# Do You Have a Living Will?



## MoonRiver (Sep 2, 2007)

A living will describes what life-sustaining treatment be withheld or withdrawn if you are unable to make informed medical decisions and are in a terminal or permanently unconscious state.


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## Robotron (Mar 25, 2012)

No, but I need one. I have had a serous medical problem this year. With all I have been through I asked my oldest daughter to be my representative. She is in her third year of medical school. I thought she would be in a better position to understand what was going on. My wife will go into a panic mode and will lock up if a decision is needed. What I found was the daughter said yes but always put off the paperwork no matter how many times I asked. Maybe it wasn’t fair to ask her to do this and maybe she felt that she just wanted to be a daughter. I can understand that. But it still leaves me open for procedures that may or may not be helpful to me in the end game. I can only hope that when the time comes it goes quick. Living in the country is in my favor as it takes time for help to arrive.


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## Alice In TX/MO (May 10, 2002)

Your daughter doesn’t do the paperwork. You do. 

I highly recommend you do it today.


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## Cabin Fever (May 10, 2002)

Yes, we do. There are plenty of internet sites that you can go to that will help you draft a personal living will for free. Then, you can print it and have it notarized. Make copies for the clinic you go to, the hospital were you would most likely be at, and for a close family member(s).


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## hiddensprings (Aug 6, 2009)

Yes, both hubby and I had them done several years ago. We redid our wills at the same time. Just wanted to be prepared since you never know what will happen


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## #1 WV BonBonQueen (Sep 16, 2018)

We have both, but need to redo them too. Changes in people who are named on the Living will, have changed, some have predeceased us, and for our Will his parents are both gone now, and since we have no children we need to change it too. Just wish I could get him to sell it all, and live somewhere else, would make that part so much easier. We had decided that we would leave all our "stuff" to my two nieces, but they were young and now they have their own stuff. I don't want to burden them with more. 
He has no real relatives and I have two sisters who, have their own stuff too, and don't need to be dealing with mine too. lol
The best reason to sell out, go live at our camp until God Calls us. He just don't see it that way. lol I am working on him tho, so maybe?????


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## Robotron (Mar 25, 2012)

I truly think she just doesn’t want the responsibility of it. Though she is more of my mindset on these matters. She doesn’t want to be the “ doctor “ for the family at that time. But somebody does have to make that call. I’m not of a mind that we have a committee discussion for days while I lay in a bed, non functional. I have the paperwork and have been through it. It does require the representative named has to sign off on the responsibility. It takes two witnesses that are not family or medical personnel involved with your care. So, far it hasn’t been required but it does bring comfort when one knows that loose ends are tied up. We will have a discussion later on this. It may have been unfair for me to ask her of that. As I said, maybe she just wants to be a daughter and not a doctor when that time comes. I can understand her feelings and would like to know if that is it. If so, I’m fine with the answer.


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## Alice In TX/MO (May 10, 2002)

You can have a medical directive for the hospital and one for EMS that defines your preferences. Perhaps it's a different document than what you have on hand.

Edited to add: Making those decisions is PART OF being a daughter when the time comes. You can't insulate yourself or her from the cycle of life.


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## 101pigs (Sep 18, 2018)

MoonRiver said:


> A living will describes what life-sustaining treatment be withheld or withdrawn if you are unable to make informed medical decisions and are in a terminal or permanently unconscious state.


Took care of that 20 years ago. My Father and Mother had one made up when they were 65. Sure does prvent a lot of problems later.


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## crehberg (Mar 16, 2008)

I have one, but wifey doesn't. I hope soon she'll decide to "take the leap", especially after everything I went through with my father's illness and death...I know how bad it is WITH one...I'd hate to go through it without one.


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## Wolf mom (Mar 8, 2005)

Robotron, I think your daughter is confusing a Living Will with a Medical Power of Attorney.

With a Living Will, you, as the "patient", decide beforehand what lifesaving procedures you want or don't want done. Medical staff is suppose to follow it. Aside from giving a copy to various people, it should be posted on the back of your kitchen door or the front of the bedroom door - EMT's will give whatever is necessary to sustain life unless they can see the paperwork. They aren't going to look for it or call your Dr....

A Medical Power of Attorney gives the named person the legal right to talk with medical staff and decide for the"patient" what medical stuff - procedures, etc. can be done. This is necessary especially if the patient is incapacitated.

A person actually needs both. 
A Medical Power of Attorney is just for medical things. A General Power of Attorney will suffice, but there are times one would want a different person to be named on the General - or not have a general at all.


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## #1 WV BonBonQueen (Sep 16, 2018)

From all I have read about Medical Power of Attorneys and Living Wills they are separate documents. One gives the power of disconnecting you from all life support, and one says they can't hook you up, thus you don't need a person to tell them to unplug you. 
I have also heard, that each state may be different in the documents and interpret them differently and you should find out about that, from your local Dr. or a hospital. Our hospitals all offer the chance to fill a Living Will out everytime we have any procedure done. I may take them up on it, the next time I have to have something done, like an ultrasound, or colonoscopy. 
We had all of this done a long time ago but like I previously said, people have passed who were on the Living Will, so we need to change them. Now that I think of it, maybe my two nieces would like that responsibility??? I will have to ask them.


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## alida (Feb 8, 2015)

I have a friend who has both and agree with Wolf Mom. My friend did the living will after a stroke which left her in a wheelchair. Her list of what not to do is pasted to the bathroom door AND there is a letter from a psychiatrist and her family Dr. stating that she was in her right mind when composing the list. That letter is posted on the door too. Those letters are important because her mental abilities have declined in the last four years and she would probably not be considered fit to make those decisions now. Her basic living will rule is that if she goes into a seizure or has a heart attack or stroke do NOT call 911. If she is hospitalized now she doesn't want any type of heroic measures. If she's diagnosed with cancer (again),she does not want treatment and so on. 

Her POA (medical) can consult with medical professionals about her health. IE, my friend lives at home now,but in the future she might/will need more care. Her POA can make those decisions. 
Be sure that the person you ask understands what is really involved and really review your wishes with them. I have been a POA, and did have to stand in the hospital and say out loud what I knew the person wanted. (I had written proof). While I know that I followed their wishes, it was a long time before I stopped feeling guilty about doing so.


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## frogmammy (Dec 8, 2004)

You haven't lived if you haven't had your *podiatrist* ask if you have an advance directive on file....

Mon


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## Alice In TX/MO (May 10, 2002)

We were instructed by the hospice people to also have an Out Of Hospital Do Not Resuscitate document.


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## mekasmom (Jan 19, 2010)

I have one. My dh does not. He is afraid to "think about" the end. I have had several strokes. I have recovered well. I can read, write, walk, talk again. But I still am legally blind, although I can see some. You know death is not the worst thing about life. Living with nothing is worse than death. I have seen people strapped to wheel chairs sitting in their own waste and urine for hours. They have no visitors. They have no hope. They are tube fed and nobody actually cares about them. They are simply waiting to die. Everyone dies. That is part of the fall of Adam. But at least we should have the faith to die in body not just mind. Nobody should have to live in horror simply because they are afraid to die. Either the Word of God is real or else God is a liar. We need to have faith that He means what He promised.


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## Robotron (Mar 25, 2012)

Michigan has rolled all the forms into one booklet. You choose the actions you desire. I have attached the pdf for illustration. I think that’s it’s hard for most children and we have five of them. I know if the worst would happen that she would rise to the challenge. She worked the ER while completing her bachelors degree as a scribe. The ER is still an area of interest to her. She is setting up to do a couple of rotations at the hospital that she scribed at, one in the er and another in op/gyn. She is a very steady person and well suited for this.


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## alleyyooper (Apr 22, 2005)

Yes we have all the power papers and trust funds all in one handy pile. A pile for the VA doctor, one for the family doctor, one for the doctor who did my knees, one for the hospital where the knee surgery was done. Along with several extra piles in case we have to see some other doctor.

OH we also carry a pile with us if we travel.
Every place wants one if you say you have them.

 Al


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## crehberg (Mar 16, 2008)

mekasmom said:


> I have one. My dh does not. He is afraid to "think about" the end. I have had several strokes. I have recovered well. I can read, write, walk, talk again. But I still am legally blind, although I can see some. You know death is not the worst thing about life. Living with nothing is worse than death. I have seen people strapped to wheel chairs sitting in their own waste and urine for hours. They have no visitors. They have no hope. They are tube fed and nobody actually cares about them. They are simply waiting to die. Everyone dies. That is part of the fall of Adam. But at least we should have the faith to die in body not just mind. Nobody should have to live in horror simply because they are afraid to die. Either the Word of God is real or else God is a liar. We need to have faith that He means what He promised.


You've got a great viewpoint...it pains me to see families "hang on". At times it seems like nobody knows what to do...hence the need for these type of documents. I guess the lesson is, regardless of the form...do something to have your last wishes spelled out.


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## MoonRiver (Sep 2, 2007)

If you are looking for free forms, try http://www.caringinfo.org/i4a/pages/index.cfm?pageid=3289 and your state bar association web site. In Virginia, there is a state web site where you can upload your forms to make them available to health providers, so check with your state.


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

I don't know for sure if I have a living will or not. I still have the same will my first husband and I did when he was dying. I've been thinking about it a lot lately with my 2 sisters laid up all of a sudden who are younger than me.

I do know that he had a do not resuisitate sp?. wither I had it or not I can't remember. too much going on at the time. I do know that I would rather be dead than hooked up to life support. I must look at it to see what all I have and then take it in to my lawyer and add whatever I need. or make a new one.

I see they are having seminars on dying with dignity or something like that over in Halifax. you pay 180.00. not sure what that's for. I only paid my lawyer 200 for each will. they do mention living will in the ad. my lawyer should be able to do the same thing though. I just think of my son dying before me which is a distinct possibility. then medical professionals would decide what I want.~Georgia


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## Alice In TX/MO (May 10, 2002)

You need to update your will, designate a General Power of Attorney, designate a Medical Power of Attorney, establish an up to date Living Will AND get a Do Not Resuscitate document done.


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## MoonRiver (Sep 2, 2007)

Alice In TX/MO said:


> You need to update your will, designate a General Power of Attorney, designate a Medical Power of Attorney, establish an up to date Living Will AND get a Do Not Resuscitate document done.


There is also a part of the living will having to do with mental incapacity. In VA, you have to have a doctor or other professional sign in that section that you are of sound mind at the time the living will is established. The clause allows the person named to put you in a mental hospital, nursing home, etc if it has been determined you are not capable of making the decision for yourself.


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## newfieannie (Dec 24, 2006)

I didn't know a doctor had to sign. my friend went in to his lawyer and he just ask him a bunch of questions. I don't have a doctor. I do have my son as power of attorney. I don't have another. my husbands only had me also as POA. ~Georgia


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## Alice In TX/MO (May 10, 2002)

Depends on which document you are talking about. I think only one needs a doctor signature.


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## mekasmom (Jan 19, 2010)

newfieannie said:


> I do have my son as power of attorney. I don't have another. my husbands only had me also as POA. ~Georgia


Will your son follow your wishes and "pull the plug" if it comes to it? I couldn't trust any of my kids to make that final decision. And boys have a harder time than girls in that situation. None of my sons could do that. And my first born is a coroner.


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## MoonRiver (Sep 2, 2007)

mekasmom said:


> Will your son follow your wishes and "pull the plug" if it comes to it? I couldn't trust any of my kids to make that final decision. And boys have a harder time than girls in that situation. None of my sons could do that. And my first born is a coroner.


If your living will says your wish is to pull the plug, your agent can't overrule it. The purpose of the agent is to try to do what they believe you would have wanted if it is not specifically stated in the lr. If you are conscious and of sound mind, you haven't given up the right to make your own decisions, so the living will only kicks in when you can't.


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