# it's a trap!



## lazyBum (Feb 27, 2012)

Last night my friend invited me to dinner for tonight. Then he says his girlfriend is coming. Now his girlfriends friend is coming too. I have a feeling they are trying to set me up with somebody. I dont like being set up. I always do something to make the girl mad, or she thinks im weird. Then she gets mad at whoever set us up. Then the person who set us up is mad at me for doing something stupid and ruining a sure thing.

I'm wondering if i should shave. I haven't shaved in a few months. But i always screw things up and i cleaned myself up for a date that goes nowhere. I think from now on i wont shave or clean the house until the third date. So those things will never get done because i havent got past a first date in years.


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## Guest (Nov 9, 2012)

Be late and show up drunk with another girl. If she still thinks you're charming, you're gold.


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## Echoesechos (Jan 22, 2010)

Hmmm, well go with the flow. BUT just in case wouldn't you like to make a good first impression? You only have once to do so....It's a free dinner right? LOL Go, have fun and just be yourself.


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## MoonRiver (Sep 2, 2007)

Look at it this way. Free food and you just have to put up with some woman for a couple of hours. Whenever someone says something, just look at her and ask her what she thinks. Keep your opinions to yourself and act self confident and a man of mystery.


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## fishhead (Jul 19, 2006)

Whatever you do don't change your sheets. That's the kiss of death.


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## Terri in WV (May 10, 2002)

Go and enjoy yourself and for goodness sake, if you like your beard, don't shave it! Some women like facial hair.


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## lazyBum (Feb 27, 2012)

I think ill go ahead and shave. But only because i have a business trip that i planned to shave for anyways. My beard isnt important to me, i just hate shaving. I also hate hair in my mouth so its almost to the point of irritating me.


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## MJsLady (Aug 16, 2006)

Dude, be yourself. If she likes you great if not, she ain't worth beans anyway.


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## nehimama (Jun 18, 2005)

Good grief! Don't be a failure before you've even started! Go, have a nice meal, and have a nice time! (And be sure to give us all the "after report"!)


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## flewism (Apr 2, 2007)

Girl friends are are coming too, are you sure he want's to share or just show off.


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## Guest (Nov 9, 2012)

No!! Everybody here is trying to send you into a trap, too!!! I'm telling ya, late and drunk is the way!!

Just kidding. Do whatever feels right for you. Any woman worth knowing ain't gonna judge you on your shave, haircut, of jacket.


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

Do bathe. And make sure your clothes are tidy. Beyond that, just go have fun.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

IF my friend had checked out the girlfriends friend , and he was satisfied, I could live with it. IF he didnt, and it turned out bad, Id be mad at HIM, not his gf. She wouldnt know enough about you to make as good a judgement call as your friend. Shes just trying to help her friend.


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

zong said:


> Any woman worth knowing ain't gonna judge you on your shave, haircut, of jacket.


It would matter to me but, then again, I'm not a woman worth knowing.


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## Guest (Nov 10, 2012)

Know thyself. Possibly, if you had a little higher opinion of yourself, you'd find life a little sweeter. Of course, some people like bitterness. Still, you might want to try sweet once in a while. Like a little sugar in strong coffee, it's not bad at all. makes the whole experience a little more interesting.
And, if you were to judge someone on their appearance rather than the content of their heart and mind, then you need to be judged by the same criteria.


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## maverickxxx (Jan 25, 2011)

Well I wish u had more time to prepare but to get a really good women u need to devolp some sorta serious addiction. An get rid of anything u got going for u. Get some abrasive personality that no one likes. Don't bother shaving either waste of time. Some sorta personality disorder would be good. An a serious gift at saying things u don't mean an will never deliver on. Oh a controlling personality. With these key things u should be able to have her locked down for years.


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## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)

katydidagain said:


> > _Any woman worth knowing ain't gonna judge you on your shave, haircut, of jacket._
> 
> 
> It would matter to me but, then again, I'm not a woman worth knowing.


I'm with Katy on this. If I invited a friend to dinner at my house so he could meet my other friends and he was too lazy to tidy up and be socially presentable I'd take that as a sign of disrespect to the host/hostess and friends, and also showing a lack of self-respect. I wouldn't ask him over to meet my friends again.

.


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## Guest (Nov 10, 2012)

So, a guy like, say, Abraham Lincoln, George Bernard Shaw, or Jesus just wouldn't be good enough for your friends because they hadn't shaved?? 
Too funny.


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## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)

zong said:


> So, a guy like, say, Abraham Lincoln, George Bernard Shaw, or Jesus just wouldn't be good enough for your friends because they hadn't shaved??
> Too funny.


I don't have a problem with beards but I do have expectations of presentability. 

.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

There you have it. She just told you the secret to salvation.


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## Guest (Nov 10, 2012)

You may call it presentability(sic) if you wish. Regardless, judging a person's value on appearance is shallow and pathetic. Just like, in this same forum here, when a man implies that he wants a woman based on her looks is also shallow and pathetic. Wretched also. And insipid.


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Course, if she turns out to be fantastic in all respect, youll think it was a set up and muff that up too. Youll likely think shes just cruseing with her friend to be in a safe envirenment and have some fun haveing sex with your mind, without any intention of involvement.

COURSE, whaddia I know


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## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)

zong said:


> You may call it presentability(sic) if you wish. Regardless, judging a person's value on appearance is shallow and pathetic. Just like, in this same forum here, when a man implies that he wants a woman based on her looks is also shallow and pathetic. Wretched also. And insipid.


I guess that all depends on your own outlook about personal values.

If I see a person in a *social setting* is scruffy and unkempt looking, doesn't bathe and attend to personal appearance and hygiene - such as shaving or keeping a trimmed beard and moustache that won't cover their mouth, has greasy, rat-tailed hair, doesn't clean their teeth and mouth, wears dirty stained clothes full of holes - or is only half dressed - and they look like they just crawled out of the woodpile - then I figure that person has some serious mental illness (maybe chronic depression or schizophrenia) or drug/alcohol addiction, or is an antisocial hermit that doesn't know how to associate with other people. If a person doesn't care about their own appearance then they don't care about themself in general and they don't care about other people either.

If they want to be like that when they're at their own place doing whatever it is they do I couldn't care less. I don't have to go there and be with them, and I don't have to invite them to my house and inflict them upon other people.

.


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## Guest (Nov 10, 2012)

As long as you're good with not only being judged by your appearance but being prejudged by your appearance, I really don't care, one way or the other. I would not judge anybody based on their appearance, especially if I didn't know them. But, you know what sort of criteria you base your perceptions of people on, and I know mine. I am surprised by your choices, but, I've been surprised before. I never said anything about not bathed(incidentally, most people take a shower, bathing is sort of stilted) All that other stuff about being downright filthy is a leap of your own imagination. My post is still there to see, as is the response to my post, which you replied to. 
Quite frankly, there are a whole lot of women who get really up in arms if a man bases his opinion of a woman on her appearance. Apparently what's good for the goose, isn't actually good for the gander. Who can be surprised there??


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## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)

zong said:


> As long as you're good with not only being judged by your appearance but being prejudged by your appearance, I really don't care, one way or the other. I would not judge anybody based on their appearance, especially if I didn't know them. But, you know what sort of criteria you base your perceptions of people on, and I know mine. I am surprised by your choices, but, I've been surprised before. I never said anything about not bathed(incidentally, most people take a shower, bathing is sort of stilted) All that other stuff about being downright filthy is a leap of your own imagination. My post is still there to see, as is the response to my post, which you replied to.
> 
> 
> *Quite frankly, there are a whole lot of women who get really up in arms if a man bases his opinion of a woman on her appearance. Apparently what's good for the goose, isn't actually good for the gander. Who can be surprised there??*


Perhaps there are. I don't care about other women getting up in arms, it's not a concern to me. 

I hold women to exactly the same standards that I hold men to. If they have good self-values they will do the best they can to look after themselves and make an effort to be well groomed, presentable and approachable to society.

A person could have a face like a well battered pluck and still be presentable and socially attractive with a little effort on their part just in the way they attend to personal hygiene and grooming. I do not judge a person by the appearance of their physical body that they were born with, but I will judge a person by what they do with their body and how well they take care of it and how they keep themself groomed. The way a person presents themself to society says a lot about how that person feels about themself.

.


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## Guest (Nov 10, 2012)

Read the whole thread. Nothing was said about filthy, greasy, or any of that other stuff, until you said it. Clearly, you are the one who has a serious issue with personal appearances. You, and you alone, went from "should I shave?" to ", has greasy, rat-tailed hair, doesn't clean their teeth and mouth, wears dirty stained clothes full of holes - or is only half dressed - and they look like they just crawled out of the woodpile - then I figure that person has some serious mental illness " Can't you see that everything you say is a reflection on your self?? You the one with a major problem. I just think that "a woman who judges people on their looks isn't worth knowing". And the OP just wondered should he shave or not. You the only one tore out of the frame. Thats why I say " Any woman worth knowing ain't gonna judge you on your shave, haircut, of jacket." 
Cause she's likely to have the same irrational behavior and paranoias seen in this thread.


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## Guest (Nov 10, 2012)

I haven't shaved today, therefore I must be mentally ill. I guess that is a perfectly rational conclusion??


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## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)

> And the OP just wondered should he shave or not.


If the OP likes to keep his beard then I think he should not shave. I would expect him to not have it covering his mouth though.

Is that better?

.


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

@ natuelover: I respect you opinion. You bring up certain points that, if taken with a grain of salt, make sense on more than one level. Even though I may not agree with your... let's call it, delivery, I think the commonly regarded judging points of "pig pen" like appearance are valid. 

However, your expression of your opinion brings up a particularly dicey subplot. To put it as concisely as possible, "Like me" ... "Not Like Me". When that issue is grazed against, it often becomes a very "slippery slope" subject. When attached to an obviously prejudiced opinion like mental illness, well let's just say the flood gates could likely be opened wide.

I'm _all for _putting your best foot forward. Maybe, "the whole package" taking into account (and making allowances for) certain lifestyle choices, would be a more prudent tack to assume before (pre)sumption colors your judgements.


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## Guest (Nov 10, 2012)

Some old hippies age gracefullier(I made that word up, you can use it for only 2 cents per use. Honor system. paypal me my 2 cents at BR549) than others. Not only am I still nonjudgmental, I may(or may not, ossifer) still get high. Just like some old hippies who have aged incredibly ungracefully. Does that mean I have " some serious mental illness (maybe chronic depression or schizophrenia) or drug/alcohol addiction" ?? Or, in realspeak, one of us is nuts, and it ain't me.


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

naturelover said:


> Perhaps there are. I don't care about other women getting up in arms, it's not a concern to me.
> 
> I hold women to exactly the same standards that I hold men to. If they have good self-values they will do the best they can to look after themselves and make an effort to be well groomed, presentable and approachable to society.
> 
> A person could have a face like a well battered pluck and still be presentable and socially attractive with a little effort on their part just in the way they attend to personal hygiene and grooming. I do not judge a person by the appearance of their physical body that they were born with, but I will judge a person by what they do with their body and how well they take care of it and how they keep themself groomed. The way a person presents themself to society says a lot about how that person feels about themself.


I was going to bold the parts I liked best then realized that 95% bold would look stupid. What a person inherited in looks from their parents matters not to me. I've dated some of the crap ugliest men in the world (my last was beyond so abnormal in looks that if we were apart for more than a week I didn't recognize him and had to force myself to let this stranger get into my car) but didn't realize that until after the dance was over. How did they entice me? By being quite charming and well-groomed. Pretty is as pretty does and part of "doesing" means presenting yourself as socially acceptable. Some of the worst looking people have had their pick of conquests. Case in point? Bill Clinton looked like WC Fields to me but both of them apparently charmed the pants off of many.


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## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)

In my first post I said that if I invited a friend to dinner at my house so he could meet my other friends and he was too lazy to tidy up and be socially presentable I'd take that as a sign of disrespect to the host/hostess and friends, and also showing a lack of self-respect. I wouldn't ask him over to meet my friends again.

Zong says I'm shallow, pathetic, wretched and insipid for feeling that way.

So who's delivery of opinion was most dicey?

I think I must have hit a nerve there. :hysterical:

.


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

naturelover said:


> In my first post I said that if I invited a friend to dinner at my house so he could meet my other friends and he was too lazy to tidy up and be socially presentable I'd take that as a sign of disrespect to the host/hostess and friends, and also showing a lack of self-respect. I wouldn't ask him over to meet my friends again.
> 
> Zong says I'm shallow, pathetic, wretched and insipid for feeling that way.
> 
> ...


The dicey part comes in when you label someone as mentally ill if their mustache is hanging over their lip. Is Sam Elliot mentally ill?


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

Awww... it was me that brought up bathing. And of course I meant showering. And of course I was being facetious. I knew LB would clean up purdy before he went out with his friends. I just wanted him to not stress about it too much and to have a good time -- irrespective of the outcome.


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## Guest (Nov 10, 2012)

Yes, as I already said, *YOU* are the one with the " too lazy to tidy up and be socially presentable" which later on became mental illness and alcohol/drug addiction. You brought all that into the thread. Nobody but you. You clearly have some kind of problem with the way people look or dress. Which is your right. But, is it OK for others to judge you on the same criteria?? Have you never said that judging people on their appearances is wrong?? Never? has it always been about appearances to you?


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## Raeven (Oct 11, 2011)

sustainabilly said:


> The dicey part comes in when you label someone as mentally ill if their mustache is hanging over their lip. Is Sam Elliot mentally ill?


Actually, I've heard he's kind of a D............. uck. He lives in Bend.


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## Guest (Nov 10, 2012)

I really am easily fooled. No wonder vampires make a beeline toward me. Apparently, I'll believe anything.


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## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)

sustainabilly said:


> The dicey part comes in when you label someone as mentally ill if their mustache is hanging over their lip. Is Sam Elliot mentally ill?


Ah, but I never said exactly that and you're splitting straws and taking all of what I said out of context.

In answer to your above question - if a man has a moustache that hangs over his mouth I would not label him mentally ill - he would have to display several other aspects of unkemptness and poor self-esteem in addition to the bad moustache before I would make a judgement about his mental state.

However, I will say that any man who has a moustache that hangs over his mouth is a pig and I would not want to kiss him and definitely would not want to watch him eating his food.

.


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

naturelover said:


> I think I must have hit a nerve there. :hysterical:
> .


Apparently.:banana::banana:


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## Guest (Nov 10, 2012)

And of course, you're qualified to determine mental illness.


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

naturelover said:


> ...
> However, I will say that any man who has a moustache that hangs over his mouth *is a pig *and I would not want to kiss him and definitely would not want to watch him eating his food.


My work is done here.


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## Guest (Nov 10, 2012)

Don't feel bad, man. I've been here 4 and a half years, and I'm shocked too. Well, more disappointed.


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

zong said:


> And of course, you're qualified to determine mental illness.


Are you talking to me? Your other comment about bitterness and then your silly thread about garlic along with an unwanted PM (not answered) leads me to believe that I am your target. (Your cheerleader SG loves it when you pick at me and you do when she attacks me.) 

Enough. I'm telling you once again but for the last time to GO AWAY.


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## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)

zong said:


> And of course, you're qualified to determine mental illness.


If you're addressing me with that comment - yes, I am qualified to determine mental illness.

.


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## Guest (Nov 10, 2012)

Get over yourself. You never got around to "mental illness" it was NL. Jeeze, the arrogance.


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## Guest (Nov 10, 2012)

From your years of experience in the field, I trust?? Regardless, I cannot express my dismay at such narrowminded and prejudiced statements as " if a man has a moustache that hangs over his mouth I would not label him mentally ill - he would have to display several other aspects of unkemptness and poor self-esteem in addition to the bad moustache before I would make a judgement about his mental state."
I thought so much more of you.


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## Marshloft (Mar 24, 2008)

sustainabilly said:


> The dicey part comes in when you label someone as mentally ill if their mustache is hanging over their lip. Is Sam Elliot mentally ill?


 Now you've gone and done it. I wish I had the nerve to grow my stach as long as him.
The beard thing seems to have grown legs all its own.
I've had a beard and stach almost as long as I've been old enough to shave.
I've noticed on lots a guy's that they never trim their beard and they for some reason look no worse for wear. They are clen,, well kept,,, they just choose to not trim.
I'm a fanatic about keeping mine trimmed, its just a part of who I am. I think my boy's ages 10 and 12 have only seen me twice in their liftime with out a beard. I have never shaved my stach,, I guess you could say I have virgin lips.
I read today about when Lincoln first began to grow a beard, cool story.
In all the pics I've ever seen of Lincoln,, he wasn't all that trimmed, and yet he became our President.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion I guess. But see no reason to be snarky about it.
GH


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## roadless (Sep 9, 2006)

I like beards and mustaches ...they tickle.


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

Not that she needs defending on the long "stache" thing but it truly is disgusting if someone "wears" food on their lip as my ex did (I don't think he noticed it) or in their facial hair and you have to watch it dancing while they chew yet pretend it's not there (like spinach in someone's teeth) and try to make dinner conversation and enjoy your food. Someone aware of their "situation" would wipe their face with their napkin often enough that you didn't have to watch their bite from 30 minutes ago move throughout the meal. It's good manners not to disgust those dining with you.


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## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)

zong said:


> *From your years of experience in the field, I trust??* Regardless, I cannot express my dismay at such narrowminded and prejudiced statements as " if a man has a moustache that hangs over his mouth I would not label him mentally ill - he would have to display several other aspects of unkemptness and poor self-esteem in addition to the bad moustache before I would make a judgement about his mental state."
> *I thought so much more of you*.


 
From my years of experience in the field. Yes, more than 45 years in the mental health field as a life skills instructor working with mentally ill and mentally handicapped. Children, adults and very senior seniors. 

What did you think I did for a profession? Did you ever think about it at all? I have stated many times here in the past 6 years what my profession is. 

I doubt you have ever wondered about my professions or who I am and what I do so you cannot say you thought so much more of me when you clearly know so little about me and haven't shown any interest.

And what you may have thought of me in the past or think of me now is not really important to me so don't try to pull the "I'm so shocked and disappointed" guilt trip stunt on me, it doesn't work. So chill out. 

I still like you even if you do think I'm shallow, pathetic, wretched and insipid. I'm thinking that's more than you can say about me or about yourself now.

Have a nice evening..... and don't forget to shave in the morning.  

.


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## rkintn (Dec 12, 2002)

zong said:


> I haven't shaved today, therefore I must be mentally ill. I guess that is a perfectly rational conclusion??


Me either (and probably won't til spring gets here. The hair keeps my legs warm in the winter ..this place is going to hell in a handbasket


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## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)

roadless said:


> I like beards and mustaches ...they tickle.


I like them too, I like to play with them and stroke them and braid them. 

But I do not want them in my mouth when I'm kissing and necking with my sweetie and I don't like them when they're allowed to get dirty with sweat and food and beverages and nicotine, etc.

.


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## Guest (Nov 10, 2012)

If I had only known I could have kept the wrong people away by not shaving, I never would have.


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## Guest (Nov 10, 2012)

naturelover said:


> From my years of experience in the field. Yes, more than 45 years in the mental health field as a life skills instructor working with mentally ill and mentally handicapped. Children, adults and very senior seniors.
> 
> What did you think I did for a profession? Did you ever think about it at all? I have stated many times here in the past 6 years what my profession is.
> 
> ...


Not only do I not judge people by their looks, I don't judge them by their profession either. But I do have near eiditic memory. 
Not a guilt trip. If thats your thing, why bother feeling guilty about it?? and why would I bother trying to make you feel guilty?? I point out the fallacy in your misconceptions. That is you, that is who you are. You can no more "feel guilty" about that than I can "feel guilty" about being myself. And I am disappointed and I did think so much more of you. If you notice, it's *I* am disappointed, and *I* thought so much more. So, *I* am the one who did that. Not you. *I* am responsible for what I think, and what I percieve. Not you. and *I* am disappointed. So, make that all you if you want.


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

Did they legalize pot in NC, too?


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## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)

katydidagain said:


> Did they legalize pot in NC, too?


If they didn't, they should. I can think of a few feisty guys from NC that apparently need it ..... for medicinal purposes of course.

I want to visit NC some day. The people there seem rather interesting, I could write an essay about my social studies after my visit. 

.


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## tinknal (May 21, 2004)

This is the best thread _ever!_


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## Guest (Nov 10, 2012)

Yeah, if it ain't legal, we don't do it here. I mean, I love and respect all our necessary and helpful laws.I only wish I had more taxes to contribute to keep more people in jail for minding their own business. I think it's terrible how all those people think they got the right to live their own lives while not hurting others. And I eagerly await hearing the absolutely logical rantings of those who believe that all laws should obeyed because, well, just because!! I mean, we all know that Washington DC is all about actually helping us, right?


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## Guest (Nov 10, 2012)

Just my own 2 cents...
If I'd invited a FRIEND over ..... I'd not give a proverbial two hoots about their facial hair... I'm not their mommy, therefore it's no reflection on me how they choose to present themselves . God forbid I'd dictate to my friend what to wear, how to wear it etc. .but hey.. To each his own


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## starjj (May 2, 2005)

Now I know what people (at least a lot of singles do) on Friday nights, argue over the silliest things like facial hair. Who would of thought that people put soooo much importance on what other people look like and K thought that Bill was soooo charming (I remember well) ,now he wore his food on his face. Of course that is HIS fault because he was soooo charming he fooled her. Honey you really need to get over yourself it is NOT all about you. Bitterness may be attractive to some (I can't imagine who) but it gets old really fast.

I hope the op managed despite what some would term his hairy face to drag himself out of the house and had a wonderful evening.


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## tinknal (May 21, 2004)

starjj said:


> Now I know what people (at least a lot of singles do) on Friday nights, argue over the silliest things like facial hair. Who would of thought that people put soooo much importance on what other people look like and K thought that Bill was soooo charming (I remember well) ,now he wore his food on his face. Of course that is HIS fault because he was soooo charming he fooled her. Honey you really need to get over yourself it is NOT all about you. Bitterness may be attractive to some (I can't imagine who) but it gets old really fast.
> 
> I hope the op managed despite what some would term his hairy face to drag himself out of the house and had a wonderful evening.


Ya know starjj, I used to not like you very much but I'm starting to warm up to you. One of us must be growing a little, and I'm not even sure which one.....


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## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

lazyBum said:


> Last night my friend invited me to dinner for tonight. Then he says his girlfriend is coming. Now his girlfriends friend is coming too. I have a feeling they are trying to set me up with somebody. I dont like being set up. I always do something to make the girl mad, or she thinks im weird. Then she gets mad at whoever set us up. Then the person who set us up is mad at me for doing something stupid and ruining a sure thing.
> 
> I'm wondering if i should shave. I haven't shaved in a few months. But i always screw things up and i cleaned myself up for a date that goes nowhere. I think from now on i wont shave or clean the house until the third date. So those things will never get done because i havent got past a first date in years.


I think you think too much when it doesn't essentially matter. I do the same but not about things like this.

I had a date last week. It was nice. A lunch. I had to teach him how to do his lunch because I picked the place and you have to interact. Basically you construct and control your entire meal...sounds cool..but not as easy for a lot of people to grasp the concept.

Luckily maybe he is an intelligent man. I am allergic to his cologne. He liked to hug. I had to shorten our encounter because I could feel hives coming on and was too pollite to say anything. He thought I was brusk...brisk..whatever the word...not cool in any case.

Still though he says he wants to see me again...and so I say, with a lot of banter crap...essentially that that would be fine...I mean who am I to turn down a free movie?...but that I, unfortunately am allergic to his...uncourteous perfumes.

He could have said anything. What he said was, "okay. I won't wear any cologne as long as you see me again."

Which is okay. I mean I'll go. I don't know that this will really go anywhere...as we already know I'm a "sad sack sally" or whatever. I'm sure he has higher hopes than I do. I'm willing to be surprised. But I have this funny way of telling things.

And unfortunately...what I know will work no one will take the chance and what I know will not work...everyone seems wanting to try to stack onto me.

*sigh*

Quit freaking about shaving or not. I don't. They don't care.


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

starjj said:


> Now I know what people (at least a lot of singles do) on Friday nights, argue over the silliest things like facial hair. Who would of thought that people put soooo much importance on what other people look like and K thought that Bill was soooo charming (I remember well) ,now he wore his food on his face. Of course that is HIS fault because he was soooo charming he fooled her. Honey you really need to get over yourself it is NOT all about you. Bitterness may be attractive to some (I can't imagine who) but it gets old really fast..


Apparently pot is legal now where you live also. I had an EX husband who didn't have facial hair but did often have food on his lip; Bill had facial hair but rarely had a crumb in his "locks". Yes, I've had 2 very major relationships; I don't confuse them but apparently you do. Both were charming gigolos; neither were very pretty. Bitter? Nope. Burnt? Twice yes and done playing with fire though I do have offers. Will I buy another lottery ticket? Nope. You can have all of them. Happy?


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

@ whynot: I love you for your insight , your depth, your unspeakably dry humor. But your such a dick. How do you fit all that calamity into your body? Don't you know?

You:
"Which is okay. I mean I'll go. I don't know that this will really go anywhere...as we already know I'm a "sad sack sally" or whatever. I'm sure he has higher hopes than I do. I'm willing to be surprised. But I have this funny way of telling things.

And unfortunately...what I know will work no one will take the chance and what I know will not work...everyone seems wanting to try to stack onto me"

And us: "This? From the woman who regularly and consistantly gives deep, provocative advice? Who still finds the time to give back to her community? And feed her neurotic dog parsley apothecaries?"

K? Slap yourself! Your s--t _is_ together.


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## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

Such sweet *nothings*.



sustainabilly said:


> But your such a dick.


...ah...singledom. 

You're brave to say that all out here in public. 

No one says that ---- in private. Why?

Figure it out.


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## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

Apparently I have more to say. I didn't realize that earlier.

I ...very dry wittedly...referred to myself as "sad sack sally"...because that is what a lot of people here like to refer to as someone who is down on themselves. I actually am not down on myself ever...usually...however...in my realistic bent that is projected onto me for saying things like, "I accept I will be single".

Hey you know...if the right guy with his head out of his butt shows up...I'm more than willing. Just hasn't happened..I have lived half my life...don't see it coming anytime soon...why give myself false hope? Well that is a misnomer anyway hope is hope. I always have it...but I am not in fairy land as much as I would like to be. I'm in my own world....and there aren't that many people here.

Yeah so...I am not sure what your following quote is supposed to tell me. Are you trying to say I am smarter than the previous sentences that you quoted from myself? If so...it still ain't brang me no love, m'kay?



sustainabilly said:


> And us: "This? From the woman who regularly and consistantly gives deep, provocative advice? Who still finds the time to give back to her community? And feed her neurotic dog parsley apothecaries?"
> 
> K? Slap yourself! Your s--t _is_ together.


I do slap myself. Usually on the butt while I have ....well that is for some sort of x rated forum so I can't say that stuff here...but I have fun all by myself...too bad everyone misses it. It's good stuff.

Thanks for paying attention to my posts though. It is nice to know you've actually been read...rather than just people knee jerk responding. Because I haven't mentioned parsley in quite a while.

Unless you are getting parsley and valerian root confused...and if so...then I retract the compliment.

I can do that. I have boobs. :gaptooth:


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## tinknal (May 21, 2004)

WhyNot said:


> Such sweet *nothings*.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Except your Mom. Among my fondest memories is Mom telling me "Alan, you're an @zzhole".


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## vicker (Jul 11, 2003)

My mom never called me Alan. God rest her soul.  love ya mom.


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## Guest (Nov 10, 2012)

My mom often mentioned some @zzhole named Alan.


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## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

tinknal said:


> Except your Mom. Among my fondest memories is Mom telling me "Alan, you're an @zzhole".


LOL Tink. You latched onto the one thing I wasn't talking about.

LMAO ahhhhh...if only you weren't married


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## sustainabilly (Jun 20, 2012)

There're no vocal inflections, no body language, no chance for the speaker to gauge the receptiveness of her listener. Of course I don't see all you are saying. Tedious is a b--ch huh? Intuition can lead one down a path, but a guiding hand will get you home.


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## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

Well then bring it home, mister.

Or don't.

But for cripes sake...stop with the teasing if it ain't goin no wheres.


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## WhyNot (Jun 21, 2011)

I was a voted in bipartisan politician from where I came from.

No fooling. Bipartisan. Actual and for real.

And people freaking voted for me. I didn't even have a campaign slogan except...well you know...I'm running so...like vote for me and what not, I have dreams.

So there I was...voted in...all official...and I did official stuff. And people had to report to me...and I had to report to people but then again that is not as important as the fact people reported to me...because if it wasn't important then I wouldn't be american and what not.

So I led an entire community. No fooling. Just me...well no...me and 9 other people...but you know...I was in there.....and the day I knew I was completely...............COMPLETELY different than everyone else that was "ruling" with me on the town council....was the day I suddenly blurted out....

"RICHARD! ---- or get off the pot...do it or just stop...this has been going on long enough."

And then I realized what I said. And everyone else realized what I said. And then I realized it was all voice recorded and goes in public record for anyone to find in my entire life and beyond.

And that was when I realized I'm a really ----ty politician.

Just sayin.


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## tinknal (May 21, 2004)

zong said:


> My mom often mentioned some @zzhole named Alan.


Totally not surprised at this post. Thanks for reaffirming my beliefs about you.


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## tinknal (May 21, 2004)

WhyNot said:


> I was a voted in bipartisan politician from where I came from.
> 
> No fooling. Bipartisan. Actual and for real.
> 
> ...


Reminds me of the old quote about someone actually qualified to serve as Presi---- could never get elected to the job.


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## Guest (Nov 10, 2012)

tinknal said:


> Totally not surprised at this post. Thanks for reaffirming my beliefs about you.


I suppose I'm supposed to take some offense, but mostly I'm confused because it makes no sense. But then again, I didn't imagine it would. Still, there's a first time for everything.


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## Prismseed (Sep 14, 2009)

My parents, happily married for 30+ years met on a blind date. My mother suspects it was more meant to be a joke on the two of them but they hit it of fabulously. She went home that first night and told my grandmother she would marry him if he asked. 6 months later wedding bells.


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## starjj (May 2, 2005)

katydidagain;6252284]Apparently pot is legal now where you live also. I had an EX husband who didn't have facial hair but did often have food on his lip; Bill had facial hair but rarely had a crumb in his "locks". Yes, I've had 2 very major relationships; I don't confuse them but apparently you do. Both were charming gigolos; neither were very pretty. Bitter? Nope. Burnt? Twice yes and done playing with fire though I do have offers. Will I buy another lottery ticket? Nope. You can have all of them. Happy?[/QUOTE]


Forgive me when you referred to an EX I was thinking it was the latest EX boyfriend. Thinking it was the freshest one and you weren't going too far into your past. My bad lol. Interesting you are always referring to the many offers you have also. Bitter is just one step up from burnt but it is a short step. I don't need pot to see it.

Think I will play the lottery tonight I may just get lucky:banana:


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## rileyjo (Feb 14, 2005)

If the situation is having dinner at someone's house, of course you should be clean.
If you wear a beard, bring a clean beard. They are not strangers, they know who you are.

This week, I called Fordson Major and asked him to meet me at the big city off leash dog park. He arrived in his farm chore clothes, I went there straight from work in dressy clothes...who looked silly? Me.

A bit later, we decided to go grab a quick lunch. Who looked out of place in the restaurant? The farmer did.

It is all context. If I invited someone to dinner and they showed up straight off the tractor, I'd be fine with it. As long as they didnt smell like the pigpen, they'd be welcome.


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## Shygal (May 26, 2003)

katydidagain said:


> Apparently pot is legal now where you live also. I had an EX husband who didn't have facial hair but did often have food on his lip; Bill had facial hair but rarely had a crumb in his "locks". Yes, I've had 2 very major relationships; I don't confuse them but apparently you do. Both were charming gigolos; neither were very pretty. Bitter? Nope. Burnt? Twice yes and done playing with fire though I do have offers. Will I buy another lottery ticket? Nope. You can have all of them. Happy?


If you would admit to yourself that yes you are bitter, I think you could start letting go of it. Everyone sees it but you, and that is not being snarky. You even figured a thread about GARLIC was about you. 

I remember when you first were with Bill too, and the post was right about you, he was charming, he was wonderful, he was amazing.


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## Shygal (May 26, 2003)

WhyNot said:


> LOL Tink. You latched onto the one thing I wasn't talking about.
> 
> LMAO ahhhhh...if only you weren't married


Just fyi, Tink is the wife, Al is this guy  Tink n' Al

Who probably hasnt warmed up to me at all :gaptooth:


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## tinknal (May 21, 2004)

Shygal said:


> Just fyi, Tink is the wife, Al is this guy  Tink n' Al
> 
> Who probably hasnt warmed up to me at all :gaptooth:


Actually tink is the ex-wife, It just sort of became my online identity and I never bothered to change it.

Even though you drive me nuts sometimes I have warmed up to you.


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

Shygal said:


> If you would admit to yourself that yes you are bitter, I think you could start letting go of it. Everyone sees it but you, and that is not being snarky. You even figured a thread about GARLIC was about you.
> 
> I remember when you first were with Bill too, and the post was right about you, he was charming, he was wonderful, he was amazing.


Yes, he was charming; I thought he was nothing like my EX or my father. I was wrong. (BTW, my father adored him and my EX which, in hindsight, is a huge red flag.)

I'm not bitter; I am very angry at myself for being taken once again. I believe that what goes around comes around (lots already has for the "men" in my life); they'll never get it but that's not my problem. I don't do relationships well so I'm done playing with fire. I know it drives you all nuts that men find me attractive; heck it drives me even nuttier. 

I don't hate men; I don't appreciate being objectified. Do not come to me under the guise of helping and tell me to "get back on the horse"; if you truly cared about me you would respect my desire to never ride again. Scolding me about how "we're not all alike and you have to trust someone" is also not a sign of caring--not about my feelings. That comment proves them to be just like men under whose thumbs I've lived.

Currently I have 4 very good friends of the XY persuasion (1 dates back to 1981); I hold them dear because they consider me just another guy and I like that. If I were truly in a spot (and I may be in a week or so), I'll let my best friend know and ask for help; he's offered it but I wanted to do this on my own. Hope I can. But I know he and his wife (also a good friend) will be there for me.


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## Groene Pionier (Apr 23, 2009)

Tell them the activity of the night is painting the kitchen and eachother...

:gaptooth:



lazyBum said:


> Last night my friend invited me to dinner for tonight. Then he says his girlfriend is coming. Now his girlfriends friend is coming too. I have a feeling they are trying to set me up with somebody. I dont like being set up. I always do something to make the girl mad, or she thinks im weird. Then she gets mad at whoever set us up. Then the person who set us up is mad at me for doing something stupid and ruining a sure thing.
> 
> I'm wondering if i should shave. I haven't shaved in a few months. But i always screw things up and i cleaned myself up for a date that goes nowhere. I think from now on i wont shave or clean the house until the third date. So those things will never get done because i havent got past a first date in years.


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## lazyBum (Feb 27, 2012)

I decided to shave. It was long enough to get in my mouth, so it was time for it to go anyways. 

I'm not really interested in her though. She's a few years older than me, been married and divorced, and a little bigger then I prefer. Kind of cute, but I just didn't feel any attraction. And everybody just played with their phones texting other friends during dinner. My friend keeps asking if I want her number, and I tell him no every time. And he says he is going to give her my number. I appreciate their effort, but they don't know what type of woman I'm looking/waiting for. 

Honestly going out like this makes me feel more alone than staying home being a recluse.


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## Spotted Owl (Jul 5, 2010)

I have two questions.

Why do others feel the need and that they have the right to "set up" people. When/if it has been made clear that it is not wanted? I have been here and I don't like it one little bit, it doesn't happen anymore. Ask yes, set up in such a fashion as I understand this situation to be, I don't understand. Why do we allow it to happen in our lives?

Why is someone's appearance supposedly a gateway into their life and life choices?

I can guarantee, with absoluteness that I am not even close to anything mental. Now with that said, I am called Grizz and Sasquatch at work because of my facial hair. [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFXKHOcW1A4&feature=plcp]Holberg falling 2 - YouTube[/ame] this happens also to be what I do as much as possible, hair not so long and the beard fuller and sometimes more. By the end of the cold season it can be somewhat long, my clothes are not always the best, depends on what I have time for, at times, time can be at a premium(like everyone). I will say that I always start clean, showered, teeth, clothes washed, combed or brushed, sometimes painted nails too. 

What is wrong with accepting someone for who and what they are. Why do folks seem/feel the need to dive into things that aren't there? I put things at face value, what you see or I tell you is what you get, and I see/take people the same but, inevitably there is someone who wants to dive in deep and "help". WHY? I try to get this through peoples heads and know I'm not the only one, I like who and what I am, leave me alone, if you can't accept this then don't and move on, leave me alone, if you want me to change then you don't want ME.


WHY?



Owl


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## Guest (Nov 11, 2012)

Yes. I remember something about "be judged...by the content of their character." Guess if you are scruffy, you best keep on dreaming. According to some peoples' standards.


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## Shygal (May 26, 2003)

katydidagain said:


> I know it drives you all nuts that men find me attractive; heck it drives me even nuttier.


Are you kidding me???? :rotfl:
ound: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: ound:
I can't find enough laughing hysterically while in disbelief that you actually said and think that, icons!! :rotfl:

Sorry dear, but all men don't find you attractive, and nothing about you drives me nuts, and I cant believe you think it drives me nuts, or that all men find you attractive! :rotfl:


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

HA this is driveing my nuts nuts lol


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

Shygal said:


> Are you kidding me???? :rotfl:
> ound: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: ound:
> I can't find enough laughing hysterically while in disbelief that you actually said and think that, icons!! :rotfl:
> 
> Sorry dear, but all men don't find you attractive, and nothing about you drives me nuts, and I cant believe you think it drives me nuts, or that all men find you attractive! :rotfl:


I didn't say all men find me attractive; I said some do and that bothers me. You need to go live your life and get out of mine. Truly. Move on.


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## Shygal (May 26, 2003)

katydidagain said:


> I didn't say all men find me attractive; I said some do and that bothers me. You need to go live your life and get out of mine. Truly. Move on.


Then stop posting to me :rotfl:

You said "men". Not "some", but "men" 
And nothing about you drives me nuts, dear. I'm not in your life and have no desire to be, because I like being happy


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

Shygal said:


> Then stop posting to me :rotfl:
> 
> You said "men". Not "some", but "men"
> And nothing about you drives me nuts, dear. I'm not in your life and have no desire to be, because I like being happy


Gotcha. Putting you and your BF on ignore. Have a good life and do be happy.


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## Marshloft (Mar 24, 2008)

Shygal said:


> Are you kidding me???? :rotfl:
> ound: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: ound:
> I can't find enough laughing hysterically while in disbelief that you actually said and think that, icons!! :rotfl:
> 
> Sorry dear, but all men don't find you attractive, and nothing about you drives me nuts, and I cant believe you think it drives me nuts, or that all men find you attractive! :rotfl:


 I thought beauty was in the eye of the beholder.
GH


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

Marshloft said:


> I thought beauty was in the eye of the beholder.
> GH


Thank you kind sir.


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## Shygal (May 26, 2003)

Well its about time lol
But I don't have a bf here, I guess you are mistaken again.


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## lazyBum (Feb 27, 2012)

From beards to cat fight. Rawr!


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## rkintn (Dec 12, 2002)

lazyBum said:


> From beards to cat fight. Rawr!


Always something for everyone here at ST


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## FarmboyBill (Aug 19, 2005)

Keep pestering SG. Dont let up lol.


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## Shygal (May 26, 2003)

Oh but she isnt pestering me, shes giving me a source of amusement


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## naturelover (Jun 6, 2006)

lazyBum said:


> I decided to shave. It was long enough to get in my mouth, so it was time for it to go anyways.


Yay! That's the ticket. Good for you! :thumb: :happy: 



lazyBum said:


> I'm not really interested in her though. She's a few years older than me, been married and divorced, and a little bigger then I prefer. Kind of cute, but I just didn't feel any attraction. *And everybody just played with their phones texting other friends during dinner.* My friend keeps asking if I want her number, and I tell him no every time. And he says he is going to give her my number. I appreciate their effort, but they don't know what type of woman I'm looking/waiting for.
> 
> Honestly going out like this makes me feel more alone than staying home being a recluse.


That's too bad that people were texting during dinner. I think it's a shame when people allow their cyber life to interfere with their real social life and real life interactions in society.

Regarding going out and not feeling alone, there's other ways to socialize and meet people besides going to people's houses for dinner or friends trying to introduce you to others for what they think is your own good. One option is to get involved with what's going on in the community on a volunteer basis. That way you're staying social and you can make lots of new friends but nobody will be expecting you to get cozy with anyone or trying to start a romantic relationship. If it does happen that's all fine and dandy, but if it doesn't happen then at least you're still being social and involved with other people. That is, if you want to be social.



Spotted Owl said:


> I can guarantee, with absoluteness that I am not even close to anything mental. Now with that said, I am called Grizz and Sasquatch at work because of my facial hair. Holberg falling 2 - YouTube this happens also to be what I do as much as possible, hair not so long and the beard fuller and sometimes more. By the end of the cold season it can be somewhat long, my clothes are not always the best, depends on what I have time for, at times, time can be at a premium(like everyone). *I will say that I always start clean, showered, teeth, clothes washed, combed or brushed, sometimes painted nails too. *


If that's you in that video then theres nothing wrong with the way you look and are dressed, and you look very wholesome and healthy and strong. For that type of rough outdoor work it's very practical anyway to have a full protective beard. And if as you say when you're socializing you always start out clean and tidied up, that's great and that's all that anyone should reasonably expect from someone.

.


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## Marshloft (Mar 24, 2008)

katydidagain said:


> Thank you kind sir.


 Sometimes I wished I was Sidney Poitier.
To have a letter signed:
* "To Sir With Love"*
would make my knees buckle.


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

FarmboyBill said:


> Keep pestering SG. Dont let up lol.


Sorry but I put her on "cover my ears and say lalalalalala". I've had enough of her.


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## katydidagain (Jun 11, 2004)

Marshloft said:


> Sometimes I wished I was Sidney Poitier.
> To have a letter signed:
> * "To Sir With Love"*
> would make my knees buckle.


Loved that movie! Lulu was such a character.


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## Shygal (May 26, 2003)

Oh we know you didn't because you couldn't stand not to see what I have to say about you.....besides it doesn't prevent me from seeing what you say LoL


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## tinknal (May 21, 2004)

All the people who annoy the heck out of me on this board are tearing each other apart with no help from me! Choking up.................... "D


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