the bathroom... I cleaned him all up, but this is a mess. He needs round the clock care. 

My only plan is to take him back to the hospital when the sun comes up. Home health nurses came by today and established a relationship, but they'll only be coming a couple of times a week. I'm way over my head. I'm going to, at least , need a CNA to come every day for 8 hours to give me a break. He needs a hospital bed too. ----! 

He has cancer, is in treatment and has been doing great. We were going to talk about another round of chemo, but now I'm thinking...it may be time for hospice. Sheesh, this all went down hill of a sudden. I've been hoping the dementia will get better, but now I'm doubting that...

So you see? I can use your prayers


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

I'm so sorry! You and your Dad have a lot to deal with. You have my prayers and best thoughts. The hospice people should be able to help with finding a hospital bed, and any other equipment needed - also respite for you. 

Prayers and Hugs,

Loretta


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## Echoesechos (Jan 22, 2010)

Hospice are angels on earth. So sorry for what you and dad are going through. HUGS


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## Twp.Tom (Dec 29, 2010)

I am sorry for what your Dad and you are going through Vicker. I Pray that You both are given strength to endure this sad time. My heart goes out to You Both.


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## CajunSunshine (Apr 24, 2007)

I am so, so sorry you and your Dad are going through this. If I lived closer, I would be there in a heartbeat to help...

((((Vicker)))) I am praying for you both. 



.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

Prayers for the both of you Vicker, for the strength to go through this, and to receive all the help you need. Anesthesia is notorious for causing a steep decline in dementia patients.


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## calliemoonbeam (Aug 7, 2007)

I'm so sorry you're going through this Vicker. As Laura said, the anesthesia, as well as any kind of infection, can cause dementia to get a lot worse, but it usually gets better once the problem has cleared up. However, with the cancer too, I just don't know.

I know you're between a rock and a seriously hard place right now. Talk to his case manager or to hospice directly. They can advise you and help you with all you need in the way of physical help. We'll be praying for your emotional support and for everything to go as well as can be expected. Hang in there, we're here for you. {{{hugs}}}


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## fordson major (Jul 12, 2003)

prayers Vicker,hope things turn around fast for you.


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

Prayers sent for you and yours. :grouphug:


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## foxfiredidit (Apr 15, 2003)

You got mine bud, hope things level out and improve from there. Hang tough.


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

you'll find you just can't do it all yourself Vicker. I have done this now 3 times and I was at the end of my rope the last time. I didn't have to deal with catheters though. if my husband had them I know he would have yanked them out also. 

all I had was the VON come in for an hour every morning( that was only because when they are dying at home it's required) they wanted to put in a catheter to save me the work of changing sheets so often.) in your fathers case he has to have it I guess. I did have them in diapers and I gave the injections, enemas the whole works. sometimes I wonder how I did it alone without burning out.i got the lend of a hospital bed from I believe it was the red cross. i'll be thinking of you Vicker. ~Georgia.


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

Asking Him to open doors for you to walk through with ease, for peace, and direction.
I am so sorry. My heart hurts for you.


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## BetsyK in Mich (May 14, 2002)

So sorry, this is so difficult, you will find the strength you need to give care and make the difficult decisions. Know my thoughts are with you, you are a good son.


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## tambo (Mar 28, 2003)

Hugs to you vicker. Prayers sent your way buddy. Hang in there.


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

Man vicker, I'm sorry to hear it. I know you've been trying to keep a positive outlook through all this. You're a good man for stepping up with your dad the way you have.
Wish there was more to offer than simply moral support. But, you certainly have all I can send your way of that. Hang tough. And, let yourself lean on the professionals a little.


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## Oxankle (Jun 20, 2003)

Talk to your doctor again. He may be able to send your dad to rehab for 14 days while the wounds heal. 

Our prayers go with you.
Ox


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## RubyRed (Sep 24, 2011)

Sending prayers and many thoughts and positive energies to you....keep us posted.


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## Tommyice (Dec 5, 2010)

Vicker you and your Dad will be in my thoughts and prayers.

I can't imagine what you are going through. Vent all you need to.


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## Ramblin Wreck (Jun 10, 2005)

You, your Dad, and your family will be in my prayers.


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## RideBarefoot (Jun 29, 2008)

Hugs and prayers to you and your father. Wish you the best outcome.


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## Guest (Jan 22, 2014)

Prayers..absolutely...

I agree with OX..Medicare will pick up the tab for "extended care" IF there has been a hospital stay ..do check with his physician.


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## rkintn (Dec 12, 2002)

Vicker, I am truly sorry to hear you and your dad are going through this. You've been given some great advice. Prayers for you both!


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## doingitmyself (Jul 30, 2013)

Been there, done that, now I'm doing a less serious version now. Vicker I know exactly what your day is like. My advise is don't second guess yourself. Don't try and do too much, If you think you need help make it happen now. Better to have too much help than not enough when you really need it. 

Prayers, good thoughts, and healing energies sent your way, take care of you, cause you are the key. I hope your Dad makes a speedy turnaround and things go well for both of you.


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## homefire2007 (Sep 21, 2007)

Prayers going up for you and your Dad, Vicker. Wish I lived closer, I'd give you a hand. I am a LNA/CNA, I do this for a living. Get all the help you can, remember to take care of yourself as well as your Dad.


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## arcticow (Oct 8, 2006)

Prayers sent, God bless y'all...


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## Terri (May 10, 2002)

Vickers: prayers said!

As you probably suspect, dementia is much worstened by severe illness or surgery. 

Also in the nursing home we could slow down the rate at which a confused patient could get at various tubings by dressing them in layers, tucking in their shirts, and so forth. 

The thing is, this is very hard for a single caregiver as the patient sometimes waks up in the night: at the nursing home where I worked it was not unusual to receive a person post-op so that the caregiver could sleep! Nursing homes have somebody awake 24/7 but a single caretaker must be able to rest!

On the good side, dementia eases up as the patient recovers.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

Thanks everyone. Really, thanks. I've got him up, bathed and dressed. He did it again during the night. His bed and bathroom look like someone butchered a chicken in there  I've got lots of laundry to do. First thing though , I'm calling his doctor. A thousand thanks.


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

My heart goes out to you and your Dad, Vicker. I was in your situation when my DH was dying of Cancer 11 years ago. As the sole caretaker, you absolutely need help and rest! God bless you and may He show you His Love and Compassion.


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

My thoughts are with you and your dad also. I'll echo Ox, please do check into the extended care. You won't be any good to your dad if you're burnt out. Hugs :grouphug:


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

U got it Vicker. Hope by the time the censor gets around to posting it, its still able to be of use lol.


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## sidepasser (May 10, 2002)

I hope you can find a solution that works for both you and your Dad. I know the intent is to do the total care by yourself, but unfortunately, that isn't possible with your Dad in his condition. Sending prayers for both of you.


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## SimplerTimez (Jan 20, 2008)

You are an honorable son my friend. Be well.

~ST


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## Fair Light (Oct 13, 2010)

Praying for you and your Dad...


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## Bret (Oct 3, 2003)

Good work tall rider. Get back in the saddle and keep on the trail for now. I agree that calling in help for your dad will make it better for him and we know that is what you want.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

He's doing much better today. Dr said to hang in there, as he should be getting better in the next day or two. Went to pharmacy and bought supplies; bed pads, depends, exam gloves, a sitz bath that fits in the toilet seat (this should really be handy)...etc. 
Have a social worker coming by in the next day or two to discuss options and resources. I might make it after all  

Thanks everyone.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

Yes, you will make it, Vicker. There are no other choices.
Know God's hand is lifting you up and we are hugging you in our hearts.


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## Fair Light (Oct 13, 2010)

Just hang in there... Remember to take advantage of all resources available to you...this is a huge undertaking and you will need to take care of yourself too...


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## littlejoe (Jan 17, 2007)

My heart goes out to you bud, as well as my prayers for the both of you. Cherish each moment you have, and how blessed you and he both are for being a part of each others life. 
We are all here as friends, and offer support in whatever ways we can. Take care of yourself as well, my friend. God Bless!


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

I'm glad things are improving again, and I'm very glad you're going to get the help you need. You've done more than most would ever even think of attempting without assistance. 

I hope you take comfort from knowing you've been the best son a parent could ever ask for. My best wishes and hopes to you for the best outcome possible, and hugs to you.


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## SimplerTimez (Jan 20, 2008)

I am glad that you are getting a respite - you've been through a lot lately. Hang in there my friend.

~ST


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## Jaclynne (May 14, 2002)

Caregiving is a difficult, draining job, even more so for family members. You will need help, and you will need to get away once in a while just to recharge. 
I'm glad today looks better and pray your tomorrow is even easier. You are blessed to be in a position to care for your father, and he is blessed to have you.


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## firestick (Oct 19, 2008)

Prayers sent, Vicker. I'll keep thinking of both you and your Dad.


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## CrossCreek Mom (Aug 21, 2007)

Good thoughts and prayers for strength for the long, difficult days and nights. Hoping the hardest stretch is short.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

He's hard headed and stubborn. I inherited that from him I guess. That and no ass. He's improving and things are slowly getting better. 

He is a tough old fellow and hates being in this shape, but has to accept it. That is hard. He is argumentative, uncooperative and abusive at times, but he doesn't mean it. I have someone giving me a break on Saturday, and am looking forward to that. 

Thanks you all.


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## CajunSunshine (Apr 24, 2007)

So glad you are getting a break, Vicker. Here's hoping you have fun recharging your batteries! Will you be able to get more breaks in the near future? It would be wonderful if you could get them on a fairly regular basis. 

I cannot imagine what you are going through, but I do know that you are one fine son, a rare breed.


.


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## CountryWannabe (May 31, 2004)

Hugs and prayers for you and your dad, Vicker. Be sure to take some time for yourself. You sound like such a giving person, but you need to keep up your own reserves, too.

Mary


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## trish4prez (Jul 9, 2006)

I'm glad to see things are somewhat better, but I'll continue to remember you in my prayers.


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## farmgal (Nov 12, 2005)

I've sent lots of prayers for you and dad. He sure is lucky to have you. I hope one of my sons takes care of me if need be someday.


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## RideBarefoot (Jun 29, 2008)

How are things going for your dad? Hopefully improving day by day and you get a bit of down time for yourself...


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## CajunSunshine (Apr 24, 2007)

vicker said:


> ...He's improving and things are slowly getting better.
> 
> He is a tough old fellow and hates being in this shape, but has to accept it. That is hard. He is argumentative, uncooperative and abusive at times, but he doesn't mean it. I have someone giving me a break on Saturday, and am looking forward to that....


How are things going, Vicker? Praying for smoother sailing for you and Dad.

.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

Slowly improving. His brain ain't where it should be. Catheter is gone, big help, and he is eating well. Physical therapy starts Monday and hoping his mind will come around.


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## mzgarden (Mar 16, 2012)

Sorry I saw this late. I prayed for you and your Dad as I read through the posts. Glad to hear there is positive progress and that you have someone that can give you a break now and then. Care giving for a loved one is very draining. Bless you for stepping up. Praying for continuing improvement.


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## skeeter (Mar 23, 2013)

Sorry I don't get here much but noticed your post and wanted you to know that I'm lifting up your dad, you, and your family... Blessings


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## sss3 (Jul 15, 2007)

Vicker, I've been where you are. The mental and physical drain of what you're doing really takes it's toll. My Sis and I took care of Mom. To this day, I feel good about caring for her. She had the best care we could give. Mom did the same for Dad. Good thoughts for you.


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