# What are your must haves....



## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

when seeking a potental mate?

My number one is:

Humor, I have a quirky one, so they must get that and appreciate the charm of it.


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## NickieL (Jun 15, 2007)

Must like critters, nature, environment.


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## biggkidd (Aug 16, 2012)

Someone who is willing to WORK for what they want. 

Larry


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Kind, helpful, forgiving.


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

Breathing ound:





...but seriously, I don't really know how to put it in words..of course the usual ....humor, honesty, trustworthy, monogamous ....but that inner spark...the knowing that life is more than themselves.....that sense of awe and wonder and gratitude....someone who gets the connectedness... and it wouldn't hurt if he had facial hair and loved dogs and rivers....


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

Years ago I created the following standards:

College Degree
Owns his own home
Makes more money than me.
Good-looking with facial hair.

I suppose at the time I created the list I was looking for a partner and not another non-productive, non-provider like my first husband.
I felt that a man needs to bring similar benefits, accomplishments to the table.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

roadless said:


> Breathing ound:


I just spewed tea on my keyboard....LOL!!!


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## susieneddy (Sep 2, 2011)

we must be able to make each other laugh, become friends, have things in common, like to try all types of food and activities, have respect to each other even when you disagree and to me the most important thing is to like each other. You have to like before you can love


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

shanzone2001 said:


> Years ago I created the following standards:
> 
> College Degree
> Owns his own home
> ...


At one time I felt the same as you. And I got exactly what I wanted and realized money and things do not buy happiness, just things. And setting myself free from keeping up with the neighbors, has made me a million times happier, but it does buy alot of beer.....LOL


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

Yep been there done that with all the bells and whistles.....I really don't care about such things anymore. It is not what ya have but who you are.....


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

roadless said:


> Yep been there done that with all the bells and whistles.....I really don't care about such things anymore.* It is not what ya have but who you are.*....


This is very wise words :thumb: IMO


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

We MUST, first of all, *like* each other and RESPECT each other. Need reciprocity there.


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## catspjamas (Jul 14, 2013)

Must like cats. Not "tolerate" or "cats are ok". But like cats, and be ok with them in the house.

I also like being able to have a good, intelligent conversation.

And a nonsmoker.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Well, that seems to be a problem too, you like them. They dont. They like you. You dont. It can be a crazy merry go round. Finding mutual likes.


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

roadless said:


> Yep been there done that with all the bells and whistles.....I really don't care about such things anymore. It is not what ya have but who you are.....


True, but I learned the first time around that love didn't pay the rent. Getting a job and being a productive person does.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

My list at 53 is quite different than the one I had at 25. It's a Do Over for everything including priorities.

I think the list I made 3 years ago started with 22 qualities running from deeply important to totally superficial. Over a few days I pondered and whittled it down to 5.

Country local who is kind, happy and owns his own space.

It works well for me. I have these men around me and I like it. Most of the other desired qualities are bundled within, and always good stuff I never imagined. 

I've adventured outside these parameters and didn't find them positive experiences.


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## wyld thang (Nov 16, 2005)

Um...

Laughs
Loves lots of you know
Loves to eat
Dances with wolves
Facial hair


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

I've notice my priorities have been whittled down too, If Im happy, everything else just seems to fit.


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

We would have to be friends first. Not just good friends. And certainly not infatuated acquaintances. But friends that would sacrifice something of _themselves_ before they would ever cross each other. Friends that would love each other enough to bite their tongue and listen to the other's gripes, even when they knew they were wrong. Or, know them well enough to know when they needed a swift kick back into reality. Maybe it's too tall an order IDK. 

I heard a saying once that went something like, 'Never apply for a job that would require you to buy a new wardrobe.' I know this isn't about work. But it's a metaphor. Work with me here, OK? 

A lot of people will go into a relationship with unconscious prejudices that color their feelings in ways they might not even realize. Blue collar vs. white collar background, religion, race,...etc. The process that allows acquaintances to become friends, then friends to become true, best friends, naturally weeds out any unconscious prejudice. When the way is clear, it also permits friends like that to reveal any deeper feelings without feeling so self-conscious. At worst, you still have a genuine friend. At best, you have someone who knows you well enough to finish your


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

shanzone2001 said:


> True, but I learned the first time around that love didn't pay the rent. Getting a job and being a productive person does.



True...responsibility counts!


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## doingitmyself (Jul 30, 2013)

Am i the only guy to reply yet? That's odd, anyway, for me she must have,

A kind heart
A sense of humour
A sense of adventure
At least a clue in the kitchen (i usually cook but sometimes i just can't)
A clue in the boudoir (at least a little)
A good idea of who she is
A plan, or be willing to build one with me.
Must be responsible financially
Must be a one man woman (not negotiable)

Sounds like a long list but i honestly think everyone should have these basic traits to be an adult. I bring the same to the table, except the man thing !! LOL I am a one woman man that is! LOL


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## doingitmyself (Jul 30, 2013)

I bet this thread gets going when the rest of the guys show up!


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

Maybe I should have said _she_ would have to be my friend.


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## Guest (Nov 19, 2013)

Must have enough sense to not make a list of criteria to make me fit in. I'm just lucky. And tried harder.


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## biggkidd (Aug 16, 2012)

:hijacked:

Way off topic but it got my attention. I notice many of you ladies say you like or want a man with facial hair. I find this some what strange as I wear a full beard most of the time. Never long though. I have more or less quit shaving for years now. But when I get the notion a few times a year I break out the razor and shave, then I usually have a few ladies hitting on me. Never when my beard is in place though.
Wonder if thats because my beard is Grey and my hair is dark brown. I have had several people who know me comment I look 10-20 years younger when I shave. IDK

Larry


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

Post a pic Larry and I'll tell you how nice your beard is.


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

Terri in WV said:


> Post a pic Larry and I'll tell you how nice your beard is.


I think more than a few of us ladies will tell you how nice your facial hair is, Larry. Pic, please!


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## Darren (May 10, 2002)

Just a few really important things. First would be telling me I'm going to hell. Not go to hell! Going to hell. I have a strong opinion on that. Religion could be a make or break. Second would be smoking. Sorry, can't handle smoking. Third would be no drugs. I can deal with everything else.


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## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

I'm looking for this......

[YOUTUBE]axuJy0xRb8E[/YOUTUBE]


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## biggkidd (Aug 16, 2012)

Terri in WV said:


> Post a pic Larry and I'll tell you how nice your beard is.


lol
Might break my phone and your computer. 

Larry

PS I just looked I don't have any on here.


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

zong said:


> Must have enough sense to not make a list of criteria to make me fit in. I'm just lucky. Ant tried harder.


I don't have a list per se , but in conversations like this I think it is more what we naturally respond to in a warm and fuzzy way....ya know ...the things that trip our trigger!


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

sustainabilly said:


> We would have to be friends first. Not just good friends. And certainly not infatuated acquaintances. But friends that would sacrifice something of _themselves_ before they would ever cross each other. Friends that would love each other enough to bite their tongue and listen to the other's gripes, even when they knew they were wrong. Or, know them well enough to know when they needed a swift kick back into reality. Maybe it's too tall an order IDK.
> 
> I heard a saying once that went something like, 'Never apply for a job that would require you to buy a new wardrobe.' I know this isn't about work. But it's a metaphor. Work with me here, OK?
> 
> A lot of people will go into a relationship with unconscious prejudices that color their feelings in ways they might not even realize. Blue collar vs. white collar background, religion, race,...etc. The process that allows acquaintances to become friends, then friends to become true, best friends, naturally weeds out any unconscious prejudice. When the way is clear, it also permits friends like that to reveal any deeper feelings without feeling so self-conscious. At worst, you still have a genuine friend. At best, you have someone who knows you well enough to finish your


Sentence.:happy2:


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

I like a smooth face, a goat beard, and I have a thing for the mustaches that goes down to your chin, I forget what its called. It a thing in Texas and I find it sexy, but a smooth face is also very attractive. And jase on Duck dynasty is dreamy.,


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

Yep Fowler I like all of that too...except when it is just that weird little "hitler" patch of hair under the mouth...I don't understand those.


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## Fair Light (Oct 13, 2010)

Ofcoarse the basics like non-smoker, no recreational drugs of any kind ever...occasional glass of wine or beer acceptable but no alcoholics..must be honest to the fault... Kind, considerate of others, genuine and sincere... No phonies...must share values...must be loving and affectionate... Oh.. Can't forget the most important one... Must be my intellectual equal...and be well read..must be a strong leader and be able to stand up to me... No wimps...(trying to be honest here)...preferably taller than I am... And I am 5'7"...prefer no facial hair... Clean cut...weight not a real issue with me but must be able to work with me...prefer gainfully employed or at least with income potential...gee I didn't realize my list would be so long... LOL


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

Nowwaidaminnit! This thing looks like it's heading towards a one-sided discussion with a side order of double standards. If a bunch of guys posted their physical preferences, the mods would be hawkin' this thread big time. Long hair, short hair, blonde ,brunette redhead, heavy, thin, short, tall. Stacked or not. Blah, blah, blah. 
The last thread that did something like that lasted multi-pages of bickering. First, it's all the same in the dark. Second, if you're laughing so hard you got tears in your eyes, everyone looks heaven sent. Third, most everybody's got enough hair someplace that they could be dragged around by it. Sheesh!


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Fairlight you know Zong is taken right?...LOL


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

So sustainabilly ya got any facial hair?


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## Westexas (Apr 10, 2013)

I couldn't help "listening in." Coming up on 10th anniv. of marriage #2, and still friends with #1 (we met while dissecting a cat together in 9th grade Biology class), I would have to say that being friends is the nicest and most enduring thing - treating each other with kindness even when we don't agree. Humor is also nice; I always tell our friends that I will undoubtedly die laughing! The give-and-take: when I am tired he takes care of me, and when I am feeling good I take care of him. I thank God for him every day, and know that this is His doing and not mine.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Your are correct Karl, this was not the direction I wanted it to go. Stand in the corner for 2 mins fairlight and think about what you did......LOL


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## Fair Light (Oct 13, 2010)

Ha..Ha... I didn't realize I was describing Zong !!! Am I ??


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## Fair Light (Oct 13, 2010)

Zong... I didn't know this describes you !! Gee.., wish I had known before..Ha..Ha..


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

roadless said:


> So sustainabilly ya got any facial hair?


A stache. You?

It's the only thing that matches the hair on my head and brown over gray looks stuupid!


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Fair Light said:


> Ha..Ha... I didn't realize I was describing Zong !!! Am I ??


 repeat stupid smart phone!!


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Fair Light said:


> Ha..Ha... I didn't realize I was describing Zong !!! Am I ??


I'm picking on you sweetie, but he did resemble your comment...LOL. Between you and me I had a crush on his witts .....LOL


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

Chill out. Not one of us has yet stated he must have washboard abs.
They're a nice bonus on a local country cattle baron who is kind, happy and lives in his own castle, though. :flame:


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

i wanna mean fire breathing broom riding witchy woman that is 36-24-36....thats right....36acres....24 pieces of farm equipment....36 head of livestock.....roflmao


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## Fair Light (Oct 13, 2010)

Actually... I did have someone else here in mind.., but Nooooo !!!! I ain't talking ...:hobbyhors woohoo !! And Roadless !! Never you mind,
..


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

LOL Nothing like keeping the priorities straight, elk.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Now enquiring minds want to know...oh crude now the suspense will cause me heartburn...LOL


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## Fair Light (Oct 13, 2010)

I will pass on the washboard abs... If he had them he will expect me to have them...um??? And I don't.,,


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

Karl, I have to disagree with you, clean shaven or beard is NOT the same in the dark.


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

Fowler said:


> Now enquiring minds want to know...oh crude now the suspense will cause me heartburn...LOL


Take a bacon pill. fix ya right up.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

Fair Light said:


> I will pass on the washboard abs... If he had them he will expect me to have them...um??? And I don't.,,


No reason to be reasonable, is there?

I think I'm adding to my list of things my Must Haves. Besides, washboard abs, my Cattle Baron must be 25 years younger than I and mature.
:hobbyhors


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

Laura said:


> No reason to be reasonable, is there?
> 
> I think I'm adding to my list of things my Must Haves. Besides, washboard abs, my Cattle Baron must be 25 years younger than I and mature.
> :hobbyhors


You sure that at 35 he'd be done with sowing his wild oats?


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

My one big thing is that there must be a little bit of mental stability. I wasn't impressed with that roller coaster ride!


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

Terri in WV said:


> Karl, I have to disagree with you, clean shaven or beard is NOT the same in the dark.



you naughty woman.....lol


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

Oh, no, your mind just took it there!


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

Terri in WV said:


> Karl, I have to disagree with you, clean shaven or beard is NOT the same in the dark.


Ha! No, I'm not touchin' that.


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

Terri in WV said:


> Karl, I have to disagree with you, clean shaven or beard is NOT the same in the dark.


Leave me rephrase that. In the dark of a drunken stupor.


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

I was just thinking how nice facial hair feels when I'm getting my neck nibbled. I don't know what the heck your mind was thinking! :whistlin:


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

Yeah, uh huh. The second oldest line in the book.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

sustainabilly said:


> You sure that at 35 he'd be done with sowing his wild oats?


 One of us is bad at math.


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

Laura said:


> One of us is bad at math.


5/4ths of the people I know can't do fractions.


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

sustainabilly said:


> 5/4ths of the people I know can't do fractions.


 I believe you. You're such a trustworthy sort of man.


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## catspjamas (Jul 14, 2013)

Fowler said:


> I I have a thing for the mustaches that goes down to your chin, I forget what its called. It a thing in Texas and I find it sexy,


Like Yosemite Sam's? Or a Fu Manchu?


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

I'm sorry Laura, I know this stuff is important to you. I'm just cutting up. 

But, what was the question? I must've been ignoring you.


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## catspjamas (Jul 14, 2013)

I dated a guy that worked for the same company I did. Not exactly co-workers, but I saw him frequently. Not long after my co-workers (female) learned we were dating, they told me all about this list he had. A list for the woman he wanted to be with. Apparently, they all thought it was appalling he had a list. So I asked him about it and he showed it to me. No smoking, no drugs, no tattoos, meeting in church would be a plus, to me nothing out of the ordinary. And I pretty much met everything on his list. I still don't know what the problem with the list was. Because he had one written down, or because he talked about it?


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

Terri in WV said:


> I was just thinking how nice facial hair feels when I'm getting my neck nibbled. I don't know what the heck your mind was thinking! :whistlin:


that lie right there deserves a song....lol

yes....i am rotten to the core !!!!



[YOUTUBE]nP6WoL-QdnE[/YOUTUBE]


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## catspjamas (Jul 14, 2013)

sustainabilly said:


> Nowwaidaminnit! This thing looks like it's heading towards a one-sided discussion with a side order of double standards. If a bunch of guys posted their physical preferences, the mods would be hawkin' this thread big time. Long hair, short hair, blonde ,brunette redhead, heavy, thin, short, tall. Stacked or not. Blah, blah, blah.
> The last thread that did something like that lasted multi-pages of bickering. First, it's all the same in the dark. Second, if you're laughing so hard you got tears in your eyes, everyone looks heaven sent. Third, most everybody's got enough hair someplace that they could be dragged around by it. Sheesh!


Au contraire, mon frere. It wasn't a posting of physical traits that set off the bickering, but disparaging comments about people that didn't meet the requirements. There's a big difference.

If guy says he wants a woman 5'2", blue eyes, stacked, that's a gourmet chef, well, I know he and I wouldn't click. So there wouldn't be any bickering, at least not from me. I can cook, but I'm not a gourmet chef.


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## Twp.Tom (Dec 29, 2010)

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_y9FB3O7j0[/ame]


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Both good songs. Good for dancing. I know I have, to I want to kiss you all over, and I suppose I surely have to it aint me Babe.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

catspjamas said:


> Like Yosemite Sam's? Or a Fu Manchu?


Yosemite!! He's sexy


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

catspjamas said:


> Au contraire, mon frere. It wasn't a posting of physical traits that set off the bickering, but disparaging comments about people that didn't meet the requirements. There's a big difference.
> 
> If guy says he wants a woman 5'2", blue eyes, stacked, that's a gourmet chef, well, I know he and I wouldn't click. So there wouldn't be any bickering, at least not from me. I can cook, but I'm not a gourmet chef.


I'll concede all that cats except the big difference. More like a specific point of contention considering the spirit of my comment. Not worth arguing about in any case. I hope you'll come to realize that I don't cotton to people making uninformed, generalized judgments about others simply because of their appearance. 

My point was that while watching the trend of the thread, it appeared to be heading in the direction of a similar topic. ie: comments about people with specific physical characteristics, In addition to that, the (primarily) single gender postings led to my allusion to a double standard. 

It has often been the case, here on ST, that when only one gender (generally female) has had free run with remarks of that nature, it's usually tolerated. Sadly, the reverse hasn't always been true. There is a level of sensitivity, as well as, conservative propriety, that leads to censorship (or at least a cooling down) of thread trends in that direction. Understandably so, IMO.

Having been witness to that kind of thing in the past, as well as the almost inevitable result, I naturally made a teasing remark. I can't help myself. Seeing someone about that.

Frankly, while the topics discussed on this forum are often enlightening and certainly, regularly entertaining, one should put only a modicum of importance on their overall efficacy. Just my opinion. And, there were, at one point, two mods monitoring the festivities.


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## littlejoe (Jan 17, 2007)

Fowler said:


> when seeking a potental mate?
> 
> My number one is:
> 
> Humor, I have a quirky one, so they must get that and appreciate the charm of it.


I used to think a rich, beautiful, nymphomaniac would be ideal. I've rethought it a little, since I got wise/r? lol! Now I think she'd have to have a kind heart first and foremost! YUP YUP!

And maybe a sense of humour, cuz mine is kinda outside a lot of people's.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

That was a lot of BIG words sir do you have the dummies version? LOL!!


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

But But She started it!


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## susieneddy (Sep 2, 2011)

I wonder how many are checking out profiles after seeing some of the comments 

maybe I need to post a name after a comment so you folks will know if it is Susie or Eddy posting


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

Fowler said:


> That was a lot of BIG words sir do you have the dummies version? LOL!!



i was thinking shrek hacked his account and went rogue....lol


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## elkhound (May 30, 2006)

susieneddy said:


> I wonder how many are checking out profiles after seeing some of the comments



my profile is very round....lol


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## catspjamas (Jul 14, 2013)

sustainabilly said:


> I'll concede all that cats except the big difference. More like a specific point of contention considering the spirit of my comment. Not worth arguing about in any case. I hope you'll come to realize that I don't cotton to people making uninformed, generalized judgments about others simply because of their appearance.
> 
> My point was that while watching the trend of the thread, it appeared to be heading in the direction of a similar topic. ie: comments about people with specific physical characteristics, In addition to that, the (primarily) single gender postings led to my allusion to a double standard.
> 
> ...


Just to clarify, not argue, I meant a big difference between listing of physical traits (which is ok by me), and disparaging comments (not ok, whether done by male or female).


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

Well I thought if I talked long enough I could bore cats to sleep and maybe win the argument. It could happen.


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

My fingers hurt.


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## catspjamas (Jul 14, 2013)

sustainabilly said:


> Well I thought if I talked long enough I could bore cats to sleep and maybe win the argument. It could happen.


You win. Because I don't know what the argument is about. You can have your choice of what's behind door #1 or door #2.


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

OK I promise no more thread drift. Must haves: 18-80, blind crippled or crazy. That's all I got.


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## catspjamas (Jul 14, 2013)

sustainabilly said:


> OK I promise no more thread drift. Must haves: 18-80, blind crippled or crazy. That's all I got.


I wear glasses, and I have a steel plate in my right leg that sometimes makes me limp, and I've been told I'm crazy. Close enough?


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

But, do you have a boat?


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## catspjamas (Jul 14, 2013)

sustainabilly said:


> But, do you have a boat?


 no. I have an inner tube, though.


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

littlejoe said:


> I used to think a rich, beautiful, nymphomaniac would be ideal.


Dang, only one out of the three...:spinsmiley:


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

Er, I have a copper plate in my head. Without a special, aluminum/zinc sacrificial anode, I'm afraid that catastrophic electrolysis failure would result. No boat :grumble:


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## Tommyice (Dec 5, 2010)

Fowler said:


> I like a smooth face, a goat beard, and I have a thing for the mustaches that goes down to your chin, I forget what its called. It a thing in Texas and I find it sexy, but a smooth face is also very attractive. And jase on Duck dynasty is dreamy.,


They're called muttonchops. No wonder you like them--sheep lady.


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

littlejoe said:


> I used to think a rich, beautiful, nymphomaniac would be ideal. I've rethought it a little, since I got wise/r? lol! Now I think she'd have to have a kind heart first and foremost! YUP YUP!
> 
> And maybe a sense of humour, cuz mine is kinda outside a lot of people's.


 
GARY!!!! :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

Terri in WV said:


> Dang, only one out of the three...:spinsmiley:


 
Terri, you are killing me!!! ound:

(While some of the thread drift comments are boring me!!! Jeez!) :help:


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

No, I'm not! You're still posting...:hysterical:


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

Be nice or I will report you and get this thread deleted!!! Don't make me.........


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## catspjamas (Jul 14, 2013)

World Champions. Wonder what the last two can tickle with those beards?


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

Go ahead and report me, I ain't skeered. The rich don't care! :nanner:


Oh, wait, that was the wrong one from the list! :doh:


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

Nope cats, they won't cut it. Anyone that spends more time fixing their stach then I do my hair just won't do.


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## catspjamas (Jul 14, 2013)

Terri in WV said:


> Nope cats, they won't cut it. Anyone that spends more time fixing their stach then I do my hair just won't do.


I would like to see pics from when they're not in championship mode.


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## littlejoe (Jan 17, 2007)

I've got a bud like your third pic, cats. His is real, and that guy does not look real. He's a cowboy that came from a troubled youth city kid. His is only half that long. Seen him a couple years ago. His nose hairs had grown into it, and his ear hairs were getting close to taking part.

Steering wheels for those erotic moments. eh?

Cattle people from near and far come to this town for it's 2 sale barns...Him and I are about the same size, and I used to sport a handlebar too. He would see people on the street, that would say HI Gary! And he would say "F you!" Good friend, eh? haha!


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## littlejoe (Jan 17, 2007)

sustainabilly said:


> Er, I have a copper plate in my head. Without a special, aluminum/zinc sacrificial anode, I'm afraid that catastrophic electrolysis failure would result. No boat :grumble:


No worries, sustainabilly! If you find the right one, I'll sacrifice the anode from my water heater.

We'll get it in your head somehow?


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## Laura (May 10, 2002)

I saw a guy at the store yesterday sporting a Fu Manchu mustache. It was braided....all the way to his chest. He was quite disheveled and his 'stache in need of a redo. I thought cornrows across the lip beyond the corners before cascading braids would look much better, be easier to maintain as a neat appearance, and not be such a crumb catcher.


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## bajiay (Apr 8, 2008)

Not to be Debbie Downer but I am filing for divorce this week and when the time comes, I would really just like to have someone that is real and honest. My husband fooled me for 15 years into thinking he was someone else...

Having a way to provide for the family would be nice.
Someone that has a sense of humor and likes to flirt with me.
Someone that likes to tango...often.
Someone that enjoys the simple little things in everyday life...those are the things that make me happy. Cooking dinner together, or just sitting on the couch or outside after dinner and just talking, or even not, and just enjoying each other's company.


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

I really don't have a list. As long as she is perfect, I'm fine.


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

ME!!! He's gotta be ME! (In masculine form, of course!) (And a li'l bit taller. . . . )


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

catspjamas said:


> I dated a guy that worked for the same company I did. Not exactly co-workers, but I saw him frequently. Not long after my co-workers (female) learned we were dating, they told me all about this list he had. A list for the woman he wanted to be with. Apparently, they all thought it was appalling he had a list. So I asked him about it and he showed it to me. No smoking, no drugs, no tattoos, meeting in church would be a plus, to me nothing out of the ordinary. And I pretty much met everything on his list. I still don't know what the problem with the list was. Because he had one written down, or because he talked about it?


Most people these days are appalled by standards and values.


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

Chicks below 45 are really not into facial hair. They should be though.


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## Fair Light (Oct 13, 2010)

nehimama said:


> ME!!! He's gotta be ME! (In masculine form, of course!) (And a li'l bit taller. . . . )


I tried this.... It's no good !!! LOL.. I actually met a guy that is exactly like me and it was very very annoying !!! Not a good thing at all... Every time he said anything I wanted to smack him upside the head and tell him to be himself and quit imitating me.., I finally realized things about myself that I don't want in another person....and he is a big tough guy that CAN stand up to me...but this was too much... We are both too stubborn and bossy...NO !!! There has to be a some contrast to balance everything out...I used to think I wanted a man just like me... But I don't...this particular guy is a great guy and we are still very good friends ... But we would annoy the heck out of each other as life partners...and he knows it as well...


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

Fowler said:


> when seeking a potental mate?
> 
> My number one is:
> 
> Humor, I have a quirky one, so they must get that and appreciate the charm of it.


1. Believer
2. Integrity (honesty, loyalty)
3. Confident leader
4. 100% self sufficient
5. Self-disciplined and Self-control

:hairSociopath's need not apply!:hair


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## SimplerTimez (Jan 20, 2008)

I have mused over this thread for several days, I guess because of the word âmustâ. Roadless already took breathing, so I could say âA pulse,â lol.

About three years after my husbandâs death, I did make a list as part of a widowâs group activity â something to help us think outside of the person that no longer was with us, and to prepare us for dating.

I took that list out again recently and found that everything that I listed was either an emotional trait or a mental trait â nothing on there about facial hair (or hair on the head either!), physique, finances, or even owning land or not. Emotional availability is critical to the success of a relationship, even in a friendship, and especially for a romantic partnership. 

Loving takes an open heart and a willingness to take a risk. You canât love half------ed or in reserve measures. Hurt puts a ding in that ability, granted; but hurt is a natural part of life. You get up, you move on. Hopefully you learn a thing or two  I have had to remind myself of this lately.

So my must haves are:

An open and available heart, willing to take a risk

The ability to communicate emotionally

An earnest joy for living â that ability to still feel wonder

After those things, well, the journey of discovery is what makes meeting new people and getting to know them the interesting and enjoyable thing that it is. Lots of other things are negotiable, so spend the time to find out what those are for you and that other person. 

No one person is going to come into your life that has every single quality that you can think of â but that does not change their potential to add to your happiness, and you theirs for a pleasant and lifelong partnership.

~ST


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

I am growing my beard out. It is way too white though. I look older.


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## SimplerTimez (Jan 20, 2008)

Fair Light said:


> I tried this.... It's no good !!! LOL.. I actually met a guy that is exactly like me and it was very very annoying !!! Not a good thing at all... Every time he said anything I wanted to smack him upside the head and tell him to be himself and quit imitating me.., I finally realized things about myself that I don't want in another person....and he is a big tough guy that CAN stand up to me...but this was too much... We are both too stubborn and bossy...NO !!! There has to be a some contrast to balance everything out...I used to think I wanted a man just like me... But I don't...this particular guy is a great guy and we are still very good friends ... But we would annoy the heck out of each other as life partners...and he knows it as well...


LOL! I understand this. I need someone a bit opposite of me, to keep me grounded  Like Yin and Yang with some overlap! I'm pretty dreamy and imaginative, but alternate with terribly pragmatic and analytical. 

My two worst traits are naivete and impulsiveness - it would be nice to have someone a little more worldly and centered (but not a stick-in-the-mud!) to help me.

~ST


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

SimplerTimez said:


> LOL! I understand this. *I need someone a bit opposite of me, to keep me grounded  Like Yin and Yang with some overlap! * I'm pretty dreamy and imaginative, but alternate with terribly pragmatic and analytical.
> 
> My two worst traits are naivete and impulsiveness - it would be nice to have someone a little more worldly and centered (but not a stick-in-the-mud!) to help me.
> 
> ~ST


Someone that will go nose to nose with me and tell me no.
Someone who will look at me and say, relax, I have taken care of all the details (every once in a while)
Someone who's not afraid to say "woman....you are wrong" or "baby, you are right".
A set of stones, and confidence to use them.


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## Westexas (Apr 10, 2013)

bajiay said:


> Not to be Debbie Downer but I am filing for divorce this week and when the time comes, I would really just like to have someone that is real and honest. My husband fooled me for 15 years into thinking he was someone else...
> 
> Having a way to provide for the family would be nice.
> Someone that has a sense of humor and likes to flirt with me.
> ...


Bless you, and know that he is out there. I learned to let God take care of the details, however, as my efforts to speed up the process ended in frustration every time. Better to be alone and at peace than to chase after MY idea of a perfect mate! One day a mutual friend was in his shop and he told her "I sure would like to take her out to dinner.". I couldn't have imagined a better partner and am thankful for every day - ten years next Feb 14 th!


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

My last was on 2 14

bj. From your description, I would run from you, and you would be wise to do so in the opposite direction lol


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## doodlemom (Apr 4, 2006)

bajiay said:


> Not to be Debbie Downer but I am filing for divorce this week and when the time comes, I would really just like to have someone that is real and honest. My husband fooled me for 15 years into thinking he was someone else...
> 
> Having a way to provide for the family would be nice.
> Someone that has a sense of humor and likes to flirt with me.
> ...


Congratulations and good luck!


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

Adding a must have

Table Manners.

Lord Sweet Jesus.........
A closed mouth while chewing.
An empty mouth, when talking.
Slow down and chew your food and you won't choke and cough through the whole meal.
Do NOT ever blow your nose at the table, OR in the kitchen. Ever. Gross.
Slow down. You do not need to shovel your food in at warp speed.
Smaller bites. You do not need to shove the amount of food (proportionally) a hibernating chipmunk shoves into his face at the table.....

Bad table manners is a total, complete deal breaker.


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## viggie (Jul 17, 2009)

After much thought, I've been able to come up with 2 things that really matter to me. 

Like faith is definitely #1. I can put my trust in a strong man of God.
Not having children is #2. I simply don't aspire to motherhood.


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

Laura Zone 5 said:


> Adding a must have
> 
> Table Manners.
> 
> ...


Yes Mother. What's for dessert?


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

i'll go along with Laura with the table manners. my god some men are such pigs at the table and that's doing a dis-service to the pig. I mentioned before about the minister from our church that ask me out to dinner at a fancy restaurant. he blew his nose in the cloth napkin. I near died and couldn't get away from him fast enough. I've had 1 or 2 here for a meal that I wish I hadn't invited and never did again.~Georgia.


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

come on now......

Seriously, would you just DIE if you took a lady out to dinner and she was smackin' her lips, talking with her mouth full, constantly drinking water because she was eating SO FAST and SO MUCH that she was coughing and choking on her food???

(( As far as the nose blowing goes.....it's the one thing that will make me gag / wretch and puke. I can stomach ANYTHING, except, snot....bleck ))


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

sustainabilly said:


> Yes Mother. What's for dessert?


If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding. HOW can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?:heh:


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

Laura Zone 5 said:


> come on now......
> 
> Seriously, would you just DIE if you took a lady out to dinner and she was smackin' her lips, talking with her mouth full, constantly drinking water because she was eating SO FAST and SO MUCH that she was coughing and choking on her food???
> 
> (( As far as the nose blowing goes.....it's the one thing that will make me gag / wretch and puke. I can stomach ANYTHING, except, snot....bleck ))


But...does she have a boat?!

Kidding. Yeah that would be gross. I've never run into anything like that. "Course, I'd just pull the plug, let all the air out of her, and continue eating alone.


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

Iâve always thought love was The Cosmic Joke. 

When you think about all the things that must coalesce in a favorable way to have a successful relationship, well, itâs almost like hitting the Lotto when it happens. 

Mutually acceptable backgrounds, creeds, similar tastes but not too similar, senses of humor, politics, religion, proximity in age or a willingness to accept serious consequences if not, proximity to place if such cannot be overcome, familiesâ acceptance of one another, financial parity or at least an understanding about how that can work, emotional availability, physical availability, mutual openness of hearts, needs for having children or not having children, drinking/smoking/drug use tolerances, personal chemistry, body type preferences, I mean â hahahahahahahahaha!!!! All are subject to compromise, but few are willing to try.

Now letâs layer on the teachable and/or changeable stuff like hygiene (Really? We have to start there?), table manners, hair on his/her back, weight, nose-picking or horking up loogies in the house or on the patio, compatible tolerance for sloth or tidinessâ¦. see where Iâm going here? Who can live up to all that? That ANYONE EVER gets together is almost a miracle.

Once or twice in a lifetime, there is aâ¦ an equality of admiration, for lack of a better term, and the potential for something truly extraordinary and precious to happen. Thatâs what I look for. And then weâll see. Itâs still probably doomed. Thatâs the norm, when you think about it. Every single relationship you ever been in except the one youâre in RIGHT NOW was a failure due to something (other than death). 

So why do we do it, keep slamming ourselves against the rocks on the shore? Because when itâs right, thereâs nothing like it in the world.

No lists here. But don't hork loogies on my patio. I can't stand that.


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

Because girls are pretty.


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

Raeven said:


> So why do we do it, keep slamming ourselves against the rocks on the shore?


Because sex is fun...


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## catspjamas (Jul 14, 2013)

Raeven said:


> No lists here. But don't hork loogies on my patio. I can't stand that.


Never heard of horking loogies. Roun' here, we hock loogies.


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## starjj (May 2, 2005)

No smokers or dippers

Must keep himself clean (except when working) as long a he takes a shower or bath when needed

Must have good teeth (not talking about perfect teeth but I can't stomach a man that doesn't take care of his teeth)

No drugs

No sponges I don't mind carrying my share but I won't have a man living off me


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Humor is a must, Im enjoying life. And as Karl said, Live, Love, Laugh thats my motto.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

First you say he must be clean, then you say no sponges??


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

catspjamas said:


> Never heard of horking loogies. Roun' here, we hock loogies.


If you were a man, that would probably be plenty reason enough to steer clear of me.


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## NickieL (Jun 15, 2007)

No drugs and no smoking or other similar addictions. And no anger issues. Been there, done that.

Must like critters, not just tolerate them. Must show kindness to them. 

Must appreciate nature.

Cannot be overly religious. It's not a deal breaker if you believe in religion but don't even try to convert. It's NOT going to happen and don't expect me to attend church or talk about it.

MUST have a healthy appetite in the bedroom. 

Must have their own income and be able to pay their share of the bills. No slugs please.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

It is really cold here in Texas, not Alaska cold, but cold enough for my liking. And it got me thinking about the "must haves" and right NOW it's body heat!....LOL


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## starjj (May 2, 2005)

FarmboyBill said:


> First you say he must be clean, then you say no sponges??


slugs/sponges/freeloaders it is all the same and Yes I got the "joke"


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## Kiamichi Kid (Apr 9, 2009)

roadless said:


> Yep been there done that with all the bells and whistles.....I really don't care about such things anymore. It is not what ya have but who you are.....


My thoughts exactly...


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## Buffy in Dallas (May 10, 2002)

The more men I meet, the more I like my dogs. Oh wait, the X took the dogs with him. 

My list... 
Washboard Abs!!!:lookout: 
Over 30-Under 60
Financially responsible, no debt, good credit score 
Non-smoker! 
Brains (loves Sci-fi & books)
Loves farming/permaculture
Has NO children under 18!!! 
Absolutely must NOT be a christian!!! (Being "New Thought" would be a plus)


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## City Bound (Jan 24, 2009)

What is "New Thought"?


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## Kiamichi Kid (Apr 9, 2009)

City Bound said:


> What is "New Thought"?


I dunno but part of what I read gave me some thoughts I can't verbalize here...


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## bajiay (Apr 8, 2008)

FarmboyBill: Why would you run?


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## Jaclynne (May 14, 2002)

I used to say no smokers, because I'm allergic and it sets me to coughing for hrs. Then I dated a fellow that smoked, but I'd never have known it had he not told me. He neither smelled nor tasted of smoke. His car did not even smell of smoke. I assume he smoked outside though he lived alone.

I've dated men from 5'5'' to 6'7'', so I have no height requirement. There were skinny men and big men, clean shaven and bearded, some could sing and play instruments while others couldn't carry a tune, some were better off than others, but all worked.
None had children and some were jealous of the time I spent with the children I raised. Others were happy to help.

I think the only thing that caused real concern was the unbelievers. And I won't do that again.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

I like big trucks!!!


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## Darren (May 10, 2002)

*Too small?*


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Hey, Nice big truck you got there. Let's get it dirty!!!


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## Darren (May 10, 2002)

That one's not mine. As a bonus, mine is already dirty. That's what holds it together ... along with the tape.


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

Truck tease


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## coolrunnin (Aug 28, 2010)

This one is my dream truck...lol


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## Fowler (Jul 8, 2008)

I have a dream too, and it involves a Brantley Gilbert.....LOL


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## coolrunnin (Aug 28, 2010)

I ain't near that purty....lol


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## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

Just the undefinable good man.


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## Buffy in Dallas (May 10, 2002)

What is "New Thought"?

This is my church's web site. It explains.

http://www.agapespiritualcenter.com/who-are-we-3/what-we-believe-3

http://www.agapespiritualcenter.com/who-are-we


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## RideBarefoot (Jun 29, 2008)

"You don't get rich writing science fiction. If you want to get rich, you start a religion."

Attributed to L. Ron Hubbard

To each their own; I'll stick with the Bible


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## catspjamas (Jul 14, 2013)

Buffy in Dallas said:


> What is "New Thought"?
> 
> This is my church's web site. It explains.
> 
> ...


Sounds very similar to unitarian universalists.


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## akhomesteader (Jan 5, 2006)

Must haves? . . . 
I want a man with strong character and grit, good sense of humor, and politically conservative. I don't care about appearances, but tall is very nice.


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