# What is "Looks DON'T Matter" in decoding "Lady speak"



## Sourdough (Dec 28, 2011)

When a Lady Say's, "Looks DON"T matter" do you think that is really true......??? If a guy is double BUTT ugly, just flat repulsive & 300 pounds over weight, do you think looks matter just a little......or maybe not....???:shrug:


----------



## cindybode (Oct 5, 2002)

Well, I can only say what it means for me . . .

It means I'm willing to get to know you, no matter what you look like, because I think chemistry can develop over time if you connect with someone emotionally.


----------



## Darren (May 10, 2002)

It's a bigger trolling net. Some folks present better than they think. Others have the opposite problem. They'll show up anyway. The others might not.

I figure the "looks don't matter" group might give you a running start.


----------



## Terri (May 10, 2002)

To me, it simply means that a guy does not need to look like a movie star.


----------



## Sourdough (Dec 28, 2011)

Terri said:


> To me, it simply means that a guy does not need to look like a movie star.


So, if I look like a 66 y/o man that would not be a factor for most 30 y/o ladies....??? (Any as it turns out, I do look like a movie star).


----------



## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

well yes. i did have "looks unimportant" on my profile and it was true. i already had a husband whom i practically had to pull a bag over his head to take him out but what a man he was! i also had a husband who was very handsome still at 80 without a wrinkle and whom i learned to despise. you can't go by looks. men or women.~Georgia.


----------



## Terri (May 10, 2002)

Sourdough said:


> So, if I look like a 66 y/o man that would not be a factor for most 30 y/o ladies....??? (Any as it turns out, I do look like a movie star).


I think it would matter more if you WERE a 66 year old man, instead of just LOOKING like a 66 year old man!:trollface She never said that AGE was not important, did she?????


----------



## Guest (Nov 28, 2012)

Just my own two cents:

"looks don't matter" means physical attractiveness is not in the top 5 criteria for a dating partner...It matters not if a guy has a beer belly..or is bald..or has a gimpy leg, or at one time met up with the wrong end of a sharp object and has facial scars..

Looks DO matter, of course..but not enough to be immediate deal breakers..unless there are "extremes"..
Examples of "extremes":

Green teeth...
Braided nose hairs....
Too obese to take an airplane trip....
Too thin to see at night if turned sideways....
Favorite hair style is an imitation of Don King..
Voice like Truman Capote..
Deeply embedded crud from lack of bathing..

that's all I can think of right now..LOL


----------



## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

I usta look like Clint Eastwood 30yrs ago. I hope I dont now.

C U say a guy dont have to look like a movie star. Yeah, Alright, BUTT How NEAR good looking to a movie star does he have to be.

Of Course looks count.If us men were all drop dead gorgious, we wouldnt need a dime to get a woman, IF we had personality to match. AS IT IS. Most of us ARENT drop dead good looking, so we need a ton a money regardless of what our personality is like. The money causes the woman too be able to get past the less than great looks, and near to our personality.


----------



## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

oh my stars Lesley! trust you to come up with something like that.good thing i finished my tapioca! ~Georgia.


----------



## tambo (Mar 28, 2003)

A mans personality and how well they treat me is more important than their looks to me. The list Lesley made would be deal breakers.


----------



## Darren (May 10, 2002)

So I have to lose the nose hairs, huh? I swear I always cut them before they get long enough to braid. Besides with the stache, they aren't that noticeable. Sort of fills out my upper lip.


----------



## Laura (May 10, 2002)

When a lady says looks don't matter, believe her. True beauty comes from within. If someone is repulsive, it because of how they behave.

it doesn't matter how much he weighs, either, but why. Junk food chemical addiction? Is he willing to get out of that easy chair? Can he walk out to the beach, up that mountain? Will he be able to carry on a conversation when he gets there beyond asking for CPR?

Be comfortable with who you are. You won't worry about such silly things.


----------



## Guest (Nov 28, 2012)

Sourdough, Sourdough, Sourdough. A woman always means exactly what she says. You've never even heard about a woman telling a lie, now have you. Be honest..... I know I've never, ever been lied to by a woman. Has anyone?


----------



## Ardie/WI (May 10, 2002)

Sourdough said:


> So, if I look like a 66 y/o man that would not be a factor for most 30 y/o ladies....??? (Any as it turns out, I do look like a movie star).


Well...Gabby Hayes was a movie star....!:whistlin:


----------



## simi-steading (Sep 27, 2012)

Oh.. I thought when a lady said looks don't matter, it meant she didn't mind if he looked when someone else walks by....


----------



## mistletoad (Apr 17, 2003)

I think if she says it to your face she is telling you that your looks aren't as good as you think they are.


----------



## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

Sourdough! You've been cruisin' a few online dating sites, huh? When I say that "Looks don't Matter", they really don't! BUT. . . I *hope* you're not double-butt-ugly! That said, a great personality can overcome a host of physical "imperfections".


----------



## sdnapier (Aug 13, 2010)

newfieannie said:


> well yes. i did have "looks unimportant" on my profile and it was true. i already had a husband whom i practically had to pull a bag over his head to take him out but what a man he was! i also had a husband who was very handsome still at 80 without a wrinkle and whom i learned to despise. you can't go by looks. men or women.~Georgia.


I agree with Newieannie. The sexiest and best looking man is one who is interested in his date. He asks her questions and listens, he doesn't constantly turn the conversation to himself.


----------



## sdnapier (Aug 13, 2010)

bostonlesley said:


> Just my own two cents:
> 
> "looks don't matter" means physical attractiveness is not in the top 5 criteria for a dating partner...It matters not if a guy has a beer belly..or is bald..or has a gimpy leg, or at one time met up with the wrong end of a sharp object and has facial scars..
> 
> ...


Ditto


----------



## sdnapier (Aug 13, 2010)

Sourdough said:


> When a Lady Say's, "Looks DON"T matter" do you think that is really true......??? If a guy is double BUTT ugly, just flat repulsive & 300 pounds over weight, do you think looks matter just a little......or maybe not....???:shrug:


It would be true for me. Think about it SD. How many people are really good looking at 90? I think dating someone just for looks is so superficial. What I want to know about him is what is his character like, is he honest, is he a good worker, does he have initiative, does he listen, does he have a sense of humor...there is more but you notice there is nothing about body build or looks on the list.


----------



## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

Sourdough said:


> When a Lady Say's, "Looks DON"T matter" do you think that is really true......???


no.
it's a dang lie.



> If a guy is double BUTT ugly, just flat repulsive & 300 pounds over weight, do you think looks matter just a little......or maybe not....???:shrug:


yeah, maybe a little. 
maybe a lot.
depends on the gal.


----------



## sdnapier (Aug 13, 2010)

FarmboyBill said:


> I usta look like Clint Eastwood 30yrs ago. I hope I dont now.
> 
> C U say a guy dont have to look like a movie star. Yeah, Alright, BUTT How NEAR good looking to a movie star does he have to be.
> 
> Of Course looks count.If us men were all drop dead gorgious, we wouldnt need a dime to get a woman, IF we had personality to match. AS IT IS. Most of us ARENT drop dead good looking, so we need a ton a money regardless of what our personality is like. The money causes the woman too be able to get past the less than great looks, and near to our personality.


Bill, Bill, Bill...you couldn't be more wrong. The money means nothing if you don't like the man. I have a close friend who is as Sourdough says: "double butt ugly". The man can't keep the women off him. He has a great personality. 

Money could not motivate me to "be able to get past the less than great looks".


----------



## tentance (Aug 16, 2012)

looks don't matter... because hot guys tend to be jerks. also, many firefighters and medics. some popo. that wasnt racist, because of affirmative action. right?


----------



## frogmammy (Dec 8, 2004)

Yeah, but, what's ugly?

Long, LONG, time ago when I was in my mid-20's I was looking through thw "Woman Wanted" in an issue of Mother Earth News. There was an ad in there from a fellow in Alaska and when describing himself said he was, "Uglier than a bucket full of rattlesnakes".

Personally, I've never had a problem with snakes. I didn't write the fellow, but here it is, 40 some odd years later, I still wish I had.

Mon


----------



## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

i think that guy i had to stand in line by in the grocery store today must have had some of that deeply embedded crud lesley is talking about. that was rank enough to wilt an artificial plant. i had to spray some cucumber and melon over me when i got to my car. he didn't look too bad on the outside though. ~Georgia.


----------



## chamoisee (May 15, 2005)

For me looks do matter somewhat; they just aren't the first priority. If someone that I loved from the depths of my soul who was good looking became ugly via accident, etc, I'd be sad, but I would still love them. 

My idea of attractive is often not consistent with what is popular. For example, I like large noses, especially if they're arched, just slightly irregular, or have character- not so much the big fleshy sort. A good manly nose looks noble IMHO. 

Big muscly guys? Not my type, scary. A little bit of love handles on the sides and squoosh in the tummy is more to my liking.  On the other hand, there's a big difference between a merely flabby tummy and a full on potbelly. The later is definitely not my sort of thing! 

I think we all have different idea of what's attractive. My ex, for example, likes great BIG women. Cheated on me with a gal who must have been about 500#....I was 150 or less while 9 months pregnant....:shrug: He just likes big women!


----------



## Guest (Nov 28, 2012)

I dated multimillionaire once ...eventually, his behavior showed plainly that he was a class A jerk...I stopped dating him..he wanted to marry me..that man could have owned the entire East coast and I'd never have considered marrying him...a jerk with money is still a jerk..handsome and money do NOT make up for bad character...


----------



## unregistered168043 (Sep 9, 2011)

In 'lady speak' looks don't matter means they do matter but she doesn't want you to think she is shallow.

It can also mean that looks don't matter so long as you are good looking enough to make her minimal expectations.


----------



## Jaclynne (May 14, 2002)

Looks don't matter that much, and what's ugly to you might be attractive to the next person. Besides, haven't you ever known anyone that was less than average looking and as you got to know them their personality was so great they became beautiful to you?

Money doesn't matter either unless they have a boatload of debt.

Jackie


----------



## 2horses (Jul 19, 2004)

But there has to be an initial attraction - and for me that is based on looks. May not be the same for every woman, but there is a certain "look" that I am attracted to - both my ex and WH have similar physical characteristics. But ALL similarities end there - LOL!! Would I list those on a dating site? No, but I have to admit I am not attracted to any man smaller than me. I think when women say looks don't matter, they mean I'll get past your looks if you're a good guy and we click in other areas. But when I was doing the online dating thing, you better believe the men I didn't find attractive - physically or otherwise - didn't get a second date.


----------



## chamoisee (May 15, 2005)

I remember the first time I saw the guy I'm now dating. Because he was wearing black military pants, black military boots, had his hair clippered really, really short, had blue eyes and a confident walk, I decided he was a skinhead and that I disliked him. I had only seen him from halfway across the coffee shop! This is northern Idaho, after all....

Turned out he is a really nice guy, intelligent, good hearted, kind to animals and can't stand racism. His hair is short because he doesn't want to do the tacky comb over thing! He had to initiate several conversations and hit on me quite a bit before I gave him a chance...but I'm so glad I did! And those blue yes..... <3


----------



## arcticow (Oct 8, 2006)

OK, of COURSE looks matter, to both sexes... But like BL said, that means they are not a PRIME factor of consideration... some very plain gals look very nice in a sweaty T-shirt and shorts with a ratty ponytail stickin' out from under a ball cap... if their personality, and sense of humor, etc. make 'em worth spending time with.


----------



## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

Looks matter very much to me. If you don't look like 1 of my past bad choices, I'll reject you out of hand; strangers make me very nervous. Yep, my picker is broken....


----------



## sherry in Maine (Nov 22, 2007)

Well, he doesn't have to be 'handsome'. Besides, his personality is what makes him handsome or ugly...

Looks dont matter... but a body that's taken care of, relatively speaking, groomed, teeth in pretty good shape (not dirty or green, etc) clean clothes. Doesn't have to be 'metro sexual' but just clean and groomed. No freaky comb overs. No boogers or food in the 'stache.

Dont want his butt wider than mine either.


----------



## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

What I have noticed in my every day life, is that folks who perceive themselves to be good looking, male or female, are generally very shallow. I find it hard to be around them for an extended length of time.

For me, looks don't matter. I have dated men of varying sizes, 400#-6'4", 250#-6'8", 170#-5'6" and my hubs was 150# and 6'1" when I met him. He was too skinny. One thing that seems to be a running theme for me though is facial hair.


----------



## Shygal (May 26, 2003)

Sourdough said:


> So, if I look like a 66 y/o man that would not be a factor for most 30 y/o ladies....??? (Any as it turns out, I do look like a movie star).


That could mean you look like one of the cantina patrons in Star Wars :croc:


----------



## Shygal (May 26, 2003)

FarmboyBill said:


> Most of us ARENT drop dead good looking, so we need a ton a money regardless of what our personality is like. The money causes the woman too be able to get past the less than great looks, and near to our personality.


Reason # 387 why Bill is still single.

You completely have no respect for women at all, you think of them as some kind of leech.


----------



## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Gee, Whatever could make me think like that, I have no idee. Where on earth could I have EVER come up with such a jaundiced idea.

AND

The reason Bill is still single IS precisely because he keeps putting on such stuff. AND IT WORKS.


----------



## sdnapier (Aug 13, 2010)

Shygal said:


> Reason # 387 why Bill is still single.
> 
> You completely have no respect for women at all, you think of them as some kind of leech.


One more time:

Shygal = 1
Bill = 0


----------



## Guest (Nov 29, 2012)

FarmboyBill said:


> Gee, Whatever could make me think like that, I have no idee. Where on earth could I have EVER come up with such a jaundiced idea.
> 
> AND
> 
> The reason Bill is still single IS precisely because he keeps putting on such stuff. AND IT WORKS.


it certainly does work...very well, indeed.


----------



## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Thank you for letting me know my stratedgy is working


----------



## momof2 (Mar 28, 2003)

Looks DO matter! I may be attracted to someones personality and witty character but if their looks don't match and there isn't a physical attraction... then why would I want to take it any further? If I'm not physically attracted to someone then there is nothing that can change that... no amount of personality, nothing. That would be a tough thing with online dating... you might be attracted to the inner person but then not the outer person... no thanks... I want both.


----------



## Shygal (May 26, 2003)

FarmboyBill said:


> Gee, Whatever could make me think like that, I have no idee. Where on earth could I have EVER come up with such a jaundiced idea.
> 
> AND
> 
> The reason Bill is still single IS precisely because he keeps putting on such stuff. AND IT WORKS.


Oh I don't know Bill, because 3 women out of the millions in the world naturally means ALL women are like that 


Its a good thing I don't judge all men on how you are.


----------



## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Those 3 are the culmutation of all my experience with woman. I cannot talk about any women with other differences or personlities, as I have NEVER known them.

You should not judge men by what you know about me, because you dont know me other than from what ive wrote in here. Consequently, the 2 are not the same thing.


----------



## Shygal (May 26, 2003)

I also don't judge all men by the two that I have known and lived with that are abusive selfish manipulating conmen, either.

You are missing the point totally, as usual.


----------



## Guest (Nov 29, 2012)

Hey, I'm going to make masks of my own face. I'll sell them to anybody who thinks they need uglying up! That's right, for only $20 plus shipping and handling, you can be as ugly as me! Actually, I seem to have enough loose skin on my face to make another face with. Maybe I could be two faced! It must work for a lot of people, I keep hearing about it.


----------



## farmgal (Nov 12, 2005)

Shygal said:


> Reason # 387 why Bill is still single.
> 
> You completely have no respect for women at all, you think of them as some kind of leech.


Most men I know that have this adiitude toward woman are the leech of the relationship, or the woman see's they are, before they date them. They get upset when the woman doesnt want to support them. I see it often. Oh I happen to forget my wallet, will you cover this meal...lol :icecream:


----------



## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

IO havnt missed th point at all. 
IF you choose to NOT judge us by your experiences, thats up to you. If you get another couple like your last 2, who can you blame? likely me in some way lol. 
I choose to remember my experiences and keep them as fresh as I can. When/if my kids are arguing with their spouses, I always telll them to keep it up as I want to refresh my memory as to why I dont want to be married.

Another thing. I think most people, in general, use the term ABOUT AVERAGE, and LOOKS DONT MATTER, the last mostly in women because either its a subconcious thing, OR they just want to be left an out when somebody else thinks that they dont look that bad when the woman thinks they do.
I do agree that a woman cant list every type and kind of look that shes looking for, and to be honest, neither can men, tho they try to get closer to THE LOOK they are in the market for.


----------



## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

I am not actually sure what people mean when they say "looks don't matter", I don't really say that or don't think I have anyway. I think they matter to everyone, it is just that some people are more stuck on looks than others. I figure that if someone says it, they mean to say they actually want to learn about the person and don't expect and/or only want "covergirls" or something.

It's hard to say what is going on in someone else's mind. I think looks do matter because we (people) generally gravitate to people we find attractive or...non-repulsive. You can put two people next to each other and compare, this one may have a more delicate face than the other, this other one is slimmer than the other...whatever...but personalities can completely make a man more handsome than he may initially appear or can make the same man more repellent if he should have a really crappy personality or attitude.

Met a whole lot of people in my life. Met quite a few "centerfold looking" men and women that became entirely ugly after realizing what kind of people they were.

No matter what you look like or your size or your personality...there is someone out there that'll dig you...actually lots of someone's, which is another reason I don't really worry about how just my appearance is. I figure if there is anything off-putting about my body or face then I probably don't want to know them either, so it saves time.


----------



## Laura (May 10, 2002)

All that matters is your smile. If you don't know how to smile, genuinely smile, you're probably repulsively butt-ugly inside and out........to me.
Even if all the other women think you're god's gift and you do too, if the best you can produce is a smirk, you are not attractive.

Used car saleman smiles don't count.


----------



## Ardie/WI (May 10, 2002)

When I was young, I watched my older sister only date the most handsome men. And, they were! She proceeded to marry a man who could have easily passed as Elvis Presley's brother. He was also a wife and child beater, a cheater and a drunk! 

I decided to look within a potential date for that reason.

As for preferences I like a big man, but with a gentle heart.


----------



## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Would a better clarification be (Looks dont matter, IF you dont look butt ugly??)


----------



## Guest (Nov 29, 2012)

FarmboyBill said:


> Would a better clarification be (Looks dont matter, IF you dont look butt ugly??)


No..

a "butt-ugly" man who has depth of character is 100000000 times MORE appealing than a human Adonis who is a self-centered jerk..

a "butt-ugly" man who has depth of character is 100000000 times MORE appealing than a human Adonis who is a self-centered jerk with tons of money..


----------



## CountryWannabe (May 31, 2004)

There is no doubt that a pretty/handsome face or hot bod can catch the attention. But that is all they can do. Once you are noticed you have to show you are worth getting to know. 

The most popular man in my nursing class was short, wore big heavy glasses and had a huge red nose ("When they were giving out noses I thought they said roses, so I asked for a big red one"). But he had a tremendous sense of humor, was genuinely kind and thoughtful, had a wildly inventive mind, could carry on an intelligent conversation and was just the most fun to be around. He was never lacking for friends and the girls would just about fight each other off to date him. He didn't worry about his looks, so no-one else did, either.

I agree that many people considered good looking tend to be shallow. They have never had to be anything else but good looking to make an impression so have never developed beyond the Honey Boo Boo stage.

Also - different looks appeal to different people. One guy that I thought was so-so was considered really handsome by several of my friends. Different strokes and all that.

Mary


----------



## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

And the end of story, or him is WHAT? Did Mr happy not lucky get so?


----------



## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Im kinda wondering what the girls looked like that climbed all over each other to date him. 
That may have been part of my problem. Ive always thought/suspected that I was fairly good lucking as a kid/young man, other than having kinky hair at the time . I thought that the hair made me not wholly attractive, as, at that time a guys hair was 1/2 his looks. Because of that, I tended to keep my distance from girls, other than hit and dance/runs at the local dance hall Fri nights. I was afraid of being set up by girls, which happened. I was also afraid of being used by girls who wanted to be seen with me to make their boyfiends jelous. or show them that, if the bfs were going to look at other girls they could finds guys easier. 

I was a really funny guy, but I never got any practice around girls, AND there are 2 different verisons of being funny around guys, and or around girls. It isnt the same. 

So, as parralled to your story, I had girls that were interested in me, but nothing ever happened. Makes me wonder about your man


----------



## L.A. (Nov 15, 2007)

I've always found a genuine smile makes anyone, everyone "good looking"


----------



## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

as an aside, I suppose thats why I married over and over, subconciously. IF/when i found somebody, and the first was at a bus stop inside in the wintertime at Katz Drug Store in St Joe Mo, The second at a Made Rite hamburger shop where she worked. The third was a 2 hitter, the second at a mall in St Joe.
Whenever I obliquely? hit on a girl that she seemed sincere, I played it to the hilt, all the way to the church. I couldnt let go of anybody who seemed the remotlessly interested in me. Those women.girls, I had got cvlose to, and they let me and my personality in to their minds. I made them laugh. I treated them like queens. I didnt want to lose them

I guess, realizing that, and realizing that id keep doing the same thing over and over, I backed up and rethought things out, and realized I couldnt be around city type girls. There were no way to tell city girls from farm girls, so I just kept my distance waiting to see a woman with cow cr ap on their boots. It never happened. And so, Here I am


----------



## CountryWannabe (May 31, 2004)

FarmboyBill said:


> Im kinda wondering what the girls looked like that climbed all over each other to date him.
> 
> 
> So, as parralled to your story, I had girls that were interested in me, but nothing ever happened. Makes me wonder about your man


You may (or may not) have noticed that I said he was genuinely kind and thoughtful and could carry on an intelligent conversation, as well as being quick witted and fun to be with.

His girl friends were varied. Did I mention he wasn't shallow? Some were as average as the rest of us, a few were drop dead gorgeous. I believe he married one of the latter. We lost touch when I moved from the area.

Mary


----------



## Warwalk (May 25, 2011)

I think it's a sliding scale... for both Women ~and~ Men. 

When a girl's 18, a guy having a sports car and good looks is often enough for some girls (not all, but some). When she's 38, a guy having a well paying job and stability in his life is far sexier. Looks still matter, but most girls can forego alot in the looks department for some stability.

Same for guys tho... at 18, a guy will gladly take a party girl with a good body. But by 38 that guy's going to not worry nearly so much about looks, and be far more interested in a girl that can pull her own weight, hold a good conversation, and be an equal partner with things.


----------



## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Whatever u think WW lol


----------



## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

Warwalk said:


> I think it's a sliding scale... for both Women ~and~ Men.
> 
> When a girl's 18, a guy having a sports car and good looks is often enough for some girls (not all, but some). When she's 38, a guy having a well paying job and stability in his life is far sexier. Looks still matter, but most girls can forego alot in the looks department for some stability.
> *
> Same for guys tho... at 18, a guy will gladly take a party girl with a good body. But by 38 that guy's going to not worry nearly so much about looks, and be far more interested in a girl that can pull her own weight, hold a good conversation, and be an equal partner with things.*


How does this fit into the line of thinking when I man says:

I traded in the 'old lady' for a pair of 20's.......:croc:


----------



## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

YUP. Thats kinda what I was saying. COURSE, Ive known a couple guys who did that, and both regretted it.
WHEN your walking beside your (ole lady), you cant see how her legs look. When you trade her off for a 20yr old, You cant see them either when shes walking with you, BUT you get to hear all the childish drama, ect. THEN, WHEN, You happen to see the supposed Ole battleax, you realize shes still good looking, AND you realize that what she had to say related with your life, your situation, your goals. Maybe in an abstract way, so one might think, But the sentiment is there anyway. She suddinely looks alot better, along with her legs, But generally, all one can do by then is look. AND live with what they have.


----------



## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)

Sourdough said:


> When a Lady Say's, "Looks DON"T matter" do you think that is really true......??? If a guy is double BUTT ugly, just flat repulsive & 300 pounds over weight, do you think looks matter just a little......or maybe not....???:shrug:


I can't speak for other women but when I say looks don't matter what I'm saying is I value quality of character over quantity of good looks. Ugly is as ugly does, if a person does ugly things then they're an ugly person inside. A person could be physically butt ugly so they look like something the cat dragged in but if they're beautiful on the inside it makes their outside shine anyway.

As to the 300 pounds thing, well that's more than just an issue of looks, that could be a health issue to look at, the fella's height and health is something I'd probably factor in. If he's 6'6" and robust that 300 pounds may sit very well on him and be an advantage to both of us. But if he's a 5'6" weakling who can barely breathe that 300 pounds is going to cause a number of daily living obstacles to be overcome, not least of which would be his maneuvering and performing in the sack. When the lights are out it doesn't matter what a guy looks like but if he behaves and moves like a slug then I'm going to have problems with that.

.


----------



## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

I've been mulling this over in my mind for a couple of days. I would never say looks don't matter because they do to me. (Earlier in this thread I said why.) I've come to the conclusion that if a woman says "looks don't matter" in her dating profile it's almost certainly because she's said she's average but is in reality not what anyone would consider average in looks, weight or anything else so she's tossing some poor sap a bone. If I were a man, I'd run...fast.


----------



## lonelytree (Feb 28, 2008)

katydidagain said:


> I've been mulling this over in my mind for a couple of days. I would never say looks don't matter because they do to me. (Earlier in this thread I said why.) I've come to the conclusion that if a woman says "looks don't matter" in her dating profile it's almost certainly because she's said she's average but is in reality not what anyone would consider average in looks, weight or anything else so she's tossing some poor sap a bone. If I were a man, I'd run...fast.


If I heard that I would think that the person has no self esteem, is butt ugly, is extremely desperate, or is more worried about money.


----------



## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

lonelytree said:


> If I heard that I would think that the person has no self esteem, is butt ugly, is extremely desperate, or is more worried about money.


I was trying to be more subtle but, yes, by jove, you got it.


----------



## Sourdough (Dec 28, 2011)

Anyone changed their opinion on this subject.........???

NEW THOUGHTS.......???


----------



## sdnapier (Aug 13, 2010)

katydidagain said:


> I've come to the conclusion that if a woman says "looks don't matter" in her dating profile it's almost certainly because she's said she's average but is in reality not what anyone would consider average in looks, weight or anything else so she's tossing some poor sap a bone. If I were a man, I'd run...fast.


I look at that differently. If I put that in my advert it would be meant as encouragement for the men who are on the dating site just looking but never writing because they are aware of their looks and may be reluctant to jump in for fear of rejection. A guy (and gal) can only take so much of that. Handsome is as handsome does. The best looking hunk of a man turns "ugly" real quick if he is really only into himself.


----------



## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

In my case I've found that what I prefer isn't what most prefer. 
If I said looks don't matter what I'd really like to see is hey I like a certain type of fluffy but I'd take a skinny one if she had a great personality and the right bone structure. But hey I really want you curvy nerdy girls to say hi!


----------



## Terri (May 10, 2002)

I think one problem with on-line dating is that the more you care for a man, the better he/she looks. So, a person who has a fine personality but a plain picture might not get the attention they deserve.


----------



## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

Terri said:


> I think one problem with on-line dating is that the more you care for a man, the better he/she looks. So, a person who has a fine personality but a plain picture might not get the attention they deserve.



I have a friend who takes supermodel grade pictures. But if you don't know her she's just plain ugly. 
Once you get to know her she's cute. 
Needless to say the middle part is a tough hump to get over.


----------



## Oldshep (Mar 28, 2015)

I think if a woman finds two handsome men, and one is less handsome but has other qualities she is looking for, then, in that case, "looks don't matter". But I have also found that women will subconsciously dismiss men who do not reach a certain 'bar', where looks are concerned.

I had dinner with an unmarried female friend of mine who told me there "are no single men" around. I pointed one out who was short and not well dressed, she reacted as though a previously invisible person had just "popped" into existence.

"oh he's not my type".

Then I pointed to an overweight guy with a bald head who was dressed well in a business-like sort of way. "Oh he's too old" ( not really but Ok )

I went on to point out 3 or 4 other men who she just had no eyes for. Finally, a handsome, athletic, well dressed man came in with a beautiful woman. "See, there are no single men" she assured me.

"You're right" I said. "I don't no where you will find one "


----------



## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Ive found, on Farmers only, LOTS of women with no pics and there age preferances are 18 to 99. That tells me ALOT, and I hurry on by.


----------



## Sourdough (Dec 28, 2011)

NO ONE on planet Earth is more full of crap about wanting a life partner than you Bill. And I thought that I was pathetic. You and I are both "COWARDS" when it comes to a committed relationship. Sad really, very sad.




FarmboyBill said:


> Ive found, on Farmers only, LOTS of women with no pics and there age preferances are 18 to 99. That tells me ALOT, and I hurry on by.


----------



## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

FarmboyBill said:


> Ive found, on Farmers only, LOTS of women with no pics and there age preferances are 18 to 99. That tells me ALOT, and I hurry on by.


I think THOSE women are on POF to find their cheating husbands......(or the vast majority of them....)


----------



## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

That sounds purty sourful sourdough lol. IF the right one ever came along, I like to think id supprise a lot of people. EVEN YOU lol

BUTT, Ill be danged if im gonna lower my standards as to what I call the perfect woman.


----------



## Sourdough (Dec 28, 2011)

Hell, I got no standards to lower......if she is alive I am interesated, your to darn picky...........:viking:



FarmboyBill said:


> That sounds purty sourful sourdough lol. IF the right one ever came along, I like to think id supprise a lot of people. EVEN YOU lol
> 
> BUTT, Ill be danged if im gonna lower my standards as to what I call the perfect woman.


----------



## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

U Aint tellin me a thang I aint been told a doz times afore.


----------



## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

It means their eyes don't get higher than your change pocket.


----------



## oneraddad (Jul 20, 2010)

What was that movie where the guy looked his entire life for the perfect wife, only to find her and realize it wouldn't work because she was looking for the perfect husband ?


----------



## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

oneraddad said:


> What was that movie where the guy looked his entire life for the perfect wife, only to find her and realize it wouldn't work because she was looking for the perfect husband ?


I don't know. But ten to one if you google it, you'll end up in chick flick hades.


----------



## AmericanStand (Jul 29, 2014)

Requirements
Sourdough , Breathing

Me, The perfect woman delivered to me at my convenience.


----------



## Warwalk (May 25, 2011)

Any woman (or any man for that matter) that says looks aren't important isn't telling the truth. It's plain and simple.

Still, looks is a relative term. Personality plays a large role in how a person looks. Self assuredness plays a role as well. A self assured guy with a good personality (especially with his sh...tuff together) will look far better than a better looking guy that's a hot mess work wise / financially.

Overall, it's been my experience that women rank their preferences thusly: 1) Height, 2) Salary / Spending, 3) Financial Security, 4 / 5) Looks and personality.

A guy that stands 6'3" and makes six figures will do just fine even with a plain personality and plain looks. (heck, he can even be a jerk - he'll just be considered "difficult" by his potential amor)


----------



## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

Warwalk said:


> Any woman (or any man for that matter) that says looks aren't important isn't telling the truth. It's plain and simple.
> 
> Still, looks is a relative term. Personality plays a large role in how a person looks. Self assuredness plays a role as well. A self assured guy with a good personality (especially with his sh...tuff together) will look far better than a better looking guy that's a hot mess work wise / financially.
> 
> ...


May I please not be part of this "woman"?

1.Where does he stand w/ God?
1. Honesty
2. Maturity
Those 2 will peek my interest and will then call for:

1. Security (Is he 8feet deep in debt because he has no self control)
2. Stability (Does he have a life plan, goals, dreams)
3. Self Control (He is not extreme....pretty even keeled, knows limits, boundaries, etc)

Ok, if we're batting 1000 that leads too

1. How does he treat other people
2. How does he treat animals
3. Do his actions line up w/ his words

Then, icing on my cake?
Rough hands, can fix anything, build/create thing, a manly man.
Big voice, Confident, work ethic second to none, does not own an Xbox, is not connected to his phone 24/7. 
He can 'dish it out' and 'take it'. Knows when to make a funny, and when to be dead serious.

Looks? Well if a man has all of the above, THAT makes him beautiful.....
I don't care what the 'shell' looks like, as long as the insides are good, I'm a happy gal.

PS: nice to see you post. it's been a minute.


----------



## no really (Aug 7, 2013)

Male or female they can be beautiful on the outside but truly hideous on the inside. 

It doesn't take long to figure it out, for me money doesn't buy true feelings. Good looks aren't always sexually attractive. 

Happy, lovable, smart and interested in something other than themselves that is a recipe for attraction.


----------



## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

Since my back has been messed up I have been binge watching tv.
Building Alaska and Barnwood Builders (on DIY network) and some might sexy men!


----------



## no really (Aug 7, 2013)

Laura Zone 10 said:


> Since my back has been messed up I have been binge watching tv.
> Building Alaska and Barnwood Builders (on DIY network) and some might sexy men!


Yep!! Drool worthy and mighty good with there hands.


----------



## Vahomesteaders (Jun 4, 2014)

I got a good friend who only goes for plain and even unattractive women. He says they are more faithful and will be far more into sexual relations as they arent site of they will ever get it again. 

As for me. It's all about faithfulness, faith and virtue. I was blessed to find an amazing hard working wife who is beautiful inside and out. She loves the Lord. She is a modest biblical living wife. I hope everyone find that special someone like that. I believe we each have one created just for us. We just have to find them.


----------



## Huckleberrie (Sep 23, 2015)

Vahomesteaders said:


> I got a good friend who only goes for plain and even unattractive women. He says they are more faithful and will be far more into sexual relations as they arent site of they will ever get it again.



Your friend would be wrong. I know average to below average people that are players. The gift of gab is the most seductive quality.


----------



## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

AW! How many times I got to tell you all???









I responded to a POF profile. Guy had a miserably DORKY pic, and THIS is what I found upon meeting face-to-face!









So, actually, NO! Looks didn't matter, but I LOVE what he turned out to be!

By the way, NEITHER of the pics posted here is "The Dorky Pic" he put on POF.


----------



## Alice Kramden (Mar 26, 2008)

1. Intelligence--I must be able to carry on a conversation with you at a level above 5th grade.
2. Looks, physical presence, cleanliness, eyes with that sparkle, nice grin.
3. Personality, self assurance, alpha male.
4. The "vibe" I get from him, i.e., player, egotistical, dangerous to start anything with, or the opposite, an interesting, desirable, I can see myself with you and it feels ok type of man. 

Money or possessions have NEVER entered into it. I have my own money and material goods, I don't need anything from him, but him. 

I simply do not understand why a woman thinks she is entitled to his money, just because they "see" one another or "go together." 

If you want to go with me, or want to spend time with me, you do not have to buy my time. There is a name for that, and it isn't nice. 

I may be bass wackards to everyone's way of thinking, but I don't think I could let a man spend money on me. It just hits me the wrong way. The relationship would have to develop over a loooonnng time into one where I could find it moderately acceptable for him to do such a thing. I guess its because I've always been on my own, and never depended on anyone else to pay my way. 

But, hey, what do I know? I'm sitting here at home all alone. That describes the other 364 nights of the year, also.


----------



## RichNC (Aug 22, 2014)

nehimama said:


> AW! How many times I got to tell you all???
> 
> View attachment 50339
> 
> ...



I don't think he looks dorky, I think the two of you are beautiful!!


----------



## Sourdough (Dec 28, 2011)

Well..........I came close........but my eyes don't "SPARKLE".........:kiss:





Alice Kramden said:


> 1. Intelligence--I must be able to carry on a conversation with you at a level above 5th grade.
> 2. Looks, physical presence, cleanliness, eyes with that sparkle, nice grin.
> 3. Personality, self assurance, alpha male.
> 4. The "vibe" I get from him, i.e., player, egotistical, dangerous to start anything with, or the opposite, an interesting, desirable, I can see myself with you and it feels ok type of man.
> ...


----------



## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Well, Now I wonder if ill be more (interesting) since I have a nice BIG house?


----------



## Alice Kramden (Mar 26, 2008)

[prophead] Sourdough, I bet they would sparkle under the right circumstances!

:cowboy:Farmboybill, I've got my own house, and I'm glad you have one, too. 

Pull up in the driveway in this '59 Dodge, and I'll be impressed, otherwise, no.


----------



## Huckleberrie (Sep 23, 2015)

I will attempt a positive reply.

The size of the gun matters. Burt Gummer style.


----------



## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

Huckleberrie said:


> I will attempt a positive reply.
> 
> The size of the gun matters. Burt Gummer style.


Woot! Woot!

[YOUTUBE]3Ew_jfj9798[/YOUTUBE]

I worked with a guy at Coorstek in Oak Ridge that looked exactly like Kevin Bacon. Kinda uncanny...like, the first time you're walking past the machine he's running and you say to your buddy, "Hey! That guy looks just like--" "I Know. Kinda spooky, huh?"


----------



## Huckleberrie (Sep 23, 2015)

sustainabilly said:


> Woot! Woot!
> 
> [YOUTUBE]3Ew_jfj9798[/YOUTUBE]
> 
> I worked with a guy at Coorstek in Oak Ridge that looked exactly like Kevin Bacon. Kinda uncanny...like, the first time you're walking past the machine he's running and you say to your buddy, "Hey! That guy looks just like--" "I Know. Kinda spooky, huh?"


----------

