# 10 days until you are homeless, what to put in your backpack?



## cast iron (Oct 4, 2004)

This a really long post so you better get some coffee or back out of the thread right now. 

I will provide some summary info for context. I know some of the following will sound cold hearted, but there is a bunch of back-story to the situation.

Situation:

A relative has a friend who may very well be on the street in 10 calendar days. My wife and I have not met this women and can only go on the information the relative shares with us. 

Lisa is a 31 year old single female, no children.

She lives in mother-inlaw apartment attached to a single family residence in an ok part of a large city.

She has an eviction notice in hand for 10 days from today. Said eviction notice had been postponed for 14 days once already via partial financial help from someone.

She is two full months behind in rent and her car was repossessed 2 or 3 months ago. The landlord has been lenient and understanding but his patience is running thin. However, there is also apparently some indication that he may be having trouble finding another tenant for the place.

She has minimal possessions in terms of furniture and such. She has a basic cellphone, a cat (relative is going to take cat for the short-term, and the cat will likely be taken to a shelter), and $100-$150 to her name. She is of course very stressed given the situation and at times is an emotional wreck. She is no stranger to living on a shoe-string budget but has never been homeless on the city streets.

She has been unemployed for the last several months but has been actively seeking employment. Goes to library for internet, rides bus to put in applications at businesses etc. Two days ago she secured a job at a fast-food joint that is within walking distance of her apartment. Unknown if full-time or part-time but I suspect part-time. She has completed orientation and is awaiting first schedule of hours.

She has recently got on the waiting list for two emergency shelters and she has to call-in every week to remain on said list. Unknown at this time if the wait is two weeks, two months, or longer.

She has a relative that lives in the area but he is unable to provide any financial support and his new wife is unwilling to provide housing support (long story). Said relative has allowed her to use part of his storage unit for her stuff. Beyond that she said one friend will let her stay at their apartment 'for a couple of days'. As far as I know she has no other family, either here, or anywhere in the states.

The internet says overnight lows for this city range from 28-38 degrees and daytime highs 36-45, and being western WA there is always a chance of rain it seems.

I feel bad for my relative and I think they are in denial about what it really means to be out on the streets, and that this may very well happen to their friend. Said relative certainly doesn't have any experience with this kind of thing. It's unknown at this time whether relative is able and/or willing to provide further direct financial assistance. Despite how the situation got to this point, I have this overwhelmingly bad feeling about how this thing may end, and my wife and I feel like doing something more to help out, though not necessarily housing or any more direct financial assistance.

I typically don't like to put this level of personal information out there, but I feel like I'm flying blind in this deal as to how to help, as I've been blessed and have never been homeless. Further, it's been quite a number of years since I've even set foot in a major city. 

I'm pretty confident surviving at our home or at our remote property for a period of time given our preparedness level, but I don't know what it's like to be homeless in a big city. My vision of it is not a pretty one. She was going to walk to the fire department and ask them where the safer parts of the city were to sleep at night. Meaning in parks, under bridges etc. So if any of you know someone who has been through this and can share some strategies for survival it would be appreciated.

So, with that background I have two thoughts.

1) Help our relative help their friend make-up a backpack of provisions that she can take take with her when the day comes. I have a high quality maxpedition day pack that can be used. I assume that in this situation a person doesn't want to be hauling around a full sized hiking backpack? On the other hand you are not going to fit a sleeping bag in a daypack, so I don't know.

One day you will be leaving your home and never coming back. You may or may not have a place to sleep that night, and if you are lucky enough to get into a shelter you are likely only able to stay a certain length of time, and some of the shelters require you to leave during the daytime. What do you put in your backpack?
- hat
- gloves
- notepad/pen
- pepper spray
- flashlight
etc... 

2) One thing I sense from talking to my relative is the overwhelming amount of stress this situation is creating, and understandably so. It seems to me that in times of severe stress, fear takes over and clarity of thought is difficult if not impossible at times. She should be using the remaining 10 calendar, 6 business days to dry-run scenarios for the inevitable as best possible. I'd like to make a list of these things to give to my relative that may help with some clarity of thought and direction. And yes, I know, this is part of preparedness and should have been done long ago. I get that, but the situation is what is at this time. And indeed, I am also aware that it may very well be too late, but one must try.

For example, know what the bus routes are between the shelters, work, the library, the storage unit and other locations that may need accessed.

Questions arise for example, how will she manage the clothing situation? Do you carry two sets of clothes and launder one set per week at the laundromat?

I have been doing some internet surfing with regards to social services and such and I'm amazed at how internet centric the help information is. I'm not sure how many newly homeless have reliable access to the internet. I know that public library's can and are used for such access, though I've heard some pretty bad things about the wait for an open computer and the bullying that takes place while trying to get an open computer.

I have provided her a print out of the various social services phones numbers that I could find for the area, but here again, I have no practical experience with this type of thing.

The other thing that has become clear is the absolute importance of having a phone in regards to communication with the shelters and social services, job leads, setting an alarm to wake up in time for work, and simply calling for emergency help if needed. So the question arises, how does one charge the phone? Can you just plug it into an outlet at the library? I don't think the fast food place would allow her to plug her phone in while at work, in fact I'm not even sure they would allow her to bring her backpack in at all.

These are the kinds of things that I've been thinking about, and I'm sure there are many other things to be considered given this situation?

Thanks


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## Pelenaka (Jul 27, 2007)

She needs to have a message phone which is someone who can accept messages for her or make a call on her behalf. Years ago when I didn't have a home phone & before cells, my sitter was my message phone since I saw her just about every day. This will also assure that someone has had contact with her on a daily basis.
As to charging I'm sure that if she asks the manager it won't be an issue. BTW @ my local library branch it's not uncommon to see all manners of electronic gadgets plugged in. 

~~ pelenaka ~~


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## SquashNut (Sep 25, 2005)

She still has 10 days to keep trying not to to be out on the street. It's not a place you want to be beleive me. And i can imajine even if you found all the shelters, they may not have a place for her every night. Which means she may litterly be sleeping on the street.
So if i were her i would just keep trying every possibility. It's cold out there.


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## Cabin Fever (May 10, 2002)

I would never let a friend live on the streets or in shelters. Why doesn't your relative just invite her in until she gets on her feet. Or aren't they really that good of friends?


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## cast iron (Oct 4, 2004)

Cabin Fever said:


> I would never let a friend live on the streets or in shelters. Why doesn't your relative just invite her in until she gets on her feet. Or aren't they really that good of friends?


They aren't really that good of friends, though relative still has that option maybe, or more likely helping pay another months rent, again. If landlord is willing, and if relative has the money to do so. It's been a long road coming.


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## logbuilder (Jan 31, 2006)

What city is she in?


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## InvalidID (Feb 18, 2011)

Instead of help with rent how about a cheap van or something similar? A $500 van can be home for a single person in the city, and you have the option of parking it almost any where. 

I know there is the insurance issue, but if I was broke and homeless I think I'd risk it.


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## Danaus29 (Sep 12, 2005)

I have to agree with InvalidID. Even if the van was a junker as long as it was parked someplace safe she could use it as a temporary home. Even if it could be driven from Wal-Mart to Wal-Mart it would work. 
You can use the outlets at many stores and fast food places. Even our local Meijer has a dining area with a couple tables close to outlets. 
I will be praying for your relatives friend.


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## acde (Jul 25, 2011)

I use to leave my car unlocked for a homeless teen, Had a cousin rent a storage unit for shelter. Phone could be good alarm for job. salvation army maybe?


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## olivehill (Aug 17, 2009)

I'm just going to assume you've considered all other options/avenues and go with the backpack angle. 

I'd want: 
Pepper Spray -- probably a couple of things of it. The ones on keychains from sporting goods stores are great because they're convenient to loop onto a finger and keep at the ready when walking (or sleeping) alone. 

A Mylar Blanket. 

Baby Wipes, for quick and easy cleaning. They make travel packs that would be perfect. Maybe with a few refill packs. 

Compact, Calorie Dense Foods that aren't heavy to carry. Protein bars, Single Serving Peanut Butters, String Cheeses, those foil-pack tunas, maybe some hard candies for a little something extra. 

A sturdy re-usable water bottle. One with a climber's clip on the lid can be attached to the outside of the pack so as not to take up precious space inside. 


Toothpaste. 

Matches. 

A utility knife. 

Several pair of socks. Nothing makes you colder than wet feet. 

A good, warm hat. Most body heat is lost through the head. Or so they say. 

Good warm gloves. 

Really good, thick lotion. Cold is going to chap her skin, splits result in open wounds which result in infections. 

Good lip balm for the same reason. 

Emergency contact cards. One for in her stuff and one for on her person. If something should happen the authorities need to know who to contact. I have a homeless uncle -- who has been for decades and chooses to be -- and the hospitals have used the info to call my aunt on a number of occasions. 

I'm sure there's stuff I'm forgetting and others I don't know about since I have no experience with this either.


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## mpillow (Jan 24, 2003)

is there a 24hr gym around? (shower heat hand wash clothes)
Love the van idea...

rehab if she's a druggy

camping supplies and personal protection stuffs (pepper spray, stick, knife)

if she can get the net she can make some money at *swagbucks *(paypal payout or amazon or kmart or home depot or lowes or CVS or sears.....)

shameless plug www.swagbucks.com/refer/misspillow (its easy, fun and effective....$25 to $50 a month is easy)


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## jamala (May 4, 2007)

I know you can get a cell phone charger that is solar from amazon. Someone would have to order it for her and have it delivered to their home for her. If your family doesn't want her in their home do they have a backyard she could pitch a tent in? Or maybe a nearby campground, we have one that charges a few bucks a night near us and several homeless have tents set up for a few weeks.


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## Elffriend (Mar 2, 2003)

In the city near us many churches open overnight to homeless people during the winter. Every homeless shelter knows the schedule of which churches are open on which nights so they can direct overflow homeless to those churches.

Some of the community centres have shower facilities and can be a place for people to hang out during the day. Some of them have clothing rooms or large closets where anyone can go in and take whatever they need from the donated clothing.

Even if she can't get into a shelter, she should be asking them what resources are available. The people who work there will know.


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## stamphappy (Jul 29, 2010)

I wonder how much she was being charged for the Mother In Law Apartment? I ask because what about her renting a room from someone close to her new job? A place that's less expensive than the MIL apartment. I just checked Craig's List for Seattle and there are tons of rooms for rent starting from $200 a month. Maybe a collection could be taken at your work, your wife's work, your relative's work. 

I like the idea of a backyard tent situation until she's on her feet----would you allow her using the kitchen and the bathroom? What about a garage area? 

When we had our RV, Walmart's allowed you to stay overnight for free as long as you asked the manager beforehand and didn't stay longer than 3 days (I think it was 3 days), so definitely the cheapy van would work.


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## cast iron (Oct 4, 2004)

logbuilder said:


> What city is she in?


Renton


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## blufford (Nov 23, 2004)

I wonder if the bus still offers an America pass where that for a set amount you can ride anywhere as much as you want. With a cell phone she could ride and sleep on the bus and clean up at bus stations until she gets a work schedule. At least she would be warm and dry and mostly safe.

http://www.discoverypass.com/using.asp


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## logbuilder (Jan 31, 2006)

Here is an interesting opportunity.

http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/roo/2755492013.html

Free rent plus $950/mo salary ( N.Seattle, Kenmore) (map)
Date: 2011-12-22, 11:39AM PST
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

Live-in companion/personal assistant Needed
Free rent plus $950 per month salary. Call (425) 486-8386 for an interview.

Award winning senior, female, interior designer in physical rehab
seeks to share her beautiful 2 bedroom 2 bath apartment including
fireplace, private laundry, pool and hot-tub.
Person must be mature, responsible and dependable with good moral character.
Needs to be efficient and hygienic (very clean) with
good cooking, homemaking and organizational skills.
Common sense is important!
Non-smoker. Car necessary.
PLEASE - ONLY SERIOUS NEED APPLY.

68th Ave NE at NE 170th Street (google map) (yahoo map)

Location: N.Seattle, Kenmore
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests


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## groundhogII (Nov 6, 2008)

My thoughts,she should head to a warmer climate.She has no kids or close family ties where she is, so why not?Someone could freeze to death while exposed to the daily temp. range the OP mentioned,especially if wet.


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## bee (May 12, 2002)

Ok, I think there may be missing parts to the story.

A 31 year old woman "out on the street" is an attack waiting to happen. She has to sleep sometime and she is only one person..no one to watch her back or stuff. If she is not physically harmed then her things will be stolen. Doubtful she can give the impression of enough strength to diswade most hardened street WOMEN let alone the men.

The things you don't know/ haven't related that bear heavily on her situation include wether she is abusing drugs or alcohol..wether she was in a dependant relationship with a controlling or abusive partner..wether she is a potential danger to anyone that might take her in thru mental imbalance or substance abuse. What was she doing for money when she rented her current place? Is there a security deposit she will get back? What skills does she have..how long has she been on her own without family or partner? Why is she alone? Is she responsible for her current situation(not just bad luck/current economic situation)...

If one was to address only the OP's original question for a bag to take away from the apartment, then I would say at least 2 bags. Don't allow everything to be at risk in one snatch/attack. Keep a back-up bag in a pay/keyed locker and the key in a belt/bra "safe" on her person at all times, along with half her money and duplicate sets of ID.Two sets of clothes..one low key,clean and warm but cheap and one better quality for work/job interviews. Serviceable shoes and plenty of warm socks. Moleskin for blisters.

As was already advised pepper spray..I'd be leary about knives as they can be turned on her. You said she might have as much as 150 dollars when she has to leave. I'd invest in two of the roll up backpack campers pads(one in the locker) as insulation between her and the ground. Wool or wool blend blanket(s)..perhaps one of those 2 wheeled shopping carts that collapse....in a ditch and run situation attackers may let her go to go thru the cart..hard to do with a backpack to unfasten and drop.The hand/face cream and lip balm very good ideas. It is possible she might get larger sizes to have in the locker to fill smaller bottles to have on her. Unless she has a semi-permanent place to "camp" cooking gear is extra weight to move and watch.

Being on the streets is her very last resort..she needs to explore all the other suggestions first. That said is there someone trustworthy (like a clergyman who works with homeless) that can give her tips on street survival? Places to wash, get hot food, avoid as unsafe etc etc; that she being new won't know.

Given the choice I'd head for the woods..but that would work for me better than having to watch out for the 2 legged animals. Certainly a bad situation for her but an interesting exercise in thinking thru urban street survival...

Good luck to her and your friend.


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## chamoisee (May 15, 2005)

From experience:

A small dome tent and a very small tarp to set it up on for when it rains, or to cover it with. The tarp should be green, ideally. Sleeping bag. A campstove is nice but not essential. A P-38 can opener. A small container of dishsoap, regular bar soap, knife fork spoon and sharp hunting knife, preferably HUGE and to be worn on her belt as a deterrent.... toilet paper...several pairs of warm socks. If she has a cell phone that will be a real lifesaver. 

For clothing, you have a few changes of clothing, like 2 or 3, if you are able to wash them, you do. Otherwise, it is actually cheaper to buy them at a thrift store than it is to wash them, unless they are nice clothes. If she is going to be looking for employment (hopefully) then she will need interview clothes and stuff to make herself presentable such as a hairbrush, etc.


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## FourDeuce (Jun 27, 2002)

Winter is not the ideal time to try living in a vehicle. You can't run them all the time, and they do tend to get very cold when the temperature drops.


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## soulsurvivor (Jul 4, 2004)

Carry a few different sizes of ziploc bags. These will help waterproof items that need to be kept dry such as phone, papers, medications, etc.

Own/wear clothing that has pockets for more ways to keep supplies close and not all in one location.

Headband with LED light attached for hands-free lighting.

Tube of Neosporin and a bottle of skin sealer.

Small pair of sharp scissors and good metal tweezers.

She needs multiple copies of a generic resume to apply for jobs. Focus on strengths and attach a generic cover letter. She needs a mailing address and go on and get address labels that can be quickly stuck on applications, documents that need her info for possible contact.

Now, today, check at the state government sites for job openings. Go on and apply for everything. Do the same with local government. 

Same with any government assistance programs, even if she doesn't think she'll qualify. Never hurts to try and sometimes comes through when you least expect it.

Consider getting a fold-up scooter/skate board to help with traveling greater distances more quickly.

Stash backpacks with friends, put into lockers at the bus terminal, etc. 

See if anyone has an old car/truck/van sitting that would allow her access in an emergency for additional cover.

If she's working fast food talk to the manager to see if can work out a deal that allows her to eat meals there at a reduced cost.


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## Jerngen (May 22, 2006)

Contact the churches in the area. 

Even in my beloved rural city in Michigan's U.P. (Marquette) there is a program called "Room at the Inn" where a different church takes turns each week hosting the local homeless overnight and feeding them a meal. 
They work together to find them work and shelter. 

Surely there are such programs in more urban cities???


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## Jena (Aug 13, 2003)

Goodwill provides a message phone service for people here. They get a number they can put on applications that goes to their own voice mail box. They can access the voicemail from any other phone.

I would think that a backpack would end up stolen, unless it looks like junk that isn't worth stealing. Some top of the line things, full of new stuff, might end up being a target.

It appears to me that there is far more to this story. People who have no one to help them typically end up in that position because of their own actions. There are lots of them out there. Users, thieves, drug and alcohol abusers...

I have helped people out before in various capacities, but I have also thrown someone out at 2am after I discovered they were stealing from me when I had shared my very meager resources with them!

I work the overnight shift in a 24 hour restaurant. We have our a couple homeless guys who spend a lot of time there on very cold winter nights. They are clean enough to not be offensive to anyone, are unobtrusive and simply wait out the night drinking coffee.


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## springvalley (Jun 23, 2009)

Jena said:


> I work the overnight shift in a 24 hour restaurant. We have our a couple homeless guys who spend a lot of time there on very cold winter nights. They are clean enough to not be offensive to anyone, are unobtrusive and simply wait out the night drinking coffee.


That is so nice of them to allow this, what a good idea. > Marc


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## Mid Tn Mama (May 11, 2002)

If Renton is a college town, the library may be open 24/7. If not, then sleep during the day and move/walk during the cold nights.

Definately layered clothes to keep warm, glove warmers and gloves.

I would also look into live in help so she could have a place to live but still have her job at McDs.

Farms sometimes have places to stay while helping.


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## InvalidID (Feb 18, 2011)

For the van living idea I can pass along a few tips and tricks I picked up when I did it as a youth. Now it was different when I was doing it as I did it on purpose, adventure and all that.

If the van isn't insulated you can go to all the places that give away free clothes. You take all the clothes you won't/can't wear a tuck them into the walls between the 'studs'. Buy yourself some luan (super cheap) and a tube or two of liquid nails. Bam, you've insulated the inside of your van for about $15. When I did it I used the pink foam board instead, but clothes would work just fine.

Hand a sheet or curtain or something over the front, behind the front seats. If you aren't up there you don't need to hold in the heat there, and the windshield and windows will only suck away the heat anyway. Also better that people can't look inside and see a woman asleep. Cops will hassle her, and criminals and the like...

A cheap tent heater is your friend. A camp stove is even better. Just because you live in a van doesn't mean you don't want to eat hot food and have coffee in the morning. Just having warm water to wash up in and a cup of coffee in the morning can make all the difference in life. Frankly, once you have the van, coffee, and warm water to wash up in it's kinda fun.

Keep a window cracked at all times when you are inside. The condensation will build up and ruin all your stuff if you don't, and will create mold. You will also end up much colder once you're moist... Just sayin. If you have a tent heater inside you'll want to crack a window anyway.

Most importantly, meet the local bums. You'll be surprised how friendly these guys are and once they know you most will keep an eye out on you and your stuff. These folks tend to have a small community of their own, and a lot of them are really good people. Surprisingly so.

Not only will these guys watch out for her and her stuff but they'll have a ton of tips and tricks to teach her. If you want to meet people that are really good at surviving, are really clever at making due, and are amazingly good repurposers, meet the local bums. Not generally the sleeping on the sidewalk bums mind you, but the van living and under bridge living crowd. A lot of those folks really are pretty clever and interesting.


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## SquashNut (Sep 25, 2005)

we kinda did some thing like that, but we used card board to line the walls of our camper shell of our pick up..


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## emdeengee (Apr 20, 2010)

If there is really no one who will invite this woman in until she finds her feet (no room at the Inn) then I would make sure she has a one person tent and a sleeping bag. There is no guarantee that there will be room at the shelters either. With luck she will find a park where she can sleep.


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## SquashNut (Sep 25, 2005)

Look what happened to the women at OWS, I don't think I would sleep at a Park in a tent. She either needs to find a live in job or an apartment within walking distance or a near a bus to get to her job.


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## emdeengee (Apr 20, 2010)

I used to do the books for a very large orchardist. He would provide housing for his summer workers (mostly University students). The housing he provided was made out of truck trailers. He bought them cheap, cut windows and doors in them and built cubicles along the walls. Two bunks to a cubicle and I think there were 5 or 6 cubicles to a trailer. He could move them from one orchard to another. He provided portable toilets and showers and electric heaters. One winter when we had a very cold spell the town ran out of shelter beds so he allowed them to use his truck trailers. The town bought their own for emergencies in the future.


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## emdeengee (Apr 20, 2010)

SquashNut said:


> Look what happened to the women at OWS, I don't think I would sleep at a Park in a tent. She either needs to find a live in job or an apartment within walking distance or a near a bus to get to her job.


Who wants to sleep in a park in a tent? No one but there are people sleeping in parks and allies and on sidewalks everywhere. They are not safe. That is the reality of the homeless and why so many have dogs.


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## cast iron (Oct 4, 2004)

Checking in. Thanks very much for the replies. I'm writing some things out as my relative is stopping by today and says he has an update on the situation. Your kindness and information is very helpful and the information plus some other I've come up with off the internet will be forwarded. Will update when I learn more.

As far as more to the story, there certainly is, as I said in the OP. Some poor life decision(s) that help lead to the situation as it is today? Absolutely, such as waiting until the very last minute before facing reality and trying to get housing help/ shelters etc. Living in a state of denial as to the severity of the situation? Yes, that is my belief. Some of this is greatly frustrating to me because I am a big believer in the concept of a hand-up vs a hand-out. But the situation is what it is at this point, and I do believe she is putting forth honest effort at this point from what I'm told.

I think the MIL apartment rent is $700 or $750 which includes all utilities, is on the bus-line and walking distance to her new job.


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## mpillow (Jan 24, 2003)

Wayne I have similar family members that left ME for WA and now trying for disability and getting welfare....its sad to me they choose to be *victims instead of victors*...

But our society has taught people from a young age that beggars can be choosers and its wrong...take those poor kids...toys for tots gives them all kinds of fancy stuff when basic need of food/shelter and warm clothes is all they "need" the rest is just getting them addicted to welfare....and denial....look at all those people that bought houses they could not afford and filled credit cards up repeatedly....the reality of their parents finances were never seen as they got shiny new toys at Christmas no matter who paid for them...


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## SquashNut (Sep 25, 2005)

It's for sure Wa state is getting to the Place to be if you want to live for cheap or free. So she is in the right place. If she asks the questions in the right place she can get some help.
part of her problem si $750 is way too much for the apt she has, no wonder she got behind.


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## soulsurvivor (Jul 4, 2004)

Maybe she doesn't have computer skills. If not someone could give her a crash course so she can navigate online for job searches, that could prove helpful. Better yet, someone could go on and get her online to apply for any local companies that are accepting online job applications. She needs an online email service that can be checked daily, such as mail.com or other free emails. I think most of those require a home email to set up the initial service, but after that it's just a matter of checking the email on a regular schedule and keeping the password updated.

If she googles Renton Washington jobs there are pages of job agencies, job openings, and other job searches that can help. She needs to go on and register with the state job services through government.


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## nchobbyfarm (Apr 10, 2011)

Be careful who you allow to move in even for a short time. It is harder to get someone out after a favor than if they rent on a lease. Legal issues are different in each state especially if they know the law better than you.


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## cast iron (Oct 4, 2004)

Better get some more coffee. 

Relative stopped by and said that Lisa still awaits her uniform and first weeks work hours from her new job. She was told the wait for a shelter would likely be two months. I was impressed that my relative has been thinking this thing through and I think he has a good understanding of the potential gravity of the situation now, and what his personal line-in-sand is for additional help. He is a young adult with a good heart but little life experience, and currently he only makes a couple dollars more than minimum wage himself. If nothing else, this situation will likely leave a lasting impression on him with regards to the ramifications of certain life decisions, and the fact that many people are literally just a few paychecks away from homelessness. As well as empathy, compassion, etc. He likes to put on a hard exterior at times, but he is a good man. He obviously has some feelings for her given the assistance he has provided to this point.

It sounds like Lisa may be thinking a little more clearly and maybe just a touch more emotionally stable, but is still very stressed of course. She has at least made a list of possible options varying from good to really not so good. It doesnât sound like there is any alcohol or drugs going on, but you can never be sure, particularly since my wife and I have not met her. I have no experience with the drug issue but I have known alcoholics that were very good at hiding the problem. However, it sounds like depression may be an issue. Apparently she was being treated for depression and taking meds prior to losing her last job, at which point she stoped taking the meds for financial reasons. 

Once again Iâd like to thank you all for the input; it has helped put some clarification to the situation and the potential options. From that input and what Iâve been able to glean from the internet, my wife and I made an action item list of things we think Lisa really needs to get on the stick and pursue aggressively, if she is not doing so already. One example is checking into Churches in the area that might offer one-night stays, the need for an address p/o box or something if she ends up on the streets, a message phone or making sure her phone works reliably, room sharing, van, etc. It was a pretty stark and pointed list of items.

Secondly, again based mostly on input from this thread, I made a list of things that should be included in a backpack should she have to hit the streets. I donated one of our good packs and have been putting some of the items in there that we have around here, ziplock bags, hand warmers, and other misc items. My relative is going to add some things that he can get, and then bring both of the lists and the backpack to her, along with some of the room share adds from CL that I printed out. I think seeing these two lists and the backpack helped frame the situation even more for my relative. 

As an aside, as I put this thing together it was interesting to note how much the items had in common, or not, with the get-home-packs we have in our vehicles and the simple bug-out packs we have in the closet. For example, Iâm not entirely sure all of our packs have contact cards in them. I know we each carry contact cards on our person but I canât say with certainty that the packs have a card in them. So I need to make sure our packs are up to snuff next year.

We had a long discussion with relative about many of the ideas discussed in this thread. One example was having her stay in our backyard in a tent. Part of the issue with this is logistics as we are many miles away from where she is at and we live in an unincorporated part of the county, zoned rural, with no bus service. Remember that she has no car, and in terms of getting around, her whole world revolves around the transit buses and walking, and I suppose greyhound and hitchhiking for interstate travel if needed. And to be perfectly frank, both my relative, and my wife and I have reservations about letting her move in here. The concern being she would end up here long-term and not be motivated to establish more appropriate housing going forward. 

Relative feels like if possible itâs best to keep her in her current area at this time. He thinks protecting her new job is of critical importance right now for a number of reasons. She has been beating the street for months, done a number of interviews before finally landing this job. He feels like it provides some structure for her, a sense of purpose, dignity, some income, and a current reference. The room share opportunities typically will not entertain someone with no income. Also found out that she has been a shift manager at the same brand fast food place for several years in the past so this may help her advance. Further, she is familiar with the area, the bus routes, has submitted pending applications to other business in the area, etc.

There are still plenty of issues, her income may not even cover one months rent in her current place, and she still owes $1500 in back rent among other things. She doesnât know how many hours she will get so she doesnât know what type of income she will have, though once she knows her schedule she can look for additional jobs to fill the other hours.

There is some good news on the rent front. Lisa brought proof to the landlord that she just got a job and he apparently is softening up from his previous hard-line requirement of one full months rent plus the full $1500 back rent or you are out in 8 days and I may take you to small claims court for the $1500 stance. He is supposedly willing to look at partial current months rent payment ($350 for two more weeks, maybe) and some sort of payment plan for the $1500. Whether this is because he is having trouble finding another tenant or because she now has a job, or both, I donât know. This information needs to be confirmed and the details hashed out, so my relative is going with Lisa to talk with the landlord himself after he is off work tonight. 

Given all of the above information we have decided to do the following. My relative doesnât have enough money to pay his own December expenses and another month or partial month of her rent. So I have purchased two of his firearms from him. Turns out he had just the two guns Iâve been looking for; who knew such coincidences could occur, eh?  He can buy them back when he has the ability. He looks like he has not slept much in the last two weeks.

This along with a $100 of her remaining $140 will get her an additional full month in her current place. Though I believe he may try to pay a two week partial and another two week payment if needed. Hopefully she will use the time wisely to get settled into the job, figure out all the housing/shelter/assistance options in detail, and come up with a plan for the future beyond the next 30 days. 

She really needs to become a more aggressive advocate for herself in this deal and doggedly pursue the resources that are out there for help. Just in my limited exposure to social services via internet information it seems there is a patchwork of social services with few if any central clearing points. You have county, city, private outfits, Churches etc. all with differing requirements and restrictions, some overlapping, some not, some say they are available one week, yet the next week they are not available. Itâs quite the maze and really requires the individual to exercise disciplined diligence to get help from the system from what I can tell. 

I hope this turns out to be a good decision. Wife says Iâm a big softy in my old age, but I know she was touched in this deal when she called our relative one day and he happened to be at Lisaâs place discussing the situation, who at the time was 2 days from eviction. My wife said she could hear Lisa (obviously upset) in the background repeatedly telling our relative to not forget about her remaining $147 dollars to put towards the rent or a shelter in the calculations that my relative and my wife were discussing over the phone at the time.

The rent does include all utilities and apparently a spotty wireless internet signal as well. This signal and the old laptop she uses make for a difficult time accessing the internet. I have an unused wireless signal ârange extenderâ that I can loan her to help with the signal issue, but I canât find the darn installation disc for the device yet, I know itâs around here somewhere. She really needs to be accessing the internet on an aggressive basis, either at home or at the library, because so much of the resource and job information is on the internet these days. I try to do some research and provide some print-outs of various bits of info but this kind of research and planning needs to be done by someone with knowledge of the area and of the bus routes/transfer points. 

I like the van idea and thatâs the route Iâd likely take should I be homeless in the city, vs. using a shelter, but Iâm not sure thatâs something she could handle. There must be âdown-by-the-river-in-vanâ areas of that city but I have no idea where they would be. I know in the neighboring towns around here there are a number of folks who live in a van or an rv and stay in parking lots of abandoned shopping centers and other areas. They eventually get rousted out in a few days and have to move on to another parking lot but at least they have a roof over their head, heat, cooking facilities.

Thanks again for the help, I appreciate the time taken to post the replies, and know that the information was sincerely helpful in this difficult situation.

Hope you all have a Merry Christmas


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## mpillow (Jan 24, 2003)

wayne...

she can really make some extra money doing the swagbucks thing....this is my 3rd month and I'm up to $150...Amazon sells groceries and everything under the sun...you could help her by joining under her (she'll get search points from you and your wife can join under and help too...5 minutes of search will get 7-50pts usually...450pts is $5 at Amazon a case of 12 chef boyardee canned lasagna is $10 good eats if you are homeless!) 200- 400 pts a day is very doable...(PM me if you need some extra help here) and my pc is 13 yo and I have dial-up...I do go to the library a lot!

see the thread in _work at home forum_ FMI...as well

I still think she'd be safer in the country....do you have a spare shed? an elderly woman in town that needs home help/companionship? Can you post something for her at church? will keep house for lodging or some such?


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## motdaugrnds (Jul 3, 2002)

Wayne, from the information you added after your initial post, it may well be she is having to "learn the hard way". If so, I really feel for her.

As for as how to help her, Olivehill hit it on the nose!

Something to protect herself with, something to clean herself with, something to munch on, some way of brushing her teeth, a good knife, contact information and some warm clothing with a Mylar blanket and some of those "pocket warmers" to place in her pockets to keep her warm as she sleeps.

Of course, if she is "noticed" by another who wants what she has, she won't keep it long unless she has some secure place to sleep. A cheap van would do the trick. Perhaps she could even park it at that fast-food place where she may be working. (She is fortunate to have found work and keeping it is something I would consider a priority!)

If no van to sleep in, she is going to have it real hard. In such case, perhaps you could give her a list of which church is open on which nights that may provide her some safe place to rest and clean up.

Logbuilder has the solution best as it would keep her safe while she saved some money, maybe even to get into some school to better herself. (Lots of money for those wanting to go to school.)

Bee is right on too! Is she actually able to take care of herself? Does she even when she can? Yeah, if it were me, I'ld head for the woods too; however, if I were only 31 that would not lead me to any future prospects. 

WOW great information Mpillow!


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## cast iron (Oct 4, 2004)

The add that logbuilder posted would be a good opportunity except it requires the person to have a vehicle.


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## Bettsann (Feb 12, 2008)

*"I have an unused wireless signal ârange extenderâ that I can loan her to help with the signal issue, but I canât find the darn installation disc for the device yet, I know itâs around here somewhere."*

Most times you can Google the device and will find a link to locate either the download for the installation disc or at least the driver necessary. Just download and make a cdr. Hope that helps. Prayers for Lisa.


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## mpillow (Jan 24, 2003)

wanted to add plasma donations....google it and find a place nearby...upwards of $250 a month


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## Trisha in WA (Sep 28, 2005)

As I have been reading this thread and thinking and seeing more ideas, I wonder if someone might have a cheep Craig's list small RV that could be parked at an RV park for her. If I recall correctly there is such a place on 169 just outside of Renton. I would also imagine there is a bus line right there. It's been several years since I was in that area, so I don't know for sure if that's an option. A small travel trailer would be a good home and should be easy to come by. Park rent isn't normally too bad either. Heck of a lot less then the 750 she's expected to pay not. 

Good luck and God bless your efforts to help.


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## InvalidID (Feb 18, 2011)

Yeah Trish, I lived in an RV for quite some time myself. It wasn't too bad, was cheap, and if I decided I didn't like the neighbors I could leave. I've seen several really cheap trailers on CL so it might be a good option.

One snag could be the age. Parks near the cities are starting to ban RVs more than 10 years old. A real shame, but it's to keep the riff raff away I guess.


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## motdaugrnds (Jul 3, 2002)

I remember when I was 32 (with a child), just got out of Mayo Clinic after having a transplant and applied for financial assistance to attend college (a state university). The university gave me the money for classes and books; also gave me a "stipend" to pay for living expenses. with that stipend I was able to rent an apartment and buy food for the two of us the entire 3-1/2 yrs it took me to graduate with a degree.

Seems to me that would be a safer route for that young lady to go if she is interested at all in getting an education. (There are varied government programs that help with that; and it use to be that if you went into teaching for a 5-yr period after you graduate, you didn't even have to pay back the money for the course work. The stipend was not to be paid back either.)

Maybe she isn't someone who is interested in anything but a fast-foods type of job; but if she is, that is one way to go.


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## Jena (Aug 13, 2003)

It may be possible that this young woman has a serious mental illness. I have a brother with schizophrenia and I appreciate the difficulties that the mentally ill face. The "going off her medication" is a big red flag to me. She may, or may not, be being honest about the extent of her condition, either intentionally or more likely, because she really doesn't see it accurately.

I'd ask her more pointed questions about her past medication use. Is there a doctor around who she used to see? What were the meds she took? Then look them up to see what they are prescribed for. There is a huge difference between taking something like zoloft and zyprexa! This could be a big clue to the extent of her problems. If you can get her back to a doctor who has treated her before, that would be the best situation.

I am suggesting this because if she does have a serious mental issue, that must be addressed in order for her to make use of whatever other help you offer. Depending on the illness, getting a person to comply with treatment can be EXTREMELY difficult, but that ought to be one of the "musts" to be included in her plans. 

It is also possible that there are additional resources for the mentally ill in your area. There could be anything from help with medication costs, group homes with varying degrees of assisted living and other types of help. She could also be eligible for SSI, if she is unable to work. 

Again, getting her back to a doctor who has seen her before would be the best solution as you could find out what she has and what her needs are. She would have to allow you to talk to the doctor, but that information could be invaluable in your attempts to help her. At least you would know if she needs to be taking meds.

Of course, she could have just had a mild depression for which she took some meds, but if her life is in such disarray, I kind of suspect something more serious. Our society really does fail the mentally ill. Services are spotty, inadequate and often non-existent. Contact your local mental health association to find out what services are available in your area.

Good luck and god bless you if she is ill and you are able to help her.


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## motdaugrnds (Jul 3, 2002)

Ditto what Jena said!


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## Trisha in WA (Sep 28, 2005)

InvalidID said:


> Yeah Trish, I lived in an RV for quite some time myself. It wasn't too bad, was cheap, and if I decided I didn't like the neighbors I could leave. I've seen several really cheap trailers on CL so it might be a good option.
> 
> One snag could be the age. Parks near the cities are starting to ban RVs more than 10 years old. A real shame, but it's to keep the riff raff away I guess.


I didn't know that about parks near the cities. That's really a shame. Probably still worth looking into just in case.
We lived in an RV for a year and a half at a park in a rural part of Pierce county. Then again for 6 months on a friends property.


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## kinnb (Oct 23, 2011)

I've been watching this thread like a hawk.
JENA---right on the nose.


> Again, getting her back to a doctor who has seen her before would be the best solution as you could find out what she has and what her needs are. She would have to allow you to talk to the doctor, but that information could be invaluable in your attempts to help her. At least you would know if she needs to be taking meds.
> 
> Of course, she could have just had a mild depression for which she took some meds, but if her life is in such disarray, I kind of suspect something more serious. Our society really does fail the mentally ill. Services are spotty, inadequate and often non-existent. Contact your local mental health association to find out what services are available in your area.


As someone who has been in and through and around and around the system: may I help?
1. SSI--possibly. However, that is not a fast process. Definitely worth checking into, but just to be clear, it will not happen in the time frame most people think it should. Also, SSI and SSDI are two different things. She may be eligible for one or both. 

2. Wayne. If you and the relative can get her to the NEAREST mental health community agency for an intake--they will go get all that information from the last doctor. That will take care of everything the fastest way possible and HIPAA rights are correctly protected--important for mentally ill patients, who may not be ok or indeed very resistant or unhappy (can you blame anyone for this?) with other folks in their business. 

3. If all else fails, she can go in through the ER and have them do an intake her re: the depression and start the ball rolling properly right then and there. This does not sound to me like a prior singular depressive episode at all. She needs some help. Soonest would be best. 

4. Yes--the system fails mentally ill folks more than anyone else. I do not agree with "bailing folks out of mess" as a rule, when they create mess and continually expect to be bailed out, so to speak. However, after reading and re-reading, I pretty much anticipated ("saw it coming") that this was not plain irresponsibility, drugs, drama creation per se or alcohol, BUT mental illness of some sort. She needs help, and now. 

5. Thank you ALL for caring enough to post everything you need in view of helping this woman to safety, in whatever ways possible with whatever means available. I have done this myself, planning out my "kicked to the streets" while going through the SSD process, because it ---- near came down to that. 

I still live like I might be on the street tomorrow and keep that in the forefront of my lifestyle today. I cannot WAIT until I own at LEAST a tiny piece of land with some kind of whatever dwelling (hopefully at least a tiny house) that is all mine and the dog's, where I NEVER have to deal with this again. ever. 

However--bugout and SHTF is fine and I can always deal with that. 
Wayne--if I can be any more help (or not? lol!) feel free to pm me. I hope you all can get her into an intake somewhere fast.


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## BillHoo (Mar 16, 2005)

Jena said:


> It may be possible that this young woman has a serious mental illness. I have a brother with schizophrenia and I appreciate the difficulties that the mentally ill face. The "going off her medication" is a big red flag to me. She may, or may not, be being honest about the extent of her condition, either intentionally or more likely, because she really doesn't see it accurately......


That's a good point.

I once tried to help a friend from high school who was bipolar manic depressives, schizoaffective (these folks are usually very charismatic and friendly - you are drawn in to help them) and on the verge of losing her home.

Her doctor actually yelled at me to stay away. There is a life cycle to the mentally ill. Usually, a well-meaning community will offer them food, and money. This helps them deny their real problem - the need to get help and stay on the medication that keeps them stable. 

My helping her allowed her to continue thinking she didn't need any help.

My friend thought that she was the second coming of Jesus and that God was providing her sustinence - when in reality is was Joe down the street who gave her $20 every now and then, or Lisa next door who gave her leftover food, or Frank who made her a backpack full of goodies.

It takes approximately 10 years for them to realize they have a problem. The community eventually stops supporting them. They go in and out of jail and mental institutions (Thanks to Ronald Reagan, it's no longer illegal to be crazy and the institutions cannot keep you as long as you say you are OK and not a threat to society - but you still have a problem). 

Eventually, they wake up one morning when their brain chemistry is as a rare balance state, and they realize - Hmmm. I've lost my home, my friends, and family, and I'm drifting in and out of jail for self-medicating drug abuses (usually wine and pot). Maybe I do have a problem.

They then somehow get to treatment, learn to stay on their medication and get jobs and a place to live.

Sad, but that's how it works.

It does not work by someone helping them "survive" on the streets.

For a sane person, I have a number of ways they could negotiate an extension in their apartment. I will not post them here. Everyone has good intentions, but this person sounds like they will never get better as long as there is charity from strangers.

As for my friend. Yes. It took the loss of her home and friends, and a couple ins and outs to the local jail and psych ward over the course of 10 years before she pulled herself together and got back on the right meds.


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## Jena (Aug 13, 2003)

There is a fine line between enabling and helping, but it can be found.


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## Danaus29 (Sep 12, 2005)

My dad's parents lived on public lands in a pull-behind camper for a few years while they were between houses. Probably not an option for this lady but one I might take if necessary.


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## GREENCOUNTYPETE (Jul 25, 2006)

if family won't take her in or offer a buss ticket to get back to where the family is, that can take her in , whats the rest of the story???


24 hour health clubs are a good idea , being clean goes a long way to not looking like a vagrant , a few sets of cloths that can be washed at a coin operated laundry
snap fitness was month to month membership back when i belonged 
outlets to charge devices were around , tv's on every machine for entertainment and no problem with being there for hours but it isn't a place to sleep.

a car or better yet a van isn't a bad place to sleep , maybe she can get a van sleep in it and visit the health club every morning and evening to shower and work out.
that might be doable on a fast food jobs pay , and pick up all the hours you can , and maybe more than 1 part time job if you can work 4-5 hours at each job it takes up time in the day , if each job gets you some free or very reduce price food better yet.


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## cast iron (Oct 4, 2004)

Thanks for the replies. It wouldn't surprise me if depression were an underlying issue here. I will forward the info and resources to my relative when he comes by next. I have no idea what her mindset may be, whether she would be open to the suggestion, defensive, or what. Relative will need to decide how to approach her on this, I suspect that money to pay for the doctor will come up, but there may be some social/public service resources available for this as pointed out in this thread. Depending on what's really going on here, at some point she needs to want to help herself for this thing to move forward.

Relative was over for Christmas day and did mention that he told Lisa he could not help anymore (financially). 

I did find one mobile-home/RV park that I will give a call when I have a chance and see if there are any RV openings. Judging from the pictures of the place, age or condition of the RV would not be an issue.


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## Common Tator (Feb 19, 2008)

Wayne, I sent you a PM.


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## Txrider (Jun 25, 2010)

Wayne02 said:


> There is some good news on the rent front. Lisa brought proof to the landlord that she just got a job and he apparently is softening up from his previous hard-line requirement of one full months rent plus the full $1500 back rent or you are out in 8 days and I may take you to small claims court for the $1500 stance. He is supposedly willing to look at partial current months rent payment ($350 for two more weeks, maybe) and some sort of payment plan for the $1500. Whether this is because he is having trouble finding another tenant or because she now has a job, or both, I donât know. This information needs to be confirmed and the details hashed out, so my relative is going with Lisa to talk with the landlord himself after he is off work tonight.


That is what I was going to reply, that if she found a job showing proof of it and keeping the landlord updated might get her some slack in the eviction and he might hold off for a while.

If she shows him pay stubs, schedule, and is up front about expenses most landlords will work with you.


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