# The 'Good' side of single*



## Twp.Tom (Dec 29, 2010)

Since this is the Singletree forum, and many of us are single, Does anyone enjoy the positive side of being single? Not always, but sometimes, I really enjoy being alone/single, it brings a sense of peace and calm over me. I notice this especially, when I am alone, outdoors. Where do you find contentment, being single?


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## frogmammy (Dec 8, 2004)

No one to complain as I learn how to use my shepherd's whistle!
(I haven't asked the neighbors what THEY think about it!)

Mon


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## no really (Aug 7, 2013)

I do, quiet time, being able to come and go when I need to. Don't get me wrong I do have to kinda work that in around obligations to work, friends and family. But it is nice when that window of opportunity opens I can jump on it.


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

No one complains if my house is not kept up to par. No one complains that I spend way too much time at the goat barn, and way too much money at the feed store! (I don't like complainers.) I cook - or don't - whenever I want to and I eat whatever I want to, whenever I feel like it, sometimes even at 3 AM. Or I don't eat at all, if I don't feel like it. However, I do sort of long for a nice cuddle ever now and again. . . . . .


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## CountryWannabe (May 31, 2004)

My DH used to work out of town a lot, so much of my married life has been lived as if I were single. One of the good things is being able to suit myself about what I do when. While there has to be a certain amount of routine for the animals and garden, I didn't have to cook at specific times, I could eat what I wanted when I wanted it and I could even eat junk food off paper plates now and then if I wanted to (all of which is frowned upon by DH, LOL). I could sit till waaay into the wee hours to finish a whole book without worrying about disturbing someone elses beauty sleep, I could play the Rolling Stones or Queen loudly and dance while I did household chores (not a pretty sight) I could plant 15 varieties of tomatoes just because that is my fetish without anyone rolling their eyes, though having to can them all was my penance for that little bit of rebellion.

I love DH with a purple passion, but that doesn't stop me realizing that just *sometimes* being a free agent has its advantages.

Mary


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## summerdaze (Jun 11, 2009)

I have a friend that I used to go on a lot of road trips with, but I find that I really have a better time without him. I like to stop and check out things along the way to where ever I'm going if something catches my eye. He just wants to get to the destination. Actually, I have a female friend like this too. 

One time we were going through a small town that was having an outdoor flea market and auction in the center of town, and I really wanted to stop and wander around for an hour or so. He didn't want to. And several other times on road trips he will drive by something and say "that looks interesting", but never wants to stop and look around. 

I took my female friend to Amish land last year, and she can't stand to have music playing anywhere, even on low. So no music in the car. She was constantly moving my maps and directions, wasn't happy with the little motel I picked out, sent me chasing after an ice cream place that had gone out of business years ago, and wasn't happy with the first night's meal. (It was dark when we got there, and a lot of places had closed already) She constantly kept adjusting my air conditioning and other dials in my car, and moving my stuff. She stressed me out so bad, I couldn't WAIT to drop her back off at home!

So, I guess the times when I notice that I don't mind being single, or doing things alone, is when I want to get away for the weekend, or on a road trip for the day, etc. My focus isn't on just getting to the particular place, but also having the freedom to stop and enjoy things along the way, both to and from the destination.


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## oneraddad (Jul 20, 2010)

I'm different than most, I enjoy being a hermit and don't have room for a mate.


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## frogmammy (Dec 8, 2004)

Summerdaze, I know JUST what you mean!

Used to be just GREAT when DH and I would go on a trip...we were probably BOTH magpies in a former life!

We took a three week vacation once and someone asked where we were going and I said Michigan...and they asked WHERE in Michigan. DH and I said (together) somewhere. Week three would be at a fishing camp, but weeks one and two would be somewhere in Michigan...or on the way. Had a GREAT time!

Come to think of it, after DH died, my daughter and I took a 10 day trip to Michigan like that! Maybe it's genetic?

Mon


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

The peace and contentment seems deeper when Im outside. I notice nature more, without even realizeing it.


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## Hornacopia (Dec 15, 2012)

I've always been a person that needs a certain amount of time alone, and am perfectly content spending most of my time alone. I get all of the social interaction I need at school each day, and look forward to quiet weekends. Still, there is room in my life for a SO should that ever happen.

When I hear about the bad marriages and relationships some of my colleagues are going through, I appreciate how uncomplicated my single life is. I do what I want, when I want, and how I want. I make plans and change them with equal ease, without having to accommodate anybody else. Between work, home, and hobbies, my life is full. But, I think anybody that is single will admit that there is a little emptiness in single life no mater how busy and full our life is. For me, it would be perfect to find somebody else that is equally content with being single but that also wants the support of a life partner.

Single is in many ways the easy route as we get older, but I wonder if it will be lonely in retirement.

Horn


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

There is so much I enjoy about being single, I couldn't possibly name them all. Yes, enjoying spontaneous choices without obligation to another adult is wonderful! When I find the right person, he will add to this, not take it away.


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

i can keep nightcrawlers in the fridge ....lol


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

elkhound said:


> i can keep nightcrawlers in the fridge ....lol


It took me hours to figure this post out........Oh yeah, some people absolutely freak out over bait right next to the Chinese takeout! :yuck:

lol! Glad I don't have that problem anymore!


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## bajiay (Apr 8, 2008)

Other than not being told I can't do something...I haven't adjusted to being single yet. I don't particularly like it!


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

I've spent more time on earth being alone then married. After being married, I discovered that I preferred being alone much more. It could have been the person I was hitched to, but I doubt it.

I didn't get married at a young age, therefore I was more set in my ways and it made it harder to adjust to being a couple. He, on the other hand, had spent most of his adult life being married and didn't understand my need for space.

I've said many times that I like Shrek's set up and I think that would be an ideal situation for me. I don't think that there are many that agree with that philosophy though.

So, to answer the question, there's not much I don't like about being single. The only thing I really miss is the intimate connection that you can't get from casual relationships.


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## Oxankle (Jun 20, 2003)

The only things good about being single is that you don't have to wash dishes every day and you can bathe when you can't stand yourself. Not one other good thing about it and those are disgusting. I'd rather take a daily beating than live alone.

I need someone to pet, someone to pester, someone to love and cuddle and do as I'm told for. Way better than pet cats. 

The young men in days past who said "With all my worldly goods I do thee endow" knew what they were doing. The returns on such an investment are well worth the price.------ But you have to know how to keep a woman on the place. Some men just can't or won't do what is needed.


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## Guest (Mar 10, 2014)

Too many vampires when you're single. It's not good when you have a half dozen women coming by every week or so. Bad business. 

Best thing was pushing myself to the limit on everything. I can tell you that the day a couple years back when I worked outside all day in 106 degree weather would never happen now. She'd be bringing me ice water and tempting me to come in the air conditioning and stuff. Now, I don't eat too much, drink too much, top trees too much, and all that stuff. No longer pushing my limits, I'm learning how to grow old gracefully. Except for the other night, but that's another story....


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## bajiay (Apr 8, 2008)

I'm glad you're happy Zong! In more ways than one!


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## Guest (Mar 10, 2014)

I really liked living hard and on the edge. It was a heck of a rush. I felt completely in charge of my own reality. It's hard to explain, but it was good. Of course, I like the life 
I have now better, but that was the best part of being single.


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## foaly (Jan 14, 2008)

Finally being right about something.....that's the best!


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## Twp.Tom (Dec 29, 2010)

Oxankle said:


> The only things good about being single is that you don't have to wash dishes every day and you can bathe when you can't stand yourself. Not one other good thing about it and those are disgusting. I'd rather take a daily beating than live alone.
> 
> I need someone to pet, someone to pester, someone to love and cuddle and do as I'm told for. Way better than pet cats.
> 
> The young men in days past who said "With all my worldly goods I do thee endow" knew what they were doing. The returns on such an investment are well worth the price.------ But you have to know how to keep a woman on the place. Some men just can't or won't do what is needed.


This sounds like total malarkey! Some one to do as your told for? (I moved out of my parents house a long long time ago? Sound kitty whipped to me!, I've had the daily beatings, trust me, I'd rather be single thank You*


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## CajunSunshine (Apr 24, 2007)

elkhound said:


> i can keep nightcrawlers in the fridge ....lol


hahaha!!! Everyone who knows me, expects to find stuff like this--and worse (better?)--in my fridge, and I am still well loved, lol. Hmmm... I have not met anyone yet who objected. Birds of a feather...and all that. 

If anyone ever objects, I would be tempted to show them what's in my FREEZER! <insert evil maniacal laughter here>


.


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## bajiay (Apr 8, 2008)

I have bear brains in my freezer...


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## CajunSunshine (Apr 24, 2007)

Ok, in all seriousness...the good side?

I've had the best of both worlds: singledom and marital bliss. 

Being single taught me that waiting for someone else to make you happy is the best way to be sad. 

And, I learned to appreciate the value of Francois de la Rochefoucauld's words: _When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere._

I learned to be my own best friend and in the process, I was able to bring more joy to the "table", irregardless of whether I was alone or with someone.


.


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## CajunSunshine (Apr 24, 2007)

bajiay said:


> I have bear brains in my freezer...


Deer and hog brains, here... (I braintan my own leathers with them.)

Not gonna say what else is in there...not on a public forum, anyway. lololol.:run:


.


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

Quoted from Cajun Sunshine:

"Waiting for someone else to make you happy is the best way to be sad."

Best line I've read in YEARS!


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

How long did it take for you to 'adjust' to being single AND being content in singleness...

I have always believed that we 'complete' each other, and we were Designed to be with a mate to make that circle whole. 
So I am really struggling with the idea of being 'alone, incomplete'.


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## brewswain (Dec 31, 2006)

Laura Zone 5 said:


> How long did it take for you to 'adjust' to being single AND being content in singleness...
> 
> I have always believed that we 'complete' each other, and we were Designed to be with a mate to make that circle whole.
> So I am really struggling with the idea of being 'alone, incomplete'.


I too believe that we should have a mate. Adjust? For the first two years after she left, I put on my clothes every day and went to my job but I was walking dead. It took more than two years to begin to feel like I was still alive but she left 27 years ago and I still have not ever been 'content' with being single.
I think the worst part was finding out that she was having sex with other guys and shooting up crystal methamphetamines. Or rather the worst part is the idea that the next woman I meet may be just as bad.
How can you tell?


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

Well,,for me,,The best part of being single and alone is,,,,,The company !!

:icecream:


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

brewswain said:


> Or rather the worst part is the idea that the next woman I meet may be just as bad.
> *How can you tell*?


THAT is the 64 million dollar question!


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

Laura Zone 5 said:


> THAT is the 64 million dollar question!


You keep yourself single and unattached until you can answer that question about a particular person. 

Singlehood is a blessing as it gives you the time and space to find and love yourself. It's where you heal yourself, you grow, you adjust your bs filters, meters, jerk alerts, then learn to trust yourself within your boundaries.


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## whiterock (Mar 26, 2003)

How long did it take? The first night she was gone I got the best night's sleep I'd had in 30 years.


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## Guest (Mar 10, 2014)

bajiay said:


> I have bear brains in my freezer...


That reminds me, whatever happened to that guy that used to be here on ST from Montana? Bear something, or something bear was his username?


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## Fair Light (Oct 13, 2010)

Oxankle said:


> The only things good about being single is that you don't have to wash dishes every day and you can bathe when you can't stand yourself. Not one other good thing about it and those are disgusting. I'd rather take a daily beating than live alone.
> I need someone to pet, someone to pester, someone to love and cuddle and do as I'm told for. Way better than pet cats.
> 
> The young men in days past who said "With all my worldly goods I do thee endow" knew what they were doing. The returns on such an investment are well worth the price.------ But you have to know how to keep a woman on the place. Some men just can't or won't do what is needed.


Someone to pet, pester, to love and cuddle and do as your told??? Oh my!! that sounds really "smothering" to me...sounds like a man "underfoot"....I honestly could NOT handle this....I was in a sort of relationship with someone 3 hours away about a year ago.......and even that got annoying with his constant barrage of phone calls, messages and texts all the time...I used to think that I was ready for a relationship...but not only am I not ready...I just don't want one at all....I know some will say that it would be different with the right guy...but I don't think so...My brain is so far removed from the relationship concept.....All I want are friends...men I can go somewhere with or spend time with as long as it isn't too often and men that aren't so smothering....I am far from lonely...I have a really full life and I treasure my time alone...I will not compromise that again....


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## Guest (Mar 10, 2014)

For me, the good part about being single was the silence...the bad part about being single was ....the silence..


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

bostonlesley said:


> For me, the good part about being single was the silence...the bad part about being single was ....the silence..


I think that may be why so many stay in a 'bad' relationship....because their fear of deafening silence....


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

It's the fear of being alone with themselves. I'm comfortable with my own company, even if no one else is.


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## Oxankle (Jun 20, 2003)

Fair Light; You've obviously not read my contract, which calls for me to be out of sight at least 8 hours daily. 

Oh well, some people are just not cut out for wedded bliss. I've met people who told me their parents seldom touched one another. Can't expect such people to be cuddlers. To each his own.


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

If you never let anyone into your heart, you never have to worry about getting hurt.

I guess thatâs a fair trade for never feeling someoneâs arms snake around you in the night and pull you close, the soft touch of their nose against your skin because they canât get enough of how you smell. Who wants to have their sleep disturbed like that? And you donât have to bother with the annoyance of someone kissing you till your chin develops a wear spot from his beard that actually bleeds. I mean, ouch! No more stress with having to laugh at private jokes. And itâs easier to weed the garden your own way, without someoneâs pesky help. 

Canât say I miss holding hands in a crowd or while laying together in a hammock, stargazing and teaching each other the secrets of the heavens, or pushing a freshly roasted sticky marshmallow into someoneâs mouth and licking off the mess while laughing. No exchanging meaningful glances at dinner parties. Forget those irritating tickle fights. I donât really care if I have someone around to steady the ladder while I pressure-wash the canopy on the workshop or to tell me what the heck one of my tools is used for, or about the look in his eyes when he understands there is no one else on earth I love like I love him. I donât have to put up with raucous family holidays filled with kids and laughter. I donât have to put up a holiday tree if I donât want to, or kibitz about who has authority over the TV remote control, or care if he liked the meal I prepared. If I never give another foot or back massage again, it will be too soon. I donât have to spend time thinking about what he would want for a perfect gift to celebrate his special day. 

There is no obligation conferred on me to worry in the least about the joy, well being or quality of life for another person, or to risk one molecule of my heart.

Iâm telling you, being single is great. Donât think Iâd change a thing.


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## Jaclynne (May 14, 2002)

Sardines, crackers, sweet onion mustard, and rat cheese. That's my lunch/supper. One of the good things about being single is you can eat any odd combination you want, at any time of day, and call it a meal. Like triscuit crackers, cream cheese and sweet fire pickles, that works for breakfast.

I also like that when I just don't feel like talking, no one keeps asking what is wrong.

Actually, if you live alone for very long, you can get pretty spoilt.


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

Raeven said:


> I guess thatâs a fair trade for never feeling someoneâs arms snake around you in the night and pull you close, the soft touch of their nose against your skin because they canât get enough of how you smell. Who wants to have their sleep disturbed like that?


Not me! That's one of the things I didn't like about being married. When I go to sleep, I want to sleep. I get too hot and don't like someone snuggling up to me all night. I don't want to continually get woke up and keep scooting away until I'm run off the bed. I have a hard enough time sleeping without all that hassle.

I like having the bed to myself.

I do understand the sentiment you're putting forth though...


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

Raeven said:


> If you never let anyone into your heart, you never have to worry about getting hurt.
> 
> I guess thatâs a fair trade for never feeling someoneâs arms snake around you in the night and pull you close, the soft touch of their nose against your skin because they canât get enough of how you smell. Who wants to have their sleep disturbed like that? And you donât have to bother with the annoyance of someone kissing you till your chin develops a wear spot from his beard that actually bleeds. I mean, ouch! No more stress with having to laugh at private jokes. And itâs easier to weed the garden your own way, without someoneâs pesky help.
> 
> ...



listen closely....i dont like you....you made me cry.....but i will like you tomorrow after i get over my snotty nose and red eyes.......


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## Tommyice (Dec 5, 2010)

elkhound said:


> listen closely....i dont like you....you made me cry.....but i will like you tomorrow after i get over my snotty nose and red eyes.......












She'll do something real soon to make you laugh and you'll forget the tears. Now pass me that box of kleenex.


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## RubyRed (Sep 24, 2011)

The best part of being single is not having to walk on eggshells. Not living in a rollercoaster from day to day. Silence is mine and golden, not getting the cold shoulder and wondering what I did wrong. Wondering when the next time I would be valid and worthy to talk to. 

I have worth and am not property.


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

Tommyice said:


> She'll do something real soon to make you laugh and you'll forget the tears. Now pass me that box of kleenex.


yep....she will kennel me....and toss out the key...lol

but i am an escape artist....lol....next week we practice tunneling.


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

Raeven said:


> If you never let anyone into your heart, you never have to worry about getting hurt.
> 
> I guess thatâs a fair trade for never feeling someoneâs arms snake around you in the night and pull you close, the soft touch of their nose against your skin because they canât get enough of how you smell. Who wants to have their sleep disturbed like that? And you donât have to bother with the annoyance of someone kissing you till your chin develops a wear spot from his beard that actually bleeds. I mean, ouch! No more stress with having to laugh at private jokes. And itâs easier to weed the garden your own way, without someoneâs pesky help.
> 
> ...


*deep inhale*
And you are psychic too....
Amazing.

Rock, meet hard place.
Stay, and be mentally tortured, and always wonder if it's real.
or
Leave, and be alone.

I guess finding peace in the aloneness, yet being prepared to actually meet someone that is HALF of what you have described.......is better than the alternative!!

*deep exhale*


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## SimplerTimez (Jan 20, 2008)

Raeven said:


> If you never let anyone into your heart, you never have to worry about getting hurt.
> 
> I guess thatâs a fair trade for never feeling someoneâs arms snake around you in the night and pull you close, the soft touch of their nose against your skin because they canât get enough of how you smell. Who wants to have their sleep disturbed like that? And you donât have to bother with the annoyance of someone kissing you till your chin develops a wear spot from his beard that actually bleeds. I mean, ouch! No more stress with having to laugh at private jokes. And itâs easier to weed the garden your own way, without someoneâs pesky help.
> 
> ...


View attachment 24713​
Beautifully written my friend.


And to have all of that, and to be able to give such in return once again, entails risk and acceptance of others as they are. That's one thing that I see long time singles avoiding regularly - risk. Yes, we get hurt (and we live); we get rejected (and we live); we give in honesty and get back...whatever (and we live). But I'll take the pleasure/pain balance any day rather than a few more years of safety.

The good part of being single? Every new person I meet might the one that changes that, if I give them a chance, and they me. 

~ST


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## bajiay (Apr 8, 2008)

zong-well who's do you think I meant?!?! HAHA!!! (JK)


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## bajiay (Apr 8, 2008)

yea, all of what you mushy people said AND I HATE BEING ALONE!!

I figured it out...it's not that I need a man to define me, I know who I am and for the most part, I am happy with myself. It's just that I am a lover and a giver, and not being able to give that to anyone feels like I can't be ME!


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

What is it you love to give lol


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## bajiay (Apr 8, 2008)

Besides the obvious SMARTALEC, I like being a wife, best friend, partner, cook...whatever!


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

LOL lol


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Raeven, I just finished listening to a Lesley Gore Album. Hadnt done that in 30yrs or more. Brought back all the bad ole HS days when I was alone, but could see guys and girls going together, OK it was just the seniors of my freshman year, as none of my class or those below me ever went to gether that was visable. 

Reading your perfect post brought to me, that im alone again, but at least, I seldom see young people together, that you could tell that they were in love, and people around bout my age, I know of hardly any that act like there still in love.
SO, I guess im saying, being alone now is way better than it was then. Ive had the experience of getting what I wanted in those days in 3s, and found I didn't want it. Found that I had threw something away that I thought was unimportant at the time, but found later that it was priceless, and that was my freedom. I realize now, that I cant have it both ways, Only jay and a few others have lucked out that way. Between the married life I had, and the alone and silent life I have now, Ill take now any day. 
I don't HAVE to step out on faith, I don't HAVE to get knocked down just so I can dust myself off and do it again. I don't have to wonder why it didn't work again, this time, or whats the matter with me, and what I should have done different, and what can I learn form the experience.
I just went back and read yours again. What I wouldn't give to have all of what you talk about again. But the chances of getting it, are way too late, and way too slim, and I know what I WONT give up for the chance to find Ive got the ability to find 4 bad ones in a row. BUT, thanks for the sweet rememberances.


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

FarmboyBill said:


> Raeven, I just finished listening to a Lesley Gore Album. Hadnt done that in 30yrs or more. Brought back all the bad ole HS days when I was alone, but could see guys and girls going together, OK it was just the seniors of my freshman year, as none of my class or those below me ever went to gether that was visable.
> 
> Reading your perfect post brought to me, that im alone again, but at least, I seldom see young people together, that you could tell that they were in love, and people around bout my age, I know of hardly any that act like there still in love.
> SO, I guess im saying, being alone now is way better than it was then. Ive had the experience of getting what I wanted in those days in 3s, and found I didn't want it. Found that I had threw something away that I thought was unimportant at the time, but found later that it was priceless, and that was my freedom. I realize now, that I cant have it both ways, Only jay and a few others have lucked out that way. Between the married life I had, and the alone and silent life I have now, Ill take now any day.
> ...


FBB needs to type like this more often......you get 3 gold stars for that post.

you almost made me cry....i tip my hat to you sir.


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

Well, Bill, you old so-and-so, I guess we can agree that's about the nicest thing you ever said to me, and I'm in danger of actually appreciating you for it.  I always knew there was a big ol' soft heart in there somewhere. I do prefer this Bill. Thank you for your kind words.

When my Stephen died, one of the emotions I felt most strongly was anger. It was irrational and stupid, and I knew that -- but still, he'd left me alone at age 50, which is a lousy time to start over. And I knew I had a lengthy period of mourning ahead of me, and you can't rush that. So here I am at 57 and my chances of finding something extraordinary again are pretty scarce, and I know this. Lightning almost never strikes twice.

At our age, I think relationships can come in many different incarnations. We're whole, fully-formed people with fully-formed lives and complications, and relationships between mature people have to make allowances for that. I can't ask someone to give up his life, and I don't think I'd be ready to give up mine right away. It's pretty good. But it can work, if everyone is on board and is willing to work toward the actual goal of having a loving, giving relationship. And why WOULD anyone disturb their comfortable solo world for anything less?

Flexibility, patience and mutual respect are the keys. Jay and his girl have something that works great for them. zong and his wife have found true bliss in an entirely different way. BostonLesley and arcticow are a living example of what's possible. My best wishes to all who find their way in whatever incarnation they find it. I promise you, in every instance listed, there were many compromises made for happiness to find a way.

I guess what I'm saying to you is, you're not past the time of love unless you choose to be. No one ever is. The package is likely to be something less than what's in your frequent imaginings, but you know what they say... it all feels the same in the dark.  

Be kind in your expectations, patient with the object of your affections, flexible in understanding your needs and theirs... and who knows? You may yet have more than sweet remembrances.

Not me, though. I'm staying single, for all the reasons I said.

Thank you again for sharing your touching thoughts. (Oh, and thanks for spelling 'but' with only one 't.')


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## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

I might be falling in love with you Rae


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

Hey, WhyNot... maybe I'll rethink that staying single thing.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

After they let me out of ST con not so fine munt, I wized up, and try to fly like a arrow. Not so much fun, but nothing else was anyway


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Guess ill play U Don't Own Me again and go to bed. nital


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## Fair Light (Oct 13, 2010)

Oxankle said:


> Fair Light; You've obviously not read my contract, which calls for me to be out of sight at least 8 hours daily.
> 
> Oh well, some people are just not cut out for wedded bliss. I've met people who told me their parents seldom touched one another. Can't expect such people to be cuddlers. To each his own.


Oh... Ok... I didn't know about the contract and the 8 hr thing...
I guess that would make a difference....I think I've just become set in my ways in my old age.... I remember being young and wanting a man in my life... But it's just different now... I don't think I have that anymore... I love my silence ... I love the days that I have to myself..,, I feel complete and whole...


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## Guest (Mar 11, 2014)

You can only be free when you stop trying to own freedom.


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## Twp.Tom (Dec 29, 2010)

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGa70tVYVKo[/ame] But Zong, I am Free!


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## Oxankle (Jun 20, 2003)

Wow! After reading some of these posts I think this should be called the "permanently Single" or the "Given up on life" forum.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

U mean call it, the (unhitched single tree)?


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## Twp.Tom (Dec 29, 2010)

Oxankle said:


> Wow! After reading some of these posts I think this should be called the "permanently Single" or the "Given up on life" forum.


I don't believe any one wants to 'give up on life", and if someone wants to be permanently single-to each his own-You don't HAVE to be Married, or live with a Significant other, to find Peace, and Happiness. I am very impressed with most of the responses here. After reading this Thread, I can see who wants to be single, or married, and who NEEDS, to be single or married. Not everyone thinks the same-this is not cookie cutter here*. I want to be free, and run. You can run with me, I'll even wait up if necessary. But don't try to slow me down. or stop me?, and I have never done as I was TOLD*, lol I am non-compliant. If you don't think that there is a good side to being single-find a mate, and hold on tight, otherwise, you probably will be miserable. Show me some one who finds nothing Good, about being single, and I will show you a Co- Dependent Person*


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

Twp.Tom said:


> Show me some one who finds nothing Good, about being single, and I will show you a Co- Dependent Person*


Or, someone who deeply, truly, whole heartedly believes God when He says: It is not good for man to be alone -and- He Created woman to be man's helpmate.....


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## bajiay (Apr 8, 2008)

Amen Sister!!!


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## oneraddad (Jul 20, 2010)

Maybe some of you could ask your God friend to help you find some company ?


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## bajiay (Apr 8, 2008)

Have been, thank you!


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## Fair Light (Oct 13, 2010)

Twp.Tom said:


> I don't believe any one wants to 'give up on life", and if someone wants to be permanently single-to each his own-You don't HAVE to be Married, or live with a Significant other, to find Peace, and Happiness. I am very impressed with most of the responses here. After reading this Thread, I can see who wants to be single, or married, and who NEEDS, to be single or married. Not everyone thinks the same-this is not cookie cutter here*. I want to be free, and run. You can run with me, I'll even wait up if necessary. But don't try to slow me down. or stop me?, and I have never done as I was TOLD*, lol I am non-compliant. If you don't think that there is a good side to being single-find a mate, and hold on tight, otherwise, you probably will be miserable. Show me some one who finds nothing Good, about being single, and I will show you a Co- Dependent Person*


AMEN...AMEN...AMEN !!!! I'm so happy for those that find that perfect mate...that's great!!! But it's just not for me....and a few others here....there is nothing wrong with us that don't need or want a life partner...we are actually happy people and we feel complete and whole by ourselves....


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## brewswain (Dec 31, 2006)

Twp.Tom said:


> If you don't think that there is a good side to being single-find a mate,*


This is a pathetic statement. If we could find a mate, we wouldnt be on here


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## bajiay (Apr 8, 2008)

everyone has their own perspective...

If I dated another guy or two that treated me like exs have...I think I would give up too.
But I'm shopping in a different store this time!


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

Oxankle said:


> Wow! After reading some of these posts I think this should be called the "permanently Single" or the "Given up on life" forum.


Will I be permanently single? Who knows? I definitely know that I haven't given up on life though!

Thankfully, relationships come in many different forms and some don't have to follow the traditional route to find contentment and happiness.


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## oneraddad (Jul 20, 2010)

brewswain said:


> This is a pathetic statement. If we could find a mate, we wouldnt be on here



When I first started posting here, I was told this was a place where singles talked about Homesteading single, not a hook up joint. 

When did things change ?


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

Feel free to be the change you want to see. Or do you want your money back? I'm afraid they stopped giving out written guarantees of satisfaction some time ago.


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

you can talk about anything here(within the limits) some people have found SO like Lesley and John and a few more. some don't work out others do. that's life. 

I'm happy and contented the way I am. like my own company. lots of work to keep me busy. if I want to go out for a night or have someone in for a meal there's men I can call. I'm not ruling anything out though yet. ~Georgia.


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## oneraddad (Jul 20, 2010)

I don't want change, I'm just trying to understand


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## Ardie/WI (May 10, 2002)

brewswain said:


> This is a pathetic statement. If we could find a mate, we wouldnt be on here


Hey, I'm married and I come here a lot! This group are a refreshing change in pace from the rest of HT!


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

Well, it's too wet to till, too cold to plant, too soon to slaughter. No big projects planned for me at the moment, unless people want pics of my pressure-washing tasks. Pasture grass is growing, I'm not shooting at anything right now. People are posting pics of spring flowers and big heaps of snow. I guess I can take a pic of the branches I moved to the burn pile yesterday...

One aspect of being a single homesteader for some is, they'd prefer to not be doing it solo. So do these threads discussing how that condition might be ameliorated really surprise you that much, oneraddad? Why not just ignore them, if they're not to your liking? You've made it clear you're not looking, and that's cool -- several here are not. But it's ok that others are... isn't it?


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## oneraddad (Jul 20, 2010)

I was PMed by a Mod a few months ago and told to check my local Craigslist if I was looking to date.


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

Obviously I don't know anything about the predicate event for that, and I'm sure it's already occurred to you to contact that Mod and ask about it, if the communication puzzled you. I'm do know it's not something that will be clarified by general grousing in a thread.

Maybe you see something different, but I see people discussing an aspect of homesteading single -- which is that they are single. There are good and bad facets of that. But I don't see any hook-up solicitations here. Did I miss something good?


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## Groene Pionier (Apr 23, 2009)

LOL LOL LOL that is how I got here too, some time ago. Not sure if things changed, but there will always be ppl who try to find a partner. I am also more interested in finding out, learning about others experiences how to homestead on your own. Or be as self-sufficient as can be, on your own. 



oneraddad said:


> When I first started posting here, I was told this was a place where singles talked about Homesteading single, not a hook up joint.
> 
> When did things change ?


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

all that stuff is here also. on the homesteading singles thread. but if that's the only thing we talked about it would bore some people out of their schulls .me included. variety is the spice of life. ~Georgia.


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

I love homesteading stuff as much as anyone and try to contribute whenever I'm doing something like that. But truthfully? There are only so many pictures of tomato seedlings I can withstand.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Dad, I was pm ed by a mod a couple months ago and told I wouldn't be posting anything until it had been looked and verified that it would pass the Chicka Mongrel sewing circle and whinning assn. Id say you got off lucky.


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## Twp.Tom (Dec 29, 2010)

brewswain said:


> This is a pathetic statement. If we could find a mate, we wouldnt be on here


Brewswain, maybe if you could turn into Batman*, you could find a mate, maybe Batwoman?


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

That's a bunca bat, rapa


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## oneraddad (Jul 20, 2010)

FarmboyBill said:


> That's a bunca bat, rapa



I use that to grow my medical marijuana that helps me fight my disease


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

just so you don't start hanging by your toe nails while smoking it and find you like your steaks RARE lol


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## oneraddad (Jul 20, 2010)

FarmboyBill said:


> just so you don't start hanging by your toe nails while smoking it and find you like your steaks RARE lol



Steaks ? Your addiction is food, huh ?


Every time you over eat, you're just flushing money down the toilet.


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