# Things I SHOULD have done while homeschooling



## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

All three of my kids are graduated and off to college.
Two of them are at the local community college, one is at university.

IF I had home schooling to do all over again I would have:

1. I SURE would have made grammar / composition a high high priority. I would have made them write papers, learn and know the rules of writing papers.

2. I would have exposed them to more of the arts. Not 'concentrated' on it, but definitely would have exposed them more.

3. I would have made them take SOMETHING each year in 4-H. What an amazing learning environment.

What are some things that you would have done differently??


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## mekasmom (Jan 19, 2010)

I'm not a "tough" mom, I am kind of easy. I'm the Mom that other kids would look at in awe and say, "I wish you were my Mom. You're so nice." I didn't force my kids to write a lot either. We always used the computer, and they relied on spell check. I always said, "F7 is your friend". If I had it to do over, we would have done DYSTAR spelling everyday from the time they were little instead of ever wasting time on any other spelling program.

I would have had my daughter sewing more from an earlier age. I would have encouraged her "harder" to practice the piano instead of letting her blow it off for more "fun" things. But like I said, I was an easy Mom. I didn't force them too much at all.

Our 3rd son has some mental/developmental issues due to a lack of oxygen before birth. He's almost 28 now, but I wish I had spent more time on simple "functional" skills instead of trying to educate him like other kids. I wish I had spent more time simply on attitude, patience, and impulse control skills rather than reading, writing, and math with him. I don't know whether it would have made a difference for him, but maybe he could have learned to gain more impulse control that way???

We did the Moore's Work/Service/Study formula. They all are good kids, and never look down on others. I am so thankful for that. The one thing that bothers me more in life than anything else is an arrogant attitude. And the kids don't have it. I am very thankful for that. Jesus succeeded in teaching my children to respect others, to be kind, to be helpful, to work hard..... And that is what I want for them more than any book knowledge. None of them are alcoholics, drug users, criminals, etc.

Our 3rd son has such a hard time focusing. He is such a sweet boy, but he is disorganized, and has poor impulse control. He doesn't "look before he leaps". It's hard for him to hold down a job. Sometimes I wonder if would have been easier for him if I let them label him disabled, and put him on SSI? That is my biggest concern about homeschooling. Did I make a mistake with #3? Would he have been better off if we had put him in special ed type program and just let the idiots drug him, label him, and put him on SSI? Or would anything have really changed his life? I want so much more for him. But he is happy, so that means more than if his life is successful according to most standards.


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## cindy-e (Feb 14, 2008)

Let's see... IDK yet. My oldest is a senior, so give me a couple of years. I think I would teach more in high school. I know they are so capable of "self learning" but the big ideas that come up in highschool are important enough to work through with them. I do a little bit of that, especially with literature, but not enough. I'm sure there will be more after they actually graduate. =0) 

Cindyc.


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## jmmac (Jan 6, 2005)

mekasmom said:


> I'm not a "tough" mom, I am kind of easy. I'm the Mom that other kids would look at in awe and say, "I wish you were my Mom. You're so nice." I didn't force my kids to write a lot either. We always used the computer, and they relied on spell check. I always said, "F7 is your friend". If I had it to do over, we would have done DYSTAR spelling everyday from the time they were little instead of ever wasting time on any other spelling program.
> 
> I would have had my daughter sewing more from an earlier age. I would have encouraged her "harder" to practice the piano instead of letting her blow it off for more "fun" things. But like I said, I was an easy Mom. I didn't force them too much at all.
> 
> ...


What is DYSTAR spelling?


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## Danaus29 (Sep 12, 2005)

I should have started sooner. By the time I did start homeschooling my dd had been irreparably scarred by the system. 
And I should have pushed my ds more. He needed pushing. He was as much of a slacker as I was.


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## farmerestes (Jan 6, 2013)

mekasmom, by not putting your 3rd son through the system, you never gave him the chance to blame all the things in his life on his label. My brothers went through, got labeled, and now blame every little setback on their labels. It's no way to live.


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## mekasmom (Jan 19, 2010)

jmmac said:


> What is DYSTAR spelling?


DyStar is the reading program which is now called "100 lessons". AVKO is the spelling program which is now called "sequential spelling". Sorry. I put the wrong word in my reply.
My kids are grown and I have grandchildren now, so when we homeschooled I had the older stuff. (And it was better!) You didn't have to buy annual workbooks and teachers manuals, you just bought the one folder of work for less than $50 and used it all the way through. But it was called DyStar and AVKO back then.


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## Lizza (Nov 30, 2005)

I would have made more of an effort to find outside Science classes, at the high school or with a co-op. Honestly, I didn't do that great of a job and I'm sorry for it.


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## ErinP (Aug 23, 2007)

> mekasmom, by not putting your 3rd son through the system, you never gave him the chance to blame all the things in his life on his label.


eh. It's _still_ up to Mom and Dad whether or not those labels create an excuse or not.


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## sherry in Maine (Nov 22, 2007)

I homeschooled my oldest until age 14 (she attended pre k, in Md, and also K. Both grades were run by experienced, near retirement teachers. They were wonderful! They taught stuff 'the old way'). When dd hit 1st grade, I saw big gaps in p.s. I saw my kid, who'd gone to school already knowing how to read, regressing, and not communicating with me. I saw bunches of teachers who wanted to put her in the 'advanced' math class, then hound her because she didn't understand advance math (whatever that is in 1st grade) I saw a teacher who was brand new and didn't know how to manage a class of 31 students. (who could? it's darn hard, I am sure) I took my kid out then, after the first couple months of 1st grade.
I think you all did to the best of your ability. No second guessing allowed!
I greatly regret letting my oldest go to high school. That was the biggest mistake, and I am living it now. She's in college in another state. She does well, because of the freedom she was allowed in thinking, experimenting, reading, developing the ability to think in a broad and deep fashion. Not 'skimming' chapter one two and 3- then going on to 'more important' stuff. You need to read and have a deeper learning experience than p.s. can give you. Oh yes, they can bring stuff up, but there isn't time to focus on it.

Mekasmom, my youngest is special needs. I attempted 'homeschool' her during summers. It didn't work. She just is a social kid (nonverbal-how ironic!) who needed to be around other children. She has so many issues there was no way I could do it by myself. Also, I wanted to focus my day time attention on oldest daughter; because when youngest got off the bus, my attention all went to her. It had to. I'm lucky, here in this state we have found the right folks who do care enough to help her and do a good job at it. I'd say they are 'dedicated' because I have encountered others in another state who wrote her off, as 'never' being able to do many of the things she can do now. She will still need help as an adult.
If your son is happy, isn't that success? Yes, there are other trials, but remember plenty of people have so much more in other ways, but are not happy.

You all cared enough to make the effort, and follow through. Good job!


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## sherry in Maine (Nov 22, 2007)

p.s., out of curiosity, I will look up 'moore's work study service' I want to see if it's kind of what I think it is.


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## cindy-e (Feb 14, 2008)

Dr. Moore postulated that education should be like a 3 legged stool, with the legs being work, service, and study. =0)


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## vicki in NW OH (May 10, 2002)

We should have started sooner also. I maybe should have had him take more tests, the regular kind with multiple choice, true/false, etc., just to get him more used to taking tests for his college studies. We always thought most tests were stupid. If a student does well on the everyday work, why waste time? We were big on discussing subject material. One thing we did well was composition. We used a curriculum that combined history/literature/writing, so we covered that pretty well. He's now in the process of writing his college thesis for his philosophy degree, so we didn't do too bad.


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## halfpint (Jan 24, 2005)

I'm not sure I would change a whole lot now as I've been home educating about 20 years. But there is a large age difference between my older two and my youngest children, so I did make a few changes based on my son's experiences in college. Basically the two biggest changes were to require them to take tests at a preset time sitting at a table, and sticking firm to project due dates. Both of my son's went to private colleges with a lot of home schooled students and said those were the two biggest issues with many of the home educated students, but since they had taken college courses in high school did not have much of a problem with it.

My younger two have had the benefit of a tutorial program (not a co-op since teachers are paid) which was not available when my older two were in 7th-12th grades. This has been a great program, but I'm not sure I would do it again, or if I did I would limit them to the writing classes (which are my weak area). Since math/science are my strong areas, I never had a problem teaching those in high school, and we've found it to have an adverse affect on our family life, since we're tied down to classes and can't always help in ministry like we would like to, or travel with my husband which we did a lot several years ago.

One thing I did with testing that worked well was that I would alternate between having a discussion on the topic with having a test. I've met many people in life that could test well, but still not converse intelligently on the subject matter. This served my 2nd son well as he went to a small private college, and this was the way some of his tests were done. His Masters degree is from a larger university, and the tests were all standard type tests there.
Dawn


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## 6e (Sep 10, 2005)

I'm still in the thick of it, but my biggest regret is trying to "unschool" for 2 years. Unschooling may work great for some people, but for me, it was a total disaster. We ended up 2 years behind where we should have been and with a ton of learning gaps.  Other than that though, I think regrets is just a part of life. Part of living and learning. We make a lot mistakes. I just pray that the Lord helps me to teach my kids to the best of my ability and that He will help them to excel in whatever direction He would have them to go. 

I have days where I regret the whole day. Maybe I wasn't as driven as I think I should have been and we didn't cover as much ground as I think we should have. Maybe I was ill tempered and lost my patience when the little ones floundered over something we've been over 100's of times. Perhaps it's when I look at my disaster of a house with school books strewn from one end to the other and laundry piled up and dirty dishes stacked up and feel like a complete failure all the way around. But then I look at my son teaching himself Origami on the internet and doing quite well at it and I look at my almost 16 year old daughter who is so sweet and has such compassion in her and remember all the, "Just wait till she's a teenager" reminders and I look at the way my kids interact with each other and have such unique....sometimes strange personalities and smile knowing that being kept out of the pecking orders of the school system has allowed them to blossom into people they're not ashamed to be. I was the victim of bullying in school and I know a lot of other people that were also and I know how that feels and I was in private schools and I know how the things that are said to you affect you for many years and I'm glad I'm saving my kids that kind of hurt. Yeah, I have regrets....but at the end of it all, I know that I did what the Lord called me to do and that ultimately, He will work it all out for their good and His glory even through my screw ups.


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## meanwhile (Dec 13, 2007)

My older two are out of college now. Both planning to return to College for further degrees. My youngest is still 15 and in Homeschool high school.

*What I would do different:*

- I would insist (somehow) my students take more music lessons. My oldest son did learn guitar, banjo and washboard but only a bit and now he is learning it to play in a group. I wish I had inspired my younger two in music.

- I would have found the FIRST Robotics groups sooner. My younger son is enjoying it so much. It is a great program and fits his interests. 

Actually that is about it. For the most part, I am really pleased with how it all turned out. Our best investment was time in working. My older son had paying jobs away from home starting at age 15. All three boys started their own business and have learned a lot from working and learning business. 

They also learn a lot from Community College classes. Both older boys worked as Research Assistants, Peer Tutors and as Aids for Professors/Instructors at Comm. College. They learned a lot from those jobs too. 

I encourage work! I think students benefit greatly - more than I can express - by working. They need and learn from working at home doing chores, regular upkeep, everything. Kids should do and know what it takes to run a home and house. Students learn by working for money away from home too. And they need to volunteer time to projects important to them too.

I do not regret one second of any "book time" we might have missed. None. Even though later my sons have had to work harder in a College class (math mainly) to the work, the time they spent on more important things was still worth it. Kids will learn whatever they need to learn and they will and can learn what is important. 

Teach them to "fish" (so to speak) and teach them how to learn and how to find the answers they need, and they will be able to do anything they want to do.


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## Jeremiahc (Jul 6, 2011)

Although we have yet to homeschool our own children, I wish I would have written more as a homeschooled child. Writing is something that I struggle through now, and when I was in college. I think it is a tendency of homeschooling to skimp on writing. If the teacher is not intentional about writing assignments, they lean too heavily on the book work, and miss this ever so important aspect of education. 

Start early with simple writing assignments. They will appreciate it later!

Jeremiah


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## mpillow (Jan 24, 2003)

My teens went to semi private High School when they reached 9th grade...both have done exceptionally well---high honor students...one now at Maine maritime academy for engineering with presidential scholarship....that said I despise the whole social aspect of life at the semi private school that is stricter than the public schools that they attend(ed).
My almost 12yo has poor decision making skills from attachment disorder and probably will not attend a "public" school. She'd be kicked out every time she stole, fought and would be made fun of for her tendency to cry/yell whenever frustrated. So I'm probably going to "pay" for an online high school program for her.
I never really pushed the writing either....they were challenged and quickly turned the curve....it wasnt worth the fight and I knew they would make that "growth" when someone besides me expected it of them....DD17 now writes stories that makes her teacher cry! Her grammar isnt great but that's what editors/proofreaders are for right? 
The greatest thing I have taught my kids is work ethic.


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## [email protected] (Feb 24, 2005)

I would have worried less about everything. I do wish my health had held out a little longer, my youngest didn't get much of the "fun" parts of homeschooling. I was too sick to do the extras.


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