# Please help! Don't know what is wrong!



## barnyardfun (Mar 26, 2005)

Okay let me give you a little history. My DD is 7 and we have always homeschooled. Last year was kindergarten and it did not go well! We were trying to learn our alphabet and recognizing all the letters. She could NOT name the letters. So I started making the flash cards into a game. We could spread them all out on the floor, in no order, and I would ask her to find whatever letter. She could do it EVERYTIME with no hesitation!:banana02: After several games of this we would try to do it the flash card way again and for her to tell me the name of the letter.....she COULD NOT do it!:grit: So needless to say for Mommy's sanity we just took last year real easy and just played learning games and such. On to this year.....we are using Christian Light Education. She loves the stories and the way it weaves God into everything. We are a little behind on work do to moving and such. We have been practicing real hard on reading. She loves stories and wants so bad to read. Now we have ran into this problem. She really hesitates in reading and can sound a word out like pig 20 times before she gets it in her head what the word is. So reading is really slow. BUT....when she has a lesson, for example yesterdays, it had pictures of people doing stuff and under that had different words listed that she is supposed to know how to read and match to the picture that the word describes. She quickly accomplished 6 of these pictures. When I sat down with her to show me her work she could not read the words to me. She struggled terribly over every word. I asked her how she got all the problems right if she couldn't read the words and she said that she can read them in her head she just can't get them to come out!! AAAHHHHH! I don't know how to help her! This seems to be similar to the problems she had with her alphabet. 

Please help if you can. I don't know what to do. I really want to help my baby girl because I can tell it is SO discouraging to her! 

I hope I explained this all well enough for you to understand, if not I am sorry. My nerves are a little fried right now!


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## Cheryl in SD (Apr 22, 2005)

I would say it hasn't clicked yet. As hard as this is going to sound, she may not be ready to read yet and there may be nothing you can do. If I were you, (& after five children I was you), I would say, get really easy readers, let her memorize them, use Dr. Seuss, take some time off & start again next fall. She WILL read but the neuro-pathyways may not be completely developed yet so she CAN read. It sounds like they are developing but need a little more time.


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## Tracy Rimmer (May 9, 2002)

I agree with Cheryl, she's probably just not fully ready. HOWEVER, there is a learning disability called dyspraxia, which you might want to research. DO NOT diagnose your child! If you feel that this MIGHT be a concern, get in touch with a learning disabilities professional and have her assessed.


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## barnyardfun (Mar 26, 2005)

I forgot to mention that she does great at spelling test. Very rarely will she misspell a word! These are the same words she is supposed to be reading!:grit:


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## BusyBees2 (Dec 10, 2004)

I'd suggest not making a big deal out of it. My 7 yo DD is finishing 2nd grade work this year and has just begun to make forward progress with her reading. It will come when she's ready for it. Just continue to read to her and if she recognizes words, praise her! 

You might also work word families with her...without pressure if she doesn't 'get it'. -at, cat, bat, fat, etc.

But try not to let your frustrations show. That will lower her self esteem if she's not making Mommy happy.


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## barnyardfun (Mar 26, 2005)

Rose, I spent the big money on the LeapPad system. Bought several different books for it. I even bought the different reading levels that teach her letter by letter. She doesn't like them. Well, I assume she doesn't like them because she will only use it for about 5 minutes before she loses interest. 

Now may be the time to tell that she has ADHD. She used to be REALLY bad and I knew that effected her learning ability. We put her on meds for a few months (when mommy finally broke down and was going to have a nervous break down!) and things got a little better as far as her attention span and such but still had the same reading problems. She has now been off meds for a little over a month (mommy did more research and had a change of heart) and while she is not as 'calm' as when she was on the meds she is certainly not as bad as before! Thank you Lord! We are trying to control it with diet and lots and lots of exercise.

Since she does have ADHD (not just diagnosed from doc, I have done LOTS of research and her daddy has it too) we do learning a little different. Since her 'home' is outdoors I often let her sit outside to read/do work. I try not to pressure her to read to me although it is necessary. I often let her take the word list/story outside for awhile and 'practice' it before I ask her to read it to me. 

URGH! I am just at a complete loss! I want so bad to help her. I feel bad for her because you can tell it's "just right there" and she can't get it!:Bawling:


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## p1gg1e (Aug 20, 2008)

Id focus on what she can do and not what she cant. Can she read a book to her self and tell what its about? Those sorts of things.

She sounds like she is doing well in some areas and work with what she can do and how she learns. The great thing about homeschooling is you can be far ahead in some things and behind in others...but work at your child's pace.

Hugs!


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## Danaus29 (Sep 12, 2005)

How well does she do in math? This may sound like a stupid question but truthfully there is a connection. People who do very well in math are usually a bit slower in language and reading. People who do well in language and reading are usually a bit slower in math. There are people who excell in both and there are people who are lousy at both but being good in one and so-so in the other is the norm. If she does wonderful in math I wouldn't worry a whole lot about the reading, just keep working on it without putting too much pressure on her. Focus on what she can do and work on the parts that give her trouble.


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## Cheryl in SD (Apr 22, 2005)

Danaus29 said:


> How well does she do in math? This may sound like a stupid question but truthfully there is a connection. People who do very well in math are usually a bit slower in language and reading. People who do well in language and reading are usually a bit slower in math. There are people who excell in both and there are people who are lousy at both but being good in one and so-so in the other is the norm. If she does wonderful in math I wouldn't worry a whole lot about the reading, just keep working on it without putting too much pressure on her. Focus on what she can do and work on the parts that give her trouble.



This is good to know. I would say it is correct also. I have two dds that are great at reading and language skills, but lousy at math. Then there are the two who struggle with LA & reading and got 100% (not percentile, percent, they aced the test!) in math. In 2nd grade my ds did all the math problems in his head before I finished reading the questions and scored in 10th grade. In LA, he scored just barely at grade level.


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## cindy-e (Feb 14, 2008)

I know people want kids to be reading doctoral dissertations by 2nd grade these days, but she may just be a late bloomer with nothing more wrong with her than she needs more time. 

Now, understand, I am a dyed in the wool, hard core, classical educator with a very strong belief in formal academics, *AND* I have kids with learning disabilities. So you would think that I would be the first one to get all up in arms that a 7 year old isn't reading well. But I had a son who was a late bloomer too. He reads several years above grade level now.  Might be too soon to worry? Just keep working with her and don't panic just yet. 

However, if you are truly worried, try this test. Cover the pictures in the book. Then ask her not to read the story to you, but to read it in her head, and then retell the story in her own words to you when she is done. Based on the fact that she can do her worksheets correctly, it is possible that she really is comprehending the story, (and therefore she is reading), she just can't connect the words in her head with reading out loud- sound. That is a possibility with certain learning difficulties. Have you tried that? Might give you some better information about what you are dealing with.

Cindyc.


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## Teri (Jan 13, 2003)

My 10 year old son did not read til he was almost 9, though I struggled and agonized over it from the time he was 6 (my other kids read at the "normal" age of 5/6). BTW, this kid IS fairly good at math; first one in our family of 9.
The readers from Starfall are well done and inexpensive.


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## Karen (Apr 17, 2002)

It _could_ be a learning disability, but for some children, it's just that it isn't interesting enough to them to put the effort in to learn their alphabet or to read. They view it has something the 'have' to learn, rather than something that will expand their world. 

They just can't make the connection yet. Some children even get so they rebel and almost get determined they are not going to learn them unless they want to.

This happened with our youngest children. The odd thing is that you just never know what will make it all click. What I did for him was that I located the largest Barnes and Nobel I could find within driving distance of us, that had a huge children's section. I took him through all the different categories of children's books and we talked about all the interesting stories and things he would learn about that he was interested in. Then we sat down with a book. I opened it and showed him a page of words. We talked about the only thing that stood between him and being able to be transported to other times, places, and interesting things are those words. 

I told him that when he was a baby he couldn't speak in words. But little by little he learned words and look how what a difference that made! Reading is the same thing. You learn little by little and, before you know it, you're a reader! That did it for him; he was reading within a week! Who knew! 

Well, that's what worked for us anyway (we were also using Teach Your Child To Read In 100 Easy Lessons -- which I highly recommend as a no tears, no frustration approach!). Every child is different and it's just trial and error finding their 'key'. Don't give up; don't get frustrated. Some things children will struggle and struggle with and other things they will breeze through that will startle you. Hang in there!

BTW, here's a link to Teach Your Child To Read In 100 Easy Lessons where you can view a sample: http://www.christianbook.com/Christ...=teach your child to read in 100 easy lessons


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## ozarkcat (Sep 8, 2004)

I'm certainly no expert, and like you, am at the start of our family's homeschooling journey, but it sounds like she's doing better at things that are active (tactile) learning rather than watching (visual) learning - I'm dealing with the same thing with my 4-year-old with identifying numbers right now. We've started by working with the numbers several ways - coloring numbers to paste in order on a sheet (and the number symbol has birds, in the correct amount - i.e., 1 has one bird in it), using the sheet as a guide to try to write the numbers, counting the numbers on an abacus, etc. She really seems to get the concept much better than when you just ask her to count aloud, at which point she regularly comes up with 12895  Don't get frustrated, just try approaching it from a different angle.


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## p1gg1e (Aug 20, 2008)

ozarkcat said:


> She really seems to get the concept much better than when you just ask her to count aloud, at which point she regularly comes up with 12895  Don't get frustrated, just try approaching it from a different angle.


My 4 year old counts the SAME way..its normal LOL then she counts to 5 fine if its in a song. Shes just not ready.. though makes me wonder when my friends kid is doing math at 5..she was pushed though and has *huge* aggression issues so you loose some


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## ginnie5 (Jul 15, 2003)

I would say she's just not ready also. We graduate our 2nd this year so have been at it quite awhile now. Dd that graduates this year did not read well till 6th grade......she read but it was a struggle. I remember very well the day her 6th grade books came in.....I sat and cried thinking I had failed her because there was no way she could reads those books. Not only did she read them she did great! 7th grade she did Beautiful feet...which is a lot of reading. Our ds is 7yo and is just starting to read. He has some speech issues and to be honest we've worked more on correct pronunciation than on reading. All kids learn at different rates and when they are finally ready for something its like you can almost see it click with them. So don't panic....the more worried about this you are the more she senses it. I've also had one who read to herself really well but not out loud to me. We just took it slow and had her read more to me..or her brothers. It helped a lot.


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## saremca (Jun 19, 2008)

Danaus29 said:


> How well does she do in math? This may sound like a stupid question but truthfully there is a connection. People who do very well in math are usually a bit slower in language and reading.


This is good advice. My son didn't learn to read well until a few months ago and he just turned 11, but he's been a whiz at math since he was 4 or 5.




> Focus on what she can do and work on the parts that give her trouble.


This too.


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## halfpint (Jan 24, 2005)

Of my four children, I've had two that were very late readers. One just wasn't ready yet, and when it clicked he began reading quickly. The other seemed to me to be different, and had many of the same problems that your daughter has. I had her tested, and have had someone work with her to get her started reading, and I was told by both the person who tested her and the person who worked with her that it probably would have never 'just clicked' with her. When looking for someone to test her, you'll want to make sure that they are homeschool friendly as there are a few that feel that homeschooling is the issue. Your local homeschool leaders should be able to give you tips on who to get locally to test her. For my other son, I never had him tested for reading problems, but he was going through speech therapy and his therapist told me not to worry about it that he would get it eventually, and since he was delayed in speech he would be delayed in reading.

I have several friends who have their children tested by Dr. Paul Cates occasionally. After testing, he will recommend what curricula and programs to use with your child based on their learning styles, issues and needs. I have never used him but have several friends who go to him for testing in Tennessee. You can find his information on this website:
http://www.faithchristianmin.org/

Dawn


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## ELOCN (Jun 13, 2004)

Prayers that your daughter can learn, and prayers that you are able to teach her.


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## jmtinmi (Feb 25, 2009)

Abeka has a really good reading curriculum that stresses the phonics. 'Special sounds' (_ph_, _kn_,_ y_ in fly, etc) have clue words that are illustrated on large cards with colorful pictures. These help the child to figure out how individual words will sound. I guess I didn't realize how many 'special sounds and rules there were until I had to teach my son. If your daughter is reading too much past the short vowel/one syllable words, she might be getting confused by all rules that are out there. Abeka reading curriculum is very systematic and I highly recommend it. I hope this helps


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## dezeeuwgoats (Jan 12, 2006)

My now thirteen year old son had similiar issues that really tormented me for awhile.

He couldn't visually recognize the first five letters of the alphabet when I pulled him out of school - with months of progress reports saying he was doing just fine! But what he was doing was memorizing (very complicated intricate methods of remembering answers) the answers around the room. (learning aids, posters, alphabet, in the classroom). It really, really took a toll on his self esteem because he knew other kids just 'got' it. 

That did the most damage. Once I had other homeschool moms to ask advice from - everyone told me about what everyone has told you here. That developementally he just wasn't ready. I kept focusing on what he could do, what he was interested in. He learned multiplication tables jumping on the trampoline....(tactile, kinesthetic learning)

Reading/language arts were like pulling teeth. I can't tell you how many times we 'set' things aside for six months, pulled them out, only to put them away again. One summer, we got rid of satellite tv and a month later I was walking down the hallway. I walked passed his doorway and he was on his bed READING of his own volition, for enjoyment! 

One of the happiest days of my life - I knew we had turned a corner. I had never seen him do that before. Sure enough - from that point on he learned in leaps and bounds. They eventually catch up to where they are supposed to be, when it is developmental. He was nine when I 'caught' him reading.


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## AR Transplant (Mar 20, 2004)

If you can get your hands on the book Better Late than Early by the Moores (Ray and Dorothy) I read it years ago when I had problems with my dd.

This book gave me the best understanding as to why some kids are late learners. It made for a happier family for sure.

A quick look at amazon shows that they have it and several used.


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## chamoisee (May 15, 2005)

She sounds a lot like my second son. I struggled for over two years to teach him to read, with no progress. Finally I put him in public school, and they started him at kindergarten even though he should have been in 2nd grade for his age group. He kept struggling but started learning...slowly...and kept struggling until last fall. He was on the verge of failing 6th grade so I took him in to the doctor, because there is a family history of autism. He has ADD. He isn't hyperactive, he just can't focus long enough to remember anything that was just said to him. After putting him on meds, he went from almost failing (Ds and Fs) to getting As and only one B! Not only that, but he doesn't get frustrated like he used to, he is a happier kid. 

I would be the first to agree that meds are often misused, but they can be such a blessing in the right time and place. My son is still 2 years behind after losing so much ground, and very self concious about it. His self esteem has suffered as well. I wish I'd found out what the problem was earlier, but all those years, I thought the poor kid was "lazy" and "not really trying", etc. The guilt is awful, because he is a nice boy, and now that he's on the meds, it's obvious that his problems didn't stem from laziness or character flaws. I so wish I could go back and redo his early childhood years. :Bawling:


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