# Frustrated with Kindergarten



## Guest (Jan 27, 2010)

I do NOT homeschool. I fully support those who do. It is just not for me. I send my kindergarten-age son to public school, but one not in the district. It is the best school in the county and rated Excellent every year by the state. 

When he first started Kindergarten, he was put in Title group. This is the kids that are having trouble, don't grasp the concept quickly, etc. After only a couple months, he tested out of it and was back on track to what is expected of them. Teachers were so excited and have NEVER seen a kid go from his level to the norm so quickly. He basically had an "ah-hah" moment and it clicked.

Anyway, I'm frustrated with the homework. He's in Kindergarten and I hate the homework! What am I going to do for the next 12 years? Each Monday, he brings home a homework packet. It has to be turned in on Friday. So, we do a little of the packet each evening, so that it's completed and turned in on time. The packets started off as 4-5 pages and have gradually gotten longer. Now it's 9 pages long. They also have flashcards of sight words they have to know. We try to do them every night (but it doesn't always happen). The thing is that doing 2-3 pages of worksheets can take up to an hour!!! He has trouble with something, I try to explain, he gets upset, I get upset, he gets mad, I get MAD and end up yelling and screaming. Then we don't end up doing flashcards. 

I just don't know what to do with him or myself when this happens. I mean, I don't know how to explain something to him, what am I supposed to do? Spending 7 hours at school and then another hour on homework is ridiculous if you ask me. 

Suggestions, anyone?


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## QuiltingLady2 (Jan 3, 2007)

In Summery - Yes.

For the next 12 years you both have homework. 

period - Make it fun or just let him drop out of school now and quit wasting your time and his frustration.

OK - Now really. If Homework is frustrating you and of course him then talk to his teacher. And/OR find him a tutor right now that enjoys the work and will help him enjoy the homework.

Life is Homework. Learn to Love it!


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## Beaners (Feb 23, 2005)

My own opinion is actually quite the opposite. What on earth is a kindergartner doing homework for? Kindergarten should be about learning by doing, not memorization. Did you know that kindergarten was originally put in place to help kids get ready for 1st grade? Honestly, if this was my child, I wouldn't care what kind of awards this school had received. I would pull my child and switch to a different school.

That sounds a little extreme, but I feel very strongly about how children should learn when they are young. You should not need a tutor for KINDERGARTEN for goodness sakes. It is about learning to tie shoes and share and how to communicate with people. If a child is not enjoying kindergarten you are on the fast track to a burned out kid who hates to learn. I can understand wanting parents to be involved in the learning process. I don't think this is the way to do it.

This is just my own opinion, and it's based on how I feel pre-elementary and elementary age children learn. But I would run away from what this program sounds like from your brief description.

Kayleigh


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## Montanarchist (Feb 24, 2005)

When I realized that more time was spent on non-learning activities than actual learning I was disgusted. All this homework is the price we pay to make sure our kids have the time to learn to recognize whether mom and dad smoke dope, the neighbor is making meth, who to tell if the guns aren't locked up, why every good little boy and girl should become a soldier or sailor... We home-school now.


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## QuiltingLady2 (Jan 3, 2007)

> It is the best school in the county and rated Excellent every year by the state.



I personally don't agree with 'homework' for a child in Kindergarten either. But, I'm wondering about the homework. Is it learning to use scissors, coloring, abc's. Those are normal Kindergarten activities. 

I guess the key to your post for me was highlighted above. You know that the school is considered the best in the county. They are the best for a reason. And that reason might be high expectations of the students and the parents. 

Talk to the teacher. If a solution isn't found with that avenue. Then a tutor might be another solution.


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## pfaubush (Aug 17, 2009)

My Kinder has mountains of homework too. They get a packet on Monday, turned in on Thursday with 2 pages per night and a blank chart that they need to write 1-100 on. This is the standard for all of the schools in our area. It makes dh and I just cringe, since they should be doing this stuff IN school at that age.

Our solution is to homeschool our girls once their adoption is finalized. If I am going to teach at home, I'm going to do it all and do it the way I feel it should be done.


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## okiemom (May 12, 2002)

You sound just like me for son #2. How old is your son? 

My son is born in June so he is young for his age. I had him in a private preschool that my first son had attended and the homework was intense. I was really having to hover over him and force him to work. Life sucked. I could not imagine having to do that for the next umteen years.


We also happened to be moving so I was wondering what to do about first grade. The subject of his age came up and so I started asking all the teachers I knew about my problems and what I should do. 

They ALL told me to make him go to K again. It was not that he couldn't do it he could but the ability to focus was not there. Boys develop later. In his K class there were kids who had just turned 5 and there were kids that were almost going to turn 7. ^ mos difference is big but almost 2 years is crazy.

We kept him back and I will always think it is the best thing I could have done. He is more focused and he gets concepts faster.


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## tiffnzacsmom (Jan 26, 2006)

The kindergarten around here is like that too and we are not among the highest rated in the state and it just got worse.


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## chickenista (Mar 24, 2007)

We were in that boat! Moved to go to the best possible school etc.. and tons of kindergarten homework! More in 1st grade, more in 2nd and other parents talking of 4th grade having up to 4 hours of homework a night.
In 2nd we learned that they did not cover multiplication at school at all and it was to be learned at home and tested at school etc.. blech!
He did it in the kitchen while I was cooking dinner. I was available for questions. And we did it after too.
I wonder if some of his frustration over homework is stemming from general school stress.
It is a very go! go! go! world in kindergarten these days. I vote for maybe taking a day to sit in with the class. You can get an idea of how he handles the actual learning at school adn the completion of assignments etc..

I wasn't that keen on the idea of homeschool, I really wasn't. I felt it was important that my kid learn to meet the expectations of other adults etc..
I am all about the homeschool now though!
We realized that it just wasn't working for us. We now can get ALL the work done, including fun projects, in just a little more time than we did the busywork homework.
Happier kid. Happier mom.
Hang in there and let us know how it goes.

ok.. after reading the above post I feel free to say .. you think it is bad now!? Just wait!


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## Guest (Jan 28, 2010)

My girls go to a really good Kindergarten here. They have one sheet of letters a night or a little book to read to us. The letter sheets are just copy worksheets and the books have maybe 4-5 words per page, 6 pages long. They've already read the book to the teacher, so it's just review for them. 

Can you make it a game for him? Do the flashcards while he's in the tub and he can earn an extra 30 seconds of fun time in the tub for each word he gets right or he can stay up one minute later. When it comes to worksheets, tell him he has 20 minutes to get it done. If he gets it done in 10 then he can stay up an extra 10 minutes. Find his "currency" and work it. If he likes lego's then he has to do his homework every night in a set amount of time for 10 days to get more legos. My kids currency is staying up later than bedtime. 

I would talk to the teacher. They don't know it's too hard unless you tell them. They might have pointers to help you, too.


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## Guest (Jan 28, 2010)

My son is 6. He just turned 6 in December. Part of it is just that he doesn't want to sit still and do his work. The other part is that they are starting pre-reading skills. When he had trouble before, it was with sounds. The worksheets would have a letter, like A. Then there would be 3 pictures: an apple, a cat, and a bus. They have to circle the picture that starts with A. Which I think is age-appropriate. But that was like speaking Chinese to my son....anyway, that's what they worked on and got him back up to speed. But now, they are doing "sight words" and ending sounds. Ending sounds is totally over his head. I thought sight words were simple words that just had to be known, and are hard to sound out: the, two, etc. But they have sight words like "big" and "nine"...in my book those are ones that should be sounded out to read. Yes, they are common words but shouldn't have to be memorized.


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## Guest (Jan 28, 2010)

http://www.mrsperkins.com/dolch.htm

Here's a list of Dolch words that "they" expect kids to just know. It's split into different levels. He's still pre-primer. I think they have to know these words by 1st grade.


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## stormwalker (Oct 27, 2004)

Lyndseyrk said:


> of them. Teachers were so excited and have NEVER seen a kid go from his level to the norm so quickly. He basically had an "ah-hah" moment and it clicked.
> The thing is that doing 2-3 pages of worksheets can take up to an hour!!! He has trouble with something, I try to explain, he gets upset, I get upset, he gets mad, I get MAD and end up yelling and screaming. Then we don't end up doing flashcards.
> 
> I just don't know what to do with him or myself when this happens. I mean, I don't know how to explain something to him, what am I supposed to do? Spending 7 hours at school and then another hour on homework is ridiculous if you ask me.
> ...


You need to find help!
Enlist his teacher. She should be able to help.
Find a high-schooler interested in teaching.
He needs someone to excite him about learning.
This is not everyone's thing!
Don't blame yourself, just find someone who enjoys the process!
Good Luck!


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## therunbunch (Oct 5, 2009)

We went through this too, then decided to homeschool (though the decision was based on other things that were going on in the school). Now we spend 4-6 hours a WEEK on schoolwork. Both DD and I are much more relaxed and she is actually AHEAD of her grade in all subjects (except math.. she's right on the level).


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## jamala (May 4, 2007)

I taught in public school for 10 years and was always getting fussed at by parents and administrators for not giving enough homework. My thoughts were if I can't teach it in 7 hours a day to your child why should you have to do it at night, when you should be enjoying time with your kids. The National standard for homework that is taught to teachers and recommended to be given is 10 min. per grade of school. So my first graders should have had no more than 10 min. a night of homework. Kinder. was 5 min. and if you had a sixth grader they should have an hour. I am so glad I homeschool now!


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## shanzone2001 (Dec 3, 2009)

jamala said:


> I taught in public school for 10 years and was always getting fussed at by parents and administrators for not giving enough homework. My thoughts were if I can't teach it in 7 hours a day to your child why should you have to do it at night, when you should be enjoying time with your kids. The National standard for homework that is taught to teachers and recommended to be given is 10 min. per grade of school. So my first graders should have had no more than 10 min. a night of homework. Kinder. was 5 min. and if you had a sixth grader they should have an hour. I am so glad I homeschool now!


I am a teacher and I agree 100%!!!!! 10 minutes per grade level. My students are with me all day and once they go home they need to be with their families ENJOYING their time together, not being stressed out over homework.
I am sorry I have no advice other than talk to your son's teacher. Every teacher is different and therefore give different levels of homework.


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## PyroDon (Jul 30, 2006)

helping with home work is just being a parent


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## stormwalker (Oct 27, 2004)

PyroDon said:


> helping with home work is just being a parent


If it isn't your forte- the child and parent will both suffer.
The child will pay in the long run.


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## ejagno (Jan 2, 2008)

jamala said:


> I taught in public school for 10 years and was always getting fussed at by parents and administrators for not giving enough homework. My thoughts were if I can't teach it in 7 hours a day to your child why should you have to do it at night, when you should be enjoying time with your kids. The National standard for homework that is taught to teachers and recommended to be given is 10 min. per grade of school. So my first graders should have had no more than 10 min. a night of homework. Kinder. was 5 min. and if you had a sixth grader they should have an hour. I am so glad I homeschool now!


This is exactly my thoughts. I had a teacher doing the same thing to one of my sons in grade school. I contacted the Educational Administrator at our school board and was told that he should not EVER have more than 1 hour of homework throughout elementary school. I brought this information to the principal and teacher in a parent conference meeting. The homework was drastically reduced from that point forward.


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## okgoatgal2 (May 28, 2002)

we aren't to assign more than 15-20 problems/questions per day. period. per subject. in middle school. our elem have a sheet or two, but it is a review of what they did that day in the class. talk to his teacher and ask for an explanation and recomendations for assistance.


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## bryteyedgemini (Jan 24, 2010)

went through the hour to two hours in homework with my daughter in kindergarden a couple of years back and my son last year....poor kid was 6 years old wanting to run and play and instead it was 7 hours much of it spent in a chair and me getting phone calls explaining how he was having trouble paying attention...then he gets off the bus at 4 and does homework till between 5 and 6 then dinner then bath then its almost time for bed....my kids hated kindergarden, sad to me because i loved it and still remember alot of the year and my teachers name, my daughter is in 3rd grade and cant remember her kindergarden teachers name,,,,yes it will continue, my 5th grader had about 1 to 2 hours of homework everyday last year...talked to the teacher and when she had the nerve to say my son wasnt using his time wisely enough and his homework could be done in half an hour every night i explained politly that my husband and i could not complete it in that amount of time and that all of the extra steps that she insited he use in his math were very time consuming and confusing, she appologized and told me that the curriculam dictates what she must teach and there is not enough time in the school year to get through it all so some skills must be honed at home and parents need to be willing to be involved...when i responded with something to the effect that that is easier said than done when trying to help 4 children each needing something different one on one in such a short time every day especially because im working and going to school myself, she smiled and responded try it with 23 (cant argue with that).....the conversation ended a few minutes later with something like "he is a good student and I don't see him struggling in class but if he is struggling at home you may consider implementing stronger study habits and make sure he gets plenty of rest, thank you so much for coming in" hang in there and try to make it fun...sorry i dont have anything better for ya


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## bryteyedgemini (Jan 24, 2010)

and although homework is just being a parent this is a little much and its difficult to enjoy taking the fun out of being a kid for your kindergardener and the fighting is no fun either, I can relate its not helping the the homework that is the problem, it is the amount that is in question here i think and the fact thatyou are overwhelmed with it at the moment, no one automatically knows how to teach their child, im still learning and I still get frustrated and overwhelmed and want to vent a little and find a new approach if nothing else, i hope you realize you arent alone and many of us are still searching for the answers


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## hoggie (Feb 11, 2007)

first of all I have to say that that sounds like a lot of homework and stress for a six year old.

I may be teaching you to suck eggs, but do you know about concentration periods and how to use them. Basically, anybody (adults as well as kids) can only really concentrate for about 15 to 20 mins, after that, even if you think you are still concentrating, your brain zones out for a period before coming back to concentrate. There are exceptions like the ability to hyperfoocus, but for most people that is how it works. So when you sit down for homework, set a kitchen timer for 15 minutes. Work for 15 mins, then have a little break, get up and do something else for a couple of minutes or so, then come back and do another 15 mins.

Depending on your son, play game swith his homework. I remember at one point when my DD got a little stale, I got some little animals finger puppets. I sat so that my arm was behind her and the finger puppet was sitting on her desk on the other side. The puppet got away with saying all sorts of things to her - always in a silly voice. It made DD laugh, and the squirrel could correct her, encourage her etc. without any upset at all.

If he has things to learn by heart like spellings, do it while out for a walk, or riding his bike. 

Mmost of all have fun. Try to make a game of as much of it as possible. And try not to let him see that you are hating every minute of it - at six he will adopt a lot of your reactions to things and if he realises that you don't like it, he will naturally dislike it too.

hoggie


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## bryteyedgemini (Jan 24, 2010)

great advice hoggie!!! my son and I did spelling and math problems by playing ball...I post the spelling list on the wall....he throws the ball at the wall and says a letter then catches the ball and does it again till he spells the whole word then turns around and throws to me or bounces it on the floor and spells from memory....or I call out a math problem...2+1 and throw the ball to him and when he catches it he says the answer...my oldest likes this game for multiplication reveiw especially because when he gets one right he gets to call out a problem for me to answer....he likes to call out huge numbers and try to stump me...lol


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## gottahaveagoat (Jun 5, 2006)

I'm kinda with you on the homework time...That is just to much time for a young kid to be dong it. We have a homework policy of 15 minute for K, 30 for 1st, 45 for 2nd...You get the idea. At our grade schools, Kindergarden around here you should already know how to tie your shoes, identify your abc's & colors and count to 50. K here is more about learning rules (be quiet,hands to yourself etc), learning to put your letters together to make words, basic math, etc. My daughter could read and multiply before she even went to school. That was not required. She just loved learning and we would sit and do work everyday. Her idea, not mine. She would beg me to teach her something, anything. I enjoyed just being with her so it wasn't a bad thing. It has really paid off too. Her brain is like a sponge, she sees it or hears it 1 time and can repeat things almost word for word. She is now a Freshmen in high school and number 1 in her class. She is taking all honors classes that the juniors take. I wouldn't say she enjoys doing the work more she just likes to do a good job at everything she does. She has had several perfect scores on the states ISTEP test, teachers can not believe it. Say nobody does that. Not suppose to anyway. She one day wants to be a pediatric doctor, and if she continues on her path she will probably make that happen, God willing.


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## ajaxlucy (Jul 18, 2004)

It sounds like too much homework for that young age. If you want to try to get the homework guidelines changed, you could talk to the teacher and school administrators. Unfortunately, there are a lot of parents that want the kids pushed academically, even at 6 years old, especially at the "best" schools.

Perhaps you could ask the teacher if all these skills need to be mastered in order to do well in first grade. If they do, your choice might be between getting the school's curriculum changed or spending lots of time on homework this year. 

Or you could pull him out, let his brain have another year to mature, and let him start kindergarten (maybe a different program?) again next year.


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## akhomesteader (Jan 5, 2006)

I'll probably get blasted for this, but I think homework for ANY age child who is in school all day is absolutely nuts! The "teaching" that goes on in most schools is designed to reach only a very small window of children who just happen to learn the way teachers try to teach. The system is in the sewer! (I'm not referring to the classroom teachers. They have an impossible job) The methods are ineffective. All they're doing to early elementary children is teaching them to HATE learning. At that age, the focus should be on developing motor skills, developing their imaginations and getting them excited about learning ---- learning about everything around them. The "system" is spitting out little drones who are trained, starting at age 5 to learn to sit in a cubicle, follow ridiculous and mind-numbing rules and crank our papers. They have no love of learning by the time they reach high school. For most children these days, they hate school before they finish kindergarten. I know there are a few exceptions. 

Good Grief! Homework in kindergarten!!! I remember my kindergarten year very well. We did LOTS of "art" --- cutting, gluing, painting, clay things, glitter, paper mache', all sorts of things. We listened to classic stories for kids and learned songs. We listened to all kinds of music, including classical, folk music, kids songs and everything in between. We ran, jumped, skipped, played games. We also learned the letters of the alphabet and learned to count. We had plants to take care of, and a couple of pet mice. I know, the mice thing sounds odd, but it was a jumping off point for us to learn science concepts and to ignite our curiosity. Having plants and animals gave us a chance to learn about nature and the world around us. We were in a large city, and this was the only such opportunity for many of the children. 

I think you're "excellent" kindergarten is horrible. Of course, I'm a strong advocate of homeschooling. Homeschooling is NOT simply doing what your child does at school, only doing it at home. At home, you can teach your child so naturally, in a way that is fun for both of you. It does not have to cost much at all, and by the time your child is in third grade, he will probably be way ahead of other children his age who are in public school. I could go on and on about that, but I won't. If you can't, or absolutely won't entertain the idea of homeschooling, then I think you should at least consider getting your child into a different school with a different philosophy. Maybe that's not possible in public school these days. There has to be a better way. Maybe talking with the teacher, school board or something might help. I just could not stand by and let them do that to my child.


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## Laura Zone 5 (Jan 13, 2010)

> I do NOT homeschool. I fully support those who do. It is just not for me. I send my kindergarten-age son to public school, but one not in the district. It is the best school in the county and rated Excellent every year by the state.


My kids went to PS through 6th, 5th and 3rd grades. 



> When he first started Kindergarten, he was put in Title group. This is the kids that are having trouble, don't grasp the concept quickly, etc. After only a couple months, he tested out of it and was back on track to what is expected of them. Teachers were so excited and have NEVER seen a kid go from his level to the norm so quickly. He basically had an "ah-hah" moment and it clicked.


I personally love the 'ah ha' moments!! 



> Anyway, I'm frustrated with the homework. He's in Kindergarten and I hate the homework! What am I going to do for the next 12 years? Each Monday, he brings home a homework packet. It has to be turned in on Friday. So, we do a little of the packet each evening, so that it's completed and turned in on time. The packets started off as 4-5 pages and have gradually gotten longer. Now it's 9 pages long. They also have flashcards of sight words they have to know. We try to do them every night (but it doesn't always happen). The thing is that doing 2-3 pages of worksheets can take up to an hour!!! He has trouble with something, I try to explain, he gets upset, I get upset, he gets mad, I get MAD and end up yelling and screaming. Then we don't end up doing flashcards.


It's too much. That is why the frustration level is so high. It's simply too much. But remember they have to follow state guidelines, and the way their schools gets more money is if they produce "A" students.....so they are going to ram this down their throats, for the funding. It's sad....kids become the bargaining chip.




> I just don't know what to do with him or myself when this happens. I mean, I don't know how to explain something to him, what am I supposed to do? Spending 7 hours at school and then another hour on homework is ridiculous if you ask me. Suggestions, anyone?


You could hire a tudor. Sylvain Centers are great, but expensive.
Homework only gets worse. Every year it is more and more and more.
Now they are giving high school kids projects to do over the summer and it counts towards their next year's grades.......They get no breaks. Really.
You are right, it is ridiculous. But it is what it is. And it will always be this way, and it will get worse. The teachers told the kids at the end of each year "Now ____ grade is going to be even more demanding than what you did this year, they will expect more out of you than I did and there will be more home work." Hey way to pump them up huh?

Maybe you could look into the private / charter schools in your area and see what they have to offer, if home education is totally out of the question!

HTH
laura


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## HOTW (Jul 3, 2007)

I think the homework is excessive. The reason it is scored excellent is becasue the kids can pass tests. That does not teach them to use their minds or to work independently. It does not allow them to enjoy learning or appreciate what they learn. Memorizing does not mean they will learn the subject. Children lern in different ways and the schools only tend to teach in one manner. We had an issue with our eldest years ago because she could look at a math problem and answer it but would get graded low because she didnt show the "work" involved. Mind you this was also th esame teacher who would ask my daughter to convert test answers like 20/24 into precentages because she did it faster than the calculator! When I found that one out I told off the teacher for pulling the need to see your work on the paper. It was obvious to her she was doing it in her head but she could't step outside the narrow box that defined what math was supposed to look like on a test. I have learned the hard way that schoools are not better because they excel in state standards and that some schools thta don't meet the standard can be excellent places for children to learn


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## shellbug (Jul 3, 2005)

Is the homework part of his graded work or just "extra" papers for practice? My public school kids (2nd and 1st grade this year) bring home lots of papers that they don't HAVE to do and both are making great grades without doing the extra stuff...HOWEVER - you should investigate - I found that throughout kindergarten, 1st and 2d grades, my kids spend a lot of school time eating and watching movies (nothing educational like we used to have when I was in school... you know "modern art", Bolivia, manners, what to do in an atomic attack) - they watch Shrek (which we would not allow them to see at home because of the sexual innuendo), Scooby Doo (which scared nightmares into my boy. Express your opinion that they should use school time for education, except for recess or special programs. My daughter got to school at 7:45 had breakfast, then lunch at 10:30 and snack at 2:30 and got out at 3:00 for kindergarten and first grade. Some kids eat breakfast at home, then again at school. No one hardly had their kids walk to school...I walk mine...If weather is too badfor outside recess kids aren't allowed to go straight to their classes, they must go to the gym and SIT QUIETLY ON THE FLOOR. There should be enough time inthe day to get through kindergarten curriculum (they did it in half a day when I was a kid), but we didn't have 100 words we had to know to get to pass into first grade. I don't think they need to eat so much at school..my kids get candy rewards if they bring back papers signed by me and if they don't get any marks against their name during the day. Sure, just take our kids, stuff em full of sweets, fatten em up, make em sit still all day, then send homework home for US to educate them..this makes sense, how?


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