# THE HUSBAND STORE........and.........THE WIFE STORE.



## Sourdough (Dec 28, 2011)

The Husband Store:
A new store that sells new husbands has opened in Towson, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: 

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, however you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs...

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads: 

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Like Children...

'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.' So
she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Good Jobs, Love Children, and are Extremely Good Looking...

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: 

Floor 4 - These men Have Very Good Jobs, Love Children, are Extremely Good Looking and Help With Most Housework...

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!' 
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Exceptional Jobs that pay them very well, they Love Children, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with all the Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak, and they are 100% Faithful. 

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 18,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Please Exit to the right to make room for more unreasonable shoppers. 


(scroll down and keep reading!)



PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street. Similar instructions are posted at the entrance of this store as well.

The first floor has wives that love sex. 

The second floor has wives that love sex and have their own money and like beer. 

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.


----------



## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

LMAO that is great


----------



## Sourdough (Dec 28, 2011)

Oregon1986 said:


> LMAO that is great


Yes.........I thought it was a good belly giggle.


----------



## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

And no wimmins have yet replied?? lol Magine that lol


----------



## rkintn (Dec 12, 2002)

FarmboyBill said:


> And no wimmins have yet replied?? lol Magine that lol


Ummm Oregon1986 is female, Bill lol


----------



## Hiro (Feb 14, 2016)

I just got frogged on the shoulder for asking my better half to read this. Granted she laughed, but I laughed too much.....apparently.


----------



## Sourdough (Dec 28, 2011)

rkintn said:


> Ummm Oregon1986 is female, Bill lol


Given how many years he has been look for a woman on this forum........I have often wondered if maybe he could not tell the difference.......Especially with all the new genders, that are currently in vogue, or maybe Farmboy Bill is a "Hands'on" kind'a guy.

This post is intended as humor.......not an attack on our sometimes confused, but always loveable FBB.


----------



## Redlands Okie (Nov 28, 2017)

Hiro said:


> I just got frogged on the shoulder for asking my better half to read this. Granted she laughed, but I laughed too much.....apparently.


Hiro did she expect you to go up another floor or two.


----------



## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

FarmboyBill said:


> And no wimmins have yet replied?? lol Magine that lol


Last time I checked I was a woman


----------



## Bearfootfarm (Jul 13, 2006)

Oregon1986 said:


> Last time I checked I was a woman


It's always best to get a get a second opinion.


----------



## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

Bearfootfarm said:


> It's always best to get a get a second opinion.


Lol


----------



## geo in mi (Nov 14, 2008)

I went up to the third floor once, and there were only teachers on that floor. I know, 'cuz I heard one saying: "We're gonna do this over and over until you get it right...."

geo


----------



## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Bears right lol. (Last time U checked). How does that help us LOL


----------



## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

See there Rkintn U gals got your identity hid so well, I don't know what you is lol


----------



## rkintn (Dec 12, 2002)

FarmboyBill said:


> See there Rkintn U gals got your identity hid so well, I don't know what you is lol


It was pretty easy to see when I looked at her profile lol. Don't be lazy, Bill


----------



## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

FarmboyBill said:


> See there Rkintn U gals got your identity hid so well, I don't know what you is lol


What am I supposed to put a picture of my jugs up there?


----------



## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

Sourdough said:


> What with all the people having sex change surgery these days, not sure a set of jugs means much. Hell FBB might even have bigger jugs.


Bwhaha so true


----------



## Bearfootfarm (Jul 13, 2006)

Sourdough said:


> Hell FBB might even have bigger jugs.


Size doesn't matter.


----------



## Bearfootfarm (Jul 13, 2006)

Oregon1986 said:


> What am I supposed to put a *picture of my jugs* up there?


Why not? 


How about I show you just one to start with?


----------



## Bearfootfarm (Jul 13, 2006)

Oregon1986 said:


> What am I supposed to put a *picture of my jugs* up there?


Why not?


How about I show you just one jug to start with?


----------



## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Scared me. Looked like the last woman I went out with LOL


----------



## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

Bearfootfarm said:


> Why not?
> 
> 
> How about I show you just one to start with?


My that is a beautiful jug


----------



## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)




----------



## Bearfootfarm (Jul 13, 2006)

See?
That wasn't so hard, was it?


----------



## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

Bearfootfarm said:


> See?
> That wasn't so hard, was it?


I just didn't want anyone drooling over my bags,lol


----------



## Bearfootfarm (Jul 13, 2006)

Oregon1986 said:


> I just didn't want anyone drooling over my bags,lol


Yeah, I hate when that happens.


----------



## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Wish I had the girl those belongs to LOL


----------



## shawnlee (Apr 13, 2010)

Oregon1986 said:


> View attachment 69006



I have hit the age I think bout those more than the others …….and a good meal.


----------



## Oregon1986 (Apr 25, 2017)

shawnlee said:


> I have hit the age I think bout those more than the others …….and a good meal.


Lol


----------



## IndyDave (Jul 17, 2017)

shawnlee said:


> I have hit the age I think bout those more than the others …….and a good meal.


Once there was an old man who found a talking frog. The frog told him that if he would kiss her she would turn into a beautiful princess and she would do ANYTHING for him. The old man replied, "At my age I would rather have a talking frog," as he put her in his shirt pocket and continued on his way.


----------



## emdeengee (Apr 20, 2010)

Funny story and probably a very true outcome if there were such a store.

Men. Up here the women know the deal. The odds are good (at finding one) but the goods are odd.


----------



## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

LOL. Sounds like something Mae West woulda said lol


----------



## Macrocarpus (Jan 30, 2018)

LOL, Please do, Please. Please, I double-dog dare you!!!! Isn't there a movie called "llllll (something) 
Speed and Jugs? 

As old as this forum is, and I've seen some here for years and years, we'd need a hoist to get some of those jugs in focus. And don't even ask about us men. A good many are even past the ginseng and silky chicken stage the Chinese are so proud of.


----------



## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

We probably could only take one at a time anyways, yours, and this thing lol


----------



## Danaus29 (Sep 12, 2005)

Macrocarpus said:


> LOL, Please do, Please. Please, I double-dog dare you!!!! Isn't there a movie called "llllll (something)
> Speed and Jugs?


Mother Jugs and Speed


----------



## Macrocarpus (Jan 30, 2018)

LOL, and aptly named. good movie! 

Oregon; that is a nice cow! Guernsey? A family with just one such animal is in butter, cream, milk and cheese until the kids are grown and out of the house! All Mama has to do is get the little ones out of diapers and into a high chair.


----------



## Tom Horn (Feb 10, 2021)

Sourdough said:


> The Husband Store:


.


----------



## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Good one LOL lol


----------

